edge my name is a living and i am writing morgan today we are here to discuss body image and self esteem among teen girls self confidence is something that many people struggle with especially in high school students are often wary about what and how they are perceived by others and this is the facts the way they feel about themselves one thing that teens especially girls are concerned with is their appearance this may seem shallow but it can see it can have significant the facts on their self esteem the way person feels about themselves can affect how they act towards others and how their overall personality is while going through high school students self esteem and body image can be either a positive or negative aspect of their everyday life negative body image is often very common because society today makes people believe that they are an attractive unless they fit beauty standards seen in magazines on social media or on t v approximately ninety one percent of women are unhappy with their bodies this leads to low self esteem and insecurity and even deeper more extreme issues such as body dysmorphic disorder depression and eating disorders having a positive body image is about accepting and respecting your body it also means realizing that insecurities and imperfections are part of being human not something to hate yourself or today we are joined by nist this image on a counsellor at a practice called women in balance to discuss the unhealthy effects of negative body image in house from the self confidence thank you so much for joining us today absolutely thanks for having me so i want to start with just what is body confidence well i genuinely think body confidence looks different for everybody so i can kind of speak for me in the body confidence is just feeling really optimistic and positive about our differences so feeling like i can take care of my body are feeling i get deserve respect feeling that i'm open to going and trying new things and just being overall great with who i am and what i am ok yeah so why do you feel that it is so important for teenagers to be educated on positive the like surrounding their body i mean there's a lot of reasons i do think but i think primarily whenever we're not super confident with our body we don't feel really open to going and trying things so especially now when you are a teenager you have an opportunity to try a lot of different things whether that be taking a class or trying out for a sport if we're not really confident in the way that we look or the way that our body is sometimes we hesitate in trying those things so we kind of counterspells out before we even get there so that's why it's really important for teenagers especially to feel great about who they are and do you feel that  struggle more with body confidence and how they look them boys because i know that a lot of the time it's like more centered towards girls but do you think the boys have the same struggles i i do think that boys have the same struggles that society says it's ok for females to kind of express themselves so while boys and girls are kind of presented with this team stressors females tend to kind of express themselves a little bit more so i think we all kind of deal with the same struggles whether that be pressures about body image or just pressure than general but females tend to kind of express themselves or just be more vocal about it yeah so how is someone who is struggling with like maybe not feeling as convert about themselves like improve that well i mean i think the general idea is to try to get ourselves to think a little differently than we have been as humans we tend to kind of lean towards being very critical of ourselves and our natural thought process is what can i improve i think really being able to kind of switch that around and be more focused on the things that we do well the things that we like about ourselves and things that are just in general great about us that's the idea so trying different things that really help us learn to think differently and do you feel that teens are you know these are sometimes like the awkward years for people do you feel the teens are more subject to really being concerned about how they walk and are more self conscious i think that in general teens are going through a phase phase but a period in their life where they're trying to figure out who they are so at this time we're looking towards people things media to figure out who are supposed to be so i think we all deal with it but teens in particular are going through that time their life where they're just trying to figure it out so that's why we see them struggle more so do you think things like in society such as like magazines or t v and stuff are more targeted towards teenagers or i mean i guess i would say so i think we all thieves them but in general teens are definitely looking at these things saying this is what i'm supposed to be this is what i'm supposed to look like this is what i'm supposed to wear and they try to strive for that and then sometimes it's kind of unattainable for anybody so they get very frustrated do you feel that social media because i know a lot and also like social media like the downfall of this generation like there's a lot of negativity towards it you feel that there's any positive things that girls and boys alike can see and social media yeah we have this huge platform to be able to start trends or just be voices to our peers and unfortunately think right now i mean i can't speak for everybody but i think there's a big trend in the bullying there's a big trend in like really trying to fit a mold but we have this opportunity to use these social media platforms to kind of start t be a voice for girls to kind of relate to our boys to relate to so while i think it has a negative aspect we have an opportunity to kind of use it in a positive way so switching the topic a little bit what is body just mor ia body dysmorphia is a clinical diagnosis that we can use to describe people who tend to obsess over certain parts of their body that they don't necessarily like it could be like a specific part whether it's like a body part like a nose legs or it could just be in general i don't like the way that i look do you is there anything that someone who sees in themselves that ok maybe i do obsess a little bit over best part of my body and who they can do to prevent themselves from going into  more drastic like eating disorders and negative aspects i mean absolutely there is a ton of things that we can definitely focus on rather