Ancient Spearchuckers With Killer Abs

Rating: 1/10 (10 January 2008)

First of all, was this a cartoon or what? It's way too stylized, like illustrations in a science fiction magazine. They should have played it straight, like in "Braveheart", for example. The dialogue was unintentionally funny. Everyone tried to one-up each other in the "profound statement" department. The part where the future king fought the wolf in the bitter snowstorm was laughable - he was wearing only a diaper and didn't succumb to hypothermia. Why was Xerxes portrayed as an eight foot tall gay dude? Maybe a 5'5" gay dude would have been more plausible. And why did he travel on top of a float? And the palace - I didn't know they had "palaces to go " back then. Those Spartans had to have been a pretty vain bunch what with the perfect abs. What - you couldn't be a Spartan without perfect abs? And what about those Persians? They had all the fighting skills of zombies (see "Night of the Living Dead"). Save your money.