welcome to our show caring for others and caring for ourselves healing through the arts my name's emily kearns i'm hosting today show here on behalf of the massachusetts lifespan respite coalition every month we have a special show featuring guests in certain areas today we are delighted to welcome to very very special guests we have audrey albert king of the dance movement therapist and we have barbara  actress and just in a moment we'll start the show and we'll let you know a little bit about their lives and what it means for respite to use the expressive arts so i agree why do you tell us a little bit about your work you know who you are and the type of work you do and some of the current projects that you're working on thanks emily i mean dance movement therapist and also a mental health clinician and i work with all timers patients and people with other dementias and i work mainly at memory care i work in senior housing i do memory cafes and i run dance movement therapy groups and sessions  and sometimes i work one on one with people and i facilitate groups i'm also a mental health clinician and i have a practice two days a week in which i see many different populations in all different age ranges thank you bob or how about you tell us a little bit about who you are in the kind of work you're doing and if you have any current projects underway yes i am a local actor i've been working at my craft for some thirty five years now i am currently performing in a lovely little play called i love you i love you i love you too written and directed by the fairy tales of alan hare in this play i play a woman with alzheimer's it's very near and dear to my heart i have a sister who has alzheimer's and looking forward to performing this and many other locations great great thank you both so let's drill down a little bit adri could you paint a picture for the audience for all of us you know what it's like to see you doing your work if we were to walk in to a session where you're doing your dance movement there but would we say you probably see a circle i like to start my groups in a circle i like to actually do my whole group in a circle i think it's important for everybody to see each other's face s i think it's important for me to see everybody's faces helps the group to feel like one cohesive unit and it helps me to see everybody individually i think it's important for people to feel seen i think it's important for people to feel heard it also helps me to check in sort of on a non verbal level to see how people are experiencing what we're doing so that i can maybe alter what we're doing in some way that makes everybody feel comfortable so you'll see everybody in a circle you'll hear music you'll hear a playlist every time i do a group i have a pretty specific playlist so for example this week my playlist was about september so every song actually have the word september in it and  every song is usually the same ritualistic a beginning a middle and an end usually you'll hear the same song every time we start so the group is familiar with that song it's usually a welcoming or a whole oh song sometimes it's a sort of go around the group and do a check in i started this group this week with earth wind and fire's september so it's pretty rousing some a little bit surprising for some of the members but you know rhythm is very organizing and very cohesive and sort of gets everybody on the same page at once so you would see maybe a clapping rhythm and that's really great because maybe i'll see somebody is foot tapping over there and then i'll be able to start tapping and see what somebody is doing or somebody might be their foot might be going up and down and then i'll be able to incorporate that so how i run a group and how i like to run a group as i like to see what people are doing and try to adopt that into the group so that people are feeling seen and feeling validated when i feel like i'm a conductor or orchestrator i feel like the people are really coming up with the movement of the group and i'm just facilitating it and it's really they're just going to say it sounds to me like facilitation rather than you're presenting to the group which sounds really interesting you're really tuning in to where people are at and how they're moving and then you're playing off of that so yeah  at least for the beginning i mean i think with i think with like frank sinatra september i mean of course his breathing and then there's the leaves falling and then there's really important part you know do you remember when the leaves turn color what's your favorite color leave you know somebody might say this guy is really blue in the leaves and we'll talk about you know this props are really important you might see scarves and maybe that's about the wind and maybe became a brand new day it was very romantic and so the scarves were kind of hugging and sort of lost in a big memory there but we talk about what the movement brings up and had a lot of beautiful moments and lovely and of course you'll see you here and you'll see a ritualized ending so that the group knows what's coming when they hear that song they know that the group is over and it's actually time for us to separate i should tell the audience that  met audrey when audrey came up to a memory cafe in andover and i was so struck by the facilitation and also the tuning in skill there was one woman who was older who audrey went over to and she was having a hard time moving and audrey actually what i recall is that you took her arms and you moved with her and actually audrey was dancing with her even though she stayed in her chair and it was really really powerful to see that attunement and facilitation including you know you kind of waltz with her in this chair so really lovely work barbara can you tell us a little bit about what it would look like if i were to see you perform right will open the play for you great thank you we have a very gifted musician vocalist by the name of mark lippman who plays guitar sings as the play opens marcus sitting on the side of the stage playing and singing try to remember i come in i walk in on the stage with the fellow who's playing my husband fine fine actor by the name of terry is taking my hand and slowly walking me across the stage i stop and i look at the audience and kind of wonder what is going on here and who are all these people and he very gently slowly takes me across the stage and gets me see that comfortably in my chair and the play starts from there it's a very moving moment i think it's a very lovely play some one of the