Talk talk talk

Rating: 1/10 (26 November 2004)

11 of us went to see Alexander on Thanksgiving. We all fell asleep at one time or another. This may be the worst movie I've ever paid for. It was like a 4 hour history lecture with no visual aids. Yeah, the acting was probably good, but I was too distracted trying to stay awake to notice. 20 minutes of dialog between 2 people about "I hate you, I love you, I hate you", immediately followed by a 20 minute history lesson would bore the heck out of anyone.
The Macedonians had all kinds of accents; most of them were English, Scottish and Irish (maybe some Australians in there, too). But some of them had fake Persian accents.
A half hour is spent taking a conversation to climax. Insert action? Nope.
Anthony Hopkins gives you the short version of what went down as the next event is already being played. Those of you who saw the movie will remember this example: Alexander makes one of his lengthy rah-rah speeches about continuing over the hills through India. His men want to go home, start talking smack and throw stuff. Bam! They're in the the forest in India. How did this happen?
Don't see it. Don't rent it. Kick anyone in the pants who says it's a good movie.