important for you to like you know just introduce yourself again i fell so that people can get to know more about well well i am a licensed clinical social worker and for twenty five years have worked in hospital treatment settings helping people learn how to get well and stay well and giving people the tools because i honestly believe we all have wellness inside us but you have to have the tools in order to reach it and so being here today was moving work beyond the walls of a hospital and that's what led to my how well would you take care of it there were pretty were all the time yeah well guess what we are sitting here in our one car it's called our body and the question is how well are we taking care of this one vehicle that has to last us a lifetime and health and wellness is the way to do that and i didn't come up with that believe it or not it was on my chiropractors board and i was always a healthy person but when i saw this imagine you have one car to last you a lifetime there's no bus there's no train there's no taxi how well would you take care of your car i was like i gotta do better and that's what i use to help people understand why we need to be healthy because this one car is running and so what are the things that go into that everybody knows it healthy exercise taking medication you know have good good things to do in your life hobbies and support so what i used to do is create a picture and if i stood on a chair there are four legs of the chair like what if i got down to one leg on that chair how well do you think it would hold me up there that is so when it comes to being healthy there are four legs that we need in our life nutrition is one of them exercise actually i say sobriety and let me explain what i mean by this it means stopping harmful behaviors so for example if you're a person who's diabetic and you still like to cheat and eat lots of ice cream every day so it's not harming ourselves in any way and then the last thing is structure which is also routine and those are the four corners of the building as well one of the things that's happened is over the years we've gone for these quick fixes right what time for dinner go to mcdonald's cover dinner go to burger king you know and and what happens is people are kind of starting to kind clog up the drains with some of the choices in eating that they're they're making so what i would always encourage my patients to do is not stop things that they love but to cut back a little bit moderation yeah ration because you know what happens when we start things we end up ultimately bingeing on them and so the goal is not to deprive ourselves but to just cut back a little bit  the way i like to explain this is what would happen if you were to gas station and you put fifteen gallons in a gas tank that would only hold twelve it overflow right well as human beings do the same thing but the problem is we create spare tanks to hold all the spare gas that we're putting in so when people have to buy bigger clothes they're actually buying bigger gas tanks to hold more of the or the food that they're eating so true and it and it just this picture of it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and so it really is about just balancing things out you know not saying don't eat this don't eat that but just kind of bring things back because you can only put so much gas and you know by russell trood all that that's one of the ways that i would get my patients to really at the hospital would be to really understand why healthy changes are so important but they don't have to be big changes like we talked about earlier just little ones yes baby steps baby steps in and you want to know what the most important intrusion things somebody can do eat  breakfast that is one of the most important meals of the day we get breast well many people skip it especially for managing people's waste like gorup because i think if i don't eat then i want to lose weight but the truth is is that you're actually to gain it because you're not putting any kind of fuel on the fire to get it burning while oh yeah i saw so i like using a lot of analogies because i found as if it just if i could say to you so the most important meal of the day is breakfast and you want to know why if you had a fire going in your fireplace and you got up in the morning and it was burning and you put a little bit of kindling or little bit in newspaper you'd start that fire burning well that's how we burn calories so we never put anything on your metabolism to get it started again it's not going to use it so true and i have to tell you one other thing about nutrition that people forget about leap recharging so if you don't go to sleep at night what would be your recommendation like well couple recommendations you know they say don't you should phone or your computer for at least an hour before you go to bed because it kind of creates the light actually affects our rhythm in our body the other thing they say is is really we keep the same pattern so that don't change it over an hour so in my younger days i used to like to on the weekends stay up till two o'clock in the morning and then sleep until twelve o'clock in the afternoon worst thing i could do because when we change those patterns we really start to screw up our kind of our recharge cycle and we need  our last segment where people think that i got to go to the gym more i gotta do what i would actually one of i get my patients started exercising i told them to stand up and walk to ring the commercials on their favorite t v shows activity doesn't have to be a lot because because think about this if you left a car idling all day long it would still use a gas great well that's how we burn calories is just even if we do a little bit of know they get to be seventy years old and worked all of their life won't hardly retired and then died within six months because they lost their purpose they lost their routine they lost their structure if you don't have a job and i know this from when i lost my own right if if i did not reach our work or school is our routine we have to get up at a certain time we have to leave the house or a know what we have to do when people lose that because they've been laid off or sometimes their mental health actually made it so they couldn't work if people don't replace stags it becomes quicksand and it just sucks them into where they're almost paralyzed and they can't move and so what i learned when i was laid off or recently to a fourteen they closed the place where i worked what i did was i still got up at the same time every day that i would go to work i still got up prepared to go to work but then i went to the county library and i made myself leave