it's carol ricard america's wellness embassador and welcome to the well you show i am joined by my guest angel torture really on baku i call the pain detective and we have julie maddox who is the wellness coach  welcome ladies so in case this is your first time tuning into well universities well you show we're here really on a mission and that is to give you the tools in order to live well i've spent twenty five years working in hospitals giv people these tools and i always believe that you should get so sick in order to learn how to live well and these ladies happen to join me for the projects so we're kind of you know we're no longer i was telling julie this is we are taping show number twenty one and twenty two for this year isn't an amazing is amazing so so what we're going to talk about today we have brought we brought some props we're going to talk about stress and angel you've got yours  by right we've got our former poly plate of stress so let me explain how i kind of came up with this i had a patient that i was working with and i said to her if she told me what was going on in her life i was like oh my god like you've got this full plate and you can just imagine you know overwhelming overflowing so i turned this into an activity and that's really what we're going to do today the goal is to kind of i gave these ladies a little head time because i've learned brainstorming on t v is not good so they've got some answers written down and i got my answers and so that's what we're going to work on identifying the plate but then what can we do because it's also about doing so what can we do if your plate this high what can you do in order to get it more manageable but i have a surprise for these ladies it's it's kind of right here i'm quite proud of my work here so we're just going to kind of phyllis maybe up we'll go all round and then what we'll do is how to take it down ok all right so that's what we're doing so i just want to say you know when you told us about this i started like  you know what kind of stress is in and then i thought about you know the people of houston yes oh my god so you know that took me back you know i thought that really that really trumps everything yeah really you know like like i wasn't even near the shore but what we experienced even so far away i can't even assure me neither so there's no i don't feel like anything that's going on with me is minor minor little i have to just say that yeah so i'm glad you did yeah yeah and honestly because we're kind of on a tape basis is you know so people will just know that that's where filming it is actually one week today past harvey hitting houston so yeah thank you for saying that good and then you know while i was watching that devastation i had some stresses and then every day is different in my life so the stresses that that i started out with really not as great as even today's stress yes so so be present so forget the list because i happen i happen to know a little bit about her day care ok so let's let's work from before i came here so i'm getting ready to come in i hear this strange noise and i think that the heat because it was cold but how it was in the heat so i hear this blast the water and i go downstairs and stresses that happened before that but i'll start with that one yeah so so how can we right that up here on the board you know i mean to be honest with you when something like that happens though it kind of isn't just like an entre it's like a whole meal in itself right yeah so let's start with so pipe the slant of the basement so i just like you're kind of frozen because you're trying to decide what to work on for what's right how do i stop it and what's a grab to start soaking up yeah yeah well i think that's a really important point because when we experience a big stressor right you're breaking it overwhelmed and it really is about how you can almost get analysis paralysis what you have to first you know should i do this should i do this should we do this and and it really is we have to we pull ourselves in and say ok what's going to make the biggest difference shutting off the water you know and in any even when you think we talk about it's really what do we need to do  first it's not going to be one and done i mean it's really having to prioritize yeah when it's a really big thing so you got the water off then you started having to do the cleanup right and yeah and that's that was the biggest thing finding the source and and then like why did that happen can i leave the house you know because i don't really know why that even h i mean because because look we went from a burst pipe to all of a sudden really beginning to realize that it really isn't just one thing it's a whole bunch of things piled together to have along with that if that makes sense know house was able to move into it right and when off somewhere came back walked in and there was tile on the dining room table the toilet that i had used up stairs before i left overflow and it came through when the ceiling tile fell down on the dining room table and even when down into the basement while i was gone oh not even my house i fell oh so i  take well guess what again and i guess this is why i like doing this because you look at that and you see oh it's just one but when i heard you just say it wasn't just one right it's the health issue now it's the pain medication right not being able to take in an all right so right now we're here med and then the other thing that you're taking it for which means that you're going to have because you can take it is going to be the pain right right and in the other thing we were talking about about sweat yeah exactly right kind of actually makes it worse so it's kind of the side effect of and i guess here's what i want people you guys and everybody watching  realize this is i think where we get so well because we just see it is one thing but it really isn't it really is you know a plate on itself kind of piled up on top of it and and we can do something about the health but then it doesn't really help because we still have the other three things that are kind of lingering around if that makes sure