Don't waste your time

Rating: 1/10 (28 November 2004)

I have never walked out on a movie before. That is, until I saw Alexander. I don't mind the homo erotic overtones, I don't particularly dislike any of the actors chosen to be in the movie, I usually like Oliver Stone... But this movie, this utter pile of detestable celluloid.
Problems
1) The film has no direction, it just ambles on randomly. Picking and choosing what appear to be random events in Alexanders life then slapping them together with the aide of poor old Anthony Hopkins. Sometimes they forget some pretty important stuff and go back and cover it 1hr 25 minutes later than they originally should have.
2) Alexander is played with no depth whatsoever. Colin Farrell just plain sucks in this role. Same with Angelina Jolie, she comes out as a weird photocopy of the archetypal "evil-plotting" mother. C'mon, bring some life to the character.
3) Too long, after sitting through meandering 2hrs 30min, you just want the damn thing to be over with. It was billed as a great epic about a great warrior... Epic blundering maybe. As for epic battles? There are only two in the movie. And the first one was pretty disappointing at that. If you're looking for battle, stay home rent "Gladiator" or "Troy". Like the real Alexander this movie just doesn't know when to quit. Oliver Stone is trying to make a 3 hour masterpiece, instead its more like another 3 hour Costner snooze fest. Waterworld anyone?