welcome to today's program and thank you for joining us i am michele tillery the vice president of the national backed leadership commission on aids sitting in for c virginia fields the president and c e o of the national black leadership commission on aids incorporated the mission of the national black leadership commission on aids also known as in block a is to educate mobilize and empower black leaders to meet the challenge and fighting hiv aids and other awareness day according to centers for disease control young people make up nearly one quarter of new cases of hiv diagnosis is in the u s per year eighty one percent of those cases were among  field of hiv aids she is the former medical chief of renaissance healthcare network today she runs her own medical consulting company and currently serves as a block is medical director welcome dr long and thank you so much for joining us here today st tell us about how you st became involved in the fight against aids hiv aids epidemic in looking very ill and i was wondering why i was there and then in the main nine hundred and ninety s i started to see another version of the epidemic when i was working at one of the city hospitals in the bronx and when we were there we saw a lot of drug use people coming in very ill and all kind of infections that we didn't really know anything about and it was a challenge for us to work every day because half of the time we didn't know what we were treating and then you saw the other side of society from the private hospitals versus the public hospitals in how they're living in wards and you see them going through all of these changes and then you started to hear things about hiv and people were talking about p c p and those  things that impacted you as you start to go along so that was what made me in the end come back to hiv wow thank you for sharing that with this based on weight you witnessed at the beginning of your career as you just told and people because it had to do with sexuality people were really very not nice about the things that they would do and say in the ninety's you could see the fact that people were not allowed to go to barber shops people who are not allowed to cook for you sometimes when they would go home to their families their families don't want them to interact with the other children in the family and a lot of things you know serving them separately on paper plates where everybody else is using dishes those are the kind of things and then you have problems with people you automatically assume that you have done something wrong that's the reason why you ended up with hiv not looking at it it was just a sexually transmitted disease so that's what you see  so why do you think that s t d rates among young adults are on the rise in today's times because even though we have treatment and even though we have education people hear what they want to hear sol the messages are out there every time you turn on the t v there's something about a cd there's something about treatment is something about it but people don't want to hear it they want to live their lives there's too many restrictions so what people want to do is to do what they feel they should do and they figure i'm going in my circle of friends anyway and i'm dating only certain people so why would i get an infection because i know the group that i'm interacting with and the group i interact with nobody has an as i mean it just by what you just said a little bit in the last question i would think that you run across many different young people who may be surprised or feel like how did this happen to me so the problem with young people remember when we were young yes we were invincible we could do anything and no one could tell us anything and we can overcome everything so that's what we have with young people is not that they don't understand that they've seen their dairy moon they're young these things don't happen to them because they're young so they're in relationships but they don't see them as relationships i'm just dating i'm just kissing i'm just touching i'm not really doing anything it's not one of those kind of things so why would i get in this in this person is in class with me they go to school with me i hang out with their family we play basketball together nobody's thinking about what is behind the relationships that they're having and the fact that they're becoming more and more sexually active and because they're not looking at it from that point of view they think it's ok for them to have sex with this person this weekend that person that we because we're all together because when you're young if you start to become sexually active you usually don't stay for one partner you have multiple partners and they don't understand because you are sharing each other again that's something that they don't think they're doing but you are sharing each other in a group and so since you're sharing each other one person's question is then you transfer from one spot to the other so it's more than just touching and kissing because like a young lady was very surprised when she got pregnant in a swimming pool or why your in water and so therefore the person  next to the area of your anatomy is just swimming upstream it went upstream you end up becoming pregnant but you go but we didn't do anything but yes you did you were being intimate and people don't understand as long as you're intimate you can transfer different infections that's interesting i've never heard anyone explain it in that way about those challenges that you and me have but what do you what do you other than them having relationships with each other and believing that you know this is my friend i grew up with this person i know their family and just thinking that they're just doing things that young people do and having fun what are some of the specific challenges in addressing d s and you of color in new york today of today what i think were more worried about is the fact it's who are you dating a lot of the kids are now dating outside of their immediate circle and you're dating people who are older see a lot of the relationship is with a young person and an older person a person that's four or five years older is more sexually active than the younger person and their experiences and the infections that they may have they're going to bring it to this younger person this person doesn't understand that that person is more experience so therefore the exposures from that person's now become your exposure and then you're still interacting with your group and now you're spreading things from one thing to the other also all kids are drinking a lot more you know they were drinking in the old days and they still going to drink the same percentage of the population is still drinking but now a lot of them are drinking more to escape and if you every time you turn around i laugh because i see all the commercials and it's time you see a group of young people together there has to be alcohol ok they're smoking marijuana they may use coke sometimes but for the most part they're always doing something where they want to be free they want to loosen themselves up and that's one of the things that i worry about is like how little still you want to be because with drugs and alcohol and you're under the influence your inhibitions are loosened to the point where you may end up doing things where normally you would have said no  and that is how i was i think most of the infections are being transferred from one person together and saying that deve will