Cliché beyond human imagination.

Rating: 3/10 (13 December 2009)

I went into the cinema, with no expectations, because of the trailers I had seen, it looked like it would be another Day After Tomorrow film - A disaster movie from the perspective of a dysfunctional family, who in the end, get back together, because of the disaster. Entirely based around a modern day crisis, which will be dated soon enough. However, with these expectations, I still went in with a clear mind, hoping that it wouldn't be like that. I was severely wrong. It was exactly
I could not think of a more cliché storyline, and whats worse, it had SO many crass and cringe-worthy lines and parts in it, I could of died, right there in the cinema.
I can't remember every single one, but here are just a few, which actually hurt my soul.
The Vatican starts to crack under an Earthquake, and the cardinals look up at the roof of the Sistine Chapel, and on the Creation of Adam painting, a crack goes between the Hand of God and Adam. *shivers* The Russian guy in it, can't remember his name off the top of my head, but he said some of the worst lines known to humankind i.e. "It's Russian.. eh?" ...Okay from that it's not as effective, but if you've seen the film, you'll understand completely.
Also when Jackson Curtis falls from the camper van into the large quake hole, and everyone thinks he is dead, and then it's the whole "tense- looking-at-the-hole-hoping-that-he-would-emerge-again-and-he-does" thing. His hands appear when he pulls himself up onto the runway, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. I did NOT see that coming... What confused me the most about this film was when they were in the Ark. Why was there a giraffe making a random appearance every 5 minutes? It was just a pathetic attempt to try and put humour in a serious situation, and it really didn't work. You can't just break tension of the moment with ridiculous humour.
The last thing I have to say really, is the unlikeness of everything that happened. I'm not denying what will happen, because some of the stuff in the film that happened, like Yellowstone blowing it's top etc. might happen. I don't believe it will, but I won't say it won't, because I don't want to be wrong. Anyway, I digress. What I'm talking about is some of the things the main characters did to escape disaster. Now I know I'm supposed to allow for poetic license, but I can't help it. The things they did were just so outlandish.
For example, one of the characters, Gordon, is a very amateur pilot, only "having a few lessons". Now, being a licensed pilot, I can tell you, from that experience, you can't even possibly begin to understand how to operate a giant cargo plane from a single engine plane on your first attempt. It's just ridiculous. And some of the flying he does, is not only improbable, but if he attempted it in reality, he would die. Some of the driving was just ridiculous too, but slightly more believable.
There's so much more, but I can't begin to describe it all.
The only thing going for this movie, is the special effects. They were pretty spectacular, and just as well, seeing as the whole movie contained them. Particularly the CGI. It was pretty good.
However, I do NOT recommend seeing this film, unless you want a fantastic laugh, or you are into cheesy, cliché, disaster/family orientated movies.