"Trailer Trash in Space"

Rating: 1/10 (7 January 2000)

Alright, i'm going to do all of you a favour and save you your hard earned money by giving away this so called plot. Asteroid the size of Texas (thas right pardna, size o' Texas) is on a head on collision with Earth and we got a week or something to prevent it from wiping out all life on Earth. Intriguing so far? Read on true believers! Anyway, those big government types (red phones, secret meetings, and all other cliches)decide the best way to blow this sucker up is to send a rantang group of oil drillers with a nuke up into space to blow her up. Why oil drillers you may ask? Why, to drill into the asteroid of course. Let's give a moment of silence for all reality to leave us so we don't feel too insulted.
Thank you. So, the government picks "the best of the best", who contain: an over protective father (the natural leader), his would be son-in-law he attempted to kill with a high powered rifle on the oil drill, a fat guy, a black guy who looks remarkably a lot like Vingh Rahmes), and the pasty slime ball guy whose there simply to bring up "how we're all going to die" a hundred times. Oh, did i mention that they train these guys all to fly up into space, land on an asteroid AND blow it up successfully so fragments don't hit the earth ALL in 3 days? No? Aren't you wishing I hadn't?
Another silent moment. There's some subplot we're suppose to care about involving the over protective father's busty daughter and the would be son in law. Oh, and don't forget all those memorable scenes in the strip club the night before these guys are suppose to save the world. Yeah man, the fate of the human race is on the back of hicks! YEE HAAA!
I could go further into the "plot", how the government installed a fail safe which could be disarmed (yes, a fail safe that can be disarmed AND has the count down on it), or how they take theri space buggy across the surface of the asteroid. Oh, did i ALSO forget to mention that this asteroid has its own gravity? Wish i hadn't, don't you.
So, after reading this, do you still want to watch this "masterpiece"? If you do, let me leave you with this great quote spoken by one of the drillers before he went off into the great beyond..
"Why you bringing that machine gun?" "'Case we run into some space aliens up there."
I rest my case.
"it's gonna blow!"
Nine writers and that's the most memborable line in the whole thing. Could that be because those three words were uttered over NINE TIMES?!
Sigh....