Endshame

Rating: 1/10 (18 October 2019)

For a while, the hype for this movie was built up because it was intended to be the culmination of all 22 Marvel Cinematic Universe films. However, taking a look at it now, all I see is that they were lazy with the writing and went with the most predictable storyline possible and used time travel as an excuse to replay their greatest hits. It didn't feel like an original story whatsoever. There are great movies being made with actual heart and soul and I am deeply saddened to say that Avengers: Endgame is not one of them. It lacks originality and whatever originality there is is simply the writers pandering to the fans (eg. Captain America being able to lift Mjolnir). The entire movie also felt as if they expected the audience to have seen every single Marvel movie before it. What of those who haven't? I seriously don't understand how this movie became the highest-grossing film of all time. And now they are campaigning for it to get an Oscar?!!!!! I have to be honest when I say that it does not have my vote. I grew up with the Marvel Cinematic Universe and these characters meant so much to me and a lot of people. They brought people together and this movie only makes them look like a joke. Especially Iron Man, Black Widow, Thor, and Hulk. The Russos thought they were being funny by making Thor into Santa Claus. Well, if they were going in that direction, they might as well have sent him to the North Pole and have him use the Bifrost to send presents to kids every Christmas!!! More efficient than using a sleigh with 9 reindeers!!! No elves needed (proven in Thor: The Dark World which they keep trying to remind us happened). As for the Hulk, he was even more useless in this film than in the previous film! I don't know what they were thinking. When did Shrek get a PHD in physics??? And Thanos at the beginning was just a rip-off of Two-Face from The Dark Knight, a movie that, need I remind you, DID win an Oscar. Might as well have Nebula walk casually out in a nurse costume as the Avengers facility was blown to kingdom come. And don't even get me started on Black Widow's death!!!! They basically just rehashed Gamora's death from Infinity War. Like, did they even get Ross Marquand to come back as Red Skull or did they just use archived footage. Black Widow was a character we as Marvel fans grew to love and relate to because she was damaged, she had demons. She as a character that we as fans who have our own struggles could relate to. And she deserved a better death than that. She didn't even get a proper funeral!!!! That just makes me so mad ðŸ˜¡ !!!! And then Iron Man, The Godfather of the MCU!!! They shouldn't have done that to RDJ. In the film, he starts out in space like he did in the first trailer for the film and then in the actual film, it's only true that he will die in space for, like, two minutes. That is, until, surprise, surprise, Captain Social Justice Warrior comes to the rescue! I mean, she can fly through space and shoot plasma beams but she can't even hold out on her own against Thanos without his mirror-image kitchen knife!!! Even Wanda Maximoff gave him a literal run for his money and when she lifted up Thanos, she didn't look like she was struggling at all, she was all "please keep all arms and legs straight and enjoy the ride cause you gonna die for killing my Red Tornado rip-off boyfriend." That final battle has its cringeworthy moments: like that all-star ladies team-up but I've seen grannies walking into a book club meeting look more intimidating than them. I mean, what the hell was Mantis there for? Was she gonna be their cheerleader? If so, where were her pom poms (Ohhhhhh, the actress's name is Pom...Klementeiff. And was that supposed to be funny, Kevin?). Then there was the funeral scene, with everyone acting like the president had died or something. I mean, I bet you Drax didn't even remember who it was that died to begin with and was probably asking himself why everyone was so sad while Aunt May was getting Happy's number (probably when they started dating). And Nick Fury saw the funeral and he was all "well, I'm done with this planet. I'm gonna ask Carol about that new hairdo cause it's not doing her any favors" while Carol was all "I rescued him from space for this?!!" Nebula was probably even wondering who to play paper soccer with and Wanda was probably wondering whether or not she had to stay in her room. Then you have the Old Man Rogers debacle with Bucky and Sam all like "oh, yeah, you invented time travel, that's cool, we're just gonna pretend like that's normal and all" and Bucky thinking "well, looks like I'm the sidekick now". Plus, what about all the stuff about the Infinity Stones and branched timelines that the Ancient One was babbling on about. Did everything she said suddenly not matter because it was Captain America? It feels like they only brought in familiar faces because they thought it would look cool in the final battle. The way this movie went down, you would think that the final battle was the ONLY thing that the Russos directed. And the way they opened the film was just so random you didn't know if it was just another sneak peek or not, I mean, of all Avengers, why start with HAWKEYE?!!! I get that they wanted to show the scope of the impact that Thanos had with his Snap but to start with HAWKEYE?!!! They should have left that scene in Infinity War and opened the movie with Carol arriving on Earth or something. There is so much to point out about this movie that it is just exhausting. It feels like another attempt by Hollywood and Disney to make a cash grab and let everyone know that Big Brother (Mickey) is watching and controls all. Not too difficult to imagine an army of Mickey Mouses marching and saluting dear leader (Bob Iger).