michelle grandeur of care welcomes a positive energy and lightning television for the evolving soul when you're struggling do you ask yourself why do bad things keep happening to me and is life just a series of random events well according to my guest donal and savella author and intuitive coach every single major challenge we face is fertile soil designed for spiritual growth ready to learn more prepared to be inspired as positive energy starts right now so i am happy to welcome donal and savella to positive energy thank you michelle thank you for having me nice to have you here so your business is a serial wellness counseling and you're a certified intuitive life coach and are you vedic nutritionist and a yoga teacher and more and you've written a book called life lessons everything you ever wish you had learned in kindergarten what a great title thank you everyone can relate to so let's start with what your definition of a life lesson is so life lessons so my teachers i've studied with spiritual teachers for about twenty years and my teachers have taught me that we are here on planet earth as a school where we're only here to learn and so while we're here to learn we pick certain themes certain things we want to work on so these things are known as life lessons so it can be anything from patience to overcoming insecurity to learning to work through your  creativity to learning money and power how to manage that to learning to deal with integrity or self trust how to trust yourself how to trust other people so these are themes these are known as life lessons and so these life lessons they show up in our lives in the context of our hardships our challenges our difficulties so i tell my clients all the time i say you know when you're going through a hard time it's like the universe is whispering to you it's you're onboard with a life lesson so we want to get the lesson and then you want to get out but the mistake we may all too often in life is that we fall into the drama of the lesson we've gone to the heartache or the pain or whatever is happening and we sort of become a victim of it instead of getting the lesson and getting out and so we only end up repeating the last because unless you've worked through it the universe will give you another opportunity to work through it again so you'll attract another scenario similar to it so that you give another chance to work through it so life lessons i tell people you want to get the lesson and get out you do not want to be repeating this lesson it's a pattern so the sooner you get it the better because the longer it takes you to get these lessons the harder these lessons get because they start you know first of all they're harder to see you know all of a sudden you're going from like ok my shopping bag to a tiffany blue box and you would swear this is not the same lesson you would swear and then the consequences get higher because you know the longer it takes to get these lessons the essence of the lesson is the same as just disguised differently kind of shows up differently in a different  package and you usually know that because if you're in a romantic relationship and say you get betrayed or something like that when you lose that lesson the universe and you another person and i can't tell you how many times clients are crossed for me and they say can you believe i met another guy who's it's like the same let me think the same thing and i'm like it's not a coincidence like i say to clients i'm like this is one of your major lessons and they say i've been doing that for twenty years and i'm like yeah but you didn't need to tell you that you already knew you were doing your life is telling you that you didn't need me to tell you that you already knew you were doing it but somehow telling them that it's a lesson that needs to be worked through would not repeated and it's not a coincidence that this is happening for a reason now all of a sudden there are more aware now of this and they understand the need to really realize in why it's easier for someone to to tell us that because they're not in the in the thick of it but we all need to be reminded of that because that really is we're in those vicious cycles and we just you know this is it this is just my day to day life but the perspective you're talking about which is so absolutely invaluable is a higher perspective or a spiritual perspective it requires  step out of our lives and witness it a whole lot more and it's so much more empowered to think that it it's a lesson like school like it's not forever and we're not victim we're not tied to it it's all happening for some reason  this is not there's no accidents as we hear so often but it's true it's very you don't live that way as if it's absolutely true no it's very right and what you said actually is makes a lot of sense it's what i tell people too nothing happens to you it happens for you to learn and then you go and you make your life better because of it but you pay attention to your life because it's always trying to tell you something always always always and it and it tells you exactly what you need to  is always perfect too it doesn't make mistakes no either so whatever showing up currently is exactly in that precise divine moment of timing what you need the most to get saluted that's how it works so you work with people using this premise this ideology these ideas you know coming from these that those principles those spiritual principles and we even intuition because a lot of this comes from an intuitive base because it's not necessarily provable or it's not something you can really look up in a book so how do you help clients uncover those lessons and i guess within the same process  uncover their life purpose and their sort of what not really exactly want in the same life lessons life purpose but they're absolutely tied in yeah absolutely and everybody's path is different michel so and i think i have a very special methodology i have  i have a very special process that i use with clients and just like you're saying i'm and i'm going to have life coach so i am certified as a life coach but then i also bring to the table a special gift to that i have which i've been working on with my spiritual teachers for about twenty years it's to use my intuition so that gives me a little bit of an edge over other life coaches because it basically enables me to somewhat see other people's lives better than i can see my own so so that just gives me a little bit of an edge so when i sit down with a client i say to them come to the table and give me five issues or concerns you have going on in your life whatever it is it could be relationships it could be were just give me five  before