story? characters? why bother?

Rating: Null/10 (18 November 1998)

A criticism sometimes leveled by basketball purists at the NBA marketing people is that, if the game were left up to the marketers, it would just be a long dunking contest with no actual game.
"Armageddon" is that long dunking contest. Lotsa effects, lotsa stunts, lotsa loud music, lotsa yells, and not much else. No need for an actual story. Okay, okay, so there was some half-baked idea for a story. I meant a BELIEVABLE story.
Remember when the asteroid went past the moon, and somebody in mission control said the asteroid is now spinning uncontrollably? I thought, great, now that the plan to drill and plant a nuclear device is no longer valid, we can wrap this up fast, see the earth destroyed, and go home. But no, they said it, then they forgot that they said it, and the plan to split the asteroid in two worked like clockwork.
Do the guys in foil suits with helmets feel like dorks when Liv Tyler and a parade of minor characters run past them onto the runway, in street clothes?
Did anyone else get nervous that the asteroid was about to obliterate all life on earth, and Bruce Willis gave this long-winded cornball speech while the clock was ticking down?
"Last Man Standing", "The Jackal", "Mercury Rising", "Armageddon"...is hiring Bruce Willis the quickest way to tank a movie?