Pathetic

Rating: 1/10 (2 March 2002)

As if teens who choose abstinence don't need to be ostracized any further, there's this lovely sack of crap to alienate them even further. I had the privilege of seeing the unrated version. I didn't find the movie's content in and of itself offensive, it's just that it has a terrible message ("you must lose your virginity as soon as possible, even if you're a teenager") and isn't even that funny. Guy has violent diarrhea after so-called "friend" slips him some laxative. Guy drinks beer with semen in it. Guy prematurely ejaculates when he's about to have sex with his dream girl. People use various objects for sexual gratification. Oh, stop, or I'll just DIE laughing!
God help the people who produced this assualt upon the reputation of the art of film, because He obviously did not bless those poor souls with good judgment. No wonder Hollywood is thought of as a great cesspool of horror and depravity--because it IS a great cesspool of horror and depravity!
I can't wait to see American Pie 3: They All Get Genital Warts. (How hard will it be for them to get laid when their nether regions look like relief maps of the Andes?)