is the selections from letters of her mother miriam barbara judd and i want to thank the minnesota arts and cultural heritage funding made this program possible through the legacy grant and now thank you linda and thank you to the library for this opportunity to introduce you to my mother i was fifty years old when i first became aware of the riches in miriam's writing that her name was  that time before she got married at a family reunion celebrating her eightieth birthday and i just had mine several months ago she presented her three daughters with a large no book collection she had put together of clippings and excerpts from her letters for spoke of our growing up years ten years later when both my parents died four months apart i found the files of the original letters and many other records which i moved from washington where they still lived to my home here where they sat piled in a closet for another ten years about eight years ago my curiosity about the events of my early years in china led me to open the boxes as i had few memories i was quickly hooked as i learned how they coped as they were impacted by war and world events people often ask why did i put this collection together i was excited to find a woman's first person record and documentation of an unusual life and of the historical events to which she was witness particularly as most history has been led and recorded by men miriam was a gifted writer and reading her descriptions made the past come alive in a very new way for me she also rode often on scraps of paper her feelings and struggles apparently if she tried to make sense of things or to sort our own thoughts under challenging situations combining these two sources letters and private writings gives us an unusual window into the internal life of a talented and resourceful woman in fact the facts of her experiences as told in her letters are amplified by her occasional private reflections and ruminations there are twenty in the book and you will hear from a couple of them i decided to publish the letters as is rather than as a narrative or historical fiction i am not a writer but i do recognize that the driving her words are strong lively and compelling and i saw no need to restrain state or rephrase them why would i risk diminishing her powerful and poignant prose however due to space restraints i had to edit out over ninety five percent of her two thousand letters i wrote introductions to the thirteen chapters as well as footnotes i'd like to share some questions that have been posed to me how did miriam find the energy and the reason lance to cope with all her strenuous experiences she was born in hundred four where her parents were leaders in the calcutta y m c a she inherited their deep faith and sense of christian service both my parents felt a call to follow jesus  teachings by serving where the world's needs were the greatest and the workers the fewest eventually walter even felt that working in congress partially meant that criteria should be there now m private writings include biblical references and calls on god's goodness and close us to say in her through hard times i think her deep convictions also grounded her during differences with her husband secondly how my parents feel about their personal story becoming public walter the matter of fact the brassica physician probably would not object but he did regret miriam sufferings but he felt a commitment to fulfill his obligations to his passions and causes although miriam was an intensely private person she was also a dedicated teacher and thinker in fact during the last years of her life she talked about marriage being a twenty five year contract after which people could redo or go different pathways if the marriage no longer worked well for both persons both of my parents were committed to truthfulness even in raw and painful circumstances they were not of freight of reality harsh as it might be the fact that miriam kept all the letters and writings suggests that she may have unconsciously hoped that other women could learn something from her life not to speak of men options became limited as a result of her husband's decisions and his causes i had no awareness of this turn turn around and just which i think many good women have often carried silently until i stumbled upon her private writings as for today's women they may be encouraged by the progress towards increased freedoms and options in their lives and recognize the conflicts that can arise in relationships miriam's honesty and fortitude in the face of difficulties with energy good spirits sacrifice some sacrifice and faithfulness maybe an example of integrity and courage now on to m actual words i will skip the early chapters from the engagement their engagement period during her satisfying career in new york there are some wonderful stories about reinhold niebuhr w e b dubois they married in montclair new jersey where she had been living with her parents until she lived in to the settlement house in new york and then they moved right away to rochester minnesota after the wedding for a two year surgery fellowship at the mount clinic where i was born walter had already blips six years in china practicing medicine in a hospital in southern china where was the only physician in a thousand miles and he was doing lots of surgery but he had no training in surgeries his skills so now that he was home he was going to get some good training so now to the act of life when we arrived in peking miriam and i settled in the door of the chinese of the college of chinese studies where she studied the language and the culture walter continued on by train thirty three hours into