Ugghhh.....

Rating: 3/10 (10 December 2009)

How this movie is seen as an epic is beyond me. Now, I am not one of those people who loves the original no matter what, but do yourself a favor and watch "300 Spartans." It's a much better film with real substance. The action sequences are not as "lively" as those in 300, but you'll actually have an attachment to the characters and the story.
Characterization: I don't know why Hollywood thinks that the way to introduce and maintain a character's personality is by having him/her say something that "sounds" epic on paper. This movie is filled with "epic" lines spouted by empty characters who try in vain to force the viewer into believing that it is emotionally worthy. Also, the Queen's character comes into question when, in one scene, she allows herself to be raped through a method of blackmail and a few minutes later stabs the rapist to death in public. The transition from timid, black-mailed, rape victim to heroic, courageous, maverick seems to have occurred behind the scenes as the directors hand is plunged into the film to move it along and attempt to have "something dramatic" occur.
Plot: The original story is incredible. Why reinvent the wheel? Remember when you were a kid and played out in the backyard? Remember how your pretend world didn't have to make sense because you were enamored by your own BRILLIANT ideas? Yeah...that's this movie. The writers/directors/actors are so pleased with themselves, that they expect you to enjoy it without actually trying to please you.
Cinematography: Ugghh...the SAME scene over and over. A few guys in red capes murdering hundreds of Persians. Again...again....again....and again...... This film is packed with nonstop fight scenes that show little to NO combat strategy, but rather, guys in underwear jumping around and killing people?
Accuracy: Please! The Spartans faired so well against overwhelming odds because of superior military training, superior technology, and brilliant strategy - a fact completely overlooked in this film. Xerxes was actually not a 9 foot tall demigod, despite what the filmmakers would have us believe. And the Spartans weren't glorious because they had six-packs and screamed a lot about "freedom" and "being glorious." How about Hollywood actually try to show us why they were glorious without a fight scene played in slow motion.
This movie is little more than a blatant insult to your intelligence. If you like movies with guys in underwear running through the same choreography over and over while yelling about how "glorious" they are, then you'll like this movie. If you appreciate overly-dramatic, yet emotionally empty characterization, you will enjoy this film. And if you enjoy the twisting of great historical stories into tales of "special effects", you'll dig "300."