In space...no one can hear your funny parody of the original tagline.

Rating: 2/10 (24 April 2017)

Alien is a hilarious movie about a man called Sven who decides to move from Sweden to Japan. Unfortunately, he never bothered to learn Japanese. Hilarity ensues as Sven mistakenly signs up as a contestant in a sumo wrestling match!
I'm of course joking, but I would rather see that movie than Ridley Scott's dreadful movie again. It's not because "the special effects are dated!". The special effects are fine. The concept is okay, but unoriginal. They did the "trapped with a deadly alien creature" stuff long before 1979.
Whatever you do, don't watch this movie late at night with the lights off! You could fall asleep. The movie is so darn boring...I don't mind slow movies, but in Alien, nothing interesting happens in between the alien attacks. Probably because the potty-mouthed characters are so uninteresting and unlikeable. But the cat is cute, though.
The movie is best remembered for the chestburster scene. I read a review were the writer said that the only scene people talk about is this one. I thought about it for a moment, and I guess he's right. I've heard about it since I was eight...the chestburster is the only thing that makes Alien original. The problem is that the scene isn't even any good. It's just an excuse to show lot of blood and gore. And blood and gore isn't scary.
"It's an allegory for (whatever)!" Maybe it is, but allegory doesn't necessarily make a movie any good. Sometimes, a piece or crap is just a piece crap.
(2 stars for the cat)