the interior to be superintendent of the mission hospital in fun jo a town of about one hundred thousand people three weeks after he left she writes at age thirty four and age thirty and as in one nine hundred thirty four she writes to her mother yesterday was a big day for ching university they were having reunion luncheons for all the women here abouts who went to the seven new england women's colleges i went out on the noon bus rattled around over the narrow and deep rugged streets full of fish flesh and fall studying my fifty care chinese character courage the whole way madame john had been asked to come being a wellesley college graduate in one nine hundred seventeen she a charming person to read to meet she goes on and describes her imperence and her demeanor and the conversation that went between the thirty women from the sister colleges and her descriptions of the new life movement which was the program that she and general john kai shek were trying to propagate in the country that is norma's country of china in spite of the communists undermining it and the working japanese over there so if you want to know a lot about some of the chinese opinions and intentions of that of john kai shek you might enjoy looking at that but i will not go into much more detail walter did come out for a week at christmas with us and then he went back and those mother had learned enough language to get to function in a place where there were very few in the speaking people she writes again to her mother in mid march on saturday we had a gorgeous trip to the great wall we went by train up to the area where we bargained for donkey's who guided the ponies to the narrow that took us up onto the wall there we left the donkeys and walked along it was a grand sunny day with a strong breeze blowing the feeling that the walk if you just can't be described you stand there on one of the very high points looked up and down the valleys and the mountains for miles around just barely can see one tiny village and no inhabitants and no civilisation and yet there remains the solid stone wall grinding winding gracefully around the curves of the rises in the valleys built at what cost no one knows and by what methods one can only guess standing through the centuries as a sentinel guarding this anc peoples there is something solemn and humbling about entering into this experience you can't feel self important or restless are small in the face of this enormity and of such endless and eternal expressions of nature i felt as if i had grown noticeably and pettiness smallness had left me and the gavel that was blowing up there on the top of the world blew away much of the unimportance details that clatter clutter our lives and left a sense of some of the deep and abiding values i shall not forget this finally in may walter came from poncho to take us back with him the followed a huge adjustments necessary to adapt to life with only a dozen english speaking compatriots no running water electricity only four hours in the evening working with servants who don't understand english but did constantly remove the blowing dust and oversee meal preparations with limited provisions who managed the hand washing of everything and kept the garden and the house and the sanitation system in order after ten months my sister caroline was born and two days later as communist troops were targeting the city it was necessary to evacuate women and children to a safer town fifty miles away where there was another mission statement sation walter of course went back to run the hospital leaving my mother and my sister in the hospital and me with some other fleeing missionary families three weeks later a more difficult evacuation occurred after walter said the central wire from fun show that we should continue on to peking as soon as possible as the communist bands were now approaching this area also she reported the harrowing journey very intensely and quite a bunch of detail was not fun i don't remember but her description is quite vivid we stayed outside of peking and another mission station and six weeks later miriam writes there was an american school there was a chinese school where there was a hospital there was lots of good things on this mission statement i am to lead chapel for the american school dr ruth talk to them yesterday about being a christian and i think i'll have the single thought that it's not easy that is it involves suffering and sacrifice and ridicule i think that's a most important idea to be grasped by young people nowadays when the general tendency is to get something for nothing not to want to take the slow difficult way to the really worthwhile achievements in life that was in one nine hundred thirty six a few weeks later the three of us caroline and my mother and i continued on to the pacific coast where there was a little on clive enclave for america foreigners during the hot sun summer in peking and china and after a little time marian sprained her ankle walter did manage to get away from the hospital and come and they had six happy weeks together there the only vacation ever had any time yet some time over that summer miriam wrote privately what do i want of god i want to live in nation of growing fears fears of death fears of life and fun general due to lack of social contacts due to light lack vital work to do due to the language barrier lack of walter to make walter an understanding companion as well as the strong man and tender love and he already is to help me to grow in spiritual grace and walter completely selfish in his on selfishness and his devotion and his desire to serve hospital as all he knows he does all the talking than