Stunning visuals contrast this mess of a film.

Rating: 3/10 (21 May 2017)

I will begin with what Ridely Scott got right in this film, unfortunately there isn't much(!). Ridley Scott still shows why he is the master of visuals, managing to capture stunning scenery and make the universe almost believable. He also nailed the style of this film, which mimics Alien beautifully, but to no end. Unfortunately these are the only things that he got right. Now don't get wrong, I really wanted to enjoy this movie, as a fan of the original films, but this was such a mess it made for some unpleasant viewing.
I have seen several reviews on here saying this film is 'perfection' or 'don't listen to the haters', I believe these to be the minority. Having viewed this last night, as the final credits rolled, there was a stunned silence, as if everyone was mourning the death of the Alien franchise, which directly contrasts these reviews. This film was bland, predictable and trite. Although I have to applaud the clever and manipulative marketing , in which attached the Alien name to this project, that way you would be tricked into seeing it, as let's be honest no one want's to see Prometheus 2 now do they?
The film opens with some gorgeous visuals, with Michael Fassbender discussing creation, the main theme of the film. This however felt shoehorned and forced. These themes are explored throughout the rest of the film, but in a heavy handed way.
We then move into the more traditional action sequence to get the 'plot' moving on. Cue the introduction of the dire crew of the Covenant. These characters are so tedious I can't even remember their names, bearing in mind I saw this yesterday! The film then progresses into a carbon copy of the Alien, where the crew has to investigate a distress call after which all hell breaks loose, no surprises.
Now this would be fine, if there as at least some character development or some reason for the viewer to want the characters to live. Instead you passively watch as cardboard cut-out after cupboard cut-out are brutally murdered. You begin to question every action taken by the crew, taking you straight out of the movie, and leading you to questions like 'What will I be having for dinner?' or 'When will it end?!'.
Now poor characters aside, there is some satisfying gore for those who are into that type of thing, but the SFX of the Alien are so lame it taints this. This brings me to the main problem of the film, for every good moment there is a terrible one directly after, which drowns the effect of the good moment.
The pacing in this film is all over the shop, from long boring scenes questioning creation, to bizarre overtly sexual scenes where Michael Fassbender revels in his own greatness where he kisses himself (Yes this actually happens!). On to rushed action sequences, specifically the ending, that leaves viewers bored to tears. Now, I am being harsh on Mr. Fassbender who did in fact shine in this film when compared to the rest of the actors, not to say they were terrible, they did an acceptable job with the script and direction they were given.
Everything in this movie is predictable, the main villain of the film (the Xenomorph aside) is so obvious I am surprised the crew could not see it from space. There are little to no jokes to give this film a sense of humanity, not that it should be laugh a minute. I was however surprised Danny McBride was not awful. His appointment to me was nearly as baffling as Vince Vaughn in Hacksaw Ridge, but both worked just fine.
The one good thing about this film is it makes you appreciate the original franchise much more. Hopefully the Blade Runner:2049 will be a greater effort than this. This film tries to give an explanation into how the Xenomorphs came to be, but I feel this is a question people really didn't want answers to, and the actual answer comes as a detriment to the franchise.
However, if I do have to give a recommendation I would say this, if you like mindless gore, mediocre acting and Prometheus go out and see this film. Otherwise stay at home, pop in your DVD of Alien and have a blast.