thing game on table matters betty our hostess is having a few of her friends to her home for a birthday party she has been to any number of little parties like this but this is the first time she's given a party all by herself like everyone of place the butter knife block on the butter dish not next to the meat and a lot of glass small matters but they're important when they show father or not your habits of etiquette are correct see if you notice right away when someone is incorrect or is definitely correct that is confidence is shaken a bit and she has doubts over correctness should she appreciated her guests into the room he directing them to their places properly should body have used place cards the young man who is trying to relate to assist betty with her chair is bob it is his birthday that is being celebrated and his hopes to feel uneasy and just act as he always does notice not one of his way of opening his napkin and butter in his belt could be all right bernie and helen seem quite certain of the way they open their napkins and place them and i have told in their laps they seem to be really nice but then everyone is more of a these now that the party is really started the main thing is that they should enjoy each other's company and betty and bob aren't worrying about their mistakes for a moment but in the back of their minds they realize they will have to pay more attention to their manners they know that the object of correct etiquette is not to make a life formal and dollars but to make it fully enjoyable there are reasons for each activity good as in a man's assisting a lady with her chair or the order with which people are bob is hungry and the soup looks good he is using his company manners but as we see he is doing at least three things wrong not at the soup a service that he sees that the crackers are passed floyd passes the crackers to dorothy and before he helps himself should he have helped himself first two are not bob is eating before the others one about that apparently the guests are waiting for betty to pick up her spoon before they began but naturally the guests were given no indication of having noticed any error on bob's part since that in itself would be impolite as the release dish is passed bob takes a handful and puts them on a service plate and diet he goes to  soup in the same old way then bob notices that the others of place their relation differently and changes them from one plate to the other knowing there is a reason but what is it about having made the change bob is glad to see betty has noticed that he corrected himself all as well again with a party no one's enjoyment is being interrupted with any problems for the moment that enough time is running into some problems of her own things that she hadn't thought of until now that elbel on the table isn't one of her problems because she isn't even aware of it but she is aware of the olive is a problem is there a correct way of eating an olive should you just pop it into your he hopes that she doesn't look as awkward as she feels now our hostess feels better about the olives but right away she sees something else dorothy is breaking her celery before taking a bi has always been just celery you ate it in whatever length you found it is that easier to handle in shorter lengths and as it looks like a smaller bike when you dip it in the salt and then buy off a portion enjoyment of the party as host bob is expected to serve the meat course at all his father does the serving it looks perfectly simple and it is but if you were in bob's place would you know positively want to do which serving implements should he use should he just go ahead as best he can dorothy is looking away so as not to notice bob still isn't sure what to do but he can't hesitate for a that amount seems too much a lady is not flattered by being offered a portion the size that might appeal to a hungry lumberjack that he is worried for bob but after all he is trying everyone learns by experience even when mistakes are made and one isn't at all sure a penny thing that he is doing bob wonders at the portions he is serving are now too small should he give a large portion to the man  use the implements for serving the salad correctly and want to cipher the portions of salad the is he offering too little if you're getting a proper assortment as betty passes the plate to cheese say for whom the plate is intended bernie and helen act as though everything were going smoothly with them and so really it is in spite of betty's worries there are no mishaps floyd and dorothy are enjoying themselves know this is not starting first this time he waits with the others for betty to start here is the kind of fun that they all thought of when the party was planned out having a good meal together and plainly enjoying one another's company areas that have been made haven't taken the fun out of the party and we must remember to give them credit for all the things that have been done correctly for every mistake made a dozen things have been done correctly bob is feeling more confident of himself he seems to remember that it is correct to use his knife for cutting lettuce or tomato if they are served in pieces that are too big for a prop by what do you think is the wrong are the right way but the person with confidence isn't necessarily the person who is correct up until this minute betty has been confident that a person should butter his vegetables with his knife and either betty sees floyd butter in his with his fork she is uncertain she wishes she did not definitely it seems safer to follow floyd to example if he is correct then she will