Such high hopes, completely dashed to pieces.

Rating: Null/10 (8 May 2008)

What the heck. I want those precious minutes of my life back. This is the first movie to actually prompt me to write a review here. That's how bad it was.
I had such high hopes for this movie. Such very very high hopes. As the summary says, they were completely dashed to pieces.
Goodness, I don't even know where to begin. I suppose the biggest thing was the bizarre passing of time. There were little things that popped up to say "11 days passed" or whatever, but within the movie, nothing seemed to change. Eban sort of grew a bit of a beard, but that was about it. It didn't even look like it was 30 days' worth of growth. No one's hair got longer or anything like that, and apparently they went all 30 days without showering or changing their clothes. If the vampires could smell their blood, couldn't they smell their nasty unwashed month-old bodies? How would it be possible to hide with so much person-funk all cooped up in the same space? And what did the people eat for that matter while they were all hiding out? Really, it looked like the film was shot to take place over the course of two days and then the editor looked at the script and saw that it was, in fact, THIRTY days of night and then swore to himself and stuck some tags in to say that eleven or eighteen or whatever days have passed. Clearly, however, the characters have not been stuck in the police station for a week, because they're all dressed completely the same and only sitting in different positions. Realistically, someone would have gone nuts in that space of time, just sitting cooped up with six other smelly people, not just sat quietly and waited.
Now let's discuss the vampires themselves. Why... WHY... do they need to scream so much? Constant, unending "unearthly" screams. Stop, please, for the love of god. And the constant jerky bird-like head movements, the constant blood-beards that they never even attempted to wash off... THEY WORE CLOTHES. Clearly they were human enough to do that. If they were human enough to wear clothes, then they should have been human enough to wipe off their faces SOMEWHERE in the course of the supposed thirty days instead of just dripping everywhere.
And the child vampire? Really? "I'm through playing with this one now. Do you want to play with me?" Could we please get a little more clichéd? I could go on for pages, but I've already wasted enough time on this movie. Suffice it to say that I want to punch someone, it was so awful.