think about that my guest and i are going to talk about some elements of that today yes this is part one because our really you know we're not going to get through everything here you see all these cards anyway before we get started you know what we do on the dr joy show how do you feel i feel great i want to thank you you the viewers for staying with me this is my hundred episode of the dr joy show and yes it's a monumental milestone for me and for here and i was a little i was a little off right so is your lifestyle killing you tell me about yourself first before we get into the book and the concept and the concept so chuck byrd born and today is a lot of it is certain to put us you know i never ever ever thought about becoming a doctor chiropractor health coach any of these things but kind of life took me in that direction when i met a young man i was planning on getting a degree in exercise fish i met this fellow and it was something about his passion his desire his love of what he was doing and will come to tell you a serendipitously later within a matter of three months there and new yorker part to college four years later graduating and now  conscious and it's one of those things that it's hard to put your hand on what the word really means but so many of us we are in order magic mode and in fact when you go to school and you learn about the human body everything is on  we've got to do i feel dr joy when i use the word consciousness it's really about awareness it's about awareness of our choices our daily choices actions and habits because as far as i'm concerned that's what makes up your lifestyle and in fact that's what predicts your future so consciousness with regards to choices in terms of what i'm going to choose to eat people know that they should be physically active right they're not taking the action to do it right and more importantly more than anything and i learned this many years ago the most important space is the space between your ears how many people contemplate their contemplation of think a to think about ok yeah because our thoughts control our feelings our feelings control our actions and our actions have results so if he what's he ere is not right a yeah then chances are those other blocks down the road aren't going to be right either right very cool yeah so what's the cause of the bell feeling good enough or feeling not good enough now tell me more about that well it in my early years i came to this realization  came to health care that so many people who had their issues they can you with neck problems back problems digestive problems but it didn't take long to realise that emotional triggers are the things that predispose most health related problems and in doing my readings and i became i was infatuated with so many different ideas and philosophies reading so many books and here's what i found universally across culturally throughout the unit vers the bottom line to most every human being is an internal gut feeling of just not feeling good enough not tall enough not smart enough any of those things and dr joy it stays with us all of us through a lifetime but is or can that be spun around to something good because then that would give us our innate drive well perfect segue to the idea that you know what it's always a matter of it's not your circumstances it's your attitude in your perception to the circumstance so some of us are going to get get stuck in that stuff and just every single time that in the event comes around when they don't feel good enough they can go downward somebody else is going to acknowledge it and say you know what underneath this low earlier is about daily choices actions and happen so the challenge to our listening audience of course you know you always hope it's fun doing interviews but please walk away with something all then they're going to view it so yeah yeah i want them to do is to walk away with some kind of a an assessment a self assessment of a ritual of what am i doing to myself or myself that will allow me to start raising this bar of feeling good enough and it begins well there's a thousand different things but a few of them would be to at least spend fifteen or twenty minutes every single day taking that introspective journey yes and many people don't do that because of the fact that they're in a rut they get up in the morning is lot goes off so i've always said that if you need an alarm clock to awaken you that means you're cutting off your truncating the amount of sleep that you need eating get enough rest so now facing the a long clavicles of thing you get up you go brush your teeth you take a shower you come downstairs there's a certain train you need to catch so you're always on some kind of time clock some kind of schedule right and i know very few people have to set aside that time to look in part so part of this introspective thing would be to say you know what i find myself always in a rush so that we've got a little time management situation and time management my suggestion and it doesn't have to be when anybody but in reading what i came to embrace is i join the five o'clock club what five o'clock club is setting that along for five o'clock ok now some people will say this guy's out of his mind but here's the deal we are on this planet dr joy for a relatively short period of time and only we don't know but the idea is i'd like to max it out i'd like to max out doing as many things as i possibly can do and the idea of starting my day early it is a beautiful time  it is quiet the rest of the people in your home and your family are all out there and in quiet time is the only time to reflect the beautiful metaphor is go out in nature look at this magnificent not a river but a lake and when the lake  is at its quietest time when we have pure reflection of the mountains the sky through it's magnificent but allows us to look within and if we can honor the fact that i'm always in a rush well then choose to do something that's right become the director we spielberg of our lives yeah we are the directors and the producers do you believe that yeah i do i do and i think the viewers will believe it as well because of the way you are communicating it see it's out there and a lot of things we know that's out there but sometimes we we don't get it we don't get it fed to us in the right in the right way the right form the right message what you just explained i think the viewers