in her life was ghost so energy she has absolutely complete i think control of her life and still being so busy she takes the time to take care of herself and that's what i want to share was you today how does esther does it on oh well come esther thank you thank you very nice thank you for having me that me a little bit about yourself well like you said i am a mother of three boys divorced mom you know it's you have to revamp yourself and that's one of the reasons why i ended up with you yet so i love what i do i am in the insurance business i do a lot of advice for small business owners and and then i take care of my my family and you have two business big you have one in newark and then you decided to open one in princeton so are you managing those two looking to locations we do insurance and we also do few years ago and saw your role in the clinical trial my first question to you is what prompted you to decide to come and work with me so i had lost some weight so so everybody knows about the economy change and we have i have had a business for nineteen years and when the business went up my weight went up more busy making much more money and it was fantastic and a lot of staff in a lot of stress and i started to gain a lot of weight i was always very slim most of my life and then i gained tons and tons of weight after having children and you know being a mother all of us stuff you do gain weight but it was really the boom of the business and then when time i looked at myself instead of k now you have to make that shift of really losing the pounds that you want to on purpose you know with with with purpose and and know how to do it well and so i've always worked out and i was i moved here to princeton five years ago and i started to go to orange theory and going to different and nothing was happening and i said i don't understand i played tennis i worked out and  fit and faster and better runner and all that but no weight loss so that's why and that oh when my friend told me about your trial that it had to do with learning how nutrition and the secrets that are behind trial what changed so the most important thing that i tell everyone when i share that i went to you is how do you know how to eat we think we know how to eat and everybody would tell you oh i know i know more  all i know i know more protein it's not just the vegetables and the protein it's the combination it's the knowing the frequency of time it's the hydration it's the knowing your how many nuts to eat and you know if you glass of wine what to eat before and it's it's the combo it's a combination of foods and and i did not know i don't know that i was totally in shock when i remember you were you were going through the food and telling us how how so i said oh my god i don't know how to eat and i don't know how to cook clean either so being in your program not only taught me how to do about what foot food does to your body and how fast it becomes fat but also it taught me how to look at different recipes so that i can learn how to cook different i mean today we i mean it's day and night in my home we welcome back to do so how busy women like you because even though i'm very blessed that you've even found the time to come here today how do you carve time for yourself and i know you are a cook and you are an excellent cook but it means you also shopping for food you are cooking for your kids  are running a business how do you england the gym how do you find the time to do this what what is it that you doing could inspire other women to see if i can do it you can do it too but here's the thing  when you're in an airplane and i'm going to use this as an example when you're in an airplane if you pay attention to the to the they tell you what to do in case of an emergency they always say put your mask on first so that you can help others and it's funny because as mothers we're trained to help others and then if there's time for us we're last and it's cultural it's ingrained in i don't care what culture you are it's almost we're all the same when it comes to that and it's  it's it's a bad advice and when i became single you know because i was married and when i went through my divorce and realised that i didn't take care of myself and now not only i was overweight i was emotionally broken and spiritually and the financial chaos it was just a big big emotional thing to go through i realised that i really had nothing i had this wonderful children and beautiful and you know wonderful business but i don't have nothing for me for just esther you know just me and i think and i said i have to take care of me if i don't if i don't put me in the calendar there will never be a me and then what if something else happens in life another another trauma another another challenge we all go through that right multiple times in our lives and so then i'm going to be empty again and so i decided that it was time to love me if time for me so self love is what i promote now because if you don't love yourself no one else can and if you don't take care of yourself you know my boys i have to was already moved out of the house i live with my youngest who is now fifteen years old and i realise that if i don't marry again if i don't get involved in a relationship it's all on me i had to move by myself when we moved here i had to carry furniture do all those things and i was overweight and i had a i didn't have a lot of strength and i said what's going to happen if something else happens and i don't i don't i can't take care of myself so i decided to you know take care of me now so that later on in my sixty's and seventy's i'm in good shape and that i don't have to rely on anyone if i'm in a relationship fantastic but if i'm not i don't have any want to tell her of me i'm i'm strong enough to sustain myself so it was so five rule and you have to care by yourself gym from five forty five to six forty five and i do ten minutes in the sauna and just decompress come home make breakfast get my son ready for school drive him to school because i love doing that part just chatting in the car  by eight thirty and i really can i go at night i mean i have gone a couple of times at night to take my son because he wants to play basketball at the gym and you know so that i and then i do an extra class or whatever but what's more efficient for me is early in the morning and then this way i took care of me i meditated i prayed i did what i have to do for me i worked out all day and i'm ready for the day and eight thirty nine o'clock i'm dropping down named so that you are able to do everything i mean even moms who are home all day need to you know get kids to ready for school they need to also clean their house was closed and i have to do that as well so so i have to figure out why when it's when was it time for me  and i walk wake up early anyway so i said i might as well go to the gym ok what about cooking because i know cooking cooking you so very important when you first of all you like cooking i do it's something you do with your son i  t bonding right but how do you also find the time to do this so i five thirty am usually home between five thirty and six pm and i've already thought what i'm going to cook so when i  come home my son frank sits at the counter and he puts his music and you know i don't like this modern music but if you want to connect with your kid you got to find what where they get where they're going to be so it's his music and and yes sometimes music sometimes see he joins then and i make him cut you know and whatever he said you guys favorite but he's definitely sitting there putting music and doing his homework and we're chatting and i'm helping him with his homework and then thursday some sundays through thursday and then right inside get organized for a few days yes ok and i know that you change the way you eat what the change in the way you cook because you  you know like we used to think also fruit that which is a launch of onions tomato peppers and garlic and it's you know it's blended so you could buy frozen but it has a lot of sodium in taught me how to look at that and i was  got a lot