i am so happy to welcome minks boren to this program she's an extraordinary author poet coach teacher and innovator i always look forward to her input and her ideas she has a huge following but she also has huge humility about her role thank you so great to be here so this title is captivating me what is  yes and presence to make them worthwhile for us to be able to ride into these early years it seems to me that for many people the experience is not want to growing bolder but perhaps becoming more timid or frail how do you reconcile that experience with your concept of boulder first of all altered does not necessarily mean mean jumping on and actually consider who am i now who by the come which is my life generally about and what do i want to do with that now for some people it's a back and quiet it's about taking a retreat i did a gap year partly because i had broken my wrist and i couldn't write and i couldn't type and i couldn't do anything so i took the time to reflect deeply on who am i now what do i want to do with the precious years that remain i love your term gap year you know you think of gap year of high school students taking a year before going to college but you've taken that concept of a time of retreat for yourself yes did you have people around you saying you have to stay busy you got to keep doing something at that period first of all i was coming off some very intense years before moving into  was president of executive women and each is which was a three year actually five years of commitment terribly and i was at a point where i needed to think what mallard what next i'd already cutlash two books with blue mountain and they were out and so there was all of a rack going on there was a lot and i was very busy and i like being busy it wasn't about that i was stopped dead  my tracks when i broke my wrist in the surgery and surgery a year later and i took a deep breath one of the things and interesting is i look back through fifty years  albums and i began to really recreate story of my life the journey of my life by taking five or ten photos from each year and some significant events that happened and putting them into three tremendous value that week i could look back there i gave one to my son so that he could see our journey and in doing that there's a threat sometimes willingly we know just where we're going and sometimes because life to show something your face and you need to make a change and go on a direction you haven't even considered but the universe has met you halfway and that's a significant number in my life i must be grown up i know there's a point at which i really must be a grown up now how i wanted to use the time while i have this energy  overcome any inner voices you know so many women particularly have been conditioned to be caretakers and to put themselves second to whatever their circumstances did you have to overcome any conditioning of that sort what do you say to people who have that particular mindset i think there are different times in a life where different obligations an opportunity come to the fore so for example if we go way back i had a child who was very ill had severe asthma and i at that time had a wonderful business that i was growing up and i walked back to school to come a nutritionist i learned how to cook healthy together read my son and i found a way that supported his well being was like straws on the camel's back we kept getting rid of things that that interfered with is available to be healthy so the gifted back because the universe works in odd ways here i was being such a good mother what i learned changed my whole life opportunity to follow with very different half than the one that i had originally envisioned everything as if we don't see it until we get to see it whole and later on well that's good testimony for someone who lived over seventy years because if you say everything is the gift you've been able to witness the transformation of things into gives something both think of better than abstract concept but you can say you've seen it happen but let's take let's take your journey right now certainly many older people are dealing with the fear of illness the fear of losing family and friends how do you on a day to day basis grapple with that hands and his wife who's a very dear friend how do i honor the journey that we share together i love that we don't talk about funeral so much as we talk about celebrations of life now when people come together after someone dies that's important in terms of illness what i want to do and i have certainly struggled with my own illnesses o life time is approach them with as much grace and grit and a certain gratitude for what i still can do no matter what's going on i don't get to control the things that are out of my control i get to eat healthy and i get exercise right now i specifically use the word get i don't have to it's a cribbage that i can get up and walk it's a privilege that i have access to it's i get to eat well by doing that i am making choices to flourish to the extent that i can at  this time that's brilliant your use of language i mean obviously you're a poet as well mix but your that subtle shift of get to as opposed to have to is an indication of how you value language and how you value words to have words been powerful for you in your own transformation in your own development they've been  development when i was very young because of challenges in my own life and in my own family i learned how to journal when i was ten years old when i started my first journal i've been journaling ever since i find that by putting words on paper i'm able to actually shape them actually think and through we can talk very fast and we  use lots of words to put it down on paper is to find the right words what is that i want to say how do i want to say cram there i am writing poetry in my twenty's or thirty's never showed it to anyone or shared it until much later and as an interesting story around that because i was in school to become a coach i was learning this is when coaching first began twenty years  first call i was moved to read a home i had written and it was hidden in a shoe box and so i pulled it out and i read it now oh this is wonderful we're going to get the book we want this new book many women