Is someone giving all you kids crackers each time you chirp "pretentious!"?

Rating: Null/10 (18 March 2018)

You know what's adorable? If you look at the past reviews of all the people that are trashing this for being "illogical", "pretentious", "nonsensical", and various petty picking apart at irrelevant technical details of this movie that they seem to be subjecting to documentary standards for some reason, some of their highest rated sci-f/fantasy movies are as follows: Guardians of the Galaxy, Mute, Star Wars, Bright, and so on (One of them has even reviewed THE EMOJI MOVIE twice as high).
You kids can ignore the completely made up science in Star Wars because there's a bunch of shiny space battles distracting you, and even delude yourself into thinking that objectively poorly constructed messes like Mute and Bright are ok, but you take personal offense at silly garbage like the contents of the character's backpacks and the lack of plausibility and realistic physics in a completely fictional phenomenon here? Wow, the stench of cognitive dissonance is overpowering.
Gee, but maybe if you fill your reviews up with overused smart-sounding buzzwords like "pretentious" then we'll all think it's the movies fault and not that you just have short attention spans and a severe lack of imagination, and maybe no one will notice your histories of giving free passes to other movies that have much more serious issues because they had SPLOSIONS!