and i'm really excited to introduce something new to you today we are starting a new initiative called the wellness project new jersey and it is going to be a single source for holistic health and wellness in the state of new jersey and we will tell you more about that crowley and i are here today my partner in crime will tell you more about that show in our next segment but today is the first episode of the war on this project new jersey and we are thrilled to have our guest very dear friend for many years author a clinical hypnotherapist and performance coach who just wrote an extraordinary new book limitless amy our very thank you so thrilled to have you say oh you're slated to talk about your new came to be and and what what we're talking about in this book that's wonderful i'm so grateful to be here let me start by saying thank you thank you to both of you and and any opportunity to talk about the book excites me because the information  so helpful has been helpful to me to my clients and now to be able to share it with a bigger audience is very exciting so it's true ten years in the making in this book i was a hairdresser was a hairdresser for most of my life twenty five years and then went through some life changes and i didn't really have the right coping skills i didn't quite know how to get through some dark times in my life and was introduced to meditation which begin to change things slightly and certainly  a curiosity in me as to how that could be right so after going to school learning some stuff about our brain i begin i began the practice of hypnosis which is really just about you know understanding how you think a little differently and how to manipulate and move things around so that you can perform or behave or think or feel a little differently yeah you know talk more about that because i think people that experienced be effective we know that it can be tell us a little bit more about what this what this is like with this right feels like i love that you know in the beginning of my career i got a lot of are you going to make me cluck like a chicken right and i and i cringe when i hear that although that is a thing that happens i suppose that's absolutely not what we're talking about right or hypnosis is a naturally occurring brain state we all enter into it we enter into it several times a day we really can't we really can't process information and think too deeply without entering into that so what i have learned to do is how to get in there to make sense of things better and i have learned now how to teach people how to get into their thoughts and kind of navigate through them in a way that allows them to feel more clear and more aware of what is in alignment with what they desire instead of what is in alignment with what they fear and where they don't want to be attracting right now yeah yeah because we talk about manifestation you feel you know how you think creates a new feeling right and when we're feeling a certain way we behave a certain way we attract certain situations in people and places and things to us and that creates for us our end game or result what we're actually experiencing so in life when things aren't going so well we can navigate by directing our thoughts in a very specific way yeah yeah yeah i think it's we talk about this all the time i mean  you know if you're trying to change behavior right it's not just a matter of what you do right it's so much more than that sure that's the piece you know if you're trying to even if you were trying to change your own behavior around something  the obvious ones like smoking or eating or what have you write it's really it's you know it goes so far back goes so far back you know people come to me for so many reasons for so many things physical  ailments emotional or mental situations interpersonal things business related things and to me it doesn't really matter what you're coming to me for it's all pretty much the same which is however you're thinking about it is hurting you and not helping you right and when you can adjust the thoughts about it that thing changes by default and that's very clear with someone for example that has an eating disorder like anorexia you know the world around them sees very clearly that they are are not getting enough nutrients and yet they can understand it because of the language going on in their brain right someone with stage fright who steps on stage to perform and is it exceptionally well that what they're doing may not have a great performance based on what's going on in their head and what they're saying to themselves a mother at home with their children may have a good or bad day based on how she's thinking and feeling about what's going on so it doesn't really matter what it is we're doing it's how it is we're doing it and i mean i crave that consistency around no i mean because i think that that's what you're saying and i believe that's probably you know what what  saying is that we have control we have control and the limitation is that this yes something that's the key part that is the key part and ironically we get more control when we let go of trying so desperately to hold on and control puts us in a very different kind of driver seat right laus us a very different kind of experience right right yeah yeah i remember you and i don't know if you want to i don't know if you want to share some stories in the book but  i remember there are several there was a story that you shared of the several years ago about a woman who and i can't remember if it was overeating or under eating right and she had something there and it's ok yeah tell us a little bit that because i think you know just hearing you even describe this i think people are suffering i mean it's why we're launching into this other one this initiative because people are suffering and they don't they don't even know why i have the courage and they certainly don't know how what next step yes it's so true it's so true and usually whatever we're