I wish I'd walked-out...

Rating: 2/10 (4 November 2002)

Continuity, writing, editing, plot, acting, suspense, cinematography, humour, directing, horror, realism...yes, all interesting words Messrs Boyle and Garland, but then so is 'dictionary'. This is a truly terrible film, made all the worse by having seen Donnie Darko the day before. The juxtaposition of Darko (an excellent film) and this pile of utter tosh was nearly too much for me to take. Luckily I had had the foresight to carry a note-pad and pen with me and duly spent the vast majority of the film playing noughts and crosses with myself, lest I fall into a boredom-induced coma. My only other respite was seeing - unfortunately far too few of - the main characters come to grievous bodily harm. But the most damning indictment of this film is that it would have been a vast improvement if it had been shot as a musical, directed by Mel Brooks and starring Tom Hanks, Kevin Costner, Gwyneth Paltrow and Nicole Kidman. My over-riding feeling as I left the cinema was that I'd been mugged and two hours of my life stolen.