Alexander gets Stoned

Rating: 4/10 (29 January 2013)

Oliver Stone's strategy for bringing the great Macedonian conqueror to life in his $150 million movie was flawed from the start, and Alexander the Great, who was never beaten in battle, went down in defeat yet again on the screen.
Apparently this is the movie that Oliver Stone always wanted to make. He even had Robert Rossen's stilted 1956 film, "Alexander the Great" to show the pitfalls to avoid. However he may not have done his homework because many of the elements that let down the earlier film do the same thing to this one.
The story covers Alexander's life from boyhood until his death in Persia, but his life was so intertwined with the politics of ancient Greece that Stone needed a way to help the audience understand what was happening. He decided on narration by Anthony Hopkins who plays one of Alexander's generals, however it makes the movie feel old-fashioned from the start.
The relationship between Alexander and his mother, Olympus, played by Angelina Jolie, and with his father, Philip of Macedon, played by Val Kilmer, is explored ad nauseum, and it all becomes rather tedious. Finally and fatally, Colin Farrell does not project enough power or charisma to make you believe he could lead men across the road to the pub let alone on a campaign to conquer the world.
Angelina Jolie went to town on her character. Weighed down with snakes and large earrings, plus an accent seemingly inspired by Natasha Fatale of "Rocky and Bullwinkle" fame, she delivers an over-the-top performance, which also helps knock the movie off balance.
After his father's death, Alexander leads the Greeks and Macedonians into Persia to complete what he believes is his destiny. Stone waits until the battle of Gaugamela in Persia before he unleashes an awesome spectacle – the film needed more of this. Instead, when screen time isn't taken up with the politics, it is taken up with Alexander's pursuit of young men. Not only does Stone present us with the concept of a brotherhood of warriors along the lines of the Gay Mardi Gras Recovery Party, but Alexander pursues just about anything in a loincloth.
That's not to say the film has no female love interest because Alexander can march in any direction – his encounter with Rosario Dawson as Roxanne is a very hot scene. Not only that, but there is definitely subtext in Alexander's relationship with his mother. That's a lot of R&R for one soldier.
Although the movie is long, it seems longer. Unfortunately, after Alexander's spectacular entry into Babylon, the story meanders – we are told about Alexander's conquests but we don't actually see them. Finally, as Alexander approaches the Indus River and the gateway to India, he faces his toughest battle. The Macedonians encounter an Indian army, which employs elephants like M1 Abrams tanks. The fuzziness of Stone's thinking reveals itself when he uses a red filter during the battle. An effect such as this was probably passé by the late 60's – now, it's just annoying. However, by this stage, the audience can't wait for it to end. This duly takes place after Alexander's death from disease.
The life of Alexander is well documented. Stone had plenty of material to draw on. He opted to concentrate on the politics and Alexander's tortured psyche rather than the campaigns of conquest that are the real reason for his enduring fame. Although too many battles would no doubt have caused audience battle fatigue, the movie lacks action.
For a while, Baz Lurman was also slated to direct a version of the mighty Macedonian's life. Although this now seems unlikely, if he ever does, maybe his quirky, full-throttle approach to filmmaking will finally see Alexander achieve the cinematic greatness that has so far eluded him.