Oh dear...

Rating: Null/10 (14 November 2004)

This is the first time I've ever been compelled to write a film review (my journalistic skills aren't too hot, but at least I know how to use full-stops) but unfortunately it's for the wrong reasons.
This film is definitely right up there with Muholland Drive as one of the worst films that have ever stolen a portion of my life.
I too believe it's a case of the Emperor's new clothes - I haven't actually seen any substance behind the comments of those pretentious sods who praise this film as the "best masterpiece of cinematic movie history...".
Someone even said the psychedelic bit at the end will keep you glued to your seat?! It was about as exciting as the selection of screen savers that comes preinstalled with Windows.
I found the opening scenes far too drawn-out, and disliked the ostentatious use of music while an ape smashed bones in the desert. There's so much wrong with this - I mean since when did apes live in the desert?! And how was it beneficial to the ape to spend its time smashing skulls that posed no threat and produced nothing useful... beats watching this movie I suppose.
HAL was sort of cool, but after he was switched off the film had nothing going for it.
Yup, I fell asleep with Cletus and Billy-bob.