Alexander the...FAB-ulous!

Rating: Null/10 (21 November 2004)

Horrible and how anybody could imagine it would be anything but is beyond me but that kind of thinking--not aliens or explosions or Chris Reeve flying--is the true magic of Hollywood.
1) Angelina Jolie is a year older than Colin Farrell, who plays her son.
2) British and Irish accents are used to represent Macedonians and Greeks. This was apparently a conscious decision. Wouldn't any idiot off the street question this approach? Probably, but apparently not the show-biz geniuses who channeled tens of millions to Oliver Stone based on, what...his track record? When was his last hit again?
3) Oh, but for some reason Ms Jolie uses a Transylvanian accent.
4) Who the hell is Anthony Hopkins (the all-knowing one who narrates this stool sample) supposed to be? Is he the irrelevant character with the Art Garfunkle haircut?
5) Oh, and for some reason, Rosario Dawson, a Babylonian character, uses a Puerto Rican accent: "You...loff...heem?"
6) And how the hell does anyone know Alex was gay anyhow?