hi i'm carol ricardo also known as america's wellness and bassett and welcome to the well you show i'm joined on today's show by my co host who i could do the show without we have age old torture baku i call the pain detective and tell people where they can find if they're in pain ok facebook instagram muscles in balance you up because she put your muscles in balance and we have this is your first time tuning into well you show really we started this show a couple years ago just to bring the tools for living well to people and i've been working in hospitals for twenty five years reaching out and my vision was always catch it before you got to the hospital so check some of our old shows because we have some great ones actually you can catch them all at the well you show dot com i put them all on one website so be easy for people to find i keep the ladies in the dark i bipolar support alliance and it really is a support organization for people or people impacted by other people's living with mood disorders and mental health conditions and every year they have a state conference here in new jersey and i it's the first time i got to speak as a peer because you ladies know that twenty seven years ago i was thank god diagnosed with major depression and that was after two years of belting medical bills and you know tests and trying to figure out was going on and finally got put me to work at a psychiatric hospital and i could find out after eight months like what's going on with me  and that was the beginning of my recovery and so what i shared there is what i want to share here on our show today because it's really it's really simple but it's just so simple sometimes people who's it  think about a combination lock right and i was going to try to bring one and i did it but i wanted to have a little prop here you know and you know that with a combination lock you have to use a couple different codes right it indoctrinated is the word to the fact that people who have wellness inside of them is just kind of our body will heal if we can give it the right tools and kind of you know the analogy i use is david you know the statue that michelangelo most most at the wrong guy but i once heard him say it allegedly because i wasn't there that he didn't carve david he simply david from the stone and i think that we all i think that's what you do you know when you work with people you help release you know kind of that that wellness that's just still inside of them doctor treat people who came in in wheelchairs and then leave six months later with a cane and it happened to be about arthritis now my dad had this really simple treatment that nobody would make money and so it was never actually i know that it had sailing b vitamin d as i know how c m yeah it was all just very natural sort of stuff and he also talked about wellness and your nutrition and this is in the sixty's wow you know i mean the i wish i could remember you know i was born sixty two so even when i was seven years old being able to kind of hear these stories and of you know and he passed away when i was fourteen but that little bit i got exposed was to really help me see that and so what i shared and what i want to share with you all and people watching those today's really the combination that i used to get my life back because i became a non functioning human being you know i stop go into the gym i stop talking to people and socializing i mean the depression really had me and it was work to get well but the work pays off you know because it's not like this marble is not going to magically dave it's not going to melt away and show up we have to do a little bit of work to get there and what's really cool it just so happens to turn out this way actually all right so three so a three part combination and a and i actually have this on the car for oh i forgot i want to share this definition of wellness that i came across it's from the national wellness institute and that is wellness is that active process through which people become aware of and make choices towards a more successful existence isn't that good i mean because it means that my illness will never go away but i could still be well i was waiting for your get there and your word you know what well this is a word i just haven't used it so often i don't have it in my hand but for you well but but i love that definition because people think well you can't have wellness if you have an illness and it doesn't go away you can't it's successful existence and these are the three codes that i found out that will get us there so the first one where using my new markers here is actually very simple it's a what a stands for is attitude and there are two things i want to get you on what kind of done shows we've talked about this before you all the power of our mind in the negative self talk and all the things that kind of go into this but here's the thing i want you all to think about is that it is one is that it's a direction and two is that it's al so what i mean by a direction is there when i get up in the morning i had a choice to make do i focus towards wellness or do i focus towards illness you know you make that choice rather than towards yeah oh yes and the other thing that i think about is that we have to choose it because if we let the symptoms when yes which which direction the symptoms are going to have us focusing down  deciding and then what happens is it just fuels that it becomes that spiral out of control and i once read something where it was so cool because even said even if physically you can't even if you were to act as if so for example i know right now you can go for a run right know right or wrong but it would be imagining you know where would you go with it if you could so th right that's our sign you know we are where we're supposed to be but my nieces went there and it was i want to see twenty twelve then i got a phone call in labor day weekend might have my brother in law said carol one of the girls you something burning man and she's in the hospital oh and she barely alive her liver shut down or kidneys are shut down you know and i have to tell you all the you know the first thing i thought you know like having this conversation with her like what the hell were you doing scuse my cursing and and so for me i focused on wellness my from the minute my even brother in law told me that news my my outcome my picture the direction my brain went in was wellness and i've had practice you know sometimes you go down that illness road you have to hear oh no no no no no come back this way my sister refused to let anybody in the hospital bed in a hospital room talk anything other than wellness it wasn't about you know what are cheap like what in there never they wanted to talk something like odds are this she'd make them step out you know and she herself would do this kind of meditation guided me it is really where she actually imagined herself kind of inside you know my niece is just doing all the healing like they've actually done for some cancer patients they have do guided visualization where they have them go in and just kind it imagine like a pac man eating away and her and research has shown that this works and guess what she ended up getting well enough that she was flown back to california and over time she got well too were now days she's made a full recovery well turns out she had some kind of aware heart condition that when whatever she took this thing was was it just threw everything completely and tail spin and then i see the thing is about energy too is it thinking about positive