Things this movie needed but didn't have (spoilers)

Rating: Null/10 (25 October 2004)

Contains nothing but spoilers - be warned.
1. Ripley. I know Weaver would never agree to be in this but for the love of god: If you're gonna have an Alien, you gotta have Ripley or it's just not right.
2. Space Marines. What a pathetic stand our little race made in this film. It needed to be laden with hard-core, whiskey drinking, cigar smoking, obscene joke making space marines with guns duct-taped together and those flamethrowers with pilot lights.
3. A decent plot. I mean come on. A mysterious pyramid? What were they thinking. I know everyone only went to this film to see Aliens fighting Predators and that "the plot doesn't matter" but the plot DOES matter. It doesn't have to be complex (see either Alien OR Predator) but it has to be coherent and moderately believable - this was neither.
4. That loader thing from Aliens.
5. Vasquez. Somehow.
6. Less fussin', more feudin'.
7. Respect for the quality of the films it is building upon. Alien, Aliens and Predator are some of my favourite films, it is a shame to see such an excellent opportunity for a quality cross-over (virtually an oxymoron) wasted on this empty, shoddy cash-cow of a merchandising vehicle.