proudly stupid

Rating: 1/10 (21 October 2007)

This is probably the most inane and lifeless piece of cinema I have ever observed. It contains some of the most tepid and stupid dialogues in the history of movies, is filmed in a disgusting yellow-ish CGI piece of crap that is supposed to be visually stunning, and has retarded written all over it. I still can't bear the fact that I have actually finished watching the movie, something I regret intensely.
So how come they succeeded in making such a decent idea so awfully tedious? Well, there are a few suggestions: - Instead of creating deep and intelligent characters, just let the actors look slightly angry ALL THE TIME, and give them the chance to scream in a stupid way every single time they have the opportunity. This is Sparta,could be proclaimed in a slightly less loud and abrasive way, thank you.

Try to make your kickass slow-mo effects so random that it'll give you a head-ache immediately. - Never, ever, mix up epic with self-indulgence. It is stupid. It feels stupid. - Underuse great actors as much as you can, and make sure it's clear that they all have a very serious form of down syndrome too by letting them scream (I know I've mentioned this one before, but such a retardation deserves extra room)

Portray women as whores who'll sell out for anything

Try and make the battle look extremely chaotic, this certainly adds to the feel of a well-organized, well-trained group of extremely skilled soldiers. What tactics? Randomly killing probably is more effective if you're outnumbered one to thousand!

So there you have it. A film that is horrible, if not tediously retarded. And do not come with the whole 'visually stunning' argument, If yellow-ish CGI colouring and random slow-motion would make a movie good, then there wouldn't be people like, o, I don't know: writers and stuff! Don't see 300. And if you have, my sweet and honest condolences. Don't see 300. It is plain mediocrity, at best.