well i don't want to use me as a case but i'm using myself as a listening and that is to say how did it how did you come to this idea is going towards pleasure for most people a safe idea yes it's the simplest idea because being please comes from your heart not from this thing we never say your mom's desire we say your heart's desire and always known in our culture is bosses in the entire world and then he got terminal cancer and he became a different person he opened his heart and he apologized he wrote things and apologized for being where he was and he said oh my god i had known that my life so for me pleasure is living with your heart's desire not with this district attorney who was always accusing you of something up here and that's exactly what it's like in our culture oh you're not you're too young or too low or you're too skinny  too fat or too this or too that shut up and talk to the one who really is that's why there's a lot of pressure on men in our society to be a certain way how do you as a man allow yourself this opening this concept well because when i really look to see who i am and i really discover that my heart's desire i will work through my life i want to travel i think something's really horribly wrong with me but i was a psychotherapist for ten years and i was great at it and i could solve any problem people would come in an item race and say welcome are going to get to the heart of this and then of course emotionally they would an epiphany and i rew i don't want to live in the world problem for the rest of my life period i just don't want to and i ask what if you're going to live in problems and solve for people what are you going to do and then what came up was the image that some great for me which is the olympics and i thought what i really want to do is be a coach for people who want to go to the olympics in their life and i'm not talking about just athletes but having the having the work that they really want and having the life they really want after me is the olympian game that people can play and you don't have to be coached by hours to you can just clarify i'm done with this hard life and then being unhappy i'm done worrying i'm done having that voice accuse me in my head and now i'm going to my heart's desire and my tenth anniversary of being a psychotherapist i quit and i took about a whole year and a half and i said what do i really want to operate my heart's desire and i thought in order to really operate in a way that you feel like i finally have the right life you have to know who you are and that's big i don't know if you follow  religion but that's big in that religion first you have to know you're not an indian you're not a man you're not a woman you're not a buddhist you're not a hindu you're not whatever you are playing a role if your parents get into that culture who are you that's a whole different topic and i worked with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people movement and they were children they were born into the wrong culture because it's not for them and that's where we get where no one has gone yes she's brilliant and her daughter said during one of her films if mom is in a role where the where the woman has an accent who she's playing she want to talk outside of that accent for for six months she just goes into the wrong and research and it took me about a year and i have to figure that out and not only the idea that the technology of it you need to be able to delete old programming in your mind you need to actually be able to have conversations with what i call your art and really find out what people would call it some people call it jesus some people call it god within them some people call it whatever but if you notice all the spiritual leaders throughout history are often seen with the harmony their chest is effect risen jesus christ our honest chest all the time which is the signal for he lives here in the heart he doesn't live up here and there and i discovered something doing that which is i've never been an intellectual i'm intelligent i've always gotten ruined brazen all but i don't think that crying to their mother and the baby takes two seconds and goes oh i'm the one with the heart everything is fine and the baby relaxes and goes to sleep and all that and that's where i'm going to live so i not only moved across the country but i took up residence in a different universe which is not the universe of the mind which is what we train our children to be something but the university of illinois now give you a great example of just in tech so you know some animals can smell a storm from how they feel or the fur is rising on their feel something dangerous and i realize there are times that i'm able intellectual i'm intelligent but i get everything from that feeling tired and i guess you could call me i can tell you i live in new york for a time and i love central park of course everyone and i met a buddy of mine and every single night for weeks and weeks and weeks and about a half hour before sunset you meet up at that hour and we go for a long walk i'm going to go to the place  interrupt this program for you know how many do there interrupt this program and i just said do not go into the park tonight and i just went what and i turned around and looked to see who was behind me there was no one behind me and it said two or three times i'm telling you  of the part and so when i got to the gate i said to my friend i just feel inside i'm not supposed to go to the park tonight he said i don't worry let's walk down of the river we're close to the let's walk down park avenue over the flowers and  and we did it next morning in the new york post headlines like this about seven inches tall person literally murder in the park that night somehow i knew it and i stayed out of the park and i the bottom looked about this i didn't realize of course what they were rigged with trees which are not this big they are this big so we got on the sled and i sat on that and she got between my legs so i could wrap them around her so she  keep going this way die and space will hit that tree first and should be killed and it was one of the scariest moments i've ever had in the life and here's the thing i didn't say when i was up at the top of the hill before we came down i heard this thing  and we want to stop you for the moment because you know the vessel of listening i think what my strength is is understanding that the vessel can take a lot but it has to be fill lists i want to ask you questions like don't you need money to just pay attention to your heart i mean you know you're saying no but i want you to really answer the question for the person who asked that question don't you really need money to be able to think this freely no i don't need money to think that really but here's the other thing i follow my heart and i discovered a guru who is considered like jesus and yet used the miracles  you're speaking about whose name is such a sidebar but he's gone now you got it aged eighty nine or ninety three one of the sweetest and most life human beings i've ever met and he used to walk through the ground go like this and which is considered sacred in india and they give it to be able to cure their diseases so anyway the first time we were lining up to see him coming i thought to myself the people in here act like they're coming to see mick jagger or something in the sevent voice say it's ok to look at me now and i looked up and he was standing there looking at me and he smiled at me and he's a very happy and then he walked on and i thought well i got my little interview with him and i saw a personal connection and he turned around which he was famous for doing as a over the way when are you leaving i said in a couple of hours after lunch he said you should have a private interview with me and bring your family which is you know millions of people won and they're like please please please please and i didn't do anything so we had a private interview with them and he said this to me he said you worry too much about money period just put his finger on this you  about this he said don't worry never rich you know everything billionaires are the only people worth talking about never rich but always enough and it gave me permission that