Alexander The Irishman

Rating: Null/10 (23 November 2004)

This is a dull and ponderous affair. It's old school Hollywood, a retro movie in which Anglo performers play the "good guys" while dark, swarthy types play the baddies and look either craven or bloodthirsty throughout. The white guys
emote. The dark guys grunt. They have no voice. Who cares about them
anyway, right? It's another example of American directors who believe that
"Epic" means tossing a bunch of scenery- chewing Brits at the screen and
having them play other ethnic types. It's a 1950's movie ploy but done for the 21st Century. I half expected Liz Taylor and Richard Burton to do walk-ons. Americans and Brits should not be allowed to tan themselves up and play
people of color. It's insulting and dumb. Enough already. Surely the world is full of talented actors who can play their own ethnicity without having white guys take the parts. I mean, why DO the Greeks in this movie speak with Irish
accents anyway? It gets so ridiculous that Stone even has Val Kilmer, a Yank, donning an Irish accent. This is important because it purports to be a movie about the world and the man who conquered it and yet its vision is parochial. This is as much a cinematic error as it is a social one. It's just dopey film making.
Colin Farrel who knows how to scream and yell but not act, looks like Buster
Brown and his male lover looks like Fabio's younger brother. The sets are from the 1950's too. Plastic and fake. It's all bloated and leaden - a suburban view of the ancients. And worse, it's a film from another time. Weird. Kitschy. And sad.