Mystery Science Theater 3000 material baby.

Rating: 5/10 (19 March 2007)

This movie is further proof that a resurrection of MST3K is in definite need. Actually, I'd buy this movie if it had a MST3K commentary option. Really, it's that bad.
Warning: Possible spoilers.
First, let me say that I absolutely loved Frank Miller's Sin City. Robert Rodriguez definitely knows how to work with Frank's material.
Unfortunately, this director did not.
The technical aspects of the movie were simply amazing. However, that's pretty much the only reason to see this movie.
Plot: Spartans go to war. Four words, and yet I managed to describe every intricate plot detail and character development of the movie. This is not a good sign.
Also, when about 60% of your movie is narrated by a storyteller... it's almost always a sign of weak storytelling (with a few exceptions like Sin City, ironically). The narrator is constantly telling us what is going on, so the script either assumed it's audience have no more education than a third grader, are really high (a possibility with this movie), forgot that film is a visual medium (although this seems unlikely considering the beautiful shots), or simply had a poor script (I would go with the latter).
The score sounds like it was put together by Trent Reznor. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't work for this movie. A traditional orchestra score with a lot of drums could have worked better.
The costumes looked like they popped out of a gay leather bar, usually consisting of leather briefs and a red cape or a leather harness and leather briefs (seriously). While I'm the first to admit that they all looked quite pretty like that, it didn't exactly add to the drama of the story.
Finally, the kicker was the last ten minutes of the movie, which really destroyed the message of the film. Let's just say the last shot of the king ruined the message of the film entirely.
Several parts of the movie which are meant to be dramatic come across quite comical. (Possible Spoiler ahead) A hunchback follows the troops for part of the movie in shadow. The shots of him following looked so much like Gollum that you couldn't help laugh, and that's just for starters. I could go on forever describing how bad this movie truly was, but I have other things to do.
Suffice it to say, what a poor movie to adapt right after Frank Miller's "Sin City."