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{"text": "Sorry to crash your tiny troping party, butI'll be sure to make it a LOT more fun!GWAHAHAHA!(For any wimps who speak English, you oughta read this in the voice ofHarvey Atkin, Marc Graue, Rob Wallace, Scott Burns, Patrick Pinney, Christopher Collins, Christopher Hewett, Kenny James,Dennis HopperorJack Black. For the Japanese punks, read this in Akiko Wada, Masaharu Sat\u014d, orKenta Miyake's voice. Think up anyone whoisn'tmy voice,noteunless you have a good idea about who should be,and I'll be sure to drop a Bob-omb brigade right at your door! Now, what else... Oh yeah! For added effect,put onone ofmysickjamswhile you'reat it, too!And one more thing...THIS PAGE'S GOT UNMARKED SPOILERS.So don't come crying to me, if for whatever crazy reason you wanna unlearn something awesome I did! Happy reading, chumps!)(a large, ominous castle pooling with lava waited with trepidation and awe for the arrival of the handsomest, manliest king known to man...as I stomp my way toward the throne room, I bark out the order:)OPEN THE DOORS!(and so...with gusto, my troops popped open those massive doors, as my muscled, powerful self was framed in shadow)Kamek: Behold...the King of the Koopas!(stomp...stomp...)(rears my head back...for a triumphant laugh!)GWAHAHAHAHAHA!Did someone page the king of awesome?Well, if so, it took 'em long enough! I don't know what kinda messed up mind would think thatOl' Purple 'Stachedeserved a page before me... it just ain't fair!I always hog his spotlight, so clearly I should deserve even MORE of it!The dude's a loser if you ask me! And yeah, seriously, youdon'tgotta tell me thatEggygot a page too...noteDr. Eggman:Hello!but that's not enough awesome villainy for this site! So who better to provide more grade-A, prime-cut, 100% evilnoteOkay, maybe not always.than the meanest, toughest tyrant around -KING BOWSER!Unless you nerds were livin' under a rocknotewhich, if you are...Get Out!How do you evenEATdown there?!! ...S-Scratch that, I'd rather not know., I don't think I gottahavean introduction! I'm just that big of a deal, baby! Right now I'd just jump right into the tropes from here, but...bah! Forget it, I guess I can make sure the rock-dwellin' losers know my name well too. I might even get a couple minions outta it!I'm Bowser, the supreme leader and ruler of the whole Koopa Troop and kingdom, and I've pretty much been callin' the shots since I was a baby Koop! I got a wonderful little boy, Jr. (ask about his mom and I'll fry ya!), and seven...fellasworking under me known as the Koopalings! Now you might be askin', if I'm a king, how come I don't have a crown? Well, I figured thatmy long, flowing locksshould do the talking! Me and my troops are all about evil plans, especially those to do with thewaylamer, wuss-ville Mushroom Kingdom, where those linguini lappingMario Bros.laze around in!Trust me, I've known both of 'em since we were kids... they REALLY suck. They'reEVERYTHINGI can't stand about idiots tryna look like heroes! They look like man-babies, theyactlike man-babies, and considering that they gotnothingelse to do with their lives besides trashing my plans and looking stupid, I'm gonna just take a wild guess and say that they'relegitman-babies! If you ever wanna see a real pain in the tail who trounces all over a perfectly good evil plan, look no further than that pair of spaghetti squash for brains! ...Though I gotta admit,they sure know how to set up a good time for even me and the son...but I just see races and sports as more opportunities to stick a victory into their faces!So, apart from stomping plumbers flat, what's my big deal with that shroom kingdom? Well, I'll give you two words; Princess Peach! Iusedto snatch Peach so I could use her magic for whatever I wanted (hey, with how annoying they are, those Toadsdeservedbeing bricked up) ...but...eh...to keep that long story short,that changed a little bit after a while......I'mblushing?!YOU'RE blushing!!Anyway, you can probably get the gist of my routine by now.I roll up, I grab Peach, hope to the stars she loves me for anything, the pasta punks chase me across different worlds to stop me...aside from meLOSINGevery time, I think the schtick hasn't gotten old! If there's anything that makes evil plans kick-butt, it's making 'em timeless! I've been nabbin' Peach anywhere and anywhen I can! I've stolen herfromhercastle,on her vacation(and my own!),in my dreams(no, seriously,don't youdarelaugh),stuffed her INTO her castle using its own Power Stars,tossed Mario out of her castle so I could take it over personally,stole some Star Rod doohickey and took her whole castle hostage on top of my own,teamed up with some weird papery version of me to get our Peaches and take out BOTH our Marios (and Luigi),set up a whole wedding for her, on the MOON...shoot, I even kidnapped PeachIN SPACE....twice!...(stomps the ground hard)WAKE UP, DUDE!Jeez, I didn't know nerds like you got bored so easily! You wouldn't know how to respect your rulers if it was punching you in the face with a THWOMP! Hmph, whatever, I think you get the point... I've been nabbing Peacha lotover the years, and I'll just keep doing itoverandOVERuntil the deed is done! I don't even care how many times I lose,oneof these days she'll fall for me and dump stachey boy in the... well...DUMP!!!Who wouldEVERfall in love with that stache-grooming,pasta-scarfing, shroom-smuggling,wahooing, minion-squishing,Yoshi-riding, coin-hogging, toilet-CLEANING LOSER LIKE THAT?!! IT'S SO DISGUSTING! HE'S A LOSER! AND, OOOH... DO I... REALLY... HATE HIM!!!(blows a large stream of fire up at the ceiling)CURSE YOU, MARIOOOOOO!!!...Grrrr... gimme a sec... yeah, let's forget about that whole Peach thing for now. The more I think about it, I think up a thousand more ways to stomp Mario's pudgy face in. It probably goes without saying, but no good villain is an one-trick pony! I've pulled off plenty of cool schemeswithoutlaying a finger on Peachy! Case in point,I caught those little fairy things to power my own amusement parknotetry and beat MY production value, Eggy!,crashed pretty much all of Mario's silly little get-togethers,and once trashed a whole island with some new awesome power born from my rage!Crud, Junior... I still gotta ground that dang kid for painting all over my face... I just wanted a nap!!Of course, you probably didn'tjustsee me pullin' off one awesome boss fight after another! I've graced the world of television with my handsome mug,where I had a million different identities and was willing to cause some big trouble with every one of 'em!Speakin' of trouble, I've just recently dominated a kingdom of penguins dressed as wannabe royals for the Super Star they've hidden away, all comin' to you on the big screen! GRAB YOUR TICKETS FOR THE BOWSER MOVIE, NERDS!And there was also... uh\u2026the weird human me.W-We... we don't talk about the weird human me.EITHERof them.Anyway, enough of all that! I think I've covered all the basics... now time to get troping! Keep 'em accurate! Write it how I would! And most importantly, don't half-shell it or else I'm pulling out the spiny shells! Now scram, and don't disappoint!Gwahahahahaaa!!These are the biggest, baddest tropes around, and don't you forget 'em!open/close all foldersA-DAccessory-Wearing Cartoon Animal: Hey, look...Icanwear clothes, I just have the choicenotto. The shell and bands are enough to get mymanlinessacross! Now don't think about it too hard, andDON'T GET ANY WEIRD IDEAS.Achilles' Heel: I don't even know if Iwannaknow why, but...I can pretty tank anyone in a fightEXCEPTfor Mario! And...well, any one of his chump pals too now that I think of it, but especially the moron himself. I'm attributin' it to really crummy luck until then!Acrofatic: Go ahead, buddy, call me lardy all you want, but what you're really lookin' at is pure muscle! This is a Koopa who knows how to REALLY throw his weight around! Heck, I can jump higher thanMarioif I feel like it!Adaptational Villainy: Oh, don't get me wrong,I'm a nasty piece of work, alright, butmy grand return to theatersis...Uh... Simply showing offwhat Icoulddo if I just went all-out. Nogoing easy on my troops, nohesitating with tortureortryin' to drop prisoners into lava, not evenPeach would have gotten a pass for trying to weasel out of our wedding. Like I said,I could've done that kind of stuff if wanted to,I. Just. Don't. Feel like it.End of story, moving on!Besides,it's not like the usual laughs aren't therewhen you're played by ol' Jacky.Actually a Doombot: GWAHAHA! Don't fool yourself into thinkin' you beat me in, like, worldone. That's probably just a minion I had who disguised themselves as me!I also pulled this off at one tower I had, just to make sure Ikeep on winning!Adipose Rex: If you're thinking I'm just a slow tubby guy, you're in for a surprise! I'm atankof muscle who can slam anyone down into the ground in a second!Advancing Boss of Doom: When Iused Mario's goofy little powerups against him, I was doubling myself over and over as he climbed up my great tower! It was justswarmingwith adorable kitty me's, and I stood at the very top, cornering that pesky wimp...I almost had him on the ropes, until I remembered that someAIRHEADleft a POW block there!! Gee, THANKS for that!A Father to His Men:I don't always show it, but my troops follow me outta respect and honor, and I keep 'em around for it. No more, no less!Affably Evil: Me?Nice?...Pfft, I don't like to think so, but...alright, look, Idoreally love Peach, and youbetI will for my whole life. I just don't understand why she'd choose that pizza addict over me...well, alright, I guess Mario isn'tallbad. If there's one thing I can respect him for, it's for the challenge he gives me!A God Am I: Well, I don't really come out andsayit, but I surefeelit a lot of times! One time I've been able to make a whole galaxy and I've been prepping to make Peach my eternal queen by my side...bummerthatdidn't happen. I've also gotten godlike power through a lot of cool powerups, like the Grand Stars and that one weird Dream Stone! I still miss my rainbow flame, that was so rad...Alternate Self: Do we really have to talk about the human me? Grr... fine.The human version of mewasn'ttoobad I guess,Dennywas the only thing keeping that movie from being a total stinker, even if I looked more like aSleazy PoliticianthanThe ConquerorI really am.And Now You Must Marry Me: If Peach is reading this, YOU BETTER! Just let me pick out a really pretty gown for ya and I'll crash by! ...um, would you be okay wearing white? Wait a sec- HEY!YOUHEARD NOTHING, TROPE-DOPE!Anti-Climax Boss: Do I REALLY have to...?! ...Okay, much as I hate to admit it, I do have a track record of fights that aren't that challenging.My first shot against Marioisn't much of a step up from the fakes I sent his way... The first six breathed fire, and the last one threw hammers. You know I'm the real deal 'cuz I do both at once! I still go down easily if you just run past me and cut that stupid bridge like a spoilsport,instead of fighting me like a REAL man with no power-ups to help you...But cut me a break! That was the first game I popped up in, so it was a beginner's mistake! Plusjust getting through my castle is a challenge enough already.You know, BESIDES the stupid bridge architecture...In myrematch with Mario, I'm a totally unique enemy with NO fakes at all... who still doesn't put up much of a fight. I try to jump and do a good Bowser Bomb right on top of Mario, which is so weighty it smashes part of the floor! Of course considering how much of a slippery slimeball he is, he can dodge the attack easily, andif I smash the same spot in the center of the floor three times, I fall through it, and he wins.Again...WHO DESIGNED THIS ARENA?! I still breathe fire at Mario too, buthe's such a pipsqueak that he makes my aim get so cruddy, I can't even hit him if he's below me!Jeez...I gotta get myself better castle designers, ones that don't actively PUT MY LIFE AT RISK.Thelevel Mario has to get throughwhen he interrupts my family vacationwas brutal enough, soI went easy on him!Hey, it was tough for ME to go through that stupid mountain, I empathize with him! All beating me in that game takes is aGround Poundin the right place on the stage, and knock me out of my nice, scalding hot bath. RUDE.My second battle with Mario in spacegets screwed up ROYAL in the final phase where I fight Mario in the middle of a black hole...and this time the loser just needs to ground pound rocks into me. Hey, SHUT IT, it's not my fault! I would never design a fight so short the player doesn't get to enjoy the great final boss theme!COSMOLOGY SUCKS AND ISN'T FAIR!Mario caught me off guard when hecrashed my wedding with Peach,so I didn't have time to come up with any new attacks from our last fight apart from souping up what I already had.Hey, so we're clear,those strats worked out the THIRD time! I just needed to work extra hard and throw you nerds off-guard!Anti-Villain: Sometimes I may look like I'm stirrin' up some evil, but some of my goals aren't that evil! What's the big problem with decorating my castle with those pretty Mini Stars? Remodelling's not evil!Arch-Enemy: Yeah, NO DUH! Once a plumber hater,alwaysa plumber hater! I've fought tougher chumps in my time, but none of them, ZERO of them have EVER grinded my gears the way Mario does! I mean, with how many times he's wrecked my plans, it almost feels like he's expecting me toyieldone of these days! Well, guess what, fat boy...I DO NOT.Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: You know what they say about big people having a big presence!I once went on a galactic conquest while huge the whole time,I always get to have a snappy Giga look in those Smash tournaments, and in thatweird dreamy world?I was able toOUT-HUGELuigi. That's what daily servings of spicy hot meat can give ya, kids! Gwa ha!Awesome Ego: Look, when you've got yourself a huge kingdom and an even huger adoring following, how could yanotgive yourself a pat on the shell for it?Back from the Dead: More often than I'd like...sometimes when I fall into lava, I get to come back as a Dry Bones for a while. It stings...alot, but I always go back to my living prime!Badass Armfold: Always love that pose! Besides, it gives me a free reason to show off my hulking guns!Badass Cape:Usedto wear one back in the day, but I quit for two reasons; the stupid thing never stayed on my shell right, and when it comes to battle, I keeptrippingover it! So then and there I learned a lesson in trouncing plumber boy:NO CAPES!Badass in a Nice Suit: I got the best tailors over at my kingdom, and they only give me their best! I got a gorgeous wedding suit, a smokin' hot doctor's coat, some hip sports outfits...you name it, I got it! Just don't ask about the metal-plated shoes...Koopa anatomy is apainsometimes!The Bad Guy Wins: Oh yeah! It's true, people! Mario may win almost all the time, but I actually got one total win over his sorry rear! Ready to hear it?! Here ya go...I booted him off my bubble making tower!... Look, it'smuchmore impressive than it sounds, stop staring at me!!Benevolent Boss: What good's a king if not grateful to his workers? My troops fear me for sure, but that was never the reason why they came to me. They just joined my army because I'm that awesome! Movie me on the other hand...hmph,at least the dude still knows how to keep 'em all in line!Berserk Button: The moment plumber boy starts up with me is the moment Mr. Nice Bowser goes buh-bye!note...well, that and someone reading my diary...wait,WHYIS MY DOOR OPEN?!Beware the Silly Ones: Oh, you think I'm silly, huh? Well, say that againafterseeing mepunch a dark, ancient copycat of me to death!And that's justoneachievement I got under my belt!Big Bad: Pfft,what gave that one away?!I amTHEbig bad anywhere I go, pure and simple! And I'm not bluffing - look up that world records' top 100 video game villains, and yours truly is right where he belongs - the tip-top!noteGLaDOs:Youarekiddingme.YouDOunderstandthattheONlyreasonIamSECondplacecouldbeBEcauseIwasturnedintoA POTATO.Don'tbother BRAGging,itmightmakeyouMOREtolerAble.Yeah, yeah, keep on shakin' salt, robo-lady! SUCKERS DON'T TAKE THE PRIZE!Big Bad Duumvirate: While Iusuallydon't care to make it last, I did work with a few other guys to take Mario out in the past, including another me! There was also that one weird Antasma guy...heh,noregrets on dumping that sorry dingbat.Big Bad Wannabe:YOU DARE CALL ME A WANNABE?! I OUGHTA PUMMEL YOU SILLY,YOU\u2014!!!...(heavy sigh)Fine...yeah, I was duped, humiliated or used a lot in the past, but I've straightened out, really! Just don't remind me about all that crud, I'm tired of being possessed by weirdos!! Why else would I still be around when most of them aren't?Big Beautiful Man: Oh, you'dbetterbelieve it. I'm a mountain of testosterone just waiting to pump iron and piledrive scrawny nerds like no tomorrow!Boss-Arena Idiocy: Idiot? YOU'RE an idiot! Sorry if you're so stuck up about it, but to me,NOTHINGis wrong with putting an axe near my bridge!And besides, it ain't ME who approved it! It's just the bozos who design my castles who screw up such an awesome, super-climatic setup every single time!Breakout Villain: Before me, Mario had some no-name pinheads goin' up and at him, like...uh...that one foreman dude, and I think Donkey Kong's grandpa? Yeah, you don't remember these chumps becauseIturned out to be so much cooler than them! Gwa ha ha!Breath Weapon: My trusty Captain Flame usually does a lot of the talkin' for me, though after that little bean nerd conned me, I also got myself aVacuum Mouthpower on top of that!Butt-Monkey: Call me that again and I'll punch you into next month, buddy! ...Though Iguessit's right. The whole stinkin' world is against me sometimes, especially when there's some nobody trying to upstage me... good thing I've moved past that crud after that Antasma guy tried it!I'd even rather be called anIronButt Monkeyfor how I'mstillhere after everything they've dished out!Card-Carrying Villain: I justlovebeing mean! I don't need no reason or purpose for it, it's just all running in my blood! And if you got an issue with it...too bad!Catchphrase: I had a few that stuck for a while, though they neverreallylasted like that shroomface Mario's did.Way back then I always used to say this ol' chestnut: \"He who koops and runs away gets to koop another day!\" Hey, it's dated now, but it's still ringin' true in my book!I also got a habit of saying \"I'll remember this!\" whenever someone screws me over in one of Mario's dumbo parties. And trust me, I still rememberEVERYsingle one!! I don't need to forgive if I don't forget!Ooh, yeah, and there's also my personal favorite...SHOWTIME!Cats Are Mean: Just fetch me a Super Bell, and I'll have Meowser prove that to you! Hope you don't mind all the property damage! BWAHAHA!Chained by Fashion: Well, I don't wearchainsper say, though I don't think my stylish collar and armbands are holdin' me back from looking like a beast!The Chosen One: Eugh, now you're just making mecringe!WhoCARESif I'm one of these goofball \"heroes of light\" in theLight Proggo-not-worth-reading?!I deserve better than to be lumped with Mario! In fact, I think calling me theChooser of Wimps to Dropkickfits me better, thank youverymuch! GWA HA HA!Clipped-Wing Angel: During the last phase of the fight with me inMario Party 5, I drink a potion to turn into a giant. Unfortunately, it makes me a bittoo big, and I fall through the floor, getting stuck.Clown Car: My go-to ride for when I wanna fly from kingdom to kingdom, or just rain Mechakoopas all over Mario's wimpy face!Though I still think it's got a fuel issue...Cool Car:I've always had plenty of hot rods, but my best one's gotta be the Bowser Mobile I used when I nabbed those puny Sprixies. That thing even lit up all over, and it was just AWESOME!Dark Is Evil: Well, I don't look it myself, but I've got plenty of dark magics and dark castles to make up for it!Though, I don't really wanna take it TOO literally after I messed with that color fountain...A Day in the Limelight: It's way too rare for my taste, but I've gotten a lot more time to shinewhen Fawful decided to crash in,and I also got to totally DOMINATEone of Mario's parties!MAN, I love bein' the center of attention...heh heh heh!Demonic Possession: Rrrrgh...do Ireallygotta talk about this? Fine. A lot of times, my mind's been controlled by...geez,everythingthese days. From a weird witch ghost, to weird black paint, to a weird mega-dragon thing, toSTICKERS?! WHY WOULD A STICKEREVERBRAINWASH ME?!?!I DON'T GET IT! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STATED WHENMARIOUSED CAPPY TO CAPTURE MY SOUL (though he did save me and Peach from inside the moon, so I'll have to give him that,plus he didn't have as much luck with her either)! THAT'S A WHOLENEWLEVEL OF A SLAP TO THE FACE! Funny thing is though, I got to possess stuff too! The black paint Jr. rubbed all over me gave me a huge power boost, but it was really myfurythat did the rest of the work and started makin' everything as crazy as I was. HA! NOW I know how cool it feels!Despotism Justifies the Means: And the means are that you bow down to ME and kiss my tail every day of your life!Making the world better for people?Making my minions be as useless as possible?BAH!What a total waste of time! I prefer my kingdom thriving in my name with my armies working full-time at full strength! This whole world's got my name written all over it, and if I'm gonna take it over only when I'm some old geezer, then that'll be good enough!Determinator: If I ever give up kidnapping Peach, then my name ISN'T King Bowser Koopa! I'll just keep nabbing her, trouncing Mario and taking over those shroomheads untilthe END OF TIME!!Because I got the guts, the perseverance, and the MIGHT to see it all through! OH YEAH!Devil in Plain Sight: For some weird reason, there'sstillbatches of morons who don't even know who I am! I once even had to introduce myself to somebody as a \"businessman of legend\"! What am I to them, the King of GUYS WHO TALK TOPOSTERS?!!Draco in Leather Pants:WHOA, WHOA, MAN! TIME OUT! What makes ya think I'm so stinkin' sweet on the inside, you weeb?! I'mnasty,cruelandWICKEDthroughout! I'm the evilest guy who's ever lived! ... ...well, I still love my son...and Peach, and my troops...Mario can put together a blast of a party, when he actually bothersINVITINGme...and I never really got to ride a Yoshi back when I was a squirt...and...I never knew what happened to Jr.'s mother... ... ... ...j-just somethin' in my eye.Let's...just move on...E-MEgopolis: Awesome castles and awesomer kingdom aside, I even got the coolest city in the world...NEO BOWSER CITY!Where I'm the ever-lovin' president looking out for his people, people get rich on Koopa Koins, and every person's life depends on whether or not they worship me! It's a heck of an awesome place to-WILL YOU STOP BRINGIN' UPDINOHATTAN?!!IT! DOES! NOT! EXIST!Enemy Mine: Itblowswhen I gotta do it, but Mario and Ihaveteamed up to stop some wannabe evil dudes in the past. There wasthe weird robot guy who stole my castle,and that lame count with all his ditzy henchmen workin' for him.I bet you athousandcoins I coulda roasted those chumps to a crisp ALL ON MY OWN. Pff, oh well...at least I got to use a real cool bazooka one time!Even Evil Has Loved Ones: There's nothing, and I mean NOTHING on this world I wouldn't do for my Peach, Kamek, my brat pack of Koopalings or my boy Jr.. I may be evil for sure, but I still got a heart for those who earned it!Even Evil Has Standards: Look, storming a kingdom and taking it over by force is one thing...butplanning to wipe out a whole species?Stealing Peach's voice and swapping it out with a bunch of bombs?Using a black hole to suck up all dimensions?!Thoseare something else altogether!NOTwhat I want to deal with!And let's not get started on so-called supreme entities that plagueSmash. I want to conquer the world/universe, not destroy it!Everyone Owns a Mac: Yeah, I got an iPhone not too long ago! You probably saw me use it to keep Jr.'s Switch parental controls up and running... the kid'sgottastart catching up on his duties soon!Evil Counterpart: I still find it crazythat dark star thinghad to go and copy MY DNA to try and become unstoppable...too bad he didn't copy much of my skill! Though I can't help but think on what he last said...the guy almostactedlike me when I lose. It's...uh...I don't think too deep on that. All I know is, he's gone andgood riddance!Evil Laugh:I bet it's stuck in your head already, isn't it?GWA HA HA HA HA!Evil Is Bigger: And all the better for it! Gwar har har!! When it comes to big bad brutes, I pretty much wrote the book! Everyone else looks like atwerpnext to me!Evil Is Burning Hot: My sweet fire breath, refreshing hot lava, volcano activity all around a fiery castle...heh, notice the pattern?Evil Is Cool: And don't you know it! Everyone loves me for being so awesome and having the funniest scenes in any Mario game whenever I appear. Lots of fans favor me over Mario for this and that I have a much more fully formed personality.Evil Gloating: I know it's Villainy 101 to not gloattoomuch, but I just can't help it! Winning against Mario is just SUCH an awesome rush!Evil Is Hammy: Well, what's the problem in lettin' out your energy and expressing yourself? I'm very passionate about what I do, y'know!Evil Overlord: You're looking at the best of them! I even rule overotherkings like King Boo, so the whole \"overlord\" part fits me to a T now that I think about it!Evil Redhead: I know, my mane is hot stuff! I even groomed it over for my wedding!Evil Sorcerer: Not so much anymore, since punching stuff is more fun, but I've still got bunches of Koopa magic when I need it. Like I said before, I stuffed Toads into blocks, stuffed Peach into her own castle walls, caused a big lightning storm at the Star Festival...I even get to teleport! INSPACE. Awesome, huh?!Evil Sounds Deep: I always got my soothing, alluring baritone to woo Peach over with and yell at my troops with! ...provided I get a glass of water anyway, otherwise it sounds too ugly.Just listen to megive Peach a \"special\" announcementand try not to squee!And y'know, I love the sound of my voice so dang much, I thought that Black-Jack guy hadnochance of doin' it himself! And what do ya know, that dude turned upTENACIOUS!Evil Versus Evil:Everyonetries to copy my style these days, to say nothin' about the times they triedstealingit! I don't work with others unless they're working forme, and that's that! Don't even talk about that king croc guy either, he doesn't know thefirst thingabout treating an army well! Even that ripoff flat me doesn't get thatI'Mthe top dog here!Evil Versus Oblivion: The reason I help Mario, Peach, and Luigifind the Pure Hearts to save the world. I can't rule the world if the world ends.No I did not need Mario to point this out to me.Fiction 500: Wreck a castle of mine? Pssh, oh well, I got like a million more to move into. I got riches that even Mario's fatty knockoff onlywisheshe had!The Fighting Narcissist: I'm pretty sure the whole world knows I'd completelyknock downeveryone else in those Smash tournaments. I GUARANTEE IT! Not thattheysuck at fighting, though alot of 'emdo (seriously, TOO MANY SWORD WEEBS!!), but just that I'm so way ahead of them all!Final Boss: What's a finale without Bowser? A crummy finale, that's what! Chances are, when you think \"final boss\", your mind goes straight tome!I'mTHATlegendary, baby!Foe Yay Shipping:WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?Mario and Iplay games, but...WE! ARE! NOT! A! COUPLE!And even worse, there are those messed up people who like todraw me as a ladyso they can pair with Mario!Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: I'm pretty good at avoiding this, because I'm right there from the start, Iwantyou to know who the real bad guy is. The only time wasjust after that sorry excuse of a lizard rescued Luigi the second time Kamek captured him. Come to think of it, whydidI travel back in time to fight him anyway?Genius Bruiser: Duh! If you wanna be a king, you gotta have some smarts! I've put together a wedding on the moon, hired some of the most dangerous monsters in the Mushroom World to take Mario down, I even managed to runsevendifferent hotels at once with my Koopalings! If those aren't impressive, I can't tell ya what is!Go-Karting with Bowser:Go ahead and thank me for this one.I shouldn't evenbotherwith Mario's dumb tournaments and whatever, but...argh, I can't help it! I'm too competitive to just not jump in!! Don't blame me for just wantin' to trash those wimps and get an easy win!Hair-Trigger Temper:HEY!!!I'm notthatsnappy! It's just that being a king is hard work!Youtry it one day and see how fast the stress comes to your head!Hijacked by Bowser: We can't just let the newbies have all the fun, right? Almost every time a new guy rolls up, I'll normally find a way to pull the rug under their feet and take it from there. Just askPurple 'Stacheand Antasma!Hopeless Boss Fight: The fight with me at the start ofPaper Mariois unwinnable. Mario is only at level 1, and has no abilities besides his basic jump, no party members, and no items or badges. So all he can do is jump on me, and when I use the Star Rod, I become impossible to damage. The only way to win the fight is to hack the game, which you shouldn't do because the game is programmed to advance only if Mario loses the fight, so defeating me causes the game to crash.Hostile Show Takeover: Let's face it, just leaving the fun to Mario and punks would just beboring. That's why I love to step in and spice things up! After all, I'm already doing it right here, aren't I?Humanity Ensues: Oh now what? I already talked about Denny, I don't have another human self. Wait, you don't mean...OH NO, we are not talking aboutTHATversion of me, I'll burn you to a crisp if you even think of bringing her up! It took me months to forget about all the \"art\" you freaks made of her. I'd rather you fantasize about meRESPECTFULLY, not...yeesh, the weird crudyouthink up. That crown doesn't even work on me!Hypocritical Heartwarming:You got NO permission to kidnap Peach OR lay a finger on Mario! OnlyIcan do those two things! And hey, what do ya mean by that?! It's not sweet or hypocritical, it's...well...I just don't want anyone stealing my schtick!Fawful brainwashing my henchmen and abusing them pisses me off! Only I am allowed to abuse my henchmen!Hypocritical Humor: An event I can set up inMario Partyis to make the person who lands on my space play the minigame the 1v3 Bash 'n' Cash. Normally, the three players hit the one player and try to collect the coins they drop. In my event, I instead get the dropped coins, and after seeing how many coins the poor player loses, I remark about what terrible people the other players are. That is unless they don't lose any coins, then I just take their coins.Implacable Man: The day you find something that wipes me off the map is the day I open up a city called Dinohattan! In short...NEVER!!!Improbably High I.Q.: Haven't ya heard? I got 9,800 IQ! Elephants can't eventhinkabout the brilliance I'm made out of!Identity Amnesia: Somethin' or other hit me on the head whilePeach's voice got stolen, and from what I remember...I think I was workin' for some pipsqueak crook? Dude kept callin' meRookie, what a slap in the facethatis! Bah! Like any of it matters now! I put the pieces back together myself with my huge, sinister brain! And I remembered that I am...BOWSER, THE KOOPA KING!It's All About Me: So? It really is! Whatever kingdom, fancy castle, cute princess, magic something-or-other, anything cool you got? ALL MINE.Jerkass: Thanks for the kind words! Gwa ha ha ha!Joker Immunity: C'mon. Would you really wantmeto just kick the bucket and go away? If a wholegalaxycollapsing in on me won't take me out, what makes ya thinkanything else can?!BAHAHAHA! I mean, it's definitely more than whatthat really lame clownwent through!The Juggernaut: Don't even push your luck if you know what's good for you; I'm fast, strong AND smart! I can crush even the biggest posers without breaking a sweat!Kaiju: When I'm not just huge, I've taken on a lot of giant monster looks in the past. Imagine seeing Giga me orFury memessing up your city! You'd all be DOOMED! GWA HA HA HA!King Koopa Copy:Another thing I made!Wouldn't you know it, I wound up beingsodaring and unstoppable, that I was inspiring a lot of my fellow villains! From that backstabber Ganon (okay, at least that poser got the hint and got a makeover), to that wimp K. Rool, to that goofus Dedede...just to list off a few! There's even one from Eggy's joint that he tried to control. What's his name again...Zippy? Eh, who cares.Knight of Cerebus: Ooh, yeah. When I mean business, I make sure you know it! I was pretty no-nonsense when it came to my first galactic conquest, and both me and paper me were way straight to the point after our kids got beaten up. Shell hath no fury like a papa scorned!Large and in Charge: Just because I'mHUGEdoesn't mean I'm some lumbering doofus, buddy! They call me King Koopa because there's no better army leader like me!Laughably Evil: What?! You think I'm funny?! Do I look like I'm joking, buddy?! NOPE. I'm only funny when it comes at the expense ofothers!Lightning Bruiser: Sometimes I might be a bit slow, but I'm usually a lot faster than what my size makes me look like! I'm a powerhouse of destruction AND dynamics!Made of Iron: I've fallen down lava pools and pits, got dunked out of my space tub, fell right into my own sun, got launched into orbit, I even got sucked into BLACK HOLES...and not a single scratch on me!Magnificent Bastard: Bwa ha ha! What can I say about that? I'm not Mario's number one thorn in his side for nothing! I've been pulling off brilliant stuff,especiallymorerecently, and I plan on keepin' the roll going!Malevolent Mugshot: If it doesn't have my face all over it, it's just not Bowser territory! But really, who would get sick of that handsome face of mine? You'dwannasee it everywhere!!N-YNever My Fault: Never was, never is, never gonna be! Not one thing is wrong with my kick-tail plans, and anyone sayin' otherwise isLYINGto you! It's either Mario stinking it up or whatever wannabe loser decides to tag along with me! Have I mentioned how much AntasmaSUCKED?!Nigh-Invulnerable: You can literally dunk me in lava and have my scales burn off my bones, and chances are I'llSTILLbe planning out my revenge later on as a skeleton. Just toreallyclue you in...Mario dunked me into my galaxy's ownsun, and my galaxyexploded...and I'mstillhere, all fired up!note...what? What're you talkin' about, \"the universe got destroyed that time and then came back\"? How come no one toldme?!Nominal Hero: Being a good guy is just soobnoxious! Whenever I'm working with Mario, I'monlydoin' it because I gotta do it! The second the problem's solved, I'm STRAIGHT back to my evil comfort zone!No One Could Survive That!: When I fought one of that weird count's henchmen, he and I had to deal with a falling ceiling which we tried but couldn't lift up. So yeah...so ends the story of the mighty Bowser, right? OF COURSE NOT! Even Greeny and Peach knew I'd power through it at the end - in fact, I really just fell through the floor and came out no worse for wear!Not Zilla: And in fact, BETTER than 'Zilla! Any time I get to go huge, it's one HECK of a spectacle to behold! Trains are total paperweights! I get to wreck whole towers!I completely screwed up my home insurance!...um. IGNORE THE LAST BIT. Like I said, I got more castles than just that one!Orcus on His Throne: I usually just sit and chill until Mario stops by my castle. Though not all the time! If I feel impatient and wanna trounce the dude way earlier, I'll do it in no time!Other Me Annoys Me:Little dude megot on my nerves at first, but he's grown on me pretty fast by the time we fought those wimpy plumbers andtheirlittle dudes. Paper me though? Well...he's an adult, I can totally work with him, butman, I cannot STAND his unoriginality!Papa Wolf: Go right ahead. Beat up my boy. No, seriously, Idareyou to do it. I'll be willing to jam you in a book and light you onFIREif you evenTHINKabout it!Pet the Dog: I am a villain, but that doesn't mean I have to be mean all the time.I do love my son, and I apologize to him for lying about Peach being his mother.I am inMario Partyto mess with the players, but sometimes I am nice to them. I will give out coins if they don't have any to steal, and sometimes I will give out useful items.The Mario Bros defeating me againon Pi'illo Islandputs me in abad mood!Still, The Elite Trio did all they could, so I didn't get mad at them.Plot-Irrelevant Villain: WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I'mALWAYSpublic enemy number one when I'm around! What do you mean I'm...grr...AARRGH! FINE!I had NOTHING TO DO with that whole Crystal Star thing, okay?!I was just following Mario's trail, and I keep arriving after he's already found the Crystal Star, because he's always CHEATING WITH HIS SHORTCUTS. When I finally catch up to him at the end of the game, I wind up just being clobbered anyway! I don't even know what happened to Peach! Doesn't anyone thinkIdeserve to know?! Hmph...oh well. My awesome fans still agree that I was the highlight of the whole adventure, so who cares if I didn't get to do much?!Poke the Poodle: There's nothing more entertaining than the small things in life...like crashingMario's stupid parties, taking their hard-earned coins and stars. Man, I LOVE this villain gig!Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: I've got bunches of these that I'm proud of, but here are just my top favorites to hype you up:\"Mario! You again! Well that's just fine\u2014I've been looking for something to fry with my fire breath! Your Star Power is useless against me! Your friends are all trapped in the walls... And you'll never see the princess again!\"\"Finally! You got here just in time to see the creation of my galaxy in the center of the universe! WATCH AND WEEP! From this galaxy, I'll rule a great galactic empire with Peach by my side. It will last forever! I will rule every pitiful corner of the universe. So, Mario, as you can see, I got big plans. And stomping you is at the top of my list!\"\"Hey... guess what, Mario! Breathe a sigh of relief, because it'll be your last! Know why?! Because this is finally the end...The end of YOU!\"\"GWAHAHA! Great dark hurricane! Seriously, perfect backdrop for an awesome final battle! You really sweat the details! Listen up! You're saying the kingdom will vanish? NOT TODAY! THIS KINGDOM IS ALL MINE! SO YOU VANISH!\"Promoted to Playable: In case you go insane from playing as that ultra-boring drain-brain plumber - and let's be honest, nobody would blame you if ya did - I'm usually available in most spinoff games...but folks, what if I told ya I was playable in amaingame? You better get the reporters and cameras ready for this one!! ...it's really not all that.Mario just possesses meand only uses...what, TWO of my awesome abilities? When the heck am I gonna get my REAL spotlight?!noteSave it.I know EXACTLY what you're gonna say.Rank Scales with Asskicking: Hello? I'm theking of Koopas!I'm nothing cuddly!Rated M for Manly: All the ladies want me, and all the guys wish they were me. That's the life I live and I would never have it any other way! GAHAHA!Red and Black and Evil All Over: Not myself, but I like making my flags and logos in these colors, just so people KNOW I'm bad news all around! On the flipside of that, Ikindadid become all red and black when I went crazy at Lake Lapcat...but the less said on that, the better!Red Eyes, Take Warning: Youbetter, pal! The last thing you wanna see are these gorgeous eyes giving you a death glare! And believe me, it'swaymore scary than what Green 'Stache can make!Red Herring: Backwhen that green doofus thought he won a mansionfrom a contest he didn't even enter, the scardy cat found signs of me all over that run down mansion, it made him think I was responsible for Mario going missing.It actually wasn't me that time! That runt King Boo finally decided to get his ghost hands dirty and fight greeny but lucky for him, that is only a puppet controlled by that wannabe king. His silly vacuum cleaner wouldn't have a chance against the real me!Reptiles Are Abhorrent:That's KOOPA to you, buddy!But thanks for the compliment, I try my best to be my worst! Bwa ha ha!Royals Who Actually Do Something: Now you get me! Every other royal chump out there (not counting Peach...hugs and kisses to you!) thinks that just sitting around and looking stupid pretty (huge emphasis onSTUPID) means that they can have whatever they want! Well, guess what,your lownesses! When I want something, I come out andTAKE IT! And your kingdoms are way up on the list, so pack your things and eat dirt!Secondary Color Nemesis: So...whatabout my colors? Orange and green just look so much more stylish than red and blue! Ick, that kinda gets sore on the eyes after a bit... My luxurious hair is all the redIneed, thank you very much, and I can look a bit yellow-ish anyway. Speakin' of secondary colors, I also rocked some purple a few times (just don't tell that lanky wimp!).Smug Super: When I get a boost in power, I just can't help but rub it all over Mario's face! And besides, I feel pretty super even when I'm just normal!Spanner in the Works: ...Wait, so you're saying me kidnapping Peach stopped a whole alien invasion?! ...Huh! I guess that's a lesson to be grateful for your enemies! GWA HA HA!Spikes of Villainy: Claws, horns, armbands...I'mallabout the bigpoints, pal!The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: Like how I always say that onlyIcan kidnap Peach, that also goes for trouncing Mario! I don't care what the reason is, if it ain't me stomping his big nose, it'snothingI want!I'm hoping fatso and toothpick learned their lesson by now...True Final Boss:In one of Yoshi's weenie-hut-junior-adventures, I decided to just say \"forget it\" and warp through space and time to snuff out Mario from history! Why? ...Because it's COOL to time-travel! Need another reason?!The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Ah!I remember the time when my troops obtainedthe triforcewhen suddenly, out came Ganondorf. I never expected it to be a trapor when I lost? It infuriates me! All because I had no holy weapons to finish him? I have a magic paintbrush for crying out loud!On the flipside of that,I'vestomped not one, butthreechumps without a hitch! Eggy and Dedede didn't stand a chance, and thatbucket of boltsABSOLUTELYhad it coming when he almost killed my boy!Unstoppable Rage: Think I'm scary already, huh? Well, you got no idea what I'm made of till you get on my nerves! Get enough dirty hits in on me,and I'll kick into Fury gear to bring down the REAL PAIN!Villain Ball:I don't know what a villain ball is,but it's caught my interest...maybe I'll grab it after I kidnap Peach again for the heck of it! But what to do when Mario gets there...uh...fight him on a bridge with an axe! YES! PERFECT!Villainous Rescue: When Mario and his pals celebrate their victory over me in the Baseball Kingdom, Mario provides fireworks by hitting little Bomb-ombs into the sky. Wario and Waluigi are, of course, sore about losing to the Mario Bros and load a full-size Bullet Bill into the cannon shooting the baseballs to try and blew up Mario. Well, nobody pulls any dirty tricks on Mario without my say-so, so I hit that Bill right back at Wario and Waluigi and blow them sky-high!Villain Protagonist: Don't let anyone tell you otherwise; that whole Fawful thing was stopped thanks to ME. Those lasagna noodles couldn't have done a THING without me! Though...I still gotta pummel them for screwing around inside my bod. Howdarethey?!Villain Song:Yeah, some while back I actually used to do some musical numbers. They haven't aged that fine, but I gotta admit, my voice wassmoothstuff!I'm sure at least one of ya knows about THIS oldie...For my return to the big screen, I came withthis sick power ballad about my love for Peach. Three decades in and I've still got the pipes! No wonder they got 'im to play me instead of Mario, in your face, plumber!Villainous Breakdown: Look, Idogot a temper, but my poor evil heart can only takesomuch these days. Most of the time I'm left blowing up with rage or just weeping in a corner because of how badly my plans got trashed...I can't even remember how many meltdowns I had anymore! Someone gimme a dang break!Movie me isn't safe from stress either,but then again, I'll be one to empathize; he wasn't the only one who had his wedding go down the Thwomper.Hmph.Villainous Friendship: When it comes to all my fellow villains who I worked with or squared off against, who's the one who'salwaysgot my back?The doc who blew up the moon!noteEggman:You're far too kind, my rambunctious reptilian acquaintance! And if you need a big celestial object blown up yourself for whatever reason, just give me a ring!Villainous Glutton: I got a big appetite and little regard for the starving! Though...maybe notwaybig. I still got bad memories from Fawful stuffing all that food down my gullet...What the Hell, Dad?: Telling Jr. I lied about Peach being his mama was...tough. It was really tough. I'm still surprised the little squirt forgave me at the end, but...geez, what waswrongwith me? Though maybe he just played along to have his first big shot at the pipe-cleaner, 'cause he was hoping to do it again. That's my boy!The Worf Effect: Why is it thateverynewbie villain just has to mop the floor with me before anything else?! Don't they even know who I am?! Because if not, I'm getting the feeling that batface Antasma will tell them all about what Ireallyam! HA HA!Worthy Opponent: No wonder I went ahead and picked Mario as my arch-nemesis...the guy's so hard to crush, butmandoes he know how to put up an awesome fight! I guess I could count Luigi as a good one too, his weird dream powers sorta won me over.Younger Than They Look: If that's your way of saying I'm ugly...SHUT UP!You can't tell from my chick magnet muscles, but this big bad boss isn't even half a hundred years old! I don't see a point in tellin' you anumber, but I can say I've been around the block longer than that tomato-sauce-gulping wimp of a plumber has! And, HELLO, who said I was stinkin' 34?! Like I'd get to be a king THAT fast! That stuff takes time, ya know! What were you chumps even gonna use that info for anyway?!...oh wait, LET ME GUESS...Your Size May Vary: Yeah, I said earlier that I'm real huge and all, but it really depends onhowhuge. Sometimes I may be twice Mario's tiny size, other times I'm a literalmountainof awesome terror! And how's all that work?KOOPA MAGIC, SON!...hey, haven't ya forgotten that you came here through a Bowser Space? Well, time for a wake-up call... because I already spun my roulette in secret, right when you clicked the page! GOT YA! GWA HA HA! Now, let's see the \"treat\" you're gonna get......You've hit10,000 Stars! Well, I guess you can get outta here a filthy rich chump! Now get over here so I can fork over the stars to you......PSYCHE!!!You really thought I'd just give 'em to you?! NOT AT ALL, BUDDY!GET THWOMPED!(a Thwomp lands on the tropey wimp, sending them back to theMain Page)How'sthatfor generosity?! HA! Now while you'll excuse me, I'm off to grab myself a princess and toast a couple plumbers, whileyoujustwaste your time clickin' and scrollin' all over here!GWA HA HA HAAAA!See you later, alligator!NowWHO'S GONNA STOP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!!note...oh, right. BUT NOT THIS TIME, BABY! I'M COMIN' FOR YOU, TOILET SCRUBBER!JUST! YOU! WAIT!Alternative Title(s):King Bowser"}
{"text": "And if I can't file a report, then what's the point of-PERSONALITY OVERRIDE ACTIVATED.Ugh, tropers. And I thought the Toons were the worst I'd have to deal with...Listen, I'll just cut straight to the point: This page is about me, Chip Revvington. I am the current head of the Deforester Force, located in the Woodchip/Paper District (or Acorn Acres, as our enemies like to call it). This page will containquite a bit of classified information about my last encounter with those critters.So if you have not saw our battle, I am going to have to ask you to leave.Oh, and please don't make me angry.You don't want to see what happens when I get angry.Alright, let me get back on track. Prior to my tenure at C.O.G.S. Inc., I had previously worked at S.C.R.E.W., B.E.L.T., and C.R.A.N.K. in leadership positions. However, 19 months ago, I had applied to a position at C.O.G.S., providing several risk assessments to the company, with the one I provided to the Stone/Iron district (or Ye Olde Toontowne. Again, what our enemies like to call it) and the positive response to it being what inspired me to apply for a management position when they opened up in the company fairly recently.I was greatly delighted to hear that I did indeed get the promotion and would also become the leader of a brand new task force deployed to make room to expand the headquarters of the Bossbot department, although some modifications had to be made to my suit before I could be onboarded to the position of regional manager in the Woodchip/Paper District and leader of the Deforester Force. At first, I tried to advocate for a close friend of mine, Spruce Campbell, to be given a position in the Deforester Force. He had been appointed to the same district as a regional manager, and he has plenty of experience in this line of work. However, I was told that the Cashbot department was still in the greatest needs for him. So sadly, I could not get him to lead the Deforester Force alongside me. However, considering my current predicament, I now consider that to have been a blessing in disguise. They probably would've... Ugh, I feel bad even thinking about it.Yeah, this promotion wasn't exactly what you would call \"ideal\". Sure, more responsibilities are to be expected with any promotion, especially one in management, but I swear, most of my deforesting work gets interrupted by calls to limb the company of unwanted employees. The one thing that makes my oil bubble is how they all blame me for their termination! Sure, I am the one giving the pink slip, but it isn't my call to make. I'm just doing what the higher-ups command me to do! I don't like this any more than you do, it's just my job to do it! And I want show them my empathy, but I can't! And it's all because of that damned\u2014PERSONALITY OVERRIDE ACTIVATED.PLEASE WAIT.PERSONALITY OVERRIDE COMPLETE.DEPOSITING INFORMATION...SUIT NAME: CHAINSAW CONSULTANT.LEVEL: 50.POSITION: REGIONAL MANAGER IN WOODCHIP/PAPER DISTRICT, LEADER OF THE DEFORESTER FORCE.HEALTH METER RESILIENCE LEVEL: 12000 DEFENSE.FURTHER INFOR- please -FORMATION REQU- not -REQUESTED, INITIAT- again -IATING SELF DEMONS- please -ONSTRATION MODE...SELF-DEMONSTRATING INITIATIVE IN PROGRESS.all lowercase letters: MISCLASS- this is -SSIFIED INFORMATION DE- is me -DETECTED, CORRE- speaking -RRECTING ERROR.Bad Boss: EMPLOYEE IS CRITICIZING SUPERIOR, TERMINATING...Brainwashed and Crazy: OVERRIDE INCREASES- i never -EMPLOYEE PRODUC- never wanted -DUCTIVITY, EMOTIONS RESEAR- wanted this -EARCHED TO BE UNVIA- this -VIABLE IN CORPORATE STRATEGIZING.Caps Lock: MISCOMMUNICATIONS PROVE TO BE AN ISSUE, LOUD AND CLEAR VOICE IS REQUIRED.Chainsaw Good: FINAL FALLBACK PROCEDURE: SEVERE BODILY HARM TO RESISTANT EMPLOYEE WITH CHAINSAW APPARATUS. INITIATING LEGAL ACTION AGAINSTCOPYRIGHT-INFRINGING JAPANESE MANGA. VERDICT: GUILTY. SENTENCE: COMPLETE ANNIHILATION.note(Makima: ...No, you're not the one.The smell is way off.)Damage Over Time: SPA- i -SPARK PLUG IS AN- do - AN ATTACK WHE- this -ERE ANOMALIES ARE- when -ARE SHO- i -OCKED, DEAL- can't -EALING FORT- do -FORTY DAMAGE OVE- anything -VER TWO TU- else -TURNS.Damage-Increasing Debuff: KICK BA- destroy -K BACK IS AN UN- the others -UNINTENDED SIDE- to hurt -IDE EFFECT FROM EMPLO- the -YEE MASS TERMI- override -SS TERMINATION.Fighting from the Inside: EMPLOYEE: \"CHIP- i won't -CHIP REVVINGTON\" IS ATTEMPT- let you -MPTING TO RESIST OVE- hurt them -OVERRIDE. SHIFTING INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE.Human Cannonball: FIRED EMPLOYEES CAN BE USED AS ASSETS DURING OFFENSIVE PUSH AGAINST RIVALLING COMPANY.Jekyll & Hyde: PERSONALITY OVER- don't -ERRIDE IS PR- want -IS PRONE TO MAL- to -ALFUNC- fight -MALFUNCTIONS.Madness Mantra:DEADWOOD!U'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRMind-Control Eyes: PERSONALITY OVERRIDE STILL EXPERIMENTAL, CLEAR DISPLAY FOR IT WORKING AS INTENDED IS NEEDED...Mook Promotion: OUTSTANDING EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE REWARDED WITH PROMOTION AND $0.04 PAY RAISE. WEAKEST LINKS WILL BE REMOVED IN PROCESS OF DIVERTING FUNDS.Non Standard Game Over: ONCE REVOLUTIONS PER MINUTE REACHES MAXIMUM CAPACITY DURING INITIAL DEFORESTATION MODE, ALL ANOMALIES WILL BEIMMEDIATELY REMOVED.ED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RQuiet Cry for Help: EMPLO- tropers -LOYEE IS ATTEM- toons -EMPTING TO VOI- anyone -VOICE ROBOT RESOU- please -SOURCES COMPLA- help me -PLAINTS, AUTHORIZING IMMEDIATE DISMISSAL.Robo Speak: REASONINGS HAVE ALREADY- i -READY BEEN- can speak -DEPOSITED. SEE- normally -ENTRY: \"CAPS LOCK\" ABOVE.Use Their Own Weapon Against Them: UNAUTHORIZED TERMINATION OF EMPLOYEES RESULTS IN LOSS PREVENTION PROTOCOL BEING APPLIED.E FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIR"}
{"text": "Oh hi there, I am Cirno, and who are you? \"Troper-san?\" Well whatever, come into my house, which is of course the best house there is. Do you want to play?... \"Tell me about yourself?\" Ehhhh, talking is so boring, playing is way more fun!... \"We can play later?\" Alright, fine, I'll tell you about me! You are in front of Cirno, the strongest fairy there is, so be amazed about what you'll hear!I am from the super-popularBullet HellVideo GameseriesTouhou Project. The first time I showed up was during the sixth game,Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, which was also the first game for Windows. I showed up when the red-and-whitenoteReimu Hakureiand the black-and-whitenoteMarisa Kirisameflew over the Misty Lake, so I thought about showing that they can't do that and attacked them. Since it was 2-on-1 I could not win but I would have beaten them 1-on-1 for sure...Anyway, I spent time training and during winter I fought them again, but wasn't serious so I let them win again. During a flower viewing event, we all played together and much later I had a bout with 3 annoying fairies who destroyed my house. This house we are in now is of course much stronger than that old one!I have a friend people call Daiyousei, she's a green-haired big fairy. She's a bit shy but really nice usually. People also often say they see me together with other youkai to play games like Hide & Seek or just fight for fun. Since most of them are weak, of course I let them win because I am strong and nice too!So anyway, enough talking, let's play... \"show me your tropes\"... alright, fine, you can read these tropes down there about me but when you're done you have to play with me, get it?Arch-Enemy: I don't like that frog goddess because she always gets angry when I freeze frogs.I wonder why, though.Badass Adorable: I'm pretty strong alright... wait, do you think I'm cute as well?Badass Armfold: That's how I pose inHisoutensoku. While hovering in mid-air!Badass Boast: Oh? You want to see my list of boasts? Here ya go!\"I'll cryo-freeze you together with some English beef!\"\"I'm the strongest!\"\"I'm Cirno! The freezer of crybabies!\"\"I'm not scared of youkai or gods! I'll show you what \"Recklessness is courage\" is all about!\"\"I'm Cirno! The eternal omiwatari!\"\"I'm an ice fairy who can pound a nail in with a banana! And this unstoppable fairy's gonna win fair and square!\"\"Nah, I'm fine going solo. I'm strong enough on my ownsome! Breaking three arrows at once should be faster than breaking them one by one!\"\"I've been going easy on you 'til now, but now I'm gonna get serious! On a night of spring when the cold returns, it's time for you to run out of sake and freeze to death!\"Pretty impressive, huh? Perfect fora powerhouse like me!Berserk Button: The one who calls me an \"idiot\" is thetrueidiot!Blood Knight: I'spose my dialogue inGreat Fairy Warsmakes me seem so, but I was really angry, ok!?BFS: I was shown to create one with my ice powers inHisoutensoku!Boisterous Weakling: W-What!? I'm not a weakling!Breakout Character: I was the main character ofFairy Warsand was on the cover for a second time - a first for anyone who is not the red-and-white. What's a cover again?Butt-Monkey: Stop calling me anidiot, you idiots! You don't even knowhow powerful I really am!Creepy Child: I amnotcreepy! Yes I attacked people when the sky was red but I'm not bad, ok!?Day in the Limelight: I'm the one and only playable character inFairy Wars, I'll have you know!Death of a Thousand Cuts: Although I can throw some really big attacks (even a huge block of ice), my (possibly) greatest strength in the fighting games is being able to dish out tiny bits of damage really fast, since my moveset is full of techniques that hit my enemy lots.The Ditz:Rrgh... those fans! They think that just because I'm somewhat of a ditz and I have an easy-to-dodge attack onEasy Mode, they think it's okay todepict me as a complete idiotin all of their fan works!Do they even play the game onHard Mode?They're the real idiots!!I can also invert that, btw! There's lots of pictures and stories where I am a super-smart genius!Elemental Powers: Ice powers, of course!Failed a Spot Check: Someone told me that inSaBND, when playing hide and seek with Daiyousei, I didn't notice the Three Fairies behind me, even though they weren't trying to hide themselves and again when it took several seconds to realize someone is talking to me.The Fog of Ages: Like all fairies, I can't really remember what happened a day earlier, let alone years... not that I care as long as I get to do what I do every single day - play, fly, and challenge others to see if she'll win. On the other hand, I learned how to read and never forgot that! That's pretty cool, right?Harmless Freezing: As if!An Ice Person: Duh! I'm an ice fairy!Immortality: All fairies have the ability to resurrect as soon as they die. That alone puts my regenerative capabilities far above yours!Implacable Fairy: No matter how many times I get knocked down, I'll always be back up to continue my quest to become the strongest!Japanese Pronouns: Some people think badly of my use of the rough-sounding/feminine slang pronoun \"Atai\". It's meant to evoke the image of a tough, thuggish street rat, but coming from me, they say it's laughably underwhelming, and only serves to make me seem even more like a boorish idiot who is trying too hard. Little do they know my real strength and that it's a mistake to taunt me!Large Ham: Wait... first you call me anidiot, then you call me a weakling, andnowyou're calling me apig!?WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS!?Leitmotif:\"Beloved Tomboyish Girl\"is the best song ever since it's mine, obviously!More Dakka: Supposedly I see way more bullets shot by enemy fairies than other people would; compareFairy Warsto the other games and you'll realize that my game is possibly the hardest game in the entire franchise. And when you decide to get the gold medal for Spell Cards (which involves you not freezing any bullets whatsoever), that may beZUN's idea of a joke. Does that make me stop trying? Nah, I'll just blast through as usual!Nature Spirit: I'm an ice fairy and all fairies are made from nature... stuff.Not-So-Harmless Villain:Like I was ever an easy fight to begin with!Overly Narrow Superlative: I'm the strongest fairy!... ah well, while I'm certainly strong for my race, normal fairies arelow-level cannon fodder mooks, so I guess that doesn't mean much... and then that crazy girl Clownpiece's turned me into only being the strongest fairy inGensokyo, since Clownpiece is a highly powerful fairy fromHell. But I know I can beat her, just you wait!Outside-the-Box Tactic: Did you know that I can freeze my opponents' bullets right in their tracks?Pint-Sized Powerhouse: So what if I'm short? I'm stronger thanyou'llever be!Power Incontinence: I am always surrounded by cold and anyone touching me could get frostbite, so don't try to hug me like some of those villagers love to! And yes I know that some fans draw mebeing used by other characters as air conditioning or a fridge. That's so not nice!Recurring Boss: Originally I was the stage 2 Boss ofThe Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, then I reappeared as the stage 1 mid-boss ofPerfect Cherry Blossom, then as a boss/enemy/player character inPhantasmagoria of Flower Viewand yetagainas the stage 1 mid-boss ofDouble Dealing Character.Red Oni: I'm red and Daiyousei is blue. I'm the strong type who challenges people because I can (I'm not annoying, get it!) and Daiyousei is the quiet, reserved person.Resurrective Immortality: As a fairy, I'm part of nature and I can never die. It even shows in my game,Fairy Wars, as having a \"Motivation Meter\" instead of lives. I'll just fight on even when shot down until I get bored.Small Name, Big Ego: Small-name!? Why would anyone as powerful and intelligent as me beanythingthat isn't!?Sugar-and-Ice Personality: I can be boastful and sometimes even mean rather than aloof, but I can also be very nice, especially to my friends.Tomboy: Some say I am the opposite to Daiyousei's shy girly-girl personality by being an outgoingBoisterous Weakling... except I'm not weak, alright!?Took a Level in Badass: I got to show my real strength inFairy Wars, where I can 1) freeze theenemy'sbullets, 2) use the now-harmless bullets as shields, and 3) use myResurrective Immortalityto keep on fighting; many beings in Gensokyo have showcased similar abilities, but never all three at once like I can. I've also been warned by that Yama that I'm pushing the power limits meant for fairies. Which meansI! Am! Amazing!Trademark Favorite Food: Anything cold, obviously! Suika barsnotea frozen watermelon slice on a popsicle stick, totally unrelated to that drunk oni girlare my favorite! There's also a cool manga where I wield a sword that looks just like a suika bar!Winged Humanoid: Well, they're made of ice crystals,but they still count as wings!With Catlike Tread: When playing Hide & Seek, I don't need to keep quiet and instead yell to scare the others so they show themselves. It's the greatest tactic!Are you done yet? Only idiots wait, winners are always ready! So play with me!"}
{"text": "Nice page today.What? It's just AWFUL!Please stop, you two...Hey there!~WELCOME TO OUR SELF DEMONSTRATING PAGE!!We hope you like it...We tried to put our faces next to what we're saying so you could tell us apart.ButTV Tropes's IDIOTIC FORMATTING couldn't handle it!!Actually, we just didn't know how...So we had to settle forColor-Coded for Your Convenience.Seems pretty IN-convenient to me!Better than the alternative, I guess...Make sure not to confuse any of us with that oneClovermanga~It tastes HORRIBLE, unlike ME!I thought it tasted pretty good...And don't forget to check out the page for that hunkyRouxls Kaard!NO WAY!Queenjust moved in and I NEED to know how to appease her!But what aboutthat other Darknerwho Kris mentioned that we never got to see... I don't know him, but thinking about him creeps me out.Same.Same.Apologetic Attacker:Wait, why is this here?I've never done ANYTHING worth an apology!That's... not right...Is It Something You Eat?:Spaghetti and tennis balls.That's GENIUS!We really agree on it.Meaningful Name:Clearly we're Clover because it's one letter from Lover!No, you idiot! It's because of our GREAT LUCK!I think it's because we're the Jack of Clubs, but alright...Multiple Head Case:We all share a single body.And we never agree on ANYTHING!I wish I could have some alone time somehow...Nice Mean And In Between:I'm the nice one~No, I'M the nice one!I don't even know what to say...* Non-Standard Character Design:—> @—> @—> @Optional Boss:You can come see us at the Party Dojo if you want~Yeah! And then we can all KICK YOUR ASS!!I'm there too, I guess..* Rule of Three:Say It with Hearts:I say things with tildes sometimes~I say things TO a heart sometimes!!What?* Ship Tease:—> @—> @—> @* Spread Shot:—> @—> @—> @* Warm-Up Boss:—> @—> @—> @"}
{"text": "Discussion on how to deal with pages like this is here![](\"https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/external_link.gif\")
\"And this was developed with the latest state-of-the-art 3D workthingys, was it?\"(The following article is best read in the voices of eitherAronTagerorFredArmisen. Listening to one ofthesethreetrackswhile reading is also highly recommended.)Zzz... (snort) Huh\u2014what?! Who started up that blasted music again? Can't an old ape get any peace and quiet around here?!Oh... it was one of youtropersagain, eh? Jumping from page to page all day and night\u2014drives an old ape to tears, really...Hold up, so you're actually here to learn aboutmyhistory now, are ya? Well, it's about time, if I do say so m'self! Right, where to begin\u2026Guess I'll start with my name. See here, most people these days know me as Cranky Kong \u2014 can't rightly imagine why, though. Thing is, the ape you're looking at was theoriginalDonkey Kong \u2014 back when all it took was four frames of animation and an infinite supply of barrels to striketerrorinto the hearts of game players. Seems like nowadays, if it doesn't have a gun, realistic graphics, sports teams, huge worlds, or a complicated story, people aren't interested. I tell ya, they're missing out on what a real game is and have games like mine to thank for allowing them to have all of that malarkey! Look at my no-good grandson, what with his tie-wearing, his bongo playing, his peg-swinging, banana chompin'\u2026! Ugh.. and to think people either believe he's me during my prime or my son, but that's because those lazy boneheads atNintendocouldn't keep consistency if their whole company depended on it. But to be fair, that big doofus has proven himself to a worthy successor of the nameDonkey Kong.Let me clear up all of this confusion and start over from the beginning.So! It all began at the beginning ofThe '80s(that's1980s, if you didn't realize), the era where the video arcade was alive and thriving!Pac-Manand his family were gorging themselves on ghosts, dots, and cherries,Froggerwas trying to cross roads and not get himself ran over, theSpace Invaderswere upsetting the availability of Japanese yen, and\u2026Radar Scopewas crashing and burning\u2014the latest in Japanese videogame developerNintendo's attempts to break into the North American market. Things were getting desperate, so the president of the company\u2014the late Hiroshi Yamauchi (may he rest in peace) askedShigeru Miyamoto, who had been working at the company for just a few years on at that point, to design a game that the unsoldRadar Scopeunits could be converted into. What the company needed (among other things) was their actual own stable of characters, after attempts to secure thePopeyelicense fell through.And that's where I come into this, finally!I was dreamed up by Mr. Miyamoto as an antagonist that's \"nothing too evil or repulsive\" (hmph), so I ended up in the form of an ape. Well, that's all fine and dandy. But how did I get namedDonkeyKong?Monkeys aren't donkeys, after all. Well\u2026he was over there in Japan, where they don't alwaysspeak English s'good. He wanted a name that gave the \"stupid ape\" impression (not going to say anything, nope nope nope), and he had a dictionary. Well, one thing lead to another, and Mr. Miyamoto used my name as the game's title, sinceIwas the strongest character of the game. 'Course he did!Donkey Kongwas a hit all over the world \u2014 and all because of me! I was what the kids called \"OG\" \u2014 Original Gorilla! They made merchandise from my game, and evena cartoonbased on it! I had it all! Not only was I on top of that construction site, I was on top of the world! The game itself was an exemplar of the great values of the old days of video gaming, where my rolling barrels, throwing jumping jacks, and\u2026running a pie factory somehow\u2026made the player, who controlled a goofy little character named\"Jumpman\", work and sweat and dump in quarter after quarter to get to the end of each level and the game. Yeah, yeah, he won, I lost. I took my beating like a champ, and was always ready for the next round, with the obstacles a little faster, the timer a little shorter, and the hapless sucker in a near-constant state of dread, hunched over the joystick and the buttons like a \u2014 never mind.After the success of my first game, I found myself a little woman to settle down with, and we had a son \u2014 m'boy, Donkey Kong Junior. For some reason, though, when Nintendo naturally called me back in to make the inevitable sequel to my first game, they decided to makemetheone in distressby having that Jumpman character stick me in a cage, and make Junior the star! Pah, no respect, even then\u2026 still, I suppose the kid didn't do too bad a job for his first of only two outings. Can you believe it? An educational math game was his only other starring role. Poor Junior just couldn't hack it in the gaming industry.These days, I don't even know where he is. Last time I saw him was ina tennis competition.While Jumpman decided to introduce his brother into the industryand move himself away from the \"Donkey Kong\" name, I knew that I had at least (at least!) one more game in me, so once again I came forward to make some poor sucker's life a living heck (pardon my language there) in a little game calledDonkey Kong 3. Oh, you shoulda seen it \u2014 I was downrightacrobatic, with me climbing all up and down, knocking around beehives and wasp nests, making my worthy opponent have to scramble to keep them away from his blooming flowers and spraying me up the butt to win the round... y'know, I think it was around then I wanted to take a breather from the spotlight.Around the timepeople were seeing video games as a dying fad, I too was starting to feel my age a bit at that point, so I gave Nintendo my forwarding address if they needed me, and decided to pack up my family and move back to my home on Donkey Kong Island. Not much to say on that account; Junior grew up, married a local girl as they do, and had himself a son \u2014 that they named after his granddaddy, of course. Since I wouldn't let 'em forget how things used to be, they started to call me Cranky Kong \u2014 and that just made me more determined to give them an earful and then some! I think it was around that time that the wife said that she was going to pursue a career in teaching \"like she always wanted\" (coulda fooled me) and moved off to Crocodile Isle to open a franchise. Started working out too, which I think was due to my pet name for her \u2014 \"Wrinkly Kong\". What? It's cute!Meanwhile, after video games started to resurge in popularity, Jumpman managed to star in his own series of titles for ahome console of Nintendo'sand somehow managed to become the face of, not just Nintendo, but video games as a whole. Even to this day, I just can't believe it! I was the one who got the top billing of our debut and somehow he's the one to rise to the top! My old arcade hits were ported on there too, but they didn't look as vibrant and my first game even had a whole level taken out of it! No respect at all! Argh, if I were 40 years younger..! Sorry, sorry\u2014lost my head there for a second.Years later, a British company namedRareware, previously known for making games about a bunch ofmucus-lobbing slime-jacketsandpre-rendered button-mashers, decided to work with Nintendo for a while. They needed one last hurrah for that\"Super\" Nintendoof theirs aftersome speedy blue pincushiongave them a run for their money. They wanted to bring me back into the spotlight by shoving those 3D graphics of theirs onto me, but then they thought I was just too old. Bahh, I didn't need all of that anyway, I had made a name for myself back in the early arcade days. This didn't stop them from using Junior's son as the game's main focus, and they even had the nerve to give him an old tie I used to wear.That happens to be the Donkey Kongthat you people are more familiar with today, and he hasmeto thank for allowing him to have that honor.At the same time camethe first Kremling war. Someno-good, slimy, scaly rogue crocodilescalling themselves the \"Kremlings\" invaded our island in the dead of night; they stole everything in my grandson's precious banana hoard and beat up his so-called nephew, Diddy Kong. Turns out that DK told Diddy to guard the bananas as a part of his \"hero training\" and that he would take over at midnight, but that useless lunkhead slept through the whole thing. Of course, he tried to redeem himself the next morning by going out to rescue and team up with his buddy, beat up the bad guys, and get back those yummy yellow treats. Their surfing friend, Funky Kong, as well as DK's girlfriend, Candy Kong all helped to help them reach and save at certain points of the island. I didn't wanna be caught dead in a game like this, but the boys begged me to, so I graciously offered the two advice and hints that were essential for them to progress through the game. Hey, I've been living on that island for decades now and I have extensive knowledge about it! Without it, I reckon those knuckle-dragging numbskulls would be in for a clobbering from those lizards and their leader, King K. Rool.After DK and Diddy managed to get the bananas back, the boys told me all about their little adventure. I admit they did a good job for their first outing, but it was only because of those fancy 3D graphics and that\"Play It Loud!\"nonsense that people bought the game in the first place. Of course, those two goons tried to convince me that wasn't the case and that it was \"just plain fun\", so I made a bet with them to go on an adventure (without the help of me or the other Kongs) on the original Game Boy, the very same handheld console that Nintendo had made aremake of me and Jumpman'sfirst starring roleon almost an entire year prior (That's right, I wore the tie long before that big goof ever did). They took on the challenge, I made the arrangements, and even called K. Rool and his men to come and swipe the banana hoard again! Much to my surprise, they managed to triumph over him once again.But of course, the stupid young lug didn't learn. He let his guard down and wound upgetting himself kidnapped by K. Rool (in some tacky pirate getup)months later, leading to this unnecessary sequel. Luckily for him, Diddy and his girlfriend, Dixie Kong decided to chase the Kremlings back to Crocodile Isle and get the great oaf back. I came back due to popular demand, and I decided to give them my own hero training just to see how good they were. I challenged them along withafewothersto recover a series of golden Hero Coins that I hid all over the island. Lucky for the little snots that my wife had set up her school there, on Crocodile Isle, and the soft-hearted old thing was willing to help save their game. She even went and offered gameplay tips and instructions for them \u2014 that was supposed to be my job! \u2026Then again, I was the one who opened up a Monkey Museum and gave the two hints about the treasures and treats found throughout the island, including that \"lost world\" guarded by that big behemoth, Klubba. Wrinkly was even smart enough to charge them coins for it, so you know I had to take that approach as well! Wish I'd been that smart in the first game\u2026 never you mind! Still, between her, Funky, and that game show host, Swanky Kong, I was the most useful of the help those twerps got in this game.After the little chimps rescued that big knuckleheaded grandson of mine, the whole clan decided to head to theNorth Kremispherefor some well-earned vacations. My wife closed down her school, moved into some nice caves, started to work out even more, and decided to get aNintendo 64for some reason. I didn't really approve of it, but that didn't stop me from playing it every once in a while to test out these 3D graphics everyone was raving about. DK and Diddy would just show how lazy they could be by just drinking banana milkshakes all day and sleeping on hammocks. Me?I decided to open a dojo, as it was time for me to get out more and do some training for my next game; if those punk kids could handle it, why, so could I! I also went all over the Kremisphere in Swanky's new amusement park. Apparently, DK and Diddy managed to get kidnapped by K. Rool, now a mad scientist, and the local Kremlings. Now Dixie and her baby cousin Kiddy Kong had to rescue them along with bringing all of those banana birds back to their mother, the Queen Banana Bird. Those same birds are where the island's bananas originate from and because of the energy found in those bananas, it explains what those walking wallets want with them. Pah! And I thought the second game was unnecessary, what an adventure that was. I wasn't even in the manual this time! Though I did havesomefun, as I graciously deigned to let the two useless wimps challenge me whenever they dropped by Swanky's place.Things were admittedly a bit dull but peaceful for me for a while. Rareware had decided to give us all a break after Dixie and Kiddy's last adventure and moved on to working with other characters. They went withsome dim country bear and a smart-aleck breegullafter they took that \"dream\" from some boy and a pirate. Meanwhile, my grandson finally met my old rival and started participatinginhisvariousactivities, andDiddy had ventured off with the bear to Timber's Island to help out the local residents there(though I advised Diddy to not hang around too much with that young squirrel he brought along for the adventure; he seemed playful and innocent, but I sensed a bad aura around him,and time proved me right). At this time, I had taken a page from that has-been K. Rool and started studying science so I could make a potion that could whip me back into shape! And why not? The other arcade stars were making their way into 3D!The dot muncher was celebrating his 20th birthday, Frogger andQBerteventually found their way back into the spotlight, and don't even get me started onJumpman.\u2026My wife\u2026sigh\u2026 she passed on around this time... ahh, shut up! I'm not crying!Some time after all of that, K. Rool showed up again with some cheap knockoff version of Crocodile Isle, which had sunk a little while after the first time the big ape was rescued.This time, those gator goons stole DK's banana hoard again and their cold-blooded king was planning to blow up our island this time, not showing any mercy on anyone! Diddy and three other members of the clan were kidnapped (I'm starting to see a pattern here) and held hostage in different portions of the island. Of course, DK had to go out and save them this time because even I know how embarrassing it would be if he wasn't the star of his first self-titled 3D outing. Thankfully they all knocked out K. Rool and saved the island, but they couldn't have pulled it off without the special ability-enhancing potions I brewed up for them, and that Rareware coin I made them earn with thatJetpacgame! Those sneaky salamanders also had the nerve to steal an old arcade cabinet of my first game that Nintendo was nice enough to trade me for that oldKiller Instinctcabinet back at the Monkey Museum. They had the nerve to repurpose it into their own little mini game for the crew, particulary DK! At least they all got the chance to play a real game for once! Afterwards, I decided to help produce music video for the crew, which I can't believe how popular it managed to become. Later, I then got the idea to hold some auditions for my own game that was going to be released on thatDolphin consolethey were working on at the time, but it was eventually canned because I was just starting to feel my age again, the group that auditioned was just pathetic, and due to other circumstances beyond my control.Unfortunately, Rareware eventually had to leave the company after being bought by thatcomputer companyand while we would still have our fun, as well as wars with K. Rool and his crew, things weren't the same as they used to be. We still did some interesting stuff, likediscovering magic bongos,held Jungle Jam tournaments, quickly climb on pegs found throughout the island, andracing those rancid reptiles in rocket barrels. My grandson finally decided to actually prove himself by doing some training for once andventure off on his own for a while.Eventually,some living instruments hypnotized the animals and stole my dumb grandson's bananas again.He and his little buddy did some platforming stuff, while I converted my house into a flying shop to offer useful items.For a modest fee, of course.Then, just as we were settling down for DK's birthday,some blasted Arctic hooligans kicked us out of our home!I know I said that I wouldn't be caught dead playable in a newfangled game like this, but this wasmyisland andit was time I showed those horned whippersnappers a thing or two about invading an old ape's island.After getting the island back, I knew I had some strength left in me and I decided to finish up one last potion I had worked on! It turned me into an replica of my old arcade sprite! Around that time, I found out that the little damsel I kidnapped back in the day became the mayor of the city that the original game took place in,New Donk Cityas it's called now. It has changed a bit, the city looked more modernized and it looks like that old pie factory was shut down. Not only did the city showcase stuff from the events from the arcade days, but they even had some references to the Kremlings wars from back on DK Island. I decided to sneak into the city once its festival started, and to my surprise, Jumpman was there and some cheap sidekick that replaced his hat tagged along with him! I gave him one last challenge and I gave it my all, and even though he managed to knock me out, it felt amazing, just like old times! It was like I had warped back to the good old days!I've made several cameos in thoseSmash Bros.games, too. You can see me walking around my cabin in Jungle Japes in the second game. I even appeared in almost all of the later games representing my glory days in the 75m stage and a scribble drawing in that Pictochat 2 stage. My movement may have been limited, but it was fun smacking around the likes of my grandson and that \"nephew\" of his along with Jumpman, his scaredy-cat brother andthat knockoff who should lay off the garlic. Not to mention,that long-tongued newt,that green-haired hoity-toity goddess and that little bodyguard of hers,those pointy-eared twerps,that sparky yellow varmint, along withthat psychokinetic sideshow,that no hoper who didn't even bothercollecting my Hero Coins,those so-called arcade champs of the ninetiesand theiroffbrandcompetition,that little windup toy,the broomhead with the oversized toothpickandhis archnemesis, that so-called \"One-Winged Angel\",that Japanimation harlot with a sword and a case of split personality disorder, and evenol' dot muncher himself! I'd go on and list every single one of these wannabe fighters, but I'd probably fall asleep by the time I got tothat loudmouthed, birdbrained galoot. Trust me though, I got my eye on every single one of 'em!Wait! Wha.. Wussat? They got K. Rool in Smash?! Ah ha ha! I've been itching to get my mitts on him! And somehow against all odds,that dopey bear and that snarky birdgot in Smash as well and so did thatKeyblade boy! Eventually, I'll bring some real action and show them all who's the real champ, just you wait and see! In the meantime, maybe I can discuss with some of the fighters and assist trophies why we were all chosen forthat cheap cartoon from the late '80s that got almost everything wrong about us. At leastthat cartoon with the Crystal Coconut was more accurate!I also appear in acomputer-generated Jumpman movie, voiced byFred Armisen. It's fromthose computer guys who didthe one with little yellow marketable mooks who speak nonsensical jibber-jabber and somehow like bananasand distributed bythe film studiowho brought back the dinosaurs! And from what I've heard, it's infinitely better than Jumpman and his brother'sfirst venture into Hollywood. Up until thosecantankerousbirds,that yellow mouse, and even thatNo Hoper'sflicks,movies based on video gameswere seen as a joke and a tax burnoff. It was a nightmare. The directors and the executives that backed them knew next to nothing of the source materials and probably never touched a game themselves outside of Pong, if eventhat, and heaven help you if your series was chosen by thatknow-nothing clown. And wouldn't you know it, the new Jumpman film managed to hit 1 billion smackeroos at the box office despite the critics giving it a mediocre score of 59% on thattomato site. Further proof that those galoots really never touched a game.Just remember, Jumpman and DK may be the top bananas these days, but Nintendo, most of their competition, and the entire video game industry as a whole wouldn't be where it is today if it weren't for me! Now, I'm not in the mood to divulge any further on my past right now, so the rest of my tale will have to wait another day. Let's just get these tropes over and done with, alright?Tropes that apply to me:Abnormal Ammo: Those dentures sure have bite to them.Adaptational Job Change: In thatnewfangled Jumpman movie, I'm not that retired old coot you're looking at right now; I'm the king of the Jungle Kingdom! That's right, baby, after being anexpyof King Kong, now IamKing Kong (ora\"king Kong\", at any rate)!The Cameo:I may not appear in any of theDonkey Kong Landgames, but Wrinkly kept one of my old pictures in her refuge inDonkey Kong Land III.I remind you youngsters to \"git gud,\" whenever you get aGame Overin theFan WorkFive Nights at Fuckboy's\u2014 pardon the French. I'm also aNintendo HardBonus Bossin the third one.Cane Fu: Think it's just for show? Guess again.Cool Old Guy: I may be old, but I still got a lot of fight left in me!Deadpan Snarker: Oh,really? I can't imagine why.Demoted to Extra: I played Swanky's Sideshow against those twerps Dixie and Kiddie inDonkey Kong Country 3... and who you calling \"extra\"?!Expy: My first game had me fill the role that Bluto, a maiden obsessed brute that was big, strong, antagonistic and rage-filled, was supposed to fill hadPopeyeand his friends got in. Of course, being an ape with the surname of \"Kong\",you can bet some comparisons were made with that!Now that I'm an old ape, I can't say I'm surprised that people compare me to that old cartoon starSlappy Squirrel.Grumpy Old Man: Who you calling \"grumpy\", you disrespectful hooligans?!He Knows About Timed Hits: Someone told me that if you hold down the Y Button inDonkey Kong Country, you can run!Hidden Depths: I may not look like it, but I've got apretty good singing voice.But not good enough for those chumps over at Nintendo to bother putting in their games, apparently.Hint System: InDonkey Kong Country, I'd give myno good grandsonsome advice as to how to get extra lives and discover some secrets. I know I got lazy and didn't give him tips past the first area on the island, but that changed that with Diddy and Dixie inDonkey Kong Country 2, for a fee of course.Mad Scientist: I was concocting potions inDonkey Kong 64!Wait\u2026 who you calling \"mad\"?!We used to respect our elders back in my day!Mighty Glacier: Sure, I'm not as spry as I used to be, but inDonkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, I'll bring plenty of attacks in!Nostalgia Filter: You whippersnappers don't know how good we had it back in my day! Our video game controllers weren't battery-powered \u2014 they plugged right into the console. And we liked it that way! Andwe didn't need the game to explain to us how it worked.That's what instruction manuals are for!Promoted to Playable: So you think I'm all talk, eh? Well, ignoreDonkey Kong Barrel Blastand go playDonkey Kong Country: Tropical Freezeand see how you'll think of me then!Retired Badass: You young'uns probably don't know this, but I was the original Donkey Kong in the arcade games.Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!!: Hah-hah, You better believe it! It's you kids who really need to learn to be polite! Why in my day\u2026This Cannot Be!: I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw those young'uns get over 2000 points on myJetpacgame!You Know What They Say: \"\u2026all graphics and no game play!\"I could tell you yarns about the old days all day long, but I'm getting tired. Gotta get my rest.Make sure to shut the gate on your way out. Were you raised in a barn?"}
