I Literally Thought It Might Never End

Rating: 6/10 (3 May 2019)

There were EASILY 45-minutes of this film that should have ended up on the editing room floor. All the things I couldn't stand about the Harry Potter and the LOTR worlds, namely the melodrama and seriousness, have been splattered all over my cinematic universe. When, (spoiler redacted) dies, I was seriously thinking, "I know (spoiler redacted) is a big effing deal but he/she has been in the process of dying for 11 hours and 5 minutes." That was the thing about all the major deaths too. Pretty much all the heroes who fall have frustratingly long funereal sequences, as if a real person died. If (spoiler redacted) had died in real life during the production of the flick, then, by all means, have a sappy, meandering funeral scene for him. However, (spoiler redacted) is alive and VERY WELL; so, that funeral was a ridiculous waste of time. I would have enjoyed spending that time watching well-executed action sequences and superhero shenanigans. Not to mention, these deaths are not even vaguely sad to me. The MCU has countless avenues by which they may resurrect ostensibly any character offed; so, yeah, with that in mind, give me a break with all the very "DC" gloom. My last beef is with Captain Marvel. Seems to me she could have ended that mess pretty damn quickly. Instead, she decided to disappear for 2/3 of the movie, visit the worst barber shop in the galaxy while she was gone, and then reappear just in time to demonstrate how easy this whole ordeal could have been handled had she only stuck around in the first place. It's kind of stupid to have her in the movie, because the MCU has adorned her with such omnipotence that no foe stands a chance. She's like bringing a bazooka to a water-balloon fight. One second, everyone's splashing around, having a good time. Then, Danvers shows up and the whole neighborhood ends up dead. She's just too powerful to be cinematically useful. Movies featuring Carol Danvers that are longer than 30 minutes are not really being honest. Overall, "Endgame" was exhausting. Somebody had to tackle the undertaking of its creation. In that task, the cast and crew were largely successful; but, still, something was missing. Maybe Paul Bettany was the Avengers' lucky charm.