help other people you know i'm very fortunate to have traveled to many places around the world and worked at several universities i've worked at six different universities here i've been for twenty years now so in my travels i've met fascinating people that i've learned so much from every one of them and one of the things that is very important that i've learned is that it doesn't matter who you are and that presidents i've met people that surround yourself with people that believe in you and you believe in them and then collectively are so much more powerful you could grow some so much more and we're constantly influencing people as well in our lives and if you think about our lives in terms of who made a difference in your life and who believed in you others perhaps believe in you more than you believe in yourself you know what i think i talk about our in our workshop is i asked my students for the audience i said think of think of someone who in your life perhaps thought of something that you did that was special that believed in you that saw a quality more so than you saw in yourself along the way and you know every person that i've spoken to almost everyone not everyone has come up with the other somebody you know whether it's a mother a father or uncle a teacher a professor appear that i just had a conversation actually this weekend with someone and i pose the same question and the one girl was with her friend and she said well she's the one that believed in me so i think those are important things to recognize the power you have of believing in others and surround yourself with people that believe  was healthy and i was feeling great but my genetics unfortunately were not the best even i was doing things so i was fortunate to have had a great doctor and they caught it before things got worse and out of that experience i started revaluing you know when you're really down when you're really low when things aren't going well you start thinking about what's important in your life because we're constantly trying to motivate ourselves to do better in our career at home with our families of course so i took a step back and i started really appreciating what i had because it was a time that i had of recovery a slow recovery and i started looking around and saying you know what i have so much to be grateful for and then the grateful thing is the people in my life and everyone in my life and everyone in my life is important and what happened was as i move along and i try this into the workshop by one of the things i ask everyone is i asked a question i say what is the most important moment your life and there's so many different answers like it i guess a gentleman once and he gave me five minutes worth of beautiful experiences he has his life and inevitably that they ask me my most important moment in my life and i look in the eyes and i say this moment this moment right here right now with you in this place is the most remote port moment in my life and when i discover that for me this moment became so much richer does it make sense if you don't like the sound of it gently hear some sounds the lights reflecting the richness of the colors everything became so much more richer for me  and one point eventually and not to be morbid please understand but even though at one point in this will be the last moment in our life and i want to make sure that my last moment of my life is going to be a great moment and when i started thinking coach and i teach vision i teach players to see to scan to take in as much as information as possible and the more you see obviously you're able to make great decisions so i came up with this initially for soccer but as we were applying it to soccer realise this is a life these are life skills so the five pieces are perceive process plan perform and persist perceive process plan perform and persist so perception is the most important thing the wider the brighter your perception is your ability to process so much information is much greater to make a plan execute it and the persistence is the habit so when things become a habit they become automatic that automatic habit loop she did the happy brings you back to the first piece which is perception so as you apply this in your life we met george we met john over here before he came in and george and john are helping us and helping you make this event happen there and they're behind the camera for nobody knows and they know their name but they're an integral part of what we do and as you ply those five p's into your life you recognize your so much street with tunnel vision right you pull it away right and helps you find your purpose you know what is your purpose and what's in the what's our purpose in life that's always the question people ask you are trying to find what your purpose discovery is well to find your purpose pull the blinders away take time to talk the limits that ok so want to do so little great great great so habits habits are are the things that we do it automatically naturally right so and we could change our habits you know we have the power in the ability to change the way we think if we have the power to influence our mind and her and our attitudes you have a choice one of things i talk about with my team is you have two choices you either bring energy or you're taking energy away storage and all types it c highest levels every olympic athlete practice is visualization you know visualization is seen yourself be successful you know visualization that it just see being successful every athlete practices that in fact in some sports a practice mental training visualization more than actual physical training and what happens is that when you see yourself and magine it it becomes you become that person so the more you do that the more you apply visualization and the practice of doing not just thinking about it but applying it in your daily life in to deal with things that you're doing you start becoming that person you know i love that look you walk around the youths a lot so you can understand the walk around just people and how we had a great question so a couple things one is that it's important for youth to have discipline in our life and to establish discipline or a life because we have so many riches of things that take our about what do i want to become and having a plan of action so what's that plan of action one of the things i will talk about is when you're engaged and in appreciating what you're doing then you're able to start growing and taking chances and not being afraid to take risks so one of things i talk about in the workshops in my class also is the grateful list is about being happy oftentimes or kids are and we talked about earlier off camera when you're in an africa and the kids are not happy but they're wearing all these expensive sneakers and gear and stuff like that is they think that is what's going to bring them satisfaction or on facebook or on twitter  instagram you know lakes and all this other stuff that i don't have enough of that's i'm trying to become somebody that i that not that i'm not well you know what you have this greatness with in you we all have this greatness within us and that we have to circle back and think about what those things are just like i share the story with me at the beginning what happened with me but it doesn't have to be traumatic to have a you know heart disease like i did so what we talk about and i practice in my and with my students that we keep a grateful ist so every morning for example and i have students in my class they have to do this for their assignment they have to write three things that they're most grateful for that happened to them that before every single morning in a journal and then three goals for the day girl measurable goals with an accomplished so to break down so instead of trying to you know i want to i want to be this or that which seems insurmountable oftentimes for us is to break it down to the small measurable goals and what happens is so every morning immediately they think about the activity what happened the day before they get also you can do this in night is also an evening activity could do but i prefer to have them do in the morning i do it in the morning so that it starts my day off on the right so so three things you're grateful for you know and for me or