you know when i first discovered serious scientists i was surprised to learn that up to that point no one had really investigated ways of helping people deal with it maybe you could tell us exactly what is serious itis and how  begun to research ways we can all deal with that well big question there i discovered serious scientists with a look in the mirror at one point when i realized that i thought i was smiling and i thought i was happy and i realized no nothing what's really going on there and studying certain books you know we've got a lot of education out there in the mainstream now and i looked at a book called by daniel pink that talked about mastery authenticity and purpose and i realized i was putting on a lot of masks and i wasn't really being my true self so i tried on my true self and i found that guy is awfully serious he stopped having any fun at all and i took the mirror and set the mirror down so i'd look at the world through a window and i realise i'm not the only one that has this and i started recognizing that other people who are major components of my life and people who i would just see at the store there was a face that have this little code just locked up there and i wondered why are they so serious and then i started thinking it's a disease it is they're not at ease with who they are they're not able to spread and he joined whatsoever i think that they're the people who are dream breakers when we get serious itis we become yeah butters or no butters sort of the whatever's those people have are looking for tomorrow they've got the disease of tomorrow it will be better then and so there's a whole series of symptoms that will point to the disease and over the years as i worked with the disease i found it is basically incurable it's much like alcoholism or diabetes but it can be controlled and that was the trick and so if you look  just a blanket serious itis what is it somebody is too serious what's what's the other side of that and the other side of it would be happy so i was fortunate enough in to run into a stand up comic that was laughing a lot and i can see he did not have serious side as all the time and the times that he was laughing and when i was laughing i didn't show those signs either so then i went to about developing a system or working or finding a system that actually worked from that to help handle serious i was i like to say cure but i think it's more of a handle so while you're yes people engage in this discussion it's really the ability to handle it  might be the most beneficial for them and why true very true yes having tools and getting the tools we all have the tools there just like we all have the same influences that created serious that is things that me contributed to or helps on the serious side is if you can talk a little more about that great well it all began in the beginning we're very small and we're very helpless and we're very dependent upon our parents there and as we evolve and as we grow that dependency becomes almost addictive in a sense we do we depend on them for food for comfort for love for caring the are necessary somebody to clean the eternal diaper that we've are wearing and at the same time we start gaining ability to make decisions we've seen it with small children so many times that something comes out of their mouth that you know my god though the words of children are linkletter made a whole show of that back in the fifty's and stuff so when you take a child that suddenly is making a decision about something that they don't know all the aspects involved in that it can become an imprint because of a childhood imprint and those childhood imprints are then become a screen at which we look through the world we want to be right small children like all of us want to be right we have we develop an ego and he goes i have to be right i can't make a mistake and i already know that so a small child will make that decisions from there before they have discernment or discrimination to tell whether they were actually involved in an incident or not for example mom walks into the room spills a glass of milk gets upset about it the child would think they did it they were responsible for it and they would start making him and so they could be imprint said i'm not smart enough i make mistakes i break things or the really sad ones are mom and dad are having a conversation in the vocals get a little bit loud and the child thinks it's their fault and they start believing there's not enough love in the world there's about thirteen of those imprints that start forming on children between the from conception all the way up till they start working with other children where they get the opportunity to learn ever people's beliefs to add to their imprints that are already there and so the process grows the beliefs and say perception so you go out there and you look at it and say yeah there's people are upset people are really serious in the world it's a really serious place to be that how i should be and they start imitating that out there pretty soon down the road it ends up with a a statement i love from mark twain i have met the enemy and he is me however i underestimated the numbers there turns out to be hundreds of us are overly serious all living in the same body fighting so it sounds to me as though you also have identified all of the i guess identities with each of us who have developed as a result of trauma or imprint very true very true i think most of us can recognize the inner critic right away the person that's  i say has the hammer the beach up your stupid randy your stupid you did this wrong you need to punish yourself for this well you knew my teacher and i went to the same school the school of on the other end of the spectrum this whole idea of yes and then adding more to that can you talk a little bit about that well that's actually a brilliant piece of work that kind of came to the mainstream in about the same time with certain psychological findings and also in the entertainment business those who are familiar with improv will certainly understand the yes and somebody your partner on stage makes you an offer and you take that offer you excepted and then you grow from that you and it instead of knowing it or seven but it yeah but the you know th classic line is we had a really wonderful time and went to the beach but it rained so you raise somebodies level of expectations of experiencing something that's fun exciting and not serious itis and then you slap it right down and say yeah but it rained and stuff so that's predominant in mainstream communication so the concept of yes and takes belief systems that may be misaligned of each other and makes it ok for them to exist allows them to be conscious you're able to see that you want to be rich and you don't like rich people suddenly are able to see that and something shifts something slightly shift and it's just an end you accept that you know and so once you start accepting something the next