Bloated Junk

Rating: 2/10 (6 April 2012)

We can easily imagine the thinking of Joseph E. Levine as he decided to plunk down $25 million for this project in the mid-'70s (serious money in those days): "I'll re-make 'The Longest Day.' I'll base the thing on a Cornelius Ryan book, I'll use an all-star cast, and I"ll become Darryl F. Zanuck." Too bad he picked Dickie Attenborough to direct, the man who has no sense whatsoever of crisp pacing, the man who never met stentorian music that he wouldn't over-use, the man whose photograph can be found in any good dictionary next to "lugubrious." Attenborough manages to suck every iota of momentum out of this story; his work here is one of the truly awesome spectacles in the history of bad directing. Just in case you get roped into watching this bloated piece of junk you can perhaps amuse yourself by laughing at the terrible performances (memo to Ryan O'Neal - generals during the Second World War did not strut like '70s L.A. beach studs) and nodding your head at the three or four not-half-bad performances. Michael Caine. Sean Connery. James Caan - his work here is way too mannered but intensely charismatic; one can see in that massive and rugged face why he was thought of for a while as the next Brando. Too bad he messed up his career. Too bad Attenborough messed up one of the epic stories of the Second World War.