Notes to Mr. Burton

Rating: 4/10 (21 November 2010)

Your wife makes the movie come alive, although you unwisely move her away from caricature as the movie goes on. - What is the point of 'Underland'? Is this your coy way of saying you don't have to be faithful to the book? - We know you do whacky, fun visuals. Really, we do. They still don't actually make a movie where there is no movie. - As wild as you are about Depp, was it necessary to give the Hatter a bizarre, and occasional, Scots presence? - Setting up your Alice as a clunky, whiny heroine is not smart. - Do you sort of hate women, in that Alice and Hathaway's White Queen must look like they've been dead for a few weeks? Is Kate Moss your idea of an attractive young lady? - A cat that grins and speaks should be intriguing enough. You don't need to have him pop in and out like Nightcrawler in the X-Men, or spin through the air every minute. In fact, the cat is always more ominous just reclining on a branch. - Last thought: WHY reinvent the story, anyway? Why not just give us a definitive, beautiful, haunting 'Alice' and leave Narnia battles to Narnia?