Hudson's Big Adventure

Rating: 10/10 (29 November 2017)

It's a movie about Private First Class William L. Hudson, a combat technician in the United States Colonial Marine Corps, part of 2nd Battalion Bravo Team, leader of 1st squad. He's 4 weeks away from retiring. This is just one last mission and he feels good. He gets on well with his platoon, he even gets on well with the android.
He's briefed; it's just a rescue mission, it's a milk run, a bug hunt. No big deal, even if they have a new Lieutenant on this drop. It won't matter, there's no chance of a firefight. The planet is in the middle of nowhere, a rock being reformed.
But hey! Cute consultant, let's lay on the oil' Hudson charm, this last mission won't be such a bust (plus all those juicy colonist daughters).
Well, we found colonists all hiding under the main cooling towers, let's go check it out and movement its closing multiple signals cant lock in they're coming out of the gold armed walls lets book sarge is gone lets get the fork outta here! Hey Zeus, we just got our assets kicked! Over half the platoon is dead! The consultant says we should take off and nuke the site, forking A! I've got 4 weeks left, I'm not dying on this rock! 10 years to get this lousy pension, and only 4 weeks left, man! Oh sheet! They crashed the ship! That's just great. Now what the fork are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty sheet now, man. Game over man, game over.
Let's back inside before more of those things turn up. They mostly come at night. Mostly.
But some good news! 4 gun turrets! Let's set these bad boys up! Man, no time to rest, they're coming in the tunnels. First 2 turrets run dry. The ship has overloaded the emergency cooling (which was ruptured by 10mm explosive-tipped case-less standard light armor piercing rounds), 4 hours before it blows, blast radius of 30km, equal to about 40Mt.
Oh man, and I was gonna buy a bar, retire, it's not fair! Hey, let's send the android to align the antenna! He's the only one qualified to remote pilot the ship, anyway. I mean, sure, I got the skills, but with those things running around? You can count me out.
Oh fork, they made it through the pressure door, and the last 2 gun turrets barely stopped them. Maybe we got them demoralized. I hope Bishop is fast with the 2nd drop-ship. This is forked up! 4 weeks, oh man.
Oh sheet! The suit just tried to kill the cute consultant and the kid, then he was going to kill us! I say we grease this rat fork son-of-a-bitch right now. He's dead. You're dog meat, pal! How'd they cut the power, man? They're animals! Movement. Signal's clean. Range 20m. 18. 17m. 15m. 13m. Man, this is a big forking signal.
Die mother Fokker's! C'Mon, come get it baby! C'Mon, you bastards! Yeah, you too! Oh, you want some of this? Fork you! Attacked from beneath! Fork you! Hicks! Hicks! Aaarrrrgh! The End.
17 weeks later, an S&R team from the 118th Battalion find Hudson's corpse. He was dragged into the sewers, cocooned, and killed by a Dustbuster.
He's now been officially killed by a Terminator and a Xenomorph.