Paul W.S. Anderson, I want those two hours of my life back...

Rating: 1/10 (15 August 2004)

Sweet. Merciful. God. I don't know what I did to deserve seeing the abomination known as Alien Vs. Predator. Maybe I was just bored? Maybe I thought the movie would be as good as the other Alien/Predator films? I don't know. All I do know is that this movie spits on and destroys everything in the past movies. I would now like to make a few comments:
1) CGI does not work. At the end of the movie, there are shots of a CGI Queen alien that looks like a T-rex from Jurassic Park.
2) Total death of the Alien mythology. Okay, so now we have facehuggers who implant people and in less than 10 minutes, chestbursters pop out. What the hell?
3) Many plot inconsistencies, including: the strange Predator vision that has been changed from the previous movies, the fact that at the end of the movie there is a person running around in sub-zero temperatures wearing nothing but a sweater, the aforementioned facehugger-to-chestburster timeframe, the fact that two Predators can get wasted by an Alien in a span of 5 minutes, the number of aliens running around does not correspond to the number of potential hosts (most of which were killed), the fact that a Queen Alien is still living after many centuries, the issue of Charles Weyland having already showed up (or somnething like him) in Alien 3, and many others...
4) Cookie-cutter characters. Since this movie is only an hour and a half, no one really cares if any of the main characters die, Also, the acting is atrocious.
5) PG-13 rating. Obviously Fox wanted to market this to teenagers, and as a result, much of the gore and violence that were present in the previous movies are gone here (with the exception of Alien-on-Predator gore).
I wanted this movie to have an R-rating. I really did, and this is coming from a 16-year old. Being a person who owns the Alien Quadrilogy and has actually READ the AVP books (the same can't be said for many other people), I had high hopes for this. Then I realized that Paul W.S. Anderson (director of such box-office disasters such as Soldier and Resident Evil) was directing this. That's never a good sign. As a result, the movie is poorly edited, too short, and has bad acting. Don't go ee this movie. Stay at home and watch the originals. You'll feel much better.
"Whoever wins, we lose."