Not as infuriating as Wanted, but still pretty bad.

Rating: 3/10 (16 October 2012)

I had low, and I mean LOW expectations for this movie. Not because of any reviews, but because this movie is directed by Timur Bekmambetov, who's last movie "Wanted," infuriated me to my core and is currently my least favorite movie of all time. Now the idea for this movie, seemed like it could be a fun, action, guilty pleasure type of flick along with something like Transformers, but man this movie was annoying. Like I said, I went in with, well, absolutely no positive expectations, and it's a good thing too. Well this movie was bad, it didn't tick me off like "Wanted" did. Oh this is currently the worst movie I've seen so far this year, but it was mostly because the film was annoying and boring.
Here's the thing, I can't stand Timur Bekmambetov's style of direction, it annoys the crap out of me. Basically, he films all his action scenes the same way. He starts off in some slow motion, and then speeds it up for a quick second and then goes normal after the cool part has happened. This can be used very well if it is done right, but Bekmambetov just does it so frequently that it becomes annoying. He also adds so much CGI, and it all looks incredibly fake. Just like the bullets in Wanted, everything in here, including the Vampires were very cheap looking. And most of the time, I couldn't even tell what was going on in the fight scenes. The characters are forgettable, there is one character I liked, and I'll get to him later. Benjamin Walker and Mary Elizabeth Winstead have no chemistry and just come off as bland. It's very inconsistent, the (Spoilers) Vampires have the power to turn invisible. How? Never explained. But if they can turn invisible, and they know that Lincoln is president, so why don't they just turn invisible, sneak into the white house and bite him. Also, I thought Vampires couldn't have they're pictures taken, yet they have dozens of pictures of one taking off his glasses. I'm no history nut, so I don't know how well this fits into history. But I did do a little research and found out that Lincoln had four sons, and only one was in the film. Granted one died like 10 years before the civil war, but wouldn't it be nice to acknowledge the rest of them besides William. And finally it's just a bore. It's not the most boring film I've seen all year, but basically, why am I watching this? To see Abraham Lincoln kill Vampires, and do I get that? Well through half the movie we follow young Lincoln, who I couldn't care less about. Then we get to the Lincoln we all recognize with the beard and hat, but for most of the second half he doesn't do anything interesting, he just sort of stands around and tries to figure out how to win the war. This might be good in a documentary of Lincoln, or a biography, but in a movie called Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, I want to see Lincoln killing Vampires. And the movie takes itself way too seriously. Yes, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is played straight. What part of that title makes it sound like it was meant to be played straight? The only time Lincoln, the one we recognize, fights is in the last half hour, and even then, his friend does most of the work.
Speaking of which, William Johnson is the one character in this movie I cared about. He's played by Anthonly Mackie, who ironically played the only character I cared about in the Hurt Locker as well. He actually has some pretty cool moments, and I actually felt sorry for him a few times. In terms of production value it is a pretty good looking film. The costumes, make up and sets all do look pretty nice. And I will give Bekmambetov this, he can really shoot one hell of a train crash. The train crash in this, and in Wanted were both the best parts of the movie. And to this movie's credit they saved that part for the end and not in the middle.
Overall this movie wasn't as quite as infuriating as I thought it would be. But that doesn't mean it's good. Like with Wanted, I would forgive this movie if it were entertaining, but it really isn't, it's a bore. As bad as Wanted was, it at least gave you what it promised, it was bad, but it did give you plenty of action. I don't hate Timur Bekmambetov as a person, I don't know him personally. But his style annoys the hell out of me. But to be fair he isn't the only one at fault here, the moronic writers who played this movie straight deserve an equal part of the blame.
2.5/10