5 words: terrible, bad, idiotic, predictable, garbage

Rating: 1/10 (26 October 2008)

Warning; this comment may contain spoilers.
I wonder why they chose the name Armageddon. They would do this movie more justice by calling it 'The movie where Ben Afleck does a lot of dangerous stuff, survives them and then gets married'. Its also way too predictable and has laughable plot twistings that make you wanna laugh or yawn. Or both. The story is about a big asteroid thats about to crash into the earth and end all life. Willis and Affleck and pals are tasked with saving the earth by blowing it up. Will they be able to manage it? Usually a movie does its best to provide reasonable and believable quests but Armageddon has more seemingly unsurpassable problems than all the Indiana Jones movies together. An asteroid needs to be blown up by oil drillers turned astronauts. Will they be able to make it? A bomb is about to go off with the timer counting down. Will they be able to dismantle it in time? A shuttle crashes into the asteroid, will Ben Affleck survive? The asteroid surface is very hard. Will they be able to drill a hole in it? The space station has a fuel leak and the crew needs to escape. Will they be able to make it? Whilst drilling into the surface a rain of meteorites slams in. Will they be able to survive? Etc, etc, etc, etc. The sheer number of problems makes this story very hard to believe and the endless shouting and mayhem becomes simply irritating.
Then there's the background music. Which is without any fantasy and youl probably could imagine what the scenes where like by just listening to it. dramatic when Afleck and Tyler say goodbye before his voyage. Heroic when he comes back and she flies into his arms. Suspencefull when they have to fight yet another problem. So very predictable.
Then there's the directing and editing. I cant believe anyone thinks highly of Michael Bay. The editing was so fast that at times you simply had no clue what was happening and why. The depiction of a flattened Paris uninspired and not very believable. The carnage in New York too much and grossly overdone not to mention way too long. The movie lacks pace in some parts and has too much in others. This is an important aspect for a director and if he cant understand this the movie is doomed, which it is.
Then there's the acting. The dialogs between Affleck and Willis where awful. The action unconvincing. Affleck does his best to look bored and has a flat display. Willis was not much better. Liv Tyler was not bad but played the - obligatory in these kind of movies - love interest of Affleck with the only purpose in her life twiddling the engagement ring between her fingers. Owen Wilson was like a child so bad. The only actor who got to his usual standards was Buscemi but granted, the dialogs where simply terrible for everybody.
I've seen some bad movies in my life, notably the Seagal or Van Damme movies, but this one really tops everything I've ever came across. After about 10 minutes of watching i predicted the end would be Tyler jumping in Afflecks arms under cheers from onlookers with a hugely heroic music back ground. And duly that happened. Not one moment was a surprise. It wasn't entertaining at all. A black spot on the careers of great actors like Willis and Buscemi. If you wanna waste 140 minutes of your life, then go watch this movie.