This loud mess gave me a headache.

Rating: Null/10 (3 February 2000)

I can't remember a louder, more cacophonous assault on the senses since Batman Returns. An asteroid the size of Texas is heading for Earth, so out of all the geologists and astrophysicists in the world, the leaders of NASA and the free world pick Bruce Willis and a bunch of alcoholics and assorted losers to go into space on a highly specialized mission to blow up the asteroid. Hey, makes sense to me...So they are brought together, Seven Samurai style, and sent to train for the mission. Meanwhile Bruce, who was shooting at his future son-in-law with a rifle, though no assault charges were filed, gets him along too. Liv Tyler is the daughter and love interest, but she just hangs around, all lopey-dopey. And she's always allowed onto highly restricted areas even though she has no direct involvement with the project. They finally blast off in two souped-up shuttles, and that's when all the noise and commotion starts. They land on the asteroid while being constantly bombarded by asteroid fragments in the most annoying quick-cuts and camera jostling I've ever experienced. As they walk around on the asteroid their weight is normal, like on earth, but when it comes time to jump a yawning chasm, that's when gravity goes away. By this time all the noise was giving me a headache, so I forgot whether they blew up the asteroid and made it out alive. I guess they probably did, but I'm not sure.