hi i'm tom callahan and welcome to all the seniors the show where we discuss elder care issues senior resources and careers you're going to hear a lot about term compassion fatigue compassion fatigue or secondary traumatic stress syndrome is a topic that you're going to see a lot of people focusing a lot of care issues on lately compassion bt can affect the caregiver and the quality of care being given today we're going to discuss how it affects people and one measure of how to counteract it my guests today are plain and tracy scott from the sanctuary of said best seeds in colorado blaine welcome to only you tom great to be with you today so tell me a little about the century that said best deeds to get started we're looking at it in western colorado and this past deeds exist to help wild horses who have been captured or brought in from the wild and it's an advocacy program that we work with other organizations they proved to help the horses be gentle and socialized adopted and placed there for their no longer having to this small crowded carousal holding facilities instead they get to find a new freedom a new family and a new familiar way of life wild horses left to their home out in the wild live in complex family systems in which the complexity is when we as caregivers personnel or professionals in the health care system tend to get involved with people that we are caring for first responders doctors nurses cle counselors and when we are caring for others in our family or our clients we tend to companion they're in their suffering when we bear witness and imput the to their suffering time and time again mental emotional social or spiritual suffering then we can give worn down and stressed out we eventually can be even burnt out so compassion fatigue is are those exhausting symptoms that we experience as we continue to give ourselves to someone who really love or clients and people that we work with so it's almost as if somebody runs out of the ability to care or it's almost if they become desensitized right our empathy taint runs out of juice and so we can no longer have the reserves of ourselves to shed a tear or have a heart attacks to be moved by somebody else's hardship we're just simply drained of that ability up playing you speak to plough you speak as though you have experience with this have you yourself experienced compassion fatigue yes i have on a number of occasions i have served as a clue in the united methodist the nomination and there was one spring tom that between january and march i had sixteen parishioners pass away with that meat was that there was a that an average of one per week and then when i was dealing with a family and supporting them through the water services and the grief process i didn't have time to recover from my own personal loss and for their grievous loss as well and therefore i really got down and out distressed my wife as well tracey had a very difficult time with it because we lived together and because she knew all of these folks who had passed away as well now when you were going through this did you realise what you were going through or was a something you realized afterwards group question because compassion fatigue is really hidden underneath a lot of other symptoms i thought well you know work is busy and it's exhausting i just need to pull myself out of the proverbial bootstraps and keep going then then i wondered if i was depressed circumstantial depression can happen but it wasn't really losing much sleep and i was continuing to exercise and so was in the midst of exploring it of my own for my own self awareness and a counsellor and a spiritual director is helpful that it was able to really understand oh my goodness this is called compassion fatigue that's secondary trauma that we experience we give pain of ourselves to others who are going through suffering in very difficult times how did you how were you able to heal yourself or what help did you seek right exactly a counsellor help spiritual direction help and literally living instance as the sanctuary where i got to be with horses horses only know how to live in the present moment they don't worry about the past or fret about the future and therefore i was able to groom them my wife coaxed me through sessions of the one of the session work what do you do how to tell us more you back you back when we agree to find a way to have the horses facilitate a coaching session with an individual or group if we can do this work with multiple types of people who are groups of people the general idea is that the horse will help us move through some of the things that we're feeling and experiencing and getting in in our bodies while we work with the horses the beginning of a session really is a little bit of classroom work so that we can understand the language of authenticity of ruins and what that means for the horse and then for us as individuals interacting with the hordes our participants learn about being safe around the horse so that everyone is church we're protected and then we do to work that helps this be in the body so often when we are caring for people or just living life we end up in the next appointment before we've even left the house for it that's not being present in her body it's horses don't care for that they will move away from us in the not nonjudgmental way but we're not to growing it we're not present the horses you're not safe i'm going over here so how does how do you bring somebody back into the present so that the horse comes back yeah true sort of then we talk more about what's happening for that person what are you feeling in your body and what's coming out of your mouth is for the families tomorrow and with what we're saying or are they different and if it's different on the inside then it is on the outside does when the horse feels into your hands and the lack of safety all those things just rest of our bodies and the horse responds to that when we're to go into its face and they want to be back in our presence so learns things about ourselves when someone greets us and we feel it in our body is how we get the horse to say hey you're safe again and i will become so basically there is something to that old praise up horse sense yes absolutely absolutely and when we can be sensible like horses which use their bodies for their communication way more than they ever use their horses like us with the left remain focused horses will give away their position to the predator if they use their voice as much as we did so they it and they move about just fine body and she now by the horse moving away that gives you the idea that somebody is not there too much in their head i guess you could say i guess what you do is you really bring it out of them to address those issues that they're facing and then the horse comes back to them so it's positive energy bringing positive energy back to it i guess yes yes that's a really good way to describe a time when we're being real with ourselves it's not about who likes us or who doesn't or who wants to be talked over who wants to be the biggest servant of the of all the servants it doesn't matter as long horses guarding wounded healers in their journey beyond pity what are they you know a session you said this classroom work in the morning and then you're working with them i mean let's put this way a horse is a big out of all you know i'm sure perspective because we are also predator creatures they see us as big and powerful and could squash them if we wanted to as well everybody being present in the moment i don't believe that the be honest about fear or anxiety or any of those things that would help that the worst feel safe also shows us that we are safe and we can all be together again and