Film may have 'Balls,' but not a whole lot of laughs

Rating: 4/10 (29 August 2007)

In the realm of sports satire films, there's the top of the heap ("Bad News Bears"  original version, "Slap Shot," "Caddyshack," etc.) and everything else (including "Major League," "Dodgeball," "Kicking & Screaming," "Taladega Nights," "Nacho Libre," "Blades of Glory," "Baseketball," "Benchwarmers" and many others).
The newest poke-fun-at-athletics release, "Balls of Fury," easily falls into that latter category. And while there are some decent belly laughs, mostly coming from dramatic actor Christopher Walken (who won an Oscar for one of the heaviest dramas of all-time, "The Deer Hunter"), as the androgynous, villainous Amerasian Fu Man Chu knockoff, Feng.
The space usually reserved for Will Ferrell or Jack Black in a picture like this is duly filled by Tony Award-winning (in 2002 for "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee") actor, Dan Fogler. Sure, he's puffed up, unkempt and scruffy, but he appears to be doing a bad Jack Black "School of Rock" impersonation (even 1980s heavy metal band Def Leppard music fills the soundtrack).
With all of the charm of a stinky, unshaven Donkey Kong geek, it's very difficult to fall in love  or even root  for this character, whose name (for the record) is Randy Daytona.
Uh, okay, I suppose as a professional, I have to describe a plot at this stage of the article, although I don't know what the point really is. Randy was a star table tennis player at the age of 12 in the 1988 Olympics, but an embarrassing forfeit loss to obnoxious East German Karl Wolfschtagg (Thomas Lennon, the film and TV series, "Reno 911") made him a national laughingstock.
Now, some 20 years later, he is forced to sustain himself by performing at a local run-down night club. These are some of the funniest scenes in the movie as Randy does a series of cheesy, humiliating tricks while the few patrons basically ignore the effort.
Enter FBI agent Ernie Rodriquez (George Lopez, "Shark Boy & Lava Girl," where he played a light bulb), who persuades the chubby dork to enter a state tournament in hopes of being invited to Feng's annual ping-pong tournament. Rodriquez wants Randy to spy on Feng, who is suspected of smuggling guns, or something like that. Oh, and it seems that the evil Asian also killed Randy's Marine sergeant father (Robert Patrick, "Walk the Line").
Another chuckle moment comes when Randy is beaten by the short, goofy asthmatic Payton Oswald (King of Queens, a voice in "Ratatouille"); but he rebounds to crush "The Dragon," a 10-year old girl (Na Shi La).
He is trained by ancient Chinese player, Master Wong (James Hong), and his beautiful daughter, Maggie (Maggie Q, "Live Free Or Die Hard"), and soon secures an invitation (in the form of a golden paddle).
Once at the tournament, it's standard comic convention, with one-by-one elimination of the players until only Randy and Wolfschtagg are left; but in order to avoid being too conventional, there are a few twists and turns here and there.
Like previously mentioned, Walken (even though he looks like he's doing a poor John Lithgow impression from "The Mikado") carries the movie as far as it can be carried. Just appearing on the screen, he causes enough laughter to make one forget the rest of the stupidity.
Almost a parody on his own career, at least Walken is not afraid to roll around in the dirt for a few cheap laughs. And, in this film, he really rolls around a lot.
But, if you're looking for light (and I mean very light) summer fare, one could do worse than "Balls of Fury." Not MUCH worse, granted, but certainly as bad.
Like "Mr. Bean's Holiday," for instance.