and you were expecting a masterpiece?

Rating: 5/10 (13 August 2004)

Ah! So stupid, yet so sweeeet. Alien vs. Predator is ever-so-slightly better than I expected, though I wasn't expecting much. I enjoyed the film's pseudo-Aztec sets and cool creature action, though as I expected, the thinly drawn human characters pale beside the awesome monsters.
Much-reviled director Paul W.S. Anderson acquits himself pretty well here. He wisely shies away from CGI, relying instead on robotics and other mechanical special effects. (Apparently, 70% of the SFX are physical-cool!) He also paces the film pretty well, using the first hour to build up audience anticipation of the final rumble. I'm glad that this unfolds like a proper horror movie and doesn't start with all-out action. The fights, when we finally get them, are pretty exciting, although Anderson employs too much fast cutting and murky photography-the twin plagues of the modern action film.
What really lets the side down is the aforementioned human cast, which pretty much stinks to a man (and woman). Henriksen's magnetic, gravelly voiced presence adds weight and class to an otherwise unknown and talentless group of actors. I've heard positive comparisons between Sanaa Lathan's heroine Alexa Woods and Sigourney Weaver's classic character of Ellen Ripley, but since Ripley is both tougher and better acted, I can't say that I agree. Lathan is merely competent-nothing more-and she only looks good because she's playing against a cast of silly ethnic stereotypes.
I have mixed feelings about the setting, which is quite atmospheric but also very familiar and conservative. I'm tired of watching Aliens stalk people through claustrophobic corridors; when are they going to cut loose in a city or jungle? That said, the arctic scenes are great, and I loved the abandoned town. I wish it featured more heavily in the action.
I note that most Internet reviewers are already gunning for this movie in a big way. Not really a shocker; science fiction fanboys are notoriously hard to please. I, for one, anticipated a total bomb, and was pleased to discover a two-and-a-half star guilty pleasure. Frankly, I always thought the whole concept of cramming Aliens and Predators into one movie was stupid. The Aliens belong to the world of Gothic horror, whereas the Predators were spawned in the action-adventure world of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Alien films are legitimate movie classics (minus number four), and the Predator films are silly (though enjoyable) action movies. It's a weird mix, and a sign that both franchises are desperately ailing (actually, Predator never was a franchise!). I certainly didn't anticipate that any movie based on such a gimmicky clash of 'titans' would be better than this; by all rights, it should've been worse.
* SPOILERS BELOW *
One final, quick note-isn't it just beautiful when one Alien houses two Predators? Naturally, I was rooting for the Aliens all along; they're like lions or tigers, while the Predators are the British guys with big hunting rifles. Who's got more natural skills? The Aliens. Without their technology to hide behind, the Predators have got nothing'. Heh heh heh. That's the secret reason why I liked the movie, folks...Aliens kick butt!