No Monkeys

Rating: Null/10 (7 May 2011)

As a massive fan of monkey hijinks and a numerologist who fancies the number twelve, I was proper pitching a tent at the prospect of seeing a film about a dozen apes. Well all I can say is, I've seen more monkeys in a zoo, where they actually have monkeys where they say they're gonna have monkeys. If like me you wanna see monkeys, then be warned this ain't the film for you. Bubbles will be turning in his tractor tyre. Twelve monkeys? More like a handful of homosapiens.
Bruce willis is typically bald as the paranoid primate with a purpose, and Brad "The Baboon" Pitt ain't bad as the films Wooly Monkey weirdo, but the film lets itself down with its total lack of boobs. Even if Madeleine "Simeon" Stowe was to get her fanny out it couldn't rescue this tripe. All in all I thought this film was bobbins. You're better off watching chimpanzee's at a tea party smoking fags. Des O'Connor.