Best movie 'Ever' -- ha ha ha ha

Rating: Null/10 (24 June 2006)

I have seen the future of lame movies, and this is it.
I usually see these sorts of movies at a free preview, and in this case I'm sorry I missed it there. But at least I didn't have to pay anything for this dreck. I got it from my local library.
This is the saddest big movie 'comic book adaptation' I've seen in a long while. Plot holes the size of universes. Empty performances. Wild changes in pacing and lame car chases.
Honestly, none of these characters was appealing (with the exception of a grossly underplayed Sergeant Gordon). And he's a cypher compared with almost any of the folks in the Spiderman universe. Alfred, as played by Michael Caine, is all nobility and wry smiles. Liam Neeson should be grateful his idiotic character dies at the end of his foul mess.
Katie Holmes shows the range of emotions from A to B. She's so dull, and lifeless here, memories of better performances drain from my mind. And Christian Bale looks positively horrible here.
The most disturbing thing is Bale uses his vocalization from American Psycho. Nothing like having Batman's alter ego being Patrick Bateman.
And the worst thing for me was how all the actors seem badly cast. Tom Wilkinson as 'Carmine Falcone'? Rutger Hauer as some despicable CEO? What a waste. Cillian Murphy as the Scarecrow? He looked more like Kitten Braden (Breakfast on Pluto) than a bad guy. And he was about as frightening as a kitten, too.
I am not a fanboi of the Bat, so I'm not sure how faithful this goop is to the original Batman universe. But the psychology here is of the quality you find on candy hearts at Valentines.
Bruce Wayne starts in prison. Too bad they didn't leave him there. I didn't get transported into a cool place, I just sat there unable to believe how much this series had fallen since Batman Returns.
Awful. And something like this gets better than an 8.0 (8.4 as of 6/24/06)? I'm beginning to think the stats are fixed. Either that or you folks who loved this mess just don't know a good movie. Give me Batman Returns any day. I won't be returning to this franchise again. Period.