About as logical as Microsoft Works

Rating: 1/10 (22 July 2005)

AVP is the worst movie I've ever seen. I can't believe it was a mainstream, big-advertisement movie. It was completely horrendous in nearly every aspect: the acting was about the lowest class you can find, the plot was pathetic beyond imagination, and the whole of the movie was riddled with obvious flaws and irrational antics. Here is a list of some of the flaws and antics.

The most simple and irritating of the flaws was when they're in Antarctica and they're walking around in a light winter coat and an exposed face. Yeah, pretty sure you'd die in like half an hour.

In the pyramid there's alien writing all over the walls and the guys go up and read it. It's an alien language!!!!

The Predator goes into the pyramid and he's about to kill the old guy, but then he see's the old guy has a disease or something so he decides not to kill him. That's fine and can be justified. But then as the Predator leaves the old guy, the old guy says "Don't turn your back on me!" And then he tries to torch the Predator with a lighter and some spray. COME ON!!! That's got to be the stupidest movie moment of all time! Picture this: You see a huge, hulking alien come up and is just about to kill you, but then he decides not to. So you tough talk the alien and try to burn him to a crisp? NO ONE WOULD EVER DO THAT!!!

When the Predator makes the girl that shield and spear, I thought to myself, 'Cool, she's gonna go around and impale some aliens and stuff'. But guess what? She never uses the spear! Stupidest thing ever.

There are probably some more big, stupid flaws throughout the movie, but I'm going to leave it at that. Even without the flaws, this movie sucked. The plot was just a rambling series of idiotic, gory, slimy action sequences. And the fight scenes weren't even cool! The only cool part was when the Alien impales the Predator's head with his extra mouth. That's about it. A dumb thing that I didn't get about that part was that the one Alien killed two Predators. I thought the Predators were way more powerful than aliens, because in that flashback on the pyramid there are three Predators fighting waves of Aliens. I don't know.
The climax of the movie was just a cry for help. I had no idea what was happening. They were all fighting Aliens and stuff, and before I knew it, they were running away and the pyramid blew up for some reason. It was extremely abrupt. And that's pretty much the whole movie in its sucky entirety.