hi everybody jody toeplitz host of we to me divorce decor warehouse becomes a home imagine waking up and feeling homeless in your own space looking around and nothing feels like it used to weedon me helps divorce adults and their kids feel happy and comfortable in their space as they've literally gone from we to me married to single by restoring a sense of permanency and emotional emotional wellbeing through the uplifting psychological impact of color and design and also other coaches and other professionals that can help you in other areas of your life as you know you know i help you with your space i help you embrace your space but i have with me today my good friend and fabulous career coach gina calvin know her company's called indigo force and i'm going to let her tell you a little bit more and gina thank you so much for being on my show again said i get it we're done now or i'm worse off ok so my business and go force is really dedicated to helping people really discover who they are and figure out how to match that to different occupational choices college career paths and i also do a lot of work helping people who are just feeling disengaged with their current job so if you have a job and you're really not going to have but you just know you can't leave right now i really help people figure out how did they re date their yes that's everything's relating to dates asked yes how do you do wonderful work that you love despite the job you hate right right that is that is the very very much and i know you have carried along with you for three fabulous tips that you can share with everybody based on dating dating your job dating your career and relating it funny enough when we talked in the car relating it to actually you can use of these tips actually d s will be which is kind of cool interview three i think a little known interviewing tips are not the common things that you may have heard maybe have but i don't think the way i'm going to know the way you explained it is really fun and makes you feel excited yeah because these are also tips that you can apply to getting back into the dating scene yet you know so if you're feeling nervous or a little anxious about it you know everybody feels anxious about a job interview you know there's no way to get one hundred percent comfortable with that and it's the same thing with first dates you know you may love dating but that first date always brings up some jitters it's could be a little bit awkward yeah well so and again every every job interview is is typically it's one maybe sometimes two or three get comfortable as you go but it's that who do you know what do i wear all that stuff what do i say i don't know what to do so why don't you start with your very first tip yeah so what i want to say about these three tips is that you know the whole point of an interview is alternately let's neat and let's figure out do we want to hang out with each other typically monday through friday nine to five yeah you know do so you know i love the quote by my angelo that we all know oh i know you're going to say said i know what you know we often read we often know how people make us feel  you and you know at the end of the day everybody thinks it's about impressing people oppressing upon them with your great experience and your credentials and your skills but don't be fooled because at the end of the day it's really about do i get how i'm going to feel by having you hang around me all right and there was actually a really cool study that was done by the university of ohio where they would show people just twenty to thirty seconds of a job interview and then ask them to predict that this person get an offer of employment or not  almost always people were accurate yeah i bet and what the study really showed is that people interviewers include often go with their gut and what that really means is you can immediately tell how you're going to how you feel in someone's presence and that's your guide your governs all about feeling and child exactly so yes we're going to talk about three things that get at how do you make that favorable feeling impression ok so my first tip really has to do with the first thing you should do to really feel comfortable getting ready for a job interview is to nail down your career story we all have a story we all have a story and the story there's a big opportunity i the two biggest things anybody wants to hear especially adults and children is that when you're hearing a story it is you want to laugh and you want to be inspired yes sure so the career story is your opportunity to show an interviewer that you're in gauging yeah you know and that you have some charisma and how you make them feel is how you're probably going to make the clients feel and the other people that you work with so you want your story to have an element of being funny and inspiring and you want to talk about you know how you first became motivated to take on the career path that you took you know why did you take that path and you also want to include components about you know what how you got your jobs it demonstrates how you network how you were able to land the opportunities that you have and you want to talk about how you knew the time was right to move on you know like what is it that you were moving towards as opposed to what is it that you were running from yes those in a very different and that's see things like dating absolute are you running towards or away from a cut from a commitment or whatever that may be absolutely and your story should also include you know how you discovered some passions along the way so even if you are you know if you work in a as an accountant you know like you more a tax accountant a job you might think is really technical and boring good tax accountants are passionate about tax laws and helping people save money through taxes you've got to