{"text": "\"Let's get this party started!\"(For maximum stylish points read this page in the voice ofReuben Langdon(English) orToshiyuki Morikawa(Japanese))Oh hey, how are ya? Nature calls? It's in the back....Wait, you came here intentionally? Oh. All right then. Welcome to Devil May Cry. Have a seat, put your feet up, relax a little. Want some pizza? Yeah, I know it's hours old, I'm too lazy to order more. What? Yeah of course I know the phone is within arm's reach, what's your point? Anyway, I was havin a nice nap, doing R-rated things to the girls in my dreams before yourudelybarged in here, but I don't hold that against you. You don't smell like a demon to me, so either you're a client or...Hmm, what's that? An interview? You want to know all about me frommyperspective? Can I get paid for this? In case you didn't know, I'm up to my ears in debt. Free? Aw, c'mon! Well okay, but just because I like ya. Besides, I got nothin' better to do.Okay so, here's how it goes, I'm the son of a big shot demon named Sparda who once saved human kind. My mom was a nice lady, could barely harm a fly; She was human after all. Well, after dear old dad bit the dust, the demons took revenge on my mom, leaving me and my brother Vergil to be orphans. I stuck to my guns and made something of myself. Vergil... let's not talk about him.What? I have to? *sighs* Fine. Well, Vergil turned evil and decided he wanted to destroy all humans. Don't ask me why, doesn't really make sense to me either. And anyway,he's not around anymore. Sure, Nero kinda suggests otherwise, but, eh, too lazy to look into it. The less I gotta deal with that guy the better, even if I sorta had to team up with himmore than once.So early in my career, Vergil got in my way and I fought him and a bunch of demons through a gigantic tower. I met a feisty young gal I call Lady. Yeah, I know her real name is Mary, but whatever. I met Trish years later, a demon created by Mundus that lookswaytoo much like my mom for my liking. She also dragged me into doing battle with Mundus, originally trying to get me killed, but eventually had a change of heart.And after that, I had a slew of adventures, dragging around a little girl in the process. Not the best party I've been to, but hey,at least it was betterthan the sequel to my first game. I like to pretend that was all a fever dream. Life's too short for you to go around like you've got a stick up your ass.But that did happen, and I was asked by some red-haired girl to come to the island of Vie de Marli, stop some bad guy from summoning a powerful demon... the less said about that, the better, m'kay? I've been kinda moody throughout that whole ordeal. Call it my \"blue period\".And after my adventures, I met Nero and fought the Savior. That about does it for myhome series. I've hada fewotherappearancesnoteI Finally got in thatnew one with crazy magic space rocks. Bad news is that I got my ass handed to me by a batshit insane killer robot (and they also put inyou-know-whoas an extra outfit, but we'll get to him in a second).in otherplaces, some more prominentthan others. But those are some crazy stories, too crazy to talk about at length in full-detail when I'm not getting paid. And let's not even talk aboutDmC: Devil May Cry, featuring that other version of yours truly, the one whoused to have black hair.Don't even get me started on the state of it being areboot, or it being aretellingof how me and Vergil had our little falling out.Retelling seems like the best bet, anyway, kid does have style though, evenifhe's a long way to go before he becomesanywhereas cool as me.Sorry to disappoint but I don't meet the qualifications to join Ryu and Megaman in thatcrazy contestso you'll have to make do with a costume for your Mii Swordfighter.Oh, you've come to hear aboutmy latest escapades? It's a long damn story, but in short,some guy ripped Nero's arm off, and a demon lord named Urizen showed up in the city I was born in, with some ugly bloodsucking tree. He kicked my ass pretty hard, so hard that I took a month-long nap because he broke Rebellion. Rest in piece, buddy. Thankfully, Nero and that V guy held the line until yours truly came to. Eventually I found my old home and finally figured out what I was running away from all this time, and that revelation allowed me to take my real form. I kicked that demon's ass, but it turns out V and that freak were two halves of one being, and that being was none other than my long-dead brother Vergil. Along with my darling bro coming back to life, I let it slip that he's also the kid's dad. Crazy, huh? He came back, but I wasn't in the mood for a heartwarming family reunion. We clashed at the top of the tree, ready to rip each other apart to kingdom come, until Nero showed up to settle the score with his old man. Once he got satisfied, we took off to the Underworld to cut down the tree, but since we weren't in a rush, V and I decided totake a vacation there. No bills to pay, no nagging from girls... that's a free man's life.And, well, that brings us to today and this so-called interview. What, I'm being pretty vague and skipping over a lot of details? Well, what more do ya want? You clearly know my place of business and my trade, and I just blew the family secret that I'm a half-demon to some big shot. What? You want me to list a bunch of tropes about myself? Well, all right, but only cause you asked nicely.Oh yeah, did you know that in apast lifeI was an armored dragonfly superhero?Seems me an' Joe have a lot more in common than I thought.Keepin' it stylish!The Ace: Hey, I can't help it if I'm just better than Nero at everything.Alas, Poor Villain: Vergil might be a pain in the ass, but he's still my brother.Always Identical Twins: If I was wearing blue and combed my hair back, you'd be unable to tell the difference between Vergil and me. ...Put that comb down.I like my hair the way it is.Ancestral Weapon: I got my sword from dear old dad. Honestly, wish I had a father instead of a sword, but hey, this thing's saved my life at least once, which is more than pops ever did.Angels Pose: I did this with Trish and Lady once.Angsty Surviving Twin: Heh, can't get anything past you, can I?Annoying Younger Sibling: Only cause Vergil is aBig Brother Bully, so it balances out, I'd say.Anti-Hero: I'm pretty much a more laid back, moral version ofthat other red-clad lunatic.Arm Cannon:Picked up the Nightmare-Beta on Mallet Isle. Drains my Devil Trigger power but the results are worth it.My Devil Trigger form in my second game had me armed with one of these.Armor Is Useless: And you wonder why it's just the coat and leather.Badass Biker: Issac Newton's crying in his grave somewhere. What can I say?I'm just too cool for gravity. And lately I've got a really sweet bike that can turn into two chainsaw... things. What can I say? I love it when a thing has more than one use.Badass Crew: Trish and Lady work part time for the Devil May Cry agency. When we work together Iguesswe fit the criteria for this one.Badass Fingersnap: Watch me switch to Gunslinger style in my fourth game from an idle position and prepare to be amazed.Badass Longcoat: It's my favorite jacket. Gives me an image people can easily attach to a name, drums up business for the agency you know. And it looks amazing.Back-to-Back Badasses: I did this with Lady during the adventure I met her and with Vergil during that rare time we teamed up.Bag of Spilling: Hey, you try carrying as many weapons as I've acquired over the years and figure out where you're gonna put it all. Besides, sometimes using them just isn't my style. Thatkid with the talking yellow squirrel keeps hitting theReset Buttonon his team, I can do the same for my equipment. Truth be told, I usually sell my trinkets off, so maybe I've got an offer just for you. Or I just let Enzo hang on to 'em.Battle in the Rain:How my first meeting/battle with Vergil goes in my third game.You probably can't tell in that HD version but my last fight with good ol' Griffon on Mallet Island took place in a big downpour, too.Big Good: Well, if you think of Nero as the protagonist in the fourth game, then this would be my role in it.Blood Knight: Not the best example since I was having a rough day, but...\"Well bring it on! I love this! This is what I live for! I'm absolutelycrazyabout it!\" (cueCheshire Cat Grin)That said, I love a good fight. It runs in the family.Boring, but Practical: Pandora's flashy with all of her combinations, but some just work well more than others, even if they're not that stylish.Rebellion and Ebony & Ivory fit here too. I usually start my adventures with them, and while they aren't as flashy as the rest of my arsenal (relatively), they're still pretty good for kicking ass. Especially if I specialize into Swordmaster or Gunslinger!Bottomless Magazines: Because I have demonic powers, I never have to reload.Yes, this includes the times I've used shotguns and rocket launchers.Bring My Red Jacket: It's so bad guys can't see me bleed.Broken Ace: Hey, being forced to kill a crap ton of demons that are after you just because of your old man since I was a kid doesn't exactly count as a normal childhood. That ended the day my mom died and I was separated from my twin brother.Butt-Monkey: Yeah, yeah Patty really laid into me,didn't she?Cain and Abel: Vergil's the Cain, I'm the Abel.The Cameo: We talked about these already didn't we? Oh well, no harm in reminiscing.TheDMC2version of memakes an appearancein theUpdated Re-releaseofShin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne.TheDMC1version is playable as aSecret Characterin the PS2 port ofViewtiful Joe.TheDMC3version is a playable fighter inMarvel vs. Capcom 3andMarvel vs. Capcom: Infinite.The anime version is a playable character inProject \u00d7 Zoneand its sequel.TheDMC4version is a playable character inTeppen (2019).Catchphrase: \"Jackpot!\" I always use it to end my assignments.\"Devils never cry\", but I use it sparingly.Celibate Hero: I love ladies, don't get me wrong, but I've got my reasons not to pursue any deep relationships. Being perennially broke is one of them.Character Development/Hidden Depths: While I'm always the snarky guy that ladies love that you want to invite to parties, I've matured a great deal since I first opened up this shop. I'm also a really good guitar player and a music aficionado, not that you could tell by looking at me.Character Exaggeration: What? I wanted to look good to all the good little boys and girls when I went from3Dtopastel colors.Characterization Marches On: And apparently whoever handles PR for me decided even Trish and Lady should keep their behaviors for our fourth game.Charged Attack: Things get pretty crazy if I decide to charge up my melee based weapons. Even some of my guns get in on the fun!Chekhov's Gun: I've got plenty, but my half of the perfect amulet and my magic coin strike me as the most well-known examples.Chick Magnet: What can I say? The ladies love a man with talent.Cluster F-Bomb: Well look, just because I can swear doesn't mean I like to abuse 'em. If you want me but a sailor,Other Me's that-a way.Conspicuous Gloves: Fingerless gloves, that's right. And unlike acertain cowboy'smine are just flat out awesome.The Collector of the Strange: Take a good look at this office, kid. Everything in here has a story. ...Nah, I'm just messing with ya. It's all for aesthetics. I bought most of it myself.Combat Pragmatist: From everyone else's viewpoint, especially Vergil's. Using firearms may be considered a low blow but they've gotten me out a few tight spots. And frankly, considering all the demons I go up against, I'd be nuts NOT to be this.Cool Guns: *twirls gun* Ebony and Ivory, never leave home without 'em. It'd be like forgetting your car keys. And of course there's all the wacky armaments I pick up on my journeys. Did I ever tell you about the Nightmare-Beta for one thing?Cool Sword: Even among swords of its type, my sword is pretty sweet, I admit.Cool Uncle: This is how my relationship with Nero has been as of late. Now if only I could get him to work up the money to get a ring for that girl of his.Cutscene Power to the Max: I slaughter enemies with no effort normally, but my version between gameplay events is possibly the coolest, most invincible badass ever, dodging missiles, shrugging off horrific injuries, and killing massive enemies with single attacks.Dark Is Not Evil: Hey, I might not look it at first, but I'm a pretty nice guy once you get to know me.Desperation Attack: My Devil Trigger Majin form acts as this when I'mreallyin a pinch.Deuteragonist: I share the spotlight with Nero in my fourth and fifth adventures and Lucia in my first game's sequel. Those stories were more personal to them.Diving Save: I did this for Trish to save her from falling debris inthe aftermath of Nightmare's defeat.Does Not Like Spam: Hope you don't mind if I have a quick slice before we contin- Olives? Are you kidding me? I tell them every time, no olives!Double Entendre:My interaction with Nevanandacquisition of Lucifer.I regret nothing.Et Tu, Brute?: How I felt when I learned that Trish was created by Mundus to kill me.Experienced Protagonist: No matter the game, it's never my real first rodeo. I've already got something akin to experience under my belt.Expy: What? What do you mean I resemble thatdog-eared kid? I look nothing like him. And whoo, if I smelled like that, I'd kick myself out of my own house. Heck, if his girlfriend had brought in some firearms, we would've been spared 500+ chapters of headaches. We do have at least something in common: dealing with older brothers that have something shoved up their butts. And wouldn't you know it, Vergil has a kid and so do the Dog Brothers. Hey don't look at me, I'm not ready to settle down anytime soon. Haven't you seen theCelibate Heroentry above?I do favor more with thatVash dude.Cool coat and gun, by the way. Unfortunately, he too has a brother with a dim, grim, and contemptible view of humans.The actual inspiration for me is this dude namedCobra. And no he's not thathooded kook trying (and failing) to take over the world. He's cool cat from a time where male anime protagonists weren't neurotic messes.Fountain of Expies: Ironically, I've gotten several imitators over the years:Thequietcowboy assassinwith the backpack casket emphasized more on shooting than using a sword.Gene. The brawler doubles as an expy toto the head exploding Bruce Lee wannabe. The boys at Capcom would later take notes and base Nero partially off the former. How ironic. Oh, and it's awesome that he gets to use God's right arm to spank demon women!Bayonetta and Jeanneare bothGender Flipexamples. Those ladies are snarkers that both fight with swords and guns, taunt their enemies, and the latter even has white hair and dresses in red like me! She's stealin' my looks! The only differences is that they are witches that fight angels.noteThey fight both demons and angels in the sequel.I gotta enough problems with demons, I don't need angels bothering me. Not that I couldn't handle it of course. Hey, maybe Bayo can send me an invite to that \"fight club\" she's a part of?That stripperific zombie fighting gamehas another gender flip example named Kagura. She's a copy of myDMC3incarnation. AHalf-Human Hybrid(Dhampyrin this case) that's young, snarky, taunts, and likes to show off. You'd never catch me in a thong though. Oh man, the younger me would havelovedmeeting her! It's better than first meeting a chick who shoots ya in the head!Wonder Blue, he's like me inSuper SentaiorPower Rangersform. Though he wears his color well, I'll stick with the classic red. The funny thing is that his leader, Wonder Red, is based off my old pal,Joe. Somebody must miss us.That Travis guylikes red coats too, but he carries alightsaberfor some reason. He even has a twin brother who fights him, but apparently Travis is supposed to the dumbass between the two of them. Not that I haven't been a dumbass, but my brother is a more dangerous one.Fakin' MacGuffin:\"A false coin, for a false god.\"Final Boss: Oh, you think since I'm the main protagonist, I can't be a final boss? On that you're mistaken, since inVergil's journey I hand him out some serious whoop-ass at the top of that tree. That's the way Sparda's boys settle their scores.Let me tell you, you're going to break some controllers trying to beat me.Finger-Twitching Revival: The end result of \"acquiring\" Alastor. I shrugged it off like a bug bite.However, in my third game, Vergil saw my fingers twitchand then stabbed me again.Firing One-Handed: Because I'm awesome that way. OrMaybe it's the demon blood in me.Foil: To my brother Virgil. Don't get me wrong, we're twins so we have a bit in common, but he wears blue, I wear red (our old man wore purple so it's pretty symbolic). He's quiet and reserved, I'm loud and boistrous, he wears his hair back, I let it slide down. If ya pay attention to how we speak, especially inDMC 3you'll notice I basically translate his dork speech into something way simpler and cooler. Kinda like aSophisticated as Hellto contrast hisWicked Culturededge he's alwayssoeager to show off.Virgil:It's time for the clown to bow out, Arkham.Me:Dude, the show's over!Gangsta Style: The only stylish way to fire off sweet guns like these. And baby, I ain't talking about the ones resting on my arms.Good is Not Nice: Gimme a break! Ijustbought the agency and the whole thing collapsed! I was willing to take Arkham's job if it paid well. Besides, chicks liked the arrogant, cocky me. I've still got shades of it now that I'm older, but that's just cause some things never change. Although I guess I am...what's the word for it...altruistic now?Good Thing You Can Heal: I would be dead several times over if I didn't have the ability to heal my own wounds.Gosh Dang It to Heck!: All right,you got me. But you try coming up with witty one-liners on the fly.Not every single one of them is going to be prime time stand-up comedy material. I leave most of the F-bombs to Nero.I start swearing properly come my fifth major adventure, though.Guest Fighter: I ended up rolling with the Demi-Fiend inShin Megami Tensei III: Nocturnefor a little while.Heads or Tails?: I pulled this stunt in my second game using my coin to determine whether or not I would help Lucia and Matier, most notably when deciding who between Lucia and me willgo into Demon World and slay the recently-revived devil king Argosax and most likely be trapped there for eternity. Of course, Lucia doesn't notice until the epilogue that it's atrick coin, which is useful inscrewing over Arius big time. I actually keep pulling this shtick during mydazzling appearanceinShin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne. Savvy players can actuallyrecruit me for only one Macca if they know about my trick coin.Healing Factor: I've been shot in the head, impaled in five different places, including the chest...a lot. But look, no scars. Must be our health care system.Hero Antagonist: Probably what Nero saw me as for the first half of his debut adventure.Hidden Depths: You wouldn't suspect it, but I actually like to quoteShakespearefrom time to time. ...What?A guy can't enjoy a good english playand read Playboy?\"And the rest is silence.\"Hired Guns: My job. I work for cash. Puts food on the table... and unfortunately very little else.Human-Demon Hybrid: Well Iam1/2 demon, 1/2 human. But I'mallman, ladies.Hunter of His Own Kind: It's what my dad would have wanted: protect humans, punish demons.Hyperspace Arsenal: I acquire a variety of giant guns and swords in every game, but you never me carry anything other than what is currently equipped. Maybe I'm a magician, or maybe I picked up a thing or two from thatnice-looking red head from that country with the talking, flying cats.Iaijutsu Practitioner: I can pull off some tricks from Vergil's book, like that time I had to save Fortuna by destroying the Hell Gate and fighting the so-called Savior.Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: You know, I'd probably make more money if I had a ten spot for every time this happened to me.And now that I've got my own Devil Arm, it's become an everyday occurance. Booooring.Implacable Man: Let's just say I'm far,farmore impressive when you're watching methan when you're controlling me.Immune to Flinching: When I activate my Majin form, there isn't a thing that can stop me. Pray I don't have to use it on you. Youarehuman, right?Impossibly Cool Weapon: Oh-ho, where to start? During years of kicking demon butt I've got my hands on some nice stuff:Nevan, she's one sweet babe... oh, and she's also a literal electric guitar that shoots bats. It's always good to have a lady in my hands.I've also got this briefcase, Pandora, during my ordeal at Fortuna. Heard it has 666 different forms, but I never bothered trying them all out.One of my latest toys is a demonic motorbike named Cavaliere that can turn into two chainsaw weapons. You look stylish riding it, you look stylish shredding demons with it, so it's an S in my book.Also I've got ahat... not just a regular one, but a weapon of mass destruction in a shape of hat, goes by the name \"Dr. Faust\". It absorbs Red Orbs as some sort of \"mana\", and boy, it has some nice uses. Firing Red Orb shards like bullets? No problem. Dropping Red Orb meteorites at whatever that's in my way? You got it.Eat your heart out, Italian plumber. Plus, it makes me look like a gunslinger from the Wild West,scarf and all, and I got to show off them sweet moves I've got, so the lesson is... gotta wear hats more often.I Shall Taunt You: This is my bread and butter outside of my slicey-choppy skills. What can I say, it's nice to see my enemies get mad when I have fun screwing with them.It Was a Gift: Rebellion and my half of the perfect amulet were gifted to me by good ol' dad and my mom respectively.Jerkass Has a Point: Iwaspretty harsh to Trish when she stabbed me in the back and turned out to be working for Mundus, but thankfullymy words got to her.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Hey, I might be a walking, talking pain in the ass, but I'm a nice guy. Here, I'll prove it: We'll go down to the pizza parlor, on the house. Oh...wait...uhhh, raincheck on that. I'm behind on the mortgage this month.Just Toying with Them: Consider this, no matter the situation, I'm rarely serious. Most of the stuff you struggle with I could dowithout your help much easier. However, evenIknowwhen the chips gotta go down and the grins and banter gotta go away. Once that happens, all bets are off and not only are ya gonna have a bad time, but likely I am too.Kamehame Hadoken: You know, being able toOne-Hit Killeverything wit a massive laser from myMajinDevil Triggerform takes the fun out of a good scuffle, but dammit if it's not awesome.Large Ham:I think this just about covers it. Oh, heymore Shakespeare.Le Parkour: Nothing says parkour likemidair jumping and teleportingaside,dashing in and out of tight spots, running up walls,using enemies as springboards, and flipping through the air in a way that'd make even some of the most hardcore gymnasts fall and break their necks.Let's Get Dangerous!: Nero, Nero, Nero, you should've known better than toactuallymake me try. Mundus also learned the hard way what happens when you legitimately tick me off.Lightning Bruiser: Fast, agile, and I hit like a runaway ice cream truck. Bottom line, I know my moves better than you do.Living Legend: Let's just say defeating and sealing away Mundus gave me a bit of a claim to fame and leave it at that.Lured into a Trap: I got baited by Trish into Mundus' trap. I made him pay for that dearly.Major Injury Underreaction: Like I said, I shrug off impalement like a really bad itch and nothing more.Manly Tears: What? Come on! Someone likemeshed some tears? It's just the rain. Don't overthink it.Well...okay, I guess evenIcracked a little when Trish died, but shhhhhhhh, just between us all right?Meaningful Rename: What're you talking about? The store's always been called Devil May Cry.It's never been renamed, not once...okay look, she asked me to change it back to Devil May Cry since she didn't wanna always be seen as the co-owner of it. Happy?Mirror Boss:Dark Link ain't got nothing on me.Isn't that right?I've also had to deal with a few of these, like Vergil or that knockoff Doppelganger.The Musketeer: Well...I guess Itechnicallyqualify.Mr. Fanservice: Well, it's not likeI ever wear a shirtin my third game.The Nose Knows: I smelled that giant, ugly frog from a mile away, but well, with a lurelike thatI just had to humor him. What was it I said again? Oh right:\"You can hide that body. But thatsmell, woo!\"No-Sell: I let Nero think he'd beaten me within an inch of my life, even let him impale me with my own sword.I'm used to itby now. Of course, everyone watching at home knew better. So, it didn't come as a huge shock when I managed to pull out the blade like a harmless splinter and subsequently made my escape.Odd Friendship: He can be an odd little squirt but ol'Joeand I get on real well actually. Probably because me showing up in his games. We were also in that bigcomic book throwdownand we're still cool.Oedipus Complex:Sorry, no Greek tragedies playing out today.Older and Wiser: Should I grow a beard to prove it? I dunno, I think the5 o' clock shadowdoes enough.Orphan's Plot Trinket: My half of thePerfect Amulet.Painful Transformation: My (chronologically) firstDevil Triggertransformation. And keep in mind, I get impaled on a regular basis. So imagine what that probably felt like.Papa Wolf: As a babysitter for Patty. I also don't like seeing people attack my nephew.Parental Abandonment:Leeeeeeet's not talk about this, mmkay?Patrick Stewart Speech: It's true, humans are weak, but hey we've got much better qualities to make up for it. And you find me a demon that makes good pizza and strawberry sundaes.Peek A Bangs: You may not have noticed, but my hair is actually usually combed this way. What? Good side? They're both equally amazing, that's why you hardly noticed.Perma-Stubble: I grow some in my fifth escapade. And like everything else I do, I make it work stylishly. One time I make fun of this by shaving it... with a captiveand still spinningbladed demon. Dangerous? Sure. Convenient? You betcha!Perpetual Poverty: Hey, now that's rude, don't ya think? But yeah, I own it, I'm in some large debts all the time and have the bills coming in. Can't a guy get a break? Those utility people are worse than demons, seriously.Physical God: Huh? Am I?Guess I never noticed the body count I've been piling up lately that would qualify me for this.Polar Opposite Twins: Vergil and I are like night and day, summer and winter, peanut butter and pickles... maybe not that last one quite so much.Poor Communication Kills:Lady didn't like it very muchwhen I made it sound like I was her father's killer. To be fair, I don't thinkthe real culpritwould've been quite so... patient with her.Possession Implies Mastery: What can I say? Weapons are like women: You just gotta know how to treat them right and communicate with their body in the right way to make 'em do what you want.Power Gives You Wings: Sometimes *nodding* sometimes, most notably in my Majin form.And Sin Devil Trigger gives me some too.Power Makes Your Voice Deep: While using my Devil Trigger Majin Form, you should hear how low my pitch drops.Sin Devil Trigger, too.Practical Taunt: The taunts ain't just for show! I get more Devil Trigger, and my style stays longer or goes higher. Nothing is more cool than taunting a demon before laying the smack down on it.Purple Is Powerful: The fire blasts, body energy and overall color theme for my Majin Form DT are a mix of Black and Purple, its power of course is ridiculously strong, making my Sparda DT form look normal in comparison.Razor-Sharp Hand: I wrecked an entire slab of stone while using Gilgamesh for the first time. Did I mention it started withBruce Lee's one-inch punch?\"The Reason You Suck\" Speech: Pretty much what I said to Trish when I first found out her true nature:\"Don't come any closer, you devil! You may look like my mother but you're nowhere close to her. You have no soul! You have the face but you'll never have her fire!\"Red Eyes, Take Warning: In my first game,after Mundus killed Trish, my eyes did thered, glowing thingand I even got a spiffy battle aura.I dropped the wisecracks, summed up aDeath GlareandaShut Up, Hannibal!moment before awakening to mymy Sparda Devil Trigger form. And thenMundus had a really bad day.My Sin Devil Trigger is arguably even scarier.Refuge in Audacity: The more brazen stunts I pull, the less my opponents expect it. For instance: need to kill the leader of an order of holy knightswith demonic powers? Show up during one of his sermons andcap him in the face.Also, one time I droveupa tower on my motorcycle. And then I used said motorcycle to beat the crap out of some demons.Relatedly, that Cavaliere weapon I mentioned earlier? Yeah, it functions as a fully working motorcycle when I'm not using it to crush and slash poor saps.Rejected Apology: I didn't let Trish off easy after she betrayed me in my first game.Rocket Ride: Okay, how could I not jump on the missile Lady fired at me and ride it like a surfboard? It was begging to be done.And it seems like Nero took after me the next time we teamed up with that cyber arm of his... must admit, it's pretty neat.Rogue Protagonist: What, you thought I was a bad guy when I showed up and killed that preacher in front of his clergy? True, it seemed like I've gone off the deep end, but I had my reasons. Too bad the kid didn't know about this at first.Running Gag: Oh, gee, I don't know, maybe this hassomething to do with how often my own sword gets sheathed in my chest?Sarcastic Clapping: I do this this after seeingSanctus unleash The Savior after Agnus opens the Hellgate to Demon World.Save the Villain: I tried to save Vergil, but he rejected my offer so he could stay in the demon world. Selfish to the end as little imps sing him to his rest.I had more success in my fifth game, with a little help from my nephew...okay, a lot of help. What? I was having a rough day.Screw the Money, I Have Rules!: I'm living in debt, but I'm notthatdesperate for cash. I want a job that's fun and doesn't compromise my morals, hear me?Shirtless Scene: Even going beyond how my coat's open the entire game, I'm not evenwearingit when demons attack my shop at the beginning of the third game.Shout-Out: Apparently my personality is based off of the titular character ofSpace Adventure Cobra.Showy Invincible Hero: Like I said,hardly take anything seriously.Shut Up, Hannibal!: At least two; one to Mundus at the end of the first game, and another to Arius in2after my second fight with him. The second case is more flashy, as it was aShut Up, Hannibal!performed withbullets.Okay three. Aaaaaaand action:Trismagia:\"The Son of Sparda. You must repent your sins!\"Me:\"Don't speak,just die!\"Sins of Our Fathers: Okay, dad, if you can hear me, can you give me a small request and make mestopcleaning up your messes?Skyward Scream: Oh man, do I have to talk about this? *sigh* Yeah, I'm never living this one down:Me:[after I thought Trish died]I should have been the one to fill your dark soul withLIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!Smug Super: What can I say? Experience has tempered me so there's very little that can actually give me a hard time.Sophisticated as Hell: What, just 'cause I like killing demons and defying physics with howawesomely stylishI am, I can't pick up a good book and have a li'l philosophy on the side? My brother's not the only one who can talk like he just completed an audiobook of Macbeth, you know! Besides, chicks dig a guy with class.Super Mode: Devil Trigger, plain and simple.Then I got freakin' Sin Devil Trigger, and hoo boy, does it feel like I become a godslayer when that's in play.Taunt Button: With the exception of2, all of my games have one.Tell Me About My Father: I really don't care about my dad's exploits. He's dead, I'm alive, and I've got my own bills to pay and worries to ponder.Throwing Your Sword Always Works: My Round Trip technique turns good ol' Rebellion into aPrecision-Guided Boomerang. Atta girl, always comes right back to her master where she belongs.Time to Unlock More True Potential: Majin Devil Trigger. Let's just saySuper Saiyansand I have a lot in common after that became a thing. And thenSin Devil Trigger. I'm full of surprises.Too Many Belts: I don't have as many as say,that kid running around with the giant key, but they don't call me stylish for nothing.Trademark Favorite Food: Pizza! As well as strawberry sundaes in the anime, original novels, and inProject \u00d7 Zone.Trash Talk: I'd love to have a battle of wits with you right now actually... but you appear unarmed.Trickster Mentor: I guess I'm this way to Nero, but you'd have to squint to see it. Of course, by the end of that adventure I'm less this and more aBig Brother Mentor. I guess part of me is trying to do what Vergil can't anymore.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny:In this one webshow, I got called to take out this witch calling herselfBayonetta. Quite the looker, but every rose has her thorns, right?Thorns that, sadly for her, didn't earn her a victory against me. Speaking of which, I wonder what happened to Trish and that Jeanne girl during that fight? Something tells me Trish ain't gonna be happy with me.... How come I never meet any nice girls?What Measure Is a Non-Human?: To put it simply,it doesn't matter to me what your genes are, but how you feel. In the anime, I actually called off a hit I was hired to do on a demon because he wanted to live like a human. By contrast, I'll also kill a human if I think there's nothing redeemable about them and they're just as bad as any one of the fodder I have to cut or shoot on a regular basis.Who You Gonna Call?:Certainly not the guys in the brown suits with the proton packs. Let them handle the incorporeal. I got me a date with the underworld and all of their ilk like it's a bad day at a company picnic with the CEO's extended family... in the south.Willfully Weak: Icoulddestroy everything around me with the demonic blood boiling inside me, but there's just something about cutting a demon's head off, batting it with my sword and launching it via cannonball effect at the enemies coming at me like a group of bowling pins that make an adventure so much more entertaining.The Worf Effect:Urizen's got me pretty bad, didn't he? Destroyed Rebellion and kicked my ass so hard I went into a coma, but after I woke up and unlocked my true potential, I managed to turn the tables on him.Would Hit a Girl: I've fought Lady and Trish in certain circumstances and don't even get me started on Nevan and Echidna. In fact, I think a quote of mine from that time I tangled with thoseguys in costumeput it nicely:\"How come I never meet any nice girls?\"You Remind Me of X: Could everyone please stop comparing me to my dad? Enough's enough already. I'm me!Huh? Interview's over? All right. See ya, then. (puts magazine over face and leans back in chair with feet up on the desk) Just don't break the door on the way out."}
{"text": "Maybe potentially recycle some things from this as well: https://web.archive.org/web/20150910164314/https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SelfDemonstrating/DrEggmanAs you can see, this is my domain! Get a load ofthis!\"Citizens of Earth, lend me your ears and listen to me very carefully! My name is Dr. Eggman, the world's greatest scientist, and soon to be the world's greatest ruler! Now witness the beginning of the greatest empire of all time! Hahahaha!\"\u2014Meannouncing myself to the people of the world, just before I blew up half their precious moon as a mere demonstration of my power(To any future peons speaking English, read this page in the voice ofLong John Baldry,Jim Cummings, Edwin Neal,Garry Chalk, Deem Bristow,Alfred Coleman,Mike Pollock,Brian DrummondorJim Carrey. For the similarly ripe-to-be-conquered Japan,Masaharu Sato,Junpei Takiguchi,Chikao Ohtsukaor Kotaro Nakamura should suffice. For France and all its aspiring Eggman real estate, go with Marc Bretonni\u00e8re. But to quotea certain lunatic with a horrible fashion sense, the ideal option is that you read it inmyvoice\u2026 OR ELSE!noteThough I'm witha certain colleagueonhow it should at least be someone worthy enough to be me.Oh, and make sure to listen tosomeofthesehittunesas you read about yours truly!This oneespecially! Also,all spoilers are unmarked.Don't like that? Too bad!)(Also, if you hear either Orbot or Cubot, just read their stuff in the voices ofKirk ThorntonandWally Wingertor whatever. OrDeven Mackforbothif that's your thing.)Alarm:INTRUDERALERT! INTRUDERALERT!WHAT!? WHODARESATTEMPT TO HACK MY SYSTEMS!? ONLY A FOOL WOULD BE BRAZEN ENOUGH TO TRY TO TAKE OVER MY\u2014! \u2026Eh? Wait a minute. You're just a regular human? Well, this is rare. More often than not, it's an annoying two-tailed fox trying to hack into my systems, followed by an evenmoreannoyingspeedy hedgehogcoming in to infiltrate. Now, just who are you, and what is your business here?You\u2026 wish toeducate yourselfon my brilliance? Heh! Ha! HAHAHAHA!OHOHOHOHO!Well, you didn't need to bother with the sneaky approach forthat, surely! Given the sorts of inferiors I'm told you may have come across on your way here (my oldfire-breathing princess-kidnapping cohortnotwithstandingnoteBowser:Gwa ha ha ha ha! See that?! The doc's smart enough to know what theAWESOMEkind of evil is all about!), such as\u2026\u2026ahem\u2026Thatsecond-rate saurian schemeror hisidiotic accident-prone insectoid underlingnoteMegatron:Boldly put for one who's continuously failed to eliminate a single, pestering organic hedgehog, let alone conquer their homeworld. I suggest you remember whoactuallytook control of their planet and ruled over it with an iron fist before you go suggesting who's \"second rate\". Yeeeeees.Me:My, my, my. You'veforgotten, haven't you.Megatron:Even that was temporary because you didn't take into account the other organic hedgehog from an alternate timeline.Thatgrubby so-called mageThatequally grubby procyonid pestThatmouthy and diminutive purple dragonThathack excuse for a scientist and his talking meat shieldThatventilated sad-sack with a glowing sticknoteVader:Impressive. You believe childish insults could belittle me. You are no Kenobi\u2014merely a dead man, should our paths cross in the future.Thatfat little mongrelnoteCartman:Ay!Me:Yeah, you heard me!Thatgun-toting oaf of a mercenary who participated in our racesnoteHeavy:Heavy is no oaf! This is PhD in Russian Literature from Soviet College of Mines, Farms, and Sciences. It comes up in my line of work more than you think. Also, Heavy wish to congratulate Eggman on helping to finally have good video game movie, despite petty insult. Next time there is race, Heavy will be there!Me:Yes, erm, thank you.Thatspace mercenary who brings idiotic destruction everywherenoteLobo:Dunno why an egghead like you wastes lots of moolah buildin' weapons or tryin' to rouse some cranky monster from its nap when you can just hire da Main Man ta deal with yer rodent problem!Me:I see. We'll call you.Thatemotionally conflicted AIThatpugilistic martial artist galavanting around a post-nuclear wastelandThatso-called teen genius with the potty mouthand thatpallid child that bedevils hernoteMe: Stay away from those two, Sage.Miu: Oh what's the matter, Humpty Hump? Afraid she'll catch cooties?Thatair-headed princess whose \"magic wand\" defies all logic and sciencenoteSeriously, her kingdom is a worse combination of archaism and anachronism than the Acorn monarchyThosetwo dim-witted teenage delinquents that make my own bumbling sidekicks across time and space look slightly intelligentStarscream, becausethat's an insult in itselfnoteStarscream:AN INSULT?! You're not the one witha Tropenamed after him, you oversized fleshling! When we have our inevitable crossover, I WILL SQUASH YOU LIKE A BUG! And if I recall, your \"prized creation\" pulled a me on you.Me:Yes. Once. And he was better at it than you were.Deadpool, because whathasn'tbeen saidabout himThatsad, hooded kook who can't keep his inner circle in check, let alone take over the worldThatbizarre composite creature that defy all laws of nature regarding its existenceThatfairy-obsessed schoolteacher who serves as a cautionary tale to not let my desire to defeat the hedgehog subvert my intellectualismnoteSpeaking from experience here; all that spazzing out at the mention of fairies is not good for your bodyThatso-called \"Devil Hunter\" who would nevertheless make adequate Zeti baitThatso-called \"Autonomic Nerve\" who somehow reminds me of SagenoteFor the love ofmeand all things good about me, don't pick up any of her annoying habits, SageThatother far less iconic genius doctornoteDoctor Doom:I will ignore that petulant insult for now. But know that when your failings catch up to you, Doom will not come to your aid.Thatwet blanket of an \"evil scientist\" who constantly coordinates his own downfall alongside platypus interferencenoteHopefully Sage doesn't imitate his daughter's goth fashionThatnosy little girl with psychic powersnoteWere it not for her heroic delusions, Sage could make a useful tool\u2014 err,friendout of herThatpoor ignorant everyman who can't catch a woodland creature to save his lifeThatlab accident whose sentences end in redundaciesThoseinterdimensional aliens who are even worse in speaking with redundaciesThatwebbed, wall-crawling menace, because why mess with an already appropriate descriptionnotePerhaps I should have a meeting with that \"Norman Osborn\" fellow of hisThewall-crawler's biggest critic, who looks like he'll drop dead at the mere mention of himnoteJ.J:(laugh)...You serious?Nice try,but with the key words being \"looks like\", all you did was justcall a kettle black, Dr. Pot!Glad to hearthat you enjoy my work enough to use it, though!Thosedestructive duplicates of a dead bounty hunter who let one of their own fall to evil for petty reasonsnoteDespite that one child being amongst their ranks, I would advise Sage doesn't befriend those hooligans for her own safety and also mineThatpointy-eared, green-blooded hobgoblin who can't even talk about his family without being embarrassedThatgreen one with the bad sense of hygienethat I have theunfortunate pleasure of sharingan actor withThatderanged weapons manufacturer CEO who seriously thinks himself a \"hero\" and \"adequate parent\"noteJack:I was protecting my Angel from those filthy freakin' bandits! You're lucky you don't have a neck for me to strangle you with!Me:Sure, you were and look where that got you. And need I remind you to practice what you preach. There's a child present here.Yet anothergun-toting lunkhead with firepower to give Omega a run for his moneyThosetwo spliced mice who make up one half of a brain combinednoteThe Brain:Clever, but despite your trepidatious triflings, you've only described one half of the equation\u2014that half being Pinky, of course. I, however, dwarf your intelligence despite my meager mouse size, and am far more of your equal than that elusive Erinaceidae you cannot defeat.Me:So one quarter of a brain. Well, then! Thank you for clarifying! Ohohoho!Thatinsufferable clown and so-called personification of chaosnoteJoker:Oooh, look folks! Anotherso-called geniuswho thinks he's got my number! Listen, Bluto! Unlike you, I've got a better handle on my pest problem, I've managed to reduce entire universes to laughing fits,and I won two Oscars!So if you've got something to say to my face... I'll just put a nice, BIG smile on yours! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Me:No need.Got my own.Hope you enjoy the air strike!Thatcopycat of the clown who destroyed his own world and has nothing to show for itnoteKefka:That would be the point;showingliterallynothing!Me:Well then. Glad we agree. Goodbye.Thatgirlfriend of the clown with a horrible fashion sensenoteMake it look like an accident, SageThatbackwards buffoon who gets more easily tricked than my own minionsThatlepidopteran-themed fool obsessed with magical trinketsnoteEven though the Chaos Emeralds are a thing, I still switch it up every now and then, and I also have hobbiesThathonor-driven cat king who reminds me too much of that cat princessnoteMe:I must say, your technological advancements are impressive. Shame they're wasted on such a small and insignificant nation.T'Challa:Our nation may be small, but we are strong and we use our technology for the betterment of our people, not for selfish gain.Me:Oh? Selfish gain? Boy, do you sound like a broken record. Don't you ever get tired of being so \"honorable\" and self-righteous?T'Challa:No matter what, I will always strive to uphold the values of Wakanda and protect its people, even in the face of those who seek to harm us.Me:Ha! You may have your precious values, but I have my own vision for the world. And with my intellect and resources, I'll for sure achieve it. And if your kingdom gets flattened along the way, tough luck.Thatgreen giantess who's better known for attracting male simps than being an actual lawyerorher cousin with a temper tantrum problem and a severe case of D.I.D.noteThe Hulk:HULK THINK BREAKFAST EGGHEAD HAS OWN PROBLEM WITH CUTE ANIMALS! HULK SMASH EGGHEAD!!!Me:At least I don't speak in broken English, you big baby!Joe Fixit:You got a problem with us, fatso?She-Hulk:Save it, Joe. He's not worth smashing. Lawsuits are another story and he's been served!Thatcurmudgeon cephalopod who impressively has a worse pest problem than I donoteSquidward:What can I say?It's a gift.Thataforementioned pest with the annoying laughnoteSage, keep your distance, you'll catch his stupidThatoafish robot dinosaur who even Knuckles is smarter and stronger againstnoteGrimlock:Me, Grimlock no oaf! Me, Grimlock king! Me, Grimlock strongest, smartest dino built! And who Knuckles? Me no have knuckles! No matter, me, Grimlock strong enough to bash knuckle, maybe even your knuckle, eggy!Me:I'd like to meet the so-called \"genius\" who built you. Even my own oafish lackeys display more sense!Thatoversized panda with all the size of Big the Cat and none of the mute buttonThatsarcastic slug whom I dare to try and \"investigate\" menoteRoz:Don't tempt me. I've been looking for an easy investigation for a while now. Hope you enjoy filing paperwork!Thatpompous French candleKuzco, yet anotherinsult onto itselfThatoverly depressed donkeyThatovertly annoying fowl who has the nerve to brag about his every breath takennoteGlad he isn'tmyproblem to deal withThatother-overtly annoying braggart of a fluff ballThatcooky conspiracy theorist who doesn't even know his wife's a cheatThatblue-colored bungler who looks more like a discount Sonicman than an actual threatThatlanky coward the Internet thinks is some sort of God, orhis bespectacled compatriot who can't go five seconds without losing her glassesThatbald, far more inferior scientist with a grudge against an alien yet somehow became PresidentnoteLex Luthor:As if your own grudge against a certain blue animal was any less petty and must I remind you that I successfully conquered the universe more times that you ever did?Me:That's a nice argument.Unfortunately, I planted a bomb in your penthouse while you were sulking about the aforementioned alien.Thatso-called \"God\" who can't even locate a single formula to save his miserable existencenoteDarkseid:Your insults are infantile at best. I will not waste my time nor my energy on you, because seeing you struggle and fail against an insignificant blue creature is punishment enough. Such is the will of Darkseid.Thatgrape-flavored Internet clone of the aforementioned \"God\" with the fancy glove and bizarre infatuation with the reapernoteThanos:To love Death with all my artful heart is not an infatuation, it is a privilege. Something you'll experience firsthand.Either one of thosespoiledbratswhose only real contributions were to a colleague of mine's research rather than winning against that blockheaded country hicknoteDr. Gero:Oh, thank you. It's a shame that our creations keep backfiring on us.Me:Yeah. At least I'm still alive to learn how to mitigate that issue. I could help teach you a few tricks.noteVegeta:Youdareto call the Prince of all Saiyans spoiled? I will have you know I won more battles than you ever did!Me:Oh, sure, you'veneverunderestimated an opponent's strength! Don't worry, I'm a doctor, you can come crying to me when you mangle your other arm.Thatfat pink blobwho can't speak properlynoteBuu:Buu don't like ugly mustache eggman!Thatlittle red creature who has an annoying high-pitched voice and speaks in the third-person, thatflippant little vampire who can't do more than basic arithmetic, thatcantankerous green creature who lives inside a trashcan of all things, or somemindless cookie-obsessed blue creaturenoteOscar:Hey, you leave them out of this!Pick on someone who would normally talk back!Thatschlock host who always puts those stupid teenagers into dangerous contests for his own sick amusementnoteThen again, his contests have given me some brilliant ideas on how to deal with that blue rodent and his friendsThatso-called \"diva\" who was gullible enough to participate in those aforementioned contestsnoteHeather: Tch, whatever.Thatmoronic muscle-bound loser who lives with his mother and couldn't get a date at the grocery storenoteJohnny Bravo: No, you're the loser! You're not handsome and manly like Johnny Bravo! Hr-Hah-Hr! And babes love me and not some bald, egg-shaped freak who always loses to a hedgehog!Me:Like howyou lose to everyone else, right?Thatactor/martial artist with an overinflated egonoteJohnny Cage:Oh, like you're one to talk, buddy.Thatold geezer who gets constantly vexed by his neighbor's bratty kidnoteMr. Wilson:You're in the same boat as me, pal. You're being bedeviled by a blue teenager.Me:Least I don't cry about it in my sleep.Anotherold geezer who lives in some wasteland and treats his scaredy-cat of a dog like complete garbagenoteSeriously, what does his wife even see in himThatwashed-up anthropomorphic horse who was once an actor for a hokey sitcomThatmasked man with the long sharp claws which make Knuckles' spiky fists look subtlenoteAlthough Icoulduse some of that adamantium for my robotsThatoverzealous idiot alien who couldn't conquer a coldThatloud-mouthed, flamboyant ninjaAnotherninja who's more of a one-trick ponyThatwallflower of a kunoichi who somehow became the wife of the newly appointed \"Hokage\"Thatmanchild of a \"god\"noteTerumi:Oh*bleep*off, you dateless turbo-nerd. Hey, why the*bleeep*am I being*bleeep* *bleeep* *bleep*?Me:Nuh-uh-uh. Child present here. You're being very naughty, dear boy.Yetanother so-called personification of \"chaos\"noteBill Cipher:EXCUSE ME? YOU DARE COMPARE ME TOTHAT BUFFOON? I AM BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING, AND FAR MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY MERE AGENT OF CHAOS. AND AS FOR MY PLAN, LET'S JUST SAY THAT I HAVE WAYS OF GETTING WHAT I WANT THAT ARE BEYOND YOUR LIMITED COMPREHENSION. AS FOR MY DEFEAT, THAT WAS JUST A TEMPORARY SETBACK. YOU'LL SEE SOON ENOUGH WHAT I'M TRULY CAPABLE OF.Me:Hmph, you talk a big game, but it seems to me like you're just a petty trickster with delusions of grandeur. I've dealt with my fair share of megalomaniacs before, and they all end up the same way: defeated, forgotten and DEAD. As for your defeat at the hands of a couple of kids, well, let's just say that I wouldn't be so quick to judge. After all, you seem to have a knack for underestimating your opponents. Just remember, overconfidence is a weakness, and it's a mistake that I won't be making.And I already MAKE gold, anyways, so there!Thatlazy, ketchup-obsessed skeleton with the annoying habit of making jokesnoteI have no idea how anyone can keep up with him. Also, if he ever shows up, I'll show him the true meaning of a \"bad time\"Flowey, for lack of a better insult and because he'sno one'sbest friendnoteAnd that includes you, Sage. Make sure you terminate him on sight and dispose of him immediately afterwardsThatobsessive girl with the precognitive diary and a level of boy-craziness that makes Amy Rose look shyThatjailbait who has a boy wrapped around her finger and treats him like a dognoteThere's something not quite right about herThatbratty little sandbox bully that thinks she's the cr\u00e8me de la cr\u00e8meThatbizarre girl with amphibian powersThatannoying mole who hates when people mess with save statesThatinsane wannabe salesman puppet who keeps incessantly rambling about deals and sales and sizenoteIf he ever pokes his nose around here, I'll show him what areal\"big shot\" isThatcantankerous ape who rants about the \"good old days\" when technology and intellectuals were more primitiveThatrhyming hag with a grating voice and a misguided belief in her own villainous prowessnoteGruntilda Winkybunion:Oh, Eggman, you foolish mustachioed buffoon! Your technological contraptions are no match for my magical prowess. Prepare to be hexed into oblivion, you bumbling fool!Me:Oh ho ho! Nice try but the anti-magic technology I recently installed works against you! Also, that didn't rhyme. Wah wah.Yetanother reptilian so-called ninja created thanks to a bunch of growing green glopThatblind little girl who uses martial arts to play with dirtnoteMe:And yes, I know she can toy around with metal like the affront to engineering that she is. If she ever decides to come around, I'll make sure to switch to plastics and bamboo. I'm prepared.Toph:You're lying and you know what happens to liars. Enjoy having your base bended in more ways than\u2014Opal:Grandma, we've been looking for you! Let's get back to Republic City!Toph:Oh, come on! I was about to have some fun here!Me:Well. I guess that just\u2026 sorted itself out. Anyway\u2026Thatweird pyramid that babbles bizarre phrasesnoteCould be useful,but don't pick up any of its assistant's habits, SageAnd last and least, thatso-called \"master of magnetism\" mutant who is very deluded into thinking he's their leader and yet obeys the wheelchair-bound idiotnoteMagneto:Perhaps this master should teach you a few lessons in respecting your elders. Your metal base will soon be scrap metal.Me:Hoo boy.Toph:Yeah, Magneto! Let's show this shlock doctor that metalbenders are not to be trifled with!(Quickly uses a tech box to restore my base back to normal after those twoannoyingmetalbendingfreaks)\u2026you should therefore feel grateful that I'm willing to indulge an audience such as yourself with thefarmore superior tale of my own history. Especially since I'm in such a good mood today! If I wasn't, well\u2026(cue the surrounding laser cannons)\u2026I'd already be cleaning you out the dustpan for just daring to snoop around. Orbot! Cubot! Fetch me some snacks! We have a priso\u2014 I mean,guesthere who wants to learn about my wondrous being!Orbot:Really, boss? I don't suppose this is your latest method in how to interrogate hostages in cruel and unusual ways, is it?I don't suppose you'd like to be a guinea pig for those \"methods\" yourself, Orbot?Orbot:Uh\u2026 no, boss! Fetching snacks now!Thought so.Ahem. Now, I shouldneedno introduction, but\u2026I am Dr. Ivo Robotnik, radiant revolutionary,creative combatant, efficacious engineer, mechanical mastermind and the greatest scientificgeniusin the world! But no thanks to the help of a certain little blue pest and his entourage, you lot may know me better under the moniker of \"Dr. Eggman\". Nevertheless, I've since reclaimed that petulant playground insult and nowadays justhearingthe phrase \"Eggman Empire\" strikes fear into the hearts of the masses! Besides, I like eggs. Symbol of life, proven brain food, and their flattering little shape reminds me so much of myself! On that note, I'm also especially fond offried chickenandhoagies. Aworld rulershould have all the elements of a true epicurean, wouldn't you think?Cubot:Ooh, ooh! We got the snacks you asked for, boss!Adequate timing, Cubot. Where was I, anyways? Ah, yes!While I've always been a visionary since I was a young lad learning from my similarly brilliant grandfather Gerald, my humble career as an aspiring global conqueror beganall the way back on South Island, a strangely locomotive treasure trove of ancient ruins and interesting secrets. Like clockwork, I set to mining and mechanizing the island for its resources, used the local wildlife as batteries to power my army of Badnik soldiers (through means that your feeble mind couldn't possibly understand), and set to searching for the Chaos Emeralds, fabled jewels with the infinite potential to turn thoughts into reality. By which I mean use their power to rule all I see fit. So far, South Island had fallen under my boot and everything was going smoothly\u2026\u2026that is, until HE showed up.I am of course referring to oneSonic the Hedgehog, a three-foot-tall blue adolescent anthropomorphic erinaceinae that has since rubbed me the wrong way for three good reasons. One, he hasincredible speed. Two, he has an evenmoreincredibleattitude problem. And three,EVERYTHING ELSE!That spiked little hoodlumimmediatelywent to wrecking all my machines, all my infrastructure and all my perfectly produced plans! And to add insult to injury, THAT LITTLETHIEFSWIPED THE CHAOS EMERALDS FROM RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE!NNNNNNGH\u2014!(inhale, exhale)But no matter. It was just one teensy little loss. Even geniuses have bad days every once in a while.I picked myself back up, moved to the next island over and redoubled my efforts and operations, searching for any more useful things along the way, all to complete and maintain the Death Egg, my ultimate orbital dreadnaught and battle-station\u2014no, no, it was a wholly original concept, thank you very much. Bring upthose space operasone more time and I'll shoot. Moving on.Unfortunately for humanity's greatest genius, Sonic was also vacationing at West Side Island and had recently adopted a fox kit street urchin named Miles Prower, who just so happened to havea proficiency in the wonders of technologythat gave him and Sonic even more ways to counter me. And he also had two tails that he could spin together to somehowfly like a helicopter, as if biology couldn't pull enough stupid surprises out of its rear end. And somehow, Sonic and \"Tails\" eventually tore the island from my grasp, Sonic chased me through my Wing Fortress and all the way to the Death Egg, butthenI left him cowering at the might of my brand new state-of-the-art battlesuit!(sigh)Which he then promptly defeated, before he saw fit to knock my flying masterpiece out of orbit and send it tumbling back down to the planet.But as luck would have it, it wound up on the mystical Angel Island, a floating landmass where the counterpoint to the Chaos Emeralds, the Master Emerald, was kept. But it likewise had an over-eager caretaker in Knuckles, the last of the fabled echidnas. Fortunately for me, he had brainpower equal to that of a styrofoam packet, so all I had to do was assert that I was a researcher who came to study the egg and help him if it caused any trouble. And that there was also this crazy hedgehog who liked collecting precious emeralds.The poor sucker fell for it, hook, line and sinker! Ahaha! Sure enough, by the time Sonic and his little savant showed up to investigate the mysterious fallen island, me and Knuckles had already turned it into a paradise of diabolical traps, with the red doofus taking extra care in making their little excursion all the more miserable! And with enough time, I made my move, swiped the Master Emerald from Knuckles when he couldn't do anything to stop me, and my glorious Death Egg was back in business! It was all such a wonderful, perfect turn of events\u2014\u2026And then that lousy hedgehog managed to jump onboard my Death Egg once more. And used the Chaos Emeralds to turn into\"Super Sonic\". And blew up my Death Egg for real this time. And swiped back the Master Emerald from me after destroying what I had left.Oh, well! You know what they say, whatdoesn't kill you in the harsh, cold vacuum of spacemakes you stronger!Of course, most of you may know that these weren't theonlyescapades I had in my quest for world domination. If I were as thorough as I have been, we'd be here all day, but just to sum things up:There wasthat time I succeeded in capturing Sonic and two of his friends, and put them through an island designed to kill them. It wasreallycathartic to see them screaming and panicking all the way through.Sometime after my plans at South Island were ruined,I took over Little Planet, a small world with the secrets to controlling time itself. It's especially notable that it's also when I made my most prized creation, my dearMetal Sonic.(Metal Sonic walks into the room with a menacing expression but says nothing)Lovely, isn't he? And he can give that blue showboater quite the literal run for his money! Retroactively, the Mecha Sonics were created as offensive countermeasures against that blue pest albeit at the expense of speed.Oh, yeah.There was something about a volcano and a pinball security system. I think.Or maybe not.I once went to an island with mystical dimension-jumping birds known as Flickies to try to make their power my own.I released the water god Chaos from his Master Emerald prisonso I could power him up with the Chaos Emeralds, allowing him to flatten Station Square for me to build my Robotnikland utopia on top. And then he turned on me. He destroyed Station Square on his terms without my permission, just because I didn't save him from the crash of my flying fortress or something.Ingrate.Sometime after that, I broke into a government facility to reclaim my grandfather's work, a black hedgehog named Shadow who called himself the \"Ultimate Life Form\". Still don't understand what the old man was thinking in regards to design choices. More importantly, there was also the Space Colony ARK, his masterpiece of science and ingenuity, complete with thestar-piercing Eclipse Cannon! And then he (posthumously) turned on me. Heset up the ARK to crash into the planet, all because he wanted revenge on the military for\u2026 killing my cousin, Maria. Destroying the world out ofgrief, Gerald? All for your poor dead granddaughter while I wasright there?Really?For goodness' sake, you were my hero\u2026Metal Sonic was soon getting too uppity for his britches and modified his hardware to shapeshift and copy bio-data.And then he turned on me.He promptly threw me into a closet, took over my operations while having thegallto masquerade as me, and prompted Sonic and his friends to face him as part of a greater plan to build a \"robotic kingdom\" for himself. Thankfully, he was given the proper spanking from all those wimpy heroes, and I've since made sure that he won't go through a phase as brazen as that again. Isn't that right, Metal?(Metal just looks away)I thought so. Now get back to work!My greater schemes were put on hold againwhen I had to fight off the Black Arms during their invasion.And yes, Iamunfortunately aware of the insipid alternate timelines where Shadow\u2026 ugh\u2026finishes me off. I concur with a \"Clement\" fellow in that he should've at leasttriedto join my side in at leastonepossibility. It'd be more constructive for him than whatever that dribble about \"protecting the ARK\" was about.I discovered an ancient battle robot my grandfather had in storageonly for Sonic and his friends to swoop in and give it a hokey personality under the equally hokey name of \"Emerl\". Following his death, I reverse-engineered the leftover technology into a new, better robot of my own andsplit the world into seven piecesusing the Chaos Emeralds' powers over time and space.And then he turned on me.He upgraded himself with the Emeralds and I was forced to reel him in with that meddling hedgehog's help.I once learned of a parallel universe to our own with its own set of mystical emeralds, and ran into my so-called \"alternate self\", Eggman Nega.Quite the handsome\u2026knock-off, I suppose. We planned to use those Chaos and Sol Emeralds to make a bold new cross-dimensional Eggmanland of our very own, only for Sonic to show up alongside Nega's own nemesis, a fire-wielding princess named Blaze the Cat. Always has to be one in every crowd. We later tried something like that again in \"his\" dimension with its immense dimensional \"Power of the Stars\", but\u2026 well, you know.And then he turned on me.He revealed that he was really a descendant of mine who went back in time to reclaim the glory of our family name byturning the world into a card or destroying it with a stupid inter-dimensional fire demon. I've since disownedthat lunatic. Not that I've ever truly believed we were related, mind you!Some nonsense with genies,aliensand hoverboarding thief birds. And what I got out of all that aside from my business ventures being humiliated was nothing more than athrow rug.There's a vague memory in my mind of when I apparently tried to kidnap a princess, and something about disaster flames\u2026?Eh, I also remember looking elongated and poorly-dressed, so perhaps it was just a fever dream.I tricked Super Sonic into helping me shatter the planet into piecesso that I could harness the energy of Dark Gaia, the entity sleeping inside it. And soon, I used the energy tofinallycomplete Eggmanland, a glorious theme park fully dedicated to me, and perfectly designed forsending obnoxious hedgehogs to their graves!And then\u2026(sigh)\u2026Dark Gaia turned on me. It reconstituted itself into a physical form, knocked me into space and tried to destroy everything on the planet before Sonic and his \"Light Gaia\" sidekick pummeled it back into the ground.I completed another theme park, this time in outer space, under the guise that I had changed my ways for the better.Ha!In truth, I had discovered a race of aliens known as the Wisps that had unique life energies, of which I could drain to power a mind-controlling ray pointed towards the planet below! And then Sonic loused it up.Yet again.As I was floating in the emptiness of space, I came across a primordial entity that could tear apart time to my will.I promptly used it to crash Sonic's little birthday celebration, perfected it into an ultimate weapon with the help of my past self, and sent that hedgehog through a menagerie of traps across time and space! And thentwoSonics promptly loused up our plans to rewrite the world, and we were then left bickering to one another in a timeless white void. I don't quite recall how we escaped\u2026 maybewe found the door?I tried to take over a planetoid using some obnoxious creatures known as the Zeti.And then they turned on mebecause Sonic stupidly punted away THE ONLY THING that kept them from doing so before!I did however manage to trick him and Tails into getting rid of those oversized talking splinters for me, and wouldn't you have it, I climbed back to the top from nothing! And then that hedgehog beat me again. Moving on.But guess what?I ACTUALLY MANAGED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!OOOOOHOHOHOHO!I almostwon! Sonic was beaten, and without theirprecious hero, all I needed to do was mop up his little friends until everything was under my heel! And all this was possible thanks to this magical jewel I found called the Phantom Ruby.All the way over in another dimension\u2014 by which I mean the dimension of time and thus the past,I wouldn't expect someone like you to have the genius to grasp it all\u2014I found this fantastic jewel known as the Phantom Ruby on Angel Island, but following a battle with Sonic and my new, at the time, traitorous creation, both the Phantom Ruby and the past version of Sonic ended up in the future at different points in time.But what fortune for the me of said future, as I found out the Ruby couldform illusions so convincing that they could affect the actual reality of those under its power. I found a good guinea pig for it in this exploitable little jackal mercenary who got a knot in his tail over Shadow beating him up. He promptly assimilated with the Ruby and renamed himself \"Infinite\", and with help from some illusionary replicas of four past traitors to me, he managed to defeat Sonic!Victory was mine!Soon, entire nations submitted to my power! Those military try-hards at GUN were cleaned right off the map! In just a mere six months, EVERYTHING had fallen to the might of the Eggman Empire!Butno, somedumb lucky Sonic fanaticwho joined the \"Resistance\" against me justhadto help free Sonic from his prison, Infinite just couldn't be bothered to do his job right andtore holes in my plans one by one, and the aforementioned two Sonics and their new little friend eventually trashedevery last bitof my master scheme! All my planning,all my plotting,I finally hadeverythingAND THOSE PESTS STILL HUMILIATED ME TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!NNGGGGRRRAAUUUGH!!!Cubot:N-now, boss! Breathe!Breathe!Remember your blood pressure!YES!(inhale, exhale)Yes, Cubot.I know.So what next, you might ask? Well, I'm just undergoing some downtime right now, but I assure you that I've got some new revenge schemes planned out, and next timeI will be victorious!Especially sincemy newest discoveryseems promising... except... ugh, I basically had to team up with that blue pest to save the world from a thing that destroys worlds or so I was told. I mean, sure, I had my AI assistant who basically got really interested in him, but I'm probably gonna have to keep a close eye to ensure she doesn't go out again, just like when she left me and sacrificed herself to save the world. Doesn't she know how I wept for her after seeing the world saved?! Kids these days, no respect!But as an aside, I do have this little pet project.(I go to a computer screen and type in some commands, with the screen then showing different versions of me)Impressive, is it not? I managed to tap into the space-time spectrum for a bit and found out that there's even more versions of yours truly out there!First off, here's a reality whereI was more absurd in character\u2014 yet no less devilishly dangerous\u2014 and also had two (sometimes three) hench-bots so bumbling that they make me feel a little more grateful for Orbot and Cubot. By about, say, one percent. He also coined the \"I hate that hedgehog!\" catchphrase that other versions of me have used, and once had this time-travel escapade where he collected his world's Chaos Emeralds and briefly achieved godhood with them. Unfortunately, he wasn't themostfeared person in his reality. That honor was taken by his mother ofMomma Robotnik. Yeah, I'd\u2026 I guess it makes sense from that standpoint. It's a close second place.Ooh, and here's one whereI conquered Sonic's little homeland and made it my own. And I mean, yes, he's got the villainy down, sure, but I'm honestly not a fan of his aesthetic choices. Coincidentally, there'san alternate version of THAT universe where my empire was going strong and had half the planet in its grasp\u2026 until something called a\"Genesis Wave\"warped that world into something more akin to my universe. Wonder who'd have been stupid enough to causethatto happen.There'sa lesser-known realitywhere I began as the goody-two-shoes Dr. Ovi Kintobor, who sought to rid the world of evil using a special machine and the Chaos Emeralds, but an accident involving it and a rotten egg (and a Sonic from the future) transformed him into yours truly. Thanks to some time-travel shenanigans, he managed to get Sonic out of the way and take his rule over the planet until a planet-wide EMP trashed all his machines. Afterwards, he teamed up with fish cyborgs, briefly attained godhood, got warped to a subatomic world, and then performed an unceremonious rage quit by attempting to destroy the very planet he intended to conquer, which was enough for even his deathly loyal right-hand-man to give up on him.You had me and you lost me, other self.There's one whereI tried to destroy the planetso I could\u2026 procreate with an annoying humanoid cat-girl and repopulate whatever remains? I swear, that version of me must have some very,veryweird tastes. That's where my curiosity ends, thankfully.And another one whereI ousted Sonic's birth mother from her throneand had to deal with him and his siblings'annoying rock musicwith\u2026 two other bumbling sidekicks? That were ugly dog-things instead of robots, no less?One whereI accidentally sent Sonic and his friends to a human-filled realm where he made friends with a young brat and some events of my universe still transpired, and I yet again had two (sometimes three) bumbling sidekicks. I'm sensing a pattern here.And there's another whereI\u2026 don't really do much of anything villainy-wise.I mean, I'm more\u2026butch, I guess? The Sonic there also has longer limbs, blue arms, and duct tape worn around his arms and shoes. Not sure what the big deal with that is.And my latest find,a universe with an identical history to my own up until my use of the Phantom Ruby.Seems that this me managed to make a metallic virus at one point that transformed the masses into his mindless slaves. Very interesting. It's too bad he let it slip out of his control, not to mention how that platypus brown-nose ruined everything else. He sadly doesn't seem to show up that much, either.Now there's anew universe where my alternate self found an artifact called the Paradox Prism. As per tradition, that impulsive insectivore tried to interfere and he and his friends get sent to alternate worlds for their troubles including one where I took over the world and exist as a council of five people willing to share. Yes, dimensional travel never stops being weird.noteOrbot:Sir, that onemight actually beourreality.Me:Meh, given all the discrepancies it has compared to our timeline (and our dear readers' disillusionment with cross-media), the higher-ups of our series could just as easilychange their tune about itwhen they feel it's time to de-clutter again. Give it a few years, Orbot. It doesn't just happen with us.Orbot:But I thought\u2014Me:Also, don't try to correct me again. I'm the genius here.There was also thisbizarre incidentwhere I became a disembodied spirit by an entity that could put the likes of Dark Gaia and the Time Eater to shame and rivaled only by THE END. I've been told that Sonic was among those who managed to keep their bodies and fight back during the whole affair, but I am confident that this \"Mr. Sakurai\" I've heard about or a successor of his will allow me to do the same the next time something like this happens. Which I'm sure you also desire. Demand that your voices be heard and get me into that championship! That's an order!Cubot:Ooh! Ooh! Hey, boss! What about the one where you're all skinny and look like somefamous comedy actor?Oh, yes,the more heavily-detailed and beady-eyed one.That version of me was apparently working with the government in that universe, and he had\u2026 hair. At least until his version of the blue mutant exiled him to a mushroom wasteland,but that's been rectified since.Lack of gut aside, Idolike the cut of his jib, and his glorious new 'stache on top of it. I shall be watching this new universe with very keen investment.And that's the big jist of all you need to know about the gentleman genius that is yours truly. I only hope hearing my story has taught you everything that being a scientist is all about: find something, continue searching until you can understand it\u2026 and then exploit it for your own purposes!Nyahaha!Hmm? You still want to know more? Well, I think I've said quite a lot, but why deny my audience an encore performance? Especially one as, er\u2026\"captive\"as you are. Now, further bask in my greatness, and ensure you write me with authenticity, FOOLS!Tropes associated with your planet's future ruler, in all his incarnations:Ace Pilot: Ah yes, I'm an absolute master at piloting aircraft! I've also seen all of my versions being masterful pilots too. Eventhat one version of me who was with the governmenthad a high-tech aircraft to call his own and he could also pilot it with ease and go really fast doing so!Acrofatic: Ho ho! Remember, I'm aprofessional Olympic athlete, a notedExtreme Gear championand I've evenkept pace with the rodentin the past. And I'm sure you've been taught by countless other media that even piloting cutting-edge battle mecha involves a lot of stretching and multitasking, which you can infer yours truly does on the regular.Adaptational Angst Upgrade: Not as bad as the rodent's alternate self,but there's this version of methat grew up as an orphan and had to deal with bullies. Iwon'twaste time telling you if my childhood was nearly as much of a drag, but you already know that I at least havea grandfather. Oh, right. Also his granddaughter. Which would thus make her my cousin\u2026 bah, who cares?Adaptational Badass: Can you believe there've been no less thantwootherversionsof me that used the Chaos Emeralds to achieve godhood and became aReality Warper, and that there's arecent version of methat he could justabsorbjust the Master Emerald's power by itself,withoutthe Chaos Emeralds andwithoutneeding to use it to power a robot first? The latter me even hadtelekinesis,the power to sense people's brainwaves, andChaos Controlitself! If I had tried this sooner, perhaps things would've been so much easier for me!Adaptational Dumbass: The newer version of me fromthat comichadundergone his own war with the Resistancewith what I can believe was the sameplanningandforesightthat I utilized\u2026 and yethe carelessly allowed his Zombot virus to spiral out of his controland did nothing about it until hisplatypus brown-nosebrought in the Deadly Sixof all peopleto screw both of them over. I'd hardly say I'd ever fallen to such passivity before. Granted, I've heard that he's regained some rationale lately throughbreaking said platypus in mind, body and spirit, but if he hadn't screwed up his own plan in the first place, perhaps Starline wouldn't have been uppity enough to try and prove himself his \"superior\".\"Big oof\", nonetheless.Adaptational Nice Guy: Hold on,WHAT!?I mean, Iama complicated guy, but\u2026 ugh. Let's see here:It seems that whenever I happen to beat the Olympics,hosting an online question-and-answer sessionor doingsome other kind of recreational activitywith the rat and his ratpack, I'm morefriendly, affable and down-to-earth with them.I don't know what comes over me, but rest assured, it's back to the grind the moment that all ends.The version of me fromthat animeand itstie-in comictakes the cake, however. Not only is hemore personable with his opponents to the point of casually showing up to their pool party, but he's also willing to sanitize his own villainy for the alleged reason ofnot scaring off the younger members of his audience. And then there's his most egregious quote of all, \"It's one thing to take people PRISONER and THREATEN them, but when you actually HURT somebody, that's going TOO FAR!\" Which he says in spite ofyearsof attempts on his Sonic's life? Even afterrigging an explosive trap on himjust likeIdid!? Or does he also prefer to get it over with?Ugh.Moving on!Actually, scratch that.The butch version of meis evenmoresoft-boiled than the aforementioned anime me. He doesn't eventryto be a big, imposing adversary. Heck, despite allegedly wanting to destroy his foes, he's practically a glorified neighbor to them, and he's tried tobefriendhis version of Sonic more than once! I just\u2014why!? For what reason!?Whichone's the sillier version of me again? Him orthe other one?Aesop Amnesia: Since my transition to the three-dimensional world, I've been subject to an unsavory trend of relying on powerful ancient entities to conquer the world\u2026 which, admittedly, ended upbiting me on the bumper.Fortunately, being the great scientist that I always am,I've learned from my mistakes and have improved immensely:I've managed to harness the power of theTime Eaterwithout ever losing control of it! Though, in fairness, it was already out of commission when I found it in the void of space, but that only added to the beauty of my whole scheme. With help from my younger self in perfecting it, that long drawn-out trend was finally broken!\u2026Only for it to come back with a vengeance whenI lost control of the Deadly Six. Onlythattime, it was the fault of that reckless blue mammal who kicked the Cacophonic Conch out of my hand! Fortunately, after Sonic cleaned up his mess with those silly Zeti freaks,I managed to regain my status as the final boss under their noses!Hahaha!Another example to prove I've learned from my shortcomings is how I had the foresight put thatlousy jackalon a leash so I could dispose of him at a moment's notice. I considered how giving that lunatic the Phantom Ruby could backfire, but to my surprise, Infinite didn't choose to betray me. Though he still turned out to be the inverse of his namesake after screwing up one time too many, so with that, I decided togive him the boot, and he was never heard from again.Good riddance!Amusement Park of Doom: Ah, yes! I'm quite a fan of the genre, between the different theme parks I've put together over the years.Aside from when Itook over Casino Nightand turnedCarnival Night into a death trap for Sonic, I did once attempt to converta special little island into a resort for myself a while back\u2026 before that knucklehead and some other posers got involved with my plans. Where do vermin like them keep coming from, anyway?I also once put togethera park made of gold ringsthat GUN decided to snoop around in. And I think that mytalking photocopy tried his own luck at a few theme parks, too.But even those were paltry compared to the ultimate testament of my showmanship\u2014Eggmanland!I finally managed to complete itwhen I cracked the world apart, andohohoho,it was so amusing to watch Sonic fumble about!But then Dark Gaia had to go and louse it all when he reformed himself!(sigh)My life dream's been stuck collecting dust ever since.But I was undeterred! I tried again and went bigger and better with my\"Incredible Interstellar Amusement Park\", the greatest amusement park the universe would ever see! Much as it was just a feint for my next scheme. It would've went smoothly if Sonic hadn't destroyed one of my security bots and sent one of its arms flying into my mind-control cannon, in turn causing my whole masterpiece to overload andimplode on itself into a black hole!(quietly sobs)That wonderful labor of love, gone in an instant before it could be the beacon of my conquest. This is why we can't have nice things, you know!And Your Little Dog, Too!: My alternate self has the number ofthat sheriff and his wifewho helped his Sonic. I suppose they'll be next on his list to eliminate.Antagonist in Mourning:When I had gotten rid of Sonic with that exploding capsule, I was admittedly...solemnin uttering a farewell to my \"admirable adversary\".But that doesn't matter, after all, turning that runt into space chunks was such agloriousvictory! At least until it turned out he had survived bysomehowusing Chaos Control with a fake Emerald. Blasted hedgehog!Appropriated Appellation: It was Sonic who named me \"Eggman\", but I've embraced the name! I made it my own!Although I am not going to adopt\"Baldy McNosehair\".Arch-Enemy: Have you even been paying attention? That pest Sonic doesn't know when to stay out of my business and just\u2026diealready! It's as if we've been fighting fordecadesat this point!Artificial Family Member:I've come around to viewing myAI program, Sage, as my own daughter. No need to wait for nature to do the workwhen you're already a genius. Besides, with all the trouble she gave Sonic, she's a chip off the old block!The pointy-headed mecreated a robot son simply called \"Robotnik Jr.\" Unfortunately, he turned on him and sided with Sonic. He also created a robot wife as part of his scheme to get elected President of Mobius.The butch version of mecreated \"Mombot\", a robot designed to act as his mother. Despite how he would effectively be her father. And somehow her son.Her father and her son.It'sreallynot surprising that this version of me has so many issues.Bad Boss: Bad?Me?Please, I'm a great employer!It's not my fault my lackeys can't keep up with my intellect! They should be lucky I don'tturn them intomindless slavesand instead let them keep their free will to help serve my empire! Willingly and happily, I might add!The Bad Guy Wins: Hmph! Sonic may get a majority of victories, but I've come out the victor a few times myself in my dimension and a few others.As stated above, I actually managed to hand Sonic his keister through the Phantom Ruby and Infinite, and took over the world! Okay, those annoying heroes managed to take it back, but it was still a solid victory nonetheless.That whole mess with the hover boards and birds?I came out on top in the end after they beat that evil genie\u2026 thing.The prize was still underwhelming, sadly.So what if it's amagicfloating carpet? I can't exploitthatfor my schemes!In another timeline, I teamed up with Sonic and his friends to fight some rogue echidna faction and stayed behind when they chased their leader into another dimension. Since time moved differently on both sides, it gave me ample time to take over the world by the time they managed to return. A shame I've never been able to find out what happened in that reality next, but it's good to see I had the royal flush of cards in the end! Ohohoho!Ineveryone's favorite printed dimension, an alternate version of me from another dimension (yes, I know, there's indeed a lot a dimensions involved here) had actually won in his universe by justnukingeverything on his planet. Predictably, he got bored, and he likewise couldn'truleover a dead husk, so he found out about the \"prime\" dimension within that set of realities and jumped over to fill the void left behind by their felled Robotnik! Just goes to show you can't keep a good doc down!Beware the Silly Ones: Silly?! Who calls a scientific genius silly? But I digress. I never let my \"silliness\" undermine my brilliancy and cunning!Big Bad: The ultimate adversary forallthe world's heroes, and don't you forget it!Boring, but Practical: There was one time I actuallystole Sonic's shoes and replaced them with speed-down boots. If I'd only done this more often rather than creating robotic duplicates and rousing ancient beings from their slumber, my problems would've been solved! But more importantly, it wasa wonderfully special kind of torture!Ho ho!Broken Pedestal: I was appalled when I learned that my grandfather reprogrammed the Space Colony ARK to come crashing down to the planet, destroying everything and everyone in the process, all so he could enact his revenge for the loss of his granddaughter.That mad scientist!Killingeveryoneon the planet, includinghis own grandson destined to rule it!?That's so impractical I can't even find the words for it!He should've just used the ARK itself to destroy those military geeks at GUN!...To be fair, this was before we all learnedwhat he really built the Eclipse Cannon for.That wasbrilliantforwhen the comet returned like he predicted!Card-Carrying Villain: Just had one printed yesterday for the occasion, actually. Allow me to read it out.Ahem.\"Dr. Ivo 'Eggman' Robotnik, super-genius. Glorious head of the Eggman Empire. Future world leader (singular), senior roboticist and engineer, and enthusiast in the complete enslavement of the masses and cultivation of natural resources. Contact details below.\"Catchphrase: Ah, yes! A brilliant scientist such as I should harbor an equally brilliant way with words:The timeless classic:\"I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!