energy psychology and emotional freedom techniques are not substitutes for medical care always consult with your physician and healthcare provider regarding any health care question individual results will vary responsibility for your health if you choose to try any of the energy techniques taught on tapping was gentle the cause of all negative emotions is the disrupt the body's energy system hello everyone welcome to tapping with john i'm joan kaylor and on today's show i'm going to talk about resistance before i get into my topic i just want to mention what's going to happen for march april and may march i'm going to have my good friend mandy frager who is the director of autism services for highland hospital in fayette green county i'm really excited about this show because we're going to talk helping children on the autism spectrum so please send me your questions at joan kaylor at hotmail dot com or tweet me at joan kaylor hash tag tapping with joan or however you want to communicate on my facebook page tapping with jim and because this is going to be a really important show in april i'm sorry in march and then april my good friend rene takacs will be here talking about pet communication and i will have a surprise for our last show in may so today we're going to talk about resistance i think this is a really important topic because what happens if someone you love does not want to go for counseling or what happens if you yourself have gone to counseling and it hasn't helped or it hasn't helped much so i'm going to share some ideas with you today that may be helpful first of all i'm doing a powerpoint presentation today so resistance someone says or a loved one says counseling doesn't help i won't go or there's nothing wrong with me this is your problem i'm sure you've heard those words before if this has been a part of your life resistance another thought is i have been in counseling for years nothing changes any of this sound familiar yet resistance is the fear of getting well it's also the fear of changing are some thoughts that people go through about resistance i'd rather stay miserable because i know what that is that's for miller it's too scary to get well it's too scary to be happy it's not possible to be happy no one in my family was ever happy so why should i be happy i don't deserve to be happy see all the negative thoughts that go through someone's mind ok so these are all what i want want to call mental blocks towards getting will towards going for counseling so if you have a loved one that's going through that thinking or you yourself are going through that thinking here's what you do if you are a family member or someone who has a loved one that won't go for counseling you go to counseling ok you go to counseling to learn what to do you learn how to take back your power from the disease whatever your loved one is dealing with that they won't go for counseling you go to counseling and find out about the problem about the disease and what you can do about it you go to counseling to heal from the trauma that the disease has caused you go to counseling to learn how to set boundaries you go to counseling to learn how to say no ok because i would imagine that one of the things that gets in the way of families with loved ones is guilt what did i do to cause this you didn't do anything to cause this and even if you did however unintentional it was you can go to counseling to find out if you did cause it what you can do to turn it around there is a familiar phrase and i'm sure everyone out there has heard and it's called enabling if you continue to enable someone with a disease or with the problem through guilt they're not going to get any better and you're not going to get any better it's a vicious cycle so today i'm going to talk about how to find a therapist one of the reasons some people decide not to go to counseling is because they've been through it before and they may have been through twentieth century average counseling and i think by all most of you out there know my thoughts and opinions on twentieth century counseling talk therapy alone is not enough that's why i named my show tapping with joan unless you can find what i like to call a holistic therapist who incorporates talk therapy along with holistic counseling chances are the person the loved one either has not had much success in counseling or you have not had much success in counseling or you've been totally bored in counseling the counseling i do trust me no one is ever bored ok so here is a website that you can go to and it is the energy psychology website energy psych dot org slash find a practitioner and that will take you to a page where you can locate a practitioner in your area and yes there are several holistic therapists in the pittsburgh area and since this is also on my you tube channel around the world ok so you can go to this page now questions to ask when you're looking for a therapist first of all the business portion do you take my insurance or do you have a sliding scale ok let's get that taken care of right off the bat important what methods do you use in therapy can i reach you in between sessions scene i offer text an e mail support in between sessions do you incorporate fa a question because very often people do want to incorporate their faith and spirituality in counseling but they don't know how to approach it if the therapist is comfortable incorporating faith and therapy you may get a referral from your minister your pastor your priest i know for a fact that the pittsburgh has satellite offices around the pittsburgh area so you can always find a therapist who incorporates faith and spirituality in counseling through that through them what is your philosophy on medication ask them that now my philosophy is medication is always a last resort someone has to be real it in a really a cute critical phase in order to get on medication i'll tell you right now medication for anxiety is not necessary there are so many different strategies that can be used for anxiety and i teach them all through breathing through to happening through energy psychology no one needs medication i don't care how many panic attacks you've had god forbid nobody needs medication for anxiety depression is another matter when you have a serious illness like depression bipolar disorder schizoaffective disorder schizophrenia yes you may need medication especially if in the depression you've had serious thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else yes you may need medication if the depression has not been that serious you may not need medication but my point being medication is not an absolute ok we're going to counseling and put you on medication no medication should always be a last resort particularly with children medication is very very rarely i'd say maybe the last twenty years i've met one percent of my clients have needed medication that are children and teens there are so many other strategies nutritionally stress relief the energy techniques good old fashioned family counseling and talks there be you don't children rarely need medication ok another question to ask a therapist do you do lifestyle counseling for stress exercise in nutrition what is the diet like do you have any type of exercise how do you handle stress these are questions that every serapis should go through with you during an evaluation biggie how long have you been in practice ok have you been in practice a year or two years how long and a very interesting question what organizations do you belong to now if you are talking with someone in private practice you may get them me i'm accessible so you call you right i give you the answers to your questions if someone is with a hospital or agency you may need to make an appointment first with a therapist and interview them ask these questions be prepared go and ask the questions of the therapist to see if they're a good fit for you they could be the nicest person in the world but if they don't have your philosophy or they can't meet your needs then yes you need to continue your search but i wanted to give you a list of questions that i think would be very helpful for you when you're looking for a therapist ok the clincher is for children parents can call up and ask these questions it's not that