High Expectations, low delivery......

Rating: Null/10 (3 November 2002)

It's often been said that the way to judge a film is by the reaction of the audience. After about twenty minutes people were fidgeting, getting restless, going to the toilet and whispering to each other. Not much more time had elapsed before couples were openly chatting and I'm sure if someone had produced a pack of cards we could have had quite a game. Anyone familiar with The Avengers (circa Honor Blackman) and early Dr Who will have seen this film before. If I'd have turned on the TV at two in the morning and this had been on I would have placed it in the mid-sixties. Was this intentional or was it simply that poor? Well acted? Who? Which character? The plot  did anyone else guess who'd survive? The storyboard for this wouldn't have taken up much room would it. Monkey infects population, uninfected seek sanctuary, uninfected find sanctuary, sanctuary bad, good prevail. Jim could have so easily been a profound character but he wasn't, Selena was so much better before she became girly and where did Hannah come from? Was she Frank's adopted daughter? Scary? Perhaps if you shriek when you see a spider or are scared of on screen flashing effects there may be one or two moments which unsettle you but if, like most people I hope, you need a well disguised set up to your frightener then you won't get it here. We know it's a film so a bit of intelligence is required to lure us into a suspended disbelief. The background music  what the f*ck what that about!?!?
Please don't try to dignify this film by attempting to apply depth of meaning. It has no redeeming features and anyone who has wandered round The City on a Sunday will be familiar with empty London streets so the opening barely has an impact. I can't be bothered to continue to slag this film off, there's far too much to go at. Roll on Porno', hopefully that won't be a cock-up.