than those flaws that we kind of c n r selves and i'm sure you guys can definitely relate to i think everybody finds things about themselves and they don't necessarily like we can choose to focus on those things and only pay attention to those things about ourselves or and this is my suggestion to people would be really try to find things that we like things that we do well  or things that we just that bring us joy and focus on those things and a lot of times if we shift our fots to that area we feel more positive we feel more motivated we feel more optimistic that so as a counselor how do you like help people and how many people do you get that have issues with this i think in general well let me first answer the first question how do i help people i typically see while i see a lot of children a lot of teens but i also see adults so i have a wide range of people on my caseload now the number of people who come in with struggled in regards to what they look like or struggling with who they are i would think the majority of people have a little bit of back going on yet i do see it more frequently in females more frequently in teenagers but i'm not going to lie to you guys i think that adults also struggle with this is well some of the things that i do is i really work with people on learning how to shift their from that focus or obsession on the things that we don't like to kind of moving towards a positive outlook or an optimistic motivated outlook will do things like trying to identify lists of things that we like about ourselves or modifying things that we actually do whether that be really forcing ourselves to go out and do volunteer work because that makes us feel good so really finding things that kind of boost our mood that's a lot of what i do in session so if someone that is face saying you know just low self esteem are just not like positive body confidence is there anything that they could do on their own that they you could give like tips or tricks on what to do if they don't want to go to a therapy session oh absolutely and i think that a lot of times people void therapy because they feel scary we have to talk about things we don't like so there are absolutely things that you can do on your own one of the first things that i would suggest to somebody would be kind of looking online there's a lot of different websites a lot of different chat kind of areas or forums that you can kind of getting involved and that will kind of normalize the feelings that you're having normalize the thoughts that are going through your head and you can kind of bounce ideas off of other people some of the things that people have tried are like i said kind of engaging and things that make you feel good ultimately if i'm doing something that makes me feel good my mood kind of follows really allowing yourself to talk about and address the things that you like i think a lot of times when we're hanging out with their friends or talking to people were like wait i can't s about myself will think i'm kind of conceited are cocky let yourself talk about those positive things because the more i talk about them the more i believe them and the more i'm focused on them so really letting yourself do that is something that you can do on your own  like i said before kind of making a list some things that i've had people do is create a google doc that they kind of just add to daily about the things that they really like about themselves or things that they're good at let's see there's like there's definitely a lot of different things affirmations i don't know if you guys use those on a daily basis but really adopting good affirmations that you kind of put on your bathroom mirror positive reminding you to stay focused on those good things  those are some i think some good techniques to use so how have you seen the ideas of body image like change over recent years so i have ben i've been practicing as a therapist for about seven years now and in regards to body image and people having concerns of body image i don't think that's really changed i think that that's been a pretty constant people strive to meet the standards that society places on them and they struggle because a lot of time society places standards on us that aren't all i think as kind of time has kind of gone on the standards from society to get more difficult to meet so that's kind of what i see changing our expectations get higher and higher and higher and we get more frustrated and more frustrated when we can't meet them so that's kind of what i've seen over time and in my experience and how have you seen when someone has negative views on themselves how does it affect the better performance and extracurriculars or just like their daily life i think one of the most difficult things to kind of see on the other side a lot of times it prevents people from putting themselves out there taking a risk so they may have this amazing ability or amazing talent but they feel scared to kind of try out for the team or go into a club or put effort into things because it's scary so i think that's what i see the most  right so how have you seen like body positivity like improvements all of your clients oh when they put themselves out there and they have a chance and they have a positive experience it's like the l the i can do this this is amazing i have this experience so once they have that exciting time they're more motivated to try it again so the more successes they have the more optimistic and positive they become i think that i mean and i think that bullying probably is the most i guess predominant thing that i kind of see with people your age especially with social media it makes it easier for a person to kind of be mean not to your face so that happens quite frequently especially with like snap chat when they can disappear people tend to get really courageous whenever they're shooting out some of those mean things so a lot of those negative kind of comments are directed towards people's appearance and what they're doing but i don't really think everybody kind of experiences it it's kind of how we deal with it is the issue yeah yeah all right so earlier we talked about like the positive effects  social media but how can like teenagers specifically like use social media to maybe like encourage like confidence in each other you know i'm all about setting a trend i mean i'm sure you guys have seen sleiman all out but i'm talking like a trend in if i'm going to choose to be positive and motivated i may encourage somebody else to do the same thing so