step is to be grateful for it change happens and you start moving in the direction you want to go so except the individual's truth and then rewarding it with gratitude is that if i'm hearing you right that's that's what you're saying i wish i would have said that i like that that's a very simple very concise and to the point yes and that's right randi you know gary one of the things you talked about was these imprints and to me they sounded a lot like trauma like some significant event occurred and perhaps not to the first experience of that trauma but maybe somebody tertiary person somebody was out on the edge of a small child somebody who really had nothing to do with it but they were traumatized by something they had nothing to do with  identify that in someone and find out it's trapped them into this sort of negative loop what are some of the tools we could use to free ourselves of those traumas well let me give you a semi demonstration here if you think about being scared what does your body do you think right you hold your breath you held your breath and you also held that trauma and emotional incident and you locked it into your body i think one of the keys was when i was working with my standup comedian friend with i realize that when you're laughing that belly laugh that goes on the real hard core at the end of the continuum of santa clause two and whoa whoa oh oh and there's an incredible number of laughing yoga classes laughing classes you can go to that people just laugh for no reason whatsoever what that does is the shoulders the back the spots where that trauma was held now starts letting go when you laugh the workshops that i've seen them do with this they're saying that in three hours they'll have one hundred eighty laughs and that small children will laugh between two and three hundred two hundred three hundred times a day where human grown human being if we get ten laughs and we've done pretty good ten actual hoho ha ha's there so that's one of the tools the deal with that another tool that i jump up on the shampoo box because i used to own a beauty salon and i don't just do the soap box shampoo box is that we may have our education system backwards we're dealing with a lot of testing and we want to test the children and i like to ask people when was the last time you used the quadratic equation i mean think never never yes that's been my experience also and i'm still waiting for the first person that will say yes they have those of us who've been in the sales business we found something amazingly true it's not what we know that matters it's the questions that we ask so that game that we played as small children twenty questions is one of the ways we can start controlling our mind so if we put an intention together no we want to cure or handle our serious itis you say well how can i make this fun so the power of difference so i don't ones life as a matter of fact i recall a book a friend of mine recommended called the magical question that when i first started reading that book i really never put it in the context of being a a way of working through things i didn't even know i had that were leading me to serious itis and now here you are many years later telling me that might have been a tool that i passed by and didn't look at seriously well if you're in my own serious science evening up an interesting point there when you say seriously because at some point serious ideas can be a tool or the seriousness can be a tool when you're looking at making that transformation from being trapped in serious scientists to being serious about the cure and so there's a shift you feel that shift on t continuum there and so you're serious about learning to ask the questions but learn to ask what the right questions on and of course in asking question there's that moment where you have to be quiet and listen to what the feedback is giving you there is this working or isn't this working is it moving towards what i want or am i still in that mode that the serious side is put since and i moving towards what i don't want and some day you wake up and turn to the direction you've been back in and you realise you're now what you never want to be you know gary it occurs to me as we're having this discussion that in this business that interviewing we're often scripting the next question while my guess is responding to something that i asked before i found myself being less than present is there some way turning the tables on that is there a trick to it i mean maybe it's simply just being present in the middle ages the monks for hair coats which are incredibly scratchy all the time they put rocks in their shoes they did everything they could to be mean to themselves so they would have to be present and enjoy the present and it's an interesting that presence and present it's are so similar there so sometimes it takes a discomfort but think in our vision of curing serious i miss the yes and part creates a huge amount of acceptance and it does keep away from that scripting that you're talking about it keeps you away from if you think you know the answer and if you think you have to be right you're probably wrong so sometimes the negative aspects of what's going on in our lives lead us towards the present because that's where we're have the opportunities that we have that's where yes and actually exists so the laughter is one thing that will help you answer the questions will be something that will help you putting your attention attention where you want it ever notice that i've i've worked with a speech coach and he says that public speaking fear the number one fear in america people would rather be in a casket than doing eulogy that if your attention is on yourself that's where the fear is but if you start putting your attention on your audience even of so audience of one you ready with my attention on you i have a lot of freedom to experience what's going on in me and be able to come up with these simple answers to the questions you're asking gary i i was really impressed with folks who had taken your class the transformational ghouls workshop and what they were able to report back about how they worked in small groups and uncovered things about themselves that quite frankly were surprised to them can you take us through a little bit of that process of course respecting the idea that what happens at the transformational growth workshop stays there and what is that called and how does that work well we call it a dyad where you're working with another person it's horizontal learning  somebody up on the stage lecturing where you're taking notes you're sitting down and you have questions you know one person that's asking the questions we make it very simple in the workshop what do you want then its respon we're looking for the experience of someone wants versus the story that may go on and on and get so complicated and drag it back down into serious itis what do you want we're looking for someone who wants happiness