all school stakeholders students teachers parents and community members really want the same thing success for all students most of our energy and focus in schools today is on the interaction between teachers and students and far less attention  span parents families and communities we know that when schools develop strong partnerships with parents famous and communities that students achieve at a higher level and they're better equipped for lifelong success parents and family engagement in schools has really shifted from a nice thing to do to becoming a social component in helping all of our students succeed and she said this is the african american girl mom you know i don't refer to myself as african american because i was born and raised in the caribbean i'm a natural isn't but i refer to myself as being black and so that's and that's how i refer to myself so i said it's like i said i'm not african american i'm black and the teacher said oh i never know what to call you people and i said well now you do there are significant differences with even black people if you're speaking to a black immigrant from the caribbean or africa there are certain similarities where all black people but there are cultural there are cultural differences and mindsets different and unique i think it is important to see that identity i want to be known by my particular country oftentimes i've heard educators say we don't see color and it's like why i see color and there's nothing wrong with seen color seen color it doesn't mean your prejudice it just means you can see it's not bad that you see me as a black person i want to be seen that way because that's who i am i think that it's important for him to know about his culture for his education too because i want to have pride in his culture and to share that with other people because education is a two way street you know you learn from others it gives him confidence when he goes out different it's important for teachers or educators to understand that they're dealing with a diverse population in their schools and that each student has something valuable and that they need to honor that in a child and so maybe instead of just looking at them as twenty six kids in a classroom looking at them as individual people with their own cultures their own families and then maybe going a little bit further and trying to honor who they when indian education is not present in my child's life i feel that she is not connected and she's not learning the think she should be learning she's not learning how to be a good decoder she's not learning how to interact with other native kids she's not learning the tools to help her succeed in the education system as a native american child we have been so beaten down because the system was not made for us the system has failed us because the system was not made for minority you people or people in the minority the system was made for white males and so now they're trying to fix it and keep putting bandaids on it but it's not going to work it doesn't work for us because it's a system  i guess to succeed in that system i don't know what it means it means that you succeed in the white world but does it mean you succeed in your culture does it mean success for you know in our people that's the fact that the government would have loved churches or even the government itself would take children from their reservations and send them to these schools and literally beat their culture out of them and  a lot of students died away at school they never made it back home and so i think what part of my historical trauma it's a feeling of powerlessness that touches that took place when i was in school touch me in a way that told me that i wasn't as valuable and older bias as it was because i was black was because i was slower learner because i couldn't concentrate it was all those things but if i go back it's interesting and like you budgets and people cannot believe that i did because they saw me with through these lenses it's i think it's hard for people to understand that every time they touch that child they'd like to leave them mean it as i watch my sons grow and evolve and deal with the biases i think it's so important for the education system to really understand their touches how important those touches are every one of them should leave the child feeling confident tell you have this thing in the back of you that you know that the education system isn't ready to deal with your son and you worry about those touches and i see it happen people treat my son really well but i see other places where that doesn't happen culture is very important and it's something that is not always taught in school it's a subject of a lot of our our own learning at home i'll talk about where my family came from  that my dad grew up in the south have descendants of slaves and that's that's one subject in history but what i want my kids to know more about that and more about their their selves somewhere where you come from so i think the school can really help help in that area by including different diverse cultures by bringing in speakers from the community to talk about their own stories and their own history one thing i've noticed alive and in the school is it's just the effort to be politically correct and not offend anyone and if you get to a point where every over the different diverse  aspects of of life and culture just get watered down to the point where they're not really really learning the differences if if it's a christmas party it's called a christmas party and but the other kids share in that culture and you can also teach about other holiday traditions from different cultures that it's ok to show diversity we're all different and kids need to know that it's ok to be  i've never met a parrot a family that does not want the best thing for their own chair when both their school their life parents and families have the greatest impact on their own children's future through the modeling that they do the expectations they set out home and the support they offer their children in the home environment so something that i'm really proud of as a parent with our son of you know as he's very active with going to chinese school when taekwondo went from india grew up with his dancing and that's a lot for four year old