A tragedy

Rating: 2/10 (27 May 2017)

That is what Alien franchise has become. While alien xenomorph might be close to a perfect creation, Alien: Covenant is just the opposite. Since watching Prometheus the first time five years ago I've been waiting this sequel more than any other movie. It really baffles me how lazy effort Covenant is, because it doesn't really venture or expand the Alien universe like Prometheus did. It just leaves you cold and frustrated.
Spoilers ahead!
During the first 30 mins I thought I was watching some random, generic scifi movie. I didn't feel any excitement, eeriness or mystique like with previous Alien movies. The characters were the most stock, bland and moronic up to date. I honestly can't even remember their names, so I'll just introduce some of them. The crew of so called scientists include a necessary cowboy character (with a suitable hat of course), a black man (who has sex with a white woman), a clueless captain (who is a captain just because the real one dies instantly, poor man won't even survive the cryo-capsule), and of course David... I mean Walter... no, I'm sure it's David.
The story in a nutshell: The crew wakes up from a cryostasis because the ship ran into a ion storm, okay. Then they pick up a signal from a nearby planet and decide to go there instead of continuing to a planned destination that is suitable for all humans on board. The new captain takes a crap shoot and abandons 10 years worth of research and preparation just for a quick computer analysis and a song that the message carried. They land on a storm for no reason, encounter growing wheat on the ground (yes, Earth wheat) which isn't explained anywhere in the movie. They encounter Aguilar... umm, David and take all his lies and stories without questioning the countless bodies and ruins laying around them. And why do they always have to look? If a giant, slimy egg won't sound the alarm for you, then what will? The most tragic part of the story is probably Shaw's demise (the heroine from Prometheus), who ended up as David's lab rat. So sad and infuriating. It's fine by me if David wants to be a creator and a destroyer for unknown reason, but his motives are uninteresting because he's an android. And how the hell he created an egg/facehugger with no Alien queen around? Wow!
Talk about plot holes galore. I'm not even going there this time, but who ever wrote this crap should be prosecuted. This is probably the biggest insult to an audience and a fan base I can remember. As if Ridley Scott raised the finger as a token of disrespect to his earlier work and to all of us who still love the Alien universe. Please, Mr. Scott, leave the franchise to someone who still has passion and creative talent left.
Looking back Prometheus seems now like a masterpiece in comparison, even though I severely criticized it's flaws back then. Felt like my deepest fears would have come alive in the theater when I realized, that Covenant manages to surpass Prometheus in all its idiocy and illogicality. This time not even visual effects save it from disaster: CGI is poor, surroundings are bland, sets are small, atmosphere is non-existent, and even some of the musical themes are recycled from Prometheus. And what is worst, it's not even scary. The unnecessary gore and vulgarity don't equal horror.
All in all what a letdown and a good example of uninspired, talentless movie(money) making.