Alexander The-Not-So-Great

Rating: Null/10 (29 November 2004)

Alexander (2004) ** Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Anthony Hopkins, Jared Leto, Rosario Dawson, Christopher Plummer. Oliver Stone's long-gestating biopic of the legendary Greek conqueror is a divine mess with a sorely miscast Farrell (in one degradingly awful blond-tressed wig after another; at one point he resembles Wham!'s Andrew Ridgeley !) as the conflicted young emperor who attempted to rule the known world with nearly 90 percent of it under his command but for a hefty price including his life. The logy, bloated (clocking in a shade under three hours) sleep-inducing pace is the worst of the production's sins as well as some hammy acting by Kilmer as the cyclopean father, King Philip and Jolie affecting a decidedly Transylvanian accent as the scheming snake-fetish femme fatale mother Olympias yet the battle sequences prove to be inventive and at times rousing (especially the climactic India skirmish replete with elephants) but the damage is done in the cringe-worthy screenplay by Stone, Christopher Kyle and Laeta Kalogridis with some howlingly awful dialogue and a badly handled attempt to suggest bisexuality on Alexander's behalf with Leto's Hephastion. An epic misstep indeed.