Thes! Es! Sparta!!!!!!!!!!

Rating: 2/10 (20 August 2007)

The story of the battle of Thermopylae sounds fascinating. It's a shame that the makers of 300 were more interested in blood and testosterone than in storytelling. For a movie that's partially about the power of a narrative and how certain tales endure over the time, this movie falls frustratingly short on these things. I wish they would have made this movie as a serious historical epic ala Gladiator, rather than something that plays as if it's the wet dream of a 15 year old boy who spends too much time indoors reading comic books and playing video games.
Every single line of dialog in the movie is spoken wit the same tone and urgency as William Wallace's cry of "Freedom!" at the end of Braveheart. Honor, fighting for a free Sparta, duty, never surrender, etc. When the fighting did commence, most of the battle scenes were filmed in slow motion. It was the kind of slow motion wherein the camera would focus on one particular part of the battle, and then whip over to another part of the battle which was also shown in slow motion. It's not dramatic, it doesn't draw out the tension of the scene, it's just really annoying. After a while I started watching the battle scenes with my finger firmly pressed down on the fast forward button. The slow motion got so annoying that I actually yelled at my TV at one point: "Throw the damn spear already!" I was grateful when the movie was over.