welcome to new beginnings with care and where we celebrate the creativity courage and wisdom of people creating change we highlight those who charge you problems make you life and career choices and face turning points welcome to new beginnings with karen dell i am so pleased to have with me denise yes a fat who is an author and executive coach will be talking about her book and about things that are going on there are new and exciting here all excited about it what a full wonderful so tell us a little bit about yourself first and kind of your progression in career well i started off in the corporate world resources and i worked with organizational fecht and this and of late i've been an executive coach for a number of years and so i get to work with a lot of wonderful people and helping them grow wonderful wonderful i enjoy executive coaching for that very reason i equate it to the little light bulb goes off you know in their head and you can see it in their eyes that oh i got this concept in slike  full yeah it is i live for that so i completely understand your path and you know how you got to do what you're doing so tell us a little bit about the book  which i think is so cool the power of choice and the six steps that you need to take so tell us a little bit about that and first of all how did that come about did it come about through your you know your corporate career or was it something that you learned through your coaching or is it something that was a burning desire that you just said i got to write a book about yes yes and yes absolutely i mean throughout my corporate career i did a lot of help team to a strategic planning so i was helping them make choices about the business with executive coaching i was helping them make choices on how to be more effective leaders how to be more effective at management and choices have been a big part of my life for a long and i woke up and i remembered everything except the second c and i thought was that second c but i mentioned the idea to a fellow coach of mine who i respect a lot who ended up being my contributing author john chancellor one and he said you have to write this this is such an exciting idea this will help so many people and i said john i don't i don't know how to write a book  paperback ok so no so let's go through which each letter means because each letter you're saying has a meaning so what does the first see of choice so the first see of choice is being really conscious conscientious kind of what you want to happen and what is the problem you're trying to solve what is the opportunity that you're going after what do you want to change and help pick a priority is it to change and are you ready to face the difficulties of change because sometimes we say we want to do something but we don't really want to do it you know if there are obstacles involved so so it's being very you know aware of what you want to change and so that's the first c is to to be really conscious about what change you want to make yeah the second letter is eight yeah and that's being hopeful about it what do you hope to achieve what something and you become your own inspiration and you become very empowered when you say this is what i want to achieve and this is this looks like success to me yeah then vision it's the vision it's very powerful goal setting this is what it is and then even putting it in present tense like you have it already yeah you know there's that whole law of attraction yes and hopeful you know it's been proven that rel it really a powers you inspires you to make it happen and so that's a key part when whenever so you have a problem and now you're setting it in the hopeful ok what do i hope to achieve you're putting  what possibilities you want to consider to achieve that that hopeful statement right yeah that's the goal we close ourselves off so quickly so often  possibilities and i really want i really want to get crazy you know i really want people to get crazy about what i think open to consider right you know not just this or this but this this this this this and maybe even not this is i don't know and ask yourself why not ask yourself why why why why do what does it have to be that way why can't i consider that why can't i write really being it's that openness and i just opening your heart opening you know it's really divergent thinking and it's so important to have that step when we were going through and trying to make a change yeah absolutely absolutely and so the so the eye is all about gathering information becoming informed and that's where we start to limit our possibilities so open we're you know divergent informed you  know i i think it's informed kind of like the the potter and with the hands shaping the clay you know and our information helps shape our decisions and so becoming well informed  about a possibility will help you decide is that right for you and not right for you validating that information making sure you're not in decision right ok and then the second see that you had trouble for the dream is really conclusive because now that we've opened ourselves now that we've become informed what we  maybe maybe that was in the dream and i remember it but really it's what do we conclude you know now that we have that now that we know enough what what's her game plan right what are we what path are we going to conclude to follow or what are we going to commit to follow and so it's putting out what does that look like what does what you know what does it look like for us and what works best for us and there's all kinds of ways to conclude what to do you know there's there's searching on her console there's you know searching our values there's if it is if it's a group decision you know there's voting there's weighted voting there's all kinds of weight decision trees there were you know i could i could write a seven read a