hello and welcome to the army up close and personal i'm your host venus and i'm here to help you through this musical dance we call life and to do that you know i always bring on wonderful people in our community to help us make it through they give us tips to help us make it through today as you can see i have no paddles and i have a different set up i got a sixty second desk here because i'm going to talk to you about a new segment that we're introducing today and just like music you know life has ups and downs sometimes you said sometimes you're happy sometimes you're depressed sometimes you just don't know what you are but it's not good sometimes life is moving fast sometimes life is moving slow and when that happens you need to stop the music or the music has stopped let me give an example i have a friend whose mother just passed and i'm praying for her or her the music has stopped i have a friend whose husband died i'm praying for her the music is that maybe you have a parent or a child who's suffering from cancer or who's suffering from epilepsy or whatever affliction someone in your family may have for you the music has stopped and so we have to address that sometimes you may just be living you feel like you're living in peril you lost your job you are losing your house or your apartment you feel like you're going to be in the street whatever the case may be for you the music has  so i want to address two of those issues one being unemployment and we're going to come back to that and one being depression and we're going to going to come back to that number one eye glasses because you know i can see without my glasses so remember when i was  i had a blog and i was allowed to talk about anything that i wanted to talk about and give my opinion so what's going to happen in this segment of the r and b b stroh whenever i do this segment is i'm either going to being bring on professionals in the area to give their professional opinion or i'm going to give you my opinion and it's professional and it's my opinion because it's my professional opinion ok but anyway back to the blog so on the blog i talked about whatever i wanted to i reviewed situation that books music people whatever and i gave you my opinion a lot that i gave you the facts and then i gave you my opinion about the facts and i ended that each section with saying i'm just saying it is my opinion so in this new segment called stop the music i'm going to be giving you my opinion and bringing on people when i can all right so today i'm going to talk about job there's i said that well before we go to that let me go back to my opinion for a minute i could be standing in a department store or i could be in the line at a grocery store  i could be standing at a bus stop or train station and people will come up to me and start telling me their life story and asking me my opinion is this was think i could this month but you know i pour into them according to whatever their situation is that they share with me i must have something written across my face this is talk to me i can help you maybe that's why i'm a talk show host i don't know but in either case it gives me the license to give you my opinion so let me tell you how the first one came up and i hope we have time because i'm just going to touch on that i'm just going to delve into them i'm not going to go deeply into them and we're going to bring back the two people that i mentioned later that caused me to want to do this and to stop the music and to talk about other things because you know the art is wonderful but it's not our entire life it affects our lives let's go back to that with music on a musical person so i could think of a song that goes to any and every situation a little if i could think of a song let me take you back for a minute the miracles just started after smokey there was a cd your album back then if i had the album i do at home back and find it i would bring it in you because i still have it and it was a song on there called don't let it into you let it begin i know some of you out there know that song i love that song let me tell you how music relates so there was a fire in the building and my sister and i had just got brand new coats and everybody's running out and we're meeting outside in front of the fire truck while they go and try to put out the fire luckily nobody got hurt it wasn't bad she has on her brand new leather coat i had a brand leather coat do but i left my leather co upstairs and i had this album because that song don't let it in to you let it begin had certain significance for me you would think it would be the leather coat but she says where is your coat like is that's there why you got that album because that's how much music touch me so in everything in life i can remember what songs touch me you can probably remember what was happening when a particular song came when you got that my jam i know that's aung so life relates to music with its highs its lows and right now for somebody maybe low because they may be unemployed and i was off facebook one day last week and you know we go on facebook and we look around at things and stuff and a friend of mine was on facebook talking about a job fair that he had just put together and that it was a wonderful success we're going to come back to that it was a wonderful success and i said to him on facebook that's great i'm glad you're doing something for the community helping them get jobs and  would love to partner with you with our b b show so we can help people get jobs and i said to him so how many people got jobs he didn't answer me that got me upset because unfortunately i've been in that situation many times where i haven't had a job in corporate america no doubt so now you know i have two careers i have a corporate america career and i have an entertainment career and i can tell you everything because i'm writing a book