Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter swings his axe and just about beheads the competition.

Rating: 5/10 (5 January 2019)

Remember when one of America's most famous presidents was also slaying vampires as a hobby? No? Well now you do. When we receive a title such as Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, instantly your mind thinks the worst. The implausibilities and historical inaccuracies (despite being completely fictional) would be enough to send historians into frenzy. But actually, and I would never lie to you, it's pretty damn good fun. At a young age, Lincoln witnesses the death of his mother by the fangs of a vampire. Fraught with vengeance, he soon becomes a vampire hunter. If you've seen any vampire film ever (sure, include 'Twilight'), then you know what you are getting yourself involved with. It doesn't stray away from the typical formula, which in itself does lead to several moments of sluggish monotony and instant predictably. But there is a style. A style comprised of slow-motion axe-swinging blood-swishing action, that just makes the whole damn film entertainingly watchable. Sure, it takes itself incredibly seriously and integrates several key moments of American history with vampiric fictionalisation (particularly the battle of Gettysburg), to a point where the absence of self-awareness is missed and could've made Lincoln's life satirically hilarious. Still, I didn't hate any of it. Walker's role as Lincoln isn't exactly Daniel Day-Lewis, yet he gets the job done with an assured performance. However the main appeal is the stylistic violence that is practically the essence of the narrative. Vampires hijacking a train packed with silver where Lincoln is running atop the carriages, swinging his lumbering axe (no innuendo) in slow-motion. Pure. Disposable. Entertainment. The 3D gimmicky visual effects aren't exactly welcomed either, but it's not too much of a deterrent. The final minute was stupid though, I hate it when cheap films end on a meaningless one liner. Overall, a light, rapidly paced plot with good performances and stylistic action made for simple, mindless entertainment.