audience members described it as heartbreakingly beautiful and i think that in this did what this place says barbara how did you get into this work how did you find yourself doing this kind of work you said in the beginning that your sister has all time roles and how did you start acting and in general and then specifically acting in general i been wanting to accent i was a little girl always been in my blood if you will i have never done anything about it i didn't until i was my mid forty's but so i performed all over the area but i alan about maybe ten years ago and this particular play just really hit home with me because as i said i do have a sister who has alzheimer's i did a lot of research and reading  i remember reading a book and i can't recall the name of it now this is been a while because i did i played a similar character to this in another one of alan's place so this is kind of a takeoff on  that was a book written by a couple the husband who had alzheimer's so beautifully written book i did a lot of research reading and i volunteered at nursing homes and as i said my sister now is in a nursing home i've seen i've seen that the cline and her from when she first went into the nursing home knowing me introducing me to everybody i would take her out to lunch she could order her own meals  to not making being able to make a decision so i would order for her to just taking her for drives to a constant decline so that now she doesn't know who i am at all  find out where it's playing things audrey how about yourself how did you find yourself getting into dance movement there a p what was your trajectory well i've been a dancer all my life and i went to school undergraduate and got a b a and dance and then i went and got an undergrad graduate degree and dance education became a certified movement and i was when i was getting my graduate degree in dance education my mother said to me why don't you check out dance movement there and i think just because she said it to me it was just you know and then so i was a dance educator for the bulk of my career working in the schools and i had occasion to work with an art therapist and she mentioned it to me and talked about it a little bit more in depth and i went to an open house at lesley university and expressive arts therapies and mental car and i put my family on speakerphone just like i found it and i rolled right away and i've been pretty much on a cloud ever since i've been so happy i wake up every day you know i'm really blessed to do what i do oh it's great so we've already talked about seeing one another's work and the impact it's had on us so let me ask you you know what is the impact you think you're having on caregivers how do you know you're having impact and then the second part of that is you know how have you been changed by your work go ahead why don't you start barbara if i may i would like to give you a little history of the title of this play please came from yes ellen has worked a lot in different nursing homes in the area and this is this woman this was several years back she was probably in her late eighty's at the time and she had also amorous but she was for a book talk no problem one day suddenly she stopped talking completely stopped talking she would say a word the doctors for a maze that have no explanation she just didn't say anything and this went on for about three years after about three years at this time she was probably in her early ninety's she walked up to the nurses station one day looked at the nurse took her hand and said i love you i love you i love you too and that was it this play it's about this woman myself who has alzheimer's and the fellow playing my my spouse my husband who is also the caregiver  shows i think the struggles and the confusion not only of my character and also i'm as a person but also the struggles the pain the loss of the that she had many years ago and she keeps calling him buddy the name of it and she's confused and she gets agitated because her husband isn't responding the way she thinks he should he in turn of course gets irritated by this and becomes angry very angry he comes to realize that the only way he can hold on to this woman that he didn't really love the only way he can communicate with her if you will is to become buddy and you can really see the struggle this terry is a fine fine actor you can you can see the internal struggle that he is having to come over to her family and say i'm buddy come to take you to the dance and i think i think what the play does is give you an insight as to who these people are i think when this woman who said i love you i love you i love you too she was expressing love and i think that's what we can do for these people we need to bring them i hope that's what i'm doing by performing this role that i am showing them up that i am honoring who they are that i am celebrating their life i think it also helps the caregivers because they can see what is going on think that this is not we can relate they can see that someone else was playing this role relates to what they go through they're not alone it's perfectly natural in a way these outbursts is anger i think that's really interesting and i think it's one of the themes that's emerging that i'm hearing is that you're both meeting people where they're at joining them in their presence and their present and accompanying them for that time you know and also maybe i'm projecting but it sounds like in the play you're giving the caregiver permission you know in the play the character has permission to become this buddy next year over which is quite profound and i'm imagining that some caregivers and i've been one myself for parents who have dementia i'm imagining that they hear what they feel permission to to become who they need to become so that they're present with their loved one i mean i think you know that's one of the things that i'm hearing the arts is allowing is creating the space for presence rather than trying to always reminisce about the past or be anxious about the future but both of you it seems to me and meeting people right where they are right so the second part is how have you been transformed especially with your sister or have you been impacted i should say not transformed kindness that so often i've experienced of the folks are quite vulnerable in the caregivers also don't don't experience the kindness instead they experience judgment and self judgment so i think that's a tremendous gift one of the audience members comment that the play will change your mind and your attitude about how