when i have a heart's desire i know that somewhere from a larger spirit in me or if you want to call that dollar you want to call it your cell it will also invent the circumstances that i've often thought of women being pregnant the bottom line is what to do the role she put us you can plan other off but we don't know we can do that so that's how i handle it so i want to recap this as we end this discussion i want to i want to just make sure i got all the important as i see it you had committed it to your truths you have committed to living life the way your heart tells you to live yes exactly and this is guided you perfectly it has also are committed to working with women who are leaders and you have a desire to help them because because thirty years ago the dalai lama was asked by a de this what are we going to do this room is going to end we're going to nuclear war and ruining the environment and dalai lama smile he said how are we what are we going to do and the dalai lama looked at him and said western women will save the world that went dreamy like a shot and i forget coaching more men to be tougher and stronger and all western women and women are feeling tons mostly they feel they cry when they are move they cried when they're upset they s and the women think that stuff is ridiculous and then here's the greatest thing wrong i was mentored by a woman who was a global leader she for forty years was the head of a project which is about ending under normal thumb and it will end in brilliantly as a woman was different from the men and over those years i became fluent in the language of women and the culture which is based on you know i'm not on this endless endless endless thinking and i think for her name  or her name is john holmes she was the eggs she was the president of the global under project and she has impacted the lives of millions and millions and millions of people and you and i probably will live to see it as only ten years of our children will go whine about robin anybody die of starvation you don't do that that's just ridiculous and she's the one who brought that into it and she's one of the most extraordinary people in the world and the thing that i saw that her was the and don't yell when they put a p s in feeling women here sure yeah women will lead the world because they have relationships built into them what's not build into women as first class and that's and they're brilliant and they're intelligent and men make them around port au she cried again don't be a girl don't cry if we don't do any of that here's our emotion we're not you and i become a full human being doing that so do i think i'm a girl you act like you're up now i've become the best father in the burbs i've become someone that women really trust and i've become someone who is holding for the next leadership in the world will  and we've destroyed the world with the way we've done and if i and we murder who we blow up things and women just like that's what's going on with these people so i want the people who are in charge of that to be interest but thank you for letting me say that a lot of men are feeling intimidated by the idea that it's the woman's tongue yet we have a more inclusive concept as opposed to being wian or the other yeah well one of the things i have going on with some of the women leaders is they're doing the same thing that men have done to women to men you know on any and see the thing when i see  by one of my biggest prayers for thirty years and coaching women is to have men open our hearts again i'm very rare earths and a master of the whole starvation conversation because i've been in one hundred for all those years and when a person is in starvation they don't feel anything and that's what has happened to us men and regarding our heart so forget that get the job done and you've got to kill them you've got to do this and you know you know in our sports teams y slaughtered at other team i don't want anyone to be slaughtered and we use that conversation but there's nothing like oh i'm eternally grateful i love you with all my heart muscle man is looking for sex usually and that's so small to give to a man you know what i mean it's like we're people that same boy had the same things that any girl had when he was born they love the feeling they love this they love the touching in the face of love being kissed the and i know that when i really talk to a man intimately i know that men don't want to they wonder why are in this ridiculous thing about ninety five percent of all the mayhem in the world is caused by men not w but candace can we work together as people is it possible i mean is it is it i work with women i do not work with i'm not a drag queen excuse me for saying they're fun to but i work with women and i'm considered to be a gentleman and i'm considered to be a really good father my children adore me because i have an open heart and a lot of men are just of their rules yeah i want that for every single man on earth it aren't the rules what put us here you know the fact that you can be free is because the highways are built the roads are built the bridges are built the buildings are built isn't it that which gives you freedom no not what gives you is this the conversations i have with myself the beliefs that i believe the things that i won't act with my true desire or with that i'm terrified that someone will think  something me and all the ways that we men have turned into prosecuting attorneys for not having a great time and i know it's on us so you know people as they will want to pass a law about that because it doesn't work i'm telling you if dies and the next we must not allow starvation to occur but i know that people listening will say but here in the west where we don't have starvation isn't it because men are the way they are isn't it because of the societies that have been built to protect us here as compared to places where that does occur with the flies roaring across the articles that's what the c except men have also been really nasty movement and then of passed laws against women and when men have not acknowledged women and all they want to do is fight and now my target with women is a lot of the women leaders are saying i'll join the fi i'm done fighting i don't want to live in a world where people are fighting anymore i'm done with it can you hear that i'm the only man i know in the base of the earth is done with fighting gun so i know ok but you're very you you've made you've made your case  go until a slightly bigger question how do you explain the model of cessed that is so present here and so not present in places where men live in their arts there aren't many places where men live in their hearts and clothes that i know is why that's why i thought i would go and live there because the hawaiian men our culture a didn't have their heart and i talked with a couple of big guys on the beach one evening big muscle guys they were the sweetest kindest people i have ever met because in their culture they are trained they are their parents and their grandparents wouldn't put up with them being people that training in the white american culture they wouldn't put up with it and i think i'm moving to hawaii that's where and i did try it and i realized my life was still back in san francisco because i had a lot of work i mean to do and i'm here for a bigger game than making money i'm here to see the world that we want to show up what do you hear if you know what i mean i'm tired of billionaires being the only ones who get the headlines i'm tired of the war based headlines i'm tired of join the fight i don't want to fight and i'm never going to do it again period and that's what it takes it takes for someone including this one and that one and that one does then i'm say i'm done you can smack me hard to say hello to me shake my hand because my heart and my heart takes me to the best place possible it takes me to my heart's desire and here's how i get my clients i don't do big advertising things like that the blogs and forty announcements on base book i him because you are a delight to talk to i can't wait to have another conversation i can't wait to see the mail about this particular issue thank you so much bill man he is a a film and based thinker and strategist