any man i ever knew because of my terrible inferiority to him in every way because he is the strongest finest man i've ever known because he never criticizes me because i love him so desperately i have no right to criticize him i think this is not so i think that my love for him demands that i speak out what's in my heart and his love for me will make him understand this motives are fine she was healed we returned back to front row for another year including internal and external conflicts threatening china you may appreciate learning more details of their on your usual lives  experiences hosting meals for chinese friends teaching piano teacher and chinese nurses teaching english in the mission school providing hospitality for many visitors and of the events in the city and the world areas but by late summer the japanese invasion was threatening in august she writes to her parents this is one nine hundred thirty six thirty seven no use trying to right what's going on around us the day we have been expecting has come and this time it looks like a sure enough light fight we hear damage has been done to our we are not allowed by the government to buy kerosene you can get for the army in fighting we have been using a five gallon ton each month in our house and the hospital uses one a day we seem to be cut off from peking no letter is coming and there is no telling when we can expect freight shipments of food supplies for the trains are used to transport troops the people think a shooting out here in the rural areas are perplexed as to how and when to get home because their trains are not running because of the route is closed some of them are going by rickshaw thirty three hours by rickshaw i think that would be a number of days to tie you on which is the capital of that  be in a panic no schools are open there this fall they have dug air raid shelters and are having drills closing the city gates most of the time shops and businesses are closing up they say three thousand people have already moved from word of mouth is bad enough to make us heavy heart she has but she started teaching one class in english in spite of all this going on into a month later we have accolades again without walter she whispered for months pregnant  traumatic journey all the way back to the united states we lived with marian's parents in new jersey where she delivered her third daughter she valiantly parent at the three little ones less than five years of age while doing some local speaking about the dangers in the far east when walter finally joined us a year later he spent over two years speaking around the country trying to alert our citizenship and our government t sure we were preoccupied only with hitler and germany which makes sense because that's our heritage but he knew we had to pay attention to the boy and when he came back miriam managed there all the arrangements for his tourist plus the household boss the daughters and her parents but basically unsuccessful in a rousing public concern about asia and in response to pleas from miriam for a normal family life we moved to minneapolis where walter took over a medical practice at nicollette and lake street reports of life in the book of life in the twin cities include an elegant dinner at the weyerhaeuser lovely house on some of them a new participation in civic affairs and many other events that would conjure up memories of days long past in this community but little eleven months everything changed with the bombing of pearl harbor suddenly people were eager to listen to their firsthand experiences as we were now or in february mariama lost starts slowly and for a while you can't keep track of individual faces on it but soon it us whirling so fast that you can't make out who's who we're beginning to hurl we're in pretty deep now we both feel sad and we dread giving up individual freedom in the sense that as long as we are public servants we can never be quite free agents again citizens who are trying to draft my father to run for congress the people from the paper and some of the we talked about the definite things he has been saying in his regular speech given thousands of times but after his public announcement as a candidate these same statements will sound like or big strewed as a bid for office you know how walter would hate not being able to say what he thinks how he refused to be tied to any organization all the time he was speaking in one thousand nine hundred thirty eight and forty he will never be the kind to temper his convictions for politics and we are prepared for stormy days  this step is not easy for us to take it's against our personal inclinations but we feel it is right like some of the other hard things we've had to do walter has said that if it's a sincere desire or another for enough people around here for him to go to congress they have to get to elect him while he debates issues he will not go and campaign himself or put his money into it he'll continue speaking as he has right along and they can figure out exactly his philosophy of government from that and they can like  leave but he doesn't know the political game so someone else can run the campaign for him with that piece a different scenario nowadays yet two weeks later should we have another private running from her darling to him darling sometime in the years ahead you may look back on your life before you went into public office and say quote that is when i lost her my taking up the torch for my country which i felt was a secret obligation lost me her love it was one of the prices i had to pay for my devotion to the ideal one of my sacrifices that's the end of her conjecture about what he