It wasn't Lindelof after all

Rating: 1/10 (15 May 2017)

SPOILERS!!!! What a load of absolute rubbish. Once again we are treated to stupid crew doing stupid things despite having apparently trained for 10 years. 10 years of training to be stupid, apparently. Lovingly embracing a convulsing and hemorrhaging soldier? Check. Running into a room and slipping on blood so you fire into the ceiling? Check (actually laughed out loud at that bit). Firing wildly in the ship hold containing explosive canisters so that the whole ship gets blown to bits? Check. "Flying" the interstellar SPACE ship INTO THE ATMOSPHERE because your wife is on the surface? Check. Splitting into small groups to explore weird building despite having just witnessed a lethal alien attack? Check. I could go on but why bother? The story makes little sense and lurches from one "oh that's convenient" moment to the next. And that's not to mention the utterly fatuous pseudo-philosophy. Oh look, the next in command (after James Franco's character is burnt alive - probably as a result of legal intervention on the part of his agent) is a "man of faith". Give me strength!! After enjoying the company of a face-hugger he wakes and instead of saying "WTF!!!" he asks the inexplicably psychotic David "What do you believe?" Oh lordy it's all that "belief" mumbo-jumbo again. I tell you what David should have said: "I believe in *science* you mutton headed pea brain! It was science that got you off Earth, through the voids of space and onto this rock without being vapourised into a million tiny bits! Oh and another thing, where did we come from? Turns out science has an answer for that, too! EVOLUTION!!! You onion eyed sack of wine!" But it gets worse, given that he appears not to have been involved in the script, what Alien: Covenant appears to confirm is that the offence against nature that is Prometheus was not entirely the fault of that literary toilet blocker Damon Lindelof. So this is Ridley Scott's ultimate transgression - he has managed, in whole or even in part, to exonerate Lindelof for the seemingly bottomless pit of pig's droppings that is Prometheus by going one better by finding the bottom of the pit and hacking through it to the sewer.