who i call the pain detective and people can find you on all social media and it's muscles in balance you got it right good good good and then we also have julie maddox who is the wellness coach and she's on final i say that every week but show is really all about is twenty five years i did groups in the hospitals and it's giving people the tools to live well and so that's what we do each week we try to introduce a new tool and we've done to greet each like i swear i there's been one that i want to talk about and i've actually written about and i wanted to just change people's perspective so i thought we could do that today want to ask you paid attention to what comes to mind when put things on my mind i'm so glad you said put things out of your mind because a lot of people so here's here's how this all started probably about four years ago i had a girlfriend who started going here in princeton to the princeton buddhist meditation center you don't have to be buddhist to go there but it's a place to go and learn and so she started going there and i saw how it trends for i told i was going to say this so one time like probably twenty years ago we went out to dinner and i was so embarrassed because she was so reactive like i don't know if you've ever been out to dinner with somebody like that who wishes like you want to crawl under that people because they were quite honestly just being a holes and she was just so highly strung and highly sensitive and so then she started doing this and i gaffe career year i was like is this same person like really is is you know and so she invited me one day to go with her and i was like ok i want to you know be supportive and what was really amazing was the woman that ran the center at the time her name was on a train me and she was a tibet none she was she  american but she was one of few you know tibet nuns and she had gone through have you ever heard of pema chodron now i mean she is she's kind of like this this it's tibet nun who has lots of teachings and just is really is about trying to make your mind be quiet he said and that's the farthest thing from the truth he said you can't make your mind be quiet she said there might only be one time and i don't know i don't want to find out you know not being when you're dead right so she said i will give you my simple directions sit down and shut up and i said i can do that i like as i corry i can do that because i used to be the kind of person i thought you had to make  exactly and so the idea is so this is what she said there's lots of different types of meditation and there's different practices but what she really taught was that meditation was a tool to be able to tame and train your mind so the analogy hugh always used was a wild horse so if they went into the plains and they grabbed a wild horse right in order to train the hoarder should first ha to tame it and so what she said was that's the idea of meditation is really kind of taming it so i was i alright let me do this so i decided i would do sixty seconds a day and so i'm here to issue a challenge to you tube with the into this a b and anybody watching this is that i want to do this see this thirty day sixty second challenge that you can change your life in just sixty seconds a day and we're going to practice i want to share with you some of the things that she taught me because they're just very simple tunes you know just really simple and if you can just keep it because her call was just keep it simple definitely she said there's other practices like transcendental meditation  yet and i actually worked my way up to five minutes dead but i remember sitting just a toilet stall and says set my phone and doing well five minutes because i made a commitment to just do it but what was amazing is after just sixty seconds a day for two weeks my dog sandy got out at night it nine pm on a saturday night where i live you guys it is pitch black like there's wild animals on there and the weird part was i was home for a king kong like i was like wait a minute well like i would've been freaking out before i would have been like driving around looking for her car and on and i was so calm and that's when i realized it even sixty seconds a day in changed people's lives because even that sixty cents and i was a call person the kind of begin with so what i say is that the other thing that meditation does in doing it consistently is it ever started to car up in the morning and i don't faster you know and then if you let it warm up just a gradual minutes it seems like the idle you have is kind of drops that's what i think meditation does for us it drops our reaction idols so the thing that would you would react to one way and that's what changed in my girlfriend although she really did it for like you know twenty minutes or so so the idea of this i want to write this up on a board that i don't want these points to get lost is it really you know meditation is just a it's just a tool i suspect it's actually a tool and what we're really trying to do is to sort of tame because your thoughts can be and you know when they get the worst one of they get to work for you guys like your mind races well all th train your mind but the other way i want to introduce to you guys is if you think about it and this is how it can help anybody like say in a profession is that this idea of attention that we only have so much and this other really great book i read was this guy said did meditation is like doing pushups for your mind right you do weight training we do weight training to make muscle stronger that we all have this attention muscle and it's just about strengthening it and this is the only way that we can do that and so he said it was doing pushups for you with your for your mind and i was i that i could see although i'm visual but i got that far you know and it doesn't have to be and so i'm calling this we're going to call this show meditation it's not what you think because i said to her i need we need to let the rest of the world though