never spoke down to him as a child but we always spoke up to him because he wouldn't know just the fact that he knows that he has two parents that love him and care for him and and some confidence that if he is having problems at school that he tells us good answer and i thought why so that's a very diplomatic answer and education doesn't mean just give you know being in a classroom but it's and every part of our family life it's in the things that we do and i walk in nature talking about the things that we see talking about people so it's it's on to be on a classroom it's important for me that my daughter and her sans her cultural identity because that is who she is she is a dakota woman and she is all these things and she needs to know how to behave as a decoder daughter dakota sister dakota cousin of dakota granddaughter and that is who she is that's her identity and that's how i expect her to be of my parenting affects my child's education and i think drastically you know early on when he was in kindergarten he just did not connect to the classroom setting at all he didn't pay attention and was sort of closed and he hated school the bus would come and he'd bust out of the house run down the street so i didn't have to get on the bus he really did not like school for a long time and it took  and as a parent i had to spend time understanding them what were the forces what was going on it really is for boil down to that he he told me one day i just don't understand at all what's happening in the classroom and he kind of second third grade i want to be careful because at the same time there assets that come with that he sees the world through a different lens than other people he kind of read between the lines and he sees humor and things that other don't he's an amazing artist so he is a unique learner but he's not an uncommon learner but the school district just hasn't figured out yet now and we're helping the teachers figure it out that's what we tell them i think healthy parenting is doing your best  really look at your child as an individual and as opposed to attach to your esteem or and then from there it's just giving them every little piece of that can just so they have fun just don't want him to think that there's anything that he can't  problems so that in other words they have a destiny they are called to something and we don't know we're not going to tell them what it is but there is something in this world that they are called to solve and so on we a parents we believe that we are trying to and our own efforts trying to help them find out what they hope to solve it is a process becoming a healthy period i don't think anyone really arrives because you never really hearing in that process you gain more freedom you game a security and then you know yeah i get to have open communication not only about your successes but also you failures you know you're willing to come back to your children and say hey you know what when dad said that he should have said he should be yelled i apologize to me that's that's silly you know that those things wrap up some of the essence of is big part of our education but parents are a key you know contributing to the education developing the habits of the study ob helping the kids importance and what he means to have an education and what he's not and all saw just creating there was the space for education to happen we do things we try to do things that help them be authentic lead themselves so we watch where they're interested in an engine and try to support that area of interest try to leverage what they're doing warning doesn't stop when school's not in session it's and any time any place sort of thing parents have the ability within their own power to continue the educational process at home by reinforcing the things that we're learning in school but also providing enrichment activities that extend learning for their own children because i'm from another country and the extended families very important to me we do spend i do spend a significant amount of time sharing with my children my upbringing my my my cultural views what it means to be black in america i believe it takes a village and i on purpose created a village for my children i created that village to help me with that learning to to impart people that i that had like values like expectations and so i i so rounded my children with these mentors if there's a situation where lacey and i are speaking to our children about something and trying to help them along in an area i i call the army and i believe there is safety in the multitude of counsellors and i will call up my  reinforcements to speak the same the same language because i trust them i know they will to help with my with my children i really am thankful for very very thankful for that my children has people in their life that they can call on for for me learning in the home means that it goes back to mean grandparents everyone so for me learning in the home means that you learn how to be how to act and how to respect another and then the same way my kids also i passed them to them to really  so it's easy for them to teach me i mean like try to help out more than we do you read and then you go you practice practice understand  learning in the home is a speaking together and him measuring stuff so much of the learning happens in the home and in our house even just how to negotiate relationships  how to just because i say no it doesn't mean you know if you come back to me nice or what kind of you know that that's education that's how you reframe that's how you create relationships and not have things be so black and white his homework it's more about his environment so how do we keep his room somewhat me not because i mean because i'm not particularly but if he goes into his room at the end of the day and it's really messy that adds to his disorganization so have you might have a tutor that he works with one day a week an organization not so much you know you might have a math tutor but really it's organization organizing your mind to get the work done and that's so he's starting to really want him to understand that it's not organizing because moms all uptight and neat freak but organizing so that he can in his own develop his own skills to manage information i think learning at home