Horrendous

Rating: Null/10 (19 September 2004)

Well this just did it - as long as I live, I don't want to see another movie directed by mr Paul Anderson. I'm sure that off work he's cool. He likes horror, action and games so he can't be all bad. There's no denying he'd make a heck of a producer - none of the old farts in Hollywood would have never in a million years come up with the idea to make movies like "Resident evil" or "Alien versus Predator", even when they've been hanging in front of everyone's faces from day one! Paul also seems to have an idea or two when it comes to writing scripts, but unfortunately, that's it. Dear God keep this man 50, no make that a hundred, yards from a movie camera! I so much wanted to like AvP, but what can you do? Except admit the sad fact that Anderson fumbled the ball again. There's no excuse for the crap that's tarnishing the celluloid. A few amusing minutes on a movie don't make up for the rest 86 minutes of sheer pain. The fact that the original version was mutilated to a PG-13-edit is the least of the problems here. Who the hell wants to see big-budget "horror" - movies with actors that can't act, stupid dialogue, plot holes/illogical turns and Z-grade directing anyway? I thought they stopped making movies this poorly something like 20 years ago. Or at least they should have stopped! Jason vs Freddy was actually scarier (not to mention WAY much better), and it was a parody for crying out loud! All that's missing from AvP is 'the annoying 12-year-old who's also the comic relief'. You know, the one who gets to say the last joke before the credits.