This *so* wanted to be Gladiator

Rating: 4/10 (1 July 2008)

I think this picture is best watched on fast forward. Lots and lots of slow-motion battle/blood sequences and "vista" shots, punctuated by dramatic narration and occasional bits of dialogue. It was nice to see Miller translated to the screen, and I really enjoyed seeing so much of Spartan history restored, but overall the picture is about visuals derived from Gladiator and (less so) The Matrix.
Where they went wrong on history, they *really* went wrong, such as implying that only the Greeks (Athenians) practiced pederasty. It was actually part of Spartan training. And this whole idea that Spartans were free and democratic while everyone else was a slave is just plain wrong.
I *loved* the queen and thought they got the role of Spartan women more accurate than most historical films do. Unfortunately, they did fall quite short of reality. The whole "come back with your shield or on it" is true but overall, Spartan women were much more tough than portrayed in the film and just as comfortable in their bodies as men. Athenians were scandalized at Spartan women's assertiveness, flashy dancing, and short skirts (legs were apparently more scandalous than cleavage).
The problem with pictures that try to base everything on a single historical event where there isn't much documentation is that they have to come up with something to "build up the padding," so to speak. Like so many before it, 300 fails miserably in this regard, with thin, predictable, and even bizarre minor story threads. "Troy" (Brad Pitt version) had the same problem.
A special effects extravaganza -- a study in set/costume design & cinematic technique straight from Gladiator -- a *lot* of frames filled with wheat -- these are not things to tempt me. The standard "oh-so-decadent" Persian court was just ridiculous. Pretty much everything about the Persians was ridiculous. You'd think an empire that gobbled up much of the ancient world would have more going for it.
Anyway, I'm glad to have watched it so I know what all the fuss was about, but it's not one to see again.