so many sins

Rating: 2/10 (3 December 2018)

Sins:
1. Newspaper says, "It's sound!" So they figured out killer creatures attack every sound and promptly ran very loud newspaper presses to announce it. And loud delivery trucks.
2. This family has survived when hardly anyone else has, so obviously they know how to stay quiet and know how important it is. Bare feet. Sign language. Path of sand. So there's no way the kid is going to sound off a loud toy. There's no way he's not going to know it's a huge mistake. There's no way he's not going to be terrified of loud noises. There's no way if something in his hands starts making loud noises that he's not going to throw it away from himself.
3. Power. Hmmm. Who's running the loud power plants? Who's doing the noisy work of maintaining the grid? Or did survivors invent perfectly silent generators?
4. Newspaper says, "THEY CAN HEAR YOU". Duh. Is this happening in a parallel universe where people typically assume creatures can't hear? Isn't the relevant fact: "ALIENS BLIND"?
5. Ok, so... Talking in anything about the barest whisper: No. Moving regular hard pieces around a Monopoly board: No. But walking down a flight of creaky steps: Yes?
6. Let me get this straight. They're setting up an old, creaky, above ground, non-barricaded house to have a baby in? Having a loud, crying, screeching baby is crazy enough, but if they're going to do it wouldn't they set up in a fortified, underground bunker of some kind?
7. Zzzzzzzzz..... jesus this is slow.
8. Jump scare! Wheh! Something happened.
9. You know what this needs? More sign language instead of dialog.
10. Zzzzzzzzzz
11. The tension between daughter and father might be interesting if we had any clue what it was about.
12. The creek is making noise. Why aren't the creatures attacking it?
13. Learning more now. If you make a noise, then wait in that exact spot for a while, a creature will come and attack you. And if make a noise and then take three steps to the side?
14. They just leave the doors open? How did the creature silently enter?
15. So the creatures can hear low talking from a long way away, but if they're in the same house as you they can't even hear loud breathing?
16. And the house doesn't have a bunch of safe rooms?
17. All that fancy equipment, but they have nothing rigged up to attract the creatures away from the house with loud noises at the flip of a switch?
18. Got the answer: Yes, they just leave the doors open.
19. Wow. Fast labor! Was that 30 minutes from water breaking to birth? Amazing.
20. And to keep the creatures out of the basement... a small mattress covering a big hole in the floor! Brilliant! Won't the alien be surprised when it walks across that!
21. A blind creature with no heightened sense of smell. Interesting.
22. Day 485. "Promise me. You will protect them." Ummm... what? Fathers protect their children generally. Apparently this father has been doing it for 485 days, and probably long before that. I'm starting to prefer the sign language to the dialog. The dialog is retarded.
23. Lol. Another jump scare. Kid suddenly grabs sister from under a tractor. Is he trying to make her scream?
24. Wait, what...? Is she dreaming? Suddenly there's two feet of water in the basement safe room from a faucet left on. And there's a alien swimming underwater in it. And the first thing she does with the alien a few feet away from her is make noise entering the water. Who took the lid off the baby box and oxygen mask off the baby? The mother or the alien?
25. "They're smart. They'll find a safe place." So when he goes looking for these smart kids in their safe places, the first place he looks is in the cornfield?
26. Ah, the safe place was not the cornfield. It was the top of a grain silo where if you step in the wrong spot you fall in and suffocate under the grain.
27. Ok, so this family survived while most everyone else is dead. So... everyone else is even more stupid than this family?
28. Fun fact. Humans sink in grain. Aliens do not.
29. Fun fact 2. Walking in shoes: too loud. Running barefoot: a-okay! Jumping 20 feet to the ground: a-okay!
30. Where the hell is the gun?! Why did he only have it for that one short scene?
31. The alien can soundlessly tear a huge hole through the side of a steel grain silo in a second. But the roof of a pickup truck? The alien struggles with that one. Ford tough.
32. Man does whatever it takes to survive 485 days. But when he needs a noise to distract an alien away from his kids, what does he do? Screams, stands in place, and waits to be killed. Doesn't throw something. Doesn't run. Doesn't swing his axe. Uh huh.
33. Sound of truck rolling down hill doesn't attract nearby aliens who have been attacking every other sound. Okay.
34. Close the damn doors you morons!
35. Maybe the device that drives aliens away would work just as well without painfully wearing it against your head. Moron.
36. Alien plays dead.
37. "Indestructible" alien killed by one bullet.
38. Final showdown cut. Time at waterfall included. Time dancing included. Time shopping included. Final showdown cut.