What A Mess

Rating: 3/10 (8 August 2005)

I just finished watching the so-called 'Director's cut' of this film. I have a degree in history and have always been fascinated by Alexander the Great. I have read many books speculating as to who Alexander really was. What an amazing man he must have been. Needless to say I had anticipated this movie for some time.
Boy was I sorely disappointed.
Colin Farrell was a complete BUST as Alexander. Smirking at Angelina Jolie while he was delivering his 'son to mother' lines was bad enough. But after listening (and cringing through) his great 'speech' to the troops before Gaugemela, I was surprised that the men didn't retreat in a panic and/or commit wholesale suicide. Farrell is not believable AT ALL as Alexander, nor is he in any way believable as a leader of men. He is simply not a good actor.
This movie is hopelessly schizophrenic about Alexander. Oliver Stone makes Alexander out to be a 'shoot from the seat of the pants' wannabee who runs around the ancient world acting petulantly and disrespecting his colleagues and looking rather childish in nearly every scene he is in. This is then juxtaposed with scenes of Anthony Hopkins blathering on in the library at Alexandria about how incredible Alexander the Great was. Wait a minute. Are we talking about the same guy here? Or is Stone making the brilliant point that reality and myth are not the same? It's almost as if Stone is intentionally TARNISHING Alexander's legacy.
I also must confess that I didn't realize how much eye makeup people wore in the fourth century B.C. Everybody wore a lot! I was also surprised at the lack of dirt on anything in those ancient cities. Spotless.
Did I mention the special effects were poor?
IN SUM: THREE POINTS: Casting Farrell was the kiss of death, but had the movie somehow survived this inexplicable casting decision, the script would surely have killed it, and if the movie somehow lived through those two traumas, then the director's decision to have the Macedonians speak in a Scottish ACCENT (I'm not making this up)would surely have proved fatal.
Don't waste your time with this piece of rubbish.