Total Crap

Rating: 2/10 (1 January 2007)

It just doesn't get much worse than this. When I saw the previews it actually looked good. It had some awesome visuals and cool looking characters. It looked like even with the cheesy cloning Ripley story that it might turn out OK. Well, from the opening credits I knew the whole thing was going to be a giant turd and sure enough, it was.
The only good things about the movie are some great visuals and some extremely well done action sequences. That's about it really. They hired Joss Whedon to write the thing and he complains that they chopped it up and it should have been better. I'd like to tell Joss that I've read the original and it still sucks! You can't polish a turd buddy! They had around 5-6 different scripts for Alien 3, yet with this one they just take the 1st piece of crap someone writes for them. This is the guy who writes the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series! You've got to be freaking' kidding me!
So basically, they took what was a legendary series, even with the flaws of Alien 3, and turned it into a generic comic book story complete with a half alien Ripley and a retarded looking alien/human hybrid birth scene. I guess since the movie doesn't take itself seriously, neither should we. Either way, it still sucks!
What made Alien so great was the realism in which it was portrayed. You could almost imagine a future like that and even the alien wasn't beyond reason. It was a parasite with a life cycle and(once Cameron came along) operated like a ant colony. It was pure genius. Now it's just a cash cow for the douche bag producers who screwed it up beginning with Alien 3.