of community outreach yes and worship for clinton united methodist church so welcome here in the ledger here right here so today we're really going to be kind of talking about a topic that we're both really passionate about and shows up pretty much everywhere every day every minute and that is kind of the basic tenants of kindness connectedness welcoming welcoming and friendly does any of that mean right and how does it show up and what does it look like you you've been spending some time in in that realm from a person all and community perspective as it relates to the church environment yet but here we talk about how it shows up in the in the world as a whole and of course i'm very engaged involved in bringing more of this to the corporate environment corporate setting right so so tell me a little bit about what you're working on this next week and what you're going to be focusing on yeah for sure i think that the concept of kindness and being a welcoming community is so important  right dead center in our frontal lobe you know and i mean and there's been a lot of experiences that i've had over the course of what i call just that two thousand and fifteen in other words and  kind of experiences i've had where i've noted where the lack of kindness has such a negative impact in my community and in my area and in my in my bubble here and where would kindness be just so valuable in creating a great experience in kind of being an agent for change in our in our communities and in our world be it in our professional environment in our faith environment in our personal home family you have to be kind yeah right you don't even actually need to talk about it but at the ground we're human beings and so it's the same conversation yeah every every point you have and unfortunately i think in a lot of church places or a lot of religious organizations the element of kindness is what's actually lacking yeah like what's not there yeah and it makes me wonder do people know how to do it yeah you know do people know how to be a kind person yeah this i think it takes practice and you know consistency right or sure i like what people underestimate or take for granted how they interact and the power of their interaction we've been able during their d n a or even in their having ships an important question to ask is do you understand you actually are you able to internalize what impact you can have on another person and you know are you aware of that impact is so important and you just reminded me that you know something something that i really like to do especially when i'm in this is only whether i'm meditating or just kind of like taking inventory of my week or my day or the season of life that i'm in whenever i want to say like how will i be a better black man brother son employee whatever the case may be i think it's important that when it's in terms of well being a wealthy person a kind person i think it's important that we not look at where we lack and where we have this you know burning opportunity or we're just not good at whatever the case may be it's important to look at what we are good at you know let's capitalize on the things that we do thrive in the things that we are passionate about how can capitalize on those to kind of why people aren't as friendly or or kind of reaching out even in the moment and we talked about how people sometimes think their own worthy or just don't feel that maybe in that moment they have anything to offer and just the reality of recognizing someone and seeing them and son is just one encouraging sentence you know can change everything for some time and i think people in this you know in our age of technology where we're you know barely ever you know outside of arm's reach of our phones or i pads or what have you people have lost that sense of personal connection or what really feeds our soul and so so being recognized and you know we were talking about different ways this shows up and even in your daily life and i always witness it when i'm with you are you do it yeah yeah it's it you watch it change everything and by the way right it's the biggest gift to you yeah the biggest carry that you can get is to you know start seeing and putting it in they're just in a different state and guess what they're either greeting that next customer or holding right or for someone else or right a ripple effect that that that kind of caring has right and the other ripple effect is super important right because i think that i think that there's an element of fear that maybe will keep us you know that element maybe not feel like we have anything to offer or maybe being afraid of you know not having an impact or seeing a crash and burn type of moment happening in an interaction let's say between you and me if we were strangers you know what does like hey how are you doing today and that one thing to city that it takes to take a step forward and say like hello you know so important when we can kind of address the fear and that might look different for everyone right i know it looks different for me that it might look for you when we can address the fear that might keep us from that bold move to say like your earrings lucre or you look about well i have some pretty passionate ideas on how we can do that there's a few of them but the first thing that i think about because i would only talk about this element of kindness if if i knew what it looked like in my own life where i haven't been kind enough you know or if someone hasn't been hasn't followed through for me in the way that maybe i'd hoped or expected and i think it takes a celebration of each other's diversity you know there's a lot of stuff going on in our world right now and we're facing these tensions in our country in particular in our communities politically hello you know just socially with our the tensions that surround our ideas on gender equality the racial inequality in unfairness the in our world is so intense it makes my heart beat so hard for these people that don't have a voice you know where have i a voice where have you not had a voice where these these groups of people who are kept apart not had a voice you know any mean when we can address our fear and then be willing to celebrate each other's diversity or  know just yesterday we were talking about how we we might put things into boxes can we celebrate each other's boxes and what those boxes look like in the midst of maybe not understanding let's seek to understand each other's diversity celebrate that when you sometimes focus on the differences that's where people get like ok wow we're way too different like you look at you sound you know so different than me like what how is it where a like right well we're all so much alike and i think when we get into some