This Ain't No Party, This Ain't No Disco, This Ain't No Fooling Around

Rating: 5/10 (18 January 2010)

Beautiful teenager Ryan Phillippe (as Shane O'Shea) is tired of cruising New Jersey with his plain boyfriends, and aches to go to Manhattan's famous "Studio 54" disco. There, he hopes to meet his idol, soap opera star Neve Campbell (as Julie Black). Taking off his shirt for "54" manager Mike Myers (as Steve Rubell) helps Mr. Phillippe gain admittance to the club. Working in his gym shorts gets Phillippe invited to hobnob with celebrities like Princess Grace and Andy Warhol. Eventually, Phillippe gains celebrity status. He models for magazines and gets "the clap". Will the world of sex, drugs, and disco get Phillippe down?
Probably, you won't care, because there is so little depth to this film. Phillippe is very attractive, but the character is limp. Ms. Campbell is seen little, and adds the same. The second tier coupling of busboy Breckin Meyer (as Greg) and singer Salma Hayek (as Anita) adds some sexual energy. Mr. Myers is wasted. You may get a kick out of drug-snorting grandma Ellen Albertini Dow (as "Dottie" aka "Mona"). And, Heather Matarazzo (as Grace) does well as Phillippe's sister. Reportedly censored, Mark Christopher's "54" holds back far too much. It's almost impossible to believe anything this bland could have been so popular.
***** 54 (8/28/98) Mark Christopher ~ Ryan Phillippe, Mike Myers, Salma Hayek, Breckin Meyer