Big budget equivalent of Blair Witch Project

Rating: 2/10 (3 March 2013)

I never liked Brett Easton Ellis' book and I didn't intend to go and see the film. This may seem odd for a lizard with an interest in serial murderers but I am very choosy about the killers I choose to study and the way they are presented, whether they are fictional or not. For instance I have totally lost interest in Thomas Harris and Hannibal Lector. Harris was a wonderful author and Manhunter was a wonderful film. Harris continued to be a brilliant author with "Silence of the Lambs" but this was ruined forever, as far as I am concerned, by Anthony Hopkins hammy interpretation. I suppose Jonathan Demme has to take a lot of the blame even though I admire some of his other films. But Lambs killed Lector for me and I can't be arsed to read "Hannibal" even though I bought it almost on the day of publication. I think only Michael Mann directing and Brian Cox as Lector could restore my faith in this franchise.
The selective clips of American Psycho shown on TV and the interest of my family and friends in serial killers persuaded me to go to the multiplex. You should know right away that the film is very true to the book i.e. it is nihilistic, narcissistic and several other things beginning with n. All right-minded people and reptilians will hate it. I can confirm this because I saw it with Warrior Mouse, Princess Lizardess and a famous musician and film-score composer (no, really) who shall remain nameless. (But lets just call him Monarch of the Glen for now shall we?) To a man, woman, mouse and lizard we all thought it to be utterly tedious, boring and a complete waste of celluloid. In summary there is one joke, repeated several times, which is mildly amusing and at the expense of Phil Collins and other godawful 80s singers, an admittedly excellent performance by Christian Bale, given the pointlessness of the whole exercise, and long minutes of tedium.
It was nagging away at me for some time what this film reminded me of. Then it came to me. It was obvious. American Psycho is the big budget version of The Blair Witch Project. Think about it. Both films are full of characters that are so hateful you wish they would get chopped to pieces by the psycho killer after spending five minutes with them. After 90 minutes in their presence you are prepared to wield the chainsaw yourself in order to end the torture of watching them. Both films have been hyped by their publicists and failed literary critics (i.e. film critics) as being masterpieces even though my cats have a better understanding of what makes a good film. Both films last for around 95 minutes and both films feel as though they last for 95 hours whilst you live through them. Both films feature characters who are afraid of things that normal citizens don't give a second thought to; in the case of Blair Witch, a fear of twigs, in the case of American Psycho, a fear of naff business cards or failure to get bookings at snotty restaurants that only women who want to become stick insects so they can star in more crap Hollywood products would want to eat in anyway. None of the characters in either film can tell the difference between fantasy and reality; no audience member of either film cares.