Alexander...Not so great

Rating: 5/10 (28 July 2006)

Alexander had the budget and all the players for the making of a great movie. But almost anyone will agree that it just doesn't work. Why? I've watched both versions of the film and I've tried to narrow it down to just a few main reasons the film doesn't really come together in the end:
1. Alexander Himself - Though I can't say Colin Farrell would be my ideal choice to play the part, I don't blame this on the actor. I have serious trouble with the way Alexander is portrayed in the script as a generally weak, whiny, indecisive drunkard who asks his friends' council then ignores it completely, and then seems to go totally bat-sh@# insane every time he hits the battlefield. When we watch this portrayal, we can't help but ask the obvious question: Why the hell would ANYONE follow this guy anywhere, let alone beyond the reaches of the known world?
2. The Romance (both hetero- and homosexual) - There's no point in questioning Alexander's affection for his wife or his male lovers, because he tells us, and the movie tells us, repeatedly how much he loves and cares for them. But that's just the problem. For all the misty eyed looks he gives Hephaistion (Jared Leto), Bagoas, and Roxane, we never really have a reason to care. Despite the presence of three major relationships in the film, none of them seem to directly affect Al's decisions, nor do they satisfy the audience's inherent liking for a love interest. I mean, if Oliver Stone's not interested in convincing the audience of the passion that Alexander feels for these people, then stop rubbing it in our faces, as if we can't just accept it for what it is. Despite Stone's vehement reaction toward the public's dismissal of the film, supposedly for its homosexual content, he's certainly careful not to show too much. Honestly, how many aimless, weepy Alexander/Hephaistion scenes do I have to sit through before the director feels like he's convinced me?
3. The Director - I respect Oliver Stone and I appreciate that he likes to take risks. But the simple fact is that this movie is what I call "all questions and no answers." On the film commentary, Stone asks "why did these men follow Alexander?" "Why did Alexander take Roxane as his wife?" "Was Alexander's mother really behind this or that?" And yet Stone offers no answers to these questions. It's an interesting approach that probably looked good on paper, but when the audience must question the motives of even the main character, this simply becomes frustrating.
4. Style - While something can be said for Stone's unique take on the material in an overly-theatrical manner, using all kinds of accents to portray ethnic differences between characters, this approach does more to distract the audience than to intrigue them. Indeed, much of the constant, over-dramatic yelling comes off as unintentionally funny.
All in all, I didn't hate Alexander. Indeed, I thought it at least tried harder than Troy to convey an artistic portrait of an epic era long past. Even so, it's ultimately a thumbs down for me. 5 out of 10.