Alice in blunder-land ( oh wait, that's not the real Alice!)

Rating: 1/10 (15 March 2010)

What a over-rated, self-indulgent movie. Right from the inclusion of Johnny Deep in a maddening avatar to Helena Carter as the tyrant witch witch an oblong head, Tim Burton yet makes another movie that is barely watchable and completely loony, in a bad way.
Mia Wasikowska stars or rather pales as Alice, devoid of emotion or interest. Her pale, frail look gets on one's nerves as she sleepwalks throughout the film, with an expressionless countenance that feels weakens the movie significantly. The scenes where she is supposed to be brave look rehearsed and forced. In fact, I and my friends got so bugged that we wanted her clothes to fall off so that she could create some stir in the audience!
Anne Hathaway, vibrant and exquisite in Rachel Getting Married, gives a superficial portrayal of the kind and loving White Queen. Poor soul is soulless in the movie as she tries hard to be Meryl Streep or Julie Andrews but falters. Why did Tim have to cast her for a role more suitable for an older actress? Though miscast, she at least tries to make a character of her own, unlike Mia, but looks robotic. In fact, she looked like a typical deceiving hag who would bear her fangs anytime. "Oh, she's wearing white! Symbolizes peace. She must be the good one" but unfortunately, she ends up getting wasted. And even though her performance is being berated by a number of viewers, I feel that she at least tries to get into her role. Wish she didn't look so hideous here!
Mad Hatter is played by the outlandish Johnny Depp but he too doesn't cast much impact in his half-baked role. None of the characters, including him, connects with the audience. None are very likable. I remember, in Chronicles of Narnia, where though the main four Britishers aren't versatile actors, but the supporting cast shines. Tilda Swinton was towering, tormenting and impactful. Aslan, though not a real character, still was very likable. Here, everyone is mundane and lifeless. Depp still tries to give his fullest but the dreary pace of the film outweighs him since his performance isn't groundbreaking or any of that sort. And I'm not a hater of Johnny or Tim Burton (loved Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, liked Timm's Batman, Johnny's What's eating Gilbert Grape?)
Helena plays the Red Queen in a quirky fashion that gets customary and monotonous. She plays the role differently though, not the traditional ones who are mostly staunch and resolute. Instead, she plays a role similar to Meryl Streep's in She-Devil, who gives herself too much airs. She is funny and redeeming for a while. Then she grates because she does the same act throughout the movie and makes her performance one-dimensional.
Crispin Grover is tolerable. Tweedledum and Tweedledee are neither funny nor likable, overbearing at times. The story is tedious and the animation prosaic. The real world characters are so full of themselves and don't supply anything to the movie. The final scene is a bit implausible and rushed.
Well, it was a long, long, unending journey in the theater for me. Certainly a huge disaster from a talented guy. 1 out of 10 stars and a thumbs down.