would say oh no dear it only accentuated my loneliness which has been growing more and more complete in the last ten years now at last i have acknowledged to myself that my life with you will always be fundamentally lonely there will be joys in it and satisfactions on achievements but the hidden spring that feeds and nurses will be a steady quiet stream of aloneness there is no blame in this there is simply acknowledgement of what i had hoped might be temporary that might write itself always i shall respect honor that buyer and work for you trying in some wiser to make my wife forth like life worthwhile and useful through you and your there follows the first of eleven congressional campaigns over the next twenty years necessitating miriam's participation and sometimes including the misrepresentations of walter stan's political shenanigans speech appearances broadcast accept or else she writes and this would be in one nine hundred forty two i went to my first political meeting last wednesday it was a republican rally and one of the wards and a dozen or more candidates mostly for local offices were speaking in a funny hall on a says sizzling night with an odd cross section of people there young don his wife were there and she was friendly came volunteered came voluntarily and bruised herself to us said she had heard walter at the state p t a convention told me to cheer up i get to like these fights a lot she did said she thought we might as well be friendly enemies and took us over to meet her husband who was not at all cordial he says he has faithfully done the errands his constituents have asked of him after the meeting i got brave and went to talk to anyone giving out leaflets w walter's qualifications and trying to feel natural and pleasant when i was  work if there were strong republicans running that had foreign policy experience and where it would be helpful in getting the war finished and in setting up the peaceful world afterwards not to put up a tough competition so he didn't have tough competition in the main election just the week before the election she writes dear folks the end approaches and that pleaseth me plenty last week was hectic with two radio broadcast political rallies speeches as many as three or four times a day i went to two luncheons two dinners for evening meetings had one speech on my own account and another on walter's account this latter was a joke as walter went on the air monday they called him from the hospital that he was wanted for a baby he broadcast fifteen minutes then dash to the y w where about one hundred principals and school superintendents had had dinner and were waiting for him to speak i got him on the phone there just before he went into the dinner off to the hospital i dressed and looked over my notes and heard of children through their supper in the fifteen minutes it took to leave the principals to drive out to our house to get me and to leave one of them to stay with the children and before i could catch my breath i was speaking to the group with the why don't you telling them that i was no substitute for walter in any capacity but rather tried to live or in a speech then delivering a baby he came in before i was finished which completely unnerved me so i quit and let him carry on and that he was selected a week later and we moved in the beginning of one nine hundred forty three to washington her early comments about life in washington are these this is war time and rationing men in government have gone off to war or into a war related agencies women move in to take over these vacancies schools are poorly manned i hope that was an intentional plan i don't know it is a tough time first flimsy flemington feminine flashes from washington no bacon no butter no but nando's no cocoa hamburger at sixty five cents lobby man says don't send our laundry anything good that you don't want spoiled lady in waiting on the telephone six sets hours waiting for the desired extension one bureau has over six thousand extensions and there's just one number anti aircraft guns are in the public parks one is on the roof of the two story garage of our dairy new members of congress taken out on the capitol steps to have their picture taken were delayed twenty minutes by the military guard patrolling the steps who had orders not to let anyone have his picture taken on the steps and congress was anyone they finally got special permission for the picture here's the army running civilian life symbolic as walter got acclimated to political red realities and capitol hill miriam manage the home and the domestic scene juggling the activities and schooling of the daughters there's very few details about that part of their life in washington which i intend to intentionally left out because it's a normal family ups and downs miriam was initiated into the myriad of government and political demands meeting time sister once and visitors plus she took on her own volunteer permit and in one thousand nine hundred forty eight letter to her parents she says i can find it walter is so tired from running the country in the world and i am so tired writing to walter and his daughters that we haven't either of us got good sense i didn't realize i was worrying much about walter  minneapolis friend said yesterday at dinner that walter had told him he came in one night about three thirty am that was his typical of that time and i sat up in bed and said you damn fool and lay down and went right on sleeping and i never remembered a thing about it in one nine hundred forty eight walter was asked to put the name of harold stassen the former governor of minnesota into nomination for the presidency of the country