it's always wonderful and special in new sure other folks think they know what it's all about the millions of other folks but when did two people ever really love each other as we do when we're two people ever so sure they were just born to live with and you leave this and i'll do that and will never want to be any other way again ever for the rest of our lives an extremely attractive idea that young men are from since time immemorial but how valid is it in our time in america today the dream of a home of your own when you go looking for can turn into a nightmare a social blight coleslaw health problems all overcrowd values and widespread domestic difficulties culminating in a fabulous number of broken homes and relationships mid section the young men and women ready for marriage today were born in a depression where can they find the courage and hope to take the responsibility of making what should be the most secure of all worlds a home in the atmosphere of competition and chaos that seems to be the world around us it's not cowardice that makes them think twice about the problems of raising children in a world with a tight range of dollars and cents must never govern the individual's creative instincts or ambitions confined to the chasm between who grew up and have children to make a life that is richer more satisfying more pleasurable and the other is strong with in spite of the conditions around we are determined to find a way to raise a family in a way to g is a binding contract under every law that is celebrated with joy in every culture moderns and of the most traditional of all human relationships with the knowledge that nothing can make a marriage work except the people who are living than any other time in man's history on the other hand marriage in most of america today is a little different from what it was yesterday because the people are a little different for instance phillis  housewife by choice a year ago she was so sick and she was staining slides in the pathology lab down at the hospital at twenty three she was earning our own living and living her own life bit but it was the idea of children mostly that made for those years the idea of a life with no one of her own to love and care for seemed like only half a life or less she wanted the family wanted course she got the better grades now he's an engineer and she's a housewife he's helping to build a hospital in hard town a town he never heard of before they got to know each other people aren't stop geography or class distinctions in selecting a marriage partner nowadays chad into silver money or connections or even because she's seen the most wonderful girl on earth you know other girls that he liked both socially and the to where he was in love with phyllis but he wasn't looking for a miracle he was looking for a wife and he chose carefully without help as he does most things he did it with a sense of being responsible for trying to know as many facts as possible and then acting with faith in himself and in her freedom of choice it's a modern privilege and a modern responsibility  believes that a child is a person and entitled to respect and consideration catherine hard for another wife in our town believes a married woman is a person to katherine or modern with modern ideas about education and marriage as well to her the husband is not the master the wife or slave she doesn't think of the children in her classes is inferior the her and she doesn't think of herself as inferior in any way to  married four years ago different yes as every man or some every woman but every individual is from any other individual but one isn't better than the other for those differences as a teacher a mother kathy as a free fulfilled human being she's able to pull her weight in the partnership it is marriage in our modern partnership the rights and privileges like the duties and responsibilities better balance when they're equal frank is a business man practical responsible sensible he thinks of things in terms of cause and effect as a modern he even thinks about marriage that way years ago the marriage deal worked with her husband was sober and brought home a paycheck every week to wife was faithful and produced a house full of children frank knows it doesn't quite work that way anymore he shoot about people meet a lot of them in the course of this business day he knows a lot of happily married couples but he also knows the divorce rate in america marriage is like a car frank says to keep running smoothly it's got to keep getting the fuel that makes it start and go in the first place people have to go on liking each other or living together a man has to be able to ask because it's a good thing for me for her for the child and the assets to be s at least pretty good for all of us young people could look into the minds of modern couples how would they find that question answered one of the positive values but go with the jokes about the ball and chain what does marriage mean to the people who live it day after day companionship along the hit on the right word but that's most important in marriage for me  anyhow yes companionship but not just being with another person killers very much a gal and the guys are like going on a date but the companionship angle added it's morning  getting up when it's still cool feeling alone and yet not quite alone not lonely this is always been my way of combing out the tangles i get myself in and she used to go into these woods with their dad when she was a kid so you couldn't get a better team for the chores and for the fun when i first met her we found we kind of like the same things as well as liking each other sure we'll argue about where the fish are biting today we can settle it without anger or a feeling we're each giving in to the other is fun just being with her she can take tough breaks without getting fussed if the sun isn't shining we can usually fix our troubles with a laugh often phil and i don't have to say anything and we know what we mean that comes from being together so much and liking it that's probably the most wonderful thing of all bond a friend like simon i can know she's with me without having to touch her or talk to or we're maybe i do take a little more responsibility than i would have five gone out with jack or willie so what to tell the truth i get a kick out of it the old business of being the man of the house making believe we're tough or something but it makes you feel good anyhow there's a