solutions group and host of the show and i am joined here today by my good friend and business associate christina d'oliveira coach entrepreneur and author of the joy of losing your job so this is going to be a two part segment which i'm really excited about and we're going to be talking about this book and really what has evolved since writing this book and being on this journey so welcome chris do you not think you tara so happy to be here finally yeah right now exactly we've been planning the shows for a while so let's dive in ok let's talk about i mean this book has gotten so much attention the cover and the title alone inspires people encourages people tell me a little bit about the journey what started it and and well the book itself so yeah that the title is the joy of losing your job but there is a subtitle which is the hope beyond blood sweat and tears and the whole initiative or the intention behind the book was to spread hope and encouragement and inspiration and motivation and empowerment to th masses of individuals who are losing their jobs every single day and are suddenly finding themselves at a point in their lives where they have to basically to start over many of these people are people who've had long term careers with one employer they think that oh my goodness what weird why go now with what i do now this is all i've done all my life it's all i know how to do what weird wh i begin and you know it's a frightening yes very very frightening time and we've both been in corporate america absolutely yeah you know so many friends and colleagues that i know that are in their fifty's and the urbanization gets restructured and you get notice that yeah that's yeah that's what happened redefining your job does not exist right you more and you know as you said and so many people who have been in one life they've just lost their job which by the way is comparable to from a soko psychological standpoint it's actually comparable to losing a loved one it really is it's right up there with losing a loved one and it's actually the third leading cause of suicide in our country so it's it's major grantly part of our identity part of our danity who we are you know what how we show up to the world how what we contribute to the world to our families that's huge right and so to add to the stress of losing the job then very often you're you know you're you're you're you meet people you meet people and they ask you what you do when you say well you know i just lost my job i'm in transition and what are you met with oh my god i'm so sorry and my cousin lost their job five years ago they still haven't been able to find a job or my husband lost a job he was unemployed for three years and he has an m b a a ph d you know so rather than being like you know what you're going to be fine you're going to me this is an opportunity no moment more than likely you're being met with stories of additional discouragement right and fear and oh my god doom and gloom that happened to me so i was with the same employer since i was nineteen years old twenty four years i w was with this one employer it was the job that i dreamed of having when i was fifteen years old as soon as i said graduated college i got this job and i couldn't be happier i made a career there  it was a progressive career i really enjoyed growing and learning in that company but it lasted twenty four years now into the twenty four years after many many many many changes which i survived many of them but after twenty four years it was my turn and and so what happened was you know i i experienced the same type of thing where i gave myself a little time to mourn the loss a little bit to process what had just happened to me but then i started getting back out in the world and i started going to networking events or started connecting with people and i was greeted with all of these doom and gloom type stories and i would go home thinking what the heck like no way i said no way a c so i'm generally a very positive person so i started thinking to myself there is absolutely no way that i have worked this hard my entire life i have sacrificed this much my entire life for my story to end here right and i bet that there are stories out there of people who have god deliberately closes doors absolutely and that we can see the bigger better opportunity in as you're saying these words i'm getting chills all down my body which is firm affirmation validation of that right  exactly so i set out i started reaching out on social media hey if you've ever lost a job and you thought it was the end of the world but somehow you turned your situation around and you have an inspirational story you'd like to share with those of us that may be struggling out there please reach out to me what i can't even begin to tell you the flood of e mails i started to receive so i started collecting the stories reading all of them let me courage it was all for me then there was just my proof and my validation i'm going to have one of these stories and this story is mine one day you know but that aside i said you know what why aren't these stories being shared with everyone there's so many people see i wasn't really that worried because again i had that positive mentality like this is not how my story ends the i don't i don't have all  figured out yet i don't exactly know where i'm going to go what i'm going to do but i know i'm not going to stop here i know this is the beginning of something big and something new for me so i always kind of had that in the back of my mind but there are people out there that aren't don't think that way for whatever reason they are flooded by limiting beliefs and and just the notion that but i don't know you know i don't know if i could do anything else they question they