So bad. I'm speechless.

Rating: 2/10 (16 May 2007)

I was just able to catch another Oliver Stone film, this time it was Alexander. Let me just say, I want 3 hours of my life back. I can't begin to explain how pitiful Alexander truly is. It is just cinema and Hollywood at its worst. It was like watching a horror film. It just shook me up but not in a good way. I was told before hand I'd be stunned. I was stunned, stunned that Oliver Stone directed this piece of garbage, totally inaccurate film that I was told was better then Gladiator or Kingdom of Heaven.
The film is suppose to tell us the story of Alexander the Great, one of the greatest military commanders and kings to ever exist. The film follows from young prince to death. We are taken across Macedonia, Asia Minor and Asia. We see the major battles of Gaugamela and Hydaspes. We also are taken into a mental look of Alexander. All is fine and well when this is read on paper but when you see it done on screen, its awful.
Everything is way overblown. I know they are fighting in the desert at Gaugamela but for God's sake the audience wants to see the battle not just a giant dust cloud. The acting reminded me of watching a silent film from the 1910's with every character reacting overly traumatic to an action. The sets are so unbelievable. Yes this was the golden age of the Macedonian Empire but nothing was built or looked perfectly as Stone wants us to believe with every set shown.
Colin Farrell is not a bad actor when given the right material. He is, however, a terrible Alexander the Great. I believe it is more of the character Stone wanted him to be, not Farrell himself. There are so many changes in personality for Alexander, from gay to straight, quiet and naive to inspirational and powerful, to scared and upset to determined and all mighty that eventually you start taking bets on what his next mood swing will be and what side he'll show. Now I'm sure the real life Alexander had some personal problems but if he saw how he was portrayed in this he'd probably be drawing up plans to invade Hollywood.
I've lost almost all hope in Oliver Stone. His films are gradually deteriorating into boring and overblown pieces, nothing like Platoon was. Everything looks to fancy and neat. The costumes are too new, the people are too handsome, the battles are too choreographed. Stone's dialog is bland, boring, and thoughtless. There is either no emotion behind a speech or too much emotion. I can't begin to count how many times Farrell goes to the verge of tears when talking to someone.
I honestly have never seen a worse biopic or historical drama. Nothing made sense. I couldn't tell what part of the story was going on with the constant flashbacks and flash forwards. The whole presence of Anthony Hopkins was totally unnecessary and boring. It just added wasted minutes onto the film. The film is so dry at moments I would fall asleep and wake up and they'd still be talking. Of the 2 hours and 55 minutes there is about 30 minutes of battle and 40 minutes of Alexander crying. Good job Stone. You really should think about whether you should ever direct again. I would say no.
1/5 Stars