lot of things like that i've started to do since we decided to go it together trying to understand your crazy notions having patience and encouraging her when she's low really respecting your for the terrific gal she is it's not always easy i've got my own problems but it sure pays off and not only with her by why to give her those things i've learned how to give them to other people the better i am with her the better i am with the caring and the office gets to be our habit i suppose but it's husband business i like frank i like liking him i feel good the way down inside when he's buzzing around nearby whether he's gay are tired or just busy old frank like now i feel warm and cozy when i like tone of his voice when he talks to buddy it's fun to like frank isn't the handsomest man in the world but the cleverest but he won't ever making your seem to be like him life isn't perfect sometimes and i want us to quietly frank's need for action is a nuisance but it doesn't last long on the other hand there are lots of things that interest me that he won't talk about because he finds them high it's in the air that he loves can be a good healthy diet in spite of what they say about not living on it for growing kids i think it's more important than vitamin it's not bad for young women approaching middle age is there she's always talking about getting old every new wrinkle every grey hair tell the truth she looks better to me every day kathy was always good looking but since buddy was barb something else happened to her looks more peaceful sweeter realer sure i've thought about it every married man and i've tried to figure out why we don't get bored with each other the way people  novels seem to do naturally we're getting older but i don't notice it not in her not in me as far as she's concerned as long as things stay the way they are i'm a happily married man yes it may be different from the movie version but the gallant home is the gal i go for and not just his wife or companion or mother of my kid i mean gal and after five years i want to touch her and kiss or hold her in my arms and maybe that is funny but it's also wonderful maybe it's just because we've played it straight i'm not kidding heard she's not holding anything back the more we're together the more we like each other on the first romantic fever was and strength to make a pretty girl any but it happens that i'm pretty good at math here so we agreed that i would do part of it's work sure but it's fun to the fact that he trusts me to do it well is what i call respect respect is something very important to me how did it ever get to be so late i have to fly to get to that clinic on time and i'm not finished with the ironing looks like i'll have to start changing a lot of habits even though the baby isn't due for another six months i wonder what he's going to do our routine we've only just settled down into this way of life and now must be chattel  i think he's beginning to behave like a proud papa i like to get lunch for him but on days like this i simply can't everything is ready i'm sure he doesn't mind coping from south sunny i always thought i'd be scared but i'm not part of this know what's coming told me i wouldn't say when the time comes he said your whole body gets ready for it and so does your mind and he's right he's always doing that encouraging me making me feel that i can stand on my own feet he's a real person and he expects me to be a real person too funny thing is that it works these marriages are not perfect but all in all a single work and they work in proportion to the emotional maturity of the partners marriage is an institution for grown ups cathy has grown up to the point of accepting yourself the simple good natured so likes to love and be loved to be sure frank might read more than the sports page if you want to be a better companion for his wife and family but kindly knows what she's looking for a good chance she'll do what it takes to get it big things and little things no one expects anyone to hartford's we're going to spend a quiet evening at home of course jim kiran he did promise to drop the list to new co owners members come on in for a few minutes jim but sure we're not doing a thing this evening kathy could easily do without the clearance tonight clearance isn't exactly what either family plan or exactly what the ladies wanted but it won't be such a bad evening across town at the burns as the whole team at work stresses safety factors at home but silas is a big girl too but she's going to spend her time helping to she's going to see that something comes out that she's given up her career for the marriage that doesn't mean she's turned into a playgirl and shatters grown up enough to adjust to decide between two things that he wants by picking the one he wants most and letting the other go is like spend the evening with the martin and he like to finish the job he knows he's lucky to have a wife who knows what he wants most things are mary of less productive over there are no boys in the modern marriage no one who is right all the time or even most of the time and no slaves of people who feel pushed around even part of the time moderns are rather proud of being free but freedom in marriage is mostly freedom to give a wonderful freedom for those who abuse it and enjoy it it's not something new this pleasure it's the stuff th it's what marriage is all about it's the real difference between an adult and a child a child must get in order to live and enjoy life an adult has enough for him self and so he can afford to give a child is weak and helpless and has to receive love and food and shelter in order to feel strong and secure a grown up strengthen security is increased by the knowledge that he can give these things to someone else without sense of sacrifice a loss husband and wife will learn to give freely to each other and to their family i learnt the secret of a happy marriage that kind of love is not new  every man and woman knows where to look for it in the only place it exists in themselves young people grow stronger and more alone not by looking for their happiness in the bewildering world around them but by running away from their problems to agree with a liberal man that they are old enough to marry they should be adult  face the responsibility of making that marriage work each one equally that's why chad and phyllis frank and cathy and so many young couples all over the world are doing and what they'll be doing tomorrow