is that which is with john watching that which is is presented by m s i the movement of spiritual inner awareness a movement dedicated to awakening the spiritual heart within each of us john rogers the founder and spiritual advisor of m s i  the founder and president of the institute for individual and world peace founder of the heartfelt foundation and other organizations dedicated to improving people's lives john rogers a bestselling author and he has been teaching and conducting seminars for many years right after john rogers speaks we'll tell you how you can obtain more information about him as i  the culture that you grew up in and with that information there is great value upon solemnity and seriousness and so that that translate inside of you as serious thinking it did not necessarily have to translate a serious thinking because the word judah means praises and so when a person's is you know saying let judah go up before the lord or before battle it was always that the praises so when we go back to old biblical information there was always a statement of let the joy go up let the trust go up let the the praises let the success of the battle not even engaged in that's already won because we're in the place where we win that is not what we call serious minded approach to war it is a joyful victorious approach so we take that and then we move it down to this level we say whatever we go into juda go forward first so it's like let the praise and the joy to god go before us and what we do today we say send the light in front of you and then rejoice that it has done what it's going to do and whatever happens it is for you and for those around you therefore for you doesn't look like one hundred percent because for you could only be twenty five and the other seventy five had to be dispersed out there for other people so you'd then have the praises for the twenty five percent that you've got to be sincere it doesn't necessarily mean being serious minded you can be very sincere to somebody in a in a very overt gushy way by saying oh my god that's a beautiful baby you have and it's very sincere it's very flattering but it's very sincere flattery but i'm not not saying sincerity is the keynote of existence i am saying serious mind it is not and to move things into a compassion into a passion into a target into a direction i should say into direction to a target and the comfort and the joy of knowing that is so and it's going to happen like that brings about a greater willingness now in this present moment to do whatever it is that is going to be done either has to be done or will be done if i said to you we're all going to go down to the lake and go swimming because it's cold in the water let's you know we're going to sing and dance all the way to the late just do that with us so we get there we all put our foot they want to go it's cold that's all sing and dance on our way back to the house because singing and dancing doesn't mean being stupid it still means checking it out maybe go ask this of freezes or my go down and say you know it's warmer than i thought it was going to be and we all jump in and then while we're in there we're still singing and having a good time and we come out and that's a little cold when we get out so now should be serious minded it should be get dry if you don't say god i'm cold that doesn't make you warmer but getting something on you makes you warmer so you can run around trying to find something to get warm by and warm up yourself you go well i'm warmer now than i was when i first got out and there's a lot of things going yes you're drying off your blood circulating more and we go through a whole litany of all the reasons that we all know but you could have been just as happy about it and the honoring us i think seems almost have sort of the basic disagreement that we're here i don't it just seems like that we all seem to have that we all think we have a right to be honored at times or be angry or demand or insist upon the somebody do something when when we really don't in another level we can fulfill that demand by by insisting upon it's done here we have to get cooperation from everybody to insist upon our demands being done so we get agreements ahead of time about what's going to happen none of that is serious minded those are just agreements that we're putting in the proper place of execution if you go on a silent break we say this break is for you to go inwardly and find more of that source and depth and you walk out and some ways cut the wrist or bleed to death you can't say to sign a break and i would take this seriously immediately break silence and assist why there's a reasonable ness that is here a practical necessity helpfulness now if you were if you wanted to do that for somebody else you must be willing to break those self rules of serious my did in this when it's necessary for you to change and make something better in your life but when somebody says listen i'm really serious about this i didn't i tell you this and so you get it right because if you're serious about something you better have it right and if you're not serious then you're allowed a lot of leeway to get the information across so taking yourself too seriously rather than taking yourself sincerely you understand the difference now is going to make for a greater harmony inside of you and when there's harmony inside of you is sort of like a cat purring and it starts to vibrate out and you can sort of hear film people get close to start to feel that vibration that's not a perk but it may feel like it is the more you do this the more your eyes light up with the same vibratory rate and it goes out but this particular point we're now feeling ourself with the light and love and laughter that's very serious business if we want to look at serious i mean that's important and so we want to use that more than serious you know and you have to go well if a killing was serious maybe it isn't serious because we all die maybe it was important what they died from what let's see if it's going to round somebody's out there shooting is coming down the line and  i'm next on the block so and want to like take that serious minded consciousness attitude behavioral responses and put a board over nell of that pos someplace because it just i don't know anywhere really serves