A review too shocking for IMDB!

Rating: 1/10 (9 December 2019)

FIRSTLY: This review was up for months before it was unceremoniously taken down. The submission page says it was declined for 'unspecified reasons' - but this happened months after it was approved, with hundreds of people having weighed in on its helpfulness. There are no spoilers. There are no R-rated cuss words. There is no racism, sexism, or any other kind of hate-mongering. Maybe IMDB has a problem with reviews suggesting that a film is so lame that the audience needs be in a state of chemically-induced mind-alterment to enjoy it. I don't know. I've seen that in plenty of reviews, but I took that bit out of the title this time around, and will only encourage good ole America-approved alcoholism from now on. In any case, taking down perfectly reasonable reviews with no explanation and no accountability - especially for major studio titles like this - is simply unacceptable.
Folks, what do you want to see here, in the user reviews? Do you want a bunch of grade school quality shillery from fake studio puppet accounts? Or do you want REAL people to write what they REALLY think? Because apparently, it's not just shills we have to worry about - there is definite financial incentive for the mods to delete negative reviews of major studio releases. Because even a hundred lazy shill reviews cannot counteract the power of one scathing, honest review - and the shills can be spotted from a mile away, especially if you look at a reviewer's account history. (I am not saying this is what happened here, but the circumstances are certainly suspicious...)
It's almost pointless to repost this now, since it's no longer on theater screens and my two cents aren't going to influence anyone not to shell out the $20 for a ticket. But here it is anyway.
ORIGINAL REVIEW: This is not worth one star. But it's not worth 9+ or whatever it currently has either. So in the spirit of Thanos and his pokemon gauntlet, let's balance out all the studio tools who gave this a 10/10 with undeserved but necessary one-star ratings.
Realistically, it's like a 4-5/10. It's a dumb superhero epic with a ton of overpaid stars and over two dozen films leading up to this "storyline". It has the eye candy of hundreds of thousands of work hours worth of top-dollar CGI animation. It has spaceships, one-liners, explosions, magic jewels, and robot suits. It has very large characters with impressive rippling muscles, and the promise of a sequel that will put all the franchises back to normal so everyone can continue making money.
What it doesn't have is a point of any sort, other than to just bludgeon you over and over again with "entertainment value". Which basically comes down to one big CGI battle after another, 'cause watching these human action figures trade one-liners is only entertaining if you know and care about the MCU and its vast horde of intellectual properties. On occasion, the dialogue exhibits a tiny bit of self-awareness of just how silly this whole enterprise is (like when someone said, "you mean there's a Spiderman *and* an Antman?"). That's nice. And for a brief moment here and there, it almost becomes the dark and grandiose space opera it actually wants to be - before quickly reverting to its tropey, Disney-fied comic book superhero franchise self.
If your mind was somehow blown by this film, then you must have found Inception to be "thought-provoking". (Yes, that is meant to be derisive.)
On the other hand, if you spent the entire 2.5 hours scoffing with bitter disappointment, you're not off the hook either: scoff at yourself for expecting anything other than what you actually got. Just shut up and be glad they didn't let Michael Bay or Zach Snyder anywhere near this.