he did do that nominating speech and after the convention was over she writes as to my first experience with the convention i just assumed it would be by last i was depressed by the hollywood influence click the lights television make up sweater girls noisemakers balloons indians parades bands sirens elephants confetti banners and buttons they say this great american circus element is part of our democratic process but i rather tremble to think of our being governed by a circus if we do have to have the circus i wish it would carry the broadcasting while somewhere else and a cool room  of intelligence and integrity could be thoughtfully expressing opinions ironing out differences and choosing a candidate i am told so this is the essence of political naive today so be it as a territory not as centennial as a state humphrey speech was research and written largely by the library and was excellent all humphrey did was to read it he was in the men's washroom before time to begin reading it over and asked walter how to pronounce runestone but i'm wrong when i say all he did was to read it he emphasized interjected the sides interposed till you could believe it was a most personal talk he had written just for you my friends when there would be a call suggest took about the flower production of minneapolis he would serve it up with it and i'm sure a former mayor of minneapolis would be pardoned a little personal pride in this figure when it would mention north dakota he would add that state i love so well where i was born when it would mention the number of a situation of higher looming he would add in one of which hamilton i was privileged to be a professor almost every phrase was twisted and turned to reflect on  a home for you he is an f d r the second for sure franklin delano roosevelt as adolescents arrive there were the typical parenting issues which i won't go into the compound by walter's frequent speaking trips and the unrelenting capital social scene there are by brant descriptions of white house the chance to go to san francisco with walter for ten days was a thrilling event i went along but not at government expense being on in on the sessions of the peace conference in the opera house where each of the fifty one countries had an hour to express its feelings about the priest it was the japanese peace treaty and then we turn to the world nations as a peaceful nation and then to hear the dignified speech  head of the japanese delegation as he accepted the responsibilities of japan rejoining the brotherhood of nations it was really moving i enjoyed the hot sessions listening do to flee with my earphones to the translators while russia tried to insist on the late amendments to the treaty while she tried to postpone the conference till china should be invited and their delegates arrived when poland refused to sit down when his time had expired and he defied  speech when gromyko walked out probably for a smoke both poland and czechoslovakia not quite sure of their signals walked out also with him and all three returned in about three minutes perhaps having been given instructions it was dramatic and acheson with his cold calculating quiet manner was exactly the right person to pursue where nerves are jittery over where russia might do to break up the conference and she went goes on and talks about the representative from new zealand talking about how come new zealand this little tiny nation isn't afraid of the great united states but russia which the spirit of the united states is afraid and he got she writes it descriptions nineteen fifty two we're into another election year i shall likely be attending the republic convention in chicago where we expect to nominate ice an hour she writes a little bit about that i met churchill at a reception for twenty given by acheson reception for two hundred given by dean acheson churchill's speech before congress was quote a remarkable example a fancy figure skating on thin ice as one of the senators said i told i'd be glad if i could use the english language that way churchill to us the morning paper in one nine hundred fifty three reports that walter talked for an hour with nehru in delhi and that's all she knows about it and that's all she ever heard because when he came back he didn't have time to tell her what all was going on while he was gone i did his fifteen minute weekly radio broadcast played three days and three times in minneapolis talked about my work with the red cross about celebrities about going to the white house and the past and again tomorrow when several of us will present mrs eisenhower for honorary membership in our y w c a i was also on a local t v broadcast called them the modern woman with other congress wives and she never could quite integrate the fact that she was a missionary in portland india with the facts she's speaking for they had to congressional wives which she was not up to certainly one herself she was a smart woman and actually my up they had a huge well she says a wingding lunch for thirteen hundred and thirty three hundred fifty people turned away i had sent handwritten letters and fighting wife of cabinet supreme court a table of forty five they filed in order of their seating after others were seated and i introduced each one as she went by the microphone had to practice hours on some of the names which i cannot repeat but they're in here  after i had phoned protocol and gotten briefed on the correct pronunciation and the order in which they were to be seated mamie eisenhower was the guest of honor she was introduced came in as the marine band played her march sat next to my mother at the head table and then she and my mother