somebody except bring solemnity and silence and down the sent to a group and if that's what you're after just tell people i want to quiet down and silent in this group and you're telling people exactly how you want to go if you say listen this is a very serious occasion and there may be value in the laughter of that and i used to tell jokes until some essays will serially and they go serially i go yeah i can't say seriously so seriously i want you to and then start laughing because it wasn't seriously but it was it was a way that i didn't have  to say here's how i want this carried out and it better be done that way without the fret so if you say i'm serious about this particular one as a directive but not as  behavior then i say well there could be value then in that and then the period period has a person has something since this is a very serious thing that i'm carrying so everybody can read it and they get out the way of the very serious  thing when people say they have a serious disease i can understand the description of that but if they tell me they've got a very serious disease what is a strep throat i go well yeah i guess that is serious but in comparing it with the things that might be more serious to me it doesn't get serious jail time to take your life and produce a death like oh well maybe now it's time for doom and gloom because that's where you're going or now that we know it's real serious why don't we go have a great big time and dance and i'll die of exhaustion because you've got a serious disease let's do something fun well my mind is sort of radical in that point of view when you're down i don't think you need more down this when i get a headache i need somebody smash my  toe i need some ab to rub my neck or say hey i got so upset when you i give up trying to make oh yeah some else may say let me rub your neck or do something else like oh yeah i'm after something more if they push on the right spot i go that's exactly where the headache is they may stay let me confront it until it can't stand the pain will start to go away and i'll say give it a shot and they may push him out a few times i go wow it's feeling better so i do sometimes a little more pain can also starts alleviate pain but none of that is a serious thing those are all descriptive terms about something that could be considered serious so i hope i answered that for you in all that thank you i've moved a long way regarding christianity the christ a lot of these issues words the triggers are you are you really not talking about jesus christ but about the followers who did the things in the name of oxygen in the name of sunlight i think there would be nothing but absolute unity amongst all of us but i don't think the planet set up for that i think the planet set up for because i think we learn a great deal by looking at the shadows of the past and to find out which shadows were discarded and which ones can be forward be brought forward into the light and healed and i'm of the persuasion all shadows of the past can be brought forward healed but you can bring shadow into a shadow and heal it you have to bring it forward into a light because in the light there is no shadow so if we if we were to take the word shadow now put the change in say what i'm talking about prejudice if you bring a prejudice from the past into the presence of the future you've done nothing except update and so it's called let's don't do that by don't know how someone is not prejudiced because everything is going to be made against experience and there's no way you can undo any experience it's just done it's what how you deal with it can be changed but can't be undone  i look to i look back a lot of the crusades the people that were slaughtered in the name of christ by christians who are really paid mercenaries are trying to get land and in the name of the holy order of rome and the pope who one of those times had a wife and children and i go god help ocracy was raining supreme then the only ones that seem to be now use the word seem to good muslims i mean they were really being better muslims than the christians were being christian but i think if we were to take the word christian and take away the behavioral aspects of the past and take one who would do it and we would all feel the vibration of all that that to me just gives me goosebumps just to even consider that possibility i go by but i also set myself up for a big fall because i know that are some people who have conditioned the thought pattern of their mind they call themself in i've been called anti intellectual i go thank you because i am anti intellectual but i am not anti intelligence and usefulness and practical lesson reasonableness which one person said well that's intellectual i said oh ok then i meant then i'm intellectual and if you want to define it and redefine it i have no problems with that but i know the inside of us often the wounds of early childhood and the wounds maybe ones that parents did or friends did the neighborhood did or the press or the culture or maybe it's just that we  didn't i don't think often that we did them because i'm often real sure that when we're young we're too innocent to know how to to wound ourselves so i do say that in the environment there are those that would would want us and then i have friends that were that grew up where i grew up and they were jewish and as they were the friends across the road were thrown rocks to hit them the rocks hit me and i had to go home afternoon father why they were throwing rocks at  us they said they got hit by the rocks the return of these other people because they're jewish and they had to explain the whole thing and when they got to the whole thing i just said well why and was not a good enough reason because i had done nothing and has in our family it was is quite amazing that after the incident i don't i really can't say that my mother or father did or did not know jewish people that was never brought up in our household but i do know that after that was explained to me that i was more aware that these people were visiting the house having sunday lunch with us and other dinners with us and that we were going fishing with them i was i was also no where we were doing this where before i thought back where we were always doing that but it took some friends across the street