the fighters held out for almost two weeks before the camp was occupied by the time the israeli army withdrew its an account over sixty palestinian men women and children had been killed thousands of men rounded up and detained and over four hundred homes demolish my name is cleaver i lived in geneva fiji count for the year of two thousand and two and this year i was to witness not only the brutality of the occupation but also the resilience hospitality and humanity of the people who refused to be broken face of the west one of humanity and solidarity we come to occupied palestine to independently witness the realities of the occupation and to challenge the silence surrounding thirty year old widow her husband was a rest and then executed during the massacre she struggles to provide for her six children and to cope with the long loneliness of living without him and then you know a few seconds later you destroy a whole for life try to provide some emotional support to families as a grief and to be there for friends and they're paying as the months went on and i integrated into the county the people around me became like family i internalized a lot of the pain and trauma i was witnessing leaving was no longer an option for me i felt a responsibility to stay was janene had become my home but it was a dangerous fire on crowded marketplace and increasingly more stores they see my face on the every day basis as they get to know me by name and nationality and presence i think that in some ways that that sort brutality towards me personally you know and the fact that they're not afraid to be me at this stage and in the very symbolic acts such as throwing stones at me in the name calling you know in the threats the death threats that sort of voice to me on a continual basis i was comparatively lucky the bullet had passed through my like and i could walk again within a month on the same day as i was shot un consultant in hook and eleven year old mohammed were both shot seven other children were seriously and the amount of press attention i received impressed upon me the racism of the mainstream media that a bullet in my leg listed more press coverage than the death of an eleven year old child i was overwhelmed with the number of visitors and physical well being but also the fact that because of what i've witnessed here that it's very important to be an advocate for people here who have been made it's very important to do the talks and their campaign work on the outside witnessed over the following months i spoke at over two hundred schools universities and public meetings in europe i tried to do justice to the resilience and endurance of palestinians and urged people to mirror palestinians determination with the determination of  my journeys continue i was invited to india to speak at universities and meet with trade unions to talk about the need for grassroots solidarity with the palestinians miriam my friend's mother who was killed in the massacre being labeled a european a hero for me it was intensely humiliation because i'm not you know because i think there are millions of both heroes or not heroes you know resilient human beings who graced the face of this planet who would never be honored with such an award and you know i didn't see it as an honor coming from time being labeled a hero and i certainly don't see myself as one  i think you know that the whole label is counterproductive it puts i think acts which are very basic and very necessary and very simple and sort of an attainable platforms for a lot of people if it's deemed heroism it seems almost subhuman you know it doesn't seem normal i felt that in accepting it on behalf of miriam alicia hey my his mother that because she was a friend first of all that i was honoring her life and her death you know and her narrative that had been silenced in the western media you know and in a very personal way i also felt that she was emblematic you know of so many deaths you know of casual killings of intended killings that go on at it every day basis in palestine and you know the fact that she bled to death the fact that i haven't read of her name outside of human rights reports in any international publication since her death i felt that i was bringing a part of janine with me that night you know with her photo you know that that in the midst of i think a lot of sort of champagne and you know high high living like it was for me bringing a sobering reminder of why it was there which was her death her life what she's left behind you know there are thousands of palestinian refugees also living in iraq it was through working in these camps and listening to people's stories about exile that my own desire to return to janine was reinforced but getting back into palestine was not going to be easy the went to offer my condolences to her family and to stay with them as they waited for the bulldozers do the tragedy of her family being left behind you know her mother that first night before she slipped into the rhetorical you know of of praising her as a hero you know saying that that you know more than nationalism she traded all just to the choice of people to do it i think it's desperation and it's also a political act the fact may be that she was a woman an educated and you know a seen it or heard it described in you know on the outside as a she had her whole life ahead of her she didn't really have her whole life ahead of her you know she was beautiful in education and you know had already lost an eighteen year old brother who was killed in front of or you know had already witnessed things that would probably break you know the the strongest of hearts and psyches in any other country  and what future did she have you know she had a suffocating occupation and she had you know another how ever many years to live you know witnessing brutality you know and violent death after violent death around her israelis hold the key you know to their own liberation of fear in their back pocket it's a very simple solution it's an immediate end to the occupation and that's something that i think you know is distorted in the narrative when it's referred to as a conflict or to a war as if two equal sides two equal partners starring caged in more fire you know it's mythmaking that nice israeli soldiers arrived at three in the morning and bulldoze the family home house demolitions are a form of collective punishment the following day curfew is reimposed under curfew life grinds to a halt with people kept prisoner in their own homes for fear of being shot if they venture out the most basic aspects of life become impossibly difficult schools and universities are population with the possibility of marine base any time basic acts of existence become incredibly dangerous people frequently risk their lives even going out to buy food on this occasion in summer her daughter and i are walking