can benefit from your newsletter from your ideas what would you like other women to embrace from your message if they if you if they can read the book and take away something into three parts the first it's called aha moments there's growing bolder so it's those moments where we know something that we didn't know before and i don't like changes because of that we could come away or something and we make i want people to own know stories and who they came in the process because i think that's essential what brought me to this moment in time and from that place find the ways that we have been bold and also the ways that we may have fallen short that we might not find it essential that's something i want to do while there's still time this growing both are written because i was confronted by a group of very dear friends we call ourselves try and all master cultures and we were in a conversation about how what what do we absolutely want to complete is that how does that mork into what's available to you now what your interests are now and then from there make choices about writing what does it was six or eight months and what they were talking about in those time worth happiness and then the standard it what does it mean to thrive and there are lots of pieces to it it's about being able to save her life it's about being able to be totally engaged in something it's about looking at meaning and purpose in your own life it's about acknowledging your meds i want people to do that i actually spend one chapter in the book talking about what it means to l'arche and how we go about acknowledging the ways we are and the ways we might yet take that to a next level and it's all personal it's not about having to go out and campaign into one  actually doing let's get gutsy programs that i started locally bringing ten women into our room to talk about what does it mean to get both in terms of tapping into your own g and that's a question that i am so grateful for from you mancs makes boren is the author of growing bolder and i am so delighted that we will have a chance to look at this book i can say to this audience that makes his writing is accessible it is necessary to have as a companion once you open a book you want to keep it by your side so it's more than just a book it's a way of being thank you so much concur was the most important teacher because he developed a tangible doable process like the ballet like playing a piano he only went as far as he could with that and i think i'm the person who's taken it and found a way to do it he'd discovered what i think in my studio i've been fortunate enough to work with very talented actors and so i had the process develop as to how do you do it it's very unsafe it demands a lot of outside work and it's not for people who were deluded it's for people who were clear that they want to have a life in the theatre it's not for people who are star struck there was a former student of mine he once told an acquaintance of mine that bob doesn't teach stars he develops actors and a few of them become stars you know and that's really the truth of it we live i'm an anachronism if you were almost becoming a dinosaur because of technology i know it seems like that's like my pet peeve it is in this art because everybody has a thirty second attention span and few people are willing to commit to that kind of hardcore craftsmanship and i don't think it's different in acting than it is and dance the major dance studios are suffering as well i think there's been a discarding of genuine craftsmanship you know that you can learn to act through tech and not technological efficiency my my place and what i teach is for people who know that they're a life or they're not in this for immediate gratification intent five years in and out having babies in sheboygan well a lot of people would view brando's as a failure because you know he left the theater after a very short span and never came back to it but you know when the american public never stopped asking for three fingers up well marlon brando if you take a sheet and look at his work and destroy a level of it i mean i can run through it by rote but we don't have t proper place which is william hazlitt the great english critic who's the father of dramatic criticism an english language said acting it is the truest and most intelligible picture of li it holds a glass up to humanity frailer than life itself it shows us all that we hope to be all that we dread to be and all that we might be that in his that given that you have such high standards do you find maybe two are maybe your standards are too high or your students able to achieve some of them some of the students come to study with me are not up to it a lot of them are not up to it the people that completed are absolutely satisfied and ready to work in the i've been teaching for forty three years in the forty years or forty and a half years since the first class completed the process i've only taught eighty six people of eighty six people somewhere between forty five and fifty years still involved in a profession where people go home i'm we have to be responsible for getting out important information important words conversations that may be overlooked on a regular basis i'm also interested in people finding a way to reach out and share with me their thoughts that may be overlooked there's a lot of anger and conflict and all kinds of issues out there that's not what i'm looking for i'm looking for people with thoughtful ideas that really want to air their vision air their concepts and maybe have an exchange with others my idea that and my belief that enlightened conversation can bring change we have an opportunity with what ever vehicle we've been given to get the good word out and that's what i believe my mission is sure i've been part of major broadcasting networks and local stations and i'm still begin involved in you tube and all kinds of other platforms because i have this desire to meet with thoughtful people to exchange ideas and that intersection at that point something new emerge something new may come forth that conserves society is through civil and peaceful discourse that we can bring about meaningful change that's why i do this program thank you for watching it's been a pleasure i'm phyllis ha