and joined the u s navy well you know i tell you it was one of the st requests i had the only request i ever had was to you know i wanted to go someone home whether it was i think it was the middle of winter so i didn't want to go to the great lakes so shipped out to san diego and and i remember flying in and you know i remember what's been bust but two o'clock in the morning and there are certain things that you always stay with you when they remember the smell of the base and it was warm it was balmy you know also to the naval training base was right next to the marines training base also and i can remember turning in new recruits and it's kind of scary you know i was like you know what happens that next day i just i just remember it's like while this is going to be a long day and it was a long day and never slept so good my life since i joined know everything new uniforms and so forth new shoes and of course it's warm and so forth and so i developed these holes in my heels from marching you know and so they later became infected so i had  one couple things and i missed pizza and i remember having this dream of eating pizza oh boy this is really good pizza and chewing actually put is a really chewy pizza and so wake up and i've got a sheet in my mouth you was the commander in chief th at the time and of course you know i think that the military was trying to project the youth and so forth and so the squad that i believe belonged to was called the mob squad and of course it was a t v show you know my squad tell you know so so you know hit it how these influences of the seventy's that you were dealing with you know the unrest about the war and i think when i st went in were you know guys were shipping back from vietnam and so we had the navy also supported the river boats yes and so i had quite a few shipmates who had return from there and i remember the nightmares they would have had night you know and but you know i think that during that time i was a baby it was like seventeen years old and so i was pretty well as a kid you know but there was you know racial tension during that during that time and so what happened i remember we were all marched in to watch brian's son and that people don't know that's a movie about a black and white football player and how their relationship was and so that was the military style way of trying to help us you know come together you know you know during that time i you know you know you either you lived aboard ship you know when you're in port in your course if you love to board ship you're always have to do you're always details you know that they had to be and  as the robes and over the years he opened a couple of his way to give back to the military and from the early sixty's through the seventy's i think there were three hundred of us you know it was interesting he was the bishop his mother was the daughters of the president of god is the confederacy and his and his brother was the middle eastern cia expert so it was kind of a great southern family and so and of course during that time during vietnam you know the country wasn't a loving military people you know and so this enabled us to be able to be a little more accepted you know you know just kind of looking at my experience as you know of course you know i would be shipping over to i remember we did a nato cruise and we were in norway we were doing the fjords and so forth and were it pretty well like accepted by you know because at that time because of vietnam you know i remember people would say you know baby killers and stuff like that so there was always that kind of element to your kind of dealing dealing with you know and  so one of the things that you know one of the greatest things that i would say about the military gave back to me was still it was you know cook book camp and being together is accomplishing things together working together and i'll never forget that and i still miss that camaraderie you know and so one way was you know kind of giving back and i remember would go into different ports and would help out in some of the became you know either got into became doctor is social workers some guys just continued to be cowboys and and and i later became you know even though i quit school i went back to school and became a you know and was quite to this day it was the one of the greatest experiences of my life you know to what degree that you are being a seventeen year old and being with people going on the swi boats in vietnam and seeing the aftereffects of vietnam before p t s d really was recognized play into going into into you into what you do what your life's location was after the service idea that that spark an interest in you was to well you definitely have people from all over the united states and they think that that is quite moving to you know because some of the guys well you know there were other things they didn't mention you know i you know i remember going into the fo'c's'le and front of the ship and one of the guys has sliced is his wrists to kill himself and i think he was so traumatized you know he wanted pain too and you know during the time i saw i think that because i was one of the people the st file down and so that was really like whoa whoa whoa you know for a seventeen year old kid to seize this  you know these weren't just superficial cuts these were intending to do deep deep cuts you know this me and i was in great deal of pain so he he did survive and you know went to you know to the hospital for a period for a period of time but it just what i kind of witness especially to when they when we've got some of the guys had returned you know we go out start you know partying you know and that's when some of the stuff would really come unfold because the inhibitions