"Did she break your heart, or did you?"

Rating: 8/10 (31 October 2013)

(500) Days of Summer is a refreshing rom-com that sidesteps the standard: 'boy and girl separated (by e.g. family, society, misunderstandings, gossip, war, monsters, time-zones, ...) and their struggle to get a first kiss, end scene' narrative. It skips forward, and rather asks 'so, what happens after you got the girl?'
We are told upfront not to expect a happy ending, so we expect that watching closely we may learn to read the signs of a failing relationship. But when the movie arrives at the break-up we are left in shock - it comes out of nowhere! This is where the fun of (500) Days of Summer begins, and we start to shuffle around the 500 days, with the fresh perspective of Tom's little sister. We see unhappy sides to the relationship, we see the gap between Tom's idea of Summer and the real Summer, beautifully portrayed in a side-by-side view of Tom's expectations versus reality. And when reality doesn't satisfy his expectations, he gets angry at her!
And I feel this is the real lesson of the movie: Tom holds Summer responsible for failing to be what he expects her to be. All of us have assumptions about other people, what they are, what they like, etc., even in a loving relationship, call it an 'idea' of another person. This idea should be questioned and tested for gaps between idea and reality! But Tom forgoes his duty: "Either she's an evil, emotionless, miserable human being, or... she's a robot. / She told you upfront she didn't want a relationship? / Well, yeah. / Jesus Tom... Did she break your heart or did you?"
Tom never loved Summer, only the idea of her, thereby devoid of all human intimacy! After watching the movie, we learn to read the sign of the failing relationship: his refusal to meet, see or get to know the real Summer. The relationship requires two persons, not a guy and an idea of a girl. The gap between expectation and reality opens up further and further until it cracks open, and Tom is left with empty hands, learning an obvious but easily forgotten lesson: when reality doesn't satisfy expectations, you should be angry at yourself for holding those expectations!
The movie is enjoyable, uses 'smart' tools to tell the story, and I think provides some real insight in human behaviour prohibiting true connections and true love.