I hate it when this happens!

Rating: 10/10 (13 July 2001)

(Please forgive the repeated usage of the word "crap". I would rather curse, but this page doesn't allow it. Also, in my last review, I forgot to give a grade for that blockbuster crapfest Pearl Harbor; so I'll give it a D.)

First off, I didn't think the movie was brilliant, a masterpiece or Kubrick's best. I'm also not writing this review just so people can look and see my review and say something along the lines of "Oh, he didn't write what most other people wrote; he's weird" (by the way, I hope that that made sense). I'm writing this review because I'm tired of hearing all the regular crap about how this movie is brilliant and.. well.... you know. I'm writing this just so I can get these words out of me and, even though not very many people will read this review, get them out to people like me.
In my one line summary, I'm referencing when you hear all this hype about how a movie is supposed to be "one of the greatest films ever made" or "brilliant" or crap like that. I hated Bonnie and Clyde and Natural Born Killers! Critics love those movies (well... for the latter it's kind of divided) and I hated them! Bonnie and Clyde had some good performances and a couple of good scenes, so I'd give it a C-. Natural Born Killers was saved by excellent cinematography, a couple of good scenes and a good Robert Downey Jr. performance, so I'd give it a D or a D-. But this is a review of 2001: ASO, so I'll get right to that.
First off, you gotta love the monkeys. That was the best part of the movie and not just because monkeys are funny. Because it was great to watch how primitive beings reacted to certain things. I also liked the concept that the monolith gave knowledge, but with knowledge comes consequence. Also, it's got one of the best death scenes I've ever seen(by the way, you know there's something wrong when a computer displays more emotion in one scene than the typical Hollywood actor).
As for my problem with the movie: if I have to watch another freakin spaceship dock for another 15 minutes with classical music playing, I'M GONNA SHOOT MYSELF!!! Jesus Christ, this movie gets so boring and slow. There's about 30 freakin minutes of flashing lights that would make an epileptic's head explode. At that point, I thought "Screw it" and went to make myself a sandwich.
Perhaps I didn't understand it's "brilliance" or I'm the member of the wrong generation. I might be but I'm still giving this movie a B-.