yeah yeah all right give me another one know my house really i don't i don't even think i need this list because then i'd say september first new insurance so i find out that i thought the other insurance was bad but this is worse because before i i had a co pay i can make health  insurer yes yeah ok so i find out that something i needed for a trip not covered and yeah yeah yeahs i was trying to deal with the insurance this morning but doctors  and i reached out to carol about is there are cheaper way to get what i need without having to spend an enormous amount from the drug store yes and that was where the couple things ok so we did a whole show on this you haven't seen it go watch it oh i should tell you all i did get all of our videos up on a website the well you showed on come on current show that it's gone most like a blog and you could go on to go see all of them and it kind of links back to previous princeton t v in the video so it kind of all next so yes i gave you needy meds dot org is the place to go to because what that is it's a clearinghouse so if there's any assistance programs you can find it there on their website now the other thing though if it's not a name brand kind of medicine because even generics are very expensive did you call there was anything listed for any kinds of meds and then the other thing i would do is we talk about store shopping around and hauling calling yeah but but i have to tell you this one thing again insurance turned into five and i like the other way i like to think of it is dominoes because it's the one thing but in it's this that it's this and it's this that has this and sometimes we got to take a break in between this one and the third one because you've got i'm writing text because it's not just the kids but it's also what they told you right right and then would you also say not like i trying to think about that and how it affected you oh it just added to my stress like you know worry right worry and so respond let's say to the text obviously the person's on their phone but they don't answer you know and i've been to the scenario before and i just wanted to hear the conversation about what was going on or what the situation what this is friday today friday and how we had a conversation no we didn't important point though is to stress doesn't come just wrapped in negative packages like pipes bursting yeah but also it really kind of wonderful things to like kids insurance as opposed to not have another one there yes so so for the insurance and the fight i find now from the news well there's another hurricane coming right where i'm supposed to be going for my birthday my son's birthday is heading right there so i want to kind of cover it all that even though we're talking specifically hurricane but even weather you know because you have if we're in the winter it could be northeast or a storm coming all that absolutely zero so yes so now i'll deal with the insurance i have to figure out the priority make sure that there's no more water when i get home you know and then figure out well i got to start  well here's the other thing though you said was even you know it's crazy even having a crippling hand can sometimes be cations yeah right can add so much to the plate right before the weather report this stress was ok the outdoor cats and what about the inside turtles yeah well it's all that it goes into a trip you know which is why you got to take a vacation a you need to get home yeah vacation or even going on vacation so there's not going to be a vacation oh all right listen we've got we've got you really it is a we're not talking just about big stuff in fact i find that that's really what people will tend to get overwhelmed because if you imagine this play you know it's not just one big old piece of roast you know or steak on there it's all these little pieces in people don't pay attention to little pieces until the plates this high and then it's overwhelming you know when you try to do something about it when it's piled up this high and all those little things or all the little things it kind of pieced together with could some really big things up here you know of course starting with you know the hurricane in a flaring in houston but i want you to be where did what's really important about this is and i think this is what caught my attention with this woman it wasn't a bunch of big things going on in her life it was shit little little little little little little and it just kept going and going and you know and it wasn't until she ended up you know really sit with her depression and anxiety that she was like breaking point and have goal is you know not to do that so let's get some little ones up here so you put you put clean up how about one of your little ones your every  there's something that goes wrong like if i have to mow and the motor is not working and you know you have frustration and not be able to fix things oh that's a good one yeah i'm with you there five weeks i think now his has been the loss of my golden retriever she passed away and of course before that was buddy you know before that was you know laura's dad so for me you know that losses just been a big big big part of it and then i'm going to say  me go into the hospital in covering for vacationing social workers and so oh my gosh it's exhausting you know but love it but still it's kind of those things you can love it but it could still cause you a great amount of stress and i think of this is these is two of the biggies yeah you know i'm going you know i'm trying to think about little ones and i probably i say probably get i probably get tagged more by the big ones because i'm going to practice what we're going t about are i'll be ok and that is this when you're dealing with a full plate the goal is one is what can we eliminate is there anything that we can prevent from kind of like so like waiting in line you know for some people that's one of the little things and it was one of my little things honestly but i don't do it anymore because i go at different times so i don't have to wait in line doctor's appointments waiting for doctor's appointments guess what i pick my