Please don't call this BEATLES

Rating: 1/10 (23 November 2008)

First off let me relate a story that will demonstrate my clear bias to this film going in  My wife had bought the CD based on some review that she had read or on some one's recommendation, it doesn't matter which. She played it for me in the car one night. Before it got to the third song I pulled it out of the deck and tossed it. The music was so bad it was insulting. I couldn't believe that anyone could possibly consider these bastardized renditions of some of the Beatles' greatest songs as music fitting to listen to other tan corporate CEOs who only cared about how much money they might bring in with sales.
Now, if you had to rank this film against others of its nature, say, Hair or Jesus Christ Superstar, from that era, then, you'd have to rank it 5 stars. The movie accomplishes what it attempted to do with each song matched to entertaining visuals, though more often than not the songs' content don't match to the lyrics or to what the Beatles were saying or living at the time they wrote and performed them.
But the fact is this film should be rated a negative star or two. This film wasn't made in that era, it isn't that era, it is today, here and now.
Fast forward to the future, some time into the present. I was preparing to do my wash as a good documentary (Shut Up and Sing  the story of the Dixie Chicks controversy  no I am not a fan, but the film was good documentary coverage of what they went thru) had just ended. I took a quick scan of what was next offered on the movie channels that I subscribe to and saw this film's write up, thinking, a movie revolving around Beatles' songs, how bad can it be, besides, I'd be in and out of the room doing the laundry, so if I missed any of it, at least the songs would help me pass the time. How wrong I could have been never crossed my mind. Unfortunately I didn't put the CD and movie in the same context until I was well into the film.
Just to set the record straight  I stopped paying attention to this film before it was halfway through  I only wish I had a fast forward function on my set as I would have liberally used it during the time I was watching the film. I also want to state that I did not turn the film off, I did not walk out, I just tuned out.
Given there are well over 400 reviews in this Amazon posting I didn't read them all, though I did my best to read as many of the negative ones as possible, once again, showing my bias. I started by reading the positives and found that they were basically all along the same lines, praising the greatness of the artists, the director, the visuals, and the accomplishments of all of their visions. I guess they were the same people that Mama Mia was created for.
About all I could add to the line of positive thoughts about Across the Universe is that the film did its best to follow thru with an exploration of that era's look, feel, and philosophies, while attempting to include all sorts of events and music innovations (was that woman supposed to Janis and her boyfriend Hendrix), although, those were bastardized as well, ala Woody Allen's Zelig style, and later Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump.
Maybe I'm thinking of Across the Universe was a mutation birthed by a copulation of THE FILMS Hair and Godspell.
If you want to see a movie with Beatles' songs in it see Hard Day's Night, see HELP, even go see Yellow Submarine (not one of my favorites though great music) but whatever you do, don't see Across the Universe and then walk around telling people you just saw a great Beatles film because all you saw was this bad piece of crappy celluloid. If you want to hear great Beatles' songs, listen to the Beatles. Listen to any one of their songs, song by them, and then compare it to the songs in this film. If you think these were as good, came even close, or were actually better, then . . . you, my friend, are just a fool without a hill.
Note: I'm not a fan of the films Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band and Tommy (OK, not a Beatles' film but all of these films are of the same mindset, look and feel), but this ain't no Tommy, it ain't no SPLHCB (though I guess that was what they were thinking), and it ain't a decent attempt at properly portraying the Beatles' songs.
PS: I find it extremely unfortunate that the writer, director, and producers felt they needed to coop the aspects of British music history (the way they used the Beatles' final roof concert as a plot dressing in the closing of this film turned my stomach) that they did in this film and morph them into some sort of American bastardization of life seen thru American eyes during that era. But I guess that was what this movie was all about, morphing life into their desire to make money. Am I wrong or did this movie only last 3 weeks in theaters?