we see our loved ones that's jewish lovely quite profound thank you audrey haven't you how do you know you're having impact or what impact do you see on on others participants caregivers families and and how have you been changed if you have impacted by your work well i think presents as a really good word because when you are i guess disapproving therapy to me is an embodied kind of activity different from like physical games or something that you might see in memory care but you are  hopefully mind body spirit in the moment as a mover so when you when a person can be engaged in that way they are very present and do i have a bed where my sleeping tonight all of these questions that you get constantly there they sort of dissipate and i think when you can be in that moment i think also some of the residents that i work with are closest to their real self and that's why we can have a lot of moments of memory and reminiscing and the sort of on the edge of the seat involved movement for body movement and fun and i think that's why sometimes i can step back as a facilitator because they're so in can to crawl of their person and i think sometimes they're not very in control of their whole person and you know a lot of people who have alzheimer's another dimension is lose language very quickly and so being able to express through the body is so important and you know if there if you're having trouble with anxiety or you're scared you can use a lot of perk us as movement and express what you're feeling so i think in that way it allows for beautiful moments to happen i call them like these goosebumps moments and i have them every day so i'm so lucky to and i feel honored and i get these stories and i know that this president had this e failure myth milking a cow and i know this president you know went from canada to upstate new york in an edsel writing in this seat on top of alcohol during prohibition and i know so many of these stories and i kind of feel like a charm bracelet in a way like holding all these people stories that i might get if i didn't do these groups and you said space create space i feel like i create a space in that struggle in order to get to those stories and i love having those stories and that's where i have an impact on the caregiver in certain circumstances because when they come i get to say i had this moment with your mother today or all i had to say moment and listen to this and they sometimes are like really like yes really are you know your mom was like this today and i put my hands on her face and i went like this to her others and she said oh thank you sweetheart and she does not talk so i am so lucky and i think that because i feel that way and i get to tell the caregiver that way and they walk away a little bit lighter because they don't know these things about their loved one and then i feel like i get to bring my best self to work every day so the only and in memory cafs where the caregiver is right along with their loved one that's great because they don't have to carry give so i've had experience with a couple man who cares for his wife got up and they were able to do a slow dance together that was that our cafe have to say the daughter and her husband  did a slow dance behind her mom who was dancing with audrey and i thought to myself when was the last time they were able to spontaneously and so moved in that present you know hold each other in such romantic it's probably selves and express their true selves when when they like go through the movement i think that's a really interesting twist and paradoxical that when we lose our memories and our control over our data and our information which identifies us in our culture we can actually have more control over our authentic self i mean that's in a way what you're saying you're seeing and facilitating i'm so interested in where in the brain yeah being affected  when you are embodied and in the moment you're free lovely you can be so now i'd like us to move a little bit to the magical moment we're already touching upon it but i know i'm audrey you brought some photos and if you want to talk a little bit about maybe a particular magical moment that you've experienced and again we've started touching upon them but if you can choose one and really bring us into that we'll fully and maybe nod to some of the photos that the audience will be able to see that would be great and then barber will hear from you to some of the most magical moments one or two that you've experienced  engaging with her pretty present and i think it's an interesting photo because everybody sort of engage with their own prop in their own way the scarf in their own way some are interacting with each other some are sort of throwing their scarf our way and the woman who i'm moving with hasn't really been participating lately but has been getting up to to waltz with me and slow dance with me and hadn't been in a long time and we had just done sort of this with this waltz and she wanted to chacha and because she kept saying you know moving her feet like she wanted to touch and i don't have that much experience with this sort of current nurse dancing like my parents so i was just trying to follow her feet and i wasn't doing that good of a job so she just sort of you and we don't speak the same language i have a translator and so does she just s when i got it she was moving around the room she was in her own space and giving out the scarves was a way one of a transition that our relationship had been so solidified and i needed to get back to the group and giving out the scarves was one way that i could get back to the group and still have her and sort of transition out of you know getting back to the group but my attention was still is now betty comes over to me hands me a rose and says hello marion i'm buddy i've come to take you to the dance and we get up and we dance and we're dancing for a while and i look up at him and i say now i remember you know is she remembering that he's body or issue remembering that he is edmund current husband i guess that's for the audience to decide i as an actress and being in the role i know what my my feeling is but when she says now i remember you  and she looks up at him and says i love you he in turn says i love you and i love you too that's the title of the play but for me it was extremely touching i can almost feel it now  just it was it was powerful it was a powerful powerful moment and i can imagine that that's what someone in that role as a cure giver w so to me to me is for me as an actress that was very magical lovely