One of the biggest disappointments of the year

Rating: 3/10 (24 May 2017)

I wanted to like this film, I really did but sadly I am not impressed with Alien Covenant. I had problems with Prometheus, but overall I enjoyed that movie in the cinema and I still do. But Alien Covenant is a whole different story for me. It might look good and be well made as you expect from Ridley Scott, but everything else is lacking what made Alien a hit back in 1979.
There are many problems with this film, such as none of the answers from Prometheus getting answered, instead all ties with that film are either quickly tied up or ignored, while it was unsatisfying I knew that it would do everything it could to distance itself from Prometheus due to the backlash from fans. One of my biggest problems with Alien Covenant for me was that it was just too fast paced, there was no build up, no tension, no atmosphere. Interesting ideas such as the Neomorph are underused, the thing is killed roughly 15 minutes after it is birthed. And then there is David somehow creating the eggs and that leading into an AVP Esq moment where about 5 minutes after the Facehugger latches onto the captain, the baby Xenomorph is born and then a short time after that it's an adult, and they mess up the Xenemorph reveal as bad as the Neomorph, where is the slow, suspenseful reveal? This movie feels like it's made for people with ADHD. The action scenes might look good but they lack any investment and just end up going through the motions as the lead characters fight against and dispose of the attacking Xenomorph like a self contained threat that is easily handled. The Neomorphs are more of a perfect organism since they are contained in small pods that enter through the body via an airborne microbe, they gestate quickly and they grow quickly, and show more intelligence than the Xenomorphs who seem like a downgrade with their gestation methods and the fact they just rush into action and end up getting killed in their own haste, one jumps right into the crane's grabber and the other falls right into the trap of getting sucked out of the airlock. This is the problem with prequels and how the original low tech creation becomes obsolete with modern ideas which become more advanced. And as for David being the one to create the Xenomorph eggs from Shaw's reproductive system, it messes us continuity big time but I do kind of like the body shock aspect of it and how unsettling it is with the rest of the scenes with David and his home.
Characters themselves are paper thin, no depth, they are all just fodder and not to mention stupid to the point it makes the characters in Prometheus look like geniuses in comparison. As soon as two of the characters got infected by the spores, I knew that one Neomorph was going to die in that ship and the other would run loose (I hoped longer than 15 minutes), I was thinking the first act and a half would be a tense movie with them surviving against the Neomorph on the planet and then the last half of the second act would be a breather with David and that would lead into the third act with the Xenomorph. Nope. And oh my goodness, the gay guy, how the hell did he get impregnated, he had the Facehugger pulled off before it could do anything. And the third act was just like the rest of the movie, a rush job mess. Such a let down, this could have been a tense movie but tension was thrown away for hyperactive action scenes with CGI aliens. It was like watching AVP all over again.
I have no idea if there is a director's cut planned because as it stands, this theatrical version is a mess, way worse than the theatrical cut of Alien 3. The deaths were gruesome, I'll give it that. Oh, and the reveal that David was pretending to be Walter was so obvious. When you don't see the fate of a villain who is a double, chances are, it's them at the end.
I don't know if Ridley Scott made this bad on purpose as a middle finger to those who hated Prometheus or if he just doesn't care or understand what made Alien a classic. Dan O'Bannon, God rest his soul, I'm sure he is rolling in his grave with this film for missing the point of his film entirely.
There were 8 people in the cinema, including me, and one actually walked out halfway through. I stayed all the way, hoping there would be more things I liked rather than disliked to no avail. The only good things were Michael Fassbender as Walter and David, he is the saving grace of the film. There is one memorable scene with David and the Neomorph. Katherine Waterston is fine as the Ripley stand in but sadly doesn't have much to do. Danny McBride shows audiences that he can play a serious part convincingly and well, I hope he gets more dramatic roles that give him more screen time to showcase he is more than just a comedic actor. There's some nice visuals and shots that capture the look of Alien, but sadly not the feel.
The weather was actually sunny when I went to see it, when I came out, it was dull and raining, sums up the experience watching the movie perfectly. It was the first time I have ever felt so miserable watching a film. This is without a doubt one of the biggest disappointments of the year. I wish fan influence did not prevent Ridley Scott from making Prometheus 2 which is clearly the movie he really wanted to make and not this.