the best day of your life and you know why because your listening to this show this show is already making your day for only a few seconds and you are already feeling better yeah and so doug is this the best day of your life right now know ok so today is not your best day of your do you remember your best day of your life yes you do remember i actually you know i do have a day that i consider the best day of my life really  that's very interesting it's not it's a weird weird we during the day it's a weird story on this best day of your life ok you were probably on jeopardy and you won a zillion dollars is that correct were probably marrying the most beautiful woman you would ever seen in the world is that correct that's it's closer but no i was breaking up with one of with a beautiful woman yeah very interesting so on the best day of your life yeah i bet i know where you were where you were home with your mom  you're listening to that tom and doug show hi everybody we're back and we're talking about the best day of doug's yeah and that happened when he was visiting his mom he was back for christmas he was in his thirty's all right so i had been not afraid to take it out on the people around her who dared to get close it up ok so this was the best so i had already tried to break up with her in early december and she had asked me for more time and even though i knew this was a bad decision how did she say that i mean a couple more weeks please give me if you were you know what we do what she had spent a year and a half of our relationship really holding me at arm's length yeah saying you really need a bad time and then because after a year and a half if you're not ever really let in that starts really undermining the relationship which is why i was now out so on the best day of your life you were at your mom's house and i will going out with this woman and i woke up in the morning and had it to our phone call fighting with her really yeah that was the best day of your life so that's how the day started out so it starts like that it must what does it go from there like you're getting your butt kicked somebody's taken your lunch money i will say one of the things that was very entertaining about this this particular ex girlfriend is that she failed to see the same things funny that i did when i would be making a joke or laughing at something she would say you think that's funny that's not funny you have no sense of humor and i'll tell you when something is funny and i found that pretty funny yeah i would find that funny too but that's the kind of joke that kind well i did my herself yeah anyhow so i woke up had this fight with her as you know now we're up to like nine am and so i had made plans and i want to come home to my parents house at christmas since my stepfather's minister i would now always have to go to church so right if i'm going to church i want to entertain myself so i always joined the choir ok the choir director an organist at this particular church was a retired professional musician named bill and not his real name except in this case and he's a really interesting guy and from the over the years you know i'd see him at things in there and it seemed you know like you know he'd be really interesting to talk to so he was in his like seventy seventy s ok and you were seventy thirtieth's you know seventy three and he didn't write me to lunch that day so that's coming up but i want enough of a flirt to know when someone is flirting with so you thought that this seventy seventy something year old guy was kind of interested in you it didn't really come so much directly to my conscious mind but it did occur to me that that probably was underlying some of this so with that as the cliffhanger will play a song  brownies they so coming back to my story here yes best day of my life lunchtime are supposed to go meet bill right and i know that there might be something kind of awkward you know as i say far as i know at this point in your life you have no interest in relationships with the guy this is true yeah it's true but after the fighting i sit i kind of journal for a while and then i find out that my aunt is coming into town with my four year old niece whom i've never met and she's coming at lunch time so i call it bill and i say oh i just found out that my niece is coming to town can we reschedule the lunch i'm sorry he said sure come by four thirty great my niece gets there she's delightful we just you know hang out together she leaves and i get ready to go over to bill's house and again you know i'm not really thinking this know well no they know that he's been married and was recently divorced to a woman and you know and so that's all they know and they think he's a good guy and he is so anyhow i go over to his house at four thirty and i drive up and there's someone else there and he's giving a voice lesson and he had forgotten there was his voice lessons casually so i said do you mind if i come back for dinner that's five six so i go home i don't remember what i did for the next hour or so but i go back at six that euphemism for something  know i really don't don't remember i come back at six and bill is cooking me this romantic dinner oh he's got like cattle lights and everything oh yeah and making it's beautiful dinner handmade everything you know it's fantastic and i'm looking at his record collection and it's an amazing collection and this guy you know he lets me pick out some music i pick