welcome to daring to dream a show of inspiration hope and practical advice for living the life of your dreams you know in these tough economic times pursuing your dreams may be the last thing on your mind you may be struggling just to survive but it's more important than ever that you keep your dreams alive now we need to have hope and faith that our dreams are still possible no matter what our current circumstances are if we don't believe in our dreams who will our guest today has realized her dreams just in the last few years and is living proof that it's never too late to pursue your dreams she proves that with persistence and faith anything is possible so stay tuned for a jolt of inspiration on how you can live the life of your dreams to our guest today is pat hastings a psycho therapist inspirational speaker and spiritual counselor for twenty years pat has worked as a drug and alcohol counselor and now has a private practice specializing in women's issues she's an expert for the national association of divorced women and children and her first book simply a woman of faith was published last year her book is filled with inspirational stories on how unwavering faith will guide you and provide the answers you need to live your dreams pat thank you for joining today thank you susie it's great to be here we're so happy to have year old you thank you so in your book oh it just made me emotional thinking about it but it's just filled with wonderful inspiring stories of situations where your faith has really gotten me through a lot of difficult situations and you know it's wonderful to see someone who at an age where many people would be starting to plan their retirement is starting her life over i mean it's just it's so inspirational before we get into the wonderful things that you're doing now i'd like for you to give us a sense of where you've come from and the path that you've taken to get you to where you are now because you you've lived through some some difficult times  so if you could share and i know of sure i would be glad to get a bath i grew up in an alcoholic home and didn't know that i suffered from growing up in that home until i was in my forty's and went into therapy and really started to get to know myself and what i wanted and what i felt and back twenty five years ago people kept telling me you should write a book because you have such faith stories and to me they were just every day stories and but people would just be like wow that happened to you so twenty five years ago i knew that you were some day i would write a book so you mention at forty that you finally went into therapy to help you kind of realize who you are what i led you to to that to pursue therapy to know that you needed you needed to make a change well my ex husband whent to therapy first because he was out of work for a year and they told him he was an adult child of an alcoholic and i i said well gee i came from an alcoholic home i'll try it because i was in such denial i didn't think that i had any problems and when i went to therapy i really got in touch with the pain that was inside of me i was filled with fear and adequacy self hatred and i really had a lot i know i had blocked it because i was such a people pleaser you know that was so important to me that's how i that's where my self esteem came from pleasing everybody else so when i got in touch with what was really inside it was a painful process but i was so determined to be whole and healed that i just kept pushing ahead and went to workshops and of course i read every book every self help book there was because i wanted to get better right right so what were some of the challenges that you faced and how did you overcome them well  think making that change right i think the biggest challenge for me was believing in myself because i was so filled with fear i didn't think that when i started to write my book i would put it down for a year at a time because i would say nobody's going to read this book i'm wasting my time but it really was fear that's that's what it was it was you know that i wasn't good enough for you that you weren't good enough right rather than i do i think so many people write i was obviously that was my challenge my challenge was really believing in myself trusting myself where i'm not beating up on myself i did that all my life that was my challenge really facing my fear and moving forward even when i was afraid and how did you do that well one of the things that is very very important to me in my own spiritual life is having a daily prayer life where you plug into the power in whether you call that god universe spirit whatever it is but plugging into that power on a daily basis was something that i started thirty five years ago and i started with ten minutes just taking ten minutes to plug in and you know now it's grown and it's something that i don't leave the house unless i pray so prayer and my faith in god is really what moved me through and one of the things that god showed me when i would put the book down because i knew that nobody would read it and because i didn't know how to do business and i didn't know how to do marketing i didn't know any of that stuff so i had so much control that what god was said to me was that if you show up every day i'll show up and how will show up at the perfect time and that's exactly what's happened to you know to me i had to let go and surrender my control because i didn't know what was ahead and that's where i moved through my fear so taking that time each day because i really believe that it's a practice a spiritual practice that that week all cultivate what i mean when we when we choose to you know it sounds it sounds like from reading the book that you've always had a strong faith and you've always practiced a religion and i did i did yeah i used to go to blow up and i grew up in a religion and i did know there was a god but it was later on in my life as an adult that that it's which it's more of a spirituality than a religion right now with a religion were rules and where now it's spirituality is about love it's about going within so the old growing up faith that i had doesn't work for me i'm more right and the wonderful thing about your book is that even though throughout the book you of course refer to god i think your message is so universal and right it applies to any religious background i believe it is it really is about believing in something bigger than yourself it is it is and the people that read the book it just amazes me and it delights me every time somebody says i read your book and i loved it and they tell me that they can't put it down and although there may not be the same stories i think it's the feelings that i'm able to express in the book that they relate to and they they just keep you know they keep wanting to riyadh yeah i had the same experience and i actually there was  one one statement in here that i was so related to when you talked about in the past i have given up following my dreams