And all over the south, before the emergency status drops, aryan children in overalls make soapbox space shuttles

Rating: 1/10 (22 June 2006)

While I'll admit that this movie is clever in parts, like all of the government agents chasing down Bear (I love that one shot), this movie is lousy.
If you own a copy of this movie, place it upon an anvil, yell "This how we fix on Russia Space Station!" and smash it with a ridiculously large monkey wrench.
There was another movie that was actually good, followed the same basic plot and came out at thhe same time and it actually had an asteroid hitting Earth, devastating millions and putting 6the tears of a vanquished humanity into my eyes... Deep Impact. I have noticed people saying that the movie is art because it made $600 million dollars at the box office which is like saying Jenna Jameson is an artist because she's the most popular porn actress of all time. This movie IS garbage, popular garbage but garbage nonetheless, see Deep Impact.
Okay, Bruce Willis is an oilman who hates the idea of not having to drill for oil, so much so, that when protesters come near him, complaining about oil spills and environmental disaster, he drives golf balls at them and we all know that it doesn't hurt to get hit with a golf ball and you can't possibly be killed by it so, of course, it's funny.
Ben Afleck CANNOT act!!!!!!!!!!
Once upon a time, JOHN DENVER wrote a song called "Leaving on a Jet Plane", which made sense with his line "When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring," implying that upon return he will drop to one knee and propose to his beloved, there is a reproduced track of the same song with the same line performed by a femalic moron for this movie in which, rather than augment the line to "I'll WEAR your wedding ring", she keeps it the same, to suggest that she'll kneel down before her betrothed and demand a marriage now!
If, no matter what, the guys are going to space, no chance in Hell they're not, what's the point of the psychological imbalance testing?
How does Steve Buschemi get the sunglasses on inside his helmet?
Where did Steve Buschemi get the high tech jeweler's eyepiece?
We call him Hound Dog because he's horny. I do not know anyone who equates HORNY with HOUND DOG. The following comes into my mind upon hearing hound dog: Elvis, The Baskervilles, loud and raucus, blood hound, etc. but NOT horny. What does that mean to imply?
How did NASA get a report on the total makeup of the planetoid(not asteroid) without sending off a probe and, if the thing is rotating erratically, how are they able to ensure any kind of sensible landing at all?
Why is the planetoid shedding so much stuff? It is assumable that it has been travelling billions of miles and I think its own gravity and other radical objects in space would have worn it down to a hunk of fairly smooth and slightly cratered planetary material.
What does, "the size of Texas" mean?
How does an atom bomb, less than a thousand feet into a planetoid, assumedly, as far across in every dimension as Texas, split the planetoid in half? How does the planetoid split from the 'front'(the end nearest Earth) when our team of heroes are working at its side?
I'm sure it was fun to make, just toss off a bunch of prescripted catch-lines and get millions of dollars, but it is just so I.Q. diminishing to watch.
Why do they specifically need Bruce Willis's drill design to cut through rock? Nasa has microwave matter splitters, for heaven's sake.
Why do they need a team of oil workers to operate a drill?
Why can't a NASA physicist put together a drill designed by an idiot?
Why can't a NASA physicist understand how a solar sail works and why would he roll his eyes at the movies most sensible idea?
What the hell does getting a "C" average in astrophysics have to do with anything??
THIS IS cinematic garbage! Watch Deep Impact, you might actually learn a whole lot of neat stuff and the movie is just as exciting as Armageddon, if not more so.