Utterly Preposterous Hokum.

Rating: 3/10 (24 March 2007)

After having seen numerous deaths, dozens of decapitations, dozens of dismembered body parts, impalings and gallons of blood spewing from bodies with the aid of CGI, my jaw dropped with anguish. This is the kind of anguish you get when you've lost hope in something that tries so hard to be grand. Do the makers of "300" understand anything about 'subtlety', and the effectiveness of when to show constraint on jarring violence and bloodshed? I could care less if this is adapted from a comic source, from a another story and loosely based on some historic fact. This movie in no way represents anything that is plausible, realistic or even thoughtful. We have a bunch of Shakespearean actors clad in skimpy warrior clothing fighting, blurting idiot dialogue, and behaving like brain-washed Cretans. This film is somehow capitalizing on the popularity of the technical waves of movie making in the post 2000 era. But if that is not all, it's shrouding itself in a form of pretentiousness whilst pouring on the visual effects, combining unrealistic carnage and relentlessly showing non-stop war. The music is also execrable. What this film achieves in technical merit fails in character development, story, and believable acting. You know this story is threadbare when it has to be narrated 60% of the time. The narrator's voice proves annoying after 90 minutes and the meaning of his dialogue should be presented to 3rd graders listening to a library oration. It's real stupid. I highly doubt any of the costumes were authentic. I took a class in historical costumes in college and these garments resembled something more suited for a gay costume party. Butler plays his King Leonitus big, by ranting and raving with his histrionics. This is a good talent that was put to waste in such a moronic movie. All the other actors are weak and one-dimensional which just adds to the poor storyline. My biggest peeve is that there are people who are stupid enough to believe this is respectable and dignified art, when in reality it's nothing more than a violent cartoon espousing virtues of killing, war and murder. In an age where we have attained a heightened sense of moral balance, this film ideologically takes us back to a primitive state. It's frighteningly preposterous, because it takes itself so seriously, you have to wince at it's heavy-handed boldness. It tirelessly expels its convictions without letting up. There is nothing humorous or lighthearted about "300". I think this movie relied solely on hype and a showy marketing trailer. As the King of Sparta leads his 300 Spartan best on a revolt against the Persian armies, we see how a cartoonist illustrates a very fantastic and overblown depiction of how wars were fought. The result is that the battle scenes are redundant with far too many slow motion sequences. None of this looks remotely realistic. The result is that everyone and everything looks ridiculous. 300 borrows shamelessly from other movies such as Braveheart, Lord of the Rings, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Sin City, Gladiator, too name a few. But that is what 300 is, a ripoff. It's a completely plagiaristic attempt to scatter every major box-office hit into one two-hour hodgepodge of a flick. I would be merciful to this disaster if it had humor, sensuality, or likable characters. Unfortunately it does not contain few redeeming qualities other than its blatant impudence to ripoff an unsuspecting public.