Next time you thoughtlessly toss a plastic drinking straw . . .

Rating: 10/10 (27 December 2018)

. . . it might prove to be the straw that breaks the Kraken's back, the always eponymous Warner Bros. warn the World with AQUAMAN. For many decades Warner's prophetic prognosticators have warned Earthlings about their upcoming Calamities, Catastrophes, Cataclysms, and Apocalypti. AQUAMAN is one of Warner's most urgent such warnings in the History of Time, as it deals with "the Wrath of the Seven Seas" being unleashed upon you land lubbers. Warner's clairvoyant seers predict Dire Consequences if you insist upon bagging your groceries with disposable sacks or gulping your fluids from plastic water bottles and Styrofoam coffee cups. Cigarette butts, loose beer can tabs, indestructible six-pack rings, medical waste, worn-out vehicle tires, rusty shipping containers, and "moth-balled" fleets are among some of the most egregious environmental excesses sure to draw Poseidon's Wrath, AQUAMAN cautions. You can keep denying Global Warming and Ocean Pollution till you're blue in the face. Just remember that finding a replacement Earth will be like looking for a straw in a haystack!