have fear fear of  don't deserve more that's right and then those types of thoughts you know faster and you can't see the hole or you can't see beyond and you can't and there are so many people who just can't get past that point so i said no i need to share these stories and i started looking out in the book market you know looking for you know book a book like this that i would have so i i went right to chicken soup for the soul for example chicken soup for the soul has a chicken soup for the soul for every life circumstance yes except for job loss so i said well i guess i have to create my own chicken soup for the soul my own version of it and so i did with with this book so what this book really is is seventeen incredibly powerful personal first person accounts of individuals who lost their jobs all over the country and actually all over the world one was actually from the u one of the stories so people who really struggled went through those difficult times were really hard rock bottom right you know some people were on the verge of foreclosure for closure on their homes some people were dealing with sick family members illnesses in the so there was a variety of things that people dealt with so they really were hit rock bottom but somehow these individuals found the way somehow some way they found a way to redefine their circumstances and change everything about their lives and they all ended up in a place where they're happier or more fulfilled than they were before they lost their job every single person in this book ends their story with in retrospect losing my job was the greatest thing that ever happened to me  needed to get those stories out there because i wanted people to believe that this could be them because you know what why should it only happen in me or why should it only happen to these individuals you know what we're not exclusive in any way we're all we all have the opportunity to make something different of our circumstances where not defined by our circumstances so this is an opportunity for us to really figure things out and and change and what's next and do it what's better exactly so share with me maybe one or two of the most powerful stories let me think gosh they're they're all so great and they're  different right there's they're different like i i had one woman who was at a point in her life where she had lost this job she thought it was the end of the world book but shortly after she  recognized that she you know she was she was unemployed for and she was going through a difficult time she recognized that she had everything she needed right now in that moment and it allowed her to come to terms with you know what why do i at this stage of my life really need to go back to work shortly after that's what i was going to say shortly after her employment she found out her daughter was pregnant first daughter first grandchild her unemployment allowed her to be there for her daughter and experience the process with her and then care for her new brand new baby grandchild you know shortly after you know around the time of the birth and all shill out her to do that she said had i been working in that job that i was working at i would not have been able to do that in the meantime while the daughter was pregnant and they were waiting for this beautiful baby to come into this earth she started doing yoga and meditation and let me tell you some she loves yoga she signed up to become a certified yoga instructor and guess what she's doing for a living now she's a part time yoga instructor doing something she's absolutely passionate and loves and gives her peace from the inside out and she's able to be there for her daughter and her grandchild so ok that's just one story but there are so many others i have this one guy who they were just they were still a young family starting out they had a toddler the mother the wife was a stay at home mom they had another child on the way and  he lost his job now he was a sole supporter for this family and he needed the benefits wife's pregnant she's got a child what am i going to do well he found himself a mentor and he started working with this mentor he started redefining his his values and his interests and his strengths and really get clear on what made him happy what made him click long story short this man is now has for  over i think it's a twenty year company a twenty years he's had a he has a multi million dollar consulting firm he's hugely successful all over the world he's written  of books he's a leadership author and speaker is truly an inspiration this is just a person like you and me he was an h r manager you know at a regular company with the wife at home to care you know one on the way and yet now look what he's doing and how he has changed so many lives and company as a result of the work that he's doing so i have everything from people who went back into business or started businesses for themselves and became successful to people who ended up going back to corporate but they went back to corporate on their terms they defined for themselves the type of job they wanted what made them  happy happy truly fulfilled in and what gave them a sense of purpose and mission and so when they went on these new interviews it wasn't as if they were being interviewed by the company the company was they they were the ones interviewing the company are you a fit for me right yeah what i'm defining from what are my defining for my life you know how do you fix my hour for you fit my standards ok and that's why yeah they might be working for corporate but it's a whole different ballgame and they're much more fulfilled and they they have a sense of purpose and contribution and mission and it's just it's fabulous because they had that time r you know of time