welcome to stop my crisis i'm your host vivian gaspar and we're here today to help every single one of you because i dare say there's probably not a human being who doesn't have  fear fear something what is your fear and remember the old adage the number one fear is really the fear of public speaking the number two fear is the fear of dying and what do they say that's really unfortunate true that you'd probably rather be in the she is recognized as an expert in personal development and peak performance strategies calliope has helped thousands of people become better spouses parents and successful people she went from pro golfer to doctor acupuncture and now phobia relief expert welcome calliope thank you so much for him for having me so tell us when gallup has been asked fifty one percent of america emitted to being afraid of snakes but according to the national institute of health four hundred ninety nine people out of five hundred who are bit by the venomous snakes well actually survive so what are they afraid of tell us why so that doesn't really make any sense does it right not to be looking at statistics and probability is right right that's right and so the likelihood of surviving is greater than anything and so what happens with a fear of a snake let's say most of the time is that it's a great big picture moving in towards the person and we really don't care about who what where and when it all started it just matters how they're thinking about it and once we realize how they're thinking about it we can change it so are there any very common exactly when you sort of wonder ok so what happens on november first that we put the band on clowns again or take away the band so maybe they all of sudden have this fear eliminated because they all met with you for well it could be me and some of the people who came in with the with the clown phobia they had seen these movies with clowns who did strange things and that's what put the pictures in their head min of stephen king well that's right in fact it was that one movie that one movie called it based on his novel that has brought in a lot of people into my office and probably the worst case scenario was when one of my clients was a mom and she actually left her child unattended in times square after getting a clown you can imagine how terrible she felt about it when oh yeah so this could be real so a limiting feeders can actually prevent crisis because i can't imagine a mother doing that i'm a mother and she couldn't imagine yourself doing that really that's incredible until it happened wow yeah i hope there was no tragic outcome fortunately not think the baby is ok everything's alright thank god but it letter to a point where she said no more and so that's when she came in to see me and within a half hour we took care of her and she dressed up like a clown rudderless of the band so other than clowns what else is something that's a common a fear of flying fear of heights so that the snakes tell us in a new jersey or in this vicinity just try standing area do we really encounter snakes and how specially venomous one that's right it in fact most of the venomous snakes or in australia  not not as well i mean that's your plan on traveling to australia it's not a big deal that's right and so lots of people fear dogs spider really don't that's common yeah i don't know what percentage of dog owners there are but i am that's everyone i know is that's right and you know most of the time it happens it starts when their kids and some it could be a little chihuahua even barking in their and suddenly they get very very scared and as you probably know when a child is a child everything is big and so it remains big when they become an adult and so what i do is just shrink down the size of the image of the dog inside their minds and point at black and white what that does just change the thought process so there's new or linguistic training in there or somewhere it does any of that come into play well most of the skills i use are based on n l p or n l p skills just for those who don't know what does that stand for it stands for neural and with that programming  just want to clarify i've heard of that but i didn't wasn't quite sure everyone is going to i'm yeah yeah and it's just basically a series of skills that are very quick and easy and actually that's when the things that make some so hard to believe is that they're so easy and quick so i know a lot of people for example the number one fear is that really still public speaking it is so but don't a lot of people's occupations will lie on public speaking for example if you're an executive you have to give a speech to the board of trustees or to perhaps you're in sales and you have to do an educationalist seminar but there's so many patients i believe that rely on the ability to give a public speaking engagement if they're too afraid to do it can't that holds them back in their ability to earn an income it's true and people have even quit their jobs because they knew that they would have to do some public speaking really at one of the board meetings when the big so much more says see you and get that you're a lemonade even but it would wow because there is hope so also i'm thinking about it when you go through college and a lot of people now go for higher degrees such as masters or doctorates right when you're going through college classes you have a lot of situations where you have to give a public speaking gauge when they go to the class or for that college even in high school so how do you get through that because i would think you'd want to tackle that because it could prevent you from achieving in life it sure can and one of the easiest things to do is imagine people being totally interested