A horrific wish mash, with tedious lip syncing to Lionel Richie!

Rating: 2/10 (22 September 2017)

I do not even know where to start, to describe this so called entertainment. I admit, I am not into musicals. My guess, is that the filmmakers were trying to capture some of the magic of La La Land, a film I loved despite the fact that it was a musical, because it was such a damn good film.
This turkey on the other hand, had a lead actor, who was kind of an idiot savant, wounded twerp, muted sort of guy. Who, all of a sudden came to life, when in the presence of a cute waitress working in a diner. Wait a minute. He was holding in all of that charm, just waiting for the right waitress to light up his heart? Pure, unadulterated silliness and nonsense. On their first encounter, at a laundromat, where all of the clothes in the machines were color coordinated, they display the kind of chemistry only Romeo and Juliet enjoyed.
This guy drives in a way that would shame Lewis Hamilton. His skills behind the wheel are nothing short of Houdini, combined with Michael Schumacher, and Sebastian Vettel, with a little bit of Valentino Rossi thrown in for good measure. The first sequence is quite impressive, though ridiculously over the top. But then that's it. Baby Driver still has another hour and 40 minutes to go, and it never reaches that level of breezy magnificence again. Not even close. Not visually, and not thematically, either: the insouciance of laid-back criminals gives way to tedious angst and handwringing.
I can't recall ever before seeing a movie that gave up this early: usually they wait till the last act to pop out on us, to run out of ideas and steam. Perhaps the only truly original thing about Baby Driver is its astonishing pivot from gripping opener to rote plot full of totally unsurprising clichés: Baby doesn't really want to live a life of crime, but boss Doc (Kevin Spacey) is blackmailing him. Baby is so tormented, so haunted by the memory of his dead mother. Get over it. Of course it was traumatic. But, you were a kid. And now supposedly you are a man. Act like one. Please.
The worst scenes are the ones where he is dancing and grooving to the music he is listening to on his vast selection of iPods, including one with pink glitter, that Richard Simmons or Freddie Mercury, would not be caught dead using. In one scene, he is a junkyard, dancing and lip syncing to a Lionel Richie song! Unbelievable. Kind of a rehash of Flashdance, without the gorgeous lead actress. Who on earth does that? Does anyone even remember Lionel? And if they do, do they have his music on his iPod? This film tries so hard to be hip, and it fails miserable. The lead is not hip, his moves are not hip, and they portray him as this savant, who hears the sounds of the universe all around him, in the forms of singing and silly songs. Inane. Dumb. Unconvincing. Contrived. Nonsensical.
I walked out after an hour. I just could not take any more abuse. If you are under 13 you might enjoy this film. It does have sort of a teeny bopper quality to it.
Kevin Spacey was a caricature. A totally comic book character. His lines were stupid. This is a really bad film. I just do not get all of the good reviews. I think audiences are getting a lot more tolerant of nonsense.