What were they thinking???

Rating: 1/10 (10 September 2005)

My wife brought home Alexander from the library and MADE me watch...wow, saying this movie sucked is an insult to all other things that suck. Thare must be a new word created to aptly describe how bad this film is. When I saw Troy I thought the film makers had done a horrible job of translating brilliant source material and ended up with a movie that was bland and uninteresting at its best and at its worst just plain stupid...What Oliver Stone did, though, set a new low for doing a crap job. Alexander the great was THE WARLORD. I mean the man laid siege to a walled island for the love of monkey! This film, however, didn't show that. Instead they decided "Why spend time exploring this man's drive and conquest when we can look at his intra-personal relationships?" Rather than being Braveheart on Testosterone like it should have been, it was a cross between Queer as Folk, General Hospital and something else stupid with a couple of poorly shot battle scenes thrown in to the mix. And let's not even mention the acting...At least we now know for sure that Colin Farrel CANNOT ACT!!!! A few years ago I spewed hatred at a film called a House Without a Christmas Tree, according to my Aunt my remarks killed Jason Robards. I can only hope that Colin Farrel and Oliver Stone will now feel the wrath of my words! Currently I am trying to decide which crappy film I consider the worst of all time. After I have taken some time to heal from the pain of sitting through this crap fest I 'll decide if this movie is indeed worse than Van Helsing...