Pitiful

Rating: 1/10 (5 February 2002)

One of those annoyingly overblown films that is far more popular than it has a right to be, this syrupy rubbish succeeded in stealing much of the thunder of the superior Deep Impact.
Earth is doomed, and only a group of overbearing Yanks can save us. They're a collection of rogues, criminals, perverts and potential psychos, but they can drill holes well so they're our only hope. Cue a collection of hysterical (!) scenes as they're trained to be astronauts, then shot into space to destroy an oncoming asteroid that's the size of Texas.
Bay and Bruckheimer are never names that suggest subtlety or good taste, and true to form after an admittedly impressive opener the movie soon descends into a mess of overly plush special effects and saccharine sentimentality, not least when the doomed inhabitants of Earth gather around their most photogenic national monuments to stare sorrowfully at the sky. No cliché is left unused, no opportunity for a heartfelt dialogue is avoided; these people truly have no shame.
The impressive cast is not even worth mentioning. They rattle off the dialogue as if it was written ten minutes before the cameras started rolling. Buscemi in particular was wasted, and it's a sad day when a Bruce Willis character is not even the slightest bit appealing.

Quick cuts and confusing camera angles shouldn't be allowed to cover what is essentially shoddy filmmaking. One day the people who make these films successful will realise what they've been doing. I hope they can live with themselves.