out lambert and rick's and ross who writes their jazz singers with whom he's performed there is he was a backup singer he used to sing at the met he actually you know had this amazing musical career in the fifty's and sixty's and probably into the seventy's and but then the really interesting thing is that there's this new  so when we last heard this best day of your life story you were getting cooked a romantic dinner by a seventy three year old man and i'm about thirty years old yes and he clearly has some sort of romantic designs on yet not that clear but so he he's got this nudist magazine and he is featured in it and he's pretty fit for a seventy three year old guy and he always goes in the winters he was a snow bird he would go to this island carry a coup off the coast of brazil which apparently is a nudist island and he's well known there are apparently and so he's telling me the story that he might my parents had come over to his house once not too long ago and they saw this magazine there and of course they couldn't speak about it because they just kind of had to be all weirded out and you know they noticed that it was him yeah they did and they couldn't you know and they wouldn't speak about it right as was his elephant in the room that i can't even imagine my parents i totally can imagine their discomfort with this and i'm just thinking this is awesome so we sit on the couch he pours me some wine we're talking about music we're talking about all the things he did it you know and then we  go we have dinner it's beautiful romantic meal of pasta and i don't recall what but at a certain point i'm ready for the other shoe to drop right so i don't remember exactly what question i asked but to get him to tell me what he's after right right and he says you know i was always bisexual he said yes and you know he fell in love with his you know redheaded woman and been faithful with her for however long their marriage was and then she fell in love with another woman and left him and he said on the one hand i wanted to do something primal and on the other hand i so totally empathize with and he said any you know i've known you over these years coming in sing in the choir and you're cute and i like to make love to you all night long is not something you expect to hear from a seventy three year yeah and you know i said well you know that's very very nice bill thank you but you know i'm not gay and once i had put out the line right you know i just said ok you know then it was a free for all because now that now that is clearly established now he felt comfortable saying anything he wanted to do to me and it wasn't like get out now and then he said he was you know you say you've got no hips no i haven't bill but you've got a great ass thank you i'd like to see it well maybe someday  house my mom lives and on a mountain in rural new jersey i get up there and it's december i open the car door i step out and oh my god the stars are so bright and clear i've never seen  like this i rushed into the house it's midnight by now rushing the house and say hey guys come out he had to see the stars there you know when i called outside it's midnight so i take a lawn chair out i lay out i watch him for half an hour an hour and go in that's my best day of you that now ok why is it the best day of your life this is the best day of my life because it's a freaky weird day and lots of things that have happened that could have captured me right you have a  fight and then you're angry all day long but i wasn't as soon as the fight was done i was done fighting i've got this weird feeling that maybe i'm going to get propositioned by a seventy three year old man wright but i don't worry about it before i get there i don't sit there saying oh it's going to happen i don't worry i don't get tense and my cousin sure very little niece rose up or whatever and i'm just totally excited about seeing her and doing whatever it is i go over to bill's house and you know he wants me to feel wanted i felt wanted right he wants me to feel attractive i felt attractive you know says things to me i didn't really expect ever here and when i left i'm not sitting there saying oh my god what did i get out of or anything like that it's just the door open and there are stars oh my god stars i was present for every moment of that day no matter how angering or weird or delightful it was i didn't try to hold onto it i didn't worry about what was coming up next i didn't worry about what just happened to the next thing happened and i was there for is one of the only days i've actually been able to be present for every moment of my life and it's not because it was a delightful day it just was a weird day where i could have been captured but i never got captured by it i just was able to be in the moment that whole day it was my best day as day for me it was i need to live my life like this every day that was the end of my best day was this is how i should approach every day it's nothing to do with the content of the day other than the content was you know should have me should have knocked me off balance all day but it didn't now do you feel that that was a result of how you felt i cannot explain why that reappraisal of the day or noticing something about the day that's what made that such a great day for me was i wasn't sitting back observing the day i was just being in every moment of that day right but it's later looking back going wow how did i next week thank you