10 Whatever Lane

Rating: 5/10 (26 March 2016)

I usually don't write reviews for IMDb when there are already 175 reviews written but since I expect my opinions to be brief, why not, maybe someone will read them among all the odd glowing reviews of this totally average film. (Can't explain this mess without spoilers so be warned.)
Okay. First thing. This film has absolutely NOTHING to do with Cloverfield. Nothing. Period. Even the weird aliens that turn up at the end look nothing like what was presented in Cloverfield and their presence is short, so get it out of your head that this has anything to do with Cloverfield.
Other than that, this was about as entertaining as two episodes of The Walking Dead back to back minus the zombies. Sure, there was some suspense, but nothing more than you'll see in a cable television show. John Goodman lost a little weight since his whale of an appearance in Trumpo but he's still way out of shape, gasping for breath just to move across the room, so the idea that two healthy young people can't take him on in his little bunker is just absurd. Just put some of those cans of food in a sock and whack him over the head already, I was saying to myself.
So most of the movie is John Goodman holding two younger adults hostage in his bunker while we aren't sure what exactly has happened outside. At one point the young woman almost escapes but she sees another woman trying to get into the bunker who is like, I don't know, burning up, or dying from some disease, or bubbling from acid air or something. But then when the young woman finally escapes toward the end there is no acid air or poison air or whatever so what was that all about? I don't know. Makes no sense.
Okay, so basically, most of the movie is John Goodman holding these guys in his bunker against their will and then the young woman escapes to find out indeed the world has been taken over by aliens and then it's like, okay, tune in to episode three, except there is no episode
The end.