Zooey is cute. But everything here is just awful

Rating: 2/10 (1 November 2019)

I was forced to watch this when it first came out because my best friend liked it somehow. Almost couldn't forgive this. None of the characters are particularly likable or even stand out. It's just dull. And the movie is built around you feeling for this dude, but you can't empathize for him because he's a freaking loon. Zooey (whose character's name I had forgotten until I remembered the name of the movie) tells that guy (who cares what his name is) exactly what her expectations are and he just can't handle it. But the movie acts like we're supposed to side with that guy as if Summer keeps playing games with him-even though she repeatedly tells him exactly what she's looking for to make sure he doesn't get the wrong idea. And that is the plot. Which is less exciting than watching this guy break plates with a frown. Which is the highlight of this movie. And what's with the parentheses on (500)? Hipster garbage. I hate it so much. Zooey is always a cute person but I can't even like her in this. World, listen to me. Let's all agree not to include this movie in any time capsules or culture pods sent into space so that if some apocalypse does occur we can at least have the silver lining of knowing this movie ended with the rest of the world. 2 stars for Zooey. But don't see this movie whatever you do. Probably used in Guantanamo.