2,012 clichés in a single movie!

Rating: 1/10 (17 July 2010)

Wow. This rancid trough of gruel may be the worst movie EVER made. Let's get right to the checklist of goods:
Divorced couple/failure father/mom with new rich boyfriend/torn kids? check.
Indian that constantly says "my friend" and "sir?" check.
African-American stoic President? check.
Smug, smarmy, fat, know it all, government guy? check.
Secret so big that it couldn't possibly be kept a secret? check.
Crazy wacky mad genius living in the woods? check.
Scientist with a cane and an Einstein accent? check.
Hero that can drive/sail/pilot/commandeer/ride/skate through ANY kind of danger? check.
I have to stop there, because that's just the first 30 minutes - but you get the idea. How this garbage gets a green light, funded, promoted, and made is beyond me. What is worse is that people pay for it - dearly. In this case, your money is the easy part of what you lose; the brain cells destroyed will not be replaced. Awful. Terrible. As punishment, I made myself watch infomercials for 2 hours and 40 minutes - including the Shake Weight, the Sobakawa Buckwheat Pillow, and Gilbert Godfrey's Shoedini over and over again to clear my mind.
I'm considering registering for a Tony Robbins seminar - so I can blow $200 that could otherwise potentially be spent within 100 yards of a movie theater in the next year. I will NOT allow this to happen ever again. This film is that bad.