Such a nothing movie

Rating: 4/10 (23 May 2017)

Alien: Covenant is by no means horrible. The biggest problem is that film is so "bleh", but it's strange kind of "bleh". A day later, however, it's impact on me is very strange, a combination of being completely forgettable and me not being able to stop thinking about it. Isn't that an oxymoron?
I had no understanding of the pacing throughout the film. The runtime said it was 123 minutes long, yet I honestly felt as if it were far shorter, mostly because the pacing was so lost and confused. The characters are all complete morons, more so than Prometheus. People just touch random stuff on an alien planet that they nothing about and has supposedly never been discovered. Five minutes in and after discovering mysterious wheat plants, they still assume the planet is uninhabited and even make plans to permanently move there. A guy even does the cliché "I gotta take a whiz" thing where he goes off by himself to urinate only for something to happen to him. Characters are constantly tripping on their own feet, dropping or leaving behind weapons for no reason, and always believing the most suspicious people's lies. The directing is also very mediocre, almost as if a tired 80-year-old man was at the helm -- oh wait. Ridley Scott is a great director, but it's like he just didn't care. Scenes are shot okay enough, but not on the same level as a veteran director like Scott. So many scenes are missing the 'oomph' that would make them really interesting.
Sure, it has xenomorphs. Sure, it has gore (and really good gore, too). Sure, it answers questions asked by Prometheus. But, I mean, so what? What about the story? What about the character? What about the script? But, at the same time, nothing about this film is too bad. The effects, set design, and cinematography are all marvelous, and this entry really adds a lot more mystery to the franchise than Prometheus does. Everything just sorta sits right in the middle. It's nice to see the xenomorph kill some people on the big screen, but the people being killed are all unlikable cardboard-cutout morons. I'll support one more Alien prequel film, but Scott has suggested this being the first of a set of four films. Really? Just let it die, Scott!