Not a whole lot of VS.

Rating: Null/10 (24 August 2004)

***SPOILERS***
Like most of my fellow geeks out there, I have been waiting for this
movie for a long time. Ever since that scene in Predator 2 when
you got a glimpse of the alien skull on the Predator ship. We've
waited, indulging our need to see these two species clash through
comic books and video games. But that illusive feature film still
haunted us. We waited and waited... Until now.
So here we are, 14 years later, and the film has arrived. And I have
to say, it wasn't worth the wait. The film itself was disappointing on
many levels. The script was weak. The characters over-explain
everything, treating the audience as if we were complete idiots. It
was insulting. "It's a pyramid!" Gee, you think?
And here's a tip. If you are going to over-explain everything, don't
use the same character to use explain it. This movie had a whole
room full of so-called experts, but it was the mountain climber that
seemed to know everything. The only thing she didn't know was
how to translate ancient hieroglyphs from three civilizations across
three continents. Fortunately, they happened to find an
archaeologist who happened to specialize in not just one, but
three dead languages. Lucky break!
Also, I have to say that I am tired of the same old story of alien
species (in this case, the Predators) coming to ancient Earth and
having the primitives worship them as gods. It's been done a
thousand times before, let's think of something new.
I am also a bit tired of having some alien temple or spaceship or
something buried under the ice in Antarctica. It's the Thing all over
again. Again, let's think of something new.
And since when did the aliens only take five minutes to gestate in
a human host? It seems to me that in past movies it took a heck
of a lot longer. In fact, it took the whole movie in Alien 3.

I questioned a lot of the choices used in this movie. The pyramid
under the ice, the Predators and ancient Earth, the casting of
Lance Henriksen as roughly the same character he was at the end
of Alien 3. (Again, let's think of something new) But the thing that
really annoyed me was the lack of Versus. This is Alien VS.
Predator, but they really don't fight that much. The first two
Predators get their butts kicked right off the bat. They spend half
the movie running after their little ray guns. Seems to me that a
Predator would do just fine without it, and would probably find
more honor in killing an Alien with a spear or just his bare hands.

Also, how many times do you have to put a Predator face to face
with an Alien? It's a face-off, we get it!
Anyway, all in all, the film was a disappointment. I don't expect a
whole lot from a Predator movie, but I do from an Alien movie. I
like a much more creative storyline, with interesting characters and
a lot of scares. There were none in this film. I am tired of people
making movies that, just because it's got a winning formula, they
don't make an effort to make a good flick, because it's gonna sell
tickets anyway. Take some pride!