I almost walked out on this movie, and I was on a plane!

Rating: Null/10 (23 June 1999)

Because I can't find "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" in the video stores (and haven't seen it yet on MST3K) I'll have to take my girlfriend's word that it is, in fact, worse than "Armageddon". I loathed every minute of this movie. I wanted the plane I was in to crash to put an end to all of our suffering.
The extraordinary scientific illiteracy of this picture (the credits claim that they had a technical consultant from NASA. Either they didn't listen to him, or they didn't bother to call NASA to see if they'd ever employed a man named Bernie who got his degree from the University of Ralph) would be forgivable if there were something else to redeem it. After all, we routinely forgive Star Wars, Star Trek and James Bond pictures for their absurdities. The real trouble was that the characters were as silly and stupid as the science. Was the shotgun scene that introduces us to Bruce Willis's character supposed to make us like him or care what happens to him? No matter how many soulful looks Liv Tyler aims in his direction, he's still an ass.
The rest of the characters are no more interesting or involving. The director and editor rape and pillage dozens of other movies for their shots, giving the movie the feeling of an MTV stock footage festival.
That's why I damn near walked out of this movie-- 30,000 feet over Saskatchawan.