Good...but could have been amazing

Rating: 6/10 (9 January 2005)

From the moment I heard the bizarre mix of Irish Macedonian boys to the Russian enchantress of Ms Jolie, I just felt embarrassed for this film. Non of the serious bits of dialogue (which in content themselves don't' score above average) could be taken seriously, not only because I was laughing at the voices but at Colin's 80's Dj hairstyle and the complete wimpy girly "hardmen" hanging around with him. It's hard to imagine an army of thousands of Persians running from a guy who's hair looks like He-Man's or any of his skinny mates in skirts and eye-liner.
The whole gay-thing of Alexander, while maybe historically accurate, is more in the forefront of this movie than an actual plot. Why go conquering? What compelled Alexander to drive into the unknowns of India? The film just tries to cram in to much while one theme which would give it more of a plot.
For plot and acting (apart from Farrell and maybe Jolie) the film scores a cringe-worthy 3-4. However THERE IS A DIAMOND IN THIS ROUGH! THe movie looks amazing. The costumes, the sets but most especially the battles are on a scale that makes TRoy look as dated as Hammer Horror movies. The battles are something else with dust, dirt and blood making them claustraphobically real. The city of Babylon also lights up the screen. For me the battle in India is one of the best I've seen (apart from the mental red tree bit at the end!?) and Alexander's horse dying created the only moment of emotion in the film. Therefore, despite a less than average plot and poor casting outside the leading man, the battles and sets raise the score of this to a fair 6/10.