Wait for the video.

Rating: 1/10 (15 July 1999)

If for some reason you just really, really, _really_ want to see this movie in theaters, then by all means do so. But, if you aren't sure if you can believe the hype on this movie, wait until its on video. In fact, wait until it's off the new release wall so you're only sinking two bucks into seeing it. Better yet, walk right on by the "A"s, and head straight for the "P"s, pick up Porky's, and go home. It will be the same premise, only executed far, far better. And since I'm turning this into a rant... Please, please, _please_ stop comparing this movie to "Something About Mary". (I'm a little leery of comparing it to "Porky's".) "Something..." was a well written, intelligent comedy that, while generously laden with "toilet jokes", did not use such humor as the foundation, purpose, and selling point for the movie. Take away the hair scene and you still have a love story. Take away the pie, and what do you have? Not much. Not much at all. Now that I'm done writing this, I've decided that, much like "Wing Commander", I just can't recommend that anyone see this movie. I can't have that on my conscience. ...
Nah, I'm being too nice. This movie sucked. It sucked hard.