to really reassess where i want to be in life what i'm passionate about what's my purpose what's my destiny right you know asking those questions alone sometimes seems beg you know but the answers come to us in little pieces sometimes we want the whole ball of wax but they come in little braces and little opportunities and people coming into our life that glee and i'm sure the people that met you realized what a gift you were and the gift this was to participate in well you know what i think the stories that are in the book because i think you know that those stories came through me you know through the book you know and i and i hope and i know that it is making huge i get you know and an enormous number of e mails and and messages almost on a you know weekly basis from people who said oh my god i read this book it was exactly what i needed it's changed my life i have had people write to me and say because of this book i enrolled in coaching school i want to become a certified code so that i can help people and empower people to live their their true self you know i've had people say because of this book you know i am going back to school for something else like a completely different thing that i've been thinking about it all my life been putting it off but now i'm just going to do it because i know this is what i'm passionate about you know it's really inspirational but it's the stories in the book you know it's really it's less about me it's really about all of that you know but you took your circumstances yeah why did this avenue you know you know for people and look at their journeys be brave it look at what's happened in their life you know you did it out of a greater good and i'm going to bring you back to that zig ziglar quote right i can have everything in life you want as long as you help enough other people to get everything their life and so kind of pivotal i feel like to this whole mission well it totally is because when ice first started on this journey when this concept this idea came into my mind i was reading i guess i was reading i was listening to some zig ziglar audiotapes  you know audio books and i was reading and that and that quote came up and when i when i heard that quote to rewind play it again we want to play it again i felt that that i heard that particular quote at that particular moment for a purpose i felt that it was being directed at me and it was sending me a message and in fact that i hadn't mentioned this but you know earlier but you know i know you know this tara but just three months to the day that i lost my job three months prior to the day that i lost my job i lost my brother he was my baby brother he's my only sibling i lost him to cancer and  so i really have felt almost divinely guided by him i think my brother knew ok this is going to sound a little woo woo for some people but this is how i feel ok i really felt that my brother knew instinctively because we i feel like we share the same soul like i think he knew that i wasn't necessarily happy but certainly not fulfilling my potential in my purpose doing what i was doing for as long as i was doing it he knew i knew it he knew it too and i think having lost the job precisely three months later on the same day that he passed away was my message that it was my push from him to say get out there and go do it because this is your time so from that point forward when things like this happen i felt that they were being sent to me these were all messages that were so slick guiding me and directing me so i was very moved by that and i said yes that's it you know that's all i why i don't want to do anything else and i don't want anything else if i can't help other people get to where they need to be that was really i just felt very strong about that you know i really it just really  with me yeah yeah and in one of my family then you know as as the domino effect here all these people are right there and now their goal they're bringing their gifts out to help other people absolutely and that's exactly and they are continues it's so so so this book i know again was a labor of love was divinely directed and tell me about the proceeds also with this after my brother passed away i knew i needed to do something to honor his memory so it occurred to me that my brother was a high school teacher he has an educator in the newark school system and i was you know people that made a profound difference while he was right he was my true role model mentor inspiration i actually didn't know where as much until the day of his wake when he passed away and we had his well because he was with his school we had scheduled i don't know forty eight or something for his wake and the cool actually called this that morning and asked us if there was any chance we could extend the wait by an extra two hours for a closed viewing just for people from the school we thought well ok guess guess so right so we actually started at two o'clock for a closed viewing there were two bus loads of people anybody who wanted to come to his wake met at the school and they loaded up two buses school buses and brought them over to the funeral home and the line was literally out the door and we're talking everyone from faculty to former alumni to his current students and it was the sweetest thing because as they were piling in they had post posters made up for him they had pictures they had letters they had messages and they would tape it on the wall so as they were walking in they were taping all of this stuff on the walls thinking ok well that's really sweet very nice but the real impact was as they were coming around to greet my mom my parents and i and they started sharing stories with us about how especially the alumni they said i would not have the life that i