Not Nearly As Good, Or As Bad, As People Are Saying

Rating: 5/10 (4 August 2007)

I've been wanting to see 300 since it came out in theaters months ago, but my experience with Hollywood films prevents me from spending my hard-earned cash on something that will most likely turn out to be underwhelming. Let's just say that I'm glad I never saw this in the theater and instead used a "free rental" coupon.
Understand this. I don't care about historical accuracy. I don't care about the political undertones. I just wanted a cool action flick with entertainment value. What I got was something that is not nearly as good, or as bad, as people are saying.
I read a lot of reviews before seeing this, so I expected really bad acting. Fortunately, the acting was actually pretty good, and the storyline was not nearly as deficient as some critics were making it out to be. On the other hand, the most highly acclaimed aspect of this movie  the fighting  is the biggest disappointment. Let me explain why.
The first action scene starts at the 45-minute mark. The battle strategy is pretty good but the choreography is average. The true strength though is the fact that some segments consist of long, uncut sequences where the soldiers will kill numerous foes. This technique is admirable in an age of quick cuts that hide more than they show. The slow-mo to fast-forward camera speed is nicely applied as well. I'd say that the first battle is a success in terms of film-making.
The second action scene takes place at night against some "immortals", but for some unknown reason the Spartans completely abandon the "shield-to-shield" strategy that was so effective during the first fight. The huge zombie-like dude looked cool, but the duel between he and Leonidas was nothing memorable. The battle continues, but at this point the repetitive and unimaginative action choreography begins to expose itself, despite the presence of another long, uncut sequence. Every thrust and move has been seen only a few minutes earlier. It's almost like watching a replay. In addition, the decision of the Spartans to show off their 6-pack abs to the sacrifice of body armor plays out in quintessential stupidity.
The third action scene is at dawn against barbarians. A giant rhinoceros is taken out with a single spear strike  not good. Some random general dude from Persia gets decapitated. Things start getting stupid, with lots of random stuff coming from everywhere (giant elephants, magicians, fat dudes with saws for arms, etc.), but none of them are on screen for more than a minute. It all feels so generic. Why not throw in some acrobats and circus clowns while you're at it? This is the cardinal sin of action, getting a bunch of generic dudes fighting, thus keeping the viewer completely detached and indifferent to what's happening or who's dying. Not good. Again, the battle strategy gets stupid, with two Spartans venturing out hundreds of yards away from their comrades to fight dozens of baddies on their own. When someone dies, I actually laughed instead of caring about them.
The finale is not only anticlimactic, but annoying. Leonidas dropped the ball with letting "hundreds leave" and "a handful stay." This is another cardinal sin of action film-making. You simply cannot have the final battle end so quickly and disappointingly. To summarize the action element of 300, I'll say that it was okay, but I've seen much better elsewhere. Just check out my user profile for examples.
With regards to cinematography, I'll be brief. Overall it was quite good, creating a fantasy-like feel throughout. However, I personally prefer the cinematography of recent Chinese wuxia pan films  i.e., Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), etc.
There are a few other aspects of 300 that drop it's overall enjoyability. The "play-by-play" commentary was superfluous and unnecessary. I can tell that "the wolf begins to circle the boy" or that the barbarians say "forward" without a narrator saying as such. Man, American audiences are getting more stupid by the day. Some other undesirable factors are as follows. The sinister laugh of the dude with the glowing eyes was stupid, and the boat disaster seemed totally random. A instrument-playing goat? Lots of hotties hovering around a horny hunchback mutant dude? The cheese flows, my friend. The cheese flows.
The flaws in logic are also underwhelming. Leonidas proves his infinite stupidity to turn down the hunchback's desire to fight, even though the hunchback told him he knew of the back passage to the Spartan's flank. Immediately following that very conversation (where the hunchback screams in anger at him), Leonidas tells his comrade that he prays the enemy doesn't find out about it. It would seem that a leader with an even marginal amount of common sense would have considered the betrayal of the hunchback, and would have let him tag along (or simply stuck a spear through his head) to prevent the possible exposure of their flank position. Leonidas instead insulted him, then let him go. Moronic, to say the least.
Let's talk about another idiot  the dude who double-crosses the queen. He was bribed by Xerxes with gold coins. So what does he do? He takes a big bag of these gold coins  with Xerxes' face on each and every one  to a council meeting! After being stabbed the coins fall out and the jig is up. Nice job dumbass.
In the end I give 300 a rating of 5, since it has a few decent action sequences and good cinematography. It's nothing to write home about, though. And if you choose not to rent it, you won't be missing much. In fact, do yourself a favor and check out some of the action films listed on my user profile. Time better spent indeed.