this is where i live i'm a housewife my name is alan jones that's tuesday and july i started out just like any other day the past few months there was no warning it was to be the most terrifying day of my life i remember thinking how tired i felt even the housework seemed drudgery so meaningless with george confined to his bed no one to see her care even and then i got scared because i knew i was beginning to feel sorry for myself george was the one who was ill and he needed all of my thoughts and attention and above all my cheerfulness i tried not to think about george how he'd cha told myself it was just my imagination that things would be different when he was well and strong again then i thought i heard  fracture down the hall is waiting to see me but i'll be tied up for a while to tell me feeling blue you see his wife expecting a baby in a minute and i think you  we might do very well together right for you i don't know something you think about is just something you you know you can't do anything about i i'm coming up now here you want me to bring you  you you're lucky in many ways to that wonderful wife she developed into fine art i don't think i'll be tying up our exclusive services much longer you've got to cut out this way of thinking those were pretty morbid things you were saying in front of  ellen she complained certainly but you got to think of her too she's looking a little worn when you get these ideas try using a little mental therapy next you'll be telling me i ought to see a psychiatrist i'd be a very good idea doctors are all alike you can't cure the patient you're telling us all of this mind i'm trying to help you joyce you know that fears i feel better if you were in the hospital for one no i don't think so or you want what's best for george talks report of course that's just it i think what upset joy ever since you got out of bed yesterday if you could walk ahead on the line i want you to promise me not to get out of bed again when i'm out of the room all right eleanor did you call the druggist about getting  what are you thinking about it was me that ran a great i'm told to change my way of thinking oh no no i mean it was my fault too i just wasn't strong enough to have that we could change overnight but make all the difference in the your own so i'd like children and i'd like a garden a real garden like the woman next door i find out about flowers and things and i compare notes with every other woman on the block so you have a garden and children with me could i have kind of gives you something to hold on to that takes a long time for things to sink offended by making me impossible promises i know something about my own sickness i know what happened alright man when you take a wife out for her i know what happens when you constantly  leave it halfway up i was so hurt i could hardly keep from crying but again i reminded myself that george was terribly ill and he didn't mean it i knew i had to keep doing something anything anything to keep me from hearing george's words he didn't mean he couldn't be it was just the he when i took his lunch after i'd be pleasant and was crazy about my mother stella six gave me too much but i can still remember that too in the small absolutely perfect sailing ship building side of it you know i was i was so crazy about that  hadn't learned anything so i and on the ship but just as he was about to take it i let it drop on the tile floor and i stepped on it you never know what it was but somehow or other it's mine mine wasn't it ever been before i ran out of the house and then back in again a strange standing here patiently and all is he trying to reason with you you're the one is being obstinate you don't seem to realize is against the rules so how do you care for this i guess rules i have to care but you don't you're not the one who gets prior  important like you say oh it is well if you give me a lift back to town in your car sales i won't lose any more time i will i'll go over to your house with you right now and give the letter to mr jones personally no no you can't put mrs jones this way i'll be sticking to the rules of your h the top of the green shutters the far side of the door will be on your back before you know if you don't watch out after all i'm going to do is to help from now on i'm going to have more time to tell and i forgot to tell you i resigned resigned from the help and you have to fifteen years i'm not having trouble i didn't want to tell you but now i think i must still take my advice and don't believe the following this is what you did i thought it was funny your being out like that i'm not going up to see george when you and wondered how much time i she was right i must with all i had to fix myself up before i could go to the post office i had to go and i was terrified but i knew i had to i mustn't think about anything anything until i get that letter better that i killed i prayed that no one else had heard that shot i thought perhaps if i didn't enter he'd think no one was home and he'd go he didn't he just rang the bell again and then stood  i knew i had to get rid of him unable to leave his bed he told me he was out but he didn't have a phone to be here this afternoon anyway it's a business matter mrs jones i'm sorry but the doctors had been to see you warning that i get some resistance from you have to be more careful now just take the form home to mr jones have him for the thousand when you bring it back i'll have it right here and i'll give it to but why is that just regulations among other things it will give me a chance to compare  i let you fill out the form for your husband on one condition of course make sure that the contents of the letter to me will be strictly confidential but of course the letter must be opened and  i would call your husband for you explain the situation reasonably and ask his permission for you would have over the letter not  me i didn't say that but you don't seem to understand no i don't understand mr jones and i have no alternative but to send a letter on through the distributing  you don't i don't want to intrude i couldn't help noticing you all day long i've had the feeling that you something was wrong and i still like to be able to help you i know we haven't been too neighborly a couple something else again can i help you is there something i can do for you i know you are anxious to get up to your husband so you run after he's comfortable and settled then you  she might have been my friend she might have helped please do very important dr graham doesn't come here today he had to go and he tried to kill me but go i don't know there's no sense in running away now mrs jones i got a letter for the sas no i didn't put it in the slot because when i i guess i should feel kind of funny coming here like this after what happened between you and me just know oh oh then i knew what people meant when they said their hearts all of us left george and me and our marriage in that little pile of ashes i knew that