The worst movie I've seen in years! I hated it!

Rating: 1/10 (24 April 2008)

Seriously, this movie is absolutely terrible. There are so many moronic holes in the plot that its positively obscene. The main characters all should have died about twenty times over, largely due to their own stupidity, but somehow, the vampires just keep inexplicably not locating them while they (loudly) hole up in a series of attics and basements (while constantly peeking out little windows and otherwise doing idiotic crap that would clearly spell their doom). The vampires can search every other building in the small town (Barrow, Alaska), but for some reason, they never search the one they are in. The vampires can station sentinels upon various high points in the town, but somehow never see them as they run, a parade of imbeciles literally careening through the streets, from one hiding place to the next (for seemingly no reason what-so-ever). Half the time the lighting is so bad that you can't tell what's going on anyway, as if it matters. I mean, I know its supposed to be a month of night and all, but does that mean that we the audience aren't allowed to see the action?
There are so many things about this movie that are so darn annoying that I literally began rooting for the vampires, and wishing for the deaths of all the so-called protagonists (the vampires are the real protagonists; people like the characters in this movie basically should be hunted down and torn to shreds - I would have turned Renfield and aided the vampires). One thing you "learn" about Barrow, Alaska while watching this movie is that, apparently, no one who lives there ever takes a shower, or ever so much as washes their face. Each actor seems to cavort around with about an eighth of an inch of shiny grease and random particulate matter splattered all over their mugs in every single scene - even in the early, pre-sunset scenes before the actual vampires show up to kill all these worthless, unhygienic dorks. Oh, and the sheriff is some 23-year old underwear model-type who looks like a young Keanu Reeves. Yeah, I'm sure that really fits the profile of rural Alaskan sheriffs.
And while this last may seem like a strange and irrelevant point, believe me, as one who had to sit through this waste of celluloid, if it had happened just one more time, I think I would have screamed and just ended this cinematic abortion right there. You see, they refer to electrical generators about ten times during this movie. But with a single exception, they never call them generators. They always call them "gennys." I just can't impart to you how incredibly annoying it was to watch a bunch of greasy-faced, Hollywood, metrosexual retards pretending they were rednecks by saying "genny" when they meant "generator."