Good cast drowns in ridiculous plot

Rating: 2/10 (28 October 2016)

If humanity makes it to the 2030s, this film a sure to be on the 2030s equivalent of Mystery Science Theater. I've got no problem with a good cast that faithfully labors to make this film watchable, but as others have noticed, the overall plot is patently absurd. Hero Tom Hanks chases the Illuminati, who appear to be the last true disciples of Rube Goldberg (youngsters, google it), who leave a ridiculously complicated trail of clues that have to be solved for their ultimate plan to work but who also do everything they can to prevent these clues from being solved (which is all part of the plan, but never mind). I have never put a spoiler in a review before, but this movie richly deserves at least one. There is a bomb that is supposedly as destructive as a five kiloton atomic bomb, but at the last minute it is carried out of range of doing any damage to anything. Uh, guys, judging from Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a ONE kiloton bomb 1000 meters above the Vatican (which is as far as any helicopter could have ascended in just over two minutes) would have destroyed every building within a half mile radius and basically vaporized everyone in Saint Peter's Square. A FIVE kiloton bomb would have knocked down every building in Rome, with additional vaporisation. Yet when the bomb goes off, not one of the supposedly brilliant scholars present knows enough to ask "Hey, why aren't we all dead?" Tom Hanks should at least have turned to his female companion and say "Wow, you really f***ed up that prediction!" I'm sorry, but this is unconscionable. It actually makes me angry. It teaches the audience that atomic bombs are really not all that bad after all, in an era when people need to understand just how powerful these weapons actually are: and remember, hydrogen bombs are measured in megatons, and a megaton is 1000 times as powerful as a kiloton. Shame on the people who included this scene in their movie!