Being the New Kid, Affiliations, and Spaghetti Sauce

Rating: 7/10 (3 December 2002)

8 Mile is the sleazy, urban remake of The Karate Kid. Eminem plays the Daniel character, the "new" kid who has been poking around where the more popular kids hang. He's got talent, but can he show this talent to the other kids (rappers)? There's the girlfriend who has affiliations with both Daniel, I mean Eminem, and the bad kids. I use the word "affiliations" VERY loosely here (pun unintended). There's the struggling mom who loves her kid but cannot provide the crucial life lessons Daniel/Eminem needs, so we have Miyagi (Phifer), the wise teacher/counselor/companion. But there's no Karate in 8 Mile. Just rap. So "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," right? Not so. There are some hurtful things being said here. Hurtful rap. And to add insult to injury--or rather injury to insult--there are young guys with guns out waiting in the street outside the "Hall of Rap" who seem quite willing to pop caps into people. Johnny and his Cobra gang from the Karate film seem like real pansies next to these hooligans. At least Eminem didn't get spaghetti sauce all over a perfectly good outfit at the club, though! Talk about hurt. So in the sequel to 8 Mile, Eminem will get the you-know-what kicked out of him by Johnny and his Cobra cronies (many now with illegitimate kids, beer bellies, and memories of "the old days"). A flop, you say? Guaranteed.