Alice loses plot-less charm

Rating: 2/10 (10 March 2010)

I'm surprised this could get good reviews, especially from people who preface that they're HUGE Tim Burton/Johnny/Alice fans. Maybe they'd already decided that they love the movie before.
With that said, I am a HUGE Tim Burton fan and I LOVE Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and gasped when I learnt about this movie. Then I saw the first trailer and got even more excited because the characters looked just as they did in Disney but on steroids. But as the release date drew nearer, I started feeling ennui. The director and story pairing just seemed so...obvious.
And when I saw the movie it completely met my expectations. It was Tim Burton's Alice and it was boringly obvious. What I didn't expect was the insulting narrative that they tacked on. It was completely uninspired, the same plot of every fantasy quest kid's movie. But worse, they forgot that the point of Alice is that its plot less. The real Alice stumbles into the most oddball characters that are so immersed in themselves that they don't even notice when she leaves to encounter the next disconnected set of characters.
My heart sank when Alice steps into "underland" and she is met by the whole cast of characters and the entire plot of the movie is told to her. First of all, the characters don't "work" together, they're isolated loonies that wouldn't care one way or another who is the "ruler" of their land. And why would the ending of the movie been show at this point. The whole pace of this movie was very off.
Perhaps, the most disappointing is the mad hatter. The source of much aggravation to the real Alice, Depp's Hatter isn't that mad at all. He's sentient, practical(helping Alice escape), and has strong feelings for Alice that seemed creepy and pedophilic, especially since they seem to be reciprocated. His garish costuming and make up was also unpalatable.
The visuals weren't even that great. Too drab and apocalyptic, without enough respite. Wonderland is supposed to be filled with wonder, but I guess this was "underland", which brings me to the point - why didn't they change the title?! To trick people, like me, in watching the film.
The only thing that saved the film was the "red queen" or queen of hearts and her court of living things. Her look and Helena Bonham Carter's portrayal was perfection. Her character was the only one I cared about, the only one with any depth.
Watching the film made me physically squirm in discomfort. I found myself wishing I was watching the original Disney animation instead, or the glimpses of the younger Alice in her first trip. This new film was not only terrible, but possibly dangerous. My clueless companion asked if that was the story of Alice in Wonderland, and I couldn't get all my thoughts out quick enough. I sincerely hope, that this movie does not become associated with the Alice of mine and countless others youth.
In the end, I would never say I was let down by Burton. He's an artistic genius and nothing can taint that. I'm just going to try and forget that he made this film.