gag me with a spoon

Rating: 6/10 (20 December 2002)

During this movie I found watching the inside of my eyelids much more appealing. Something was just plain wrong about the whole movie. The biggest problem was that I didn't care about any of the characters but Ripley. This film was made in between the use of actual puppets and good computer animation (which is still obvious). That means that many times the Alien looked very fake. I thought the monster was more realistic in the original Alien.
Nothing was suspenseful of scary about this movie. The Alien point of view ruins the mystery and suspense of the Alien. I don't want to see what the Alien is seeing, what's the fun in that? I don't want to know where its going, I just want to be surprised.
Also, Ripley crashing on a planet of double Y chromosome rapists was immediately lame. Also, the doctor's little sob story made me wanna stop the movie right there. This movie had all the elements of a cheezy blockbuster, an embarrassment to the series. Because of this film, I'll probably never rent Alien: Resurrection. I can't even imagine the far-fetched, pathetic way Ripley comes back. I heard that Jeunet directed that film without knowing how to speak English to the cast. As the Godfather and Star Wars series' pointed out, three's a crowd. This is not an exception. 6/10