Completely silly waste of time -- for teens and under ONLY, if that

Rating: 1/10 (3 July 2017)

With all the hype over this movie, I had to come in here and try and be one little island of reason amidst the ocean of insanity. For the life of me, I cannot understand how it's getting any praise at all, let alone heaps of it. The premise/plot is colossally stupid, so it's check-your-brain-at-the-door stuff from the get-go. But even within those cartoonish parameters, there is not one interesting story element nor compelling character to be found. The movie is cliché after cliché. It has this one parlor trick, which surely you've heard about, where it often syncopates the (ridiculous) action with the music track. To which I reply, okay, fine. In no way do I see how this somehow elevates the terrible script and two-dimensional characters. At no point did I care about what happened to anyone. I hate to overuse simple descriptors like "dumb" or "pointless," but honestly, I can't use them enough about this movie. If I can save one over-13 person the waste of time, I will feel like a hero. Please save your money!