in what you're saying they're hanging on your every word that's right then they love hearing you listening to what it is that you have to say that's so intriguing to them because most of the time when people fear public speaking it's because they see people bored of them i've given hundreds if not thousands of public speaking engagements myself as a k of spoken about foreclosure and i actually wonder if someone were afraid of speaking thinking this i'm not what should someone do because i really want to just with so common and we want to hope people go forward in life not be held back can you think of another strategy you could show to help people in general absolutely if for instance they get their family members to sit on the couch stand in front of them and actually just stand there practicing and ask their family members so is this interesting so that they at least get the feedback that yes you are very interesting you're engaging me and also if they story tell if they use stories to actually do whatever it is that they want to get across the more intriguing the audience will be i'm intrigued in what you're saying and if there was fifty of me i think we would all be equally intrigued the point that you're trying to make i believe is if you practice you also eliminate your fear perhaps  your family members and sort of sitting on sofas maybe there's a grass or some space where you could line up chairs as i can audience would be right that's right so make it more realistic for what they would encounter in real life that's right so we have to wrap up now can you give one quick little additional take away that if anyone has any fears that there is definitely hope because you can always control how it is that you think about something and as dr bill maher says when you change how you think it changes how you feel which than changes how you do things calliope i appreciate you coming to educate all of us on addressing and overcoming your fears and phobias simply put here and stop my crisis we need to not just stop it mitigate it but overcome it and move beyond and if you have a fear that's bothering you tell me how you're serving your family your children yourself maybe you have dependent parents a lot of generational sandwich people exist you know they have small kids take care of and they have elderly parents but if you can't truly make the most of your life you're not helping anyone attack those phobias and fears and now blossom welcome stopped my crisis and here with me today i have jim cullum jim has been a certified professional consulting him test for over thirty two years he has lectured and given workshops around the country and worked with clients nationwide on a variety of issues jim thank you so much because i'm always one to designing and deep bunking myths and misconceptions and i think hypnosis is wroth with m conception so tell me something that goes a line along those lines well interestingly enough years ago lucille ball filming the lucy show went to a nightclub as part of the skit they were in acting and pat columns a very famous female hypnotist from back in the day was the hypnotist there and lucy was supposed to after she was hypnotized reply with the phrase my name is lucille  i work for the first national bank and they didn't know that she was a diplomatic subject it would pat collins to this very rapid induction she was actually him a toy so when i asked her her name and her occupation instead of following a script she said my name is lucille ball and  i didn't know she was also the owner i doubt she was just the actress but she must have been authentically hypnotized she was take much to be hypnotized that easily what does that say about a person well there are only a small percentage of people who can be really no one walking around cluck and i could chicken right or leave the stage show and they're having a great time doing it in the center of attention and having fun they're there to entertain and that's just what they do so what can hypnosis really do what is the benefits knows this is a natural state that each of us experiences every day so tell me how does that really benefit people well when you're experiencing the natural hypnosis that we go through every day you don't realize it at the t it's something that just happens dozens of times every day the two were definition is focused concentration when you focus all your attention well on one thing and you block out all the distraction you are in a state of hypnosis give me a good example of that you're driving your car you go into a familiar destination your minds are the thought what you have it for dinner later tonight you're taking a trip with a weekend you're thinking about the trip and all of a sudden you'll arrive at that destination and you'll say wow you know what do we remember driving the last half a mile i actually did that about twenty years ago somehow i was trying to get from queens across to g w b and next thing i end up in yonkers but you got there safely i did i ended up driving very s and i was so surprise i've no idea how i did that so i know exactly what you're talking about and hypnosis is much more than weight control and smoke stopping smoking as i understand what else can you can you do and accomplish with this gnosis can you give me a very interesting example of that please sure i've helped people study for our examinations i have had low years who passed the bar exam i worked with pain control i work with sports that notices people playing better golf and tennis and  explored actually because they learned to do self hypnosis and rehearsal technique that we teach them so wait a second let's back up for a second you said pain control so do you mean that if someone gets a