Craptacular!!!!!

Rating: 3/10 (29 February 2008)

"300" is a lousy movie, just another stylized crap: heavy on style, light on substance. Lack of characterization, detailed back story and necessary sub-plots, the film eventually fails to deliver true drama or tension, and turns out to be a kinda flick, only teenage computer-game nerds and avid Frank Miller fans will really love.
For me, the film is just 15-minutes long exercise, that's all. Its most interesting sequence comes at the very beginning: Leonidas' hardcore childhood, where we learn that the Spartan babies were examined at birth for any deformity or failure. Unfit and maimed babies were thrown to a pile of infant bones below the hill. If they survived after nine days, they were considered strong enough to remain in Sparta. Actually, nothing that follows and from that point the film wastes no time getting into the virtual bloodfest, where a bunch of hyped and sinewy Spartan bunnies with oiled torsos and leather nappies start going berserk, severing heads and spraying blood. Even half-assed political intrigues can not save the day.
This is not a documentary, so don't expect any historical accuracy. Fearless, valiant and admirable Greeks are pitted against freakish, tricksy and evil Persians. Let's say the truth: manly Westerners v.s. effeminate Orientals. From Scottish-accented Spartan King Leonidas to flamboyantly bejeweled and androgynous Persian Godking Xerxes, all characters are less than one-dimensional and none is more believable than the other.
It seems that the biggest problem of "300" is the slavish, frame-to-frame devotion to Miller's material, relying entirely on CGI to bring Miller's imagery to the big screen. Creating gorgeously saturated synthetic backgrounds and pasting stereotypical characters into these surreal world is not a big deal in today's CGI technology unless you can bring those images to life. In that sense "300" needs more story, sub-plots, depth and proper character development.