Who ever is writing this @#$%, slink out of the room...

Rating: 3/10 (23 May 2017)

One of the dumbest and least realistic in a franchise that contains two Alien VS. Predator films and 'Predators' (gag), Covenant captures all of the flaws of Prometheus almost perfectly.
By rewriting history with a completely unnecessary prequel to a franchise with unlimited TV and film potential, Ridley Scott has poisoned his own well with some of the worst ideas in modern story telling.
In this one, Scott now tries to have us believe that the ships android David from the first movie, is responsible for genetically creating the 'alien' species?
I was torn between boredom and incredulity as I watched a crew of astronauts land on an alien planet with no hazmat or environmental gear, and get instantly infected (just like Prometheus, except in that one, they took off their own helmets.)again. There was next to no rules in this one, least not any story rules that were adhered to.
The alien gestation cycle that is legendary cannon in the other films is ruined in this one, as the Aliens now pop out from a magic mushroom and fly like the liquid (from the embarrassingly flawed Transformers: The Last Knight), now appear to grow from a spore particle in a guys ear to a chest bursting dog alien was minutes. That this is growing all over the planet, why would android David be trying to engineer a slower and less efficient strain of the alien virus?
Pretty much every action scene was ridiculous, they tried to make the Demi Moore-lite character the new Ripley, but it just didn't work to me. Every hero in Alien doesn't have to be a mousy white girl, and even sadder, the heroine from the last movie that survived was killed off screen for a stupid explanation, and the android that died last movie, was the entire movie, and a second version of himself... ummm didn't I see this exact story done better in Star Trek the Next Generation when Data and his evil android brother used to cross swords identically? This was so disappointing despite great space ship effects, nice casting and very reasonable acting, the story was just so weak, I actually wanted to just walk out, because I was more entertained by the Wonder Woman trailer that ran for three minutes.
I loathe myself for having to write this review, but this movie depressed me. I actual love this franchise, here are my rankings- Alien, Aliens, Predator 10/10 Alien 3. 9/10, Predator 2. and Alien Resurrection 8/10, Alien VS Predator 6/10, AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem and Alien: Covenant 5/10 , Prometheus 4/10, Predators 3/10
Why are these modern ones SO much worse than ones with old school SFX and guys in rubber monster suits made decades ago? Answer- Dog awful, Dog shite writing... sigh.