separate book understood clearly what to do and how to write but but that's the part of conclude yes it's to really put the game plan together put the action plan together  figure out what path is best for you and how you're going to pursue it ok in the execute ok execute i always say a choice is not a choice unless you follow through with it that's true and the only way to follow through with it is to executing to a restaurant sure so let's say you go to a restaurant because you're hungry that's your problem you're conscious that you're hungry right right and so then you hope to get something that will save that appetite absolutely and that will be yummy and delicious philly's got to be yummy yummy and you are open to things on the menu and you're informed because you're reading oh look this salad comes with right you know peppers right whatever so so you're gathering information right then you c clude ok of all these things this is what i'm going to order and then you know execute which is comes by order you eat it right and hopefully you get what you hope to go you know about what that you're sated that's  i mean we go through that process so quickly in our mind without even thinking about it that but for the bigger decisions yeah we labor day labor and so what this book is all about is how to help you through that labor how to help you through the challenges of each of those steps yeah and how to help you get through them so the choices you want to make out of reality yeah this is wonderful i love the concept and i love that you actually had the pathway in a that that is awesome and i really you're getting good room sleep i mean it's rare that i can remember my dreams and i am i am really dead when i'm sleeping i'm just can't but  the fact that you can remember is very very powerful there are so many ways i want to go with this the first is i can see fear is fear is something that i don't really have personally so but i know a lot of people with fear i've coached a lot of people who have fear doubt is the thing that i have so in each of these steps there are obstacles yeah yeah absolutely so for some people it's going to be fear for some people is going to be doubt and for some people it's going to be overwhelm yes for some people it's going to be i don't know how to do that you know so whether it's openness each one so how are there remedies in here of how to overcome that because as you present it you know everybody loves that it's apple pie but the reality is you said for the bigger decisions not just about what you're going to eat but for the bigger decisions to really make this something that's going to change your life yeah you've got to get beyond the apple pie yeah you got to get beyond the apple pie and each one we stop ourselves yeah so i wonder how do you respond and i don't want to go through the letters to do that but you know the overall question because this is a great thing right and i think what i do in this book is besides going through the process of trace i go through the psychology of it there and so you know is your as you said at each of these points we stop ourselves or we can stop ourselves for all sorts of different resets and so i talk about tips on how to empower yourself i talk about tips and how to have one part that i ask how big is your butt and how can you get over that right and so yes every step along the way i address one of the obstacles you may be facing and how do you get over those one to go on to them the next step and and i have exercises in the book tell guide you through and i have lot packed into it one to help guide people through you know you know making choices is tough it is tough to end and what i find is that as i talk to people about it it's interesting because some people earlier so so different parts of the process are difficult for different people absolutely and and it's interesting because as i talk to people say i hope you get stuck in this i always could never just i want to do i always you know what it takes me two years to figure out you know what i want to do or i'm really not good at execution you know like i have these great ideas right i can't follow through and it's interesting because you know people know where they're having the most difficulty and and said this is it helps guide them through how to get through that right yeah right so let's talk about the psychology what is it that helps people navigate those hurdles those obstacles what's the turning point i know this is a broad question and yet as you you know you and i both shared it could be fear could be doubted could be i just don't know what to do but what is it that hopes that psychology is an open mind is it being fearless is being a risk taker what is it is there one thing or there are multiple things yeah to help them well i don't hate it to you know what makes you feel disempowered to make choices versus empowered to make choices and all the things that you can do to bring back your power and and move forward as because unless you feel that unless you feel and power to make the choices to drive yourself through this process you want that's right and so there's all kinds of things that can be done to increase your brazillian see to increase your empowerment and you know whole bit you could learn how to learning how to focus more learning how to take baby steps versus you know there's a whole list of things that i could go through but there's there's if you do any one of them it will move you forward yeah you know you don't have to tackle everything at once yeah but even even learning and how to do one of them effectively and really you know who organize in yourself more is i know what i do when i have a messy desk i don't feel in control i don't feel that i have the power to like i really like oh my god and i have  have to organize in order to feel back in control right