are joining us for the first for the first time welcome and i'll just you know chat a little bit about what we are and how we got started the life to point i was sure was really was i being downsized and trying to figure out what my next was of course of me trying to figure out my next what you know i had people coming to me that why they want to be downsized as well or thinking about back then retiring and saying what are you doing and how are you doing it because you know just not doing anything for the rest of my life was just are not planned i knew i had to do something at this point in my life that was passionate about and had some purpose so that's what the like to point out community is about how we want people to look at this second half of life and initially you know we kind of talked about the baby boomer generation to possess what we are but we're expanding we really cooperate in younger women because and find it that they are at some point in their lives asking the same questions around are you know absolutely what is life about what is my purpose so that's what we're really focusing on with the like to point our community to for how women you know find their purpose through their talents your skills your natural gifts so for those who are suggesting us for the first time welcome and as we say it's a movement and so we really want to sort of bring this to light that bring this to your awareness so i will let you introduce our yeah i'm going to introduce mike and mike and i go way back and i was teasing him prior to the show because mike was my physical trainer many years ago when i was still working and he hit the approach she's telling us now is different from when he trained me so i'm interested to see how it was how it is now versus then but i was sharing with my that the time that i did spend with you you know even though you were on my case and whatnot is really was i think the best time that i've ever been in terms of my physical fitness and stamina so welcome thank you for having me a great opportunity and might give us a little rundown little brief rundown of how you got to this place and time and you know a little bit about your journey right oh i've been serving the health fitness wellness community for seventeen years training but my journey quickly progressed to massage it became massage therapy but i found that even though i had those two skill sets personal trainer massage it and how to combine them and so i went on a journey to figure out how do i integrate those two resources and i went to a course which basically told me about chain reaction by mechanics that's what i thought they were going to teach me what they were what they really taught me is that the human experience is the interconnected body mind i started kind of dabbling in the realm of life coaching and i think i'm an educator art ok yes and my goal in working with people is to use fitness as a platform to develop the whole person ok so many times people come to me to enhance their body in some way but i quickly see that it's their mind holding them back and it's their spirit that suffers ok yeah ok so true yeah so true so tell us a little bit about some mind conditions that you see that keep people from achieving that goal that's a loaded question here here's what i'll say when people come to me they'll share what i now call their current status will say i'm overweight ok i'm out of shape right i'm tired i'm stressed so on and so forth and then what i asked them to do is i asked him to visualize and share with me their preferred status where they want to be in their life and they say on a be energetic  to be organized and be fulfilled balanced ok and so forth and so i think for most programs the kind of the buck stops there define your goals and then let's start working towards them but i've actually found that that's ineffective and here's why because there is a gap in between our current and our preferred status correct and so when we start asking people what's in the gap what really gets in the way and so what we're hearing now are things like perfectionism ok ok or that's in your mind that's your mind of sub sub conscious though it's a lot time to subconscious because we're not even aware that we're sabotaging ourselves like that right and so just to that point i'd say it's not lot of times will think well if i want to be fit then they'll say well these are all the activities that i want you to help me to do i want you to help me to create a structured routine ok i want to get to the gym three times a week i want to start eating five times a day they go through all those time ok we're not even there yet w amount and become a lot more strategic about how we're approaching this right ok and so what we do is we help them see that leading doing those things it's part of a balanced lifestyle but unless you're addressing the rocks the big ro ok you're never going to build a sustainable k and so people associate the fitness activities with leading a prefer status lifestyle but it's actually addressing the items in their gap that clears that runway and brings those worlds together correct does that make sense yes you earlier as i'm trying to get all of this when i said to earlier let's say i know i'm getting up today and my plan today is to go on my treadmill but something will come up to say to me that you know what you c that time to do this because you're really short on time so am i in like not wanting to go along just fine me whatever excuse like ten you actually hit on it a little bit earlier the biggest rock that people's gap is that they fundamentally don't believe in themselves there's a lack of love and belief that's been formed by way of the experiences they've had in their life do you think and go ok but it is that saying i don't believe i can get yeah yeah yeah do you find that this when you get to the bottom of what's causing this does it relate back to childhood something that happened or some other from my attic experience like what is that thing or for worse