This cheese goes to eleven

Rating: 3/10 (1 December 2017)

2012 is by all means a classic disaster movie. You've got the fractured family and the step dad (who of course buys the big one at the ends in heroic fashion to make way for the mother-father reunion you knew was coming ca 20 minutes into the film), you've got the "scientists" nobody listens to, until it's too late, the nutjob (who is of course not a nutjob) and the typical suits from the government who look after themselves before everyone else and get a lesson in humanity. Oh and there's a dog, there is always a dog and the dog always manages to make it out alive after some perilous journey to safety when everyone else around it dies.
The CGI is good (hence the three stars). The acting is well...OK, the plot...njaaa it's a disaster movie and things blow up, get flooded and melt away. The film would have been endurable if it was at least an hour shorter. I really could have done without all the "drama" on the "arks" and the mind-numbingly bad cheese that followed aboard them. Thank god for the fast forward button.
Probably the best way to sum up this film is the line at the end of it where the little girl (who had been wetting the bed and wore "pullups" exclaims that she no longer needs them because she feels safe. Give me a break...seriously? This cheese goes to eleven!
I should add that I like a bad disaster movie (guilty pleasure...what can I say?) But this one wasn't even bad funny, you know when you can laugh at the lunacy...Atomic Twister springs to mind. 2012 is so bad that I had actually seen it once before and mercifully forgotten about it until of course the sense of deja vu I was experiencing when watching it gave way to remembrance of stupid plot details I was reluctant to experience again.
If a cheese fest is what you are after I suggest Flood: a River's rampage. If you want a typical disaster movie that won't make you sit here writing a review about how much you disliked it I suggest Twister or Dantes Peak.
I do not recommend 2012.