Oh, the overwhelming expectations of the obsessive

Rating: 7/10 (22 March 2005)

AVP
It's amazing. You avoid a film in the cinema, avoid renting it and generally harbour no desire to see it because of an all consuming barrage of fan-boy bile that you saw on the internet; besides which you think it will deviate wildly from the source material which you have already read. Some SPOILERS MAY FOLLOW.
But then a surprising thing happens. You buy the movie on a whim and watch it with an open mind. You sit through the typical establishing stage of the story and watch the little scenes of power struggle through which who lives and dies is determined very early on. This is all, dare you say, clichéd stuff and you let it wash over in its own harmless way.
The first glimpses of the predators come and go, as do the glimpses of the Alien Eggs. So far, no harm done, after all you have watched Alien Resurrection and been desensitized to the possibility of CG overkill. You reason with yourself that, despite what an alarming array of fan boys think, this guy can make a movie... you cannot... otherwise you would not be on the internet complaining about them, furthermore, you realise that the earlier Alien and Predator movies are coated in sugar coated nostalgia; yes they are good movies, but there is no way something made in 2005 will have exactly the same feel.
The movie steps up a gear and you have your first bloodletting, this time at the expense of the humans, a trend that will continue for the whole film. The first Alien and Predator conflict comes and is a not too drawn out affair, fairly well done given the hype involved. The Predator juves are obviously struggling in this conflict though and the narrative helpfully tells you that this is because of their lack of shoulder cannons. Needless to say, anticipation is drawn from waiting for them to get them back. As with all movies of this ilk, things don't always pan out quite as you had hoped and the conflicts are over a little too quickly. You begin to think the Fan Boys were right in one of their criticisms  the running time is too short, extended version or not
The story quickly gets to the inevitable scene of Predator and Human begrudgingly teaming up (A La Hunters Planet) and critics the US over (see what I did there) throw their arms up in protest guys, despite what you think, this IS loyal to the characters and earlier source material.
Soon you have the familiar big monster scenario, with the Alien Queens size being a major inconsistency, although she is bought to the screen well. There is some clashing, a familiar demise and before you know it there is a nod to the Predator 2 ending and a 'twist' that only the slowest of viewers wouldn't have expected.
But you know what? At no point have you been outraged by what you see, in fact it was rather exciting on occasion. In a no win situation, Anderson walks away with a score draw and an acid dripping trophy albeit something more like a limp hand than an Alien skull.
J