Cops must have read the script since they magically appear so quickly.

Rating: 1/10 (13 September 2017)

Edgar Wright yeah? Edgar Wrong. I love Edgar Wright movies, but I thought this script was truly amateur hour. So I wondered what happened? Then I read this is the first screenplay he wrote by himself. And so I beg, please do NOT do that again. It is one mistake after another. Nothing really makes any sense, which I guess is fine if you're going for the surreal world of Scott Pilgrim or his other films, which was which were true masterpieces, not this junker. I saw some professional critic say (can you trust those guys anymore?) that this was "his masterpiece." I hope he got paid well. This movie is amateurish on every level, and it isn't just the script, the story is hackneyed as well. But back to the script, you know what I hate in crime movies more than anything? Magic cops.
Magic cops is what I call it when police show up within a time frame that in real life is much too fast. If you commit a crime and within seconds or less than a minute there are multiple cop cars and helicopters on you-- those are magic cops. If every time you turn around, there are cops, those are magic cops. That may give the director a quick way to get into a chase scene, or move the plot where you want to go quickly, but it is cheating the laws of reality. The ability of the cops to always find the criminal very quickly regardless of what they do or where they go or how little info the cops should have, is cheating the viewer of a realistic story. Which is fine for a surreal movie like Wright is known for, but this is played straight. This is a straight up crime romance. It is lazy writing and nothing more to blame.
Another thing I hate is when supposed seasoned criminals do very dumb things in order to make it easier for cops to catch them. For instance if you are stealing cars to make a get away and also switching cars to aid in your escape, why would you then park right in front of where you live or where you are doing stuff? And since you changed cars why are the cops there within a minute or two? The writing is lazy, that's why. The criminal all of a sudden conveniently acts like a foolish amateur at the worst possible time and the cops magically appear everywhere--that sums up this movie. This happens over and over and over.
The acting is fine for what they are asked to do, but what they are asked to do is either mawkish or hackneyed tough criminal types. I get the feeling that Wright was trying to create a Guy Ritchie movie (failed at that Edgar, completely) because he wanted to be seen as more than the guy who makes funny wacky weird movies. He wants to be seen as street. He fails bigly. The amount of hype this movie gets is sadly so typical these days for bad movies, and I think a lot of it has to do with people who are maybe drinking or other things, maybe out partying before seeing these types of movies that appeal to young guys, because if you are sober and not very young, you should cringe at this type of stuff. Imagine Fast and the Furious without anything but sitting around talking like idiots with a few driving scenes without any of the wild and big production stuff they do. What you get is dumb and tiresome dialogue, mawkishness, hackneyed machismo, and a forced romance that doesn't seem real just to give the movie a romantic motive for the lead.