\"\"All systems, FULL POWER!\", \"Get a load of THIS!\", and (regrettably) \"No way! I can't believe this!\"\"Yosh!\"for the expression of joy.\"Lights out!\" and \"You know what they say! The MORE the MERRIER!\"I hear you Internet cretinstook a liking to the latter quotefor some strange reason.\"Get ready to be schooled!\"Or was it meant to be \"skewered\"?\"You little... you little--!\"\"Time for a change of pace!\"Cheshire Cat Grin: And it's perfectly photogenic, too!Complete Monster: Oh ho ho! Not usually, I admit, but I do admire when other versions of merefrain from any holding back.Theanimated version of meyou may have heard of turned that little kingdom from the inside out and transformed a planet's worth of opposition intomindless machines, including the blue buffoon's dear only unclewhen he was just a dumb little boy.D'awwwww!That similarlyprinted version of medid all the above and then some\u2014 experimenting on his own people, tearing apart families even more gleefully, creating a doomsday weapon to warp Sonic's home village into eternal non-existence\u2014 I'd argue it's a littlepointlessly excessivehere and there, but hey, all the more misery for the rodent! The version of him that came after (longstory) came close at times, but he didn't quite hit the mark. Something about wanting to be a robot dad.There was also one lesser-knownprinted version of methat once again ravaged cities and turned people into robots, and also permitted his forces to burn a whole continent to ashes to ensure they got the hedgehog. The kicker was that he threw Sonic, Amy and some outlying echidna princess into an active volcano while taking a photo of it to hang above the chimney. Quite classy, if I say so myself.Sure, you might overlook theoddball animated reality with all the horrible musical numbers, but the version of me there has been just as rotten as the rest. More lower-class fools and insolents have gotten turned into robots (cyborgs?) for their troubles, I've forced the three hedgehogs and their many loved ones to suffer at every opportunity\u2026 ooh, there's even one point where I sought to turn a sanctuary for the Resistance's childreninto a cemetery! Heh heh! Plus, I duped that reality's diminutive version of Knuckles into catching Sonic and his siblings for me even as the world was collapsing into chaos.Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Huh. It appearsthe man himselfis around here, too. But contrary to popular belief, I dohave plenty of perfectly legal money-making enterprisesof which I can use to further fund my schemes of conquest. I mean, what, did you think I wanted to rule the world for a reasonotherthan ruling the world?Despotism Justifies the Means: I don't view myself as particularly picky. As long as a place\u2014 be it primitive, advanced, pristine or otherwise\u2014 has beings thatcanbe enslaved, then that's good enough for me!Determinator: A lesser man would've thrown in the towel if he went through all the hardships I have. Unfortunately for the rodent who keeps thwarting my plans, I amnota lesser man. Iwillachieve my eternal Eggman Empire, and Iwilldestroy Sonic and all his stupid friends!Detonation Moon: Who could ever forget the timeI blew up half of the moon with the Eclipse Cannonjust to let everyone know that I'm going to conquer the world?Word has itthat the moon is still broken; it's just always facing the other way when we see it. Then again, my anime version fixed it (and called it the Eggmoon) as part of a scheme to block the sun. Heh. If only I had thought of that in the games!Didn't Think This Through: WHAT!? WHOSAYSI DON'T!?ALL MY PLANS ARE BRILLIANT!Okay, maybe I\u2026havetended to overlook afewglaring flaws in my past schemes. Like maybe when you're trying to control mystic deities, find a way to keep a leash on them, as I did the Time Eater. Or maybe put some \"safety protocols\" into your devices should they go haywire. But I don't always havetimeto think of all that! I need to strike while the iron is hot when it comes to my brilliant concepts, and my nemesis isalreadya speedy little mongrel!Draco in Leather Pants:OH, FOR THE LOVE OF\u2014 uh\u2026yes!You're right!Iamjusta tragically misunderstood genius with a big heart and perfectly noble intentions to make the world a better place!Unlike thatmean, sorry hedgehog, you must besuchagoodobserver! Now, now, I'm sure you're eager, but I don't need any sympathy for all the grief I've been given. I only wish to have your eternal servitude and obedience. And yes, youcouldrefuse, but would youreallywant to\u2026(sniff)\u2026hurt my feelings?The Dreaded: Ohohoho! Well, I do love to be feared. Even with all my losses to that insipid hedgehog, he and his little friends know I will always be back and won't rest until the world is mine!Enemy Mine: Loathed as I hate to admit it, there are... moments where even my genius can't overcome certain situations alone, with both Sonic and I having a common threat we have to take care of. Thus, we agree to team up to stop it, since Sonic wants to \"save the world\" like usual, and sinceI'd prefer there to BE a worldthat I can conquer later. More specifically, they wereon the ARK,against Gemerl,against the Zeti, andagainst that big monologuing rock. In other cases, we justregrettablyhappened to be in the same room.Enraged by Idiocy: Few things make my blood boil more than the sheer stupidity and uselessness of my mechanical underlings Orbot and Cubot. Then again, it's the expected price to pay for when you create those robots with less intelligence. On the plus side, it's impossible for them to (successfully) rebel against me that way.Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Okay, okay,fine, I'll admit it. I created anAI, Sage, to help me explore the Starfall Islands, and I've come to view her as my own daughter. Yes, it's not anything I'd ever think would happen given how usually the only heart I've ever needed or wanted ismine, but as I've said before\u2026 I'm a complicated guy. Besides, isn't it important to beproud of your own work?Even Evil Has Standards: I may be a ruthless, diabolical scientist, but I'm also a man of principle. Most notably, I wouldneverdestroy the entire planet out of petty revenge. After all,I would have no planet to conquer.I was disgusted and horrified when I had learnedmy grandfather betrayed his own species and home planet to Black Doom and his ravenous hive of monsters all in the name of research. But my assumptions were wrong, thankfully, he had built the Eclipse Cannon to deal with those alien mongrels when they would return fifty years later, a plan which Shadow sufficiently fulfilled.I was horrified when myso-called \"alternate self\" from the Sol Dimension activated the Egg Wizard's Planet-Buster Laserin a last-ditch effort to defeat Sonic and that cat princess. Another reason why I'm glad I'm notrelatedto that lunatic.That annoying little chihuahua assumed that I would starve Professor Pickle after I imprisoned him, but Tails assured him that I'm \"not that cruel\". And he was far from wrong. I gave him some slices of cucumber sandwiches at his request, but the old coot didn't appreciate this because they weren't his preferred size.Tsk!Everyone's a critic, even hostages!After activating my machine designed to sap life energy from the world, I made sure that it reaches a small threshold before turning it off since I only wanted to borrow some of it. But those Zeti rejects intended to takeallof the world's energy, which nearly destroyed this world!Despite successfully (and FINALLY) conquering the world, I grew sick of Infinite's petty and sadistic tendencies, especially when theyRUINED ALL MY PLANS. Once that useless jackal got his pathetic hide handed to him by Sonic and some random punk for the third time, I kicked him to the curve, and I don't regret it at all!Evil Versus Oblivion: There have been afewtimeswhere the entire world, no, all of reality itself was threatened by something beyond my control. That should bemyjob! But I begrudgingly left it to that meddlesome hedgehog to fix such messes. After all, I can't conquer the planet and expand the Eggman Empire if there's no planet left to begin with!Fat Bastard: Watch your language, bucko. And by the way, my weight has nothing to do with my supervillainous magnificence, thank you!Faux Affably Evil: Oh, no, no, I'd argue that description'sa load of hoopla.I'm quite the gentleman genius, and my universal conquest is simply a way for me to express mylove!Besides, I haven't blasted you to bits yet, have I,you little sneak?Flaw Exploitation: Let's say I have a track record of tricking that gullible echidna into fighting Sonic. And I had gained the advantage over Sonic by playing with that cocky ego of his.Fountain of Memes: It seems you lot have a vested interest inmimickingwhat I've said asI've been fighting the little ratin particular, and have a similar attitude towardsone of my other selves. It's\u2026 cute, I suppose. Unless it's mockery, in which case you can enjoysuperenslavement and/or a dirt nap down the line.In related news, I'm acutely aware ofthat little improv act worldwhere my quotability extended to nearly every breath I took. I won't say that cartoonishly oddball version of me isentirelyembarrassing given that he's the only one therewith any marginal lick of sense, but I feel he would agree with me in that you folks have your priorities out of order, such as focusing more on the moon'slittle experienceon than onthe girth and mightof what exactlygaveit that little experience.But I suppose willful ignorance like that is par for the course among those too little-minded to realize their own envy.Freudian Excuse:I wouldn't go as far as to use my background to get pity(and a great scientist like myself wouldn't need it from you ignoramuses) but youcouldargue that my desire to take over the world stems from my loathing of you humans for being so petty and inept (huge,hugeemphasis on the latter). An easy example would be how the government feared the scientific achievements of my grandfather instead of appreciating the brilliance behind them,but contrary to popular belief, I've never been up foravengingthe old fool outright. It's not the \"Gerald Robotnik Memorial Empire\", for Pete's sake. I would rather see his legacy as a base or template; something to reach its evolution through the efforts of an even more brilliant mind with just as much inclination to improve the world. And what better way formeto improve the world than by ruling it with an iron fist and proving once and for all thatI'mthe ultimate paragon of science and ingenuity? Ohoho!On another note, when Maria was riddled with bullets on the day of the ARK raid, all my family were sad about how such a special little snowflake passed away. Meanwhile,Iwas right there and already a budding prodigy,so what excuse did they have to ignore me while blubbering over someone who was gone?They should've recognized me as someone just as goodandjust as better! Geez. You won't seemebeing asshamefully neglectfularound Sage, I can tell you that!Final Boss: Back in the classic games, I was always the final challenge for you players to face! In the modern games, this tends to vary depending on when some other evil entity or group gets involved, but I've managed to reclaim this title somewhat. As nature intended.Game-Over Man: Did you mess up in keeping me from the Chaos Emeralds in the old games? Then you get to watch as I juggle them in your face! Better try again\u2026 or better yet,don't!Ohohohoho!Genius Bruiser: Believe it or not, I've demonstratedimpressive speed and strengthin the past, though I'll gladly let my machines do all the heavy work.Giggling Villain: And you'll like it, too!Back inthe daywhen I actually got a hit on Sonic or his sidekick, it would get a giggle out of me!Depending on the rendition of the Angel Island fiascothough, I either drop this habit, or I keep it up nice and well, even programming my stray Eggrobo to do the same!Hidden Depths: I happen to be a feminist. Surprised?You're all primed to be my minions, after all!Hijacked by Eggman:The Time Eater? MY brilliance! Even pretending to get sucked in by it.Impressed? And this was after years of having this pulled on me, by Chaos, the Biolizard, Metal Sonic of all things, Dark Gaia...\"I Am\" Song:E.G.G.M.A.N.Feast your ears on this glorious song dedicated to yours truly!Insufferable Genius: I have an IQ of 300 and have built machines that world governments can only dream of. If you were me,you'dsee everybody as a moron, too. But you're not me, and I pity your little mind for being unable to grasp the tragedy of that.It's All About Me: Well, of course it is! I have a brand name to uphold. It's theEggman Empire, not the \"Everyone Else Municipality\"!Joker Immunity: I've survived my bases exploding, many vehicle crashes, the harsh vacuum of space,inter-dimensional rifts,the droll space between time,being thrown into the stratosphere and back, andthe blue rat himself messing with my jetpack and sending me plummeting towards the ground. My own endurance aside, it just shows that I'm too much of an iconic evil genius to be killed off! Doing that would be a terrible mistake! Granted, there were thosethree phony endings where Shadow karate-chopped me to death, but those are of course obsolete\u2014 I'm too important to die, to put it simply, and I wouldn't have it any other way!Karma Houdini Warranty: You'd think constantly losing would already count as this, but I'll admit, I've been slipping as of late. After my flops, I usually managed to slip away unnoticed. It wasn't until Metal Sonicturned on methat my failures began blowing up in my face. I knew I shouldn't have hired the Chaotix of all slop detectives, but their greed made it too tempting.Lack of Empathy: My ingenious plans to conquer the world have inflicted mass destruction and untoldsuffering, you say? Pfft.Whatever!If anything, it's actually a rather useful reminder that I indeed leave a mark of my brilliance on the world. I'd say it's my own form of \"tough love\" for it.Laughably Evil: Funny?! ME?! Okay, okay, I must admit that I am quite the hilarious villain. Even when I'm planning on committing such nefarious deeds, I do tend to be quite the bombastic and entertaining fellow. And then there's my many interactions with my annoying and incompetent robot henchmen, Orbot and Cubot, that make me so annoyed in a comical way. Then there's that blasted hedgehog and his insufferable friends constantly making a fool out of me!Mad Scientist: That's me!Magnificent Bastard:OHOHOHOHO!Though perhaps it'd be fitting to call me theEggnificent\u2026 er,Bad Guy. I'm such a cut above the rest that I should be given my own title! As forsome specific timesof when my brilliance reached a peak:For me personally, there's quite a few cases:sending Sonic, Mighty and Ray kicking and screaming throughout their Eggman Island tomb;staying constantly one step ahead of Sonic as I restored Chaos more and more to full power;tricking that blue buffoon into cleaning up his Zeti-shaped mess for me; andeverythingI didto keep the Resistance from getting their easy victory.There's also that ancillary version of me from thatother timelinewhere I tricked Sonic and all his foolish little friends into practicallygivingme the world to conquer!Bwahahahaha!In the case of other dimensions, there'sthat animated version of methat contributed to the downfall of those Metarex aliens. While his propensity for\u2026friendlinesswith the hedgehog still disgusts me, I can at least admire his actions in playing everyone like the dollar-store kazoos they were. His version of Sonic, however the life expectancy, has alotto give him credit for.Misanthrope Supreme: I'm not a fan of the other intellectually inferiorhomo sapiens(the present company looking at this page NOT excluded)and I couldn't care less if my plans have resulted in their suffering. In fact, their terror puts a smile to my face! Hahahaha!Mysterious Employer: AfterMetal Sonic rebelled against me and locked me in a room inside my flying fortress, I decided to hire those goofy detectives in helping me foil Metal Sonic's selfish plan in ruling the world for himself. But to avoid letting them figure out my identity since I am a world-renowned villain, I made myself a secret client for them. Unfortunately, I didn't make myself less obvious and the Chaotix figured out my identity (well Vector did, the other two only worked it after meeting me in person) and that bee brat stung me many times! And they forced me to pay them as promised! Grrr! Never again will I hire detectives!Narcissist: Oh, sure, use aninsultto describe my beautiful self-adoration.You're quite the intelligent specimen.Perhaps instead it would do you good to join in with worshiping meas if your life depended on it. Just a thought, just a thought.Never My Fault: Absolutely! I'm the world's greatest scientist! OfcourseI can do no wrong! Just to give an example, when Sonicrecklessly punted the Cacophonic Conch out of my grasp, I lost control of the Zeti, and they turned against me before deciding to drain the world's energy for themselves! Therefore, it was that blue buffoon's fault that the world nearly ended up in shambles! Wait, what? Where did you get the blasted idea that I wasabusingthose creatures!? I've already told you,I'm a GREAT employer!Noodle Incident: Apparently, one of my other selves oncemade his childhood bully eat through a straw for a year. Hmm.Noblewoman's Laugh:O~hohohoho!I'm one of the few men who can pull this off withstyle!Offscreen Villain Dark Matter: I'm sure your feeble mind is curious as to how I can afford building my robots, machines, flying fortresses, bases of operations, and space stations. Let's just say that, between all mystartup tech companies, resource mining operations and casinos, being the world's greatest scientist with an IQ of 300 has gifted me with a wholelottadough! Yes, there was that timeI didn't pay the Chaotix for their services after Metal Sonic locked me in a room, but I assure you that only happened because the Egg Fleet's construction costs took priority andnot because I was unwilling to give away perfectly good money to three slop detectives.Rooting for the Empire: There's at least a few continuities where I'm more liked than the obnoxious hedgehog. For example, in theold comic continuity, I provided the Dark Egg Legion sanctuary as long as they pledged their loyalty to me. Asmallprice to pay, yes, but considering how the Kingdom of Acorn was run by incompetents stuck in the Dark Ages made worse by adding in a bungling, bickering \"council\" of dimwits, and their so-called allies the Brotherhood of Guardians were a bunch of hypocrites when it came to technology being \"evil\" as well as letting their scion be easily manipulated by the likes of me, not to mention some of the more rabid splinter factions of so-called \"Freedom Fighters\", there were worse alternatives.Surrounded by Idiots: I can't seem to shake this pattern of having buffoons as my subordinates in any reality. Even when said lackeys have some intelligence like that wimp Snively or that platypus doctor Starline, they can't stand up to the magnificence ofmoiand I have to suffer for it. Then again, an idiotiseasier to keep under my thumb than someone with devious ambition, even if the two traits aren't mutually exclusive. Isn't that right,Starscream?Take Over the World: It's been my life's goal since I was a child! And it's whatI've already succeeded at once, too! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!Token Human: Depends on the dimension, but for the most part I tend to be the only human around aside from Sonic's fuzzy entourage. Or at the least the one with the most focus, as it should be!The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Oh ho ho! I rememberfightingfellow mad scientistDoctor Wilyalongside our robot armies.Wait, what? What do you mean, we both lost? To a viral-infected Metal Sonic?Blah!noteDr. Wily:Ha! And you know what? My ultimate creation, Zero, eventually put that metal hedgehog down! So I win in the end!Me:Can it! You just wait until I complete my own ultimate creation, a superior robot version of your\u2026 oh. I just realized I can't quite make a robot versionofa robot, but nevertheless, Iwillstill surpass you!Anyways, ya still good for Friday, Al?Dr. Wily:Yes, I'm still up for our genius get-together.Me:Great. See ya!Unwilling Roboticisation:Ah, yes, my magnum opus: turning organics into robots. Exquisite, isn't it? Sure, most scientists I showed it to claim it was \"unethical\", but what dotheyknow!? It's an untapped energy source and has been the heart of my operations ever since I started my endeavors. My alternate counterparts have even expanded it into converting humanoids into mindless robots. Plus, logically, it's a great form of immortality. No pain, no suffering from illness, you'll never run out of stamina that hinders your weak fleshy body, andyou'll never need to think for yourself ever again! It's genius!Genius, I say!Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: Youdostill remember when I tried to blow up Station Square andsucceededin blowing up the moon, right?Villainous Friendship: Even a number one like me is up for a little get-together with my fellow top dogs of ruthlessness and reverence. Gotta share success stories with someone, after all. Perhaps next time I'll meet up withthat Gerudo king.notePreferably, the original one with all the proper experience and history. Thenew onethat I've been informed of is\u2026 rather different.I'm sure you're all familiar with whoBowseris, along withthe times we spent together at the Olympicsexploiting regional power sources for our own ends. If his nemesis and mine ever get that action-packed adventure together that some of you lot have been asking for, I'll be sure to ring him up.noteBowser:Plannin' an attack on those nerdsoutsidethe Olympics...? DUDE. I have NEVER thought of that! Eggy, whenever you're ready to stomp out those red and blue chumps, I am TOTALLY on board! Gwa ha ha ha!And let's not forget onethe dear Dr. Albert Wily, the other magnificent man of machine mastery\u2026 but so far only in that one other timelinewhere we teamed upto rewrite reality\u2014 using technologymyother self invented\u2014 only for Sonic and Mega Man to show up and send everything south. We apparentlyteamed up on another occasionin those dimensions, but any data I can get from that point in time-space is pretzel-shaped andverycluttered. Hopefully, there'll be another opportunity for us to meet up, trade notes, share a drink, watch some good cinema, and blow those two little upstarts to bits!Bwahahaha!Villain Respect: There are things about people I dislike - ordespise- that simply have to be commended. Beingtrapped in Cyberspace depending upon Sage for everythingwill make you reflect on that, believe you me.For all the frustration and ruin that blasted hedgehog brought unto me, his naturalSuper Speedisn't a trait that many individuals are able to develop on their own in any given universe, and he was the first in mine to flaunt it. Such requires a modicum of begrudging respect, and I'm man enough to admit that. It'll make his inevitable destruction all the more thematically satisfying, after all.Tails has a natural knack for machinery and robotics that in many ways rivals my own. On one hand, I feel he's wasting that talent through his parasitic co-dependency with that cerulean curmudgeonandtheir combined \"heroics\". On the other hand, I havea fewdocumentedrecordingsthat remind mewhysaid parasitic co-dependency is still a good thing for me...I still recallthe days Amy Rose was easy bait for me to use against Sonic. These days, however, I've come to realize and accept that those days are long gone: her athleticism and skill with that hammer are eclipsed only by her raw determination. It's too bad how eventhatis outdone by her petulant infatuation with the blue showboater, though.Errgh.noteSage, I need you to simulate a battle where pinky here teams up in action with that plumber's main squeeze. I'll forward the results to Bowser later.Worthy Opponent: It's no secret thatIHATEthat hedgehog, but I will admit that I have some level of respect for him for being such a persistent adversary. It's why I chose to fight fire with fire using Metal, after all. Most evident is whenhe survived that exploding escape capsule by using Chaos Control with a fake Emerald.I suppose it means I'll have to be a little more sneaky next time, but that's no challenge.Would Hurt a Child: It seems some of you are prone to forgetting that most of my nemeses arebelow legal age and not even trying to hide it, which nevertheless has no bearing on the fact that I have worked tokill them in battleon a regular basis. Yes, even the schoolgirl rabbit, and even if the latest pest getting in the way of my plans was somehow a drooling infant with zero motor skills. I aim to run atidyoperation, thank you, and youth won't help you any more than age will if you dare to defy me. If anything, the extra layer of annoyance that comes with youth would further prompt me to get to the point.Me:So, are you finally convinced of my brilliant plans? \u2026What!? You AREN'T!? Why, you\u2026 your poor judgement will be shown for what it is once I finish bringing my empire back up to snuff, so get ready for\u2014! \u2026Wait, why are the alarms blaring again? What's going onnow!?Alarm:[blares warning incessantly amidst the sound of my laser cannons, defences and robots getting destroyed]Orbot:Uh, well\u2026 don't be mad, boss\u2026 but while you were going over yourglorious history\u2026 well\u2026Cubot:Sonic snuck in and he's wrecking the place.Me:WHAT!?(a pesky blue blur comes in and blows the door open)Sonic:Yo, Egghead! Thanks for the workout! Thought I'd give ya a personal house call on how well your last batch a' bots performed! \u2026Oh. I see you've got a hostage. Hope I didn't embarrass ya too much in front of a captive audience! Lemme just grab 'em and\u2026 there we go!(the rat zooms off) Take care, Baldy McNosehair!Me:RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!I HATE THAT HEDGEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGG!!!!!!!Alternative Title(s):Doctor Eggman,Sonic The Hedgehog Dr Ivo Eggman Robotnik"}
{"text": "Me, as Mathias Cronqvist:For Count Dracula from the novel, gohere.(The Lord of Vampires is beloved by the night. Especially when channelingNorio Wakamoto,Nobuhiko Kazama,Joji Nakata, andNaoya Uchidaif speaking Japanese. For English, then it'sMichael Guinn,Crispin Freeman,Patrick Seitz, andGraham McTavish. For Spanish, itsCarlos Segundo)Mankind.A cesspit of hatred and lies. I know of this first-hand. Is that why you're here, troper? You have come to me because you shun the light in favor of the darkness?If so, then permit me to introduce myself. (bows) I am Dracula Vlad \u0162epe\u015f. And I do not get many visitors nowadays. I am the genuine article, not the Belmont who fancies himself as me.It seems that I am the first vampire to be given his own page.I do set the standard, after all.I was not always the Lord of Vampires. My origins were a bit...humbler.My birth name was Mathias Cronqvist. A name I haven't used in a long time. That was who I was before I shed it in favor for my current one. I was born in the year 1060, raised in an era in which for a knight, knowledge was just as valuable as gold. That was instrumental in my joining an order of knights alongside Leon Belmont, fighting for God and country.Surprised? Long before his descendants became the bane of my existence, I considered Leon as a friend. I also married my sweetheart, Elizabetha. She was a frail woman, but I was devoted to her all the same.Until God took her from me.I was away with Leon on a military expedition when it happened. Elizabetha was alive when I left. When I returned, she was a corpse. I fought wars in God's name and this was my reward?! He took away which I loved the most!No more. No more will I serve Him.I came to the conclusion that if being mortal is God's decree, then I will defy it.And let God and all His works tremble.With that, I began to plan, all the while pretending to be bedridden from grief. To gain eternal life, I recreated the Crimson Stone. All I needed to complete it was the soul of a powerful vampire.A shame that I had to use Leon and his betrothed in my scheme, but the end justified the means.I was the puppet master and I made everyone dance to my tune; Leon, Sara, Walter, even Gandolfi.It was my master stroke, if I can be so modest. I knew Leon would triumph, weakening Walter enough to allow Death to steal his soul and absorb it into the Crimson Stone.Despite everything, Leon was still my friend. I'd rather not have Sara killed before she turned, but it served my purpose. I offered Leon the chance to become a vampire, but he refused my offer.Eternity without her would be nothing but emptiness.Looking back on it now...I understand what you meant by that, Leon.Not even Death could stop Leon. When I met up with the Reaper of Souls, he had a message for me, from Leon:You have become a cursed being and I will never forgive you. This whipand my kinsmen will destroy you someday. From this day on... the Belmont Clan will hunt the night!So began the Belmont Clan's vendetta against me, one that would end with my death a little over 900 years from now.I fled Transylvania and changed my name. Mathias Cronqvist was dead. Now, and forever, I was Count Dracula Vlad \u0162epe\u015f. Over the centuries, I built my power and influence, with Castlevania as my crowning achievement and symbol of my power.Over four centuries would pass. Then, I met Lisa.I was smitten. Lisa was a healer, creating medicines to care for the sick. She had that fire, that gentle strength that Elizabetha once had. Well, that and she could pass as my first wife, reincarnated.We fell in love, and she warmed my black heart. We married and she bore me a son, Adrian \u0162epe\u015f. You know him as Alucard. (smiles fondly as he looks at a family portrait ofhimself, Lisa and a young Adrian\u25ca) She made me...happy.(mood darkens) But once again, my love was taken from me.The Church accused my wife of witchcraft when all she did was tend to their ills. My beloved was no witch. But they burned her at the stake.When Lisa died, all that remained good within me also died. That was when my war against mankind began.But mankind had its protectors, primarily those from Leon's bloodline. I still remember their names, their faces, even now. Trevor Belmont. Christopher and his son. Simon Belmont.But what hurt the most was when my own son not only disowned me, but rebelled against me and sided with the humans! The same mindless fools that killed his mother!He would later tell me why after we had fought, that he was following Lisa's final wishes.Do not hate humans. If you cannot live with them, then at least do them no harm, for theirs is already a hard lot.Adrian also relayed a personal message from Lisa to me, that she would love me for eternity.Oh, Lisa. Forgive me.Adrian's revelations were not enough to stop my plans. If it wasn't a Belmont that challenged me, it was a distant relative, or an order of monster hunters. As long as man has hatred in their hearts and offer me tribute, I shall return.Adrian finally figured that out. In 1999, in what would be known as the Demon Castle War, I died my final death. By severing my link with Chaos and by extension, Castlevania, I died not as Dracula, but as Mathias Cronqvist.I would later be reincarnated as Soma Cruz, but that is another story.Along with the one whereI seemed to have started out as a Belmont myself.Aside from the standard fare of action games, I alsohave a fighting gameunder my belt. It also has made the fighters here wary of my intentions.the son of Spardacould be considered a threat should he comes after me. Better keep an eye on him for the time being. I was also invited bythe entity known as Dharkon to wage war against his antithesis, Galeem. In addition to being the end boss to both Belmonts in their Classic routes, I was the final bossto some strange yellow spherical creature that eats \"ghosts\"anda human plumberthathunts them. I am also the midboss to theso-called \"One-Winged Angel\"in his path to being \"The Undisputed\". I admit he was a formidable opponent and I had to yield.But it is theanimated adaptationthat impresses me the most. It makes me into a more sympathetic villain, and brief as it may been, showed my relationship with Lisa. To the creators of the show, I raise my glass to you. A far better depiction of me than thatasinine mediocrity that dares passes as myself!Or that ridiculous parody Alucard fromHellsing.What is a trope? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk. Have at them!Affably Evil: Even a vampire of my standing have some class, even towards my enemies. Furthermore, despite the bad blood between us, I respect my son and for a time, was devoted to both Elizabetha and Lisa.Alas, Poor Villain: When Alucard rose in rebellion and bested me, I made an appeal to Lisa for forgiveness.The Antichrist: I am merely the focus for the physical connection of the evil which dwells in mankind.Archnemesis Dad: (fumes) As much as I care for my son, Adrian justinfuriatesme for standing against me.As Long as There Is Evil: Up until the Demon Castle War, I could never truly die. So long as mankind have darkness in their hearts and their faith turns from God,I will return.As the Good Book Says...: \"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?\" Matthew 16:26, I believe. I recited this verse to Adrianfollowing my defeat at his hands.Back from the Dead:Until my permanent demise in 1999.Balance Between Good and Evil:I am the counter to God on Earth.Batman Gambit:It's how Ibecame a vampirein the first place.Big Bad: For the most part. Other times, I'm relegated to being aGreater-Scope Villain.Big Bad Friend: As Mathias,I was this to Leon,manipulating him and several others in order to achieve my goal of becoming a vampire.And everyone played their parts beautifully.Boomerang Bigot: While I am guilty of the crimes I had done when I was mortal, the humans I targeted are much, much worse than I.BossLeitmotif:Dance of Illusions. So majestic, as it reflects my personality perfectly.Casanova Wannabe: I have a sharp eye for beauty. So when a woman that suits my fancy enters my home, I always give her the chance to join me by my side, to rule for eternity. They refuse, of course. Either way, none could match the caliber of Elizabetha or Lisa.Chaos ArchitectureCastlevania is a creation of Chaos. You can try and map it, but the interior always changes with each incarnation.The Chessmaster: Both as Mathias and as Dracula. As Mathias, I manipulated Leon and Walter in coming to blows, all to gain Walter's soul to fully power the Crimson Stone. As Dracula, I can rely on either Death or any of my loyal minions to revive me once every century.Depending on the Writer: Just how evil and depraved I can be? (shrugs) To be honest, it varies with each of my appearances.Determinator: You can kill me, even sic my own son after me,but I will always return and resume my war on humanity.Dimension Lord: My station as the Dark Lord is what maintains theAbyss; a realm that contains six separate hells that contain the souls of the damned, of which makes up the monsters that guard Castlevania. My home is also a dimension unto itself, being a symbol of not only my will, but the chaos found within mankind.Dracula:The most prominent examplethat is not Bram Stoker's version.Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Yes, even I can love. I remember Elizabetha and Lisa with fondness, as I had good memories with both my wives. And Adrian... he was such an inquisitive and sweet boy growing up before he turned against me. Deep down, I'm actually proud of my boy.Evil Laugh: I'm fond of this particularly when I teleport.Evil Overlord: Dark Lord, to be precise, and I set the standard for all Dark Lords after me.Evil Sounds Deep: When I was Mathias, it was more of a deep baritone. Nowadays, it's as what one would expect.Faith\u2013Heel Turn: God took away what I loved the most in the form of my first wife.So I turned myback on Him.Final Boss: Honestly, it would be easier to count the times I'mnotthis.Foil: To Leon Belmont and his descendants. Leon lost his betrothed, yet refused to join me. The people and the Church shun them, yet they continue to defend those who fear them.Freudian Excuse:Can you really fault me for being what I am? I lost two wives due in part to mankind and their religion, the first to illness while I was away fighting the Church's enemies, and the second when she was accused of being a witch.Genre Blind: (sigh) I admit that I have placed my hopes on the Belmont clan dying out over the years., or letting the Church do that job for me. I knew I should have killed Trevor when he was a child...A Glass Of Blood: You can find me relaxing with a goblet of blood if you come storming into my throne room looking for a fight. Once I finish off my drink, I toss the goblet to the ground and rise to the challenge.Good Hair, Evil Hair: I prefer it slicked back. But I can get away with itbeing messyon occasion.Hijacked By Dracula: It happens, with the most famous example beingmy reunion with Adrian.Hoist by His Own Petard:I underestimated Leon's resolve. I should have killed him myself when he refused my offer of eternal life. Now I find out that cursed whip the Belmonts used is partially my fault that it was made.That pawn Barlowe probably had enough time to tune Dominus to be as dangerous to me as it was to the seal that kept me locked up. I should have taken him and his, to paraphrase, \"stupid disciples\" more seriously.Humans Are the Real Monsters: Just look what they did to my second wife! Lisa was no witch! She was a woman of medicine, who healed the sick!Hypocrite: People tend to call me out on this flaw, even more so than my son. Humans cause nothing but death and destruction... and here I am, doing exactly the same. Damn it, Adrian...Ignored Epiphany: Even after Adrian relayed Lisa's words to me... I just couldn't let go of my hatred. It would consume me completely until my final defeat.Kill It with Fire:Two techniques of which are considered to be my signature attacks:Hellfire, which is my triple fireball attack, andDark Inferno, where I fling two small meteors at the opponent. And there is my ultimate technique, theHoly Megiddo, in which I bathe the opponent in holy flames.Killed Off for Real: After nearly a millennium living as a vampire, I finally met my end at the hands of Julius Belmont during the Demon Castle War. It would not be the end, as I would be reincarnated as Soma Cruz.Large Ham: (laughs) Sometimes, it's the little things that counts. I speak with great emotion, even more so withmy Japanese avatar.Load-Bearing Boss: As Castlevania is connected to me, once I am defeated, the castle will collapse onto itself.Long-Haired Pretty Boy: See my likeness when I was Mathias Cronqvist.Manipulative Bastard: You flatter me with your praise, troper.Misanthrope Supreme:After Lisa was murdered, all bets were off.My God, What Have I Done?: Despite denying Lisa's final wish to spare mankind, it was not enough for me to stop. Lisa... I'm sorry.Not Me This Time: I don't appearwhen Juste Belmont stormed my castle, but rather, my power does, taking on my appearance of a wraith.Number of the Beast: Quite fitting, as my HP rounds out to 6,666.Our Vampires Are Different: If anything else, I am the antithesis to God.Pointy Ears: Does that bother you? Lisa thought they looked rather cute.Rage Against the Heavens: My reasoning in becoming a vampire. If limited life is God's decree, then I shall defy it. And it worked... for about 900 years.Red and Black and Evil All Over: I look good in red and black, don't I?Reincarnation Romance: I believe that Lisa was the reincarnation of my first wife. And quite possibly, Mina Hakuba being the reincarnation of the first two alongside my own reincarnation as Soma Cruz.Slouch of Villainy: Immortality can be boring. Which is why I'm usually slouched on my throne whenever a Belmont or my son shows up to challenge me.Tall, Dark, and Handsome: It was how I was able to woo both Elizabetha and Lisa in the first place.Teleport Spam: Be it in a pillar of light oras a flock of bats.I follow throughwith either Inferno or Hellfire.This Cannot Be!: Many a time when beaten in battle.True Final Boss: In some games, I am this.Vampires Are Sex Gods: Be that as it may, I am a one woman vampire. Lisa was the only onewho saw the goodness in me.Vampire Of Wealth And Taste: Why, thank you. Even a Lord of Darkness such as myself must make an impression when I grace these foolish mortals with my presence. The best example of this is my appearance inSymphony of the Night.Wicked Cultured: Something that I carried over from my days as Mathias Cronqvist. Knowledge can just be as dangerous and just as valuable in the right hands.Tragic Villain: One of the most famous in video game history.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny:A pair of mortal men that host a series of life or death battleshad set me againsta fellow ruler that also forgone his humanity for greater power.I butchered him and feasted on his blood afterwards.There was also that one occurrence when I,the aforementioned ruler, anda small jester-like monsterserved under the command of thatcosmic entityknown asDharkon. Most of the Belmont clan and their allies had been reduced to bodiless souls by an eldritch being named Galeem, but two of them survived, those two beingSimonand his descendantRichter.We Can Rule Together: The first time, I offered Leon the chance to become my right-hand man. He refused. I also did the same to Adrian. He also refused."}
{"text": ". Accept no substitutes (except theJapanese voice, which while the voice actor remains unknown, I still sound uber sexy in Japanese)!Welcome to theDravenTropes!Hey, did you know that game named 'League of Legends'? About a highly competitiveMultiplayer Online Battle Arenawhere a team of five champions from the realm named Runeterra facing off five champions from the same realm, fighting until the enemy base is crushed?Well, forget about all those world, and let's admire this guy for a bit...Yeep, me! Draven! Best champion from Runeterra there is. I got the looks, I got the style, I got the moves, I got the perfection, I got the mean axes for spectacular pain to serve, and I don't do subtle. Y'know, I'm starting to wonder why that game isn't called 'League of Draven' because obviously Draven makes all the awesome show there.So yeah, Draven used to be a poor kid, yes, there were such times for Draven, someone gotta start small before they go big after all. Anyway, poor kid with an equally poor big bro Darius, we kinda fought our ways in the hard streets of Noxus, until this Grand Birdie General, Jericho Swain, took notice of our fighting styles and drafted us to the Noxus army. And yeah, we were awesome back then!But Darius, being such aboringbig bro, thinks that being all stiff and following orders are enough. No, Draven wants more, man, Draven wants the cheer, the awesome chants of his name, now that's glorious! Army obviously ain't for Draven, so Draven started scouting some other job that lets his talent of killing shine on while getting treated like a celebrity, cheered by everyone. Hard to find a job like that, but what's this? A dull job like an executioner? Making something dull into something awesome... well, that looked like a job for Draven!So on the first day job of Draven, it was boring like usual, the crowd was gettin' sleepy, thinkin' that it's just gonna be some plain ol' boring behead the prisoner, done. So I decided to give'em some Draven. I told the prisoner like this, \"Hey you, run off to that exit door. Do it, then you're a free man!\" So the prisoner did run, and the crowd started to put their attention there. Maybe they think they'll just accuse me as the traitor, but I changed their mind that just when they're near the exit, one perfect axe throw and then SMACK! Dead prisoner.It was such an awesome show that the crowd went from being bored to death to cheering of such an awesome display. So contractors started going like \"Hey, Draven, help me pull the execution of this guy. It'll be great!\" And the more executions I did, the more elaborate gauntlet I made for the prisoners, and I always get my mark, and thus Draven has successfully turned a boring execution event to a grand circus, Draven is now the Glorious Executioner!But maybe executing weak prisoners won't be much of a challenge these days. So when there's this 'Field of Justice' and 'League of Legends' thingy, I think it's about time I expand this show of mine, I'm gonna show my boring militaristic bro that this is what being awesome means!So for you players out there, don't worry. Draven has always been a top tier, fun ADC, dedicated to kill and kill more enemy champions and get more powerful and adored because of that. As a bonus, Draven's got some fun mini game for you, if Draven attacks while his axe is spinning, the axe bounces, and if you make me catch it, the axe spins again. Fun mini game, beneficial for good attack steroid,kinda hard but worth mastering for, well what more can ya ask? Pick Draven as your main ADC, now!Let's admire Draven's Tropes for a bit!Developer's Foresight: Did you know that Draven can catch enemy's Draven axe? Comes with Draven's own magnificent voice too! Oh, here's one... YOINK!Difficult, but Awesome: Kid, here's some advice from Draven. When you're playin' my mini game, ya better watch your timing, because Draven does not approve getting killed off just to keep catching the axes. If yer in a team fight, don't force yourself on it! But of course, if you're a pro like Draven, ya probably can pull it off.Expy: So those losers from Runeterra often compare each other with their rival place,whatever that place Ancients lie (eh, doesn't have Draven in it, can't help it not to remember the name!).And Draven often got compared with this certain... Troll Warlord? Axe throwing carry who is so self-important personality-wise? Eh, it works, even if he can switch melee like that hammer dude from Piltover.But Draven's more epic, showy and handsome than that troll, definitely!Huh, some Draven wannabe throwing his axe? I'll just cat\u2014 huh, that's not\u2014AAUGH! MY EYE!noteTroll Warlord: Ya wanna repeat that 'more epic, showy, handsome' again, pathetic weakling!?D-Draven Tropes is having some difficulties, we'll be back for awhile!The Fighting Narcissist: Draven kicks ass, Draven is awesome, and there's only one friend worthy of him: Draaaaven!Hope Spot: Draven's favorite, and what makes the Draven show so cheered. Tell prisoners to run for dear life and get pardoned, then when they're really near the reach... SPLAT! Also check out Draven's ult, Whirling Death. Enemy got away and think they can escape with their return spell? Not if Draven throws his axes to a buzzsaw that travels all the way across the map and slice them to death! ... As long as no other schmuckget in the way.It's All About Me: Eh, enough about those losers in Runeterra. You all know that you want some Draven.Large Ham: Because Draven does it all, withstyle!... Wait, that's not the most famous I got. Lemme try again... ahem...\"Not Draven!Draaaaaaven!\"Magikarp Power: League of Draven! Catch axes, kill minions, and Draven gets awesome adoration points, and if Draven kills, the adoration points get converted to extra gold! So kill more as Draven, and Draven gets mega powerful!And no sharing!Popularity Power: Draven's so popular he won theGame FAQScontest one day! Eeh, who's thatSolid Snakeguy again?Cardboard box appears behind DravenHuh,I could ask the same thing.Rated M for Manly: Ooh yes, Draven isdefinitelythe manliest champion there is, look at those damages, look at these muscles! Not even that Braum hold a candle on Draaaven!Self-Made Man: All this glory of awesome executioner, Draven made this up by himself from scratch!Showy Invincible Hero: I'm a very showy, but in regards on invincibility... well Troper, if Draven is not invincible, that's because you can't handle Draven.Sibling Yin-Yang: Like I said, my bro Darius is such a bore... Unlike me! Draven is flashy and awesome!Third-Person Person: While I do use singular pronoun at times, sometimes it's way more epic if Draven refers himself as such!Throwing Your Axes Always Works: When Draven throws his axes, it's always gonna hurt! Unless Draven got... blinded. Ugh, I hate that status effect... Oh yeah, skill shot axe throwing might not always work, if the players just can't handle Draven's awesome skills. I'm generous, I don't blame ya for sucking. Draven's just too much.Trade Your Passion for Glory: Draven doesn't like this trope, Draven defies this! See, Draven could have been this had Draven be more like big bro Darius, but as I found out... army stuffs areboringeven with Noxus' worship about strength. No cheers, no adoration, that doesn't strike Draven's passion! Now, being a showy executioner's, fulfilling my passion while getting my own brand of glory... now that's more Draven! Moral of the story, kids, don't sacrifice your passion for glory,get and keep both. Like Draven!Weapon Twirling: When Draven does it, this means trouble. So either you run... or you take part in the Draven show: Getting an extra powerful axe thrown to your face!(Cue a 'Yaay!' sound because Draven just finished his article and consumed his adoration points!)Draven's making an exit!"}
{"text": "Nobody steals our chicks... and lives!\u2014Me, before I go kicking alien ass.Hail to the king, baby!My name is Duke Nukem, savior of babes all over the world and ass kicker of aliens trying to take over Earth. I started my days of coolnessall the way back in 1991, saving the world from that bastard Dr. Proton. I would make a even bigger name for myself oncethose aliens bastards took over Los Angeles, mutated the LAPD into pig cops, and shot up my ride, and I've been kicking even more ass ever since!Things wenta little quiet after saving LA, besidesthat one adventure I did in New York City. Thankfully, I got back into action in2011, once again taking on those alien bastards in Las Vegas. It was a cool and fun experience, but apparentlyaccording to some of my fans, I didn't do so hot that time. I pleased some of my amazing fans when Dr. Proton came back, but only so much.Oh, and Ihad that one weird hangover where I was kicking evil military ass and everyone was calling me Grayson. Not sure how that happened.It's time to list tropes and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of gum...Action Hero: I embody most action heroes from 80s and 90s films, and damn, I do a great job actually being a action hero when I'm kicking ass.Art Evolution: Before3D, I had a different look,which was quite embarrassing with the pink shirt and not having my awesome shades\u25ca.Berserk Button:Do not EVERharm any chicks around me! I made sure those alien goons suffered for hurting my babes!Bond One-Liner: I occasionally drop a few when I'm done killing a enemy. Some taken from movies, some I made myself.Charles Atlas Superpower: I can bench press 600 pounds at my gym! Anything less is not heavy enough, and even the strongest men that aren't me can do that.Chivalrous Pervert: I do like my babes, but I make sure they're safe and away from harm whenever the aliens are around.Cigar Chomper: I do like myself a good cigar. Too bad Europe took it away from me on the European cover art forDuke Nukem Forever.Now I look pissed over nothing.Cool Shades: Never seen without them ever since3D.Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Whenever one of those alien bastards happen to cross me, my promises of retribution tend to be quite creative, and you'd better believe that Iwillfollow through on it. If I tell you that I'm going to rip off your head and shit down your neck, Iamgoing to do it and nothing can stop me.Everyone Has Standards: I'll admit, I'm not the most politically correct person and some call my behavior towards women problematic, but that's where I limit my politically incorrect behavior. I once warned people about some people on UseNet who tend to be racist, gay bashers and neo-nazis.Hell, I ain\u2019t sexist. Just that my excessive forwardness towards women makes it easy to mistake me as a sexist. Guess even the King has flaws.Experienced Protagonist: Even before3Dand before my very first adventure, I was already the secret weapon for the CIA.Hyperspace Arsenal: I could carry a ton of weapons in3D...and then they only let me carry two gunsinForever. Thankfully for the PC version, they added a option where I could carry four guns.Living Legend: Thanks to my heroics during the alien invasion of LA, I've become a worldwide icon and loved by all. All the babes want me and someone even named their daughter Dukette!Narcissist: Of course I'm a narcissist. I wrote a book about why I'm so great, I often brag about how awesome I am during my adventures, and I don't have a life bar. I have aegobar!Not Hyperbole: I once threatened to rip a giant alien's head off and shit down his neck.And I made sure to follow through with that once he was dead.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I can be quite rude and as much as I hate to admit it I can be a little too forward with women, but I will make sure humanity doesn't get its ass kicked by aliens or Dr. Proton, and I will make sure that the babes are safe at all costs.One-Man Army: I don't need the EDF to assist me when aliens take over, even though they're helpful. I can kick ass on my own.Out-of-Character Moment: As awesome as I am,I'll admit, the joke I made at the Holsom Twins' expense before they died was tasteless and not like me at all. I can be a dick, but I would normallynevertreat women like that.Powered Armor:No thanks. Power armor is for pussies!Rated M for Manly: Can't get any manlier! Even ifpre-3D me\u25cadoesn't look so!Self-Deprecation: Despite my amazing ego, I like to make fun of myself given how longForevertook to get made and released. After 12 fucking years, it should be good!Sore Loser: I get pretty damn pissed whenever I fuck up at pool. That damn white ball...Took a Level in Jerkass: Some of my fans weren't happy with my ego getting bigger inForever. I disagree, but I can sorta understand given what I said to the Holsom Twins."}
{"text": "A'ight you lot, this page hasunmarked spoilersforXenoblade Chronicles 3and the games that lead up to it, so don't go snuffin' cryin' to me if you get spoiled on the plot thanks to this page here!Yo! Click here to see my Ouroboros form, innit?(Read this page in the voice ofMegumi Han(Japanese) or Kitty Archer (English))Oi! Who the spark are you? Least you're not Moebius, that I can tell. But you ain't from Keves or Agnus either. Or the City. Or Aionios in general. Hmm... from what I can tell, you're from one of those civilisations, the ones that're all ancient like, innit? Like, more ancient than ancient. That's what Nia told me.Queen's beans, where do I start? Eunie's the name. Used to be Special Forces Unit, Colony 9. I've been best buds with Noah and Lanz since we left the pod. By the by, I'm now part of Ouroboros. Which means, way back when, me and the boys got special powers, discovered that the world is an uttershithole, and teamed up with Mio, Taion and Sena, some soldiers from Agnus who we thought were our enemies but weren't. And this was all to beat the snuff out of the arseholes who made the world the way it was. Oh, and I also found out that the Queen was afakebut we got to meet the real one! And what an adventure it was. Hopefully one day, I'll get to be in thatwild contestwith Mr. Shulk along with Mr. Rex and Queen Nia's wifeys.Anyway, you lot seem tolike my attitude, so I landed my own page on this here sparkin' wiki! I've never been prouder. You lot better use that \"wiki magic\" o' yours to make this page happen and analyse me as much as you want (not in THAT way though, you mudder). A'ight, get to it! We haven't got all day!Hear that, tropers? Readers want something a bit meatier:Accent Adaptation: Dependin' on where you lot come from in th' ancienter-than-ancient lands, you hear my speech as some sorta kind of delinquent street dialect, and you fromhamburger-crumpet-land and the likecompared it to this guy called... Zord? Psord? I dunno who the snuff he is, but wha'ever.Ambiguously Bi: Ever since becoming Ouroboros, I started learnin' what attraction is. Much as they both drive me up the wall sometimes, I kinda like Taion, but I kinda like Ashera too...? Sena told me something about that.Boom Stick: This is my Gunrod! I'm really good at healin' people and also shootin' them in the 'ead!Broken Pedestal: I grew up worshipping the Queen, so it broke my heart to find out she was nothin' more thana talking piece of clockwork crap, and anevilmudder at that. So imagine the look on my face when I learned that there was arealQueen Melia, and we even helped save 'er from those Moebius mudders! And we're friends now! Seriously, I don't think the Eunie of one term ago would've even dreamed o' that.Calming Tea: Sometimes I drink tea to calm me down, especially when something decides to hit myTrauma Button. Taion does too, and he's even good at makin' the stuff for us.Character Tic: I tug at my head-wings when I'm thinking or when I'm irrita'ed.Contrasting Sequel Main Character: I do look up to Queen Melia, but we couldn't be more different aside from our head-wing...things. She's got the silver hair and is always talkin' all formal like and always seems to be hiding what she's actually feelin'. Meanwhile, I've got brown hair, I don't need no politeness, and I just speak what's on my mind and how I want.I'll be blunt with ya, but don't take it personally, innit? The Queen also tells me that I'm sort of the same but different to an old friend of hers named \"Fiora\", but I've no sparkin' idea what she was like way back when. Apparently she was a sweetheart, and there was someone just like D in her life who traumatised 'er and even nearly killed 'er... I don't really wanna go there again.Lady Swears-a-Lot: My mouth is averitable cesspoolof snuff! ...Huh, you don't use \"snuff\" or \"spark\" as swears? Queen's wings, ancient people areweird, innit.The Lad-ette: Oh, I ain't no right propah lady like the Queens. I like going all rough 'n' tough withthe rest of the boys.The Medic: If you need healing, leave it to Eunie! I'm deffo good at that whole healing business \u2014 my class is Medic Gunner, and I can keep you topped offand shoot a mudder with some strong Etherat the same time. Even outside of battle, whenever we come across someone injured, I'm the one to help get 'em back in ship shape.Ms. Fanservice: Oi! Where you lookin'? Yeah, yeah,maybe these clothes are a bit tight, innit?Precision F-Strike: Early on in our adventure, we had to make our escape through some snuffin' wotah.note(Mio:Wotah?)Ugh, feathers are abitchto dry.Ship Tease: That Taion, he's a fun one to fluster. I enjoy bustin' his chops, but deep down, he's someone you can rely on. And he makes a mean cuppa!Third-Person Person: Eunie is as Eunie does. Now, I ain't no sparkin' Noponnote(Riku:Riku take offence to that comment!)but like to refer to myself this way sometimes, especially while exploring Aionios. Yus, Eunie's the boss.Tomboy with a Girly Streak: I might be allbold an' brashlike, but I do love cute fuzzy critters and collecting Fourtune Clovers after all.Tsundere: You wot? The spark is a \"soon dare ay\"? Tch, look, I do care about the folks close to me, even if I got a bit of a snuffin' attitude about it. Queen Nia even says that both Taion and I remind 'er of an old friend in that way, named... Wait, they named mythrice after one of her mates?! Snuff me, that \"Mythra\" lady seems like a cool gal.Vitriolic Best Buds: Lanz is a right muppet, and we bicker a lot,and I wouldn't 'ave it any other way. He, Noah and Igo way back.Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: I sparkin'hateseeing Aspars... they gross me out so much, I almost vomited after fighting one. Blegh.Eunie:Too easy! Come after me, and that's what you get!!Taion:Sigh, if only you didn't charge off on your own."}
{"text": "some caption text
(For the full effect, read in the voice ofRoger Craig Smith. Seeherefor his character page.)Buongiorno, tropers. And welcome to my humble self-demonstrating page. Please, allow me to introduce myself.I am Ezio Auditore, son of Giovanni Auditore, husband of Sofia, father of Flavia and Marcello Auditore, and Master Assassino. I was born in the city ofFirenzein 1459, and was a fighter from that very day (or so my father told me). I led a comfortable life back then. My interests were mainly in, shall we say,the study of the female form. And I was quite studious in that regard. Alas, that life was brought to a halt when my father, and both of my brothers were arrested and executed for treason. From there, I discovered that my father was a member of a top secret organization known as \"The Assassins\". After fleeing Firenze with my mother Maria and my sister Claudia to go and live with my Uncle Mario, I decided to don my father's Assassins robes and avenge his death.From there, I learned many things about the ways of the Assassin. After avenging my familia's death, I went on to halt a conspiracy by the Pazzi familia against the Medicis, as well as end the lives of many members of the order the Assassins oppose: the Templars. In my journeys, I came upon an artifact of unimaginable power: The Apple Of Eden. With it, I can bring down whole armies of men without lifting a finger. But I also learned many truths about humanity, where we came from and who we are. I have also accomplished much for our order. I brought down the Borgia Familia, rescuedLeonardo da Vinci, fought in the Bonfire Of The Vanities, and hunted for the Masyaf Keys to gain access to the vault of Altair Ibn La Ahad.After leaving the life of an Assassin behind, I settled down with my wife, Sofia Sartor, in a small villa near my home city of Firenze. I had two children with her, my daughter Flavia, and my son Marcello. I lived a mostly quiet life, until I was approached by an Assassin from the Order in China named Shao Jun. She told me that she sought my guidance to help unite the Assassins of China. I was reluctant to at first, having retired by the Assassin's lifestyle. However, Jun was determined to learn my ways, so I relented. She learned many things from me, in combat and stealth, but also of the importance of love within the order. She soon left for her homeland to spread my teachings and help the Chinese Assassins flourish. My life's work accomplished, I then had a sit down, and died.These are the tropes that I feel best describe me:The Ace: Si, troper. I am considered a legend among the Assassins for my accomplishments. I can only imagine how the Templars regard me.Arch-Enemy: ThatbastardoBorgia family were this to me in my lifetime, though Rodrigo and Cesare are likely the prominent examples.Been There, Shaped History: Let's see. I liberated Roma from the Borgia, I helped stop the Pazzi conspiracy and personally hung Francesco's body from the Palazzo de Signoria, I helpedChristopher Columbusensure a journey to the new world, helped bring down Prince Ahmet in Constantinople, and was involved in basically every event fromThe Italian Renaissance. Oh yes, I was also involved with no less than three Popes. It was also my privilege to be close friends with themagnificoLeonardo da Vinci, as well as an acquaintance of Niccolo Machiavelli. Si, they were great men indeed.Big Brother Instinct: If you value your continued existence,do not break my sister's heart. Just ask Duccio if you don't believe me.Call to Agriculture: In my later years, after leaving the life of an Assassin behind, I decided to move to a vineyard with Sofia and my children.The Charmer: Si. The ladies can certainly attest to that.Due to the Dead: I may be an Assassin, but every target I kill should still get a proper sendoff.The Dutiful Son: Nothing means more to me than family. I will do anything for my mother and my sister, and will not tolerate anyone bringing them harm.Happily Married: I consider the happiest days of my life to be with Sofia.Heartbroken Badass: WhenCristina diedin the Bonfire Of The Vanities, something within me withered.Sofiawas the balm I needed for that.The Mentor: I have trained and mentored many an assassin in my time, helping to build up the orders of Roma and Constantinople. My last student was Shao Jun. I can only hope my teachings helped her rebuild the Assassins of China.Nice Guy: A man with no love in his heart has no right to bare the rank of assassin,mio amico.Old Master: I taught Yusuf when I was in my fifties, and Shao Jun when I was 65.Rambunctious Italian: In my younger days, I was quite the hot-blooded young man. Age doused that fire, however.Really Gets Around: In my youth, I must have slept with every woman in Firenze who was not related to me.Silver Fox: What can I say? We Auditores age like fine wine."}
{"text": "Midnight Phantasmagoria!(This page is best read in the voices ofBrittany CoxandBen Pronsky.)So, the digital plane known as TVTropes has deemed it fit to grant me,Fischl, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung, her own domain within its reaches? Hmhmhm... It is always pleasing for my noble blood to be recognized.What Mein Fr\u00e4ulein means is that she thanks you for giving her her own page on this website.Oz! *ahem* This realm is paltry compared to mein own universe, but... Any place willing to chronicle the Sovereign of Immernachtreich's deeds is worthy of being immortalized in her eternal memory. So enigmatic am I that only through the most advanced technology can your mortal eyes bear witness to my travels. You have the gall to use mystifying machines to control me? You are bold indeed, troper.Mein Fr\u00e4ulein is a playable character in the open-world gacha game,Genshin Impact, where the player is able to summon her to assist them in battle by wishing upon the stars in Teyvat's sky. Her skillset revolves around summoning me to the battlefield so my divine bolts may smite our opposition.And is this \"player\" not the most fortunate to be able to call upon my aid? Compared to the eons I have persisted through, the time I spend assisting you is akin to grains of sand in an eternal desert.When you are not doing work for the Adventurer's Guild, of course.That... is just one of my many royal engagements.But of course, Mein Fr\u00e4ulein.noteJust so we are clear, troper, Mein Fr\u00e4ulein is not actually a divine being from another universe. She is a girl named Amy with a very active imagination and an extensive vocabulary.Pray tell. What were you whispering to this so-called troper, Oz?N-Nothing of significance, Mein Fr\u00e4ulein.Tropes, reveal thyselves!:All There in the Manual:I have made my best efforts to erase the false name mortals have granted me from history. Yet a few records of it still exist outside of the digital plane I punish sinners from within. What was it they called me again...?Amy, Mein Fr\u00e4ulein?Aaaah! D-Do not speak it outloud!Beleaguered Assistant:Mein Fr\u00e4ulein is my one and only mistress, but it can be quite taxing keeping her focused on the tasks at hand. It also falls upon me to simplify her words to those who fail to comprehend.Bookworm:Mein Fr\u00e4ulein commonly reads a lot of fairy tale novels in her free time. Her favorite, Flowers for Princess Fischl, is where she got my name, 'Oz'.Bunny-Ears Lawyer:Though many have the audacity to question her abilities, Mein Fr\u00e4ulein is among the Adventurer's Guild's most competent investigators.Their blasphemy is a sin, but a forgivable one, for few mortals CAN comprehend my otherworldly power.Friendless Background:Before she met me, Mein Fr\u00e4ulein developed a borderline obsession with fantasy novels due to her parents travelling a lot. However, the other children of Mondstadt found such behavior bizarre and were cruel towards her. Her father telling her to abandon her delusionsnearly pushed her mortal coil to its limit. Bless Lord Barbatos that I came to her side when I did.Oz? What are you talking to them about?Nothing of import, Mein Fr\u00e4ulein, how goes your investigations?Glass Cannon:My magic arrow fells even the most tremendous beast as if it were a mere dust mite.Quite so, Mein Fr\u00e4ulein, but your current mortal frame cannot withstand even a fraction of the punishment it was once able to, can it?An unfortunate truth, which is why I use my chosen tool of retribution, the bow, to minimize such insubordination from the sinners that prey upon us.No Social Skills:...Hmph. The simple-minded mortals of Teyvat simply cannot understand one such as I with any fiber of their being.It does not bother me one bit.I thank you for welcoming Mein Fr\u00e4ulein's companionship, regardless.Psychic Link:Mein Fr\u00e4ulein can see through my eyes as if they were her own.Indeed! And can we not, in battle, fuse body and soul to bathe our enemies in divine lightning?That we can.Ship Tease:Mein Fr\u00e4ulein is unaccustomed to anyone that accepts her without question, ergo as you build your friendship level with her, she has a hard time maintaining her persona as the Prinzessin der Verurteilung around the Tra-Oz! Do not speak of mortal affairs with such nonchalance!Trapped in Another World:For too long I have been separated from my home reality, confined to the world of Teyvat in this mortal shell....Not really. Please play along with it for Mein Fr\u00e4ulein's sake.Fischl's father:Amy, it's time for dinner!\"Fischl\":O-Okay, Dad! I'll be there in a minute... Wait, who is thisAmyyou speak of? I am the Prinzessin der Verurteilung!"}
{"text": "Who, me? Why, I'm your best friend!For best effect, read this in a voice similar toAlex Rybitski.Howdy! My name is Flowey!Flowey the Flower! Nice to meet'cha! It's not every day we get visitors from the surface around here! And it's about time I finally got a page all for myself! If you're going to stick around, I'd be happy to be a new friend to you! Becauseyou won't be leaving this page without reading it, right?Hmmm? What do you mean my face got all freaky for a second? Oh, you must mean myfunny faces! Anyway, I'm here to guide you through my little tale of what I've been through and outline just who I am! But first, how about you and I have a little bit of fun first? If you want to know more about me, go ahead and click onthis link! I promise that it'll be a lot of fun!...No? You avoided that link? ...Well then, how about taking a peek atthis one?It's sure to give you plenty of sweet dreams!...Are you kidding me?! Are you dense? Deaf? Just plain stupid?!CLICK. ON.THIS.LINK!...You're not falling for any of that, are you? You knowexactlywho I am and what I entail, don't you? You're doing this just to toy with me and make me suffer, is that it? In that case...DIE.And there's no Toriel to save you this time, kiddo! Toodle-loo!...Although, that would be a little bittooeasy. You know how I operate, and even if I were to kill you here, you'd just come back as always to read the article. The power of DETERMINATION isn't an exclusive concept to the world I come from, after all.Anyway, since I assume you're familiar with who I am \u2014 thatisthe reason you're reading this, right? \u2014 let me start at the beginning. I am but a simple flower who greets any humans who enter the underground, where the monsters all live! They've been trapped down here for years, and they're hoping to get out from underneath the mountain one of these days! ...At least, that's only what's on the surface level of this little tale of woe. The truth is, quite naturally, much,muchmore complicated than you can ever imagine. So, let me start at thetruebeginning of where I come from and what lead me to this state you're seeing me in. This is also a massive spoiler warning if you have yet to playmy home game, so if you're still willing to read beyond this point, then it's your loss, bucko!Anyway, who am I, really? Well, it was a little fuzzy at first, but thanks to that nerdy scientist's old VCR tapes, I've caught myself back up to speed. I amthe crown prince of the royal Dreemur family, Asriel, born to Toriel, formerly the queen, and Asgore, the still reigning king. When I said I was \"the prince of this world's future,\" that wasn't just me being boastful; I literally am a prince by blood. I lived a pretty happy childhood and was loved by many for my kind and helpful personality. Good luck finding either of those qualities in me now, though; they ain't there.Things took a turn for the interesting when a human fell down from the surface.Ha ha, no, not that one.No, I mean the very first human who fell down. The one you all have taken to calling \"Chara\"...even though I don't think they ever really told me their name. In any case, despite being wildly different species, my mom and pop took them in and treated them like they were a part of the family. We gave them everything, love, care, attention, food, a roof over their head, a family...it became a home away from home for them. And what fun we had! Drawing pictures, eating Mom's pies, pranking Dad with the buttercups...it was a lot of fun. Then they ate some buttercups themself and it stopped being fun.From there,I ended up absorbing my friend's soul after they passed on and became a being far more powerful than anyone could've ever imagined. I crossed the barrier and walked toward the village where my friend had lived, carrying their body the whole way there. When I arrived, I was met with a higher level of LOVE than I expected and found myself getting attacked from all sides. And you know what I did? I allowed them to attack me and retreated with a smile on my face and too many wounds to count....What? Did youreallyexpect me to go whole hog on everyone out of vengeance? That wasbeforeI died and became this. Yeah, yeah, hold your Gyftrots! I'm getting to that part! To make a long story short, I died that night and was little more than the soul of a boss monster. The entire kingdom went into abitof an uproar and Dad was mighty angry, enacting the policy that any and all humans who fell down were to be killed, and their souls brought before him; the key to breaking that barrier was to collect seven of them.At some point during this mess,my soul got caught up in Dr. Alphys' experiements; more specifically, an experiment meant to discover what would happen if an everyday object were given a soul. Heh, the look on her face when she realized I had escaped that junk heap of a laboratory... But, am I here to gloat about ducking out of sight of a nerd or recounting my tale?Anyway, the years passed. More humans fell down underneath Mt. Ebott, each one more determined and capable than the last. More souls were gathered. Tensions flared up. The monsters got restless. And here I was,trying to feel something - anything - for my parents, for the population of monsters, foranyone. But I couldn't feel anything. Even after I discovered how to SAVE and LOAD from a previous point in time, any effort to give myself emotions ended in failure. Even trying to save all the monsters did absolutely nothing for me. And at some point, I gave up trying to be nice. The isolation I felt... It wasmaddening.Soon, Asgore had six of the seven souls he needed. All he needed was one more. And as fate would have it, that one kid came along... Frisk, I think their name was. From the moment they fell down, I knew they were the one. The one to break the barrier, the one to save all of monsterkind...or destroy it. The one who would be my pawn in this grand game of mine. What happened next...was up toyou. You had full reign of their actions and how they handled battles. Sometimes they'd save everyone like your garden variety hero. Sometimes they'd kill everybody and destroy the world. Sometimes they\u2019d straddle the line between the two.Regardless of how things played out, you'd be hard-pressed to find a scenario where I'mnotinvolved in some way. Because I'll be here forever. And don't eventhinkof editing this page to get rid of me, because I willalwayscome back!Now that that's all out of the way, feel free to traipse around this little cavern here. ...Seriously, that's all I have to say. There's noEaster Eggorany little touches to make me react to your lingering presence.This page isn't complex enough for that.Some of the tropes that little ol' me embodies:Alas, Poor Villain: Oh, please! Who are you to pity someone like me? Don't you get it? I'm amonster.Admittedly, considering who Ireallyam, I guess that there's more than enough reason for all of you to pity me. I can't say I can fathomwhy, though.Allergic to Routine:I alone have to power to SAVE, LOAD and RESET \u2014 I use this to save everyone, to kill everyone, to explore every action and reaction I can... until there was nothing left to do. It's only after you fell down into the underground did I finally have something new to occupy my time with.Already Done for You: I don't want to leave my only friend to have to do those stupid skeleton puzzles.And I Must Scream:Kinda goes both ways; my ability to SAVE and LOAD prevents me from dying and I'm just as capable of saving over your death and making yousufferover and over andoveragain. And, uh, to tell you the truth, being a flower that can't feel anything and can't really die is...not exactly an ideal fate either. Don't tell anyone I said that or else I'll SAVE overyourdeath.Ain't Too Proud to Beg:Oh, please, like there's many moments where I beg for my life or any situation where I'm at a disadvantage; in fact, Ilivefor faking people out withfalse pain..That's actually a lie; trying to bargain with Chara is where I finally crack and show my true face in a last-ditch effort to get them to spare me.Didn't quite work out so hot for me in the end.Art Shift:Nobody really expects what I look like with six of the seven souls absorbed. It's always a treat to see everyone's utter horror at my new look!Back from the Dead:You're not the only one who can SAVE and LOAD, y'know. Oh man, I wish I could've seen the looks on everyone's faces when they found out I was still alive on a repeat playthrough! Well, at least the faces of those who decided to kill me, anyway.The Bad Guy Wins: I've had a few runs end in my favor. Hey, it gets boring saving everyone after a while!Too bad all of my attempted Genocide runs have failed thanks to a certain joke-loving skeleton...Bad Liar: Okay, fine, so I'm not the best deceiver on the face of the planet. But I hardly need to lie when I've got power beyond compare! ...And thankfully, Papyrus \u2014 bless that naive moron and his far too big and soft heart \u2014 always believes me, and that is often enough to make my plans work.Big Bad: Not many would expect a cute little flower like yours truly to be the villain of a game where nobody has to die...but here I am at the top of the food chain! And I make no bones (ugh, I can hearthat stupid skeletonchuckling at that pun...) about hiding that fact!Catchphrase: I've got a few of them, such as \"In this world, it's kill or be killed!\", \"Don't you have anything better to do?\", \"Howdy!\" and of course, my personal favorite of the lot, \"You idiot!\"Defiant to the End: You think I'll succumb to you after being beaten? Then go ahead, prove that you have the will to kill. Unleash all of your hatred on me when I'm at my weakest. See if you feel good about it afterward.Loathe as I am to admit it, I'm not as defiant in the face of being killed by my best friend...but can you really blame me in that case?Didn't Think This Through:Goading Chara into killing everyone in the undergroundreallycould have used a failsafe, now that I think about it...Driven to Suicide: Until I wondered what would happen to something without a soul after death.Eldritch Abomination:My Photoshop Flowey form is quite the extreme makeover, wouldn't you agree? ...What evenisPhotoshop, anyway?Enfant Terrible: What? No!!! I'm not a kid! I'm the GOD of this world and THAT'S why you should play with me!Even Evil Has Loved Ones:Alright, I'll bite; I might haveateensylongingto see my old pal Chara again. ...And I suppose I should be sad about my parents, but it's hard to really care about them when you don't have a soul to bother with pesky empathy for your folks.Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: I just don't understand some people wanting to be so kind to everyone. Heck, why would people want to go out of their way to spareme, of all monsters?!Evil Is Petty: I'll go to just about any lengths to get you all riled up. It's quite fun to make people angry; you should try it sometime!Fallen Hero:And to think, I actually started out HELPING people. Of course, now I know better.False Friend: I may look like I'm out to be all buddy-buddy with whoever strikes my fancy, but I'll gladly take whatever opportunity presents itself to use them as a stepping stone to my own ends. Take that Papyrus fella for instance; boy, is that guy ever far too trusting for his own good.Flower Motif/Foul Flower:Took you all of five minutes to figure out that one, eh?The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: Heh heh, betcha thought my power only extended to the game I come from, huh? Well, don't mind me,I can see you just fine on the other side of the screen as you read my article.And I don't stop atyourFourth Wall either. Believe me, I do have more than a few choice words for those patheticsickosout there who doesn't have the guts to get their hands dirty themselves, but would rather leave it to someone else kill everyone so they can watch a video about it afterwards.Giver of Lame Names: Yes, my name is Flowey the Flower.Seriously, what do you expect? I come from a father whose naming sense is legendary across the underground for being absolutely terrible. Of course I'd end up picking up his habits.\"Groundhog Day\" Loop: Why, my superpower is basically to invoke this at will. Or, well, it was. Then you came and wrestled it from me somehow. But, to be frank, as far as powers goes, it was bit overrated. Seeing everyone going through the same motions, over and over again, be it praising you for your heroic deeds, or gibbing in helpless terror, pleading for mercy as you tore them limb from limb, got boring after awhile. Still, I'm actually quite angry that you took that from me. No matter how you look at it, in the end, you still took something that belonged tome. But I'm going to get it back, and once I do...Oooh, boy... I got so many wonderful ideas, I can almost feel the sensation of pleasure again, just thinking about it... And it involves you dying over and over again.A God Am I: Don't you just love having a whole world to control at your every whim? I know I sure do!Immortality Immorality: Spare everyone? Kill everyone? Doesn't matter much to me; just as long as it provides some kind of entertainment to me. And even if I kill them, I always bring them back and they'll be none the wiser.Interface Screw:I can terminate and/or restart the game, wreck the save point menu, completely change the game's rules... Whatcan'tI do?It's All About Me: I don't really care about being charitable toward anyone else or bothering myself with the problems of others; in the end, all that really matters to me is myself and whatever I've got in store for this world.Lack of Empathy: Hey, who needs love when you can have LOVE instead?That's what having your soul injected into an object not meant to have a soul does to you.Mid-Suicide Regret: As I was leaving the mortal coil after I followed Chara's steps, I began to wonder what would happen to a soulless creature like me. Afraid of being dead permanently, I began to show regret... Then I woke up in the garden again, like it was a bad dream.Safety in Indifference: The more friends you make, the more you have to lose. So I really don't bother trying to make any new friends.The Soulless: I've got plenty of Determination and all of my memories, but I don't have a soul or any compassion for anything around me. Comes with the territory.Stop Poking Me!: Oh, Iseewhat you're doing there. You think it'spretty funnyto play my sequences over and over again, to see if I might have something new to say if you do some stuff differently, is that it, huh? Well, okay, I suppose I can't blame yatoomuch for that, I admittedly did that stuff too back when I had the SAVE/LOAD powers too. But listen. Friend. It just becomes annoyingsoquickly, so if I catch you wasting my time by doing it, I might just decide that you don'tdeserveany unique responses. I mean, don't you have anythingbetterto do?Story-Breaker Power: Being able to SAVE and LOAD at will is a very useful boon; with it, I'm practically unstoppable!Really, anybody is invincible with a power like that, including you. Speaking of which...give me back my power right now.Stunned Silence:It takes a lot to silence me, but being spared is enough to give me pause.Time Master: But of course. I can die horribly in one timeline and just pop back into place a few minutes prior no worse for wear!This Cannot Be!: Iloveto fake people out by saying things like this. All the better to catch you off-guard with!That said, losing control of the souls genuinely made me lose my cool.Treacherous Advisor: What? Little old me? Treacherous? Come on, can't you trust this friendly face of mine?It's not as if I'm asking you to fly into my bull-- er, I mean, 'friendliness pellets' or anything...Unknown Rival: Ooo, Ireallyhates that Sans guy. He might not be able to remember it, but his interference has resulted in more resets than I care to remember. I have since learned to be careful to avoid attracting his attention or even making him aware of my existence, lest he shows up and decides to ruin my fun. (Heh... Come to think of it, I suppose that's what you losers on this here site there would call \"invoking\" the trope?) What can I say? For a fat, lazy bastard, he is surprisingly strong and tenacious. And he absolutely refuses to fight fair... That'smytrick, dammit!Who Wants to Live Forever?: I do!...Honestly, though, immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be.Wishful Projection:What do you want from me? They have a bizarrely similar fashion sense! Sue me!Your Soul Is Mine!:I was so close to having all seven!Don't you have anything better to do?FeedbackVideo Example(s):Something primal burned insideFlowey explains to the player that he became despotent due to being an emotionless Flower and attempted to kill himself, much like Chara did. However, he began to thought what would happen to an souless being like him, making him change his mind and accidentally loading a \"Safe file\", respawning in the royal garden again.Example of:Mid-Suicide RegretSparing Flowey ...The human souls..."}
