Alien: It's the Devil do you get it yet???

Rating: 1/10 (18 June 2017)

This is a profound and deep movie that dares to ask the big important questions, such as:
Why is there only one android running an entire ship of frozen colonists?
Why does he casually walk when there's an imminent threat to the crew that only he is capable of preventing? Shouldn't an android be able to run indefinitely?
Why does the vast majority of the crew land on an alien planet without so much as a fly-by or preliminary scan? Why don't they just send the android?
Why don't they wear helmets, or any protective gear whatsoever? Didn't they watch Prometheus?
Why would you walk a good fifty feet away from your partner on a strange alien planet just to have a cigarette?
Why would you ever hug somebody whose spine just ripped out of their back?
Why would you place highly-explosive fuel tanks out in the open with no protection?
Does the black goo actually have a defined purpose, or does it literally just conveniently do whatever the plot requires at that moment?
Why does this flashback feel so passive-aggressive?
Why is the evil android also gay... for himself?
Why would anyone go alone with an android they just learned is blatantly evil, obey its sinister commands, and stick their face into an alien egg? Is it faith?
Why would you interrupt the rising tension of the climax with a b- horror shower sex scene straight out of Friday the 13th?
Why do large construction machinery and airlocks feel so familiar?
Did you really not see that twist coming!?!?!?