is very important just to cover all of those topics that aren't always covered at school or at least not as much as i'd prefer  at school they already know all about it and they can tell the teacher what they know and maybe you are topics that i feel are important for learning in the home of our social social skills just acceptable at school or later in life when you get a job you just can't just have a nap do something and the other important topic is cultural and just that they can embrace learning as a lifelong process better decisions are usually made when all stakeholders have the opportunity to offer employed and be part of any decision making process parents and family who want to make decisions they have much to offer and they should play key role in making decisions on important issues that impact their own children well oftentimes i think parents want to be part of the process but don't know how well maybe don't even know how to requests what it is they feel they call it how that process works and and schools are probably a little bit more intimidated about having parents dictate or tell them what they should do and how they should do it but i think it really helps in building that community to have parents on you know that parent voice in the decision making and especially for parents who who like myself when i first came here not knowing the system at all at least i spoke the language i think for parents who don't speak the language it might be a little more challenging we are not currently a part of that decision making they are making those decisions now you know they may be a  if he needs to excel and wait for waiting for other kids to catch up the decisions are made by the school should be made by the parents to end a teacher's together i mean that they should work together to to make these decisions nobody knows my son better than us so i think it's got to be a joint effort to make it really work sometimes especially with native children they they assume a way that are not good at math or or maybe that they won't like the sciences and and they make these assumptions are they making these decisions and they immediately put them  that other kids are are given i think that the that they really need to take a look at that and change that sometimes there's an assumption made and in this community it has as well when if you're much a minority family that your child will automatically need extra help and i have talked to some families in the community where they're from pakistan and india the parents and they were sent a letter that was so that saying that their children had qualified for the special program and basically was a program that was for children who need catch up and academics and it was totally not relevant to their church and situation and they actually took quite a bit of a fancy some other parents did too and so that isn't that interesting that kind of the process in which my daughter's school makes its citizens makes me feel like i'm sitting on the sidelines they just make decisions and then everyone has to fall in line and one of the biggest decisions that the schools school makes for me or for my child is that they teach them they are teaching them how to be and it's not always how the family the home life wants it to be one thing that pops into my mind with my daughter is when we lived together like she would always hold my hand and walk next to me and then when she started school it was ok i'm the vine leader this time and you're the lion leader next time in like i was a girl we can just talk next to each other but in her mind like she was already picking that up like someone has to be the leader in you can't next to each other i would like to be involved incisions there me in my child's school that have to pertain with native american and so many things are missed in school and i would like to go in and discuss those things with the students there at an age now where they are questioning things and they are thinking more critically about america and the government and everything so i like i would like to be more involved that way when my daughter was learning about it were him lincoln in school they kept talking about how wonderful he was no he freed the slaves and what a great person he was and my daughter told me that she said to the teacher well abraham lincoln killed thirty eight dakota men in the teachers oh ok and they didn't say anything or react to it and i remember my daughter being like confused and she's like i don't know why she did say me thing to me or why she didn't talk about it anymore because my daughter and all that history and so i could do was tell me about her well you did the right thing you spoke up in that that was the join the p t a chaperone the spring field trip or to help teachers in the classroom all schools have parents and families with a wide range of skills and passions who are ready willing and able to help in other ways as transformational leaders where the process of building a playground i also volunteer at the school into kindergarten classrooms every week i go in for about two hours in the afternoon my volunteer efforts at the school have been relatively limited compared to my wife at the school i go in during the p t o meetings and we'll help watch the kids while they're having their meeting there but i'm also kyle and i like aviation and flying and science and things of that nature and i haven't really seen many of the two opportunities ahead that relate to that so some of the opportunities i would say are directly related to what my main interest is i guess for example if they had some type of  opportunity for me to teach teach about flight or teach about science or something one of those lives that would be something to be more interested in her oldest daughter's going on a school trip next month and you know as fifth grader at that age where they're starting to get embarrassed by their parents and we haven't experienced that yet so i'm sure it'll come eventually but it hasn't yet i think we're very fortunate that way for me these volunteer experiences are meaningful because i get a better chance to connect with my kids it gives me a really good insight to them their friends their school all what's going on in their lives i think i get a perspective a lot of parents