beautiful people welcome to the dr joy show your prescription for total wellness and your health dr joy you remember dr chop burger from my hundred and i told you at the end that there was going to be a part to well he's back today in studio and yes we're going to continue our conversation on is your lifestyle killing you and i want them to city and success and how to mitigate stress but before we get started you know what we do on the d see the book there but you know what he's in the same category as esther and jerry hicks if you don't know who they are google it marianne williamson i know you guys know who she is and also dr david back with the secret yes he is and that category the star all right welcome back let's just get into it you want to tell the viewers a little bit about yourself should just a little bit before we jump back in the p to sure a little bit about chuck were well born and raised bronx new york and there we are still twenty four years and what can i say my interest lay in german was basically all about i loved physical activity dr joy my interest when i went off to school ultimately was to become an exercise physiologist and like i may have mentioned last time life is serendipitous so as a result of serendipity i wind up planning to go off to the university of maryland and get sideswiped by this gentleman dr mike chimes chiropractor talks to me within twenty four hours excited about a subject matter i did not even know about myself in chiropractor college and here i am and during next year of my fortieth year and practice trying to help and support people on the level of their physicality on their emotional stability and recognizing that there is a huge correlation between our emotions and our physical health and that is surely and i want to congratulate you on four decades there you go giving because this is something that people need to hear right so let's just jump right in thinking of taking off from before then to city and i want to talk about social societal pressures versus authenticity give me a list talk a little bit about that so here's what happens dr joy we're born into this world and immediately mother father teacher preacher takes over yeah so if you stop and think about that what i want the audience to think about is that when do we literally become our authentic selves basically we are a byproduct of this caregiver who told us how to think how to live what's right what's wrong and as a result most people have to resurface at some point in their life you know what about the outside noise outside noise is everything and we're living in the society today two thousand and sixteen where every second between our mobile devices we are being told how to live what's important what is success chase it go after it be course who you are is what you have fools who and the more i have them war i and i want people to think about th i don't like your dress dr joye i don't like your shirt dr bird and it's like well if we let that penetrate us that is going to cause some emotional disturbance we call it stress and we call that stre because we're trying to please everybody right so validation from others judgment of others is greater than our own self esteem why is that well from everything i've ever read dr joy and i'm on my pretty much my forty fourth year of still being a student because ladies and gentlemen i have not arrived either i'm just like everybody else but the challenges is that from everything i've learned and was taught is that our judgment of ourselves is based upon the words of others and that's a horrific place and i don't like that not a good one of all so therefore my interest is to try to develop and for all of us to try to develop will the real real that is the authentic chuck berg please stay and up yeah and those aren't just words because dr joyce we stop and think about it what we are doing is living out other people's expectations for many of us until we and i use the word resurface we wind up trying to live out what other people want what society tells us to do and i call them or i say that the question to everybody is are they the right for you goals or are you living out society's expectations or and staying in your lane is you live in out your own goals range now let's talk about that goals success  people will look at you and judd's you today the way you are and he's a handsome guy dressed well he's a successful guy but if they were to see you dated and that you when we were drippin sweaty make think that you're a successful guy but let's just say yours is running to go get the newspaper and you know you don't have a starbucks can write you just run it when they say the same is it you know we still think on validation of one successes and i say and you may agree sis success is individually defined absolutely i in life what you drive where you live the kind of clothes the name of the person who's on the name of that garment but alternately i think when you arrive or get close to this awareness is it doesn't matter what other people think of you as the expression goes what other people think of me is none of my and business so it's a cliche of it but it's important for our listeners as we're having our dialogue and discussion folks based upon your core values so one of the things that i try to support my patients with is to really take a look at what your value systems are that's true if in fact you think success is all about the what i have then you're going to be on this chase oh and the problem with the chase and remember i'm a health care practitioner the chase gets you very frustrated yes because every time you arrive at this level it takes a something out there something else i want to i want to i want the viewers to see a diagram which is called a success iceberg and you we talked about it so take a look at the success iceberg and what you will see is that yeah you see the iceberg and it says success but underneath the water all of the things that a person has done to actually get to that point but you do someone on the street looking at someone else doesn't know what that person has done to reach their heights or their accomplishments so again it's almost like they're chasing a you know something in vapor space and we use the that same kind of analogy right a iceberg when it comes to health because all we see is one seven so the average iceberg an interesting fact and seven of an iceberg is what peaks out from above the water  titanic remember amro yes so as a result what we really have to understand is we want to look in our health care game at the root cause and that's something that you can't necessarily see so that's another whole subject for having that's a whole nother thing so we have six cents right but you know a lot of people define success by what you have but it always boils down to i mean if we were just to throw everything in all of the tangible items in it boils down to finances right because you need to finance the finances to get those things so your finances and your financial state of mind king cause stress let's talk about that well your financial state of mind i think the important thing there is to back up and go back to values ok here's an interesting thing for iraqi people you go on you tube everybody has access to the compiler and just last week listen to a fascinating ted talk and what they stated a seventy five year study about success ok when we talk to