hi my name's carol ricard also known as america's wellness and bassett are and welcome to the well you show i want to introduce my co hosts i have angel torture buck who i call the pain detective and tell people where they can find  however so if this is your first time joining us really the well you show is designed to just be educational and bring tools that i taught for twenty five years to people in hospitals and so to kind of get beyond those walls and i don't sometimes let the ladies know what we're doing and i didn't i didn't today and it's one of my feet it's one my favorite group you guys this is one of my favorite yeah so i'm going to give them a sheet and i'm just going to take all three rolls it says narrator once upon a time to frog fell into a bucket of cream were supposed to all fall down one frog says i saw no way out and drowned the other frog says thrashed around trying to stay afloat flashing around and the narrator while after a while all the movement turned the cream into butter and this frog hopped out you never heard  i was just telling george what it was so let me explain to you how we're going to use this all right and again there's there's there's a work sheet but we're just going to kind of do it as we do on a big board and it's kind of nothing too bad but the idea behind this is did when i was working with my patients you know in mental health the depression anxiety gets in the way of people doing something and just seems so overwhelming so they kind of are like the first  where they don't say it's hopeless useless you give up and nothing to overwhelm yeah and yet then there are some people i've met who are more like the second frog who just say you know what he's going to do something just  something and so the idea of this is i like doing this because we would do it is a workshy and what it is is it it's about times in our lives because i know i'm guilty of it too there been times in my life where i had a problem and i didn't do anything about it and it got worse so i want to write three columns up here on the board one is did nothing and we're just going to kind about doing the show with you too it's really just generating ideas for people that they may not think about so even even what i want to ask you to do is think of people that you know or situation that you know that people have had problems and they haven't done anything about it and it got worse you know because i think the more ideas that we can kind of put up here it just helps people realize that they're not so alone  so i won't be of the first one it comes to the top of my head which is is really it's really a simple one quite honestly is i once had a ticket that i did not do anything about a parking ticket yeah a parking ticket in new hope pennsylvania and what would have been a twenty five dollar parking ticket turned into a one hundred twenty five dollars park because it just i did nothing and it got bigger him bigger and bigger i was going to that that's the first mccains my not not for me but my son and i was thinking the same thing you know surcharges and then they couldn't pay like the three hundred dollars surcharge so they did nothing and then that three hundred dollar surcharge on their driver's license turned into points thousand dollars like it  know what i would always share is i'd heard a long time ago the person from d m v and doing nothing when it comes to you know you he said even if you would just reach out to them and say listen i don't have the three hundred dollars talk about this credit card bills and and then you start getting the finance charges relate it's interesting you say that because again worked with people who were working and then were able to work finances got affected a lot and that was you know kind of so be honest if you ever take a bill and just put it in a drawer without even opening it in your life oh going to that snowball and my point with this is that if this is your feel like you don't have any money because you don't have money stops people a lot of times for doing something when you need money to do something but here's the trick even contacting them so aren't you have patients contact a credit card company say they were currently under a doctor's care they were unable to work and could they work with them you know so that one it didn't go bad on the credit but it was about just even effort right because then because otherwise you know when people aren't talking to each other there's resentment or you know they just kind of formality of like ok now it goes to the collection  i'm doing something about it just my own something i'm doing so my washer is wired it kind of backs up into the soap dish yeah and so we know that means it's something you know like something's not right so you know i wash my clothes i open up the little thing after the wash depends on what cycle it is and then i take one of those  forty dollar repair becomes a thousand dollar repair if it over floods it overflowed and then goes to the floor and just like yeah so guess that's my sign to ok from to you from everybody i'm saying i and getting away from things i can actually think back in my life where i had a roommate and just we had a disagreement and i did nothing you know to resolve the disagreement and it just seemed like because i can see how sometimes to end and doing nothing is even even what we were talking about earlier because you know honestly you know letting people know that there's no toilet paper in a bathroom or what you had share about kind of saying to somebody the book you know it really that it's knowing something now now could do nothing but it really then leaves it maybe not so it hurts you but hurt somebody else do you know he would have lost a patient yeah and here's here's i don't think i've ever given you guys this word i want to write because there's a word that just popped into my mind and i actually do share it when i come back to that but it's what i like is is a very asian only increasing difficulties because when we do it i promise you ninety nine point nine percent of the time avoiding is going to make anything more difficult even just saying something then the anxiety even if you avoid saying something the anxiety starts to the build and it's like then you might say the wrong thing but yes this is this is not a healthy coping tool it really is and it's kind of what right honestly i've been doing with my washer you know kind of what i did with the ticket which is that out of voiding all right got any others we got to just throw up here because we'll move on to the next c you know what i just thought of another one and i was guilty of it are we going to have some like you who is overgrown yeah finally this weekend i spent like hours out there and now it looks like a house again but honestly the the grass you know grows up to this high and just oh yeah so now i want you to think about a time in your life or even again using other people's where there was a situation and you did something about it and it health is kind of all stuff yeah you know yeah if it's you know the so for me the blood pressure you know you just don't want to follow up on it but you push yourself to do it and actually is better you know not great maybe