that because fear gripped me and the pit of my stomach and i became stuck i didn't know how to take it a step at a time trusting god would give me what i needed at the right time not before and i mean i find this so much in the people i work with who are trying to pursue their dreams so many people get a grip by fear and phil stop right and they can't move forward right i remember going to bed one night and now i had a i had a coach my book was just about done and i had what i call the fear attack and i went to bed crying like god why have you chosen me you know i'm in over my head i don't know what i'm doing and i went to bed and i got up the next morning it was pretty drained and i went to work and i in my office and then i went  into the the lounge and there was a magazine you know people's magazine which i never read and i was just cleaning up and i picked it up to throw it away and for whatever reason i opened it and it said god has a plan that will make all of your dreams come true oh my god and i just sat there and i put my head and i boiled and i said ok and i think at that moment is when i surrendered and i said ok god and i said ok you know enough of me just keep saying i can't do it at one point i put it down and i said you've chosen the wrong person i'm not doing it wow i'm not doing it and i really meant it and it was fear again sure but it was a whole year that i didn't look at it and people would say how do you do in the book and i said i put it to bed  and i didn't want to hear anymore about my book but it will be if you get back to it well it was really interesting i was doing a retreat i do lead women's spirituality retreats and i was doing a retreat and it was love of letting go of fear and as i was writing my talks i realized that i was full of fear and i said you know how am i going to give a retreat when i'm full of fear when the title is love is letting go of i said ok god i'm ready to move forward again soon again and again and i belong to toastmasters which it international group to help you to speak with the wonderful group the wonderful group and while i was there at they have what they call table topics where you're asked to speak for three month minutes on a subject that you don't know about so i raised my hand to challenge myself and i went up and my question was what are you afraid of and what you going to do about it well i said i'm afraid of finishing my book that i don't know what i'm going to do but i'm willing to be led two days i went two days later i went to a toastmasters conference and i chose a workshop it was on setting goals and it was the title didn't turn me on because i teach setting goals and wrap this but she was an author and i said i'm going to go to her class and i went to the talk and i sat there and the tears just came rolling down my cheeks because she shared she had just published a book and she gave all so i knew so you were led to this work  and i got the information and what she shared which was a pivotal time in my life was she had a little intention book and lots of people know it as a vision board so we put your pictures up and you know your dreams up she had a little album and in it were her pictures and i knew that that's what i needed to do because i needed to change my thinking on the inside before anything would happen on the outside and i kept saying i'm not an author i don't know how to write so i had to change that so i went home that next day i bought myself a little out of them and i sat there with magazines and i cut out words that i cut out pictures and i put favorite you know favorite sayings and in the beginning of the book i had three intentions one of them was to have my book published in one year the other one was to win a speech contest and the third one was to meet my soulmate well the first one my my book was published exactly one year from doing the book and i did win a speech but i haven't met my soulmate y but i know that that putting those dreams in that little book is really got me through that year i read it every day night and day some guys that is such a powerful tool that people all over lo messages from god and you know so often and we don't trust our gut instinct or we get a little messages and we ignore them and you don't really know or trust you know what what's this about oh it's just you know which i thought so how did you develop that tool of distinguishing oh this is god leading me yeah it's really paying attention starting with like small things like call so but it's somebody when i have a little story and they're about to go in another door and and i remember when when i heard that small still voice go in another door it's like you know why do i have to go to another door but when i followed that i saw the reason so it's like it's really listening paying attention and then you have big things like one of my one of the stories that was very powerful it's in my book because it's about a time when i went to newport and i was really had just received my bachelor's degree and i worked through that work through the fear to get a degree and i was feeling so i was just really feeling god's love i asked him to lead me to somebody that i could let them know that god loves them and the whole weekend nothing was coming to me and i figured well that's just you know my own voice i was about to leave and i drove out to the rocks and as i'm driving i heard that small still voice say pull over here and i did and i got out of the car and i looked around and there was you know lots and lots of kids and adults playing and throw a book and i said now what i heard that voice over there and there was a woman sitting at the at the rucks and and then of course i said oh you know i got maybe i'm not hearing you i got to turn around but i couldn't i couldn't because i was compelled i was propelled to move forward so i walked over to her and she was sitting down pensive a pencil just looking out in the water and i said hi my name is pat hastings and she just looked at me and i said god wants you to know that he loves you and she just want to stare crying and i didn't know what was going on and i just quietly put my hand on his shoulders and when she finally calmed down i mean the whole body just sho she said oh i wanted to die i was about to commit suicide yeah yeah so it's just yeah you know so but i listened i asked for guidance i asked to be led and then i listened right you know and i and the story that i love to tell is my god but i love that story and still have a blast this was about twenty five years ago and my ex husband was out of work and we had four children under the age of ten so i was difficult we were a i was picking up the kids one day from school i had some time to kill so i went to the local boat and as i walked into the store i saw the sale sign the clearance sign so i guess i had to go check it out and i was just looking through the clothes and i was down this blouse that just i fell in love with it it was just a beautiful blouse