What was that?

Rating: 1/10 (3 July 2010)

This movie was dreadful. The first 30 minutes were extremely painful to watch, but I said to myself "Hey, I know this has Johnny Depp in it, so I'll wait for his character to come in and we'll see where it goes from there." Johnny Depp's performance was pretty good, not as good as I was hoping for, but passable to say the least. However, the rest of the movie was a pile of cow dung. Johnny Depp could have been amazing in this movie, could have had his best performance ever, but it still would have been just Johnny Depp standing in a heaping pile of cow dung. I just don't get this movie, there's no, 'thing'. There's no, there's no... plot, although, no, there is a plot, albeit not very good, but it does exist. So what is it I'm looking for? Hmmmm... ah yes, the 'why' behind the movie. Why are they doing this, why, why, why. Why do they need Alice to come back? The White Queen (or w/e her name is, Anne Hathaway, that one) seems to be living quite peacefully in her castle. The Red Queen has had 13 years and has done... nothing, so, why not everyone bunk up with ol' Whitey? She seems fairly well off. You know how in a movie, there's the big climax moment that's been built up to and you're thinking "Oh boy, this is when this all gets resolved because this happened and that happened and now all of this is happening because so and so did such and such and now they're in this winner-take-all very intense battle!!!!" Well, Alice in Wonderland had that, but I'll edit it so that it's more appropriate Oh boy, now they're in this winner-take-all very intense battle!!!!" There's no real lead up to it, it just kinda, happens. I found myself not caring about it because there was no point. I felt like 'SO FLIPPING WHAT?' Nothing has really happened to make me care, at all, about any of the characters.
If you're thinking of watching this movie, then don't. It's just a waste of your time, unless you like complaining about things then by all means watch this movie, you'll have plenty to complain about guaranteed!