and criminal defense attorney whose office is in perception in new jersey sara has been an attorney over thirty years having practiced family law for over sixteen she has successfully represented her clients in divorce cases in child custody matters support issues and post judgment motions which have been filed after divorce has occurred sarah thank you so much for coming in and answering our audiences burning questions because unfortunately so many people keep going through this over and over again so i've got to ask what has happened the most it stands out in your mind with why would someone need help with an attorney after they get divorced people who think of an attorney when they're preparing to get divorced well often issues arise during post judgment with regard to support with regard to alimony with regard to child support with regard to has the other party done what they should have done has somebody lost their job and can no longer pay the support that was necessary as per the property settlement agreement have these are the children going to college have who's going to pay for college camp was going to pay for camp what is going on ten five three years later after the marital settlement has been signed and that causes people to go back to court you mention i think so many people the person who has the custody of children the parent of primary residence they going to be able to work just like the person who pays the child support works and so why should they be hindered so is encamped more of a necessity not a luxury for children well probably thirty years ago it was a luxury parents sent their children away to camp over the summer and mothers were home and they weren't working at least many of them not all of them were  therefore why would a child need to go to camp in this day and age moms work at least a majority of the mothers seem to work there are many many single family homes in america at this point i think they're more singing go family homes than married family homes and therefore with a mother working or a father working whoever is the parent of primary residence and it can be either they need can't summers like a lucy goosey time for kids  it's a difficult time for parents because they're much more expenses during the summer than there are during the school year and if a parent has to work and the child is no longer on a schedule like they are in school it's very difficult and often sleep away camp is the answer so that the does entertain while the parent still needs to go to work every day and make a living not drawing nobody sticks a nine ten eleven twelve year old at the babysitter all day i mean  unfortunate for the street times and and it happens in every one's who is divorced lives the parent who pays out of pocket or through probation or garnish from their paycheck they're sitting there thinking wow i'm forking over money to my ex and my ex's keeps getting this money and they get infuriated by it when really it's child support not even spousal support i read that over one point five billion dollars is in order child support so obviously not all the monies that are are even being paid you vast a multitude of questions there let's take them as best as i can one at a time the first question is is camp outside the guidelines or within the guidelines allston i will add camp to the guidelines and add them as an ongoing expense that needs to be paid weekly so that it doesn't creep up in during the summer time also that's above and beyond child support base show support well child support includes medical expenses and work related daycare expenses so at some point and often in the case if we know that camp is going to be part of the equation well add it to the child support guidelines so put doesn't require weekly reoccur in child support also account for housing and food and clothes and you know the normal day to day stuff yes but you specifically asked about sports some extra curricular activities so these are added into the guidelines but if you have expenses that you know are reoccurring for example a child who's ill and has extra medical expenses or camp where both parties say this child is going to camp in the summer because i can't be available those are expenses that can be added to the guidelines so if you just put up a good point before you had mentioned about how child support includes medical expenses well now it is unfortunate it's really expensive so if you don't work for a large corporation that absorbs your monthly premiums and your helps your small business owner or ten ninety nine contract or whatever it is you get really expensive for health insurance who is obligated to get health insurance is that covered out of child support health insurance could be a couple thousand a month nowadays health insurance is covered in the guidelines and if the parents don't have the luxury that we used to have thirty years ago of having our employers pay for it we whatever the child share is is divided by the parents pro reda their earnings so you're saying that the regular dollar mandated to be paid for child support includes the health insurer yes and that will be a figure that may change and that will be a figure that's contemplated in the guidelines except that the person receiving the support has to pay the first two hundred fifty dollars of unremembered medical expenses is that always across the board and second to change her famil income of it depends who's if there's support being paid if child support is being paid two hundred fifty dollars is included in the guidelines per child per child ask her child ok that's a huge difference what about when the parents aren't agreeing on what the expenses could be so for example we're home a camper second ago obviously camper parent shops often pick up child is a lot less then a sleepaway camp depends on the day camp