is designed to promote a better understanding of islam and muslims and god willing i hope we are fulfilling our commitment to you the viewer tonight we have a very interesting show especially for women tonight we will discuss the muslim woman in the modern world of today tonight joining me my special guest is just afraid to have kim she is a housewife she is a working professional and she is very active in the muslim community today she's been western special topic because there are a lot of misconceptions about the role of a muslim woman and i couldn't think of a better person to talk about this than you and i'm so glad you've joined us and st of all i just want to solicit your necessity or out of wanting to do it it's a challenge so they can promote the role of women very effectively in no matter what they choose to do as a professional says housewife says sportswoman less because of being a woman yes to face the challenges ahead there are tremendous challenges and especially women who have been able to excel in the western world let's talk a little bit about this from women what is the role of mus women in modern society today for myself and muslim women in general yourself for myself i see first and foremost to be what it is in islam for a muslim woman to be supportive of the husband and the family on an equal part for the founder you and it has been in the father being the head of the household and to be providing counsel when necessary for out of the four walls of the house to be working mother or a wife and not to forget the intent and purpose of raising the family and being a family person  and let the career or the world outside exceed that limit of being a muslim woman so to go back to the question of being seen myself as a muslim woman i feel i can interact with them freely oh yes as he said been fortunate in having many good friends since i've come to this country as well as before where i did not feel because of there being non muslims  one another and they've gone out of their way to help me and be just friends and not regard myself being muslim come and away as a barrier in fact myself being a muslim have learned a lot and we've shared how many things we had in common from their beliefs as who they are and most of these friends are christians and we went back in studying how c know in your interaction with non most people do they ever ask you about wearing a scarf for traditional and if they do what are your responses usually to them how do you portray yourself to them actually  at work especially during the month of fasting they were understood that this was a particularly only for the month of fasting and when that was completed the said i'm going to take a scarf off i said no disses the form of the dress code it out of places i used to think in this society where the majority do not wear the scarf for the dressing will i be out of place when i draw more attention to myself and for the muslim woman i think the major concern for me was not drawing attention to myself in how i dressed and how i acted and how i spoke so if i dressed differently from them then i thought to myself that's drawing attention so what do i do i was in why do with it i cover my head wedding jacket and a long tunic how would it go and then once that st step was crossed how do i look and that was not the concern but keeping my stomach coat to keep your identity of who you are no matter where you are it's very important as a muslim woman and they respect you for that and the interaction has been extremely positive in the cafeteria one day they were concerned for me to say  been approached or you know looked at in a way that brought out any other issue has been in fact i feel kind of safe and i find a lot of advantages keeps the wind out of my hair when the weather gets inclement i don't have to look for something to put on my hair when i have time to pray yes it's there all the time and i kind of feel protected in many ways and feel whole some say your experiences are very enlightening i appreciate you sharing that with us no you are coming from a traditional culture you were not born in this country are raised in this country though you were educated in a western way coming from those traditional backgrounds from that culture what were some of the challenges that you faced coming to this country what way as a woman coming from a traditional culture as a woman coming from a different way of life to a new way of life here in the states what are some of the challenges the woman faces coming from the society of iran or pakistan where that what is the new world challenges facing for myself personally i felt biggest challenge was i could hindrance to say or i cannot perform i cannot be a muslim woman here because a where i came from and in many other respects i find iran and pakistan of those two countries i mentioned as a choice iran i worked for two years and that's where i was raised and educated in fact they judge you there in a way which is different than being here here i'm not judged for what i am over there they have a criteria for which they judge women cultural criteria criteria and they expect them to perform certain roles and dress and act in a certain way and that i find the freedom extremely well come over here that i'm not judged on those lights and that we have to make the distinction between the cultural background what i come from and the truly make life and those i think it kind of mixed up i think it's very important that you bring or things that they're not allowed to do they think is how it isn't a stop to listen to them that that is just a tradition of that country and it has nothing to do with it was interesting because when i went to speak to my interesting questions they had and after the introduction was over when the time was given for them to ask questions one of the questions they asked it's about how saudi women are not allowed to drive sure it was very important to them was how the saudi women are not allowed to do certain things and that gave me an opportunity to explain that's not truly slavic and rightfully so in this country and see so many of us drive work do everything we can do or want to do it's a very important distinction that you bring up and i hope it will enlighten people and want them to see more knowledge about islam and what is true correct islamic law in china i know your role is also as a housewife what are some of tremendous and as parents we can control to a certain degree what they watch on t v and the kind of recreation that is open to us and that has fought at all levels at home because they meet their friends who was bill cosby on that same time frame i chose to watch cosby with