High-flown malarkey...tasteless in its self-seriousness

Rating: 1/10 (3 April 2010)

Adaptation of Dan Brown's bestseller, a follow-up to 2006's "The Da Vinci Code", has so much plot exposition, location trotting, CGI effects and elaborate camera set-ups in the first thirty minutes, one is apt to be blown away or perhaps toppled over by the breathless racing about. Tom Hanks returns as Robert Langdon, author and professor of religious symbols and societies, who is called upon by the Commander of the Vatican in Rome after a precious vial of anti-matter is violently stolen from a top secret lab in Geneva (which we see) and four Cardinals--candidates for the late Pope's empty chair--are kidnapped (which we don't see). Seems an underground sect named the Illuminati is behind the dirty deeds, and they plan on killing one Cardinal every hour until the stroke of twelve when the contents of the vial will destroy Rome. Extremely slick, extremely familiar jigsaw puzzle movie with absolutely no mystery--just Tom Hanks rattling off information before rushing from Point A to Point B. The killings smack of "Se7vn", while the ensuing relationship between Hanks and brilliant scientist Ayelet Zurer is delineated for us in cartoonish terms. Ron Howard also returns as director, and one can almost sense his desire to flood the narrative with jargon (and the screen with slapdash movement) so that the gaps of credibility and logic won't show through. "Angels & Demons" has a highbrow air about it which causes some viewers to think they're seeing something powerful and important, but don't be fooled. It is an expensive picture, burnished and foreboding, however it's about as intrinsically satisfying as junk food--and just as bad for you. NO STARS from ****