this guy you were you got going on like when i was in high school i was like please sports and the girls will love you and i'm like yeah and i play a lot of sports well ok let me just tell you this i missed i grew up in a very small town  you got lost and walled in there's a main street oh yeah well then you get like two gas stations competing against each other for your affection and when normal business is compete each other like a target and wal mart is not near as deep and passionate as lonely people on the prairie like they is not just for your money if you just went in and said i acknowledge your existence they would let you take the gas for free they just sit in his deeds of warm gaze of a stranger is all you sometimes you get freaked out you go into a little town day there's that guy who's got his hand in his pants like this i don't know what this is and they're staring at you don't be afraid they're just trying to contain their excitement maybe holding their pants on i don't know but i went to a little town a walled in and i'm not listen i'm not saying our football team was oh you're right ok but you still were talking to me but that guy left and he asked the question how he did in sports when he was jared by the way hey everybody hey they say we don't have an mc should just go up there and that's is a good first name for it my brother my brother poor kid my parents had him very young before they had a lot of like frontal lobe suggestions and then they named him peter is this i don't know he's he's like the toughest dude now like he's boy named sue incarnate like we've moved or a new school been walled in he's as paste a third grader and i remember standing outside the classroom and hearing the teacher do that reverse thing with the name for attendance and he was actually saying is there an peter in the room it was there is an easy peter in my my brother just slinking down the back of the class of you just setting him up for a lifetime of bullying with that terrible name but he was charity way by the way and it's on twitter it's like jared i used to have some great pneumonic devices like you know jared from subway that kind of went wrong and and then there's the jewelry store i don't want to besiege some retailer on t v but they had some issues last year and i got jared cushion or like there's just not a lot really  what you're looking at right now and i apologize but this is the best jared they could get yes this is it i let me do some stand up comedy and the room is awesome the like being here i actually got to interview the flobots about twelve years what was when the d n c was coming here and they had the song handlebars and stuff and so i had this podcast and my friend was a friend who knew the flobots and they're like yeah you can talk to him on your podcast and i was feeling really good and then they were on jay leno the night before and i got so scared i just like you know you try to tell yourself they're just people you know they wear pants i don't know they do i guess and they're rock stars i'm not sure but and so i'm interviewing him and i i was too afraid to tell him i had a bad connection so i didn't i didn't know what they were saying so i didn't know like they would say yeah we want to sing a safe for democracy and i was like rave about calligraphy i mean i had no idea i am so happy i saw them in the hallway they don't remember that at all of course but it was so good for me to tell them do you remember the guy who was doing the podcast in his basement ten years ago i didn't know what you were saying so it's sort of a nice ut he started to stand up comedy i was one of can i cuss can i cuss i don't think so because the first time i did comedy here they gave me a document i had to sign it said i couldn't and it was so flattering i don't think i know that i'm not going to do i'm not going to waste it but let me just tease as i should do on the media tease that there's a meaningful cost in your future all right that's like somebody predicting you could have a kid but  there's a meaningful cussen your future nobody's terrible when you have kids it's so ironic like the one time in your life you really need to cos there's your genetic contribution to the world that can't find its use it just took off like you want to jackson pollock the room with epithets  sunday you know and i like dad has tourette's like you know it's like just constant constant battle it's like women like my wife if she was pregnant she couldn't drink it what a terrible torture the one time you'd want to drink is when somebody tells your human going to crawl out of your nine months like i would be hammered all the time women are so much tougher women are so much tougher police get over the ladies dude pulls a rabbit out of a hat and he gets a gig in vegas all right women have babies all the time and we just think it's gross we're like ok don't tell us about it all right i'm not going to pay fifty dollars like i did camp david copperfield but that is terrible i talk about cussing but what i'd like to train a horse warming holiday story but i'll do that at another show at another time what i would like to do i want to wrap it up since this is public t v i want to wrap it up with a with a bit of a public service announcement and that is this i'm from don't do that especially those clowns you know the lane is going to end like for miles it's like no mosfet in lane gone and they still and if you ever seen people they try to make them so skinny you're like the cars pulling it with them and you let them a and you're like they're going to give me the wave because i just save them no wave no wave you know i just get crazy like i start thinking terrible fots about that terrible stick figure family in the back of their minivan like i thing hand on the steering wheel this so if you're if you're walled in again and you want to fit in everybody is going to be doing that to you it's weird at first like they're casting shooting spells on you but it's just that was a slightly meaningful cause feels krait feels great kids you can hear me now you little shits but daddy's cousin on the t v all right but this this here if you're out in the country it's and it's not like a huge thing you know out of pez dispenser just a little like or and i'm also a mot thank you for everybody for being here i absolutely love denver open media and i hope that everybody comes together as we have tonight to help them in the future with ideas that they have about i don't know renting the space or creating per production or letting people costs on the internet because that's probably where they're going so i hope that all can be a thing and i'm going to be the emcee for the next person is orlando gill back there are you ready orlando