As interesting as slapping chalk erasers together....

Rating: Null/10 (20 April 2000)

"If you can't say something good about a movie..." or so the paraphrase goes. I suppose the most glaring thing I can cite about the film is- I DIDN'T PICK UP ANY TIPS!!! What's up with that? "Modern American Male looking for Love, Lust and just OODLES of blood, desires that special someone who can die C-R-E-A-T-I-V-E-L-Y. Should carry own HMO plan." Now- how many times have you seen THAT personal ad? Patrick Bateman (acted by Christian Bale- the child star of possibly the best Spielberg film, 1987's "Empire of the Sun") as portrayed here is less than two-dimensional. And maybe that's the rub and I just don't get it??? Yowza! There is lots o' talent in this here flic. Bale tosses his native UK-eseic accent wonderfully- but the fascination just DOESN'T CARRY THE FILM!!! No- I didn't read the novel (simple fact: not interested), but due to a true devotee of that raucous best-seller having dropped lots of "visuals" about it over a span of time I think I had a feel for it. The director is relatively new, and though she makes a professional-looking production, she don't have the suspense thing down. She could take some lessons from mother Hitchcock, such as "WATCH MY PSYCHO!" The film tells you the guy is sick. It shows you why. It ends inconclusively- even hinting that maybe the carnage didn't occur at all. Huh-wha....? Roll credits. Certainly as inventive as the conclusion of "Fight Club", I'd say. I was expecting Jackson Pollack and all we get is a spilled cans of Campbell's Tomato Soup. Wassup wid dat? And the really clever part- Bateman constantly reviewing audibly, in front of the potential [more like "upcoming"] victims, the on-going careers and discographies of such fledgling '80's rock artists like Huey Lewis and Whitney H., that just got me sooooo involved with the almost chronically-deep characterizations. Maybe we or I have become so inured by carnage in the past 20 years or so of American film that I am now starving for a bit of STORY to go with it! Want to get involved in good suspense, wit, and plot? Read the new Spenser novel.