i'm christina a store i am the mother of a gay daughter for the longest time i didn't know what that meant being a mother to a lesbian daughter all i know is that when diana came out to me about a decade ago i was gripped w fear that my daughter will be ridiculed that she will be discriminated and that she will be the target of bias based on gender or some other you don't want any of that on your children my daughter has dismissed my fears and said she's and and we don't aim to represent all queer pretty nice because there are so it's a spectrum isn't it yes so we can only talk about our own personal experiences and the experience of our community spirit coming out in the u s yes i also came out twice i knew that i was different when i was young because so you started crushing on my kindergarten teacher when i was five and i remember this  i identify you left me and growing up in the philippines and then when i came here i was actually very afraid of meeting my mother so i immigrated here in june two thousand you know because we've been separated and i didn't want her i started acting more feminine but i think she knew i have a quick question my child just came out three weeks ago and there were no signs imagine how you guys go through what you went through but at some other you always want you love them unconditionally that's right and then you have all those emotions and and it's like you're grieving but it and we even i heard it's you my husband and i we cried for several weeks ok we were just in bed crying and my i think it was harder on my husband because he's the me you know he's the father he felt it was and really the message that i got growing up was that i wasn't supposed to exist you know my i got that message from my family you know from the church from school you know the message that i got  won to be honest when he won i thought that i was just going to live for five years with you know white supremacy homophobia heterosexist and i've experienced you know firsthand threats of violence and actual violence ago for young women you know the surrounded me because as you said they were saying something to the older let you know woman you know on my side and then they said something like stop bothering her and then they all kind of ganged up but i knew they were doing that because i was you know where i'm brown i'm a woman and i really felt that you know i was were you was on the subways ok i was on the subway on that you treat on my way to work and i really felt slighted and you know i and you would think that being in america you sort of gives you a feeling of liberation you know because you can be who you want to be unlike if you were in the subway interesting because when i was talking this is totally new to me and talking to my wife and my family in the philippines and they were more open to it because there are more people who are out in the philippines i suppose the one in the u s is that true filipino i think so i think they are more discriminatory back home right well i mean i'm talking about i think like gay men are more out more in media and the women are coming out slowly and i think it is about media it's about presentation representation if we have more stories like yours and others i feel like that yeah your story is just your personal but it also gives lie to the viewers and your followers and i think that there's someone that looks like me you know we need the support of the community that's so hard so now in terms of community i see that you have a pin here it says stonewall twenty five june twenty sixth ninety four we are all familiar with something about the stone wall riots do you know any filipinos that were involved in that yes i mean we had the group were forming been with in their relationship for something like five or six if she's very happy they live in philly and the girl has children so she has children your grandma i  know but there's always celebration in what it is that's true though when you know there's always this coming out it's such a somebody said that if it's a strong character or a person to come out kids like if they are feeling some certain way like is there any resources that they can go do you to learn more stories or how to transition or if that's even a term that's appropriately used for me like i said i grew up in manila and i remember very distinctly when i was fifteen years old you know on my fifteenth birthday just crying so hard and pre god why did you make me this way because i felt so alone in isolated in this know and i were talking about this and it may be somewhat different from st but i think what's important is there should be it should be fun and there should be mutual consent made if a i think one thing that we have to clarify is that there's a difference between sexual orientation and gender identity so gender identity is how you present yourself like i can you can be born a woman in feminine right or you can be born woman in the masculine percent thing like us but your sexual orientation is totally different so i mean it's usually a shoe in that if you're butch you know you're attracted to friends yes but you can also be attracted to i think that's one of the i mean you're already you already went out of the box from being street so why box yourself again i mean sometimes i would meet women let's say what ten years ago they say they're by and then you see them all holy you and then you push and they're still by i said no i'm trance now you know so you know you just have to go with the flow i don't the most important thing is that you respect and that i think that's the most important thing that sure it just changes meantime thank you both and thank you everyone that it was a very enlightening episode and very for me informative and what i learned from this conversation is that there is so much to learn from the language terminology leading to understanding the l g b t q community and learning to sport and connect with them i like to see a time when the language becomes familiar we can begin to speak about being gay without any guilt or awkwardness in the meantime for