Loves itself that much it should get a room with itself

Rating: 4/10 (17 July 2018)

FTR this review does have spoilers - that's because I had a lot to write and get off my chest.
Baby (Ansel Elgort) has somehow wronged (Kevin Spacey) Doc and to make up for it he is being used as a getaway driver, after all, he's the best there is (apparently). While this is generally okay as he's a damn good driver, it's also bad as it's exposing him to a world of crime and danger that a young man of his age shouldn't be exposed to. Baby is obsessed with music (he produces his own music), he has been since he was young, it also helps him cover a medical condition, he loves nothing more than dancing through life, whether it's putting a soundtrack to the crimes he's forced to support, caring for his deaf foster father, or falling for a local waitress.
After all the hype and promos in the lead up to this I actually expected this to be an all singing and all dancing driving movie - unfortunately I wasn't blown away. The film was enjoyable and had some slick driving scenes, but it wasn't anything new, or exciting. The plot starts ok, but then quickly becomes pretty standard, before it becomes fairly dull and predictable. Some of the characters were weak and didn't feel convincing and some were just outright annoying, in some instances they drifted between delivery of emotions worse than Baby's lane discipline when outrunning the cops. I know it was supposed to be a 'car' movie rather than a character movie - but I'm afraid, for me, it was neither.
Let's start with Baby himself, I found myself wanting to punch him in the throat at the start of the film for trying to be smug and cool - he's young, hip, music making, fast car driving, street dancing, free-running, caring, plucky and lucky (vomited yet?). Towards the end of the film I really wanted him to suffer on account of letting his foster dad suffer because he was too scared to step away from the criminal life, despite having the means and evidence to rat them all out, and for bringing Deborah into a world she didn't deserve (as well as just being a general jerk). I didn't feel sorry for him or his back story (dead parents), I didn't think he was sweet for trying to be caring, I didn't think he was enjoyable because he danced in the street to his own beat, I didn't care that he could drive well. Ansel Elgort did a damned fine job of disinteresting me and making me not give a monkey's. Next, Jamie Foxx, he played an out and out nasty piece of stuff in Bats, he's probably the second most featured person in this film so he gets a mention over anyone else. Frankly, he deserved what he got - and I was actually hoping for that outcome sooner in fact. He was the catalyst to everything going wrong but even before that he just upset my film taste-bud's, it was like he was acting out a 80/90's gangster stereotype - come on dude, hasn't society moved on?? Maybe the fact that he angered me so made his performance actually really good and I'm the idiot here?! Griff, JD, Flea pretending to be Flea, Buddy and Darling and others were neither here, nor there. At times they were just 'meh'. Even towards the end of the film when Baby is being hunted down by Buddy for Darling's eventuality (I didn't spoil it) - it didn't feel that passionate or driven. If anything I was surprised that he'd managed to escape soo many cops randomly, take multiple bullet-wounds, and still appear to walk, talk, and balk without trouble - he was a genuine superhero!! Doc is another example of giving mixed emotions; he's sinister, menacing and threatening all the way through the film, but then forgives Baby and sacrifices himself at the end of it (d'oh, I spoiled it).
Some of the scenes had no relevance being featured and just ended up being stupid - buying guns from crooked cops, when they already had guns already - why would Doc send them with next to no info, especially with Bats and Baby - hell, why didn't he go himself?!?! Why make Baby 'scope' the post office when he looks guilty as sin, scared as hell and he's the getaway driver and does best off know nothing anyway?!? How stupid is it to find Doc still in the same office after every job, even when things go wrong - d'uh! The only character I felt emotional about (other than the hatred for Bats) was poor Deborah, she was fooled by a potential suiter who claims to be sweet, it turns out he's not as sweet as she was led to believe - loses her job, loses friendship of any colleagues she may have, gets exposed to violence and death, shot at, threatened, kills a man and then has to wait while the person she's fallen in love with spends time behind bars. And FTR, I didn't believe the chemistry between Deborah and Baby; it felt too rushed and unbelievable. They didn't appear infatuated enough to be convinced to run away together after just two or three conversations, in reality I wouldn't expect her to wait for him to be released from prison - but then hey, suspended disbelief and Hollywood ending so I suppose she would. I thought I'd feel sorry for Baby's foster dad he that felt like he was just there to meet a PC quote, he's black, old and disabled - well done, that gets a lot of ticks.
I think the film had the potential to be really good, it had some decent action, it was modern and stylish with a good soundtrack - but it felt heartless due to its lack of character substance, and the quick degradation of an interesting plot. It felt to forced and too in love with its own hip-ness.
I haven't even written me discontent about this being a heist/getaway film yet - but I've got to stop writing now - this is making me angrier the more I type. Sorry, 4 out of 10.