Holy Bat-Reruns!

Rating: 1/10 (25 June 2005)

So,it's an all new original Batman film? HA! this film can't even get past the opening credits without "borrowing" from the other Batfilms! The Warner Brothers Logo morphs ,just like all 4 previous films.
What else have we seen before?
Batman pulls up criminal by lapels: "What are you?""I'm BATMAN!" Hmm... didn't we see that in BATMAN?
Batman standing on pillar among Gotham's skyscrapers as heroic music swells...add a Batsignal behind him...and yep..already done in BATMAN.
Batman knows KungFu? See BATMAN & BATMAN RETURNS.
Bruce falls through a hole and finds the BatCave... wasn't that in BATMAN FOREVER? Bats frighten Bruce into becoming Batman...also part of BATMAN FOREVER!
Batman hands his secret identity over on a silver platter? See all 4 previous BatFilms.(This only worked as a plot point in BATMAN RETURNS!)
"Batman Begins" wastes about an hour telling you he's a secret KungFu expert. And wastes even more time trying to make Duchard & Ra's Al Ghul the same man.(Why does Liam Neeson claim he's Ghul?). Speaking of Ra's,he should have been of Arabic origins,not a feudal Japanese warlord.Ken Watanabe is a fine actor but Arnold Vosloo would have been THE Ra's Al Ghul.And speaking of Ra's,where is his daughter Talia? She was a MAJOR Batplot character as she was obsessed with Batman! (Would've made a better female lead character!)
Why not give us more story by advancing the film,and logging the previous four "as read"? (i.e.: Batman is a superhero,destroying villainy,knows all sorts of fighting techniques,has cool toys,do not mess with him. Need we know anything more?)
If you read the comics,BATMAN became a bat not out of HIS fear,but the fear bats give others. He does not find the cave as a child.(Stupidly drilled into us in two films now.).
Much as I love Michael Caine...sorry,Alfred is NOT a Cockney. Gary Oldman looks right as James Gordon,but it's a thankless role.Morgan Freedman is relegated to Alfred#2,as they basically take most of the meat from Lucius Fox's character.(He's a shrewed Wayne Business exec.,not a technological errand boy.).The Scarecrow is reduced to a 2nd class villain,only slightly better than the crummy version they did of BANE! Where is The Scarecrow's scarecrow outfit? (Oh,right...we're trying to look "cool").Cillian Murphy makes a cool Dr.Crane,but he isn't given enough screen time!
What did the film get right? Well,Joe Chill DID kill the Waynes in the original story. Carmine Falcone is/was the head of Gotham's mafia. Mr.Zsz does carve a notch in himself for every murder he commits. That's about it.
And how does this disaster end? By suggesting their next NEW idea:The Joker!(Rumour of Two-Face is also in the works.). Let's erase this film from your memory,and imagine a Batman vs. Scarecrow directed by Tim Burton and starring Michael Keaton...we'll forget all about those other three BatFlops.