and it was ten dollars and i had ten dollars in my pocket but that was for bread and milk when i got home so as i was a reluctantly putting the blouse back i heard that small still voice say buy it and i will provide and i stood there and i said wow is that how you got it was that me just wanting to buy it was right but i was used to paying attention to that voice i bought the blouse and i picked the kids up from school and didn't say anything to anybody and when i when i came in i grabbed the mail and there was a card in there with just my name and i said i wonder who this is from and i opened it up and it was a card with a ten dollar bill and it said to pat from the son of a carpenter it's incredible you know yes every time i tell this story it's still like wow yeah so it was from somebody who also listened to god the timing of it was incredible credible it would have been  as powerful and if it happened a week later it would have still been powerful but to have been right that time yeah right so that's really when i think i knew that that's when god wanted me to write a book yeah well i would think that that would probably only i have something important yeah right but yeah but you know when i started to write the book seven years ago i kept putting it down because i didn't believe in again i didn't believe in myself right i didn't believe that i could do it or that anybody would want to hear what i had to say right and now to think that my book is touching lives it's incredible so tell us about all the wonderful things you're doing now well i just retired from my so i'm starting a new korea that's so exciting it's very exciting and it's all very well for anyone you know watching who maybe you know what a similar point to write and thinking what am i going to do now how you can start over and what's incredible is that all the things that i didn't know a year ago the doors are opening up people are coming to me and helping me i went to a woman in enterprise and they teach women how to start a business i didn't know how to do a business plan i still don't know what they're going to teach me how to do that i'm going to networking groups and that's when i said i'm not a marketer i love marketing yeah i love talking i love meeting new people and i feel like hansel and gretel like you know with the crumbs like i'm finding this and then the i go here and this one says yeah i'd like you to come on my show and write it's just been it's been very exciting but it i'm not scared today after i actually gave my notice at work it was like oh my god what did i do especially at this time of the economy i write you know i gave up a wonderful good paying full time job to trust god and know did you feel like that's what you were being led to do that yes there were things for you absolutely yeah yeah i prayed for a whole year before i actually retired it wasn't like a you know a quick thing i kept bringing it to prayer every day and i saw myself one and i have a little affirmation that when i retire i'm going to have total peace because i didn't want to retire and be anxious you know or and i have this incredible peace you know that's my intention and each day when i wake up i get on my knees and my intention is to be peaceful to love and to serve so i put that out there right away and people tell me you have such peace but i wasn't always like that yeah i used to rush around like a crazy lady doing three things at a time i do everything fast so many of us do that i know well i was addicted to rushing because i didn't want to go in and feel my feelings about and see what really was on the inside so i just stay busy stay busy yeah and now that you've me and what have you found i found a wonderful person and i found a beautiful person in there a loving person who really wants to give and really wants to share god's love in the name of my book is simply a woman  faith because i'm no better than anybody else you know and god wants to do that the miracles for everybody right and just by me sharing those stories i think it really inspires people you have that going to happen to me to actually and just anyone who has ever thought about writing a book right right you know it's like don't give up you can do it right you can do it with no experience exactly right i knew that i would get what i needed and one of the stories is my ex husband needed shoes because he was out of work and he needed a size twelve day that's just a crazy story  prayed and i didn't get it but shortly maybe a few weeks i walked into a yard sale and we saw these boxes shows and i said these these issues and i looked at some of the shoes and it was no men shoes so i was about to leave when the man and it had gone out of business and he wanted to just get rid of the shoes i've course i bought the shoes and i you know ran home and i'm a fit my husband perfectly like cinderella and it's just and so that's one of the tips you know i expect to have an answer yeah another one is on forgiveness and that's really important to forgive so for anyone watching that is failing doubt fall fear hopeless what advice do you have for them to connect with the power within yeah to take time five minutes a day to just sit and be in the presence of  god that would be that's key because when we do that we then feel the love and you know we go in because everything we need is inside of us yes so that would be my my and to just to trust and to be grateful yes it's key to be grateful for what i have we often look at what i don't have yes and we look at what's missing so to be grateful be grateful for what i do have you know my family there's always something to be grateful for that changes the energy when i'm doubtful or down when i just get grateful and i may write ten twenty things down what i'm grateful for i think keeping a gratitude journal for years yes and it makes a huge difference really  does it really lift sure mood it changes the energy how negative energy we focus on what we do have and then we get more of what we want we focus on what we don't have we get more of that it's it's you know so much is in our thinking that's really why that's really what needs these stories are an inspiration and what you're doing with your life is an inspiration and i know that you're going to continue to do many wonderful thing thank you thank you so you've been really nice being here thank you so for anyone who's watching if you are struggling to pursue your dreams if you feel fearful doubt fall the key is to shift your thinking it really requires that you shift your thinking from thoughts of fear to believe and hope and you can pursued your dreams you can make your dreams come true you just have to believe in them and take action winds small step at a time if you or anyone you know has an inspirational story that you could share with us we would love to hear from you so please contact me at susie at susie's spidey dot com or contact the belmont media center thanks for watching today and we'll see you next