the house so that i still had structure to my day what happens in america these days is it people either have no structure particularly people who've facing unemployment because they've lost their jobs to no fault of their own and they have all this free time the thing good comes of it or we have people who go to the opposite extreme who are just busy doing doing doing doing doing and just have no time in there for themselves and i can over structure and the balance is really about having some structure routine today but also including some recharge time in there as well as the powerful of us we are talking about degree yes for a healthy lifestyle which forgive other people or even sometimes people have a hard time forgiving other people who doesn't know because they hold on to this thing for twenty five years that their brother or their sister need a little and an end so both and here's how i love i i once loved what i heard t d jakes say that forgiveness is what allows us to release the chains that hold us hostage in the past and i'm paraphrasing i don't know he said it exactly that way i understood what it really is the release of what is holding us stuck and forgive is also one of my words that i came up with so what it stands for the word f o r g i v e stands for find ourselves releasing grievances including victim experience in those electronic versions of for those people who like to read their books really have their kindles or my pads or whatever it might be might my goal was to get as many tools out there to people just to really empower them to have a healthy life so that they could have and i also brought with that i spent six years working in women's trauma programs so i spent six years working with women who'd had physical and sexual abuse early on in their lives and that was where the word forgive came because it became also the difficulty they had for giving themselves for putting themselves in th accepting yourself and celebrating to me or who are different well except yourself is saying hey you are not happy with who you are and wow we want people to grow you and i want people to change we want to move them towards this place where they're no longer stuck i have a saying where we were has gotten us to where we are and where we are doesn't have to be where we stay but if we don't start where we are then we stand no chance of moving forward and so except is another tool and it's another work tool  fear is in here and action is in here except is this it is a conscious choice enabling powerful transformation yeah and to that choice that we make every day we're responsible and we are we are making that choice and so that except it is and a over the time i think when i see into my brain i see but there are tools but what you said about the two things i said about except and celebrate and is accepting it is just saying you know what i am who i am and if there's something i want to change i can change it but today i am who i am and i can move in this direction and be like saying if you want to go from new york to california well that's what if you don't accept it you're starting in new york however i did get california i guess but celebrating to me is also so important because so many people want validation from people around them and i'm a big how i think even in little things every day is to honor when you push yourself when you exceed when you do something that you just had to push yourself to do and i'm a big believer in doing this several times every day leaving yourself a pat on the back because that just doing that even if you say nothing just doing this it's going all the way up to your brain in kind of creating those kind of neural pathway ask i don't know about you but i happen to love to teach that our brain works on two levels conscious and unconscious right here and our unconscious is what kind guides almost all of our behavior so i think that is the autopilot we were going to fly from new york to california and the autopilot is set to go to florida we're going to have to keep our hands on the steering wheel and consciously steel towards california until we get a new auto let me set otherwise we end up going to where the old auto pilot takes the road and that to me is how we work on ourselves we can go back and change what happened to us when we were kids when we were teenagers but today you hold the power of deciding where it is you want to go i also believe that self confidence is probably for one of the ingredients for yes he how can especially degeneration the younger generation become so passionate by the younger generation as how can we instill that self confidence in them because i see that a lot of them you know they need to learn the need to know how they can go about it well we've got a lot to do for the younger generations they're of do and you know what i think is to is it sometimes again that younger generation looks it where it is they want to be before they realize you know you can take a step it's really believe in selves and and i i don't know about you but that's also where i think schools have changed over the years and i think schools used to help instill that conference in students and anymore these days it's more about tests and and yeah and that really that was you know the places and i think the families i think the people around young people who are also responsible for planting that little seed and then helping to nurture it could i think of self confidence is a little seed you know and we can plant that and then do ever grow why not show it abs watering and one of the most important ways i think to help young people do that is service helping somebody beyond themselves if it's just you know volunteer and just i'm a big believer in volunteer and i'm a big believer it is when you kind of can help other people you're actually really helping yourself and you see that man and i think that we don't even sometimes create enough opportunities for young people to do that then we make it easy you know unless you're part of this group work that club or organization i think honestly part of education if i if i had a school i think i think that should be something in the curriculum for every young person in their school has to do some kind of service project and i don't know maybe they do but i don't know wow we are coming to the end of the show but before we did you talk about comply with his work i tell you what there you don't get to control what happens tomorrow you don't get to control what happened yesterday the only day that we can actually do something about is today the only day and on but we've got to the end of the show thank you so much i will see you next time on the den of by god bless y