had the last before i started training the last thing that happened was i got into a street fight and i was a bit of an idiot and the guy hit me with a bat well you see the scar on my head all right and a kick in the guy's ass was a lot bigger  be a fighter right away you just look at me like are you really thinking about this what do you tell them we're like here you know you don't want to you know want to be real nice to them and but we want to also you got to kind of let me go like relax and that's what they kind of tried to do to me right away philadelphia area which is one of the biggest of the biggest in our region right now who push a lot of our local fighters into the u f c and delatour in bigger name promotions as well all right now a lot of smaller like locked crew meaning he's he was the highest level and for two rounds i went out there and beat the crap out of them i know losing by submission but because i found out but you know i buried the kid and put him in a house i didn't see that you know that lasted a hard one and being from filled up i'm from the marne new jersey but i live in south philly said and i was always a big philadelphia fan big eagles fan so you know how would we i know how it is to give to them  on my own my submissions more my chokes because that was breakdown you know i was more of a wrestler i start off as a wrestler and then i became more of a brawler in there and i needed to learn something different ok so i started learning how to do different kind shows like my favorite choke is called the anaconda joke you know all right and we called it the vienna condom all right most of my wins were by the would say guillotine on some of the winds but it was an anaconda choke nothing in my life experience could prepare for that so you actually would go second fight after that because i had i had this kid in the first fight in that in that position and i didn't finish it ok and the coaches saw that i could use utilize that choke so the second fight was in was for he had me be levon or twelve flights at the time all right and i was over more all right but they brought him up from kansas this kid this kid shot in on me and i grabbed him up in the choke ok and choked him out in about fight was against this kid who was a marine all right and me and him were supposed to fight a couple times before him but it's like kept falling through the ring and sort of pissed me off a little bit more because i really want to fight this kid i was supposed to fight him for an amateur title and i lost and i lost that fight so i had to just fight some random guy for nothing no title all right and then i finally got my hands on as my first main event flight all right and we had this war of words going back and forth we were it was  forth and it was probably it's my favorite fight because of the energy in the arena at the time we were in we were in south philadelphia at the sheet metal workers union hall all right we had all his people there from from from philadelphia i had my people from philly and jersey they're all right this place was rock and you couldn't couldn't hear a pin drop in this place all right and but you know took my took my aggression out on him and  one ok and then afterwards you know we kind of we spoke about it you know made up and it was also great it was also a great experience because it was the first and only time i threw up in t you always want to belt out in obviously didn't get that get that opportunity there's not enough flights one for that but you know there was always always one in the chute to the highest level on and five for belts but never got that out of  and also you put yourself out there which leads to class a question from from the audience is from the princeton new jersey now so street these questions were submitted when you lose how do you deal with a lost and how do you how do you not let it get you down to prepare for the next fight if it's a whole ten or fifteen minutes i'm angry all right some flights some flights i understand you know that i could have i could have done better for this flight ok and i go in train to do better for that flight ok so make adjustments make adjustments sometimes in that because it's a totally mental game because sometimes you just don't understand why you're doing this and why you're destroying this person this other man and then you end up losing and that that takes a toll sometimes on the like he for anybody even myself as a coach with other with other or with other fighters ok they ask me why did this happen or what can i i was always a company i want to be and you want to get back in there you know it's like you want to get right to the you you want to go right back into sight and i exactly i had i had i had i had a problem with always fighting because i was a giant i was a junkie for you know and so i had i had this one this one state fighting you're putting your blood and guts out there how can you trust the people behind you she said she knows about the dunking in the boxing world i mean can you get ripped off can you be exploited i mean how do you take care of business  you know it's a business all in all growing through everybody's out there to gain something from i never really seen one hundred percent of that you know i've seen it happen to other individuals but not myself like not myself you know you know i was never really toyed with you know it was always fighters falling out for me you know and then having to find another fight for me if i wanted it or god i always had the chance to say if you want this floyd you can take this money because this is what we have if not don't take it or if a fight fell through we got this opponent or this a poem but there's