had a little dog and pony show lighting up the normal two hundred fifty pound cake that was lighted and tied in with the waldorf astoria in new york city where the new york celebration happening and what maybe got up and turned on the lights and slashed the cake everybody could enjoy it so you know all the arrangements and details of working with the secret service and the  my ability last night i guess i was too tired to keep up the armor and the whole sickening lying deceitful dirty campaign overwhelmed me with hatred and frustration and despair walter is in a fair wa be defeated they say this i would grind for there is plenty for him to do yet in this poor world but i hate for this man to triumph even temporarily walter is so strong and fair and decent and so tired i could just be too i ache and weep and kick my heels an agony and frenzy and frustration he was reelected again in one thousand sixty she writes just to give you an example this has been society week for us last two nights we've dined at official dinners with prime minister kishi of japan dad was at the white house for the official signing of the defense treaty and then the japanese had elegant dinner which she describes and the translators and then the next night secretary of state christian herder gave a receptor call dinner and she describes those table decorations and purple orchids and so forth she said it was beautiful quite an occasion and my turquoise chinese brocade dress was finished for last night's party and a number of people asked me where i had it made up you know my pat answer to that i have an old lady that has sold for our family a long time and she won't take on any new people and she one of my favorite letters in the books comes near the end and it shows her delight and a descriptive brilliance in a three page account of a july nine hundred sixty one official state dinner for the president o pakistan and she describes that for us this has been pakistan the old home week in d c never have i seen the government government put themselves out so lavishly to honor any visiting head of state whether because jackie and the new frontier want to show they can or because they feel we haven't given pakistan the aid or support they want and this is kind of us sop to them i wouldn't know that's in the political department not in the social life and don't think we haven't heard the criticism and sniping at the mount vernon dinner naturally folks will criticize anything new or different this was beautifully planned and executed gay happy meaningful affair the food was imminently more simple than other state dinners i've been to no suit no food entree no cellar of course the grid of joy meant came from the careful planning the setting and the kind of entertainment they left the dock in georgetown the potomac river and went by four different boats one hosted by jack our jackie and linda and lady bird down to mt vernon about a forty five minute ride on a beautiful night and they had scars for the ladies in case the wind blows up and they have trios playing and i guess it must have been something that details are quite funny if they ever filmed this book it would they don't exactly how great and when they landed there were  told to stroll up the slope to mount vernon if you've ever been there with mint juleps in hand and then they were summoned from their groups to watch it to go to the land side of the house and there was a drill put on fife and drum corps in their continental uniforms the hordes of press who had been at the docks when we left washington had motored quickly to mount vernon and had to be shown an off to one side of the green to allow the drill when the green coated colonial hunters fired their muskets in unison with a real bang and smoke everyone laughed for they were facing right into the bunch of the press one press guy took his white handkerchief our and signal surrender it was historical to watch our revolutionary soldiers drill against a sky with the sun sinking and a jet making small scratches on the blue backdrop and she describes walking through to the house for the dinner and there were  hundred eight thirty eight people and she was seated between the secretary of state and the about to be joint chiefs of staff and my father was seated with jackie and the president of pakistan when he said he as she writes he and walter and i you are good friends from way back so they talked across jackie and as walter says got across good ideas in the process to jackie where they may just stop if she doesn't talk things over with jack s and then they have the ride back on and some of that it just a lot of politics is brutal but there is some lovely moments and this and this was i'm sure part of the satisfaction that she took out of him another event that bought her great joy it was the evening i went alone to the library of congress to hear robert frost he had been expecting to talk to congressman and their wives but for the third time in the eighteen years we've been here the house night i wish the congressman could have listened to his wisdom and his humanity and good sense he puts things in balance and perspective for me and we can stand a little or a lot of this in our public life at the moment just one quote how eleventh campaign he won his old district but they had added the third in the fourth ward search for strongly democrat and he couldn't overcome it out difference yet two years later she writes to her college classmates don't anybody ask me what the political situation is in minneapolis all i could tell you is it is a mess i have never approved of what walter did or didn't do about the favorite son business and i