Don't believe the hype

Rating: 4/10 (3 April 2007)

Before going to see this movie I came on here to see what everyone thought, I was surprised to see such a divide in peoples opinions... some loved it with a passion and others thought it was one of the worst films ever created. So I went into the cinema almost exited to see what I myself would think of it. Unfortunately out of the lovers and haters I found myself in the latter group. But why?
The film is based on Frank Millers graphic novel which I myself have never read but I doubt that's important, it's just something you should bare in mind when you're going to see this film. I say this because visually 300 is stellar, it looks beautiful, almost to a fault, some moments are so picturesque they're almost twee (yes I'm British). The costume department also came up trumps with the wonderful red capes of the Spartans and the bejewelled Persians.
The film falls short however on its story telling. The factual inaccuracies are meaningless plenty of films have come and gone which have been vastly incorrect in their telling of past events etc. So, no it's not that, it's just that the makers clearly spent so long making it look right they forgot that they were meant to be making a film and instead they made a 2 hour long trailer. Actually I can't fairly say there was 2 hours worth of footage in the film because half the film was played in slow-mo! This is a point I'll come to in a second though.
So save the fact that there was no story line, how was the acting? Frankly, quite awful, though I put this down to the terrible script, as it was clear that Butler and Headey were trying to give it their all. Sadly every other line muttered by Butler was not a line but a scream and every other line from Headey was during/about sex.
Like I say the factual inaccuracies didn't bother me instead what bothered me were HUGE contradictions in the script and morally dubious characters. For example, Leonidas refuses a disfigured man from fighting in the army because he would disrupt the phalanx fighting system they use fair enough but when they don't even use this system and just start to copy Lord Of The Rings then you ask yourself "why?" Also I found it frankly impossible to care whether the Spartans lived or died, they were presented as being equally if not more atrocious than the Persians. The Spartans were basically Nazis (I can think of no better word for a group of people who kill anyone who doesn't 'look right'). The Persians however seemed to be respectful at all times their only fault being that they had an ego charged ruler
The icing on the cake however had to be the way over-used slow-mo effect. Fine in a battle scene they I understand, but when someone is just walking somewhere? It's just ridiculous.
This film tried so hard to be epic that it forgot that It was meant to be telling a story. Just don't go to see this film please, I beg of you, unless. Actually I can think of no one who would enjoy this film.
Steer clear.