so what i have for you is a novel a work of fiction it's called april twenty thousand it's set in german form so each entry is a different day sometimes there's several entries on the same day the important thing to remember is this is a work of fiction any relation to actual events in actual humans is purely coincidental so don't take it personally unless you're the federal government a one percenter and you can take it personally you fall into those categories i don't have a lot of sympathy it's still fiction but it's about you second of april today i'm thinking about love poems a love poem written by a six year old is less likely to have words like eternal or forever and less likely to rely on the overwhelming romantic fantasies felt by fourteen year olds or twenty year olds youthful love poems count limitations because of the simple lack of daily experience month to month across decades will attempt to compose a love poem without the exaggeration and those all consuming fantasies which i myself had when i was a younger man perhaps a sixty year old is more honest  a twenty year old were no particular reason except a sixty year old has less so delusions that twenty year old sometimes my subject is two beautiful young women aged thirty and age twenty six my current lovers women who are more physically attractive than any women i have ever had sex with at any time in my life i did not have sex with such beautiful girls in my twenty's or thirty's or forty's in short these are the most lovely and sexually welcoming women i have ever known i notice i am amazed by the beauty of their faces i am at times speechless looking into their eyes and feeling at the innate beauty both internal and external the beauty of each woman the joy i feel is artistic as well as sexual sexual joy becomes a spontaneous result of cheerful and joyous unrestrained love gina and samantha i look at digital images of their faces their breas as a young man in my teens and twenties i only have images of nude women i would never meet those girls in playboy and penthouse the girls on cable television the age before the internet the age before digital dark ages that fact that lack of personal contact with beautiful new girls in my youth enhanced as my current joy with my current lovers the reader viewer will also notice the lack of reference to monogamy that is romantic and or sexual exclusivities some readers may consider any love poem without a sense of monogamy cannot truly be considered in love erotic poems may flirt with multiple partners but usually love poems are expected to promote and glorify monogamy both of my lovers have worked as prostitutes gina still does this makes any romantic notion of sexual purity or innocence pretty much meaningless as a sixt year old grown up i could care less in fact i prefer girl with some useful previous experience jean has diligent and skilled with the repetitive motions necessary and delightful when my cock is in your experience mouth for her it is not a source of pleasure at all though she feels a craftsman's pride in doing a job well not all girls are skillful in this specific work samantha's best skill is or ability to relax and completely immerse yourself in sexual pleasure the sexual pleasure of my tongue inside her she enjoys three four five orgasms as i thoroughly enjoy the repetitive action of my tongue and lips and the taste of her in the moments the moans her moans and her thrusting hips both girls squeeze and caress my balls with a skilled combination of tenderness and strength only possible because of their previous experience i find myself the joyful receiver of their previous experience with sexual pleasure in combination with their warm hearted generous personalities i find it resistible what more could a sixty year old man  at this point i will reveal a fact at first surprising to me perhaps even frightening to me i enjoy the pleasure gina brings to other men i imagine boys gushing cream inside her gushing cream in her mouth gushing cream in every joint and i feel safe knowing she requires all boys to wear condoms and at first i was shocked to admit this to myself admit that i would have sexual excitement knowing her interaction with other boys knowing i hold my new cock in her mouth i hold my new cock in her vagina and kiss her after other boys have orgasmed inside her before and after other boys have enjoyed her i enjoy here during the nine years i have known gina gina's probably sought over two hundred different cocks and held as many insider vagina some of those cocks were regular customers making the number of sexual encounters well too many to kill and irrelevant for most of the boys these orgasms were probably some of the best most satisfying orgasms of their lives particularly the older married men were geno most of these encounters were less meaningful than taking a pee it is her job nothing more or less than that she does it for the money samantha had a baby by some worthless black man some irresponsible loser bought the baby made her give up the hooker business she's worked the past three years as a waitress making tens of thousands of dollars less each year than she did as a hooker but she knew she could not be a hooker and be a good mom at the same time she is that just sort of a drastic change in income and in general she's much happier a much happier person than she used to be back then being an alcoholic made the demeaning moments of prostitution acceptable for gina it's heroin th the demeaning moments of prostitution acceptable after more than ten years as a hooker gina usually regrets each job just as a cab driver regards each job as devoid of any emotional reaction geno only gets emotional about the job if the pay is particularly good that he is eight hundred dollars for an hour's work instead of only two hundred or less jane i've learned the business facts both of the hooker business and the heroin business in the greater seattle area nothing to be proud of we here in the pacific northwest and i'm sure many major cities do just as much business in these professions as here here the business is usually good because of microsoft and boeing and other people who make good money the boys the boys with good jobs the boy gina considers to be her true love her boyfriend is currently in jail for selling drugs and i believe he is ok with her being a hooker as i am he's glad she's able to make money he promotes it or he did when he was out if we lived in an ideal world with ideal opportunities with an ideal system of economics with jobs for everyone i would bush both jean and samantha had spent the first decade of their business lives as internet designers or software engineers or paralegals but at sixty years old i'm completely accustom to the lack of equal opportunity in the united states of america and assume i'm still not accustom to the inherent economic slavery forced upon us forced upon us from you i'm glad those girls have been able to make any money at all some people or age can even do that and they have both survived the prostitution business and remain decent and loving humans whatever faults they may have the essential core of their personalities is tender and loving i noticed this about both of them the day i met them i consider this simple recognition of their inherent beauty to be classified under the term love at first sight i noticed i noticed something more than what they appeared to be my love has remained i become their best friends as well as their older lover let me introduce me to people i'm the step dad or the uncle from out of town i wish this little journal