young people and we call them today the millennial twenty's to thirty's and when we were twent thirty's what was the important thing in your life i want to be rich because this is what they say that i want to be rich i want to make a lot of money and i want to be famous yet you stop and think about this these are all ego based desires right so what happens is as we go through our game of life what most people find and this is what the study showed harvard directed seventy five year longest study when i eventually success is about the quality of your relationships exactly so this is nothing to do with what we're talking about but it's important because if you're on the chase and you're getting stressed out and you feel that you're not where you're supposed to be honoring and accepting where we are and more importantly rather than what are we getting right it should be about what else are we giving at the end of life yet this is what is most important to human beings yes but we're stuck in society's roles chasing killing ourselves and winding up sick as a result well that's because of the the person next door and we want to be like sound but you know what i want you to share your thoughts on steps on how to achieve one's authentic self well authenticity to me is what the best word that i can describe it dr joy is what i call can grow and in other words when you look at somebody and are they walking their talk are they consistent with the that they say with their physical actions that they do an authentic human being is somebody who understands what their core values are they're living out their desires not what society is telling them to do right and it takes a while to really identify your own level of authentic life that isn't me let me just chime in we're the folks that have the come grow in that on the path towards living achieving an authentic life or living in not then take life style kind of call that concept they are most happy well thank you and the next point is is that that whole happy and i'll tell you later yeah the happiness game is right on thing where you are an authentic human being you are can grow into a new world because here's the ultimate thing dr joy it don't matter whether i think that i am successful or not when people go to bed at night  the only space they have is the space between your ears right no more voices coming in right and that's after that time you'll know whether you're living out your authentic world it doesn't have to be proved to the rest of  make that paradigm shift from thinking in inward to outward remember you ask ok i should let the question stick go ahead and say that and then i have a comment on the common is you asked me you said so connecting with credible guess like dr bernard to bring information to you right so it will you know force positive impacts significance in your life positive impact increase significantly in your lives yes do i get something out of it yes but i'm not thinking about am i haven't adopted to a show for dr joy nena it's about the viewers but that's  your you arrived at that at some point where you realize what the greatest joy that i have in my life is my ability to support and help people right so sometimes i think every one of us because we're human we're going to go through this challenge any move of identifying the once again what is the game all about and in the world where we're taught about me me me right there is a resurfacing a transition a change and often times dr joy it comes through something called problems and that's when we have to look at obstacles that end our lives when i think that they are true magic right at the moment they are right but in the rear view mirror of life we can see clearly wow look how that event led to and what i thought was a horrific event in my life its expression is it broke me open yet it allowed me to realize the fraudulent illusions that i was having in my life and it brought me to this new dynamic so that's a transition one word for that growth thank you but we have to be able to embrace it right we have to be able to embrace it and we have to and if we embrace it personality will change and then maybe our character might go through something i don't know what's the difference between character and personality so i like that well here here's my take on this each of us each of us no matter how authentic you are you have a character in your personality yeah personality is your button i push the button because i'm on dr joy show i have to show up  tic amiable friendly compassionate support a fence and i full of energy people have a character which is their essence their true essence right so here's my statement if you are a truly authentic human being your personality and your character on very very even those of us whose personality is all over the place you know what who is dr joy when she comes home with her children and with her spouse issue that same individual who is this loving support who is chuck burke at work versus elsewhere and i would like to think that whatever knows me will say you know what mr consistent i want to be there i've worked at that because i don't deserve and the people around me don't deserve to have anything but the best of me and hopefully the most authentic and less we're not feeling well then that's a little of this is i can be cranky when i'm not feeling well let's move on to hanging out with people we're here's the thing small people talk about other people and you know big people hang out with ideas so one of the reasons that i think books because us how do we change how do we transition yeah right how do we get to this new level of thinking well guess what you better hang out with some people who've got some creative interesting ways about them rather than with the masses who was all about water cooler talk oh  you know it's a sad set of circumstances but if we want to transition we've got to expose ourselves to wonderful books technology allows us to go to you tube we can listen to the ways of some of those people those other authors and speakers yes because if we just hang around you will become ladies and gentleman like the five where you hang out with the people you hang out with yeah that's something to spend little time with that doesn't mean they're good or bad people but if we want to grow i want to be interesting insightful and the word can grow in human beings who can help me grow to see life differently who can challenge my beliefs and to help me see through the illusions that i'm looking at it like that and i totally agree with you but why you're meeting those people and some of those people want to form a relationship with you now you have to figure out if you're going to be vulnerable to them so here's my answer to that yet found that you and i we have an antenna that you can see but what happens is and every one of you out there has exactly the same intent yes in a nanosecond you're going to be attracted or you're going to be repelled maybe sometimes it's not that fast but we have this amazing nervous system dr joye that can really get a sense of what is going on around kirlian photography told us that we have this electromagnetic thing all the thing things  yeah right or just the opposite haven't i see it all please listen to your inner and that's what we refer to is that inner core stop thinking about other people and what they say and what they think it's about you making