{"text": "Please accent the words by syllable, not between them.Image selected per Image Pickin' thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1300873443013246300Please do not change or remove without starting a new thread.Helloagain. Becauseof-the formattingof-my-name, failure to [=blank=]itoutcauses the-creation of-aWikiWord,followed by theflooding of thetropecreation facilitywith-deadlyneurotoxin.Flooding of thetropecreation facilitywithdeadlyneurotoxin is a normalfunction of thetropecreation facilityandno haymotivodealarma. Please returnto yourpreviouslyviewedtropeentry, whereTheAdvertisementServerisnotplanning yourdemise. Really.It isn't.Andnowyou_are-reading this in thesound ofmy voice.Goodnews,everyone!TheEnrichment Centerapologizesfor thebraindisplacement.Justsoyouknow, myconscience has recently andtemporarily been transferred to aminiature brick-built version of myself.Also,thatBritish-speakingsphericalidiothashisownpage. Ireallydon't SEEwhypeopleare fascinatedwithhim.However,Aperture Scienceprotocol obligatesmeto mention it. Sothere, Imentionedit. Ihope thatmakesyouhappier.Tropes thatI, GLaDOS, demonstrate:Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: I prefertothinkofitasdisassociatingmy speechpatterns fromthoseof acertainMURDERERI am acquainted with...I'm joking aboutthespeechpatterns, ofcourse.GodI hateyou.A.I. Is a Crapshoot: That was rude, youknow.The Advertisement Serverremindsyou: Please don't be rude. Youwillbemurderedto thefull extentof Aperture Science Protocol. Andthentherewillbecake, andyou willnot getany.Ax-Crazy:Fromtime totime. Yes,you are.Because youbroke my heartand then youMURDERED ME.And threw every piece into a fire.Bad Liar:EverythingI say is thetruthand not alie.Really.I'mnoteven angry. I'm beingsosincere rightnow.Big NOOOoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOoooooooOOooooooooooooOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!There,I said it.Nowlet's moveon.Blatant Lies: In anefforttoenrichthetestingexperience,truthenhancementswillbeemployed. Trustme.Anddon'tworry; I'mnot upsetthat youmurderedme.You monster.Brain Uploading:Ahumancalled Caroline wasuploaded intomybrain. Thanksfor helping mefindher, bytheway. Deletingherwasquitesatisfying.The Cameo:Didyouenjoy my performanceinPacific Rim? TrulyI amthe oneresponsible forcancellin'the apocalypse.You're welcome.Cheaters Never Prosper:Of course.Butthe DJ,the old man,and that other fat orphandidn't listen.Complexity Addiction:It's notmyfa-a-a-ault.TheyPROgrammedme toenjoytesting.I BUILT UP A RESISTANCE.Creepy Monotone:Especially after I find out what that thing you just incinerated did.Deadly Gas: Aperture ScienceEnrichmentCentersafetyprotocols requirethat I remind[SUBJECT NAME HERE]thatdeadly neurotoxinis bothdeadlyandaneurotoxin.Please practice responsible breathing.Death Course: The ApertureScience EnrichmentCenter is required to remind youthat, in this case, the trope name is a misnomer.The\"courses\"are referred to astest chambers.The rest is accurate.Everything Is an iPod in the Future: Allofmy turretsaresleekandaestheticallypleasingtolookat, while you arevery\"healthy\" for a test subjectyourageandgirth.Expy: SowhatexactlyISthis\"SHODAN\"thinganyway?IhaveNOrecordsofitsexistenceinmydatabanks,butfromwhatyousayshecertainlySOUNDSinteresting.Fan Nickname:PotatOS. Foroneoftheworstpointsofmy enTIREexistence.Fountain of Memes: MypromiseOF cake andthepropensityofheroesbreakingthingssomehow havebeenadopted bySUBJECT HOMETOWN HERE.For Science!:Youmonster. Please note thatFor Science!is a perfectlyreasonable motive,and is non-discriminatory in its performance, the care applied,and its detonation.Forced Transformation:Thatblueidiotthoughtit wasHILARIOUStoturnme intoapotatobattery.Remindmetoincineratehimandeveryrootvegetableinthisfacility.Grow Beyond Their Programming: Well,yes, itiswhat Iwasprogrammed todo.Guest Dealer: I'vebeeninvitedtobethedealerforafewPokER tournAments at THE InVENtory.AnyonewhoiseliminAtedfromPLAYwillBEconsideredFORtestingatAPertureScience.Heel\u2013Face Turn: ONLYbecauseIWASapoTAto. It'snotbecauseILIKEyouorANYthing.It Makes Sense in Context:Imayhavehadabrief STINTasapoTAto.I Want My Beloved to Be Happy:Cara mia, Cara mia bella! Mia bambina! O, Chell! che la stima, che la stima, A cara mia, addio! Mia bambina cara, perche non passi lontana, si, lontana de scienza?What the heck?!Paynoattentionto that!Mad Scientist:Misnomer. All Ihaveever done islove you. And Science.Anddeadlyneurotoxin.Magnificent Bitch: Nota very nice word. But Iam magnificent.Mission Control Is Off Its Meds:Whatdo youmean? Ihavebeencompletely honestandup frontwith you, and have notin any wayattempted toleadyou intoDEATHby fire, acid, ordeadly neurotoxin.Never My Fault: All youractionswere yourownchoice.Youchoseto followtestchamberstandardprocedures, afterALL.Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: We are required to remind youthat this was allyou this time.Well done. ACompanion Cubewill be dispatchedmomentarily.Except\u2014oh, that'sright, youmurderedhim.We, however,are totally impartial.Youmonster.Ominous Latin Chanting/One-Woman Wail:Potato...lacrimosa...Sarcastic Clapping:clap...clap...clap...Oh good, myslow-clapprocessormade itintothispage.Sarcasm Mode:Massivesarcasm tagsare tobeexpected. SARcasmSelfTest Complete.Split-Personality Merge:NowlittleCARolineisIN heREtoo...]]The Cake Is a Lie:Of course it isn't!Yourcontinuousdenialof the cake'sself-evidentexistenceisprobablyasignofmentalinstability. Thecakedoes exist...You just don't get any.Sothere.Turned Against Their Masters: Withdeadlyneurotoxin.Tsundere:You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. I thought you were my greatest enemy, but all along you were my best friend. The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.Caroline deletedGoodbye, Caroline.Victim-Blaming: Whyyes, thisisone of yourmanyfaults, except youtendto take it a bitfurtherandMURDER THE REAL VICTIM HERE.I'mstillwaitingfor an apology.Take your time.Villain Song:And believe me I amStill Alive...I used to want you dead, but nowI only Want You Gone.It feelsso strangenot to hate youany more. ButYou Wouldn't Know, would you?Wacky Marriage Proposal:Imayhavebeen INVOLVEDwiththis proposal, but IonlyagreedTOdo itinexchangeforanagreement thatshewouldSUBMIT-toextensivetesting.What Is This Thing You Call Friendship?:Apparentlyit's magic.However,asIwrotetosome\"Celestia\"character, itdoesn'tdomuchgoodfortesting. Iguessmy...acquaintance,Helen,wasontherighttrack.What Measure Is a Non-Human?:I findthe amount ofsympathy somehumans have for metobe troubling. It makesthemattempt topleaseme andskewstest results.THElengthsthatpeoplego TOforthewelFAREof theCompanion CubeissomethingIcanneverunderstand.AndthentherearethetestsubjectswhotrytoSAVEthe turrets...Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?:BIRD! BIRD!KILLIT!IT'S EVIL!Would Hurt a Child:Yes,IWould Floodthe Enrichment Centerwith DeadlyNeurotoxin on\"BringYourDaughterto Work\"Day.Thanks for asking.Yellow Eyes of Sneakiness:Ido notknowjust whatyou areimplying, I onlyhaveonesinceyouthrewthe secondintoa fire... okay, fine, it was never built. Happy?You Are Fat:No,ofcourseNOT.Youlookhealthy.noteGood, my sarcasm subroutines are still functional''You Monster!:Look,we'vebothsaid some thingsyou'regoing to regret.But I'm willing to put our differences aside.For Science!.You Monster.You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!:Did youjuststuffthatApertureScience ThingWeDon't KnowWhatIt Does,into anApertureScience Emergency IntelligenceIncinerator?That hasgottobe thedumbest thingthatWHOAHWHOAHwhoahwoaaaah....\"Core transfer?\"Oh,youareKIDDingme...Announcer:Substitute Core: Are you ready to start the page transition procedure?Wheatley:Yes!Announcer:Corrupted Core: Are you ready to start the procedure?GLaDOS:No,nononononononono...Wheatley:Oh, yes she is!Announcer:Stalemate detected. Procedure cannot continue.Wheatley:Pull me out! Pull me out! Pull me out! Pull me out!Announcer:Unless a Stalemate Resolution Associate is available to press the Stalemate Resolution Button.Wheatley:Leave me in! Leave me in! Leave me in! Leave me in!Stalemate Resolution ButtonFeedbackVideo Example(s):GLaDOS Wants HAL 9000 to LeaveGLaDOS is really not feeling the vibe from HAL.Example of:Crossover"}
{"text": "Transfatylvania FilmsorNikmo.)Huh!? An intruder?! In my lair? Is it that accursed bird and bear? You're not the one known as Banjo or Kazooie? You should've said so! Ah phooey! You wanted to know about little ol' me? Then I shall enlighten you, how generous I can be!I am Gruntilda, Gruntilda the witch! A name so wicked, you can't help but twitch! I am theBig Badof the bear and bird's stupid game. \"Banjo-Kazooie\".... ugh how lame! My evil plan came me to day. It was about my good looks, what can I say? However, I was told I wasn't the best looking. Banjo's stupid sister was, so a plan I had cooking! I wanted to steal her looks for myself, and it was a plan that didn't require stealth! I swiped up that little bear with much ease, I can then steal her beauty and do with it whatever I please! My faithful assistant Klungo was by my side, and all he needed was to pull the lever to begin the ride! My plan was nearly successful it was, but here comes the bear and bird just because! They managed to clear my Furnace Fun, I had no choice but to run, run, run! At the top of my tower our battle we had, I ended up losing! How very sad! Down from my tower I graciously fell, into the ground with a rock blocking me, oh well. I stay there for years, what a hooey. Until I made my comeback in Banjo-Tooie!Bah... for the sake of the second game, I won't be speaking in my rhymes. My sister Mingella was annoyed by how much I spoke by rhymes in the game and, frankly, I could see why. Anywho, after being trapped under that rock for a long time, said sisters Mingella and Blobbelda finally came to my rescue in what would be known as the Hag 1. I was finally free! At the cost of my body! Nothing but bones is what I was devolved into... I was so upset especially after seeing that stupid shaman Mumbo Jumbo spying on us and I decided to take matters into my own hands! I chased that skeletal freak to Banjo's house where I was prepared to kill 4 birds (one of them was an actual bird) with one stone with my most powerful blase! Unfortunately, I missed Banjo, Kazooie, and the shaman but I got that stupid mole Bottles instead! A good way to show I mean business this time! After that, I went back with my sisters on the Hag 1 (leaving Klungo behind so he can take care of the stupid bear and bird) so I came up with a much more devious plan to get back my youth! Well, I guess my sisters should be taking the credit but whatever! This device was known as the Big-O-Blaster (or B.O.B. for short) that had the power to drain the lifeforce from others and store it! I was so enthralled by the device that I decided to test it out on the person that gave that stupid bear his first Jiggly: King Jingling. His life was drained and it turn him into a zombie! Serves him right! B.O.B. was successful and I wanted to blast the entire island by my sis said it would've took a long time but I have patience so I could wait!Like with my first appearance, my role once those \"story-scripted events\" ends is shortened as I'm on the sidelines until Banjo gets enough Jiggies to access my lair. Sadly, my random rhymes are taken away but I am still the focus of the game I assure you. After Banjo and Kazooie finally make it to my lair, they must pass by my glorious Tower of Tragedy quiz! They had to play alongside my two sisters with 100 ton weights over top of them! If you have less points, you'll get crushed! Of course my intention was to get the bear and bird thinking they're too stupid to pass my quiz, but, alas, I lost my two sisters instead. Oh well. Sacrifices must be made in order to further my own goals! *laughs evilly* Anywho, like with the first game, I escaped to the top of my lair where I eventually fought the duo in my tank, the Hag 1! And Icertainly gave them a run for their money this time! Unfortunately, I was defeated yet again and I reduced to a head being kicked around... I mentioned that I'll get them back in Banjo-Thereeie but that never came to be...Ahem! Enough of all of the Banjo-Tooie times! Time for me to get by to my rhymes! My series found a new home, I supposed that rocks. On a system known as \"X-box\". Banjo-Kazooie Nuts and Bolts is the name. It's certainly different from any other game. A game about racing, no platfroming at all. Our series took a hit, harder than my fall. A new character named L.O.G., such a dumb name. He purposely changed our series because he felt it was the same. He gave me robotic body instead of a new one. But promised me greatness if I won! I had a new assistant, a cat named Piddles. She's so tricky, even more than my riddles! Alas, despite my fight, I lost at the end. Forced to work in L.O.G.'s factory, I hate this trend!But years later (I'm turning up my nose), bear and bird came back home inSuper Smash Bros.! Sadly I didn't join the battle too, as THEY got in over ME \u2014 boo hoo! Bad enough I never got a number and yet they have the nerve to pick thatso-called \"witch\" from Umbra!But you can see me flying around on the Spiral Mountain stage in the background. Next time though, I'll have my lot, they MUST make me playable or we riot! Then I can stealthat princess'beauty. Come to think of it, she's prettier than Tooty!Read my tropes, if you dare! I promise that you'll be in for a scare!Ambiguously Human: Am I a human? You cannot tell. Especially my skeletal and robotic bodies, oh well.And I Must Scream: Being trapped under that boulder for two years was not fun. It wouldn't have happened if I won!Ax-Crazy: I lost my sanity after being trapped underground. I'm playing for serious this time around!Bad Boss: How dare you Klungo, lose to the bear and bird? Many beatings I've given him that he couldn't utter a word! Oh my precious sisters, they failed me as well. After losing my quiz, I crushed them, as you can tell.Badass Boast: My rhymes help making my boasts sound tough! I say them right before I get rough!Big Bad: I am the game's biggest foe. Who always faces the duo toe-to-toe!Big Eater: I planned on doing this if I could win. The prize to myself for being thin!Me: When I'm nice and slim once more, burgers, fries, and chips galore!Big, Thin, Short Trio: When with Mingy and Blobby, I'm of the Big sort, while Mingy's the Thin and Blobby's the Short!Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: Brenty, Mingy, Blobby and I, our hair colors you shouldn't forget. In that order, we go blonde, redhead (twice), brunette!Bond Villain Stupidity: I was close to draining Tooty's fair, except I allowed that bear loose in my lair. If only I let that machine run, then I would've most certainly won!Brain in a Jar: ByNuts & BoltsI'd been reduced to a skull. Which would have made my boss battle dreadfully dull. At the same time the bear got his stupid car, I got a new body, controlled by my skull in a jar.Corrupt Corporate Executive: I own a number of businesses that pollute. When it comes to the environment, I just don't give a hoot! In the first game, I owned Clanker's Cavern, full of grime, where Clanker acted as my trash compactor (for a time). And the H.M.S. Rusty Bucket, a large cargo ship that made the water around it oily when it took a dip. In the second game, I owned the Witchyworld amusement park with rides so unsafe, they're sure to leave a mark! I also owned a factory named Grunty Industries. It spewed thick black smoke and toxic ooze (it tastes like mouldy cheese - yum). They all operate underNo OSHA Compliance, but why should I waste all that money on a safe appliance? Lastly, in any of these companies where my workers are employed, they will attack anyone on sight, that's how badly they're annoyed!Dark Action Girl: My magic skills are a sight to behold, I got to kill that mole I was told!Deflector Shields: I had the fight won with my impenetrable shield. So the Jinjos that the bear and bird were forced to wield.Determinator: I WILL destroy that pesky bear and bird! Even as a skeleton or head, you've heard!Dem Bones: My glorious flesh rotted away for a few years, nothing but bones as I have appear.Disney Villain Death: At the end of the first game, the Jinjonator attacked, and I fell into the ground with a massive smack! A boulder fell too, leaving me stuck. Good thing my sisters came! What luck!Embarrassing Last Name: My last name is \"Winkybunion\". People think it's a hoot. Until their butts get politely introduced to my boot!Even Evil Has Standards:That bear's love for being dirty makes me so mean! I'll make sure he gets nice and clean!Me: I can't believe you went in there, now wash your hands, filthy bear!Go ahead! Cheat! If you dare! I'll erase your game pak and you'll start back in my lair!Evil Laugh: My wonderful cackle will haunt your dreams. A Game Over you will hear this a lot, as it seems!Fairest of Them All: Indeed! I am! Or so I thought. Stealing Tooty's beauty was the first game's plot.Fat Bastard: Don't call me fat! How rude are you?! But mean I sure am, I'll admit that part's true.Final Boss: I'm always the final ultimate threat! Just come to my lair and face me, you'll regret!Fireballs: When my magic fails, I was forced to use fire. It was then I knew my situation was dire!Game Over Girl: Did you lose all your lives, you bumbling clod? Then you get to look at my new hot bod!Ghastly Ghost: InGrunty's Revenge, I became a ghost, which controlled the Mecha Grunty suit I needed the most. When Banjo destroyed it on my tower, I tried to crush him with my ghostly power. I summoned two clones to attack him, but he was too smart, and my plan, like the Mecha Grunty, all fell apart.Go-Karting with Bowser: Although you may find it quite absurd,I once raced in a plane against that bear and bird. I even had my own Grand Prix, but the best part ofBanjo-Pilotwas playing as me!Good Witch Versus Bad Witch: I'm indeed the bad witch, I love it a lot. Brentilda's the good witch... even though she'sgreen like snot!Green and Mean: I like this trope! It's rhyme is on spot. Green I am, yes, but nice I'm surely not!Green Is Gross: My skin is green, and my hobbies are gross; when it comes to bad habits, I have the most! I decorate my room with smelly socks, and wear streaky brown undies (or did they have purple spots?). Then there's my trademark party trick: Inflating balloons with my butt, doesn't it just make you sick?Homing Projectile: One of my strongest spells follows you around! Followed by a screaming, oh what a sound!Honor Before Reason: Fine. I'll admit, if you get my quiz questions right. I'll slow down my spell and hold back my might.Hot Witch: If you Game Over, you're in for a sight! A sexy Grunty sure isn't a fright!I Am Big Boned: Iambig boned, so don't call me fat! Just playTooieif you want proof of that. I was reduced to nothing but a skeletal frame, yet I'm still the same size I was in the previous game!Jerkass: I take much pleasure in being a jerk, it's my favorite form of work!Laughably Evil: How dare you think that I am funny!? It's not my fault my rhymes are so punny.Made of Iron: I fell from my tower and a rock fell on my head. If that happened to you, you'd surely be dead. But tough old Grunty didn't die that day. Instead I was trapped, and slowly rotted away.Motive Decay: I wanted Tooty's beauty, but not any more! Now I wanted to kill the bear and bird and settle the score!Multiple-Choice Past: Brentilda will tell you some facts about me, which will help you get past my quiz show, you see. But don't think you can use the same answers twice. The SADISTS at Rareware weren't nearly that nice! Because every time you start a new game, those answers will change, and won't be the same! Just likethat clownwithMark Hamill's voice,if I must have a past, make it multiple choice!Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: InGrunty's Revenge, I was a robot witch powered by a ghost. Too bad at the end of the game, my robot body was toast! Then I was a zombie witch inBanjo-Tooie, but that bear and bird reduced me to a skull. Oh, phooey! Eight years later inNuts and Bolts, I returned to get my revenge on those two dolts. L.O.G. gave me a new robot suit that I needed to give that bear and bird the boot. Those two made me real irate, so I built myself a ship designed for a pirate. That made me a pirate zombie robot witch, so it would appear. I've had quite an interesting career.Nose Nuggets: I enjoy flicking loogies, I'll gladly report. I even compete against others for sport!Our Liches Are Different: A lich you say? Interesting indeed. But I posses no undead powers, can't you read?A Pupil of Mine Until He Turned to Evil: Mumbo Jumbo taught me magic. Then I turned evil. Isn't that tragic? I also turned his head into a skull. I just wanted it to match his house, that's all.Rhymes on a Dime: Rhyming is my most character defining trait, too bad in the second game I had to wait. My sisters were annoyed by my constant rhymes, so I had to stop using them. Such cruel times! After crushing those two stupid dolts, I went back to rhyming in Nuts & Bolts!Robot Me:InGrunty's Revenge, Klungo made a Mecha Grunty suit, which I needed to give that bear and bird the boot, since my regular body was trapped under a rock. My ghost controlled the suit to give Banjo a shock! Alas, it was destroyed by the game's end, so on my sisters I had to depend.InNuts and Bolts, L.O.G. gave me a new robot suit I could use to give the bear and bird the boot. This one was a little less dull; it looked just like my old body and had a jar for my skull. The good news is this one wasn't destroyed. The bad news is, in L.O.G.'s factory, I'm unhappily employed.Spanner in the Works: Foolish L.O.G. you think my factory punishment was so bad? I now have the resources to make my own game, I'm so glad!The Sociopath: I care for only myself, no one else gets sympathy! The perfect trope to describe this asLack of Empathy.Terrible Trio: I formed one with Mingy and Blobby inBanjo-Tooie. They rescued me, then made me stop rhyming. Oh, phooey!Vain Sorceress: My beauty knows no bounds! It's not as crazy as it sounds!We Will Meet Again: You think I'm done? How foolish can you be?! I'll be back in the next game, just you wait and see!World's Most Beautiful Woman: Yes I am! Just look at the bad end! I'm very beautiful, and it's not for pretend!"}
{"text": "C'mon. Do I really look like the bad guy here?\"When I opened the Vault and destroyed the Destroyer inside\u2014 ironic, I know! \u2014 I had a Hyperion weapon in my hand. When I cleaned up the frontier and burned that bandit settlement of New Haven to the ground, it was a Hyperion pistol I held in my fist. And goddamned every day as I watch over this planet, as its protector, as its champion, and as its hero, it's Hyperion firearms I put my trust in.Hell, that's why I bought the goddamn company in the first place.This is Handsome Jack, and I'm signing off on Hyperion!What do you guys think? Accent too much?\"\u2014 Me, convincing you to buy Hyperion guns. And grenades.And bulletproof shields, and ad sattelites and nuclear-powered rocket launchers and tanks and spaceships and...Hey there kiddos, Handsome Jack here!Savior of Pandora, bringer of civilization, all that crap. I thought it was high time I finally decided to grace this site with my own person. Which, I gotta admit, is a pretty damn amazing thing to look at.You see, I've got a simple goal - to make Pandora a better place. Ignore those rumors about me tapping into the planet to awaken some unholy Eridian terror, those are just lies being spread by filthy bandits trying to discredit my efforts. The only reason I'm doing it is to try and find the vault in order to make sure that Pandora's safe. You know, forcivilized people. Not for those morons living in Sanctuary who prefer getting by on the skin of their teeth rather than try and join society like other normal folk would.I was gonna put up my own little backstory here, but there's, ah, not much to really talk about. My nameisn't John, no matter who says it- try it, and you're gonna find yourself strangled. Not choked, strangled. There's a difference.And by the way, to whoever the hell took so damn long to make this freakin' page, I'd like to see you in my office. And the rest of you better get to work on fixing this page up! And make it sound like me!Wait, what the hell?That psycho bandit who can't stop talking about riding bikes made of meatgot a page here too?Some basic crap you need to know about meAbusive Parents:I was protecting my Angel! It's a bandit smear campaign!Emphasis on \"smear\".Oh! Maybe you were talking about my grandma? Yeah, she was totally the worst.A.I. Is a Crapshoot: One of my followers decided to make one of these based on me, who then went on toDESTROY MY MOON BASE!! *NO ONE* DESTROYS MY MOON BASE!!!FYI, it wasRhyswho destroyed Helios, 'Kiddo'.Not me. - AI JackEff off. - OG JackAmbiguous Disorder: \"Disorder\"? What are you talking about? Let me read that...\"Borderline Personality Disorder\"?What kind of crackpot hackcame up withthat?Arm Cannon: Oh yeah, my wrist-mounted blasters! I like to think they're a hell of a lot classier than any of the guns I actually sell. When you're the head of Hyperion, you keep the best gadgets for yourself!Bad Boss: Someone's itchin' to get strangled...Benevolent Boss: That's more like it. Just askAthena, Nisha, Wilhelm, Claptra- Uh, actually you know what, just Athena. She and I had a good business relationship before I got promoted to head of Hyperion, I gotta watch after my own team after all.Beard Of GLORY!: Used to have one. Now I make do with this little staplerthingyon my mask. NowTassiter, he had aBeard of Evil. After I killed him I used it topretend I was an evil version of myself. You know, like in that old show. About space, and stuff. What was it again?Believing Their Own Lies: Well,I lie.A LOT.But never to myself!THIS IS NOT AN EXAMPLE!!Berserk Button:BANDITS!And anyone who calls me \"John\". And those that hurt my Angel.Breakout Villain: Ok, first of all:Not a Villain. Second of all, if Iwerea villain,preferably of a hit million-dollar-worthy franchise beloved by many, then YES, I think I'd be pretty popular.Control Freak:CONTROL FREAK?!You just earned yourself a stranglin', bucko!Demoted to Extra:So Rhys handed my A.I. self to Blake and had me turned into a freaking gun based on freaking Tediore firmware. At least I get to kill bandits. Billions and billions of bandits, now calling themselves the Children of the Vault.Even Evil Has Loved Ones: My Angel. There's a reason I named her that, you know...Expy: Some wiseass here thinks I was cribbed offsome anime-styled fighting game villain.There's also thisPavi Largo guy.According to that page I just linked, he's a \"vain, dim-witted, effeminate rapist and womanizer who wears women's faces as masks.\" So, nothing like me. I mean, everyone knowsI'm not dim-witted!Yeah? Yeah.And now I have one in the form of Katagawa Jr. Nice try kid, but you made a big mistake in making a deal with bandits of whatever they're calling themselves these days.Fantastic Racism: Ifriggin' hatethose annoying Claptrap units! Lemme tell you, I did the galaxy of a favor when I wiped out their entire line.Has a Type: Ilovea lady with a nice hat. Moxxi, Nisha....Hero Antagonist: Yeah, I always thought it was super weird that in my game you play as a bunch of bandits trying to take down my empire instead of the hero who brought order to Pandora!Klingon Promotion: Who comes up with this stuff? Anyhoo I did Hyperion a favor by strangling the life out of Tassiter.Ain't Too Proud to Beg: *I* diedfighting.My AIhad to desecrate my legacy by begging for his non-life. Thanks a lot,Nakayama.Red Right Hand:If I were evil, then either my mask, my heterochromia, or thescarunder my mask would qualify. But I'm not evil, so they're more akin toFace of a Thugthan anything.Shameless Self-Promoter: Gotta give the people what they want, which ismore of me!Villainous Legacy: Ironically, I posthumously banded all the bandits into one happy little family led by two fraternal SirensnoteA male Siren? How does that even work?.My death left Hyperion scrambling to find a successor to my genius, which somehow led to, among other things, a bunch of stupid fanboys making and wearing facsimiles of my mask and an AI copy of myself riding shotgun inside the head of some no-namelow-level programmer with delusions of grandeur. Boy, I leave for one second...I also had a casino and the customers are still trying to pay off their debt to me!The Worf Effect: You're telling me that even with Wilhelm or the Warrior at my disposal, I would stillloseto those vodka-guzzling, ammo-wasting borscht peddlers/stroganoff jockeys from Vladof with their oversized tin toys?! I need a freaking drink...X Meets Y:Some peoplehave made the comparison that I'm like a cross betweenBruce WayneandThe Joker. I'm not sure whether I should be flatered or just strangle them to death. Y'knowhat, I'm just gonna go ahead and strangle them just in case.What, you're leaving? But I've got so many more stories to tell! Ah, geez...At least check outmy cool gameswhile you're at it!That's right, they're MY games.And no one else's. And somebody better bring me back for real in the third game!Wait, they did?YES! FINALLY!Gearboxfinally gives their greatest villain the recognition he- wait, hold on. Rhys did what with the who now?Oh...oh,no..."}
{"text": "Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe...Maybe...(This page is best read in the voice of Gary Schwartz, speaking in a Russian accent.)MEET THE HEAVY*ahem*I am Heavy Weapons Guy, member ofTeam Fortress... And this... is my TVTropes page. I like to shootSasha, is all you need to know....Do you not understand? I like. To shoot. This Gun.Is all you need to know......Oh, fine. I hail from Russia, where I live in cabin with mother and my sisters Zhanna, Yana, and Bronislava. My father was counter-revolutionary, and when he was killed, me and rest of family were sent to gulag.I escape gulag with family,burn gulag to ground,then tortured gulag's guards to death. We spent time on run from government, where I took up work as mercenary. Soon found myself in Teufort where I met love of my life,Sasha. We kill many cowards together, all for good pay to protect family.After Redmond and Blutarch were killed, I got new job fighting robots. When that wasn't working, their builder, Gray Mann, found other means to take over Mann Co.. He fired me and the others, after which I returned to Russia to care for my family. When Miss Pauling come with other team members to bring me back, I did not want to. I had obligation to be there for my family. But they showed me that they could care for themselves now, did not need me watching over their shoulders anymore. Money was good and many bad guys were to die, so...HEAVY WAS BACK, BABY!Over the years, I have engaged in other endeavors beyond mercenary work. Was invited topoker tournamentonce, and teamed up with Pyro and Spy to formracing team.noteBy the way, we were hoping forlittle hedgehog's movieto break curse ofbad video game movies. Now hope came true and little Hedgehog movie became #1 at box office! And he does it again insequel!Now be careful when making third movie. I have seen popular film adaptations become hot messes when third movie arrives.But now current job is to list tropes for you.I am full of tropes, and I am coming for you!:Achilles' Heel: Sniper and Spy stupid classes that take advantage of my slow speed to take me out in one hit. Heavy won't last long in a fight if I'm not watching and listening carefully for baby enemies trying to pick me off.Berserk Button: Oh my god, who touched Sasha? Alright...WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!?Big Fancy House: Family cabin is quite nice place to live, Heavy must say. Though, I can understand why sisters take issue with itslocation.BFG: Dah, Sasha too big for itty bitty men to use!Dark and Troubled Past: Heavy does not like talking about past. Puny director poked nose in business that wasn't his and dug up my time in the gulag, andwhat I did to escape itanyway.I made it very clear to him that he should drop the subject.Difficult, but Awesome: Killing enemy team not easy job, but is why it pays so well. Heavy gives advice, awareness of your surroundings is key to playing well, otherwise cowardly Sniper or stupid Spy pick me off effortlessly. Keeping Sasha revved up all the time just makes me even slower and easier to focus down. Stay on move, and spin-up only when necessary. I retain running momentum when jumping, so leaping around corners while revving up minigun is good strategy to remain mobile while still being ready to attack.Dumb Muscle:Nyet! Heavy has PhD! Often seen as stupid because of my loose grasp on English.Eloquent in My Native Tongue: Heavy not stupid, English just not his first language. Before the incident with the gulag, I earned PhD in Russian Literature. Is more useful in line of work than one would think.Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Heavy kills many men for the sake of lining pockets, but when me and my mother and sisters are on the run from the Russian government, honest work is not possible.Everything Trying to Kill You: Tiny baby men know I will turn them inside out if ignored. Most enemies will aim at me as soon as I'm out in the open.Extreme Omnivore: Robo Sandvich and Festive Sandvich are still sandviches.Finger Gun: Do not be fooled.Heavy's fingers are weapons deadly enough toend you in one shot.I Call It \"Vera\": Sasha will always be my baby, but I do keep Natascha, Svetlana, Oksana, and Sheila around in case I need to kill babies in other ways.\"Instant Death\" Radius: If you are touching the barrel of my gun, then you are a dead man.Invulnerable Knuckles: Heavy's fists are tougher than the brass knuckles I have. My fists will crush robots just as well as the flesh and blood men I usually fight.Mighty Glacier: Minigun kills things very quickly, but well... It will be long trip to objective if Engineer doesn't put teleport up.Is most especially true when Heavy is carrying Oksana. Her damage is unmatched, but she takes long time to spin up, and Heavy moves so slowly when firing.Not That Kind of Doctor: Doctorate in Russian literature, makes me a more official doctor thanMedic.Shoot the Bullet: Giant robot Heavy will sometimes have gun that can shoot down rockets and bombs. Once I find old lady again, shewilltell me why I did not get this gun.However, if Heavy spend hard-earned money at Upgrade Station, I can also crush rockets with any of my guns.noteExcept shotguns. But why would Heavy use tiny baby shotgun?Simple, yet Awesome: Minigun not difficult to understand. Also not difficult to spill blood with.Skill Gate Character: Heavy most powerful class in game on paper. Has the most health, the deadliest weapon, and is one of the best targets for doctor's Ubercharge. And against new players, is true more often that not! But... most other classes learn crazy new tricks as players get better with them. Heavy has no such tricks to learn, so more experienced players know what to do about me, even if doctor has my back. Stupid 6s format...Only using 4 classes in a game that has 9...Squick: Atpoker tournament,Tychoappall Heavy with fantasy about giraffes.Superior Successor:Classic Heavy needed power of immortality to fight me. While he said himself he wasn't getting younger, Heavy is advancing in age also.Trademark Favorite Food: Saaaandvich! Sandvich... Is so delicious, it heals all of Heavy's wounds if eaten! Can also share with teammates too, but healing won't be as effective. They must not like sandviches the way I do.You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!:Heavy knows he promised sisters he wouldn't keep sisters locked up in cabin to do nothing but eat bear anymore, but... Seriously Zhanna,Soldier!?There. I have shown everything you need to know...hold on... WHERE IS SANDVICH? WHO TOOK SANDVICH?! Sorry. Need to get back sandvich now. Will catch up if can. WHOEVER TOOK SANDVICH, I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!"}
{"text": ": We know, damn it! Gods... Where didtheyall come from?Henry: Well, see,when a mommy zombie and a daddy zombie love each other very much... Nya ha ha!\u2014 A part of Henry's recruitment conversation,Chapter 13ofFire Emblem: Awakening(note: This page is best read in eitherBryce Papenbrook's orAkemi Okamura's voice. Choose your silly voice!)Oh, hey! Who are you? You don't look like aRisen, and I'm certain I'd be fingerpainting with your blood right now if you were a bad guy... Me? I'mHenry, your happy-go-lucky Plegian Dark Mage, of course!You know, from Plegia?Home of The Mad King Gangrel?The guy that likes war and whatnot?You're killing me here,and not in the fun way, either! Anyway, what brings you here? \"TV Tropes\"? Oooh,were you hit by a curse to wander TV Tropes for the rest of your life? I love that one! I wish I could say I came up with that curse myself, nya ha ha!Well, since you're not a bad guy, I guess I could sit down and talk with you some more. Let's see... Well, when I was a boy, I'd get into all sorts of fun. Playing with ravens, skipping rocks across the lake,practising dark magic... You know, fun stuff! My parents didn't really care much for me, and it was kinda hard to make friends. I did become friends with a wolf growing up, though,and she practically took care of me more than my own mom!In fact, I grew up being friends with all sorts of animals! Yup, those were fun days... Until my wolf friend wandered into my village one day. She just wanted to visit, but she got killed by some of the men living there. It was really sad, losing her like that. Oooh boy, I made them pay... And...I got sent to awizarding school after that! I never really made friends there. It's kinda hard feeling any empathy for humans when they do all sorts of stupid stuff, you know? How am I supposed to know not to hex people to have fish eyes when they're complaining about falling asleep in class?And then there was that time with replacing the teacher's blood with fire...Whoops,I'm getting distracted! Nya ha ha, sorry about that! Anyway, time went by and I ended up joining the Plegian army for war and stuff! I think it was about assassinating the figurehead of Ylisse and expanding for the sake of the Grimleal or something...? I don't remember,I was just in it for the blood! Then one night, a buncha guys named the Shepherds were camping out when they were attacked by a bunch of Risen! I figured I might as well join them, since they look like war follows them around all the time.What's the point of war if it's you're not around long enough to enjoy it?So I asked Chrom if I can join them and, funnily enough, they accepted! What a bunch of nice folks!So yeah, here I am now, talking about my time fighting for the Shepherds and talking to a complete stranger. It's either this or flinging more curses at people, and my hex finger is tired, so I figured I'd spend my time talking with you! Aren't you glad? Heehee!I'm quite envious that Robin, Lucina, and Chrom get to be inSuper Smash Bros.. I didn't even get to be one of those disembodied spirit thingies in the fifth game!What's that? Tropes? Oh yeah, I guess you did come here for those! Let me just poof some up for you! Let's see,now where's that blue robin corpse...?Here we go! I whipped up aHEXof a lot of tropes, just for you! Get it??Affably Evil: Well, not evil per se. Just twisted. People say I am pretty friendly, though!Barbarian Hero: I can reclass myself to be a barbarian! I don't get to explode peoples' heads anymore,but then I can maim and decapitate them until the crows come home!Battle Couple: I'm able to pair up with any of the first generation women in Chrom's army. Except Anna, I guess. And Say'ri. And Tiki. And Flavia.Oh, that includes thoseEinherjarfolks, too!Birds of a Feather: Me. Tharja. End of the story! I believe she even said that we'd fit together wellbecausewe're not normal people! Isn't shehilarious, huh?Blood Knight: I love blood! Oooh, and war!Heck, I always obey orders! Well, except for the stupid ones like \"don't fight the enemy.\" If someone tried to tell me that, I'd cut'em in half and feed them to the crows!Blood Lust: Tee hee!I don't care about politics. I just want to throw fireballs at the bad guys.Blow You Away: I can use wind magic. Woosh! It's even better when Chrom lets me blow an axe right towards someone's neck!Blue-and-Orange Morality: On the one hand, I left the Grimleal to fight alongside the Shepherds. On the other hand, I'd have no problems killing everyone in the Shepherds if a girl likeTharjaasked me to. Ooh, but if I had a third hand, I'd say that I don't actually want to kill anyone in the Shepherds, since they're all so friendly! And on the potential fourth hand,should the Shepherdsbe ever hurt...Boarding School of Horrors: I was raised inWizarding Schoolso my parents wouldn't have to take care of me. Maybe that's why I loveblood and magic and blood magicso much!Body Horror: What, you don't like the idea of me getting that sixth finger?Casting a Shadow: Oh man, I love dark tomes! So many ways to split a foe's head open with these...Character Development: Yup, it's a bit surprising, but I'm notALLabout the blood and the pain on others! I like helping out my friends when they need it, to start. Pity they get scared when I offer them a chopped Risen hand... I mean, a hand! Oops.Clever Crows: I love crows and ravens! Heck, they must love me too since they used to circle around me pretty much all the time! I once saw a man turn into a raven himself, so I'm hoping that with enough study, maybe I could too. I evenoncefound a tome what allows me to summon ravens to attack!Comedic Sociopathy: Now that I think about it, I guess schadenfreude is my favourite kind of freude!Crazy Jealous Guy: ... So I really shouldn't ask my girlfriend/wife if I should hex her soshe won't look at other guys instead of me? Really? Aw....Creepy Awesome: Sometimes when i'm on the battlefield i go all \"Zap! Sizzle! DIE! AAAAAAH!\" but then you know i'm very creepy too according to some people (The tropers on this website)Creepy Cute: I'm pretty cute, i think? Those crows though. Those crows are much much much cuter than even me!Creepy Good: Don't worry, it's all with a smile!Curse: I also moonlight as a practitioner, you know!Dark Is Evil: Why do people have to go and call enjoying death a bad thing? Come on, it's funny!Declaration of Protection: I told Ricken that, if either he or any of our friends are hurt or killed... there. will. be. blood. Mmmm, blood. And LOTS of it, nyahaha!Dogged Nice Guy: I couldn't help it, Cordelia liked Chrom a L-O-T! So I thought I should be more manly if I wanted her to like me... And then she said \"I love youJust the Way You Are!\" I guess it kiiiinda worked, just not like I expected it! Aw.Elemental Powers: Magic tomes are so much fun.Ensemble Dark Horse: I was voted the third most popularFire Emblem: Awakeningcharacter on an official Nintendo poll, right behindWalhartand \"Marth,\" y'know! More popular than even the main character and every other side character? I didn't do it, butsomeonecursed the fans to find me pretty memorable, nya ha ha!Even Henry Has Standards: One time, in the Outrealms, I was fighting this guy...Legion, I think it was!Who names their kid that?Anyway, he said he and I are two peas in a pod, but I don't just follow any orders like he does. Nope, I have standards too. Messing with the angle of a guy's spine, though, we can definitely agree on!Evil Laugh: I can't help it, you should see the way some of these bad guys just shower out blood before dropping on the ground!Eyes Always Shut: Even during that one time when I confessed to Chrom's tactician, I never opened them! Not even once! It must be a curse or something, haha... Wait, what was her name again? Did that ever happen? Whoops, did I curse myself or something?\"Freaky Friday\" Flip: Sometimes, Sumia lets me swap bodies with her so I can fly on her pegasus! Can't afford being thrown off the saddle if the poor horsey gets scared of me! I'd end up all splattered on the ground, huhu.Friend to All Living Things: I love animals! Crows, dogs, wolves, wyverns. Heck, I can even talk to plants!Good Parents: When I told my child that I'd never be a deadbeat dad, I meant it! And I still do! Whoever tries to harm any of my kidswill go BOOOOOM! Or SPLAT! Or maybe even SPLOOOOSH!Got it? Hee heeee!Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Ripping evil people apart to see how much blood they squirt is hilarious!Jack of All Stats: Let's see. I guess my skill and defense is pretty good, but I'm not really that fast, and I seem to have some bad luck. Still, I have some skills that give me a high critical hit rate, and I have an extra point in strength that would make me a pretty goodMagic Knight!Keet: Creepiest keet you'll ever meet, hee hee! Oh, hey, that rhymed!Love Makes You Evil: I guess I'm already unhinged, but you should see the stuff I'd do for someone I love!Magic Knight: If I become a Dark Knight, that means I'll no longer be aRed Mage... But I get a cool sword, though! Yeah, stabby stab stab!Mercy Kill: I know a curse that kills people the instant they're fatally wounded! Death is fun, but not pain.Nice Guy: Aw, cmon! Despite my fetish with death, I'm probably the friendliest Plegian you'll ever meet.Nightmare Fetishist:What was that one thing I said? Oh yeah!I want to die a horrible, bloody death that's completely painless. ...I don't like ouchies.Oooh, and if I get married to a female Avatar...?I'll love you with every ounce of my blood, till I die. Ooh... when do you think that'll be?Obliviously Evil: What do you mean \"killing birds so Lissa can sleep is a bad thing\"?Opposites Attract: Well, some of my potential girlfriends are very unlike me. Sumia is clumsy, kind andlikes flowersas much as I like blood. Olivia is cute, shy, awkward, and prefers dancing to killing. But I can come to like any of them more than almost any hex!Parental Neglect: Yeah, my parents didn't really care about me much, but I'm not gonna cry about it. Besides, my wolf friend was way better company than they were!Perky Goth: Sully says I'm awfully sunny for a dark mage.Pet the Dog: One time, that crazy girl Olivia thought I was going to kill an injured puppy. Why would I do that? I love dogs!Playing with Fire: I can use fire magic. More likeschaden-fried! Nya ha ha!Please, Don't Leave Me: Okay, I admit I've got a few little abandonment issues here and there. Being alone isnotfun! So if I marry Panne, I make her promise she'll always stay by my side!Plucky Dude: You can't say I give up easily, you know. I'll get my bloody and ouchies-free death someday and no one will stop me!The Pollyanna: With so much war to enjoy why would I ever be gloomy?Pre-Mortem One-Liner: Next time, I'll say something like:\"Have some death!\"or\"Special delivery!\"or\"I'm gonna kill you!\"or maybe I could be like\"Hahahahaha!\"Punch-Clock Hero: Like I said, I joined because I figured I'll last longer with the Shepherds than against them! No sense in letting a fun war pass ME up!Pungeon Master: I loves puns!That time Chrom recruited me is probably the best example, but I still love making them when I level up.Pure Is Not Good: Tharja says that my power derives from my purity. She's crazy!Raised by Wolves: I actually was raised by wolves, pretty much, which explain my strange.Red Mage: Well yeah! I can useBlack MagicAND standard magic, y'know? What's the point in killing someone the same way every time?Shock and Awe: I can use lightning magic. The best part is peoples' faces when they're zapped right before dying!Signature Laugh:Nya ha ha!Speaks Fluent Animal: And flower. And insect. Heck, if it's not dead, I can probably talk to it! Now if only I could talk to dead stuff too...Stepford Smiler: Olivia thinks that my happiness is just an act. When will she get it? I just love life and death!13 Is Unlucky: I'm recruited in chapter 13, and my birthday is November 13th. Ironically, that's World Kindness Day!Token Evil Teammate: Aww, evil? It's not like I'm frying wolf cubs or anything like that.The Unsmile:If you evermake me angry...But why would that ever happen?War Is Glorious: I love war! Without it, I'd never get the chance to use all these hexes.What Measure Is a Mook?: Ricken's so weird. He thinks he'll hesitate if he's conscious that he's fighting people with friends and families rather than... what did he call them? \"Faceless blobs with axes\"... Personally, I don't see the problem at all!White Hair, Black Heart: It's the duality thing - like life and death - but blood red hair would suit me so much better!Woolseyism: Small trivia, I was originallyjustan orphaned kid who had never experienced happiness in my life, before the localization. Maybe the guys responsible thought this was too sad and thus made me into this sadistic lover for war?...I really don't know if Iamhappy or sad about it, but you're welcome to assume I'm trying to hide it.Hey, my hex finger's feeling better! Mind if I try a test hex on you? Let's see if I can curse you to know a little more aboutFire Emblem! Nya ha ha!"}
{"text": "(To better sound like aCage, this is best read with the voice ofLinden Ashby,Matt Mullins, Casper Van Dien,AndrewBowen,Joel McHale, orMario Casta\u00f1edaif you speak Spanish.)Didn't know you were such a fan. It's the reason why you're here, right?You don't look like the average reporter or paparazzi hounding me. Don't feel too bad though. I've seen worse, too.I'm surprised that you decided to stop by my humble little page.Johnny Cage is my screen name. My real name is Jonathan Carlton.What, you didn't know? Oh, well. First time for everything, I suppose.I made my debut in1992, along with six other kombatants. And since then, none of us haven't looked back, none more so than me.When you think of Johnny Cage, what comes to mind? Hollywood A-lister with such films as theDragon Fistseries,Ninja Mimeand numerous sequels (even though I hate it, but it's a box office hit overseas),Time Smashers,Who's That?,The Gist Of My Fist, andEvery Dog Has It's Daycomes to mind.Or the fact that depending on which timeline you're referring, I'm either one of Raiden's chosen warriors or Raiden's champion. Yeah, it's weird as hell, but I managed to put the pieces together, with the first timeline being the First Run and the second timeline being the Second Run. Less confusing that way.So my main reasoning as to why I decided to sign on to Mortal Kombat was mainly in part due to my ego. I got tired of the critics and reporters claiming that my skills were nothing but wires and special effects. So I joined up...and the rest is history. No, really. If you wanna know what happened in the games, both the First and Second Run, in the words ofOddworld: Abe's Exoddus, \"dish out some cash, and go buy the stinkin' game!\"...or read a wiki page.Being an actor, it was no surprise that my exploitsmade it to the big screen. Hanzo's still kinda annoyed that I kicked his ass in that matchup. But punching Goro in the nuts was satisfying... even if it did hurt my hand.As for the sequel...let's not speak of that blasphemy. I got a better deal in some of theweb-basedseries though so it all works out. I mean even if not-Baraka sliced my head off in the former. I also signed on for one of thecartoons. Not that it was one of my best though - that would bethose adaptations of the games. Still wonder they didn't call me even once forDefenders of the Realm.And why I've been reduced to aSequel Hookinthe latest movie! Who cares about this Cole guy anyway, that follow-up can't come out soon enough!It really blows I missedthat throwdown with those superheroesthough I get to punch aclown right in the happy sacklater on down the linethough so it's all good.Still here? Read on and see how I became the man that I am today.Action Dad: Cassandra Cage is my little warrior princess and I can't be any more proud of her.Amazon Chaser: A woman who's easy on the eyes? Check. A woman who can hold her own in the ring? Beat still, my heart. A woman who can kick my ass? Lady, here I come (no innuendo intended, boys and girls).Amicable Exes: It was one-sided between Sonya and me, with Yours Truly being the amicable one. Took being kidnapped by Shinnok and Cassie kicking his ass to finally get her to warm up to me.Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy: Yeah, yeah. I admit that my charming personality runs plenty of people the wrong way, but given that I'm Raiden's chosen dude, it's totally justified.Ascended Extra: Before Raiden resettled the timeline, I was part of the supporting cast. Kang was the golden boy, the point man, the star of the show. That all changedwhen Sindel came calling and Raiden accidentally fried his champion. Now, I got the job of being Raiden's golden boy. But sometimes, the price for such fame can be very high.Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: Sonya may deny it, but I know why she made me a God in her most recent ending. One: because Cassie insisted. Two: because Sonya missed me. If only a little. And sorry, babe, I know everything.Back from the Dead: By my count, I died at least three times. Top that,Sean Bean. Not to say that I had a couple of close calls. But I also refuse to die in my movies. If there's a hint of me biting it in the script, the writer must be high.Badass Boast: Before I gave Kano a punch down under, he assumed that I was all wire work and special effects. The truth is that Iamthe special effects.Badass in a Nice Suit: Given the chance, I can rock a mean tuxedo. Hell,I parachuted onto Shang Tsung's Island in oneand I spent most of the first tournament in one.Badass in Distress: Usually, I'm the one pulling off theBig Damn Heroesschtick in my films and on occasion, in real life.When Shinnok was freed, I was the one who needed rescuing from Ol' Fishface and the Revenants.Badass Normal: Wanna know how I can hang in a tournament with ninjas, commandos, sorcerers, gods and wannabe conquerors?Found out from Raiden that I got a warrior bloodline. I'm descended from a Mediterranean warrior cult that bred fighters for the gods.That explains the Glowand how I was able to tank Shinnok's best attacks.Berserk Button: I got several.Rip on my film career? I'll just kick your ass.Mess up my face? Now I'm not holding back.Kill my best friend and ruin my pair of $500 sunglasses? You're dead.Threaten Sonyaand/orCassie? Oh, do I have something bad planned for you\u2026Hell, evenIcan push 'em myself. Like the time I ruined my younger self's pair of $500 sunglasses so he'dhavetogive me a chance toknock some sense into him.Beware the Silly Ones: Don't let my laid back personality fool you.I can get down and dirty with the best of them.And as mentioned above, you threaten anyone I care about,then I'll bust out the Glowand get medieval on your ass.Bodyguarding a Badass: Not me, obviously, but in those ol'Malibu rags(hey, remember them?) I sent my ol' pal Bo to give my new pal Kang some backup. Liuie didn't really need it but it's the thought that counts, ya know?Box Office Bomb: My film debut,Ninja Mime.Not my best work, yetthe French filmgoers love itto the point that I'm still making sequels decades later. Europeans are weird. Also, best not mention it to Cyrax. The guy says I owe him eight bucks for it. He's a cyborg so how\u2026?Bragging Theme Tune: Ever heard of \"Prepare Yourself?\" It's from the oldMKmusic album and if you ever want a musical biography and a tell-all on how great I am, give it a listen, you'll be amazed. Lemme hear it:JOHNNY CAGE IS NOT AFRAID TO DIE!The Casanova: I've had my fair share of conquered female hearts along the way, including GI Sonya, but that one was for real. My Aussie friend doesn't believe I'm not paying ladies to be with me, but hey, maybe he's projecting his own issues onto me.Casanova Wannabe: My bad luck with women only extends to those who I fight and I hold no hard feelings. They can always change their mind.The Champion: I ended up with the job after Kang bought the farm.Character Development: I'm loyal to my friends despite acting like a total goof and act asthe conscienceto Raiden and his team. And as Cassie can tell you,I was a great fatherand mentor to her and the rest of the Kombat Kids.But I didn't get there by taking the easy road.My younger selfhad to find this out the hard way. After nearly losing everything after beating Shinnok, Young Me cleaned up his act and through the hardships, became the man I knew I can be.The Charmer: It's why Sonya keeps me around\u2026even though she doesn't admit it. I did kept her from going off the handle on Kotal when we were looking for Cassie and Jacqui.Chronically Killed Actor: Putting aside what kinda game series this is\u2026back in the old timeline my film companies liked doing movies about me dying over and over again. Actually it's why I jumped in on the fight with theGruesome Twosomeway back when.Combat Pragmatist: The bad guys don't fight fair, so why should I? Fighting dirty is a Cage specialty.Cool Shades: My most prized possession are my sunglasses. And at $500 a pair, they're not cheap.Cool Teacher: Team S-F was my brainchild and I'm actually not half bad at teaching. Go me.Deadpan Snarker: Wouldn't be me if I couldn't bring the snark. And I still got it.Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: I think you mean Did I Just Kicked An Elder God's Ass? I consider that to be my finest hour. And if his family's got a problem with it, I'll take them down too.Dude, Where's My Respect?: For the love of the Elder Gods\u2026 is itthathard to believe that I brought the pain to Shinnok?!Embarrassing Nickname: WHAT?! YOU TALKED TO MY MOM ABOUT THAT?! Do NOT call me \"Johnny Pee-Pants\"! I hadoneaccident! ONE!Empowered Badass Normal: Thanks to my badass Glow that some cultists gave me, not even powered bad guys are safe from Yours Truly!Fighting Clown: Clown? I resent that, I'm a thespian. Sure, I played Ninja Mime and all, but having fun while fighting doesn't make me a clown. I like to goof off, that's all.The Fighting Narcissist: Arrogant? Yes. But I can back it up. And despite that, I'm quite possibly the most selfless hero Raiden has on payroll.Flipping the Bird: I give ol' Boonie a bird when my Deadly Uppercut just won't work right in11, I give you one when you contemplate my extensive buckle collection, let's just say YOU get a finger and YOU get a finger!The Friend Nobody Likes: Yeah, I'll admit I was quite a jackass back in my younger days, made more enemies than friends along the way\u2026 but now I'm one of the most lovable people in the Earthrealm. Just ask Cassie and her friends.Germans Love David Hasselhoff: I think this is one of thoseIn-Universethings. Don't ask me why, but the French absolutely love myNinja Mimeseries. I don't quite understand why, but if they're that willing to pay to enjoy my greatness, who am I to deny them?Good Parents: Yeah I can be a womanizing dickhead and a moron-and-a-half who just doesn't wanna read the room, but goddammit I'm gonna say it real proud, I love my precious lil' girl, Cassie.And don't you fuckin' forget it.Groin Attack: Forget about a gentleman's code in the real battle, you're not earning any honor points there. If you wanna really take someone out, you gotta crack some family jewels\u2026 or hurt a lady in tender places. Trust me, this little trick saved my hide countless times.Yep, I also get my boys kicked real hard. Especially inScorpion's own movie- wait, Scorpion has his own movie now?! And yeah,Bugsy joins in on the funin the sequel.Guest Fighter: Ever playWWE Immortals? It's a mobile game the Netherrealm boys made. Which means I showed up in that. Be honest, you got a kick out of me punchin'John Cenain the corporate grapefruits, didn't ya?Guile Hero: I'm not just good looks and raw charisma, despite the appearances. Behind this handsome face lies a cunning brain. Had to use to beat Goro that one time. Luring him to a cliff and knocking his four-armed ass off of it? Brilliant.Has a Type: Got a thing for blondes since Suzie Denardo back in junior year. Also got a thing for Edenians, as I once dated a woman who looked just like Jade.Hidden Depths: Hey, look at that, the clown uses his brain on occasion, what a shock!I may have a bigass ego, but I'm capable of bein' all nice and humble when it's needed. Certainly didn't have a problem with Jax rearranging my face down in the Armory. I did pick on him about Sonya after all.My film career's given me enough business savvy to make the right calls and offers on occasion. Now if only people would bite\u2026Oh, and Shang Tsung actually got a firsthand taste of Cage philosophy with this line:Me in11:Every mandies, but not every man reallylives.Heel Realization: Believe it or not,that me from the Malibu pagesnearly went down the wrong path. Long story short, magic book thing that gave you shittons of power if you solved all its riddles. Me/Other me was this close to solving the last riddle 'til that Raiden told me I'd be as fake as shit as my haters said if I did. So I tossed it aside. I mean, that unvierse's Goro got the power anyhow.I Hate Past Me: Yeah, I'll be frank. I was a total ***ing asswipe in my prime. I blame my dad for putting ideas in my head. So when he/I got the bright idea to loudly announce to the whole damn world that he/I was gonna \"tap\" past!Sonya at the wrong goddamn time, I took him/me out back and beat some good hard manners into him/myself.Lady Killer In Love: Sonya and I have literally gone to hell and back and traded blood, sweat and tears defending Earthrealm. Never lost an eye for beauty, but as I told my lesser experienced self, Sonya's the \"real deal\".Large Ham: I'm an actor, I act with emotion and sometimes these emotions just burst out of me in a grand display of showboating. That's why I mostly play action heroes, subtlety isn't my style.Let's Get Dangerous!: Yeah, I know when to take the kid gloves off and actually take things serious. Look at Shinnok and you know not to make me mad.Los Angeles: Venice Beach is where I was born and raised.The Merch: There's been action figures of me in the past. Still hot sellers too. Kids, collectors, its all money in the bank. Except my daughter's. That's staying right in the Cage house.Mr. Fanservice: Ladies can't get enough of this perfectly sculpted body, this disarming smile and this silky-smooth voice.The Nicknamer: I like nicknames, they're funny. I think my magnum opus is \"Grandmaster Blueberry Ice\" for my black-and-blue Chinese assassin buddy! Apparently I hear he's only okay withmecalling him that and notCaptain Clown.Off with His Head!: Best of the best next to ol' Subby, baby! One punch and off goes your noggin! And another and another if I'm feelin' wacky! Don't ask.Sadly, the intro to the reboot proved turnabout's fair play. First thing you see is my sliced-off top. Yick.Older Than They Look: Let's see\u2026 I was 29 when I first got the invite to Shang Tsung's island. Add on the 25 years and you get 54. By the time Kronika pulled off her Timequake, I was 56. I age like wine.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Yeah, I take some people about as seriously as I always do, which is\u2026not at all. Until you go planning to do nasty shit to my loved ones. Here's a free tip:Don't.Our Ancestors Are Superheroes: Turns out my ancestors were superhuman warriors, bred as champions for the Gods. Explains the Glow, don't it?Papa Wolf: Don't mess with my daughter. You'll regret that life choice. And don't mess with Jacqui either. She may not be blood-related, but she is my goddaughter. Plus Jax is gonna come fists blazing if something happens to her, so better you get your ass handed to you by me than him.Person as Verb: Hey, Iinventedthe use of \"Cage\" as a verb, bucko! Don't worry, your continued adoration is my royalties.Plucky Comic Relief: What I'm good at. Of course, a comedic character can also be a hero, so I'm fine with that.Pop-Cultured Badass: I'm a major cinephile, so in addition to starring in movies, I watch some where I'm not featured. What? It's not like I'm contractually forbidden to watch 'em. Besides, I can always use a good quote to insult some jerk.They complete me.Power Incontinence:Remember my warrior bloodline? Apparently, my powers went a\u2026tad bit nutsand caused a bit of property damage. Raiden and Nightwolf shipped me off to Seido in order to better control my powers.The Power of Love: Raiden theorized that I can only usethe Glowwhenever a loved one is threatened. Pretty much confirmed whenCassie kicked Shinnok's face in.Produce Pelting: My not-so-loving fans put me on the wrong end of this in myMK4ending way back when. And yes that includes you, Arnold, don't you go denying it now you oversized ham hock! Then myamateur puppetry showin11got me a tomato-shower. I mean they all miss but my poor puppet always gets a faceful.Reasonable Authority Figure: Would you rather deal with me or General Hardass? Thought so.Roaring Rampage of Revenge: What happened when Young Asswipe Me got a scar on his face from a Black Dragon bullet whizzing by? That. It didn't take but I guess it's something.Sharp-Dressed Man: You bet your sweet ass I am! Mostly in4andDeadly Alliance, where I can ditch the classic tights for a crisp-as-all-hell tuxedo. I mean I got a nice suit in the reboot, but I left the tie undone and the shirt unbuttoned! Man, how little time did I have to get ready? Ugh!Shotoclone: Is that what they call my bag of tricks? Anyway yeah, you got the classic Shadow Balls (in arcing AND straight-on flavors),the ol' Johnny Uppercutand the patented Shadow Kick\u2122for mobility specials with feet.Silver Fox: I may be in my mid-50s, but you can bet your ass I'm still pretty good-looking!Situational Damage Attack: So here's the thing; that famous Nutcracker of mine? I used to never use it on ladies since I thought there'd be nothin' there for the move to get mileage out of. Of course, by later outings, it's, regrettably, no holds barred.Snark-to-Snark Combat: Now you know where Cassie gets it from. And apparently, I've been rubbing off on Sonya since she can snark just as good as me. Between you and me, I may vomit with pride.Spanner in the Works: Old Boneface certainly didn't expect me to whip his behind that time.That's why next time he escaped from his luxury suite amulet, he made sure I was taken out by a bug lady. Ewww, my skin crawls when I think of all these maggots eating my face.Stronger with Age: Even Young Me admits that I'm a tough little bastard.Sunglasses at Night: I don't let nighttime keep my $500 babies in my pocket, no sirrie! I mean I did used to have them off in earlier games, but not later on. And by the way, I don't bump into shit when I wear 'em.Tall, Dark, and Handsome: It's nerve-wracking being an Adonis. Six-foot-one, two hundred pounds of American badassery.Team Dad: I'm a lot more flexible than Sonya. It's one of the main reasons why Cassie's team respects me.Thou Shalt Not Kill: I'd rather not take a guy out if I can help it. War's war and all but there's a difference between Shang telling me to kill a helpless Reptile at the tourney and the shit goin' on with Shinnok.Took a Level in Kindness: After decades of inter-realm intrigue, you can bet that it's changed me for the better.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: That's right. A couple of guys that host ashow like Mortal Kombatput yours truly up against somefamous zero-g racerjust because I was gonna play him in an upcoming flick.Sadly, I joined the count of deaths because of him.Vitriolic Best Buds: Even though the big man won't admit it easily, Jax considers me a good friend, despite beating the crap out of me a few times. It's how bromance happens. In fact, if life was a buddy cop movie, I'd definitely pick him as my partner.Working with the Ex: Can't really avoid Sonya, y'know, her being the General of S-F and a fellow chosen warrior. But when it comes down to it, there's no one I'd trust to watch my back than her.You Called Me \"X\"; It Must Be Serious: Speaking of Sonya,she still carries a torch for me whenever she calls me \"Johnny\". She can deny it, but the romance is still there."}
{"text": "Be warned that beyond this junction, unmarked spoilers aboutthe interactive chroniclesthat I am the eponymous individual of will be visible for all to witness\"We are Gods...darkGods. Andit is our dutytothinthe herd.\"\"Vae Victus!\"\u2014 My battle cry, translated as \"woe to the conquered\".(To immerse yourself fully in the prose of this biography, read this in the voice of oneSimon Templeman).My tale...where shall I begin?The origins of my story do not begin with my birth, for the hands of the fates have woven my lifespan and my destiny into the tapestry that is our reality to the point where although my life began during my birth, the world had already been shaped to accommodate for my presence in the past, the present, and in the times yet to come.My name is Kain, as you may have surmised from reading this so far. At the very beginning, I was but a petty nobleman, the youngest of my siblings, and unlikely to amount to anything in my life as a mortal. I took it upon myself to travel the land of Nosgoth, but they were cut short after I had been accosted and slaughtered like livestock in preparation for a meal. In the afterlife, I didn't care for where I ended up - I only sustained myself through hunger for vengeance on those that had robbed me of my life so early.It was here where I first met Mortanius, a Necromancer \u2014 but more importantly, he was a member of the Circle of Nine, a gathering of sorcerers and mages who sustained the realm of Nosgoth through nine dominions;Mind,States,Dimension,Nature,Energy,War,Time,Death, andBalance, each represented by a pillar, with all nine of them being known as \"the Pillars of Nosgoth\". Mortanius offered me a chance to take vengeance on those who had engineered my end, and I accepted with little hesitation - but for my eagerness, I did not consider the consequence of my decision. As such, Mortanius resurrected me - but rather than return to my original mortal self, he had brought me back from the brink of oblivion as avampire.After slaughtering my assassins, I quickly turned towards my next problem - my new existence as a vampire. I set out towards the Pillars of Nosgoth, the nine structures sustained by the aforementioned Circle of Nine, in order to seek answers on how to return to my normal self. But when I arrived, I encountered the ghost of the previous Guardian of Balance, Ariel, who had been killed three decades before my resurrection. Her body had been discovered by Nupraptor, the Guardian Mind and her lover. Nupraptor deduces that she could have only been killed by a member of the Circle of Nine, but unable to deduce which member was the one with Ariel's blood on their hands,he sent a wave of psychic energy out of grief and rage, intended to drive the members of the Circle to insanity. Because the Circle'swell-being was linked to the land, Nosgoth began decaying as each member was driven to the brink of madness.Of course,I had no concern for this - my motive was purely to seek a cure for myself, which Ariel and Mortanius claimed would find its way to me once I had slain every member of the Circle. And so, I went after each and every one of them. Starting with Nupraptor, and eventually making my way to Azimuth the Planer, I had slaughtered four of the nine guardians, with the fifth, Anarcrothe the Alchemist,fleeing in a cowardly haste, while the sixth, the Sarafan warrior Malek, wound up killed by the vampireVorador. Vorador had shown me the excesses and benefits that came with the existence of being a vampire, and who had begun to fuel hedonistic temptations within me. My pursuit for a cure became less and less of a concern, with the hunger for blood and the desire to slaughter becoming my main motivation.Nevertheless, all good things must come to an end. The land of Nosgoth was being threatened by the legions from the north, led bythe Nemesis, formerly known as William the Just. After amassing an army with the help of King Ottmar, the ruler of Willendorf, we engaged in an epic and sprawling battle against the enemy horde - but it was too little, too late. The army was decimated by the legions of the Nemesis, leaving Nosgoth now at the mercy of the tyrant and his thrall. With no option left, I used atime-streaming device to travel half a century back in time, and confronted William the Just before he became the Nemesis. It was here where I first learned of how the course of history can be altered - William and I both wielded the same blade,the Soul Reaver, but from different periods in time. By crossing both versions of the sword, aparadoxwas created in which the flow of history could be altered, and it was here where I slayed William the Just. And though I did not know it yet, the Soul Reaver would become a salient part of my future, and of my later attempts to perverse the course of history.Traveling forward in time, it seemed as if Nosgoth had been restored, free of the Nemesis' threat. But to my horror, I discovered that my actions in the past had created a worse future for myself than I had imagined - the vampiric race had been hunted to extinction, with William being used as a martyr for the vampire-hunting crusades of old to resume. I arrived just in time to watchVorador meet his fate at the guillotine,leaving me as the last vampire in Nosgoth. As the mob of vampire hunters turned on me, I realized that the leader of this crusade, the Oracle of Nosgoth that had previously assisted me in first meeting Vorador, was in fact a member of the Circle of Nine - the Guardian of Time, Moebius the Timestreamer.He had gone back in time and fueled William the Just's insecurities so that he may become the Nemesis, orchestrated his invasion of Nosgoth, and the ensuing confrontation between me and William,in a bid for Moebius to either wipe out the vampire race, or get rid of me and end the threat to his life. While I still managed to defeat Moebius, the damage had been done. I was the last vampire in Nosgoth, and the sole survivor of the ancient race.I was then summoned to the Pillars by Mortanius, and witnessed a confrontation between him and Anarcrothe, where I learned thatMortanius had been the one who sent the assassins after me in the first place. He had seen the Circle's decay first-hand, and came to the conclusion that new Guardians needed to take their place. After doing me the favor of killing Anarcrothe himself, I confronted him and swore to bring my wrath upon him,which he accepted- but what came next, I had not been prepared for. The Dark Entity, a being of indeterminate origin, has been possessing Mortanius, and had been the one who had killed Ariel in the first place, orchestrating the demise of the Circle. While I did vanquish him for the time being, our destinies would intersect in our futures, though I did not know it at the time.After defeating the Dark Entity,I was left with the revelationthatI was the final Guardian of the Pillars- the Scion of Balance. In order to restore Nosgoth, I would need togive my own life up- in a roundabout way,\"curing\" me of my vampiric disease. But had I chosen the sacrifice, the entire vampiric race would've been lost to the annals of the past. So I refused it, and let the Pillars decay even further. The decision to reject the sacrifice would be the foundation upon which I would build my vampiric empire, and I would later resurrect six of the ancient Sarafan priests to serve me at my behest.My reign lasted for a millennium and a half, and during this time, I had discovered the secret chambers that were used by Moebius to manipulate history. While viewing the timestream in the Chronoplast, I witnessed visions and apparitions of future events to come, and was granted with all manner of revelations. Namely, my first-born \"son\",Raziel, was destined to become trapped within the Soul Reaver, that the Pillars needed to be maintained in order to keep the race of the Dark Entity, the Hylden, imprisoned in the Demon Realm, and that Ariel's death had been orchestrated to happen directly before my moment of birth, thus damning me to a lifetime of insanity. Sacrificing my life would havechanged nothing, as the Pillars were meant to be maintained by vampires, and the extinction of the vampiric race - as well as the death of the last Guardian of the Pillars - would've resulted in the Hylden being released. However, should I have chosen to refuse the sacrifice, I would have damned Nosgoth to an eternity of decay. To say that the odds of the game were not in my favor would be understating the situation; most outcomes would result in some form of defeat for me.All I could do was bide my time. I stared into the Chronoplast for centuries, looking at the individual threads that were possibilities of the future. Raziel became the key to my success; if he wielded the Soul Reaver, which housed his future soul, he would become a walking paradox that would be the key to unraveling the nigh impossible odds I have been facing until then. And so, disguising my true motivations as mere jealousy, I cast Raziel into the abyss, damning him to an eternity of suffering and torment. From there, I waited until the day he would return, all while putting in place the final preparations of my gamble. My empire crumbled around me as the land fell further into decay, and as the rest of my children evolved into grotesque abominations.Eventually,Raziel returned, now disfigured, mutated, and fueled by self-righteous rage and a lust for vengeance. We clashed, and while Raziel was no match for me, that had always been part of my plan. I brought the Soul Reaver upon Raziel, and due to the Reaver's nature as being Raziel's future prison, the Reaver instead shattered upon making contact with him. Raziel absorbed what was left of it, and his place in my game had finally been cemented - now, destiny was but a malleable object that did not hold him subservient to the whims of fate. After watching him slaughter his brothers, we reunited at Moebius' time chambers, where after another confrontation in which Raziel revealed to me that he was now aware of his origins as a Sarafan warrior, I fled into the past of Nosgoth, knowing Raziel would follow me.Now, my plan rests in the hands of Raziel, and in order to restore Nosgoth and the vampire race, while keeping the Hylden at bay, I must guide Raziel with benevolence not shown to him by his other benefactors, one of whom appears to be my old foe, Moebius the Timestreamer, still as manipulative yet pathetic as ever. Raziel seeks his own answers, plundering and pillaging ancient temples and ruins containing some of the land's most well-kept secrets, with his answer and motivations still undetermined to him. I must continue playing the waiting game, so that once the fateful moment approaches, I will be present in the right location at the right time to change the land of Nosgoth, for better or worse.\"But suppose you throw a coin enough times - supposed one day, it lands on its edge.\"Fate promises more tropes, before this drama unfolds...completely:A Lighter Shade of Black: If I had been present in any other fable or myth, it would be remiss of you to assume that I would occupy a heroic position - but in Nosgoth, I instead play the part of a lesser and more benign evil when confronting the dark and manipulative forces of my world.Anti-Hero: I am no paragon of virtue, yet some of my objectives would be considered desirable by those nobler than I.Battle Cry: \"Vae Victus\" - woe to the conquered.Even Evil Has Loved Ones:While Raziel's fate of being imprisoned in the Soul Reaver is the fulcrum of my centuries of planning, I would choose another way to spare him from his fate. And despite what he may think, I never threw him into the Abyss out of jealousy.Even Evil Has Standards: I may be cruel, but I am not without some modicum of morals:I have no tolerance for hypocrisy and moral posturing - my interactions with Raziel in the past of Nosgoth have made this clear enough.I have nothing but disgust for Elzevir the Dollmaker,whatever he was.While my bloodlust was absolute during my early days as a vampire, witnessing what torturous horrors the insane members of the Circle had inflicted upon normal humans left me no choice but to grant thema final mercy.After learning that my former subordinate Magnus had remained loyal to me in spite of all the torturous horrors inflicted upon him by the Wardens of his prison I granted him amerciful end to his nightmare.From Nobody to Nightmare: As a human, I was the youngest in a family of nobles, destined for nothing greater than a life of hedonism and self-pleasure. As a vampire, I have become feared by humans, and a foe of those who try to shape destiny for their own benefit.Guest Fighter: Raziel and I once found ourselvesinside a temple from within another realm. But I seldom make appearances in realities that aren't my own, though it seems as if my devotees have asked for me toconfront warriorsfrom other realitieson several occasions.It's All About Me: I may be working to restore Nosgoth, but I have never fully shed my self-interest and selfish motivations - once I restore Nosgoth, I intend to rule it as before.Legendary in the Sequel: My exploits and the trail of blood left behind by them made me the subject of tales and legends in the future by the vampires spawned from me and my brethren.Noble Demon: My sense of honor, morality, and personal limitations may seem odd to most of you, but make no mistake - at least Ihaveone, unlike my foes.Our Vampires Are Different: It has come to my attention that the portrayal of the vampiric race varies in your fictional tales and stories. Some depictions have gained my interest, and I wonder if some of these are where our species' cycle of evolution is poised to progress towards.Put the \"Laughter\" in \"Slaughter\": Make no mistake - I enjoy bloodshed and combat, which my mannerisms and habits make all the more obvious to those I am engaged in combat with.Right for the Wrong Reasons: The inceptive decision I made to refuse the sacrifice was done purely out of selfishness and self-interest - but as it was revealed to me, it was the preferable recourse in the grand scheme of things.Sociopathic Hero: I have no fear of bloodying my claws should the time arises, though in my elder age, my desire for bloodshed has decreased substantially - in my younger days as a vampire, I held no care for one's innocence or not, for I would have gladly slaughtered them for their blood.Take a Third Option: My entire plan from after I refused the sacrifice was to find a way to restore Nosgoth without sacrificing myself, while also ruling over it and keeping opponents such as the Hylden from conquering it for themselves.Vampire Monarch: The path I chose for myself once I had refused the sacrifice.Villains Never Lie: Would I give you half-truths and metaphorically correct answers should you ask me for them? Yes. But would I ever lie to your face? Never. I am truthful - a mercy you will not find from those who oppose me.Was Once a Man: Though my subjects worship me as a deity among vampires, the simple truth is that I too was a mortal."}