will get it now let me ask you a question how does one find your past in do you think wow i know the first thing you can go out looking for if elitism like this happens yeah right i believe that if people are focused on they are really sincere asst level of high value in other words what are your highest values here's a great question to try to find passion is first of all ask the question where do i get lost in time i'm doing something and all of a sudden i look at the clock and then two hours is one thing i've got to eat right because you found something yet and i really believe that you know you can go into the library and look for it you can't go into the internet  self exploration and asking those all important questions folks the quality of your life of the quality of the questions you ask yourself right and it's only through listening to your type of program interesting guests different books so get out of the day to day humdrum where every day is a carbon copy of the day before and change it up there are you talking about people trying to be authentic and be you know and be happy with this skin that they're in but we have these things called societal presses right you talk about it in your book the cultural software consumption yeah how do you get out of that well we're going to start off by once again taking a eight yeah three percent of people are truly soul directed they've they're listening to the quiet voice within that's really prompting them to say you know what you've been on this chase you've got you this you got you that you driving a mercedes i'm living wealthy right of the world right so at a certain point i believe it's important dr joy for all of us two i call it resurface take an honest engine tory what's working and what's not working in my life right and many people have given myself how to find it i said yes what is it that you love to do and you would do it for free once you find them then go do it work it you know ok so but we get caught we just get caught up in every to live our lives so our parents i mean you said mother father teacher preacher past experiences and people who you hang with so one of the important things here is to go bring about the bahraini bring it on come on what it states is that you will become like the five people you hang out the most now and how many people you will become like this five closest people you hang out with now takes on outside the family yeah well it could be enough but the point being is that you don't realize a child learns from the ambient environment of their home it's not even what they were told right it's what they see what they see what they pick up right so if the five people in your world if every time you want to hang out it's going to a bar  every time you want to do it it's doing something that's just away from my core value system at a certain point i believe we awaken and get is that the transformational aha moments that people experience in your life but you have to be aware conscious of what's happening conscious to the fact that you know i'm going out with the same people on the phone really love and i'm coming home and put my head on the table and this is really not giving me the joy of the direction that i want cuz it's the same conversation over and over and over again and it's not a positive conversation if it was positive it's ok but if it's not it's like ok now how is this affecting me internally see i think a lot and this is traveling here i'm going there in a boat this you know and everything is x terminal and we don't spend time on the internal fix our so here's my statement for that ok good good good we are  spiritual people living in a material world any moment so what happens there is that we are in we are caught you know with the angels the devil was constantly caught without having clarity about what's really important so therefore the chase is your lifestyle killing you so people are killing themselves to apply or because we have a fraudulent belief system that who i am dr joy is what i have and therefore the more i have the more i am so it's a fascinating thing and what i asked our listeners is to see how does that show up in your own life how did that show up in my life i was one of those people you know but i work in the what we call the mercedes eighty s s right and we you know what i was hanging around with people everybody was doing real well before you know what you're buying the bigger home the the german sports car that i and there's nothing wrong with these things please understand that's why what happens is when you are involved right with chasing that and forgetting about the most important asset you that health and your emotional and spiritual wellbeing that's the problem you will find that those things will never satisfy the soul nothing you know i was looking for that because there's always another model there is always there's always the next i phone there's always the next want to go is the next car but is it because do you think that people chase those things because they want to fit in and also that's part a and then part b that they seek validation from others and when someone validates them they feel good about themselves yeah i mean i think it about keeping up with the joneses what happens now to you god forbid if you do that you know well you know you have the big house you've got the four car garages and all of them are the german cars right  will say in my life life has not been perfect i've had wonderful you know the old story life wide world of sports the thrills of victory at the end the agony of defeat and i heard you mention on previous shows it is it is not the successes in our life no joy it is rather the challenges the obstacles that we have to learn to make opportunity i've had some losses in my life everything from losses of of parent to losses of my finances and i had to sit back being part of a ponzi scheme and recognize that at a certain point in my life i think i was fifty five years old to have lost most everything yes and now the question must stay with and you ask yourself book but i wrote this is interest people is that many people who had so much physically decided to give it away because they wanted this feeling of learning to understand who am i a tick or level your entire life will be spent as it is for all of us and you may not be conscious of it but it's asking will the real dr joy please stand