because i believe more people are like me that think that meditation is you got to make your mind require and if you fail at it then you're no good now you know and you can't do it you're just forget it you'll never be good at it but it's not that at all all right and so does that kind of give you sort of a like a context and then i told her we've got it you know write a book so i told her i was going to write a book so i did write a book and i actually brought you guys a copy of it wow fantastic it's called getting your mind to mind you that's for right  and and actually i'm going to turn to his a little bit because there's there's something stream a had actually passed away almost two years ago but she had given me some affirmations because there's a way we can use this to to kind of rewire our brain a little bit to be a little bit more positive and less negative now you want to know what he said to me i told her the title you know so she says you know how about getting your mind to mine and because remember she's a buddhist there is no you in buddhism you know and i was like no i'm not writing this for the right this for me and everybody else it's called getting your mind to mind you because it's learning how to first tame it and sort of train it make a little bit of sense now so actually i'm not going to give this to you guys yet did you but well you're busy lady yeah well it's one of the few i've written but here's the subtitle it's a beginner's guide to meditation for those who think they can't because their mind won't be quiet  you know ed and i thought that i want to do this because i just wondered if you guys thought we've never talked about meditation before and and it really is such an incredible stress tool as a kind of a preventative  and even when you're in the middle of chaos it becomes a way of you sort of grounding yourself you've done that in the middle of chaos yes yes sitting in the sea even in grocery stores and when will kind of practice a little bit ok so here here is all you know it's interesting i also did a little i did a video for this book it's a one minute and i kind of guide people through it and it's on you tube so we'll have ah just kind of lead us through just one minute and then one do that here and second and then people would be done and i think people would be surprised how your life changes in just sixty seconds of that so so here's the thing  i think is if she wanted to kind of just have your posture street because it's really about breath and so if you take a breath then you want to straight a line into your lungs all right and she said your eyes she said they can be closed they can be open her teacher who is one of the first tibetans monks to bring kind of buddhism back in the sixty's he he kind of is what she'd say she's like you don't go through life with your eyes closed so that's why you're so it's kind of like you can kind you know what i do when i do my i used to close them but now you know what i do is i just kind of zero in on the very bottom of my classes or you know you could pick a spot so there's no right or wrong way to do it but but the most important part is really your breath and so here's what we're i want to describe it and then we'll do a little bit of it and then we'll do a couple variations are right but what she said was this is you want to take a breath in right and if you're breathing you just say to yourself in your mind breathing in so if you inhale you're just saying breathing in and then his paws a quick sac and then if you exhale breathing out and so that's kind of the words and if you think about it it's like the guard rails on the road so when your mind it kind of gives your mind some direction all right and again you can do it sitting up can't do it laying down you know i don't cross my legs i just actually i have to do it on the couch because our new puppy interrupts me but you know the ground very bizarre reason why i'm sitting on the couch she doesn't bother me  o so that's what we're going to do just before we're going to for like one minute your hands just kind of comfortable in your lap you know it really is about it it's not complicated you know that's why she said sit down and shut up but thought i could tell that now here's the secret if you catch yourself thinking right even with breathe in breathe out if you catch your mind something flight in there that's ok she says you just say to yourself gently thinking and then bring your attention back to your breath so the whole idea is that we're just training ourselves to focus on our breath and our minds are going to do this and our job is just i think of it like it's a baby you know how babies walking they're trying to walk and they kind of start to wobble this way and somebody just puts their hand there and in the edges of not this way that how i've described it to even teachers who are said that's what you're doing you're just your mind's going to go here and all you want to do is kindness who did back over here all right so you're not really even trying all right so i just kind of see breathing in breathing out so he just sit not straight oh i forgot the other important part you guys she said your tennis your chin or just talked a little bit you know you know it kind of she said this if you cut it and that's because what it does is it creates this line with your air so oxygen all right  so you're ready so if you're breathing in you want to say writhing in an exhale reading out and honestly if you keep your eyes open times when i've been in chaos and i've been in a grocery store it's just again your eyes are open but it's using our breath as the anchor to kind attain that's the first  well i'm thinking about right now it was so quiet here and i think you are in the practice will be when yes when there's noise around right and the dog like my attention yeah yeah and that's why sixty seconds lock yourself in the bathroom for sixty seconds away from the dogs because the other thing i found is it the consistency to me with anything