One of the Greatest Films Ever Made

Rating: 10/10 (13 July 2016)

I'm not just blind. I agree with the masses that the paper bag thing was full of crap. But that is the film's one and only flaw.
The performances instantly stand out, on both Spacey and Benning's part. Kevin Spacey, in particular, gives what is truly one of the greatest performances in film history, suiting for the single most dramatic mid-life crisis in fiction or real life, ever. It killed him. Mid-life crises don't usually do that.
The writing is also monumental. You could give one great quote from this movie a day and go on for months without ever re-using one. From the classic "Smile, you're at Mr. Smiley's!" to "Pass the asparagus," to "Well at least I'm not ugly," this may be the most quotable movie ever. And I didn't even scratch the surface.
The directing is also fabulous, with the viewer constantly wondering "where did they get all those rose petals?" In fact, the directing is so good that it makes the three young 20-year-olds look like teenagers. From Spacey's outburst about the asparagus, to the five million rose petal scenes, to the introductory and closing sequences and narration, the directing is flawless.
But there are a few things I still have to call BS on.
1. Remember how I said the director made the three adults look like teens? I was lying. It only worked for two of them. The boy is clearly a twenty-three year old. 2. Does Sam Mendes seriously expect me to believe that the beam in the window was in the exact right place to make the father think they were getting a blow job? And the dad never thought to move to the right or left at all? Or notice the perspective was off? And why did Spacey flex there? He's got no one to impress. 3. You don't show your girlfriend your dad's Nazi plate. Not even if you're this guy. 4. Again, the paper bag thing was too pretentious. 5. The five million rose petal scenes. I get that's the theme, just... ease up. 6. Neither Spacey nor the teenager is any good at flirting. Maybe that's on purpose, but... wow. 7. Lester is okay with statutory rape, but not if the kid is a virgin? Seriously?
Anyway, that may seem like a lot of criticism, but the rest of the movie is so utterly flawless, it only takes away one measley star.
In the Top Fifty.