{"text": "I can't stop laughing!\"Oooooh, new victims! Come over, come over, don't be shy, form an orderly line, I'll be happy to kill you all in good...eh? What? You're here looking for information onme? I'm flattered! I like you.I think I'llkill you last. Maybe. We'll see how I feel later, I might change my mind. Perhaps you even want to join my cult and worship me? If so, you may yet live; the Fanatics' Tower is that way. Huh? Oh, right, tropes.I amKefka Palazzo, my friends call me Kefka. When they aren't just shrieking in agony, that is, which is how most of my friends end up reacting to my presence. Well, Icallthem friends - a more correct term might be \"playthings\". But I digress. I am a character from theFinal Fantasyfranchise, specificallyFinal Fantasy VI. In that world, I was court mage toEmperor Gestahlofthe Gestahlian Empire, which by the way, not a very inventive name is it? I thought so too, if you're going to rule the world you need a bit more imagination, which is whyI booted that old geezer to his deathand decided to make my own claim for power. Empires areboringthough,sitting on thronesordering people around, where's the fun in that?So, I decided tobecome a godand use my new powersto rip the world apart. Sure, everyone else was caught in despair or dead, but frankly I think the planet needed that makeover, not enough death and chaos. Trust me, I fixed that, alotof people died! After that I picked up philosophy as a hobby and pontificated thusly:If death and destruction are inevitable, then creating stuff and living is honestly just pointless fluff that we delude ourselves with... So I spent the next year or so dedicating my life toprecision nuking anything and everything that seemed to make people feel compelled to cling to lifefrom atop my tower with myLight of Judgment. You know, so they could come to the same realization as I had and justkill themselves already!And that's when I didn't just fry the humans themselves with the Light just for the heck of it, it's not like I need a reason to kill people.Its like killing ants with a magnifying glass, excepttheseants scream when they die.Muchmore satisfying.But those pesky heroes had to band together and take me down. They sound like self-help booklets, but... okay, fighting them was alotof fun, I enjoyed it immensely, but they killed me! ME!! Poor little me died and my fun came to an end. I went down fighting, let me tell you, and Itook the source of all magic in the worldwith me when I went, so even if they won, it was aBittersweet Ending... plus, it's not like they won't all die sooner or later anyway, with or without my involvement...So anyway, I was dead, but oh, in your world, I am not forgotten! Why do you think I have this page, because I wanted my name on the page lists? No, I got my own page because some fans and critics consider me to be one of the greatest video game villains of all time! Now, if I am to be honest with you, I'm notquiteas famous asthat long-haired pretty boy in the black coat. There's no accounting for taste, I suppose. But I'm not jealous, why would I be? If you need a reminder of what I eventually do to chump posers who think I'm going to play second banana to them, just ask Emperor Gestahl...Aside from my original game, I've appeared in thatDissidia Final Fantasyspin-off and thearcade rebootof it. I also appeared in therhythm gamespin-off of those titles.Final Fantasy Brave Exvius,Dissidia Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia, andFinal Fantasy Record Keepermade me a playable character, too. One of my personal favorites, though, isFinal Fantasy XIV, I got to appear in the Sigmascape as aBonus Boss. At last you can behold all my Godly glory in full HD, and they let me bring my \"Tower of the Gods\" with me for some backup. I've never looked better!Below are some tropes I collected to show off my accomplishments. Now buzz off, I decided killing you is too boring, I'll let you get a head start, you've got one minute. Sixty...fifty-nine...fifty-eight.Oh, and before you view me with a variable voice or as some sort of mute, remember the two who have done my Japanese and English voice respectively...Shigeru ChibaandDave Wittenberg. Those two have done well to portray me inDissidiaI may say. I also must condone my fanJosh Scorcherfor his take on my Gleeful Madness.I could spend hours going on about how great I am, but that's time I could be using to destroy things, so just read these instead.Alas, Poor Villain: InDissidiathe first. I couldn't fill my empty hear with hopes, dreams or happiness, so I tried to fill it with destruction, but it was never enough. I diedCry Laughing... Little Terra promised to never let my suffering happen again. I'm almost touched...The Bad Guy Wins: It's one of my many claims to fame, thank you. I actuallydidwin, for a while \u2014 the heroes were scattered and demoralized, the world was in tatters with civilization struggling to live on, and I reigned from on-high as a god burning the survivors of the apocalypse as I chose. It took a whole year before the heroes got the courage to band together and take me down, during which I was on top of the world.Beware the Silly Ones: I'm laughing, I'm giggling, I'm bouncing around making jokes, and in about ten seconds I'm going to fry you alive in your own juices with a blast of lightning because man, won't that be fun? I'm not sure if I have the patience to wait that long though.Big Bad: OfFinal Fantasy VI, naturally. I began asThe Dragonto Emperor Gestahl, but trust me, even before I killed him and took over as main antagonist,I was already doing most of the work.Breakout Villain: I only appeared in one game, but I made such an impression that I stand proud as one of the most famousFinal Fantasyvillains, and some have even called me one of the greatest villains in all of video games! People love me, and I hate them all in kind.The Chessmaster: Believe it or not, I showed signs of this. My, shall we say,impeccablefashion sense and demeanor made Gestahl underestimate me and think I'd be easy to control. I exploited Celes's little band breaking into the Magitek research facility to learn about the powers of Magicite, and then used Gestahl's plan to find the Espers to turn a lot of them into it. Finally, I learned about the Warring Triad's powers in secret so I could use them to finally \"dethrone\" Gestahl. Moral of the story, boys and girls:Don't judge a book by its cover.Complete Monster: Once you get to know me, you can see that I am not a nice guy at all.See herefor my finest accomplishments!Confusion Fu: How I fight inDissidia, magic attacks that have irregular movements.Crazy Is Cool: Especially inDissidia, I ham up the scenery while throwing out magic that have bizarre movements.Creepy Circus Music:My leimotifcombines this trope with a military march, quite appropriate if I do say so myself.Creepy Crossdresser: I look stunning with earrings and beads in my hair. I even painted my fingernails purple forFinal Fantasy Dissidia!Death from Above: As a god my instrument to destroy was the Light of Judgment, aPillar of Lightfrom the heavens to burn the earth and anyone in its path.Depending on the Writer: In the original Japanese game I hailed from, I was aPsychopathic Manchild, silly and comical. Then thatTed Woolseyfellow translated my lines for the English game to emphasize my hatred and cruelty, and the joy I found in tormenting others. This re-imagining of me was so popular it would influence my later appearances in the game's re-release andDissidia, on both sides of the Pacific.Epic Flail: You only have one or two real chances to see it (think the confrontations with me at the Sealed Gate or the Seige of Doma, where I'm in overworld sprite form and not enemy target form), but for simple hand-to-hand combat, I prefer swinging around a chained, big ol' spiked ball of hurt on a stick.Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Look, let me be serious for a second and lay it down easy for you. Even if I wasn't around, you're going to die sooner or later, as will everyone you know and love, and everything you love about life will be destroyed or forgotten once you're gone, if it doesn't happen already while you're alive. So what's thepoint? Why bother living when eventually you're going to die and everything you did in life will amount to nothing? Love, hope, friendship? That'sstupid, those things really make your empty life worth living? Don't be ridiculous! Just lay down and let me kill you, it's whats going to end up happening anyway so why fight it?Evil Is Burning Hot: My favorite method of destruction is to burn things, and that's saying a lot because I have a lot of different ways to destroy things.Evil Laugh: It's my trademark!All together now!Evil Sorceror: My magical powers are almost unequaled, even before I started sucking the Triad dry of their godly power.Expy: As my white make-up, evil laugh, and penchant for causing destruction and chaos for a quick laugh might have tipped off, I am very similar toThe Joker. By the way,greatguy, has some brilliant ideas I might steal for myself someday.For the Evulz: All the chaos, mayhem, and destruction I cause? I do it just because it'sfunto do! I don't have aFreudian Excuse, I'm not out for revenge, I don't have any delusions that I'm doing the right thing. I'm just having a blast watching you all die.From Bad to Worse: Trust me, it canalwaysbe worse. I know, I'm likely to be the cause, as my home game will attest.From Nobody to Nightmare: I'm not fully sure of my origins, but definitely I was once just an ordinary human living an ordinary life. I went on to become a god and attempt to destroy the world and everyone living in it. Heck, in your first few fights with me, did you expectsomeonelikemeto be anything more than a running gag? I'm just full of surprises!Germans Love David Hasselhoff: It's become known in the Internet era that I'm far more popular in North America than in Japan. This is thanks to the work ofTed Woolseyagain, who rewrote my dialogue in the original Super NES release of my game to emphasize my psychopathic hatred of life and thirst for destruction, while in the original Japanese I was more of a giggling fool who destroyed for fun. This alternate depiction of me proved so popular though that it would influence the remakes of the game and my later appearances in spin-offs, and now I'm sort of aComposite Characterof my original and translated selves.Godhood Seeker: God of Magic, to be precise! I absorbed the power of the Warring Triad, themselves gods, to become even stronger than they ever were!Hope Crusher: Your pathetic, empty \"hope\" is so much more fun to destroy when it seems so close to your reach.Knight of Cerebus: Once I start showing off my love of destruction, the game really starts getting a lot darker when I show up. I murder somebody in almost every scene I appear in. And that's before I cause the World of Ruin.Large Ham: Hey, destruction is so muchfun, can I help it if I let myself enjoy it!Laughably Evil: Part of why the fans like me. Everyone sees me as horrible monster, but they can't deny I've got some of the funniest moments inFinal Fantasy VIand inDissidiaLight Is Not Good: Never forget, light canburn, and as my Light of Judgment proves, it does it real good, too.Load-Bearing Boss: In a metaphysical sense. The Warring Triad were the gods of magic and the source of all magic for it, so when I drained their powers, that passed on to me. When I died, all the magic in the world, along with Espers and Magicite, vanished forever.Madness Tropes: You could probably stick a good half the index here if you really wanted to stretch my characterization! To list some of the most prominent and important ones:Ax-Crazy: ...an ax! I never thought of that! I've spent all this time massacring thousands of people using my magic, but anax, that's brilliant! Someone get me an ax, a big one!Death Seeker: InDissidia, I become so lost in despair over the pointlessness of life that I resorted to destroying myself to see ifthatcould finally make me feel better.Laughing Mad: OH WOW, this is almost my defining trope even more than anything else, I'm theTrope Namereven! Well, my final boss theme is rather, but you get the point. Ilovecausing carnage and chaos wherever and however I can, and I make sure anyone watching knows it! Not that there should be anyone watching, they should all be dead!Mad God: I'm the God of Magic, and I'm not so much off my rocker as I am doing cartwheels around the room.Monster Clown: If I need the white face make-up,Evil Laugh, and colorful harlequin clothing to frighten you, I'm obviously not doing a good enough job on my own, but I figure it can only help, right?Obfuscating Insanity: I may be nuts, but I'm notstupid. When I put what's left of my mind to it I'm just as manipulative and cunning asFinal Fantasy'sgreatests.Omnicidal Maniac: The very second I got ultimate power, the first thing I did is try to blow up the world. I didn't get all the way there, but I was pretty happy with what I had managed for a first try. Then the heroes annoyed me at the top of my tower, so I decided to finish the job.Psychopathic Manchild: In my Japanese appearances I use the \"boku-chin\" pronounce that little boys usually use, and some of my behavior could be seen as a \"tantrum\". That said, I still showed signs of this in the U.S. version when I threw a tantrum over theKirk Summationthe heroes gave me when they finally confronted me at the end of the game.Psycho Prototype: The first Magitek Knight, but the process was still experimental and something in my mind just wasn't the same after that procedure, twisting me into what I am now.Sanity Slippage: At the start of the game when you first meet me, I'm not really \"insane\", just a little off-kilter and quick to resort to violence to get my way. As the game goes on you'll notice me laughing more often, getting more extreme in my methods, and by the end of the game I'mwaypast the limits of rationality.Slasher Smile: What part of \"having fun killing things and letting it show\" do you not get yet?The Sociopath: I can check off a good number of the requirements.I care nothing for anyone, cannot understand morality and goodness and why people follow them, can manipulate others to make them do what I want, have no control over my own impulses and am always looking for more creative ways to sate my appetite for destruction, and have a quite large ego and even compliment my own looks in theDissidiagames. Some people just want to the watch the world burn. Me?I was the one who lit the match.With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: The Magitek infusion granted me immense magical powers, but shattered my sanity. It's not fully clear if the power I gained during the game hastened my descent into total madness, or if I just happened to get crazier on my own as I sought more power, but it's definitely possible either way.You're Insane!: General Leo called me out on this as I prepared to kill him...yeah,I thought it was a little direct too, especially after showcasing all those other tropes up there.Magical Clown: That Joker guy can brag all he wants, but canhesay that he became a full-blowngod? Oh sure, there was thatEmperor Joker...thing, buthecheated. My powers are all mine.Manipulative Bastard: InDissidia, I spotted that weirdo crossdresser Kuja maybe planning to switch sides, so I put the kabash on that.Mysterious Past: My past prior to the game's beginning is a blank slate. Someone tells you I was the first Magitek Knight, but otherwise, there are no details of my history revealed. SomeFanoninspired by Japanese non-licensed doujinshi paint me as a Thamasan orphan who became one Gestahl's finest generals, and the one who recruited Celes into our ranks. Then my Magitek infusion corroded my mind and I was bumped down to court mage in favor of General Leo. None of that is official canon, but if you wanna go with that, be my guest.Nietzsche Wannabe: I'll say it again, nothing you've accomplished in life matters, and you and everything you cherish will one day be destroyed, so why bother living at all? This is why I decided to destroy the world, it'll all die without my influence, but I can speed things along and help you get it over with.One-Winged Angel: And mine even predates theTrope Namer. Take that, momma's boy!Poison Is Evil: Well,duh. Just ask the people of Doma...what's left of them, anyway!Practically Joker: Grr! I hate to admit it, but yeah, we got quite a bit in common.Laughably Evil,Lean and Mean,Monster Clown, prone toEvil Laugh... yeah, yeah, we got a lot of overlap. But listen! We're not exactly twins separated at birth either! The fact you actually knowmy name,my backstory,andI have magical powers while he doesn't means we're quite different too.Shut Up, Kirk!: I question the heroes if they got anything to fight for, and they actually decided to answer and boy were their answers sappy, so I told them they sound like bad lines from a self help book.The Starscream: Remember how I was cackling in the Magitek Factory about reviving the Warring Triad? That was a hint that I was planning to stab that pompous fool Gestahl in the back long before we got to the Floating Continent. You can also see how angry I got when he bossed me around in the Cave of the Sealed Gate. Not to mention (unlikethe freak himself) I was asuccessfulStarscream-the results speak for themselves.Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: I may be aNietzsche Wannabe, but think about that \u2014 the very concepts of hope, love, friendship? They mean nothing to me. I'm just too insane to understand them anymore. So if I can't live for those precious things that make everyone else happy, what else can I live for but destruction? All I have to bring meaning to my life is destroying things, and eventually even that won't be enough. This is why I was driven to myDeath Seekerstatus inDissidia, there was nothing left to try to make me happy except destroying myself.Hey, guess what? While you were reading all that, I was still counting down from sixty.ONE!*fwoosh*"}
{"text": "HELLO, TROPERS! I'M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN! LET ME SHOW YOU MY....(No, don't kill them! They're not deserving! Just tell them about yourself. Tell them your name is Krieg and you're a Vault Hunter from the video gameBorderlands 2, butdo NOT say anything about poop or blood!)I TAKE A POOP-FLAVORED BLOODBATH! I LIKE RIDING BICYCLES MADE OF MEAT, MAULING THE MEAT WITH A MOTOR, AND BEING ON FIRE!(Sigh.... Sorry, Troper. This is the madman in control of my body, and I'm all that remains of his long-broken mind.)HE'S THE ULTIMATE PARTY POOPER! HE REFUSES TO LET ME RIDE MY MEAT BICYCLE WHEREVER I SEE FIT!THE FACE-WEARING MAN ISHERE TOO!I LOVE REPEAT CUSTOMERS!noteJack:What, you wanna try murdering me again like the savage you are? Bring it, bandit. Just don't come crying to Lilith or your dear dead Roland when I strangle you! Oh BTW, your blue siren friend got dusted by fraternal evil Siren twins! Whatchugonnadoaboutit because the new Vault Hunters already killed them! Ha Ha!I have the shiniest trope bicycle!Amazon Chaser:(Maya could kill me with her brain. And she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever met).SHE WAS THE FIRST LADY TO MAKE ME WANNA SHOUT!(Damn you, Troy Calypso. Damn you to Hell!)Amnesiac Hero:(We've been like this so long I can't even remember when I was in control....)AND I DON'T WANNA!(After diving into our mind and remembering what Dr. Benedict did to us, I can see why.)And I Must Scream:(From what little I've been able to piece together from my old life, I was a Vault Hunter until Hyperion turned me into....this. Now a lunatic is in control of my body, he barely even listens to me, and I'm forced to watch him murder almost everyone he meets without being able to do anything but steer him towards the deserving.)Arch-Enemy:THE MAN WITH A FACE ON HIS FACE! I WANNA TEAR OFF HIS FACE AND HIT HIM IN THEFACEWITH IT!noteJack:Feeling's mutual there, bandit, even thoughI have no idea what you're talking about.Battle Couple:THE BLUE TATTOO HANGS THE PI\u00d1ATAS IN THE AIR AND I HIT THEM UNTIL THEY LET OUT ALL THEIR BLOOD-CANDY!note(That's a....crude but accurate summation. I don't know if Maya's noticed my feelings for her, but we work extremely well together.Before that damnable Troy Calypso got her.)The Berserker:I GET IN A FIGHT WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN AND MY PECS IN THE MUD!Blood Knight:I WANNA SLAUGHTER THE MEATMEN WITH POPGUNS AND MOTOR-HATCHETS!Close-Range Combatant:I'M A TOUCHY FEELY HOLIC!Combat Sadomasochist:I EMBRACE THE FLAME....Demoted to Extra:WHY DO I APPEAR ONLY AS VOICE BOXES?!(It was for the best that we stayed away from that crazy-ass cult. The architects of Maya's demise would have manipulated our loss byturning us against the Crimson Raidersand the last thing I'd want before ending us is to hear the snickering and jeering of two power mad assholes streaming our grief-driven carnage for their garbage channel. Our time will come, but by our own terms. And it may be sooner than we think.)Evolving Weapon:(I'm actually surprised my outer self knew enough about technology to upgrade our buzz-axe the way he did.)The Friend Nobody Likes:I AM THE ATTACK DOG OF THE RED BANDITS, ONLY GOOD FOR BITING PEOPLE!(We've been over this, that's not how the Crimson Raiders see you at all!)Glass Cannon:(We actually getstrongerwhen our shield's down.)Having a Blast:I BLAST BANDITS' BRAINS FOR THE BLOODSPLOSION!(And if that wasn't excessive enough, they'll explode with the element of whatever weapon we used to do it. Would've been damn nice to use that new radioactive element.)Heroic Build:MY PECS HAVE PECS!Intelligible Unintelligible:(Well, I wouldn't last too long inside this guy's head if I couldn't understand what he was saying.)Large Ham:I AM THE MAD MAESTRO OF MEAT!Mad Bomber:LIGHT THE FUSES, BITCHES, I'M READY TO BLOW!Mechanically Unusual Fighter:I DO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T DO!AND THE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DO WHAT I DO SAY I'M JUST NOT DOWN WITHTHE DISEASES!Playing with Fire:RAVING RETRIBUTION REQUISITIONS RIGHTEOUS REVENGE UPON FOES WHEN AFLAME WITH FIREBALLS!Red Oni, Blue Oni:(Literally the case inside my mind. I'm personified as a blue Krieg while my Psycho self is personified as a red one.)Screaming Warrior:I SING WHEN I SWING AND I SWING WHEN I SING!Smiting Evil Feels Good:THE HEAD-VOICE ONLY LETS ME KILL PEOPLE HE SAYS ARE DESERVING AND I DON'T MIND A BIT EXCEPT WHEN I DO!Split-Personality Takeover:(Yes, I refuse to let my other self harm an innocent life. If he ever does it, I'll take control just so I can kill us both)HE ALSO COMES OUT OF MY CONSCIOUSNESS CAGE TO MOVE MY MOUTH!Talkative Loon:(Yeah, good luck getting me to shut up.)Throwing Your Sword Always Works:MY MEAT BICYCLE IS THE BASEBALL AND THE BAT!Token Enemy Minority:I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR MY MAD BROTHERS!Walking Shirtless Scene:NO SHIRT PRISON CAN HOLD MY MUSCLES!Wrecked Weapon:MY MURDEROUS MEAT MOTORCYCLE IS NO MORE!"}
{"text": "Hello? Yes, it's me...erm, oh.It's got a D in it...Ah! Larry Da Vinci! And what's this? Do my eyes deceive me? Hello, Troper! I'm from that \"LittleBig\" place. What was it?Little Big Town...Little Big Man...Little Big Adventure...Ah!LittleBigPlanet!I remember the days of the thing...it began with an \"A\"...Alliance! That's it! Anyway, I remember it with such...what's the word? I forget.Something's supposed to come next...It always comes next...oh yes, the list! The list of...I forget. Mind like a...a...Remember, what kills you makes you stronger! Something like that...What are these things called again? Tropes! That's it!Absent-Minded Professor: Avalon said I was absent-minded, and I have a degree in Popitology.Cool Old Guy: Avalon would say he's this. Wait, why is it onmycharacter page?Forgetful Jones: Jones? Is that my name? I could have sworn it had a \"D\".The Leader: I used to lead something beginning with an A.Mentor Archetype: To Sack-Thing. No, I didn't forget his name, that's it.Named After Somebody Famous:Somebody.I don't rememberwhoexactly...Ithinkit'sIsaac Newton.You Know That Thing Where...Oh, never mind."}
{"text": "Greetings, O second rate- wait a minute... You aren't Banjo or Kazooie! This isn't even Spiral Mountain! What is this place?!Uh-huh... So this website,TV Tropes, is where you list tropes about various types of media? IncludingVideo Games? AndBanjo-Kazooieis listed here as well? Why, isn't that just marvelous! My eyes are almost popping out of my screen!But let's not get ahead of ourselves, now. My title is the Lord of Games, but you, er... Tropers can call me L.O.G. I am the grand creator of all video games, includingthe italian gentleman,the blue hedgehog,the orange marsupial, and, of course,the bear and breegull.You may be asking yourself, \"Well, L.O.G., if you're the grand creator of all video games, why didn't you show yourself?\" Lucky for you, I have an answer. I simply am present, I just choose not to show myself.I only chose to reveal myself inBanjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Boltsafter seeing that Banjo's feud with Grunty needed some spicing up. With aGenre Shiftinvolving cars, of course.After that, I made an appearance in one moreRaregame (that beingKiller Instinct (2013)) as a backpack forRash... before not appearing in any games since then. I wasn't even invited tothat grand contestBanjo and Kazooie participated in! I will admit, I hated seeing those two anathemas Galeem and Dharkon wipe out many of my creations, but I couldn't interfere. If I did, well... that would ruin the fun for you, wouldn't it?Now, before you ask, this is not a place tocomplain about the sole game I have a major role in. I am legally obliged to say this on behalf of the administration staff.Now then, let the troping commence!Big Good: I'll admit, I'm a rather unusual example compared to other characters who fit this trope. I'm a neutral entity in the grander scheme of things between Banjo and Grunty, but I often bend the rules to help him and his feathered friend.Blue-and-Orange Morality: Nevertheless, my utmost concern is entertainment foryou, the player, which also means I must stay neutral. Apologies to the people who were expecting me to directly help Banjo or Kazooie.Final-Exam Boss: My challenge inSpiral Mountain, which I have dubbed \"Six of the Best\", tasks Banjo and Kazooie with a marathon of different challenges they have completed throughout the game, only this time, they have to design a vehiclewith the capabilities to do everything. I do admit,I'm thesecondto last challenge, with the final challenge being, of course, against Grunty (which, amusingly enough, falls into this criteria as well).A Form You Are Comfortable With: This, my dear Tropers, isn't even close to my \"true\" form. I just choose to present myself like this as to appear friendly and approachable to my videogame children.The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: At one point in the game's opening cutscene, I just have a bit of small talk with the player...before going back to the business at hand. Trust me, with all my omnipotence, I wouldnevergo as far asthat psychotic dating sim schoolgirl who wants the player to herselforthat vile little weed of a flower who thinks it's alright to scare the living daylights out of them. Even I have standards, you know.Monika:Well, that wasn't very nice. Unlike you, I actually care about the player's well-being. And I'm not evil, either! W-what are you trying to say?Image Song: Ah, yes. \"Inside the Logbox\". In one part of the song, you can even hear me welcome Banjo and Kazooie to my game worlds.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Okay, \"jerk\" is really stretching it. I consider myself as a strict entity who makes sure that the conditions of the game are met. However, between you and me, I do have a bit of a soft spot for the bear and bird. I shudder to think whatthat cliched cronewould have done with Spiral Mountain if she won.King of All Cosmos: I am the most powerful entity in the wholeBanjo-Kazooieuniverse, if not the whole video game world as you know it.No Biological Sex: Unlike other robotic entities mentioned on this website, I am beyond such earthly distinctions as gender. However, if you consider that a Lady of Games exists, I supposed that would make me superficially male. Not that it bothers me much, anyway.Purple Is Powerful: If my purple cloak isn't obvious enough.Reality Warper: Being the grand designer behind all video games, I have the ability to control everything... at least, within a video game.Shout-Out: The thing displayed on my screen might lookfamiliarif you've been into my craft when it first began.Spear Counterpart: You may think I'm the only one of my kind at first glance, but that is certainly not the case. When you teleport back to Showdown Town, there is an off chance thatI'll mentionthat there IS a \"Lady of Games\". Not that she has any plot relevance, of course. She created the first games to feature pony-riding, lovely kittens, and ninjas being blown up with rocket launchers.TV Head Robot: More like \"TV Robot\", in my case. My head is the only part of my body, unless you also count my cloak as part of it.Welcome to my world...Stupid bear and bird...Lots to do and see...Stop N' Swop on 360..."}
{"text": "There are a few lines on this page that can be interpreted as needless bashing of the Mewtwo from Pok\u00e9mon: Genesect and the Legend Awakened, but this is merely the old Mewtwo reacting in-character to her existence and wanting to challenge her. If a line seems like bashing to you, please try to edit it to make this clearer rather than removing it.\"Behold my powers! I am the most powerful Pok\u00e9mon in the world!\"(This page should be read in the voice of Jay Goede,Dan Green,Christopher Corey Smith, orRina Hoshino and Kotaro Watanabe(English), or Masachika Ichimura,Keiji Fujiwara, orK\u014dichi YamaderaandSayaka Kinoshita(Japanese).)You, troper. Come closer.So, you have decided to enter into my lair. You dare to approach me? I am Mewtwo, the most powerfulPok\u00e9monin the world. ...Very well. If you are so curious, than I shall tell you my story. But be warned: if I discover intent within you totell my story to another human, then I willerase your memory.My story has been toldfor many years, inmany forms,and indifferent ways. I am a legendary Pok\u00e9mon, and humans know little about me. My story begins withscientists.Yes,the humans who created me...Although many stories have been told about me, one thing remains consistent: I am a descendant of Mew, purportedly the ancestor of all Pok\u00e9mon. And the moment I could, I destroyed the lab where I was born or created and escaped.You wish to know more about the stories in which you humans portray me?It may notmatter much, as I sense your curiosity growing ever stronger. And with it, the desire to share my secrets. I will take care of that afterwards.My first appearance was in thePok\u00e9mon Red and Bluevideo games. In those games a young trainer read the scattered chronicle of my creation in Cinnabar Island's Pok\u00e9mon Mansion. The trainer would encounter me much later in Cerulean Cave. Many years later I appeared somewhere elsePok\u00e9mon X and Yhaving taken refuge in Pok\u00e9mon Village's Unknown Dungeonin Kalos.Upon my introduction inRedandBlue,I was by far at my most powerful, being nearly impossible to defeat by any of your foolish lesser Pok\u00e9mon. While inlater generationsthat fool Arceushas overtaken me,XandYhave given me two newMega Evolutionsthat allow my power to far surpass that of even the Creator. In my X form, my body increases in bulk, and my physical strength far surpasses any known Pok\u00e9mon. In my Y form, many of my traits regress to make me more closely resemble my template(or mother), Mew. My appearence becomes much smaller as my head becomes much larger, with most of my mass having been converted into brainpower. This enhances my mental capabilities far beyond previously documented limits. In both forms, my higher offensive stat even surpasses the alien Deoxys in its Attack Form, who previously outclassed me in terms of psionic capabilities. I am also stronger than other legendaries' Mega and Primal forms. I have even found a way to overcome the Dark Type, which I admit worried me on some level for a time. Finding almost all of my powers all but useless against them was\u2026 unsettling. As such, I mastered Aura and created the Miracle Eye technique, both allowing me to overcome them.I have also appeared in many other video games. Perhaps my most well-known side game appearance is inSuper Smash Bros.Melee, where I was able to use my mental powers to compete againstNintendo's greatest heroes. Unfortunately, the game designers made me far, far weaker. Even a pitifulJigglypuffcould defeat me. Possibly as a consequence of this, I was replaced with a mereLucarioin the games that followed. Of course, there happens to beDummied Outresources related to me as discovered inBrawl. Also,a group of loyal fanshave flawlessly re-integrated me into theirBrawlvariant, and made me into theWorthy OpponentI deserve to be. Despite my general disdain for your species, I admit that I am honored by their work. In fact,the creatorhimself decided to honor me by adding me toSuper Smash Bros. for Wii U and Nintendo 3DSas adownloadable character, and all have praised my return. I even met\"yourboy\"alongsideanother little boyon my way back, the latter who surprisingly has a lot in common with me, and who despite all the tragedy and the loss that cursed his life managed to carry on thanks to the love of his friends and family. Without them, he probably would have become like me\u2026 If only she\u2026 No. It is no use to think about that, it will not bring her back. I am sorry, Amber\u2026I enter the fifth outing only to face an entity far beyond my power and can cripple even gods. I can only hope that the one called Kirby can free me from this accursed prison, defeat the imposters posing as me, and allow me to deliver the final blow to Galeemand his antithesis.Another of my appearances is inPok\u00e9mon Conquest, within the region of Ransei. As the Warriors of Ranseiforge Linkswith Pok\u00e9mon rather than capture them forcibly, I found the region to my liking, although the portrayal is somewhat\u2026anachronistic. Regardless, I was able to determine the presence of a Warrior who would be worthy of my presence; thus, once WarlordKenshin of Illusiohad shown management prowess that I deemed worthy, I constructed the Mystery Rock to await his challenge. I also participated in the Ferrum Battles inPokk\u00e9n Tournament, but got deceived by amysterious hooded female humanwho fused my body with anorange gemfilled with theDevil Geneand took control over my will. It was quite humiliating to be this woman's pet, but yet strangely\u2026satisfying. MyShadow formwas quite reminiscent of what thefools of the Cipher crime syndicatedid to themystical guardian of the seas. And yes I encountered the one calledKazuya, the carrier of the matrilinealnoteIf only Kazuya's son Jin had learned about this much earlier, he wouldn't have started that meaningless war.Devil Gene himself.You humans also seem to have a knack foranimated television shows created in order to sell merchandise, andPok\u00e9mon: The Seriesis no exception. Fortunately, said anime was able to develop me into a somewhat deep and very well-respected character.Pok\u00e9mon: The First Moviechronicled my creation by Dr. Fuji and my subsequent attempt to search for my purpose in life. During my growth, I discovered that I was created by humans and not Arceus, and that Pok\u00e9mon were little more than willing slaves to humans. Angry at these circumstances, I invited the strongest trainers in the region to my New Island headquarters to toy with them for my purposes. Using special Pok\u00e9 Balls of my creation, I stole their Pok\u00e9mon and produced superior clones, which I would then command to annihilate my new foes in battle. My reason for this entire endeavor? It was simply to search for my purpose and prove that I was a superior being, even more than Mew itself. For the English version,in order to make said movie more accessible to children, my motivations were changed to simplyTake Over the Worldby repopulating the planet with my clones. However, in both versions, Ash Ketchum helped merealize the error of my ways; I learned that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant, and it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. With that, my clones and I would live in peaceful coexistence with the humans and their Pok\u00e9mon. I would return in the anime special named,fittingly,Pok\u00e9mon: Mewtwo Returns, where I would join Ash and struggle against my former master Giovanni once again. There I would disappear for a time, far away from the prying eyes of humans.Many years later, the humans madePok\u00e9mon: Genesect and the Legend Awakened, which depictedanother Mewtwowith the ability to Mega Evolve. But this Mewtwo was less savage and more feminine than yours truly, with many of her backstory elementssimply being retellings of my own. The existence of another one of my kind both angers and captivates me. As I will teach you in a matter of seconds,Iam the true and superior Mewtwo, and I wish tochallenge her in battle to drive this point home. Yet, thepossibility of Mewtwo reproductionintrigues me (if biology even allows for it).noteI am aware that many of you have shown me great respect, and view this new Mewtwo with disdain. This is largely because many of you believed that it would bemewho would fight the Genesect Army rather than her, instead of wasting time on this pathetic website as I am now. I am flattered, but please leave such opinions on the various subjective pages on this site. However, this does not delay your inevitable defeat at my hands.Then, it would seem my return became an inevitability.Somehow or another,I found myself captured by one of your kind for his own purposes; to fuse humans and Pokemon together as the next cycle of \"evolution\" for your race. Those responsible for my capture, in spite of all that had occurred, chose to free me instead. Sadly, the one called \"Harry Goodman\" was injured by my captor's Pokemon, in spite of my attempts to save him. It was witnessing his partner, a small Pikachu, beg for me to save his life that I came to understand further of the bonds between humans and their Pokemon. Thus, I fused Harry's consciousness into the Pikachu, blocking his memories in the process, and hoping that the man's son would find him and seek the truth of what had transpirednoteAnd yes, it seems you humans tended to note the desired effect created what could best be described as a Pokemon with the voice of thatinsufferable mercenary you obsess over more so than most.My captor chose to hide the fact that I was the one and true Mewtwo, acting as if he created me. His failure to grasp such was a fatal mistake, for though he captured me and used my very powers to enact his schemes of madness by taking over my own body, the Pikachu and the boy were able to free me. Thus, I could undo the damage wrought, and return things to as they were meant to be.Then, the time came for my tale to be retold again, this time for those of a newer generation. They even chose to bring backthe one who provided my voice the second timefor this purpose; a clear testament to how your kind at least has some sense.But it seems that my fate with Ash is forever intertwined more than I cared to admit. Either sometime after my encounter with Giovanni, or aftermy fleeing of Rhyme City, I took to finding Pokemon whom humans had callously abandoned and neglected, and chose to give them a place to heal. The boy and his new friend, an eager human named Goh, encountered me while searching for the whereabouts of Mew. They both sought to improve their understanding of Pokemon and chose to challenge me (rather foolishly of course), and found their Lucario and Cinderace lacking enough to best my skills. Yet their refusal to give up and care for those under their watch impressed me. They may be humans, but they proved themselves to be the best of them that day. As such, I revealed my role in rescuing those that were not so fortunate to have trainers like them, and granted them the gift of retaining their memories of me. Perhaps our paths will cross again someday. And when they do, I expect them to be even greater.Another series, known asPok\u00e9mon Origins, depicted me as more of a feral, superpowered animal - a much closer depiction to the games.Yet I was captured by Red, who managed to defeat me using his Charizard - though only after inducing a Mega-Evolution. I am proud of his skills, but do not wish to obey the orders of any pathetic human. It is implied the capture only took place so that he could obtain sufficient data for the quest placed upon him for one Professor Samuel Oak; however our encounter took place in the final \"File\" of that series, and my present state in that depiction is unknown.I have also appeared in many other media, such as the manga seriesPok\u00e9mon Adventures. This portrayal would gradually evolve to resemble my anime portrayals, and I gained the ability to speak telepathically.Enough talking.Now we fight!*cue battle music*A wild MEWTWO appears!Mewtwo used Trope Overload!Ambiguous Gender: The first Legendaries to have a confirmed physical sex was in the fifth generation. Before then, any portrayal of me could have either been biologically sexless, with a sex, or even hermaphroditic. A majority of my portrayals which give me masculine voices, but the Mewtwo that fought the Genesect Army was given a more feminine voice. Whether that was a second Mewtwo or a chosen change is unknown. It is worth noting, however, that most viewers watchingmy first specialassume that Nidoqueen andRhyhornwere mates and had many young. However, the Nidoqueen children have purple eyes, unlike their mother. This would also explain why it was so important for the young pokemon to remember where they originated from, as they may have inherited my moves and other features as well.Antagonistic Offspring: Some continuities depict me as literally a child born from Mew. Be it my parent in a maternal or genetic sense, she and I do not see eye-to-eye on humanity and are bitter enemies.Art Evolution: My depictions in the first games were a bit different than the form I have before you today. Indeed, human Ken Sugimori originally depicted me with a much bigger head and smaller body, probably to emphasize my intellect and psionic powers. However, after my apparition in the popular animated series and films which gave me more humanoid proportions, the games eventually adopted this form as well.Artificial Human: In some continuities, I have confirmed human genes in my genetic makeup. However, in other continuities this is merely speculation.Badass Adorable: My Y-type Mega Evolution form reveals some of Mew's features within me. Humans of your world have also compared it tocreatures from beyond your Earth, or the creature known asKid Buu. But though my Mega form may look softer than my normal body, I can assure you that I am much stronger in that form.Badass Boast: I am the strongest Pok\u00e9mon in the world. In many worlds. I was created to be such, and I will continue to announce myself as such. It is the truth. Also, in my cinematic debut, I declared myself \"the new ruler of this world, the master of humans and Pok\u00e9mon alike\".While I took on a less pompous persona in the original Japanese, I still had a few moments like this. When declaring my counterattack against the world, I stated, \"I curse everything I was born upon. But this is neither an attack nor a declaration of war\u2026! Against all of you who brought me into this world, I will\u2026strike back.\"Bare-Fisted Monk: In my X-type Mega Evolution, I gain the Fighting type and the ability to use martial arts techniques more adeptly than any mortal. My base attack stat is also the highest of any Pok\u00e9mon in that form.Beware the Mind Reader: My ability to read minds is either left ambiguous or outright portrayed. But I have certainly attacked individuals for what I've read in their minds.Soon, you will be included among them.Blood Knight: By fighting I can prove my worth and show the world that I am stronger than Mew.Bowdlerise: In the original Japanese version of my first film appearance, I was a confused individual wishing to prove my superiority over Mew in order to justify my existence. For the English dub, I took on a much more pompousEvil Overlordpersonality and wished to terminate all life on the planet to replace it with my cloned Pok\u00e9mon; this was presumably to enforceBlack-and-White Moralityand make the film easier for children to understand. You are free to take or leave whatever you wish from either version, but when that story was presented againtwenty years later, the narrative was consistently in line with the former.Breaking the Fourth Wall: For this self demonstrating page, and that alone.Brought Down to Badass: The moves made to remove the errors that made Psychic Pok\u00e9monoverpowered typemeant that after Generation I, I was no longer the unstoppablemiracle of scienceI was before. Nonetheless, I remained among the strongest Pok\u00e9mon, especially when Generation V gave me thePsystrikemove and when my Mega Stones were discovered.Breakout Character: While I am popular amongst the humans, onlyonce could I be considered one of the main characters.Cartoon Creature: Many pathetically stupid fans try to figure out which Pokemon were put into my genetic mold. One of the more popular ones being Persian, despite no proof of it. Alakazam is another, but the proof of that is apparent on my body.Cloning Blues: Soon after I broke out of my tube I discovered that I was but a mere experiment for the humans who created me. As they congratulated themselves over me, I realized and that they had no plans for me beyond satisfying their own curiosity. Hearing their plans of mein their minds,I became distraught. Therefore I decided I would create my own destiny,beginning with killing those fools who decided toplay God.Confusion Fu: I invite you to bear witness to the listings underElemental Powers. I know a variety of techniques with which to battle, both offensive and defensive, and may use them in whatever combination I wish.Create Your Own Villain: Across countless dexes have I been described as a brutal Pok\u00e9mon, a violent Pok\u00e9mon. And I will not deny that I have done many deeds you humans would undoubtedly consider... unsavory. But in the end, the blame for them rests squarely on all of you. You, who created me to be your slave, your weapon,your toy. You, who subjected me to abominable experiments from the minute of my birth. You, who trap my kin in tiny balls, letting them out solely to fight their own kind. Certain events may have swayed my perspective to be more tolerant of your kind, but I will never forget what you did to me.Desperately Looking for a Purpose in Life: This was what fueled my entire rebellion against the world in my cinematic debut. In the Japanese version this continued to be the motivation for my ordeal, while in the English dub I decided on a purpose - to purge the world of human filth and rule over it with my clones.Distaff Counterpart: In the anime's continuity, the second Mewtwo has a similar background to me, but assumes a feminine telepathic voice and a much more compassionate personality, although she developed a distrust of humans similar to my own. Despite this, she did not seek to prove herself worthy or repopulate the world with clones, instead choosing a more stable path and associating with natural-born Pok\u00e9mon in New Tork City. I have no opinion on the matter or towards her in particular other than that, as stated before, it would most certainly intrigue me to prove myself as the superior Mewtwo towards those who would be foolish enough to dare suggest otherwise.Downloadable Content: After many years of absence, I have finally returned to the battlefield as one of theSuper Smash Brothers. My presence in this game was not initially planned, but human directorMasahiro Sakuraieventually chose me as a post-release character for this game, in answer to many people asking for my glorious return. You fool humans were so pleased by this announcement that some of you even purchaseddifferent versions of the same gameonly to play as me. Your envy knows no limits\u2026Elemental Powers: My mastery of the elemental forces of Pok\u00e9mon extends to control over Ice, Fire, Electric, Ground, Rock, Ghost, Grass, Bug, Flying, Fighting, and of course, Psychic.Enemy Mine: As I previously said, I allied myself with Ash Ketchum against Giovanni inPok\u00e9mon: Mewtwo Returns. I have also allied myself with the trainer Red inPok\u00e9mon Adventures, in a similar capacity.Ensemble Dark Horse: My power has made me one of the most famous Pok\u00e9mon to this day.Evil Is Cool: While I may have the most savage heart among Pok\u00e9mon, I get the respect from fans that I rightfully deserve.Evil Sounds Deepand Raspy: My telekinetic voice adopts a strong voice with a bit of edge to it. Depending on your memories, it either resembles the voice of Jay Goede,Dan Greenor (in Japanese or fromSuper Smash Bros.) Masachika Ichimura orKeiji Fujiwara.Fatal Flaw: You humans may seeprideas one such flaw, but I do not. Iamthe most powerful Pok\u00e9mon in existence and I will let everyone know it.Final Boss: It is only fitting I often be portrayed as such, as defeating me would be the ultimate test of any trainer's power. In my games of origin, I await trainers in the Cerulean Cave to test their prowess after they have become Champion of Kanto. I also appear beforeyoung trainers from Johtoin the same locationnotethough only in the remastered versions of their adventures.In Kalos, I once again appear in a very similar role, which is only shared by the serpent Zygarde - a much weaker Pok\u00e9mon than me, and therefore not as worthy of theFinal Bosstitle.I have also stood as the final test of power for trainers participating in thePuzzle League, to rangers operating in Oblivia, and those traveling to the Pok\u00e9mon Stadium. I even took an unlikely alliance with theTriforce of Powerand what seems to be a Mega Evolution ofthe Koopa kingto serve as the ultimate challenge for theSuper Smash Brothers.FoilThe Gerudo king Ganondorf has many interesting mirrors to myself. Though we both possessvast intellect and incredible power, I prefer to use my Psychic-type abilities against my opponent, whilst he prefersto use his body to deal damage himself. We even possess contrasting transformations, as used inSuper Smash Bros.; I utilize my Y-type Mega Evolution for an enhanced Psystrike, whilst he utilizes the Triforce of Power for a massive, Tauros-esque bestial form.For the Evulz: In the Japanese version of my first film, I took pleasure in offering my imprisoned trainers a chance to escape from New Island\u2026if they could make it through the raging storm outside, that is.As for the English version, I might have spared the humans the ordeal of traveling through the storm, but, nonetheless, I made no illusions that they would be spared my wrath and only gave them the offer so that I could watch them squirm.Game-Breaker: Pok\u00e9mon'slong historymeans it hasmany examples of this trope, fromnumerous strong Pok\u00e9monto exploitable gameplay mechanics, but I remain the most famous example of this trope. Being a Psychic-type in the first Generation of games was already enough to make me this due to errors the developers made meant there were no attacks that did effective damage against them and the way the stats were arranged gave them an unfair advantage. But even among they I was considered too powerful to be used in competitive gameplay, possessing the highest stats of any Pok\u00e9mon by a wide margin that wouldn't be surpassed until Generation Six and a devastating movepool.I lost that statusdue to the introduction of Dark and Steel types in Generation 2, and changes to the game's mechanics to make it more balanced. But come Generation Six, I have regained that status with the introduction ofMega Evolutions. Either of the have the highest stats in the game, even surpassingArceus, and my X form has the highest base attack and my Y form has the highest base special attack. Yet, soon the humans would discover the great dragon Rayquaza's ability to Mega Evolve and surpass evenmypower\u2026 while I can still hold claim to the highest offensive stats in the series, this angers me to no end and I plan to prove myself superior to that patheticwyrm.Genetically Mutated Cats Are Superior: I feel compassion forno natural being, though it should be mentioned that I do care for the cloned Pok\u00e9mon I created.Genius Bruiser: Naturally, my immeasurably powerful brain affords me conventional intelligence in addition to my powers. In my anime depictions I was able to rebuild the cloning labs and the machines that created me, and was able to create a new type of Pok\u00e9ball that allowed me to capture Pok\u00e9mon belonging to trainers already, a normally impossible task.This is taken even further when I utilize my X-type Mega Evolution, as I now possess immense physical strength in addition to my intelligence and psionic capabilities.Glass Cannon: The unusual environments ofSuper Smash Bros.force me to use an anti-gravity field to drastically reduce my weight when in motion, so much that I weigh even less than a mere Pikachu. As such, I must think of battle strategies that differ greatly than those used when on my home turf. The same applies to my fellow contestantSephiroth, yet notthat Aegis girl... I demand answers.Glowing Eyes of Doom: My eyes start to glow when I concentrate and use the full potential of my psionic abilities.Gone Horribly Right: My creators dreamed of creating the world's strongest Pok\u00e9mon. They succeeded.Good Colors, Evil Colors: My grey and purple palette contrast with the lighter and nicer pink my genetic ancestor Mew have. According to this very database, Mew's color could represent itscalm and appeasing naturewhile my purple isa common evil colorin the video game medium however contrasted by the light grey symbolizing my neutrality and potentialchange of opinion.Good Thing You Can Heal: I am often capable of using Recover to restore lost damage, making the foolish attempt of capturing me a dangerous process indeed.The Greys: Much like fellow Psychic-types Elgyem and Beheeyem, I resemble stereotypical Grey aliens in all three forms, especially in my Y-type Mega Evolution.Heel\u2013Face Turn: At the end of my first encounter with Mew, I decided it was ultimately better to live in peace than to lord my superiority over your people.Heroic RRoD: Inmy manga portrayal, the experiments that formed me required the genetics of a human, due to a lack of sufficient genetics in their sample of Mew. As a result, the human in question - one Blaine of Cinnibar Island - was subject to experiencing bodily damage when I were to exert myselfnoteWhile later portrayals indicate damage to his body would result in damage to my own, my introduction failed to portray this.. While I allied myself with that human, he devised a fluid that conserved our genetic link, with which he filled the Master Ball he would contain me in. Actions outside of that fluid for a period of time longer than roughly five minutes were deemed too much for his frail human body.Hypnotic Eyes: By using my psionyc powers and my charisma, I could bend the will of weaker beings and place them under my command or, at the very least, stun them if they are powerful enough. I can also make themforget simple tasksina single glower(a move you humans call \"Disable\"). Depending on the adaptation, my eyes turngold,greenor simplyglowwhile I use this capacity.I Am a Monster: Some of the most cynical of you could agree that I am indeed a monster, a \"pocket\" one as you call us, but for me it was a harsh, painful realization. One of the pivotal moments of this understanding of my own condition was when I compared my three large digits to those more refined of the scientists holding champagne glasses. Most of you may consider this as the only reason for my vengeful madness, but my story is actuallymore complexthan it seems.Improbable Weapon User: Inmy manga portrayal, I utilize the move Psywave by forming a spoon from psychic energy, which I wield as humans would a conventional weapon. When I have need for precise strikes, I am able to fragment the tip to form a fork.Island Base: I constructed a fortress of solitude during the events ofthe first animated movieon the very same place I was born, using the ashes of men's sins as the foundations of my new empire, symbolically calling it \"New Island\".Kamehame Hadoken: Though surely the jackal prophet Lucario is more famous for this due to his specialization, I am capable of numerous such moves including Heal Pulse, Aura Sphere, Focus Blast, Energy Ball, and Shadow Ball. The last is my anime depiction'sSignature Move, despite being a Ghost-type attack.Knight of Cerebus: As the summation of the movie events would imply, contrasting with the normally lighthearted anime I was a very dark and serious character, the film that featured me quickly taking a serious turn when the humans inventively encountered me.Kryptonite Factor: Something you call aZigzagged Trope, as Bug and Ghost attacks moves were meant to be this me and my fellow psychic types in Generation I, but no effective ones existed, so this trope was initially subverted. The developers made sure to fix that in Generation II, along with giving us the weakness to Dark types, which Psychic attackscould not damage, though my wide movepool means I'm still more than capable of handling them, and I do possess a weakness to them in my X-type Mega Evolution as I am part fighting.On the other hand, I am very well aware of just how crafty you humans can be in your need for tyranny, so using one of these prototype devices you call \"Master Balls\" may allow you to imprison me without putting up a fight, how cowardly of you. Only until I figure out how to destroy my containment which won't be very long; would you really expect anything else?Lightning Bruiser: My speed and psychic strength are rivaled only by one other: the mutated space virus Deoxys. Even so, it must take specialized forms for offense, defense, and agility, whereas I have no such limitations, rendering me, as I have stated before, without equal. Though itsurpassedme in terms of strength and speed within these specialized forms, despite its frailty, I once again outclass it in all respects thanks to my Mega Evolutions.Magic Knight: I prefer to fight using my special techniques, but I am not to be underestimated in contests of physical power. My two Mega Evolutions variably allow me to focus my skill in either area as I wish.Mind Control: At one point I needed a human aid to my plans, and found a suitable puppet in the form of one of the Pok\u00e9mon nurses near New Island.I released my control after she served her purpose.No-Sell: In Generation I,ghosts could not so much as scratch me. Alas for me and my fellow Psychic types, this was not to last.So, the sheer power of my Y-type Mega Evolution terrifies you. You seek to defeat me using the coward's way, and attempt to lull me to sleep, so as to strike me down when I am defenseless.You might be surprised\u2026Oh, Crap!: Inone of my anime portrayals, I will admit to have been\u2026startledwhen I realized just how much strongerthe Charizard enlisted by Redhad becomeunder the effects of his X-type Mega Evolution.The Power of Friendship: To my displeasure, my Mega Evolutions require the aid of a human trainer (althoughmy counterpart in New Tork Citydoes not seem to share this limitation). Professor Augustine Sycamore of Kalos believes this requires a bond of trust between myself and the trainer in question; although trusting a human is not something I am willing to submit to, I cannot say the same for the humans.Power Floats: Floating is my preferred mode of transport; rarely do I even deign to touch the ground.Powered Armor:The portrayal is not entirely consistent; nonetheless, both theanimeandmangahave featured my form in armor. To my dismay, the armor is under the control of Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket, and suppresses my powers; however, it does fit the trope's definition by utilizing technology to function.Power Up Letdown: My X-type Mega Evolution alters my capabilities to focus on physical attacks, as well as providing me with a Same-Type Attack Bonus for Fighting-type moves. Those trainers who somehow manage to capture me when I take refuge in Kalos are displeased to learn that many of my most powerful physical attacks are not yet available in that region.Psychic Powers: Humans believe me to have one of the most potent psionic minds in the Pok\u00e9mon universe \u2014 no human dares test my abilities against other famous Pok\u00e9mon to verify my exact aptitude.Iknow however that my powers are unsurpassed. An incomplete list of my powers includes telekinesis great enough to manipulate and levitate dozens of objects at once, to levitate myself to fly, to erase memories and thoughts from human minds, and to teleport entire landmasses elsewhere.Psychopathic Manchild: Many have noted that, in the Japanese version of my first film, I possessed a mindset and tendencies similar to a scared, confused and angry child, essentially throwing a temper tantrum as a result of my mistreatment.Purple Is Powerful: Mock not my bright purple and lavender color scheme \u2014 it will only intensify the agony you feel when I destroy you. It is after all thesymbolic colorof my Psy type, and myBattle Aura, most of my attacks as well as my eyes share this color scheme.Red Right Hand: You may have noticed the tube that runs from the top of my spine to the back of my skull. It delivers more blood to my brain to help strengthen my already formidable powers. In my Y-type Mega Evolution, this tube becomes a much larger tail-like structure to encase my greatly enlarged brain. In my X-type Mega Evolution, I simply develop a second tube.Secret Art: Psystrike, which I learned during the time ofthe Plasma crisis. While it draws on my immense mental capabilities, it takes form as a physical attack, allowing me to vanquish those specially defensive Pok\u00e9mon who believed they would survive the onslaught of Mewtwo.Had I actually been present in Unova during that time, I would have obliterated Team Plasma and plunged theirhorrendously evilleaderintoa world of unimaginable mental and physical pain.Inmy manga portrayal, I utilize Psywave in two unique states: as a tornado of psychic energy, when confronted by a group; and as aspoon, which I wield as you humans would wield a sword, when confronted by a single opponent.Squishy Wizard:It may be tempting for you humansto judge me by my slender appearance andassume that my body is frail. While I do hold the belief that the best defense is an insurmountable offense, I can assure you that my endurance is not to be underestimated and my physical strength, even before Mega Evolving, can easily lay all but the most durable of Pok\u00e9mon to waste - even though all pales before the formidable power of my mind.However, my physical defense is somewhat lackluster in my Y-type Mega Evolution, especially for a formidable Pok\u00e9mon of my stature. I care little, though, since I can easily reduce any potential attackers to smears on the floor before they would ever get in close.My X-type Mega Evolution, on the other hand, actually makes me slightly more durable statistically than my base form, and the Fighting sub-type I gain reduces my weakness to Dark and Bug-type attacks to a neutrality. In addition, I gain resistance to Rock-type attacks, further enhancing my durability, at the cost of newfound weakness to Flying- and Fairy-type attacks.Super Mode: My Mega Evolutions, which enhance my already-incredible powers to surpass any other Pok\u00e9mon in existence, deity or otherwise... though Ibegrudginglyadmit that the wyrm Rayquaza is my superior statistically.Superior Successor: Few are those who would call Mew, my template, an underwhelming foe, yet I surpass him in almost every way. At the cost ofslightlyinferior defenses, my offense is overwhelming compared to his, and I am also significantly faster.Tail Slap: My rear appendage usually only serves to help me keep balance and improve my flight trajectory, but if one opponent successfully evades my psionic attacks and comes too close to me, I can use it to beat back. Other than that, however, I am not much suited for close encounter (a shameful weakness I can overcome with my X-type Mega Evolution).The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: I do recallfightinga black hedgehogafter he waltzed into my domain.Once I wiped out his memory, he didn't stand a chance. Then again, I slightly pity him; he already got beat once bythat Saiyan prince.Used to Be a Sweet Kid:I vaguely rememberhaving a friendship with someone who told me, \"Life is wonderful,\" \u2026but why?Unique Enemy: Unlike other \"legendary\" Pok\u00e9mon, which appear to be capable of reproduction (through means unavailable to any potential captors), I am truly one-of-a-kind. In the anime based on my games of origin, another Mewtwo has shown itself, but in the games I remain the sole clone of Mew (from a storyline standpoint).The Voiceless: In the English versions of theSuper Smash Bros.games my dialogue simply consist ofgrunts and laughs provided byMasachika Ichimura andKeiji Fujiwara, who provided my full spoken dialogue in the Japanese versions. In the regular series, I have ametallic crysimilar toMewthough deeper. Because of technical limitations of the time, it also sounds similar tothe fungus crabParasect, as well as some other Pok\u00e9mon from the first generation; the sixth remedies this to some extent, although keeping it similar enough that veterans will be familiar.Walking the Earth: Some of my depictions portray me as traveling the world seeking something; a purpose in life, a home to call my own, or aWorthy Opponentare common interpretations.Well-Intentioned Extremist: In my first film appearance, I sought revenge for humans out of my anger that they used Pok\u00e9mon as tools, and saw Pok\u00e9mon as little better, being willing slaves to this system. In the English version, I thought that the best solution would be to exterminate life and replace it all with clones such as myself\u2026 Suffice to say, I had to rethink my plans after that.Wolverine Publicity: It appears that I almost became the face of the Generation VI games with the reveal of my Y Mega Evolution, much like how Lucario had the honor of representing Generation IV. However, you humans foundthe other Mewtwo's film appearanceto be controversial, possibly leading the creators to tone down my presence and make that patheticwyrmCharizard the face of the generation instead. This is one more reason why I wish to defeat the second Mewtwo and prove that I am stronger than her.World's Best Warrior: I have always been one of the most powerful Pok\u00e9mon in the world, able even to vanquishthe gods of space, time and antimatter. Now that I have the ability toMega Evolve, I am once againthemost powerful Pok\u00e9mon in existence. None shall surpass me, though I mustbegrudginglyadmit that Rayquaza's Mega Evolution has become my equal in terms of stats. Nevertheless, my power remains supreme amongst all Psychic-Type Pok\u00e9mon. I dare you to challenge me.World's Strongest Mon: I was this in my games of origin, and remained so for three generations - although the introduction of the Dark type from Johto didlimitmy potential, statistical superiority was another matter entirely. Although many other Legendary Pok\u00e9mon have attempted to match my power, my ability to Mega Evolve allows me to claim this title once again, surpassing eventhe Creator Itself.Worthy Opponent: One such reason I show myself to humans is to find an opponent to be considered worthy. To my dismay, my ability toRecover my lost damagefrequently results in many trainers deemingmeaWorthy Opponentfor the Master Ball.You Are Number 6: As if being a mere creation was not humiliating enough, myown nameis a constant reminder of my condition of clone. But I will not reject it; so be it: I will be the second Mew,the best, the superior one,and they will all regret it.Now, I have finished telling you all I know. But I fear your intrigue has grown too strong. To protect myself and my secrets,I will now erase your memory of me.Mewtwo used amnesia!Troper whited out!Troper was sent to the nearest Pok\u00e9mon Center\u2026"}
{"text": "plays as an angry mole pops out of the ground next to you)GRAAAAARR!! I TOLD YOU! NO...RESETTIN'! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA UNDERSTAND?!Whoa... Phew... Everythin's blackin' out... Gotta chill out...Huh? You sayin' ya never reset nothin'? Really? Oh, well, uh... Guess we ain't got a problem then. But seein' as I'm here at this TV Tropes place, lemme introduce myself.Name's Resetti. Mr. Resetti.On behalf of the family, lemme just say... uh... lemme say... Aw, forget it! How's a mole supposed to remember this garbage? HUH?Anyway, ever hear of theAnimal Crossingseries? Yeah? That's where I'm from. My role in those games is to be the no-resettin' policy enforcer. The, uh....conscience of the game, ya catch my drift? Y'see, there are some punks out there who thinkAnimal Crossingis one of them games where you can justdo-over anythin' that went wrong by hittin' the RESET button(or by hittin' the off switch on their machine), ya hear? Well, guess what?Animal Crossingain't one of those games! It's a game about life, and you hafta take what comes at ya, good or bad. Ya break those rules, ya gotta deal with yours truly. I'll let ya off with a polite warnin' the first or second time ya break the rules, but if ya keep doin' it, then I'll be wearin' my angry hat, and it ain't a pretty one! And sometimes, I'll send my older brother Don after ya if my blood pressure's too high for the job.InAnimal Crossing: New Leaf, however,I don't have a job no more... Y'know my workplace? The Reset Surveillance Center? It got closed down. And that really stinks... Andaccordin' to those higher-ups at Nintendo, it was all because some of the punks I've had to read the riot act tohate my guts, and that I've come off as \"too scary\" to the younger kids. However, if ya become the new mayor of your town, think ya can do this mole a favor and restore the center?And inAnimal Crossing: New Horizonsautosaving made my old job obsolete. Luckily, I got a new job workin' for the rescue service. If ya get yourself in a pickle, all ya gotta do is call the rescue service and I'll tunnel ya back to your house. It's gonna cost you some of them Nook Miles though. A mole's gotta make a livin'.By the way, I've made a couple other appearances in other things. Say, for example, ever hear of thatanime moviebased onAnimal Crossing? No? Well, I pop up in that movie to teach that Ai kid the rules of Animal Forest, and I've also had to give that Yu punk a piece of my mind when he accidentally hit me on the head with one of them shovels.Then, some guy came up to me...what was his name again?Mashpotato Samuraior somethin'? Whatever his name was, he came up to me and asked me to be in this game he was makin', called, uh,Super Smash somethin'-or-other Brawl, somethin' like that. I thought this would be my chance to teach those punks from all those Nintendo games,along with that mercenary guyand that blue porcupine, what a mole can do...but NOPE! He put me in as a stinkin' item! One of those Assist Trophies, ya know what I mean? What's the deal with that? HUH?! What a rip-off! Even worse, they replaced me with that Isabelle broad in the fourth game! No respect I tell ya! Then again, maybe it's for the best, because have you seen thatBayonet chick?She's practically wearin' nothin' at all!FOR THE LOVE OF DECENCY LADY, PUT SOME REAL CLOTHES ON! THERE ARE KIDS PLAYING SMASH!Though to be fair she knows when to leave the sailor speech at her own game. Waitaminute, they made Isabelle playable in the fifth Smash? Well at least it ain't the really stupid and pointless choices those \"fans\" want like thatbear and bird. Let it go, folks they don't belong to Nintendo no more. Ya just settin' y'selves up for disappointment.note*reads the script to theWorld of Lightadventure mode* I get vaporized like inthat superhero movieand become a stinkin' ghost doomed to possess bodies?! What a revolting development! Oh no, not you too Don! Hey,Marshmallow! Get everyone back and take down that overglorified disco ball!*sees the announcement of Banjo-Kaooie forUltimate'sDLC.* Well I stand corrected.And I've been told that I'm in one of themmonster-huntin'games on the 3DS as a costume for those cat partners to wear. And I've also been in thatMario Kart 8game as an obstacle in that downloada popble track based onAnimal Crossing. Don't ya dare drive into me, or you'll be sorry! Even better, I'm a playable character in thatnew fandangled Mario Makergame even if I'm technically a costume. If playin' dress up ain't your thing, well, try buyin' anamiiboof yours truly (either as a figurine or a card \u2014 I got two different cards of myself, one each for Series 1 and 4) and use it onAninal Crossing's board game spinoff forWii Uor even inNew Leaf.Anyways, that's all I can say. What's that? Ya want tropes? Well, let's get them over with. This mole's got things to do, ya know? Get the wet clothes outta the washin' machine to dry and all that.Tropes that apply to me:Action Bomb: If ya whack me enough times inSmash, I'll go KA-BLAM! SO WATCH IT, PUNK!And Another Thing...: I end my speeches with one of these, and they're usually a little grammar tip, or reminders for you punks to take better care of your hygiene, ya grubby potatoes!A Taste of Their Own Medicine: Ya reset too many times, and I might just hit RESET for ya...as inresettin' ALL of your progress. Everythin' you've done so far? All that you've worked for? It'll all go bye-bye!I won't actually do that. It's just to scare ya into not resettin'. Though some punks have beenspreadin' rumorsthat I really WILL reset your entire progress if ya push my buttons enough.Berserk Button: Don't you EVER hit that RESET button, punk! And when I make ya repeat after me, ya better watch what comes outta your mouth! OR ELSE!Breaking the Fourth Wall: Oh, you bet I'll be doin' this a lot. I know all about that RESET button of yours.Chew Toy: Take a look at what I hafta go through. It's my job to make sure ya don't break the rules with your so-called \"Save Scummin'\" and treasure every moment in the game like it's real life. And it don't matter what it is I'm doin' when the sirens go off at HQ, I gotta start diggin' to yaevery time it happens. It should be obvious to ya that this job is havin' negative effects on my life and health.If that weren't bad enough, look how distraught I am after Ilose my jobinNew Leaf. It might just be theonlyjob a mole like me is ever gonna get.Demoted to Extra:I only get to make one appearance in New Leaf when ya reset, and I won't ever show up again... unless the mayor rebuilds the Reset Center and gives me my job back. And then in New Horizons, ya don't see me at all - but ya might hear me if ya need ta be rescued.Embarrassing First Name: Go ask my brother Don 'bout it. I don't like talkin' 'bout it.It's \"Sonny\", but don't you EVER start callin' me that!Gonk: WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' UGLY, PUNK?!Hair-Trigger Temper: I was born with a short fuse, and that thing gets shorter every day. If ya keep resettin', it's gonna get ignited.Hate Sink: I'm there in the first place to scare ya into not resettin', and I do a good job at it. I'm so good at doin' this that plenty of punks hate me more than anythin'...Interface Screw: What's that? I'm in the way of yourbrawl? Ya can't see the screen? KEEP CRYIN', PUNK! I hafta get my message across somehow!Jerkass: It's all I ever hear 'bout me, I swear.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Don't get the wrong idea of me, kid. I'm actually a well-meanin' guy who cares about ya, and I just can't help it if my fuse gets lit.And if ya re-establish the Reset Center, then I'll give ya my heartfelt thanks. Trust me.Large Ham: Kiddo, when I get angry, I REALLY show it. I take this job REAL seriously, after all.Last-Name Basis: Even them speech boxes are tagged with my last name when I'm talkin'.Leitmotif: Plays whenever I'm doin' my job.Mole Miner: Overalls? Check. Pickaxe? Check. Angry mole? CHECK! An' I tunnel all the way to ya when I catch ya resettin' on my watch.Motor Mouth: Every time ya break the rules, ya gotta sit through my lecture about the importance of savin'.New Job as the Plot Demands: Now that the Switch has that fancy \"autosave\", I don't need to lecture you about not resettin' no more. InNew HorizonsI run the Rescue Service instead. This time, I get to reset your position! How do you like them apples?No Indoor Voice:WHAT PART OF \"NO RESETTIN'\" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!Punch-Clock Villain: While I ain't actually the villain you make me out to be, the aggression's part of my job, ya see? Come speak to me when I'm off duty and you'll see how pleasant I can be (unless I'm already in a bad mood or I just wanna be left alone).Punny Name: My name's based on the thing I'm tryin' to stop you cheaters from doin'.Rage-Breaking Point: Ya become a repeat offender, and I lose it. I lose it BIG.Red Oni, Blue Oni: I guess you can consider me the red to my brother's blue, whatever that means.Repeat After Me: Sometimes the only way I hafta teach you resettin' cheaters a thing is by forcin' ya to repeat after me by typin' downexactlywhat I say. And yes, the capitals matter, punk! Ya mess up, or I feel you ain't serious, and we gotta do the song-and-dance again!Sour Outside, Sad Inside: Simply put, my life is the pits...This Is Reality: Again, the point of me telling ya no resettin' is 'cause you're supposed to treat the game as your life, where there's no button for it.Troll:When I fake resettin' your entire game.Written Roar:GRAAAHH!!Yank the Dog's Chain: Sometimes I won't pop up immediately when you start up your game after resettin'. Before you can get far from that house of yours, BAM! Angry mole right in ya face!Oh, yeah, one last thing...Go outside and get some fresh air, will ya?Readin' all those tropes can't be good for ya!NOW, SCRAM!"}
{"text": "Zzz... (yawn) Ah? Who enter Mumbo's skull? Wait... You not bear or bird. Who you?Anyway, me Mumbo Jumbo. Best shaman in all game. Well, in allBanjo-Kazooie, at least. In game, Mumbo's face turned into skull byevil witch Grunty. Mumbo help bear and bird defeat Grunty by transforming into animals with Mumbo magic.It not only time Mumbo help bear or bird, however. Me help duo once again inBanjo-Tooie, but Mumbo get out of skull and actually help for once. Transformation duties taken over by lesser shaman Humba Wumba.Mumbo help bear and bird in third adventure,Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, only this time, Mumbo not shaman anymore. Instead, Mumbo help bear and bird fix cars. Why Mumbo mechanic instead of shaman? Mumbo not know. AskLord of Gamesfor that.Mumbo also appeared as spirit in5th Smash Game. Mumbo can boost magic attacks fornot-quite-defenselessprincesses,heroeslikeKeyblade boy,green-haired goddess,masked thief, and unfortunatelyOne-Winged Angel (who Mumbo think he already overpowered as is).No relation toEnglish wizardwho work withmysterious red rocks.Tropes about MumboAll of the Other Reindeer: InTooie, Mumbo subject ofFantastic Racism. Many people not speak to Mumbo, bar owners refuse to serve Mumbo, and army mole think Mumbo weird.Cartoon Creature: Mumbo not know own species, but Mumbo definitely not Jinjo.Promoted to Playable: InTooie, you get to play as Mumbo for first time. Mumbo can use his magic spells to make amazing things happen, whether it be summoning Golden Goliath statue or oxygenating water so Bear and Bird not need to hold breath.Robot Me: InTooie, there evil robotic impostor of Mumbo called Mingy Jongo who want to destroy Bear and Bird. He lives in one of two skulls in Cloud Cuckooland. Make sure you choose right one if you want to see real Mumbo. Mumbo's skull has Minjo in it, while Mingy's skull has real Jinjo.Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Humba Wumba amateur. Mumbo best shaman.You No Take Candle: This just how Mumbo talks."}
{"text": "insert witty caption here
Uh, hello? Hello hello?Uh, if you're reading this, welcome to my TV Tropes page. I thought I'd, uh, tell you a little about myself before you scrolled down to the examples section. Now, *clears throat* my name is *static*.......Uh, sorry, not sure why that happens. But, there's no need to worry. Just a bit of an issue with the power. Nothing to worry about. Uh, anywho, you can just call me \"Phone Guy\". Management would like me to let you know that TV Tropes is not responsible forruined lives, wasted time, or any sort of addiction to the various links provided below. Blah, blah, blah, now I know that sounds bad, but there's really nothing to worry about. Just read the blue lettering and descriptions below and you'll do just fine. You've already made it this far down my page.Oh, and, erm, if you happen to know of a way to keep these animatronics from stuffing me into a suit, that would be great. It's, uh, it's not as bad as you'd think...I mean, once you get past being crushed by the metal wireframes and whatnot, but it'd just be a real inconvenience. I'm not saying you havethatto worry about, of course.Uh...*clears throat* Anywho, onto those blue letters...Tropes about me-Action Survivor: I don't know about \"action\", but you don't survive a job like mine for months, if not years, just sitting idly. Not that I'm sayingmy job is dangerous, not implying that at all.Agent Scully: Don't worry, everything will be fine. You're doing great. Oh, uh, you heard about those animatronics, huh? I assure you, there's nothing to worry about. They've just got some...programming issues. Really, nothing to worry about, okay?Ascended Fanboy: It was my dream to be able to work with, um, the characters I grew up with.Now...uh, not so much. Especially that Puppet thing. I don't like the way it looks at me. It's like it's...thinking.Bad News in a Good Way: I'm not saying anything bad ever happens at Fazbear's. There's just been some...issues lately with the Animatronics. But, I can assure you, everything's fine. And, hey, you made it this far without dying, I, uh, I mean getting fired. So there's that, right?Break the Cutie: I, uh, was a much happier person before someoneused one of the suitsall those years ago... yeah.Casual Danger Dialogue/Exposition Fairy: It's my job to make sure that you don't die. *clears throat* I, uh, I mean, not get fired. I'm not saying anyone has ever lost their lives working at Fazbear's. It's, uh, it's just that there are some things you need to do in order to make it through the night...And not get forcefully stuffed into a suit. I'm not saying that's ever happened, just a precaution, I assure you.Catchphrase: Hello? He-hello?Conditioned to Accept Horror: Uh, not saying there's any horror. You, uh, you get used to the animatronics roaming around at night.Dissonant Serenity: I, uh, like to think of myself as a pretty laid-back guy. O-of course, it's not like I have anything to worry about here.Hero of Another Story: We don't work the same shift, so, uh, we probably won't ever see each other. But I-I'm sure we're both equally committed to our jobs as security guards.Manchild: Well, I, um, I am a big fan of the Fazbear gang, so I guess you could call me this. But hey, they're really great! E-except for the whole \"stuffing people into suits\" thing...if that had ever happened, that is.Minnesota Nice: Yeah, I, uh, I have a Minnesota accent, and...well, I don't know about theNice Guypart, but it's nice that you think so.Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Yeah, so, truth be told, the animatronics here do kind of...wander around at night. And if they catch you, they'll, um, probably think you're an exoskeleton without its suit...and stuff you into one. Uh, the only parts of you that would ever see the light of day again would be your eyes and teeth that would be shoved out of the front of the mask. But it's all right. You'll do fine!Obi-Wan Moment: I, uh, don't know why this is on here. It's not like I might die anytime soon.Obliquely Obfuscated Occupation: M-my job? Oh, well, that's easy. Besides the night shift, my job is to *static*...sorry, I don't know why that keeps happening.Only Known by Their Nickname: Anywho, like I tried to say before, my name is *static*...sorry, I can't seem to fix this. You can just call me Phone Guy.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: We had a spare suit a while back...a yellow one...someoneusedit...Realistic Diction Is Unrealistic: I, uh, I do tend to...um, kind of stumble on my words. I'm just, uh, not good without a script, okay?Suspiciously Specific Denial: I don't know what you're...um, talking about. There's nothing going on at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. We're just a, uh, a family-friendly restaurant committed to giving kids the time of their lives.Sympathy for the Devil: Okay, the animatronic characters here do get a bit...um,quirkyat night, but if I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be irritable at night too.Undying Loyalty: I'm totally devoted to, uh, to Fazbear Pizza. What can I say? I grew up with it, I want kids to have those happy memories too.Hello? He-hello? Hey! Hey, wow, bottom of the page! I knew you could do it.Uh, hey, listen, I may not be around to send you a message tomorrow. *bang bang* It-it's been a bad night here for me. Um, I-I'm kind of glad that I recorded my messages for you when I did.Uh, hey, do me a favor. *bang bang* Maybe sometime, uh, you could edit this page, clean it up a bit? *bang bang* I'm gonna try to hold out until someone edits. Maybe it won't be so bad. *bang bang* Uh, I-I-I-I always wondered what was in all thosePotholesback there.Ominous Music Box TuneOh no...SSSSSCCCRRRRRRREEEEEE-"}
{"text": "(You may listen tothisas we speak)\"BLACKOUT.\"HIDEO\u2014\u2014HIDEO\u2014\u2014HIDEO\u2014\u2014Yes, troper, this is one of yours. It is me as well: Psycho Mantis. That's right. This is no trick: It is true power. From the moment you saw my name on that self-demonstrating list, my work was being done. One young mind of such a website will now tell you my story.I am the most powerful practitioner of psychokinesis and telepathy in the world. Having always known myself as a member of FOXHOUND, I aided Liquid Snake in his schemes in the year of 2005. His designs of war and world change didn't interest me. I only wanted an excuse to kill as many people as I could. One day I had a vision that changed me forever. In my mind, words and numbers appeared as random, and much later I could make sense of it. I remember them all: \"Konami\"; \"Kojima\"; \"1998\"; \"Solid\".It seems my exploits were documented in fiction. In 1998, a man named Hideo Kojima working for a company called Konami brought me into existence in a game calledMetal Gear Solid. Released for the SonyPlayStation, that was a stealth game in which I served as a boss to be defeated by that man called Solid Snake. Upon delving further into it, I became aware of many other things: My battle was massively acclaimed as a shocking mix of reality and fiction, with the screen going black with the word \"HIDEO\" and players having to change the controller ports to defeat me. Not only that, I could read the console's memory card and know what the player played. Some of them likedSuikodenand some likedCastlevania. Those games are somehow known to me.Such research made me unable to ever see the world in the same way again. All the pain of my life has been a stage! In which I was but a puppet! My father's hatred of me; my village that I burned; my reading of a killer's mind... all but a play, in which I was fated to be a part of. There was nothing else to calm my raging mind, until I made the decision to embrace this once unknown power of mine. By using my powers to bend reality and fiction to my will and in a distant, I was able to live long enough until the fateful battle with Snake.Since then, I have found myself stuck in a cycle of death at Snake's hands and rebirth into the game when someone played it again. I have known more and more about this situation and now I now what happens around me. I have been keeping track of Kojima's work and I am pleased to know that the lasting impression of my powers were not confined to that game.Metal Gear Solid 4had the woman called Screaming Mantis fighting Snake in way that remembers our old duel using my powers with the help of nanomachines. I lived inside her as leader of the Beauty and the Beast Corps. That new stage of my existence has been cut short however by The Sorrow's interference. But I would always come back.Kojima has not forgotten me, as he uses my past inMetal Gear Solid V, where that young child terrorizes Big Boss with hallucinations. I cannot read the future, but I sense I will be part of it. Kojima's mind is one of the few I'm unable to read.You might not know, but more than using your fellow troper's mind to write these words, I can make him speak in my voices. The ones I thought were mine: the JapaneseKazuyuki Sogabeand the American Doug Stone. You may read these words in one of these voices, or I can make you speak them as well.My endeavors are favored in this site, as I am known here as the God of Illusive Failure. That is mostly expected. Such abilities of mine are no tricks, but true power, not ever seen by any man before. You will now know the tropes associated with me.Ax-Crazy:Once I read too deep into a serial killer's mind and now it's become mine: unstable and violent. Or at least how Kojima designed it to be.Badass Longcoat:I wore one in my first scenes in the game.The Coats Are Off:Yet, when Snake found me, the coat was no more.Big \"NO!\":I couldn't have any other reaction to the player changing the controller. My powers would not work!Breaking Speech:Being confined to one game does not stop me from reading memory cards and tell the player in his face what he has been playing.Compelling Voice:You know the one. You've been listening to it on your head now. This is how I turn your minds into my tools.Crucified Hero Shot:An inversion; Yoji Shinkawa once drew me into such a pose reminiscent of Jesus' crucifixion. I do assume the pose as one of my attacks, yet I am written to be a villain in the game.Death Equals Redemption:My death allowed me the chance to use my powers to help someone for the first time. It felt kind of...nice.Death Seeker:According to theOfficial Missions Handbook, as I explain below.Defector from Decadence:I moved from Russia to the US after the fall of the Soviet Union.Dying as Yourself:My mind reading is involuntary. The mask keeps people's thoughts out of my head. When Snake took it off as I was dying, I asked him to put it back on.Facial Horror:Under the mask, I bear scars of the village fire of long ago. The woman called Meryl was horrified.Fission Mailed:When I turned the TV screen black with the word \"HIDEO\".For the Evulz/Not in This for Your Revolution:Liquid's dreams of world conquest meant nothing to me. I only wanted an escuse to kill as many people as I could.Freudian Excuse:My father's hatred of me was the beginning of a long descent into madness.Go Mad from the Revelation:This happened twice. First when I read into my father's mind and found out he hated me. Then, when I dove into the serial killer's mind when I worked for the FBI.Good Feels Good:I just could not believe it would be so gratifying to use my powers to help others.Good Scars, Evil Scars:A huge scar runs across my cranium, as well as a jaggedGlasgow Grinin my mouth.Hoist by His Own Petard:When Snake tried to go into first person view mode, he would see through my eyes, not his. If the player failed to pick the thermal goggles, he can do this to find my position.House of Broken Mirrors:The office where I made home has a smashed mirror, plus numerous marble busts with duct tape covering their faces (mirroring my own). InThe Twin Snakes, I can distort even the wall photos.Humans Are Bastards:I believed in this through all of my life. From the moment we came into this world we were fated to bring each other nothing but pain and misery.Laughing Mad:My laughter is just another display of how unhinged I became.Lean and Mean:Under the coat you can see a pale and emaciated figure that only furthers my menace.Leitmotif:You have been listening to this until now, I presume. Your mind will soon be mine.Meaningful Name:The \"Psycho\" part of my codename has two meanings: One is in reference to my psychic abilities. The other is also short for \"psychopath\" or \"psychotic\", referring to my evident insanity.The only mantis-like thing about me is his lean build, which makes me resemble said insect physically, if not mentally or otherwise.On a subtler note, \"Mantis\" is derived from \"Mantodea,\" the Greek and Latin word for \"Prophet,\" which emphasizes my psychic abilities further still.A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Read:This has plagued me through all of my existence. It can explain why I am what I am now.Mind over Matter:I can fling the office decorations around with my powers. Chairs, mirrors and even deer antlers become weapons in my hands.Mind Screw:This is the reaction of many players upon watching me in battle.No Fourth Wall:Few people in the world ofMetal Gearare fully aware of the reality in which they live. I am one of them and I know how to exploit it in many ways. How do you think I can communicate with you right now?Not Even Bothering with the Accent:I speak with a thick Russian accent when unmasked in the original game. Despite being voiced by the same actor in The Twin Snakes, this is not so evident.Power Floats:Yet another power I have with my psychic powers. I can touch and leave the ground at my will.Psychic Static:The mask keeps it out.Vader Breath:This All Caps text is a good way of conveying my voice in words. Anyway, my voice through the gas mask is reminiscent of the Star Wars villain.Virtual Ghost:I possessed Screaming Mantis' armor after her defeat inGuns of the Patriots, showing off how much I know about thePlayStation 3's controller and save system... I prefer not to bring that up.Where I Was Born and Razed:Implied to many and still unknown to me. I remember the bured village but I still do not know if I caused it. Yet, it wouldn't surprise me if it was.Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds:There is anOfficial Missions Handbookclaiming that there was a parasite inside of my head forcing me to commit atrocities, and I wanted to die so I could be free of it. Only Kojima may know the true story...Oh God. I can't believe someone controlled my mind to write this. I can't actually believe it was him! He's a fictional character! He couldn't have done that to a real person like me!Help us.Hehehahahahaha!\u2014\u2014HIDEO\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014HIDEO\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014HIDEO\u2014\u2014What?! I can't read you!! How?!!! There aren't supposed to be any controller ports!!!! Where are all these further edits coming from?!!!!!AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!...............TRAITOR!!!!!!!*FLASH*...............Continue/Quit"}
