Oh Well....

Rating: Null/10 (25 July 2003)

First of all I want to state that I don't know why in the hell people people have their panties in a bunch over Danny Boyle in the first place. 'Shallow Grave' is alright, but 'Trainspotting' was eagerly promoted to godly status by the freshly pierced-obligatory tattoo-desperate to be cool-wannabe masses who just missed the Pulp Fiction train. They wanted to feel like they were there for the something cool so they tried to make 'Trainspotting' their 'Pulp Fiction' or 'Resevoir Dogs', just becuase it was quirky, dealed with Heroin (Pulp Fiction) use, had a good soundtrack, starred Ewan, and Johnny Lee Miller from the decidedly chic 'Hackers', and was adopted from the very slick scribbles of Irving Welsh. All those elements alone do not a great movie make. American audiences may not know this but 'Resevoir Dogs' and 'Pulp Fiction' are like the Bible for British Film guys like 'Guy' Ritchie and Danny Boyle (still to this day) who are trying really hard to be that innovative and hip. Well good for them for trying, but if you REALLY watch Trainspotting for the movie itself, it's not THAT great -it kinda sucks, and has the same ending as Shallow Grave. And Have you ever seen 'The Beach'? -OR even worse 'A LIFE LESS ORDINARY'??? -God Forbid! Danny Boyle is NOT that great....Let's not give him too much credit just for Trainspotting, and become blind to the fact that his talent for filmmaking is actually mediocre. And to prove it I give you: '28 Days Later'...... (SPOILERS)
Great Idea for a Movie........... In the hands of a better filmmaker. Ok, first of all lets take a step back: Danny Boy you have the oppurtunity to make a cool assed movie! You have the money! The fame! The reputation? there are some good ideas in there, but you want the movie to entertain... to WORK! I don't know who this Alex Garland screenwriter is, but he needs some help. I suggest a think tank. - Virus that takes over London and more?: Cool Idea...... - Virus effects you in 10 seconds: Lame (unplausible, theorectically will never spread to rural areas or overseas, and could be quickly quarantined)...... - Everyone is gone streets are empty: Cool Idea, effective..... - Infected "Ragers" work together, symbiyotic groups: Unbelieveable, Rage is Rage, the idea that the "Ragers" are similar to Zombies and "smell" each other, or work together is ridiculous, this didn't ruin the movie but it makes it more lame, you could've thought of something better with a little more effort....... - The whole entire miltary thing: Lame! Also this makes the film lag. Don't you WATCH MOVIES 'Ol Danny BOY? The entire 3rd act was completely overbearing. And it is a copy of George Romero's 'Day of The Dead' -the lamest of the 'Dead' Zombie movies, where some survivors of a world overran by zombies hook up with some military guys in an underground bunker. DIDN'T you ever see THAT? you want to stay away from those lagging assed themes. The Militry guys act the same way in both movies they flex their muscles and bully everyone around, and experiment with the zombies/ infected. Oh Dear...... - The Video/ Digital Video/ Blair Witch asthetic: I thought it worked and was cool. In some movies it sucks.
..... To put it simply, if you would have just played the movie in your mind before you filmed it, or asked some of your filmaking buddies how the idea sounded, I think you would have been more sure of yourself, and came up with a way KICK ASSED movie. But for some reason you fell short. Too bad. maybe that is why the British DVD has so many alternate endings. You didn't know what story you wanted to tell, perhaps, 'ol chap?.... I don't know.. It could have been cool, maybe you should have let Clive Barker write it, and Rob Zombie direct it....... I will say one thing for the movie in favor of it: it was scary! YEAH! I won't let my 10 year old watch it until he's like 14 or 15 at least! Unless he wants to have some Freaky-assed nightmares...... But other than that it was lame...Nice Try... Oh Well...