lumbering epic

Rating: 5/10 (26 January 2006)

"Alexander" is a handsome but clunky attempt to duplicate those sword-and-sandal epics of the past. Although the screenplay gets many of the details of Alexander's biography right, the movie fails to being the character himself to life, thanks, primarily, to flat writing and a wooden performance by Colin Farrell, who turns the 4th Century B.C. Macedonian leader - who pretty much single-handedly changed the course of Western civilization - into little more than a whiny, teary-eyed mama's boy (and the actor they've chosen to portray Alex at 11 looks so much like little Mark Lester in "Oliver" that I half expected him to break out into a chorus of "Where Is Love?" before his part was over). None of the other characters make much of an impact either, although Angelina Jolie, as Olympias, his scheming, diabolical mother, turns in a scenery-chewing performance that is at least fun to watch. Anthony Hopkins brings his trademark pomposity to the role of Ptolemy, historian and narrator of the tale, lending an air of urbane pretentiousness to the film.
Almost the only thing of interest in the film is the surprisingly forthright way in which Stone deals with Alexander's long-recognized homosexuality, as reflected in his lifelong devotion to the pal of his youth, Hephaistion. Many filmmakers, aiming for the kind of mainstream audience a film of this budget and size demands, would have simply sidestepped the issue. It's true that the one full-on sex scene is between Alexander and his Persian wife, but Stone at least leaves us with little doubt as to where Alexander's true inclinations lie.
For the most part, though, this is a surprisingly conventional and even conservative film for director Stone. Missing are the human insights and fancy directorial flourishes we've come to expect from the maker of "Platoon," "Born on the Fourth of July," "Nixon," and "JFK" (although the unsubstantiated conspiratorial ending reminds one of "JFK"). The dialogue is generally pedestrian and prosaic, and the story dawdles when it most needs to move on. The battle scenes are fairly scanty and redundant, although the sight of a herd of elephants charging through the forest as part of an Indian army is mighty impressive.
At just a hair shy of three hours, the director's edition of "Alexander" is a mighty long haul indeed.