A Real Shame

Rating: 1/10 (16 August 2004)

I've been an avid fan of Predator and Alien for a very long time. The comics are wonderfully written and the first two films for each creature were done with respect to those creatures. I was even fortunate enough to read the amazing screenplay for Alien vs Predator by Peter Briggs back in 1991. Unfortunately the new film by hack director Paul W. S. Anderson is not only a bad movie, but an insult to the fans of the series, the intelligence of the general movie going public, and a poor rendition that is a slap in the face to the creators of both creatures. Like Terminator 3, Batman & Robin, Catwoman, and others, the film was made with no other intention than to rob the fans of their money by throwing together a quick and poorly conceived movie. This is evident by three MAJOR things. ONE; the PG-13 rating. This was done to get more people in the seats. Plain and simple. TWO; the producers and the studio purposefully refused to hold a press release for the film to avoid bad reviews by film critics on opening weekend. This was done because of the extremely poor response by test audiences held by the studio. Not to mention they knew how bad there film was. And THIRD; the poorly written screenplay of the film. Paul W. S. Anderson's screenplay has non existent character development, terrible dialog, and the plot which has way too many holes in it. The whole movie seemed rushed. Not to mention the fact that Anderson's other written works are also extremely poor. Let's not even get into directing. The tempo of the film which is entirely too quick, not pausing even for a minute to create any kind of suspense or character, is one of many problems by a very untalented individual.
One nice thing is seeing many people outraged by this so called film. The sad thing is that many fans will see the film. They'll dish out there money to the studio reassuring them that fans will pay to see anything with there favorite characters. (I'm also a victim of this unfortunately by seeing this film). What's worse is that some people are actually defending the film. Reading the comments on this site I've found myself severely disappointed with some of the positive responses. It's a sad day when people argue about a movie they LIKE and try to explain why it's a good movie. What many people don't realize is that just because you like a film doesn't make it a good movie. I like many movies that are bad. I also don't like some films that are good. But too many people are trying to defend Alien vs. Predator because they liked it, they like the creatures, they like the action. But if you remove the creatures and replace them with new ones, I hate to tell you this, but this movie would not be as well received. Some people would have liked it anyway, but that's beside the point. This movie is simply BAD!!!!!
Plain and simple I'm very angry with this film and you should be too. It's not very intelligent. The ending is ridiculous. (SPOILER) Are we to believe that an Alien Predator hybrid is going to survive on a Predator mothership. Give me a break. (END SPOILER!) That's really weak. The plot has too many holes, the dialog is flat, and the action doesn't fit with what we've learned from previous Alien and Predator movies and books. Aliens should not survive being thrown through solid stone. At least not damaged in any way. Also, Predators do not rely solely on their guns. They are well equipped to handle any situation. Besides, what kind of trial would it be if all they had to do was shoot all the Aliens. Pretty sad if you ask me.
Now many people are going to call me an art film snob or something lame or uninspired like that. Well my response to you is get some intelligence. If you like the first Predator and the first two Alien movies, you should expect a certain level of quality from this one. Where's the big battle between these two classic characters? How come there's no evidence of any kind of sacrifice from the supposed 1904 trial? Notice how the only bodies have egyptian or ceremonial clothes in the pyramid. Who was used to be impregnated in the year 1904? Was it the ones wearing those old clothes? That makes no sense. And why would the Predators go to so much trouble to lure people to the pyramid when it would only reveal their existence to the now more technologically advanced human race? If you think the only people who know of this are the ones who died there, you're crazy.
I could go on forever, but I won't. There's so much wrong with this film that was made supposedly by a fan of both series there's simply not enough room. And what a fan he is. It was nice of him to change the look of the Predators and deviate from some of the basic characteristics of both creatures. I said it before, this film is a major insult to everyone. I feel angry, and more than anything, I feel stupider having seen it. Let your voices be heard people. Cry out in disgust and let them know the crime they've committed. For those who hate the film, way to go. For those who argue it's a good film, shame on you. Admit you like it, that's bad enough, but don't try to call an onion an apple. You make yourself look foolish in the process.