don't get by being in a school so  often and seeing them amongst their peers and their learning process if you're not involved and engaged with them you really don't have an idea of what's going on in their lives anymore so that's why i really enjoy being involved and seeing  i grew up in the island of trinidad in my growing up experience with school parents did not attend school there was no one no literally no parents involved at my school  parents made sure their kids went to school and there might have been a parent who ran a tuck shop which is your equivalent of a cafeteria that saw candy but there weren't any parents at all teachers would understand that because a pure or family member can't be in that school or that building to help in the classroom or in you know in the district or whatever it doesn't mean that that parent doesn't care does not mean that parent isn't interested in their child's education or have dreams and aspirations for their children because there's so many different situations and scenarios today that parents aren't always able to to i mean my mother wasn't and she was a teacher she was unable to come and volunteer in my school or that was no such thing but even today many i can't get there as often as i'd like so i think that's another thing that there is with other ways we can engage me in the technology age there's other ways to engage with families and not to be afraid to do that are schools really good about soliciting involvement and volunteerism because the our community has gills and they also are very organized because at the beginning of the year you get a booklet with all the options where you can month for an hour so all the options are there so i think the really really good about doing that i think our community we're lucky in that we have many of the interesting to hear the statistics but very engaged parents and like like ian said when they send out the volunteer things some volunteer positions are you know a lot of time commitment but they really do a good job of saying if you could just come in once or twice in the whole school year and do this that would be great or if you could just volunteer one recess so she in the winter involved as much as they can happens and everything is about relationships and by volunteering you're able to just sort of multiply your relationships and then multiply and leverage those relationships for change you know good sort of change that need to happen both for you as well as the school district or maybe even the teachers a teacher setting and then also able to connect with other parents schools are part of a broader community is that really have similar goals as schools or communities are full of individuals and organizations with assets resources and talents that can and should be utilize and leverage in ways that benefit our students our families our schools and our communities the schools so connected and in our situation very connected to the community as far as extra things that are happening in our community it could be some community education events it could be you know celebrating some you know like a new garden in our community or something that the schools connected to that are schools really good about soliciting involvement and volunteerism because the our community has gills you know there's people who have skills finance skills or fundraising skills or whatever and so they're really good at soliciting that like we could use help with this and harrod's in general many parents are interested if if you throw out a need and they have a talent in that way though they're happy to help in the schools they're really good job in this community just having partnerships i guess informal or formal with with other things that are going on and i think the kids see that local businesspeople around the area i think they do a good job of helping the school some of them i think they've just given a free now free free coupons and you know all that kind of what with the kids to do stuff knowing that your kid's going to get free topics and i think that's very very good most of the parents we've got the same church and then i let's say if we do have this bible studies on house to house sometimes most of the partnerships that are really important for our kids school all i believe number one is involving parents you know and getting them involved beyond just the normal me now and time friends you know if you're not taking time to find out all the students background if their parents are both involved grandparents raising them you know and day a little deeper and finding out the teachers are going to know as much about that child and how to reach them  also getting community involved and say like there's been police officers that come and anti oxidant firefighters and i have mine in and on talks on just you know small things like that where they can see positives in their surrounding community are important to them so they can see that they're safe and that there is a broader area than just their walls of the school that they live in a community that they're have to function and and that's important it's the connections that i feel are important for the school to have are those that deal with diversity does bring in more cultural diversity economic diversity so they can see different different places talk to other schools that are in different areas just so they can get a sense of the differences in people and also the similarities they can see that as as parents we don't always have time to take them everywhere so if they can gain some of those cultural experience at the school  the neighborhood that i was in was very few minorities so i was one of the few so i didn't didn't always feel connected to the school a lot of times i felt like an outsider so i didn't want my kids to have that  experience so i try to keep them involved as much as possible just so that they feel feel comfortable wherever wherever they're at that they're part of a part of the community you fascinating to see a school that has a broader connection to other and educational institutions that are higher so no longer will you see sort of our high school in our junior high sort of off by itself but you see it attach the university of minnesota or some other colleges so that learning becomes it becomes part