Puts "Citizen Kane" to shame

Rating: 10/10 (26 August 2007)

This is the greatest movie ever made. The entire rest of your life will be dull and grey as you plod glassy-eyed through it, lumbering to an inevitable grave without ever experiencing even a fraction of the sheer joy and vitality you experienced upon viewing "AvP." After watching "AvP," you will never enjoy another movie for the rest of your life. In fact, you will likely never again have any desire to watch a movie, realizing that all movies besides "AvP" are histrionic, amateurish waste.
In order to prevent the mass suicide of the hundreds of millions of viewers of "AvP," the filmmakers left open the possibility of a sequel. It was well known that immediately after viewing "AvP," a movie watcher was certain to commit suicide as the soul-crushing reality of his droll and inane existence was starkly lain bare by this awesome film. The only thing that could sustain his will to live was the thought of another film with an equal magnitude of earth-shattering greatness. Hence the predator coming out of the alien's chest in the last scene.
This ineffable work will send your world into a tailspin, as you realize the barren meaninglessness of everything besides "AvP." Again, simply the greatest movie ever made.