Major Disappointment

Rating: 5/10 (22 May 2017)

2017 is definitely a shitty year for Aliens fans. From the deaths of the beloved John Hurt and Bill Paxton, to this disappointment from the mind behind the original horror classic.
I remember being one of the people who wasn't as angry when Prometheus came out. It definitely had major flaws, but it was at least something new and compelling, and had some good performances from Fassbender, Theron, and Elba. Alien Covenant tries to be the love baby of Prometheus and the original Alien, and fails at being as enjoyable as either.
The only enjoyable parts I got out of the movie were Michael Fassbender's performance as both Walter and David, and some fun deaths (probably Ridley Scott's most gory film to date). The rest of the movie is so deprived of anything interesting or for the most part, scary. All the characters besides David and Daniels are boring and disposable, and even Daniels is just there to be a less badass and less charismatic Ellen Ripley. The plot holes are way more noticeable than in Prometheus (which is saying something) and characters constantly make stupid decisions. The acting and cinematography are just fine, but not enough to save the film as a whole.
I don't remember getting scared once throughout the entire film. The movie is very predictable to the point where you can always sense a jump scare before it happens, and even the aliens look stupid. Not only is the CGI much worse than you'd expect from a movie with an almost $100,000,000 budget, but they make the xenomorphs look stupid by having them out in broad daylight. And the new "neomorphs" are completely useless to the story until they have an actual excuse to introduce the xenomorphs.
Overall this movie is disappointingly mediocre. This is more of a modern day stupid horror movie than it is a unique Alien movie. Most people reading this have either already seen the movie and know what I'm talking about, or have not yet seen it are going to see it regardless of reviews. Well just don't say we didn't warn you.