Demolition Man strikes again

Rating: 3/10 (16 November 2009)

Roland Emmerich's '2012' is so over the top it becomes laughable by the end of this over long mash up of every disaster film ever made. I guess the director spent a weekend watching Airport, Earthquake, The Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure and decided to write them all into the most overblown eruption of CGI I have ever witnessed. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for a good "forget your troubles" movie where you can just not have to think for two hours. But the massive barrage of effects and the sheer overwhelming amount of chaos and destruction become a distraction and you find yourself constantly thinking that it could never happen in real life. There must be 20 narrow escapes in some incredibly built automobiles and tires for that matter. There is almost no real character development so were left with just the cartoon versions of real people we have come to expect from Emmerich. We also have all the classic clichés from the disaster movie menu like showing people in different countries react using what is obviously just news footage of recent events, having to show important landmarks get destroyed, etc, etc. Think of the great movies that don't get made by filmmakers who can't get the funding to produce a project, you could have made 10 good films with the outrageous amount spent on this bloated snore fest.
A list of the offenses to our intelligence:
1.Why is the Mona Lisa 3 times it's real size?
2.Jackson comes home early from the camping trip driving through the night then says he is late for work even though he was not supposed to be back until the next day.
3.How can a radio station broadcasting from a trailer have the power to reach L.A. which is 300 miles from Yosemite.
4.Gordan says he had a few flying lessons on a single engine plane but then pilots a much larger plane through the most harrowing ordeals any pilot has ever seen with no problems.
5.A projectile blows away the back of the trailer (where the gas tank is) but it is able to continue.
6.The proximity of explosions and the massive eruption at Yosemite would have killed them all many times over.
7.Why is the Russian bringing all his cars and why would his voice recognition to start the Bentley be in English?
8.The incredibly impossible coincidence of landing just miles from where they needed to be in China even though the entire continent has moved.
9.The Russian plane that was out of fuel explodes in a giant fireball.
10.Most major cities have been destroyed and a giant Tsunami is hurtling toward the Indian scientist and his family but he still has cellphone service.
11.They are all stuck in the airlocks that are filling with sub-freezing ocean water that just passed through the Himalayas but they all look very comfortable wearing just t-shirts and jeans.