Alien: The Panto

Rating: 2/10 (24 August 2017)

And there you were leaving the Pictures after being short-changed by Fincher's Alien 3. Well, good news...it gets much better - for the short-changer that is. I mean the Alien Resurrection manages to out bad Alien 3 in badness. How on earth does it manage such a feat you might rightly wonder: well, a plot is a definite no-show; a story? admittedly, it's a rehash of previous bits that'll pass muster (again) for those aficionados...And to make it a fait accompli certainty - get a French director, who'l, bet you franc to a centime, inject equal measures of: French philosophising, romance (well, foreplay, and dance...
(note to french directors: can u please make a decent picture sans philosophy? Yes I'm talking to you, Mr besson, Mr goddard et al - leave it at the Sorbonne).
The plot and action of the actors in scenes is beyond comic - it really is Alien in Pantoland. All that was missing from the Alien piece de resistance was a: 'Ripley, it's behind you!'Or (C'est derriere toi!) n'est-Ce pas, jean-Pierre?