convey that they want to know that you're passionate about what you do and you know for people who might be entering back into the job force you know especially maybe if you are going through a divorce and maybe maybe you were a elmira how does that how does that come play out you want to talk about why the time is right to go back and it's ok to say you know i'm going through a divorce i used to be a stay at home parent and i was really passionate about dedicating this period of time to my family and maybe raising my children or developing my home or want to be able to also share in your story what you learned from each experience what you're grateful for yes this is an incredible opportunity your career story to show that you're a person of gratitude you know we want to hire people who we believe are going to be engaged and grateful and you've got to demonstrate that in your career stories just a killer opportunity to demonstrate is that it's thought it's really your time to shine whether you're out of the workforce or not exactly that's a great i love that first point because yeah i know people don't always feel that yet so the whole point of the story again to show that you're engaging and charismatic to show that you're a person of gratitude to talk about the elephant in the room there it is a gap of them yeah you want to cover all of those bases and of course laugh be inspiring and i always tell people it's a great idea when you're drafting your career story to write it down and then read it like you know when you're on your smartphone record it you want to get this nailed down to like a five minute or less story it's like a real you know brief summary that's a good thing to not go overboard and talk to my right doc and be a problem and this is the same thing with dating you know like obviously you don't want to maybe do a story when you're dating but you want to share your relationships you know especially if if you have gone through you know been with somebody for many years and now you're out there dating again you haven't been dating in a long time i think you want to be comfortable and prepared about what you're comfortable saying to somebody about your relationship story you know why have you never been married or why did you get divorced you know if the person you're dating has been through that you know it's an opportunity for relatedness you know in the us yes you want to talk about it but of course you don't want to tell them everything and you want to stay positive and yeah you want to it's phase one of the dating process the dating in the dating the end romancing the job interview as well it's the same exact thing yeah it's i like that these are things you can use no matter where you are in your life whether it's a job interview or days and i doubt if you can nail down your career story you can nail down your relationships just run if you can very true yes what about your second job so my second yeah my second tip and this applies for a career or dating you really want to be prepared to talk about what you're doing to invest in your ongoing development and growth as a person that doesn't have a ample won't give an example example two things first you want to be able to talk about how you are investing in your development from obviously a professional perspective so an example of that could be obviously taking courses yes occasions it could be a book you're reading something different ways that you can demonstrate your professional development the one thing i'll say about professional development is that is a big mistake that people often make on job interviews is that they only talk about professional development in the sense of how their employer afforded them the opportunity for the for the experience it's more important to show that you do is are new and here's what i did i joined a networking group and it's and it's twenty five hundred dollars a year i put in the time money and effort to do that to network i've learned how to do that speaking engagements well this is a great thing i network and every few weeks we have to stand up and do a ten minute pitch this is been very helpful for me in doing presentations for people in and larger crowds these are great things to tell people absolute tell you are potential right employer yeah there's nothing wrong with telling an employer that you had some kind of professional development opportunity that was supported by of your current employer but you absolutely will have an edge over your competition if you're talking about how you invested in your own development especially your profession that shows you that you are passionate about it and that you you will you felt it was worthwhile doing to improve yourself overall yes kind of like going to the gym you know you put the time and effort in so that you're in good shape you're doing the same thing with a career shaping yeah i'm in good shape i go to the gym i work out i work out of my career the same people want that your personal investment  shows that i don't expect you to pay for something that i'm not willing to pay for right you know that's important that is important right like that so the second area of your your development in your growth is that you also want to talk about your personal development and growth so what experiences have you invested in that are improving who you are in a positive way as a person you know so this can get to you know  depressing from a dating standpoint or from an employer standpoint i don't want to be around negative people ever learn women feeling poorly i don't want to be around negativity i want to be around people that are going to uplift me make me feel better or going to be you know somehow more cohesive with the way i think in the way i i feel and you want to end it it's an opportunity to open it up like you know what are you doing out here that