Enough Already!

Rating: Null/10 (29 November 2004)

I had the opportunity of seeing Alexander for free at a Warner Bros. sneak preview on the Campus of my University. I waited in line for almost two hours in the freezing cold in the prospect of seeing this three hour epic....what a waste of time.
From the opening credits to Hopkins' closing statements I was utterly disappointed and baffled by the sheer inappapropriateness of the entire movie.

Angelina Jolie (who I adore), chose to use a Russian accent and Colin and his gang all had Irish or Scottish accents...at least go for the classic booming English accent that is so commonly used in these epics if you can't get the correct accent down.

Why the need to constantly pound the viewer with the fact that Alexander might have been a homosexual? Being progressive can be cool but this was absolutely ridiculous.

The Battle scene(s) were not well done either. It was very hard to realize what exactly was going on. All I remember from the Persian battle was Darius (the coward) staring across the battlefield, giving commands, running away, the occasional spearing and dust...a lot of dust. Then that ridiculous collision in the woods between Alexander and the Indian on the Elephant. TOO MUCH SLOW MOTION!

The sex scene between Roxana and Alexander....ridiculous. The purring, and growling...what?

I saw "Troy" earlier this year and I thought this epic phase would be done after that. Gladiator was great, Lord of the Rings was cool but I think its time people stopped or at least approached the "genre" from a different angle.
Don't see Alexander...even for free.