but i think people usually put it off like i'm going to feel better tomorrow or you know i they see you know oh it's it's just cold or whatever it is just you know i don't want to see if i'm overreacting yeah you know what good would overreact it better to be safe than sorry is a way kind of like they were all shaped by our life experiences too and that might be you know what what it was i will also say this it's been in both categories so yeah yeah you know the times when i've said i think i better get this checked it was it saved me you know you have strained it breaks down on the road or something like that i'm going to say something got better communication pretty sample maybe you harbor some resentment or perceptions that something is going on it's really not going on but you're not communicating so once you start communicating it's like well it really wasn't what i thought it was he had he had no i think that's a great i think that's a really good one because i think sometimes people who don't know what to say don't even want to put it on the table but and we've also done some great shows all communicate and so if somebody is needing that go look at some of our other shows because we've given really simple steps oh i've thought about the health of at least jocks people's thing well ok so let's well it's hell but it's a dog you know something related to the dog we're like somebody else would say just put the dog down or you know and like wait a minute let me try yeah calling the vet and seeing if there's something yeah yeah and so yeah yeah well and i think that's a whole another show what other people think oh ok or you know well and i'm going to say i'm thinking of another kind of big category here you guys floods is i can actually think actually put week we've got it in the right color here i can think of times when i did nothing it work settings to you know where i was maybe pissed at people weren't doing their jobs and we were assigned and so i didn't say anything and i did nothing and then working in mental health it was pretty embarrassing but i was so grateful so here's how i had a coworker carol can i talk to you and i was like yeah sure and only been on the job maybe about a month so i didn't really know her that well and she said  a habit of talking with touching people when you talk to them and she said his as she said it she says i don't know if you're aware of this is you have a habit of touching people when you talk to them and then the next words out of her mouth were and i don't like to be touched and i was like wait i was like i felt so embarrassed she patient no was a staff it was one of my a problem that problem was me and she did something because so then you became more aware of it so that we're going to tell you what she probably saved my life because if i had if she had never told me that and i had been around patien and i had done that it happened to me one time so i'm digressing a minute so i called the patient three times in his side his back to his to me for the nurses and i did this and he turned around and i was like i don't know if i can say oh shit you know like that and income to find out later you know he was a vietnam vet and i invaded his perjury right and with her the same with her found out later she had a pretty significant trauma history and so i want to appreciate it but ever since then those are the words i use and i say even to patients or staff i'll say i don't know if you're aware of this and then you don't put in any judgment you just put in what the facts are she didn't say right you know or you know i know i have she said i don't know if you're aware of this she said but what she did see get in there you have but it was a behavior inference you know like well when you're mad you do this that won't work you know and you know you could say carol when you're you know i notice sometimes that you talk down to patients or you sound as though it seems as though and i thought it tell you that was that that changed my life and i'm so grateful to her and i probably would have gotten really really her advice if if and even when i do training in the hospital i'm always respectful of all right so you get a few minutes left i just want to brainstorm a little bit on it now yeah do you all have any situation sort of know people around you that have some so i guess what i put my washer up there ok because truthfully if it was some things that i could fix simply i could save myself to my a o l and actually to the first i think you two better be the first day yeah do not  i gotta tell you i've come to appreciate you tube and a way of when i broke the generator thing that was how i found out how to fix it now so i'm having no power and needing it was really important  so the the master prepares goes out bring somebody in just like that after months of it costs a lot more because we waited so long but i said it in a nice way oh you know we're having this visit would be nice to have yet another person's coming with the person you know like kind of like networking but like you know you're talking to a friend on the phone or you know you'd be surprised other people might have experienced something similar and yeah and give you an answer ok you know sheriff shar is in pennsylvania and there was a problem with it and i called my and neighbor who she she just tackles everything she has animal farm animals and she looked it up because we didn't have we don't  show well i'm just going to put just to capture what you're doing is just the steps because it seems like you're more than one step but you know the other thing that you've done with your needs to honestly is you you've done some research like you've looked into dr wright you really plan and i think again you that's what you told me to do when you took now you don't go to you tube looking for your call or research or are just educated and you know which is going to the library we're even using the computer to come and see what it is you know what what's out there and you can get your hands on scholarly things right from yeah here yeah right i mean you can google how to do it how are things you deserve a reason to see what some of the research is showing like all right so what is the best sorts of kind of stuff like that that's really cool i never actually never thought about that before and the and the other thing about doing now is like you talk about weeding and you know how much property i have so seven getting overwhelmed and and not too many americans i did after all it's like ok i'm just going to do a little bit at a time i think that's a really important thing is when something's really big is just to break it down do something now and that's what i did with reading to like let me just do what i can do i get done i get done but at least i got a third of it done y just walked away just to we can is the whole idea of today's show is it we have situations and problems and you do nothing it is here pay a bigger price and it gets worse and doing something and then we had some pretty good ideas so what i'll do is what we came up with and put that up so people can have access to that so so believe it or not we're out of time so thank you ladies again and here's to living well today