Jim and Pam open a B&B on Schrute Farms.

Rating: 6/10 (14 January 2019)

So, Jim and Pam have moved to Schrute farms and turned it into a 'Farm to Table' style B&B full of pickled vegetables. Its quaint AF. Their daughter is like a young Susan Boyle with a hearing disability. The have another kid(s) but don't worry about them they suck and are pretty much not helpful.
Oh yeah, there's dinosaurs running around outside with enormous elbows and their entire head is like a big ear. So when these monster things hear something they run over and cut its guts out. And we are just supposed to accept that. Not clear if the ear/elbow monsters are eating people or just killing them.
Its like these monsters killed everybody, but nobody is armed or has weapons. Instead Jim and Pam walk around barefoot on sand and expect that to work out. Its safe near the river due to the sound masking but Jim refuses to move there and I can only assume that's because he likes pickled vegetables, eating off of leaves and generally being quaint AF.
Jim has a stupid white board listing the obvious characteristics of the CREATURE: blind, attack sound and armor maybe 3 of them. Jim needed to write that down... After all hes a paper salesman turned pickled vegetable farmer. The whiteboard also list a profound way of survival: medical supplies and sound proofing. No plan of beating the monsters, just how to live with them like a bunch of losers.
Elements of the holiday classic Home Alone appear in this masterpiece. Pam's laundry pulls up a nail in the staircase leading to the basement. If you know anything, you don't hammer in a nail up through a stair for no good reason. So, Pam steps on the nail like Harry in Home Alone and it really has no impact on the movie because hes also trying to hold back birthing a baby like a prairie-doggin' turd while a super-sonic hearing elbow monster that kinda looks like Venom is running around the B&B. Around this time there's a mysterious flood in the B&B that I can only assume was the calling card of the Wet Bandits.
You could totally trap one of these dinosaurs by putting something noisy in a cage, but no Jim and Pam just decide to pickle vegetables on Schrute Farms.