Garish manlove.

Rating: 1/10 (5 October 2007)

From what I can gather, the ancient Spartans were strikingly similar to modern Western civilisations. They liked oil.
However, rather than pouring it on their cornflakes, like Pat Boone does, the Spartan men rubbed it all over each other for some frisky man-pump fun. They also liked to fight the darkies and talk absolute gash, again echoing the modern West.
Only the strong. Only the brave. Only the strong. Only the brave. That's what the movie says. Only the extraordinarily full of crap, I say. Better dialogue emanates from the urine-soaked alley behind a Booze Buster.
The bizarre thing is, most of the people who like this movie are heterosexual males. Well, at least that's what they say...