2001: A Space Bordity

Rating: 3/10 (19 May 2007)

Lets start with this film for what it is, OK it's a SPACE film, its set in a big space of nothing. So why does it start with gorillas? this film is meant to show the evolution of man and the overall film is just like nothing I have ever seen...it's just nothing happens and a really really boring film.
Nothing can beat the opening music to this film everyone knows it from some form or another, however thats probably the only good thing about this film, it takes a total of about 45 minutes for anyone to actually say anything with the first lines being "Here you are, sir", for the first half of this film I thought I was watching an episode of WILD LIFE ON ONE or something waiting for David Attenborough to say the famous works of "here we have..." or waiting for some form of sex to happen, however to my disappointment i wasted a total of 45 minutes watching this poor film, then when it does pick up and the space actually hits you...your either asleep or like me wanting to change the film...still i stuck with it.
The part when it does kick in its so slow....the music is dull I was turning emo, but thats not my biggest dig, it's just NOTHING happens, OK I would rather have had two and a half hours of a romantic flick than this poor film. Its slow it's like sitting outside and watching the sky while sometimes hitting your self on the head with a massive stick to stay awake. It's also very much like watching someone with a load of cutouts. I mean come on the space stations are poor, you would see better in a primary school art room.
This film however does have some good points, in that it's 3 stories about space. The first story is pretty slow seriously it just doesn't pick up on anything to make you want to watch it or even pay attention it's like they could have made in interesting I mean come on it's SPACE, but I guess that they where trying to make it seem as real as possible. If they where trying to make it as real as possible that was probably a bad idea because who wants to see people moving really slowly in a space ship they would be as much fun as being in a washing machine (in fact being in space for real in 1968 would probably have been like being in a washing machine) this film had so much potential, and OK the comment about the space stations was abit out of order they do look pretty good.
The second story is the only good one with the HAL computer that one i only know because of Recess and the simpsons, but either way it is the best one of the stories in this film, and does try to be a good horror (if they remade this story it would be SO good, like Event Horizon or something and would be really good...in fact I think that might be the idea where Event Horizon come from however Event Horizon is just a better film) the one thing I didn't get at the end of this film was the ending but then I didn't pay attention to the rest of the film in all fairness I was more fixed on looking at my fish tank (which by the way at the moment has no fish in it - yes thats how interesting this film is) but maybe I don't want to understand the end of this film because people who have watched it and liked it say that you have to be intelligent to understand it.
You have to be intelligent to understand it? OK I don't watch a film to use my head after it and work out the meaning of life and the fact that we are all made of carbon and may have evolved from apes and we could have been made out of silicon if there wasn't so much of some substance in the air (like that blob from star trek), or we may have evolved into something else due to different conditions or we are going to evolve into something else like the Borg.
To be honest I watch a film to watch a film...that probably makes no sense but I watch a film to forget everything else around me I don't watch one and turn to the person next to me and say "yo...did you know we may have evolved from apes?" then get into a massive debate during the film...though that may have been a way to make this poor film go faster.
In fact heres an idea you know that most people skip the first 30 minutes of superman and watch it from when he goes to the city....with this film you can just skip it to the HAL computer story watch that for 30 minutes then go to bed it would be like watching the Recess version but only its the film that its based on...in fact just watch the Recess version it's what 15 minutes and way more fun.