be to bob a swing from one extreme to another one minute he is uneasy the next over confident now he is forgetting even his company manners and is acting as they usually does in telling one of his favorite starts dorothy and floyd giving their attention when he's looking at them but at the same time they manage to continue eating while their food is warm isn't letting the story interfere with his eating either so let's try counting the number of obvious blunders the waving of his knife and fork about talking with food in his mouth monopolizing the conversation but it is an exciting story it's about a trip up in the mountains and then all this isn't the kind of an ending to the story that bob had in mind but it is quicker and maybe better at least to stop bob from making any more mistakes but he too has discovered that she had forgotten a couple of items of behavior she is thinking that perhaps she and bob both need to be embarrassed a bit to make the men met that their manners aren't as good as they should be may be thinking the same thing because he certainly looks as if he has decided to make a lot of changes the others of course say nothing but he decides that the first thing for her to do is to regain her p just act as though no errors had been made but she will be more observing of her own manners and those of others too many feel safe in her way of eating a roll and  is there anything in what bernie and helen are doing that would get your attention right away was there anything in the way he helped himself to more jelly how about the way he holds his knife and fork or the way he cuts his meat and takes it to his mouth with his left hand when you are eating meat do you take them into your mouth with a fork in your right hand or your left is there a question of correctness here helen is also using her left hand betty holes with a fork in her left hand column cutting the meat and then passes a fork to a right hand for placing it in her mouth this is exactly she has noticed that the british and continental people usually use their left hand but now that she is beginning to take her manner seriously she wonders if there is a matter of correctness involved or whether both ways are equally correct one way american the other european that he wishes he were a certain of that point and she is of how her knife should be placed bob has never heard of zigzag or continental ways of eating meat but he is on a watch out for such things now and as soon as he know this is what betty is doing he is ready to fall over example whether he is right or on he uses his left hand all right even if he does take an oversized bite bob congratulate himself on trying a new way to embody have a lot to learn at least there are no further mishaps as a meat course is finished on the table cleared for dessert watching him self that all is well if you just try to figure out what is the reason for each rule of etiquette you find that the rules are sensible after all correct manners are simply the way one person shows  consideration for another in other words proper manners are your way of showing common politeness as far as bob is concerned this is the best birthday it ever had and to top it off a big birthday cake that betty had made for him he really appreciates this for the cake is a symbol like the whole dinner of friendship either a delicious symbol of the regard that betty and her friends hold for bob particularly b the lighting of the birthday cake with candles is an old custom and so the blowing out of the candles but do you suppose the placing of the candles at the side is a modern touch of avoiding possible germs being blown on the cake serving the meat course upset  apparently serving the cake has its difficulties to our hostess is i'm certain that she should be helping but she worried about leaving the table to bring in the cake in the first place that he wondered if the serving should be left to the housekeeper what would you say there is no denying that bob needs help he is having trouble with the serving implements again you think you might be able to figure out from the shape and the size of the pla which to use cutting and serving your own birthday cake would seem to be a pleasure but could you actually do this any more gracefully than bob is that he'd help may not be as great as she thinks whatever reaching in front of bob and upon her placing the dessert forks one of these correct you notice he forgot his napkin and sat on it and bob who want to entertain their friends have good times together forget that poor manners can really interfere with the fun of the party there is no fun in being worried i'm sure or l s d it is much simpler in the long run to face your problems find out what the correct answer is and then when you act in a way that you know for certain is correct your mind is perfectly free of course all this is an accomplished just by wishing there are still habits that have first to be detected and then broken this is hard the new habits have to be formed but a little study of any will help greatly and lessons are all practical once you a form correct habits in your manners you will find that they give you a sense of confidence that is a reward in itself our party is ending but let's hope that for you it is in another sense just a beginning as you think of that and bob and their problems compare your own matters don't forget that it is by their manners that polite people the world around show their consideration for one another identity party is just one way of enjoying company of your friends i good meal and good company real enjoyment that's what a dinner party is