If I could give it a zero, I would

Rating: 1/10 (28 February 2007)

This is without doubt, one of the worst films I have ever seen. Sure, I've seen dreadful TV movies with bad scripts and bad acting. I don't have to sit through them to know that anything starring Rob Schenider or made by the Wayans brothers is more than likely completely without merit, but let's put this in perspective. None of those wretched films cost as much as 300 did. They don't aspire to be as epic, and they aren't bloated with such self importance as 300.
I saw 300 when it was the Surprise Film at the Dublin International Film Festival, and while it was welcomed by applause from a substantial pocket of eager fans, to say it was a successful selection would be a gross overstatement.
Several people walked out, and while many people will attest to being impressed by it, or overhearing favourable comments afterwards, the only comments I heard from people shuffling incredulously out into the night were negative. If it wasn't for the fact that I was waiting for the credits to find out who played the queen - I recognised Lena Headey but just couldn't place her - I would have walked out myself.
Given that I saw the film completely unconditioned by trailers or pre-publicity material, I was able to judge it completely objectively. A dreadful, convoluted opening sequence that did nothing to engage me as an unprepared viewer, tells of young Leonidas and his rites of passage. By the time Leonidas grows to be king, I was already alienated, and an embarrassingly grave voice-over did nothing except attempt to level some sort of gravitas on a script that was already floundering in its' own self-importance, and failing to connect with the viewer.
300 is being hailed all across the internet as a triumph, as a masterpiece, as a giant leap for film-making. It's not. It's badly written and badly made. It's crippled with clichéd elements that pander to the target audience of adolescent males: gratuitous female nudity, incessant violence and woefully anachronistic chugging Emo guitars on the soundtrack. Elsewhere, the relentless carnage is complemented by the now-obligatory cod choral accompaniment as epitomised by the scores for Gladiator or The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Tied to these overblown and now-overused musical themes, there are moments in this film that verge dangerously close to parody.
Leonidas and his army of 300 elite men go off to defend Sparta against a barrage of increasingly insurmountable odds, but since the film-makers seem more concerned with showing off how impressive their CGI goody bag is, they fail in the opening twenty or thirty minutes to give the audience anything to generate any empathy with Leonidas or his men. It's as if an entire reel is missing. As a result, you feel nothing for their plight.
To suggest, as others have, that 300 is a film that must be seen by any fan of Star Wars or Lord of the Rings is simply ludicrous. Yes, respect is due for the advancements in technology that have allowed 300 to be made in the manner in which it was done, but there is no substitute for narrative, or for decent dialogue. And the much-hyped Leonidas battle cries that are already so beloved of the internet community will soon become as hackneyed and as embarrassing as their predecessors, e.g. the cringeworthy "Freedom!" of Braveheart.
Excretia.