life most people focus on diet and exercise unfortunately behavioral health is one aspect of our well in this that's often overlooked in today's society w motions to calmly being at the bottom seem like a sign of weakness or a failure of our culture and makes us afraid to talk about our struggles for fear of being a leading label or insane mental health louis is a specialist at new york state division the fumin rights she has over twenty years of legal experience in the fields of higher education compliance and they were citi corp labor and employment immigration civil and human rights laws our guest panelist and  a doctor of nursing practice and an associate professor of nursing she is the state chair for the national federation of american associations and was recently appointed to the manhattan community board district five advocates ok i'm happiest when i'm at home and when i stay at home it does not necessarily mean a physical place or a place of residence it could be ours the classroom where we have on tap yes when i'm teaching and it could also be a state of a state of mind i know that when my when my family is ok from all over the country or all over the place then i'm happiest wow i mean you have to claim i'm happiest wherever are most afraid of white supremacy and i say that because so many of my patients especially my friends are deeply impacted by what's going on in the country and what has been going on and so that's a focus  fears the losing someone you love but you know it's a fact of life so you know a condition of mind to be able to handle you know i start just like people i love you know my pets too so yeah  disappointed or when a loved one passes depression is just like no right and there's no hopelessness about there's negative so few negative view of the world and hopelessness about the future so that's the trifecta of depression in children and men often times that looks like anger or irritation and for some of my patients who have a history of depression if they start to they come in and they're like oh i'm so irritated with my roommate or my husband or my whatever and i'm like maybe we're heading into another depressive episode let's talk about  i would never think that that you would be so interconnected irritability and virally and yeah because it's just like you people start losing the ability to handle impaired and also a man i say a lot of men have two speeds happy you're angry because it's time acceptable for men to show a range of emotion you know men are supposed to be strong boys don't cry that sort of thing you know so i work on with everyone sort of expanding their ability to recognize a variety of emotions but that's like the canary in the coal mine you know if you feel like getting irritable about everything and having no patience maybe you're heading into depression  ok st of all i concur with dr crane but with the new moms they after delivery women actually experience different psychological feelings and that for some sort of intervention if they're not willing to speak up i think that's hard to see even in a family if you see someone isolating or someone you know like you said with a new mother not able to really attend to her baby normally let's say then that might be an indication that like hey you want to talk about it you know i think also always like we at home if you notice something's different about your loved one your friend family member you know you might inquire like is everything ok with you and typically people like i'm part of find and also you know my family is like we don't air our dirty laundry which means you know talk about anything so i think it's difficult to to sort of insert yourself but always just so i think really important something that even with the kids activities like family meal as many times a week as you can possibly do it no devices i feel fortunate that my children grew up mostly before devices but even now it's like don't come to the table with your phone like we're going to look at each other and enjoy our food and have a conversation it's not just kids i know you live your life even our parents are the st where you just have to really just unplug just even like cry for help so we need to be able to address that as a mom say let's let's hey i noticed that you posted something on social media so sit down and really listen so as a parent is it important to really real so i mean one thing i notice because i was in college counseling for several years if someone's just doing nothing with binge watching television i mean for hours a day that she really depression i also get to be friends when your kids are still at home get to be friends with their friends because the friends will tell you i mean one of my children came to me and said mommy can you talk to my friend's parents because she's suicidal which i thought was a big step you know and it's a little awkward to call and say hey i'm worried about your child but it's better than not knowing about it somebody you know because you know a lot of parents it's like this is impossible this can't be happening and you don't want to offend someone but also at some point you say you have to tell yourself i did the best that i could and then let it go special even when it's at six i came here i think i was just fresh out of college and had nobody i mean a few family members but of course never and never left home before i moved to the states the st year i didn't stop crying it's mine every time but then you know during the day i can't cry  i need to seek help you know it's just normal depression because some country by myself or other i think colleges and universities do a good job some better than others of outreach to international students to immigrant students to children of immigrants or you know st time college you know st ones in their families to attend college or university plenty slipped through the cracks but we we do a lot of outreach at the beginning of the school year to let different groups know that hey we're here no commitment you can just come and talk of something is troubling you if you're angry at your professor and we couch it in a lot of different ways so that people feel welcome and i'm finding more and more that young people  introduced to mental health interventions through their school counseling centers and then they're kind of hooked and then afterwards pursue therapy you know once they're in the working world yeah i see a lot more of my own colleagues who  it's self care it is here and it and what i'm finding is that because when i was in college counseling every single college and university counseling center no matter how many therapists they have no matter how many groups i have are like have waiting lists  because that can actually release and doorframes well walking biking and plus the sunlight that research to says that it boosts your boost  everyone should have a full spectrum law you can get them on amazon oh yeah yeah i have it in my office i was on all day long because this whole spectrum light and you expose yourself to it and it really does help right so check in with yourself in just periodical you take a few deep breaths and relax your body because i think everybody when they get tense just like you know really that struck me because just like jen jen when i was new here i was they bombarded with all these that i just is a strong go which is the same every day but every move is attached to a breath so what you're forced to be very mindful about your breathing and i find it very calming and again running and walking as i'd mentioned earlier group chat and i was like whoa you know you should reach out for support we should all reach out for support and i was like don't you do that your group chart because now we've never done that i'm like why not and she's like i'm going to try it and she did and and the response was amazing they're like oh my gosh it's such a great idea for me and i'm just starting to practice different habits of be more mindful breathing exercises so just taking basically trying to take that headspace how up to the next level but you know just being only for sleeping and sex no six electronics at all an hour before bed time go to bed and wake up at the same time every day and it does wonders i mean for those of us who are aging for everybody sleep is paramount because it makes everything easier it's actually if you don't have enough sleep if effect when talking it narrow oh yes so and when you sleep your body works a lot and whether it's you know releasing energy illness better at this point there is still studies that say that mental illness there's still stigma around that and we have to break down that stigma ok and we have to still respect to these i me you know always treat life as a gift and so when you treat life as a gift you value it share a lot of yourself contra blessings always f