no find something to you know figure something out like when i was you know coach could sum up being a coach you know all round like you know like to recommit books you know i know majok and all but do some dirty stuff like read comic books play some birth she found out her biological mother with a high class prostitute who was killed by the east forty second street richard cottenham who was a known serial killer around late nineteenth seventy's early one nine hundred eighty s during th prison and formed a relationship now spoiler alert i thought she was going to be the first ever stand up serial killer comedy and that's not something to be happening it's  appropriate i got it i was just housewife was there too was it was a rollicking to malta with interesting conversation about serial killers sex helping people making money not caring about people i mean you were all over the place and now you're never said i didn't care about people and we know you did and then you didn't use that five one minute you said i just want to make money five minutes later i want you to testify you said i care about people and people got hurt and then you're like this is the last to give this redemption for richard say something  say ok so yes and yes and i'd love to hear your story i mean this is yes and i'd love vivienne to ask the question because that makes me so nervous though much i am so delighted that you said that so what i would like to hear from you first is how did you first find out the story about your biological mother i found out bits and pieces growing up i was too young to know names and specific details so when i was four it was pretty simple you're you were adopted and then as a girl grows she naturally may butt heads with her mother and at some point during her teenage years she might ask i mean i don't remember the specific times i asked but i know i did mention it two or a few times during arguments like you know who is my mom you know tell me the real story and she in of rage said your mother was a prostitute and that was really her final word on it because i pushed and pushed and pushed and i needed to know the truth and i was too young to know so at sixteen when she said that it did shut me up and i did put it away for a while i put away the questions for all for a great while for about ten years till i was twenty six exhausted and then i i went on a search all the adoption agency boy in jersey you invited a guest to your show you know you've been listening to her he's like the kid in school who ok finally the children some society of new jersey in trenton called me bath and i discovered many horrific things about her last weekend on the planet that stuck with me for a while well so are you comfortable sharing some of those i would see with our house i would not mind sharing them with you guys but since it's a community t v show i might have to p g thirteen this appearance i've been watching the show hey you know i have flash news flash i don't watch t v since two thousand and six she sells should you your kids will be watching  told my kids at all to be on t v tonight i don't think they should watch it they're not going to see this live they might see the clips in the future and that's why i'm keeping things he thirteen so what's the p g thirteen version which is the p g thirteen version as that's true i discovered that my biological mother was beheaded december second one thousand nine hundred seventy nine by a man named richard cutting him while you know i'm still trying to discover facts that are important before you write in the process of writing i do have a joke this man is a professional actor you know that are killer jokes that i can't wait to share with everyone but until i get some of the really important questions answered i can't really joke around about it yet on community t v but i want to have you don't do it why did it live for adam and his wife a little bit but have you been in the clubs where you know you know are you concerned that some people would be really offended by saying what happened like how you came to be here and your mother's life and death right and you uncovering that there's that then there's your ambition and material for your ambition that's another story and then there is like the other sort of unrelated story of you know is it ok to make fun of serious things and then there's adam what has to whisper do you want people to you know you think funny or do you want to was do your thing and then do you do your i didn't know what restored of justice was until i decided one day i was going to forgive richard instead of carrying around the anger and the frustration i was going to get rid of that and it was something i was doing in my mind is you know i forgive richard yeah that's what i'm going to do  i'm going to find out what happened and i'm going to forgive him and it just became a bigger it was like a snowball effect you said before your you actually were afraid of her cod have you for many years you thought he might just get out of jail even if you knew it wouldn't he told me about it yeah yeah that's those were good times when i stayed up all night thinking that richard was in a coming get mean you know i knew he was uncomfortable actually was a hard from the get out or you know correct but i knew there was other richards because i found out at an early age that do that well nobody really knows but in order to be an actual serial killer like to go all the way with that you kind of need to try facts of psychopathology right you need to have you need to have a where you want to do it where you fantasize about doing this terrible thing one for me then you need to kind of have o c d because you need to want to