Not horrible but seriously disappointing

Rating: 4/10 (3 February 2005)

While this movie is not as bad as many reviewers and others have said, it is deeply disappointing.
Let us begin with the homosexuality thing. Whether or not Alexander the Great was gay, straight, bi-sexual, or something else altogether involving monkeys or whatever with regards to sexual preference is really not that important. In the Greek world of Alexander's time, sexuality--historians and the like seem to say--was nowhere near as prudish and puritanical as America today, blue state or red state, and if one were inclined to sleep with men or boys or girls or slaves or what the hell ever, then society in general wasn't likely to obsess about it.
Oliver Stone has said as much when discussing the film, and that makes the film's treatment of Alexander's sexuality even more peculiar and unfortunate, because the film absolutely DOES obsess about Alex the Great maybe being a bit of a homo.
If it was not that important at the time, why spend so much time on it. If it's not that important at the present--and it certainly is not--why devote so much screen time to it.
It's like this: You're making a movie about one of the most interesting and enigmatic historical figures ever--really; you have give or take three hours in which to tell this epic story. It's not that Alexander's sexuality should be avoided or glossed over; it's just not that important. The guy conquered a rather large portion of the known world; so his favorite place to store his genitalia just is not that important. The guy is queer; the guy is sort of queer; the guy is not queer at all--whatever, get back to the more interesting world conquering business already.
Let's move on. I am a huge fan of Oliver Stone. He's not everybody's cup of tea; I think he's phenomenal. Perhaps, though, he was not the right director for this difficult material. I usually enjoy Stone's trademark directorial indulgences, but, as with the gay/not gay stuff, there is just a limited amount of time for this story. So, maybe Stone just Freuded out too much on this one.
As for the cast, it's OK. Colin Farrell is OK. Kilmer is decent. Jolie is way over the top, but oh well. Jared Leto is actually pretty good. Rosario Dawson is actually quite good, and there is a scene with her that I guarantee will hypnotically transport you back to your breastfeeding days.
The problem with the movie is just simply the script. This is an epic story; it is challenging material, and it just did not pull it off. If there is a fatal flaw in this flawed film, it is the inability to fully convey the historical, cultural and military achievements of Alexander the Great--or even come close.
This was Alexander the Sort of Interesting, Alexander the Possible Flamer, Alexander the Braveheart Clone, and Alexander the Still Mysterious because they couldn't write a screenplay not condescending to moviegoers.