to throw rocks to make me differentiate what i did not care to differentiate i don't have inside of me now i have the information but not a differentiation i 'm sorry i just can't do it personally got to really stand up there and somehow stereotype himself as being black yellow do you anglo french or something for me to try to get it it's like people are following me or  real dummy because i don't know the difference and if you won the differences you should be in some anthropology class where they can tell it to you but i also knew that at that time there was a great conversion going on amongst all the people who lived in utah trying to convert all the hillbillies and they were called  oh yeah it's black it's black and white that's different but no difference so i know things are different here but i've never found a difference and that when we really get down to and the struggling in the two philosophies that we're told remember and don't forget and it's not just the hebrew tradition that does that i still think it comes back to re must confront the word words that trigger our consciousness in the negativity and neutralize those words i know it cannot be done by going into the past i know it can be done right now and in our family there are words that we didn't use in mixed company i would hear the women say it with women and hear the men say it with men but not across i heard him swear at each other and say the words so i knew those were bad things and if you want to hurt somebody and be bad you say that then it was like here we are polarizing our language and so now we've got to be real careful what we say because it you so you become so careful about what you say you can't really say the expression of your beingness and i know that if we can express the being the some way we can't really get a hold of it because it gets lost in the thinking in the chatter the mind in groups like this we sit and we we talk back and forth and we we say things and a person came up to me they said this is absolutely a miracle this is just absolutely a miracle going what i'm looking at i yeah you know what she said i sit up there and i talk for twenty minutes and nobody interrupted me she's and that person sit and listen for twenty minutes and listen didn't but i get that it is for a whole lot of people who've never been listened to and who've never had a chance to say what it is and yeah they were getting lots of levels of enlightenment as they would say things  and it was ok to say and it was being said and i think that those type of things are what we're dealing with and going towards there should be that place inside of you where you have a safe place for whatever is said to you by anybody where you can just take and put it in that safe place and if you don't like it later you just dump it then you put the safe place back and i used to tell people if you're not sure if you communicate as a person do you have a safe place right now for me to talk to you if they say no not now then don't say that right now and say can you tell me when you get a safe place and then in minutes i may say yeah i have a safe place for you can you can talk to me and they would say what was on their hearts place in the person used to say what they did need safe place they could send that to me and i said not really because you might have fired in the other one but now this when you're set to listen and you're set just to listen not to react and i'm looking back at what i might have done had i known this twenty years earlier i have done a lot of things in a much neater swifter nicer way and that's called young lives like that but what we do from this moment is a big key in all of our existence is no one's going to be able to change what you did or didn't do but you can take control of what you do next and the depth that you care to go with yourself and it's entirely up to you that  be the bad news because of if i were back in china and we were doing buddhist readings of the buddhist texts and were eating if i see you getting interest your food i whack you with the big club because you're supposed pay attention to what i'm reading to you if we're doing that type of discipline there's a good chance you might go a little faster in eating or something else but i don't know is that you would gain the self discipline that's necessary to be by yourself and go into self and lift up in yourself in here i think we really got a good way of doing it called you get to see how disciplined you are and where you have to go and it may be very disheartening to you and it may be really wonderful for you and all that church because that's what you've done and i'm not going to take it away from anybody certainly set up opportunities to participate but i would chance looking in the mirror and just saying the word christ many times i've had people room say the word rope many times when they get to the summit just on the floor laughing like a rope what's rope rope what i mean the word is where it has absolutely no meaning but i know also that's how you brainwash people is to take meaning off words so i tell people does that mean to you because i can discuss that in the context of their meaning but i also know that some of the words should be brainwashed out so that we can use it on him so when i grew up and i go to the races because i lived in the of just all the different races going into these mines and working god nobody knew what my name was they just knew what my nationality was my grandfather always called me kid i thought was pretty neat to their kid coming as i kid i realize my grandfather doesn't know me well he didn't know my name but he knew me because if i did something he knew which kid to get after but it's i'm just saying we've come a long way and we've got a long way yet to go and we're coming to the place or saying when we are going to stop taking umbrage with the name that somebody calls us rightfully or wrongfully as being a thing th just something that passed in the air and my ears vibrated to it and go into the heart of yourself and listen from that place that's the ultimate destiny all the religions that i've studied and that doesn't mean all the minor ones because there are some minor ones they've all come back to the heart place or the seat of sacredness but there are different words in the