Raise your hands, all of ye who think that Hanks and Bacon look like astronauts.

Rating: Null/10 (8 May 2008)

From the man who gave us such crap as the annoying "EdTV", the indescribably dull "Cinderella Man", the schmaltzy "Parenthood", the George-Lucas-wanna-be "Willow", the Tom-Cruise-sounding-daft-with-an-Irish-accent "Far And Away", the nonsensical it-has-nothing-to-do-with-the-real-Da-Vinci "The Da Vinci Code", and the terminally unfunny and unsexy "Splash", comes the story of three U.S. astronauts who look more like former high-school nerds than real NASA men... If you don't believe me, check out the photos of the actual Lovell, Haise and Swiggert.
I heavily question the wisdom of casting Hanks and Bacon as astronauts, since NASA usually chooses real men, not pansies like these two Hollywood phonies. (Even worse, Howard originally wanted John Cusack to be the third astronaut!) If you thought that Buscemi, Willis, and Affleck were stupidly cast in the ultra-moronic "Armageddon", then check out A13. Not for a second did I manage to suspend my disbelief that Hanks is just Hanks, i.e. the pompous, overrated Hollywood bore, or that Bacon, who is an awful actor in any genre, could be anything but the man who married the "beautiful" Kyra Sedgwick. Paxton doesn't look anything like an astronaut either, but at least he is a likable presence. Harris is good, but I have to question any director who casts Gary Sinise: this man is one of the most uncharismatic, worst actors in recent years.
Ron Howard is infamous for his awful casting choices. I can't think of a single movie he made in which he didn't cast according to his box-office aspirations, rather than according to who suits the roles best. Cash and fame are the sole motivators in his career. Howard is the consummate commercial director, consistently ejecting one mediocrity after another into the already dwindling-quality sub-par world of movies. The fact that his equally greedy and hypocritical Tinseltown peers love him, showering him with those meaningless little golden statuettes, only serves to prove my point.
The story is good, but the casting sinks any hopes of this finally reaching the lofty ambitions of Howard: to finally make a movie that is good enough to be considered as average. I also wasn't too thrilled with the visual look of the space scenes; they have a plastic look to them; everything is shining nice and clean, as if Ron was making an AT&T commercial, not a thriller. Howard also fails to recreate that elusive 70s feel.
There's a funny moment in "VIP" ("Very Important Pennis"), in which a mock journalist by the name of Dennis Pennis tells Tom Hanks and Ron Howard the following: "Tom, you've made the ultimate space movie: completely lacking in atmosphere." To his credit, Howard laughed.