The Bane of Liberalism

Rating: 10/10 (25 March 2007)

I don't know about the rest of you comment-surfers out there, but after going through the reviews, a common golden thread was identified. Liberals HATE this movie! Every time you see a negative rant about this masterpiece, look closely; you will no doubt find some liberal talking point, or some liberal-induced paranoid hysteria about how movies like this are intentional Hollywood conservative propaganda. Wait...did I just follow "Hollywood" with "conservative" and keep a straight face? Quick, someone call the mayor so we can award Michael Moore the key to the conservative city of LaLa Land. One liberal even whines about how Karl Rove somehow has a hand in this film. Another liberal claims homophobia; which I cannot even construct a mildly testable scientific hypothesis that would support this paradigm. Yet another liberal actually starts to squirt tears about how all the women of the Persian Empire are portrayed as sex slaves. As far as anyone with a functional Prefrontal Cortex can tell, that's a step up from the modern Muslim female role of rape victim! Get a life liberals. We've had to endure plenty of your crackpot films which you actually have the audacity to pass off as the truth. No one is claiming this is anything more than entertainment and yet you are in a seething uproar.
On to the film, and I will make this simple: My girlfriend's favorite movie is Father of the Bride. This is a film your humble narrator just about has memorized line for line at this point. She is a tried and true girlie girl and lover of all things feminine. She laps up a steady stream of vomit from whimsical female Cosmo and Sex and the City toilet bowls. Expecting a totally different response upon leaving the theater I ask her (in vain I thought at the time) what she thought of the movie. After three heads get chopped off, on-screen boobies, no girl meets guy guy does something stupid sad montage they get back together storyline, and countless graphic stabbings; to my bewilderment she responds, "I would go to see that again." Case closed.