300: the number of times you will think of no sitting this one out

Rating: 2/10 (23 March 2007)

This is as close as you can get to 'pretty awful'. There is virtually no script and the dialogue is simply laughable, with lines like: 'they look thirsty'(which makes absolutely no sense at all) followed by the "immortal" lines:'Let's give them something to drink'. All in all, a very superficial script, bad dialogue and a lot of bloodspilling, mostly show with what I like to refer to as 'more frames than usual', causing virtually everything to be displayed in slow-motion, making the movie extremely slow, and, if you ask me, an awful bore. The voice-over explains everything we see, simply because someone apparently felt that the actors weren't capable of portraying the emotions properly. Moreover, there are no characters at all to care about, so this is no more than a meager attempt to treat us at visuals - accompanied by very loud, and cliché-ridden music - which are extremely repetitive and hardly - if at all - worth taking too much time out of you life, when you really could be doing something useful. This will definitely work better if you play it fast-forward, then you won't have to hear the obnoxious dialogue. Mind you, some female nipples are flashed prominently here and there, but that's the only thing that prevents this from being the absolute bomb...