Crap-tacular Flambe

Rating: 1/10 (7 March 2005)

I went into this film with a prior knowledge of Alexander's sexuality, and having an open mind like I do, it didn't bother me at all. The movie was supposed to be about Alexanders great conquests of lands unknown, but that whole idea got ensnared in homo-erotic stares that ate up screen time. It got to the point that I wanted them to screw and get it over with so we could resume the conquering(or lack thereof). Overall the movie left a bad taste in my mouth, something that other Oliver Stone movies have done before this. The fight scenes were nonexistent and the camera work of over dramatized. Brilliant scores accented scenes of horse races that ultimately ended abruptly with Alex and his gang camping in the mountains and complaining about going home. The narration was unspecific and confusing at best.
The final battle against the Persians was somewhat entertaining, but did not make up for the previous two hours of my high hopes being trampled under gay tension and witless banter.
I must say that besides Colin Farrell, the acting was superb. Val Kilmer brought his A game as always, and Jolie was extremely hot despite her unforgivable Russian accent.
If you are interested in seeing a good Oliver Stone film, look elsewhere. Cut your teeth on Born on the Fourth of July or Platoon if you are truly interested in his work.