The cheaper, nastier, less funny Dodgeball

Rating: 3/10 (4 January 2008)

Imagine Dodgeball, one of the funniest movies in the past five years, then imagine it done again, but with the sport changed, some different actors in it, and make it not as funny. Yes ladies and gentlemen that was Blades of Glory, now imagine some stupid film producer sitting there and taking Blades of Glory and repeating the process, that unfortunately is Balls of Fury. A movie that is not a tenth as funny as it thinks it is and so unoriginal it makes your eyeballs scream in agony as you watch it! Balls of Fury unfortunately was the first movie I saw of 2008, hopefully I just made a poor choice and this is not a reflection of the quality of movies I will see throughout the rest of the year! Anyway Balls of Fury is a limp fish of a comedy with a couple of funny set pieces and Christopher Walken on delicious over the top form. But the majority of the film is just very poor slapstick, the lead actor, Dan Fogler, acting like a prat, and he really is the most annoying actor I have seen in quite some time, and just some jokes that aim for funny but end up being more irritating than anything else. The jokes range from very average to pretty much hateful, I mean how many jokes can you make about a blind person walking into things? According to this movie a lot more than you could ever hope to imagine. My other big problem with this is the fact the first half hour isn't even remotely funny, at least the middle and final act seem to be trying, the first act just seems pitiful, in fact the first act rivals Epic Movie in terms of badness!
So let me get onto the performances. Firstly there is Dan Fogler, now I find Adam Sandler an annoying actor, but nothing could prepare me for how hateful I would find Fogler. The last movie I saw him in was Good Luck Chuck, which I forgot he was in though looking back on it I hated him that as well. Well in this movie he seems like a very poor man's Jack Black, with not a millionth of the charisma nor the comedic timing. The script doesn't help Fogler, but personally I think that only thing that could make him less annoying is perhaps a tranquilliser or perhaps a bullet! Maggie Q plays his love interest, yes unfortunately you read that right. Maggi Q has been decent enough in Mission Impossible 3 and Die Hard 4, but here she is so bland and lifeless. Plus you can almost see that she doesn't want to be in this movie, despite Fogler's annoyingness he at least looks like he's enjoying himself, Maggie Q just seems half asleep. And the pairs romance is never, ever believable! So its down to Christopher Walken as the chief villain, Feng to steal the movie, as he always does. Walken seems to be having a blast, and he delivers some killer lines. But I was more confused by him being in the movie than anything else, he's a great talent, so why is he wasting his time in this rubbish? Anyway he has the best lines and the movie at least makes you a bit more alert whenever he is on screen. A shame then that the final ping pong match involving him is pretty poorly done. George Lopez is pretty poor as the FBI agent along for the ride and to be honest Lopez even seems aware his character isn't funny.
My biggest problem with Balls of Fury is the fact it just isn't very funny. While the movie is honourable in the fact it keeps references to genitalia to a minimum, surprising given the tag line and title, the movie instead relies on heavy slapstick and poor fart jokes. Fogler is hit in some way at least one hundred times in this movie, not once is it funny, not even worthy of a slight smirk. The movie also relies too much on the blind master bumping into things, or perhaps in the most misjudged joke of the past year, him having a sex with a man thinking its a woman, a scene that aims for hilarity but seems closer to cruel. Thankfully the script is funnier when Walken arrives, or at least he makes things such as "Hurry up, we're missing the antiques road show!" a bit funnier than they would be when said by a lesser talent. The movies fight scenes are admittedly above average, but they only really arrive towards the end when the movie is already too stuck in the mud its stuck itself in to be rescued. The movie also has no originality, the strange sport idea has been obviously taken from Dodgeball, and the movie aims to be a funny Enter the Dragon when it so obviously is anything but funny.
So unfortunately Balls of Fury is a very poor comedy enlivened by one actor. In fact had Walken not signed on this would head for 1/10 territory and stand firmly alongside Epic Movie. Thankfully with him, and perhaps the mad German ping pong champion, the movie has a tiny bit of life in it. Still this isn't worth a recommendation, more a warning. And be very afraid everyone if Fogler ever hits it big, because I swear to god I am going to avoid every movie he is in for a long time after this performance!