leave or how assessable do you think that testing is for young people of color in york to do they think they need to x parents permission for testing or any other i mean do you think they need some kind of inform can think it should be something with they inform their parents about or should it be something like with teen pregnancy you can go have a pregnancy test but you don't have to say anything about easy a pretty much the law was changed a few years ago where you do not really have to ask your parents consent the age of consent for new york city is from age fourteen up to age sixty four you do not have to go if you're a doctor and you're talking with your doctor and your doctor realize that you are sexually active the doctor can offer it to you and you can accept it you can also be treated by the doctor for these infections without necessarily informing your parent we don't like to do that as doctors we do like to interact the parent but sometimes you cannot but then you have to work in the best interests of the child at this time to make sure they are taking care of and try and find you know some way to have the interaction with the parents so those are true you know the law versus you thirteen and we don't want any interactions in terms of the child thinking that they're adult enough that they can do certain things even though fourteen is not much of an adult kind of thing but still because the laws more protective of authority in your old than say a twelve year old ready to snow on the fine that younger people who who are positive for sci and they need treatment and they don't tell a parent the complete their treatment or most of the times they will you know people think that kids for most part are irresponsible if they know that they're sexually active the majority of them will come in and compete their treatment because one they know that they're protected one they know that they're going to be taking care of by the staff at the facility which even though the parents mean it's want us to because they say you are not the parent but we are going to work in the child's best interest to make sure they're safe so they will come and they will take their medicines majority of them i mean you know like not telling your parents about this current i had i have a sci which means they can sink to sex and they agreed to have sex something that their parents probably would not want them to do but i'm just wondering if the message is not coming from your parents not coming from a medical provider but coming from your peer and just educating you around prevention measures and treatment and things like that would it be easier for the c used to better understand what their risk are yes well we're not talking just your friend is the people think when you talk about peer counseling you're talking about you know your breast friend that you've been with all the time this is a youth that has been trained in a medical facility to provide information that youth is taught what is right what is wrong how to protect how to counsel somebody and how to refer and the youth is there to guide them they're not there to tell them what to do they're there to guide them and give them the information so they can act upon it and they're more likely to trust us because that youth is their age have been  experienced some of the things that they're experiencing so that is the reason why i think it is the best for them and you have to have different kind of youth you cannot only have the do use that's a straight a student which you know they got everything right and you know they dress a certain way and know it's every aspect of it if a person is gay they would prefer to talk to a person who is gay if you're a lesbian you want to talk to a person who can relate to what it is that you're experiencing base specially when you're young and you're trying to come out and that's what people don't understand you don't understand your sexuality anyway so no if you're not experiencing some of that you can't tell me what it is that i'm feeling but a person that's gone through  that or a belief going through it with you and they have more education they can help you and guide you and syrah who to the person to go and talk to and that's why i like your education it's one of the best and the thing that we can do and we need to do more of it and the thing is is that we do not have peer education going below age thirteen and i think we should because i've even seen some of those little five and six year olds folse are some a shark cookies and they can really tell you about the fact you know they may not understand fully everything what on their level if you speak to them on their level they'll be able to say to you i don't think you should do that you know what are you going to do not listen so i believe in prayer yes they're absolutely right about that and it's funny because why do you explain that to them and so much for them to understand but now when will when they were in high school and faced with this information in the i mean the false information about  v and other health disparities they would always say no i know this to be a fact in my mother and so just being able to educate so that i think peers are very important as well and i thought i was like your dog again i child remembered she says i remember when i came to one of your lectures i was sitting down and i could not have my feet on the floor because i was too small and you were showing those nasty slides i saw all those pictures off the penises and things and i can't believe that but yet when she got into middle school and high school she became a be a peer counselor because she had the knowledge and she has gotten the knowledge over the years and the more you spread the knowledge and the knowledge is correct the better it is for the child because the child wants information and you know people try to hide it and i think one of the things that we need to do is to tell them what they need to learn at their level sometimes we talk above their heads or below their heads so insulting them but talk to them at their level what they ask you that is what you should answer in the correct manner you know don't do that other thing where you don't need to know that yes you do because us absolutely insane that what do you think parents need to know about talking to their kids and about s t d prevention and we just did you know parents need to know this effectively about prevention i'm going to age myself right now but i'm going to parents remember the blue lights in the basement remember the back seat of a car remember when you went to the drive in movies seriously and you're talking about the kids today you know what you did now just because you are guilty of what you did you should not impact the children by acting like you were pure than snow because you weren't because i remember when i was a child my mother said she caught me in the bushes when i was four years old the little boy and i were saying you show me yours i'll show you mine this is what you do as you get older so you need to show so that they understand and my mother remember pulled me out of the bushes and say you don't show your little boys anything in the bush is ok mommy did i understand what i just did absolutely not but it stuck with me that i should never show a little boy in the bush is ok if you don't get it because we talk about when you have to transfer information and i think hat as parents being able to have those conversations with your children will be more helpful in