Batman Regresses

Rating: 5/10 (16 June 2005)

I really wanted to like this film.
I didn't.
Here's why: The first thirty-forty minutes of the film: totally useless. We've already seen Batman's origins in the first film, albeit a coincidental double-murder at the beginning of the film, and we've seen all this martial-arts rigmarole in Kill Bill and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. You can take away the entire first segment of the film, and nothing is lost.
The film doesn't really start until Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham. At this point, I was thrilled that the movie had moved along. The thrill was short-lived.
I found the mobster angle to be interesting: Bruce Wayne/Batman was in a corruptible network that had become incorruptible by virtue (or vice) of its own corruption. Fine.
Batman catches the Kingpin of one gang, and all of the sudden, everything is better.
Hokum.
If that had actually happened, there would be a mob war that Batman would find almost impossible to handle by himself.
Then, there is the obligatory being-chased-by-the-cops angle. (Oooh, is he good or bad? I just don't know!!!) In the third act, Bruce Wayne/Batman is chased down by the ghosts (?) of the "Legion Of Shadows" and they are threatening to destroy Gotham via the poisoning of the water system.
First of all, martial arts have nothing to do with the Batman myth, unless we are just talking about one of the graphic novels. Even so, it doesn't advance the plot at all: In fact, it delays the plot by about thirty-forty minutes.
Secondly, one Mafia kingpin going down does not mean that all crime in Gotham ends. Yes, I know his underling (please, this sleaze is the second-in-command?) is still running free, but there would be plenty of other mob families waiting to take control.
Finally, these non-entities from the beginning of the film show up again, and terrorize the city with poison in the water? Why was this film made? To make money, obviously. I certainly coughed up my five-and-a-half bucks.
I guess my main problem with the film is the intent of the film, which the director has made clear is to make a "serious" Batman film.
You know what? When Tim Burton made his first Batman film, he was accused of the same thing.
The mistake that Christopher Nolan has made is that he has made a Batman film that is serious, but he forgot to make it fun.
He certainly wants to eat his cake and have it too, by trying to throw in "funny" one-liners, but by the time we get to them, their time has woefully passed.
At least three times during this film, I couldn't wait for it to be over. I haven't felt that way about any Batman film so far, even the inept Batman Returns.