Bloodfeast for perverts

Rating: 2/10 (26 December 2008)

CGI... now what does that mean again? Cruel Gross Idiotic? ..what about Cinema Goes Irrelevant? ... there is many CGI word games to be had with this comic book abattoir movie that seems created by CGI blood feast perverts to entertain their disciples. Like some sort of Eli Roth creation ..maybe: Hostel Goes To Sparta ..this drivel called 300 is a excuse to use millions of dollars of CGI to create the ultimate in mutilation cinema. Hilarious and stupid and endlessly brutal by turns it is a nosedive into a trough of offal with human beings as the slaughter subject. Well known actors have their heads screwed onto gay leather-boy jockstrap bodies and the whole thing starts to resemble a blood and weapon leather fantasy created by a rich closet queen who is also a psychotic mutilation fan able to buy the heads of actors who should know better so he can pawn their muscles into bleeding porn. All that yelling, slashing and monsters. In the studio too. But for me, well its just another sad stupid and disgusting example why cinema is committing suicide. The hilarious narration pretends to be some sort of David Attenborough history lesson when it just sounds like a pervert uncle whispering seductions in your ear. Wait until you meet Xerxes! He is a ten ton chain and jewelery festooned monster queen looking for the PRISCILLA set.