Very disappointing. Weird story, badly edited, obvious twists and no tension

Rating: 2/10 (19 May 2017)

Oh man am I disappointed. I'm a huge fan of Alien, Aliens and even Alien 3. I enjoyed Prometheus, but the way the story was told left me confused and unsatisfied before I'd had the chance to re-watch it a few times.
Well, in contrast to that, this film left me feeling like I'd been treated like an idiot.
I won't go into all the "why the hell did they do that?" moments as they've been covered in lots of other user reviews. Sufficed to say, if a Xenomorph is attached to the outside of your ship, the best thing to do is probably shoot up into space and not jump out on a rope with a gun to shoot it. Especially if you're a 5 foot girl who is intent on swinging about right under the jets like a lunatic. Oh and don't get me started on the decision to 'change habitable planets' on the whim of a signal that someone picked up on a helmet. For God's sake, don't you think a 2000 strong colony mission would have stricter controls than that...?
The very basic horror elements that Ridley promised we would get in this movie (remember he'd "learned" from the mistakes of Prometheus), were just not there. Tension was distinctly absent, instead the film shoved the events into our face like we were a bunch of brain dead Twilight fans - interesting when you consider that Ridley was schooling us in the promo interviews about how tension makes a horror movie. Was I watching the same film??
The fact that the infections - in whatever guise - now seem to take 15 minutes to birth of whatever creature awaits is laughable. We've seen Alien films before, were you in a hurry to end it Ridley or something?? The fact that David is the architect of the 'perfect organism' through genetic testing in a decimated city with no power, technology or laboratories is frankly insulting. Remember, his domicile wasn't exactly Pfizer...
History and common sense tell me that if I set foot on a planet and suddenly two crew members got seriously ill, I'd get the fudge out of there. Also, before I even set foot on the frickin place I'd damn well hover in orbit and would wait for any storms to clear before descending.
The plot twists are obvious, the acting and dialog are terrible from just about everyone but Danny McBride (who knew??) and the editing makes me think that somewhere there is a truck load of material that they decided to leave out. Reminds me of the disappointing mess that was Suicide Squad.
Honestly, I'm really bitter that I waited in such eager anticipation for this and feel deeply let down.
On the flipside, here's a list of the positives: 1) the Xenomorph was cool