suffering from is something that we put in our thoughts when we were nine ten eleven years old you know that things someone said to us in third grade we're fatter we're too ugly or we're too stupid just grew inside of us so then as an adult we're trying to perform and all we hear these voices saying really you think you can do that yeah so being able to become aware of that and then giving yourself permission to let that go and really step into what it is you want to be how it is you want to be how do you want to be feeling and how it is you want to be living yeah usually we try to a change attain the thing first and hope that that brings with it the feeling but very often people do attain the thing they meet the man they get married they get the job they graduate from the thing and they still feel unsatisfied so it's all about the internal thoughts and feelings and we absolutely have control over you say more about that because i always look at things i used to tell my kids this all the time like when things start going crazy in life you know whatever the circumstances are  kind of settling to your simple joys whether it was a cup of coffee and yes going out to the water and just sitting just settle into like some simple joys yes what do you kind of recommends like in terms of when you're saying get the feeling first that people did that yeah look around you right at this very moment and find something beautiful science find something interesting find something that makes you feel good or reminds you of something that feels good you think of something for a moment that you remember or you desire or you dream about think about that for one second because as you do you've broken you've broken that response of that cycle of sadness or anxiety or whatever it is and  not about taking it and removing it right away it's about how long have you been building that and how can you just break it up now so that you begin to feel joy and confidence and security more right and less right yeah right yeah no i mean i think you know i feel like that's the key that is leaky well it seems to be something that you can feel immediately what if anything for most people they need when they say you don't want to go through session after session or process after process and still say why am i feeling this way which we talked to a lot of people like that yes i think when you get that win and you feel that your voice it just shifts the energy it shifts your feeling and i think it gives people a lot more hope and says i want more of that yeah and opens up the possibility right you know the first time i meet with anyone my goal is to see if they are open to the possibility of feeling better because very often we're stuck in it we want something and yet we have these limitations put on ourselves and the world around us that it can't happen because it will never happen because and and that puts you in a pretty ugly situation right now yeah it's like grinding  gears or something exactly when we get so even think about it right we talk about the train wreck you can't look away from yes because as human beings we also get very cool travel with where we are going and if you're used to identifying with  and other types of real negative emotions you get really used to it yeah i know believe that it's part of the process and right the necessary process and it's not when i ask people can you imagine this process without the anxiety before before you step into the meeting without the anxiety before you step on stage without the anxiety you step into the room and that is like what do you mean what do you mean without the anxiety i don't love public speaking and we've had  and i've worked on it over the years and it used to be i kid you not weeks before weeks of yeah i don't even think of it and i would have him my stomach i would be doubled over i mean it was absolutely horrible and that very often that stuff happens very early in our life so we're not even aware of it as adults and the woman you were referring to that we spoke about last time and i have her and i have her in the book she she came to me for weight loss and she had tried everything her words that to to lose the weight and she at that point was in her i'm going to say fifty's forty's or fifty's and explain that the last time she was in her words physically fit and  beautiful was in her early twenty's so in in a session we did some hypnosis were allowed her just to imagine herself being beautiful again and when was the last time she was beautiful and she went back in her thoughts because again in hypnosis you can just be more clear and see through all of the noise in her head so as she went back she realized that she had this one moment where she was in her early twenty's and she was in the airport and she ran into an old friend who saw her and spun her around like she was the most beautiful thing she had a dress on she said it was like in the movie it was such a great moment and then she said to me the strange thing is not only was that my best day but it was my worst day and when i asked her what she meant by that she said that well when she got on the plane in a rived in washington that night she was raped in her hotel room oh yeah now she had gotten help with the rape she says you know dealt with that but never did she put together that in her mind feeling beautiful and desirable meant being at high risk yes so it was like her brain was helping her by preventing her from ever looking that way again because if she did that may happen like that's how it goes is going to believe and when she recognized that it was amazing and i want to give a shout out to joe in because that was amazing and just recognizing that allowed her to immediately let go of it and pushed knickers on and start really doing what she needed to do and she did and so that's very often what happens very often what happens even if we think we're aware of the things we're unaware of how we have categorized them in our selves