up will the real chalk bird please stand up and i mean that sincerely because at the end of life at the end of life folks if you've been and i know everybody has unfortunately been to funerals they will never discuss the size of the person's bank account they will never discuss the size of the person's home they want to understand your character yes you want to understand your character the essence of who you are so get into character what's that there is character and then we compared it to personality or earth anality let's talk about that because there are two different things some people think that they're one and the thing and it's not well here's my interpretation of that well personality joy is that i have to come on to this show so let me push my personality but hey  with yourself to me there is no difference between your personality and your character can you show up as the most vulnerable caring compassionate supportive or the most angry bitter and all of that on their side yes so i think it's really important and part of the introspection is to ask yourself that question how do i show am i different at work versus when i come home i'm this wonderful caring person on the job and then i come home and take the dog thank you for the child or worse for the spouse or the cole whittaker came up with that you know eleanor roosevelt harry coeditor and i want to say here that yes relationship between what is a relationship between authenticity and emotional freedom well the are the relationship as i see it is that the more vulnerable that you are the more honest a complete freedom you have because now you don't care because it really doesn't matter we don't care  care who don't care that i think not caring is easier then to say i'm going to trust this person what is the downside of me being vulnerable sharing what has happened in my world with people here's what i've learned the beauty is that the more vulnerable you are when you open yourself to people people open themselves to you otherwise all we do with as my veneer of your veneer yes and until we got to rip through all of that all of that will the real joy please stand up we don't have to do that and i've learned that people like you better and when you show up this way life is joyful pardon the pun you know i get it so you said three percent you had that three percent but then there's that ninety seven percent try so if those nineteen if that ninety seven percent wants to make a change they will use what you call them the book the life small again right they get that second chance to go through and i just want the viewers to understand it's not it's not a quantum leap that you're going to do this it that you're going to make this jump it's a transformation so there's a process there is an evolution that you will go through so but one has to want it would you say you know so so the great statement that i'd like ever done on your job wow that's a lot of work but the question is the fruits of labor and the why is that what i'm looking to do is i want to grow older very gracefully because i want to believe that at sixty three i have another twenty to thirty years of viable healthy quality living hiking biking racquetball put the things that are important to me so the matter what it is that you want identify your why because without a why there is no comply i love that without a why there is no comply and what's right for you versus other people go now let's talk about the role of gratitude in this transformation process of going through and being authentic are my thoughts so here's what i've learned you cannot be in gratitude and be depressed at the same time every every emotion carries with it hormonal changes in the body and you can't just say i'm i'm grateful you have to own gratitude you have to feel gratitude body exactly where i hiss is a daily routine yes yes i share with patients that the first thing in the morning the first thing we should do because the human emotion the mine is most vulnerable at two times of the day upon going to sleep at night and upon awakening in the morning ok so challenge those times don't allow the negative incessant thought process to take over i challenge it by taking pencil and paper because there is something that i can explain but neurologically when we write so you know everybody's heard this but yet hearing it and living distinct things yet so i'm asking listeners to walk away from today to put some of this what dr joy what i'm trying to share in practice so this has a profound influence we don't change in twenty four hours now it is a life time and through the life time comes enormous wonderful things followed by a legs being taken out from us by but still being grounded in the fundamental rituals and habits that will keep elevating us if we do it enough it becomes we and she's a good friend of mine who she's going to be one of the recipients of your book challenge me a long time ago two thousand i'll tell you the number of days two thousand six hundred and eighty eight days ago chairmans me to write down in a journal thank you every day i am grateful for so yes to your higher power for blah blah blah blah blah so whatever number i told you it's been almost you know how many years are a lot of years so so every day rituals is the thing yeah dictates our future it changed my life that's what i wanted to say when she suggested she didn't challenge she suggested that i do that you do to it's near my bed or it's downstairs in the family room or it's with me and and i miss it if for whatever reason i can't go to sleep without journal because the weather lacks if so take this and again for listeners and this is one component but now i am referred to something that i spoke to earlier about my trying in truth and i think that boils down to is that remember your health has multiple different areas right so a wind spine eat from vine comm line we've been talking calm the mind to work on the space between light years a fifteen minute protocol every day look how powerful the gratitude was for you yet what if you did fifteen twenty minutes hopefully it an hour of physical activity i don't want to hear we yes thank you very biased well i hope you enjoyed what we talked about today in terms of transforming and is your lifestyle killing you the one thing that i didn't mention but i already know this is supporters and you and me for like the last hundred episode