The Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band of the new Millennium

Rating: 1/10 (25 November 2009)

This is possibly one of the worst films I've ever seen.
First, let me make this perfectly clear. I absolute love the Beatles. They're one of my favorite bands of all time. I'm also a huge movie buff. Now granted that I'm not an actor, nor do I have any ambition of being one, but I'd like to think that I can tell when an acting job is phoned in or when a script is bad, or in the case of this pile of s--t, non-existent.
There absolutely is no plot! To me it seems that the writers just threw random Beatles songs and references at the wall and just picked the first thing that stuck. "Ok, a guy named Jude, meets a girl named Lucy, and it's the 60's during a revolution, and Jojo was a man whose guitar gently weeps, and there's this girl named Sadie who's sexy, and she made a fool of everyone..." It's absolutely stupid! The fact that the Beatles or their widows approved of this, not just once but twice, is also a travesty in and of itself.
Another huge problem I have with this movie is the gratuitous use of Auto-Tune. If you're up on music production techniques, or at least have a good ear for music, you will be able to tell that the singing voices sound a bit robotic and stiff. Well, that's because not one actor in this movie can really sing. Like all of the other stupid pop stars of today, instead of having talent, like say... The Beatles, they just rely on pitch correction.
Also, the singing voice of Sadie is so grating. If they were somehow trying to make that character similar to Janis Joplin, they've failed completely, and have single-handedly ruined any chance of a woman singer with a raspy voice to have a career ever again.
And the cameos... Oh god. Everybody who appeared in this film whom I actually like have gone down a notch because of their appearance in this film. Eddie Izzard, whose stand up I thoroughly enjoy, was especially annoying. The random smattering of 60's cliché phrases and sayings into "Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite" was executed terribly. I mean I guess it was meant to be the "acid trip" sequence or something of that nature, but taking hallucinogenic drugs is more than just saying "Turn On, Tune In, & Drop Out" over and over and over again. And Joe Cocker, Bono, and Salma Hayek... WHY?????? How could you have ever thought that this was going to be a good film? Didn't we already learn from the cinematic and critical failure that was "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"? At least the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton are all men enough to disown the film. I haven't seen one person do so for this film, and in my humble opinion, this film makes the "Sgt. Pepper" film look like "Gone With The Wind".
And I've had enough with people telling me that I didn't "get it". What is there to get? There is nothing in this film in the way of subtlety or substance. There are no universal truths that I have learned from watching "Sgt. Pepper" or "Across The Universe". People who believe that there is anything to be gained from watching this travesty have incredibly overactive imaginations. This film, just like the "Sgt. Pepper" film, is nothing more than some hacks trying to make a quick buck off of the Beatles' legacy.
If you truly love the Beatles, don't see this film. Instead, if you want something 'new' from The Beatles, go out and buy the new mono and stereo remastered albums. You will find truth in the actual Beatles recordings, not from a movie full of half-hearted rehashings of their songs sung by untalented actors. Also, this film has zero re-watch potential, unlike The Beatles recordings, which will give you a whole lifetime of enjoyment.