Dreadful

Rating: 1/10 (18 May 2010)

300 is about as close to the actual story of the valiant 300 Spartans as a video game is to real life. Its incessant slo-mo and flowing robes, hair, blood, and fire is distracting from the story. But, no matter, there is no story beyond all that. We are treated to sabre-toothed wolves, a bridled charging rhinoceros, war elephants, and a giant Xerxes who is way too enrapt with piercings and chains.
The acting is not a problem, as there is none. Just various players posing their bulging muscles and mindless arrogant defiance. For some reason, the film places black actors in some of the more villainous roles on the Persian side, so the lily-white Spartans can slaughter them.
The fast-mo/slo-mo CGI encrusted battle scenes, where blood flies freely in all directions, are oddly uncompelling, even boring. The movie does play out like a video game being played by someone else (as another reviewer has said), and is not nearly as interesting. Every opportunity is taken to reveal female anatomy, apparently for tittering sake.
I was quite shocked as to the low threshold this movies aspires to; I would say the 'tween' boy crowd was the target. If you are over thirteen, find a book on this conflict and read the real thing. 300 will not show you anything but the lowest hip-hop history of an ancient gang fight in the dark.