Pointless epic

Rating: 5/10 (7 August 2005)

Alexander is the most plodding, uneventful historical epic I have ever layed eyes on. Directed by Oliver Stone, he transforms the life of a major historical figure, Alexander the Great, into a muddled mess of a film, teaching us nothing of the man, not to mention his great quests.
It had been public knowledge that Alexander the Great had been a pet project of Stone's for a long time, but after viewing the results it's hard to believe that Stone gave much thought to who this person really was. The film meanders from scene to scene, focusing first on Alexander's tempestuous relationships with both his mother and father, moving on to his victory against a superior Persian force at Gaugemela, his travels Eastward, eventually to India, finally his return to the city of Babylon and his undoing. Yet, as much as the above description seems to suggest that Stone covers Alexander's life, in the end I don't really feel as if I know much of anything about Alexander or those around him.
Alexander's narrative is revealed via a voice-over by Alexander's associate Ptolemy (Anthony Hopkins) many years after Alexander's death, recounting the tales of Alexander's exploits. He tells of Alexander's early life with his mother, Olympias (Angelina Jolie), and his father, King Phillip (Val Kilmer), who are at each other's throats, although the film is never clear why. Alexander grows to manhood, in the guise of Colin Ferrell, and continues to have a contentious relationship with his father, and seems to start one with his mother, until his father dies, and Alexander sets out on a quest to bring those that he believes are responsible to justice. This leads to the battle with the Persians, and Alexander then moves on to conquer what is the known world, while at the same time, bringing civilization to the world.
It is said that when a long movie is good, you never notice. Well, Alexander isn't one of those movies. Alexander seems to go on forever, scene after scene, with little or nothing interesting to offer the audience. Alexander appears to want to tell us the life story of the man, but frankly, he stays undeveloped. Yes, the film pays lip service to Alexander's desire to educate the world and bring civilization to those viewed as barbarians, but these are just words. Alexander features scene after scene where characters argue with each other, which seems like drama, except that these characters aren't really saying anything. The dialogue is just words pouring out because they need to. The characters say nothing of value.
There is a lot of attention paid to Alexander's bisexuality, specifically his attraction to Hephastion (Jared Leto), his longtime companion, but there is no interest to be generated from this relationship, or any other. There is no sense of chemistry or love, and later when Alexander takes a wife in the form of Roxane (Rosario Dawson) she serves as just window- dressing; again, there is no development of the relationship.
In any historical epic, you usually expect some epic battle sequences, any while there are some attempted in Alexander, they are woefully inept. With no real interest in the characters, the battle scenes just go through the motions, providing no excitement or energy to the film at all. The second half of the film mostly focuses on Alexander's trip east, but the supporting characters are all undeveloped, ciphers with little or no personality, who are all interchangeable. When the men rise up in mutiny, and some Alexander's associates are implicated and killed, but their deaths mean nothing to us. There is some lip service payed to Alexander's relationship to his father and mother, but it all adds up to nothing, really. There is no sense of why Alexander defends either at any time, as they are both rather unappealing characters, and all Alexander seems to do whine and complain about both at different times, making look like a wimp, not a powerful ruler.
The film also passes over major developments in his life, skipping major battles and lightly covering a major misstep when Alexander moves his soldiers through the desert in one scene. One gets the impression that Stone wanted to cram so much into one film that he glosses over many events that should prove instrumental to Alexander's life.
When all is said and done, Alexander is a major failure, and an enormously disappointing film. There was a great deal of interesting material here, but it is all wasted on a bloated epic that proves to be pointless.