always have to be about you know universal laws in the example talking about eating well which makes you feel well and when you feel well you perform well and work right actually but it could be you know even about you know learning about you know better money management or learning about  room right and i could even just be something you're learning about winds you're learning about anything gardening you know but it's something that you want to be able to demonstrate in some formal or formal or informal way through the interview process that you are evolving as a person and i think that you know in interviewing and in dating you want to know that you're with somebody who is always evolving always growing that that matters to them yes there are there otherwise you're stagnate just like in a room in a space everything has to have movement and flow exactly right so your brain does your mind your your relationships so does your space i'll talk about that i'll talk about how a space needs to have movement will relate i relate that to what you say yes so if i could just share with us a lot of how to develop and grow a lot of my clients who asked me well the truth is i don't i'm not really doing anything so what do i say and i tell them well you better put your big girl or boy pants on and you better figure out something you would like to invest and you know and then you can talk about here are things i'm considering you know i'm considering taking this class or vaclav reading this book i mean it takes ten development i like that you use the word the language considering because there are people what i can see that panic oh my gosh but i'm not taking wine or i'm a learning about wine or i'm not doing this or that and i'm not going to be able to say the word but i'm whatever you want to call it they're going to know so i like that what's nice about you is you're like a wordsmith you're very good with language and being truthful yeah that's true feel to say i'm considering leaving this book or i'm considering taking ok you just need to realize it i'm telling you this is something that will absolutely give you an edge over other dates even people with more experience than you know it shows demonstrates so much about who you are as a person so considering of course a second choice but if you haven't done anything that we're considering is very helpful i love are we going on to your thirty's because i totally love that yes two the third to a case the third test is again going on god yes and this is something that you're going to impress upon people in the first seconds of the interview and i mean they engage with you in the reception area and say hello and boom home i've already started making decisions and my my third tip that i love is to do to do something that's to make you stand out yes and what i mean by that is i always tell my clients that if you're going on a job interview go out even if you don't have a lot of money go out and buy something n make you feel beautiful absolutely not powerful not sexy no just beautiful and the reason for that is when we feel beautiful or handsome at and they are exactly beautiful is key because when we feel beautiful or handsome you you give off a very different energy you do you know and it's it's a calmer energy it's just a warm lovely energy and that's what people want to feel rather deal if they didn't rather you're on a day s or a job or you know yes it's the truth you know powerful say powerful for when you have the job and you've got to take on that killer meeting or the killer up in financial services which is you know dark suit light shirt you know it's very predictable it's almost a uniform absolutely will yes and i have a candidate that i was going to interview and i met her in the lobby and know conservative it immediately made me ask her i just said to where as we were walking to my office for the interview i just said fabulous bad yeah and she had a story about  you because she aged to me and i didn't even have her but in my seat you know and her story it was about how she found the bag how she got the bag how she loves the color paying fields that pink brings her good luck she had me loving pink before i got back to the chair and i think about that now when we were in the inner who didn't even begin and let me tell you i sat there and i said oh dear lord lady please do not spit list he did get the job because the other thing about it is you know it's not the pink personal loan that got her the job but she was memorable because when we talked about the candidates we all refer to her the pink per se that's right if you were to  memorable in everything that you do in life including your space right right and you could tell that pink made her it made her feel good it was her color it was her thing so beautiful that's the thing and it should be new and  i said even if you don't have a lot of money i mean i know purses can be expensive but it could be a barrette it could be a new mascara it can be a new sock doesn't it anything that really makes you feel good and it's got to be new because you wan invest in yourself you want to treat yourself and you want to feel beautiful on that energy and you want to walk the walk because when you make that investment whether it's small or large you are committing to that and saying i believe that i'm going to get this job and i'm worth and be happy and feel good about what i'm doing as well it just it's like a domino effect that just keeps going it's just wonderful thing and it doesn't matter if the interviewer never notices the thing that makes you stay they don't you felt that you felt good right and that's what they're going to notice again my angelot they're going to remember how you made them of her exactly and these are my three if you could only do three things to prepare for a job interview i mean of course you should know