and i want you to buy the book and read it but any other case in my corporate america career i have been out there on that unemployment my looking and trying to get a job at job fairs and so since he didn't answer me i saw him a church we go to the same church and again i'm going t you he's going to come on the show and then introduce you to him but in either case we had a conversation at church and i said to him so how many people got jobs you didn't answer me on facebook and he said well i didn't see that and i don't know but i said wait a minute how could it have been a success when you don't know how many people got jobs aren't job fairs for people to get jobs not here again this is my opinion of what i thought all my life the job fairs were for people to get jobs but let me tell you in my opinion they don't work i don't like them and i want to qualify that so on facebook i did a survey and i x people have you ever gone to a job fair have you ever gotten a job and some people said oh well it's networking it's a good networking vehicle yes it is and they said but i never got a job or i don't go to them or i don't like them and i had more cons then i had p so that kind of fuel me a little bit more so let me stop for a minute and give you a positive thing about the job first ok i was also driving downtown you know around town new brunswick and woodbridge and i saw a restaurant i'm not going to mention the restaurant name until they sponsor the show but in either case there was a new restaurant coming up or opening up and they had this triangular sign about a job fair there at that restaurant now that's a specific company specific job there those probably work why because they're going to be hiring for bartenders because it was a sports bar bartenders waitresses waiters cooks managers now they may hire for the managers or they may already have people in mind for those manager position so people who come in looking for manager spots there and again this is my opinion i'm just saying they may not get a job at that job fair but all those other folks will probably get a job at that job because it's company specific those will probably work company specific in my opinion those will work ok and then there are specific age groups that will probably get a job at job fairs company specific but if you do a mass job fair mass job fair and all kinds of companies come you may not get a job i'm not normally one to get a job let me take you back a few years ago i'm not going to get i'm not going to mention a particular place but i attended a job fair or a thousand people came to this job four thousand people came to this job fair one hundred fifty companies were at this job fair allegedly one person got a job to me that's not a success ok so you say and then it's well you're talking about all these bad things what about the good things happen we fix it that's what i want you to help me do the people who coordinated job fairs here's the benefit when the people coordinate a job there and they get interested candidates to come looking for jobs and they get companies come looking for jobs they are successful because that's what they set out to do the companies come there to tell you about their products and tell you about this services and get you interested that you know about them that's where they came there to do is a success for them but if you came there looking for a job and you didn't get a job it's not a success for you so again i x at the job fairs how many people get jobs maybe they should call them something else like i don't know open house app i don't know what as you call them you can tell me that to give me your opinion what should they call them but if no one's getting a job to me that's not a success so i aks my friend i said i want you to come in on the show and talk about it and he said he will so we're trying to work out his schedule you know trying to do a talk show with people schedule is very challenging but you gotta stick to it you know i'll just find a date i'll talk to my program executive director and find a date according to what your date is so you can come want to give your opinion because you know this show is about the community and i want to keep the commu involved talking about things we need to change when you have a vehicle to change things you need to use that vehicle to change things so he said to me i gave him all of my information my opinion about job fairs and he said the venus people network and you know the companies get names for when they are ready to hire ok that stopped me in my tracks maybe raise my eyebrows and i said that's nice for when they are ready to hire but what about the person who's there who lives are about to be turned off and they need a job whose house is in foreclosure and they need a job then there done that you coming to the job looking for people for when you're going to hire does not help that type of person in that type of position i have a problem with i had to ok and i tried to set up something that work with people to set it up where people with companies who had positions would come to a specific place with a specific amount of people to hire those people and i didn't want to leave unless they hired those people that's what i think the job they should be is my opinion i'm just saying but we have to think of another way because the way they're doing it in my opinion it's not working and i don't have a problem with you telling me that you know that's not correct venus because i don't know probably tell you i stand corrected i will stand corrected i'm one of those people where i will say  you i stand corrected a lot of people do that anyway so i don't like job this unless there are job specific and so my friend said to me i don't know how many people got a job he said but you know what opinion is that he said to me they don't tell me what you know what i'm going to go