of the fabric you know you don't graduate from high school and not see the next opportunity it's already networked in a part of what you're doing you know i think the fundamental partnership that schools need to have is really what parents don't get me wrong i know you see models out there with the clinics and the social service provider in the food and and i and i bet it's beautiful but when you mess the fundamental partnership with your parent all of that sort of is no and void you know you have parents that need to be engaged in reading writing understand what's happening in the classroom setting supporting their kids i mean education for your child is is great not necessarily the health care provider in those communities that they really need that absolutely but fundamentally i want the partnership to be with me giving information important and it's about working together for the benefit of all parties involved good communication looks like open and authentic communication that's what it looks like to me i tend to opportunity let's make a plan about it our school i mean and what i think they do well is they're very welcoming i felt welcomed when we started the school and before the school year started we had like popsicle social or you know e mails and letters like that the other thing i think is important coming out parents not bombarding but in different avenues the involved parents and parents to the community so i think the tone is that from day one there's a genuine feeling at least i feel that way that they care about us and they care about our children and that they care about our voice i feel like i could call the principal on monday if i had a concern and she would take my call or call me back very quickly i feel like i could call talk to your connect with any of my children's teachers and i believe within twenty four hours i would get a response but usually we do a story there and i was just saying in example the other day my daughter my youngest daughter was going to school and she thought she was going to an after school activity that she's been really excited about mid day it got canceled for some reason and so it's really concerned about her being confused about where to go after school because i was saying put her on the bus instead of what she thought was the plan has caused concern she'd be confusing i was concerned she'd be just emotionally sad because she's excited for this event and i called the school and she said no problem with some of us with some someone from the office down and talk to the teacher and we'll talk to her you know my child and i thought oh my gosh just that was i think i would want to know what's really going on in the classroom what's what's really going i would give you know not not things that i want to hear the things that i need to know as a period so that i can get involved with my youngest daughter  i don't just let it go i said listen i said if the classroom was full of non native students and they wanted to learn how to speak spanish or french you would put a teacher in or that they know how to speak spanish or french we end up going to washington d c and we talk to the people that funded the program and the school district and after we get there and then the knee finally decided to remove remove my out of the classroom there was a major communication breakdown there with with the school and the parents because some of the parents and not even know what's going on and the communication is a two ace to a st i mean the parents have to be involved and have to talk to me talk to teachers you can't just drop the will have a role as a responsibilities but at the end of the day what matters most is the child i moved my son to will surpass purposefully because it wasn't diverse because i could work with a teacher and deal with issues and to be able to connect and get in and meet with the teacher and meet with the dean and have those open door policy s and that's why i said what keeps us here there's sometimes there's things that you can't believe he doesn't understand or he doesn't know you would like to know you get that you like you know  he has got to now because kids know this and so really working with them so that they didn't start to penalize him for behaviors or actions but he doesn't really know even though you probably told him two minutes ago and maybe told the whole group four time three minutes ago he didn't connect with that and having them sort of you know giving them out on it you know not saying that they're doing you know you're wrong you don't get that you're just like you know what this is this is a process and there's no way a student wants to stick out and he is embarrassed by sticking out most people are a little embarrassed by sticking out in that way what we did was really pull the teachers in early and the principal and say yes we really you know what he's going to be successful here but he'll be successful if we have support and then making sure those things that happen in the school setting actually would take to the principal first and then talk to the teacher about you're not there to badger them of what will be little them or to do their job at all but my son learns little differently and they've come to really appreciate that and be patient with it you just stay with it use don't give up your rest is what we say you rest when you get tired but you don't g on my seventeen year old daughter was in kindergarten she was very quiet child and she came home one day and asked if we would invite her kindergarten teacher home for dinner and we weren't really sure how to respond to it but i didn't want to say no and so i decided i would extend the invitation and her kindergarten teacher said here us and my daughter came home and knew what her teacher's favorite meal was what her favorite drink was with her favorite dessert and so we prepared just that and i remember her teacher being shocked that this very quiet child who probably i don't know if  common with or you don't have similar that when you do get together you find out that human beings you have a whole lot more in common than you think when you're working with different types of families that are that look differently or speak differently or do things differently that it's an opportunity it's not a barrier to overcome