speaking because you know overnight expenses but what if the parents don't agree on it and unfortunately what if the disagreement is you know prudent and finances you know the non custodial parents like well why should i pay that much that's your choice to send them to that camp would you do that a reason to go back to court well let's understand the post judgement motions are very expensive and the courts will inforce whatever is in the marital settlement agreement and a lot of becomes b it depends on the facts of the case will a court make a call yes will the court decide what's in the best interests of children seems always that's what's important to the courts is the best interest of the children but are they going to give the parent of primary residence a carte blanche to do whatever they want no they are going to look at the incomes of the parties and decide what's appropriate so does a follow same suit if we go a few years older for children and go to the other college years or older teen years or sixteen seventeen eighteen years old maybe even upper levels of high school so for example which might expenses so what about when that wonderful teenager now tries what happens who's responsible for paying for health car insurance which gets to be very expenses we all know unfortunately boys are more expensive than girls for conscience but young girls are also costly we going to pay for that that's one for the electro thinker because that comes out in all different areas in all different courts it really depends on the court it's a very gray area of the law because transportation expenses according to the guidelines are to be borne by the person who is receiving the child support but that's not really a transportation expense so that goes all kinds of different ways and often the courts will say the child has to pay for their insurance and the child may have to pay for their own car so if there are no for example ok we know what happens in high school somehow there's usually busing provided or other means because they got to high school when they were fifteen years old how do they get to their school when there are some thousand years old first question vs senior granted but what about when a child needs to then go to college if a child is going to commute to college and not go overnight somewhere i think generally courts would decide that that's the cost of the college education that the supported supporting spouse is getting a break by the child not moving away from mom and i think in that case a car might well be contemplated by the court to be divided the cost of a car for the first sign that might sound like a minor send the car insurance while it to be very expensive big issue because if you're married you don't the child doesn't get to say i'm going to go to college and you're going to pay for mom and dad or one of the parents doesn't get to say you're going to pay for college husband married couples the courts are not going to get involved and it's very case sensitive what is the father's background is the father a stockbroker on wall street is the father a teacher did he go to college or was the father for example a truck driver or is the mother a waitress in a restaurant what is the impact now you bring this point up it makes you very curious what impact is the new because a few church has the ambition to go to college when their parents to not i don't ensure that hinder the ability for the child to go to college it doesn't hinder the ability but the courts will look to the background of the parents to look to the economic viability of the parents ability to pay they'll look to the child's grades in high school as you mentioned whether the child has shown an aptitude for learning whether or not a has resources independent of the parents such as still be required to take out scholarships loans grants but does the child have for example a trust fund a wedding he makes a lot of money or she makes a lot of money she works on wall street last year she made five hundred thousand dollars why should the child use their trust fund for college when they'll need it later on in life  predict what a judge is going to do the judge is going to look at the best interests of the child and the economic feasibility of the parents of being able to pay so it leads me to another question so that's a beer on the hook for is it only for a standard for your diploma you know like a bachelors but when it is chosen visions includes getting a master's or a doctorate does that mean they're kind off against or you know certain amount of time i think the rule of thumb generally unless we're talking about a very high income family is the child gets four years of education and if for a college education and after that if you want to go to grad school have at it you know go to grad school but the parents are in obligated in fact in this state and i know this isn't just this state but in this state college is something that the courts are imposing that parents pay for if they're divorced in other states children don't get a college education know what is in the majority yes the majority of children do not get a college education from their parents who are divorced new jersey is a minority state wow that's really important for example has that parent been involved in the decision making process and if that parent has not been involved in the decision making process the process is it fair to pick up the phone and say ok dad i've picked my college i'm going to go to harvard and you're going to pay fifty thousand dollars a year if the child if the parent has not been involved in that process it really isn't fair to expect that parent to contribute what will the courts do representing him self and family court is a very difficult situation if we don't know how it's going to end up how can somebody who hasn't been practicing