my example so it was when i woke up there this morning i was grateful for the so the very first thing i do when i wake up every morning is i'm i'm a spiritual person so i thank god for being alive another day on this planet and your spiritual thank your god for thank the earth the god of the earth right immediately and i look at my phone and look at messages right away and then i think about the three things i'm most grateful for so this morning it was going to the doctor and helping with my back grateful that i have a doctor someone that could take care of it all right the second thing that i was grateful for was a friend had reached out to me and saw how was doing and she was a very important part of my life went when i was struggling at one point so she reached out i'm grateful to have that friend and the third thing is very simple was it was a meal that i eat for myself last night the simple part of a meal and how delicious it was so when i woke up in the morning right away i'm joyous right  happy and then my three got so i three goes for today where to be powerful to be persuasive to be honest to be authentic today with you and your audience and i'm i'm going to do that i know you're doing the read visualize that you know that i visualize that i'm going make a difference with one person at least out there today and then and then it was i'm going to be on time i want to make sure i'm early so this is the first time i've been in this place you are right and the third thing is who can i sheath that helps us do things that become automatic same way with what you put in your brain what you put in your head you put good things then they stick you put good ideas and good things  stick you put bad ideas in their head that you don't trust yourself trust other people you doubt they stick so a very important part in terms of how to help young people move forward is to put good things in their head and work at those good things not just good things that are going to stay there but good things that they want to do with their life good things that they appreciate  i have i have a cousin who was is a close friend he's basically like my brother and george's name in it and he lives locally here as well and what i used to do the workshops and integrity was in there it was in the middle he said to me i think  i think you should put it as the first thing and i said well it's very important and i think it's more support and this is about three years ago and as i go through more workshops and talk to people and live my life i realize integrity is so critical i love the saying if you have integrity nothing else matters if you don't have integrity nothing else matters in else matters so how does it fit into a wife we are constantly modeling for people you and i right now are modeling for an audience i don't know how many people one two five ten i don't it but we are modeling our behavior is modeling for the people we don't have to be in this form to model every day we're modeling remodeling for our spouses we're battling for our children our coworkers our friends all the time modeling means that people copy your behavior up to ninety two percent of all communication is  facebook you might not remember your coach when i was fourteen years old eric this was over thirty years ago and i remember him i remember it he said i just want to let you know you told me something when i was fourteen years old that stuck with me i had played well and again but you took me aside and you said you know something joseph you could do much better and the way you deliver that i remember that and i've used that same messages messaging with the players that i coach with my own children and with the people i manage in my company and they're so this was thirty years ago i don't remember  pramod how can you make the ward and uplift sure little things little things i'll give you a topical example about twenty minutes ago i walking here and the beautiful campus of princeton university is right here around the corner and i was i was walking along students are crisscrossing and i look up ahead and there's an apple there's a half eaten apple on the sidewalk twenty yards ahead of me and a group of students are walking past and young man kicks the apple out of his way and they  walk past so i leaned over and i picked up the apple and it was a trash can about ten yards away and i threw it away why did i do that i mean i don't work for princeton university i don't work for the sanitation department elevator it's the top floor and there are two apartments on each floor and it's a small narrow hallway and inevitably when i come home from work there are packages that people order that when they get home they're going to carry upstairs so i've lived there for two years now so first time on their right i see a package i pick it up says apartment two a i bring and i leave the apartment your way and i walk upstairs i do this all the time now i don't know any of the people that live in those apartments and i didn't even look you up don't they don't even know that i'm doing it ok they don't even know who i am i've said hi hello to people but they have no idea you know what started happening the sudden i don't get a lot of packages but i came home one day you know what happened at the top for those of packets outside my door so someone figured it out know how and decided to do the same in ukraine i meant to you we were doing a workshop in ukraine last year and the president the soccer club after i did the workshop for the high school students and i touch this in the workshop the next day we're going to the soccer field walking along and he is picking up real or are you really not really i think all authentic is a best descriptor because oftentimes we're not sure how are people reacting to us you know the leadership we talk about is being transform ational or transaction leadership there's enough workshops on how to do that at a make money or transact and to make it better for me or maybe make it better for both of us that's a transaction you do something for me i do something for you transformational is give more take less give more take less so you know that's a that's a piece i believe that's what we need more of we need more of do you believe that everybody has sold into gave absolutely absolutely it's your desire to want to get it's your desire want to get and the big part is being grateful being grateful we have a coach roy a softball coach was a who is a legend our universe and he's a phenomenal speaker share this about belief leaving yourself and believing what you're doing so many was walking along the ocean in the south pacific and it was scored scorch it was so hot his feet were burning underneath him in the at the wade into the water and cooled off his feet is walking along he looks over he sees all these starfish that are washed ashore in the ocean drying up any keeps on walking as it walking looks up ahead and he sees a guy who's taking one starfish at a time and throwing him back in the water as he gets closer e essex's what are you what are you doing and the man looks and says i'm saving the starfish it'll pass this is really crazy if you're not going to make a difference there's thousands of starfish drying they're dying with that the man leans over and except one starfish and it weighs into the water and he reaches back and would always mighty tosses a starforce as far as he can and watches it disappears in the ocean and then he turns and says i just made a difference with that in or you have to do is make a difference with one after you leave it well we are coming to the end of the show yours what would that be if you've if you're looking to find your purpose and looking to move forward in your life and finding ways to do that write down the things that you want to be write down things put down a list of the things that you want to be in your life that are important to you that you like to achieve right down the things that you're grat grateful for the gratitude that you have what are all the things that you're grateful for look at those two list and you are starting tonight or tomorrow morning start thinking about each of those to list and start moving toward your goal we've come to the end of the show and i want to thank you t j also my viewers i appreciate the time you spend you