to be as truthful and accurate as possible so i'm compelled to say gina and some out that would not approve of me writing down these details of their lives nor the details of my relationship with each of them i would guess they would each feel betrayed by this act of writing it down back to writing these things down is in itself a betrayal of their privacy in addition both girls may feel hurt to learn my love for each of them my friendship with each of them is in most ways equal i do not love one more than the other neither woman has made any passionate declaration of love for me nor will they ever nor do i expect it nor do i care they consider me a loving helpful older friend and from time to time a reliable source of cash when they're desperate they learn to talk to me about money only when they're desperate it pisses me off however even at that distance as an older friend a useful friend each girl would wish girl would wish to be the sole focus of my affections neither wishes to feel in competition for my love or for my money while i understand their need for stability and trust and competence in my love in my generosity i cannot honestly choose one girl over another i'm greedy in that way i want both of them in my life i want to continue to have sex with both girls and enjoy the friendship and company of both girls this is entirely realistic since neither woman can consider me their boyfriend and never will and neither have any ambition towards romantic or a marriage like future or a boyfriend like future such a future is not possible to really i'm too old jane is not interested in such relation at all and samantha though she might have a passing thought a romantic notion in that direction samantha knows her extended ethiopian family would never welcome an old white guy as the lover the husband or even a close friend of the family i am twenty years older than her father of within our current social reality and accept the limitations of that reality i cannot predict or futures where my best guess is i will remain on the periphery of their lives because there is no other place for me within the realm of their imaginations so here's the low poll i simply call it what is possible at twenty five is not possible at sixty what is possible at sixty is not possible at twenty five i love you no less for the impossibility of thirty five years of history i find impossible to communicate your place and time more dangerous than mine and your age i never imagined you nor the ecstasy of your beauty at sixteen heart wide open clumsy throwing myself its sweet girls innocent girls from upper michigan all puzzled by my intense bursts waves torrents of inarticulate passion neither they nor i able to structure our longing towards any tangible goals sex for me at least still a wild mystery my eager twenties ambitious full of energy spontaneous and completely heartbreaking rushed into a bill or my thirties and my forties mostly desperate months trying to earn enough cash to pay my rent and my detailed history my life history is no longer relevant at all i was there now i'm here now you are here both of you two girls nude in my bed open friendly cheerful willing jean and samantha unique to the history of my scattered life joy i ache to share with women in my past all that joy i share with you both of you so the women of my past their loss is your game in truth i would have made most of those women in my past entirely miserable joy within specific limits no i will not be any official family approved mate i play a supporting role in the novel of your life for a decade in tell the romantic lead sweeps you into a structured storyline with deeper content or at least that's the work in progress i am no father to crisis and the lovely child and irresponsible black man made inside samantha and i draw no romantic response equal to the vietnamese drug dealer held in jail while holding a permanent place in gina's heart i do not aspire to be anyone other than myself those mensa repurpose i serve a purpose i am content to live in my useful place and time i neither expect nor require anything more than the immediate joy i feel guessing you holding in my arms with my body orgasmic my heart and my mind at peace because of your beauty your irrevocably all beauty impossibly perfect impossibly precise more a work of art than the cluster the whole lot on that one particular day it's kind of kicked off the whole month of april so within one lifetime sixty two hundred years the english language changes forms of expression change making it difficult to know what words in what order who best convey the truth the emotional and physical truth of love today i may clearly report my sincere desire with the following words gina and samantha i wish to share my orgasms with you i want to look into your eyes or hold you in my arms were were to tell you how much i love you as i gushed cream inside you that's an accurate report but that accurate report does not convey the tenderness and joy and love the shared love of the moment for them as well what a surprise booker's caring about  the historical circumstances of my life the fact of their experiences hooker's the history of their own emotional lives all that passed moments in time do not diminish the shared joy between you and me between me and my girls right now the present is always more relevant than the past the present is always more relevant than the future shared orgasms may or may not have lasting value sexes helped to create trust loyalty joy happiness honesty competence and love between us during the nine years i known gina and the five years i have known samantha sexes helped create actual love during those same years where the girls sex has been a reliable source of cash the orgasms of boys having a specific cash value and no value at all in creating anything more than a customer client business with repeat customers that business can be trusting and friendly and comfortable but for the girls their love is held in reserve a private place we highly value tenderness ninety nine point nine nine percent out of the eager voice cash in hand ready for an orgasm or two i don't hold anything in reserve i help support the advancement of their lives with love with cash with consistency and reliability as they attempt to create joyful stable lives in a world of brutal economic slavery i do what i can i do what is most helpful at any given moment to stabilize their lives to create continuity to create continuing trusts and joy between us i do it for them over a span of years but none of the other boys can do not with all that cash available to them the microsoft engineers the boeing engineers the investment bankers the  musicians i find i'm able to love gina and samantha as much as any man has ever loved a wife and my love has tangible results in their hearts and in their lives with me they still hold some love in reserve but some days i receive eighty percent or more eighty percent of their heart's honest joy prefer i noticed my love poem could not have been written by a happily married man or a person who believes the economics of our society does not represent the latest form of human slavery it is we live in a system of economic slavery happy people with good jobs able to pay all their bills and raise be happy children people in comfortable circumstances would most likely find my love life and my love home on important in their lives you know important in the graham forward motion western civilization democracy capitalism i do not assign any importance to my love it was important enough to write on paper that is