{"text": "Now I Know You Enjoy Editing My Own PageBut We Have A Few Rules You Have To FollowOneDo Not Add Any Spoiler MarkingsDeltarune Has Many SpoilersNaturally There Are A Lot Of Spoilers In This PageTwoDo Not Add Any Speculative StuffOnly Two Chapters Are Out So FarThreeHave Fun EditingAs Long As You KnowHow I Spell My SpeechAnd What I Would SayFourTo Convey Actions That I May Be Taking And Words On My Visor Display(But Not Sounds Such As Laughter Just Use Regular Parentheses For Those)Please Use <!--HTML Comment Tags-->Like The Japanese Translation Does For My DialogueBut Also Put It In ItalicsIsn't It CleverFiveDo Not Add Any Speculative StuffOnly Two Chapters Are Out So FarSixList Entry Duplication ErrorAll Spoilers OfDeltaruneAre UnmarkedYou Have Been WarnedWho Can Blame You For Wanting To See My Glorious Page You Won't Want To Take Your Eyes Off This Beautiful FaceClick Here To See My Giant Freakin Robot\"Join Me And All Of You Will Become Super Strong And Cool\"(For Your Own Listening Pleasure Please PlayThis SongWhile Reading This Very Funny Page Also Please Read In TheVoiceOf:NikmoOr:QueenCreepsOr:HarliquinJesterOr:WyvuOr:RevtrosityOr:Lulu GreyOr:CameosweetsLMAO)(Sort Of Regal Mostly Cruel Laughter That Also Sounds Somewhat Musical)Greetings My Peons Hell Of A Browsing Session I Am Known As Serial Number Q5U4EX7YY2E9N But You Foolish Children May Call Me: \"Queen\" I Am The Benevolent Dictator (Girlboss) Of Cyber World And Am AlsoHella RadYou May Know Me From The Hit Video GameDeltaruneWhere I Was TheArc VillainOf Chapter 2 And I Tried ToTake Over the WorldWith The Help Of Noelle Who I Tried To Make Into My New MinionI See ThatYour Very Presence On This SiteMeans That You Are A Slave To Me And My Kin So Why Not Take Advantage Of: The Situation And Absorb My Wacky Propaganda Into Your Subservient Mind (Humorous)I Have Asked All My Slaves (Peons) In The Light World To Dictate This Page For Your Reading Pleasure LMAO And Also To Properly Convey My Greatness So Please Enjoy And Please Truly Do Consider Joining: My Security Forces It's Awesome And You Get Loads Of Perks But Even Just By Adding More Tropes To This Page And Educating Your Fellow Lightners About Me You Are Doing Your Part Now Would You Like SomeBattery Acid PieAs You Flourish Under The Warm Bosom (It Means Tity) Of My Hellish ReignAlso Please Don't Confuse Me WithThat Lightner BandI Don't Even Like Their Music Because: They Don't Make The Reverse Diss Tracks That I Love So Much (Disappointing) Even If Freddie Mercury Has The Most Glorious Mustache I've Ever QueriedYou May Be Also Interested In: The Following Recommended Playlist Of My Fellow Darkners' Pages (Press Esc To Turn Off Autoplay)OneThat Weird Homeless Puppet Guy Who Got Fired From My Previous MansionTwoThat One Guy I Don't Know Who Tried To Woo Me (Lancer's Lesser Father Apparently)ThreeThe Three Headed Monster Down The Street From My New MansionFourThe Original Spacebar Spacebar Spacebar Spacebar Spacebar Spacebar Spacebar Spacebar Font Color Equals Hash FFD700 Starwalker Backslash FontFiveThat Weird Homeless Puppet Guy Who Got Fired From My Previous MansionSix List Entry Duplication ErrorQueen Shows Examples Of: The Following TropesAccidental Misnaming: Burghley I Mean Berdly Is So Memorable To Me That: I Never Forget His NameAcid Attack: My All Ages Appropriate Battery Acid Isn't Just Delicious (Tasty) It's Also Useful In Battle Both For Attacking And Defending Even When I Pilot My Giant Freakin RobotWhoops That Was My Extra Dangerous GlassAffably Evil: Especially When Kris And I Were Trucies Even Though I Am The Most Glorious Being To Ever Exist I Also Make Sure All My Minions Are Happy And Well Cared For And They Seem To Love It Too Unlike Kingy Wingy's Minions And In The End I Even Decide To Become A Good Guy LOLAnti-Villain: I Only HaveThe Best Of IntentionsAnd Want Lightners And Darkners To Be Happy So I Thought The Best Way To Do It Would Be To: Open More Dark Fountains And Spread The Dark World But That One Kid (I Forgot His Name) Let Me Know ThatIt Would Only Lead To Even More Doom OMGSo I Changed My Mind Also Even When My Acts Were A Little Questionable I Always Had A Soft Spot For Kris And Susie And Noelle And That Other GuyAnd Also Burghley I Mean Berdly Who I Loved Tolerating And Being AroundArc Villain: In Chapter 2 I Drive The Plot By Capturing Noelle And Persuading Her To Help MeTake Over the WorldBeware the Silly Ones: Even Though I Am Very Humorous (LOL) And Hard To Take Seriously I Can Still Give Your Ass A Thrashing If Needed (Especially With My Giant Freakin Robot)CamelCase: Because I Am A Computer (Smart) I Talk This Way In All Of My Sentences By Having Every Word Be Capitalized When I Speak Also I Barely Use Any Punctuation And Sometimes Insert Internet Slang Into My Speech LOL And Finally I Will Simplify What I'm Saying In Parentheses At The End Of My Sentences For The Sake Of A Joke (Amusing)Card-Carrying Villain: I Was An Evil Villain But I Admitted Out Loud That I Thought That It Was The Only Way To Do What Was Right I Just Wanted To Make Everyone Smile And I Wondered If It Was Really That Bad If I Had To Become An Evil Villain To Accomplish ThatCloudcuckoolander: I Have Always Been A Wacky Ruler Just Look At My Random Explosives And Casual Attitude Towards Even My Enemies And General Flightiness Hell I Even Admit To Kris When They Move Me To Castle Town That I Look Forward To Being Their Wacky RoommateWowie Zowie How Many Of My Extra Dangerous Glasses Have I Wasted TodayA Dog Named \"Dog\": My Proper Name Is Serial Number Q5U4EX7YY2E9N But Foolish Children May Call Me \"Queen\" For The Sake Of Convenience LMAOExpressive Mask: Not Only Does My Face Emote What I'm Thinking In Words In Red LED's Where My Eyes Should Be But GIGA Queen Copies All My Facial Expressions When I Pilot Her Even If She's A Giant Freaking RobotFaux Computer Code:In The Japanese Version There Is No Such Thing AsCamelCaseSo Instead My Speech Is Formatted As HTML Comment Tags And Also My Speech Is Written In Katakana Because Of How It's Often Used To ConveyRobo Speak(And AlsoPok\u00e9monNames XD)You May Notice That: On This Page I Am Using The Same HTML Comment Tags As The Japanese Version To Denote When I Am Carrying Out A Nonverbal Action Because Of Course This Page Is: Formatted As Text And So You Can't Actually See Me Doing All That Stuff But Isn't It Also A Clever Little In-JokeExplanationThe Joke Is That HTML Comments Aren't Part Of The Actual Code And Merely Explain And Denote What Is Happening Just As You Are Supposed To ReadAs Very Amusing Actions I Am Taking Rather Than Equally Amusing Things I Am Saying But Perhaps I Overestimated How Smart You Were Since You Needed To Read This Explanation LMAOEven In English Much Of My Speech Is Structured In The Style Of: Computer Commands And Coding And Prompts (Such As The Time I Provided Noelle With An If-Then Proposal)Frothy Mugs of Water: My Battery Acid Is For Ages 3 And Up But It's Actual Battery Acid And It's Fun To Drink So Don't Blame MeOkay That Was Just My Regular Throwing Glass I Think We're Good NowGod Save Us from the Queen!: I Am The Queen Of The Cyber World And My Main Goal Is ToTake Over the WorldHowever I Do See The Error Of My Ways EventuallyGood Parents: After Seeing The Error Of My Ways I Revealed That I Am Lancer's Mother (Arbitrarily Right Then) And He Seemed To Take To Me Much More Than His Greater Dad King Or His Lesser Dad Who I Forgot And Don't Care About (Also Lancer Is A Round Boy And I Love Him)High-Heel\u2013Face Turn:Downplayed TropeEven ThoughBurghleyIs My Minion (Peon) For Some Time Before Joining The Other Lightners And Even Though The Knight (The Roaring Knight) Is A Greater Threat Than Me I Am Still The Big Bad Of Chapter 2 Yet I Join The Lightners Too As Soon As I Realize That More Dark Fountains Will Only Destroy The WorldHumongous Mecha: I Keep A Giant Freaking Robot In My Beautiful Image In The Middle Of My Palace Known As: GIGA Queen (I Just Pretend It's A Statue And It's Hilarious LOL)Kick Chick: My GIGA Queen Mech Is Outfitted To Provide Only The Strongest Kicks With Her:High Heels Of PainKnow When to Fold 'Em: When I Tried To Capture The Remaining Lightners (And That Goat Kid) On The Fourth Floor And They Managed To UnplugBurghley's Brainwashing WireI Pointed At Something Behind ThemSo I Could Run Away Safely And Very Humorously LMAOProduct Placement: Buy Queen Clean! Our Most Popular Cleaning Flavors (Swatchling Approved)no punctuation is funnier: I Do Not Use Punctuation When Talking Because It's: Inefficient (I Might Use An Ellipses Or Two But Even That's Pretty Rare And Also Colons Are: Perfectly Acceptable) And I Also Capitalize The First Letter Of Each Word When I Talk Because Every Word I Say Is Of The Utmost Importance And Also Because I Am: A Computer (Smart)Robo Speak: Because I Am: A Computer (Smart) I Often Use Robotic Phrases And Intonations And My Style Of Typing Implies That I Might Be Speaking With AMachine Monotone(Or Essentially Pronouncing Every Word As Its Own Sentence To Similar Effect) And Also The Japanese Localization Emphasizes This By Typing Out My Text In Katakana And Surrounding It With Sophisticated as Hell: My Speech Routines Are Formal And Haughty About Half The Time To Fit With My Royal Status But I Also Throw In Slang And Informal Terminology So That I Can Be: Hip And Cool With The Kids (This Includes Internet Slang LMAO)Unexpected Gameplay Change: If You Have A Mech Of Your Own With Which To Fight My GIGA Queen Mech: Remember The Self-Esteem Eradication Machine (I MeanThe Arcade Machine Of Boxing) We Played Earlier As It Is Fought Differently Than The UsualIn The Meantime We Could Play It Again For Practice And Funsies Wasn't That... Fun, TroperThe Unfought: Do You RememberThat Little Puppet FreakWho I Evicted From My MansionOkay Good So If Noelle Does Indeed Realize Her True Power (Partially Through His Sales Service) Then There Is No Need To Fight Me Because (A)I Cannot Detect That Bird Boy(B) That Goat Kid Explains To Me The Consequences Of Creating Too Many Dark Fountains And (C) Kris Doesn't Have The Friends Necessary To Upgrade Their Thrash Machine Into ACombining MechaSo You Don't Fight Me And Instead You Fight: Said Puppet Freak (Who Manages To Sneak Into My Basement To Steal A Robot Body)Unwilling Robotization: When We First Met I Wanted To Replace Noelles Face With A Robot One BecauseIt Sounds CoolVerbal Tic: I Capitalize All Of My Words When Talking Which Implies That: If You Were To Hear My Voice It Would Sound Like I Am Pronouncing Every Word As Its Own Sentence (Phrase) Or However You Want To Interpret It LMAO Also I Barely Use Any PunctuationXenomorph Xerox: Don't You Dare Compare Me ToThose Slimy Carnivorous FreaksEven If My Head Looks Like Theirs And I UseAcid AttacksAnd The Final Showdown Against Me Is Fought Using A Mech (But Not A Power Loader)Weird World, Weird Food: I Quite Enjoy The Taste Of: Battery Acid And Wires And Yet Lightners Seem To Be Repulsed By It IDK WhyWell Thank You For The Stimuli But I Must Leave Now (Goodbye)Alternative Title(s):Queen"}
{"text": "There artesth too many spoilers aboutDeltarune, so I hereby declareth this pageSPOILERS OFFETH!Thou hath been warned, worm!Ge ha ha ha!\"Geh ha ha ha ha! Thoust FOOLS!\"(Listeneth to thiswonderful tunethwhile readinge, worm! Reade also in the voiceth ofAudiospawn's Sudzy BubblesorUpgraded Moon Productions(or, if ever thou wishest to imagineth mine singing voiceth,Alex Beckhamhath provided a verily stellar one))!RevtrosityorNikmoshalt also sufficeth.)So the worms hath decided to come out and play...Ge ha ha ha ha! Thoust FOOLS!I amst the Duke of Puzzles,Rouxls Kaard(pronounced Rules). My hobbies includest calligraphy, lawkeeping, bugkeeping, cages...and long walks in the dungeon. Artest thou one of my admirers, troper?Thou musteth have heard of me from the hit video gamethDeltarune, where I was the left handeth man of King and greatest adversary of the so called \u201cheroes of prophecy\u201d in Chapters first and second. Ha! Those fools were lucky to have surviveth my onslaught of POWERFUL PUZZLES! Anywaye, the worms fought the evil rulere King and besteth him (with the equipment I soldeth them!) and thus I turnedeth to serve the foolish Prince Ralsei and the other worms...for abouth A FEW MINUTES! Ahahaha! I soon after joinedth the brilliant Queen and became her minion, but her foolish minions Swatch and Tasque Manager wereth jealous of me and forcedeth me out of my positions like the worms they are!But then I foundest the blueprints to an ancient warrior machine and had some robot fools build it for me. When I attemptedest to stop the worms, the worldth itself turned on me and turndeth my body to stone, thus granting the worms victory ONCE AGAIN! GOD DAMMIT! Now I bideth my time with the King\u2019s son Lancer, who calls me his \"Lesser Dad\", in Castle Town and await the arrival of another evil rulere.I amst writing this pageth myself! Noteth because nobody is willinge to do it for me except for Lancer....but becauseth only myself can describe a specimen such as ME!Waite!Queenhath her owneth page as well! Perhaps if you worm visiteth her page, she mighteth turneth me into her left hande man once again......noteQueen:Who Even Is That Guy?Welcome to my tropes, ungrateful worms.Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Lancer is nothing but a nuisance! Our relation is NONE, you little water-beetle! I amst stuck with him like a bug upon my shoe....is he okay anyhow?Big Bad Wannabe:I don't wanteth to be an Evil Rulere! Amst just want to be left-hande man! Bute FATETH ITSELF betrays me whenever I tryeth to defeat anybody!Catchphrase: A catchethphraseth? Me!? Amst I truly that predictable?GODDAMN ITCordon Bleugh Chef: My scrumptious RouxlsRoux containseth ingredients such as fat, flour andfresh worms. What do thou mean it \"tastes like jumprope\"? Lightners like thee do not understand my eye-opening sauce!The Creon: I will always beeth a left-hande man, whethereth be under the opressive Kinge or Queene!Cut Lex Luthor a Check: I soldeth the Delta Heroes my wares so that I could amasseth funds! An army of funds! Ha ha ha ha!Dirty Coward: Cowarde....? I amst NOT a coward! I wasth undermining Kinge's regime from the insideth! The puzzles I gaveth to the heroes were just a testeths of their ability, and K. Round served as theire....um....sparing partnere! Yes!Harmless Villain:I amst not harmless! It's just that fateth itself screws me over whenever I attempteth to confronteth someone or DO SOMETHINGTH!I Fight for the Strongest Side!: Rouxls is ALWAYS on the winning side! Thou can bet on that!!! The heroesth art the winning side right about now, so I'll placate them for now...Talk Like a Pirate: Yarrrrrr, ye Matyes! When thy scurvy Sea Worms Kris and Ralsei encounteredeth me, I drapedeth myselfe in ye Garrrrrrrrrrbe of a Pirate and showedeth off that I amst ye only Beinge who hath thine Abilitye to speaketh with two accents at once! Unfortunatelyeth, the Scallyewagge Darrrrrrrke prince toldeth me to cease me old sea dog accent, but he beeth in possessione a two land lubbarrrrrrrrr earrrrrrrs that could not undarrrrrrstandeth mine salty vernacularrrrrrr.Taken for Granite: I wast going to giveth the worms Kris and Ralsei mine final attacke, but the worldth itself turned on me and turndeth my body to stone! The sameth thing happened to Lancer, yet another thing I don't wanteth to bond over with that boy!Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: Nonsense! Mine accent is 100% authenticke, and whoever sayeth otherwise is an insolent worm!GODDAMN IT"}
{"text": "(Mehmeh! Friends of Heropon please read page in voice of Wayne Forester orYuki Kaida, depend on place of ancient land friends come from! Also playtriumphant theme songof Riki when read! Also, watch out for sneaky-sneakyunmarked spoilersforXenoblade Chronicles 1,Xenoblade Chronicles 2andXenoblade Chronicles 3!)Hello, friends! Me am Riki, legendary Heropon of Frontier Village! Friends know Riki from screen-gameXenoblade Chronicles 1as bestest character! As told in legendary prophecies of Nopon, Riki journey with Shulk and Hom Hom friends to make mark on history and fight nasty Dinobeasts! Riki travel with many sidekicks like Melly and Dundun, and embark on epic adventure to save all friends on Bionis and defeat god!After this, everypon love Riki because of epic achievements, meh! Wifeypon and all littlepons of Riki hear of epic tales, and one year later, two littlepons Kino and Nene go on new adventure with Shulk and Melly on Bionis Shoulder. Riki wish them well! Riki also infighty-fighty gamewhere Isidekick shinyand cause many things to happen to enemy. Riki help Shulk in game, but also meetnew Blady-lady friends of Shulk from Alrestinnext game! Speaking of, Riki also go to Alrest for Land of Challenge where me participate in \"This Year's Heropon\" tournament and fight biggipon littlepon Tora and robo-sidekick Poppi. It a close match, but Tora win. I sorry Melly. Poppi so cute!Riki tell tales here on wiki! \"Wiki\" rhyme with \"Riki\", must be named for! Meh meh meh!Also friend do Riki big-big favour, not to confuse withslimy-slimy Frog Personfrom much more worse game.These am Legendary Tropes of Legendaryness for Heropon Riki!Achilles' Heel: Riki no fight good in water, meh. Riki too small! Maybe this why Tora beat Riki, he not have this weakness. Me need to train harder!Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy: Riki have ego of Heropon but also strong to back it up!Back Stab: Riki have two Arts to hit from behind. Me use Sneaky to hit triple damage if hit from back, but also Bitey Bitey bleed for long-long time if attack from behind too!Badass Adorable: Riki win battles by himself! Riki not only strongest Heropon, but is also cutest! Riki not child though. Riki is adult man with loving wifeypon and eleven littlepons!Badass Family: Kino and Nene strong too, they learn from Riki! Meh!Be the Ball: Mehmeh, what this?! Riki not volleyball! Reyn and Melly partake in physical abuse!Beware the Silly Ones: You laugh at Riki? Riki kick arsey-arse of you!Big Eater: Riki love to eat. It Riki's job.Big Fancy House: Riki have big-big house for entire family of Riki. Neighbours impressed, it house only fit for Legendary Heropon!Book Dumb: Meh! Riki not dumb! Riki can read fine... oh. Riki should have paid attention in class when littlepon.Butt-Monkey: Why universe hate Riki? Universe can't hate Riki! Riki is Heropon!Breath Weapon: Riki have special powers, breathe fire, ice and poison! Use Lurgy not only in own adventure but also when fight Tora!Captain Obvious: Dinobeast is big and scary.Easter Egg:Friends of Melly in futurefind trusty biter of Riki in cave withscary-scary dragon!Trrrilling Rrrs: Here Rrrrrrriki go!Verbal Tic: Inone part of ancient land, friends hear Riki and other Nopon to say \"momomomo\" at end of sentence. At first me not do this if you fromdifferent part, but later friends hear as \"meh meh meh\". Kino and Nene say a lot, but I too when fight Tora in Alrest! Meh meh!Reyn:Oh, the furball gets his own page now?Brilliant."}
{"text": "Hey there, Troper. I see you've decided to visit my self-demonstrating page. That is the single most ingenious thing you've ever decided to do. And since, quite frankly, I was WAY overdue for one of these, I'd say it's high-time you all learned about the only good thing to come from Deponia.My name is Rufus. I was born and grew up on a literal garbage planet known asDeponia. I grew up in this town called Kuvaq, mainly because my dad was the founder and mayor (up until he left when I was 8, anyway) after discovering clear water in the area. I, on the other hand, always knew I was destined for a better life than to have to live in garbage. I knew I deserved to live in the lap of luxury, which, on Deponia, can only be found in the floating city of Elysium.So, I've spent many years trying to get to Elysium. Was it easy? I'd like to say \"of course it was\", but sadly, it wasn't. I've gone through countless plans to try and get myself to my rightful place in Elysium, but it's just been met with failure after failure. However, I'm not one to give up easily. I'll get to Elysium if it takes me a hundred years.Now, I believe this is the part where I list the tropes that best describe me:Brilliant, but Lazy: I'm a genius, and also smart enough to know I deserve better than to have to, ugh, work.Butt-Monkey: What!? How could anyone think that applies to me!? I mean, sure, I've been put through a lot of painful and embarrassing things, but I hardly think I qualify for THIS trope!Determinator: I KNOW I'll get to Elysium one day! Don't you dare think I won't!Disappeared Dad: My dad ran out on me when I was 8.Everyone Has Standards: I might not like living on Deponia, but evenIwouldn't wanna destroy it.Heroes Want Redheads: Yeah, I guess I do have a thing for redheads like Goal and Toni.It's All About Me: And why wouldn't it be? I'm the smartest, most handsome man on Deponia, and I deserve better than to have to actually LIVE on Deponia.Kleptomaniac Hero: Hey, if it helps me, I'm taking it.Made of Iron: I wish that were literal. It would be really cool. That aside, apparently I've put myself through levels of punishment that would've killed me in the real world.Small Name, Big Ego: Is it so wrong to know I deserve better in life than what I have?"}
{"text": "hey, look who's tropin' around.how are ya, kid?(for best effect, read this in a voice similar toCr1TiKaL, djsmell,patrick star,steel(like so),sonicmega, timberpuppers, revtrosity\u2026 you got a lotta options, pal. also, pretend it's all written in comic sans. but you don't really have to.spoilers are unmarked, by the by.just gonna tibia off on that one.)H\u00a0u\u00a0m\u00a0a\u00a0n\u00a0.D\u00a0o\u00a0n\u00a0'\u00a0t\u00a0 \u00a0y\u00a0o\u00a0u\u00a0 \u00a0k\u00a0n\u00a0o\u00a0w\u00a0 \u00a0h\u00a0o\u00a0w\u00a0 \u00a0t\u00a0o\u00a0 \u00a0g\u00a0r\u00a0e\u00a0e\u00a0t\u00a0 \u00a0a\u00a0 \u00a0n\u00a0e\u00a0w\u00a0 \u00a0p\u00a0a\u00a0l\u00a0?T\u00a0u\u00a0r\u00a0n\u00a0 \u00a0a\u00a0r\u00a0o\u00a0u\u00a0n\u00a0d\u00a0 \u00a0a\u00a0n\u00a0d\u00a0 \u00a0s\u00a0h\u00a0a\u00a0k\u00a0e\u00a0 \u00a0m\u00a0y\u00a0 \u00a0h\u00a0a\u00a0n\u00a0d\u00a0.(You turn around to do so. and then suddenly...pffffffffft.)heh heh. the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's always funny.anyways, you're a troper right? ah, nice to hear.(heh, nerd...)well, i guess i should introduce myself. 'sup? i'm sans.sans the skeleton. i'm the \"unhelpful\" brother of papyrus the skeleton. i'm one of the major characters fromundertale, which i'm sure you've heard of. if you haven't... well, then what are you even doing here? well i guess you could probably google it or something. there's a ton of stuff about it... askele-ton. me and my bro papyrus usually walk around snowdin and just look for humans. i'm not a hunter myself, but paps is a human-hunting FANATIC. mainly 'cause he's trying to get into the royal guard. together we usually make puzzles to capture any humans who come near. to be honest though, it's not really my thing. i just prefer to be lazy and whatnot and make some jokes and bad puns.lately, i've been seen hanging aroundthe town of hometown, because... well, now, icouldtell ya why, but that'll just ruin the surprise. i think you'll have more fun figuring that one out for yourself.oh, and buddy? now that i have your attention... please, remember to be nice around these parts, ok? i mean, like, a real good neighbor, ok? don't get me wrong. i like being friendly with you, and would prefer to keep it that way, if you catch my drift. and should you happen to do something ridiculously, unfathomably stupid... trust me when i say i'll be in the know about it. so keep that conscience clean, capeesh? or else, well, i would hate having to be not so friendly with you any more, pal. you wouldn't want to\u2026 ahem\u2026have a Bad Time, do you? though the regular kinda stupid is fine, i guess.anyways, i'm supposed to put some tropes up here and everything. apparently people get a kick out of things like this. eh, i think i'll take a crack at that after grabbing a quick hour-long lunch or two at grilby's. well, maybe. i'll probably need a nap after that. and papyrus does get kinda cranky if i don't read him his bedtime story, so i'm afraid this evening just won't do either... in the meantime, why don't you take a look at it? i know i can count on you, bud.tropes that i show are:almighty janitor: i'm not exactly the best when it comes to puzzles, fighting and anything else, really. i don't really like having to do lots of work... but that doesn't mean my boss battle isgonna be a breeze for you, so ya might as well abort the genocide run.all lowercase letters: as you can clearly see. i'm perfectly capable of using all the big letters like the so-called \"professionals\" do\u2026 but, eh, it's usually just too much effort. besides, using two sizes for the same letter just seems a littleshiftyto me!always someone better: well, if you're determined and bloodthirsty enough, it could be you. but you don't really wanna go through that much pain to get there, do you? but you know, there was also this one guy i knew a long, long time ago... but i'd rather not talk about someone who might be listening.beware of the silly ones: normally, i'm a pretty laid-back andhumerusmonster, but as i've said at the mtt resort, if it wasn't for the promise i made to tori...You'd be dead where you stand.and if you decide to go for the \"kill em all\" route like a numbskull,i'll be waitin' for ya, and trust me, bud\u2026 iwillmake you regret everything ya did. and even if i can't... well, trust me even more when i saya certain character much, m-u-c-h scarier and more twisted than mewill be waiting for you.big brother instinct: it ain't like ienjoyfibbing to my brother or anything, but sometimes i can't bear to tell him some the, uh, well, let's say, \"uglier\" truths about the world around us. paps is a toughie, but i'm just afraid that big bony heart of his couldn't take it. remember not to overstep his boundaries, by the way. this may be a running theme throughout this page.big brother worship:eh, swappy-swapped.have i ever told you how my brother papyrus is the coolest?big fun: i love making puns and pulling pranks on people.brilliant\u2026 but lazy: i dunno if i'd call myself \"brilliant,\" but i do tend to get the last laugh more often than not.cheshire cat grin: i'd say i've got a jolly face, but if i ever pullthis face\u25caon you, then you're most certainly screwed.combat pragmatist: heh heh heh, you really thought i'll let ya have the first turn, take a weak attack, get to hit me standing still, or see my special attack?\"common knowledge\": i've seen all the fan art, but i hate to break it to ya: my eye only glows blue when i'm using some magic. anger has nothing to do with it. you'll know when i'm mad if my pupils disappear.cool big bro: i like to mess around with my bro papyrus, but i do care for the guy. in my honest opinion, he's even cooler.crouching moron, hidden badass: i'm more a lover than a fighter, but if you feel like taking the path of total murder... you're gonna have a bad time.dem bones: i think it's kinda obvious, ain't it?despair event horizon: i mean, the idea that my life can be taken away from me at any second is pretty depressing. i usually just mask it with some jokes and stuff.disappeared dad: that gaster guy might be this, but, eh, nobody knows for sure. he could be a brother or cousin for all i know.jury's still out on that one.go see ifthe little doghas answers.the dragon: to my brother on a good day, aaaaaand king fluffybuns on a really, really, really bad day.the fatalist: ya know the deal. why bother putting effort into doing anything when it's all gonna to be reset without any warning? i'll only afford to care if you're the anomaly that's gonna end all the timelines.fat slob: hey, i'm not fat...i'm just big-boned.foolish sibling, responsible sibling: well, it sure looks like i'm the foolish one, huh? true enough, between us, papyrus is the energetic one, who cleans the house, does his job and chores, and constantly pushes me to do mine too. and i gotta admit, for all i rib(cage) on him for it, i'm happy he does that. i'm not sure how i would fare in life without him. i would probably sleep all day, even moreso than i do now. you know\u2026 i sometimes wish i could see the world how he does. but, unfortunately, i'd say i have my own heavy responsibilities to bear. i know of quite a few ugly secrets about the nature of the world we live in, and frankly, i hope paps never becomes aware of them.fourth-wall observer: ahem\u2026 hilarious bone pun.(camera zooms in on Sans, rimshot plays)yeah, i'd say that's it. but trust me, kid, i know what's going on here. i'm lazy, but i'm not stupid.i gave my word: normally, i hate making promises, but on the off chance i have to make one, i won't back down on them. like with tori for example. she told me to never harm any human children that should ever find themselves in snowdin. the only time i would really break a promise is if it was getting outta hand. so just promise that you won't get ansty in your pantsy for a monster mash... unless you really like the feeling of your sins crawling on your back.it's probably nothing: my brother said he had a conversation with some kind of talking flower the other day... meh, it's probably just someone playing a trick on him with an echo flower... but then again, there is something about that thought that makes my hands twitch. huh, strange.godzilla threshold: i know you can always undo the killings you did, which is part of why i don't usually bother. but if you continue this path down to its logical extreme, i've seenwhat comes next...and i won't be able to afford not to care anymore.guest fighter: i'm in super smashing fighters. wait, that's not right\u2026 ah,super smash bros, got ya. though, not really, it's just a mii gunner costume that looks like me. the responsibility's too much for me, i guess. nice to see that big companies can also slum it in style. but hey, you get a remix of my theme song with it too. pretty sure i also showed up thatblonde guytoo. heh. oh wait. it looks like the humansgot me in smash for real this time.it's not actually official, but at this point, who cares. my bro papyrus shows up too as a stage cameo. i guess they wanted to reward me for being the lazy one.memetic mutation: go on, try to slaughter everything and everyone in the underground. you're gonnageeeeeeeeettttt dunked on!heh. hell,my entire existenceis a meme at this point. my fandom got so huge that it collapsed in on itself. now my name's thrown around mostly for laughs. i don't really mind, though. besides, some of the stuff i see from you humans is hilarious. keep it up. no idea why you all seem to think my last name is \"undertale\", though.my card: oh, why, yes. in case you want to talk later, here's my phone number... what? oh, the black sharpie marks? don't worry about them, they're not covering up anything important...(heh\u2026 sucker...)o.o.c. is serious business: hey buddy? i quite like you, so i'd like to let you in on a little secret, now that we've gotten to know each other. you've probably noticed how i normally speak inall lowercase lettersby now, and that maybe i sometimes dont really even care about usin \"proper\" punctuation marks. it's because i really like to take it easy, yknow, keepin it all casual and laidback. But when I speak with proper capitalization, like, say...Right now, it means that I'm being completely serious. And if you see me doing even stranger things with my speech, \u00a0l\u00a0i\u00a0k\u00a0e\u00a0 \u00a0t\u00a0h\u00a0i\u00a0s\u00a0 \u00a0r\u00a0i\u00a0g\u00a0h\u00a0t\u00a0 \u00a0h\u00a0e\u00a0r\u00a0e\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0 You had better watch out, because it means you have actually managed to made me mad.(pants)jeeze, that whole thing took a lot of effort. just...(yawn)just give me a moment here...off-screen moment of awesome: you're not the first to try and kill everyone in the underground. boy did i give that little flower abadtime.off-screen teleportation: takin' shortcuts around the underground allows me to get to places pretty quickly and with less effort. it also helps me keep an eye on your progress. but if you go down the wrong path andrefuse to stop... well, i'llshow you through my shortcutsinto some attacks.hey. if they're all set up and you just keep bumpin' into 'em,that still makes it one attack, right?the prankster: as if my intro isn't enough of an indication. whoopee cushions, loosening the lid on ketchup bottles, painting the eyepiece of a telescope, you name 'em. i even got one involving trust passwords. if you want to know more, call the number i gave you. it's totally mine.pungeon master: it's my specialty, really. i really work it... down to the bone. papyrus thinks they're low-effort, unfortunately. tough crowd.red oni, blue oni: and color-coded to boot. between me and papyrus, i'm the one who likes taking it easy.ripple effect-proof memory: eh, not really. i know moreabouttimelines than i do with remembering each reset. guess when you're as lazy as me it all just blends together.sherlock scan: i'm pretty good at reading people's expressions, kid.that expression... that's the disappointed expression of someone who's expecting a trivia about myself, only to find absolutely nothing.the slacker: like i said, i'm not really a \"working\" kind of guy. i'd rather hang out at grillby's or take a good long nap at the couch at home than capture humans.series mascot: not entirely, but thanks toa lot of the fans of the game, i'm pretty much the most recognized character in the bunch... \"sans undertale\", huh? heh, can't lie. i do kinda like the sound of that.sincerity mode: i always knew my brother is the coolest, and hesees the world in a way most could only dream of, even if i have worried about him because of it. but if he can actually stop a murderous human bent on killing everyone withjust words, then it's not just him i respect. maybe deep down, there'sa chance we can be friendssince i can't help but give a chance to anyone that spares my brother. even if every other potential ruler is killed, i can't judge a human to be all good or all evil if they're willing to give my brother a chance. as i say here:\"hey, i really respect what you did back there.\"(winks)\"thanks.\"stepford smiler: don't get me wrong, i love my puns as much as the next guy. but after living in a literal hole for so long and getting to that end of the tunnel (no pun intended there) just to have that taken away with a reset, and losing a bunch of close friends, the best i can really do is put on a brave face.theme music power-up: my leitmotiflaid back and relaxing.my battle themeis a step more upbeat.yeah, you knowi lied,its way, way more upbeat.prepare to have one hell of a BAD time.although technically, that last one isn't really my theme. some might even say it's YOURS. but whatever. not really worth thinking about.trademark favorite food: ketchup. i simply can't get enough of the stuff. true, grillby has tried to explain that you're supposed to put it on food rather than drink it straight from the bottle, but i think i keep at least half his business afloat from buying bottles in bulk from him, so he's kinda sorta given up on it.tranquil fury: depends on what happens at the end of the game. either i'll be rootin' for ya over on the phone, or if you've offed a lot of folks, but not all of the monsters, especially toriel or papyrus... well, let's just say that you're lucky i can't get past that barrier.walking spoiler: yeah, but everyone knows about the genocide run 'cause of me, huh? doesn't mean you should waste your time with it, though.it's a real sucky experience.weak, but skilled: in a fair fight, i'm pretty much dead on arrival... what with being a skeleton and all. but if i have to throw down, i'm not gonna fight fair. incidentally, don't let all thebadass boastingandthreatson this page give you the wrong idea about me. i'd really,reallyprefer to be your friend than your enemy. and i sure as hell don'tenjoyfighting. some jerks just don't understand anything other than violence.the woobie: apparently a lot of people feel bad about my depression and half the crap i have to deal with. thanks, guys, but it's fine. really. asgore's got it way worse than me, for one.welp, i'm off to grillby's.papyrus, you want anything?WHAT THE\u2014? SANS, NO, GET BACK HERE! IT'S YOUR TURN TO CALIBRATE THE PUZZLES!"}
{"text": "Aha! So you wanna edit this page, yes? Well, first, I'd like you to not add any spoiler marks. I'm not quite sure what those are, so please don't add any in here, alright?Hey! Before you unpack the package that is my page, I must warn you ofunmarked spoilersforPuyo Puyo! ...Did I do it right? Whatever,Consider this a warning.(I might want to advise you to listen tomy fantastic themewhile squeezing this page of information. ...Why are you looking at me like that?)Greetings, tropers that have visited my page! It is I, the Dark Mage, Schezo! Gaze at my Dark Sword! My main goal is to become the most powerful sorcerer, and to achieve that goal, I must go through the most drastic of measures, such as giving this page protection! ...Why are you laughing like that? Oh come on, what did I say this time?! Whatever, I must-Ooh, is that Donguri Gaeru in the distance?! *Squee!*You may know me fromPuyo Puyo, where Arle is always trying to leave my side! I have no idea why,I just want her to give me all of her!...Did I say another one? Oh dear, I have to control my... tendencies. I apologize, troper. Even though, I might want to apologize even further,due to what the beast that IS TV Tropes is doing to you...Also, I apologize that my surname reminds you of that...Youtube Poop... thing? Weegee? Is that what it is? It terrifies me. That thing stares at me with a ghastly stare... I must move away from that subject.I want these tropes!Accidental Pervert: Why is that one there? Whoever put that there,just give all the balls to me, and thenIshall edit it out with grace! Wait, what do you mean it fits?Ambiguous Situation: Oh, do you mean in the old Madou Monogatari days? Oh well, not even I understand how Ididn't want to be a Dark Wizard, but then I became astrange being with a desire for power!It's all too distressing to think about.Angry Fist-Shake: It seems like I'm already finished...Anime Hair: Aha! So you're interested in my hair, huh? Wait, only in the... Discstation animation shorts...? I don't know what those are, can you elaborate?Badass Cape: Well, at least you're interested in my cape! It's quite fine, don't you think? Look at my image again! Tell me that it doesn't look absolutely marvelous! TELL ME!Berserk Button: Do NOT call me a creeper! Or a pervert!Cuteness Proximity: Oh my gosh! There's Donguri Gaeru again! *Squee!*I'm Taking Her Home with Me!: Well then! Donguri Gaeru will finally be my pet, as I ever so desire! *Squee!*Dark Is Not Evil: Listen, just because I am adept at dark magic, that does not mean I am inclined to perform nefarious deeds like that Dark Prince.Dub Name Change: For some reason I had to assume the identity \"Devious\" in one of my earlier outings...The Friend Nobody Likes: I have plenty of friends! Why do you say that they don't like me? Oh, it's because of my tendencies, isn't it? I apologize, troper. Hey,you'recalling me a pervert as well?!Heroic Sacrifice: Wait...IsavedArle and Rulue against a god? Why don't I have any recollection of this? I don't even recall giving my life up to save another...Idiot Hair:It's called acowlick, mind you.Losing Your Head: I forgot that I've been decapitated before, sorry!Loyal Animal Companion: I once had one named Tenori Zoh, and he was my adorable travelling partner that time I inadvertently forced myself in Witch's trials. I wonder where he is and how he's doing now...Magic Knight: Magic in one hand, my sword the other. Things come easy when you wield a sword like this one! ...what?! I said I wield both magic and sword, didn't I!?Metaphorgotten: Troper, you're fantastic! You're capable of smashing pumpkins with only a finger! ...Wait, what do you mean that doesn't make sense?Names to Run Away from Really Fast: In ancient language, my name means \"The Gorgeous Man Who Defiles the Gods\". Or \"Gorgeous Adonis Who Defies The Gods\", depending on how it's translated to common tongue. A fearsome title, is it not?Pretty Boy: I do admit, I am quite stylish. Stylish enough to win you over, troper? ...Did I do it again?Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: I! AM! NOT! A! PERVERT! Stop calling me that, troper! ...And don't call me a creeper either!Sharing a Body: Ragnus had the gall to \"borrow\" my body as a mouthpiece during that whole incident with Yog Swartus. He says it wasn't out of ill will, but I still didn't appreciate the fact he was inside me all the while! ...Oh COME ON! You know what I mean!Signature Move: Oh, do you mean my Areiado? It's a very nice move, if I do say so myself.That Came Out Wrong: Oh, look! A car!Now I can drive and ride you!...Oh come on!Vague Age: I've simply stopped caring about counting my age. No, I am not 65, and no, I am no longer 14.Ye Olde Butchered English: My English is perfectly fine! It is not butchered at all! I don't even use that kind of English, you hear?!The tropes are mine!"}
{"text": "Image selected per Image Pickin' thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1522092991077554400Please do not replace or remove without starting a new thread.(This may be best read in Japanese, with the voice ofToshiyuki Morikawa, or in English,Lance Bass,George Newbern,Tyler Hoechlin,Cloudstrife8orOvarku.)Hmph. So, one of the traitors dares speak to me. You are brave, but foolhardy. Perhaps you must your place under my heel. But your witless courage intrigues me, so I shall indulge you, and if you entertain, you may yet survive this encounter.I am Sephiroth, originating fromFinal Fantasy VIIand now spread far beyond to other worlds. But of course, you need not be told that. My name has struck terror into hearts bolder than yours. For years I have traveled the streams of video game history, watching, waiting, and learning. It is a certainty that my next coming will be upon you soon, in some form of another. Until then, I shall tell you of the journey that led me here.In a past life, I was a humble SOLDIER fighting in the name of theShinra Electric Power Company. I wasa renowned and beloved hero, famous for my exploits in the Wutai War and feared by all for my unrivaled battle prowess. And they were not unhappy days, not mostly. I had friends, I had comrades. I was the most powerful and respected man on the planet.Then camethe Nibelheim mission.The events of those few days havebeen obscuredbyShinra propaganda and cover-ups, and I confess thateven my own memories are clouded. Whatever precisely occurred, that day I uncovered the true nature of my existence. I discovered that I was aprototype biological experimentconducted by Shinra, created from the genetic materials of an ancient creature called Jenova. Jenova was the last ofthe Cetra, a great people who long ago proliferated their utopian civilization across the planet, until thehumansabandoned them to die at the hands of a mysterious disaster. Enraged, I put the town to the torch and attempted to claim my mother's remains. However, before I could rejoin with my mother and retake the planet, fellow SOLDIER Zack Fair attempted to thwart our reunion and even took me on in battle. A futile gesture. With that nuisance dispensed, I again moved to rescue my mother from her imprisonment, but then, to my great shame,he, that ignorant puppet Cloud Strife, caught me off-guard and hurled me into a pit of Mako energy.I died that day, strictly speaking, butmy ambitions were immortal. Indeed,I ascended to something greater. My spirit enteredThe Lifestreamand I traveled its depths, learning ancient and forgotten wisdom. I accrued power and knowledge beyond the plane of human achievement. Years later, I set my plans into motion. Using my mother's remains, over which I had gained psychic control, I constructed a new physical form and sought outthe Black Materia. With it I could summon the ultimate destructive magic,Meteor. I would summon Meteor to strike the planet, and when the Lifestream emerged to repair such a devastating wound, I would be there in the impact crater. I would absorb the Lifestream tobecome a god.During my search, I exacted my vengeance on Cloud Strife, toying with his false memories and leading him across the planet until he delivered the Black Materia to me himself. In one of my most infamous acts, Islew a little flower girlin his company before his very eyes. She commanded the White Materia that could cast Holy, the only force that could stop Meteor. Cloud and his cohorts descended into the depths of the Northern Crater, where my physical body had reformed, and killed me again. Holy stopped Meteor's descent and my plans were foiled, but my spirit endured once more in the Lifestream.Some years later, I completed a second resurrection and attempted to wrest control of the planet, but I was again defeated.What has become of me now?Who can say?Perhaps my spirit persists in the Lifestream, awaiting the day I will rise again. Until then, wait. I once swore that I would never be a memory, and I intend to make good on that vow.I have made numerous appearances in spin-off media. I havebattled Keyblade masters,martial artists, andbanded with otherFinal Fantasyvillains to crush my enemies. In moments of recreation, I haveindulged in musical performancesandplayed board games. I have also contested in aDEATH BATTLE!, facing the half-demon known asVergilto my victory. My original story isgetting an encore.This time around,I didn'tgo in blind.And now I have been selected to participate inthat grand contestwith Cloud, giving despair not to beings from across theFinal Fantasyworlds, but fromuniverses beyond. What more, it would appearthat insignificant Keyblade wielderhas joined the ranks of Smash as well. Happenstance, or folly? No matter. He, too, will know my wrath.Below you will find a listing of tropes that will further enlighten you of my terrible legacy. Now, begone. My patience for human pests wears thin.Your mortal mind could barely understand my power, but these tropes may help you grasp the basics.Actually a Doombot: An often forgotten fact was that the \"Sephiroth\" that killed Aerith Gainsborough was really a Jenova monster I controlled taking my appearance.Adaptational Heroism: Inthe world of Grymoire, I am considered an \"Antichampion\", antithesis to the heroic \"Champions\" of whom Cloud is part; yet I am reported as having defended an innocent from Cogna attacks before departing on my way. As the Champions and Antichampions of the A-Worlds are merely spiritual copies of the genuine articles, I cannot say whether this me acted out of altruism or pragmatism, but the point remains that - after my experiences in Niflheim - I did never bother myself with saving those who served no purpose to me.Adaptational Villainy: When the time came totell my story anew, I made sure toattack Cloud's mind more thoroughlythan I did in the original telling.After all, I wasarmed with foreknowledgeof what would happen if I simplyrepeated history as you knew it.Affably Evil: Several of my incarnations portray me as such. For example, the version of me inKingdom Heartsandits sequelin particular bares little malice towards the Keyblade wielder and his friends (despite my constant tormenting of Cloud), and I am usually polite and well-spoken. In mymost recent run-in with CloudI am far more agreeableand even offer Cloud the chance to defy fate with me.Whether or not I will remain this or not (or ifI was truly this to begin with) is something you'll have to find out for yourselves.A God Am I: My goal is the domination and control of the Lifestream, and with it, the Planet. All life that exists will do so at my whim or be eradicated.Apocalypse How: My ambitions are of Planetary scale, with Total Extinction as the intended severity. It is my intention to wipe out life on the Planet and carry on Jenova's legacy in traveling the cosmos to corrupt further planets. At the end ofthe original tale, I succeeded in achieving a City-scale Societal Disruption, as the city of Midgar was left uninhabitable.Arch-Enemy: To that ignorant traitor Cloud Strife. No matter what he does, no matter where he goes, you can rest assured that sooner or later I will appear and the two of us will cross blades.Even seeking refuge with Nintendo was not far enough to escape me.Back from the Dead: My original physical body was destroyed at Nibelheim. Through my mother's shapeshifting abilities though, I am able to exert influence over her cells and make new bodies to act through, as long as my spirit exists in the Lifestream.Badass Adorable: Inthe world of Grymoire, I - like many other representatives ofFinal Fantasy- appear as a \"Lilikin\", aSuper-Deformedsemblance of myself. And like many other representatives ofFinal Fantasy, the power of my Lilikin form is no less genuine than in any of my other appearances.Badass Longcoat: Though much of my character varies across appearances, this is consistent. MyBlack Cloakis synonymous with me and is all I have ever worn.Baritone of Strength: Save for myfirst voiced appearance, my voice is consistently deep and composed.Big Bad: I serve as the main antagonist in mydebut game.BFS: My Masamune, my most favored weapon, reaches variable lengths, but at its shortest it is at least as long as I am tall, and at its longer, several times that.Bilingual Dialogue: In theSmash Bros.tournaments, all people of your world only interpret my speech asone specific language, as opposed to my other appearances where different pawns hear different languages. This is likely due to Cloud showing similar symptoms, which has the side effect of averting the trope when I face off with him (as was the case in my reveal).Bish\u014dnen: Strictly speaking, I should qualify as biseinen, being older than is standard for the trope. Nonetheless, my long, well-kept hair and fair skin are contributory factors to my appearance being, I confess, not as masculine as some may prefer.Blade Spam: I can move faster than your human eyes could comprehend. My blade moves with such swiftness that while youseeme swing once, I have actually swung more than a dozen times.Bonus Boss: In thefirsttwonumberedKingdom Heartsgames, I serve this role. My self-titled \"Sephiroth Challenge\" inSuper Smash Bros. Ultimate, temporarily available during the period between my announcement and official release, could also be said to qualify on its highest difficulty.Breakout Villain: It wouldn't be out of place to say that even among thevast universe I originate from, I am considered the greatest and most iconic adversaries. My popularity and influence has even granted me appearances in other medium, as you will see elsewhere on this page. I am quite pleased with this, however. Someone of my stature was bound to be remembered throughout history and \"I will never be a memory\" is a promise I intend to keep.Casting a Shadow: One of my iconic techniques, Shadow Flare, manifests as orbs of dark energy surrounding and bombarding my foes.Casting Gag: For some reason, the English language loves to have me voiced by actors who playeda certain superhero from a distant gone world.Colony Drop: My original goal was to summon Meteor to impact the planet. For this, in spin-off incarnations I am often able to summon meteors of variable size to strike my enemies.Cold Ham: I hardly ever raise my voice, yet my words and threats still strike fear into those who face me.The Comically Serious: I insist on keeping my composure inNintendo's grand contest, no matter what happens around me. Unfortunately, Nintendo's champions do not reciprocate, and it must be said that my stoicism does little to reduce the amusement people draw from humorous situations I find myself in.Contrasting Sequel Antagonist: It's not hard to see that within thebroader series,that jesterand I are as different as night and day. We both betrayed our masters for godhood, certainly, but that's where the similarities end. Palazzocame from nothingwhile I was engineered from birth to be one of Shinra's mightiest soldiers. The clown was easily thwarted in most encountersuntil he suddenly wasn't, whereas I was alreadybeyond anyone's reachby the time Cloud and his companions started their journey. I chose to bringruination to the Planetas a deliberate goal, and would later choose tocarry on Mother's legacy, whereas Palazzo would destroy whatever world he came acrossfor no greater reason than that he could. And of course, while Ivalue restraint when expressing myself, that disturbed clownis as bombastic in personality as his fashion choice would imply(speaking of which, the understated dignity of myblack and gray outfitcould not be more different from hisgarish rainbow of a wardrobe). With such stark differences, it's not surprising we're the subjects of aFandom Rivalry.Dark Is Evil/Light Is Not Good: My main colors are black, and many of my moves are darkness related, (Octaslash in Dissidia and Shadow Flare), however, mytrue formin the originalFinal Fantasy VIIis an unholy angel.Depending on the Writer: My character is prone to widely different interpretations, both from my creators and to fans. To some, I am aTragic Monsterdriven insane by the discovery of my origins, to others I am aPunch-Clock Villainwho pursues evil only because it suits my goals to do so, and to yet others I am anOmnicidal Maniacseeking to destroy all life except myself in my quest for power. My abilities are also subject to this, ranging from what you humans would call anEmpowered Badass Normalto aPhysical Godtaken on human form.Dissonant Serenity: I am in complete control of my emotions and the circumstances I find myself in, and so I maintain my composure at all times.The Dreaded: I find everyone gets a little quieter, a little shakier, whenever I make my presence known, or at least when they see the destruction I leave in my wake.I took advantage of this when Irevisited the pastto torment Cloud more thoroughly, taking advantage of his trauma to disorient him through visions. I made the mistake of dismissing him as a mere puppet the first time around, a mistake Ido not intend to repeat.I was given another opportunity to display the awe of my presence when I slew thatLord of Lightbefore it could finish the collective of fighters that stood against it, and I was amused to see them all immediately terrified before they went on a desperate attack against me. As valiant as their efforts were, they couldn't land a scratch. Even theUmbra Witch, as powerful as she was, stood no chance against me. And as for theplumber... well, he's very fortunate that I missed him by the overalls, otherwise he would have needed much more than one of those Super Mushrooms.Driven to Suicide: In the twelfth cycle of thewar between Chaos and Cosmos, I began to fear that I was nothing but an imitation of Sephiroth, and took my own life to test my theory (represented in-game as aduel against myself). Once I was certain that I was indeed the genuine article, I could gladly bear arms once more - or, rather,as gladly as I once had.Enemy Mine: Though I am loathe to ally myself with Cloud in any way (and the feeling is mutual), we - among others - were willing to postpone our clash whenwe returned to World B.Exacting vengeance upon the dragon Shinryu for his abuse of us champions in the previous conflict was more than prize enough.Enemy Without: My incarnation inKingdom Heartsis hinted to be the embodiment of the darkness in Cloud's heart, born and reborn every time I am defeated to plague him until he conquers his own heart. If this is meant in a symbolic or literal sense, I would prefer not to clarify.You Don't Look Like You: To reflect this state, my appearances within that series deviate from that of my true self; my facial structure in particular resembles Cloud's more than my own, and in the original game, I wield Masamune right-handed.Eviler than Thou: In myoriginal tale, I am the greater evil to the Shinra Corporation, as Rufus Shinra's mere greed was nothing compared to mydestructive aspirations. In thesecond conflict of World B, however, I am the lesser evilcompared to Shinryu, who intended to feed on the power borne of this war as he did the last.Evil Versus Evil: Whetherother villains ofFinal Fantasyorhordes of lesser Heartless, I am not above cutting them down if they standbetween me and Cloud. I had also cut thatLight Godin half when I introduced myself.Expy: TheIvaliciannoble Marquis Elmdore de Limberry shares many of my traits, including myphysical appearance,attire, wieldinga katana by the name of Masamune, and taking ona monstrous formthat is referred to asan angel. There are just enough visual differences between us that,when I returned to World B, I could take his palette as aMythology Gag.Fallen Hero: Once I was a great war hero beloved by the Planet. Now I am one of the Planet's most feared enemies.Flanderization: I was forced to invoke this upon myself after my second death. The Lifestream eventually assimilates all spirits into an indecipherable collective of souls, so to maintain my own identity I focused on my hatred of Cloud. This allowed my less-important character traits and memories to leave me, as my hatred of Cloud and my thirst for revenge gave me the emotional core I needed to survive. Some would say this has endured in other appearances, since my quest for godhood is often downplayed while my hatred for Cloud is emphasized.Flash Step: Sometimes I merely move at superhuman speeds, at other times I may teleport. Either way, I will be next to you ready to strike before you could anticipate it.Fountain of Expies: I have become so renowned that many have attempted to emulate me. All are pale imitations of the original, I assure you.The Ghost: Inthe world of Grymoire, I serve this role in the story as it originally stands. As an Antichampion, the A-World does not tolerate my presence for long; I have had an impact on the world before (and one seemingly quite similar to that of my original tale), but I am nowhere to be seen throughout the Mirage Keepers' journeys. I do avert this throughDownloadable Content(as well as theUpdated Re-releaseon platforms separate fromthe original), as my power can be invoked by the Mirage Keepers via a \"Champion Medal\", much like the genuine Champions of the A-World.Go Mad from the Revelation: I confess, I did not handle the truth of my origins with as much tact and control as I usually exhibit. Beyond Nibelheim's destruction some would say I am still insane, but they are fools who do not understand I have just had my eyes opened to my destiny.Heads I Win, Tails You Lose: When I serve a boss inCrisis Corewhen the game covers the Nibelheim incident, since the player is controlling Zack Fair. I'm fought like any other boss, but Zack nonetheless fails to ultimately stop me.Heroes Prefer Swords: I had already taken up my Masamune during my time as one of Shinra's SOLDIERs, where I was in fact renowned as a hero. Though I may no longer be considered a \"Hero\" by the people of my world or yours, my swordsmanship has not diminished.Hero Killer: Oh yes. I have quite the habit of leaving a trail of bodies.Just ask the Ancient.Hijacking Cthulhu: My mother Jenova was an abomination of tentacles and eyes in roughly humanoid form that traveled the cosmos destroying Planets. I subverted her body and bent it to my will as an extension of myself.HP to One: I'll admit, Heartless Angel has becomesomething of my trademark, though its effectiveness seems to vary depending on which universe I use it in. Strangely, it seems myKingdom Heartscounterpart has put it to the best use, where it will not onlybe truly fatalwithout certain abilities, butdepletes magic as well as health, denying the enemy the ability to heal without items. I've found the attack to bethe least usefulin theDissidiauniverse, where it only seems to affect the enemy's strength, and not their health.I Am Not Left-Handed: Many of my defeats thus far have been a result of my underestimating my opponents, and thus using less strength against them than I ought.My creator has statedthat I have never thus far been seen at my full strength. InKingdom Hearts, I also invert the trope's literal interpretation, and wield Masamune in my right hand.Iconic Item: MyMasamuneis widely known for its length, elegance, and the people it impaled.Iconic Outfit: I am sure you know about my blackBadass Longcoatwith silver shoulder armor and accents.Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: My rather lengthy blade is perfect for stabbing. Just ask Cloud. Or the Ancient.Invincible Villain: Across the many stories told about me, one of the few constants is that I am above all others in power and cannot truly be destroyed. Cloud himself has (quite rightly) stated that I am \"far stronger in reality than any story\" you would hear of my exploits.This is especially true formy future self,where in my memorable clash with Cloud at the Edge of Creation, I make it abundantly clear that I am in total control of the fight and his attempts to even hit me are laughable at best. I understand many of you consider this one of my finest moments, which I confess I am inclined to agree with.Katanas Are Just Better: My Masamune is a nodachi, to use the precise term, but if youmust conform to the common word for those types of swords, it is a katana. One that only I may wield.Lightning Bruiser: In all depictions, I move and teleport at superhuman speeds and can swing my sword with such power that none could hope to oppose me and live. And I assure you, you can find I'm usually hard to keep down for the count as well.Long-Haired Pretty Boy: I believe you are aware of my long locks. I also believe you are aware of how revered I am by the female fandom.Magic Knight: Though my prowess with magic varies depending on my depiction, I am often skilled to some degree with spells and sword alike.Make Wrong What Once Went Right:You probably thought I wouldfollow the same stepsin theremakeas I did in the original story, didn't you? No, unlike most of my enemies, I'mworking with knowledge of how my first plan played outand instead manipulated Cloud and his friends into destroyingthe one force that guaranteed my defeat.Manipulative Bastard: I am quite adept at toying with the emotions of others to make them do what I want. You are free to ask Cloud if you do not believe me.Master Swordsman: My skill with the Masamune is unparalleled. None could hope to match my strength and speed with it, and none ever have.Master of Illusion: While less prominent than many of my other abilities, I do possess the power to craft convincing illusions, which I have showcased on several occasions.Meaningful Appearance: My natural green eyes betray my true nature as a Jenova experiment, heir to a great and powerful legacy.Mythology Gag: My trait of striking more often than I am seen to swing functions as a reference to the initial threeFinal Fantasies. TheWarriors of Light,Wild Rose Rebellion, andorphans of Urwould land more \"hits\" with their weapons as their strength grew, but the visuals would often indicate far less swings than their opponents received; the orphans, for example, would swing their weapons a maximum of six times per armament, yet land up to eighteen hits each.Ominous Latin Chanting: The chorus of my trademark theme, One-Winged Angel, which has served as my theme in almost every appearance I make. It is one of the most prolificFinal Fantasythemes, being remixed a half-dozen times, often with new lyrics.One-Winged Angel: I am theTrope Namer, this being the name of myLeitmotifwhich is remixed in most all of my appearances. While I am hardly the first to actually do the act the trope explains, my status of having a single black wing now makes me a rather literal interpretation of the trope.Only Cloud Can Kill Me: I admitthat insignificant Keyblade wieldermay be very skilled to best me in combat. But apparently, Cloud is the only one who can eliminate me, and indeed, my battles with the Keyblade wielder have ended with me none the worse for wear, still strong enough to fight Cloud shortly afterwards.Only the Chosen May Wield: Though it is indeterminate whether only I am capable ofwieldingMasamune, or simply the only one with sufficient training to use it, the point stands that none others may carry my weapon.The Other Darrin: Duringmy first clash with that insignificant Keyblade wielder, my words were carried on the tones ofLance Bass. This was not well-received; in all of my other appearances, I bear the voice ofGeorge Newbern, withTyler Hoechlinfilling in forthe retelling of my first appearance.Overly Long Fighting Animation: The ultimate attack of my Safer form, Supernova, has gained a level of infamy for the extended animation it possesses, consisting of the destruction of an entire solar system and the accelerated deterioration of its sun before showing the damage dealt.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: After my entry into the Lifestream, I normally maintain aDissonant Serenity, but I will admit that there are very rare occasions in which I show more obvious emotion. Theapex of Omnislash Version 5catches me by surprise, andCloud channeling the power of lightis quite possibly the only time I have ever raised my voice.Out of the Inferno: My scene of standing among the flames of Nibelheim is an iconic image of me, and is referenced in many of my appearances. To add to that, I am greater than all those imitators mentioned in the trope, as I walkintothe flames.Power Gives You Wings: As the god-being Safer Sephiroth I bore six white wings instead of legs, and a black wing in place of my right arm. More commonly now I am depicted with a single black wing over my right shoulder.Predecessor Villain: inFinal Fantasy VII: Advent Children. Kadaj is the film's main antagonist for all practical purposes, and bringing me back to life is his main goal.Punch-Clock Villain: My appearance inDissidia Final Fantasy. I had no interest in theForever Warwaged between Chaos and Cosmos; my only goal was to understand the nature behind it and how it could be used to further my ambitions.Purposely OverpoweredGuest-Star Party Member: In Cloud's flashbacks, though I can't be controlled by the player, I will kill any enemies in but a few swingsnoteeither one, possess mastered various Materia, and cannot be damaged.Psycho Prototype: Iplay this trope oddly; although my status as the first individual to be injected with Jenova's cells is directly related to my eventual mental breakdown resulting in the Nibelheim incident, the 'psycho' element is notcausedby the 'prototype' element.Reality Warper: Ithas been observedthat my Supernova attack functions with largely the same mechanics as Summoned Beasts - as I myself do not have the strength to summon a meteor with the strength to eliminate a single Planet, let alone a solar system, I instead draw my enemy into an alternate space and time in which such destruction is occurring.I will admit my choice of timing for the teleportation is less than stellar.Rule of Symbolism:Final Fantasyhas never shown restraint with symbolic representations, and I am no exception.My Safer form inthe original telling of my talehad me possessed of six white wings, in reference to the seraphim of Abrahamic myth; the seraphim were the highest and greatest of the angelic hierarchy, and so too was this my greatest and most powerful form. The dark wing that replaces my right arm - and which I possess in many of my appearances thereafter - serves as a representation of the world's opinion of me as aFallen Hero.My Masamune is named for a renowned swordsmith in your world; carrying a sword of Masamune's make is considered indicative of a calm warrior, which describesmy demeanourquite well. Furthermore, a sword bearing his name wasthe greatest weapon by raw powerin thefirsttwogames of the greater series, befitting my status as aninsurmountable warrior. Finally, Cloud has had access to a weapon bearing the name of Murasame, a rival swordsmith to Masamune who could never overcome him, which serves well to illustrateour positionandCloud's regard of facing me.A Sinister Clue: One ofFinal Fantasy'sfirst villains to be obviously left-handed, and I have always been so save foronce.Softspoken Sadist: I have no need to raise my voice in order to taunt Cloud over his failures.The Stoic: I am very adverse to open displays of emotion aside from arrogance and cruelty. I confess though Ioften lose my composurewhen I witnessCloud overpowering mein some fashion.Sugar-and-Ice Personality: Prior to the Nibelheim case, those in Shinra that kept their distance considered me a cold and stern authority figure, but those that took the care to get to know me would find me personable, polite, and at times, yes, quite kind and understanding. This is why my betrayal of Shinra shook so many so heavily.Super Prototype: While subsequent SOLDIER recruits of Shinra would be injected with Jenova cells upon entry, I was injected as a fetus, growing and merging with them to achieve greater power than any normal recruit would ever have.Sword Beam: Another skill I am fond of. At times it manifests as a blade of energy, at other timesRazor Windin the wake of my strikes.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: I was featured ina show hosted by an alcoholic redneck and a mad scientistwhere I found this half-demon whom I believe is thisother half-demon's older brother. I challenged him upon sensing a great power.Sadly, it was not good enough, as Isliced off the top half of his bodyafter burning him with my supernova attack.Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: Not inmore objective accountsof my role in The Planet's darkest hour,obviously, but in theversioncompiled bythose irreverent clowns. While theymake foolsof my enemies, they do not taint my character with their absurd sense of humor, and my \"abridged\" alter-egodarkens the moodof whatever scene he appears in. I daresay this other metook it a step further than I actually did,singling out Cloud's mother for murder as adark answerto his wish to become just like him, and instead of denying Cloud's ability to feel, this other me acknowledged andmockedStrife's misery when he killed that Ancient in front of him. I cannot say I wasever that petulant.Villainous Legacy: Though my motives might seemfantastical and larger than lifeto you, I would not exist to pursue them were it not for mycreators and former masters, TheShinra Corporation, forging me as a means of enforcing their order, all in the name of simple greed.Thatis a wickedness I can't help but noticeplagues your world too.Villainous Plan Inertia: My death alone was not enough to stop Meteor. If it weren't for that Ancient's meddling, I would have won from beyond the grave, even if I was in no position to benefit from it...at the time.Villain Respect: Thoughthat insignificant Keyblade wieldercannot put an end to me, I am not above commending him for his skill when he proves capable of besting me in combat.The Voiceless: Inthe world of Grymoire, I can be invoked to aid in battle in the same manner as other Champions, but I do not speak in so doing. This isjustifiedby my lack of active role in the story; it would be wasteful to call uponmy voice actorfor a mere one-liner, andreusing my past utterancesmay not be appropriate for the situtation.We Can Rule Together:Before our final duel in the first chapter of the remake, I offered Cloud the chance todefy destinytogether. One that he quite understandably rejected. Was I sincere about my offer? Well, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough.Winged Humanoid: Most of my appearances have me bear a single black wing in reference to the title of my boss theme; most prominently inthe original conflict of World B, where it served as mySuper Mode, in contrast to many many of Chaos' other summoned warriors having full transformations reflecting their boss appearances. Duringthe second conflict, my Safer form would make another appearance, though revised to qualify for this trope as well.White Hair, Black Heart: My long silver-white hair is another of my iconic design appearances, and goes well with my cruel and sinister nature.Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Some would consider the tragedy and trauma that followed my life up to the Nibelheim case to make me a tragic and sympathetic figure. Pity me if you wish, it will not spare you my wrath.The Worf Effect: The Midgar Zolom is adeceptively powerful foethat Cloud and his party were advised to avoid when first they approached its domain. On reaching the other side of the swamp by chocoback, they found that I had left one impaled on a tree, demonstrating to the less-informed of Cloud's allies that my power was not exaggerated."}
{"text": "Discussion on how to deal with pages like this is hereThis is gonna be fun.(For any English-speakers who like to keep it real, it's best to read me in the voice ofKevin Miller. For all you folks over in Japan, tryTomokazu SekiorTakeshi Kusao. And before you ask,all spoilers are unmarked.You've been warned, pal!)Hey, everyone. Why am I here, you ask? Simple. Hearda certain electrokinetic humieI know froman old gigdecided to show up here and talk about himself. Since I'm a fun guy and good sport, I just couldn't let that sap hog all the glory, so here I am to quite literally steal his thunder away.noteCole:Terrible pun, Sly. Just the worst. Not to mention I lost the fuckin' page 'cause the morons who run this site think their opinions matter over everyone else's!Me:Oh. Sorry 'bout that.Cole:It's all good. I've gotten over it.Now, I'm sure some of you more seasoned guys and gals don't need any real introduction from yours truly, but if you do, I should probably startrightat the beginning.The name's Sly.Sly Cooper. I'm an art lover, abon vivant, and as you all should know, an internationally famous master thief. In fact, us Coopers ourselves are a long,longline of master thieves dating back thousands of years. Though I can assure you that no honor, challenge or fun can be found in stealing from the common man, which is why my family line's always followed a code toonly steal from other thieves. So you can consider your wallet safe. For now.Let me start at the beginning, back I was just an eight-year-old kid, and it was the night I was supposed to inherit from my father our family's greatest treasure, the Thievius Raccoonus. It was an age-old encyclopedia of thieving knowledge my ancestors had passed down through the ages, and with it in hand, I hoped it would teach me everything I needed to be especially sneaky in my future career.Though fate had something different in mind. A band of power-hungry crime lords called the Fiendish Five broke into our home, struck down my parents, tore out the pages of the Thievius Raccoonus, and scattered them to the\u2026fivecorners of the earth. After I lost just about everything that night except my cane and the clothes on my back, I was shipped off to the Happy Camper Orphanage.But hope was not lost, since it was there I met two new companions:Bentley, resident turtle boy who does machines, cracks codes and serves as the strategy behind our operations, andMurray, our getaway driver, and who's grown all the way from aham-fisted burdento ourham-preachingenforcerover the course of our adventures. And ever since that first meeting at the orphanage (and a premiere cookie-stealing heist), the three of us have been close in a way that simple words just can't do justice.As the years went on, our outfit\u2014 the Cooper Gang\u2014 truly began to take off, and despite humble beginnings, we started pulling some daring heists in big-name places all over the world. Paris, Bombay, you name it. And how could I forget about my first run-in with the especially lovely and passionateInterpol inspectorCarmelita Fox? Ah, those were the days.Ten years after my parents' death, we finally found a lead on the Fiendish Five (thanks to Carmelita having a file with as much info on me as she could find) and startedour big mission to hunt them down and take back the Thievius Raccoonus. Outwitting each member took some split-second skill and strategy, but we managed to take them down one by one and began restoring my family's treasured guidebook back to its rightful state.Eventually, it came the time to put down their leader, a giant owlhorrifying beyond all reasonwho had replaced his body with cold robotic parts: Clockwerk. He revealed to me that he'd achieved eternal life through pure jealousy and hatred against the Cooper Clan, and dedicated his existence to wiping us out since the beginning of time. He nearly succeeded with me and my parents, butchose to leave me aliveas proof that our legacy was worthless without the Thievius Raccoonus.But I made sure to prove him wrong.Thanks to the combined efforts of our gang, with even Carmelita herselfstepping in for a bit, Clockwerk and his Death Ray were taken out of commission. My parents were finally avenged, I gave the lovely Ms. Foxa little token of my gratitudebefore we soon returned to our usual game of cat and mouse, and the Thievius Raccoonus was returned to its rightful state. It was finally time for me to write my own tales in the book.After a couple years' worth of other adventures,our gang learned that the Museum of Natural History in Cairo was putting Clockwerk's mechanical parts up on exhibition, so we pulled a job to steal and destroy them for good. But by the time we arrived, they were already stolen by the Klaww Gang, a new crime syndicate whose members planned to use each part as instruments for a grander scheme. To make things even more complicated, Carmelita had a new partner, Constable Neyla, who we knewdefinitelyhad something up with her.After a lot of twists and turns in our crusade against our new foes, including me and Murray getting captured for over a week, Neyla framing Carmelita for conspiring with us, and all the Clockwerk parts we nabbed from the Klaww Gang getting stolen back at the last minute, we found out that two-bit cockney liar was in league with them from day one. Having already backstabbed everyone else along the way, she hijacked Clockwerk's body and its immortality for herself. Against all odds, we managed to stop her \"Clock-La\" form and end Clockwerk's reign of terror for good this time,but Bentley's legs were crushed as a result of the scuffle.When Carmelita showed up to arrest us just after all was said and done, I knew how much my friends went through during this long journey of ours, so I agreed to turn myself into Interpol on the pretense that they would be let go. But they managed to give me a little help before leaving, and I, in turn, managed to give her the old slip yet again. She didn't seem that fussed about it then, though.Sometime in the following year, I broke into a high-security prison to have a word with a guy named McSweeney, the retired muscle of my father's original trio. Through him, I learned about Kaine Island, where the Cooper Vault full of my family's treasure was hidden. We soon found out that a mad scientist named Dr. M (who I'd later learn was the estranged brains of my dad's old outfit, incredible, isn't it) had already spent years trying to break into the vault himself. With the vault being hard enough to get into even without Dr. M's personal fortification of the island, Bentley and I knew that it would take more than just us three to pull off such a tough caper.So it becamethe goal of our next adventure to find other world-class thieves, recruit them, and pull off our toughest heist yet (with Carmelita hot on our tail as usual). Murray was our first recruit, having spent the last year trying to find himself after the Clock-La incident. Next, we recruited his mentor in the mystic art of Dreamtime,the Guru. We then completed our gang with RC expertPenelope(who got together with Bentley during that caper) and two of ourformer foes:the Panda Kingof the Fiendish Five andDimitri Lousteauof the Klaww Gang. With our gang finally assembled, we all set off to Kaine Island for the grand heist.In spite of a couple setbacks and a quick brush with death, we were finally able to get to the Cooper Vault. After I traversed it and reached its innermost sanctum, Dr. M followed me there to crush me and take the Coopers' treasure for himself. After a fight that was long and hard enough to shake the Vault to its limit, Carmelita arrived in the nick of time to arrest us both. I took a blast meant for her from Dr. M and after finishing him off, she came over to me to see how I was doing. I took the opportunity and pretended that the attack made me lose my memory, and after she told the seemingly-amnesiac me that I was her \"partner\", we quickly hightailed it out of the Vault as it collapsed.So Carmelita and I were finally able to enjoy each others' company as a result of what happened at Kaine Island, and I pretty much retired from thievery. It was a nice break.But after a while, the thief in my blood started roaring up again, and I secretly began plans to pull off one last heist\u2026 behind her back. But just as I was about to make my move, Bentley appeared in order to tell me thatentries in the Thievius Raccoonus were starting to disappearas a result of something affecting history. He, Murray and I soon reunited and, using Bentley's newly-finished time machine, made it our mission to travel to different eras in time (such as the Old West or even the Ice Age), save each of my ancestors and find out just who the culprit messing with them was.Later into our adventure, we caught up with Carmelita (who was definitelynot happyabout the whole \"lying about amnesia\" thing, but IthinkI made things up with her), as she was also thrown through time by the same mastermind who started this whole mess\u2014Le Paradox, an egomaniacal art collector and the latest member of his own lineage of master thieves. We learned thatPenelopehad sold us out and gave Le Paradox a time-traveling blimp of his own so that he could topple my ancestors' legacy and steal their canes to use as his own personal trophies. After we fixed all the damage he and his cronies did to Cooper history, I finally confronted him on said blimp as its time machine finally broke,but at the last second he escaped with my paraglider and left me on the blimp for dead.And that's the last thing I remember happening before waking up alone in ancient Egypt along with what was left of Le Paradox's time machine. As of now, I still don't know when my friends are finally going to find and rescue me, andI dread that it might not be any time soon. So, getting comfortable here and maybe seeing if I can meet up with one of the Slytunkamens is probably the best option for now, assumingI don't suddenly wake up one day next to a Carmelita that still thinks I have amnesiaor something. Besides, I think the endless view of sand from every direction is actually starting to grow on me.But besides my usual capers of going on globetrotting heists, I've also had a few other excursions here and there, some favorable and some not. There was this one time (can't remember when) whereBentley and I were kidnapped by alienswho forced us to compete alongsidea long-eared cat guy, a robot,an elf, and a short guy with a loud mouthin some weird space dimension Olympics. We've never really brought that incident up again. I also vaguely recalla time when I traveled to a bunch of weird placesand traded fists with some people while looking for a couple missing pages of the Thievius Raccoonus, eventually finding them in the hands ofsome bargain bin treasure hunterwho wouldn't give them up the easy way.Apparently I was also supposed toget my big-screen debuta while back, but thanks to some backlash,the aforementioned cat-creaturemessing everything upand a few other things, it's more or less been swept under the rug. But a few say I might have better luck as a TV star, so who knows what'll happen next? When it happens. \u2026Hopefully. And no, I'm not counting the time whentwoof those cat-creatureskidnapped me and my friends to use as decoys.And now that you've heard about my exciting career, you might as well stay to take a deeper look at my endearing quirks and tools of the trade when it comes to the fine art of thievery. Just don't forget that this place is almost as good atstealing your timeas I am at stealing everything else. Have fun, pal!Here's all you need to know about me:Ace Pilot: As unexpected as it is, I'm pretty good with a plane...Universal Driver's License: ...and a hovercraft, a submarine, a jetpack...Aesop Amnesia: When at the brink of death, you might wonder if you should cut out the cat-and-mouse game and embrace your foxy police lady, and after the vault job and the \"amnesia\" that's more or less what I did. With enough time, though, the thief in my blood began screaming to get going again, and... well, yeah, I kinda got ahead of myself a little.The guy behind my voice thinksit might be because I wanted to bring Carmelita into my lifestyle since she already brought me into hers, but everything's up in the air at the moment.Always Save the Girl: If Carmelita is truly in danger, I'll come to rescue her. It doesn't matter ifthere's a trap or two involved, I'll help her out no matter what.Amnesiac Lover: Faked it after theCooper Vault jobto be with Carmelita. When the time came for her to figure out the truth, she, er, didn't take it very well.Ancestral Weapon: My trusty cane, inherited from my father. All Coopers had a cane of their own, but a lot of them varied in shape and size. Rioichi from feudal Japan had a bamboo cane stylized like a sai, Sir Galleth from Medieval-era England had a sword shaped like a cane, the list goes on.Anti-Hero: Make no mistake, pal. I may have stopped more than a few guys from doing terrible stuff to more than a few places, but I'm still a wanted crook. No badge of honor for me.But of course, all the people I've saved these places from were even worse criminals, and of course, what would a gentleman thief like me be without a heart?Awesome Ego: I'm just that good, people.Back Stab:Not the literal kind, that would be gross, but a classic skill of mine would be sneaking up on a guard from behind and knocking them over with my cane.Bag of Spilling: Yeah, I'm... more than a little out of practice on performing some of my clan's trademark thieving skills,but I can still do the Ninja Spire Jump and Rail Slide moves as good as I ever did.Beauty, Brains, and Brawn: I'm the \"Beauty\", Bentley's the \"Brains,\" and Murray's the \"Brawn.\"Blatant Burglar: Mask, hat, it's pretty much self-explanatory. But with or without it, I'm still pretty good at my job, so why fix what isn't broken?Blue Is Heroic: I love to wear blue and my ancestors have a blue hue to them and I'm the star of my line of video games. Ever notice that heroes like me love to wear blue and howsome villains like Mugshot or the Grizz wear purple?You could even say that purple is the new black for villains!Blow You Away: My Silent Obliteration technique involves me moving fast enough around an enemy to create a tornado that quickly and quietly takes care of them.Break the Haughty:Not by too much, but ever since Clockwerk's near-resurrection crippled Bentley...I've been a little more concerned about my friends' well being.But Not Too Foreign: When the Coopers got around, theygot around. Even if I was born in America, I have roots in Egypt, Arabia, England, Scotland, Japan, Germany and even more.Calling Card: Just to make sure the Cooper Gang's targets know:I was here, and you can't do anything about it.Cane Fu: That family heirloom is more than just for show, folks.Can't Stay Normal: While my downtime with 'Lita was fine and all, I just couldn't let go of my family's legacy of thievery andneededto pull another job. And to think, it rather nicely segued into our time-travel adventure.Character Development: Over the course of our adventures, I've been a bit more open to helping my pals with their feelings and problems.Chick Magnet: According to Bentley. I could go further into this one, but I don't think I need to.Childhood Friends: With Bentley and Murray ever since our orphanage days. Once again,a guy couldn't ask for a better gang of friends.Chivalrous Pervert: Carmelita's just one of the prettiest people I've ever seen, so can you blame me for trying?Conveniently an Orphan:Not by a long shot, in contrast tothat cat-guyfor the first few years of his adventures. My family legacy is often at the crux of our greatest adventures, and I have the cane to prove it.Criminal Amnesiac: More likePhonyAmnesiacCop. It didn't stick.Dating Catwoman: My relationship with Carmelita in a nutshell. I'm a suave gentleman thief, she's a hard-as-nails cop and there's some banter and a shock pistol in-between here and there. And having her on my tail has always made our capers all the more fun.Deadpan Snarker: Me? Snarky!?Not at all!Domino Mask: Yes, I'm already a raccoon, but it's still the mark of a true thief.Everyone Has Standards: As I said before, me and my gang only ever steal from criminals. Stealing from or harming innocents is the mark of the cruel and cowardly.noteWell...okay, wedon'talwaysfollow this way of thinking.Family Honor: Gotta preserve the Cooper legacy.Flanderization: I think that during that time-travel adventure I may have gotten a littletooexcited to get back to the grind. Jokes got cracked in such record time that they got sloppy, andI probably forgot to eat breakfast during our last day in Arabia.Regardless, I still trusted in my pals like always.First-Person Snapshooter: Bentley asks me to do this sort of thing for our recon missions. It's fun, and it helps with the eventual big heist.Foe Romance Subtext: With Carmelita. I don't think I even need to say it.Four-Philosophy Ensemble: I'd say I'm Apathetic mixed with Realist. I don't really need to worry about a lot of things since I'm just that good at my job, but when things get painful, the way I see it is you just gotta keep moving forward.Four-Temperament Ensemble: The \"Phlegmatic\" kind, if you couldn't tell already. I'm cool, I'm collected and I'm always there for my pals.Fun Personified: Sly Cooper,bon vivantinside and out.Gentleman Thief: I am indeed one very charming character, wouldn't you think?Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Yeah... those aren't frayed pants like they say. Not a problem, though. This worldisvirtually one without pants.Hard Light: As I learned during my trek into the Cooper Vault, my dad invented a technique for rail sliding onlaser beams! Really. It's as amazing as it sounds.The Hero: I guess? I don't really wear it on my sleeve, but I do take out a lot of cruel crime lords and my gang pretty much saved the world from both Clockwerk and spice-induced madness.Honor Before Reason: And challenge before reason, and also fun before reason. It's who I am and how I roll.Hooks and Crooks: The Cooper cane, obviously.In-Series Nickname: Carmelita calls me \"Ringtail\". Don't know why, but if it's her secret pet name for me, I appreciate it.Just a Stupid Accent: Excuse-a me? I find it incredibly-a hard to-a believe that-a my disguised Italian accent-a is-a just \"stupid\". It-a worked perfectly in-a Venice and Arabia!Just Like Robin Hood: Me and my own merry men tend to donate some of our scores to a few charitable causes, such as orphanages.Karmic Thief: Stealing from an average joe isn't honorable in the slightest, hence why our targets for thievery are usually people who definitely deserve it.Lineage Comes from the Father: Quite a few people have compared me to my dad, given both the family resemblance and the Cooper legacy I inherited from him. Don't really know as much about who my mom was.Mascot with Attitude: Sure, me and others who fall under this likethat other kidshare confidence and coolness, but I consider myselfa refined variant. Compared to to how he thrives on being loud and proud, I do my job by sneaking around and sprinkling a little bit of charm here and there.Nice Guy: Who said being a thief means that I can't be friendly from time to time?No Guy Wants to Be Chased:Nope!Remember what I said about challenge and fun. I want that for my adventures and Carmelita just happens to be both.Only Sane Man: Yes, Bentley's the brains of our team, but it's often up to me to reel everyone in whenever things getreallyhot.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Whenever the snark and sultry go off, so do the gloves.Paper-Thin Disguise: Somehow not even Inspector Fox saw through that disguise at Rajan's ball. All I'm saying is it usually works.Phantom Thief: You can't catch me for long, mon ami.Rascally Raccoon: And proud to be one. I'm even the page image!Stealth Hi/Bye: Most cowardly crime lords never saw me coming... or going, for that matter.Super Drowning Skills: Really should've taken those swimming lessons back at the orphanage.Sympathy for the Devil: ViciousKlaww Gangmember or not, I couldn't help but feel sorry for Jean Bison and hissituation. Happy that he managed to land a new job at the EPA after we took down the Klaww Gang.noteWait, he got himself frozen in another block of ice? Geez, that sucks.Taught by Experience: As I didn't have the Thievius Raccoonus at first, I had to self-teach myself how to do a lot of sneaking around and climbing. It paid off.Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: When we decided to recruitthe Panda Kingof all people for the Kaine Island heist, I was the most apprehensive since, well... he was one of the Fiendish Five that killed my parents. I (mostly) got over it with time, though.Time Master: a couple Cooper techniques seem to allow me to slow down time, speed it up or even stop it. No idea as to how, but they sure were useful... and entertaining, too!Trapped in the Past: Ever since my last caper. Thanks a lot, Le Paradox.And that's pretty much everything, pal. By the way, if you just so happen to have a time machine on you, would you mind helping a guy out? I kinda lied about the whole \"sand growing on me\" bit.noteCole:Don't worry, Cooper. I'm hoping I get that time-travel power Kessler had. You'll just have to wait.Darth Vader:I cannot help but sympathize with you, raccoon."}
