everybody jodi tobit sweet to me divorce to court where house becomes a home a mansion feeling homeless in your own home looking around and nothing feels like it used to wee to me helps divorced kids and their parents feel comfortable and happy in their new space as they transition from weed to be married to single by restoring a sense of permanency and emotional wellbeing through the uplifting power of color design and laughter speaking of laughter we're going to laugh a whole lot i can already tell and i have somebody on that's very special to me john lando who is world renowned teacher extraordinary i'll tell the story but i think he saved my life he doesn't know it but it's true and i he's on because it's all about transition and i came into your life and you came into my life i should say really didn't even notice me at first when i was going through a real tough time and i found dance as a source of all over the world all over the world i judge and compete as well and i coach couples and swing dancing my specialty is west coast swing yes which is really fun dance to do sexy sexy sexy sexy dance fun dance that allows you to transitioned yourself i did it you were not always this world famous i'm talking world famous because this is my fifth time trying to get him on the show i'm sorry jody i'm in germany i'm in paris i can't you know sorry sorry yes we you know it's funny because you know i always don't know people's names but i remember a certain character about them and there are two things about you you are very bubbly and you and you were the lady with the bracelet oh the mice last we are a member you know i mean for the beginner class and my gosh yeah and i was so in awe of you and i in the day on set and i started off with another wonderful teacher dayanara lily i cheers to her were in hospital which is really cool and i and again i came in a real  about your transition which is so cool so my business you guys know what i do so i am sitting at lunch with this guy i can't say his name because he didn't give me permission but it's a financial person and i'm talking about way to me what do i do how can we work together weird and i think i might know who this person is that because i was have the greatest teacher and i love what he's teaching and go to with any new jersey with the new jersey and he says ok is name john lando and i said wh know i had i used to work corporate i work opera for seventeen years on the it was all a nominal at i love my job and i loved working for a huge big technology company and i looked corporate because it was very structured i would get up in the morning i'd show up at work i knew i knew what i had to do and i loved my team that worked for me and i loved the team that i worked with so it was great so but yeah it was it was it was a phenomenal time for me to work for eighty and have the privilege of meeting such great people but then you know things change and you know life happens and transition is not always easy it's not it's not but it's a good story because that's what's cool about you is we just had cathy rich on business and we're just coach you her we went to terrible transitions it was very hard it was terrible you were transition is kind of like you went from lemons to lemonade and then lemonade to learning cello i know realize the impact that your dancing is had yeah it's really happy it's a cool sexy dance you're an amazing teacher by the way core a personality funny kind but you don't understand that when people sometimes leave your class or your social event and go home you you've done something amazing for them and i'm only speaking for myself but i would come to your class sometimes and such a bad time for me and i sometimes could barely afford the admission right in the beginning and i would go home feeling so good about myself and feeling so happy and have this this passion to learn something that i just couldn't get out of my head off of and you brought me and still do bring me so much joy yeah part of my job as a teacher is to person we're now you know but i just love sharing that passion with people that i think you know kathy had said this before that you get one life you know and and that's it so you get one life so you you got to make the best out of it and so for me i like to tell people that hate just to smile and say hey and my socials that i put on i like it to be very inviting for people i like it to be a safe space for everybody if your if you i don't know if you don't know this but every time i finish teaching my class and the social want people to dance with the b m you know and i you know and i have my friends who come to the dance that i picked up yeah if i see somebody who's been sitting there as a little bit longer i go it's not person to dance because i want people to go home feeling that they had another interaction with another human being in there was a good one and it's so important especially if you are going through a transition like divorce and in the community we talked about it a little earlier with cathy yes richie business and wellness coach how important it is to let's be clear you don't go i don't think people go dancing to really pick somebody up there's no hook up top it's not calm i mean i've had i've had students who have actually met and gotten i mean yes that's different different but they both came as single people and they met beings yes so you're not sitting at home by yourself and not feeling like you're alone that you know there are other people and it's also a place that you can come and you can be whoever you want that's right like i've had people come to the dance and give this persona yeah that they're completely different than what they are at home and they love it because for them it's like playing a car yes they come to the socials they even sometimes give a different name and it's works for them it's a different character that they've built it's and it's a different persona because maybe it's their you know inner inner in or ego that they want to bring out that's going to be more powerful than it is at home yeah so i think it works absolutely definitely works and we judge no one we judge no one and we welcome everybody we welcome everybody into our into our dance community and it is a community because it really is once you get to know people you you you feel like you are there and you are bubbly every time on the floor you're smiling and even if your partner has no clue what they're i don't care you don't care i don't care and i love that they i mean i've seen a few people sometimes give out this look like how long is this going to last and you know just have the about how you look don't care about if your partner thinks that you're taking the wrong step who cares oh n f l or so what again who cares if they are this happen occasionally does the dance community in general is i want to tell everybody out there if you're thinking about if you're going through a tough time you're thinking about doing something