don't like all the dirt his name got dragged into it during his absence which he still has to take responsibility for so we don't talk about it and that should to expire a little more on that but you get the draft significant leadership's positions with the local y w c a were her focus after he was no longer serving in congress he went on speaking and doing a million things as the civil rights conflict played out in washington she led the integration of the two black wise and by w s and the three white branches and she writes in hundred sixty eight our year in washington has been grim anxiety filled riots and conflicts and rumors and resurrection city and decisions about where and how best to help i was r y w a staff who worked with the resurrection city children for instance got stoned by some of those they were trying to help because they were white we still have a lot of problem solving to do with our emotions and inner attitudes when it comes to living with people of extremely diverse attitudes and backgrounds and cultures over the last twenty five years my parents continue to share their thoughts convictions and resources in the public arena but there were many fewer letters because the parents were dead the daughters were grown and their grandchildren use the phone to communicate and we none of us three children live there neither did the grandchildren her private writings increased as she struggled to accept and adjust to walter's intensity on a daily basis she writes privately at age seventy six i have always este highly the art of listening walter's great gift is in speaking articulately with conviction lecturing either of these carried to excess cause difficulties i have worried that wal how about my not speaking it was too hard it was a debate i always lost in the family we could talk ideas not feelings because the girls found it difficult to speak to him i became the go between interpreter did this keep them from developing their own relationship with him or his with them now yes more time to hear them is it too late do i resent this do i still feel the need to be the interpreter can he listen they are adults now and he is seen as old he was eighty one year older than i even to what extent am i responsible for the way they see him or is this important year later miriam wrote the thing that was a great joy and alicia to us both of us when president reagan conferred his presidential medal of freedom on walter at a white house luncheon and all our daughters came to be present for the invite six people other than the spouse and my parents invited al and gresham cui he had been a governor pawlenty of minnesota and and he and my father were part of some faiths sharing groups there are times in washington there were about eighty at the launch and in may and then the citation is in here which i'll just read you half of which reagan read legislator fish physician missionary and orator walter judd has served his nation and mankind with unfailing courage and distinction as a youthful medical missionary in china as a highly respected member of congress for two decades and as a lifelong fear full of tyranny and a friend of freedom both at home and it aloud at a public ninetieth birthday celebration put on by our conservative organization after she read it we were all just a god the tenor of it and the power of it and we all  did you write it and where did you get it and she just disappeared and she would she looked like a cheshire cat and she never would answer but we got copies of it and a friend of mine will hold calligraphy it at me made a calligraphy of it and when i was working on the book and reading the things i googled it's a poem and guess what the first two lines come from a poem by sarah t still many years ago so no wonder she didn't want to say the rest of it she did because i could see the scratchings on the on the page and if i hadn't if we didn't have google i never would have known she borrowed the first two lines but here it is and so to walter at ninety it is enough of an honor for one lifetime to have known you better than the rest of known that would be good for a spouse or whatever the shadows and the brightness of your voice the searching mind the stubborn will like stone the passionate words grown out of strong conviction and love of god your bearing the whole world's pain protest nor conflict you are no man fearing no sense of time or self no thoughts of gain quick laughter and stri persistence deep pride in family friends fierce love of life these among others of all i hold forever within my heart you're always grateful wife that's a wonderful summary of how he was and yet we know all the other parts of because she was willing not to destroy the others and because she wrote so beautifully and with such sensitivity so i thank you for your attention and your listening and i'm willing to answer any questions or have you make any comments if if you feel so inclined had and there was a lot of impetus for my dad about plan nixon and he talked about it after the speech he said to next and this is the story that he thought we needed the party the ticket needed somebody from the east coast that nixon was sort of all well the west not really buddy and my father was from nebraska in minnesota and there was no more stuffy and lot more reserved my father was a and he made you know thousands of speeches to people all over the country and a lot of people knew him and he said later it might have been different and my mother said if he had been then she said thank god it wasn't now anyway well i think i'll bring this to an end because our hour is up and i appreciate the opportunity thank you so much