Expensive mumbo jumbo boreathon

Rating: 1/10 (7 January 2010)

Awful, awful waste of money and time. Hackneyed, cliché-ridden, and 3-D so what! Admittedly a strange nexus of events in my life did not help viewing. Within the last three weeks I have been to Orlando, and the 3-D in 'Avatar' cannot compare with the 'Simpson's Simulator Ride' for being 'in it.' When the natives fly vertically, we do not see it through their eyes - too many people would leave the cinema sick! I also caught the James Cameron-directed 'Terminator Experience' in 3-D. Guess what, twenty minutes of Cameron cinema worked, this does not. I am afraid the spectacle is pretty feeble, and I was not immersed in this Disney fairyland with its only a dozen or so creatures (money run out?). Now for plot and characterisation, or lack of, should I say! In the last few days I have watched 'Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee' - same story but it really happened - is Cameron paying the Sioux any royalties? Then last night I watched 'King Arthur' - a lanky female archer with little bre**ts painted in blue leading an attack of blueies on the bad guys - is Cameron paying Keira Knightley any royalties? And as for rip offs from Steven Spielberg and 'Jurassic Park' and Kevin Costner and 'Dances With Wolves' - well, we'd better not get started. Supposedly a sci-fi film, there are huge mechanical robocops, but the hero has to put up with a 1960s' wheelchair, while full body DNA replicants of an alien species can be produced, but the private contractor army has to make do (in 2154 AD) with 1990s' bullets, grenades and high explosive (money run out for lasers, James?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, this has to be one of the worst, most underwhelming movies of all time. Music - would you believe I came out of the cinema humming 'Titanic?' Well done, Mr Horner! And to cap it all, when I got home 'Destination Moon' made in 1950 for peanuts was on TV - in five minutes showing take off from Earth, there was more realism and emotion than all of 'Avatar.' But I have given it 1. Why? Because James Cameron has persuaded his countrymen to spend a quarter of a billion dollars to make it, and hundreds of thousands of Americans to watch what is basically a straightforward condemnation of the USA's past 'push west' and present arrogant imperialism in Iraq and Afghanistan. Can't all be bad, can it?!