put your popcorn back

Rating: 1/10 (4 November 2007)

The best part of this movie was the five minutes i took to prepare my popcorn. What little plot there is plays out like something from a fifth grade essay, a poor one at that.
And believe you me, it's as though the ending just can't come soon enough. During the ten part conclusion, I wondered if perhaps it was I that was stuck in room 1408, destined to watch this overcooked tripe until the end of my days.
Put your popcorn back in the cupboard, switch off the lights in your entertainment room, warm up your favourite reading sofa and tell your friends that movie night has been cancelled. Unless you're in the business of disappointment, you do not want to watch this.
The only good thing that can come from sitting down in front of this steaming pile of feces is the potentially attractive nurse you may meet at the emergency ward as you explain to your medical insurance representative that slitting your wrists was the only viable alternative to watching the show through to its mind numbing, skull crushing, Sunday night day before school, skin on fire, homework not done, wish-it-were-still-the-holidays end.