Where's the Alien vs. Predator part?

Rating: 4/10 (14 April 2006)

As we all know, Alien is one of the greatest Sci-Fi/Horror films ever to make it to the big screen, if not THE greatest. Its sequel, Aliens, turns the original classic into a roller- coaster ride that has became a classic in itself. Also a masterpiece, Predator has won a special place in my heart for the ingenuity of its antagonist, the Predator. In the sequel, you see the skulls of all sorts of other alien species the Predator has hunted, one of which happens to be the Alien. You're confronted with a wonderful idea: What if a movie was made involving the Predators hunting the Aliens? What an amazing idea! There's no way you could screw it up! Naturally, Hollywood found a way to screw it up.
It begins with a group of annoying people collected from all around the world. They have all answered a call by Bishop? The android? Anyhow, Bishop has discovered a pyramid located deep underground in Antarctica, and he wants a team to drill down to it oh, crap, where have I heard this before?
Fortunately for us, the Predators have been watching the movie from space, and they'd rather go for a little swim in the Aliens' acid-blood than sit through an Armageddon remake. To spare the entire world the torture, they fire a beam from space and make a hole leading right to the pyramid. See, they're not such bad guys after all!
Ah, crap. We go back to that stupid expedition team. They're exploring the pyramid and debating what civilization built it. It's half an hour into the movie. I check the DVD box. Hmm Alien. Predator. Vs. Maybe they labeled it wrong? This is looking suspiciously like National Treasure.
Uh-oh! They have disturbed the pyramid and the Predators are going in after them!  maybe this is Predator 3? The pyramid shifts and the Alien eggs appear. Finally, a little Alien! But where are the Predators fighting them? Maybe the title should be "Alien & Predator vs. Humans", or perhaps "Movie vs. Patience?"
Well, about ¾ of the way through, what remains of the expedition team (thankfully, only three) are running away from the Predator. One gets killed, and then the remaining two manage to escape when an Alien tackles the Predator. Whooo! Alien vs. Predator! Finally, it's over. Well, that didn't last very long.
After a few scenes which don't really matter, the female lead makes friends with the Predator. Wow, didn't see that coming. She kills the Alien rather than the Predator killing it. They go on to find the nest and reenact the ending of Aliens. The Predator dies, and a group of more Predators go on to reenact the ending of Predator 2. The end!