A concatenation of cardboard cut-out clichés

Rating: 4/10 (9 February 2010)

With over 2000 posts already, what else can one say about this extraordinary movie? Sure, it's derivative. Yes, it is episodic. It is certainly very spectacular. But that is the nature of 3D: it's nothing if not spectacular. Even stereo slide shows are pretty, but prettiness is never enough. The sound, the music? More Wagner than Morricone, but how many original tunes are there anyway? The Morricone sound is there, and even the visuals from 'The Mission' are there. Look at that climb up the waterfall. What point was it, except, say, 'Why don't we have a waterfall?' Then there's the too-lengthy horse-breaking sequence. Every second Western has to have one. You want acting? Thankfully, none of the cast is required to act, even though there is a hint or two that one or two of them have some histrionic ability. Drama? The essence of drama is conflict, with a change in the characters as part of the resolution. The character, Grace, does change, but altogether too early in the show to be really part of the drama. I did stay until the end of the credits; were there really 3000 on the payroll? I suspect that the walkouts were more a matter of bladder control than boredom. Or was it the headache from the 3D glasses? This retired cinematographer has great admiration for the technical staff. They are very clever indeed. But it is possible to be clever and unintelligent, and in this movie they go close to that.