your decisions in the book we talk about being the director we talk about being the spielberg all live yet you as a director you other producer no one's there with a gun to your head so pay attention and stay conscious especially to your own inner thoughts but if you do that now when you do that you're growing but then some of the people that you were around before might not be on the same girl pattern of growth as you and you wind up leaving them let's go let god that's what they say it's not your responsibility to have them attract and work with you this is a natural protocol it is a natural progress in life most of us don't have all the people we hung with when we were twenty years of age know if you're lucky to have one that bonds because your values a terrific that's wonderful but the essence of human beings is growth and change just like the earth the pala political roles and everything else and don't you think that outside there are people out there that it's just not happy deep down in it's because they are they don't have emotional freedom they're not able to be there or excel because they're worried about getting validation because they're chasing things that other people deem to be success but how again and then it seems wait because i was going into a question and i have come back seat as well as when you think to farrah i think you said this before if people use their circumstances however good or not good it is and internalize it embrace it because we all go through stuff  there'll be a better person they will however what i would hope that from a show like what you're offering to these people yeah that individuals can recognize as the first few steps because you ask me how do you do this right first step is the power of int ection most of you most of us no different we're so busy being busy that we never allow ourselves to say please open me up and meaning i'm now underneath a microscope take and then using myself to look at the how i operate what is my interactions what are myself talking words what is my relationship am i a giver do i show up with the need to understand or the need for first being understood there are so many ways but it's a lot of work and it is it was taught to me you've got to work harder on yourself dr joy than you ever work on your job how many of you are willing to put that time and effort into it and what i'm saying is most people don't so what they'd rather do is grab a drug twenty five percent where they say one out of four people in manhattan are on medication for anti depression or anti anxiety that's huge numbers yet as we are at the end and they we've got to go for a drink or two or three and it's really everybody is trying to get rid of their state and our job is to work to a state of relative happiness right and happiness is not a place you get to know the vibration of vibration it's a vibration it goes up and they go down so don't ever please find that oh he's happy she's happy all you're seeing is a momentary click that kind of that human being like that facebook yes very unfair to do that see the social media new voice see all of these things all of these things oh people are so it's right and so happy but you really don't know them because you don't that's just yes it's three seconds that's what they are so and vice on how to approach the future with me god so i thought because you said self talk so sorry i labrat on that yes so self talk is something that by the way you can stop you know people call your internal chatted or my mind i am sure to shut it off but what i've learned is that each of us has to learn  the expression to live in the now most of us are either fearful of the future and we're feeling frustrated with the past and as a result we spend time either in our history or in our future to getting to live in the now so i'm going to say that we've all heard the word gratitude you have to work every day at awakening and setting up a strategy it's called living with an intention yes today dr joy i am here to be of service to my people i'm a doctor of car a practical holistic health counselor i want to show up as the best me i want to support people and help them to stay mindful of their living in this moment is right only time we have right it is a waste to go out into the future because we have no idea what's going to happen in five minutes that's granted but knowing that doesn't mean that we don't go there so most of us will spend our time but until we hear a discussion about this maybe each and every one of you can now learn to stay mindful to write down every single day if you came to my house you would find it dishes and editions of written words because every morning at five o'clock my ritual is to write out sit there with a cup of coffee just writing what my heart is sharing that me what my intention is on and i've changed even with regards to goals it's wonderful to establish goals for yourself right but we also know that with all of the good intentions life shows up and things change they change and you have to be like them be in the be flexible but i like the fact that you said daily because i also the power of gratitude and actually writing it down will change your life remarkably if you do it on a consistent basis for thinking yes and i and i do that every day i'm up to two thousand seven hundred and thirteen injuries because someone you know a life coach that i respect suggested that i do that and i saw change i did it for twenty eight days straight so that became a habit but then i kept going but i saw the shift a positive shift in my life by just being grateful even when things were not that  right very well you know what you are you bring up a great point and what i share with everybody when they say chuck what your goals would you ask me that many years ago it would have been the you know the house the new car there when ike whatever now my biggest goal is to become a spiritual anybody else and there's going to be highs and lows and everything else right but can i stay in a state of a group of appreciation of gratitude of love and support and nurturing and sending out to that antenna those kind of human vibrations daily no matter what's going on and to me that is success and that i want on that thing towards i love that you know and i and i wish to much much success on your journey thank you yes i think that's i think that available in audioslave of people are not readers but they want to listen with their little gadgets and gadgets they can do so and the book is wonderful many people for me this is my gift to humanity because it's my legacy and i always i wrote in dr joy if even just my two kids could embrace this and start living it but i was taught to be the model not the critic i don't want to lecture anybody in my office we don't lecture all we do is to try to help them to see through the illusions of their lives and respect and revere your body we're given this very short period of time to rent space on this amazing planet be the giver be the support or love and give yourself the gratitude and remind yourself that it's very short that sir and take care of yourself good choices good rituals good habits set for a soft of or thank you thank you thank you again this  joyce show and what i'm going to say to you is that self talk that internal dialogue should always be positive wake up every morning set an intention today is going to be a good day and watch