in the family court arena know how something is going to going to end up this is a very slippery slope to try to someone to try to do this and so again it's just i don't see how it works out and this is fun for actually why lawyers are needed specially still unlike yourself who's been doing this with so much knowledge and passion but i've seen people who file their own divorces and they think they're divorced because they did it themselves they're not divorced how today actually got to cordone they're shown to court they have it here in front of a judge and they're not divorce right  because they haven't followed through they don't know what steps they need to take well can they just ask the coroner here in front of a judge what we do next and the court the court will the court is not really supposed to tell people what to do the court is supposed to follow the law or people who are appearing pro se are presumed to be similar to lawyers now so there could be a slippery slope we think you'd have worse to go to get me married to someone else and look now your final the most i think the most is support somebody has agreed to pay two hundred dollars a week based on a job we're here and are sheer and fifty thousand dollars a year all of a sudden the job disappears and you don't have that money to pay anymore can you get a reduction in the amount of alimony and or child support that is the most frequent type of motion the regents the reduction yeah and the courts are our have a duty there duty bound to follow the marital settlement agreements so unless there is an extreme substantial change in circumstances the courts are going to follow the marital settlement agreement so if you agreed five years ago to pay lifetime alimony to your spouse and five years later you lose your job you better show that there's an extreme change in circumstances or you take a fifty thousand dollar pay cut you better it's show that there's an extreme change in circumstances or the supported spouse or the son has gone to school and has a great job and now she's making as much as the supporting spell so he's making as much as the supporting spouse is it fair for that person to be getting the same amount of our money or support and maybe making more than the person who's supporting their so we're going to he took a different approach here's my question that i think happens a lot as well i'm sure that does put out the people who are full of animosity the full combativeness and they're just annoyed because they always see oh i'd like to stick to child support for a second and they see it is always going to max is going to be don't be accepted they're not going to the children it's child support but so many times i'm sure you hear it's about it's going to the parent not the child so what i want to ask you is what about the you know the person who's supposed to pay the non custodial parent deliberately either not working or getting jobs there are substantially less than the end maybe have for twenty years just to have to pay less or no child support at all does that happen well i'm sure it happens but it's kind of a self defeating thing to do to shoot yourself in the foot and so not to pay child support child support isn't that great a part part of your income that you should purposely you know make less money however one thing that sticks in people's craws let's say the woman is pain child support and her perception is she's handing all this money over to this guy to support the children what people don't realize is those child support guidelines have two columns one is for the supporting spouse and one is for the supported spouse in the supported spells also has a child support obligation no they're not getting the money because that person is using the money that they make and the money that they're getting to support the child so child support generally doesn't cover all of the child's needs it doesn't cover the roof over their head it doesn't cover the food in their bellies it doesn't quite cover the clothes on their back child support doesn't cover everything so people who complain about it they really should look at the other column because both parents are contributing to the lifestyle of the child and for people who have this combativeness within them they only see their perspective i think that when you're looking at it big don't know how or do you don't want to open their eyes to the other parent's perspective so what that's where you have what is it that's our job to say look your pain x amount of dollars but look at what she's paying you're not paying the mortgage on this house anymore you're not paying the clothes on this child's back for the clothes on this child's back you're not paying for the food in their bellies you not paying for their sports you're not show for in them everywhere around and i think if a lawyer sits down and talks to somebody and says listen you're going to pay five thousand dollars to to go to court and litigate this case and what are you going to get out of it i mean part of the lawyers job is to say it's not worth the fight you're only paying ten thousand dollars a year child support the money belongs in your children's mouth and you  wives ex husbands bob pickett not in my pocket and that's part of what you do as a lawyer is a value way to case and say yeah this may be worth something or it may not be worth something but you're going to pay a lot of money maybe to get nothing thank you so it has been really eye opening because now truths have come out and i'm sure there's many other questions burning in the minds of our viewers and that they could do is talk to you frankly another really wonderfully qualified attorney but that is what you have to do to stop your crisis to stop you suffering do what you did to do find a way to get help for your family through a great journey and stop