them and it was entertaining and some of the values again came through as common to what we are peddled so you want to be a joy to children yes very much so in a way so we can in to the degree i said let me watch it with him and discuss some of the things which are not or what their project and program and it's ok all the things which we talk about  i kind of kind of let him watch it the ten year old so that he's not out of place with this offense but in the other way i use it in a positive way to discuss with him what's not islamic about that program and some of the things are funny some  let it go at that and that's the only way we can monitor the t v programs or such but when they go to schools and they meet with friends from other backgrounds or it's very difficult  but the schools are also becoming very aware of all the progress problems there and difficult enough material available to them and positive way of reinforcing how to conduct themselves and what to do that that helps but i think if we as groups of people living in this country find opportunities with the children can interact with each other and share the basic values and common that would help them and that's my main concern how to engineer or create a situation where they interact with most from children from their own background who are born here and raised here  in the community center to give them more opportunities to interact we meet with like minded families who share the same concerns i think we go a long way in making them feel that they belong and they can share and they can be effective as who they are as muslims yes well i don't often feel left out and sure and your aspirations to sit with your children monitor t v programs and be aware peer pressure these are all concerns that every mother should have absolutely or their success and failures of raising children here and things that you encounter dealing on a day to day basis oh yes very much sell and as i share my concerns at work with other mothers  and raising children is far more difficult than that st process we go through and it's challenging here in america to raise kids as much as anyone else and in the world that take i don't think any different yes it's how much we each want to put off ourselves in raising the children giving our time to them more than toys than more than all the material thinks that they have over here that's all  plants in the garden that's how another very respected muslim friend of ours said when i told him i have very little time for gardening and i have a little time to do all this and he had this time in his life was retired and he said think of it that your children like that you give them the right nutrients for growth and they will just like you feel the lack of working in your garden and that stays in my mind quite a lot and my focus now is how can i let them out there on their way get back to doing my garden as well or do it i'm sure and enjoy all those pleasures as well as a beautiful example thank you what does the future hold for muslim women in america is this the land of opportunity for muslim women yes it is very much so and so on earth each of us has the power to reach the heights of achievement in every aspect i think we are given that trust when be a creative to use our time our knowledge whatever talents that has blessed us with each of us and not the same for everyone sure so whatever we each have we can contribute to benefit ourselves out there in terms of being professionals in terms of being professionals higher education anything and everything avid sports women any career they want to choose any anyone they want to be and that's possible here and that's the future it holds for them so the only thing that we can see in a restrictive sense is just the code of conduct is that right restrictive sense and the code of conduct aware of it these are the limits yes and within those boundaries and limits we have the freedom of choice yes most of our young folks feel there is no freedom of choice in this kind of considerate very  strict bringing of how they need to be stomached lee but once they realize their limits and not transgressing those limits in their respective parents and their parents in how they conduct themselves it's individuals as being responsible around the house how they contribute to society or to the community and then within that framework they have the freedom of choice to choose the careers they want to marry who they want but keep say yes they are free to speak they are free to express themselves but not to again transgress the limit of being disrespectful sure and as a muslim parent it's very important that they know one of the basic commands is to listen and obey your parents and that in itself sounds restrictive is there nothing they can do which they can choose everything they have to listen to their parents and everything they have to obey and if they don't disregard it on the very highest level of committing a major sense sure and for long i toyed with the idea of how to come across to them because that does seem extremely restrictive let us choose the word for the loss of a better one and in no way it makes it very peaceful if you follow how you have to submit to the will of allah if this is so you listen to your parents and obey your parents unless they are going against your religion yes and then if you have questions  corrected as well but that does not undermine the fact that they have to be disrespectful or argue or shout or correct the parents who disobey them because in a way they are harming themselves because that's not following what allies commend them to do so that awareness needs to be there and raising the family in raising the children those basic values i shared with them right from the start and with the parents and the children that makes what i think the task becomes easier i think your rights as we kind of wind down the program it was important to me to ask you as a muslim woman do you feel fulfilled in life oh yes as he is very much so in every dimension of your life every decoration yes definitely here more than anywhere else and my objective is to benefit myself and others to fulfill the trust that i love has given me how to be  a sharing caring person how can i contribute to the benefit of myself my family my children and the community well from my vantage point i think you are contributing a lot to share a lot of things with me that i didn't know about show and i'm glad to learn and i especially appreciate your personal things that you've shared with us because the majority of our viewers are interested in what you have to say today i've got a lot of mail and women are interested in hearing