A story pitch made into a movie

Rating: 1/10 (2 January 1999)

Some folks know a little about how some movies are made; a person or a group of people pitch a story idea to a studio. This is before a script is completed. The studio either likes the idea and contracts a script, the idea is changed a bit *then* a script is written, or the idea is scrapped altogether.
Alas, Touchstone Pictures didn't go the latter route; instead they did something which is all too common in movies these days: they made a movie using the story pitch and didn't bother spending money on paying someone to write a script.
Characterization is utterly non-existent. "Armageddon" seems more like a 140-minute Pepsi commercial. Nice images of standard Americana and world culture are splashed upon the screen, trying to drag emotions from the unforunate viewer. But without backstory or an iota of character development, the viewer is left emotionless (unless of course the TV commercial tactic worked).
We care little of Affleck and Tyler's "romance". How do we know they are really in love? Because of an animal cracker? Bruce Willis' character is wasted as well. Just who is this guy? Where did he come from and what does he stand for? Other than the fact that he is a great oil driller who doesn't like employees sleeping with his daughter, we know nothing of this man.
The only interesting character at all is Billy Bob Thorton's "Dan Truman". Perhaps interesting is a bit strong; we only seem vauguely attached to his character because he seems to get the most screen time. He is the most human of the crash test dummies that are wandering around the screen.
The special effects, while well done, surely can't save this one. Another insipid film came to mind when watching "Armageddon"; "Independence Day". We see taxi cabs hurtled into the air (in fact, it seemed as if the meteors were aiming at taxis alone), and New York landmarks destroyed. But comparing these two dogs of American cinema isn't doing right by "ID4". "Independence Day" seems like "Citizen Kane" compared to the illogical and downright awful "Armageddon".
The bright side: If there is a sequel to "Armageddon" (working title: "The Rock"...oops, thats taken), it would almost have to be better than the original.