Any Predator in the theater would have blown it up in despair

Rating: 5/10 (15 November 2004)

When I entered the theater I expected the worst: my nice little Aliens and Predator universes being dismantled by some sort of commercial sell-out. Er, ... exactly that happened. BUT to my surprise the two monster characters had even enough great aspects to save my evening from being a complete disaster. Right, the dialogues were quite ridiculous far too often. The shape-shifting of the pyramid seemed a very stupid idea to me  why the hell should the predators have invested such an amount of energy, know-how and time in a construction like this? They are supposed to be hunters, not scientists! The alliance with a human being on the other hand is a nice idea if you ask me, as long as the Predator has some good reason to respect the others' fighting capabilities, cause only this way one seems to earn his right to live in their view. So if this human can fight, why shouldn't she be respected?
Another funny idea came to me watching the Predators dressed in their thongs walking antarctic territory: ever heard a Predator sneezing?  Must be a funny sound! Don't catch a cold out there, man! Up to now it was said they prefer REALLY hot summers... But I have to conclude: this movie is really a damn sell-out. Nearly all the elements of tension and atmosphere that made the earlier movies the legends they are today are missing: the facehuggers almost haven't fallen off their hosts' faces when the babies burst out  no incubation at all, compare this to 'Alien 1'! The predators don't behold anymore  they prefer making a mess wherever they pass by. The Aliens' blood that was capable of burning holes in a number of decks (!) on the 'Nostromo' has turned now into some kind of skincare, as our hero is marked by her companion from outer space: she takes no damage, does not even squeak. Things like these disintegrate the great pictures of the two species drawn by others in their superb movies before. And therefore I really dislike this crap!!! The cuts of the battle scenes are often indeed far too quick to recognize anything  you could as well have saved the money for a better script and shown a black screen with some 'uh', 'ouch', 'kaboom' and 'inkelklink'. On the other hand the camera has caught some wonderful scenes: the icebreaker in full moon night, the flare sliding down the unknown tunnel, very atmospheric I can say! So the scenery has been chosen fine (if the predators had had some thermos pants), the historical story is a nice idea I might say, apart from this awfully plump melting of three ancient cultures and their languages even in single inscriptions without the slightest difficulty to read for someone who only knows some parts of the younger civilizations. Again, scenes like these flatten the whole plot (to lowest Hollywood level). If there ever will be a sequel the fans may really expect a reparation for this one!