of these conversations to your point about our fears and about what that fear can cause in terms of judgment we break that down and we see that we all have it and then there's i mean i'm a little idealistic but you know i think about the world where we all just said let's not write let's not focus on those things let's put those aside and help us on on who we are and how we are and how yeah but like being able to dispel that fear by looking at just the basic commonality and i think that it's important in the midst of our fear in the midst of our maybe our lack of understanding of each other so that as you said focus on that commonality focus on what we have that is the same but sometimes it's saying like what is the goal and i think that from a faith standpoint for example you mention tolerance and i think there's a difference between celebrating each other's diversity and tolerating another person where maybe we feel like we're compromising our belief system maybe we feel like we're are compromising our moral compass or what we've always believed or what came as a result of our upbringing our faith upbringing or whatever the case may be i don't think that those are the same now you know one isn't as forgiving as the other right you know but how do you get there so that's that's where we have a conversation around you know i mean yeah and when i think about the purest sense of the word tolerance sounds like contentment i am content with that well that that is a very committed all right or maybe it's not as authentic as it could be yeah but but but tolerance in some of the discussions that i've been a part of is really more about that focus is really more about until i get to know you i'm not going to make judgments and i'm not going to let whatever i initially feel rock my beliefs or have my you know what i mean we get to be who we are so it's more of a like in my opinion kind of a stepping stone to celebration you know i think i think you're right because i think about my own belief system though i tend to be a little bit more progressive or i guess liberal is a is a good way of putting it there are still parts of my admittedly conservative very conservative up upbringing that i hold onto because i believe in it and i think it i think it's true and i think it's r can't be unwilling to understand other sides though you know i can't be unwilling to see the bigger picture we're going to like because then i say that i'm the only right one right if i'm unwilling then i'm the right one you know i never want to arrive what's the fun in arriving you know i always want to grow we always need to grow you know then what's the point right right right and so so it is you know i mean it comes back  and right what keeps us from being being the most welcoming person the most kind person and really being authentic in then there's that whole idea of you know celebrating each other's diversity but a third thing that i think is really super important is being proactive about welcoming experiences rather than reactive and in the corporate world we talk about that a lot right be proactive rather than reactive you know but i think about a story when i started this job it clinton the united methodist church in clinton new jersey you know i'm i'm doing the outreach thing i'm getting in touch with people who are also passionate about the mission a life of the church but also the mission a life of being a community and just being people who live  in other words being people who are postured to always help one another be kind of everything that we're talking about and i remember at this one meeting in particular you know i have been going to this church community for about three years before i assume to this role this new role and there were some at the meeting and i walked right up to that person said hey how are you i'm johnny walsh and the person looked at me introduced herself and said i've been going to this church for three and a half years and i had never met her i was flat and i was laughing because here i was being a part of this community for three years and walking into this role where i need to represent our community and help her community to grow but here is this mission only minded community minded person right in my midst and wife had every opportunity of meeting and i did it and i did it and that was a that was that was a pretty humbling they gave me a lot of humility to say where could i have been more proactive about knowing who my people are being proactive about how could i have been more welcoming in that moment rather than disregarding that maybe i had never taken a step to get to know that person you know what i mean yeah yeah right it is because you know back to what i think we started this conversation with intentionality yes i mean being intentional and thinking about hey it's important and for you that became very intentional at that moment whereas before that you know you you you who believable musicians so you think you think part of our church in that capacity and everyone you see that that's always a funny scenario to everyone is johnny welsh so it's a big not to then think like well i should know everyone sure no but then shifted into an intention that hey i want to make it my mission to reach out and connect with every person here and there is there there is like that right and there's a forgiving element of you know depending on your role or what you do for a church or your job or whatever people knowing you're not not necessarily a it's a lot to think about and it's a lot to be mindful of you know this whole idea of being intentional about it you have to wear it you know when you wake up in the morning and you you know for me i always say like  does there are plenty times where i wake up in the morning with a busy day ahead of me where maybe i don't want to be intentional about being all the things that we're talking about but when you put it in your focus when you put in your mind's eye and your frontal lobe again that's when this beautiful thing starts to happen you know all of a sudden it doesn't become about us becomes about others it becomes about the bigger picture and becomes about god or your higher power becomes about spiritual living it becomes about giving meaning to life giving meaning to your day you know maybe i do x y z mundine job and you know maybe i don't leave work feeling fulfilled how will i infuse within what i do on the daily to be fulfilling to leave an impact on another person to be a kind  kind hearted person that's going to impact another heart maybe there's more to that person in line at the grocery store or that person you know at the desk next to us who needs to know that they are cared about that they are recognize that their gifts  valued