Alien: Fassbender

Rating: 2/10 (2 October 2017)

The movie is not so much about the alien as it is about the relationship between two androids. As such it can be considered drama more than horror. What we have is 90 percent screen time for Fassbender conveniently playing both androids and as such having something like a very long monologue with himself. Everything else is just (visual) sugar.
The crew? Completely forgettable. But worry not: They all die namelessly anyway. The first one still in his stasis pod due to some random (plotwise cheap and pointless) accident right at the beginning. We even get his funeral. But since he had no lines whatsoever, why should I care? Oh, he was someones husband. I guess I have to take Scott's word for it, as the movie didn't show any relationship.
The alien? We see a new one. But not for long, as it get's killed. Then a second one, but that get's killed as well pretty soon. Then Daniel (Fassbender II) creates THE alien. But that get's killed rather quickly, too. No wait, it's on the mother-ship. Wait, didn't this happen before? Like in Alien 1? And in Alien 2? And in Alien 4? The only plausible reason for using this plot device again I can think of is irony.
If you absolutely have to follow the Hollywood Movie Cookbook to the letter, try better in hiding it.
TL;DR: If you love Fassbender (and he is a great actor) portraying two androids lacking in emotion and talking to each other for two hours, this movie is for you.