time very specific so i don't have to do that yeah so i've tried to kind of eliminate it so i've really been able to eliminate a good bunch of the little stuff you know in my life and that i want to first go through this plate looking at is there anything up here that we could eliminate or change and quite honestly i mean i honestly think we need to take trips and vacation is is good so i can't we can't eliminate  that we can't eliminate other clean up this is other clean up others that's the clean up from angel up there but this is the you know others who can't control other people so we can't get rid of  we can't cross it off see any that we could cross off i would think so you guys you guys came up with some good ones it wouldn't but does that make sense how we could cross off some of those things well you're talking about your patient that had the little things the little just piled way tonight there are probably some of those little things that could have been done i don't know yes well and that is it you know kind of the goal is to avoid putting the little things on your plate in the first place right yeah you know that we can do we can't control other people other things but if there stuff that we can avoid it all together it never gets on the plate now going to get so so so first there's a void we don't have any we haven't come up with any that we could actually avoid so the next step is can we modify and honestly trippi can you know modify i mean there's things you can do to make it a little less stressful like like for example where the trip was going like isn't it hurricane season there so knowing that i had to not be as yeah yeah yeah yeah so i want to put an am oh here all right that's not  you can't see that and we see can you see this probably not all right so that's a m o meaning modify all right let's try this one i don't know my marker here you guys this one better ago all right and i'm saying m o because we're going to get down to modify or do we just have to manage what's left because those are the other two tools that we have we could it we couldn't you know can't but can we modify or manage it for water which when we got to do you can modify it i mean there's yeah yeah that has to be figured out that has to manage yeah meaning that you then have to do something stress and you know when it comes to like a modified can't fix like when when it was a few weeks in the i couldn't get the more fix it was like oh well yeah i'm let go of the fact that i i can't know what it's going to look the way it looks yeah well and in a sense i mean you couldn't fix it you couldn't change it but i want to say that what you did was you modified it because you said all right well can do it this week maybe next year you know and kind of modified it that way meds definitely and just made a phone call you know modify the stress source or manage the stress because you can't do anything about the source right those are ordinary chances all right health well guess what sometimes it just shows up you don't invite it right  you can't so again you julian put the ammo here for you because i know you had to modify your head right do what you can right to kind of limit the impact you know even me with depression because i do what i can to modify it so it doesn't run wild so insurance well guess what i hate to tell you this at this point you're left just managing it because you got it you don't get to choose sometimes we don't get to choose the plans we just are the recipients of the plans but so you kind of manage but also at the end when we kind of talked about which was also your meds i would also say that i was in ammo for you too because you commodify i'm going to try we this week was i kind of went in early enough i had to stay late it was ok so i built that into my time so when it happened i wasn't so upset you know in kind of struck by loss guess was i just managing to manage seeing the after effects of pain again i think if you can modify it sometimes we were talking earlier about how my girlfriend had nerve blocks she was on a whole bunch of pain meds and the doctor did these nerve blocks and now she's not on as many pain meds so i'm going to see both because it's also about managing this one gets what this one could be the avoid i really say to people don't ask yourself why you know don't i mean unless of course it's a pipe but a lot of times people say well why did that happen then i guess we're like ice is it you don't have an answer just accept and here we just get to manage because we can't even modify the weather  modify because i've always learned is that if you always do what you've always done you always get what you've always got because if nothing changes nothing changes so if i'm always cleaning up after somebody guess what they're going to do yeah have me clean up after them which has its limits  you know so if that hopefully does make sense you guys this is kind of how we do the full plate of stress we look at what can we avoid is to first up we look at what we can modify because it's present in our lives and then we look at we manage you know and those who are three choices in fact what i'll do is all type those solutions up and put them on a sheet of paper because we always like to have handouts for people if they're watching the show  and i guess i what i like to do is kind of wrap things up with coming back to what you started with about hurricane harvey you know and quite honestly it this point is just what really what can we modify you know  getting people safe to me is modifying but did a lot of it is you can't change you can't undo what was done and it's really trying to manage it the best that you can do and how that is it all helped that's what i did w to you know i mean i can turn the power back on and if you have no power then you have no water and then you know i kind of like my home but i think i think you know the other thing too is that how we can help and really the one way the really we can help is either by this yeah or also i had a girlfriend who went to katrina and volunteered to do some cleanup so so believe it or not ladies we gotta make a stop so thank you