A Braindead place with a braindead family making braindead decisions

Rating: 1/10 (27 May 2018)

Stupid beyond belief.
Be very quiet (not to tell anyone you paid to see this crap) or be very stupid if you want to spend your money to go see this crap... or at least make sure you get paid by the studio like imdb's reviewers apparently do.
Even the slightest sound will kill you so what would more sense than go scalping for food with a 5-year old? The answer here seems to be to make sure not to have a care in the world what the toddler is up to.
Later on I the movie after Disaster Dad and Family have gotten the 5-year old killed, Disaster Mom and Dad decides to bring another newborn into the world... we never see this scene but it might have worked with a John Cleese cameo: "No sound, please. We're British."
And then there's the transformation: Disaster Mom turns out to be everybody's favorite superheroine Miracle Mum. A big nail up your foot while about to give birth and being chased by a monster... not a sound, of course, and the birth giving is also done in complete silence, naturally!
I say, anyone for tennis?
In case you didn't notice it the first time around and if you should ever find yourself in a situation where you have to re-watch this movie, like in Hell's Waiting Room, notice how the monster - as it waddles down the stairs - is making more sound than Donald Duck singing Jingle Bells on a Christmas Morning without it affecting it in the slightest. It's a cool power to have, that... immune to one's own sound.
Somewhere along the movie, probably in the middle around the 4 hour mark, I started thinking, if only they could find a nice place by a river where there would be plenty of fish and natural sounds, preferably near a waterfall that could muffle all human sounds...
Dear God, it was so bad on so many levels... How about the writing on the wall. Q: "What is its weakness?" A: "Sound." Funny, that.
Still, not zero but one star for being slightly under 9 hours long (it didn't feel like a minute more, at least not to me).