what that's all about i can't even make choices until i can see through you know the we and just something like that and knowing that of yourself and knowing what it takes for you to feel empowered is very important and so it kind of takes you through how do you do that yeah so what i hear and you haven't said this word but this is the word that comes to mind there's a sense of you need to have control empowerment is taking back something that you feel that you don't have yet and so in when i talk to clients and over the years i've done this particularly where there's change that they have not initiated there's a sense of being lost what do i do now i you know i thought i had security and i don't feel secure anymore yet particularly if you know something changes in their in their job i'm speaking of primarily and you know they said i really didn't expect that to happen yeah and so one of the first things you know i didn't know the choice model but i followed it yeah you know in my coaching is to help people feel well i understand listen knowledge what's happened but you still have choice yeah i've used the word yeah you still have choice what we need to figure out is what choices you have yeah you know you can either accept what's happened learn how to navigate through it right reject what's happening make a choice to leave the organisation but you still have choice right so that would be part of this psychology that you're talking about yeah and if we think about psychology of choice you know there are three i mean it's a it's a continu can go from no control i can't control the weather you know i have no control the weather right i like to use a example of my my daughter there was one time where she did not want me to take her picture but i had the camera there's indirect control so maybe she could have influenced me to give her the camera maybe she could have done something to get no that's into a control can we influence what can we in terms of our situation or other people what can we influence and then there's direct control we have complete control over something right you know i can control what i choose to wear right today right where we have direct control and it's a continuum is old and but i think you make a great point too in terms of even if things happen to us even if we have no control over the company merging or a health issue right or something where we don't possibly have any control over oh we have we always have control over how we react yes we have control over how we react and what we want to know what we want to do next and as long as we know that initially you don't but once you get grounded yeah and you know you're conscious and you're a hopeful and open it changes defining what that looks like and you know what are you open to are you open to moving across country to achieve are you open to taking a smaller salary but with the potential further growth you know what are you open to it's really opening it was interesting because i did a weapon on this the other day and the goal of the person i was working with was to write a book and i said what do you up until she goes what do you mean what am i off into i want to are you open to self publishing or i want to go through you know regular publish where do you open to write and sometimes we just don't even know we don't know think about it that's right and that's where we ask we can ask others to ask others to chime in we could google things right you know  but also we close our selves on to much but so you know be open first and then in your information gathering maybe you'll find something else you're open to right and that's ok right i loved your because again i visual so i loved your few minutes left and i want to talk about your hope and your new beginnings for twenty seventeen what are you hoping for well i hope to work with more great people because i love the clients i have now wonderful writer so what's until we do have a few minutes would soon tilled in this audition can you share so the audition is all about the theme of the ted talk that i'm auditioning for is about embracing our diversity to change the world oh you know changing the world and so what i did was i took the model of choice and instead of saying six steps to get what you want out of life it's six steps to help you change the world because it's the same six tabs and i mean conscious of where do you want to make an impact ever in the world and what do you hope to achieve what difference do you want to make right you know in the world and then being open to what you know what you can achieve in the end what  are the possibilities there and again informed in and conclusive right and execution and i just took it all and said you know it really works for changing the world as well  and we can all have such a positive impact on the world and there's so many different areas then we could help move in and help people out right and and we all have to decide for ourselves  via you know you can watch the news and make a list you know ten miles long right issues that are facing us in this world today and we all of us as individuals have the power to make an impact  that's so exciting you know i mean i and i i have my own causes that i focus on right you know and it's just so exciting to me that everybody in this world cannot only live great lives for themselves but can impact and and help others live a great lives as well i can even add to that we're out of time but i know there's a great way to end denise thank you so much for being on the show and sharing your model of the power of choice and i can't wait to see this to talk i know you do great things scared thanks for having me again and it's amazon or also if you can go if you want to go into a bookstore you could ask and you could order it oh wonderful thank you thank you all right well thank you for tuning in