Should have been so much better. One of the biggest letdowns of all time.

Rating: 4/10 (18 August 2004)

I admit...after seeing the trailer to Aliens vs. Predator (I refuse to call it by that marketing friendly corporate bastardization of a three letter title), I was psyched. It looked like it would really capture that atmosphere of the other films of the series. And though it wasn't the worst movie ever, it sure was one of the most disappointing.
Let me elaborate on what I mean by disappointing...I read many comments on this site that totally bashed the film, which I usually trust to give an accurate representation of how a movie really is. I already let my expectations down to a bare minimum, but still, being a huge fan of the Aliens series, and really liking the two predator movies, and loving the books based on this movie, it was almost impossible not to feel extreme letdown, even when decreasing all hopes for a good movie to the smallest level possible.
Let me start by what is actually good in this movie. The special effects are pretty good. It was really nice to see more old school puppetry and makeup effects, and less CGI (though there is quite a bit of CGI, it's for the most part, pretty good). Also, like most of Anderson's films, what he does well are setting up elaborate sets that in a decent movie (notice I said, 'decent'), it usually really adds to the mood. However, 'decent' is light years from describing this movie.
That's about it for the good parts. Yep, two things. Now onto the bad...
I know the vast majority of posts here go into elaborate raves and rants about this film...and they are mostly right. But still, I feel I need to vent some frustration and add my $0.02. First off, though the scenery is really well done, this surprisingly does not add to the mood at all. Okay, considering the title, I wasn't expecting top notch acting, but from an Aliens or Predator movie, I was expecting a lot more than what I got. The acting was for the most part pretty bad...I mean I consider most of the Aliens movies and the two Predator movies of a higher quality of sci-fi/horror...maybe they aren't the best films, but at least they deliver good performances from their actors, and you can connect with at least one or two of them. This movie doesn't develop any character more than maybe a sentence or two, so we really don't care if any or none of them live. Even Alien Resurrection, my least favorite of the series, had some characters that were either a little bit fleshed out or at least had an interesting personality that made them intriguing. It is that connection that in any horror movie is essential...and it is usually governed by a good script and of course, good actors. I mean horror is supposed to be cheesy, that's a given, but a good movie means having a good story and having good characters...otherwise what's the point? We have about 30 or so stock characters (I swear, I think they just kept recycling a few of the actors in some of the massacre scenes) that we don't give a damn about, and they literally get slaughtered by the dozen. The few that did seem interesting (the girl who played Adele, the gun toting blonde chick was by far the coolest character in the movie, but was barely on screen, as well as Colin Salmon's character...what a waste of talent) are literally thrown into the meat grinder, most of them off screen, of course. So what's the point? I mean, the movie's tiny running time of 87 or so minutes wastes about 75% of the running time just showing scenes where the idiot humans get sent as lambs to the slaughter and are just pointlessly dispatched.
Okay, I know you've heard that rant a million times before if you've read this board..so I will go onto other complaints, but just the major ones, and hopefully ones few others go into. I will admit, the first 40 minutes or so of buildup (that tastefully do not show either species) were pretty good, but it's when the slashing and gutting occur is when the movie falls apart. There just wasn't enough of the Aliens...we got to see a ton of the Predators, but oddly, weren't they primarily supposed to be hunting the Aliens, and not the humans? Here's another thing...it's Antartica in the middle of the night, and we have some actors having jolly old conversations outside in the SUB ZERO WEATHER with no protective head gear nor parka hood and not so much as a shiver...oh and also, the studio couldn't spare the extra bucks to turn the temperature down so we could see maybe their breath in the air? Oh, and don't forget, Predators have infrared eyesight...which I would have thought the cold weather would have masked their body heat, and thus, save for their flash lights (a la Predator 2), it would be impossible for them to see the humans. That drove me crazy the whole time.
The direction is pretty amateurish...I don't disdain Paul Anderson like a lot of ppl do, but I don't admire him either. I think he's a so-so director who has the passion, just not the talent. His other works reflect this...mostly movies that had awesome premises and setups and SHOULD have been awesome, but usually settle for mediocrity (Resident Evil, Event Horizon, and on the lower end, even Soldier). I think his past movies are all entertaining and have their moments, but are not 'Showstoppers' if you know what I mean.
Okay, here is my biggest complaint of the night...the first fight scene between the Predators and the first Alien is without a doubt, THE WORST action sequence I have seen from a big budget movie in my entire life. Honestly, it is so confusing and so "MTV-ed"...cut in and out of the scene, with short flashes of picture...a claw here, a spear here, teeth and slime there...need I say more? For a movie whose title represents said scene alone would classify this as a complete failure. There are many other scenes where 'cool camera tricks' that were hip maybe 10 years ago are used, and then repeated, and repeated over and over again (i.e. the ubiquitous overhead shots of the infamous 'Sacrificial Chamber Room').
Frustration cannot describe how I feel...thank goodness I had that free pass from my new Predator DVD, paying $7.00 for this crap would have been highway robbery. This is a prime example of a studio cashing in and selling out. Now, I know that Fox gutted this film from Anderson's original cut, and it really shows, and no, I'm not only just talking about the sparse use of gore, but the fact that there were too many scenes that you could tell were ghetto rigged together, to trim down to a kid friendly PG-13. I'll give Anderson the benefit of the doubt that Fox completely cut and ruined his film, but what I won't give him is that his director's cut could possibly be that much better.
I can't believe it, the industry has reached a new low...and I can't believe the movie that us fans of the series have been salivating over for over 10 years...turning front and center towards any nugget of information about some rumor heard from a friend of a friend who knows a guy who works for someone who is the former roommate of some executive at Fox, is really a pretty boring, way too formulaic, non-scary, voided of excitement, thrill lacking crap-fest. Oh and don't get me started with the whole Predator and lone woman running in slow motion as a blazing fireball pursues them. I know there was a camaraderie between humans and Predators in the books, but come on. Cheese has now been given a whole new meaning.
Overall, this movie is pretty sorry. No, it's not the worst movie ever, but it gets even lower points for being a complete letdown given the hype and buildup this movie has had going for it for the longest time. Other than a bland timewaster, it has nothing at all, redeemable about it. I never thought I'd say this, but I hope that this truly secured the nails on the coffin to two of the scariest movie monsters of all time. Sadly, corporate greed will resurrect them time and time again.
A very generous 4/10 stars, mostly out of pity.