"I'm fingering my head and talking like Clinton! Gis an oscar!"

Rating: Null/10 (28 June 2002)

You see a great film.You go off reeling with how dark and cruel and true it was, or the way the set made it look like you could step iinto the screen,or that bit that was so funny you splurted popcorn all over the row in front,or how cool,or better-than-oscar,or sexy,one of the actors was. You see a crap film.You go off reeling with how stupid the end was,or how funny that line was that wasn't meant to be funny, or how disgusting it was when you could see her implant scars. You feel SOMETHING.Usually. But A Beautiful Mind was the most BLAND piece of...er...film since someone dropped a camcorder in their Reddybrek.A film about minds,maths and love with no brain,content or heart.There was no feeling in the direction, and, due to the performances,no reason to add your own. I like Russel Crowe.I'd barely hit puberty when I saw L.A Confidential, and I still remember how scary and hopeless he was.But this job is a horse of a different colour.It's self conscious,calculated down to the last trudging step and head-finger.It's GREEDY. It's not possible to tell from this movie whether Jennifer Conelly can act or not.I bet she can, but they could've given her something to act with.The only actors who made me sit up were Paul Bettany as Nash's total-opposite,randy roommate and Ed Harris as the quiet,murderous FBI man, and they didn't even SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT NEE NA NEE NA bloody exist,and so didn't have much to do outside of John Forbes Nash Jr's beautiful brain SPOILER OVER SPOILER OVER RETURN TO YOUR HOMES AND PLACES OF BUSINESS. Of the 4 other girls I saw this with-beautiful intelligent teenagers- 3 came out of the room dripping all over the nice red carpet.And the other one had enjoyed it, so I'm the odd one out in every damn respect.And I think I'm in a bit of a minority here too.Some people believe.Some people puke. It's the same with love I guess.