in your space it's all about using color and design and the psychological impact that it has on our lives when we apply it properly to a room so if we have a space that feels good like what i like to say feel good he'll good but i want to take it a step further because i have a very good friend of mine on my show right now and i'm going to introduce or and the name i want to take the name of our show we're this is going to be a complete departure of how i usually do our show we're basically just going to have fun because you know why we don't care and the name of the show is why we're happy we're not thirty anymore because we don't care so having said that i want my very good friend dr joy oh d total wellness advocate author host of her own show on this station by the way dr joy welcome i am too i just i think that this show honestly it to the audience we don't care this is about us right now if you want to join in and watch great ok so and if you don't we don't care look we're matching this is look lovely i would like the intro having said that i think it's you being a doctor first of all and being a health and wellness advocate and what i just said moments ago gives it so much more validity when you talk about health and wellness because you know it from the inside out and when we were joking around at first about the show we wanted to do something like this last year and now it's i think come to fruition about us not caring right but what's nice about approaching our age in my l things and not care so much right because it's going to impact your life on a very healthy level and you're going to you're going to age gracefully you're going to be mentally competent and it's going to be a beautiful thing am i right you are one hundred percent right and with that if you don't care that means you reduce conflict and my most recent book are we functioning under conflicting knowledge every day the answer to caring about what our neighbor is doing what our friends are going to say i'm good in that maybe contrary to what we believe internally and that that's going to cause internal conflict like i don't like getting there we don't want to have thing like that i don't want that and that causes stress and it impacts your mental wellness d because one of my favorite quotes that i came up with is a stable mind is the key to total wellness and that's true  simple as that the mind is in control of everything right and one of my tag lines which goes so beautifully with yours as it relates to the home is feel good feel good oh yeah it is not about how your space looks it is about how it makes you feel and that's what we're talking about feeling good in our mind our body our space so i thought we would prove a list of things that maybe we don't care about anymore that have personally given me great two outcomes either you win or you learn and both of them are blessings and so do a little pivot shift and think of failure how most people say oh failure i failed and failed think of it is key personal whether it's or in a relationship it doesn't matter right nothing is or should be perfect and perfectly imperfect people are are the best right you know to be perfectly imperfect perfectly imperfect and you know here's the deal what's perfect to me might not be perfect to you and if i try to continuously please and try to meet somebody else's perfect within my own world you know i'm going to have conflict so i just let it go so one of the things that segues right into that is i remember in my twenty's and my thirty nine and maybe entered into my forty's i used to care very much if someone like me or not  what i don't care about for a long time don't care yet i don't care but i had a situation i won't say what who when where what and i met somebody person was very clear there was no in the car and i said i don't care i didn't care if elt so good to not care yes you know what i also don't care about what they get personal this is what has this happened to me recently in the in may i say i can s i don't care what was there i spun over they stopped the conversation and looked my way as if they had never had gas and you and i believe you being a doctor knows that's impossible well it's healthy because i have it you rather it out then and then in so my own skin right which is healthy which is very healthy in my pj's with my cup of tea or my warder with my portal under my legs and my husband sitting across from me i'm good if you ruin your day right in my day in penitentiary so what does that cause conflict conflict cannot have that can have a oh it's gone and i'm ok and i will tell people now it's alright if you don't if you don't invite me you don't have enough tickets or or you change your mind i'm good yeah and these are things that our audience if they're watching it together sit watching but if they're not we don't care but if you are watching these are things i think we'll watch i think they're watching take notes honestly i know we're making a lot we're having a lot of fun because we don't care and we want to keep it light but you want you to love fun you know this isn't a serious list of things that it's serious it's serious and that you shouldn't care fear of being left out no really really ridiculous maybe not at the time we thought so not so much and you know what their humor learning is from there like if someone continuously you know leaves you out of your situation there's a kid learning you're not their priority so what do you maybe a little bit and when i was younger with the keeping up with the jones on i really really don't care about bad but a lot of people base oh my god you know what when i'm doing somebody's house a lot of times they'll say well my so and so has this or that i don't care first thing i say to them is this space or your space it's just about you your special reflect your style there is no style should be ecologic which is you know same thing with the clothing same thing with food i don't follow any fashion is i could care less and i don't care what's in fashion i don't care what if i if i like the way i feel in it i wear and i  and so how do you found that as we get older that that we're just evolving into that person who doesn't care in a good way well i agree and but touching on keeping up with the joneses oh how i was never that girl good i was never that girl's only child so i was just never that girl in my husband and i don't operate that way so if my neighbor across the street has a pole that's nice i might not want to do that i mean my money somewhere else but it's good for you know and i'm happy you  get a car so it's all going to chip i got to go do that me now no because you know what that's very different it's good for them is good for them and plus we don't know how people really do it we don't there's a lot of secrets that  here we get a lot of the artist and it's not that when you see somebody is life you only see a microcosm of that person's life pretend it's