My 2012th review...

Rating: 6/10 (2 August 2012)

Subatomic particles from a massive solar eruption cause The Earth's core to heat up and the crust to destabilise, resulting in massive earthquakes, super-volcanoes and huge tsunamis that threaten to wipe out mankind. Amidst the chaos, author Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) attempts to save his family by taking them to China where the world's elite are boarding several top-secret 'arks' built to survive the disaster.
2012 gets the scientific mumbo jumbo out the way pretty quickly so that it can concentrate on the emotional human dramas and spectacular scenes of destruction that are the staple of modern big-budget disaster movies. Director Roland Emmerich, who is no stranger to the genre, having already given us Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow, confidently handles the CGI-packed action, but with his film clocking in at a massive 158 minutes, and each successive scene attempting to outdo the previous one in terms of excitement at the expense of all logic, the film eventually collapses under the weight of its own preposterousness.
The heroes of the picture face all manner of perils, always managing to escape death by the skin of their teeth, whether it be careering through the streets of L.A. as California slides into the sea, taking off from a disintegrating runway as Las Vegas collapses around their ears, fleeing Yellowstone Park in a camper-van while molten rock spews into the air, or conveniently crash landing in China (rather than the sea) thanks to the rotational shift of the planet. If it wasn't for the small fact that the world is falling apart all around them, I'd have these guys down as the luckiest bastards who ever lived.
To be honest, the film's lunacy would be somewhat more bearable if only the film didn't go on for quite as long as it does; I'm more than able to suspend my disbelief for the sake of fun, but by the umpteenth incredible apocalyptic set piece, the special effects have lost their wow factor and the movie's melodrama has become so clichéd that it only serves to annoy. If the world does come to an end on the 21st December 2012, I sure hope its doesn't take as long to happen as it does in this film!
Oh, and if by some small chance you find that 2012 isn't as far-fetched as you hoped it would be, be sure to watch the alternative ending—it's really, really, really dumb!
5.5/10, rounded up to 6 for taking such an unapologetically absurd approach to Armageddon.