Prepare To Sit and Wait.... and Then Wait.... News Flash: More Waiting.

Rating: 2/10 (24 March 2017)

Yes, I know I know - everyone loved this movie. Except me. Here is why.
This movie is perfectly described by one of it's scenes: Amy Adams and a crew of scientists approach the giant alien shard (we've been waiting for them to enter this spaceship for about forty long minutes). They approach, they enter, we wait.... and it cuts to them AFTER THEY TALK TO THE ALIENS. That scene describes everything I feel about this film: waiting and waiting for something remotely interesting to happen, and then right when that life-changing moment is supposed to happen - it doesn't. Arrival simply falls short.
Arrival is boring. That is the most simple way I can put it. It really tries to be interesting; we watch and wait as Amy Adams attempts to recreate the Miracle Worker with misty ink shooting octopus creatures playing the role of Helen Keller. We trod along as this "brilliant" team of scientists hold up cue cards to the most dull race of aliens to ever exist. "Wow! Now we know how they say the words "Swiss Cheese" with their wobbly ink designs! We're learning so much!" Meanwhile you sit in the theater, wanting to scream in the faces of the creators and actors of this film, "We don't care! Please dear Lord, something happen! Please!" However, your cries do not help you as you endure yet another round of deep mouth breathing from Amy Adams and a screechier version of the score from "Pacific Rim".
The simple retort from people who LOVE this movie is, "You probably just didn't get it." Here's the thing: I got it. The problem is, after two hours of pure torture - the movie has a CRAAAZZAAYYY TWIISSTTT WHHOOAAAHHH! There are two major problems with the "twist": Firstly, the elements that the twist introduce poke so many holes in the story that it drove me insane sitting in the theater. Second off, by the time the twist is introduced - you don't care because you've just been sitting here watching alien translators for two whole hours - GAH!
Arrival tried to have an "Inception effect" on people. The creators wanted the viewers of this film to leave with their minds blown. What they forgot, is Inception had very awe inspiring plot twists and features AND was highly entertaining. Not only that, but in all honesty - the twist in this movie makes little to no sense. And yes - I UNDERSTAND THE TWIST, it just isn't a good one.
What I can sum this review up with was my reaction (in theaters) to when Jeremey Renner literally said the words, "Let's make a baby." I laughed out loud. The funniest part: those words were the most interesting of the entire film. This movie tries too hard. It isn't deep or revolutionary. It is simply a bore.