or you know kind of our attitude i'm going to have a shitty day you know and practice is when to what's going to happen you know that murphy's law and anything and it really still work on just work on our attitude and focusing one wellness goal that's what i would always say have one goal you want to accomplish and hour to say with the attitude then i'm repeating all the negative yes absolutely so right absolutely i'm so glad you you i'm so glad you're doing that and i know what else you do you go to your mike right and you know what and there been a few days that that there was wires down or something going on and i couldn't out of my road i found a way to deal with it but it's like i can't get to my safe place or might meditate hair yeah and i think that's the thing that you work to keep to called on to this makes sense i guess what the next one's really easy and this is this is actually a show we've done the other thing kind of kick myself kick myself i want to bring magnets  prints and and again this is kind of one of our other shows and we've done actually a couple shows on this where a kind of stood and we've got to create the foundation and whether you realize it or not you mentioned it you know the four things routine you're structure it has to be something that works for you like if you had all the free time in a world that would not be good for you because guess where your mind will go oh yeah who you know right at back yet you know but it's doubt routine and what we've kind of talked about was is that in order to have a foundation for me you know and not that it's this way for everybody but it was medication right it was i say silber meeting we're not doing harmful things to ourselves you know the structure is another corner and in also here is just making sure you stay on top of your treatment which you all are and those are the four corners and if you lose one of them which is what happened to me this past summer when my dog passed away it wasn't cali's passing away it was that because that's what got me kind of out of that really sunken hole and again this last summer because not this summer but last summer because that's where i found myself going and what i did was i made myself get out of the house i went to the light prarie i had to recreate and when you said in the morning you get up and you have that routine even somebody that's not leaving the house let's say let's just say whatever their health issues got them trapped at home they can still create structure through creating their routines or you know and it's set your watch your clock you get up at a certain time you eat at a certain i have you you can to do those things even if you move from the bed to the charity a certain time but this has to kind of we have to have the foundation and here's what i said to other people cuz certainly for me my medication is part of my recovery and wellness that if you're not doing medication i once for somebody then you better be doing meditation ha ha ha right right i heard a gentleman from the army hospital down where they have a lot of the vets come back with p t s d down south and he did a workshop and he said listen if you're not using medication then you better be using meditation oh just because again the anxiety that can go along with health issues right it it can and that's what it's going to help with right now guess what the next one is the next code believe it or not no what would you think yeah right and and the secret about this ok so then do this with you ladies but here's what i did i have to tell you it was great i learned this lesson from jack canfield and i borrowed so what i did was before i even started speaking i actually took my book stress mastery and i put twenty dollars in it and i said to people all right so before we get started i have a copy of my book here you know who wants it and i stood there for a little while and i had to ask again who wants it and i was about to say well nobody so i rehearsed it both ways did somebody come to somebody's not come finally somebody got up and and that was what i wanted because here was his point with this and so i asked everybody and he did this in a workshop i said every raise your hands everybody else will raise your hands if you want it i think ok now what stops you from coming to get in what stops you from getting it because he we it we have to do more than want we can't just want well this we can't just want stuff in our life we actually have to do in order to make it happen and of course people said fear idea or look funny all the things that stop us in life right oh i was too embarrassed but i think i could yeah i do want to get more out of people and that's exactly you know and it was really for me it was a very important life lesson i learned from jackie and feel because i sat in my chair i he had a hundred dollar bill in his book you know and i sat there and one woman got up and went you know he didn't even have to  fear right yeah yeah yeah i was paranoid fear i mean so for me the life lesson was is it if you want something you have to do something to get it which brings me to words because  well it's direct opportunity so it we must do in order again because the thing is this is it if i were to trying so in life we either do it or we don't and the do will we get to put our hands on the steering wheel and figure out where it is that we want to go and his one other word that start i felt a little like i was given you all a little bit you know because we were talking about stuff we've talked about but for me it's really the context of the combination that we have to use all three together if we really want to unlock well this year then and so this is a critical task i guess i should do this really is our a b c s simply the a b c s of wellness and that we have to make a choice with our attitude you ladies i know both of you are dealing with pain you know and he could let that choose for you or you could actually say no i'm not going to let us hope and what you talked about about not talking to rehash and that is so critical now social critical and the one thing i want to leave it at least a coping tool is the dump box because i think even for somebody who's dealing with pain issues or dealing with the stress of current health issues is finding a way to a loss and they have to keep or somebody is some an accident they have to keep telling everybody because they have to yell yeah that's i mean that's a good you know what i'm the kind of person that i prefer not to talk to people like that and would to send them a card and just say i'm here for you want to talk because i think when we put people in that situation for that may just throws gasoline on now irish wow  and so it's kind of how can i help somebody that i mean or acting with someone right all right don't box down because the other really good way to use this is it night when your brain is racing and it won't let you go to sleep you know it just go on over and over and over so you get up you go in another room you can't do it where you're sleeping at even if you could turn the light on you go in another room dump it over there and then when you come back use your sleeps cent kind of interfere with your sleep so here's what i have for you ladies and i'll put this up as a handout so people have that but you have your own little quarters in fact here take two one for your refrigerator and one for somewhere scrape and then on the back side is that little definition so and i know which are they similar but it's really probably what you to live with it least being able to