The Howard the Duck of the New Millennium

Rating: 3/10 (30 November 2007)

Despite the overwhelming bad critical reviews, I thought I'd watch this movie. I'm not one to agree with what critics have to say, as I've enjoyed many a movie that they haven't. However they are on the mark with this one.
The first problem I have with this film is the casting. Just because Jolie lends a pretty face and is probably the only actor in the movie who played her part well, doesn't mean that she still fit into the part. The fact that she's only one year older than her on screen "son" is a major problem. She should have never made it to the screen as Olympias. On the other hand, she is the one person in the film that seemed to have any real passion on the screen. She did very well, though she was the wrong choice. As for the others, a blond Colin Farrell is just wrong in any film, a tired - and overly verbal - Anthony Hopkins is an incredible disappointment and Val Kilmer left no lasting impression at all.
Next we move on to the writing. The infinite, and so very dragging, dialog is just too much to try and sit through. Seconds began to tick by like minutes and minutes like hours. Most of the dialog throughout the film could have safely been edited out, without losing the direction the film was going. The extensive Braveheart-ish freedom speech, I'm sure, was a bore for those soldiers to have to sit through. Braveheart did it amazingly well and now everyone wants to do it. Unfortunately only Braveheart is capable of such a good thing.
The direction of the film (and I don't mean the point of it this time) was severely lacking. This is evidenced by the horrible casting, the writing and all other aspects of the film. Take the cinematography for example. This was a perfect opportunity to capture the incredible beauty of the spacious and exotic landscapes, in ways not ever seen before. Instead we are treated to photographic shots that I can do with my old 110 camera. The landscape subjects were good choices, but badly done.
Then there is the homosexuality that is badly portrayed. This subject is still in it's infancy on screen for many viewers, but it can Â– and has been - done respectfully and tastefully. In this instance however, it fails on several points. To say that it was markedly pretentious and overly melodramatic is putting it lightly. Were I a homosexual, I would find it personally offensive.
As for it's historical value, that is not something I can determine easily. I'm no scholar of Alexander and his time period. For example I'm well aware of the frequency of homosexuality in ancient Greece, but I am curious as to how much conjecture this film presents to us when it comes to Alexander's feelings. I prefer films that stick to the facts and not films that try to appeal to today's political ideas. HBO's Rome is a good example of this.
There was one thing though, on this very point, that I was pleased about. I was delighted with the inclusion of the near mystical story of Bucephalus, Alexander's beloved horse. On the other hand, I was disappointed in the follow up of that story. We get to see how Bucephalus came to Alexander (probably the best scene in the film), we see him riding him throughout the film, then... nothing. A little display of affection between the two here and there was warranted, but unfortunately was not provided.
I also liked the costume designs. Again, I don't know how historically accurate they are, but the message was clear and well done. That is except for Val Kilmer's polyester sheepskin rug he wore over his clothing. Had it looked more like real fur, it would have been completely acceptable, but I had a hard time believing it was.
All in all, and I'm very sad to say this, but this movie was a real time waster. It could've been cut to about forty-five minutes and it would've done well. I wouldn't suggest you watch it, unless you are like me and are curious.
I give it one star for the idea of a film about Alexander, one star for Jolie's performance and one star for the beginning of the Bucephalus story. That's all I can give it, which is sad to be sure.