No String Can Hold Up the World.

Rating: Null/10 (26 November 2004)

Long, opulent, frustrating and ultimately mediocre take on one of the most mysterious and interesting individuals who ever walked the Earth. The titled character (portrayed as a man by Colin Farrell) became the ruler of Macedonia as a young adult and went on to conquer Persia and advanced to India before dying supposedly of fever just prior to his 33rd birthday. The events of the film are dictated by Ptolemy (Anthony Hopkins) some 40 years after Alexander's untimely death and thus we have flashbacks galore. For the most part the movie jumps approximately eight years forward at a time, showing its primary character at the age of 3, then 11, then 19, etc. Ptolemy as a younger man (portrayed quietly by Elliot Cowan) was actually one of Alexander's military commanders and thus he should have great insight into his former ruler. However, Cowan makes such a small impression that he pretty much gets lost in the chaotic shuffle. Ditto for gay love interest Jared Leto whose part could have been eliminated all together in my opinion. The sexual undertones are a wasted distraction that finally lead nowhere in terms of helping us understand Alexander better. The women seem totally lost in this venture as Angelina Jolie's disillusioned and crazed Olympias comes out looking more like a silly caricature than a historical enigma. Rosario Dawson is also on hand as a wife that Alexander has Luke-warm feelings for. Dawson, who has never proved she has any talent on the screen, generates no intensity either (even when she and Farrell engage in a rough sexual interlude). Val Kilmer shines in an uneven part as King Philip (Alexander's father, who supposedly impregnated Olympias by raping her) and his relationship with Farrell is up and down the whole way. At times they seem like they love each other and then they turn on one another like upset cobras thrown together in a glass box. "Alexander" is an intensely fascinating production. Co-writer/director Oliver Stone (doing his first mainstream work since the grid-iron dud "Any Given Sunday") reaches to the outer limits here and sadly comes up empty. The style of this picture is unlike anything from any other Stone-directed film. In many ways spectacle outshines everything else as art direction, costume design, cinematography and even the editing are right on target. Vangelis' (best known for scoring "Chariots of Fire") soundtrack is out of this world. As bad as this movie is, I was still mesmerized by its beautiful sound. The screenplay is a stylized train-wreck that combines myth, history and many personal assumptions (the film questions the way Alexander died ala Stone's conspiracy theories in the far superior "JFK") to create a pudding of nothingness. A talented cast has trouble with the way the movie is set up too as the dialogue feels forced, staged and at times unintentionally comical. With all this said, I wanted to like this film a lot more than I did by the finale. This was a monumental attempt that really did not pan out. To be fair to Stone, I am not sure any filmmaker could achieve success with this subject matter. If nothing else, "Alexander" makes me want to go back and study this part of world history. 2.5 out of 5 stars.