thank you and one of the things that we didn't talk about in preparation for the show but it's coming now is that you know in light of you know us focusing on respite respite meaning a short break for both the caregiver and in you know for the relationship and for the family system i'm hearing how it's a break a break from the stress but also a of that as a whole and i think that's the respite piece that we're talking about is for the individual as well as the caregiver yes you know because why talk about the arts and respite but  i'm hearing that it is actually a respite or restored of moment right right it's what i'm taking away from the remembering and the connection and how it impacted you and then how you had to return to the group that you were so moved  that happens for look there's another picture would you mind sharing another magical moment oh so that's the memory cafe for jewish family and children's services in waltham and that's where  caregivers and they bring their loved ones and it's a place where they come and have a snack and some socializing and then there's the main activity which is usually a creative an artistic activity and people usually go same people sometimes usually go every month so they're getting familiar which i didn't know getting sort of to see each other every month which in a way is a respite for people to be able to see the same people every month so caregivers can kind of talk to caregivers and even you know people who are suffering get to talk to people who are suffering so i saluted that month they facilitated the dance movement therapy group and it was great great fun i had beautiful moments with people i had one moment when i was believe tennessee waltz i had toward the end and i was dancing with various people and one woman was in sitting and some people stand most people sit and i try to make sure i get every single person that i have to get to every single person personally and so i held her hand and was just swing with her and she's pretty non verbal but looking in her eyes just sing the entire song to me so i was sort of looking around to everybody else to see what they thought if i needed to sort of break free and attend to everybody but then there was certainly a lot of people there was a lot of staff there that were you know it was ok so i just they were even is lovely the sense of community sounds like that's created through the activity and i would also say i don't know when i go to a theater particularly moving theater there's a sense of oneness even though it's an individual experience it's shared which i think is really powerful piece of you know the the present moment it's not only individual but it's a shared moment really really great so we're we're toward the end of the program today but i'd like us to  discuss a little bit about what suggestions you have for others who are interested in participating in this type of creative work participating either following in your footsteps becoming an actor or actress  and or dance move a therapist what suggestions do you have for someone who wants to facilitate be on that end of things and also a suggestion or two that you may have for someone who wants to you know be on the other side more experiencing your facilitation what are some of your thoughts about how people can become involved in the arts as respite well as far as acting of course there has to be  on the other end of it i think i would really encourage anyone and everyone to see the play i think it has a wonderful message is a very short thirty forty minute play it's absolutely wonderful the play itself i think has a strong message we are looking forward to taking it to as many facilities as possible alan said to tell you he would travel anywhere with as well live i think has a very loving strong message and courage and he want to take part in any way they can sometimes it's sometimes it's  interesting and fun even if you don't prefer to get up on the stage an actual act there are other sorts of background positions you could get involved just been a stage and even then it's exciting it's well worth it lovely thank you and at the end of this program we'll have contact information if people want to find out where they can see the player how they can get in touch with you and or alan right will have that scrolling so great thank you really helped stave off sundowning and caregivers reported that you know their loved ones were in a much better mood for a long period of time after dance mov therapy so i think it's a it's a great field and it's just going to keep expanding you there are i think eight universities that you can become certified as  with their fists right when you come out of the program so you can go to the american dance therapy web site eighty eight dot org and you'll have all that information but you know if you're interested in working with this population  and something a creative arts therapy or this movement there be you can shadow maybe a disagreement there this data site and see what it's all about that might be one way you can go to open house university they also have alternate route way of getting credentialed so you can check all that out at the a t t a web site you can attend a memory cafe and you have all that information on your website  also meet at the end also have information so you know how to reach audrey if you want further information there and again as audrey said on the massachusetts lifespan respite coalition's website will have both of your you know  contacts information and will also have a link to the show so is there anything else you'd like to add as we wrap up anything that we didn't touch upon that you are thinking about  i think the other way that people can get involved in anything like this is to volunteer volunteer at nursing homes some of these great effect when i see first research i went to the nursing home and asked if they had any reading up just time yeah up in the end over area they all timers walk is sunday september eighteenth you can go on all timers associations website we can also put that on our website and you can see where there's a walk in your area very important thank you for that in terms of research and and also other events good well i want to thank you both for being with us and thank the audience also for tuning in and for exploring respite through the arts join us for the next show which w be discussing spirituality and respite and we'll have two great guests who look at the world of the spirit religion and ritual and how we can experience respite through that so thank you