you come in and then i said i do a meditation on them and then i just write whatever comes up for me and then the second part of this process is i don't know if you know this but everything in the universe comes down to mathematics numbers equations were all that that's numerology is so what it's all even more than that it's deeper than that we're all bound to the universe by numbers our existence in this universe and several other universes it's all about numbers now einstein understood understood this galileo understands this nasa nasa understands his numbers or everything so when we can start understanding the power of numbers we can start on locking in the power so numbers selves and numbers cause things to happen you're saying or it are they are mere or reflection or they're more they're sort of a blueprint i think understanding so th part of my process this is when i sit with clients i run a few equations on their birth date because that entry point to this planet is very very preordained and it's very specific for every person who comes in so i run a few equations on their birthday and i get a series of three or four numbers that pretty much tell me everything i need to know about a specific person's life lessons and parts of their purpose and so then i have a lot of information to work with so then i just sort of cross reference everything i say ok well this issue that they have is clearly this lesson and this issue is clearly this lesson and this issue is this lesson and then i add my intuition to what came up and then i have a pretty good understanding of what's going on with this person so then we just sit down and i say i'm so glad you're here tell me what brought you here and they start talking and then i get thoughts come in and then i'm like well let me help you out here this is one of your major lessons and then this is another one of your lessons and then all of a sudden all the issues and the problems that they thought they had they now realize these weren't problems at all these were opportunities for growth because these are their lessons these are  of unlike these are people you thought oh those do come in with yeah i'm like this this is exactly what's supposed to be happening you're supposed to have an issue with this what you're not supposed to be doing is repeating the lesson you're supposed to get the lesson and get out so now you know  lessons are so go get out and take care of it so they look at it like he did you know before because they think they're broken but i'm like you're not broken you're just you're not doing the work it's just they're like you mean it's not a coincidence like whole there's no coincidence in the universe if it's happening to you it's happening for you to bring you somewhere so these are problems these are these are just you know get through it yeah there are little this is what  came to this planet to learn so learned to move on so your life can be better go do the work well we're not we're not meant to suffer but we go through suffering is a choice suffering is a choice and from the soul's perspective none of it is none of it is suffering it's all just variety and it's contrast and it's just you know making the game interesting and making it intense for us you know as they say but it is a journey it's a journey it is a journey beautiful journey and it's ensuring ian chose for yourself you know so yeah it's all the time pay attention to your life it is trying to tell you something you're not a victim of what's happening to you because once you get the lesson get out your life gets so much better you're not meant to p p doing these things you're not meant to that's great that must take a lot of the a lot of the struggle out of it it can potentially if they empower ever clients can embrace yes that notion and i guess they'll embrace if they're ready to embrace it but i bet that it resonates on some deeper level anyway it has to because again we're all come from mccain same cloth and well you know i know what i know you know because you really are one in that way i would what people come to sessions with or seek out help with or struggle with and you know we've heard relationships have a lot to teach us that people we meet our teachers and i say that's my clients or they're like mirrors so that our relationships reflect sort of the parts of ourselves that either are or we think are broken or in need of healing or wounded or represent our fears and at the same time relationships also the licit growth from us they are our greatest you know platform for bringing our best self forward potentially as well so what are you saying general right about relationships in that context i can tell you honestly relationships are every thing there everything because you only know who you are in relationship to another human being yes so that's what makes all our relationships every one of them work siblings parents mantic relationships it makes them so important and it is specially puts the emphasis on romantic relationships because that's where we're the most vulnerable right and so when you look at relationships  we all have our life lessons and they show up as our buttons we all have buttons and when you're in a relationship with somebody and you're dancing with them their job is to push your buttons that's their job because dancing with them when they push your buttons it brings up your stuff it brings up your issues and it's supposed to bring up your issues that are out in the light how would you know where you're here to work if you're not in a relationship with another human being who's pressing buttons so i tell my clients relationships are button pushing contests that's what they are and so they pressure but it's not all your stuff comes up so now you'll look at it and you'll do the work on it but all too often we fall into victim place and we get angry because our buttons have been pushed so the one thing we're going to want to do is that i mean you made me mad or are you really upset me or you created this anxiety but it's not that person's fault for pressing your office or can do it is like it doesn't matter they do they need to be pushed to the starbucks clerk can do it but you only know who you are in relationship to another human being who's pressing those buttons so they come up it's highly unlikely if you were on a deserted island that the siegle flying by would be enough to press your body it's highly unlikely if you were alone in a solitary existence you wouldn't have a lot of opportunity to know who you are and what you're here to learn so that's why relationships are that far away ships are really you are mirrors in that way so they're beautiful how do you talk about it in