Overbaked and overrated

Rating: 4/10 (10 June 2007)

The fact that this film is still held in such high regard is surely one of the greatest mysteries in cinema.
For the record, I love the book. It would be easy, then, to dismiss my disliking of the film as being no more than that I preferred my own vision of the story upon reading it. Alas, my reasons for not liking the film go far beyond this.
Firstly, and perhaps most significantly, I do not like Malcolm McDowell's reading of Alex at all. I find him tacky, annoying and not in the least fearsome. To be fair, Burgess wrote the infuriatingly tacky lingo that Alex uses in his relentless narration throughout the film, but I don't remember him describing Alex as an annoying, whiney Northerner.
It is not just the performance of Alex's character that misses the mark for me. Almost everyone in the film seems to think they're in an episode of Monty Python. Yes, I know it's meant to be satirical, but it's more parodical than anything. We're not laughing with it, we're laughing at it. You could be forgiven for assuming that every actor here thinks they're in a stage production and that we won't understand their character unless they shout and overact their way through each scene.
The production design is possibly an even greater crime. Rather than looking futuristic, the whole film looks so stuck in the '60s that I can't help but be completely detached from the action. The colour is overwhelming and the lighting only serves to enhance the feeling that this is a cheap TV movie, not a "classic" Warner production.
Don't even get me started about the cheesy, electronic renderings of Beethoven that plague almost every scene. What on earth were they thinking? Surely they knew that by using "state-of-the-art" synthesisers they were condemning the film to being out of date within five years. To begin with the music is mildly amusing. Soon it becomes tedious. Then downright annoying, like everything else in the film.
Quite simply, I just cannot take this film seriously. It has no impact whatsoever. Part of the film's longevity in the minds of moviegoers is said to be the controversy and the powerful, disturbing tone of the movie. Frankly, I found Bambi more disturbing, and a damn sight less tedious.
On that note, let me not forget how long, slow paced and drawn out every single scene is. By the 90 minute mark the film has gone past boring into something completely new. Needless to say, when the film finally ends, you'll find yourself struggling to resist the urge to follow Alex in jumping straight out the nearest window.