someone's life it's a five hundred piece puzzle and what you see of that person is only a couple of pieces you don't see you don't see the whole box everybody has that many pieces and everybody has triumphs and failure everybody has trauma drama drama terrible you can't feel or pretend like you don't feel that way right once you get over it get a little right go let it go let it go let it go cuz it's better out in and those are really really important things to talk about i mean i did talk about it in one of my chapters about my pity party it was called nutella and men in high waisted pants that was the name of the chapter ok and it was and i just book it's fabulous thank you so much about just and i need to read your new book very much  excited right you know why because you let the old you let the past go that's right i don't care anymore you close that door once you don't care you are you you are right superwoman yeah you are like a wonder woman you don't care because those things just really are  like to have one it flies off of you and that story that i told in my book about nutella was i was at a low moment feeling sorry for myself i sat on the floor with a tub and you tell a pretty much ate the whole thing but then when i was done i moved on you o is we can embrace those things and we can say gee i'm not feeling so great today that's healthy to acknowledge it yes when we suppress it ten there's nothing wrong that increases the stress the high blood pressure you want me to keep going we don't want to keep yelling no but it does no and you jack you increase your respiration and your blood pressure get tense your stomach turns in knots over what over the fact that what could be something as simple as ok this happened to me on the set before i was i shot another show guess what oh well sat on the sat here and the girls were uneven i mean even through the entire show i don't care i try to fix them i could not they didn't want to cooperate be we got to stop cut you know here's the thing kevin race your flaws and try to find some humor in oh yes in everything i as i think that that that the healing power of laughter is extremely powerful get a laugh worst situation i may keep it to myself and i may be politically incorrect but in my brain sometimes when there's something awful going on it's a small rest for me i can be in an inappropriate in my head make fun of whatever find some humor rest for those few moments and then deal with the trauma or the adversity whatever don't we always do if it were you know it's almost like a way to escape within yourself for a moment if you're going through something really horrible right  airplane if you don't put the oxygen mask on his so corny but it's so true on yourself first you can't help the child next to you or whoever whomever is next to you via so you really do have to come first and i think as women maybe in general sometimes in those days where connor raised you know you've got to do everything for everyone else that is don't let it get to you and then if this book is talked to that point i have not read this book so i may have to be this book talks about yourself first it's not a selfish act it is and then that way you can be better for others it's true you are actually better rather than not the right you really are because now you've given the time for some mental health right perhaps some physical rest right british you need right and i don't know about you but when i was in the during that thirty's error i was the yes person if someone asked me something i said yes to everything i would over extend myself whether it was in business oh i can do that i could i was in my eyes i don't remember a member oh yeah i know that i'm here i'll do this i can do that i'll pick that up all this i know is ok actually it's healthy to say no it's very healthy yes and it's and see the thing about it is why did you why did you say yes i know why i said i do tonight the same thing do we have the same reason why i think i said yeah i said yes because i wanted to be included i wanted to help someone i was on talking about the scale oh no no real like really like when you can lift up those those burdens fry you and you can't stop worrying about you know what else i just see this is another one that weighs what  no i can't say that's why i have my classes and forgetting someone's name i know this is assuming one guess what i don't care about i will simply say i'm so sorry having a middle aged brain fart yet least tell me your name again yes instead of do you do you remember the days where you phonetically for the show but if i had messed it up guess what it would have been fine because jodi is not like you to first one that would have messed up my last name so it's ok it's ok and it's not as not to do with it's not is thing personal no it's not  that go wrong that was a wonderful yes and the reason why i got it that book and i've given it is what you're going through at the time i got it because i was going through something oh yeah i own i had just been released from my duties within life financial services firms i was laid off and i was so excited because i hated the job but i was so excited so at the time i was still in that mindset of being in corporate america where i was moving can do whatever you want or you saw the video of the video i should do so again it's not kerry what the style is it's not caring i wanted to do that pattern i don't care what the style is this is me my style is me this is you this is what what i think this is we're trying to let everybody in the audience know is that just the authenticity might be the key word here just be yourself let it go and live in the now don't hold on to the past because that makes you really really bitter something you have conned ok i'm going to say the next one and i know it's in there and then the other thing is so don't live in the past right live in the now so here's the last one is don't live in the future because that's fear right and that's in that book right and to be present and to embrace yourself and be grateful all gratitude is hugh my gosh i never realized in this took me a long time that that's really important oh absolutely go in for now i'll share something if i have a moment it's twenty six point two so ok then i won't know how long is it really quick i hear it's a gratitude moment good a friend of mine has suggested she's a life coach she has suggested that every day i write down i am grateful so i think i'm up to three thousand eight hundred no yet three thousand eight hundred and sixty five at it and i sold out every day and it has changed my life i believe it and i do it out loud i do it or i you say it out loud so i'm doing the same thing same thing having said that i can't believe we're at the end  so much for being on the show are so well it was just a pleasure to have a lot of fun it was a lot of fun jodi tobit sylia weed in the divorce court and much more as you can see thank you