Yawn - Anger - Repeat

Rating: 4/10 (13 May 2017)

So here we are, after the convoluted and ultimately unnecessary Prometheus, Alien Covenant arrives with the promise of a return to what made the Alien franchise so successful. Posters boasting the original zenomorph with the tag line 'Run' caught the attention of even the most cynical of us (me). So how does it hold up? Does it set straight the mess that was Prometheus? In short....not a hope!
Alien Covenant starts out fine, a small nod to Prometheus, which should have been a sufficient door closed, and we are introduced to the new crew. It feels familiar but it's forgivable, we are just happy there's no sign of the engineers! You can instantly pick out the Ripley replacement but it's the addition of Danny McBride that shows any glimmer of hope with the new cast. He genuinely does his best and would be right at home with the crew of the Nostromo. Fassbender is back as David (the best casting in Prometheus) and new synthetic Walter. The twin role relationship is predictable but he also does what he can to keep it afloat. The rest of the characters are forgettable and underdeveloped. It quickly becomes about cramming as much origin of life nonsense into the two hour snooze fest then why we should even care that these people are fighting for their lives.
Stupid decision follows stupid decision and the crew gets smaller and smaller. I find it hard to believe that scientists would land and explore an unknown planet without so much as a spacesuit! We are introduced to a relation of the zenomorph through similar host incubation and it seems like something is finally about to kick off. What follows is some disappointing CGI and more head scratching behaviour! You find yourself asking, if this is standard of thinking behind the race they are trying to save...maybe don't bother! The rate that they get over people dying is something to behold. 'My wife is dead?....fair enough'.
So it plods on, we find out what happened to David and Shaw. David turns out to be even more of a megalomanic than previously thought (yawn).The zenomorph shows up, a totally laughable birthing scene and once again some below par CGI. A mix of practical effects and CGI would have been so much more effective and would have forced the filmmakers to be more inventive with the action sequences. A final battle and a predictable twist later and we are finally able to leave the cinema to vent our frustration!
Ridley Scott has mentioned a further set of movies to bring us up to where Alien (1979) starts but I have a better idea.... Just watch Alien and forget there was ever any prequels. If the film studio are intent on making more movies in the franchise then Scott should hand the reigns over to someone else because the man hasn't a clue how to make a good film anymore! While I'm not the biggest fan of Neill Blomkamp, his ideas for an Aliens sequel sounded far more appealing than a follow up to Prometheus. Sometimes we don't need to know the origin of things, especially when that explanation takes so much away.