I refuse to refer to this movie as "AVP."

Rating: 3/10 (15 February 2007)

Being a longtime fan of both the "Alien" and "Predator" franchise, I'd long been awaiting this project ever since it was first hinted at in "Predator 2." But why did they have to give Paul W. S. Anderson the reins to it? A long series of comic books and computer games got the formula right so easily. It's simple. Aliens take over colonized planet. Soldiers are sent in to deal with them and inadvertently run into a clan of Predators, who are there hunting the aliens. Leave it to someone like Anderson to screw up a perfectly good concept. First off, he sets the story on Earth. Then he sets it in the present. The alien's designs are the stupid dinosaur look from "Alien Resurrection" which makes no sense and the predators look ridiculous in their pumped-up armor. The movie is also rated PG-13. I mean, you combine two R-rated franchises and get a PG-13 film? What the heck? There isn't a single chest bursting scene in the whole film. Setting the movie in an ancient underground pyramid/maze in the middle of the Artic obviously happened more because Anderson seems to dig that sort of thing then because it made any sort of sense. But if the movie had some awesome creature carnage I could have forgiven all that. The first battle between an alien and a predator is pretty cool and easily the best moment in the film. But Anderson did one thing that completely prevented me from getting any joy from the film. He messed with the mythology. You NEVER mess with the mythology. Apparently the aliens were breed by the predators for hunting reasons. Why? That doesn't make any sense in the context of the series! That's like going back and saying Batman's parents are still alive or something! All the mystery is gone! This movie could have been a fan boy's wet dream ala "Freddy vs. Jason" but by giving the project to an ignorant self-indulgent twit, it does nothing but raise the ire of geeks everywhere. Shame on you, 20th Century Fox, for letting it happen. Shame on you. Grade: D-