Utterly and completely painful

Rating: Null/10 (21 August 2002)

My older sister was part of the 54 crowd and after seeing the movie, she looked at me and shook her head silently, her mouth turned down into a look of disgust. She asked me if the director had ever even been there. I had seen an interview on MTV with him where he said he hadn't ever been and I think that's where the problem lies with this movie. I rented this one on VHS and afterwards, I couldn't help feeling like this was given to the wrong guy to direct. No offense to anyone but the movie was obviously directed by a gay guy who was more interested in filming how hot the men looked than in the actual club itself. I don't mind seeing that kind of stuff in movies but in this one it just seemed like the focus was mainly set on that aspect of the era and I felt that not enough attention was being paid to the myth of the club. As you may or may not know, Studio 54 was a legend in it's own time. There was a lot more that could have been done with this movie, other than release this hack product. This could have been an epic masterpiece, not an undernourished crock. Come on, how could this movie clock in at just above an hour and a half? This could have easily been an entertaining three hour movie that would have covered the rise and fall of this famous nightspot in rich detail. It seems that no one else involved with the movie thought so because the movie seems preoccupied with meaningless accuracies and weak characters. This movie just could have been something special. Hell, Boogie Nights got it right. They should have let Paul Thomas Anderson do this one, he probably would've turned something out that would've been watchable. Maybe it wasn't the director's fault, maybe it was the work of meddling producers that caused this film to explode but I can honestly say that just from the endless stories my sis had told me of 54, they got this one all wrong. Maybe we'll see another 54 film in the future but after this crockery, I doubt anyone will get excited about it with the taste of this one still lingering. The acting by nearly all of the principals is horrendous. I like Ryan Philiipe actually but not here. Way of the Gun was more like it. Neve Campbell seems to have exhausted her bag of tricks because I thought she was still playing Sydney from Scream. The only positive thing I can possibly say is that the movie has a great soundtrack, even though it could've used a couple more tracks that 54 was known to play regularly. It's a little run-of-the-mill but contains a couple of the essentials. And lastly, Mike Myers delivers a knockout performance that hints at what this movie could have been if it had been done properly. He's the only one that walks out of this one unscathed. Everyone else, head to the showers and take a bath cause you stink! I didn't even rewind the tape when I brought it back to the video store that's how disgusted I was! I will never watch this horse pucky again. Unless, I wish to inflict further trauma on my already damaged brain. And I'll say it again, with the exception of Mike Myers, if you were involved in any way with the making of this film, take a bath cause you stink! Rating: * out of ***** (and that's ONLY because of Mike Myers)