Alexander less Great/Less Filling

Rating: 3/10 (26 November 2004)

With apologies to Angelina Jolie (who was trapped and did her best in this film. I would like to believe that... although, Angelina, it's getting a little hard to keep defending your choices.)
Wow, who would think that a movie about a 20 something, bisexual over achiever, with a HOT MOM, would be this boring and funny at the same time. I tell you one thing, The screenwriters of the film have a real ear for comedy. Too bad they were writing a DRAMA!
I guess for me, after realizing how bad it was gonna be --- I was missing some things, like a good musical number, or more physical comedy to liven up the entire thing. Somewhere along the line, the pie in the face bit was cut and no one was consulted.
But seriously folks, when Stoney set out to make this epic, he didn't think he was gonna end up writing one of the best comedies of the year. I think it should indeed be nominated in the BEST COMEDY/MUSICAL category of the Golden Globes. But imagine how funny the movie itself would have been if he indeed used some of the more comically agile actors of our time.
here's a sample cast:
1. Alexander - Madonna "Conquer your FEAR! and I'll let you know the secret of how this blond conquered the world, it's called... MARKETING."
2. Olympias - Jennifer Lopez "The World is MINE, i mean, yours, yours, but seriously does my butt look too big in this robe..."
3. Philip - Bernie Mac "A king isn't born until i slap him upside the head."
4. Hephastion - Sean Hayes aka Jack from Will and Grace "Look at MEEEE! I'm dating the conqueror of the World."
5. Roxxanne - Megan Mullaly aka Karen of Will and Grace- "Oh, honey, I was so drunk when you conquered persia, I don't even remember."