and in our processing of information out of our belief system absolutely right and what helps us to get to the level of happiness and joy our belief system sometimes don't afford that maybe you know a session like that people don't believe in and somebody said something to someone and they got hung up about it or if they think you're trying to change their religion you know even when energy work and things like that and so there's a lot of stuff out there in the world in our in our social makeup that dictates to us yes and some of it comes from our family life or cultures or religious backgrounds now who we should be how we should be controlling us and we've learned to kind of control our own behavior in many ways to just conform to that and i think i know what we're talking about in the work that we're going to be doing and in the work that you do in your practice and that many practitioners do it's really nontraditional right from what we know and healing ourselves because you know traditionally you go to a therapist you go to a doctor you go maybe they load you up with some kind of depressant medication and then you kind of like sit there like that so i know so many people like that yeah and many of those people are not open to this type of work so i guess my question is how do you how do you break that because maybe somebody gets directed to you you know as a result of a referral or maybe they just don't know what else to do they're not really coming in with the most open mind to a desperate so how do you is a great question you know in the beginning i got that a lot in the beginning i felt like i had but again in a line that was manifesting i feel like that was a lot of my hesitation and cern so i was definitely attracting people that would ask me those questions and be very hesitant  write i have come to learn that i for a while and the last resort people do the medications they go to the therapies they see the doctors and after years and time and money and a decreasing life experience they say i have nothing left to lose let me try and quite frankly that's how i started yeah you know i had nothing left that seemed to work so maybe maybe this could work right so that's how that happens now the beautiful part of that is  i now work with doctors and therapists who are regularly sending me their clients been patients because what we do is very different yeah what we do is very different i don't need to sit and talk with you i don't need to do a lot of the psychotherapy what i do is i want to hear what limitations you're putting on yourself yeah so that we can help adjust those limitations and make those not limitations make those opportunities of exactly what it is you desire so your brain says oh that's possible oh that felt great wow i could do that oh wow look i can walk into a room and feel powerful i can walk into a room and be confident that i know all that i'm supposed to know right so that's that's how that's how that works so what so true and and i loved i love this this partnership because right now i don't think and i don't know which side of the queen tension the limitation comes from but i don't think there's a lot of that education on their side too and they weren't open they wouldn't even give you a consideration it's open is funny and some of them absolutely don't understand it and they want to tell me i have no idea what you're doing in there that but i can't deny what i see ok be aware that it can happen it happens it's happening every day yeah and what and the beautiful part i think with what happens in my office or on skype or face time wherever it is a meeting somebody what they take away from that session is something that they are going to use for the rest of their lives if they like so from that point forward they now have a technique in a tool to not only get through and around the thing but they can continue to reinforce it every day by listening to t session and they can continue practicing it and then they begin reinforcing that positive part of their life instead of the limitation or that negative part of their life that they will be able to leave cuba yeah it's i feel so grateful to i don't know how i got here and i'm so grateful having a doing it yeah it's really good it's so good yeah so share share a couple more stories because i mean i think again i think we're kind of about visualizing what this is what this what this looks like sure people because because again i think that's a lot of their limitation right taking that next step and saying let me connect with amy and get my life t yeah i mean i joke and say it's hard to put what i do want to business card really story yeah and that makes it real because someone can say oh i suffer with that i struggle with that yes yes and you know the most important thing is whatever it is you're struggling with pause and ask yourself how you're talking to yourself about that thing because i'm certain the how you're talking to yourself about that thing is not in a positive light right  and that is why you're feeling that way and very often people need something to look a certain way before they can feel a certain way about it yeah but the truth is perhaps what you're looking at isn't really how you're seeing it anyway yeah well it's so true yeah so we can convince ourselves of anything and everything we do every day that's what makes you you and that's what makes me me and that makes you you know we each have a personal experiences and each one of them have have cause us to believe certain things right right and some of those things help us some of those things hurt us right and there's no judgment right because as certain parts in our life those things may have been very very necessary streamline necessary so there's no judgment there's no feeling guilty that i think this way or feeling bad that i did this that's not necessary and that only reinforces you feeling worse and feeling more limited right right once you give yourself permission to just