using body positive language or being optimistic about myself or being happy about what i'm doing can so i think in some ways social media can be very helpful in that regard you know i think the positive is kind of like contagious on people like whenever someone makes you feel good about yourself it just makes you want to go there and like do that other people right and if really can't get someone's personality or how they are because it's just words but if someone is being faced with a negative comments about how they look or anything that they post what should they do i mean there's a lot of different options in that regard i guess my brain goes straight to let them know that what they're doing is very inappropriate and it hurts you so it's really important that you let them know hey please stop because at the end of the day if we don't let them know to stop they're not probably not going to so at the very much appropriate for us to say wait that's kind of mean yeah and a lot of times were afraid to do that because we feel like we're going to started giant the throwaway but i think we need to start kind of standing kind of up to those people and saying look this is an ok yeah i mean ultimately i think it's very extreme title or guidance or something we definitely want to get other people involved if it gets to the point where we can't handle it ourselves so definitely don't be afraid to get other people involved if necessary do you feel that there is anything that school specifically could do because i know that a lot of times kids if they are being faced with any whether it's online or not in person bullying they're like oh i don't know if i want to go to having to go get them whether it be like pamphlets or internet videos you know who doesn't like a good youtube to tour over and so if we could make those videos and have them available to students a lot of times oh i don't have to go see a guidance counselor i can just get this information on my own so that might be something even students can kind of provide for the school and ultimately you guys have a lot of power in your school to kind of start movements create clubs present these ideas t administrators and say hey this would be really beneficial and i think when we have outlets we have other people kind of starting that people follow suit yeah i know in our school in the girls bathrooms there is always going to yeah there's always signs that i don't even know there's like  student handwriting only to have it on the air well obviously that made an impact yeah right so i'm sure you guys are the only ones that have seen it everybody have seen it so that's incredible yeah that kind of goes back to like the affirmation use of affirmation yeah that's a really good technique to kind of make you feel good yeah ok so also i'd like getting help like whenever you're having negative views on your own body like how can parents help their kids without parents can help by being that optimistic kind of reminder of hey you are awesome hey this is great and i think a lot of times too we're afraid to share feelings so even parents sharing their experiences or being open to hearing what their kids have to say a lot of times really helps the kid open up to a parent too so being a little vulnerable with the kid oftentimes lets the kid kind of be a little vulnerable with the parent yeah yeah asking questions too is always a good thing  i know of the teenager i'm sure it's like give me life but this is something that a lot of times we would kind of ask for help from our parents i also feel like as like with parents and stuff and even with like sisters or other siblings  you've seen in recent years because you've obviously had a job for longer than i have you seen any stores or companies that have come out and are off the top your have but have promoted body positive yeah i mean unfortunately this is this is the opposite of the way i would promote thinking but i've noticed stores that have done the opposite right so we see in the media in the stores who don't provide sizes for women over the size of and you know so unfortunately i've seen the opposite and i pay attention to the opposite because that's what's presented to me do you guys know of any stories that have kind of promoted that i would say area to change in recent years do you think that change will happen i mean i hope it will happen i think that's a very positive thing for not just teenagers but humans in general and you know being able to find clothes that we feel good in is a very important part to feeling good about ourselves if i'm not able to find those clothes it makes it that much more difficult for me to kind of achieve feeling great so i'm hoping that that happens yeah absolutely i mean in stores like i'll see things that are like one being really discouraged by social media and it's just like oh my gosh no one can even see my personality like should i just delete or do you think that's a leading social media maybe just for a short period of time with improve on conference and all yeah i definitely think that we have to accept responsibility of if i'm letting negativity and i'm responsible for kind of shutting it out so if i'm finding a lot of negativity coming from my social media that's something that i can definitely control right so if it makes me feel better to kind of shut that down for a little bit while i get myself put together yeah absolutely you know we also have the opportunity to kind of black people or remove them from our feet so if we're not ready to fully commit to that delete maybe deleting people from our feed it says the like self care days they are voted those because just like even from school even if you miss one there school just to have a day to yourself like watch netflix do whatever you need to do to still collect yourself absolutely i would never say missed school body for sure self care is something very important that we don't pay attention to you guys have so much going on in your world day to day i mean school takes up eight hours school work extracurriculars you're pretty good you're on the go a lot so really making sure you have that time to just settle yourself and focus on what you need it's very very important all right thank you so much for joining us ironically yet to summarize self confidence is extremely  impactful in regards to mental health this is why it is important to promote high self esteem and encourage body body positivity in people of all shapes and sizes thank you for watching this has been all for today's episode of the