Whoever Watches this Movie... Loses...

Rating: Null/10 (13 August 2004)

First, I will post a review without spoilers for those interested in the movie without wishing to know the details of the story (or lack thereof). I am an avid fan of both the Predator and Alien movie franchises, possibly with the exception of Alien Resurrection.
Paul W.S. Anderson, in my personal opinion, has been unsuccessful to recreate movies that have spawned from video games, namely Resident Evil and now AVP. AVP, while at first having a half way decent storyline and popular sci-fi horror characters, had a lot of potential to be a good movie. Instead, the movie is filled with numerous plot holes which remained unanswered; the more you think about the movie and the back-story, the more you realize that the concept of the movie is absolutely absurd. The basic idea associated with the reasons for the Aliens and Predators being on Earth in the first place is sound, but the back-story defies logic. As the movie progresses, the plot becomes Swiss cheese, with numerous holes in it that detract from the otherwise original concept. The special effects are not even enough to salvage the movie, and they were top of the line. Anderson relied too much on creating an action packed movie like he did with Resident Evil at the expense of the more graphic images associated with both Resident Evil, Alien, and Predator, as well as the important element of horror. Even as an avid fan of both movie series, neither character was enough save me from wanting my money back.
I advise you to not waste the money and instead invest in something remotely entertaining. The section of my review below contains SPOILERS, so DO NOT READ IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE THE MOVIE!
First off, the plot development was horrible. The fact that 3 separate cultures, the Aztecs, Cambodians, and Egyptians, all coexisting in Antarctica prior to the first pyramids in any culture being created makes no sense. Apparently, the Predators were Gods worshiped by the people with the people serving as hosts to the Aliens to spawn a hunting game for the Predators; thus, a Right of Passage for the new coming generation was its purpose. Every 100 years, a captive Alien Queen is revived (no explanation as to where the Predators obtained a queen from or even how they managed to enslave it considering that Alien drones killed 2 predators with relative ease in the early portion of the movie) with the use of some sort of energy source like plugging a cord into an electrical socket (again, no mention as to where or how such a power source could work). By reviving the queen, she would spawn eggs which would lead to the sacrificial chamber to spawn Alien drones. OK, I do not see anything major wrong at this point, but the plot quickly deteriorates. Upon entrance to the temple, the human expedition team sets the whole situation into motion when they remove 3 predator shoulder cannons from within the temple much like a booby trap. Presumably, the predators were to have gotten the cannons to hunt their prey. Here is a hole, for if the predator survived, how would shoulder cannons miraculously find their way back into the temple every 100 years? It is not like the predator could just waltz back into the temple and return the cannon as the temple would be infested with aliens.
The main character, Alexa, quickly becomes the only remaining human survivor, and she "befriends" the remaining predator after his two counterparts are slain easily by aliens. She becomes an Ellen Ripley "Rip-Off" as she is portrayed to be a badass who uses a dead alien's body parts as weapons. In the climax of the movie, she takes on the Queen with the predator and does more damage than Ripley in a mechanized suit could do.
I am sorry, but this was ridiculous; a climber of mountains and trail guide turning into a full-blown Alien Queen ass-kicker is like saying she was tougher than Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny Glover, all of the marines from the movies, the predators, and even Sigourney Weaver.
Not to say I enjoy gore, but the cutting of scenes just prior to deaths of some humans left a lot to the imagination. It became vague as one could not understand how the victim was slain due to the skipping around of the camera. More human gore, not a lot, would have helped contribute to the overall effect of the movie instead of leaving the aliens and predators to duke it out.
I am sure there is much more wrong with the flick, for you do not even need to think about it to realize how poorly put together the movie was. Anderson is a poor director who should not partake in the movie industry, even if he was just a coffee errand boy. He cannot properly assemble a good story, and even when it is done, the plot holes and flaws in the layout (as well as relying on special effects to make a movie) do not form a good end product. I seriously hope he does not consider making more movies in the future, because his past attempts have only succeeded in elevating my blood pressure and pulse, not due to an action packed thrill ride, but simply out of aggravation. A better ending would have been having Anderson sitting with a sack full of money pointing at the audience and laughing for supporting this piece of garbage.
Thank you for your time, and please take my advice to heart; do not let yourself fall victim to its empty promises. A better tagline would have been: "Whoever sees this movie... Loses..." And you know what, it would be accurate.