problem so close to you audiences can be downright staffs who did a show last week as somebody in audience talked about my mom for my entire ten minutes and i was at my own family reunion long as i am fucking your mama you don't give me this shit and i get chill the last out here and go get me some oh damn we ha thirty seven pigeons she walked up to me hoping that one day talking about love larry i'm not a proud parent of a two month old puppy and i was like wow sharon congratulations i knew you were a bitch but i didn't know that you c i walked out on a really bad movie before the movie was even over with i went to see a movie the other night that was so bad the not only did i walk out on the movie but spit on the screen before i  mother was limping around the room in a long black robe serve and snacks and looking like she was about to buy the motherfucker i thought i was being waited on by the un did i watch the entire movie making the sat across  entertainment right outside my front door i live across the street from a stripper she gave herself the stripper name of that bitch over there at all a bad bitch over here that she should change  my friends used to take me trick or treating just to watch me cry as they ate up all my candy for my tenth birthday my parents gave me our stolen bicycle and dad they called the police on me and it was rough and ironically one point in time i wanted to work with angry people for a livin i don't know what the fuck i was thinking but i used to work at that anger management clinic but alameda county employees yes some volunteer work with some men allegedly and use last week and one of the teenage boys came up to me and he say why they called dogs man's best friend and i was like  should happen to me if i could change anyone single retain never touch a cigarette shoot me cigarettes regular terrible and things really don't be bad you know like i will look i moved here from boston you know i mean about two months and you know i'm looking for a job and you know i mean it it's tough you know but then like  school but my oldies are more like ninety's hip hop i like him like the red man who tanks and the forty's and the snoops and all that but you can't turn the radio on now everything is just drugs and sex and put in some miles but like i don't want let's me feel bad and you know me and it's not is not the drugs like like like drugs that like i've done now i'm not saying that i'm a drug addict or have drug those behaviors i'm just be going to ask if you have been watching the news no me neither because well maybe you've noticed if you have a lot of people are disappearing you know first it was the malaysian jet they just disappeared and then the nigerian disappear i think there's this whole island of people that have disappeared there are people that we have buried that people think are still alive like biggie to jimmy morris and jesus and all the people that we've been but they're everything up get me off track and he was saying thank you guys for having me it's my first time here  my best friend just got married to his high school sweetheart and her parents are insisting that she finishes the twelfth grade first but that's ok because i'm also my my cousin just returned from a second year in iraq just last he was home safe he was in a soldier he's a backpacker so wasn't dangerous or anything like that but and today this morning in fact i got a letter from the city of san francisco after seven hard months of litigation i finally won my heel on a traffic citation and it's been it's been wonderful because besides besides that it's one of the best cities in the world you know outdone by berkeley of course because on any given night you can go to your local biker bar and your bouncers will be out front reciting shakespeare it's pretty it's pretty cool job much better than mine in fact i'm supposed to be at work right now and the only reason i'm here right now is because i know exactly when my bosses it's eight o'clock on a wednesday night fifty five year old married man with two kids  be he's not getting a happy ending massage and that's ok you know i know that because i spend more time clocking his schedule than actually working in fact  know when he gets into the office when he leaves what time he goes to lunch who is going to lunch with what time he goes to the bathroom and who is going to the bathroom with i and recently it's been paying off because for example i'll get in the office at five am on sundays and he's there and some nights i leave at ten p m and he's still there so i'm not sure what's going on with his marital life but i think he's living out of the office and at this point i'm convinced that i can get away with sleeping with his wife no that's that's awful i'm a i'm i was i was told not to say that because i'm in a relationship and she's she's really exactly a great girl when i wrote this she's very determined strong willed and so much so in fact that she asked me to propose  and it's kind of a shock because we don't even live together and i think that would be a better more logical first step which is also a big commitment obviously because i got four hundred square feet of apartment space instantly cut in half not to mention all the fuzzy pink pillows and scented candles and it would probably really irritate my roommates last landlord slash parents so that's all i got my name is reza thank you guys for having me