everyone around you i'm sure there are people listening to that saying it's not selfish it's not it's not inappropriate yet and that's how women have been conditioned  listen if you take care of yourself first you're healthier you're more buyable you're clear your more focused you're stronger and you have the ability to bring your gifts in a way that doesn't happen when you're  depleted well there's an argument for that but i say that we're acculturated this way how do you learn to push yourself for us to choose me as you said well you know what practice practice practice change the dance with people and they won't love it because we teach people how to treat us and so it's really about getting clear within yourself that if everything's energy  and let me transmitted a tracks then the stronger and the more powerful you are the stronger more powerful people and experiences that you'll call it that's the good news the interesting news is some people will fade away and that's what we're afraid i don't want to lose you i don't want to i don't want you to leave because i'm shining and i and i and you think i'm too much but the truth is that somebody can't hang in your too much miss they don't belong well let's get specific because i want to make sure you know because some of our some of that is a broad stroke i mean i don't think that what you mean by too much that's that's really what i'm trying to get your to bulled you're to love your to you know your you know you're trying to stand out too much you know i work with a lot of women i coach a lot of women and it's like they pull back their energy they don't they don't visible they don't want to be too bright because they don't want people judging them and i'm like step up step out risk bring it because if you don't you're depriving someone or  people of the gift that only you can deliver i want to name any names but i've taken courses you know you and i share a lot of her same interest in transformation i've taken courses where they say the male ego requires us it like you know what it's like we can be supportive we can be loving but why does that require pulling back your energy why should anybody be required to pull back there in g i d l y why not all of us bring the best all of us bring our high energy all of us bring our intelligence and then collaborate together so that the masculine and feminine which we all have a part of then we get to soar and you know maybe we would be seeing some of the interesting things on the planet we're witnessing well ok so you're saying that again those that can't take it might fade away and use you seem to have some thoughts about why men having power at home ed work is that really possible to have power in both of those circumstances if you're a barry diller with children is that really reasonable to think that you could have added all yet now the thing is that you have to have a partner willing to grow with you you have to have a partner that's willing to recognize you and see you and honor you i mean my husband and i have been together twenty three years and prior to actually a lot of frogs think they were got the answers because i married their potential or i lived with their potential or whatever but from the moment count saw me he knew who i was and that was like whole i am where i'm going and so i can do the same for him and i think that that's what partnership is whether it's a marriage or someone you're dating or a business person it's like can you see each other's gifts and raise them up you mention practice practice practice is this an evolutionary process to get to the quite that you're at or can happen suddenly both ok if it's evolutionary i  mean the moment i recognized that i shut myself down i was probably one of the greatest chameleon ever known you know i did somebody or i married somebody and i changed what they like but the real me the essence of me would start to come out and then that would create conflict right and so once i realized it's better to bring my authenticity when i met carl i was at that place in my life and that was the good news the interesting news is that it wasn't always polished and it wasn't always graceful you know and i have a warrior woman within me and he's got a warrior man they would jump into the space together but we did a lot of work to learn to communicate because that was one of the things i said i wanted i wanted people in my life that were willing to do the work it willing to step into the fire and and and see each other and out of each other and i think what we're seeing on the planet right now and in our country right now is people afraid to step into the fire together because they disagree or or or there or they're seeing things from different perspectives and so so i think once you get clear about who you are there can be you know the child the children need the masculine and that then they need to see and experience both and so you know i think that that that rule stuff it doesn't just  flow at home it it flows in work i think it was hard to did this business study about women and how they're perceived and how they they pull back their energy men see the women as being brash and too bold in and too convoluted into emotional and the women are like you know you know and one of them only one in a rule of boardroom and they're not listening to me or they cut me are they you know and so so the thing is is that the roles that look like i'm taking care of the kids and i should be the one who acquiesces and and submit goes into the boardroom and it's like why can't we are bring our brilliance why can't we all bring our gifts and  and nurture the child or the business why does it have to be somebody on top and somebody below i think we have to examine this deeper because i think some ben are in fact worried that they are losing their position in life what is it for men to gain why women in fact get their power in a way you're speaking of rather loving nurturing support bonus communication heart centric dialogue i think that they were afraid of losing it because it was it was presented to them from birth as a power state but the truth is that when when you are in partnership and collaboration which i really think is the model of what's emerging here when you're in that state th it's