or early adolescence full of problems the knowledge that these difficulties are normal and usually only temporary helps to turn family functions into more constructive channels let's watch some of these youngsters as they spend friday afternoon and evening we'll see what some of the common problems are their own importance by making themselves heard that combination of new lung power change voices and boundless energy is hard on the neighbors hero worship from a far as common a car and home as good as the other boys have are important the gang is impressed by material possessions this post is tom's self esteem to boast about dad's popularity or the treatment is very satisfying  the first one that comes in what kind of car you get i think it is sam doesn't talk much he feels same for saying nothing at least then we can say the wrong thing this is a common method of self protection at home away from the group there are other aspects of adolescent behavior that are annoying to parents the eternal monger taking at whatever is around to eat it's certainly annoying to mother who has plans for what is to be eaten and when but the universal appearance of these adolescent traits leads to the conclusion that they are normal and based on real needs kay is quite mature for her age she's well adjusted accepting her defects and trying to make the most of our assets to wear her hair and clothes according to the latest styles is much more important than to wear them in the most becoming way she's not mature enough yet to read or own judgment the world knows best and she wants to be sure of her place in the world mother may have other opinions of what looks best but of course mother has old fashioned ideas kay's mother is always a little overwhelmed by the extremes to which i suddenly grown up daughter carries her ideas of style if careless and in form of very sloppiness is so deliberate as to be offensive but mother has learned that these things are usually temporary the less said about them the more quickly they wear off abjection often brings friction without any change and half an hour after she has left her friends she's on the phone to them again ok joan is not as independent as katie is perhaps because she hasn't been encouraged to stand on her own feet there is no friction in joan's family life their mother finds it a very good girl not headstrong and flighty like so many of our friends seem to be she takes her schoolwork seriously perhaps too seriously she has high standards for herself and if she falls below them her insecurity and worry are increased jones seems to be coming quietly through these difficult years but the stress and strain are there and results in an almost complete withdrawal from people she does a lot of daydreaming imagining herself as the extrovert that she is not she goes over and over little events in her life reliving her successes and suffering through her failures all over again joan doesn't have emotional outbursts her safety valve is her die or a here she is herself letting off a motion of stadium and clarifying her thoughts about growing up sally prize to avoid girls who are more attractive or have more money or clothes than she has she wants to have friends on her own level you the long conversations irritate sally's mother and she doesn't see the most part of her daughter's adjustment to other people and to herself for sally is thinking out loud as she talks now let's see how the boys get along at home remember sam didn't talk much with the crowd he was more of a listener at home he is more sure of himself his dog provides a great source of comfort and security whatever sam does is all right with him he's always willing to listen to what sam has to say but there are many questions sam wants to as many incidents of the day he wants to share with his parents and then they know where to go and it's all going back home and you know there everybody know that conversational ability on them some day when he is sure of himself outside they may have difficulty in finding out what his thoughts are on the other hand tom who talk so much about his father's achievements seems most unappreciative of them at home and he seems to have no ambition sometimes his father wonders if he's all right mentally he is but early teens are years of an even development that i spurts of mental energy as well as physical and other dimes nothing seems to be happening in reality just as tom's body needs rest after strenuous exercise so his mind needs time to adjust to its new learning rules and jobs laid down to firmly by the top brass make him resentful bill is at that stage just before puberty when children seem to go into reverse psychologists call it a negative phase will you mean to say you haven't finished that lawn yet i'll notice you cutting any vat not a look here young i'm not going to spend that kind of backtalk you're a member of this family and you're going to act like one you finish that long before supper or else too strict an attitude by parents seems only result in more resistance don't doesn't seem to find companionship at home or enough satisfaction from hanging around with his old friends subconsciously he's looking for acceptance and to help with this problems luckily he finds a friend older than himself but a real guy likes to hang around the gas station helping joke on a who runs it joe finds the boy a thorough worker and they have lots to talk about local gossip sports cars even the news of the day bale feels that joe treats him in a more grown up way than his parents he finds it easier to confide in joe and he gets a lot on his chest as they ch but this boundless energy can be directed into useful channels sam and tom belong to the boy scouts like most teenagers they enjoy a constructive activity and a planned group project it can be any community group but organization is needed to ensure that there will be enough boys there to carry out the program successfully while they still need adult guidance during these years the quality of leadership becomes established to be aggressive and bouncy is no longer enough for the leader as it was in trials good they must have skill in both physical and mental activities he's usually slightly bigger or stronger than the average and has a friendly attitude an outgoing personality the leader among adolescents is likely to remain a leader through later life they move out of the sphere of home influence into the community young teenagers feel the need of their own kind they begin to patronize hang because girls are physically more mature than boys of the same age most of the advances in the early teen years are made by the girls the boys really do feel superior to those silly girls but while they pretend to scorn their attention they're secretly planted nothing would make them admit this though subconsciously it takes kay and sally didn't get far with the boys but they found a substitute identifying themselves with a glamorous movie actress always very popular with men give them a satisfaction they couldn't get any other way what about joan doesn't she care for any activity or feel a need to admire and love someone she does but she has her own quiet way of working it out she likes to cook all by herself without direction from mother or the confusion of family meals tonight she's making candy it'll be a present for a music teacher when she's adored for a long time without telling anybody so six typical young teenagers have spent a friday afternoon and evening all of them seem to have problems that worry either them or their parents oh goodness sake sam go to bed explain all of them experienced some parental friction all want independence all of them feel some stirrings of interest in sex either openly or secretly all of them are trying in their own way to adjust to a new set of circumstances and relationships comes parents recognize that they're willing to help in the making of these adjustments as well as showing his interest comes father respect him as a person affairs the way is left open for discussion it tries to be helpful by refusing to recognize his son as an individual with rights and wishes of his own bills father not only fails to get the cooperation he demands but actually widens the gap between himself and build on the other hand comes parents try to handle the problems of growing up in a constructive way they gradually increase his independence at the same time encouraging him to accept responsibility for what he does therefore tom doesn't have to reb the strict discipline of childhood has given place to friendly guidance for the in between years of course having understanding parents doesn't eliminate all the problems but it goes a long way towards lessening the sen