we do i honestly believe the consistency so there's a great app called headspace i don't know if you guys have heard of it but this is a guy who i guess was trained as a tibetan monk or something and pretty amazing but he instead of doing twenty and thirty minutes he came up with the idea ten minutes which is that's good but if i discovered that even one minute if you could do one minute a day now and again it's just it when your mind starts thinking oh and then let me give you another this time if you want to breathe and think yourself my mind is call and as you exit my body is relaxed in my mind is cal my mind is cal so is it better to do this what is a more challenging place like because i could see myself coach the preserving doing this that's what ok yeah and then when it's really hard to do it practice it to train it in the house with all the know you don't need to test yourself i don't hold goal is just and i know the preserve and honestly i just i think it was supercharger preserve you know i hear and if you can't get to the  my body's relaxed you know and that's just kind of you can think of it as a montra i think of it more the guardrails and again your brain will still kind of like it will like what our biggest thing is just acknowledge that and say thinking and then just bring it back so again it's almost like a whole if you think about a horse and i have actually picture if there is a horse in there if you think about horses what they do is horses start to go while but then they kind of slow bring a store to train it and they start out on a long lead so they'll take a wild horse and it's just letting that horse run around but then generally gently kind of reeling it in a little bit and like i i like the idea of attention muscle and there's some other great videos on youtube one so so another word that comes along with this you guys and it bears bare saying here is actually this idea actually these are both words meditation and much are obviously a longer length you know they're actually both words so here's what meditation stands for mind exercises directing intention towards awareness of thoughts so awareness thoughts improving our nature so there mind that i think of meditation is my x or so i asked you right now and i'm mindful is moments still hold if that helps you guys understand this meditation is this tool that is just it's phenomenal so i'm kind of coming up with a challenge i want to do like a really big book challenge sixty seconds and if you sign up for it what i'll do is send you the video like all recorded i don't want to pre record it right now i'm willing to commit to every morning you know get out my little phone and saying ok time it's chill lawyer twelve time way that what would happen is she would use affirmations every now and then she would she had this whole list of them and they were marvelous and i said could could i include some of those in my book and so she gave them to me and what's really cool is after she passed away the center took and he took all of them and they put her quote and made their own book of just her quotes which is really really cool because now everybody still carries around a little piece of them h because they're there you gotta make your mind be quiet you've got to do it for twenty minutes for it to work you know to me those are all the myths it kept me from doing it let me see if there was any other method god no no i think that and then and then let me get the i want to find her and i didn't mark it out so sorry i didn't get it done but where ok so in the back i can control my reactions so that's the in and out now they want on me in this in this moment out is my life is perfect and if you think about it we've done a show on has that thinking jumper cables yeah this is just kind of jumper i mean it's like strengthening it another one here says on the in breath is i move forward with confidence and he out breath is all is well in my life is a good one in breath i love and approve of myself and outbreath i am at peace with myself in breath i am gentle and loving outbreath towards myself and others and here's a good one for people in pain i am in breath is i am free from pain and outbreath is illness and suffering  i did it was really pretty amazing was they did like a three day retreat and so i kind of challenged myself i was like that's kind of pushing myself i have to tell you i was pretty amazing you know it was a silent retreat meaning that you didn't talk to anybody but was really interesting is it makes you then kind of kind of focus your attention more on you and you want observing what was around you were in this beautiful place where was it out west we know this was actually in north a clip in new jersey there was a retreat that was up there and it was pretty i mean it was pretty amazing so i'm very not talking for three  days now now you had a roommate and you know your roommate if your roommate you know wanted to honor that you know and there were some serious there were some really serious meditators there and i was kind of like and so i had a roommate and so yeah it just we didn't you know it was just quietness it was just now that would drive some people you know kind of over the edge all of that quietness but it's really sometimes because here's the next step is  really realizing so what are your thoughts because the other thing in treatment used to say is with our thoughts we make our world which is really what the buddha said all that we are is the results of our thoughts founded on our thoughts and made up of our thoughts with our thoughts we make our world and so if you never slow your brain down enough to know what it's thinking then you may end up with all this chaos when you can it's really work on it from the beginning so so i hope that was helpful ladies we are  divorce show time i will be sure though to put these kind of meditations up so people can have a man what i'll do is put these kind of reminders up for people to take away when they watch the show so thank you