Eye Candy Left Me Hungry

Rating: 5/10 (24 March 2007)

300 was a movie I couldn't wait to see. I enjoyed "Sin City", so I was looking for something in the same style. I left the theater feeling disappointed.
The look of the picture was captivating. It was similar to what was used in "Sin City". Monochromatic shots with accents of chosen colors at appropriate times was effective. The sculpted bodies of the Spartans looked like open house at a gym that puts steroids in their water cooler. Spartans are presented as the heroes in this story. It's the classic underdog story - 300 against a million. The theme appeals to most of us at some level.
Apparently nipples work to take attention away from awkward dialog. There are lot of nipple shots in this movie. When the Oracle writhes seductively on the floor while the disgusting black cloaked Elder licks her face, it's easy to forget what's being said.
Not that it matters much anyway.
Action is the King in this film. Slow motion sword fights with bloody severed limbs, a lot of yelling followed by more blood, and then a nipple shot. (Hey, they work.)
That's my problem with the movie. It's okay, but not great. Xerxes is the King of the Persian army who considers himself a god. He never really does anything that caused me to hate him or dislike him. He's an arrogant ass, but doesn't do anything particularly evil. He doesn't seem much different that the Spartans.
King Leonidas seems like a good guy. I like him on one hand, but he never really does anything to make me like him. In a few instances, I thought he was less than heroic. I could cite them, but I don't want to spoil the movie.
Unlike "Gladiator", I never felt an emotional connection to King Leonidas - the alleged hero of the tale. Xerxes never really does anything to make me hate him. In one scene, he won my admiration for his openness. In a graphic novel movie such as this, it's better to have memorable villain who's evil than to have a forgettable one who's kind of naughty.
So, I just let the fighting scenes wash over me like a slow motion dream. They were like a ballet spattered with CGI blood. At it's most primal, perhaps the slow motion violence of this film is what appeals to the audience.
That and a few good nipple shots.