Eh, whatever, let me go get some pizza. Did you do the laundry?

Rating: 1/10 (2 November 2008)

If there is a single movie that suffuses as the poster-child for the countless "What was the point of that?" movies, it's American Psycho. It's not necessary bad, it's just boring and pointless. It's the kind of movie that will leave the average person thinking about their laundry when the credits roll rather than the movie itself. In other blunter words, the movie is wholesale forgettable from opening to closing. If you know anything about real-life serial killers, or have seen any other cliché serial killer movie, you've seen this. Hundreds of times.
It opens up just like every other first-person narrative movie, and some lines even made me wonder if they were copied directly from Fight Club. Regardless of when the two original novels were written, I think this just proves the insane unoriginality of both.
Speaking of unoriginality, American Psycho is nothing but one long, bloated serial killer cliché with nothing to differentiate it from the countless others just like it. The main character is a mix of Hannibal Lector and your average no-name B-movie serial killer. He does exactly what every other serial killer ever does: kill, have sex, and kill having sex. He's a dull cliché with legs. (And a butt, if you want me to mention the constant immature use of rear nudity that has no point but to make the 13-year-old girls horny.) There is no real plot, just, as I said, kill and have sex, and that's the "brilliant, masterful" plotting that everyone is speaking of. Kill, sex, kill, sexI think we know what sells in America. That's why American Psycho is just so safe. It's a safe idea that has been used hundreds of timeskill, sexand was destine to get great reviews because it plays so safe. I think we've learned by now that safe movies get the critic's good scores, and safe movies sell. Am I really the only one who gets it? American Psycho is a movie for safe pansies who's idea of a "brilliant, masterful" plot is: kill, sex, kill.
But with all the killing, I was left wondering: where is all this gore everyone is speaking of? How is this gory? Every single kill is off-screen. I've seen low-budget 60's horror movies that show more gore on screen. There isn't a single moment of brutality. There is less blood on screen than your average TV show. Did I mention this movie plays it all 100% safe? If everything I just mentioned wasn't bad enough, let me move on to the boring factor. The entire run time is a long, drawn-out talking scene. It goes from one conversation scene to another, with less action than your average drama. Maybe that's because, no matter what you want to believe, American Psycho is a drama. It isn't a horror moviejust the idea of typing that makes me laughand it isn't an action movie. It's just a cliché, dull drama.
The only good I can manage to scrounger up: - Bale knows how to act. - The chainsaw scene was interesting.
Now, back to the bad for my conclusion. American Psycho is a safe, boring, cliché drama and nothing more. It has some humor, but it's all humor you've heard before. There is no intellectual meaning, unlike what some seem to think, and it isn't entertaining. It's so forgettable the exact thing I thought when the credits came on screen was: "I need to order some pizza . . ." and didn't even remember I watched it until I sat down to write this review the next morning. There are countless movies out there exactly like this, and I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person alive who even gets that there actually ARE interesting, entertaining, original movies out there to watch. Why did I waste my time on American Psycho?
0/10