they want to cure they may want financial security they may want to know what their purpose in life is they want may want to know if they can create a how to create a relationship so that process dyad also works in the fashion that if you're the person that's asking the question and you have an intention and intention a reason why you're asking that person that question you start getting in contact with what we just quite simply just call your core this is w at your core there so the person who's asking the question starts getting at their core and they're helping the other person by having a certain presence about themselves that allows the other person to be safe feel safe in a community where they're able to say this is what i want without a right without a wrong it's just what they want gary is that they're out i guess a segment of society a certain amount of people might find it easier to say i want world peace arrive wants something they expect the other person might like for them to say versus maybe what they really want and we talking about pleasers here randi i think we yeah we want to give the answers that somebody else wants what she got the answer she gave the answers of what you aren't and i know you are a valuable person in the world i'm a valuable person in the world to knowing what i want is adding to the world it's yes anding again and so gary we've had this transformational goal seminar series going for a while i think over a year isn't it yes and you've had quite a few people come through the system and i as i mentioned before if spoken to many of them and they're very they found it thought provoking they found it like discovering parts of themselves they didn't know existed how is the change from the early days when i know you were doing all day seminars of you continue that plan are you doing weekend workshops exactly what does it look like well i believe that we're reflecting more what society has gone into we are a quicker society i can say we have less attention but i like to think we are quicker society we're able to pick up things quicker we have a lot more balance in our life that we're looking for so we get somebody to spend six hours on a saturday or four days to go to a workshop and to spend large amounts of money for it that's not what the public seems to be looking for we're looking for like quick fixes i'll bring up the social media things twitter twitter and and facebook those things snap snap that's who we've become right or wrong that's not a decision that i'm about to make but it is a decision that was helpful in saying we've got three hours you can give yourself and it's a gift it's a gift a presence it's a present to yourself for three hours to go in and say i want to learn how to separate myself from my behavior i think if they're telling me right they're saying i'm not a noun i'm not a fix object i'm a verb i've ever changing all the time let me take a look at that and find out which part of it is working and which park is giving me won't say the word problems that's not hip anymore which part is giving me challenges there and that's the first one we work with the second one once you have the ability to separate yourself out without judgements well let's check in to see what's in there what your beliefs about life about your skills about your successes mom about dad because they're still around they're part of those identities that exist in this is there any unresolved issues there and you're in a safe confidential situation where you're able to look at that and work with another person who's just like you that came there with the same intention that you did in the third part we find here's those childhood imprints here so it's believes you're so so identities just like everybody else we have them we can look at ourselves and say there's an identity in ourselves that's a victim but there's also a lot of the devotees in ourselves that are healers who want to work with us that's just the first three well so you've broken into three different sections well actually there's there's five different sections the fourth one we actually open the tool box and we put a couple of new tools in that you've never heard of before we had a lot more laughter and we laugh at the only person we can really laugh at who's the person in the mirror ourselves yes that's so true that is so true and that starts breaking down some of those barriers for chipping away at that trauma those that we created as kids you've seen them all the time if you look at people holding their postures and stuff gravity's winning sit up straight drink lots of water the could be the whole answer period in these classes if you had occasion to have multiple family members come to the same class and were there i don't know perhaps discoveries about how they impacted the other member of the family and to your good at this that's probably one of the most unique situations we've had we've have a mother daughter husband wife those things where five mother and daughter where the daughter found the childhood imprint and then the mother realized they had passed that imprint down it was the world is not safe and they're a family that you do not they're not god side they're all alone live in a beautiful cul de sac in a very safe area you do not go out the back yard about locking the door you have to be safe all the time so yeah that's your true that's very true that way and it's amazing when family members can start teaching each other when people who don't know each other start coming together and giving him the insights to handle their serious scientists it almost sounds like this class is an opportunity to create an extension of family that as we all try to get a grip on the serious side is we find people who can help us who will be in our corner to remind us of some of the tools we might have do you keep up with your students once they leave or you know the class is over so they move on well these are when they've now become half the people i'm sure you're the same way you want to hang out with happy people people who take responsibility who see that this is what was and this is where they want to go and we're helping each other get there were ambassadors to each other's success we're enjoying each other more we're being able to be more present as we get closer to the end of our broadcast i wondered if there wasn't a few things that you felt like you wanted to communicate to our audience about ways they could improve their lives perhaps by joining one of these transformational goals seminars information but more important than that is engaged people get out there and engage people when you go to the store and gauge to check are there when you see somebody that you don't know engage that person step out of the closet that you've hidden in take off your furry slippers put on your tennies get out there and run out and meet people because people will help you cure your serious side is and you will help them we need each other