Yes - these vampires really do suck...

Rating: 2/10 (9 December 2007)

It was a Saturday. We had a great idea - lets go see that new vampire movie.. We are great fans of horror, blood and guts, a bit of vein sucking.
Where did it all go wrong? It all started with the first extreme close up of Joshies preppie boy haircut, and his 'oooh I'm stressed' plucked eyebrows. Not to mention Melissa 'Angel' George's pouty expression. No matter what the problem - pouting Angel is in the frame.
No amount of spurting blood could make up for the DOP's preferred close ups. Nor could it console in the face of slack-jawed vampires, who just didn't erk enough scare. The hissing noise - the Vampire battle cry could be likened to taking Jack Blacks inward singing to a place it was never meant to go. Jack is funny. These guys are not. It is annoying and not scary.
The idea of being stuck in a remote place without sunlight for 30days is interesting. The snow, the cold, the heavy machinery that you know will be used to FUBAR the next unsuspecting person or violent sucker is comforting.
The final scene - sunrise after sacrifice. Touching, romantic..hang on - this was supposed to be a scary vampire movie.. why does this scene exist? Yet oddly comforting to see Joshie boy bite it (shame he injected that infected blood - could have made a pun here).
Come on filmmakers - get your acts together and make a decent film. We are dying out here.