it's a safety issue for the horse and  when we exude safety by being real and authentic about our feelings and not the i'm going to say what you want to hear kind of balance you everyone does better and everyone benefits ok what kinds of groups to the horses help with you know tom compassion fatigue affects both caregivers and families as one of those the professionals in the industry as i mentioned earlier even animal veterinarian as well as counselors and medical personnel and so one of our passengers steadfast deeds is to work with we call them shake it off scimitars with employee teams don't wait as a team of employees that can cooperate more than they compete if they can watch out for one another rather than watch out for their own back and that's a herd mentality and therefore the horse tends to work with a intergenerational family or groups of employees because of the herd impact and that way their employees and caregivers can learn new the cavalier that we teach them techniques and tools to not only recover from compassion but al resiliency to it so that when they're back in the workplace or back in the home settings if one member says to another hey how are you doing if you have a chance to graze lately that will mean just being going to the local store doing that food  simply it really means do you feel safe enough to feed yourself where you're hungry and where you're herded and therefore you build up your energy container horses in the wild live always in the top half of their container because they don't build a moment's notice if they might have to fight or freeze for hours at a time in order to ward off a predator and therefore they always live in the top half of their container as we are invited to live and that's one of the great ways that we have come our city so it sounds like you know when people are so in the midst of a caregiving situation that they are forgetting to they're going to take care of themselves you know and they're getting worn out it sounds like when they come to the sanctuary that not only would they find sanctuary in this case but they would also be able to feed what they need to relax to let go maybe to address any latent feelings that they're having any fears that they're having certainly that gets addressed right away how long does a session take depends on if working with an individual or if we're working with a group typically an hour or two with the actual horse i do like to do follow up work often times things are uncovered that individuals and or group dynamics were not aware of before the entire divorce and the interaction with the individuals and for groups i'm thinking because a lot of time somebody who has been through a long illness with a loved one especially if it's a drawn out illness i'm sure that they just get to plead it would this be something that would work with grief counseling as well absolutely absolutely the horse because the horse is the horse in response to life but it consists of he didn't see any group or any individual would benefit from especially with the horse definitely people who are grieving and gives an opportunity to move through their grief and know that they're doing it authentically oftentimes we  upset and we don't know why and we might be upset with an individual and they don't know why so being able to address those things and get them out in the open so that they can be felt and moved it's excellent with the horse one of the experiences that we find time is that when two legged persons work with a four legged animal the walls of the posturing in the defensiveness go down and therefore they don't need to disassociate were displace their grief instead they just get to wrap their arms around this nine hundred pound strong capable animal and we leap in the main and let the tears flow and the horse completely accept them just as they are with no hidden agendas so in that way the healing comes exponentially faster than when i as a pastor have to work with people and talk based therapies or grief counseling could you give us some examples of how this has helped an individual could you take us through a story perhaps of something that's happened you know i received a phone call a couple of months ago from a woman who was in distress clearly she was in compassion fatigue she did not shower for several days when i met with her she was one of no makeup and a baseball cap she was so worried about her mother who recently diagnosed with mild dementia she and her sisters thought maybe they were going to have to ask mom to leave her home definitely stop driving mom didn't want any of that she was still living independently in her home by herself so i entered in with the family which we did in home assessment together and then together with a method distance as these have developed we walked to the family through a process very quickly but we were not in her and in a very short amount of time they were able to move from their toto conflicts about when needed to have the next in order to move shoulder to shoulder and cooperation to do go a purpose statement from mom and for the best quality of living at her best care available and therefore we helped them find the resources part of that needed that alone the process of me as a senior care family guy helping them find all the resources they needed they were able to come up to the horse and she wary and have a wonderful session with one of the horses tracer we tell us about what that looked like when they got here what he did with them and serve they chose the horse actually the horse chooses them that they are to supreme in the choosing of the horse and the women were very excited to see that one of those horses got up from the down to come and interact with to around ten area is a container that we call the discovery and it's women went inside with the horse and the grow energy between them and the horse walked away and they kept talking you know i mentioned did you notice that the horse like the way they did it and then they were kind of surprised because they were so deep in this conversation with one another then they started to notice some energy between them exchanging it was a lot more emotional a lot more connects you know and there were cheers induces that you start to flow the first team back we talked a little bit more in the neck continued a relationship with him for a couple more sessions in town in the mother's home what i found in my follow up was that mom in the midst of her diagnosis and in their very difficult challenges that they were a family completely remember who the horse was her name and the deeply meaningful experience and together these women made an amazing memory even while mom is losing herb's that's fantastic you must have so many stories like that it's just amazing what you're doing to combat compassion fatigue can you tell me tell me more about how we can get touch people who are probably suffering from compassion fatigue who don't realize that right now i hope they see this show and maybe see some signs but definitely what you're doing is a great thing to come back compassion and also to really give groups a chance to have that out i'm sure this will be a great thing for assisted living facilities skilled nursing homes home care companies hospice providers medical set anybody just to come to a facility like yours especially yours and work through some issues and really rejuvenate and refresh their staff it does it gives us great joy to offer hope and happiness to people who have been rea in words for solo right well plain in tracy to kota like to thank all of you for being on only seniors once again what's your web site w w w dot steadfast steeds my name's tom callahan look forward to seeing you again