The Movie Runs Like a Computer Game (SPOILERS AHEAD)

Rating: 5/10 (11 May 2007)

I just got around to watching this movie and I must say that I had heard a lot things - good and bad - bound to color my expectations.
I expected to be impressed by the visual effects, I expected to be offended by the supposed hidden agenda, I expected to cringe at the movie's homophobia and misogynist views, and I expected to be carried away by impressive battles and thunderous speeches. I expected a lot, but I did not expect to be bored out of my mind.
NOTHING HAPPENS!
There are no internal conflicts to speak of, no plot twists worth mentioning, no character portrayal, no moral issues to challenge the audience, nothing! Nothing at all.
I know it is based on a comic book, but for f***s sake why does everything have to be so damn black and white? There is no development in any of the characters: All the beautiful people remain honorable, loyal, brave, good, and righteous throughout the movie, and all the ugly people remain twisted, evil, blasphemous, and treacherous deviants who deserve to die.
The plot structure reads like a computer game: The protagonists fight human soldiers; then the protagonists fight archers; then the protagonists fight enemies wielding hand grenades; then the protagonists fight enemies on a rhinoceros; then the protagonists fight enemies on elephants; then the protagonists fight so-called immortal mutants; and finally the protagonists face the divine god-king.
Between the combat scenes we have boring and self-righteous crap; two examples of treachery so mind-numbingly obvious that a retarded, blind, deaf, and desensitized person will be able to spot them a mile away; as well as the death of a character who was basically introduced to the movie wearing a huge sign saying "My function in this movie is to die" While it comes with a certain satisfaction to watch an elephant being pushed out over a tall cliff and fall to its death, it is not worth watching the movie for.