A sad attempt at continuing a once great series

Rating: 2/10 (21 January 2002)

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** Terrible. It is basically a facsimile of the original, with only a few, mostly irritating tweaks.
What's been added:

A lot more cheesy, gratuitous "neato" action-movie shots, like a backwards sliding shot of a grenade rolling on the ground and a standard underwater chase scene. By the time you see this movie, these techniques and technology will be old news, and are out of place in an Alien movie.

Plenty of cheesy lines, none with any actual humor built in, like the "Vasquez, ever been mistaken for a man?" "No, have you?" exchange from the original. And plenty of horror movie overacting, including repeated comical bug-eyes courtesy of Dan Hedaya as Perez.

A pitifully out of place Winona Ryder, playing her usual Gen-X self (a la How to Make an American Quilt, Little Women, etc..). Are you trying to tell me that this little waif got a job on a freakin pirate ship? As a PIRATE? Her character, "Mousy McSoftheart" is a ridiculous star-power addition to the script, and Ryder fails miserably at breathing any life into it - it's as if she knows how out of place she is and doesn't even try.

What's missing:

Terror. The settings of the original two films were absolutely terrifying. The second film adds magnitude to the first film's visionary environment while maintaining that awful claustrophobic feel, and even Alien 3 is set in an unique and interesting place. Resurrection has neither the feel of "Oh my God, what's breathing down my neck - I can't get away from it!" nor "Oh my God, look at all of those... THINGS!" nor even the unique perks gained from being set in a space-prison.

Terror. Where is that indestructible Alien (capitalized) that you JUST CAN'T STOP from the first 3 movies? In this flick, as far as I can remember, every time someone fires a gun at one of the aliens (not capitalized), it goes down. And the full shot of the queen they give you is not nearly as horrifying as the partial glimpses of the Alien you get in the earlier films.

Terror. I was not afraid for the lives of any of these character-less "characters" lives. Even, dare I say it, Ripley. *** POTENTIAL SPOILER *** While Sigourney Weaver's performance (especially her physicalizations) as an alien half-breed is interesting, (although unstable and off-balance - what's with all the smiles? did becoming a half-alien make Ripley nicer?), her creepy motherly attitude leads you to distrust her. And if she is capable of reproducing aliens, shouldn't she be destroyed anyway? The only other character that I enjoyed watching was the pirate captain, and he's the first or second one to be killed off! *** END OF SPOILER *** And there is the addition of a mad scientist character who I assume is supposed to be creepy. Give me the icy menace of Bishop (from the first Alien) any time!

Basically, if you haven't seen the first two movies, SEE THEM - they are excellent. Don't waste your time on this one, or at least don't ruin the menace of the first two by starting here. If you have seen the first two and loved them, don't watch this one because it will just make you sad. The only thing you will find astonishing about this sequel is how many things are simply repeated from the first two. Here's a list so you don't have to waste your time watching the movie:
*** POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD *** The military wants an alien specimen for their own evil purposes. Something goes wrong, an alien escapes from its cage, and now it wants to kill everyone. A cargo crew that wants nothing to do with the situation is left to deal with the mess; their captain dies; Ripley has to take over. Someone gives birth to an alien through their stomach. Someone turns out to be a robot. Someone gets burned with alien acid-blood. Someone gets an alien stuck to their face. Someone sacrifices their life for their buddy. The good guys climb down a maintenance shaft and get picked off one by one as they scamble to reach the escape pod and self-destruct the ship to rid the world of the alien menace once and for all and oh my gosh they make it! But wait! One last alien makes it onto the escape craft with them. And here is the best part: Ripley saves the day by, what? Why of course! By hanging on to something in the cargo bay and sucking the alien out of the airlock! I swear to God.
Watch it only if you just can't get enough of the Alien saga.