find out all right and i want to work with him and his office in the community and see what we can do because like i said i've been in that position too many times where you're out of work and you're looking you know when you're in the art you could be out of words all the time you could have very highs and you can have really really low and been there done that by the book about that too that's going to bring me to the next topic depression but i'm not going to talk about that yet i want to go back into this job theory thing and i was on facebook live earlier and when we do the show later on when we do this segment stop the music i'm going to have like us it experts in the feel come on and talk to us and tell us their expert opinion and see if they can work with us to change things there are all kinds of things that go on when people are unemployed sometimes you run out of unemployment money where they just stop it for a particular reason twenty six weeks is extended you go to school but it's going to stop when you finish the class if the classes that long enough and they stop your money and you still  job then what those things bother me they make you go i don't like that i want to hook up with folks who can help that motivation inspiration information and change if i want to change some things and i don't know why these things are put in my spirit but i guess i was born that way so what can i tell you anyway let's move on and so that's just one of the topics that will address they'll be all kinds of topics because life just happens and when things happen and those things bother me i'm going to stop the music and come here and talk to you about it all right so my friend i'm not going to tell you what his name is because i wanted to beat me up but he promised me he will come on the show and we will talk about it so lot dot com or you can go to the facebook page for the r b b show and send me a message there inbox me there so that we can take your concerns and so that i can look for the people that can make a change you know there's a lot of things and i don't get very political but there's a lot of things about our surrounding those type of things that haven't changed in thirty something years you know like they're either we'll talk about that in the time let's talk about depression i got to take a breath here depression let me give you the definition first of all they say it requires a medical diagnosis and we believe let me tell you why here's the definition the persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms these may include changes in sleep appetite energy level concentration daily behavior or self esteem depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide i must say that again because that's real important depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide you may know someone who's the press or has been depressed who exhibits those symptoms and yeah i'm not going to tell you you don't need a doctor to check it out you do need a doctor to check it out but if you see someone if you're feeling that way yourself then you know the something's wrong it might just be depression and i don't want you to press play with anything like that because depression is real i was just talking to someone a choir has a last night and i was asking her if she knew someone because i was going to try to get her to come on the show and talk about it but her schedule didn't permit it either but she said to me the first thing she said to me is depression is real venus as that i know now mattel you again because you know the guys know on the radio on t v or wherever i'm straightforward i'm real ok and i will get right in there with you then they're done that could write a book sometimes you have the pressing times you have depressing and when i say times it could be a day it could be a we could be a month it was going on that long you know you need help definitely but anyway depression kills and people miss the signs of depression people overlook the signs of depression sometimes people don't want to see the signs of depression so they ignore them again there's all kinds of causes and we talked about it when we talk about unemployment next why these things go together if you lose your job and you've been out of work for three months six months a year ten months two years five years trial eleven years you could be depressed ok you're losing everything you're losing your house you losing your apartment you could be depressed if somebody that was in your life goes away and you are so dependent on that person and they the go wake of a dad or they go away because  you left them or whatever the case may be there's all kinds of things that can cause depression what i want you to do is to recognize these things recognize that you're in that and sometimes it may not even be situations that cause it it might be a medical condition that's why you need to go seek medical help like i said i have an opinion but i'm not going to sit here and tell you you shouldn't go get medical help if things persist you really should go get medical in anything physical their process or mentally that persist you should go get them medical help so there are situations called bipolar or postpartum when people have babies right after women have babies sometimes they're really depressed and their husbands don't know how to deal with that they don't know what to do but i'm going to say this and i'm going to keep saying this depression hills other thing kills too but we're talking about depression depression kill and if you don't pay attention to the signs and to the symptoms if you don't watch them if you don't watch the people that you know your relatives or friends or children people kill themselves on facebook really come on somebody should have seen something going wrong in that person's life and i get emotional when i talk about this because