same place and i then i sit down i go i'm not in any disagreement what they d might disagree with how they're going about it why we're because i don't want to run fifty miles out there fifty miles back to do it and i disagree with that i just sit here when you run when you come back we'll do it but they say no you have to suffer this with us friend who was a good roman catholic kicked me write me ask you said no you wouldn't  and you know i think i deserve the kick in the butt it was a smart clever throwaway remark i had a good time in there i asked and i asked him to take me again because he said never take me again he didn't tell me told somebody else so i asked him hey can you take me down no vina you want to go yeah i says no remarks i don't know i may make remarks that's my privilege of being your friend he said come on well soon you grow up with those understandings this i'm saying these are things that i that i grew up and i can go down and just rip on my left or right if i can remember a mile but it is ok for him to say that the one of his friends and sometimes it's like i think alexander the great sort of did it in a big way when he told some people they killed their king when he was over all and he's and he said only a king can kill a king and he wiped out the entire population and it's like only a black person can call another black person a nigger only a jew can call no other person a jew i remember one of my friends and i have welsh blood in me you look at me i said you just jude me down because yeah but you welched on everything and then all suddenly looked at each other we started laughing and it had nothing at all to do racially at all it had to do with just the way the language was being used as i don't think he and i could be solved each other if we even sat down and made a point too because that's not the place what's going to reside with us and i'm hoping we're all going to get to the and i still have to work mine we somebody take my parking place you know  the take the party like what you wrote hog well there no longer a hog is not a road hog but that's you know that's a status i can say before the gunmen know they can't possibly hear it even though i know they never heard that either and so we're working on it and talking about and put it in a broader perspective i think is one the best ways to approach these things is to take it depersonalize that put it up bring it back in when you  way that is functionally working for you has got to be a practical demonstration and that's my answer i know that nothing is more loving the answer when i think folks saying that i have had more sometimes when we have a little thing to handle with the mine goes out it doesn't take much inside to handle it sometimes just walking away handles th sometimes hanging up the phone handles sometimes just saying shut up and walking away handles it so when there's something big to be cleared sometimes a set up nobody comes close to carrying it on a walking away doesn't care because of follow g m t friday i have found often at the moments of my greatest loving this is not like now present but in the and the moments where i have my greatest loving is when the greatest negativity came up to be cleared because i had the greatest amount of loving to clear up and less loving i had the less karma came up to be clear the more loving i am the more shit i get until i caught on what was going on oh my god i'm clearing a faster and when i realize that the loving was clearing it all i did stay in the loving and i didn't go up to it i would let my mind go up to it came in fine and never went seeking the i never checked to see it was gone either because that would then pull me out of the balance of it well what you doing is you're somehow going out to check how are things going and they slack in the head you go fine thank you very much you go that doesn't feel good well once you're in the lov it's as much effort to stay in the loving as it is to pull the mind back when it goes out it's as much effort to stay in the loving as it is to get the mind after it's gone out to pull it back entirely but not necessarily for how we feel about it or how we do it bizarre always been the strengthener and if i get out if i turn toward something that's negative to see where it is it weakens me but that's looking into the shadows and and so i always turn from the shadows very fast to see where the lights going seemed very easy because i knew the route so i just fool's game because i knew that the way out and the way in were exactly the same way to go into the darkness the way out was the way in reverse and come out people think oh my god that's so long it's like nothing in the light you're in the so you turn your in the light it's just going to get bri brighter as you get further along to some point you may turn to the to bright and start back down in the shadows again so at some point we rest and we take it easy we see where we are and we inventory how well we've been doing and  go get drunk sometimes we go walk by the water to ground ourselves sometimes we go out and just play baseball or football or we we watch monday football games even though we hate them just to watch some earthly grounding things sometimes we watch boxing just to watch blood fly even though it isn't just to go gaga is earthly grounding things here sometimes will go to organizations and volunteer to be in them just to watch the inner workings of an organization and then we start to move back into light action again now all of those are fine i don't know anybody and then or lot who always just went straight down the narrow and to the light all those who have made it all went after the side to see what the straight and narrow was and they all said it's a straight narrow path but the only reason they knew that if they went outside to see where it was well i've been off the sides often when people go there i go yeah i was there i know what that is it's not a bad thing it's just a few keep going you fall over when you just step back a lot of people step back and go i know where the path is and that's fine i'm glad people pulled me back often those i was done loving way it was doesn't mean they didn't grab me forcefully and commute back but it was still done in a loving way the were this close i'm probably been living closer and