about the company of course issued a compelling question on my website i have a whole interview we're still talk it prepare for a job interview that has all the things that if you do these do these tips it's really going to make you feel were probably let you just say that at the end of the show i will it will i will urge you  everybody out there how to reach you and what i what i like about you know we talked about all these things how this as they relate to dating i want to talk about dating your space i talked about it with diane i want to talk about it here and we could you use you as an example because i just recently did your bedroom and we've got it your bathroom and but the pageant room and the bathroom actually of our very intimate spaces yes and we created this area in which it feels like your dating your space don't you feel like when you you're in there with you yeah it's like oh my gosh i can close the door i have a sanctuary i feel like this is my private time this is where i can be myself i can be away from the kids you know you need that time and it's really important to be able to create a space that is supportive and like a sanctuary when at the end of the day when you've got that new job now and you've got to put that pink purse in your new custom closet that we also design rather you also want to be able to on wind in feel like wow this feels really good in here there's there's a place for me to unwind a place for my mind to rest a little bit and a place to connect with my spouse or and if you're not married in your recently divorced is displaced a place to connect to yourself yeah absolutely is that there has been and i feel so we're presenting you know lose that little nook of a house and you were so open to like really odd ideas i want to say are my own have ideas but i think they're unique and i think out of the box and what's nice about working with with people like you is that you're so open to something that's not the norm right and if anybody wants to work with me i am not the norm that's i'm all about how you feel just like you gave these tips about feeling good in your interview and encouraging that come across to me it over and over again it's about how your space makes you feel not about how it looks right but these components within the space can generate a feeling like such as the pink bag right she walked in you you had that immediate reaction it was a focal point it was something that spoke about her as a person and the same thing happens in your space right what colors are chosen where things are position say who a little bit or give a little clue to someone coming to visit about who you are are you walking through the house and while this is a this is a clue as to who you are just like when you walk around to someone's house and you see you notice what books there are in the house read the books that they have say something about them so i like to use as an example the kind of like the pink bag but in a space it's almost like creating a focal point let's talk about we don't have that much time but let's talk about the focal point we created in your bathroom the medallion was like the pink bag right right it's a focal point it was in your face it said who you were when we were looking you were like oh my gosh that's so me to minister i am in the shower it was was not at all what we were thing knowing and that's what you have to be open to to doing things that are not at all what you were initially finkle thinking people out there when it comes to jobs and interviews and dating and your space in with a plan you know like you said like you said have some compelling questions but be open to change because if you're stiff and stringent and you can't budge your space is going to look like that your interview will turn out that way and so will your first date and last date by the way first or last and so you won't get that job but if you can be open and have things unfold and have trust which is what we had doing your space there was a lot of trust and we had a little bumps along the way with the contractor and things like that but you know every time there was a bump there was a solution and i think i think i believe your space came out better than we even anticipated because of those bumps  because of being forced to be more creative and coming up with different solutions and options right really made a difference to exactly what it did and like you said you know at the end of the day somebody else may come into our space and either love it or hate  dick expression of who my husband bob and i really is and you know what i can accept somebody not loving it because they're entitled to their opinion but it's mine and i love it because the more i got to know about you the more i realize things that you bypassed didn't you didn't even know about yourself i was able to bring out we think about the black chandelier the black last gen where there's all these really cool things ok we're at an end i can't believe it this is crazy but in the end of the space was coming for you no matter what it was indigo what does that mean it's a color blue also what's cool about indigo is and these literally are indigo blue are these also there are what's great about that is blue lowers your blood pressure makes you feel calm and it decreases your so think about feeling that way in your bedroom think about what we did in jena space and it made both you and your husband feel calm so these are not nerve you indigo is also the color that governs your third eye shadow right and that when you're coming from a place of higher self you know that's right and that's what we're all about self knowing what you know thank you for coming please tell people how they can reach you well i have sorry tips for what to do to webster and offer an interview at indigo force dot com ok you know how to find me we to me dot