Halfway towards a good movie

Rating: 5/10 (2 February 2003)

I remember the trailer for this movie premiering on the internet back in '97 when such things were novel. The 3"-wide trailer seemed to promise something on part with Aliens.
Of course it did. It was a trailer.
Unfortunately, what turned out what a misguided effort. Joss Whedon, the writer, obviously was not the last word on the script, despite the credits. He knows how to write a pretty complete story, and he never fails with characterization. Ripley's the only one who has any sort of Whedon touch, and she spends much of the time near-catatonic. The idea of making her a xenomorph hybrid was brilliant, and gave her a new dimension besides alternating between petrified and vengeful. However, the logic behind her revival just sucks. I have no doubt that the trench-coated, icy scientists of 400-odd years from now could clone you from blood samples. However, that's not bringing what's in your chest back. If I eat a ham sandwich and die afterwards, they can clone me a thousand times in the year 2453, and they'll never bring back that ham sandwich. And I won't come back as some human/ham sandwich mix. As cool as that would be.
I thought the film had great atmosphere until I saw "City of Lost Children" and realized the director basically copied himself. Jeunet's happily redeemed himself with Amelie, but that doesn't help this film. The action tends towards the close-up, blurry variety, except for a couple of set pieces involving improbable bounced gunshots. I found it stupid that six or seven well-armed people couldn't face a few Aliens. Especially considering the well-lit hallways they faced them in. The Marines in "Aliens" had no idea what they were facing, and they were in the dark. No such luck here. In the ladder sequence, three armed characters just stop and stare while a crippled man fights for his life for about twenty minutes. And I just don't think it'd be that hard to shoot something two feet below you on a ladder.
I will give props to the clone and basketball scenes. I just wish that they, and uber-Ripley, could have been in a different film.
So the point of my whole review is, just make Aliens vs. Predator already. Just make it an hour-and-a-half of action. Heck, leave out people. It's what the fans have been clamoring for for more than a decade, let Ripley rest.