Horrible, horrible dreck

Rating: 1/10 (14 August 2004)

Paul Anderson, what are you thinking? This director capably handled the excellent, niche-market sci-fi horror movie _Event Horizon_. He's apparently forgotten everything he learned making that film.
_Alien vs. Predator_ is the coolest stuff out of both series' movies combined into one short film and ruined. You've got Bishop and the facehuggers from the second and third _Aliens_, the weapons and nuke from _Predator_, and the following from the _AVP_ computer game and comic series.
However, it's ruined.
The acting is poor, the events are cliché, the development is non-existent, the startling moments are cheap, the movie connections are ruined.
For example, face huggers now implant a chest-burster in mere minutes, and less than an hour later you're up and about for a whole thirty seconds before the chest burster comes out. I seem to recall Kane lying in a coma for a couple of days, before waking up and being ravenously hungry, all before his little present was exposed.
Also, aren't the Predators somewhat capable fighters? The aliens may be quick, but in no circumstance should they be able to rip up on the Predators like they do in this film. The Predators seem to be no better at fighting aliens than the ice-climate expert who seemingly becomes a Predator's apprentice.
That brings up another point--Predator/human bonding? Ha! It seems like Anderson thinks anyone, even if they're a different life form, can get along, so long as they demonstrate some form of good will (enacted with the prisoner/guard's guns analogy).
This movie is a farce of and a disgrace to some of the best sci-fi movies ever made. Put simply, you should watch the first three _Alien_ and the two _Predator_ movies, play the video game, and call it a day. You'll get a better experience than this tripe direct by Anderson, who apparently didn't follow those necessary steps.
0 stars out of 5