repeat it and really to repeat it and then you  psychopath questionable because sometimes are seemingly normal right because without having that that's what it disregard for human life complete disregard and actually get leisure you have this repetition compulsion and then you have to have the disregard for human life if you don't have all three of them it's not going to happen right if you have if you're a psychopath but you don't get that charge a period of them to run it right you need to have all three of them are also not going to be a serial killer you know in this training that i took with the f b i we learned that they estimate that there's usually about thirty five serial killers active in the united states as logic there so there's a different type of psychopath in hollywood definitely it's a you know i don't i'm not a psychologist so i don't know what any of the terms but all i know is a lot of you don't know who to trust you don't know who your friend really unfortunately a lot of people don't have an attention span of five minutes while people even know about young people who don't even know where he is going to correlate much of what's to say i thought in any comic should know who george carlin was anyway it's just like you with acting you know any students that i have  to be the best at whatever he did so so i told him to be the best x serial killer for me the best reform so what can you do that you talk to him all the time can you get material than you know which is you have it well this is i'm not actually worried about my killer jokes he's really intrigued by them and i can't wait to share them with you personally because i didn't realize that that's what you really wanted me to come here to do is talk i try to sharpen the killer jokes on well that's ok know come out with what your opening was going to be you know so my father's a serial killer or anybody else out there and you know whatever you start introducing the whole of it is not funny and those aren't the kind of jokes i tell because when you have that happening in your family you that she was going yes i'll tell you something about this that in my opinion i worked with sex offenders for ten years and the director of the place his father was a sex offender registered sex offender in another state and all this guy ever did was by the fact that people knew about it i mean he would admit it but he had no humor about it in my opinion having a sense of humor about terrible things is one of the he was horrible he is as far as i know to this day is horrible also running the place he's still running the place i mean he's got to be he's he's probably going to be retiring and come no one is more horrible than the toybox killer please look it up at your own risk but in terms of somebody who is out in the community running bad affairs running a facility for sexually violent predators who is the biological son of a sexually violent predator and has no ability to say hey wait a minute did i and harry any of this like let me examine myself let me try to be kind to people let me try to figure out what impact this had on my life and he's a psychologist you know ability no ability whatsoever is improv these becomes a super toxic environment where is if somebody in that position would say hey look at this let's let's get a little humor about this let's get a little levity into the situation th thrilled to find out answers the questions i've had life long hours but there are so many important people that have their eyes on this project in me and richard that i have to kind of be a little bit tight lipped and all sorts of money you know my natural i just can't be making killer jokes until i get the answers that i'm looking for i can't just joke around right now when i'm still on a quest to figure out the details of you're going to have to invite me back for let me come on the show with my ideas which i know are hard to digest no one wants to hear hilde miller i don't even want to hug anyone else other than richard i don't know much about serial killers i don't  only want to hog the serial killer just richard all the serial oh oh yeah it was just my restored of justice project is called serial killers need hugs too because this is like  at our next acting class i'm sure that serial killers will be on the menu absolutely wow yes and if not heads are going to roll and i'm with that no one's pretty head and i thought oh ok you stole it i so what are you looking at doing what's not well i never thought of it never every dawned on me i got a student and his dad approached me because the student has an older brother who is autistic his dad approached have you ever thought about doing an improv workshop for autistic students i thought no i never did and i was not if i don't really know that much about autism i thought it was something like almost like down mandarin was all rain man yeah was that guy like right now i'm learning more about the spectrum and all these kinds of think there's somebody on the spectrum that like him that you couldn't you can't possibly reach just wouldn't work so we get i'm learning he's a vain actor from l a not really concerned with those achieving kids with asperger's to improve their language and confidence and the way now i was like yes might turns out my sister in law has been working with children of special needs percent just amazing i've never seen that behavior from him before and some of the kids who were a little more severely autistic at least on that level worse were participating he did the novel game they were actually listening and participa think schools all that's what i'm working on working on you know who i should you know put in the program together first