A lot worse than I hoped, only a little better than I feared.

Rating: 6/10 (17 May 2017)

I'm going to nitpick a lot, since "Alien" is probably my favorite movie of all time. Bear with me.
"Prometheus" was tough for me. I still liked it despite its numerous flaws, because of its premise, resonating themes and technical prowess. After seeing the trailer for "Alien Covenant", I expected to fully hate this film. In a way, it's a fitting sequel for Prometheus - both are very flawed. What I found lacking in Prometheus, I partially got from this one, but what I didn't want Prometheus to be in the first place, this was.
What I didn't want Prometheus to be was a straight-up Alien movie where people I don't care about run away from (or fight) a celebrity monster. Sadly, that's the main attraction for this movie, and the least interesting thing about it. Aliens have become video game creatures. I couldn't care less about the old melon-head, not to mention its brutally slaughtered victims. Its amazing life cycle is also held hostage by plot convenience: things happen rapidly because you just have to cram it all in there, and most things just breeze by. All of it just feels like toothless, gratuitous fan-service. This is what many people wanted Prometheus to be, and now they got it. Doesn't feel like a good idea now, does it? Remember the monster in "Alien"? They didn't show it much. It was clumsy, mysterious and horrifying...but the sequels turned these disturbing creatures into meaningless drones that run around fast, shriek all they can and swarm you. "Aliens" was still a good action movie, but the monster itself was demystified and it became something that would eventually leave me disengaged and bothered, which happened with this movie.
Covenant has another problem: shallow characters. They were shallow in all of them, but in the first movie they felt real, and in the second they were at least entertaining caricatures. But now? I just saw this film and I can't even remember most of their names. There were too many of them, and when someone died (which was gory and good in itself), I didn't care. The dialogue was mostly just movie talk without real depth (except for Fassbender's David and Walter, more about those two in a second). Most of the character development is forced and rarely leads to anything. The actors themselves were good; McBride and Waterston have screen presence, and Carmen Ejogo had good moments, but I wanted to care. I can't get invested to people who are basically plot devices, destined to be idiots controlled by the script (which was allegedly re-written many times and it shows). I like Ridley Scott, I do, but characters have always been his weakness, especially this time.
Then again I must also question the script, and not just for the dialogue. One obvious plot twist in particular left a bitter taste in my mouth, because I hate waiting for the protagonists to catch up to speed with what I already know. It hindered the remainder of the movie, because it was only there to ensure a link to other installments of the franchise. There was no satisfying resolution. The writing seemed to suffer from "connect the dots" syndrome.
There are good things in this movie. Most of them revolve around Michael Fassbender. He plays his characters well, overcoming his material, making it more powerful than it would've been with a lesser actor. The mythology and themes, which I liked in Prometheus, are explored a little further here (although just a little) and Fassbender is at the core of it. I loved that stuff. It's not too vague, in fact it's very simple and effective. We get some "mad scientist" - elements too. The themes of the creator and the created, the grotesque body horror - they all work in favor of the film. I gave the writers crap, but I must give them some credit too, because thematically the movie kind of works and has some nice individual touches.
The middle hour is good entertainment, and I'd recommend Covenant for that alone. It's still clumsy, but that's where the heart of the movie is. After 30 minutes of almost nothing (not counting the sequence at the very beginning), and before the final 30 minutes of weightless action and tired tropes we actually get a decent movie in between. That's where Covenant reaches high. It can't get there, but it's so confident in itself that you almost believe it.
Technically, Alien: Covenant is quite good, which was expected. At times great cinematography and camera-work (at other times just bland). The art direction/designs are haunting and the creature effects are great when they're practical. When it's CGI (which is most of the time) it's still good, but it's weightless and without impact. The sets and props are great, and the sound department handled their job well too. Nice display of production and craft.
In the end, "Alien: Covenant" is full of annoyances but also has some genuinely good touches. It's a stronger film when it's not trying to be a franchise movie, and it's a frustratingly hollow mess when it's trying to be one. Yes, the characters (except for Fassbender) are used like cheap toys and the monster is just a circus attraction that has become a parody of itself. If you forgive that, there is plenty to like somewhere in the middle of it all. It's technically impressive enough and it's got that certain foreboding atmosphere. If you enjoy pompous, larger-than-life themes or if you just enjoy mindless alien stuff, you'll get what you pay for either way - to an extent. You won't love it, I didn't either, but despite that nagging disconnect I felt throughout the film, it's still at least entertaining and sometimes rises above itself. That's why I liked this one more than I probably should. As a movie, it's a mess. As entertainment, it's alright.