AvP half as bad as feared

Rating: 5/10 (13 August 2004)

OK first to before I spout one word and the bashing of no talent hacks such as Paul "wish I has a clue" Anderson, a warning: *********SPOILERS*****************
Now let the tirade began . . .
The Alien franchise as well as the Predator franchise
(BTW, for the moron who said Predator wasn't a franchise, any film which inspired comic's, video-game's, Novels and countless legions of fans, constitutes as a franchise.)
is probably one of the highest regarded icons of Sci-Fi/Horror cinema. These two film icon's became a part of modern pulp culter and was often times parodied (ala Spaceballs). I'm an avid movie fan, have been since I was a young child. I own a impressive DVD/VHS collection which has taken me 15 years to get it to the point of where it is today. I own every Alien film as well as both Predator film's, and have seen them enough times to know what I know about each is respective universe. These films are one of the main reason's why its so great to love film.
Each film in its own right has as one member above has posted had a unique and original blend of flavor, thrills, story, and plot. All why staying true to the original formula that made each successor great.
True that not all of the films throughout the Alien and Predator franchise's have been the best but each deserving to be a part of the franchise. With that said
AVP DOES NOT
After seeing the film today on its opening day I was filled with a mix of dread and a mix of anguish and heartbreak as I walked out of the theater. How could anyone in their right mind make a complete joke out of an iconic staple in film history and than the answer dawned on me as fast as the question. MONEY!!!!
20th Century Fox wanted something made and targeted for a general audience at the same time playing on the fact that all the hardcore fanboys and normal fans would turn out. Even though we all know it should be rated R like all SIX other films in the series.
To 20th Century Fox I say this. May you choke on every single damn cent you rob for RAPING AND KILLING two beloved franchises in cinema history (ala George Lucas)
What starts out with a lackluster back story and ends with one of the biggest damn slaps in ANY FANS FACE EVER!
The Story: Charles Bishop Weyland, Multi - Billionaire (and thats as much as we pretty much our told about him, other then the fact that his health ain't so good) played by Lance Henrikson discovers through his satellite system's a underground pyramid 2'000 feet below the surface somewhere over in Antartica,through heat signature's so on begans the assimilation of a team to treak and discover this long lost Pyramid. The teams assembled is Heli'd off to a ice breaker class frigate and on its way to the mystery. I'm not going to get into the acting being that it was a Sci-Fi flick i didn't think the acting was going to be spectacular but compared to this I've seen better acting in Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
Anyways our humans get to the site, after a few more mins of why were going there and why Alexa Woods or LEX thinks its a BAD IDEA, anyways it doesn't take much to talk her into going. Soon after things attempt to get going and without spoiling too much of this trash, The Predators return to their Pyramid for the 100 year coming of Age ritual for three teenage Predator's which involves the awaking of a hibernating queen, Once things take off the action scene's comense one after another in garbled quick cuts and watered down action I thought i was watching WWE at one point. 87 mins isn't a lot of time to set up much of anything be it story, character development or whatever.
I understand the speeding up of the Alien lifecycle for story point or the lack OF. But to kill off not one BUT TWO Predators in such a weak fashion and as quickly as they did annoyed me. But the thing that pissed me off and turned me the most sour were the three but very IMPORTANT THINGS.
1) The second I saw "Scar" (Predator) and Lex join forces I had to put my head in my hands and sigh. To make something that inane happen and rip apart the storied lore that so many filmmakers spent to make Predator what it was was ripped apart and blow into a thousand different directions as soon as Scar and Lex ran side by side from the oncoming explosion GIVE ME A G**DAMN BREAK. This is AVP not *&^%^*ing Predator and PALS. I understand the sense of Respect and what it takes to get it amongst the Predator cultures as showed in the films and the books and I'm sure it would take more than some stupid twit icing not ONE but TWO Aliens, which I found stupid considering the fact that Two Predator's were bested so easily BY ONE ALIEN.
2) Rating this PG-13 in the first place, I knew from the get go what this was going to do. TRUE, Blood and Gore don't make the story, But if those two original elements played a reacurring role in all SIX other films than YOU DON'T TAKE IT OUT. If the damn things not broke don't TRY TO FIX IT.
3) and most important of all, Paul Anderson, a HACK of a director, who if someone competent was running 20th Century Fox, would never EVER have been ALLOWED near the script or direction or anything remotely to do with the film other than selling AvP merchandise at a theater in L.A. somewhere. With a Track record such as his:
Event Horizon: A mediocre film with poor direction
Mortalk Kombat: HAHAHAHAH I don't even need to speak on this one
Soldier: See above Post
Resident Evil: He did the same thing to AvP with this one for me, I'm a huge fan of the games Afetr i saw this one I really hated Anderson.
It makes me sick that he wrote Resident Evil: Apocalypse so I expect much of the same pointless crap.
To sum it all up, this movie could have been made with the exact same story without Alien's or Predator's and youd truly see it for what it was a poorly written, poorly conceived, poorly directed film. The only saving grace of the entire thing was it used Aliens and Predator's without them as I've said Anderson wouldve had nothing but his stupid lame STORY