Steaming Pile of Disappointment

Rating: 1/10 (16 August 2017)

As I watched this, I first felt there was a glimmer of hope for a revival of the franchise. As we got into the first act, I quickly realized this was just a redo. The story is formulaic, stupid, and easy to figure out. The big reveal was seen coming miles away. The actors were miscast. Any time you put a Danny McBride in a serious roll, you will likely have a failure on you hands. McBride is funny in comedies, rehashing the same character he always plays. However, McBrides roll as Tennessee made me puke in my mouth a couple of times. And Billy Crudup? Come on man!! Dudes awful.
The story line about taking this trillion dollar space ship across the Universe, with such laxed protocols was beyond stupid. The entire premise was idiotic. Even Captain Kirk just took like 3 dudes down to check on the planet the first time, not half the freaking crew.
Michael Fassbender was just terrible as the robots, and should be ashamed his significant acting talent was wasted on this pile of crap...even worse than Assassins Creed.
FX were good, scenery was great, but Ridley Scott poured a giant bucket of Alien Acid blood all over the franchise and killed it. Thanks Ridley. I will always be a fan of A1 and A2, but this was just terrible. The writers should all be banned from Hollywood. Hollywood just cant seem to make a movie that doesn't suck, anymore.