let go of anything holding your back and you don't have to be specific i let go of everything holding me back today i move forward in whatever this greatness is period start with that and you will start to feel different your brain will receive that information and act upon it right when you think of a happy thought your body physically responds you smile her shoulders go back a little right our head goes up when we think of a negative thought her shoulders droop down her face frowns our body is concert by make me not get  our body is physically responding to the things we think the problem is as we get older so much of it is automatic yes and we haven't gone through to review it right we need to review that stuff because we are responding to it and we're not even aware of it well i think you make a huge point in this whole thing right because i think people listening i mean it can be confusing if you thought ok let me sit and go through the entire library of my head right figure out what is serving me as not serving me but when you and you mention meditation before when you start spending time right hang it in words and paying attention paying attention to how things physically show up in your body that's your guide right there you're getting you're starting to understand what actually will bring you joy yeah right if you happiness and what does not and right is not right and always realizing that whether it's a thought whether it's how you're speaking about something whether you're rehashing about event over and over and over and over and over again you are attracted to that energy and that feeling that emotion back to you over and over and over and over again and then when you start to feel better and then all of a sudden you're not you know you're not in this perpetual then you can see that i'm feeling better ok now how do i keep feeling better or how do we keep feeling joy but i think you know you mentioned the meditation and was that a piece for you like an term meditation for me was very much a piece because it took me out of my negative thinking for that short period of time and allowed me to experience something that felt good felt like relief so as i broke up the bigness of the bad i started to feel more relief yeah you know in my practice i begin very often with people how they become aware of what their thinking is how your body is feeling you know people receive stressful information in different way in i've learned it's stomach where their chest right whether your their head and when you thank you for a million or with that that's how you decide what to change because for me that is your body physically rejecting whatever it is you're thinking in that moment so even if you have a lot of evidence to prove what you're thinking is true in that moment it no longer serves you right it no longer serves you right so true  are exercises in here actually to walk you through the process to become aware of what it is you're thinking how to become aware of what it is you're thinking how to do something to that once you discover what it is how to be clear on what it is you really want because that's another thing people want relief but they have no idea what's really on the other side and what it is they want what is they want to be doing what's the right decision right so getting clear and letting go of the limitation allows you to more clearly see that and walk through that with a confident knowing yeah yeah yeah i definitely i definitely see that and i think women looking for what makes you happy all these different questions and she said for an audience that would be go wild answering you know all types of questions silence yeah good answer yes and i noticed that even years ago talking with my daughter and just trying to get her the number one thing it is the biggest gift in life is to know what you want yes and so we've talked about that and how difficult that you know we're filled with expectation from one who has a little there's an expectation of what we should be doing what people tell us we're good at and what we should be doing and sometimes that's in conflict sometimes it's not sometimes it is said to be tweaked but sometimes that's in conflict and as you get more comfortable stepping into who you are and recognizing  really good at and what it is that really does interest you and i think you excited that's where you spend your time and and that's where the magic happens you know there's a lot of silly things that we could deem not important or significant in this life that have been created and yet we use them we have them around and they all were created by someone who had an idea of something that felt good to them so you know that's how it goes yeah you have to find your joy and it's hard to do that when we're living in our sadness and our guilt and our fear and fear is fear will hold you back all the way think about young children right i watch my grandkids all the time they're happiest doing whatever when they're surrounded by their toy i used a lot of love in the house and they're doing fine the minute something comes in to you know usurp that energy whether it be a person that comes in with you know a different personality yes interrupting that flow they react to it absolutely so sometimes when you surface ok as always but i do feel like we covered some high level things and i think people need to get this book it is it is your past it is your your guide on the journey if people want to get in touch with you directly how do they do that they can find me on facebook a me are very they can also contact me on my website and they are very c s thought com all over social media type in my name you'll find me and i'd love to hear from you i love to hear your thoughts about the book and he questions i love to connect you know it's my mission now to let people know that they don't have to be suffering living in guilt and fear and shame it's just not the way has to be absolutely will thank you so much thank