Alien, this isn't...

Rating: 2/10 (8 October 2017)

I anticipated a great movie while waiting for the release of Alien: Covenant, and was totally disappointed. This is not a movie worthy of the Alien name or franchise.
I wrongly assumed that people would be careful this time around and not just try for a money grab, playing off the Alien franchises good name. Well, not really good since Alien 1 & 2 if we're honest with ourselves.
To start, it's cheap feeling. The writing is simply bad. I can tell there were points where they attempted depth, but the writers - and I'm not sure here whether it's the original story writers or the writers of the screenplay adaptation - failed miserably in drafting anything even close to a cogent work. The story is bland, tidy yet bereft of anything resembling compelling, and everything it attempts to give it just takes back. It's a mess.
The Aliens are not scary, with obvious middle-rung CGI, and the whole thing is just boring. This is a waste of time. At any price.
I fell asleep within the first 45 minutes, then walked out. To be fair to the film, I sat through this complete stupidity a second time in order to write a proper review. I hate that I did that to myself. There are literally parts where one has to concentrate to pay attention, as the mind wants to drift. I've never had that happen to me in any film, except for My Dinner with Andre. And if you know that film, you know it takes a real champ to sit through more than an hour of it without eating a bullet.
I can't pan this film enough. There are those who are so in love with the franchise and want it to be revived in the right way that they've given it 8 or 9 stars while writing a bad review. I gave it 3 stars, and I'm being generous. Mainly because the actors tried so hard with the little they had to work with.
Do you like Micheal Fassbender? Too bad, cause he's horrible in this, and it's not his fault. How about Danny McBride? Like him? Aw, that's a shame, because the stupid, lack-luster dialogue takes everything you like about him out of his character and replaces it with a 200lb bag of space dung. As a matter of fact, there a lot of very capable actors in this "film" that should be embarrassed it's now on their resume.
To sum it up: yeah, no, I didn't like it. It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And I've seen The Room.