before men learn how to control fire and put it to work that was in much the same way your emotions can be your own greatest enemy or under control your emotions can make you healthier and happier and improve the lives of people around you i think of fire in connection with emotions because when you become stirred up when your emotions control your actions it affects not only yourself but the people around psychologists find that control of emotions can be gained by understanding the stimulus response pattern when you have certain experiences you respond with various emotions stimulus response just this  stimulus produces this sort of involuntary muscular response that's a rather simplified suggestion of a complex mental process but you get the idea cause effect or action is the response to loud noises or loss of support and the emotional response to love is usually the result of a show of affection or favor and these seem to be the emotions with which we start life then as we grow up many everyday things and social situations become associated with these primary stimuli partly by a process called conditioning and so many things some people can pose to respond emotionally and in general that's good while there are many factors involved in a personality and a balance of emotions is important to a well rounded person but emotions out of control well let's take a look at a slice of everyday life to understand how some stimuli can bring up various emotional responses what might happen to you or tell me how to jeffrey more jeff is an ordinary and healthy and well balanced young fellow he usually gets along well with people and on this particular friday afternoon jeff and his pals are discussing a big why is jap angry that's the stimulus the bring it on this sudden emotional response of anger or mild rage well it might be that just feels forced as he fails in the fancy trick to impress his pals of course just going to get the car ready for the party tonight he wouldn't really miss a chance to impress the gang but started won't work again his behavior is supported and i have is being developed a habit of allowing such things to annoy him jeff's losing control of himself his thinking is becoming muzzled and he's careless and his actions the matter he gets the worst of because did you ever hear anyone say i was so mad i couldn't see straight severe emotional stress often decreases efficiency see what i mean and of course it's the fault of the wrench this is called projection he's projecting the blame to the wrench well we've seen jeff lose control of himself and rage lets see how the rest of the family is doing and we often see an induction of behavior or spread of emotion to other persons almost like a contagious disease at both boys for the part they played in the flare ups of course jeffrey's family didn't realize that he had been exposed to one irritating situation after another and accumulation of stimuli which he's tired it's that feeling of but t may spoil a good time on his date tonight and if this sort of flare up is repeated often that might lead to a permanent leave off personality but could just do to keep better control while we say he could one eliminate the stimulants to modify the stimulants or three modify the response was these three ideas in mind let's examine jeff's episode again to control his emotions jeff eliminates the stimulants the failure to impress his pals by trying such fancy tricks only when he can do them successfully but sometimes the trick fails there are many times when you can't eliminate stimulus tried to modify the stimulus standing off and looking at themselves jeff realizes that the slip like that won't really hurt his standing with the gang taking it all likely as a good sport and jeff impresses the gang a lot more than if he gets angry over such a little thing it helps to recognize and understand the emotional patterns then it's easier to eliminate all modify the stimulus and there is another even more valuable way to control your emotions modify the response rather than to get in the habit of getting angry jeff can substitute he can modify his response by seeing the humor in the situation what good does it do to get angry about this when jeffs in the habit of controlling his emotions to call the garage or someone for a push in the recharge no need to fly off the handle and take it out on the things and the people around when he tries to understand his emotions and those of people around him jeff has less trouble controlling himself and he and those around him are happier yes buy a better understanding of the emotional patterns of everyday life and by knowing how you respond to various stimuli you can develop better control by eliminating the stimulus or by modifying the stimulus you can control the fire of your emotions you can balance your emotions and use them some of your personality becomes more pleasant and you and those around you are right great deal happier and