this is a really cool brave thing to do and this is the man to teach you i one time brought someone for the first time to a west coast of van coast event and they really want to and it was not you that's all i'm because i you know i do love to dance i just you know i don't care about being on the right for it or you know i just enjoy dancing and people look at me and go do your big guy and you can then so and i have and i've had people come to me and say my son is a big guy and he i never i never ever tell my students that they can't do it oh it's everybody's very inspiring being around you know everybody can do it everybody feels here are the things that i love about you know everybody feels welcome that's important you know west coast swing feel like oh god you're so you're never going to do this you know you never do and you always have a smile on your face and you dance with everybody and if someone comes up to you you say yes there there are some times once in a while teachers in the dance community where they just they don't wan is a beginner and they don't i am all there i am there with a smile on my face because one time i had an incident not in west coast swing and salsa with a very famous teacher that i loved you know one  fantastic and i dance or one of his pupils and i did not know any salsa and the person and the guy left me in the middle of the dance he goes he goes like this he says when you can learn when you know how to dance i'll dance with you and walk up the floor and the next time i told i was just s saw one and i told him and he said oh my god i'm mortified he says he's one of my students and i said well i don't know but he said that i should go to you for lessons i don't know if he's one of your students he said i would never and he's a great also very nice person and i and then she turned around with the dance with she did not say song that's wrong very wrong and i was like but i'll tell you to this day i will not dance with her you should i go whoever you are out there so every time is that person is feeling wonderful and maybe that person just got through with a divorce well loss ask about the loss of a star someone in our you know in our in a group i know that that's happened to her and she comes and it feeds her human interaction yeah so there's a lot of people who just you know get on the computer or they try to be at home and watch t v just really getting out and make just isn't moving you know getting in that exotic let's touch just contact right just that i got i got let's go let me sadly because i love animals with monkeys being born and never having contact and they die it's really awful people need that and i've been on that were you more we needed and i have and somebody has done just dance with me and they have no about your transition is you know you it's just as hard to leave something happy to do another transition as it is in like one case leaving something not happy and transitioning it does it's takes as much strength  you tried something in china and you were the person to try it with i do like to think i am because you like to make everybody feel welcome no you really really do and i remember the first time i asked you to dance you don't know how long it took me to go over i was actually joe my friend joe to puke all over you know i was so nervous and he said sure and the night was going and then you came off to dance with me and somebody else went up and said can i have a date once and hugh said i'm sorry i promised her a damn feeling and maybe you're already feeling badly about what you know your marriage or or losing someone you love and now you need that you need it but the great thing as i would say that ninety five percent of the dance community maybe even higher is welcoming that's the whole point is taking that chance it is taken that you're right and it's a big step like you said whether they're going through the boards or whether that you know one of the things i love about one of your shows that i watched will you watch  most comfortable shoes and some put you out of them that's different i was buying them this is the coffee table could be from the marital home which is causing them stress and so what happens oftentimes is people bringing everything in zero one need a coffee table i need a bed and they forget that maybe it's the you've got the coffee table on your honeymoon maybe the mattresses is around maybe had yeah maybe you have kids on that mattress or you know made that i love that i love yeah you got divorced and you got a divorce table gives you another chance to go shopping that's right and shopping is also there's nothing wrong with shopping people love shopping and i think it's a very important thing to go shopping that's hugely important and what i tell people to which is also and kind of like a new thing you can repurpose what you have sometimes sometimes i go around and look through a house and say oh yeah you know that thing is old and tattered you know what let's take it outside spray painted cobalt blue and now we'll put it in your bedroom instead of in your dining room and all of a sudden it's a happy thing because maybe it has it is an uplifting memory you know i had a client who just lost her husband and we were going through the house and she had this very tattered easy chair it was a mess and we had picked a whole new color palette for her new place she was downsizing and i was very careful because i know how people are about their things and i said to her faith you know well this this doesn't really go on it's kind of beat up and she burst into tears john she was  crying it turned out that was where her husband of forty years did his crossword puzzles and i said ok so you know we're going to do when to take that you're going to make it a focal point in your spit your new space when you go to calico corner when to recover it and you're going to have it and and it's something that now she'll she'll look at and a reminder of something every single time and she can even sit in it and get like almost a nice warm hug from him and these are the things that are really important you know about making people feel good in their space or making you feel good not having a good day and just to have an opportunity to have the human touch like you said it is and is so important and just to come out and take it with friends yeah i mean and this is why you know i always tell people you know like people who say to replace these are these are priceless moments yeah and sometimes you need to just get away like oh yeah people in oh sometimes i've home you know you're having a really rough day yeah and you need to just get away and go do something that just takes you away from that you know space that you need to just leave for even if it's just for two hours it doesn't matter and doesn't mean it may not your problem might not be gone but you'll feel better about it i mean if it isn't gone like i used to say in the beginning when i'd have really rough time