Would be perfectly splendid... if it weren't for Katie Holmes!!

Rating: 4/10 (13 December 2006)

"Batman Begins" isn't your father's campy, candy-colored Adam West Batman. It isn't even your older sibling's Tim Burton, gritty popcorn flick either. This is about the horrible circumstances that made Bruce Wayne into the Dark Knight, and while it's an exciting story, it ain't always pretty. It raises questions about the difference between where vigilantism ends and heroism begins, and whether it's ever justified to take a human life. British actor Christian Bale nails the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman perfectly. He's not only physically right for the part with his classically handsome features and medium build, but he's able to project difficult emotions with just his eyes or voice. Ol' reliable Michael Caine is also in fine form as loyal butler Alfred, bringing so much to a thankless part. My favorite, though, is the chilling Cillian Murphy as the brilliant but twisted Dr. Jonathan "Scarecrow" Crane. Like the greatest villains in film and literature, Murphy is eerily calm throughout most of the movie, and the scenes where his quiet veneer breaks, it scares the hell out of you. Murphy could very easily replace Willem Defoe as Hollywood's go-to bad guy. So why is my review not in the "love it" category? It's because of that insufferably bland, doe-eyed, side-of-the-mouth talking (I thought I was watching Popeye) Katie Holmes. She plays Rachel Dawes, Bruce's lifelong friend and possible love interest, and she's a black hole of energy and life in every scene Christopher Nolan had the poor judgment to put her in. A vacuous, self-righteous, whiny, unsympathetic goody two shoes, Rachel gives a lecture on morals at every given opportunity, has no sympathy towards a grief-stricken Bruce when his parents' killer goes free, and recovers from her boss's murder in all of three seconds. Not to mention Holmes is the least convincing attorney since Christa McFlockhart hiked on a miniskirt to play Ally McBeal. And what attorney would be caught dead at work in knee-high boots and slit skirts three sizes too small? There are plenty of more talented, more appealing brunettes in Hollywood, but Christopher Nolan apparently didn't take the time in auditioning any of them. Too bad... if it weren't for Tom Cruise's new Stepford Wife, "Batman Begins" could have been truly special.