kept her here and it's it's really quite wonderful and she's going to tell us about a very special book that she created wrote and shared with us we're very excited because it's finally been translated into english so i think it's a wonderful book i have read it i learned just so many things and i have a tremendous respect for use of metaphor i loved it i kept thinking oh there's another how in the world you think of  we kind of took her home to see what happened and we decided not to treat her and just kind of that happened what would happen so that was a very difficult year and that i'm kind of america and charlotte you know she didn't die as we all thought she would and she went into spontaneous remission and she was she was healed from this terrible terrible disease through love yeah i have to say the book is just complete the key thing to is the loan to carry through with your love of this child and your husband's love this yeah it just made it happen yeah of course i mean other things happened i think we were extremely lucky and you never know what happened but at least my task as a model or was to give her as much life as i couldn't when i think i did that i mean kids with me all the time and i never let her wait for you know she was hungry she could just kind of you know wink and if she wanted to speak she could just sleep so she was a very content baby she never had to cry or and  also because i was so so physically close to her i could really pick up every clue about what she needed and to my niece and yes or if she was kind of it was just this kind of house because i had just option you know to do it is but i mean i quit my job i just decided to spend as much time as i could with my baby and you did and it just it really is it was a miracle i mean it just i maintain it's all through love and you're doing intuition and let's talk a little bit about your intuition because i think it's so strong in the book right and it's so strong for you yeah and how this all came about how it came about yes so also that that's when we decided to put like a modern and the power of intuition because i think intuition is really a big it showed in her skin so she was born and she had like these first it's like one spot on her back and if you pressed on it it was bluish and and i kind of pretty like a little lake i described as a little lake in the afternoon doctor's office talking to him and he was said like there really isn't much we can actually do for her the only option and it was this was two thousand that things are different now was chemotherapy  and that's such a harsh method and he agreed he said like yeah i mean it's just kind of destroying is dangerous you could die from it and it will make her you know all this you know blind infertile and then something happen with me and i think that wait a week and my my intuition and i was looking at my baby was drinking at my breast and it was like if she was if she was telling me her name from some far own way plays like you know and i kind of just to it up put her in my sleep know and i just kind of walked out of you know and repaired to get all my stuff to leave and then the doctor said like what are you doing and i said i'm we're here to talk about the treatment options and i just said like we're not going to treat her i was just my intuition was just something i knew i shouldn't do and i think instantly and those two that that he was kind of he was not opposing that he was happy we made a decision and most parents really want to do like everything and they go and get like you know treatments or you know experimental treatments and i was just like you know we just leave her alone which was not something i would i want to say to you know parents who have a sick child just don't tweet are not at all  something i did and i kind of knew that's what we want to do with our when you file oh yeah it's really wonderful and as you say in the medical world is passed on and there are other suggestions that can really need when these children yeah i was born and how wonderful that people can keep it open and open mind yeah and i think it's just really like meaning what your child needs yes and the whole immune system especially for newborns but also for for for us it's such an intriguing fields and i think the human body is able to do so much things that we don't know yet we don't know and yeah we're beginning to see as we begin to see it and we relied so much on you know medicine and you know you have something and we forgot that we can we have a healing power you know i guess not offense the thing it's only it's a real concrete you know thing that could help us i mean that's happened i think people are beginning to pay attention to that more and  know i'm not going to take them yeah i've tried it it doesn't work for me and i don't want to take any more of that medicine and all of a sudden you know you were allowed to say that now ages ago but now you can you can  think that's something that we don't do as easily and anymore i think that's not true and that was something i mean for me something magical because i felt it was magical it was i was a spokesperson for somebody who was very dear to me yes speak yet she couldn't speak for herself you know that's why i kind of hurt her for ice from deep inside telling me something i was so responsible so totally and you give us a nice flavor yeah what's going on in your head and my little head and it's just about this you know woman with kids and i husband coming from you know amsterdam for not a country  e missing her language missing all over normal right ations and getting you know noticing things and i still do that i'm doing it for five years i'm still no visiting thanks but i started that was your first question so after sharon it was it was healed when she was a year old i was confused i couldn't come back to go back to my job i'm a psychotherapist and a and i was a  do that anymore i was totally knocked off my feet by what happened and i was always have helping other people and i thought i need to go back to where i am and thinking about charlotte as and you know ma i could write that intercepts and the first thing i never knew that and so i feel like i gave charlotte you know i gave her this gift of my you know my to you know to allow or to yourself and she gave me to gift off you know she ma wonderful story i'm so glad you could come on connect debt held it because it's it's wonderful it's just wonderful is part of what this tune has to offer and we talk about diversity and you're a perfect example of it you walk down the street in princeton is no longer just people talking slang about english but you hear someone speaking spanish you know i mean it's not really saying yeah i like that i remember it is know and people shouldn't be afraid of you no no no no no indeed no and i think in this case as we open up we are showing that we do we have a little space and if your child speaks spanish in the first language that's two k that's ok so i mean yeah it's not just one you know one day you know looking at things you know and it just it reaches all you know her forty's and coming off age which is i think important for all women and it took me a long time to to find my voice and thanks to my daughter and very bright very proud of that and i just kind of hope every and we don't know and we don't know what those gifts are now and but if we explore and certain circumstances open things up to a such as this unbelievable circumstance and here you are and you're right here are  audience doesn't know about that we could maybe pass on how our culture is different from yours and how it's affected you're driven and yes that's an that's a very you know as long as you're happy culture you know and so if you're happy you know you can do whatever and so we don't have these helicopter moms we don't have this whole way of pushing we don't look at their just you know i had this bike and i i had like charlotte in the front and my two boys in the back and that's how i went along and absent am i laughing you know you never have it you never use a car so that's also  us the automobile the automobile very strong and i have to get you sued because i brought my daughter my kids to school and you just kind of stand there you know kid out and amount of differences you know yeah huge differences yeah well thanks to you i feel as though i have a much better understanding of the netherlands yeah i mean i can i knew it on the map that is easy for me to find out and yeah all these wonderful tales that are in this book about whoever was taking charge of the playground yeah how important  era but the beautiful story that the book start with this that one of the one of the girls who worked and she was so young she i think she must have been like eighteen when i moved there ceased she started knitting you know little socks when i was pregnant with my furs and she became very close and very dear to me so that year when we were you know i was you know having her in a slaying and you know actually to begin and waiting for her to die but then in the end getting some hope all these people who are like the outcasts like you know her and the man in the playground he was he was kind of kind of more or less an alcoholic my neighbor who was also a little bit off something magical the things they told me you know they rang close to what i felt so before i got so much hope from that you know from them and also from my kids my son who said like you know sad to mean like and i didn't mention charlie being sick the dinosaur was sick he said like my chart of it's not going to die and i was like oh he knows he knows he knows that's what my thing your license that that's it for life says life is life is paved with i think little chance and yeah i i laugh in a way so i don't miss them i see them because they bring kind of look and give me your h