Like being shot in the knee, painful but can't stop thinking about it... (Part 2)

Rating: 1/10 (16 March 2008)

What I dislike about the film: My father has ever insisted that what's bad about a film and what one dislikes about a film are two different things, so I have put them in different sections. Firstly, this is the most morally dubious movie I've ever watched, and I've watched Nazi propaganda. The Persians are portrayed as a soulless, evil mass of black people, monsters etc. What Zack Schneider forgot to take into account was that the Persians were, and are, a real people. You can do that sort of thing in LOTR because the Orcs can't make a protest committee complaining about their representation by Peter Jackson. The Iranian people have taken great offence at this film, and my sympathies are thoroughly with them. Many of them even believe that the film is a piece of Hollywood, anti-Iranian propaganda. One can understand why they would think this. The film is unashamedly jingoistic in its portrayal of war, showing it more as an extreme sport in which everyone (who wins) has a thoroughly enjoyable time. As said before, the Persians are portrayed as being thoroughly evil, even murdering the Persian ambassador is shown as being a good, moral and 'cool' thing. There's even a moment at the end when the narrator starts talking to the audience, a technique straight from the World War II propaganda films. The only reason why I don't think this is anti-Iranian propaganda is because the book was written in 1998, which was before all this West-East tension started up. I think that all it was is that Zack Schneider is unobservant, tactless and has a very bad sense of timing (the film actually came out after the UK hostage situation, involving the UK marines).
The film's climax (there are spoilers of a fashion in this upcoming part, but I don't think I'm spoiling anything): In the climax of Miller's book, the vanquished and depleted Spartan forces are approached by King Xerces himself in one final attempt to save Sparta and Greece. King Leonidas throws his spear at Xerces' head trying to kill him. As Leonidas is 'gunned' down by Persian archers he sees that his spear has missed Xerces by the tiniest fraction imaginable, cutting his cheek open but not hurting or alarming Xerces in any way. A powerful climax. In the sixties film as well, King Leonidas dies trying to kill Xerces but Zack Schneider doesn't seem to like sad endings. Although in motions the film's climax is the same as the novel's, the meaning is changed. In this version, King Leonidas apparently intended only to cut open Xerces' cheek to prove that he's not a God (which he thinks he is). But if he had killed Xerces, wouldn't that also have proved that he was not a God? I mean if you look at the Greek and Norse myths, the Gods are forever suffering unimaginable injuries. It would seem to me, that while Zack wants to be as faithful to the book as he can, he can't bear the thought that a hero might fail in his quest. If Leonidas did what he intended in the film, it might explain why for a further five minutes he staggers round the screen yelling in a despairing voice 'my queen, my queen'. I just wanted him to die and get it over with. Added to THAT, we get an epilogue scene where the narrator tells us, to our face, 'Xerces was held off for three days', although the film extends it to about three weeks, by a mere 300 Spartans, now we're going to totally kick his arse with 10,000 Spartans. I'm like 'please, let it end!' All the books and films about the battle of Thermopylae do this, tell us about how afterwards a bigger Spartan army arrived with the other Greeks, kicked Persian butt and lived happily ever after. Can't they just let it end with the death of the 300? When did we become so averse to sad endings?
Another thing I dislike about the film (is there any end?) is that it cuts out the part played by the other Greek armies. The entire Greek force at Thermopylae numbered 4000 (which is still pretty small compared to the Persian force). The 300 Spartans were the elected leaders of this army and they were the ones who stayed behind after the Greek betrayal in a seemingly fruitless gesture. But the other Greeks fought just as hard as the Spartans. Many accounts tell how the 700 Thespians actually fought harder than the Spartans and stayed behind to die with them after the betrayal (maybe one day they'll make a film called 700?!) But this film pretends that the Spartans were the only ones fighting at Thermopylae. When in the film the Arcadians come to offer their help, Leonidas basically tells them to p*ss off (and people call this guy noble). While in the book the Spartans are unashamedly rude to the Arcadians and the Thespians, they accept their help; after all, it's only being smart. Coming back to an earlier point, a lot of people who like the film refer to Gerard Butler's Leonidas as noble and heroic. I suggest we lock these people up in a mental asylum before they start acting heroic!
300 has changed my life forever. I have been able to get some good out of it though. I have become a big fan of the 300 trailer remixes on YouTube which take images from films and shows, e.g. the Simpsons, Transformers, and out them on top of the trailers for 300 (the 300 trailer is actually very good...is it not pathetic when a trailer for a film is better than the actual film?) And I have gotten out of it, the better versions of Thermopylae, the 1962 film, Frank Miller's graphic novel and the novel Gates of Fire. But my advice, only watch 300 if you want to make fun of it.