I love you, John Goodman

Rating: 2/10 (20 March 2016)

As I walked into the theatre with my friends to see this movie, I was anxiously awaiting what I thought would be a most strange & wonderful work of art. With the first Cloverfield fresh in my memory, I hoped for action, suspense, and above all, sci-fi horror. This movie provided none of these things and instead left me dumbfounded & frantic wondering how it had received such great reviews, not only by fellow users on here, but also professionals. It lacked all three, pathos, ethos & logos. As for emotional connections to any of the characters, there were too great of gaps that made it impossible to feel for them. Goodman's performance was the best part of this movie and one could argue that his complexities towards the women in his life were enough to cover the pathos throughout. Credibility. Logic. Prior to this sentence are two words that never came to mind during my viewing of 10 Cloverfield Lane. I was pushed so far in the opposite direction that I would be willing to bet that these words may not even be in the vocabulary of (at least) some of the people who made this film.
The main character was like a house after hosting a party of 1,000 people, and then left in its destruction to rot. She was rotting... And trust me, it was not pleasant. This character's lack of credibility was probably the biggest issue, because she is unappealing, verging on appalling the second she is introduced. I found it physically and emotionally impossible to relate to her or feel anything for her. As the movie went on and we learned bits & pieces of her personality, I deeply hoped to be inspired. At one point I thought, who cares if I can relate or not, maybe she will be inspiring and that will be enough. I thought wrong, She was everything but. I was heavily rooting against her through the whole movie and even still.
So, seeing as how I wished for the main character to brutally die at the hands of surprisingly cool-looking martians, I give 10 Cloverfield Lane a big thumbs down.
P.s.- Are we really still dressing females in WHITE TANK TOPS every single time action or horror is involved? Come up with something new people, there are thousands of other colors & clothing available that is still "sexy", that can be torn and ruffed up easily, and that will reveal breasts and nipples when the clothing gets wet. Thus, white tank tops are no longer needed and have been overstaying their welcome for about thirty years now. Thanks.