gnosis perhaps they have chronic pain work with medical hypnosis there's only one requirement we have to have written permission from the physician no if you're with the dentist there's your permission right there that's easy any other case that somebody would come to me for i need a referral from the doctor but i will teach the patient self hypnosis and different techniques they can use for the pain situation they can go home and practice and help to alleviate the pain when it happens do you  extreme cases when helpless is says you had mentioned previously has been around for a long long time could you have anything else that might be practical now that someone's done with hypnosis perhaps and you may not of thought is logical that for most people but for you it's something that may have occurred with one of your clients well actually i had a student come in to see the fifteen year old boy he came in for the study and recall program and when he came and i told him how to do the self  hypnosis his mother called me a few months later that he passed his exams very well she was very happy a few months a few that i received another phone call from him he had been in the hospital and he called me to me and i was totally surprised he said i helped save his life and that really blew me away when i call him back to find out what happened he said he was out riding his bicycle when he was hit by a car my gosh and he had a severe injury he was our cut up for our underneath his right arm and he had a lot of bleeding and he was so afraid as he was lying there in the street as the police and fire department arrived he said i hypnotized myself just like you taught me and i want to play special place where i feel safe and i felt comfortable and i stayed there and when i went to the hospital they had to do surgery to stop the bleeding and the surgeon told him later after the surgery that he didn't know what the boy did but if you were not able to relax as profoundly is your relaxed you might have bled out before you came in he literally could have bled to death if he had not already learned self hypnosis from you exactly that is completely amazing and dumbfounded i was so shocked to hear you say that so what actually can be a more practical day to day applications so what is something that's very common and again i want to stay away from the weight loss and smoking you know stop smoking so give me another example that an adult or someone that you wouldn't think of for example i have a clearly with confidence so i understand that you have other instances that perhaps somewhere in history you had mentioned that this could be a political this is something that we hear about it today there's a lot of people who are bible really not by word hypnosis itself the word was not coined in tolly eight hundred by james brady a physician but i think it's genesis twenty two twenty one somewhere in there is that the old no in india the wars in in high sin that's amazing so but in today and right now we're heading into two thousand and two thousand and seventeen so nowadays how what type of clients do you see most regularly what can an average person benefit from hypnosis with you or i work with so many different things stress management people who want to do spot public speaking was very common fear so you help people overcome that fear yes so they can get in front of the audience five hundred people a thousand people and make their presentation comfortably feeling good and getting it all out the way they'd like to i think a lot of people's occupations may rely on a confident public speaking even if they're not public speaker by trade for example c level executives might have to give a lot of speaking engagements perhaps to their board of trustees so people don't realize the different professions that need to incorporate public speaking correct exactly and so give us one more example as and we could wrap this up today because i find this really truly fascinating oh i guess i could write a book about the example i had been actually flown out of state to a couple  who they were both physicians the daughter had all sorts of collide as so severe that her doctors wanted to remove her entire large intestine and give her a permanent collage to me and i went to their home and i flew out of states a visit her i worked with her i taught her how to do self hypnosis hypnotizer several times that day and came home i made her a cd i sent of the cd and she was using self hypnosis probably four or five times every day as well as using the cd about six months later i get a call from the family that they just returned from the clinic again and she no longer needs the surgery that they also have been healing well and they were very impressed that's amazing speaking of surgeries did you not mention to me recently right before our interview actually that you had done emergency last minute hypnosis to help someone in order to go alleviate the discomfort the fear the fears the big one how about you had mentioned that you were able to lower blood pressure so they were able to have the services they needed i had i had a call from a local hospital one night about eleven o'clock and the patient was going to have major surgery the next day but her blood pressure was through the roof and they had given her so much medication they can't give anymore because it's cool barbara bottoming out a they're pressure will just crash down and that's a dangerous thing so they asked me to come in and i hypnotized her in the room and brought her blood pressure down almost thirty points in about twenty five minutes that's amazing so jim thank you so much debunking the vast majority of myths we have surrounding around hypnosis it's not a theatre show it