Four Score and several vamp-outs ago...

Rating: 7/10 (8 July 2012)

When you think of funny movie titles, they're really very clever. One of the main pitches to see a movie is the title, sort of like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. When I first heard of this movie, I got a good chuckle out of that title. My fiancé and I started talking about the sequels: JFK: Zombie Killer, FDR: Witch Slayer, Thomas Jefferson: Werewolf Killer, etc. But I couldn't resist, I had to see what this movie. I'm not sure what inspired this story, I guess Lincoln just didn't make as big a splash as most presidents. I mean he only freed the slaves, is on our American five dollar bill, made it through the civil war and was assassinated, nothing that big. So we had to add another occupation to his resume and what better occupation than what's the hottest trend right now: vampire hunter! You get what you ask for when you see this movie and that's why I'm happy.
In 1818, Abraham Lincoln lives in Indiana with his parents, who works at a plantation owned by Jack Barts. There, Lincoln befriends a young African American boy, William Johnson, and intervenes when he sees Johnson being beaten by a slaver. Because of his son's actions, Thomas is fired. That night, Lincoln sees Barts break into his house and attack Nancy. She falls ill the following day, and dies shortly afterwards. Nine years later, Lincoln decides to get revenge against Barts. He attacks Barts at the docks, but Barts, who is actually a vampire, overpowers him. However, before Barts can kill him, Lincoln is rescued by Henry Sturgess. Sturgess explains that vampires exist, and offers to teach Lincoln to be a vampire hunter. Lincoln accepts and, after a decade of training, travels to Springfield, Illinois. Determined for revenge, he realizes that he may have discovered more than he would want to know while the country goes into civil war and that the vampires have deeper motives rather than just slavery.
I love history very much, my head is like a sponge that just loves to take information in and I love to study everything about history. So I've seen pictures of Lincoln and his wife Mary, both very good people, but not exactly the lookers of the day. Benjamin Walker, who plays Lincoln and people are calling the young Liam Neeson, does a great job of playing the part but doesn't really look like Lincoln, though he is the closest ironically. But the performance is what makes him memorable. Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays Mary, his wife, she's thin, gorgeous and complete opposite of who Mary was, but still does very well. Now this film is by no means for historical context, I just thought it was funny in the looks department that they pick models to play the average looking people. The action is great and a lot of scenes are very intense and scary. The make up effects for the vampires were great and very intimidating. Everything about this film is really silly when you think in the historical context, but if you just let go, it's honestly fun. Plus, in some sick way, I think this would've been cool if Lincoln was really this bad-ass. He's the original Blade and can really hold himself well against the evil gang of vampire slave owners. You get what you expect and I don't know what else to say for those who are complaining that this movie is too stupid or not historically accurate, it's just a movie. The title explains all, the story is good and the actors had great chemistry and made it work. I'm looking forward to seeing it again, it was a fun horror movie with a good historical twist.
7/10