Immense disappointment

Rating: 5/10 (14 June 2005)

While I am sure anything I say will not dissuade the Batman faithful from seeing the movie, I warn you, steel yourselves to be very disappointed.
The movie was a catastrophe for the first hour, and then became merely adequate. They screwed around with the characters greatly, totally changing Ra's Al Ghul AND the Scarecrow (And for those who know how to pronounce Ra's, the movie will be painful). I won't even go into how idiotic the Ra's character was. The scarecrow character was alright. Cilian Murphy gave a better performance than I expected and I liked it. Still, the deviation from the comic roots was a disappointment for one so in love with them.
The movie seems to have no clue how to start, and yet it doesn't start in medias res either. It just stumbles to its feet like a drunk and slowly sobers up as it walks home. Bruce does a number of things near the beginning without motivation, and then continues to do silly things for the whole of the movie. None of the actions had weight to them, and the whole first hour seemed like a perfunctory advertisement to lead us into the real movie.
And the script, HA, it's a joke. A very bad, two hour long joke. There are a number of plot holes involving the microwave gun, which is stupid in and of itself, and the bulk of the characters are incredibly one dimensional. The first hour reads like an extended trailer, where the writers tried to wring out some Shakespearean quote from EVERY scene. A silly script isn't bad, since it is based on a comic book and they're usually rather silly by nature, but the movie takes itself so seriously that the silliness is exaggerated. There are no moments of goofy mirth a la Peter Parker trying to shoot webbing for the first time, and they seemed to try and make up for this with one-too-many "hyuck" lines during the car chase. The script manages to move slowly, yet also not have that much happen, and also seem rushed at the same time. A truly noteworthy feat.
The acting is a bright spot. All performances are adequate. As usual, Morgan Freeman gives the strongest performance and is a breath of fresh air compared to the other raspy, bland performances. Unfortunately, you don't get to see him too frequently. And about Ken Watanabe, why in the world did they even INCLUDE him in the credits? He is on screen, I kid you not, for no more than two minutes. Katie Holmes was dreadfully miscast. She has no on-screen presence and is overshadowed. There are a number of B-list hotties in Hollywood that could have filled the required shoes much better. Michael Caine is enjoyable as usual, Liam Neeson is adequate, and Gary Oldman is good. I think I enjoyed Gary Oldman the most because, for once, he's not playing a bad guy. Which is just cool.
The directing is like an ADD child got a hold of the camera. There are way too many cuts, and the fight scenes are so jittery and cut-up you can't tell what the hell is going on. Keep a shot for more than 5 seconds, for the love of Pete! This was, I feel, the biggest disappointment. While the script sucked, I don't expect much from David S. Goyer. I do expect a lot from Chris Nolan. "Memento" was great, and "Insomnia" was also very good. Let us hope this is the low point of Nolan's career.
In what is probably the greatest strike against the film, I am also a die-hard Batman fan, and was disappointed with how they mangled the comic's storyline. I am not against this, though. Tim Burton mangled the story for his Batman movies, yet I liked them a lot. It was the combination of a directing style that just doesn't float my boat, a script with dialogue that feels disconnected and without weight, Katie Holmes, and a disappointing turn with Ra's Al Ghul. I know I continue to harp on him, but he was one of my favorite characters in the history of the comic, and I was very disappointed in his portrayal.
In short, the script was overblown and self-important. The fight choreography is bad. The Batmobile looks like soft-core porn from a survivalist magazine (Roger Ebert described it as a Hummer's wet dream). The casting was uninspired, and most of the performances weren't stellar (If nothing else this movie confirms that Katie Holmes can, indeed, not act). The directing was serviceable for most parts, but all in all was not up to par. I can say this, it was at least better than "Batman and Robin." Although that's not hard.