you know my instinct was to pull the guy away and my dad pushed me with his foot or his hand i don't know but i saw it went flying backwards and we picked up a board and hit that guy not that guy twenty feet away and saved his life and i said fine to do that he says if you did touch him you got electrocuted too he said the way he had to smart i found out later on that he was one of my dad's best friend and my dad really loved him and he saved him i would not as i loved him but i wouldn't save him out of killed him my dad's way as rough as it looked was the best most loving way that woke up there are a lot of ways to do things and sometimes they look rough and bad you don't know unless you know really what the repercussions could be what i y where you're starving yourself needing one meal a day and putting up with open it was ing source for some people are sacrificing a lot to try to make the point that they really are after that the big way and they're not getting it either so that way doesn't  just because you really want what you want doesn't mean you're gonna get it i know the path is inward i know that if you go to a church out we're down to a church and you go in there and you sit down you kneel down you pray you've done a lot of outward things but when you get there you're going in ard if you go inward all the way you're walking down there to kneel and pray and you're in word you're farther along than the person who just went to they got their to go inward so we're talking about how about getting up the morning and start being aware  going inward and take times to notify yourself you're doing that call spiritual exercise time and the rest of time be loving which means you've got to come inside of to produce the loving to let it come out and do things of more of that in your life you've got to come inside to get that to make it go out so in a sense the word there really is no outside there there's just putting things out there that we walk towards either love or hatred or jealousy or envy or caring and sharing but we come from this place inside first and the quality in which you have the side of you will be the quality by would you give it out it may not be quantity but it certainly will be quality jag and then used the feedback from the universe to say hey that was a little jagged feeling out there to come back in to go would i have to smooth this off oh i get that i thought they should just get it because inside i felt it doesn't work that way i wished it would because then maybe you should get what they're getting because they're doing it and you're not getting theirs either because they're doing their own inner thing in nobody's getting there but it's an odd thing so some point while you're loving you also have to open up  thing that goes and what are you doing over there so if i just sit here and i just stay loving stay in my loving and don't move and you walk up you're the pain i can never know that because i don't have pain in my loving if you have distress i cannot know that because i got loving so i've got my loving but i also got a thing here lined up that when you have distress he goes distressed distressed i go oh ok i can approach a distress loving so i don't make you more distressful or maybe approach it some other way maybe approach it with humor maybe i'll leave it alone saying anything i do is going to make it worse so do nothing don't even answer question just say thank you i don't have an answer let them go some people say well that's not very loving it's like you don't know what it was or wasn't and why you say that that person because they're in that place we tell them because if they get out of their business your business to get back to their own and leave alone then you go thank you see most of time we all got back in our own business maybe a whole lot of thank you is going on along this planet and i talk to a lot of and i'm using these words judiciously christian ministers i don't look at me as one i look at me as a follower of christ and that and i'd also know that i fall short of that nevertheless i'm still following that doesn't mean i'm right next to him there may be ten billion in between is so i'm on that path but but i do know that was immaterial when i know you cannot have the experience your sister has you know if you eat the same food so let her have her experience and glorify and feel good that she could feels glorified and feels good and that's a real support system i think that's a real caring system jesus is the head of this organization spiritual head i know when people found jesus someplace else to ask you to go there caught up in a bunch of emotional flooding you know they want full time pay for part time devotion in this group you want full time devotion and maybe you get some pay that's not there's a dictator but he sure is totalitarian about it loving and caring and sharing do these things don't think about these things do these things the lay down the law and i follow the law and i prosper it just beats some people how i have a great big mansion on top of the hill and have about poverty since i don't own it it's very easy but you just you follow those things it's there is there is emotional quality of spirit that's very nice to have the mormons have a work ethic quality of spirit which is very nice to have the catholics have a penitence and a forgiveness form a religion they go commit the sin and forgive themselves pay the penance and go back out and then they do it again and then they come back in and find a piece of you might try to examine your life while you keep repeating that habit and if you go the school you do things wrong you get your hands flat i can't say any of these things are right or wrong i just know they're out there and people are and i don't know if i'm pro choice or pro life i think i'm for both of them and i'm not against anybody who says they're going to have an abortion for whatever reasons they have it i don't know their karma so i just sit in a person s blank i'm like you might as well talk to somebody who knows what you're talking about i don't know you want to soul transcend let's go i know how to do that you get to god do you talk to him let him answer for you all i would do is doom a lousy and i know god's got it wired and that's why i never fight the devil as he is wired also