Alien Covernant Meets Mystery Science Theater 3000

Rating: 2/10 (22 May 2017)

I bet most of you Alien fans can name the entire crew of the Nostromo without hesitation . Ripley , Dallas , Brett , Parker , Lambert , Ash , and Kane .That was easy, now how many names can you remember from Alien Covenant ? I can only remember gay David and redneck Tennessee . That was one of the main problems with this outer space stinker . The space craft Covenant is heading for the planet Origae-6b with a few thousand colonists and a couple of thousand embryos on-board, all set to repopulate that new world . Well, they hit some kind space storm and damage is done to the ship and some unlucky crew members are killed . So the damage is repaired and our merry space travelers are on their way again . But wait ! They just picked up this strange radio signal from an unknown and uncharted planet . Why not go there instead ? After all, Brand X is always much better than the proved item, right ? So after a little back & forth over who knows more, they're off to the planet of the monsters . A shuttle craft is launched and lands on the 'Forbidden Planet' . And before you know it,the crew becomes infected with little alien monsters . Kangaroo sized aliens start popping out like a pan of jiffy pop in a microwave . Unlike in the first Alien movies, they don't waste gestation time . You get infected and boom, out pops a monster ready to take on another crew member . The surviving shuttle member is rescued only to have an alien monster baby pop out of his body and kill another female crew member . This seems to happen an awful lot in this movie .Alien Covenant borrows very heavily from Alien and Aliens . If you remember in the first movie, the Nostromo is diverted to an unknown planet to check for possible survivors . Well, you know the rest . Kane gets infected by sticking his head over an open alien egg and Oram gets suckered into sticking his head over an open face grabbing egg . Ash is a double crossing android, and so is David . Expect to see very similar scenes in Alien Covenant . Many of the action scenes in Aliens are also repeated in this film . Even some of Ripley's use of the F word is repeated in a similar manor by Daniels . What I object to mostly is the way this movie is filmed . The phony CGI cartoon like action scenes between aliens and humans, human vs robot, etc are 20 times faster than they need to be . I know all action and sci-fi movies are made like this now but I still don't enjoy it ! ..... I gave this unoriginal movie a 2 rating ... Not Hot ! ..............PWH