but oh tom yes sir so as you know i currently have a teenage daughter yes and teenage daughters have taught me something very important yes that the two most wonderful words in the english lesson are empty nest really yeah really interesting so these daughters are such a good kid yet that they want to you want you to long for the days when they were that you know i don't like how it's right exactly when you'll be able to celebrate how wonderful it is or was to have them in your house that would you say you're really looking forward to that day when you can celebrate the how great they are without having to let them know it directly how wonderful you think that they are so you just want to be out of the house exactly i am really looking forward to testing whether absence makes the heart grow fonder that that's that's a very interesting thing yeah so so this is this idea of an empty hi welcome back to the tom doug show it's empty nester day here on the tom and doug show for you empty nesters and for you empty nester want to be because you just can't get those kids out here how it's so maybe the people who are empty nester wannabes maybe i want them to kind of sit back for a moment and just and that for the moment that you were there and you're living in an empty nest can you be an empty nester before you're even up full nester well that's an interesting question so there were times when i was a single parent and the child was at the other parent's house yeah and so for that week or two time or you know i was an empty nest and at those times i didn't really feel excited about it oh yeah i forgot to press to play well that's the good thing that we find that excitement and joy often comes with when my distraction technique did not work yes we're still talking about empty nest is so so ok are you telling me that all this anticipation i have got for when i'm going to be an empty nester you know in truth after the syrup and that in fact there's going to be depression that goes along with it that it's not just going to be this magnificent spectacle i'm imagining yeah empty nest ism is not all that it's cracked up to be although you know you could make the case that maybe it is or maybe it isn't monasticism has its own complications as well all right explain i know people who never lived in a house without kids they never really knew how to relate to themselves or their partner so can they be said to have an empty nest if they've never had kids you have to have had that's a good lesson it's before you can have an empty nest well i think that is empty mess but but i know several people who very thoughtfully chose they did not want children yeah well their empty mess or and there they don't have as much mess in their lives or they don't have the joy of being able to blame it on the kid i need to start taking more joy in that i yeah that's because right now you know sure i got the blame go yeah but i'm not really enjoying it yeah you have to really understand how that takes the pressure off of you it's like having a screw up in your workplace you should appreciate that screw up because it makes you look so much better and see the the best thing i've got in the you know to deal with the full nest right now in my longing for an empty nest you know is saying you know in one hundred years we'll all be dead but the easiest way of course is just to blame them because they're going to spend the rest of their lives blaming me  if you watch too much television you're likely to forget you ever watch television at all really what i should do with your talking to the right guy here really all right yes i had went through the same thing last year this time really and i know exactly what you should look to great because i'm i'm not sure what i should tell people what i had said she asked for the names of the friends i had helped out and i thought for a minute while scratching my head  the most accurate statements that we have are here all include the phrase i don't know thank you all for thinking a log well i've learned a lot today tom thank you so much this is been our empty nest version of the tom and dog show our episode about empty nesting and how it is important to understand that the most wonderful part of having an empty nest and we don't know what that is no but i'm still looking forward to it although i will say if any of my children are listening to this show i wasn't talking about you some other