terms of what they're faced with in the community because there's a lot of myths and mis information as it relates to them way and other sci what tools can we provide parents to ease the process i mean i think sometimes it may make parents remember some of the things that they've done into it and shame makes them feel shameful but what kind of who can we provide to parents to help them make for sex practices prevention with their children more are very easy kind kind of conversation where parents have to remember one thing you're the parent you decide how much you  tell your child your child does not have to know every single thing that you have done but you can relate things according to experience don't be uncomfortable or ashamed of the things you heard you have done you did it's past it's over as in part of it is because some of the shame of the past is coming into the conversation of today but don't be accepted for what it is and then discuss the things that your child needs to know and speak to them from your heart you know don't speak to them like you know you're talking down to them speak to them from your heart listen i know you want to have sex that's what i told my son i said sex is the best thing since spice bread but guess what you're not getting if you're not old enough at this point to understand what and for them to understand sex is not just a slam bam thank you ma'am you got a look at the person after you've had sex with them you're going to see the person the next day you're going to have to have interactions with this person do you still want to have information with that person after this is all over how are they going to treat you are they going to like you again are they going the side of i don't want to deal with you are you the person that's going to have sex with everybody and nobody wants to take you home to momma so those are the kind of things that you have to say to your children that sex is not just sets sex involves the day after the minute after even you know two days after and then you also have to tell them some of the net you think negative things that can happen with sex and sex is not always good you know the whole illusion on television that sex is so wonderful it's not always good sometimes there are bad experiences that come with sex and you have to be able to you know integrate that and accept that and see how to make sure that doesn't happen again so that's what we want to tell them those are the things you know one of the things that the national black leadership commission on aids has done for the last couple of months is we implemented you program and  we we reached out to an organization young faces smiling that goes into different schools high schools and middle schools and talk to children about other things that like education careers and things like that to help them focus on areas that would be beneficial to them as they get older they're in school and a lot of times they're having these sexual conversations in their mind shifts to sex and not pay attention to why they're there learning in becoming educated and one thing i like about young faces smiling is that one of the founders who leads these workshops she utilize celebrities allies is people that young people pay attention so it's good for messages across when she approached us about working with her and introducing health and the importance of safer sex and so her curriculum we thought it would be a great idea and we begun i would say early around early february and it goes until the end of june these workshops throughout the different barrios and what's surprising is that in some of the schools that they attend well most of the schools they attend they're not getting health education which is supposed to be part of the board of education t educate children around different health issues especially each i v and v eyes and i and it's funny too because the parents are definitely a part of the workshops and what children are learning but there's a lot of resistance from the parents as well and not really what like what is this what are you teaching them and instead of being a little bit more open to ok maybe you're taking this off my plate and then i can pick up where you're leading them and it's been a little resistance in that way so in saying that what what's your overall story it's about what should be what should be done to increase awareness in prevention don't see happening as much and you have to talk from a truthful level for instance i do a lot of work with the churches in my area i do sex talks i do a drug talks and my drug talks and sex starts are very graphic i tell you what it is that's going on i do not try to make kids you know all sweet and nice and the parents have to get over their fear that if their child learns about sex bill will have sex it's actually the opposite the more you learn about sex the less sex you have and so people don't understand that because if i ever showed you want to my demonstration of sex you would never have sex with him either because you know sex is a funny thing you know it's not pretty so you have to tell them the truth about it they understand that you also tell them you need insurance your condom is your insurance and then you give them the rules of the condoms where to keep the condoms do not put a condom in your back pocket of your slightly tight jeans your body temperature is too high so therefore it will make the condom stretch out and break and a simple thing like that somebody will remember and that will they will carry that condom in their pocket and so therefore they will always have a condom because you said don't put it in there put it there and those are the kind of things you do and make them touch and feel a condom you know make sure they understand what the tools are i'm not going to say i'm going to give you a condom but i want to understand what is out there to protect you and that's what we have to do and the parents if they understand we're not trying to take your role please i don't want your job i have my own child you can keep your job but i will assist your child if i have to absolutely ok when i send off kids to college from my church this is one church you know every child is a one thousand condoms i send it to them to their school and my son's college when i went and it was a state university i asked permission i sent it to the resident i sent the blowjob condoms as well as  penetrating them and i put it and that when i went to the school to visit the my beautiful jar was there was not so many condoms left but at least they understand and there they were told me for that particular semester in that particular dorm  the ration rate was very very low because it was there didn't have to run and find money to go get it and it was understood that you were expected to use one so thank you so much you got the long i mean this conversation with you today has been in light me and i hope that those the viewers today learned something from you as well you can learn more about him block that at our website m b l c a dot org also look for him black on facebook twitter instagram linked in and you too the manhattan neighborhood network brings these programs to you to better inform you the viewer about the important topics that impact your health and well being please let your family friends and neighbors know about this programming i am michel's hillary thank you for joining us and i hope you'll tune in next time for in black as hell action t v here on manhattan neighborhood network thank