Worst, ahistorical film I've ever seen

Rating: 1/10 (17 March 2007)

I saw the movie Saturday to a packed crowd. Our group went from the recommendation of some critics who claimed the film was one of the "spectacular" must-sees of the year. How wrong we were to rely on that promise. To encapsulate: 1. The acting was one of the worst you'll see in film 2. The film lacks a compelling story. It does what "cry freedom" and hero movies try to copy from the success of Braveheart for the last 5 years without the story, passion, and virtues that we can really cheer for. 3. Most of the movie is slow motion slaughter and bloodshed in CGI. Head's and limbs cut off, lots of spearing, and piles of dead bodies... 4. The film plays out like an allegory of the West vs Middle East politics of today. The Spartans hoot like dumb football players with each unreal success, while the East is made to look venal, monstrous, and the epitome of everyone's nightmares. 5. Story? None to speak of... If you've seen Gladiator, you've seen 300. The weirdness of stringent Spartan culture undermines the concept of family but the producers expect us to root for them nonetheless. 6. Imagination? Plot Twists? None.. I've heard and read about critics having to sit through the most excruciating 2 hours of their careers; for me, this was one of those moments. I kept expecting some exceptional to happen.. something redeeming, but there was none. 7. Xerxes and his gang comes off like a flamboyant, bodybuilding effeminate; his crew are either faceless and menacing, or lustful and saturated in orgies. Hard to imagine how someone like this can conquer nations. Leonitus and the Spartans come off like football playing jocks up against impossible odds. If you know history, this film will make you curse Hollywood for dumbing America and world with such banality. 8. If you must see it, wait for the video. It's not worth your money and the special effects are nothing noteworthy. You've seen it all before in the "rings" series.
Don't let the high stars scores on this film fool you, this film is a waste of time. I seriously want my money back.