Alexander The Not-So Great

Rating: 5/10 (1 December 2004)

I have been waiting for this movie for over a year now, ever since I found out that Colin Farrell had landed this coveted role.
I had predicted back then, when I knew nothing about the movie, only that Colin Farrell was working on it and that Oliver Stone was directing it, that this could possibly be Colin's first opportunity at getting an Oscar nomination.
I was that confident in his acting skills.
I still am.
I just didn't anticipate Oliver Stone to be such a terrible director.
I was shocked to notice that some scenes were out of focus, jittery and just downright badly shot.
The CGI stuff is supposed to look real, not CGI.
The movie did start slow. Even the opening credits were long. That was completely unnecessary.
Anthony Hopkins role should have been trimmed down.
That first scene were he is telling the story of Alexander and a scribe is jotting down everything he says looked like a set.
It looked manufactured.
It looked fake.
It didn't feel real to me.
And it was just too darn long.
I love Anthony Hopkins but I felt like I was being lectured to.
Once the story gets going, we see a child Alexander terrified of the snakes his mother, Olympias (played by Angeline Jolie sporting the most atrocious accent ever) is playing with.
This is a foreshadowing scene because we see her surrounded by snakes in every single scene she's in.
Whether that's subtext for the audience to realize that Olympias is just as slithery and venomous as a snake or it's just a ploy to make her look exotic, who knows?
But it is definitely used as a ploy for us to make sense why later on, as a grown man, Alexander is attracted to Roxane, played by Rosario Dawson with an equally appalling accent, and decides to marry her.
We are to believe that because Roxane wears the same snake design armlets as his mother does and because she bears a similar profile to Olympia, that he fell in love with her at first sight.
First of all, Rosario Dawson is far from beautiful. Yes, she's attractive and exotic looking but not beautiful like Angelina Jolie is.
And no one in their right mind would say there is a resemblance between the two.
If that was the intention, then Dawson was miscast and another actress, one resembling Angelina, would have been a better choice.
Later on we see a young Alexander played by Connor Paolo who played Travis on 'One Life to Live". I recognized him but couldn't place him so I had to look him up on IMDb.com. So I was a little surprised to see a child soap actor in the movie. He did a good job, considering the material.
Finally, one hour into the movie, Colin Farrell shows up on the screen with his blond locks.
Granted, he's not a very attractive blonde but with time, it grows on you and you forget that his eyebrows are light brown in one scene and dark brown in the next.
Well actually no you don't. You actually obsess and see how many times they goof with the eyebrow color.
At first I thought it was intentional. I thought they were meant to be darker as he got older to show age.
But then a couple of scenes later, when he's supposed to be older, his eyebrows are back to a golden brown.
I know that Stone had to reshoot some scenes because he used bad film stock and maybe that's why we see the discrepancy but it was just a bit annoying.
The battle scenes were okay. Not amazing or impressive as in 'Braveheart' and 'Gladiator".
And the musical score was terrible. It was all wrong.
Oliver Stone probably picked Vangelis to work on this film primarily because he is Greek.
But this is the first time that Vangelis has ever scored an epic film and it shows.
His mostly known for his work on 'Blade Runner' (a sci-fi movie) and 'Chariots of Fire' (which was how many years ago now?? Oh yea, over 13 years). He has recently worked on 'Bruce Almighty' and 'Old School", a couple of not very epic movies.
So while John Williams (of 'Star Wars' and 'Indiana Jones' fame) or Hans Zimmer (who scored 'Gladiator") or James Horner ("Braveheart' and 'Troy") would have been much better choices, Stone picked Vangelis who should definitely not get an Oscar nod.
One of the best scenes in the movie is the battle with the elephants. But the climactic scene is given away in the trailer so when you see the scene unfold, you already know what's going to happen.
Many scenes could have been much shorter. This movie could have benefited from some expert and smart editing.
The movie dragged at times and while we get a narration provided by Anthony Hopkins throughout the movie, we aren't given enough time with the character of Alexander to really know what is going on in his head.
He keeps his men in the dark and the audience is right there with them, not knowing why Alexander makes the choices he makes.
I know that Alexander's life story is not all factually known and a lot comes from myths and legends and conjecture, but I would have rather Stone given him some solidity even if made up so that we knew what drove this man to carve the path he traversed while alive.
The whole bisexuality issue wasn't as present as I expected it to me.
In truth, Colin Farrell only kisses one man in the entire movie. And while there are innuendos indicating that he slept with men, more importantly Hephaistion (played by Jared Leto as a complete and total wallflower who will stand by Alexander no matter what) and Bagoas (played by newcomer Francisco Bosch, looking as pretty as ever), the most they did was throw heated lusty looks at each other and hug.
Beyond that, nothing else happened and it was all implied.
So even Stone, known mostly for his controversial views, shied away from really exploring the bisexuality of the time. Anti-gay activitists should have no big problems with this movie. But then again, they need something to believe in and fight for so let them rally.
This movie isn't one of Stone's best. It isn't even one of Colin Farrell's best. Nor any of the exceptional actors in the movie.
I totally blame this on Stone. He dropped the ball big time. Or maybe he just lost his fizz.
He intended this to be his opus and he failed miserably. He sunk a lot of money into this movie and I fear that he will not be able to regain it all back in box office sales.
Word of mouth will get around and hurt this movie's performance in the box office. It will probably have a strong first opening week, but will quickly die after that.
Granted, the movie isn't terrible. It does have some good elements in it and could have definitely benefited from a healthy dose of editing.
But it's over and done with now. Not as good as 'Braveheart' nor 'Gladiator' not even equal to 'Troy' which had a better storytelling style, but it's watchable and enjoyable in some parts.
If you are still curious, go see it. But keep an open mind.