Thoroughly awful - I see a conspiracy to ruin the original movie.

Rating: 1/10 (6 July 2017)

If Ridley Scott actually set out to make a movie that would completely destroy all that was good about the original, the combo of Alien Covenant and Prometheus would be it. A crew of idiots and spacetards are woken en route to their new homeworld by a star shart. The spaceship they are on completely falls apart due to this event and apparently the cryogenic sleep chambers have an explosive bbq setting. The idiots detour to a new world they discover thanks to a John Denver song (odds of it being this particular world being trillions to one against) and send most of the crew down without spacesuits or breathing apparatus or common sense. The scan of the planet somehow missed the dead civilization of the engineers from Prometheus - despite being the source of the song. They then get infected (because they are all idiots) and the idiots left on the ship can't get details because their space phones don't work well. The infected crew hatch monsters and the unaffected crew literally fall down twice trying go shoot the monster and blow up the only shuttle because they don't know not to use a high explosive bazooka inside. I imagined Benny Hill music during this scene ... Then the android from Prometheus has the exact same body as the new android (but different from Alien and Aliens) except he grew a mullet. He loves poetry, classical music, and shitty hair cuts. And aliens. Crew proceeds to die by making idiotic choices. The survivors accidentally bring an alien back to the ship with them (never explained). The new Ripley (who has Harry Potters haircut and is always weeping) chases the alien around with zero suspense and kills it. Then (plot twist) the android turns out to be the baddie instead of the other one. There,I just saved you two hours of your life and some sanity. The alien in this movie was all cg and looks really bad, there's something to be said for using models/costumes. The other special effects were OK but doesn't make the movie worth watching. It takes special skill to make a movie this bad. It makes me worry for the Blade Runner reboot - I think Ridley Scott is making sure his legacy turns to poop before he dies.