Typical Bruckheimer Testosterone-Filled Nonsense

Rating: 1/10 (14 November 1998)

Literally a two-note movie: legitimately dazzling SPFX combined with yet another Jerry Bruckheimer-produced testosterone-laden tale of the search for redemption (ie. "Top Gun," "Days of Thunder" etc. etc. ad nauseum).
Utterly flawed in too many ways to mention.
If you really need to view the clearly under-exposed Bruce Willis (that's a joke ~ please don't write me about it) in another flick, continue reading:
To see that he can actually "act" PLEASE rent "In Country" (I won't even mention "Pulp Fiction" ~ whoops! Too late.) But find "In Country" ~ this guy's more talented than anyone gives him credit for.
Which is not proven here.
For action and FX, skip the obvious "Die Hard" flix (except for the 1st one with Rickman) and rent the amazing "The Fifth Element"...
But Bruce holds no candle here for wasted perfs: *everyone* else in "Armageddon's" talented cast is wasted:
From Billy Bob Thornton as the head of NASA's team, to Ben Affleck as Bruce's daughter's (gorgeous Liv Tyler) heart~throb, to the getting-better-with-each-supporting-appearance Will Patton, to the always remarkably-odd Steve Buscemi, and to Tyler herself (whose contract must have had a clause that made Bruckheimer use one of her ancient Aerosmith dad Steven Tyler's still-'70s-sounding tunes every five minutes).
Hey! As a bonus, you get to see the seriously-aging rock band perform one of the 700 Aerosmith tunes from the movie at the end of the tape.
Total nonsense. An awful flick (I can't call it a film).
No Niro~Stars. Zero. Zed.