ratings scales so you know for a quick version of that i think about magazine covers manipulating body parts and all that you know i was doing it with faces and for doctor's office so if somebody wanted to go  any kind of cause surgery done we were creating these scales for doctors can grate you and see where you fall on that scale and see where you want to go and so you know that just that just didn't make me feel great you know  doesn't i was in doing any good i fell and one day i walked in and my boss said that we were going to use my face so i was then again he paid and i was then twenty five years old and that time i was just moved home from living in attention to wrinkles that i didn't think i had until while only that i have wrinkles because the camera picked up my my make me really well and you know my skin tone so that's what i did and you know during that time i started to really pay attention to all my surroundings and what i was reading and what i was watching and i found this common and to still to this day i find this common conversation about of physical nature and you know media trying to road is more you know the long hard work and so that's kind of how i got started and i had a partner at the time and i just let's start an online magazine we both loved magazines and we loved the healthy lifestyle and we wanted to learn and grow just in the flow of things you talked about you know i speak of things like body image and the media portrayal of women and you know just all these stereotypes and misconceptions of what defines a woman you know and just curious obviously very popular no i don't i don't think body doesn't at all and i mean i love diving in love with a deal and and but i think we need to scratch the surface of the we need to go beyond our physical appearance because our physical parents appearance is constantly changing  soul and our spirit that lives on i mean i can accept my body yes i'm thankful that i've always been in shape for and i'm i'm so grateful for that but i can accept my body and take care of my body but then i think i got pregnant with twins so then i have have to offer mentally first mentally i'm not saying ignore your physical body because yes you need to take care of yourself but focus on the inside and i think that's really what the vines we are looking for she what don't we appreciate in life what what do we accept in themselves yes so i liked i mean this is what i hope that it does that i have here is that you know it's real it's authentic and i think everybody who contributes it's in their voice is their taunts their voice it's a message i'm not going in an the writer or the expert is also human and vulnerable and that we could be an expert but we're still growing we're still working on our personal development and we're still vulnerable we're still learning about accepting pieces of appreciation in achievement through all of our journeys and through all of our obstacles and circumstances and so i think when people come to identity magazine they feel safe in the feel safe and they feel supported and they feel validated and they feel that ok i don't them and a lot of the writers they start like do i have to answer these i'm like yes you need to do the work i don't know and you know i tell i tell the writers you know what i do when i write because i answer the questions as well every month i e answer them accordingly to them to the article and to that scenario in that topic because it adds an extra close closure to wrap up but the three questions the main three questions are all about you know what is it that you've learned to accept about yourself mentally and physically what have you learned to accept and then there's the appreciation part what do you appreciate about yourself who you are mentally and physically and then the achievement bird a is all know what makes you so proud may not your  husband your kids your monitor sister you know your boss know what makes you smile she did she like think back to the past ten years of your life and we achieve every day what has made you just so holy crap i am awesome and v you know she's a lot of the business side yet and she i know she makes me laugh out loud if you can make me laugh out loud i mean you know good because for some reason that's always been a struggle for me is to laugh out loud so there's a few a few people in life a few shows that really get me going i'm like ok this is this got to be good right so yeah i mean i find it's been ten years so i've found a handful that i just i keep in my pocket opened i think that's the key thing i think started to really do and and i think that makes a huge difference i don't know when i mean you take you go into the city a lot time you take a mass transportation or a i mean when you go on with open heart get into a like a comfortable zone where you're in your own space and maybe think about and start reflecting about things that inspire you things that motivate you things that make you warm inside internally and bring that natural joy  graphic design do i like to do photography do i like to run my business and well like to eat healthy what are things that you could stay up all night doing what that looking at the clock and see i mean i'm a firm believer you can turn any passion into a business or you just have to be willing to or want to do and take the steps because it's hard work and you have to take that that choice of i don't want to lose this passion if i start because sometimes if you have a passion in making a business  aware of what we are feeling and if the more you can tap into a hole you're feeling it gives you the pieces to that puzzle because we are all puzzles and what we're trying to do is just put those pieces together you know so i love the fact you mentioned that that feeling yeah what you practice and the more that you pay attention to your feelings and what did you do before that made you just feel that way or what did you eat it or that made you feel tired or exhausted or you know the easier yes the mor the three and the women really sharing their journey the good bad ugly i really feel that that's what's connecting people because we are so lost in the digital world and not everybody is putting their challenges know try to be more open and be out in the public and blabbing with any platform just showing just showing everybody that that your journey is your journey of life your life you celebrations your celebrations and don't compare any aspect of that with anybody else's and own your own and support the woman see exactly exactly i told her i totally agree you know where all  terms of paperwork we talked about you know work you know because in our for you to really show up and be really answer to connect with people you have to do the work also so you know life hasn't been easy and it's so what are some of the challenges having a magazine  yeah there's a lot there's a lot and mean just building the the readership is you know this how it's challenging it's hard comparing with everybody else like all the other online support groups out there so you just have to make sure that you're aware and you you know i'm tapping into everything in them you know building the exposure but you know just staying motivated to to do the work to provide the systems get the systems running on finding contributors that want to share their voices and authentically indeed first her with me you know the financials behind it managing that and networking and now it's harder being a new mom trying to get still be out mind that things are going to shift that that's a big thing that you can have a you should have a plan and i'm going to do that but i know that that plan will shift and you have to learn to be adaptable and to know that ok that works for this amount of time  mastermind groups that help me know i don't have a nanny yet so now it's transition that's very hard for me to get stuff done during the day and i need to deal and sales and stuff but if i can get my goal is like maybe one big thing what's the one big thing that friend the friends you know i'm so lucky that i have friends that have been sort of warning me for ten years that i can tell them i can have my mom has been you know you need to have that and you tell them and ask them can you be that person for me and then i need to text you accountability partner that's good if we could share like a few groups or resources we can you know put it on the street you know to have the beauty that has that that sense from all yeah because i think that's the right i keep on saying that is not that we are weird we lack information we have too much information and we're not taking any action yet that's the big issue that's huge exactly that's the bottom line with about all of this was before we actually and i have to actually this question i'm turning to table on you and what have you learned to i was put into special lead in third grade and i still to this day don't know why and that that that impacted and who i am a great deal that that has built the character is to  piece of me and that was the the determination of the inner strength because i was like i need to be means to live i cannot go to high school and he separated my first and so i worked my butt off and i became mainstream  actually won an award in one night before i went to high school because i had i became mainstream of all those classes but that just showed me and still since then till today i know i work i have to work hard at everything  so i write you know reflecting on the past ten years of my life and i came up with a theme for each year business of what i went through the first years vision and you know the second year was like oh my gosh i'm doing this the third is all not prosperous was the third year i had a partner who opted out so i was like oh time do i do this alone can i do this alone never thought in your head so every year is the thing and with that we're doing conversations online and lab so people can join the celebrations with these these themes over the next months until next year you know crossroads and fear it just all sorts of topics that i felt for the ten years and then we're having a big huge party and i'm high hopes conference is my third conference