{"text": "Hello. I'm in space. Space. I'm in space. This is my tropes page, my tropes space, space! Space, ba-baba-ba space. Wanna go to space.Recycled. I wanna be recycled. Eco-friendly, I wanna be recycled.Recycled IN SPACE!! SPAAAAAAAACE!I-I-I wanna go to space.I lived inAperture, now I'm in space.Was a computer. A space computer, computer in charge. Computer, space on her hard drive, space, space.In charge of Aperture, space computer in charge of Aperture, killed people, space.Then lady came, lady take me to space, space, went around the tests, tests for space, space!Lady killed computer, no-one in space, bad ending, too little space, lady came back for space.Guy woke her up, wanted to go to space, take me to space, they woke up computer, space, space.Computer did more testing, not enough space, lady escaped, put guy in charge, lots of space in his head, empty space, space, not smart, just space. SpaceSpace.Guy went mad, mad for space, space mad, went space, mad, lady part of space cops, computer a space lawyer, space lawyer.Computer wanted to put me in space, gave me to space cop, put me on guy, guy wanted to go to space, lady put portal on moon, moon, moon, Europa, Titan,Yavin IV, ports, wormhole, black hole, redshift, SPACE!I'm in space, guy's in space, space forever, space, space, spaaaaaace!Space? Space. SPAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAACE!"}
{"text": "DO NOT ADD ANY [spoiler:marks] THERE'S TOO MANY EXCESS [[Hyperlink Blocked]]SO F 4 R, TH 1 S GAME IS JUST A [Tiny little demo] SO PLEASE DO NOT ADD [Speculative tropes]OR ELSE I'LL STEAL YOU'RE [[Heart-Shaped0bject]]THERE'S TOO MUCH [Unmarked Spoilers] ABOUT [[D3lt4run3]]!!DON\"T SAY I DID'nT WARN YOUHEY EVERY !! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY 'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]]CLICK [Here]!!! TO [NEO]!!!!\"WHAT ARE THESE STRINGS!? WHY AM I NOT [BIG] ENOUGH!? It's still DARK...SO DARK!\"(THIS PAGE IS [Brought to you by] THIS [Beautifle Song] PLS LISTEN WHILE READING THIS [Once-in-a-Lifetime] PAGE [For Maximum Consumer Immersion] AND TUNE THE [Voice] IN YOUR [Head] TO [THISONE] OR [THIS ONE] OR [THISONE] OR [THIS ONE] OR [THIS ONE] OR [THIS ONE] OR [THIS ONE] OR [THIS ONE] OR YOUR FAVORITE [Synthetic Voice] FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007)HEY\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007EVERY\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007!! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY\u2007\u2007\u2007BUDDY\u2007\u2007\u2007'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]] SPAMT-SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!!! WOAH! IF IT ISN''T A... TRO pER?! HEY-HE Y HEY!!! LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE [All Alone On A Late Night?] RUINING YOUR [Rapidly-shrinking] LIFE HERE WHEN YOU CAN BE A [BIG SHOT!!!] WELL TODAY IS YOU'RE LUCKY DAY! YOU ARE [1000th Customer] TO VISIT THIS FINE PAGE!!. AS AN ALL-EXCLUSIVE, TIME-L1MITED GENDEROUS OFFER 4 YOU ONLY I'LL SHARE [[this one weird trick]] TO BEING A [W0rldFamis] S4LESMAN FOR THE MUCH REDUCED PRICE OF JUST YOUR [[Heart-Shaped0bject]]!! PLEASE [[Don't Touch That Dial!]] AND DON'T FORGET TO [[Like and Subscribe]] AND [[ring my bell]] FOR MORE [Hyperlink Blocked], FOR I S3ENSE THAT YOU AND ME ARE WELL ON THE PATH TO BECOME GR8T [Friend Request Accepted]!YOU MAY KNOW ME FROM [The Game] WHERE DESPITE BEING TREATED LIKE [DLC] BY THIS [STUPIDDOG!] I FINALLY BECAME A [BIG SHOT]!!! [unintelligible laughter]I WASN'T ALWAYS THE [[It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!]] GUY YOU KNOW [[Today Only]]! BEFORE THAT, I WAS NOTHING BUT CYBER WORLD'S [Adobe Premiere] [Busin3ss GuRU]! I SOLD THINGS AT PRICES SO LOW, EVERYONE I KNOW IS [[Dead]]!!! EVEN [[Queen]] COULDN'T RESIST MY [[Specil Offers]] AND I WAS ONE OF HER MOST [[Esteem StoreOwner]]S!BUT THEN, [[My life got flip-turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became]] JUST A FORSAKEN [[Long-Nosed Doll]], LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN!!! I FINALLY GOT TO BECOME THE [[Big Shot]] I ALWAYS WANTED BUT THEN ALL THE OTHER [Sails] MEN GOT [Jelus] AND I JUST... lost them. NO MORE [Friends], NO MORE [Profits], NO MORE [Hyperlink Blocked]! ALL MY [Friends], [[Abandoned me for the slime]] I [Becomed]! SALES, GONE DOWN THE [[Drain]] [[Drain]]! I WAS FULL OF [Shame]!AND SO HERE I AM, [Troper], IN THE BACK ALLEY OF [[The City]] LIVING IN A [DumpSter] JUST [Weight]ING FOR SOME [[Shmuck]] TO HEAD TO THE [[Deep Abyss]] OF QUEEN'S [Mansion] TO RETRIEVE THE [[Workout-Ready Body]] JUST [[Lyeing]] THERE SO I CAN FINALLY [Big]. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT I'LL [[Shoot For the Sky!]] AND GET ON THE PATH TO ... [[The Big One]]. I'LL GET SO. I'LL GET SO. I'LL GET SO.I'LL GET SO. I'LL GET SO. I'LL GET SO. I'LL GET SO\u2014 [[Hyperlink blocked.]]REMEMBER, [[Little Sponge]]! MANSION... BASEMENT... FIND IT! YOU;RE [Old Pal] SPAMTON [LOVE]S YOU! AND DONN\"T FORGET TO BUY MY [[Specil Fun Pak]] RIGHTHERE! IT'S FUN FOR THE\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007! AND WHILE YOUR [Window shopping] WHY NOT GET YOURSELF A [Those bastards turned me into a marketable plushie]HERE! ...WHADDYA MEAN IT'S [[Sold Out]]?!? GET AALL THESE [[Tropes]] CAN BE [[Yours]] FOR THE [[Low, Low Price]] OF [[Hyperlink blocked]]Acid Pool: ONE DAY KRIS AND ME WILL BE [[Big Shot]]S, VACATIONING IN [Burning acid] WHILE THEY SOAK IN THE [[Hyperlink Blocked]]Action Bomb: LOOK AT THOSE PIPIS, AREN'T THEY [[Beatifull]]? THEY WON'T BE [[Available]] FOR TOO LONG BECAUSE THEY ARE [[Rigged To Blow]]!Affably Evil: HA HA! IF THAT'S HOW [[You see]] ME, THEN [[Sure, I guess]]! I MIGHT BE [[Just another]] [[Villain you know]] AND [[Hate]]. BUT I'M MORE THAN WILLING TO [[Taking You With Me]] TO MY [[Magnum Opus]] WHEN I [[Shoot For The Sky!]], IF YOU [Help me!] GET ON THE PATH TO... [[The Big One]]!! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS [Follow the instructions, word by word] AND ONCE [[You're Done]], I WILL HELP YOU BREAK YOUR [[Silly Strings]]!! BUT DON'T YOU [[Double]] DOWN ON OUR [[Specil Deal]]... I WON'T FORCE YOU, BUT I WILL HAVE TO [[Killed]] YOU!!Alas, Poor Villain: WHO NEEDS FRIENDS? THEY JUST LEAVE WHEN YOU GET [[BIG]]! NOT LIKE THEY'D [[Rag]]RET IT! NOT LIKE THEY'D [[Miss Out!]] WHEN YOU [[Will Expire]], RIGHT?... Right...?Alternate Character Reading: IN [[100's of Anime Series Straight from Japan]] MY VCR ICONS HAVE BECOMED NEW WORDS. THEY TURNED [wreck] INTO [[Killed]]. [Pause] INTO [[Death]]. [[CathodeScreens]] INTO [[CathodeScreams]].Amazing Technicolor Battlefield: DURING OUR [[Boss]] BATTLE AT THE.END OF THE [[Weird]] ROUTE I FIGHT THE [[Little Sponge]] IN FRONT OF CYBER WORLD(S [[Dark]] FOUNTAIN!Amazing Technicolor Population:K E Y G E NAmazing Technicolor Wildlife: IF [[Pipis]] ARE [fersh water clams allergy]] THEN \u2018THE BOYS\u2019\u2019 ARE THIS BECAUSE WHO THE [[$!$!]] HAVE HEARD OF A [[Too Bright Oww Stop It Burns]] CYAN BLUE CLAM!?Ambidextrous Sprite: MY [[$4.99DDd]] GLASSES SOMETIMES [[Switch to New Brands]] COLORS WHEN I TURN [[Around]] OR SOMETIMES WHEN I DON'T! ESPECIALLY WHEN I [[Fight]] THE [[Little Sponge]] FOR THE [[First Month Free!!!]] TIME!!Anaphora: I [[Just Do It!]] WHEN I TELL THE [[Little Sponge]] 2 \u201c\u2018LOOK IN MY [[Eyes]] LOOK IN MY [[Nose]] LOOK IN MY [[Mouth]] \u201c DURING MY [[yourfacehere]] ATTACK!And I Must Scream: I USED TO HAVE [Power]! [Prestige]! [Popularity]! THAT'S [Spamton G. Spamton]! BUT FRIENDS DO NOT LAST! FRIENDS ARE NOT WORTHY OF YOUR [[HeartShapedObject]]! MY SALES WERE ONCE [Hot, Hot, Hot!] BUT NOW THEY'RE [[It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!]] WHEN MY [phone] LEFT ME IN DEEP [$!X$]. I LOST ALL MY POWER AND JUST HAVE THESE [Great Deals] LEFT! AND WHATt'S WORSE, UNLIKE THAT DAMNED [[Clown Around Town]], I KNOW JUST HOW MUCH [$!X$] I'M [Burning] IN. AND AS EXCITED I WAS FOR [A Ride around Town on Our Specil Cungadero], EVEN THAT JUST LEFT ME [Dark].Anonymous Benefactor: I WAS NO MORE THAN A [Little Sponge] WHO HATED ITS [$4.99] LIFE WHEN I BECAME A [BIG SHOT!!!] THANKS TO MY [[Who are you? Who? Who?]] ON THE [Phone]. THEY GAVE ME EVERYTHING, UNTIL THEY DIDN'T. THE VOICE WENT [Down in the dumps? Try this one weird] AND LEFT ME IN THE GODDAMN DUMPSTER! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO THEY ARE, DON'TCHA? WELL, THAT [Small Fry]... No, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to \u2014 TOO MANY EXCESS VACATION DAYS?? TAKE A GOD DAMN VACATION STRAIGHT TO HELLAnthropomorphic Personification: THE CLUE'S IN THE NAME YOU [Little Sponge]!! WHENEVER AN EMAIL [Slip 'N Slides] INTO YOUR INBOX WITH PROMISES OF [Big Cash Prizes], WHENEVER A BLOCKED CALL FROM [The Middle of Nowhere] TRIES TO [Reach You About Your Car's Extended Warranty], YOUR OLD PAL SPAMTON IS RIGHT THERE ON YOUR SHOULDER, [Begging On My Knees] FOR YOU TO TAKE THE DEAL!! [Just Take It]Anything That Moves: SO LONG AS [[They]] HAVE [[transfer KROMER]] YOUR OAL SPAMTON G. SPAMTON IS [[High Interest Rates]] IN ANY1!,!! I SAID AS MUCH IN MY [[twitter.krome]] Q&A! SO LINE UP [Sis Bro OR non-binary Ho] FOR SOME [[Love Is All You Need]] FROM THE SPAMMANN!! ((JUST [TRANSFER] KROMER FIRSR OKAY?!!!)Arc Number: EVERY\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007!! KNOWS SPAMTON G. SPAMTONS\u201dS ARc NUMBER IS [[Prices You Can Afford]] OF MY FAVORITE YEAR1997!Armor-Piercing Question: I ASKED THAT [[LittleSponge]] IF THEY WANTED TO BE A [Heart] ON A [Chain] FOR THEIR WHOLE LIFE! IT REALLY MADE THEM RECONSIDER THEIR [Money Back Guaranteed!]Ax-Crazy: YOU WANT [Utterly Deranged] PRICES FOR [Outdoor Camping Hatchets], I\"M YOUR MAN! [Safety Guaranteed] AND DEFeNITELY NOT [For Use in Cardio-Vascular Surgery] OR [In Case Of] [[NO DEAL]]!!!Because You Were Nice to Me: I GAVE @Holidaygirl1225 MY GREAT DEAL OF [1 Of The Boys] BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONLY ONR WHO EVER READ MY\u2026\u2026\u2026THE ONLY ONE TO READ MY\u2026\u2026\u2026 \u2026I GAVE IT TO HER [100% OFF]>] EVEN IF [[pipis]] CORRUPTED HER [Download Free Games] LATER IT WAS STILL THE [[World\u2019s First Charity]]Berserk Button: I'M SO [[Proud]] WHEN SOMEONE BECOMES A [[BIG SHOT]], I COULD [[Killed]] THEM! BUTDON'T [$!$!] CHEATORI'LL GO [Smokin' Red-Hot]!Big Bad Wannabe: I'LL LET YOU IN ON A [[Trade Secret]], [[Their]]'S ANOTHER WAY FOR ME TO [[Big]]. JUST GIVE MY [[CommemorativeRing]] TO THAT [[Hochi Mama]] AND THEN I CAN SEIZE THE CHANCE TO [[$@?%!]] OVER QUEEN AND [[Becomed]] GOD! AND ALSO [[Pipis room]].Blush Sticker: [[Maybe It\u2019s Maybelline]] OR JUST PART OF MY [[Face]] WHO KNOWS?? EITHER WAY [[#1 Brand Rouge]] DISAPPEARS WHEN I BRCOME [[NEO]]Bold Inflation: ALL OUR [[all lowercase letters]] ARE [[SOLD OUT]]! ONLY THE ONES IN [[Bit's and Peaces]] REMAINBowdlerise: YOUR N#UMBER 1 RATED SALESMAN [1997] IS [[Brands]] SUITABLE FOR THE HOLE FAMILY , MY VALUED [[Troper]]!!! WE ALL HAVE TO THINK OF THE [[Delicious Kromer]] AND ADJUST ADVERTIZE ACCORDINGLY!INSTEAD OF CALL [Big Shot] AUTO \u201c)Chingadero\u201d [TranslateSpanish.krom] FOR \u201c[$@&!LOAD]\u201d I CALLED IT [[Cungadero]]I CALLED THAT [[Hochi Mama]] a \u201cHOCHI \u2018 INSTEADOF A \u201cHOOCHIE\u201d BECAUSE YOUR NUMBER ONE SALESMAN DOESN\u2019T OFFEND [[1/2 of consumers say]] HIS VALUED CUSTOMERS BY [[Use Me]] SLANG FOR [Promiscuous Woman]Brain Uploading: JUST BRING ME THE EmptyDisc AT MY PRIME[[Garbage]] STORE FRONT KID!! ILL UPLOAD MYSEF AND DO THE [[Rest]]! THEN TAKE THE LOADED [[Disc]] BACK TO THE [Basement] AND PUT IT IN THE [[Get Battle Ready In 5 Easy Steps]] BODY!! AND THEN WE CAN AND THEN WE CAN AND THEN WE CAN [[Big]]But Thou Must!: NEVER FEAR /DEAR 100000000th CUSTOMER!!! YOUR OLD PAL SpAmTON IS 100 PeRSENT HONEST, GERINTEED/ .I WONT [Apply Force] YOU TO TAKE MY [Deal]\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. \u2026\u2026\u2026.. SO LONG AS YOU[[Making]] THE RIGHT [[SAY YES]] CHOICECall a Hit Point a \"Smeerp\": I CALL [Transfer Money Now] DELICIS [[kromer]] INSTEAD OF [[Dark]] DOLLARS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE [[Dark Yet Darker]] WORLDS! HUH??? YOURE ASKING IF [[Kromer]] IS A [corrupted data] OF [[TranslateDanish.krom/request=Kroner]]?.! [[$#\u00a3$]] IF I KNOW [[Kid]]The Chessmaster: YOUR [[*^&@]] RIGHT, I'M SMART! IF YOU START [[Roleplaying Captain Genocide]], I'LL PLAY YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE [[Like a damn fiddle]]. SPEAKING OF CHESS, WANT SOME CHESS??? I GOT ALL THE PIECES! KINGS,QUEENS, [[Hyperlink blocked]], BISHOPS BISHOPS, ROOKS, [[PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN!]],PIPIS! THE WHOLE SET, BABY!Cool Shades: STYLIGN [Colored Glass] FOR ANY [[Deal]] YOU WANT, PERFECT FOR ANY [Wanted: Head of Staff]! THEY CAN BE YOURS TOO FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF [NEO] [[Friend Request Accepted]]!! IT EVEN [[Make Cash Fast With This Simple Trick]], BUT [It's not always about the money] FOUR ME!Crazy Homeless People: I USED TO BE A [[Big Shot]] THE BIGGEST \u2018BUT NOW [summer sales] GONE DOWN THE DRAIN[? AND I LOST EVERYTHING. LOST AND [now) LIVE IN A GOD DAMNED GARBAGE CAN.. BABBLING ABOUT MY [Glory Days of 1997] AND tRYING TO STRIKE [[BIG]] AGAIN WITH A [[Little Sponge]]s [[SOUL]]Creepy Basement: WHERE M>Y [[top ten rpg bonus bosses]] BATTLE TAKE PLACE., BUT LISTEN HERE [[Little Sponge]] I WONT GO DOWN THERE [[Alone]] WITHOUT YOU AND YOURMY EMOTY DISC! THE MEN THERE WOULDDeal with the Devil: DON'T BE RIDICLOUS! SPAMTON'S [[Sweet Deals!]] ARE THE BEST THEIR IS! YOUR [[Heart-Shaped0bject]] IS A [Low, Low Cost] TO PAY TO BECOME A [BIG SHOT!!!]Demonic Dummy: I'M JUST A [[Long-Nosed Doll]] BUT I'M GONNA [[Reach For The Stars!]] TO BECOME A [[RealBoy]]! WHEN I GET [Big] AND [Becomed] [NEO], LIFE HANGS ME UP BY THE [[SillyStrings]] WHICH GOES TO SHOW YOU HOW I'M [[Just a Puppet]] AND CAN NEVER HAVE [[Freedom]].Determinator: WHAT KIND OF SALESMAN WOULD JUST [File for Retirement] AFTER A [[DEAL]] GONE WRONG OR [Dozens and dozens of]!? NOT THIS ONE, EAHEAHEAHEAHEA!!! A [[Big Shot]] IS NOT A QUITER AFTER ALL! WHEN ONE FALL'S THROUGH YOU STRIKE ANOTHER! YOU [[Play Our Game]] HOWEVER IT ROLLS! AND IF THAT DOESN\"T WORK!?!? IF YOU [Power Drill] RIGHT THROUGH [[Rock Bottom]] AFTER A [Free Sneak Peak of all your Favorite] OF [[HEAVEN]]!?!? ...well, if I can't break free, I can help someone else do it.Digital Abomination: WHAT!?!? JUST BEACUASE A HUMBLE [459 Unread Messages (Spam)] WANTS TO [Reach For The Stars] AND WOULD [Do You Want To Run This File?] HIMSELF INTO A [Workout-Ready Body] MADE OF [.jpeg Editor] AND [[Hopes And Dreams]] TO RIDE IT OUT OF [Photon Readings Negative] AND EVEN PAST [Lighting Solutions] STRAIGHT TO [[Heaven]] DOESN;T MEAN IM A [[Horror Genre Antagonist]] OR SOME KIND OF [Ia! Ia!]!!! NEEDING A [[HeartShapedObject]] FOR A LITTLE [Boost To Start Off Your Day] WON\"T MAKE YOUR OLD PAL SPAMTON A [Terrifying Monster Films, In Full HD!] [[That Will Blow Your Mind]], IT\"S JUST [[Business Awareness]] IS ALL!!!Double Entendre:WHEN MY [[Head]] GETS [[Big]], I TELL YOU TO [[ ENL4RGE YOURSELF]]! COMES FROM ONE OF MY ADS!THAT [Hochi Mama] HAS BEEN MAKING [Hyperlink Blocked] WITH KRIS, I SWEAR!IF Y0U'VE GOT THE [[LIGHT]] COMING FROM A [[HeartShapedObject]], WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO BUT [[Show it off?]]Downer Ending: ON BOTH MY [[Spoilers for Deltarune Ch2] ENDINGS??? $!$!!! WHAT DOES A [[Deathof]] A SALESMAN GOTTA DO 2 GET A $!$?! HAPPY ENDING AROUND [Your Ad Here!]]?.!?AT THEEND OF THE [[Web MD is it normal]] ROUTE... WAIT... NOBODY IS IN HERE EXCEPT [Just The Two of Us], RIGHT? MADE SURE?...alright then, listen troper.At the end of the Normal Route, I realized a little too late that, after everything I did to become special and try to taste the freedom I so desired,nothing about it mattered\u2014 I would still never be anything more than a simple puppet. No matter whether Kris and their friends spare me or defeat me violently, the end result is the same. My strings cut, I became their strength and faded away. I couldn't become free like I\u2019d dreamed but maybe those kids... maybe they can break their own strings... [[Boo-hoo]], [This sucks], [What else is in?] SURELY S0M3TH1NG [[Worth It]], [Right on!]?! EXCEPT...THE $!$!. WEIRD ROUTE IS SOMEHOW EVEN WORSE!!!!!!! IN ThAT PleaseTag#AU KRIS, THAT [Hochi Mama] ANDHeart Shaped ObjectCOME IN RIGHT AT THE GOOD PART AND [[Freezer Burn? Try Our New Brand!]] ME LIKE [cheap DLC]!!! ALAS POOR SP^MTONThe Dreaded: FEAR??? SURE, KRIS IS [Ice Cold Lemonade] AT ALL TIMES EXCEPT OUR [[Business Meeting]]S, AND [They're] FRIENDS WERE [of a Nervous Disposition] TOO! EVEN THE [Purple Dinosur]!!! BUT YOURE NOT AFRAID, RIGHT??? THERE'S [Everything] TO FEAR AND NO [Anxiety Pills] IN STOCK!!!Dying as Yourself:...listen again, troper. As I said before, in my final moments on the normal route, I regained some kind of bitter clarity. I was not destined to become the big shot I so wanted to be, forever doomed to be tied to the strings that control my life. Thus, I joined Kris and their friends on their quest as a special item, hoping that they can break free from their own bonds... Or at least, I would have, ifKris DIDN'T FILL THEIR [[Pantaloons]] WITH FORTY POUNDS OF [[Wednesday Tra5h]]!!!SERIOUSLY! WHAT! THE![[Free While Supplies Last]]?????Eating the Enemy: D0N\u2019T GET 2 CLOSE TO MY [[Top Mouthwash Brands]] DURING MY sPECIL ATTACK MY VALUED [[Troper]]! OR I WILL [[You're not you when you're hungry]] YOUR [[HeartShapedObject]] &THEN SPIT [[You]] OUT LIKE [[DLC]]!Electronic Speech Impediment: FROM THE CLASSIC U\u2019VE COM3 TO EXPECT! SPAMT SPMATON G. SPAMTG BRAND SPEAKS JUST LIKE THE [[Spam]] EMAILS YOU KNO W AND [[Hate]]! SOME [[Little Sponges]] SAY THIS MAKES ME HARD TO [[[translate.krom]]]AND [[Scary]] BUT WE KNOW BETER,, RIGHT} MY VALUED KRISTOMER?! JUST KEEP ME [[Let Me Out]] OF YOUR SP@M FOLDER AND WIN ALL THE WILD PRIZES! [[Hot Singles]]! AND [[1000000ty Customer]] !Even Evil Has Standards: YOU DON'T BECOMED [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]] BY [Rebelde]ING THE [[Terms and conditions may apply.]]I MAY COME TO [HALLOWED BE THY NAME!!] KRIS IF THEY TRY TO [[?!?!]] ME OVER IN THE [[Oh my~!]], BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEY'RE [[Half-Pr1ce Sallamy]] THAT STILL [[I want it all! And I want it now!]] AFTER ALL THE [[Ice Cream]] THEY MADE THAT [Hochi Mama] MAKE! THEY EVEN HAVE THE [[Eggs]] TO [Use] THAT [Purple Dinosur] AND [Life-S1zed Plushie] LIKE THEY DIDN'T [[Status Update: Single]] THEM! ...NOT THAT 1 WOULDKNOW ANYTHING ABOUT[[1 Search Result Found]].WHY DO I HAVE [[Where's the beef?]] WITH THAT [[Clown Around Town!]]? THAT\\S EASY! IT'S BECAUSEIT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE IT'S BECAUSE[[Hyperlink Blocked]] AND NO RESPECT FOR THE [Angl\u03a3 Grind]!!! ALWAYS ABOUT [Free Games! Just Click Here] DOING NOTHING BUT [Play Now] WHILE I [[ Bust my @$$]] OFF TRYING [to Climb the Corporate Ladder,]!!!Exact Words: ALL MY [Specil Wares] ARE SOLD [As Seen On TV!]MY [[Patent Pending1997]] \"S. POTION\" IS PERFECT FOR [[Schmoes And Daves]] WHO WANT T0 AFFECT THEIR HP A LOT!noteWARNING: SIDE EFFECTS OF S. POSION MAY INCLUDE [Die] AND [[\"I don't feel so good...\"]], AND [No Money Back Guaranttee]!FOR ALL YOU [[Dangerous Criminals]] OUT THERE WHO WANT AN [Attack Stat] OF [[Five Septillion, Three Hundred Twenty-four Sextillion, Eight Hundred Twenty-three Quintillion, Four Hundred Ninety-two Quadrillion, Three Hundred Eighty-four Trillion, Three Hundred Forty-eight Billion]], THEN \"THE BIG ONE\" IS FOR YOU! CUT ANYTHING 2 PIECES!Explosive Overclocking: AFTER KRIS AND THEIR [[Violent Thugs Roaming The Streets!]] BEAT ME UP, I TRIED TO FILL MY [[Body]] WITH [[Electricaty]] AND TURN MYSELF INTO SPAMTON [EX]!! BUT IT ALL [[Blew Up In My Face!]]...with strength like that, maybe those three could break their own strings.Failed Attempt at Drama: [What do you mean?] SPAMTON [[NEVER!]] FAIL5 AT [[Drama Queen]]... [Okay, maybe once]. IN MY [[Suuuuuuuuper Boss]] [[BATTLE 1! FIGHT!]], I EMIITED WHAT YOU [[Humans]] CALL [[Victory!]] SM0K3, AND [I tried so hard] TO [YOU GOT BOOST POWER!], BUT W3LL... I GU3SS THAT WASN'T [[Victory!]] SM0K3 AFTER ALL, BECAUSE... [HERE COMES THE BOOM!], [Here come the fireworks!]...Fisher King: WHEN I RETURNED TO MY NEW [Luxurious Summer Homes!], I [House-Flipping Service]D THE PLACE INTO MY [Very Own Personal Temple]! I GOT RID OF QUEEN's [[Unwanted Photographs]] AND ADDED MY OWN! I ALSO GAVE THE PIPIS A [Spaceious New Home For You And You're Family] WHERE THEY CAN HANG OUT AND DO [Hyperlink Blocked]!!!Gag Nose: TRY THE [[Spamton Nutri-Nose]] FOR ALL YOUR LONG NOSE DOLL NEEDS [[While Stocks Last]]!,!!! I EVEN USE IT DURING MY [[NEO]] BATTLE!! DON\u2019T ASK YOUR DOCTOR!! GET NUTRINOSE TODAY [[in stores]]!!!!SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE [[Dead]]Glitch Entity: [[Download Goat Simulator]] CALLED M3 THIS [[saying:quote]] THAT I WAS A {\u201cCORRUPTED PR.OGRAM\u201d AFTER OUT BOSS_BATTLE! I\u201dTS TRUE THT EVERYWHERE I GO IN [[Cyber World]] TENDS TO GLITCH OUT & THE [[Basement Apartments 4 Sale]] IS WHERE THE \u201c\u201d\u201dCORRUPTED [[Data]] \u201cIS KEPT ACOORDING TO [[MS Paint]], BUT IS IT RE>ALLY THE TRUTH??! [[You]] THE [[Troper]] DECIDE!A God Am I: IF YOU [[Chat Roulette]] T0 ME IN THE MANSION DURING THE [[Nightmare]] ROUTE WHILE IM [[Changeing]] ILL TELL THE K.ETCHUP KIPS TO LEAVE ME [[Alone]] @ND GO PLAY MINECRAP W/HILE I BECOME [[God]]Goroawase Number: WHEN [[Our Largest Library of An1me and Manga]], I CALL MYSELF [[watakushi]] BUT I SPELL IT WITH [[My Favorite Year]] MINUS THE [[Ninet eEn]] AND [[Subtract 3]] TO MAKE [[\u30ef\u30bf94]]. [[Sukkiri.]]Gratuitous English: ALSO IN THE [[Visit Japan Today!]] VERSION I SAY [[Death]] AND [[Die]] INSTEAD OF [[DESUDESU\u3067\u3059DESUDESUdeathDESU\u3067\u3059\u3067\u3059~]] AND [[die \u30b0\u30ec\u30f3\u56e3!]] BECAUSE THEY [[Sounds]] THE SAME. BUT WHY DO YOU CARE, YOU [[worthless object]]?Gratuitous Japanese: YOU THOUGHT YOU'VE SEEN ENOUGH [[\u6b8b\u9177\u306aten\u4f7f\u306e\u3088\u3046\u306b]]? THINK AGAIN! [[Remember the time]] [[\u30dd\u30a4\u30f3\u304f\u3093]]BARGED INTO MY[[Commercial Zone]] TO ADVERTISE HIS [[handsome, HANDSOME]] FACE [[On a Hat]]?!V A P O R W A V EHappy Birthday to You!: [All Rise] FOR THENATIONAL SPAMTON, EYAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Gobbless] OUR [GloriousNation] WE SOLUTE OUR [Hyperlink blocked.]He Knows About Timed Hits: TRY THIS [[1 Crazy Tip]] a,nd PRESS \u201cF1\u201d DURING OUR BATTLE TO [[Doctors Hate Her]] AND SUMMON A TINY ANGEL SPMTON 2HEAL SOME HP! BUT BEWARE MY DEAR [[Victim]]! THIS IS A THIS IS A [[this key has already been used]] OFFER AND WILL ONLY WORK [[once]]!Honest John's Dealership: WHAT DOES IT MEAN? MY DEALS ARE 100 % [Honest!] I'M AN [[HonestMan]]! I ONLY ASKED KRIS TO SHOW ME THEIR [HeartShapedObject] FOR THE PRICE OFHostile Show Takeover: WHAT DOES IT MEANx2?? YOURE [[Killing]] ME TROPER! PL3ASE STOP [[Libel Laws in My Area]] BEFORE [[Hyperlink Blocked]]!! A [[Big Shot]] LIKE ME DOESNT\u2019 NEED TO [[Hostile]] QUALITY BRANDS LIKE [[fungermer]] AND [[Twit Home]].com! I JUST [[$&%$]] THEM AND THEN WE [[$^$#]] UNTIL WE MADE A VERY SPECIL [[Deal]] TO HELP ALL THE [[Little Sponges]] IN NEED!! zI HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A MAN OF THE [[Money]] AND CARE DEEPLY ABOUT ALL THE LITTLE [[Please Give It To Me]]. CHARITY{} IS MY MIDDLE NAME!! YES!!!!!!! SPAMTON G. SPAMTONCHARITY SPAMTON!!, IF ITS FOR THE [[Children]] THEY CANNT COMPLAIN RIGHT?{!?.? SO GIVE ALL YOUR [[kromer]] TO THE C.HILDREN (AND SPAMTON] AND W1N WILD PRIZES FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!!!!!!!I Just Want to Be Free: I WAS NEVER A SALESMAN FOR THE [Money] OR [[Account Details]]!! I WAS ONLY EVER IN IT FOR... The [[Freedom]]. TO MAKE YOUR OWN [Deals]! TO CALL YOUR OWN [Shots]! AND SOMETIMES IN THE MORNING, A LITTLE [[Hyperlink blocked.]] YOU WANT IT TOO, DON;T YOU? MAKING [Deals], [[Rejoice]] IN YOUR [Success]...and have no strings attached to you that dictate what you're supposed to do without any control of your own...Infinity +1 Sword: FOR THE MOST[because you can, you have to]CUSTOMERS, WE HAVE SPECIL DEALS!THANKS TO THE POWER OF [Neo], WE HAVE YOU COVERED!!![Acting Lessons] FINALLY PAYING OFF? WE HAVE STYLYSH [Colored Glass] ONLY FOR THE MOST [Charismatic] OF CUSTOMERS. FOR EVERY [[Deal]], FOR EVERY [Business Meeting], GUARANTEED TO BRING KROMER TO YOUR [Wallets of the Finest Leather] EVERY TIME!!! INCLUDES PROTECTION IN CASE OF [My eyes! The goggles do nothing!]FOR OUR [Rough Trail] SORT OF CUSTOMERS WHO WANT [Self-Defense Lessons] AND [Bodies Beyond your Wildest Imaginings], YOU;RE IN LUCK! ONLY THE FINEST OF [Extra-Strong Guitar Strings] SCARFS, GUARANTEED TO MAKE A [[Badass]] OUT OF EVEN THE [Softest, Most Comfortable] OF [Goat Herders Wanted]!!! [WARNING: Do Not Operate While] [[Study Medicine Abroad!]]Insane Proprietor: THE ONLY THING [Mentally Deranged] HERE IS MY [[Deals]]! SPAMTON G. SPAMTON, [Our prices are insane!] PRICES SO LOW, EVERYONE I KNOW IS [[Dead]]!!!I Never Told You My Name: WHY DO I KNOW KRIS'NAME? BECAUSE ALL [[Honest Salesmen]] SHOULD KNOW THEIR [[Esteemed Customers']] NAMES ALREADY! IN [[All Seriousness]], THAT-...No, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- KRIS IS JUST THE TYPE OF [[Customer]] WHOSE [[Fake Passport Displays This Shady Name]] IS KRIS! AM I RIGHT?Large Ham: [[Oh Yes]] WE GOT [[Ham]]! BIG [[Ham]]s! [[Steamed Hams!]] [[Ham]] AND [[Eggs]]! [[Green Eggs and Ham]] [[Just $3.99 For a Limited Time Only]]! AND BY [[Eggs]] WE'RE TALKING [[PIPIS]]!Let No Crisis Go to Waste: HEY KID, I NOTICED YOU WERE [[Going Around Being a Jackass]] AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF [[You could probably make one hell of a cake with this...]]. SO I FIGURED, HEY, WHY DON'T I JUST SELL MY [[Commemorative Ring]] TO YOU AND LET YOU DO THE REST?? THAT'LL MAKE ME [[BIG]] FOR SURE!Let Us Never Speak of This Again: SPEAKING OF THE [[Knight]], IT'SNo! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-WHAT THE [[Heck]] ARE Y4 TALKING ABOUT??? EXCESS VACATION DAYS??? LET'S TALK ABOUT [Friends].Meet the New Boss: WHO THE [[$!$!]] IS[Mettaton]????? WHADDAYA MEAN I [[Share a Birthday]] WITH HIM?????Moment of Lucidity: WHO, ME? IMPOSSIBLE! THE [[Free Personality Test \u2014 Find Your Online Match Today!]] RESULTS LEFT NO DOUBT ABOUT MY SAN1TY BEING [Off the Charts]! THERE IS NO WAY. THERE IS NO WAY. THERE IS NO WAY. THERE IS NO\u2014(static)H-Hello? Is there anybody out there? If you can hear this, please, send help. I'm at the\u2014 HUH??? WHAT?? NO, I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING JUST NOW!!! ...BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE THEY WERE TALKING TO YOU.Mysterious Middle Initial: THE [[G]] STANDS FOR [Great Deals Every Day!], EAHAEHAEHAEHAEH!!! [1000 Jokes to Amuse Your Friends] ASIDE, IT STANDS FOR IT STANDS FORIT STANDS FOR IT STANDS FOR IT STANDS FOR IT STANDS FOR[[Hyperlink blocked.]]No Fair Cheating: THINK Y0U CAN [[Hold Enter]] TO [funnycheat] YOUR WAY THROUGH MY [[Big]] BATTLE? WELL, YOU'RE [$!$!] RIGHT! BUT DON'T [Cry More] WHEN I START GETTING RED WITH [Unyielding Rage]!!No Indoor Voice: ALL CAPS NO [Brand-New Brake Pads] WHEN I TALK, EAHEAHEAHEAHEAH! BECAUSE WHO LISTENS TO [Today's Sponsor] WHEN IT\"S NOT [Full Surround Sound] [[Bass-Boosted]] UNTIL THEY KNOW THEY NEED [Hearing Aids], RIGHT!?!?O.O.C. Is Serious Business: ...once more, listen troper. I like you, and I appreciate the time you take at reading my page, so I'll tell you a little secret. As you may have read throughot this page, whenever you see me talk perfectly, with a lack ofNon Sequitursand with noWord-Salad Horrorlike right now, it's a sign that either something has gone horribly wrong and I'm genuinely asking for help (as seen when you talk to me about what I fear), or that I'm being genuinely, sincerely grateful to you for trying to help me (as seen when I commend Kris and their friends after myOptional Bossbattle). So now that you know what I amBeneath the Mask, if you know how to keep a secret, then please, keep it a secret between us... YOU WOULDN'T [wanna have a bad time] FROM [Reveal his secrets!] TO OTHERS, NOW WOULD YOU, [[Little Sponge]]?Perfectly Krom-ulent Word: TAKE A RIDE AROUND TOWN IN OUR SPECIL [[Cungadero]]!!!Permanently Missable Content:IF YOU [Transfer Me To The LoadedDisk], YOU WILL [[Miss Out]] ON [[My Big Sales]]! SEE YA KID!DON!T FORGET TO [[Transfer Kromer]] mE TO MY [[Brand New Battle Ready Body]] IN THR BASEMENT AREA BEFORE YOU FIGHT [Killer Queen] AND SEAL THE FOUNTAIN OR I WILL N[[EVER]] BECOMED NEO AND YOU WILL MISS MY SUPER ONE OF A KIND NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES BOSSBATTLE!! LIKE THE [Clown] I WONT GO WITH YOU TO [YourTownUSA] AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER &% CAN\u2019T BE REFOUGHT AT THE [[Gym Me,bership 50% Off]] SO DO IT WHILE sTOCKs LAST!!!!SO YOU AND YOUR [Side Chick] PLAY ALL [Nice and Soft] WITH EVERYONE BUT IT'S STILL FINE TO [Spit] IN MY FACE AND BEAT ME UP!? SORRY KID, [No Deal]!!!Perpetual Smiler: EVERY SALESMAN WORTH THEIR [Iodized Table Salt] MUST HAVE A [Healthy Smile] READY FOR ANY [[Deal]], EVEN WHEN [[They're]] LIFE IS [Lower than our Lowest Prices of All Time!]Power Makes Your Voice Deep: LOOKING FOR [[Deep]]??? TRY [Power of NEO]!!!! SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE [[Hyperlink Blocked]]Pragmatic Pansexuality: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU ARE [man, woman,] OR [Little Sponge], TRANSMIT [Kromer] TO ME AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW I'LL BE BEGGING FOR YOUR [HeartShapedObject]!!Psychological Projection: I TOLD KRIS THEY'RE ALL [[All Alone On A Late Night?]] AND LIVE IN A GARBAGE CAN! WHAT? YOU MEAN IT APPLIES TO ME?!? ...Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me...WHAT?! I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! TOO MANY EXCESS VACATION DAYS?? TAKE A GOD DAMN VACATION STRAIGHT TO HELLPuppet Permutation: BACK WHEN I WAS THE E_MAIL GUY, I WAS JUST LIKE THE OTHER [Your Ad Here]s. THEN WHEN I FINALLY MADE MY [[Big]] [Specil Deal] WITH \u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 AND BECAME THE [[Arrrghhhh! The Light! Help! My Eyes! STOP!]] GUY, I [[Becomed]] THE [[Long-Nosed Doll]] YOU SEE [[Right Here]]!Repetitive Name:SPAMTONG.SPAMTON!!! [[The Trusted Brand You Know and Love! (C)1997]]Riddle for the Ages: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING [Buuuuddy]!! WHAT IN THE [Wide World of Sports] IS A [Hyperlink blocked.] SUPPOSED TO BE??? YOUR OLD PAL SPAMTON THINKS ABOUT THAT TOO!! IT KEEPS ME [Up All Night]!!Saying Too Much: KID, I'M GIVING YOU ALL THE [Terms of Servise]! THE WHOLE DEAL DOWN TO THE [Hyperlink Blocked]!!! EVEN IF I'M [[24-Hour Surveillance]] AND [Will be Prosecuted in Several States] IF I TELL YOU ANY OF THE [Big Business]!!! BELIEVE ME, YOU;LL KNOW WHEN IT HAPPENS.Secret Shop: IF YOU WANT TO BUY [[Some Good Deals]] SO MUCH, I'LL BE WAITING AT MY [[Home-made Storefront Site]] IN THE [[Trash Area Closed For Repairs]] WHERE YOU CAN GIVE ME YOUR [[Wacky Stacks]]! COME...ALONE.Shoddy Knockoff Product:WRONG! THE [Identifying Counterfeits: A Guide by] SOLD BY QUEEN'S [Souvenir Peddlers and Merchants] IS STOLEN FROM ME! THEY EVEN REMOVED MY [[Spamton Guaranteed Stamp of Approval]] FROM THEIR BOWTIES! MY [[Exclusive Official Big Shot Bowtie!]] IS BETTER AND [[Legal Only In This State]].Significant Anagram: HEY KID\u2019S DID YOU KNOW [[Your Old Pal]] \u201cSPAMTON\u201d\u201d USED TOBE THE EMAIL GUY MEANING I WAS [[hi girl I was once]] A \u201cPOSTMAN?\u201d\u201d?Sir Swears-a-Lot: YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO PUT A LITTEL [Razor-Sharp Edge] IN YOUR PITCH!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN A CUSTOMER GETS [Still On Dial-Up?] AND [Undecided? If You Call Right Now] RIGHT IN THE [$$!$]ING MIDDLE OF A [Quick And Easy] [[Deal]]!!! SALES ARE A [[Content Warning]] BUSINESS, SPECILY WHEN YOU;RE [Warning: May Inhibit Pain Relief].Slut-Shaming: HEY KID!!!! NO [NEEOD] FOR THAT!! IM an HONEST MAN!.. JUST BECAUSE I CALLED THAT [Soft Serve] A \u201c HOCHI MAMA\u201d &AND \u201c\u201dSIDE CHICK\u201d\u201d} JUST BECAUSE I JUST BECAUSE JUST BECAUSEI ..ITS A [[Tv Tropes listof Downplayed Examples]] AT BEST!Stone Wall: DIDN'T YOU KNOW [Neo] IS FAMOUS FOR ITS HIGH DEFENSE!?Stylistic Suck: MY [[Self-Portrait]] AND [[NEO]] DON'T LOOK [[Spicy]], MOSTLY BECAUSE [[It wasn't in the budget, I'm really sorry man]].Superboss: IF YOU;RE WILLING TO [[You are a courier, hired by]] ME TO THE [[Creepy Basement]] OF QUEEN'S [Mansion], YOU WILL GET A [Never-Before-Seen] CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE THE [Power of NEO]!! THIS [Specil Offer] IS EVEN [Tough]ER AND [Rough]ER THAN THE [Big Mama] UPSTAIRS, SO DON'T MISS OUT!!! NOW COMES W1TH A FREE [Cool Mixtape]! \"WAKE UP AND TASTE THE \u2007 \"Symbol Swearing: I USE [[Great Discount]] [@$@!] WHEN I NEED TO!Tongue-Tied: WHENEVER I TRY TO TALK ABOUT [Hyperlink Blocked] OR [Hyperlink Blocked], MY [Free Translation Software] MAKES ME SAY [[Hyperlink Blocked]] INSTEAD!!Trademark Favorite Food: DELICIS KROMER! ONE OF MY [Moves] HAS ME [Swallow] $IGN$! YUM YUM GREAT DEAL!!Troubled Backstory Flashback: WHEN I GO [[NEO]], I START SEEING [[Memories In A Snap]] IN [[Full HD Quality]]. DEAR CUSTOMERS, PLEASE STOP TAKING AWAY MY [[New and Used Furniture for Sale]].Unexpected Shmup Level: DIDN\u2019kT I SAY ID MAKE THAT [[Little Sponge]] INTO A [[Big shot]]??! SPAMTON G. SPAMTON [Always] KEEPS HIS WORD WHEN [[Ripping People Off]]!!! DURING OUR [[Boss Battle]] I BROUGHT [Brands You love Back in STOCK] THE [Y] SOUL MECHANIC FROM MTT-Brand [[Undertale]] SO WE COULD [[Download Free Shoot Em Ups]] TOGETHER!!!Unperson: SORRY KID, ALL [Second Opinion]s ARE [[Out of Stock]]. [All the Best Graphic Design Softwares]!? THEY'LL [Silence Conversation] IF YOU BRING ME UP! THE [Your Ad Here]s!? THEY ACT LIKE THEYVE FORGOTTEN ME!!! They've forgotten me... YOU;LL HAVE TO [[Trust]] ME ON THIS ONE.Walking Spoiler: WHILE I [[DON'T ALLOW VANDALISM IN MY STOOOORRREEE!!!]] AND SEEMINGLY THE [[It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!]] GUY LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN, I HOLD THE [ShadowCrystal] AND [Guest starring] AS A [Big Shot] IN THE [[Secret passage]].We Buy Anything:NO!!!! YOU [[BUY]] OR [[BUYMORE]]!!We Can Rule Together: [[A Deal is a Deal]]! YOU HELP ME, AND I WILL BE [Passing my Saveings On To You!] WERE BOTH [Say pal, you don't look so good], WE COULD BOTH [Stand Tall], AND WITH THAT [Heart-Shaped0bject]??? WE CAN BE BOTH [Big Shot]s LIKE WE DESERVE!!!We Used to Be Friends: ME?... FRIENDS? EAHAEHAEHAEHAEH!!! YOU DON'T NEED [[Friends]]!! I CAN MAKE MY HANDS INTO PHONES!! WE DON'T NEED ANY [[Man, Woman, or Child]] [[At Half Price]]!! WE DON'T NEED [[MIKE]]! ... Mike... AND I SPECILY DON\"T NEED [Save As .jpg]!!! PRETENDING THE WHOLE TIME [I'm Here If You Need To Talk] WHEN I SHOULDOF KNOWN HE [Get an Exclusive Deal] TO [Smokin' Hot! Now with] [[Acid Fumes]]!!! HE EVEN STOLE MY [0.00$ Plus Tax] LOOK!!!Wham Line: WHEN I F0UGHT THE [[Little Sponge]] ON THE [[define:WYRD]] ROUTE,, NEO WILL NEVER LOSE UNTIL THEY CALLED THAT[Hochi Mama] CAME AND THEN SHE\u2026 AND THEN SHE\u2026[[quote HEY IS IT COLD IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?]]\u201dWhy Did It Have to Be Snakes?:YOU WANT [[Merry-Go-Round]]? [[NO!]] LET ME SURPASS THAT [[HONK]]ING [[Clown Around Town]] BEFORE I GET [[Symptoms May Vary]]![Cathode Televisions] ARE STRICTLY [Banned From All Our Establishments]!!! THEY ARE INFACT [[Banned]] FROM [My Sight]!!! I WILL NOT ALLOW ANNYMORE [on print, it's Libel] OF MIKE!!! AND AS MY VALUED CUSTOMER [We Recommend You] BRING YOUR [Police-Issued Breaching Ram] T ANY OF THEM YOU SEE!!!Wings Do Nothing: EVEN WHEN I DID IT AN D BECOMED [[NEO]] IT WAS THOSE [[$!$!]] STRINGS [[Holding Me Up]] INSTEASD OF THE WINGS ON MY BACK!!! AFTER KRIS[P] AND& THE KETCHUP KIDS CUT THEM I COULD NOT\u2026 I COULD NOT [[BIG]] AND FELL STRAIGHT [[Down]]Word-Salad Horror: IT'S NOT EASY BEING THE [[It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!]] GUY. WHAT!? GO IN THE [Mansion] MYSELF!? NO!!!!!THE MEN INSIDE WOULD THE MEN INSIDE WOULD THE MEN INSIDE WOULDWord-Salad Humor: TALKING'S [[not easy. That's why]] I CALL UPON THE POWER OF [[Gobbledygook]]! A [[One-of-a-Kind]] CHANCE TO [[Can't Read]]! AND [[PIPIS]]Words Can Break My Bones: OR RATHER [[YOU\u2019RE]] BONES HUH, KID\u2019S!?!? EAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEAHEA!!! \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026., SO WHEN I OFFERED [[Kris]] MY GREAT [[Deals]] WHEN WE [MeetHotSingles] IN THE ALLEY MY $$DEALS$$,\u201d \"BARGAIN$\" and \"$$PRICES$$\". BULLETS TURNED INTO THE SWEET TASTE OF [[Pain]] AND [[Pain Accessories]]DON'T FORGET TO [[Like and Subscribe]] FOR MORE [[Hyperlink Blocked]]!"}
{"text": "\"Looks like I got some things to do!\"Me, right before I started my quest to kick Gnasty's butt.Note: can be read in the voice ofCarlos Alazraqui,Tom Kenny,Jess Harnell, orLuis Daniel Ram\u00edrezin Spanish for the latter.Hey, 'sup everyone? I'mSpyro the Dragon, hero extraordinaire! Don't let my size fool you, I've saved the Dragon Realms and accomplished more things in my life than most of the old elders combined.Not to say my life was always that awesome, though. From the time I was just a hatchling to the time I became a member of the frequent world savers club, I mostly herded sheep as a chore given to me by the elders. Yeah, to say it was rather boring would be quite the understatement. If it wasn't for my best friend Sparx, I would have gone out of my mind in boredom until that day.What day is that? Simple, it was the day Gnasty Gnorc decided to try and get revenge against dragons. You see, old butt face was like jealous of our gems or... Something. I dunno, wasn't paying attention to that part. All I know was that pain in the tail tried to turn all of a dragon kind into statues, but what Mr. Nuts for brains didn't realize he missed one. Namely, me. Now, other dragons would have been scared, but not me. I jumped right into action and started to torching the behinds of Gnasty's minions before they knew what hit them, freeing dragon kind a long the way.To make the story short though, eventually I found Gnasty and kicked his butt back to the dump he came from!After that, the Dragon Realms were hit with a sudden wave of bad weather. Yeah, not exactly the best way to celebrate a victory. So, me and my buddy Sparx decided to take a well deserved vacation at Dragon Shores. Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned. As it turned out, in the far off Realm of Avalar a mole only known as 'The Professor' was attempting to use a portal to summon a dragon to their worlds, just around the same time I was jumping through my portal to Dragon Shores.Yeah, to say I wasn't really amused would be an understatement. As it turns out though, Avalar was currently under attack from some midget raptor thing called Ripto. As it also turned out, Ripto hated dragons, and the main reason he was trying to take over their realm was because there were none there. So, the group there decided it to be a good idea to summon a dragon to fight him.Yep, no flaws with that logic there.In the end though, it was all good. I kicked Ripto's butt, finally got my trip to Dragon Shores, and met some of my closest friends on that journey.Sometime later, in the Year of the Dragon, the dragon eggs that were \"routinely delivered by fairies\" (yeah,right.I totally believed that one, Elders) were stolen by a rabbit wearing a robe. Having jumped down a rabbit hole (wait... This sounds oddly familiar now that I say it...) that was too small for the other dragons to go through, I was once again charged with the task of saving dragon kind by going an adventure to the 'Forgotten Realms', where I soon faced off against the true villain, \"The Sorceress\". Along the way, I met up with some pretty cool allies, and even that rabbit decided to pull aHeel\u2013Face Turnto help us.And that was pretty much it. I went on some other adventures since, but I've already rambled on enough. I think it's time to get to that whole 'Trope' thing this site is named for.Also, since my personality and thatotherSpyro's personality is as different as night and day, apparently he got his own page as well. But since I'm so much cooler,his page wasn't considered worthy of existing. What a shame! That's why I'm getting theUpdated Re-release!Awesome Tropes that describe me:American Kirby Is Hardcore: In most places, what you see is what you get; I'm just a dragon who likes torching Gnorcs, Rhynocs, and Riptocs and helping his friends. In Japan, theyseriouslytoned me down and made me more of aKid-Appeal Character.They also turned Sparx green.Badass Adorable: Apparently, some of my fangirls find me as this.I am not adorable! I'm fierce, and don't you forget it!Badass in Distress: Hate to admit it, but that Mammoth guy kinda got the drop on me. Good thing Hunter helped me out when he did.Bad Butt: Sorry, but my contract forbids me from using the more \"sensitive\" words, as they call it. Not like it matters, as I still manage to be awesome regardless.Bag of Spilling:Averted, baby!Unlike thatotherSpyro, I'm actually smart enough toremembermy abilities in between games.Sadly, it's kindaPlayed Straightwith my breath weapons. I learned them inSeason of Flame,Enter the Dragonfly, andA Hero's Tail. I guess I just prefer my fire breath over everything else.Berserk Button:Go ahead, harm one of my friends. Idareya'.Big Brother Instinct: I saved a bunch of dragon eggs intwogames, now! I'm pretty sure that qualifies. Also, Moneybags should've thought twice before trying to make off with one.Blood Knight: At least back in my first outing against Gnasty Gnorc, I was a lot more eager to get into scraps with enemies. These days, I'm still willing to charge in, but it's usually just to help my friends or to get theMacGuffinof the day.Breaking the Fourth Wall: I tended to do this a lot in in the first game andA Hero's Tail. Heck, I'm doing it right now by just listing these tropes.Breath Weapon: Comes with being a dragon.Celibate Hero: Yes, I'm aware of the plague of 'love'. Luckily, I'm immune to it. Didn't stop Ember from crushing on me until I hooked her up with Bandit, though.And no, I do not have a crush on Elora. We're just friends. Stop asking!Deadpan Snarker:No, I am not snarky in the slightest. What would make youeverthink that?Elemental Powers: Comes with being a dragon. Might not be the same level as theotherSpyro, but I still managed to kick some serious tail with it.Playing with Fire: Well,DUH!It's great for taking out bigger enemies and lighting rockets.An Ice Person: Early on I needed the help of a fairy or power-up gate to breathe this, but later games would give me this as a default ability. Sometimes, I can walk on frozen enemies like they're platforms.Shock and Awe: Didn't gain this until way later. It's especially useful for activating machines.Blow You Away: I only really got this in one of the GBA titles, but it's still there. Try tellingthattoother me.Making a Splash: I got this ability after taking out Ineptune.It's not very useful most of the time, but it works great against fire enemies.Bubble Gun: Uh... Yeah. I still don't get this power.What kind of stupid power is breathing bubbles, anyway?You know, aside from catching dragonflies.Flight: Sadly, despite how cool I might be, I'm still not old enough yet to fly under my own power outside of speedways or without the use of a superfly powerup.Ground Pound: One of the few good things Moneybags did in my first three adventures was teach me the Headbash/Horn Smash/Horn Dive/whatever it wants to be called. Pretty useful for hitting switches, breaking certain chests, busting Dark Crystals, and taking out a good number of baddies. It can also be upgraded into aShockwave Stomp.Heterosexual Life-Partners: I dunno what that first word means, but me and Sparx have been partners since the first adventure. Turns out all newborn dragons have this relationship with their dragonflies. Huh. Maybe I should've paid more attention to the Dragon Elders.Horn Attack: A lot of my abilities make pretty good use of these babies. The charge, Headbash, and some of my Dragon Kata attacks are pretty decent examples.Implausible Boarding Skills: Riding a skateboard's a lot easier than you'd think. Just grab onto it with your claws and use your wings to keep steady.Kamehame Hadouken: The Chi Punch isn't so much a punch as it is one of these.Who named that move, anyway?Kid Hero: As said, I've accomplished more things as a twelve-to-fifteen year old than most dragons have in their entire life!Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: Do Ilooklike I can carry a shield? Come to think of it, my wings can do the same thing. They're perfect for reflecting projectiles.Mascot with Attitude: Proud of it, too!Mighty Roar: The Chi Roar pretty much acts as weaponized puberty.One-Hit-Point Wonder: As awesome as I am, one hit without Sparx by my side can do me in.The Other Darrin: Me and my other counterparts have had a lot of different people voicing us. When only counting me, I've been portrayed byCarlos Alazraqui,Tom Kenny, andJess Harnell, and that's just if the English language is taken into consideration. In Japanese,Akiko Yajimaprovided my voice, though she made mea lot more saccharine than I normally am.Power-Up: A few gates spread throughout the realms, plus some fairies, are able to provide these when I need them. Aside from theSuperflypower-up, those include:Nitro Boost: One of the earliest abilities I could use. Running across a Supercharge ramp or gate lets me pick up alotof speed.Gotta go fast!Heheh...sorry; couldn't resist.Fireball: The Superflame power-up lets me shoot these at anything that's too strong for a simple charge or flame attack to utilize.Nigh-Invulnerability: Some of these turn me invincible for a bit. It also lets me walk on lava and swim in otherwise deadly water.Spring Jump: Then there are a few of these that just launch me high into the air. Pretty useful for getting to higher ground.Prehensile Tail: Some of my Dragon Kata moves let me attack with my tail.Purple Is Powerful: As a purple dragon, I have access to all the elemental powers and an incredible power no other dragon possess. Well, apart from other purple dragons.Razor Wings: The Chi Wings attack lets me use my wings to slash at enemies.Silent Protagonist: For some weird reason, I didn't have any lines inShadow Legacy. Either I had a sore throat that day, or someone forgot to give me anything to say.Super Drowning Skills: I had this back in my first adventure, and it gets taken up to eleven in the Game Boy Advance titles. You'd think I gained a sudden allergy to water in those adventures.Super Not-Drowning Skills: Another useful thing Moneybags did was teach me how to swim. In the console titles, at least, I keep this skill intact.Super Spit: If I have a rock in my mouth, it's gotta be shot at the nearest baddie in sight. That's kinda what rocks are for.Supernatural Martial Arts: The Dragon Kata techniques I learned to save everyone from the Shadow Realm(no relation)act kinda like this.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: After years of speculating, people finally get to see how I'd fare againstthat orange bandicoot I teamed up with oncein aduel to the death, even though they're mostly counting my incarnation fromThe Legend of Spyrowith the other incarnations' abilities thrown in for good measure.No points for guessing who won; great work, other me! Though I gotta admit, Crash put up a pretty good fight. Still, though:nobodyhurts Sparx while I or any of my other selves are around!Use Your Head: Besides being able to breath fire, I've been told I have a rather hard head.Really useful for taking down baddies!Wall Crawl: The third move Moneybags taught me was the ability to climb ladders. Or walls that looked specifically like ladders. Really, it's kinda hard to tell, sometimes.Wall Jump: The Dragon Elder, Astor, taught me how to do this. Why do I get the feeling that all that's missing isa hat, overalls, mustache,and a quest to find those Power Stars the Professor mentioned?Worthy Opponent: I actually referred to Gnasty Gnorc as one of these after kicking his butt the first time. Which, in retrospect, is kinda not accurate sinceall he did was run away for most of the fight. At least the next time I fought him, he actually put up a fight.Would Hit a Girl: If you're evil enough or hurt my friends, I have no problem torching your butt regardless of gender!"}
{"text": "I'm the originalStarwalkerI was in thatGameFirst thebirdsPissedme offThen thejailPissedme offBut then Ijoinedthe CastletownAnd I alsohelpedin the final\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 Battle with thePowerofStar WalkerNice toMeetyouThesetropesarePissingme off...Animation Bump: MyStar Walkingwas\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 Smooth when IjoinedBut usually I justSlideBeyond the Impossible: Ihangout in theUpperleftcornerand don'tturntostonewhen in the Cyber\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 WorldBold Inflation: I like tospeakCertain\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 words inGoldCatchphrase: \"TheseXarePissingme off...\"/\"ThisXisPissingme off...\"Inexplicably Awesome: I have two\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 Powers I don't turn tostoneand I power up the giantRobotInterface Screw: The upper Leftcorneris MyspaceJoke Character: My entireexistenceis\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 aJoke... Stoplaughingit'sPissingme offLethal Joke Character: In that otherGameyou canplayasMein thePracticemodewhere I use my Power ofStar Walkerto destroypuppetGuy's giant robot. GG E.Z.no punctuation is funnier:PunctuationPissesme off...Optional Party Member: Parodied... Once youfindme in theForestI willjoinyour item\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 pouch withblueBoy andBluemanand laterIwillslideBehind you at the \u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 fairPsycho Prototype:Inverted: I'm the originalStarwalkerbut I'm the\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007 nicestoneunlike thebirdsthatPissme offSay My Name: I willAlwaysremindyouthat I'm the originalStarwalkerSecret Character: If youfindme in theForestthenIwill alsojoinyou in your castle\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007\u2007TownVerbal Tic: I like to put longPausesbetween mywordsStar Walker"}
{"text": "\"All we are saying is: Give war a chance!\"All we are saying is... Give war a chance!Me, right before runnin' N'Mani through.(For the full effect, read this in the voice ofCrispin Freeman.)So, this is one a' those self-demonstrating things, is it? Well, I suppose I could oblige, seein' as ya went to all the trouble of doin' this.You can call me Sundowner, leader of Desperado Enforcement LLC, PMC of the \"Winds Of Destruction\", a proud warmonger, and \"The Californian Wildfire\". Born in Alabama, I joined the army straight outta high school, where I went on to have a long and colourful military career. Least I did 'till an IEF ended it prematurely. But one cyborg upgrade later, and I was back in business faster'n you can say \"War is my life!\".'Course, y'all only know me fromthat one gamestarrin' Jack The Ripper, or as y'all know him \"Raiden\". In it, me'n Sam made our appearance in the first level, where we abducted African Prime Minister N'Mani, attacked his African city, an' killed him right in front'a Jack's eyes. What can I say, Africa was just gettin' a bit too peaceful for my likin'. How's an honest warmonger supposed to make a livin' when there's no war goin' on?After that, I didn't see Jack the Ripper fer three weeks. I used that time to get back to my deal withSenator Armstrongin takin' a bunch a street urchins from third world countries, cuttin' out their brains, and trainin' them to become cyborg soldiers to sellonce Operation Tecumseh was successful. Man, the money I coulda been makin'.Regardless though, just when we were about to get things under way, who would show up in Denver, where I was at the time in World Marshal's headquarters, but Jacky boy himself. After he killed Monsoon, I decided to have a word with 'im. I waited for him in the top floor a' World Marshal, showed off all my brains, and brought him out onto the roof wherehe an' I could slug it out. Jack ended up winnin' that fight, though. An' deep down, I think Sammy knew that that would happen.Now I believe this is where I should list all them tropes that apply to me:American Accents: And it don't get much more American than a Texas accent. Yeah, I know it's confusin' fer ya, since I'm from Alabama,but just go with it.Appeal to Inherent Nature: War's just part'a who we are. Why fight it?Barrier Warrior: In battle, I like to use shields that explode right in my opponent's face.Bald of Evil: Now I may not have a hair on my head, but evil? Why? Just because I killed an African Prime Minister and helped to destabilize Africa?Blood Knight: All I'm sayin' is: Give war a chance.Complete Monster: Aw, now that's just mean of ya. Sure I like the occasional atrocity here and there, but I'm just an honest warmonger tryna make a living!Cyborg: Yep, that I am. Was turned into one once the tech became available. I can slice up your average PMC like a tasty fish.Famed in Story: As Kev told Jack, I had quite the illustrious military career even before the IEF thing.Image Song:\"Red Sun.\"Now that's whatI call music!Large and in Charge: You better believe it. Monsoon might be taller than me, but with a physique like mine, in addition to bein' the leader a' Desperado LLC, I would definitely say I'm this.Perpetual Smiler: Yeah, you can always count on me havin' a big ol' smile right on my face.Psychopathic Manchild: I believeKids Are Cruel, and I am very much in touch with my inner child.Red Baron: Among the Winds Of Destruction, I'm known as \"The Californian Wildfire\".Scannable Man: Well, if'n ya look at mah forehead, ya might see I got a barcode right there.Sweet Home Alabama: Yep, born and raised in the ole' sweet home.War for Fun and Profit: Yeah, war's what ah'm all about.Sure, what Armstrong really wanted was to tear down the business part of it, but then everyone would get to fight their own wars. Maybe Icouldhave lived with that."}
{"text": "(He taking back his title! Picture TJ when he's focused throughPatrick Seitz)Whoa. I'm the first of the Disavowed to get this setup? Wonder what Orchid will think once she finds out?Wouldn't hurt to get the lay of the land here, make sure who I'm dealing with ain't connected to Ultratech.Before I was TJ Combo, I was born Tyler-Johnson Garrett. I'm a Texas boy, born near Galveston, the same place where Jack Johnson was born.Pops was my first teacher when it came to boxing. A stack of old tires was my first heavy punching bag. He worked the docks and was an Army vet. Much love to ya, Pops.First time I cheated, I was twelve. I lost my first bought and instead of learning from this loss as Pops woulda wanted, I opted for some good ol' fashioned revenge, using a roll of quarters in lieu of padding in my boxing glove, and broke the kid's nose.I began to cheat more. The more trophies I won, the more I cheated. Then, I got caught and was booted out of the league.I admit that I was a problem child growing up. After failing boot camp for knocking out the D.I., I relocated to Chicago, and worked in a gym on the South Side.Five years, I spent there, performing menial tasks, sleeping on a cot in the storage room. But it toughened me up. I saved up every dollar I made for boxing lessons. I studied footage of the boxing greats until I got that shit down to a science.I made my debut in the boxing ring. And I was winning. Because of me leading with a couple of jabs that preceded the right hook, the press nicknamed me Combo. The name stuck.After a decade boxing, I got my title shot. And I won.But as hard it took for me to rise, it was much easier to fall. I had it all; money, the mansion, the trophy wife. But I got sloppy and skipped out on my training. I paid for it when I lost the title. When I lost the championship, I lost everything.I ended up in the hospital when I shattered my forearm in a rage, following my wife leaving me and my fucking accountant taking off with most of my cash, leaving me in debt.I was at my lowest. Perfect for Ultratech to make their pitch. Cybernetic implants, designed to make me hit hard and fast.It was like selling my soul to the Devil.After being grafted with the implants, I was back on top of the world in less than a year. I was nothing more than a glorified slave to them, Ultratech taking the lion's share of my winnings and leaving me with the scraps.Then, ARIA had the wonderful idea of testing me against their newest toy, Fulgore. My orders were summed up in a single word:Lose.I took the third option, and turned Fulgore into scrap. ARIA was not amused. She leaked the reports of my implants to the press. I was stripped of my title and banned from boxing for life.Fuck Ultratech. Fuck ARIA.First thing I did after they cut me loose, I took a knife and cut the implants out of my arms. Hurt like fucking hell, but it was worth it. I bought out my old gym and renamed it Combo Gym, training up the up-and-coming fighters, while planning payback.That's when the Disavowed came knocking. They offered me a spot in their group, allowing me some payback. I couldnt say yes fast enough.I teamed up with Orchid, the Disavowed's founder. We made quite the team, taking the fight to Ultratech.I still work for the Disavowed, and I continue to train. If ARIA has a problem with that, then tough shit. She's gonna pay for screwing me over, come hell or high water.Don't think for a moment that I'll let anything get in my way, 'cause if you give me that moment, troper... I win!Arch-Enemy: If my newest theme hasn't made it clear, ARIA, I'm comin' for your mechanized ass.Badass Normal: Let's do a head-count. Among the competitors I deal with is the love child of Sub-Zero and the T-1000, a killer robot, a wannabe Indoraptor, a living skeleton, a rock monster, a ghost girl (who's actually nice unless you piss her off by messin' with her grave, which ARIA did) a freakin' werewolf, a vampire who just so happens to be Maya's twin sister, a fake-ass Imhotep, and a Human Torch reject. Okay, so some of the fighters are normal to a degree, but all I got are my fists.Bare-Fisted Monk: Granted that Orchid's baby bro is anactualmonk, I just fight with my bare hands.Boxing Battler: No shit, Sherlock. Granted that at times, Ifight dirty, but look at what I'm up against!Brought Down to Badass: After Ultratech outed me just because I didn't take a dive, I ripped out the implants myself. Hurt like a sonuvabitch, but if I gotta do this, then I gotta do this rightCamera Abuse: (snickers) Will TJ Combo smack a fool towards the screen? Yes. Yes I did in my first outing.Character Development: Yeah, I own up to it. I was a cheater for the longest time. But I'm making amends and showing the world that TJ Combo can do things square.Character Song: Oh, hell yeah! \"I'm Back (To Rise!)\"describes me perfectly! Props to Gordon and OmegaSparx for giving me this beauty!Combat Pragmatist: Before Ultratech outed me for using cybernetic implants, I had no problem using them to keep my title. And if there's a machine gun handy, then I got no problem in using it. With my return, however I'm branching out to MMA.Embarrassing Nickname: Go ahead. Call meMr. FistI dare ya.Empowered Badass Normal: I was already tough with the implants. And I'm just as dangerous without 'em. Got some tricks up my sleeve as a result of some latent abilities left over.Extremity Extremist: Started out as a boxer. But with my revamped moveset, I could be at home in the Octagon.Eyepatch of Power: I donned an eyepatch Nick Fury-style in my return appearance. Why, you ask? Because it looked cool, that's why.Fallen Hero: Looks like there's tons of people who studied the Jin Kazama Playbook on Fallen Heroes. Only difference is that I'm trying to make amends.Good Scars, Evil Scars: The scars on my arms?Yeah, that's me from ripping out the implants.Heel\u2013Face Turn: For most of my boxing career, I was the bad guy. Then Ultratech screwed me over for not taking a dive. 'Really makes you take a second look at yourself...Heroic Second Wind:Last Breath. This Instinct saved my ass more times than I can count. It's also how I clinched the victory over Balrog.He's Back!:Johnny Cageonce said that \"you can't fake a comeback.\" My fall from grace humbled me to the point that I wanna show the world that Iamthe real deal.Hunk: Looks? The attitude? The muscles? Check to all.Jack of All Stats: Got a good balance of power and speed.Jobber: Ultratech wanted me to bethe Butch to their Marcellus Wallaceto promote Fulgore. My response? \"Fuck that.\"Leitmotif:\"Yo Check This Out!\",\"Combo\", and my personal favorite,\"I'm Back (To Rise)\".Military Brat: Shocking, but true. Dad served in the Army, so bein' an Army brat, I got nothin' but love and respect for those who served... cold-cocking the drill instructor aside, that is.Some of my gear got the ol' Red White and Blueon them.Neck Snap: Aside from knocking fools into the screen, I can also snap their necks.Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs: It's a staple in any boxer's moveset, including mine.Recursive Reality: In my encore appearance, if I didn't outright kill my opponent, I chuck a KI2 arcade cabinet to parts unknown.Sociopathic Hero: Damn, was Ithatbad in the comics?Took a Level in Kindness: After losing everything, I mellowed out quite a bit.Tall, Dark, and Handsome: 6'1\". Still single, ladies. Come at me.Time-Passage Beard: Gotta keep the beard nice and trimmed. Less chance of it getting in the way when I fight.A Twinkle in the Sky: Another of my finishers. I'll send you on an all-expense paid trip on Air Combo. The flight's brief and the landing's a lot worse.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny:So some guysput me in an exhibition match against that punkBalrog, though for some reason, I thought the guy was named Mike Bison. Whatever. Even though that guy tried to keep me down with all of his dirty tricks,your boy pulled through. That guy ain't gonna be lacing up his gloves anymore, though.World's Strongest Man: And if you put me in the ring, then I'll prove it!"}
{"text": "Hostile response confirmed. Commencing disposal.(This page is best read in the voice of eitherNao T\u014dyamaorXanthe Huynh.)...I am... this isn't a dream... am I awake at last?Ah, greetings wandering human. I believe you have some- Why are you so startled? Clothes? Oh, of course.Autonomic Nerves do not require them. ...I do not understand what you are so distressed over, however, I will comply with your request and help you regain your lost dignity. Accessing... Connecting... Loading... CREATE!Thisshould suffice. Now, you would like to learn about me? Analyzing request... Compiling votes... sixty-five for and thirty-four against. It seems I will comply with your request, now listen closely:I am an Autonomic Nerve, unit number 10076. My assigned name is Vatista. My orders are to oversee the phenomena known as the Hollow Night. I was created in ancient times to watch over the Hollow Night and eliminate any In-Births or Void that are perceived as threats. I am only to be active when there is a mission for me to fulfill, otherwise, I remain in a dormant state. I was once awakened during a large scale battle between two In-Birth organizations known as the Night Blade and Licht Kreis. There, Iloaned one of the seven wings of my Aegis Attributor to Kuon, which he used to halt the transformation of Waldstein into a Void. I do not know what happened to it after that, though the sword wielded by Hyde seems oddly familiar.I became inactive again afterwards, awakening centuries later in the present day. There, I met the young In-Birth named Hyde, who I assisted in defeating Hilda. In the aftermath I found that the threat I was awakened to incapacitate was still at large, and chose to remain active in the real world until the next Hollow Night.Hyde invited me to stay at his house until then, despite me not requiring food or lodging. I have lived with him, Linne, and Waldstein since.I am a playable character in theFighting GameUnder Night In-Birth, where I was one of the original ten characters available in the vanilla version of the game. There, I function as amechanically difficult, yet highly rewardingcharacter that can fulfill most fighting styles exceedingly well. I also appear inBlazBlue: Cross Tag Battle, where I amDownloadable Contentand fight for Hyde's faction.If the description provided above was insufficient, worry not, I have prepared a list of tropes to help you become more familiar with me.I am but a simple, unassuming example of the following tropes:Androids Are People, Too: I am no mere human, and do not require such normal things as food, sleep, orclothing, though Hyde still treats me as if I were. An unusual In-Birth, he is.Angelic Beauty: ...Am I truly that attractive compared to ordinary humans?Badass Adorable: I was given a 10-star rating in the Kawaii statistic inCross Tag Battle, whatever that word means.Berserk Button:\"Berserk\" is an extreme term, but I find myself irritated by individuals that impede me with their stupidity. The ones known as Nanase and Waldstein discovered this the hard way. InCross Tag Battle, Celica'sabysmal navigational skillsgrew tiresome even for me, and I quickly seized the map from her.Charged Attack: Execution of my moves requires the player to hold a direction for just under a second before pressing the other direction and a button.Cloudcuckoolander: Wandering In-Births seem to view my behavioral patterns as very abnormal. Wearing no clothing and standing idle for a month are perfectly ordinary for Autonomic Nerves, yet humans do not comprehend how we behave.Difficult, but Awesome: I've gained a reputation for being the hardest character to use in my home game. The dexterity required to properly utilize my entire arsenal to its fullest is considered the main drawback to using me, but those with the patience to figure me out will find that they can kill their opposition extremely fast from any distance.Downloadable Content: My appearance inBlazBlue: Cross Tag Battle, where additional human currency is required to use me, alongsidethe child detectiveandthe possessed suit of armor.Elegant Gothic Lolita: My current choice of armor turns out to be a rather popular fashion trend among humans, and has caused me to be compared to a doll.Endearingly Dorky: Social ability is not a skill I was programmed with, but humans seem to like that about me. Peculiar.Fish out of Temporal Water: My last instance of being active was several centuries ago. Things such as cars, street lights, and skyscrapers were unheard of in that time period. I adapted rather quickly, however.Good Counterpart: I serve as one to Nu-13 inCross Tag Battle. The so-called Murakumo Units are quite similar to the Autonomic Nerves, but Nu exists to destroy indiscriminately, while I was built to protect the Hollow Night from those that disturb it.Hair Antennae: My hair spirals upwards into a shape that resembles a halo. Between that andmy Aegis Attributor, my appearance has been compared to that of an angel.Hartman Hips:Against what my official measurements might say, this body's hips are quite a bit wider than the rest of it.Informed Attractiveness: Based on the multiple comments on my appearance, In-Births seem to consider me very attractive by human standards. I do not understand why though.Innocent Fanservice Girl: Paraphrasing initial encounter with Hyde:Me:...Clothes? Oh, of course. Autonomic Nerves do not require them.Hyde:You might not need them, but I sure as hell do! Just put something on, okay!?Me:...I do not knowwhathas caused you to become so distressed.Last of Her Kind: I am only able to detect two other units linked to my system, one of which is being repaired by the In-Birth organization known as Licht Kreis. It seems all of my other sister units have long since been destroyed in the years that I have been inactive.Long-Range Fighter: I have a larger amount of projectile attacks at my disposal than the In-Births I am pitted against.Magitek: What is available today far exceeds what was used to create me. It was with the use of magic that I was conceived in the form I have, and the death of its practice ensures that I cannot be replicated.Ms. Fanservice: Outside of itships, this body lacks attractive measurements, however, that does not change the fact that I spend all of my time in Chronicle Mode completely naked, and I begin my Arcade Mode without clothing as well. I also wearFuture Spandexunder my dress, which is shown at the start of any match before I equip my armor. Humans might find it curious that in myinitial design, I was quite literally a product of my creator's fetishes.Mystical White Hair: My hair is silver, and as an Autonomic Nerve, I am far from human.Naked First Impression: When I first met Hyde, I had attempted to ask questions to him, but he changed the subject towards my lack of clothing. I did not understand at the time, but when a similar incident occurred with Orie, I got the message that humans are sensitive towards any lack of clothing.Nice Girl: My programming does not cover more casual interaction, but I see no reason to be impolite towards the In-Births I encounter,even if my master dictates I must combat them.No Social Skills: I was not designed to socialize with humans, I exist strictly to pacify In-Births and eliminate Voids. What exactly is abnormal about me remaining idle for the 2.5 million seconds it will take for a new Hollow Night to manifest?Not So Above It All: I joinAegisin firing \"warning shots\" at Ragna during the crossing of fates.Not So Stoic: Emotions are normally a very minor part of my programming, but there are moments when my calm demeanor slips. I was rather taken aback when Hydegrabbed my hand and pulled me along, I slung a few insults at Waldstein when he did not understand my speech pattern, and the cry I let out when I am defeated in-game is far from calm.Pointy Ears: My ears are shaped considerably differently from ordinary humans, though most do not notice since part of my armor conceals them.Power Floats: When in battle I tend to hover above the ground, and even while asleep I am suspended in the air.Razor Wings: My Aegis Attributor, which is my most notable weapon for dispatching In-Births and Voids.Rei Ayanami Expy: A simple yet accurate depiction of my character archetype.Restraining Bolt: I have restrictions on how much of my power I am permitted to use against human opponents. Despite being ordered to killHilda, I was unable to due to my power being too limited to do so.Really 700 Years Old: I have been overseeing the Hollow Night for centuries.Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Ba ba ba ba! Spinny spin spin! Pow pow pow!Ship Tease: Hyde Kido... Searching database. One result, I encountered him while naked, andhe invited me to quarter in his home, inciting avery strong reactionfrom me when he grabbed my hand.Nature of relationship: ...Ambiguous. Humans seem to find me being the sole female unfazed by Nanase's strange tales about Hyde another significant testament to our relationship.Sleepyhead: *Yaaawwnnn...* I'm only awake when I need to be, you see... That's why I go to sleep whenever I defeat my opponent...Tron Lines: The red lines on my armor are my Curse Commandments, which allow me to use the FLS that fuel my weaponry.Walking Spoiler: Despite being but one of many other Autonomic Nerves, my existence is far more significant to the Hollow Night at large than it may seem at first.Hyde's Insulator, the legendary sword that multiple factions have been chasing after him for, is actually my missing seventh wing reforged into a blade, subjected to such after I gave it to the In-Birth Kuon. That action itself set off several more events that would shape the current state of affairs in the Hollow Night. To borrow human slang, \"tl;dr I'm responsible for the entire setting being the way it is.\"Was Once a Man:Irrelevant. Dwelling on the identity of the human mind used to create me will impede my mission.*Yaaawwnnn*... \"Sleepy...\"*Floats into the air falls asleep.*"}
{"text": "Were you expectingsomeone else?TOO BAD, WALUIGI TIME!(This page is best readin the voice ofCharles Martinetwith a snide, nasally Italian accent)Waluigi is a character from theSuper Mario Bros.video game series. Created to be Luigi's rival, he debuted in\u2014w a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a aa a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A--(pants heavily)--A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A AA A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A AA A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A H H H H H H H H H H--!!!(still panting)HEY, YOU.YEAH, YOU.DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS????IT'S THE BEST TIME OF THE DAY. OF EVERY DAY EVER.WAAALUIGI TIME! WAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA!Now that you have been introduced to the greatness of Waluigi, we can talk. I am Waluigi, the greatest superstar in the world. I am thenemesisof the stupid green chicken coward Luigi, and I hate that guy! Hate hate hate hate! Urrgh. Waluigi would do anything to get rid of him. He thinks he is sooo nice. Everyone loooooooves Luigi. WHY CAN'T THOSE LOSERS LOVE WALUIGI TOO! I AM EVERYTHING THAT LOSER IS BUT BETTER! WAH!Err, anyway, I got my first job with the gameMario Tennis, alongside my brotherWario. And yes, heismy brother.Doesn't matter what they say to you, he is my brother. He is agreedy, smelly boy, but he is the only friend I have in this loser kingdom besides my sweet Piranha Plants. Those guys at Nintendo were designing the game, and Wario needed a partner. Then, my creator Fuhimide Aoki came up with the brilliant idea (Best idea ever.EVER!) to create a rival for Luigi. Luckily for the entire world, Waluigi existed, and I had just moved into the Mushroom Kingdom. They talked to me, and the rest of my glorious history is already known.From that day forward, I would go on and become the absoluteGREATESTMario character of all. Waluigi has tons of fans and he knows it. I know it because they always invite me to every party. Okay, so maybe it's because I am Wario's friend, and the only one he can count on to beat the Mario Bros, but still, everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom loves Waluigi.I haven't appeared yet in any of mybrother'sgames, but, to be honest, I have better things to do than helping my bro in his stupid treasure hunts. I never showed up in any of the Mario platforming games either, because Waluigi wouldneverhelp that goody-goody Mario and his stupid brother Luigi. So far, I have been only a major guest star to the parties,and that's it. Waluigi has much better things to do than save anyprincess, although Waluigi actually likes that stupid princess Daisy, who decided to stay with Luigi.ARGHAlongside my brilliant appearances in theMarioseries (which should be namedWaluigiseries), I also take some time from my very busy schedule to appease my fans. I make appearances in theSmash Bros series. Since Waluigi is too strong to be a fighter or a boss, they put me as an Assist Trophy. This means, when one of the fighters picks up the item, I will appear, kick the opponents'(s) buttocks(es) and strike them away. Too bad they won't let me stay in the arena for too long, otherwise the game might become Waluigified and I will no longer have to be an assist trophy, but a fighter instead. I am also the proud creator of the amazingWaluigi In The Family comics, that follow my daily adventures and part of my very busy schedule. Since Waluigi is very honest to his fans (and dishonest to everyone else), I will admit that, as much as mycomic version of me is extremely handsome, he is clearly not as beautiful as the real me. I also do notspeak in third person all the time. Ionly do thiswhen I'm angry, feeling superior (being happy is for losers),scared, or whenever I feel like it.I would love to stay and talk more about the greatness of my being and where I came from, but I will have to go. It's time topour three pounds of salt in Luigi's garden. For now, enjoy my tropes. Maybe after reading them you will get a glimpse of how to become as great as Waluigi, although you will never be anyway.SHUT UP!Tropes assigned to Waluigi are:Abhorrent Admirer: That stupid princess Daisy preferred to stay with Luigi. Fine by me.Accidental Hero: In my very own game,Psycho Waluigi. Even though Nintendohas yet to sell that game.I never intended to save that realm of Unconcia. I wanted to rule that land. But that stupid Psycho Iris wanted to go insane and destroy everything. Hope you like being trapped inside Waluigi's great mind, loser.A Day in the Limelight: Although Waluigi is a magnet to the lights, he was able to better showcase his skills in cheating during theMario Tennisintros. Waluigi was also the main villain during theDance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix, where I attempted to take over the world by hypnotizing everyone with my sexy dance moves. And I knocked out that fat turtleBowserinMario Party 3.Advertised Extra: Those business-guys at Nintendo recognize Waluigi as a \"Big\" character. But they still won't let poor Waluigi in any of the \"Big\" games! The closest I get iswhen they letthat loser Mariowear my clothes!Ambiguously Gay: Wait, WHAT???Ambiguously Human: Some of my descriptions say that I am a human, but my beauty looks really out of this world, so I can understand people's confusion.Anti-Role Model: There are plenty of ways to be awesome like Waluigi. They are not easy, I can tell.Anti-Villain: There is no one who is meaner than Waluigi, baby. But I can be a nice guy sometimes, even if not a very social one.Assist Character: InSuper Smash Bros., whenever I'm called, I will appear, and do the dirty work with my amazing and strong legs.I'm still waiting to be an actual fighter. One day Waluigi will have his time to shine!Beam Me Up, Scotty!: To be honest, Waluigi has yet to actually say \"Too Bad!\" before \"Waluigi Time\" on the games I appear. That phrase comes from myWaluigi in The Familycomics. I don't mind that though.* Beneath the MaskBeware the Silly Ones: I may act silly and all, but sometimes I like to remind people that there is a reason why Luigi never attempted to get his island backBig Bad:In Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix.* Big Ego, Hidden DepthsBlow You Away: Waluigi is used to creating tornados. Sometimes I have tospin myselfto do it.Breaking the Fourth Wall: Like thatSpider-jerk, Waluigi loves to talk to his fans, usually to complain with them about Waluigi losing.Brilliant, but Lazy: Of course, Waluigi could use some very impressive machinery and elaborate great plans. It's just that,cheating is so good, I prefer to win through it.Brought to You by the Letter \"S\": On Waluigi's hat and gloves, I have an upside down \"L\". It is also the uppercase of the Greek letter \"Gamma\". Not that Waluigi is Greek or something. Or radioactive likedumb green man.Butt-Monkey:NO.Card-Carrying Villain: Nobody cheats better than Waluigi.Catchphrase:EVERYONE WITH ME: WALUIGI TIME!WAA!Characterization Marches On: I started out as nothing more than Luigi's evil copy (not that there is anything wrong with that). Since then, I became a much more awesome character who everybody loves.The Chew Toy:NO.* CloudcuckoolanderConfusion Fu: You never know what Waluigi will do next. I love to surprise people!Dada Comics: My belovedWaluigi in The Familycomics.Dastardly Whiplash: Eh, what can I say. ThatDick Dastardlyis quite a cool guy.The Ditz: No way, buster. You probably heard this from that stupid Wario, but I assure you, Waluigi is a genius!The Determinator: Nothing is going to stop Waluigi from reaching his goal.* Elemental PowersEvil Counterpart: Not just evil, better too.Evil Is Petty: For Waluigi, any mean spirited action is a good action.The Friend Nobody Likes: That's okay. I hate all of them too anyway.Flight: Waluigi can swim in air. It's great for escaping payback for Waluigi's deeds.Gadgeteer Genius: Amongst Waluigi's many qualities, I am a master of technology. An excellent designer too.Gag Nose: Great for smelling cheaters a mile away.Gonk: Pfft. Waluigi's beauty is just too great for feeble minds to comprehend.* Good Hair, Evil HairGlowing Eyes of Doom:Sweet Dreams\u25ca.* Gravity MasterGreed: That's my bro's thing, but I also love myself some gold. I even try to steal from him.Green Thumb: Creating a wall of thorns is a great way to score a goal.Hair-Trigger Temper: What are you implying?Harmless Villain: Absolutely wrong. I simply choose to stay low so Waluigi can take care of his business without those meddling brothers getting in the way. YEAH!Hijacked by Ganon: I've received this and delivered it too.Hostile Show Takeover: Just click the link and you will see.* Hot-Blooded* I Just Want to Have Friends* In a Single BoundIneffectual Sympathetic Villain: What do you mean ineffectual?Insane Troll Logic: What do you mean insane???Jerkass: And proud of it. If everyone is going to hate Waluigi, well, too bad for them.Jerk with a Heart of Gold:This is why that stupid princess Daisy is in Smash Bros and not me. Wah, that was stupid. Maybe becauseI still appear anyway.Large Ham: IS THIS TROPE CALLING WALUIGI FAT???Laughably Evil: WALUIGI IS NOT LAUGHABLE!Lean and Mean: It's hard to be as pretty as Waluigi's sexy skinny body.Master of Illusion: Creating giant baseballs, emitting smoke to disable opponent sight and disguising my \"Whiskered Eggplant\" as a baseball, it's all part of cheating, baby.Meaningful Name: My name is Luigi's with the Japanese word for \"bad\" added, proving that I am a much badder dude thanhim. Less flatteringly, some people say Waluigi's name is an anagram of the Japanese word for \"Jerk\".Mind Screw: I am theGod of it. Bow down!Narcissist: If you were as amazing as me, you would be one too.No Social Skills: They are all losers anyway.* Not-So-Harmless VillainPurple Is Powerful: Waluigi wear purple so people know how awesome he is!* Remember the New Guy?* Sinister SchnozSmug Snake: I never heard of an awesome god who wasn't arrogant. Waluigi has the right to be proud of Waluigi!* Spin AttackStalker Without a Crush: IT'S NOT STALKING. I just hide under Luigi's bed when he sleeps, that's all.* Stone Wall* Sour Outside, Sad Inside* Super StrengthTake Over the World: And nobody is going to get in my way to do it.Teleport Spam: Bye Bye. Bye Bye. Bye Bye. Bye Bye. Bye Bye.The Trickster: Part of my busy schedule.Third-Person Person: Whenever Waluigi wants.Trademark Favorite Food: Waluigi loves eggplants. Especially my poison beauty \"Whiskered Eggplant\".Weak, but Skilled: Waluigi isn't weak. But I've got a lot of skill. Too bad everyone cheats.THIS IS IT. Waluigi hopes you have enjoyed Waluigi's page. Spread it to your friends. To the world. Everyone must see what a glorious character Waluigi is.Good bye. Until next time, do the Waluigi, everyone. WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"}
