Not good......but what did you expect!?

Rating: 3/10 (6 March 2006)

I've put off watching Alien Vs Predator for a long time. I hold a great fondness for the first three Alien movies and regard the original Predator as one of the best Sci-fi action flicks ever made. I knew that AVP would be nothing compared to these classic films, and after the failure that was Alien Resurrection, I didn't want to be let down again.
However, one day whilst feeling particularly brave, I sat down and watched AVP, taking a deep breath at the start as if about to face an hour and a half of torture.
Sure enough, AVP was a poor film. The one dimensional characters and zero-point-five dimensional plot line proved my suspicions that this movie would fail to engage my interest.
Paul W.S Anderson fails to create any tension or excitement whatsoever. It's just a series of short, unsatisfying fight scenes, interspersed with a nonsensical script that just falls flat on every level. The human characters are without emotion or depth and even the Aliens, that were described in the first film as the "perfect organism", are reduced to nothing more than brainless, scuttling insects. Anderson also modifies the Alien life-cycle, so impregnation-incubation-chest bursting, all happens in a matter of minutes. AVP is the fast food take-away to the banquet that was Alien.
Redeeming factors are few and far between, but the occasional slow motion sequences, including leaping face-huggers and battling predators and aliens look great. The predators are armed to the teeth and more brutal than ever, and a final sequence involving the alien queen was impressive.
Alien Vs Predator was a bad movie, but what did I expect? When a film is made so unashamedly and exploitatively for profit, you have to be prepared for nonsense. I was initially worried that its tackiness would tarnish my memory of some classic cinema, but I am pleased to say however, that AVP is completely forgettable.
My advice is to not bother watching this movie. It is a complete waste of time. But if you feel you must give it a chance, don't spend any money on it and don't expect to be entertained. This way, you will get the most out of a terrible film that should never had been made.