terms of what we're talking about are sort of like almost like agreements you significant players in our lives have or that's been planned out that's your sort of gather that's your fate that's what will come to you what you do it is up to you have that's your free will because when you come down here you can change any and all of it that's the trajectory and that's really how we go about life lessons because you pick the lessons you want to learn before you're born and then you pick the soul who are going to dish them up to you and when you already chart that's all part of your chart so that's all set up for you then you pick your parents believe it or not because then your parents and the seeds of your life lessons are planted in childhood and then we spend the rest of our life overcoming them and then you wake up on earth with what they call spiritual amnesia and you forget we if we knew everything then there'd be nothing to learn here we wouldn't take this so seriously like i joke all the time because i know life's a game so i kind of like like ok i'm learning this whatever but for most people you have to think this is so real you know because then you really do the work and that's really part of it but like you're saying earlier so that's fate that exists but then once you're here you can change any and all of it whenever you want that's free well you're always in control of your life always by you can make any changes and the good news is that it's all they can't offer higher good it's all for love so even those people who are the most challenging force and really push our buttons love us it's an agreement of love they love us so much i tell people that they're willing to  willing to let us forget who they are and go through the pain because ultimately once you're through the other side of it what's available is so amazing the version of yourself and maybe attention to come through the other side makes it all worthwhile yeah absolutely yeah so it's grounded back a little bit i don't know to to live it here on her background level as men and women because you say maybe see a little bit more about when things fall apart people get so attached to the way things are and they fall apart when things fall apart but we're saying that it's beautiful gift it's opportunity for growth so what do you mean by that so i used to make this mistake a lot as i say i think when things fell apart that i was that i was losing something that i was wrong somehow or i was good enough and so i went through my own personal breakdown in two thousand and nine and i literally lost everything that a person could feasibly lose in an in like a six week period i woke up one morning and my magazine closed overnight that i worked at so we all lost our jobs and then i lost the man i thought i was marrying to another woman and then i lost my home because i lived with him and i had one hundred dollars in my bank account and i had to start over so i didn't know what to do and i really thought that things had fallen apart and i was being punished somehow and so that was a judgement and that was really an inaccurate judgment because what i started to realise in my teacher's help me with this is is that you can't lose what's real for you so if when things fall apart on you it is an indication that the foundation that you've created for yourself could no longer hold you it couldn't hold you so it had to give away and if you think about it it makes sense we're always growing and we're always the valving so there's no structure that's going to be able to stay with you right so has to fall apart but the beauty is you  appearance back together in a much better compositions so that now you have a stronger foundation to become a new person and and that's that is the gift because you wouldn't have lost it if it was right for you  sometimes we stay in a place too long that doesn't serve us so when the foundation breaks from out from underneath you you're like this is great now i can start over and for me especially i mean i thought i had a great life but when i look at it it really wasn't what i wanted and now everything falling apart on me unable me to recreate my work and my life to such a better level i would have never known so it's like that was the best thing that ever happened that you don't know what you don't know you don't know what you don't know any other way but the universe does you so it falls apart on you on like you let it go because there's something you're not seeing and there's something so much better for you you just open your eyes and find it that's it that's the complete opposite way of looking at it that it being the end of the world when something falls apart when you lose something it's the beginning and it's the beginning of something better is always available only even though you can always see it we were going off to be blind to  sometimes our loved ones can see it and friends can see it so we can see and that was your choice of jack yeah when things mean you write just when you're going to build a new house you have to clear the foundation of the old house if you really want to build something you know you have to r yourself of the rubble of the old very term so when that happens naturally that's our but that's a great tip let it let it happen naturally lead oh yeah and trust the process of your life it wouldn't be falling apart if it wasn't meant to be falling apart so in that as we reinforce the idea that we're not victims and none of this is happening to us it's happening for us and by us and we're the creators and sources of after the higher good what people come to you i'm sure thinking that they are a victim  first thing that you sort of tell them so i tell them what my teachers have told me is that there's there's only two people in life you're either a master or you're a victim but there's nothing in between and the victims want to say oh woe is me why is this always happening to me i don't deserve this and the masters say oh i get it it's happening for me to learn and then they go on and they make their life so much better because of it right and so you the to trick is to recognize again you may not be able to see that these are your lessons and that you're meant to be making your life better and you may not be able to realize that it's fallen a power fallen apart from underneath you that it wasn't serving you anymore and now it's time to build something new but you can start recognizing that it's not happening to you but for you you always want to trust the process of your life it's always happening for you to bring you to another place because clearly you're in a place you're not supposed to be and you just said it really beautifully