Guy Ritchie, Please Stop

Rating: 1/10 (28 May 2019)

I have never liked Guy Ritchie movies. Whilst I will say he does have a certain style that is recognisable in his earlier gangster flicks, his recent directorial efforts have been awash with horrible editing, painful dialogue, and surprisingly a lack of a fitting style. Aladdin is another live action remake of a Disney classic, and its only positives are two solid performances from Will Smith and Naomi Scott, and some predictably strong CGI.
However, the rest of the film sucks. I hated Aladdin so much it may even be my most hated film of 2019. Mena Massoud is just a pretty boy with the acting range of a TV remote. The actor who played the villain is terrible, he isn't menacing, he's more campy and pathetic. The dance and song numbers are just flat, there is zero creativity except for the costume department. The camera work is basic, there is zero attempt to add flair and pace and fun into these dance numbers, hell even The Greatest Showman had flair and style.
Guy Ritchie is lazy. He injects nothing into the film in terms of style or making the film standout from others like it. It's just paint by the numbers, let's get from A to B filmmaking.
There is no tension, the comedy is so painful at one point I felt I had an aneurysm, and I blame that on the scene involving a hugely elongated joke about jam jars. The stars have no chemistry, the romance feels fake, and what hit me the most about this film, and just like the majority of these live action remakes, is that I'm always aware about how artificial these movies are. I'm aware everything is green screen, I'm aware that there is nothing remotely real or believable in these flicks. A movie should immerse you and make you forget about what went into it, only after should you admire how technically accomplished a film may be, but these Disney remakes are artificial and without a heart. God I'm dreading The Lion King now...