Too much for this cantankerously chauvinist Westerner

Rating: 4/10 (19 June 2019)

As Guy Ritchie's ALADDIN arrived in theaters, there was a great hullabaloo raised by the so-called "SJW's" (social justice warriors) over whether the live-action remake would be sufficiently politically correct. With the movie set to be light-years more "authentic" than its predecessor, one would think they would have been grateful. But what they were promised seemingly wasn't enough for them.
But with what they ended up getting, they needn't have worried. ALADDIN is quite possibly the most "woke" Disney fairy tale you'll ever see.
To start with the obvious, the significance of the casting is impossible to miss. With the exception of Will Smith (who does get top billing, even though this is ultimately not his story), pretty much the entire cast is of Middle Eastern, North African, or South Asian extraction. The main characters do speak in American accents for the most part, but otherwise this is a show that is (with one ironic difference) thoroughly non-Western, and in some ways even anti-Western. There is only one character of European (or, given the mythological setting of Agrabah, pseudo-European) descent seen throughout the entire movie, and he is not only marginalized but made to appear a buffoon - and, to add insult to injury, he isn't even funny.
But the "socially relevant" changes do not end at the cosmetic level. There are the small things, such as the "sensitized" song lyrics (Agrabah is no longer "barbaric," and Prince Ali no longer owns slaves), but the more fundamental alterations have been to the plot itself. Believe it or not, ALADDIN is now primarily a political thriller in which Agrabah's national security is at stake. The evil vizier Jafar is now not only greedy and power-hungry, but a visionary in foreign policy. And, as it turns out, the kingdom's most worthy head of state proves to be...Princess Jasmine.
Yes, that's right. In fact, as events play out, Jasmine becomes the sultan! Disney might as well have titled this version JASMINE and called it a day. Though it makes sense that Aladdin, who can claim no experience in statecraft (not having been a real prince, you know), would not have made a good sultan himself, the denial of the throne to the person who logically would be the (male) sultan's successor still seems vaguely like a humiliation. Certainly, it's Aladdin who brings Jafar's ultimate defeat, and Jasmine is indeed reduced to a damsel-in-distress courtesy of Jafar's black magic, but that's really only for the sake of form. The irony of this big change, of course, is that in simultaneously trying to make the story more sexually egalitarian AND more respectful to Arab culture (among other nods, they recognize Friday rather than Sunday as the Islamic holy day, correcting a blunder made by the 1992 animated version), Disney has done a disservice to the latter by rendering the tale more Western - which is, to say, progressive. Sometimes you just can't have it both ways.
Don't get me wrong. I adored the movie's visuals, the delightful music, and Will Smith's brave attempt to match Robin Williams's cosmic level of charisma. But for all that, there was a chagrined spirit inside of me that wanted to yell: "No, Jasmine, you do not get the throne! You're not a man! JAFAR deserves to be sultan more than you!"
Let's just say this movie will make you feel so "woke," you will probably never sleep again. Jeez Louise. For all my hatred of Trump, this sociological debacle is almost enough to turn me conservative again.