A Walk through the Spiritual Woods sans Bill Bryson

Rating: 5/10 (24 March 2007)

Is love an instantaneous combustion? Can two nobodies, living at opposite ends of the social Earth, suddenly fall in love, change their lives, and live a happy co-existence together (well, not forever in this movie  but you get my drift)? This is the question that I tackled while watching another cookie be cut from the Hollywood bakery  this time it was called "A Walk to Remember". An adaptation of Nicholas Sparks' novel by the same name, it focuses on the fairy tale blossom of love between quintessential bad boy Landon Carter (played dramatically by Shane West) and bible-thumping, dust in the wind, cliché bookworm Jamie Sullivan (played by first timer Mandy Moore). As always, we begin with Landon's hijinks, followed by consequences which bring Jamie and him together. Sparks fly? Hardly, but they continue to encounter each other, each imposing their lives into one another, and finally  through Hollywood magic fall in love. What happens in the following acts is classic Sparks as tears begin to play a pivotal element in the closing moments. As I mentioned in my review for "The Notebook", one cannot help but wonder if the Kleenex corporation doesn't keep Mr. Sparks, or these films, on retainer.
I do not mean to be so harsh with my opening, but one needs to realize that this film, to me, felt stale. I, as well as anyone that has ever watched a full length film, have seen all of these elements before. With "A Walk to Remember", I was not impressed or surprised. Perhaps a bit jaded knowing what would happen before it did due largely in part to whispers by huge fans of this film, but I walked away from this as I had with other Shankman films. There could have been potential, but instead it suffered from Hollywood similarities, which ultimately left me with quite a bit of Hollywood boredom. Gasp! Did he say that? Yep, I was bored with this film. The lack of humor, the randomness of chance, and the simplicity of the plot left me wanting, desiring, desperately waiting for something imaginative, creative, or unique to happen. Alas, nothing  I repeat  nothing of the sort occurred. From the cliché play, to the reuniting of family, to the forced tear-jerker of an ending, "A Walk to Remember" proved yet again that one could make film cookies out of the same, overused batch of cookie dough time and time again while consumers will still stumble across the counter to grab. Why is this? Was it the hunky-ness of Shane West, who did provide with at least a glimmer of acting ability (though his tear scenes were hysterical at best)? Was it that we were hoping for something from Mandy Moore, who only proved that speaking in a small voice and wearing pasty make-up will make audiences cry? Personally, I believe the hype surrounding this film arrives from the name Spark, Nicholas Sparks. It was his name that carried this film, and I cannot say that the new translation fit his story well enough to matter.
As I watched this film, it was the secondary characters that really attracted my attention. Daryl Hannah must have just signed for this "gig" mainly for the paycheck, as she looked especially man-ish in her role. I was a bit startled when I saw her at first, then transformed into confusion as I tried to figure out what sort of mother-role she was attempting. The same can be said for Jamie's father, whom in my eyes, carried this film. I wanted more dynamic between her and him, their differences and their personal loss  as only you could find in Sparks' story. He fit the mold of what this film represented. He was a father  one that nearly anyone could relate to. There was Landon's friends, which played out like a horrid 80s film completely filled with sucker punches, unfunny jokes, and that snobbish "popular" behavior that seems to drench any teen film head to toe. How did Al Thompson get all the jokes for the film ... could anyone else be any funnier? While I appreciated the levity he brought, there wasn't much to the film to make one feel sad. I say this not because of what happened in the final act, but because there wasn't enough emotion brought to the characters for me to be compelled enough to let my tear ducts express themselves.
Overall, I cannot suggest this film to anyone except small teens that are not allowed to go to PG-13 films yet. Throughout the commentary (which, subsequently, only addresses the childish nature of the film), Shankman et crew discuss how this was about to be a PG-13 film, but had to be cut  language and nudity  to appeal to a larger audience as well ensure that the religious sect would not abolish this film. Again, I would like to point out that the makers of this piece of cinema do not consider this a "religious" film, but instead, a film about faith. I didn't see that. Faith was important to Jamie, but as the film closed, that wasn't the topic of thought. Instead, the question of combustible relationships came to mind. I will have to ask you to pass on this film, unless you are in middle school and have never seen a movie before in your life.
Don't let your faith flame get too close to this combustible relationship -- "A Walk to Remember" could be the result.
Grade: ** out of *****