it's real they've seen somebody going through some changes that were different from their normal behavior it could be avoided you have to listen to what people say now a lot of times when i bring you these things they're out of someone else i know member to everybody talk to me so they're things because people talk to me or maybe i went through it ok so that means i'm giving you first hand sex now i don't have any things behind me this is you know ten thousand or one point five whatever i don't have that ok i'm not affection and i decided i was going make up that things that happen to me or things happen to people or talk to me ok so you have to watch what people say to you let me give you an example of the qualities name either because you probably get mad at me i was at church the other day and i was feeling kind of down and people coming up to me a one particular guy came for me said how you doing and i said terrible and he kept walking and as i walked away from him i said he did not hear anything i said see him the other night and you know he is he watches the show i saw him last night and i told him about it he just went but he's still the next minute that sometimes people don't want to be bothered with your issue ok but this should be some friends there should be some family there should be somebody this should be a stranger this should be another challenge god that cares about what you said they're listening to what you said communication is a two way street you have to listen and speak you speak but you listen you can't have one without the other if you have a conversation you have to listen to what the person is saying though you can respond to what they're saying you've got to listen and people do give you signs and that's not my opinion that's a fact people give you signs they say things to you pay attention to their actions they act so in ways they do certain things and if they're not really talking to you x question you know and listen to the answers because sometimes those answers will sound all kind of crazy all kind of crazy i had a friend who's passed by rest or so and what i used to get in those moments when i was upset about something or depressed about whatever she would call me on the phone and i'm in the bed i don't want to get up sometimes i'm depressed and i don't want to get up and others lay in bed until it passes over like a cloud but she would call me and she would hear my voice she would hear the sound of my voice with me she's before the neighbors call the cops or something because she was that kind of person she was relentless she would not let me stay in that state and so i'm human so i'm going to tell you i do get depressed ok and i told you i had the opportunity unfortunate between to be unemployed to make you depressed so i can to tell people around me who are michael's people my confidence look for this look for that look for this kind of conversation look for this kind of non conversation and that will help you pull me back because sometimes people who are in depression or who are depressed bipolar the civically have a friend who is bipolar they need you to pull them back they can't do it themselves so you need to listen again to what they say you need to ax them questions you need to not allow them to be themselves because you you heard me say before the definition depression can cause suicide let's go back to the stars how many stars have died because a suicide there were signs that their family did not see the pression robyn williams so to name somebody recently off the top but anyway i'm going to bring in somebody to talk to us about depression in another segment when i decide to stop the music so this is part one of this particular segment of stop the music because i want to bring in my friend the assemblyman and i want to bring in my friend the doctor to talk about these two situations and what we can do to help people around them because remember i don't want to just bring you issues and problems i want to bring you some solutions that i can help bring ok because i think that's what got me here to do help bring some solutions so we're going to revisit that those two topics again when i bring those people in so now let me see we have a little bit more time before i close i want to tell you real quickly one thing that's been bothering me and i talked about it on twitter i have a twitter account going tell you what that is all of the shows on t v back to the art form and all the shows on t v that degrade women black women asian women whatever i don't like that either i don't like that no they're doing it for a paycheck find another paycheck don't like that can we do some good besides calling people names  to the beast role to talk about it there's a couple of the people in the ad just got the press kit from c c's assistant and they're coming over to talk about their new project and you know we go back to the regular format so i'm going to axe them for some tips for you out there who want to produce who want to write who want to make music and do what they do who want to be preachers like marcia who want to just do what they do you know that's the purpose of the show to bring you the that information now we want to take the army bistro out into the streets but we can do all kinds of things so we can catch people in their element x them questions there you know awesome to do that kind of like the radio we go out and  sponsor so we can do all kinds of things with the bistro i want to thank the sponsor the new sponsor that we just got covenant business cons that danny and will make d c as so appreciate you thank you for being our first sponsor they have sponsored this has been the on b b show up close and personal our new segment called stop the music past the word tell people bring your issues to me and if i feel like i got an opinion i'm going to give it to you you can find me on