No More Pull-ups!

Rating: 1/10 (15 February 2014)

Well this is my first review on IMDb, but this movie was so awful I was moved to warn everyone not to watch it. I don't know how this movie ended up being so bad, but I feel like this was the major inspiration for the odd sci-fi flick Sharknado. Yup, it was that bad.
First of all there were like way too many characters. This was because the producers wanted a big enough character pool to kill off several main characters while still having a nucleus of important characters survive. What made this annoying is that there were so many seemingly unrelated characters that I wasn't emotionally attached to any of them at all. My cousin and I had a fun time trying to decide who was going to die and when. Because I didn't care about any of the people in the movie, when they were in tremendous danger due to all of California falling into a giant hole to the center of the earth it really was not that exciting. In fact the only time I was on the edge of my seat was when I was reaching for my nachos.
Speaking of the scene were California was destroyed, it just didn't make any sense. There were buildings falling and explosions and the street was totally gone and somehow the main family managed to escape in a limo. I mean it just was ridic. Everything was totally ridiculous. Everything was destroyed except for some reason China (which is where the magic boats were that would keep everyone safe from the flood.) and for some reason Africa which they found out didn't even get flooded somehow.
The climax was horrible. Paris Hilton's dog gets the royal treatment while tons of other people (including a lot of religious people) were shown being violently killed. AND THEN they all get in the boat and are in the water but OH NO there is a leak and the main guys family is drowning and five minutes after launching the boat manages to make it's way from China to Mt. Everest and almost crashes while the main guy dives under the water in an attempt to stop the leak and save everyone even though he might die and somehow everyone on the boat is able to him swim around and fix the gears on camera and when he manages to do it and not die everyone cheers because ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE DEAD, BUT YOU, RANDOM GUY, ARE NOT SO I AM SO HAPPY!! Please do not watch this movie. 2 hours and 40 minutes! I almost couldn't sit though it. And the last line was about the main guy's 7-year-old daughter announcing that she no longer wears diapers to bed. Oh joy.