Hook 2.0

Rating: 3/10 (16 March 2010)

Painful.
Walking into the film it seemed reasonable to expect a quasi-faithful adaptation of "Alice in Wonderland" (I doubt Tim Burton would *ever* lower himself to making a straight adaptation). 20 minutes into the film I realized those expectations were setting the bar a little too high...
This film has far more in common with "Return to Oz" or "Hook" than it does to Lewis Carroll. Essentially an unofficial sequel to the Alice series, this version relies heavily upon our knowledge of the source material so that it can poach the visual elements and discard the meat and bones that made the book(s) so influential. After an interminable opening sequence we are rapidly introduced to the Wonderland ensemble absent the charm and the curiosity that made them household names.
Recharacterized and inexplicably dreary, these characters plod about the movie with the sole purpose to sloppily propel the narrative forward. This is probably the most criminal misstep of the entire film - we're never given the chance to sit back and enjoy them or the world they inhabit. Instead we're consistently forced to pay attention to a storyline that could have been written (with room to spare) on a table napkin.
This was very clearly put together by someone who had no understanding of what made the source material so memorable. I could be somewhat more forgiving if the movie had been titled *something* else (Return to Wonderland, anyone?) as I'm not a purist by any means.
This is not to say the film would be any better; simply that it would have less to be directly compared against. However, no matter what angle I look at Burton's Wonderland from I'm still left watching a dull film starring a dull cast with saccharine visuals that dull the senses quickly.
By dullards for dullards. Pass.