but try to do everything i can to keep him someplace else but the traveler consciousness in the higher realms is also the devil in a stand god's in all things it's a real it's a strange paradox so some point of the devil walks in this room and people said let's kill the devil they go stop that's what he wants let's love him that's why he can't take so we would love him into conversion angel of light so i don't know who these people are worshipping when they found jesus so i know they're spiritual deception so don't go after what your sister wants get what yours is if it's the same with hers and it works and you have to have been just wonderful magnificent and if it doesn't have the wit to let it go and if you're not having a continuing experience then jesus has abandoned you or you have turned the jesus i know does neither one of those which means the blessings already are the blessings the ideas and the concepts which you've heard just a small part of the abundance of material john roger has shared with us over the years if you would like a free book by john roger journey of a soul call this number one eight hundred eight nine nine two six six five you can send e mail to service desk at m s i a dot o r gene or write to that which is post office box five one three three five los angeles california zip code nine zero zero five one dash one nine three five this has been that which is with john roger thanks for joining us really terrible things and i knew i knew what he was doing and the whole thing's i he believed in more than i did and he really got upset really real so in the course of our conversation which was not really too good because seemed like i couldn't speak aborigine he couldn't speak american but what the way of the way you break the spell of the city tep take the stick that they  like with a stick in my hand emulate him like he was going to do like this so i did like this and then i looked at his son had his hands apart so i took my part and stood back up and he just went like this and split it so i looked like this and i just stood there because i didn't have anywhere to split to i said when i met this guy outside there or by the other side he says that's rubin territory so that's aborigine that's sacred and holy so i'm surprised they didn't kill you i said well a guy came up six tick at me said oh they killed you he said what happens so i told him the whole thing on the ground and he says well not too many people know but that's how you break the curse there is no matter what god's earth you have to do to change things to your positive you do them there was no harm to anyone could have been harm to me couldn't couldn't harm to the guy if you believe what i did would do something to him and listen all i was doing was just emulating my role model because i didn't know that that didn't mean from him welcome come over and i'll show you the paintings which i did get to see i was taken in there and it's just interesting that you have to be up to whatever you're doing you have to be up for it you have to be up for grace if you don't have grace you have to be up for it you've got to continue to bring yourself up for if you go well i came up for and i didn't get it bring yourself up for yourself up for i am depressed to bring yourself up for i don't care what you are bring yourself up for all the time every time all the time every time there any excuses exceptions when jesus returns you can this is relationships with anybody your husband your wife your boss your parents your children anybody over a greece in it's a tradition tradition with the greek people in greece lot of over here in the united states don't do it because they've left the traditional area but when the older folks are talking about a new couple got married and they're fighting and they're arguing they say oh listen to them making love and you stop to think about a little bit it's like everything that couple does is making love not having sex because a we've got making love a sex sex is a biological response of the body that's why you can have prostitutes because that's where they do it but making love and love making is that no matter what happens in that relationship it's all love making you want to go just shut out and sort out and don't talk to me is lovemaking it's not sweet romantic unless you say look how cute they were and they did that leaf of mine in california when people get upset so she goes up she goes oh use  like they can't make any points in anger so they have to make the points rational and factual they should go along with it so if they say well my point of view is now i want you to follow what she  when you like that and i was very very young i was with my brother way up in a canyon and the guy came up and says boy says your mom's looking at you she's going to beat the hell out of you when you get home she's saying she's going to skin you alive don't go home now she's ready to skin you alive and but now that our two should have forgotten that so my brother stayed out and played and we got home she had forgot to watch this obedience thing that you just obey everything so rapidly that you get yourself in trouble let the wisdom come in you know like sit with a little bit go mets his favorite story fit here he had hit jumped up so don't you tell that's my story and i go sit down to let him tell a story but he's not here so i stole it from him and he'll never hear this i make sure that i get the take and keep it but you know what i'll do keep and then when i visit with him i'll say hey by the way i use story in a in a meeting you go yeah it's ok then i wonder why all the worry about the tapes and him worrying that that's my nonsense that's my inner peace is no longer peace so i figure people say it's ok it's ok now drop it let it go what if i'm wrong i'm going to have peace for days and days and days and days until have a little bit of upset with him instead of having upset upset upset up so that maybe peace that's a wrong approach more peace and less upset but he can yell scream if i just look at him we go the i might just shame him out of ever doing it again knowing my brother i would go down t see how this you get how the humor comes up inside that's preliminary to peace so you start to laugh about all your anger irritation upset you go ok now we're in peace again