the lamest movie ever produced, bar none

Rating: 3/10 (5 September 1999)

What is the big deal? To listen to what just about everybody in the world has to say, 2001 is the greatest movie of all time. But when I watched it, I almost had to take the tape out to check whether it was the right movie.
I fail to see how screaming monkeys are important enough to the storyline to warrant a 20 minutes, or half-hour, or however long it is. I couldn't tell, because I was so bored time seemed to stand still.
I can't see why Stanley Kubrick can be a genius when he managed to forget an important aspect of any movie: the script. We are forced to suffer through long passages of slow-moving ships or people before someone starts talking. (if we're lucky, it is in total silence. If we're not, we're forced to listen to a bunch of people screaming dissonant notes, supposedly heighten the non-existant tension). I mean, really, how are we supposed to relate to these characters when they don't say or do anything that would make us like them?
I'm not even going to comment on the end of the film, which only served to waste a half-hour of my time.
Maybe I'm a philistine and don't understand the art, but I know what I don't like, and I don't like 2001.