when you said we're subjective we are very subjective especially when it comes to our pain and drama and the first thing we want to do is fall into that pain and the negativity of what's happening and we want to blame and we want to be a gry and we want to do all of this and so sometimes we can't see very clearly when it's our own lives like that you said that because what i tell clients is i give them a story about a rainstorm in central park because somehow we all understand how to conduct ourselves within the context of a rainstorm but we don't know how to do it with our  lives so if you're in central park on saturday afternoon and a photographer shooting you because you've got a big birthday party or something to go to and you're standing in on the great lawn which if you know the great lawn it's a big open area and there are trees around the periphery and it's sunshine in there take he's taking a photograph of you but then the skies open and it starts pouring really quick and you never expected it and you're not ready and now you're soaked what do you you do in that moment you have two option you're a master or you're a victim now the victim is going to be like oh i'm soaked look at my dress is a ruined what am i going to do my hair do you drop on the ground and start crying because now you can't go to the party like this and you look at it and then the photographers upset how much money you spent do you fall in the grass and start crying or do you just get up and run don't you just run for shelter because you don't want to get wet anymore and because you want to save whatever slashed right so the natural tendency of humanity is to want to be better we want to be better so the natural tendency is to be a master of your life and say i don't know but i don't want to be in this rainstorm anymore so i'm out of here and so you run for the trees and you run for shelter and then your life gets better because of it we can understand a rainstorm but then when the rainstorm happens in our own lives we don't always know how to navigate it and more often than not unfortunately we ourselves on the ground crying but you can't stay there because if you stay there you only get what you both it that's a that's a really a great analogy because we already are doing that we already listening to that still small voice this is ok get up you can do this keep moving go forward what can you do how can you say what's right about this situation and i think one of the most powerful things is just to ask the those in power and more powerful questions you know if this is happening for a reason or what can i gain from this and kind of go but that was so yeah and so i think it's great because we can break a lot of cycles just from talking about this because we're so conditioned to believe ourselves to be powerless you know so hopefully all of that is changing as we together we are gaining a more spiritual perspective on things i think yeah and i also think that there is consciousness on this planet is raising because you're starting to see more people into yoga into meditation  is there is a wanting to be more conscious of our lives you know that's why i keep saying pay attention to your life it's trying to tell you something it is trying to tell you something right so you know the name of your book again is you know everything i wish i had known from kindergarten so again thinking about this conversation as one as a whole who got a fold forward for people and this is a whole new way of looking at thing that things that is going to last how would you  press upon kindergartners if you had just one valuable lesson to share with them that they could carry with them always the kindergarten and all of us is listening well what would you say to them so kindergartner when you're dealing with children i mean honestly i think that life is meant to be simple and we complicate it our minds are so complicated and it doesn't have to be complicated what i would say to a kindergartner is all you need to know about your life is that life is a game it's a game it's a game it's a game and you are never going to lose it it's not about winning it only matters how you play the game and there's only one rule to this game just one and that rule is that you make yourself happy day in and day out it doesn't matter what you do it doesn't matter whatever you're feeling not so good your job is to make yourself happy whatever you have to do go still cookie go pull your sister's hair it doesn't matter is long as your and a happy space your life is going to change now that's all a child's needs to know but as that child grows they'll start to become an adult and they'll start understanding the law of attraction because everything is energy right and so when we experience positive emotions so when we're feeling happy and optimistic and excited about our lives our energetic vibration that's right and that's a beautiful place because now we're at the higher side of the law of attraction and so now we'll start attracting beautiful people and beautiful situations and and synchronicities that are happening just for you right that's if you're being the master but if you're falling into a victim pattern and you're falling into that lower negative energy and you're running a lower negative vibration with negative emotions so depression fear anger hate any of this when you're running a lower vibration you only succeed in attracting lower vibrational people and lower vibrational situations because like attracts like echoes back what we put out what you put out you get back so if you could tell a child that life is a game and the number one rule is to be happy whatever you have to do pick it up pick it up pick it up one of my spiritual teachers says all the time when you're when you're having a hard time suck it up buttercup suck it up and it's true because it's like well you know sort of shake it off you know shake it up exactly it's like you're not a victim find any reason you can't be happy just even for a few seconds and it will lift your vibration and when you're five ration lamps you get the benefit of attracting so much beauty in your life you'll never be sad so donald thank you so much for being on positive energy and thank you michel thank you for having me it was a pleasure thank you a few closing thoughts as we're wrapping up another enlightening show this is your life it's not a dress rehearsal don't let anyone keep you from following your dreams you have unique gifts and the world is waiting for them again it's your life start living it today if you like our show we share it thank you for watching and join us next time on that 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