many times the experiences that we've had in our past will cause us to believe something about ourselves and so those beliefs create a set of rules so for instance ok somebody who grew up and for whatever reason they've had an experience  cause them to think that they're stupid ok if they're in class and they have a question guess what they're not going to do you didn't answer no they're not going to raise your hand because they think they're stupid you know and if they do raise their hand and they ask a stupid question what's going to happen then going to laugh yeah and it's going to validate what they were already already so it just can't building on it's right and that's why we avoid putting ourselves out there for a fact that we actually people may find out that what we already believe about ourselves is true and did he commit it but let's go to read only ok well i would say that you know when it comes to our physical environment we have to appreciate we're body mind spirit right ok there's three aspects to us so to speak we assume that if we address the body we're going to become healthy first and then happiness will follow that that is the general us and help me become healthy and in turn yeah i hope i got it ok why d thing people often ask me oh well what should i do here ok and when i do it i throw the ball back in their court because if i don't help them struggle through that process of finding answers or salut yeah self yeah ok then they're relying on me forever to dig deep to find what it is they do right because you don't know what's in there buried in their subconscious or i don't and it's an unraveling process so right form a relationship with somebody even if they want to spill all the beans they couldn't possibly remember everything around ok so what they're going to start to share with me as i create a safe space yes that's the most in very very i don't feel safety ok then you're not going to get are not going to express themselves they won't be able to give or receive love they want to experience peace or joy yet so safety is the most important yes so what we do is we define their preferred status but we know we're going to have the difficult work of heading into our gap to deal with the problems of a loss yes but that takes courage yet takes a lot of edge to step in especially when it's not a linear solution though because they're saying you know what i need you to help me diet exercise better to reach your goals right and i said that's not at all what we need to do is we actually need to get you to feel good about you further as if you feel good first then you're going to do the things that that that reinforce i got it you're going to be motivated to do those things automatically so i don't have to fight wow this is so cool because that's the approach that we use for this to me is mind body space  physical space right because that has to support all these things but it comes from here first a part of that like we say we talk about honoring your own right and that journey of on covering what's holding you oh yeah yeah and then it's gone so what i what i don't realize when i discovered that phenomena was how can that many people be wrong every guy yes yes that's a great degree quite a lot of smart people  weeks what we call the starting point discovery process which helps to some someone to create a foundation in their life from which they can build upon too many times we try and go at it we go balls to the wall ok r d o lifting weights a diet we have a stable foundation we still haven't addressed our fundamental why we haven't dug deep and done those mental gymnastics yes to ensure that we're doing the right things for the right reasons because many times people will do the right things but for the wrong reasons and a wrong reason would be if i'm doing it because my from you so we help people do before we even really get engaged in the physical tactical side of things is what your purpose and the big question yeah so we set him on the path to discover their purpose what do you value ok and i say you were saying earlier about not being on the stick to you have a desire to write to write to do a set routine in terms of exercising and it's for my health and i realize for me it's truly for my health right things within a day that's what how my mind rally so what i would say to you is we need to make sure we don't become critical of ourselves because we're all doing the best we can yet with little knowledge of right right totally right and so then we know when we can shift from criticism to compassion we can right or to get ahead i ok in that first initial phase of finding your why your purpose is that really a series of questions rather than a routine you start with has got to be valve it is so i film a video there's plenty of space for them to say you know what i answer these questions but here's what i realized or here's what i thought about and so we kind of create a space for this to come together in a unique way according to the individuals needs and i mean really it's a tailored individual program it sounds like it isn't the problem with that with most programs is that they're very protocol driven do this get that right right i can't do that because it doesn't respect the principle of individuality so if we want to if we're prioritizing individuality then what we need to do is step away and say you know i don't have the answers i know you want to go this way and so i have a vested interest in getting you to go that way but i don't know how it's going to come together so what i'm going to do is i'm going to create a template because what you're going to do is you're going to fill in the blank your individual experience right ok yes we write visions for our businesses right yeah but we don't want them price out to lose so we help people to break down the key aspects of their life much like your life to point to and then right what is your preferred status life look like in these areas and then we give them unique ways of starting to act as