Alexander impressed me with it's ability to suck even more than I expected.

Rating: Null/10 (25 November 2004)

Honestly I expected this film to be among the worst I'd ever seen in theaters. Oliver Stone managed to exceed my expectations by making the worst movie I have ever scene. It's almost like this movie was performance art and Stone is secretly laughing at every single person that wastes $9 and three hours of their life watching it.
The accents of the characters were completely wrong. British and Irish accents for Greeks and Macedonians? And was Roxanne Cuban?
I still really have no idea what the purpose of Anthony Hopkins narrator was. His entire presence in the film only convolutes it's message more.
Val Kilmer and at least one other main character are missing an eye. I would have gladly given their characters my eyes to avoid watching this movie.
I wanted to feel more involved in the fight scenes, but only because I wanted a spear to come through the screen and put me out of my misery.
If you want to see this movie I would instead go to the video store rent Freddy Got Fingered and From Justin to Kelly and watch them back to back. I promise it will be more entertaining and more coherent.