Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Poop

Rating: 3/10 (26 June 2009)

I'm glad I didn't get to spend a lot to watch Ron Howard's Angels & Demons in the big screen, or else I would have to garrote myself. I'm stingy that way: A fair price for a fair quality, good enough for a principle. Nevertheless, the movie is one heck of a cuss word buffet, which reminds me again to NEVER watch book-based flicks. Apparently, there are many inconsolable twists in the film version, that for a non-reader, it would be confusing at best. The stupid impression is that everything happens in 24 hours and Howard cannot compress it into 90 minutes or so. Gazillion characters. Too much crowds. Flit there, flit here. The genius description of the branding is altered by the passable visuals. Dammit, I'm supposed to be grossed out but all I get is, "That's it?" The only part fitting is the toasting of Cardinal Guidera at Santa Maria della Vittoria. Crackling fire. Howling old man. Check. The greatest antithesis though is the Hassassin. He's not that scary enough. And setting me to swallow myself whole is the mad lack of madness of the mad camerlengo played by Ewan McGregor.