Urgh, how to kill not one but two franchise's at the same time...

Rating: 4/10 (4 September 2007)

AVP: Alien vs. Predator is set in the year 2004 as one of rich industrialist Charles Bishop Weyland's (Lance Henriksen) orbiting satellites picks up a heat bloom under the surface of Antartica where further satellite imaging reveals an ancient pyramid structure buried deep under the ice. Before you can say 'how did it get there' Weyland has assembled a crack team of experts, has sailed out to the location & made their way into the mysterious pyramid. Inside the pyramid it seems to come alive & starts to rearrange itself at regular intervals, meanwhile a bunch of Predators have also entered the pyramid for a bit of sport, no not Weyland & his team but the the newly released alien creatures that provide much more of a challenge...
This American, Canadian, British, German & Czech co-production was written & directed Paul W.S. Anderson I have to say I have little love for AVP: Alien vs. Predator & think it's a pretty crappy film that has potentially destroyed two strong sci-fi/horror franchises all by it's own. The stupid & predictable script is terrible on many, many levels. For a start the human character's are awful, they die far too quickly & the only one who survives has to be the single worst character from a film made during 2004. I wouldn't have minded any other character surviving but her, the very fact she survived meant I didn't like this. Then there's the main reason why I wanted to see this film, the Predators & Aliens themselves. I have to say I was very disappointed again, if the basic story wasn't bad enough the filmmakers have turned the Predators into some sort of good guy while the Aliens are considered the evil ones although the Aliens themselves only do what comes naturally & what it takes for them to survive as a species, I mean they didn't invade the Earth did they? They were put there by the Predators to hunt so in fact I'd say the Predators should have been seen as the bad guy's because they are technologically advanced, free thinking & can make a conscience decision not to randomly kill & potentially wipe out an entire planet by infesting it with Aliens. The way the Predator & that awful woman teamed up at the end to defeat the Aleins was toe curlingly embarrassingly bad & the single worst plot device in any previous Alien or Predator film. To be fair to it the film moves along at a fair pace, it's not too boring & it provides a certain amount of stupid, moronic badly written entertainment but I just thought it was a really lousy film saved only by the presence of the Aliens & Predators themselves.
Director Anderson does alright but I didn't think the film was scary or exciting, it plods along at a decent pace but it's utterly predictable & some of the bits in it are really bad & just lessen both franchises. The first fight between an Alien & predator has great effects but it looks like some sort of horrible wrestling match as the Predator swings the Alien around & slams it into walls, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. I hated the ending, I hated the lone surviving human cast member (how was she able to stand in the middle of a literally freezing Antartica at the end wearing just a sweatshirt & not even get the shivers?) & I hated that the Aliens (my personal favourite monster between an Alien & Predator) were treated as something that had to be exterminated just because they existed. The special effects are very good & I loved the opening shot which resembled a silhouette of the Queen alien from Aliens (1986) but in fact turns out to be a satellite, there are other little homages to both sets of films throughout. The gore levels are none existent, this is PG rated kiddie fodder all the way.
With a modest sounding $45,000,000 (by Hollywood blockbuster standards anyway) this is well with good production values & great special effects. Apparently shot in just two & a half months in Prague in the Czech Republic. The whole film is a little too dark for my liking & is a bit dull to watch. The acting was awful especially Sanaa Lathan the female hero who I just thought was terrible in every way.
AVP: Alien vs. Predator is alright if your after some fast moving sci-fi/horror entertainment & don't care about little things like story or character's, those who demand a bit more from their films (even lowbrow sci-fi horror junk) then I suggest you give this turkey a miss. Remember the good times & watch Aliens & the original Predator (1987) again instead. Followed by Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (2007) which judging by it's plot outline sounds even worse than this if that's at all possible.