Pick another sports movie

Rating: 2/10 (4 September 2007)

I watched "Any Given Sunday" last night. Amazing cast. Some good NFL Films-style camera work interspersed with that annoying "shake the camera" style that makes me seasick. But geez, did the writers have to drill every obvious metaphor into the audience 12 times? OK, gladiator movie playing in the background while coach tries to inspire pig-headed quarterback. Do you have to keep flashing to the gladiator movie again and again? I get it! Did every character have to act at the extreme end of their personality all the time? Makes them seem stupid, not stereotypical. And the ending... I said out loud as they lined up on the 3 yard line, down by four points in their first playoff game, "if they lose this game, perhaps the plot can be redeemed." But of course they don't. And they very next scene is the coach resigning, taking a new job and his star quarterback with him. Um... what about the rest of the playoff games? Did they win the whole enchilada? Or did he actually quit before the end of their run? Meanwhile the b**chy owner is having her only human moment of the movie, making me wonder if the writers had heard of character development, or if those parts got left on the cutting room floor to shoehorn the movie into 2 1/2 hours.
And the guy's eyeball getting knocked out? Whose idea was that? I'm guessing the SFX guy always wanted to do that scene and talked Oliver Stone into it. Completely unnecessary.
The acting was good, though I couldn't tell if Pacino was skillfully playing a tired old coach or if he is just a tired old actor. Diaz was not in her typical role, which means I didn't even recognize her at first. James Woods's character, the team doctor, actually had depth, and he was fun to watch. I wish the movie had been about him. All the football players, including Jamie Foxx, were forgettable, except for the big dude who worshiped Metallica and loosed his pet alligator into the locker room showers. Rare moment of laugh-out-loud fun in the movie.
Many many roll-the-eyes moments. In the middle of his prayer, the team chaplain says, "there are no atheists in foxholes!" Complete non sequitur, he wasn't in the middle of a war analogy or trying to win over the doubters on the team. The line was just crammed in. Sign of a lack of writing creativity. Likewise, various characters had to trot out the "any given Sunday" line over and over, making the title un-subtle to the point of ridiculousness. Oh, and the team names that the intern at the production company came up with were distracting. The Knights, with a big cross on their jersey? The Crusaders? Oh, wait, more in-your-face metaphors, got it.
Bottom line, probably not the worst sports movie ever but I would never recommend anyone see it. 180 wasted minutes, minus the few on-the-field scenes that were exciting, but you might as well just watch a real football game.