really really helps people on day to day life struggles and sometimes critically in medical emergencies and situations thank you stop my crisis host vivian gas fire and so many times when people in the midst of crisis think about your own life don't you just feel like giving up hope sometimes i know it sounds hokey i'm aware that but really if you think about it a positive attitude is really about having hope and i thought this is such an important thing after sitting in hundreds and hundreds of families homes remediating foreclosure and i've seen such a common thread that i actually wanted to talk about this a little bit with my audience here today i brought in with me michelle nagel she is america's number one resilience expert think about that resilience also incorporates having hope that is so key we'll find out exactly how much so she is the author of suffering is optional out of the darkness and into the light she is a certified jack canfield success principles teacher and the president of soul shift inc for the past fifteen years she has been conducting seminars and workshops providing tools to help people overcome their living beliefs and live the life of their dreams and how do you live the life you dream without hope think about it are you hopeful in your thoughts or negative in your thoughts so right now i would really like to say michelle thank you so much to talk about a subject that most people think is just hokey what is the facts around there does it seem to be critical or not what can you tell us about the reality and the importance of having hope well positive thinking is it can actually do so many things for you in so many different ways it can make your perception of pain thirty percent less just by having positive thoughts about it and actually and they have studied that the nuns who have the most positive outlook on life after they pass away they've been studying up for thirty years now so out they pass away they do the autopsies and they discover that even the ones who have the also higher plaques on their brain are able to they didn't manifest as in their lifetime because they were so positive so even though they actually had the disease it didn't manifest that's amazing so there's physical correlations behind your thought process yes that's made in his amazing yeah so why does hope matter to a normal average individual middle class or perhaps even a little bit lower class for a middle class individual what does it really matter the concept people think that's so disney or hokey or hollywood even we all know examples of people that we have observed in our lives who are having perhaps a life that we would not choose and yet they are happy and they're cheerful and they're going through their life and they don't feel all that pain and anguish because they have a positive mental outlook and we all know people like that what can you do to illustrate just one or two more facts about positive thinking that illustrates having hope well happily may married people have higher coping skills than people who are not and it helps also to have somebody to take care of you when you're ill just logistical facts right and it's really miserable to be sick by yourself i mean it's just having somebody who actually shares that love with you makes all of your realty to get well it increases all of your immune system again back to the immune system it helps us be very healthy and well and also a dutch study showed that people who were happy had a seventy seven percent lower incidence of heart disease seventy seven percent lower heart disease those i don't think are numbers that anyone can ignore that's very significant so what is something easy that an average person could do right now to promote positive thinking in themselves take a hundred percent responsibility for yourself don't complain and blame other people for the circumstances that you have in your life you may not have chosen them but right this specific second you can choose to do something about it you can choose the way you look at them and having that change in your mindset is going to change your entire life it really does that is a very good point because it's not about what happens to you or the forces that cause them to have been to you it's how you react to them correct the response is the only thing that you can control you may not my my uncle had a tragic accident while he was buying a wedding gift for his my aunt and it was a tragic accident but did my aunt respond in really negative horrible fashion she didn't she celebrated the fact that she had had sixty years with this wonderful ma'am and her whole affectation attitude towards his passing was that she was grateful for the time that she had spent with him and grateful for their children and she was really good example for me because she lived a very very ripe old age ninety eight ninety eight and she was very happy and very positive at all times i think what you're saying is having that positive attitude perhaps living in a state of gratitude can even along gave your life because let's face it who wouldn't love to live to be ninety  eight gratitude is always very important and when you do have the gratitude everything just goes better and if you find that your life is kind of challenging and you're struggling look for the silver lining it sounds trite and it sounds like it's cliche but it's really important and when you look for the silver lining it again brings the endorphins up brings you up makes you happier and that will help your whole life better listen to michelle and the other positive people and it might sound hokey or trait but it's not you'll find the shift within yourself if you hold on to just the positive aspects of what you have available