so what happened was it did not go to boston last year i was riddled with health issues i think when i was actually here in february i don't think it had happened yet but i got a blood clot in my arm it was probably there and i didn't realize it when i was here last time so st i had a blood clot in my arm which turned into a deep vein thrombosis they call it usually happens in the le i was my rd and got very very low so my iron stores got really really low actually claps to after race just wasn't getting enough oxygen to my brain and that's what was happening and then no it wasn't and but it was like right around the th mile so just in time to go uphill right and you know i did not qualify for boston this year i my time was a couple minutes off but as you know they lowered the qualifying time anyway but you finished the race anyway you know i went to the doctor the next day i went to my oncologist the next day and she said you have an ovarian cyst that ruptured that's why you were in such terrible pain even she was like i don't even know how you finished the race but yeah i finished i think i did like three hundred and thirty five something like that maybe three or thirty four apart from from boston the qualifying actually i started feeling pain in my chest my left breast actually started really hurting i thought maybe i pulled a muscle this is a month later after new york yeah  ovarian cancer ok you have the fed her about christmas time yeah a little meal and something in your breasts yeah like right underneath i felt something painful it wasn't terribly painful at st i thought maybe i pulled something at the june maybe us working out too hard so i was like let me just give it a couple days is a couple weeks and see what happens i was kind of like the beginning of december and then i wasn't going away it was getting worse it sort of looked like my implant was going up my chest so i emailed my plastic surgeon and took a picture of and sent it to her and she said it looks like we're implant flipped or ruptured and it's a come the day after christmas so i went in the day after christmas and she said no it definitely did not flip or rupture or something else going on long story short the last one started filling up with fluid i had it drained three times over a quarter of the leader of fluid was drained out of my last drafts and then the right side started filling up two but not quite as bad as be taken out you had a particular nurse from hell what did she say to you oh you're not going to get much out of this yeah yeah yeah she said oh we're not going to get much out of here because when she had looked at both ultrasounds they looked similar but she didn't realize that the right side was also filling up with fluid so that's why they look so similar and then yeah so when she had put the aspirate the fluid said we're not going to get much out and just fluid went everywhere so you were like a really like payback to her for being because i was in excruciating pain it was really me so the st time they got a quarter of a leader out and then i was drained two more times after that and they still just couldn't figure out what it was so i was hospitalized for a couple days they gave me i antibiotics because the oral antibiotics weren't doing anything the i v antibiotics didn't do anything either so that rolled out a bacterial infection and i you know went home after the hospitalization after they drain me again i'm a doctor is kind of just like ok you're done and i was like i'm still in pain and this doesn't feel right so we waited a couple more days and i was like they're filling up again especially a little left side and she said are right we have to do surgery so a couple days before the surgery we got results back from the left side started forming t be an indicator of lymphoma so we weren't just can't which has cancer you know so they were thinking of it being breast implant illness oh my go obviously you had your family there with a force of support but you must have been extremely angry at god god how much more wary my job were you know what or what is with that that you're trying to solve for the world but you august because i just didn't know it was happening and i really didn't feel like celebrating it was like let's just do like a small wedding but you know my fiance and my family really supported me in there like you know and this is what you do will make it work no matter what but yeah i have as you and i have talked to other people who have also had a mastectomy it's you really suffer from anxiety a lot and when something's not going right and you're ready have the b r c a gene you get even more anxiety and plus the my chest muscles were so tight because everything was swelling up and it was hard to move and the only time i was comfortable was when i was reclined i was mostly focusing on relief i just wanted to get the surgery done to get relief because it was constant pain i didn't lay on my side i nerves and that's what was causing me so much pain so what that means is the scar tissue school we used at the implant and then the scar tissue started to wrap around a nerve up in my shoulder  for lack of battle better words but yes so they were able to relieve me and you know she really felt like she made the right that we made the right decision to have surgery she cleaned everything out the t cells came back but it hadn't formed yet so now i have to go to her every six months to get a blood test every three months and she said if you even feel the slightest bit of buildup of fluid come right back in you're  which they gave me fresh implants for now but if i have this problem again i'll probably get them out do reconstruction a different way maybe use my own bad lemon fry and you kept everybody in for what kind of reactions were you were getting from people who were following you a lot of support so many people showed me so much support know and they were really appreciative of me sharing this story because honestly i didn't really think very much about my implants getting infected or something happening to them i thought on once this is done it's done it's over you know i think my doctor you know you believe your doctors and i do think my doctors have the best of intentions and you know they go along with the research and you know but still some things some freak things happen and if you're going to have the surgery if you're going to have a mastectomy if you're going to have a prophylactic mastectomy it's really important to know what can happen because i really i had i mean you told me about we talked about breast implant almost and i was just like oh whatever i kind of brushed it off but you know it's a real thing i mentioned to you there's so much information too much information on the internet so is your physical activity if i could term so for this so today i ran actually the longest i've run since december i ran six and a half miles which for some people is like the old me that's not that in terms of running for running i i i just want to have fun right now and and get back into the swing of things i really need my body just kind of resat last year was a we were planning on the city and then we were like let's go to westchester because that's where my church is so it's just easier getting married at the whitby castle and rye sounds beautiful and then career wise are you still with speech  praying that this is the worse you know you could finally get it of rest of the stages of your life right right yeah i'm ready to move on all right that's right all right there you so much  my family history and my chances with getting cancer it is very very scary and i remember when i was st told that i have the bras and soon i was terrified on how to return back to running after a mastectomy my health and journey both passed here with my breast implant illness and just suggestions on great sports bras to wear aster mastectomy and your survival kit for going into your mastectomy and then also i'm teaming up with and why are art to create a support team for women who have had a very cancer mastectomy is going to radiation came out everything even if you're not a survivor or a preview for i'm inviting all those care  ers out there who take care of us to come join us the more people the better the more support the better i gotta run my health care regimen completely changed