Mediocre Masquerading As Epic

Rating: 4/10 (11 March 2007)

First off, I will say, this movie has potential to be great. It falls far short.
Lets consider the characters. They are clumsily developed and the viewer is expected to just let them slide by and to feel for their own personal plot twists. Granted, many characters in many movies develop in a similar fashion (Blondie from the Good, The Bad, and the Ugly). However, these characters are allowed to still interject with extremely awkward dialog that is often laughable and feels out of place. An example, when the traitor to Sparta is wanting to fight alongside Leonidas, Leonidas lectures on how the traitor is unable to stand in a phalanx (which the Spartans did not fight in most of the time). The traitor then throws his shield and shouts "MOTHER! FATHER! YOU ARE WRONG." The camera zooms in on his face "No..Leonidas...YOU ARE WRONG!" In the theater that I was at, half the people burst out laughing. Later, the same traitor has defected to Xerxes. Lots of nudity that, for the content of the story, was completely unnecessary. I can understand that an ugly person like the traitor would be desiring women, but it seems unnecessary for the plot. Why would he enter Xerxes encampment if he did not mean to defect? More awkward dialog follows when Xerxes speaks.."Leonidas asked you to stand...all I ask you is to KNEEEEL." The traitor is zoomed in on and all the naked women are dancing with him. It pauses with this for a second. The traitor (who obviously was planning on defecting anyway) stipulates that he gets a command and then kneels.
Many, seemingly stupid, plot "twists" such as this, are ridiculous. The acting is mediocre and mostly unbelievable at the emotional high points. When the Spartan stands there, gaze locked with his father, he is decapitated. A cliché father-son plot twist is occurring, seemingly without reason. It is one that is not developed at all, one is simply to assume that there have been a lack of affection because they are Spartans. In which case, the plot twist contradicts most of the patriotism and Spartan pride prominent throughout much of the movie. Back to the point: the father pulls the cliché berserk mode, kills a few Persians, and disappears. He appears later that evening, covered in blood in dirt, speaking of how he had no regrets except telling his son he loved him (another cliché). The tears look fake, the expression looks fake, the the dialog coming after is stupid and unimportant. This scene was another where many in the theater burst out laughing.
The movie contained many, many, clichés. I have not read the graphic novel, but I believe it probably developed the plot lines and dialog much more thoroughly. The movie, in my opinion, steals many of its plots, speeches, and artistic expressions from other movies. Braveheart, Gladiator, Lord of the Rings, and Troy all seem to be captured in this movie, albeit, condensed into a form where it is stupidly laughable. The speech Leonidas gives about their immortality feels as if it is word for word taken from Troy.
The nudity in this movie is another thorn in my side. A two minute dance at the oracle. A two minute sex scene after the oracle. Lots of naked women in Xerxes' tent. Xerxes tent is the only excusable nude scene, as it sets an air as Persians being immoral gluttons. The sex scene between Leonidas and his queen is, I'm assuming, attempting to illustrate a love between the two. However, two minutes of moaning while Queen Gorgo and Leonidas are in different positions fails to make one feel the romantic plot.
As a lover of Greek history, the inaccuracy of the movie frustrated me. Speeches by the Spartans, or any Greeks for that matter, speaking of freedom for all would have been laughable. Spartans in particular were humorous, as the Spartans were able to have every man be a warrior because slaves tended to all other profession which limited other nation's ability to prepare for war. "Freedom isn't free"--a thought express literally and in other forms several times throughout the movie felt like a horrible political statement on modern politics.
As a piece of art, this movie was beautiful. It is rare, outside of children's movies, to have right and wrong illustrated so simply. The entire world was dark, implying dark times. Evil was black or looked funny. Good had six-packs or was beautiful. Watching the Persian messenger ride into Sparta, with cape flowing, and golden fields, was spine-tingling.
As for the battles, I imagine future movies will copy some of the techniques put forth in this movie. It was enthralling to feel the battle freeze so that you could focus on the amazing kill about to occur. Video games have been doing this for awhile, it is nice that an action movie has finally followed suit.
On the whole, I give the movie a three out of ten for what *I* would like to see. It has a lot of potential, but fails to deliver without key moments being awkward. Mayhap if more than sixty days were given, this might have been fixed. For the general population, a 5 or 6.