have i would not be the person that i am had it not been for coach they refer to me as coach because he was not only a an educator he was also a high school girls volleyball coach the lives that he changed the impact that he left are still you know people are still benefiting from that today and then not only that but those kids are now having kids of their own so guess who's benefiting i mean it's a multi generational impact that he left here on this earth one of the ways that he helped a lot of these kids was encouraging them to continue their education beyond high school and so he would work with them tired list slee for no extra pay he would leave no stone unturned to find scholarship money to help these kids go to college so for course when it came down to thinking how am i going to honor my brother's memory one of the ways that i thought to do that is i got to give a scholarship it's got to be a scholarship foundation right so it started with that it's a scholarship foundation in fact the very first young man to receive a scholarship in my brother's memory graduated r so anyway so then i decided when i wrote the book because my intention for the book what did you say it was it was heart lead or something you said it came from like my intention was to help people yeah right yeah my intention truly was it was for the greater good that was my intention what how would i prove that other than to say that look i'm not earning a cent from this book i'm not my goal here is not to make any money off of this book it was never my goal it was never my intention my only intention was to help you and you and you so i decided what what what will i do with the proceeds from the sale of the book well it only made sense i'm going to donate it to david's gift so one hundred percent of the proceeds from the sale of this book goes to david's gift and it helps some young person go get started on their living their dream  continuing their education and where did you were you first introduced that david's gift yeah we first introduced that at eastside high school because that's where in a york new jersey and that's where he taught and so we actually had a really great alumni volleyball match we had a couple of volleyball matches where we had his former student his former players play against each other and it was really actually kind of cool we had the girls against the boys and it was wonderful to see how they just picked up where they left off years and years ago and and it was really interesting because even after the first match it was the girls on girls because it was girls volleyball that he  did but but but there were some guys in the in the you know at the game you know and they all came up to me afterwards you know we knew your brother too we were with we want to play to you he was our coach to see because he before he was a girls volleyball coach he was a wrestling coach for boys boys wrestling and that was his sport that was my brother's sport that was he was captain of wrestling in high school in college and that was the sport he loved but after he  diagnosis with a brain tumor doctor said no more wrestling here and the only other sport that they had available for him to coach at the school at that time was girls volleyball so he did that but the boys came up and we can we he coached us too and you know he made an impact in our lives too so i ended up scheduling yet another volleyball match of the guys against the girls but it was great because since he came my brother actually coached the girls and the girls were outstanding these are girls that did this this is a team that went to state and national championships like almost every single out of years men right exactly that's what he did to them yeah they didn't even have a volleyball team when my brother got started and my brother didn't even know the first thing about volleyball when he first got started but he was self taught and he spent countless i mean like when i tell you he would stay up nights like nights he would sleep to watch videos in videos in i say what the heck are you doing know and he had a vision and he had a determination when i take this and i back in who david was yeah all of these pieces it's like own and i think about dream big academy which we're going to talk about in our next segment it connects the dots you know and where you started this in a place where sometimes in the inner cities kids don't have the vision they don't own passion they don't even know what they're looking towards how could they people lose their job right is the biggest obstacle to hope they very see it they can see it right so all these things connect back to the hope you know and encouragemen and how we help people see their purpose and be the best they can be very exact so so in our next segment we are going to talk about dream big cademy and where we've gone kind of full circle with this entire thing in the meantime tell people how they can reach you well i guess the the best way the easiest way to reach me is through i have actually two two web sites so they can you can reach me through simply christina and that's simply hyphen christina dot com or performance continuum dot com and then there's also if you want to learn more about david's gift there's david's hyphen gift dot org so you can reach out to me that way and i'm really excited to his book and when i'm on facebook i'm on instagram are on linked in and i'm really excited to announce that coming soon to a city near you i'm actually going to be scheduling meet ups on the joy of losing your job hey i'm getting putting putting groups and classes together to help people discover what their purposes here and what their next step is beyond john laws and it won't include resume writing a promise oh excellent