and maybe it's not going to come from who you expected to come from you know this hierarchy of a boss or you know you know a manager i was over at someone else's show that someone else's job celeste had to have that's not the case it's always our job to give value to another person because that's what's going to really change someone's heart yeah well and it changes it changes that person who's giving it changes their life i love the use the word meaning i mean so many people are looking for meaning and purpose that's right and they're looking for something big they're looking for what's the big plan you know i mean what am i here to do i asked that question all the time hi nancy i hear to do show you know what is what is god's big destiny for me right and so that can be consistent throughout everything you do in life and it starts to anger you and to where you care about it was important but really it realizing that leading a meaningful life and leading a purposeful life because it is about you know as and as our pastor a church says and we're not here for ourselves we're here for others and the cause is it with the world is waiting for you that means just that next person is waiting for you  you know that next person that you have an opportunity to touch and again by the way your fellow man you know the meaning that it gives you when you recognize someone else there really is a gift and i think i think it's undervalued yeah i think people are already thinking about either the next meeting next appointment i have to pick up my son from solve her foot ball dance practice you know we have i mean they're ready on to the next thing and not realizing that they're going to be missing the show in between you know and we're seeing element of being filled you know and i think that we live in a society that points to take care of yourself yeah and we mask it under this the guise of being  healthy getting a personal trainer going to the gym setting resolutions we hide it under that how are you going to do you you know how are you going to make your life look inward be be the best version of yourself that you can be but what if rather than this ok do this thing at this allotted time to fill me and that's important it's important take time for yourself but what if it looked like the every moment the every minute of every day where you were just always seeking out an opportunity to be filled and to feel right that seems like it's building more of a foundation especially in terms of consistency that seems like it's building much more refined ation to stand on then this scene no resolution of this moment and like i said not that those things are bad and different people need different things but i find at least for myself and for a lot of people in my own community that we need that every minute moment you know that whole or being intentional about being filled and  element to also understand everyone that everyone's pain to you know thinking about the people who don't have a voice thinking about i mean we've come so far in terms of gender equality and but there's still so much farther that we need to go right and the same with this racial inequality there are so much farther we need to go in truly truly breaks my heart how do we ourselves who in some areas of our lives are many might be what is the word i'm looking for and power to or any maybe and we have a voice yeah you know that's really what it is we have a voice you know how do we go and experience those people's pain how do we about it well and too many people just don't want to see it so of rape works that's not that's your problem letting her think then having me think sure right and especially you know in some of the communities when we look out across our one tree i mean you know hey if i'm in this community but this is happening right over here this is my world this is your world right to deal with that and i can deal with this but when you recognize that we're all connected connected that's musical get energy we're all connected  you're not you're not living in separation of that you know you may not be experiencing that pain but you're not live it don't don't think it's not there's not an impact and there are no sure and i i do i do you think you have to see it afraid to you know i this over the course of the summer i went to this conference that dealt with a lot of these things and had open and flew discussions about you know all of these ideas gender equality racial equality everything down to the wire down to how our country by themselves oil you know how to really just make sure that we are doing the best that we can do as a country as a world as faith community and it's hosted by an organization called the reconciling ministries network of phenomenal network that works with the united methodist in particular really advocating for a lot of these major issues that face our country and my mind was blown and to be honest with you i thought i was sent to this conference to become an advocate to lobby on the steps of  place and and in my own way i do that yes you know but really what ended up happening was the sense of community that i built in that place was mind blowing you know it'll bring tears to my eyes if i talk about it too much but just th just this step twerps advocating we're being the kind of welcoming and inclusive church or community or what have you begin in me this change in my heart you know really begin to stir up a lot of ideas that i had about whatever you know and redefine them yeah you know him and set my gaze towards that being that kind of person being that welcoming person who wants to include and love all people no matter their faith background their religious background because i think those two things are different their sexuality their re how do we look at the heart straight towards the heart rate and say that's what has the most value yeah well that's the person and by the way the bills have the same thing yeah and you brought up you brought up understanding pain really never understand the simple things you know the things that may seem like on the surface like ok you know i can go in line and you know the story and say hello to someone but that might change a person's life giving hope in a lot of ways yeah yeah yeah and that's i love that with people and just to see what happens what comes out of it so it's a work in progress and using that blog i try to point to this idea that no matter what side of the coin you fall on you're still part of the same coin you still hold value as a human as someone who has different ideas also are more than happy to receive emails or increase at johnny clinton u m c n j dot com feel free to reach out to me i would love to have this conversation and see what we can do