of sodium so now i chop it and i blend it myself and i use it so there are certain things that i cook but now i do it more fresh ok i've never really fried food so i never had to change that but i do quinoa instead of rice i  cauliflower rice or broccoli rice the way i do a lot of roasted vegetables and for the season it's going to be phenomenal wonderful yes i do the roast of esha whatever's left over i have it as we thought there for the next morning as a breakfast or i just o sleep and i said and then i remember you said that in you know fifteen minutes things can become fat in your body i'm like for sure you know i just fall asleep you know so so it isn't that i don't eat rice ever so for the holidays it's very hard love it yet but you stay in control you just thought i picked a little bit and that's because i already know you know i really know it's very hard it's very hard to loose weight and it's very hard to tone of body that has been out otoh for a long time had accomplished this i know that you are pretty good at exercising so any tips you want to share or to how do you i'm not even sure you need to self motivate yourself because you look like you enjoy it one of the things we were in the beginning i said i was worried about what's going to happen to me you know i stay single and i see a lot of my friends who are now a little later in life and needs are a big issue and goals and it's and i have read that at the verse or cardio cardio so so i believe in diversifying so you diversify as much as you can so i have two classes that can combine cardio with weights that's part  exercising everything i almost yeah i exercise at least active for five days a week it's hard for me i mean i can gain weight very easily even cleaning even eating clean but if i missed my lunch if i i didn't eat my breakfast and eat a lunch and i had a dinner i gain weight it's i i'm in that body that needs to be fueled frequently so that its face you know burning other women don't need to do that feel like i need to have that crunch i'll take like two or three of those you know fiber and then oh if i just need to chew because i have a lot of work and so i have i have two businesses with nine ploy and thousands of clients so you could see the level of thinking is constant and sometimes i just need to chill and i'm a big sure and then i read that you actually can gain weight from the sugar of the gum and i don't want the one that doesn't have the flavor so now i have like not so i get cucumber and i do the crunchy the more the crunchy very little crunchy right and sometimes i cut my peppers and i and i just chew and i need that feeling i know it sounds crazy but it i need to chew it because it will accept me because i have a lot in my mind so and i need tough exercise because i have way too much energy for this eight like seriously like what people would die did i know that she loved hell but then you're like hyper all the time and that and you know so i went to a class i thought i was hyper the instructor is over sixty years old her body is to die if i can look like that  what was amazing is her high level and she made me work harder than ever she was in my face motivating me making me jump to go to the fraud you can do it and i was like everybody come on and she was doing it with me and or not because i know we as mothers or parents or you flowing we influence our kids whether the we don't realize it or not oh yeah we were the biggest so once again i would say that so for my older son who also struggles with with way  started to work out he does boxing now five days a week which he didn't have that discipline before it's you know we talked about the the fact that we all work out now more frequently when i was married i didn't work out know i maybe walled i biked a little bit but not this way the way i do it now and so so he works out a lot and then my my middle son gets a lot of russia so we talk about nutrition and you know things that he should implement in his food and take away so we have those conversations there are adults you know there are there are young young men out and then my little one because i cook the way i cook teaches instead friend i mean i've always been very careful with him because he is dyslexic so nutrition is important for the for the brain function and all that stuff and all the vitamins so he i've always been cautious with him but we've taken it to a whole different level i can't eat much more vegetables today that he ever did in the past and does he feel does he tell you he feels  tell me you know teachers are like oh you know all francisco is doing really well more focus or he's able to do this more efficient you know quickly whatever and i want you to ration yes that's very important we have and you know impact the fact i didn't attrition to lose weight but the nutrition also gave me that the ability to i mean i do multiple things at the same time when i'm in my office so i needed that nutrition that clean food instead of having to start to just made me sleepy and i was ineffective you know and good food is absolutely necessary to have a well functioning brain is you need to also feed your cells absolutely in your brain to have your little neurons firing they had to take blood not that long ago and the girl that took the bushies say a little bit about that i mean i on top of what she's doing and is helping other women other people what are you doing so i sit on the board of big brother big sister because it helps children who are struggling in school for different reasons you know family settings mother or father divorced or incarcerated or ill or living with grandparents so that it that to me is dear to my heart you know to be able to be part of an organization that helps children because that's that's a that's a huge desire future and then i donate time in different or nonprofit organizations helping small business owners and you know teaching talking and just being part of helping us business owner come in and because i also think that's important you know business owners changed the dynamic of a community right so i think about all this think about princeton right here if it is being have a downtown if all those and all business owners were in here we wouldn't have that cozy little town that we can go to that we love so much right so to me helping them helps the community so anything that i can do with the little bit i have because whatever i have i just want to share it and so so those are the things that i words i would say that it's so important that you have self love and in love you take care of yourself and you take care of yourself not only through nutrition now only through exercise but clearing the mine you know even spending time with yourself and your friends and your family just self love is important if you'd offer if you don't feel that you start to look for other things to fulfill or whether it's the wrong foods the wrong company the wrong guy the wrong the wrong the wrong the wrong all the wrong decisions so you have to start with love so that you don't you don't attract those negative things i'm not saying that i haven't been through some struggles going through a divorce was really difficult and going through a financial crisis when the economy crash and the business was falling apart and i don't know what to do i've been through that but that already passed so i'm not going to dwell on that done checked off move on so now what am i going to do for me today so what are you going to do for you today or what is in for me in this right we we don't always think this way so we're trained not to we're trained not to is always the kids that is that that was in for me and and one of the women i know said one day when i started to really focus on myself and put myself first i realized that i gained so much self confidence and energy and time in my life and you can get  better a giver better giver phenomena i mean let me tell you if i don't eat well and i do you exercise and i was still feeling sorry for myself for the things that happened in worried about what my fine and so th any have a wonderful happy and healthy day