in that book just loving sit tell the microscopic truth learn to do that in relationship and everything but and i think that that's that's what men get that's what women get we get to be in a field of authenticity unlike anything we've ever seen before you have not just a great deal of power since i've heard you speak and i've seen you perform you bring excellence to your life i want to know a little bit about your personal discipline you are a singer you teach spiritual work and movement talk a little bit about how you got to this place what brought you to the arts how you use them and how do you how we can learn from them so i was abused as a kid there was a lot of violence in my childhood and my father was my biological father was an alcoholic my stepfather was a pedophile and and five generations of women who'd been abused and traumatized and so that was the norm and so when i got old enough to understand that i was recreating the patterns of my family then that i was the common denominator i had to do something for me so i went there being and i went to school and you know a degree in spiritual psychology and all the stuff but what i learned is that most the time when you're doing their pubic work it's with the head it's like you're thinking and you're talking in your processing but the body part it's like where everything's in code it kind of gets placed over there on the shelf and i'm like well creativity if music's talks to the heart if you move meant a lot of the body to express energy because my therapist said you need to move in the gym didn't call me so i was walking and then i started watching with music and drums if you look at the research on drums you will find that drumming balance is both him a spear's of the brain balances blood pressure balance a muse systems and so i started saying well when i teach what if i bring in drums what if i bring in music what if i bring in the mind body connection so that people are having the whole experience and then when i sing it's like you know they say in churches that when choir is saying it's they're singing the prayer twice right i mean it's so so instead of just talking and teaching what if i'm singing also so that hits another layer of the person and what i find is people respond to that from different perspectives you have you don't just do this and you do that well so what you  say you have to do is special do you have any special group that allows you to do all the things that you've got bestselling books you are more than a great singer you are five as to it and you move your teach  so you must have some difficult schedule during the day what's it look like my spiritual practice is a non negotiable i i spend the first hour to an hour and a half of my morning meditating reading journaling thing just to open my body and get a line and i think that that's important and you don't have to do it my way but i think spending time with yourself every tuning to yourself allows you to hear your inner guidance and your intuition to be able to act on it and you spoke about excellence excellence is my one of my values and so whatever i'm working on it's like i have to be one hundred percent committed it has to like me i have to be passionate about it and it has to be an absolute clear thing that i will do to completion and i will do it well so that everybody that receives one of my products received you know it's the way i would want to receive the product so it's a poor balance for you excellence and something that deeply but what about time management working in a large spirit of community i was speaking i was teaching i was doing all this stuff and i went to the doctor and the doctor said your adrenals are headed towards failure and you need to quit your job and i'm like you got my job and he said well you know quit your job but you're like right and i'm like oh this is serious right so i took a sabbatical and during the sabbatical i got that my whole identity was in one idea what i produced and that that that my deep desire to give in to serve is wonderful and i've got to find time to choosing to love me to nurture me so now what happened in my life is i have an office and i see in person coaching clients on tuesdays and thursdays and when states i'm home and i do virtual and then when i speak i schedule around there there's always a date night with my husband there's always time for the gym and my trainer there's always time for massages and spot things because they feed my soul so i challenger them and one of the things i tell people i coach is that calendars for you tube is not just for backups and so i put me and my husband on first this is just divine i think when i get to talk to an author who lives what they preach is so third trimester of light and i planned to be here a while and i know that if you do not keep care of yourself then then you get to leave in interesting ways and so there was a man who wrote a book called younger next year and then he wrote when younger next year for women right and it was all about that that that exercise is something that you have to do you have to nurture your body you have to ignore or change your mind and i guess i it's like i cynthia also brings out her great work in song and prayer times a week to fight we sit down and cry we let  i'm cynthia jane and i have a deep belief that prayer is a powerful tool join me in a prayer of clear leadership i get thanks in this moment that we are coming together to lift up leadership everywhere leadership in our families leadership in our careers leadership in our governments leadership in every aspect of life on this planet we're calling forth clarity and a willingness to understand that we are interconnected as humanity and so clear leadership is about choosing the people choosing the health choosing the well being choosing the abundance for all absolutely lifting up the awareness that as we work together amazing things transpire on this planet and so i am grateful for every leader who has opened their hearts and is aware that in this moment love is the answer to every question healing takes place because we honor and respect one another i give thanks for this truth and i just released this word i know it is good and clear leaders are coming forward in extraordinary ways and so