if they're already there but that takes a lot of courage yeah right now do you find that some people come to you but they're not ready to go there oh absolutely well they're ready there are stages of change ye ok so i've studied several change models and a lot of them are confusing yes all right so when we start talking about pre contemplation and contemplation and operation those terms are all scary so what i've done is i've boil them down into very simple human words first of all change because there's a problem we assume that change or that we're serious about change and we're taking action yeah yeah i'm taking i'm serious because i'm doing good i'm making an absolute right yeah but that's where we go wrong because then we consider that changes in events and not a process yeah ok process starts with awareness yes right the awareness is that where you are today is not where you want to be exactly that is the most important part of change and awareness but there's still one more step before we take action accountability yes you have to be fully accountable to your situation be responsible for it and own it right if you don't own it you can heal from it right correct so we help people first become aware ok and that's great that they're aware would be harder for me to convince you that you're not where you want today right then for you to be aware of what you're saying then to take them to become more accountable now that's difficult it's hard to own up to something right but then once they've taken responsibility ownership for it then we can call them to action because action will be meaningful right now that they've gotten through that process and so i had a client who came in yesterday for instance and says you know he's like i feel horrible i've been coming in here once a week now for almost two months and people haven't done anything at home and i said well i'm not willing to minimize the quality of our relationship so whether or not you're for me your home or teen ok ok much bigger than that yeah yeah what's happening is there's there's a world within him that's starting to change yes he's coming in with a oh if i'm not doing the dying exercise routine i'm doing horrible then we're losing all progress what's going on within you what's going on upstairs what are you tracking how your thoughts are affecting your emotions and therefore your behavior right right so we need to zoom out and really look at the whole picture so what we help people do to process this information is we expose them to what we call their environment get reminded of your life to know there are six key areas that we focus on the first is mindset most people come in with the biggest aspiration but they're also their own worst critic or biggest again that's true and people claim that yeah yeah yeah i get that yeah so if you're in your own way forget reaching your goals yeah you got to get out your way not going to but let's put it in its rightful place it's not the most important thing so that is actually this is the order of how we see is the most important ok by way of experience so first is mindset i've got to help you get your mind on your side ok the second thing we need to do is then look at stress what we're doing with you yeah unfortunately is when i was getting so granular what are you doing in this one aspect your life what i was unable to do and i didn't have the knowledge right zoom out right right and the right that's right because the big picture would have made me look at the stress first one with yourself hundred percent yes yes yes and i might say it's that relationship but yes you know well god and yeah yeah i agree yeah yeah i agree so it's then about many times when we find people coming in not only are they overweight but they're usually depressed it's one of the first questions was is what's the quality relationship they've got strained relationships on the home front we need to fix those right that's going to help you to get out of survival mode and get your body to start prioritizing your health ok i can't do both right  movement so nurse run a movement or at the bottom of the leg yes yes i love this thing roach ok i def when that i mean because i have you know we're doing something similar for your physical space but this is so and it's to your ear in your own way but the lot of people are so unaware because the model has always been the action piece for rather than mine ok yeah well that's what i was taught as a professional i wasn't taught how to deal with the mind happening with our clients that we can anticipate getting promotions that were quitting their job and going for their passion their dreams restoring relationships yes things of that nature and we say ok that's completely that's obviously not what they came to us for right and they've also been giving credit to us for helping them too because we're not focused on their goal we're focused on their environment ok when you're environments and balance your goals come to you most of that right right you at last the right track that you bring out your life and so we start getting a lot of referrals ok for people who are actually not in the state so that we start hopping i've been on the call ok so that's how that grew right ok i'm when we realize we we still only have so much manpower right so we did was we spent the last two and a half years now creating an people find you right you know where is your studio like how does that have to learn the learn how to deal we're in central new jersey ok but the online program just twenty bucks an hour ok well i want to make it accessible i don't want to come across as a commodity but we want to make it accessible because  people's demands are high in the resources low rider resources aren't just low within their body right it's their finite right like absolutely everything right only get that so we don't want price to be a stumbling block so for twenty bucks a month people go to condition for life dot com ok sign up for the free trial of your tried out for seven days