I'm stunned by how underwhelming this movie was

Rating: 4/10 (5 September 2010)

Alice in Wonderland is an amazing story on both a child and adult level, in large part because it is so clever and filled with double meanings pervaded by a sense of unreality. Take an awesome story like this, combine it with a great actor like Depp and an obvious master of CGI like Burton and one expects to be blown out of their seat with wonderment and magic.
Unfortunately the reality is not so much. None of the characters are particularly endearing -- although Alice gives it a try -- nor memorable. The card/soldiers were actually better in some of the cartoon versions of the story -- at least they had faces and expressions. These were neither scary nor did they show discernible emotion but came off like characters in a low resolution video game. The "hookah smoking character" we know and love was a complete dud. At least the Red Queen was mildly amusing, but never much more than that. And Depp, incredibly enough, was more boring than anything else.
What can I say? Ouch.