Its structural imperfection is only matched by its inconsistencies

Rating: 4/10 (22 May 2017)

***Warning, this review contains spoilers*** As a long time fan of the franchise who can still and always be totally engrossed by the very first Alien movie I found this one completely lacking and uncompelling. I am also honestly surprised that the script got green lighted to be made into a film.
We follow the colonization ship 'Covenant' whose crew find themselves rudely awoken from cryosleep over a solar event that cripples the ship and leaves the captain dead. It must have been the one man with all the training on board as what follows is a string of incredulous choices for the crew to abandon their original mission and destination, to instead pursue a mysterious signal and colonize a planet they know nothing about, is plagued with violent storms that can last months and, as they later learn, witnessed a mass extinction event.
None of the crew are memorable for anything but to ask dumb questions when they aren't necessary, and to stay silent when they should have dozens of questions. They wander off, get separated, don't even think of taking any protective measures like scouting, or quarantine procedures. The film completely lost me when one of the crew members, fairly early on in the movie, decides to start firing a gun wildly and blindly aboard a ship that's designed as their only means on and off the planet. Rather than astronauts, each crew member acted like a teen out of a slasher flick.
Past the plot holes, lousy character portrayal the movie was also needlessly and confusedly pretentious. Where in the original Alien one can find some very subtle social commentary, here Ridley Scott's confused philosophizing is brought in a totally ham fisted, pretentious way.
I am not sure where this story is meant to be taken, but apparently we're now following the story of David, the gratuitously genocide committing android. Okay? Even the special effects weren't that great as in the final act, with an unexplained second alien (we only see the emergence of one true xenomorph, but the crew somehow ends up fighting two) again being jettisoned out of an airlock I had no idea what was exactly going on as the special effects, combined with way too many quick shots, was just too much to properly follow.
Also, who has shower sex after most of your crew has died in the most gruesome ways imaginable? And who designs a ship where a general alarm can't be heard in all quarters? I could go on forever, but that would be putting more effort into this review than Ridley Scott seems to have put in the script.
4 stars for Michael Fassbender's dual performance and the use of H.R. Giger's artwork.