i have something to bring and i have it pretty much ready and now it's a matter of finding out who i need to speak to at the various schools and organizations you know i've got a real big proponent for a guy that lives out in colorado now but he was the former president of autism speaks and even school here in princeton and then he saw what i was doing and he asked me  with the car or the those two times that i did the one thing down there and i just can't wait to get out of it i mean what yeah you know i was talking to somebody the other day about using this yes and improper technique as a method of communicating yes i'm just you know in a personal crisis type of situation i said because i was listening to her communications and everything was yes but but yeah but and i said how about if you try this and she is a pediatrician this woman but it wasn't working with her patients was just talking in a personal way what is very easy to say to eighty and i said how about if you would you consider  this is something i learned in my acting class with you and he said you know this is actually something that we use to deescalate kids when they are acting out in the hospital so she knows this tech but she doesn't use it in her line known technique but she doesn't use in her life and apparently the autism people have not integrated it into their calling into their autism programs well that's you know sure i learned it like i have it you know she learned it in pediatrics but i did you know an internship in pediatrics and then i trained as a psychiatry so i never wanted anywhere else you could even use it when you argue with your wife i mean jodi said you know i'm telling you you were watching today here  it's a it's a it's a recognition of an idea even if something greatest idea in the world it's being ok i knowledge that idea and we're going to build on it and i might say that yes and yes but it's the easiest thing to say people say no because they can you know or they have that power that just shuts people down and i work with companies and all different types of organizations and all different kinds of levels improvisation is just amazing what i can do from every level of life you know and then when they start with the whole yes and mindset i think the exercise you say yes and yes and yes yes but in the work like it's an improvisation were alerted improvisational theater yes and means i'm going to go with whatever you're giving me a moment you know build  jennifer it was quite different yes and we were expecting something else but that's why you have to be ready for it you know it a curveball they said yes and that's why i'm looking forward to coming back yes and i'm really looking forward to being there next time you just said i might not be there if she doesn't deliver the goods with a negative thing so yes in the ratings will go up the roof yes and i think i might use the yes end game for my next contact as that yes and maybe if adam isn't here next time i'm going to be the host of the show yes said we have is this something smells rotten in denmark oh yes and that's a line from hamlet yes and hamlet is something that and i think you should go because you could show them how handsome and successful you are yes and that would mean lots for the great cause that we're trying to discuss about autism and integrating it into  well i did a game called we did one word story we did which is one word at a time where we create a story together that was a lot of fun there is no right or great we did a good game called three headed expert which graduated from one word stor three people to sit there three people with three heads with their one person and the answer are there an expert on something like you know basket weaving whatever and you ask him questions they answer it one word at a time so they got to work together and it's not about trying to be funny it's not about any of that stuff what's happening is that they're listening they're working together and they've got this it's almost like a well oiled machine after a while and these kids really start talking and the idea is to get them in more confident in social situations and i learned that was brilliant as a lot of these folks are they're very this social skills are not good at all and there's a very high unemployment or under employment rate with autistic people  depression and depression and it's because they and i thought well what maybe this can make a difference you know they're having fun and they're also breaking out of a shell and they're communicating they're talking to one another learning techniques so they can carry on a conversation and like you said you know you know we say cliche things like in the moment even though it's not a cliche i actually saw it actually that say hit home because they really think about what they're doing they forgot totally that just ended with they were so into it you know what else i would i was there but i know that from taking these classes with you it's very empowering that we get to participate and create and do things because in the traditional classroom situation especially with these kids that are disabled they are marked disables like their stamp on their forehead and then you have these these teachers which in many cases really see themselves as putting something on these kids to make them better you know they're kind of like the do gooders and they're very very controlling and we whenever somebody tells us what to do the last thing we want to do is what they tell us to do or what ever the situation you know like we you know as women especially do or were looking for a perfect casual pair of shorts are 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