Aquaman: Basically what I expected, and that's not a good thing

Rating: 3/10 (30 January 2019)

Where could I even start?
Let it be known immediately I'm unimpressed with the DC cinematic universe thus far, though not bad I've considered the movies very underwhelming for the most part. I think they dropped the ball thoroughly and rushed to make Justice League (2017) without debuting most of the characters first like Marvel did.
Now Aquaman is a delicate one, because let's be honest he's hard to take seriously. He was silly in Smallville (2001), he was silly in his own cartoon, all the animated outings and the live action television series never even got past the pilot. It's a dude who talks to fish and once taken away from water doesn't really have a gimmick. For this reason (And many more) I was skeptical of the DCU version and with good reason, sure he was fairly neat in Justice League but here? Really?
You see straight off the bat I'll say I like Momoa I'd consider myself a fan, he's a competent actor with a unique look. But he's not Arthur Curry! Aquaman is the blonde haired jock looking character, not long black haired bearded Samoan looking fella! So as much as I like the actor, I struggle to see him as this character who has been around since 1941 and has always had the same look which they've not embraced.
So getting over that what do we have? Over 2hrs of CGI laden silliness featuring our beloved fishman, Atlantis, tridents, oceanic life fighting for him and goofy looking villains. In fact it's so CGI-laden and so colorful it may as well have been animated because it practically is anyway.
The story is very Hollywood, very by the numbers stuff so no surprise there. The cast is decent enough but people like Dafoe just look so out of place because they're too good for this.
I'd like to say this is take your brain out fun but it's not, Suicide Squad (2016) was take your brain out fun this right here is get yourself a full frontal lobotomy mediocrity.
It's cheesy, it's tacky, it's over the top, it lacks the laughs that could have saved it (To an extent) and it's done nothing to redeem the DC universe in my eyes especially considering I'd count this as their worst movie yet.
Aquaman is one of those critically acclaimed movies that I'll never understand why and can only assume it's fans are (Mostly) made up of children and ladies lusting after Momoa.
The Good:
Momoa is the personification of "Cool"
A few funny moments
Some very impressive visuals
The Bad:
That simply isn't Arthur Curry
Hard to take any of it seriously
Tacky Hollywood nonsense