you know you know either that they you know came out more violently or you know just became much more emotional they really when the substances really started adding on to that and so being in the military to you you know you had there were many roads you go dad you know a lot of paths you go you know you could when you could you definitely get into the drugs and alcohol you know  you know stay out of that but you know i did see a lot of drugs and alcohol you know i think that you know part of it was that the fun of these people was that you had served in vietnam with numbing you know  you know the facts of that or you know you know some people that also too didn't you have to go to vietnam but you know they had such a life you know you learned what that's what i loved about the military too you learn you get to know people intensely  and that bond you know it's there for you for the rest of you for the rest of your life you know but i remember you know sometimes you know if you have a lot of times on hand sometimes you know but you know i was  because i was an easterner a northerner you know and you know i had these people from texas and stuff now in the south and it's amazing how some many times you know there's different ways of saying shit you know it's like you know you can stretch it out for five  stuff that's right yes i suppose the middle that's right so you learned a lot of things about different people different parts of the united states and you know it didn't matter you know what call or you know or person was you know from you were in it together you know and going in again you know because i remember  what what happened was that the days were leaving the because they wanted to challenge us you know and so was we came out of the pub you know the door opened in one of the sailors had it had a brick in his hand and he's wanted to hit me and my arm buddy took it full force but what i'm saying is that is that there was that camaraderie you know sticking together protecting each other which was very crucial and i got to meet people you know so there was a bond but also to get to meet people from different parts of the world you know and and how that can be quite such an influence you know i mean what you hear see in other countries is not what you hear in the united states you know so that's kind of a gap sometimes so you really kind of when you're on the ground in another country you kind of really learn what they're you know what their policies may be you know  prejudice may be you know i mean there are even though that maybe not in the service but you get to see there's like sometimes quite a bit of division in the various countries you know and  engineer and so we had it in the boom it swings out from the ship you know and headed to get into this small boat what is going up and out so you know it was pretty rough it took us a while to get in there but we had to go in and get these  bring our guys back in the from bad because of the you know gunfire you know but you know in then you go other places you know it's again it's pretty pretty safe but also some countr not as safe to walk around as service people so you have to kind of be careful there to you know but i can't say enough about you know the comparatively meeting other people you know seeing with you know what's going on out there but also to with you know services was able to you know here's a seventeen year old kid quit school found a plan a purpose you know put meaning into my life you know and it has added you know you said that that has continued by you know me being able to kind of get back in to kind of listen to people's stories because everybody has a story to tell you know and it's important to give people that opportunity to listen to that story you know well you certainly you described it for you the service was for me a lot of in your vocation because nursing and type of it gave me the kind of a sensitivity you know that as you know is so if i was just a had just stayed in belmont you know you know you know i would have just been traveling around belmont not to kind of open my eyes to different things or how things can be done differently or how to relate to people so it really did open the doors and then you know from there i spent many years working at mclean hospital which is right up the road here you know we're at the bottom with the foot of mclean hospital right in ass so that you know again you know i think that you know i think the military is a great institution you know it you know has its issues that problems you know but but also to it it does bring people together to and in with that to we have to kind of stick around to you know support the guys and women who serve who have been more immediate danger you know and i think it's important to know that the veterans are you know they're not alone you know you know and they think that you kind of listen as i listen to the reprieve gentlemen i think that that the fear of being alone you know have to you know you can share the these thoughts and i think that's what's been so important for me because you know it was just part of a group and i think that's what the military  so influential for me you know is that that was part of something you know now a lot of people with p t s d won't let anybody inside the circle to be a circle of trust to tell the story to what i think when you tell somebody  were under the stress sometimes you know just were you know really pretty damaged you know and and some some some you know because of the damage sometimes really sometimes you know  know let me know that i'm not alone but also to give back you know you know and so that's where i continue to hope to continue to live my life is kind of a giving back you know where you're a