Joel and the Bots would have loved this film.

Rating: 1/10 (17 August 2004)

Saw this opening night. Loved the original Alien movies, liked the idea of the Predators. Knew we were in trouble when the main female character is introduced answering a cell phone while hanging on Mt. Everest...and no steam comes from her mouth. She's on the side of an ice wall on the highest mountain on earth...and her breath doesn't show up. It was downhill from there. Literally. Set in a buried ancient temple in Antarctica, the filmmakers didn't bother to make the sound stage the thing was filmed on cold enough to see the actors' breath. Doesn't matter how much snow you have, how big your parka is...it's clear that it's NOT really cold. Loses whatever "realism" the film has.
It gets worse. I won't spoil it for you, suffice to say the main female character is a LAME EXCUSE for a Ripley ripoff. Her partnership with the remaining Predator (when he fashions a weapon and shield from an Alien skull for her, you will think..."how the hell did she know where to put her hands") smacks of Beauty and the Beast (I swear that the first time she walks by him, the camera catches him saying "Damn, baby!") and all I could think of at the end was "Tale as old as time..."
Add the fact that the only likable character is killed off too quickly, that the "heroine" ends up alone, wearing only a t-shirt and jeans IN Antarctica, the lame camera-work, the bad use of two of sci-fi's best villains, a pathetic "chariots of the gods" basis for pyramids,...
I started quoting from MST3K's treatment of EEGAH halfway through the film. As the heroine and friend walk down a hallway, all I could think of was "Watch out for snakes!"
As the predator would say, "Damn, baby!"