easy once a person reaches eighteen i know they cannot be forced in the counseling due to the current rules for legal boundaries so that's the heartbreak of that the person if they're eighteen or over they have to be the one to initiate the call so you can encourage them you can provide a list of resources you can help them by being with them when they make that call but you can't make it for them and believe me that breaks my heart because are so many young people who haven't reached twenty one or over yet that really need help from their family in order to make that first call but they do have to make it once they're eighteen so since the show is called tapping with joan what do you do if you have resistance ok so say and they get a phone is going through somebodies mind so i would start out with a set up phrase tapping on the side below the little finger even though a part of me does not want to get well i deeply and completely accept myself or if they can't say i deeply and completely accept myself i am working on accepting myself or in the case of working with children i really love soccer i really love softball i really love swimming i really love that video game but saying something positive with children though you would start out with even though a part of me does not want to get well that would not be appropriate for children that would be for an adult as you become skilled in using tapping and emotional freedom techniques you will discover the reasons or aspects for the resistance and you can tap on them you want to be as specific as possible that is the art of emotional freedom techniques being specific and there is going to be a website that is going to be put up on the screen that you can go to to see a video on e m l free dot com with gary craig he shows you about tapping and being specific because the more specific and fine tuned someone is to the various parts or aspects of the problem the better tapping works ok i want to show you all a really cool book i hope there are some therapist watching out there but this is appropriate for serapis as well as anyone this is a brand new book as i got the hard version because i wanted to show the world this is called clinical e f t handbook a definitive resource for practitioners scholars clinicians and researchers this is an excellent book this has research in it it has chapters on how to use tapping and has chapters for the various aspects of tapping it's like everything you've ever wanted to know about emotional freedom techniques in hardback form of course it's available on amazon and you can get the electronic version for your tablets and all that stuff it's edited by dawson church and stephanie around so they got many many experts together and everybody wrote a chapter on what's important to them for emotional freedom techniques so i highly recommend this book especially if you're a therapist and you want to learn more about emotional freedom techniques so not only do you have this website now that you can go to that e m i free dot com is fantastic and if you want to go to my web site joan kaylor dot com you can click on services you click on the slider that says emotional freedom techniques and that will take you to the link for this website as well ok so i wanted to let you know about that but this is all about today show is about resistance because i think it is so important to learn what to do if you yourself have not moved in the direction that you want to do not give up on counseling please find a therapist that uses the message that we discuss here find a holistic therapist that may use more than talk therapy besides energy psychology there's hypnosis there's e m t r which is i movement desensitisation reprocessing all these things can help you through what ever the situations are in your life whatever the challenges of been whatever the traumas of been whatever the negative thoughts have been that have been planted in your head as a child all these techniques can help move those negative thought patterns and move you and get you and stuck out of the situation you're in out of the anxiety out of the depression what dr nicosia and i talked about last month is about getting unstuck and that of course talk therapy combined with these other therapies can be very helpful for helping somebody move through their traumas their depression their anxiety whatever the problem is that they're working with them to call me if you wish or go to these websites and find a therapist in your area also the very trying of googl google holistic therapist google faith based counseling but you need to take that step to make that first call don't stop going to counseling just because it hasn't worked for you in the past there's someone out there for you that can help you with this and if your family of a loved one don't give up help your loved ones do some research perhaps on your own first and encourage your loved one to go for help and you again you get into counselling and learn how you can help yourself you know the story about when you fly put your oxygen mask on first before i think what we've talked about today has been very important resistance when someone does not want to go for help or if you haven't been help so far is just a way of saying ok i haven't found the help i need yet it doesn't mean that help is not available it doesn't mean that you're not going to find help you just haven't met the therapist for you yet there are trust me when i say there are thousands of there are posts in western pennsylvania which is where i'm located there  of therapist in the united states i don't know around the world if you go to the energy site call a g website you may find someone in your country but i'm telling you that there is hope available there is help available do not give up was all the challenges of there are in this world with all the stress with all the illness with all the tragedies with all the end happiness i am telling you that there is hope available it may be with medication it may not be with medication don't think that somebody is automatically going to want to put you on medication it may not happen they have to do an evaluation to see what it is that you're dealing with because if it's severe enough you may need a little bit of help for a little while it doesn't mean it's going to be the rest of your life it just might be for a little while until you go through the counseling but again with anxiety and panic even if it's severe panic attacks even if you can't leave your house you don't need medications you need to happening you need breathing you acupressure technique but you don't necessarily need medication ok so these are my thoughts on resistance and how to find help ok i hope that you think about what we've discussed today what i've brought to you i hope that you access these resources and decide to try again if you've been in counseling or if you're a family member of the loved one please go and get help for yourself because you need help just as much as the person in your life that isn't well you need to find a place to go for you that you can find peace and that you can vent and that you can discuss what the situation is and learn how to set boundaries learn how not to enable learn how to cope with the illness or the person who is going through this difficult time ok so as usual if you have any questions give me a call and  my numbers on the screen e mail me junking on hotmail dot com got my web site june kaylor dot com is always a way to find me i use all communications on the planet i want to thank you so very much for joining me today and i hear a rumor that springs around the corner so as we enter the last few weeks of this whole renda this winter that we're having in north america i wish you all peace and warmth and all best wishes and we are going into spring that's why i have this slide available with the butterflies on and i want to create something that would help us think of spring thank you so much for allowing me to come into your home today thank you so much for joining on this very important show about resistance please come back next month mindy frager and i will be talking about the autism spectrum and how to help children big big big show ok so thank you very much for joining me today and hang in there spring is