I believed all movies had *something* to offer...

Rating: Null/10 (23 November 2004)

... and I'd never been proved wrong, until now. The script/dialogue, casting, accents, character "development", selection and development of themes, plot and tome of this movie are an utter mess.
I hold no previously established distaste for Stone or any of the actors, and I'd read no reviews going in. I enjoy challenging movies, and I promise any other reviewer who claims my dislike comes from an unwillingness to think is wrong. My distaste for this movie comes from the sheer horror I experience when I realize millions of people are about to be tricked into seeing this atrocious film.
If Alexander had been the person Stone portrays him to be, he would never have accomplished all he did. I am not referring to the fact that, as a Macedonian living circa 350BC, he probably had carnal knowledge of a few men, and that the movie works with this probability. That's just fine. Ferrell was the wrong decision for this part, and the script never lets him have a backbone, much less the god-like drive that historians credit Alexander with.
Jolie's accent is odd, (I know a number of Greeks and Russians. Her accent resembles the latter.) but at least she stays with it. Ferrell pops out a brogue every now and again. The shaky character development is further highlighted by this breaking of illusion. The pervasive inclusion of modern-day American clichés in the dialogue further shatters the illusion.
Stone's choices about what pieces of history make the cut are odd. This fact, coupled with cheesy soundwork, bad, negligible and tangled character development and a seemingly anesthetized Jared Leto with too damn much eyeliner made me empathize with the soldier's sentiment near the end of this three-plus hour movie. I was completely worn out by Alexander.