Crippled by Joss Whedon's inability to be talented

Rating: 5/10 (19 August 2003)

There was no need for 'Alien Resurrection', I'll say that right now. 'Alien3' for all it's execution flaws, had it's heart in the right place. The alien is dead, with Ripley killing herself to prevent is falling into the wrong hands. I thought that was it. Most people thought that was it. Enter 1997. Enter 'Alien Resurrection'.
First of all, the problem is this doesn't FEEL like an 'Alien' film. The pace is too rushed, some of the scenes too comicky. I cite the scene where General Perez removes part of his own brain as an example. The visuals are beautiful and it's obvious Jeunet is a very talented director. Unfortunately his style doesn't really suit the film. It's too bright, the colours too flashy. The aliens are obviously CGI, and it is actually disconcerting to realize that they are already looking dated. They have lost all sense of reality with their environment. 'Alien' used a suit, and for the most part it looks more real than it's brothers in 'Resurrection'.
But the main problem of 'Alien Resurrection' is the script. Joss Whedon has disowned the film, yet the film bares a great resemblance to what he wrote. We have the cliche characters, the tacky dialogue, the need for a finale monster at the end (I actually didn't mind The Newborn, even if a lot of people did. It was a realistic and unhappy blend of the alien and the human. What Whedon originally wrote, before somebody with common sense told him to make something more realistic, is so utterly laughable it defies belief) and the completely out of place "humour" It's ironic a lot of people hated the characters in 'Resurrection' seeing as their ancestors are present in 'Aliens' In fact, it's painfully obvious Whedon is a fanboy. As it is, 'Alien Resurrection' is the perfect reason why fans of 'Aliens' should not be allowed to write an 'Alien' film. Joss Whedon is, without a doubt, a complete hack. If you've ever seen 'Angel' you'll know the digs at 'Resurrection' are about as subtle as a sledge hammer.
Another problem with 'Alien Resurrection' (and hey, it's rooted in the script. How about that?) is it's complete lack of pace. There is zero tension or suspense after the aliens have broken loose. Word to the wise, Whedon, you can't have characters strolling down an empty ship one minute and expect your audience to be scared at a loud noise when you've built nothing behind it. The aliens aren't scary. They're interesting to watch, but they've really become more of a technical excersise. There is nothing in the way of the ultimate threat present in 'Alien' The aliens are really more of a nuisance. They pop in, they die. All of the other films established the terror of the aliens. If you encountered one, you would die. Not here. Now you make half witty wise cracks. Like all films caked in "the 90s" factor.
I probably shouldn't blame the faults of this film ALL on Whedon, but the childish way he's attacked the film after it's release really annoy me. That, and the fact is most of the film IS his fault. I hope you email me, Whedon. Maybe then I'll get an apology. Five out of ten.