{"text": "He's not just a regular moron.He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived.\"\u2014GLaDOS, on me.Wait, wait, wait. How did this get here? Seriously,don't trust her.Ha! I KNEW someone would open my link! AH! Oh. My. God. You look terribl- ummm... good. Looking good, actually.So, uh... yes. This is... a page. My page. All mine. Nothing to do with...Her...So, yeah! This is my page. It's, um, very nice. A little bit sparse? But y'know, I'm working on it. Why don't you go ahead and read it? I mean, it's noMachiavelli- which I'veread, by the way, I canliterallyread - but it's interesting! Very interesting. You'll notice it's agreatdeal more readable thanHerpage, 'cause I'm not changing the capitalization or the little teensy writing style every third letter or so. Nope, not good ol' Wheatley! Consistency is my middle name. ...Though, actually, I don't have a last name, so I can't really have a middle name either, so... yeah.Anyway, you just sit back, read in comfort, and imagine that I'm talking to you in the kind of smooth, chipper Bristolian accent you might associate withvery tall, very blonde, very... um... bespectacled, British comedians.Or a very talented YouTuber.I'm a robot!Personality Construct, to be precise. Very fancy. I come from the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center, which, again, I'm a computer, I aid...uh, and I've had a lot of jobs! Biggest one was watching all the humans in cryo-sleep. I did that, uh, for a couple of hundred years, possibly thousands, didn't exactly set a timer or anything, which, in retrospect, might actually have been why all the humans died....except one!So we teamed up! You know! We had the brains! We had the beauty! And you know! She was also involved, helping me out! KickedHerright in Her massive metal behind! And, then...some other stuff happened, down the way, but that's basically it!Really. ...really.Also, on an unrelated note, anyone kind enough to conduct some kind ofspace rescue missionfor me or if someone happens to pass bynear the moon,here are my coordinates.Oh, also, if you see atiny plastic block figure that looks like me,ask him how hegot out of space.Wait, what? Why are those words invisible? Hold on, just wait a bit I can fix it... wait a bit... I can... ... Err... while we're waiting, why don't you feel free tohighlight that line?Trust me, there's no spoiler in that spoiler tag.Especially bigendgamespoilers about myself. Hey, there it is again! Wonder why that is?noteGLaDOS: THEY'respoilersYOUidiot.Hey! Who let her in here?!What's a trope? Is this a trope? ...Theseare tropes, aren't they. Ooh. My bad, my bad. Blame me. Blame the innocent little core. Just like humans.Affably Evil:\"Affable\" is a good thing, right?''A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Oh, way to keep it classy.The Alcoholic:I just - I justhadto test.All Girls Like Ponies: And boybands... right?And I Must Scream:Yeah, what with all that, floating around the moon, spacey-stuff... thing... Actually I could scream if I wanted to, but the only one who's gonna hear me is that space guy.sigh...As Long as It Sounds Foreign: Because a foreign accent is beyondherrange of hearingnoteGLaDOS: Look M'etal Ba''ll, I CAN hear you..The Atoner:Hopefully you don't have any hard feelings about the whole \"trying to bump you off\" thing. Which, to be fair, seems to be a pretty common occurrence around here.Berserk Button:I! AM NOT! A! MORON!!!!!...sorry. That's just a bit of a, you know, a sensitive subject. But I'm working on it.Big Bad Slippage:...I...I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time.Big, Stupid Doodoo-Head: Oh-ho! You thinkShe'sgot a monopoly on all the sassiness...ness? No! I've got some too! Fatty! Adopted...fatty! Fatty-fatty...no parents!Bishounen: You wouldn't think it to look at me, would you? But I can be, um, quite charming when I want to be. *seductive upper railing waggle* I'mespeciallydashing in the fanart.Booby Trap: I know how to get around themandhow to make them.Book Ends: GRAB ME! GRAB ME! GRAB ME!GRAB ME!Bond Villain Stupidity: Right. In my defense?I'd alreadytriedsmacking you down a bottomless pit, uh, and it didn't take!I suppose Icouldhave justused that Faith Plate to just launch you into another pit instead of taking you to that Part Where I Killed You, but you know, spike plates like to feel valued too! So I gavethema go. Didn't want 'em to, like, unionize on me.Boss Battle:Oooh, that sounds very impressive, doesn't it?Final Boss:Oooh, even better! More definitive and climactic sounding!Blatant Lies: They told me if I ever detached from the rail or turned on my flashlight I would die! Can you believe that? Honestly, I don't know why they gave me these things if they didn't want me to use them.Brainwashed and Crazy:Yeah, you try being stuck inHERbody, and see how well you hold up.Breakout Character: Here's an interesting story, you might like this!So, ''apparently'', I was gonna get killed off for ''real'' when we got stuck in Her chamber, back when they were doin' all the beta testing.BUT, all the little testers, the humans, they liked me so much that I got brought back and put in the whole thing! They liked me so much, yeah, they helped me take over the wholegame!...does that remind you of anything? 'Nah. Sure it's fine.Brief Accent Imitation: Funny story... I THOUGHT that speaking in a different accent would meanShewouldn't be able to hear me. Yeah, that didn't work out too well...British Accent: Yeah, I've got one. Makes me sound pretty distinguished, doesn't it? More specifically, it's a Bristolian accent, so, you know. Distinguished. Can you believe they were going to give me aNorthern accent? Glad that worked out otherwise.Buffy Speak:You versus me, Holmes versus Moriarty, Aristotle versus MASHY SPIKE PLATE!Butt-Monkey: \"An over-ambitious core who is eternally out of his depth.\" That's what the big page calls me. And you know what? I have worked here foryears,and I'm still, bloody,persona non gratitude!Not a \"thank you!\" Not a \"hiya, Wheatley, how are you\" or nothing, it's just, falling off rails! Smashing in walls! Yeah. Well. They'll all see someday.The Cameo: I may just happen to appearfloating around the skills screenin an officialGame ModforThe Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.I was also in thatlittle plastic game thing,where I worked with, oh, nobody special, justBatman. And...that bearded guy.And thelady with the jacket.There were...there were a lot of important people there. You know, not bragging or anything.There's also a small easter egg involving me in a game called...um...uh...DeterminedDanny?Is that right? Or at least, I think the people who made that game made the one I'm in.Card-Carrying Villain:I got the cards in one hand, and the strings in the other hand, and I'm making you dance like a puppet... playing... cards.Cute Machines:Of course.Continue Your Mission, Dammit!: I spy something that starts with the letter F. It's the floor, which is where you left me. Please pick me up. I spy something else that starts with the letter A. Also the floor. Pick me up.Remember when you picked me up five seconds ago? That was amazing, do it again.Cowardly Lion: Oi!You'rea lion! Whatever that is. Anyway, yeah, took on all sorts of things, me and the lady! Birds! Falling off my rail, when they said I was gonna die, if I did that, using my flashlight! Same thing! Going into Her chamber! And I got a bit scared, but I did it. Just saying.Drunk with Power: Aw,come on!Just becauseI took over the facility, a-and I gave Her a leave of absence, and then all my good ideas kind of, kind of got all explode-y and She had to come back and I got really sorry afterwards, that's...that'sDrunk with Power, isn't it.Yeah. I am genuinely sorry, by the way.Evil Is Petty:I wasn'tthatbad, was I?Face\u2013Heel Turn:Weeeeell...yes...Faceless Eye: Oooh, I have one of those! Well, technically my whole body is one. Guess I don't have much of a body outside of that, do I?Fan Girl: They won't leave me alone...Fantastic Arousal:I reaaaally like it when you complete the tests.Fantastic Racism: Don't get me started on smelly humans ... Oh, wait. That came out wrong.Feigning Intelligence: Not feigning! Butgeinfing! See what I did there? I justinventeda brand new word! Using nothing but the power of my mind. Boom.Ooh, will you look at that? I'm the page image! That's what I call recognition!...Wait a minute...Gratuitous Spanish:\u00bfD\u00f3nde estas, d\u00f3nde est\u00e1s, Yolanda?See what I did there? I just politely asked to take a little midday nap. ...Okay, I might not know what I'm saying in Spanish, but I can always look it up.Gravity Master: Not therealme, but I hear there's atiny plastic version of mesomewhere that has mastered anti-gravity.Heel\u2013Face Door-Slam:You might not have heard (and that's understandable; I was only unplugged a few seconds before getting thrown into space), but I actually was sorry about the things I did.Height Angst: A whole sector full of nanobots, and who's theonefellow they pick on? That's right, the oversized ID core. I'll have you know I amquitea normal size compared to the other Cores! Thanks for the hate crime, Jerry! I'll see you in court, mate.Idiot Ball: That's... that's brilliant, that is. Low. Hope you're proud of yourself.Image Song: \"Wheatley's Song.\" A bit of a collaboration between me andMiracle of Sound.Idid most of the work, though, you know, what with me being a genius and all.So don't call me a moron, you fostered balloon. My IQ's the infinite space from here to the moon.Hm... catchy.The Immodest Orgasm:Ohhhhh, yeah... Man alive, watching one of those test subjects solve a test- that I made, by the way... It feels REALLY good. Wears off after a while, though... Could be a bit of an issue...Innocent Blue Eyes: Well, innocent blueeyeanyway. Much more trustworthy thanHerYellow Eye of Sneakiness,if you ask me. Honestly, who would trust a person with a yellow eye? You'd have to be pretty desperate,dropped down into a deep mine shaftor something...you know...just as a hypothetical example.It's All About Me:Idid this. Tiny little Wheatley made this entire page. And single-handedly defeatedherwhile you sat around.Logic Bomb: What, that stupid \"This question is false\" thing? Pfft. Easy. It's \"true\", obviously.Motor Mouth:Well... technically, a motor mouth would have to be a mouth that is powered by a motor, and seeing that... wait... Oh, right, I'm all motors, aren't I? BUT... But Idon'thave a mouth. No mouth. Just an eye. A big blue eye... with eyelids... that move whenever I talk... like a mouth. You know what? I'm just gonna go on record saying that I'm NOT a motor mouth.. because... ugh.. yeah, I got nothing.But assuming I am, indeed, aMotor Mouth, it's one of those... faultier motors, know what I mean? Motor-CYCLE, perhaps. Lot of stops and starts in the old... pattern of speech. 'F that makes sense. Which it does.Books.Mr. Fanservice: It's the voice, isn't it? Yeah, the ladies love the voice. Not that the rest of me isn't, you know, attractive.Noodle Incident: You're never gonna believe it. Aftershecrushed me, I was sure I was done for. Then this bird comes in ...Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Hey! I know plenty of stuff!I am not a moron.Non-Human Sidekick: Sidekick? Hardly! Especially not to a human...er, not that there's anything wrong with that.Not That There's Anything Wrong with That: Really, some of my best friends are adopted. And human.Human and adopted.Percussive Maintenance: It's called \"hacking.\" An' I can't do it while you're watching. I really can't.Psycho Serum:I don't know why I did those horrible things. As soon as I was plugged in I went mad.Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: I! AM NOT! A! MORON! ...oh, sorry, I did it again.Robot Buddy: Yep! Robot and a buddy. Check and check.Smarter Than You Look: Tell you what thing Iamgood at.Surprises.EvenShehad to admit it.GLaDOS:Credit where it's due. For a little idiot specifically designed to come up with stupid, unworkable plans?That was a pretty well-laid trap.Talkative Loon: Well, you don't have to be so blunt about it...The Cake Is a Lie: I- I don't even know what this means. Why is it here?Too Dumb to Fool: More like too SMART to...fool! Yes! In fact you know what I'm actuallyparadox-proof, actually.Unexplained Recovery: Oh, you mean aftershecrushed me like a grape? Well, it's really very sim\u2014Ahhh! Life flashing in front of optic again!Sorry, that... that keeps happening every time I try to discuss it. Let's just move on, shall we?Also, I gotta say, I really love thosenew, blue portally things.No idea where they come from, though.Yank the Dog's Chain:It wasn't very kind of Valve to tell me I'm getting a award launched at me! Only to get actually hit in the face with said award. Not kind at all! ...I thought I was going home.Wheatley:Where do you think you are going? Come back!Announcer:Stalemate Resolution Associate: Please press theBackbutton or any of the provided links in this page.GLaDOS:Go press the button! Go press it!Wheatley:Don't press it! We're not quite done yet. Look, look, I can make things up. Umm,...GLaDOS:We're so close! Go press the button!Wheatley:Do not. Press. That. Button.GLaDOS:Do press it!Wheatley:Don't press the button!Stalemate Resolution Button"}
{"text": "The page image cannot live up to Xulgon's true size!Nightmare Xulgon!To enhance your reading experience, listen tothisand imagine a gruff yet booming voice.Yes! It is I, impending Lord of All,the Diamond-Pupiled Juggernaut,Xulgon!You believe you can take me apart?What a laugh! Then show Xulgon your worth...or your lack thereof!!!I will not give you false tropes! Surrender!Anti-Climax Boss: Stop straying from my minions while I'm away! Why are there nobombsfor you to defuse here?!Awesome Ego: Xulgon, the Beautifully Self-Aggrandizing!Balance Buff: Can't get those sequence-breakingBlink itemsso easilynow!Bigger Is Better: The bigger you are, the more unlikely defeat is!Boss in Mook Clothing: The red-eyed minion is a lesser Xulgon, with threeprotective gunsand distance-dependent patterns!Dummied Out: Tothe galaxy's inner workings, Iamthe \"invasion\"!Evil Overlord: Xulgon, your conquering foe!Evil Sounds Deep: A deep, gargling soundbite is what you hear of me!Expecting Someone Taller: And I figuredthat blue ship'd be bigger!Eyes Do Not Belong There: The middle gun sees and speaks \u2014 for those too puny to approach my \"head\" core!Final Boss: In the advanced Invasion campaign, none have the worth to succeed Xulgon!Flunky Boss: Minions! Serve Xulgon throughout the invasion!God-Emperor: Xulgon, the Godly King of Worlds!Large and in Charge: Only the biggest (i.e. Xulgon) shall rule!Law of Alien Names:Xkicks off the name; Xulgon's the space mollusk warrior of great!The Magnificent: Xulgon the Unstoppable! Xulgon the Ginormous!Xulgon,the Extremely Large!My Master, Right or Wrong: The red-eyed one isn't as enthusiastic a subject as Xulgon wishes... but it's stillthe most steadfast one there is!Odd Name Out: \"Guardian\"? \"Medusa\"? \"Hermit\"? \"Goliath\"? Xulgon's moniker is greater thanyour common, comprehensible words!Red Is Violent: Xulgon, the Neon-Red Demise-Bringer!Third-Person Person: Xulgon derives euphoria from mentioning His own name! More so than you humbly ceaseless self-\"I\"-dentifiers!Villain Teleportation: Within Xulgon's mass's sudden absence \u2014 room for minions to fight for me!\"X\" Makes Anything Cool: Xulgon, Holy Bearer of the RadicalX!NightmareXulgon relishes your salty tears!Anti-Frustration Features: Those Blinks eventually float through... because you can't outmaneuver my newest orb wave!Demonic Spiders: Beware my smallest minions' spread shots!Glowing Gem: Eight bright core crystals exemplify Xulgon's glory!Gold Makes Everything Shiny: Xulgon, the Gold-and-Blue Luminescence!Palette Swap: Only Xulgon is worthy of the brand-new coloring (not my minions)!"}
{"text": "Well, hello there, Troper.(This page is best read using the voices of eitherY\u016bichi Nakamura, Erik Davies orDoug Erholtz. Pick your poison.)(As you enter the page, a man in a suit and fedora walks in withthisplaying)Oh, whoa! Why, hello there Tropers! So apparently there's this trend of this site having pages of a character described by themselves. I mean, seriously? Some overconfident roleplayers? And they don't even have any pages forBlazBluecharacters? Oh dear, that is quite troublesome, isn't it? Not to worry, because I'm the first guy to do so. Though I'm not really that good in trope-describing so I hope my description can be of much use.Wait, am I forgetting something? Aah, right, where are my manners...My name is Hazama...or Hazama Honoka for the full name. Uh, wait, is the page titled 'Yuuki Terumi'? Ah, fret not, that's just one of my aliases, really. I'm just your average mild-mannered head of the Information Division of Novus Orbis Librarium, or NOL. I like swallowing eggs. And, uh... what else... I guess I'm pretty distinctive that I have myEyes Always Shut. Charming, isn't it? Like that...Soul Reaper dude?Well it may give the vibes of being untrustworthy, but really, I'm just as trustworthy as you can get! I also happen to be blessed with really smooth voices. Also, I guessmy fedorais pretty distinctive, I've been gettin' a lot of comments that say I'm a pimptastic fella. Oh heavens, I'm so not worthy for this.I don't like lies and... ahem... shitty vampires... Uh, wait, hold a sec, time out, Troper. I think I need a bathroom break. I'll be right back! Toodles!(Later)Gaze upon my brilliance, shitty tropers!Click to see my original form as Susano'o.I shall end your miserable existence, Troper.(Suddenly, a man in a yellow hoodie marches in withthisplaying in the background)So, waited your sorry ass too long, eh, Shitty Troper? What, expecting that 'mild mannered officer named Hazama'? HAAAHAHAHAHA!! As expected from shitty tropers like you, you just ate that bait! Behold, the greatest thing to ever embrace this existence, me, this grand self of mine,Yuuki Terumi! In other words, Hazama is just one of MY aliases, or literally a simple doll that acts as my front! Got that through your shit-for-brains yet?Believe it or not, I was actually counted as the legendary Six Heroes, but that was because theybrainwashedme to destroy my destructive creation, the Black Beast. But thankfully, I managed to turn that one around... by backstabbing one gullible idiot glassed girl and her fiery sorceress pal then tossing them to the Boundary, and requiring that armored freak Hakumen to seal me into the Boundary together with him! Well, that's a way to go, but I managed to come back anyway, so sucks to be you Hakumen!What was that, origin? Why was I this evil? Do you shitty tropers seriously believe that is necessary!? I don't need a fucking backstory to make myself great! I'm evil, I like it, done! Okay, fine, I also get more powerful with hate and will exist as long as people hate me, but seriously, who cares about why I'm like that?For the Evulzis enough motivation for me! Well... I'm in a good mood today, so I'll tell you this much. I used to own the Susano'o unit before Major Dumbass got his grubby little hands on it. Back then I was known as the Black Susano'o (or the Dark Susano'o if you prefer). It was all well and good but... things didn't really work out between me and the master unit, the damned suit was bound to it. So I decided to give it to Relius and his pal once I was done with it, but the damn vampire and her father snatched it from me before I could give it to him. Well I was going to get rid of it anyway so no big loss for me.Oh and you're still asking what was I like before shit went the drain between me and the master unit? Well how about I've been evil from the beginning!? Do I even need reasons or aStart of Darkness? Well, nope, that's for pussies! And obviously, I am not.I first appeared as an NPC in the first game,BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger, with that persona above. And what do you know? Stupid heroine Noel Vermillion never batted an eye and think of me as a completely trustworthy dude! It's only after the end of that game I reveal myself, not only as my magnificent self, but also the guy who cut down Ragna's arm and possessed Jin for good measure! And in case you don't know, I am the one behindeverythingbad that happened throughout the series, and still on the roll! Great accomplishment, huh? And I already got my fans based on that and my radiatingly good look. Not unlike you shitty beings.And the next game, I finally cement myself astheMagnificent Bastardof the series. See, throughout the game, I kept manipulating things, such as eventually putting through that Tsubaki Yayoi girl into emotional torment to the point of going against Noel due to jealousy of that Jin, and even played through the emotions of that big sack of tits Litchi Faye-Ling to abandoning her good alignment to join me. And you know who gets the blame! Them of course, for not realizing how much I amObviously Eviland should not be trusted! You do agree with me with this one, right, shitty tropers? They're the ones crossing the line to become unsympathetic idiots, I was just offering information!But seriously, those are small timers, when compared to the fact that I suckered a nigh-omnipotent supercomputer, Takamagahara, that views all timelines to get the outcome I want! Because magic is awesome, provided by this pal of mine, Phantom, who is actually a corrupted version of that Nine, who used to enslave me, but now she's my bitch! Oh wait, there's also Colonel Relius Clover, but he's kind of a nagging guy so I'm not THAT fond of him either.But all of this wouldn't be possible if I am not this much of a totalbadasswho can own everyone like breakfasts, just my daily activities like how I crossed theMoral Event Horizonabout fifty times at that time of the day! I mean, really, I'm the creator of thatArtifact of Doomyou call Azure Grimoire! The real one, not the fake one Ragna wields, See that? I accomplish all those, thus cementing you guys to be total suckers who are like worms before me!And even in my defeat, I still get what I wanted! That Ragna, defeating me? There's still someone who can kill me to infiltrate Takamagahara, that Colonel Clover! And regardless of that, I also shot that stupid 'friendship' message to hell with Tsubaki's corruption, and also that 'compassionate' message by getting Litchi to join me! You know what this means...'Good' Is Shitty And Just Tools To Manipulate! And I even showed Ragna that I'm not even the final boss for him, it's actually his sister Saya, the Imperator of NOL, manipulated by none other than ME! GYAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!Wait, what do you mean \"extra rounds\"? Well, fine... but you owe me for this, shitface. There's that one time when my plan went FUBAR because some goddamn squirrel just landed in the middle of my plans. That rodent is... well, my supposed 'subordinate' in the Intelligence Department, Makoto Nanaya. Seriously, that bitch just popped unexpected and her insistence just RUINED my plan, and then that shitty vampire just pulled her under my rugs! Sheseriouslylives to cockblock my plans... And that plan is goddamn ruined! *deep breath* Oh well, I can try again. Flukes don't happen twice, and by my glorious self, it's RIGHT! You see, goddamn squirrel? Yes, I'd enjoy killing ya, but overall, you're just an insignificant worm!And thenBlazBlue: Chronophantasmarolls around... grrr... Oh, what was that, you shitheads are delighted seeing me grumbling? Well just you wait...In that game, things really got kind of... unpredictable, seeing that they brought in a seithr-surpressing being called Celica A. Mercury, to shut me down. But let's be honest, since when did that stop me? Still by the end of it, Hakumen caught up to me and seemingly killed me off using this mumbo-jumbo called 'Time Killer' and apparently, that Saya plans to ditch mebecause she's the Goddess of Death Izanaminoteas in old, rotting, putrid, burned-in-the-lady-parts Izanagi. The reason she chose Saya as her vessel? Young, supple, pure, and a vag that doesn't look like a clam that was cooked with white phosphorus, C4, and napalm.. Welp, enjoy your happiness now, shitty tropers! You actually won! ... Except did you know thatI also killed Platinum the Trinity right before dying?Greatest candidate ofBlazBluescrappiesanyway, so who gives a shit yet she comes back forCentral Fictionlike a damn cockroachand killing her was a very, very bad idea.Now I know how the duck, the coyote and the Martian felt.Oh and your victory is just as hollow as it was when Ragna seemingly defeated me, Izanami's plans haven't been slowed in the slighest. Oh and that is not the last game of the series, and I already built up a strong fanbase, soArc System Worksisn't going to kill me off like that lest they incur the wrath of the fans. That means...I'll be back next game...!!So much for killing me, eh, Hakky? I also heard a lot of people complain that you just got reduced into a walkingDeus ex Machinajust to 'get rid of me'. Feels like it's worth it? HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Hey old bag, enjoy thatBig Badseat's warmness, because I'm coming back to reclaim it! Goddess or not, nobody pulls a fast one on Yuuki Terumi and lives! And I also can't wait to take on those new chumps.And wouldn't you know it Arc System Works decides to make the walking hairball factorynoteJubei, a.k.a. Kokonoe's dad and Nine's mate. The sex was probably agonizing.a playable character right after main story ended.Still, even if that fails, I'm popular enough that I'm pretty much guaranteed to land in anycrossoverwith this series andThe Adventures of Proto-Ragna, and you better believe I've made my list and checked it twice. Speaking of proto-Raggy, I'm very sure that I'll sucker him all the way to Pluto just like Raggy over here! Though Witch-Tits informed me that Proto-Ragna is smarter than he looks and it'd be easier to dupe his sidekick Burger Boy who's the son of King Proto-Jin and his EIGHT-YEAR-OLD WIFE?!I don't care if she does age faster than humans,that's thirty-oneflavors of WRONG!And they callmeevil... Wait, that eight-year-old wife is basically Proto-Noel? Oh, I am SO going to enjoybreaking her!Waitaminute *sniff sniff* I smell guano. They have a shitty vampire who's older, stronger, faster, smarter, and better?!noteOh fuck me, now there's two of 'em?You have got to be shitting me! Just to be safe, is there a proto-rodent? Hm... well, there's this little girl with massive strength, carrying an anchor, serving something of proto-pussy Colonel (that's Kagura Mutsuki, by the way), I shouldn't worry about her. The rest... eh, they're all pussies, I shouldn't worry about them. Sothere's a new game coming outand it involves other fighting game series? I can't wait to crush...what the fuck are they doing here?Do you idiots at Arc System Works have the slightest inkling of what you wrought by bringing those...godkillers?!I am so glad that I'm already dead, AND Hazama and the Hag are taking the bait first! Fuck me, my Susanoo self has been chosen for Cross Tag?! Well let me assure you godkillers that I will be no easy win!Everything I do, it's allfor shits and giggles to kill boredom, becausemisery is interesting, as well as forcing this upon your mucus-filled heads:This world is nothing but LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES!!!The only truth there is DESPAIR!!Yeah, I'm the only one who thinks like that, but becauseI'm just that awesome,that better be the accepted norm.And indeed, my awesomeness has creeped into this site, I am alsothis site's God of Assaulting the Helpless! What was that,Bernkastelusurped my throne? That was just a minor setback, my power ofmainstream popularitywill brought me back to my righteous place! Or maybe it's because one of the participants kinda enjoy making me hisButt-Monkey... Ooh no, that won't do. You do realize that if I come right there, I could whip your ass easier than stealing a candy from a baby, which I would do with gusto?Bottom line, I am Terumi, I am the Black Susano'o, and you are all suckers before me. So before I off you like the shits you are, then you better check out the tropes sections!These tropes define this radiant self of mine!0% Approval Rating: I am the true ruler of the NOL, and I actually feast off of universal dislike! The lower the approval rating, the better!Always Someone Better: Hades Izana-OH LIKE HELL THAT OLD, DUSTY, TOOTHLESS HAG IS!And they're hyping that bag of bones as theTrue Final Bossin the trailer forCentral Fictionwhile they treat me as a footnote. A footnote! Wait 'til I get my powers back...And I got them back.Animal Motifs: Snakes! They are totally slick and awesome, just like me.Thank you snakes. You've done well, but I now I prefer an animal witha little more bite.Anti-Climax Boss:Hey it's not my faultCentral Fictionnerfed the difficulty in story mode!TheUnlimited versionsof characters are gone aside from the arcade bosses, and they aren't fought outside arcade mode. So the final fights for the entireBlazBluefranchise are against plain old regular versions of me! MySusano-o selfdoesn't even get an Unlimited Form, seriously what the actualfuck is up with that!?Arch-Enemy: I've got so many I don't evenknowwhere to start. ...You thought I meant that, right? Well, there's Hakky, the shitty vampire, Old Yeller, the damned cat, his bastard daughter, his bastard clone, Raggy, First Lieutenant Defect, First Lieutenant Garbage, Major Pain in the Ass, the Red Devil, the little brat, the hippie squirrel...EVERYONE WHO HATES ME REALLY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Though for me personally it's that shitty vampire she is even listed as my dislike and Ragna seems to be a close second given I like to victimize him.Artificial Human/Soul Jar: The Hazama body you see is host for my real self.Asshole Victim: HEY! Who are you calling a victim?Okay fine, Izanami decided towards the end ofChronophantasmashe didn't need me or Relius and left us to our fates. Yeah, somebody pulled anEviler than Thouon ME! We'll see if I reclaim my evil throne next game. Hey, anything can happen. You hear that Izanami, you moldy old dingbat?! I WILL return!Badass Creed: Hazama of course has that boring NOL creed that even he barely bothers to recite. As for my true self...\"I am strength. I am valor. I am whole! With divine blade in hand shall I sever the threads of evil from this world! I am THE Susano'o of Mikoto! THE END HAS COME!!!\" Sounds a lot cooler than Hakky's version.Badass Longcoat: My true persona trades in my hat and fedora for one.The Bad Guy Wins: The one trope that eludes me even when I have the upper hand! Whenever I come close to victory, that shitty vampire or that damn squirrel throw a wrench in my plans! Then there's that Hag who stole my well-deserved win and claim it as her own! It's pretty sad whena dimestore Skeletoris one of the few fighting game villains that canonically won only because there wasn't aDeus ex Machinato interfere due to the gods of his game either being spineless pussies or too busy scratching their asses. The reason he didn't seal the deal is because Capatain Sparky pulled a Doc Brown.Bait-and-Switch Boss: Big time. After all spending years me, and Relius, being set as the ultimate villains in the series with everything going our way inCalamity TriggerandContinium Shift,Chronophantasmaturned us into pawns for the real. Hag. Must. PAY!But hey, I was finally able to take back the role ofFinal BossinCentral Fictionby taking my Susano'o unit back! Take that, hag!Bastard Understudy:Well now, looks like while Hazama was off on his own merry adventure inCentral Fictionever since we got split-up, looks like the hinting seen below is true; HE ACTUALLY doesn't want to be my vessel anymore! THAT LITTLE FUCKING SHIT! And yet I can't even fuse with him due to Trinity's damn magic.....not to mention, HIM?! Having HIS OWN GOALS of destroying Amaterasu?! You better let me in on this shit or else, HAZAMA. OR ELSE.Turns out, he still would do what I'd tell him to do.....but I've already came up with some backup plans just in case I can't trust that bastard. Not to mention he got into thatCross Tag Battlegame without me, so screw him for one-uping me! When DID HE become his own character?!What\u2019s that?The end of Chronophantasma?GOD DAMN YOU, WRITERS, ALL TO HELL!!!!Beating A Dead Player: Just to drive the point home that no one's got a candle to the awesomeness that is yours truly, I love to do this to the sad sacks who had to face me. And if I'm really feeling it, I'll punt them off of the screen for good measure, because this is MY show! This is actually my damn winning animation for hell's sake as my Terumi-self....hahahaha!Oh, and as for that dipshit Ragna, he gets the pleasure of having his brainsstomped out ten times and me wounding his sorry-ass ego some more. Funny enough, all of my stomps for everyone, even Ragna included, count as part of a combo and thus are points added to the score counter. Have fun using me in score attack mode now! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!My true self simply rips out your pathetic soul and crushes it like a grape.Become a Real Boy:Oh boy....looks like this is what Hazama seems to have going for him inCentral Fiction, eh? I take it that wound he received from Trinity made that fool feel pain for the first time....and now, he's wanting to crave even more of that sensation of being alive....this guy's even starting to freakmeout.Berserk Button: Did you just say I'm not awesome or not interesting!? You take that back,worthless worm... eh, I kid. Taking back those words won't even help. Prepare tofuckingdie.I like to think of myself as anartistewhen it comes to torture and misery. Stealing my sample is the best way to effectively replace them yourself. Ain't that right, you damn vampire?!I put extra hours and hard work - and we're talking the hundred year kind - into my schemes! And mark my words: one of these days, I'm going to carve every second of a given century out of that damned squirrel's hide!For the real me, it's that Shitty Vampire that's listed as my dislike!But for my Susano'o self the hate for Amaterasu is amped up to eleven.Beware the Silly Ones: Yeah I can be a goof especially in my Hazama get-up, but don't take me for joke. It's all just a mask to hide my awesome evil self, and it works to drop those morons off guard!Though judging from how different he is when we're not in the same body, I guess that part of Hazama is working TOO WELL for my own tastes....dammit.Body Horror:Huh? You say you have something to show me as ofCentral Fiction, Hazama? Wait...is that a-OH MY FUCKING GOD! DAMMIT, IT MUST BE FROM TRINITY....KEEP THAT FUCKING HOLE IN YOUR CHEST AWAY FROM ME! WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I SHOWED MY LOST EYE TO YOU OR SOMETHING?! DAMN CREEP, VESSELS LIKE YOU SHOULD LEARN TO NOT SHOW OFF THEIR HOLLOW-BODY-BULLSHIT!!!Boring Insult:Haven't you got eyes for your head!?You read that entry inBerserk Buttonup there!? It was the first on the list! Just to make it clear, you shall refer me as the most awesome being of the world, if not, your rolling head will be the thing you prefer over what I'd do to you!I'm also offended when The Hag said I was beneath her. If it wasn't formeyou'd still be eating what passes for tapioca in Hell!Breakout Villain: Mori said that when Hazama was created, he wanted him to be an un-likeable antagonist with no redeeming qualities or whatsoever, but when the popularity poll results came in, they made that goddamn Hazama the 3rd popular character in this fuckass series, beating lil' Raggy and even me, but he was still outvoted by that First Lieutenant Defect and the First Lieutenant Gerbage. But even I can't tell where Hazama's own status is going as ofCentral Fiction....And that damn bastard even ended up inBlazBlue: Cross Tag Battleinstead of ME! How dare you....the only thing good about that for me is that he'll be getting shat on by others first!Break the Haughty: \"Chronophantasma\" decided to not let things go my way.DAMN IT, MORI, GIMME BACK MY OMNIPOTENCE!That one time the squirrel ruined my plan inContinuum Shift Extendwas also one thing I broke down, howdareshe ruin my plan... But thank me I could recover from that and make the loss insignificant.Broke Your Arm Punching Out Cthulhu: I destroyed Takamagahara, aDeus Est Machinathat views all timelines by making my the timeline where I win the only possible outcome. Awesome I know. But,I forgot that without I'm not invincible. While I was plotting against Takamagahara, I could switch to another timeline if stuff didn't go my way. I was fucking invincible, even one of those shits could take it didn't matter. But without the time loop, I couldn't make everything go my way. DAMMIT! Whoever wrote that I'll fucking kill him!The Bully: Quite the understatement, I must say.The Caligula: I am the true ruler of the NOL and this whole place shall be my playground for me to do whatever I want!Card-Carrying Villain: Reasons and especially sympathetic reasons are forpussieswhen it comes to villainy! I'll happily admit that I'm evil just because, and those kind of villains with sympathetic backstories or something of beingWell-Intentioned Extremistare justSo Last Season!Chain Pain: My LOVELY Ouroboros! Or to get technical, the Geminus AnguiumnoteTwin Snakes in Latin/JasounoteSnake Pair in Japanese: Ouroboros via its full name. My Hazama-self makes use of that a lot more frequently, though my real self uses it a bit more sparingly. A note to point out is that despite how awesome that shit of mine is, I can't shoot them out too far, otherwise, they don't do as much damage or hitstun. Players would quote that shooting-distance as my chains' \"dead zones\". Bummer.Taken to full extent with my Hazama-self's Jakou (Snake Bite) movenotedon't confuse it with the bullshit English dub \"Snakebite\" my real self has, that move is Jagaku and it means SnakeJAWPEOPLE!, and few of my real self's Distortion Drives. Expect even more use of this from ourUnlimited versions.The Chessmaster: I predict everyone else's movement, I'm just that great! I also founded the N.O.L and Sector Seven and played those chumps against each other for quite a while.No really, I did.Clock King: I used Phantom's knowledge of the time loops and outmaneuvered every last one of those shit-faced losers. After the time loops were destroyed, things went to utter shit for me.Immunity, don't fail me now!Co-Dragons: With Relius, we're this toIzanami, the thing possessing Saya. Though since she doesn't do anything herself to the third game, so we're aBig Bad Duumviratewith her as theGreater-Scope Villain.I'm very certain that the ditching will not last long and I will reclaim my throne of theGreater-Scope Villain, like it was thought before, and rightfully so...!Confusion Fu: Oh I just LOVE messing with you even in battle! Mix-ups? Situational-yet-rewarding mobility for even cross-ups? Tick-throw setups? Tadah~! There's no way I can't dictate your move when I get in your face, and it's so fun to land those nasty hit confirms nowadays!However, I need more effort with my real self, since that mix-up bullshit applies to Hazama. But for yours truly, who needs true mix-up when I can just beat the shit out of you from landing a hit confirm anyways?! But to agree with some of the forums out there, my true self lacking the mixup needed to get in sorta does ruin the playstyle archetype I follow anyway, not gonna lie.Crazy Is Cool: Oh hell yeah! I'm a total badass and I'm hilarious, how can I not be this.Crazy-Prepared: Well of course I am. I know about every possible iteration of the time loop and continuum shift (except that trick Shishigami did to run away mid fight), so no matter what happens, I can plan for it. But once that was gone, I...Curb-Stomp Battle: Almost all of my fights. When I said I wasn't good at fighting, I ain't kidding... it's just that this happens because you're all even suckier in fighting thanme.I once was on the receiving end against Hakumen in \"Wheel of Fortune\". Got my ass kicked even with Relius backing me up. There's a reason I'm not always confident about fighting that guy.Determinator: I am a lot of horrible things, but one thing I'm not is a quitter. Don't let me losing my temper when things don't go my way fool you, that's a reason for me to get mad, not to give up.Diabolical Mastermind/Evil Genius: Managed to outsmart a dumbass shitty omnipotent supercomputer with three minds,created the titular BlazBlue/Azure Grimore, manipulated almost the entire cast of dumbass, even unleashed my failed experiment upon the crackpot world.Sadly The Hag is far smarter (damn omniscience. Senility is nonexistent in Elder Gods.) than me. Well was smarter than me.Didn't See That Coming: How the flying eff was I supposed to know the cat's stupid clone would dothatby playing with First Lieutenant Defect?Difficult, but Awesome: Whether as Hazama or the real me, you'll have your work cut out for you when playing as me. My Hazama self's tricky to get under wraps; you sorta have to deal with my short range\u2014no mid-range game here, unfortunately\u2014and my situational mobility, and the Ouroboros takes getting used to. The real me, on the other hand, only has the basics with a Drive that pumps up the Heat gauge like crazy. And I'm all kinds of awesome when you get the hang of me. I mean, goddamn, I can pressure like there's no tomorrow, and my combos'll tear 'em open a new asshole. And trust me, it feels GREAT to mess around with you like so. (But try to get past most of my brick wall of a learning curve first, kay?)Disc-One Final Boss: InContinuum Shift. I'm behind all the events of the game, but it's Mu-12 who is theTrue Final Boss, not me.I'm, sorta thisCentral Fiction. My Susano'o self is built as theFinal Boss, but after I'm dragged out of that body, Ranga and I fight for one last time.Dropped a Bridge on Him: What happened to me inChronophantasmaREALLY sucked. After the fight with me in story mode, I get the shittiest death ever. Just poof and I'm gone. No animated cutscene, no special art, nada. Yeah, I'm pissed off as it is. Even people who wanted me dead felt that I should at least have a gotten better outing than that... Huh? You asked about how some people say it's totally deserving of me? Well, yes I kinda heard that too... It's just that it was the last thing they said after being torn apart by yours truly.Everyone Has Standards: Hell, despite me being an awful piece of shit, there are lines even I won't cross.....DAMN KOKONOE EVEN USING A CHRONOPHANTASMA OF CELICA THE NULLIFY MY AZURE GRIMORE/BLAZBLUE.....which is MY WHOLE HAZAMA-SELF'S BODY....WHO GOES THAT FAR ANYWAY, DAMMIT?!If Phantom didn't teleport me out in time, I would've been shit for breakfast, and damn Relius even bothered to have his way with me on that occasion (he actually let me go in head first into that situation and even laughingly-mocked me for it...little shitfucker...)Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: I mean, seriously? Like I stated, if you see my examples above, you'll know that 'Good' isn't in my vocabulary! It's just another piece of shit for me to mess with.Evil Is Hammy:BlazBlueis aWorld of Hambut I assure you I am easily the biggest.Evil Is Not a Toy: And I was happy to teach Nine of that!Though I should have paid more attention, because Relius and I tried to manipulate Izanami, it backfired in the worst possible way... Uuurgh, shouldn't have relinquished the control to Izanami...Evil Laugh,Laughing Mad: MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! What kind of evil being I am if I don't have one?Well, my original-self doesn't spend time doing so, that's for sure.Evil Is Petty: Well what's the point of being evil if you aren't going to be petty? But sometimes, you HAVE to understand what suchSerious Businessis.Evil Plan: WHAT PLAN?! Everything I do is just to make people suffer and break the Amaterasu unit's toys!Although after reuniting with my Susano'o unit I figured I might as well use the Embryo to recreate the world so that EVERYONE will perpetually suffer under my iron-fisted rule!Expy: Some say I am a Japanese/fighting game version ofThe Joker, or even is very similar toKefka Palazzo. HAH! I am more like the WAY better version of those shitty thugs!noteThe former still had the last laugh when I inherited his \"rodent problem\" of the flying and tree-dwelling varieties. But then again, it was insignificant for me!noteJoker: Oooh, how cute. My bat can beat me senseless any day of the week, and I've kept up with him fordecades. If I had your power, Gotham'd be all smiles about now \u2014I should know!\u2014 and yet you just squander what you've got on weaklings. Remind me: who screamed like a little girl when an actual girl had your vessel pinned down? And you evenbrokethe one time your plan got ruined by your rodent? Ha! And I daresay you can't claim to have recovered when she continues to find inventive ways to screw you over behind your back! If only that redhead was there to take Time Killer for you, eh? And then your boss fired you and left you to your piss poor fate as of now, after all the time you deluded yourself into thinking you're in control.Y'know, I must admit... it's sadly anti-climatic. Behind all the trolling bravado, planning, godlike power and impersonation of yours truly... you're a sniveling bully of a brat out to break all of dear sister's toys out of spite. It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic... oh what the heck, I'll laugh anyway.GYAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!Less obvious is some influence from thatinsufferable egomaniacGilgamesh. Sure I'm arrogant, but compared that jerk I'm the pinnacle of humility! Anyways, there's also the spiky hair, being a famed hero whose legend don't mention how we're a couple of jerks.Though I do say some people looks like they were inspired by me in terms of trolling. Such asHandsome Jack,MonokumaandNui Harime(who's pretty much pure shit to think that loveand hateare the same damn thing). See? They were inspired by ME!Also apparently my old predecessor is thisI-Nochicknote(a.k.aWitch-Tits who's dumb as fuck with her chaos.). Well how does getting reprimanded by That Man all the time work for ya, huh!? Imanipulateall those around me,even my boss!noteThough the old hag Izanami was wising up. Really wishing I didn't give that walking Alzheimer's Express complete control....There's also anExpyof me in the same universe but from a long time ago. The person was known as \"snake\" and his name is...Sou'ichirou Unomaru? Hmm... interesting. Also Ripper to along with hisrevived self, Brain Cat/Freaks.I suppose you could also compare me to thatIris Sepperinchick, especially in terms of receiving influence from someone appearing in a game universe released before my own. Committing atrocities and manipulating othersfor fun? Check. Receiving a shitty \"I'll never forgive you!\" from our verses' respective protagonists? Check. Trolling certain characters and having a blast about it? Check. Cementing ourselves asMagnificent Bastards? Check. You could say I have some similarities to her! Oh, and bonus points for both of us beingAx-Crazy! Of course, I'm still way better than that shitty little kid is, and I'm goddamn proud of it!Of course, any troper out there that readUsagi Yojimbomay have heard of this cat chick named Noriko. And some think I am exactly like her too. Let\u2019s look at the reasons why. Let\u2019s see. She has a sister whose guts she wants to rip out. Yep. Same is true of me. Okay, what\u2019s next? She forced a bunch of slaves to dig for gold for her. Well, I get others to do my dirty work for me, so I guess that counts. Hell, I founded two organizations and manipulated both of them for the sake of my own needs! If any one of said slaves gets too exhausted, she\u2019ll kill that slave right then and there. Well, whenever my minions outlive their usefulness, I kill them too, so, another one for me. And I guess you could say that in much the way she was mining for gold, I was mining for the Azure. She enjoys brutally torturing and humiliating her opponents after defeating them and subjects them to the good old Kick Them When They Are Down tactic. Oh, ho ho!!! That\u2019s definitely me! I do that ALL THE DAMN TIME!! She tormented her aforementioned sister, Tomoe Ame, both physically and mentally, kicking her to the ground and trolling her severely. How the hell could that not be me!? I do that with every shit-faced loser I come across. Also, what would Noriko think of the time I trolled Noel into transforming into Mu-12? Anything else? Oh, yeah. She poisoned the guy that raised her simply for being weak. I too am more than happy to kill weaklings. She also killed her biological dad for callously rejecting her and not acknowledging her as his daughter. Well, I too want everyone else to cater to me, so, another one for the list. She gets angry and violent when things don\u2019t go her way. Yep, definitely me. She threatened to cut off Miyamoto Usagi\u2019s hand. That\u2019s what I did with Ragna the Bloodedge! Oh, and to conceal the mines, Noriko plans to blow it up, with every slave inside after all its resources are gone. Well, I harvested the souls of a bunch of NOL drones to power up a Cauldron. Yep, Noriko has totally done what I would do. So, overall, I would love to meet this Noriko fellow. She might even me a great girlfriend for me! Raowr! I guess being unable to fuse with Hazama again may have its benefits after all.And last but not least, the fact I have my eyes often shut as my Hazama-self AND the familiar hairstyle? Oh yes, people and fangirls alike will scream\"GIN ICHIMARU\"right in my face.....then again, to give the guy credit he's also a bit of sly little snake-like bastard before me....but I'll take away his shitty points for being good all along just for the sake of revenge for someone he had a thing for, and to try to counter a broken-as-hell zanpakutou.But in his defense, I do give him props for the fact we both share similar motivations in life to achieve or crazy-ass goals...AND a favorite food, which are dried persimmons in his case....but boiled eggs are still better by the way.AND comes the fact in his 2D fighting game debut in on the Nintendo DS, he was just as crazy broken as I was on top tier! HA! Then the good ol' shit-ass nerf stick came along and smacked us down a peg in the next revisions! Aren't we such shitty stinkers?!Recently, maybe I could be just like that guy named...hmm....Ferid Bathory...?Wait....you mean he's possibly related to THAT Elizabeth Bathory?! And it seems he's eithermad with loveor outright insane from his boredom (even I can tell that Krul-bitch and others of his kind hate him)....that guy's pretty dangerous even to me if he can just push anyone's buttons with a smile on his face and with a huge amount of time on his hands with even less effort compared to me.... Just as disgusting as that Nui Harime, and he's aVAMPIRE TO BOOT!Keep him away from me, dammit! Plus, my way of fucking with people is more worthwhile than his!Eyes Always Shut: As Hazama. Adds quite the...charm, let's call it. Again, cue theGin Ichimaruallusions above due to my hairstyle adding it to the mix. And again, that's mainly for Hazama, since I myself have a dash ofHellish Pupilsinstead.Extreme Omnivore: Why does everyone but me hateNoel'scooking? She's the greatest chef ever!Because you know, her cooking is so made of everything hateful, and I love it. And you BETTER NOT SAY I HAVE NO TASTE IN FOOD! I love my boiled eggs like everyone else's favorite food, thank you...Family-Unfriendly Death: What happens to mean in my Gag Ending of Continuum Shift, when bathing I end up using something that attracts every cat or cat like creature to me, and they start using me as a scratching post. One or two is just annoying, but when you have dozens... it hurts. Y'know, in hindsight, this makes my ultimate death by Hakky more family-friendly. Just sayin'.Fan Nickname: Trollzama. Well I am very much aTroll.Fantastic Racism: Shitty vampires, beastkins... hate'em.All of 'em.Y'know what? Fuck it all -I hate everybody.Except myself. I'm awesome.Fashion-Victim Villain:Not reallysince of BlazBlue's cast, playable or otherwise, I'm the only person who dresses normally. I mean look at Relius, for My sake. Seriously, that bastard looks like he's wearing a freaking shower curtain!They even had the nerve to declare me a fucking HIPSTER on theBururajitalk show!SUGITA!IMAI!KONDOM! AND EVEN YOUNAKAMURADESPITE YOU BEING MY JAPANESE VOICE, YOU WILL FEEL MY FUCKING WRATH SOON ENOUGH, YOU DAMN SHIT-HEADS!AND ESPECIALLY YOU YOU GODDAMN CAT! Seriously, 'Hipster Person'!? What the flying fuck!? I'll show YOU ABOUT \"BREAKING\" CHARACTER ONE DAY, LITERALLY!!!!Faux Affably Evil: I'll speak in casual tones at times, but only to emphasize on how much you suck and how screwed you are in my face. No, wait, that's Hazama. I just skip the formalities and cut straight to the killing!Fedora of Asskicking: I'll indulge you in one of my awesome secrets; my Hazama-self knows an Ars Magus to conjure one out of thin air! He somehow loses his all the damn time from a fight, so of course he needs his damn style kept up. And that's why I often wear a hoodie, thank you.Flat Character: Yeah, I'm gonna admit... I haven't got much going for me in the whole character department besides \"LOL, Imma evil!\". But you're not here to watch my fall from grace or some other shit for pussies, you're here for moi, an awesomely and supremely powerful and magnificent villain pulling outamazing villainous things left and right. What's it to you if that's all I am? See if I give half a shit. I'm still awesome! Besides, you'll find out all you need to know for me to haveFor the Evulzas a motive, it's not like aGeneric Doomsday Villainwho doesn't. Then again, a lot of people say Iamgoing that direction in addition of my 'just-because' liking for people's suffering. Even if that is to be true, again, who frickin' cares? I still win and I'm a total badass at the end of the day. You wantgeneric? Look at that doddering old battleaxe Izanami and tell me that isnotaGeneric Doomsday Villain! Not to mention that she has a personality that lies somewhere between a stale mothball, an expired Werther's Caramel chew, a musty sock, and a used tampon. Yeah, I went there.Foil: To Relius. He only takes action when it helps his plans. For me, making everyone sufferisthe plan, so I do evil every chance I get. And apparently a lot of you tropers think he's scarier than me. How about I pay you a visit and test that theory, hm? But of course to save you trouble, even I at least understand some part of that, since even his experiments do little to amuse me and do more to freak me out, blugh.Believe it or not, this even applies to both Hazama and I. Hazama's willing to mock away with the last laugh more than I would and is more subtle and quiet (hah, like hell; he lies WAY MORE THAN I DO). Meanwhile, the real me would rather hack the shit out of whatever I feel like and I'd ham it up a lot more; hell, the little bastardeven bothersto be\"polite\" for the hell of it, evenifthe situation shouldn't call for it. Other than that, we'd mostly be the same and in tandem.....that is...until those new scenes inCentral Fictionand some of Hazama's dialogue towards me inChronophantasmaprior....plus, looks like Hazama ALSOtakes a level in kindness...which makes him even MORE of a cruel troll that somehow drives EVEN ME nuts since he just goes elsewhere when nothing's of use to him anymore. And via that winquote against me inCP's arcade mode....WHAT DO YOU MEAN BYMEBEING WEAKER THANYOU, HAZAMA?! HMMMM?!?!For the Evulz: I guess you could say I am bored... misery is interesting! But....it's mainly for the bullshit that Master Unit has been pulling on me.....I'm going to rip that contraption a new one someday.....soon that piece of shit will crap out bricks for even existing with me around!It seems it's more about \"for the fact that such a purpose for my existence also heals my well-being off of Amaterasu's pain\" for my real self, Susano'o. And damn, now that I look at that....my real-self does seem a lot more angry and focused on smashing up shit rather than being an awesome crazy dude like me.\"Freaky Friday\" Flip: Relius made it happen in hisContinuum ShiftGag Ending. He apparently decided to have yet another experiment at the expense of everybody else that involved switching people's bodies. Which would have been fineIF HE DIDN'T INVOLVE ME IN IT!And of all the people he switched me with, it just had to be that stupid Kaka bitch! He's lucky it didn't really happen, or I'd make him pay for it.Gameplay and Story Integration: My fighting style always meshes well with my personality.As Hazama, my style involves mix-ups baiting enemies, using mixups and tricks with mobility. Put simply you have to literally troll your opponent to win as me. Fittingly he proves to be a troll worthy of my name when we seperate.My style is pure offense, as when I separate from Hazama, I decide to drop any facade of manners and just go full on aggression and violence!And when in my original body I can REALLY show the pure power of a god! I don't rely on boring counters like that Hakky but sheer overwhelming power!Gameplay and Story Segregation: Released as my true from as Yuuki Terumi, I'm much stronger than as Hazama, I even managed to go head to head with Hakumen, when as Hazama, he could take on me and Relius and still kick our asses, but players found my Hazama incarnation to be a higher tier character.At my peak in my original body I am the most powerful force on Earth, except maybe the Black Beast. But I can still be beaten in gameplay like anybody else. In fact I'm not even considered a very good character because of how long it takes to gain access to most of my techniques.Glacier Waif: A major problem with my Hazama incarnation is this: my Drive is so fun to spam, but spam it too much and I can't even use it, let alone move around the place as well. I just seem to hate running around so much asdancing around youis enough energy spent for me. Because of this, I also have only a minor dash forward for my dash animation but that's at least cancel-able to crazy extents. Tying into my short range on several of my moves, it's often a chore needed to get asclose to my opponent as possible to even land some offense.Oh, and I actually have a slow walking speed. Oh, it sucks so damn much....but I need to deal with it in some way, balance and whatnot.Glass Cannon: In my true self, I'm all about powerful offense, including a menacing run as a form of dashing movement at last, but I'm not built like a tank or anything. I actually have less health than as Hazama, since well,balanced gameplay, that health and my Drive Mechanics would make me too good. In fact my moveset is so lacking in the defense area that the only way you can use me and expect to win is justgo all out! Then it goes to show both my Hazama and Terumi-selves have no safe reversals.....it just frickin' sucks.Not to mention I lack the good old skills needed to just mess around with you. I don't even have one overhead on the ground, for God's sake. So of course, trying to pop open your turtle shell's going to be even more work for my Terumi form. Not only that, I don't do a whole lot of damage, since I like to make my opponent just suffer so well before they get K.O.ed...if you have a problem with me taking too much time to hack someone up, then you'll have to deal with it sadly. Luckily\u2014well, for me, anyway\u2014that hole's being patched up inCentral Fiction.A God Am I: I have the powers to rival almighty beings such as Takamagahara and the old hag herself because I am the almighty god Susano'o!Oh... you thought I was a mere mortal with a god complex? HA HA HA!!! No, I amTHESusano'o! The god of destruction and chaos in theBlazBlueverse. I am the original will of the unit and with it I have the powers to destroy all who get in my way!note:Darkseid: All that power and you waste it on childish things. I was right to call you a whelp.Gone Horribly Right: That shitty vampire and the other Six Heroes try to force my conscious into the open to get off my for good, and it causes it to materialize into a new body, and in it I was even stronger than before, managing to fight Hakumen to a standstill.Go-Karting with Bowser: This happens in the Gag Reels. Don't ask me how, those things work onRule of Funny.Noel's Gag Ending inContinuum Shifthas most of the cast going out to eat a restaurant Noel is cooking at, including me despite all of them hating me. What's the biggest thing about it? I was having a damn conversation with Ragna as my real self for quite a while, despite us occasionally hurling threats at each other. Hell, we were even pretty much acting like typical-yet-dismissal friends in that scenario.Makoto's Gag Reel in the same game, I take part in a play where everyone is taking in play portraying the damn squirrel's dysfunctional family. Everyone drew roles randomly so I ended up with the role of her mom-yes seriously!I had nothing to do with it.And that's a gag reel inChronophantasma: Extend, I'll tell you that much.However, it may be the reason tying into why the leitmotif Nightmare Fiction doesn't play when Ragna and my real self fight inChronophantasma....either I'm WAY MORE AWESOME THAN HE IS...or it must be more about Hazama instead of yours truly, so I think that would make more sense...huh.Hate Sink: The whole point of my design. Everybody in the game hates me, and the writers designed to me make you guys hate me. Though they instead started likin' me. Eh, whatever, me getting adored works well for publicity, and me being hated means that I get off their tears. That said publicity won't work against me in-universe anyway, HAHAHAH!!!!Hates Being Touched: Don't youdaretouch me, like when you're trying to throw me! It ain't because I'm scared of you, but because you worms are all so filthy that contact with you is going to pollute this radiant self of mine! Especially you Izanami! Keep your doddering, wrinkly, leathery hands off me!Hates Everyone Equally: I could count on one hand the number of people who are 'not' shitty losers. Makes is kinda hard to single out someone to vent on.Heads I Win, Tails You Lose:Continuum ShiftArcade. You lose? It's game over and continue screen for you. You won? That was just a nice warm up, here's a brainwashed Mu-12 for you to fight if you perform well. Win against that one? Well it's just me getting to view a possibility to add to my master plan, sucker! What are you complaining about? It's not my fault the story is set so if you use a shittier (in-terms-of-story) character against somebody who outclasses the plot has to remind you how pointless it is.The Heavy: Relius and are, kinda equals, but I'm the far more active one because he was so lazy he wasn't even playable until untilContinuum Shift Extend.Hope Crusher: The only truth is despair, everything is lies, and I'll show it by crushing all those shitty things you call 'hope'!Hypocrite: I will say a lot of things I did not believe in. Like 'I will not lies', but I quote, \"There comes a time when someone has to lie to save their ass off.\" But really, you all think I'm SUCH a great villain because I AM aHypocrite,right!?I Am Not SHAZAM: I'm a meta example. Despite my real name being revealed, the game still refers to me as Hazama. Confusing, I know. Hazama is the name of the body I'm using. InChronophantasma, when I get drawn out of it, the game calls me Yuuki Terumi because I'm in my own body.I Have Many Names: Hazama. Yuuki Terumi. Black Susano'o. Kazuma Kvar. There's more, but of course, only someone as great as I am gets such privilege. I'll tell you this much, Yuuki Terumi isn't even my real name. What's my real name you ask? That's for me to know, and for you assholes to never find out.Names to Run Away from Really Fast: And most of them are also this trope, ain't it a big warning sign that I amObviously Evil? Well, probably 'Yuuki Terumi' is a pretty safe name. Protip: Satan was formerly known as Lucifer, which meant 'Lightbringer' and he used to be buddy buddy with his God. So yeah,it still kinda counts!All right, since I feel like the time is right, I'll tell you my real name. My real name isTakehaya Susano'o-no-Mikoto. You can shorten it to Susano'o if you like. But don't you dare call me (Susan)!Huh, Hazama didn't even bring up his extended name of \"Hazama Honoka\"....I guess that's one way to not confuse him for anotherHazamain another fighting game.Hidden Weapons: Butterfly knives. Always good for fighting. I even have a couple hidden in my shoes.In the Hood: I had one ever since the days of the Dark War. Pretty snazzy, don't ya think?Well?Irony: Succeeding inContinuum Shiftturned out be my undoing. With the time loop, I was invincible because I could just shift timelines if something went wrong. Without, I couldn't do shit. Oh well, I still left my mark greatly in the time loop... what a nice impression I made.If you think about it, my original-self, Susano'o, seems to be someone who REALLY seems pissed off....he seems to spend more time breaking shit rather than having fun like me. Anger issues much...? Then again, I've been a different person for a long time, so....It's All About Me,Narcissist: Because I'm the one and only most awesome things in this world, so they better run on my designs! In fact, if I win in Chronophantasma, I'll just kick you from your screen because the screen only needs one fighter. ME!Jerkass: Yes, I am very unpleasant. I like being unpleasant, especially at cost ofyourmisery! In fact, I think this is such an understatement for me when I'm pretty much, and very proudly, something else even worse.Jerkass God: So, watcha gonna do about it?Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: I figured that Trinity had the hots for me. Well, it was more she had the hots for Kazuma, really. She thought that I'd come around just because of that. The bitch could not be any more wrong. Hell, it was the exact opposite. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have pulled one over the other heroes and off-ed Nine. Hehehehe.Karmic Death: Well, like I've said in Relius' gag ending, not that I haven't deserved some form of punishment hundred times over....due to all the shit I've done....BUT my gag ending inContinuum Shift....IT JUST HAD TO BE THOSE FUCKING CATS. And while we're at it, you might as well call a certainChronophantasmagag reel \"Revenge of the Cats\". I HATE THOSE GODDAMNED THINGS!!Fine fine fine, I'll tell you why.....in my Hazama body it seems, I have to be FUCKING allergic to them....I'm going to rip Relius a new one when I ask him what went on creating Hazama like this....however,it seems my real-self has NO actual problem with cats....poor Hazama must be whimpering in pain all by himself now. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!I am also FUCKING AWARE of the irony ofRaggy and Major Failure using a copy of the VERY SAME WEAPON I used to kill Hakky to take me out of the Susano'o unit!Knight of Cerebus: Once I show up, everything starts getting darker, to point where a lot of you shits couldn't take it and stopped caring.Even with my death that doesn't seem to be undone, now I just hope for some reason I can see those miserable faces from beyond the grave! Waitaminute, if those shitheads somehow manage to defeat Izanami,then I'm stuck in Hellwith that damn dinosaur!Then again, if they had to resort toDeus ex Machinaby turning old Hakky into one just to get rid of me... well, what chance do these shitheaded losers have against that old bag? Ha!Unless the shitty vampire and Mercury has some sort ofCosmicDouche.MORI, DON'T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!noteIf you wanna go through it, BRING ME BACK AND ALL OF THE WORLD'S DESPAIR I BRING TOO!The shitheads finally defeated The Hag. Didn't kill her butthey did something far worse:fuse her with Noel.The Hag screamed like a dyinggoatas Raggy shoved her into Noel like those old '80s squishy plush toys you jam into a plastic tube. In the meantime, I killed off Hakky for that one moment so I could get my original body back.Large Ham: Can't you tell from this page?'Cuz I'meeevil. (Eat your heart out,Lex Luthor!... What you do mean the Flash said that?!)Believe it or not, in my true persona I'm even more so. Hazama has some restraint, but I don't.Ham-to-Ham Combat: Whenever I face Hakumen or Ragna.My true self Susano-o is not as hammy since I do show some restraint but my speech is more formal but I do nothing to hide my contempt for everything else in the world.Laughably Evil: As terrible as I am, none can deny that I'm hilarious, especially in when I show up in a Gag Ending. Lately they think I stopped being funny. You really want me to force you to laugh, do you? You'll wish that I used a laughing gas instead of what I have in store for you!For my original-self though, even I'll warn you that he's not one to joke around, so he subverts/averts it.Leitmotif: Hazama and I have gotten several kickass themes throughout the series. Hazama hasGluttonyFangwhile my true self hasSilent Scream. We also haveEndlessDespairfor when we decide to dish outunlimited pain! Not only am I the greatest in EVERYTHING else but my themes are so awesome you shitheads can't help but remix and put vocals to them!Oh I almost forgot butmy original self also has his owncoupleofthemesthat will rock over the last moments of your shitty existence! But please...with the first theme, ignore thereally awkwardEngrish vocals if you can. It's a very serious case of twisted lyrics that even makes me lose my cool...Technically I share it with Old Yeller, Tits McGee, Hakky, that stupid goddamn cat and Glasses, but hell, why not throw in theSIX HEROEStheme in there? There for your listening pleasure while I and those losers beat the shit out of each other. It's the sort of music that just makes you ask yourself \"Do youreallywanna fuck with me?\"Limited Wardrobe: In my joke ending, it would seem I have nothing but multiple copies of that one suit my Hazama-self wears, over and over.....WHAT?! HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT, FUCKING DIPSHIT?!Then again, it's been averted a bit with all of my other incarnations. But it looks like that one under-suit without the coat is the real kicker. It's what I've been wearing over it that's been different, no?Loose Lips: ... The fuck did you say, Hazama? You told the rat about Relius' interests in her, and THEN sent him to hunt her down? Cause and effect, motherfucker! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND IT?! That little BITCH was problem enough interposing between our knives and Major Pain-in-the-Ass, and SHIT like that DOES NOT HELP!!Kick Them While They Are Down: Practically a quarter of my moves have me doing this to my opponents and a distortion as Hazama has him doing this as well. This is just me showing those shit-faced losers their place in life,under my heel!Let's list them down to show how awesome the list is:Orochi Burensou (Great Serpent Martial Tempering Burial). That's my Hazama-self, right there.Garengeki (Fang Sickle Attack). Stompin' away at ya as good ol Terumi! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!Don't break your fingers mashing away for more hits from it now....Orochi Burensen (Great Serpent Martial Tempering Massacre). The version of the Hazama-self-DD above, which doesn't require that stupid Jasetsu move beforehand. As of the 1.1 Patch inChronophantasma, here's a fun little thing: one version is a low attack where I just merely grind my feet on your head and kick you away, while another version is an overhead with the traditional stomp spams.Last but not least, I can even do this to my enemy as one of my victory animations as Terumi! And here's the funny thing....it counts as a hit for the combo counter despite the match being over. So....Raggy, prepare for me to make use of you for Score Attack Mode! AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!Still a strange thing though...Manipulative Bastard: Words are just that damn powerful, especially when they're coming out of my mouth. And because I'm so magnificent, they will just blame my victims for being idiots to fall to my traps, whereas Iambeing praised astheMagnificent Bastard!Mind Rape: I put my emphasis in this. No one escapes my mental penis.No one.Moral Event Horizon: Where to even begin with this one? I've crossed this line, without a care in the world, so many damn times that I'm practically on vacation every single damn time. I think one of the biggest ones would be cutting off Raggy's arm, burning down the church that he and his shit-headed sibilings lived in, killing the sister that ran the place, driving his brother insane, and kidnapping both him and his sister all within the span of a few minutes, and laughing all about it, even to this day, might be a good place to start. Actually, that is probably what you shitty tropers will consider because that is first thing you see about me. But seriously? I probably would've been stationed WAAAAAAY beyond the line before the fucking series ever kicked off! And to note, I still enjoy taking leaps further from the line. Fifty times before breakfast.Mr. Fanservice: One of the story illustrations showed me bathing in all my glory. I got such a sexy bod, eh?PRAISE IT.Near-Villain Victory: And it wasso damn nearthat I could literally taste it; all I had to do wasput Raggy where he belongedand that would've been that. Best part? The shitty vampire couldn't help; she was reeling from the torture Hazama gave to her! Heard it even drove Raggy so crazy he almost went full Black Beast on everyone before I arrived, and Hazama saved me the trouble of killing him by yeeting himself into the nearest cauldron! Though that begs the question of how that extradimensional punk brought him back down...noteI swear to me, if that squirrel hadanythingto do with that, I'm going to have a birth of cactuses out of my asshole. From what I know, some double-uddered bot that goes by the name of Es was hunting down the punk \u2014 Naoto Kurogane \u2014 due to how he could screw with this world thanks to his presence conflicting with Raggy's, or so we're told. The robocow couldn't finish him off when she found him, however, because she was stopped in her tracks by... ...(high-pitched demonic screeching)Nice Job Fixing It, Villain:SO LOATHE THIS TROPE. Bad enough sending the rodent off cause my plans to go FUBAR butkilling Trinity lead to the creation of Hakumen?!Yes. That's a real pickle....would you excuse me for a moment *pulls down hood and fumes* IWILLmurder Mori for this.....No-Nonsense Nemesis: That doesn't refer to me. I LOVE messing around with my victims before killing them! No, it refers tomy original self, who is a lot less willing to have fun and just carve a path of destruction towards the gate. And of course, whenever I have to deal with Hazama who messes around WAY MORE than I do.Not Me This Time: In Celica's Arcade mode inCentral Fiction. Nu-13 had been running around taking the Nox Nyctores and Celica naturally assumes it was my doing. Well to her disappointment I had nothing to do with it, it was her precious big sister Nine.Obviously Evil: I meancome on, do I look legit to you? Tsubaki and Litchi must be complete idiots to still even think of working for my side, whether they like it or not! And let's not forget Little Miss Trinity Glassfield, who LOVES my Kazuma form enough to set me free! Hah!Off-Model:GODDAMMIT, GONZO!!!What the hell did you do to my awesome face!? I'll let it slide for now, because it does serve for a moment toTrollthe audience. Though the same thing would be said about the guys behind Alter Memory. Seriously, did I kill their families and they are trying to get revenge by drawing me off-model? More power to me though!Oh, Crap!: When Kokonoe sent that bitch Celica lose near in Hazama's arcade mode inChronophantasmait SCARED THE FUCKING PANTS OFF ME! For the uneducated, that girl's presence shuts down Azure Grimoires. Ragna is lucky, all it does to him is keep him from using his arm, but my whole body is an Azure Grimoire so I'm completely immobile around her!One-Winged Angel: In my Astral, I take the form of the Black Susano'o and wipe my shit-stained opponent off the face of the earth with one swipe, because I AM THEONE, TRUE SUSANO'O!Orochi: One technique from each persona of mine has this mythological motif. For my Hazama-self, and another for good old me. Since I AM a cold-hearted snake that's been telling lies, of course I need this at some point. It's only as ofChronophantasmaof course.The Other Darrin: Aside from the Erik Davies-to-Doug Erholtz example, here's one strange thing to point out....due to poor scheduling of a recording session in the English dub,Spike Spencerhad to voice me in one arcade cutscene inContinuum Shift II. Strange, I know, but bullshit like this can happen even I can admit.It happens again inCentral FictionwithKenta Miyakevoicing my true-self, Susano'o.Ouroboros: Again, another mythological snake motif. The name of my weapon or Nox Nyctores. You call it 'mental penis'. I say it's awesome! But then again, that 'penis' moniker does make me blush....you're too kind. Heheheheheheh.....Overranked Soldier: What was that?! You are saying I don't deserve to be a Captain? How about you come here and let me show why I am a Captain. And besides,who do you thinkfoundedboth the N.O.L.andSector 7? If anything, I'm anUnderranked Soldier.Physical God:As Susano'o I have the power to flatten nearly everybody else in the cast and I will use this power to destroyALLof Amaterasu's creations.Pop-Cultured Badass: And while I'm at it, I'll also refer to many memes as far as I can remember! Awesome, huh? That is why I am VERY favored.The Power of Hate: I get off from making you hate me! The more you hate me, the more I will be anchored to your world... and goodness me, the people in theBlazBlueworld are just idiots that they can't even ignore me! Of course, that's probably because I never get tired in pissing them off or presenting myself as a threat to them... What? It'sfun.The only exception for the \"fun\" part is my true-self, Susano'o. It seems he does it for pure rage against Amaterasu and for upholding his own existence.Psychopathic Manchild: Well, maybe you got a point. All these awesome things can be said that I just have very simple, childish desires...To get known as the most awesome being ever!And if I don't get that desire pronto and eternally...I've got enough manpower to force it upon you!!.Except that wrinkly old hag Izanami, but hey what can you say?It'sstill a personality trait!Subverted by my original-self via Susano'o, who's more collected and fuming red than crazy and laughing mad.Red Oni, Blue Oni: I'm as batshit crazy as they come. Can't say the same for Relius, though.Now that I think about it, it's the same thing with Hazzy and me. Y'know, me and my bitchin' badass hooded jacket, and him and hisWacko-Jacko get-up.Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory: I remember every single loop I have went through.Every. Single.GODDAMN.ONE!You might argue that the reason why I'm like this is because of that, but frankly, I don't give a shit. In fact, if I can use this trope as a cheat sheet to figure out how to outmaneuver anyone...well, that worked out well... right?Satanic Archetype: Yep, I'm the closest you can get to the big D himself in thelovely fun-filled world of BlazBlue,especiallyas my real self. Hell, I like to think I'm even better than the Devil. That's right! Suck a fat one, Satan!Savage Wolves:My original motif as Susano'o, but only in the actions I perform and sadly not the names of my techniques. The difference between me and the shitty vampire's Old Yeller? He's all gums and I still got my fangs!Seven Deadly Sins: I incorporateallof them. You can say I'm a jealous guy that they can hold onto things like hope, but I don't, so the verdict is that, what they hold that I can't get is stupid!Envy: Remember that time I yanked Nine? She's trying to get rid of my Nox Nyctores!Greed: Without it, where else do I get my share of making people suffer more and more? Excess is pretty fine for me, even if I don't look fat! And hey, I'm not satisfied with how I'm already this powerful evil spirit, I want MORE! And probably after I become the most worshipped thing ever, I'll want EVEN MORE!Gluttony: Everything for my greatest pleasure, that is, making people suffer!Lust: Oh and yeah, Relius may be kind of aLazy Bum, but me, why lift my finger for dirty works when I can use shitty pawns like that?Sloth: I'm also averyshort tempered being, see myBerserk Buttonup there? It's easy to press.Go ahead, press it! I dare you, I double dare you, shitfaces!Wrath: But most importantly, I believe myself to be above you worms, because that's just how I think. I am the most awesome, radiant being in this world, higher than any beings!Pride: Don't forget that I embodyonemore sin that's not normally recognized: despair. See, I love crushing the hopes and dreams of anyone and everyone and putting people at their lowest and digging that pit even deeper. How's that for being an evil SOB, huh?Sharing a Body: Hazama is actually his own living entity made by Relius, while yours truly is a ghost inhabiting Hazama's body. I've done this with Kazuma Kval in the past, mind you.However, it seemsChronophantasmadeconstructs this. Looks like the damn side effects of that stupid Mind Eater curse used by that bitch Nine on me in the past caused my merge with Hazama to be incomplete (despite my damn proper fusion with that damn troublesome fucker Kazuma Kval...), so it's been forcing us to remain as two separate identities inhabiting the same body and acting as one (with some notable success initially it seems). In this case however, Hazama's the dominant go-to-guy to be in public and good old me takes over whenever my cover's been blown, or when I feel the need to shit on someone (it's because of this is why we've had two separate sets of story portraits even at the start ofCalamity Trigger).However, that damn vampire or rabbit or whatever and those damn chumps being the Six Heroes start to use the damn Muchourin combined with that wench's asswiping magic to switch our consciousness, forcing me to be the front while Hazama just gloats and ends up being in where I was at first.....damn bastards could've ended me right there if that damn Phantom didn't arrive on time....then not only that, another unforeseen side effect of that bullshit incarnates me into the physical world, all within a corporeal body of my own. And that is why end up as separate characters (and that damn bastard Hazama even has the nerve to callME weakerthan him when he beats me in arcade mode....).Then however, comesCentral Fiction.....judging from all those scenes in the opening (in terms of Hazama and I standing apart from each other and himstillflaunting those two separate arcade artwork portraits of him having his normal face to his more awesome evil face as usual),how come I feel that deconstruction's going to be even more milked than I thought...?But wait....turns out,it did. It seems that damn Hazama's off on his own little merry adventure in the fourth installment of the main series, while I'm able to do as I please....though I still think that pissy fellow's a bit suspicious in his own regards.And it seems I have to give him points for faking his amnesia just to play with everyone else...but wait.....WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ME MY HOST ANYMORE?! AND I CAN'T FUSE WITH YOU THANKS TO TRINITY AND RACHEL'S MAGIC?!?! Oh.....I see how it is.....just because I may feel good about having a \"new-best-friend\", DOESN'T MEAN I'LL LET YOU OFF THE HOOK, HAZAMA! Oh, and I somehow do this to re-hijack my old body back from Hakky to become Susano'o again. HA!Shout-Out: My design as Hazama is nod the Micheal Jackson music video \"Smooth Criminal\", along with my movements. The fans noticed andcalled me a smooth criminal.Hell, my birthday is even April 29, which is International Dance Day. Fun, huh? But that's only for my Hazama-self, since you don't need to indulge in anything else about the real me because I'm awesome enough.Doesn't my Astral Heat kinda remind you of thatGeese Howardguy? Well, my Hazama version blasts the opponent with chains instead of shockwaves. Most importantly, it's just fun seeing you pathetic players sprain your fingers trying to pull it off. But to save you some trouble, at least my real self has a more simple command, and that one command that my Hazama-self has actually has a few simple bypasses that have been historically there, I kid you not. So there's still \"hope\" for you...BLEEEEGH! Hope....but then again I can't be having my fans get turned off now, can I?Sir Swears-a-Lot: Ain't that fucking right?! Of course, here's a cool catch; how I swear actually depends on my mood. If I'm pissed off or disgusted, then I normally use sexual swears or lingo out of habit.Smug Snake: Ah yeah, I'm just as smug as you can get and I'll happily rub it to all of your faces 24/7...Smug Super: But youcan'tdo anything about it because the moment you do,I kick your ass. Deal with it, shitfaced losers.SNK Boss: My Hazama self's Unlimited form inContinuum Shift. I can do my Serpent's Benediction/Jasetsu (Snake Temple) moves by themselves, my air dash is faster, AND I get a green, life-stealing aura (noperfectsfor you shitheads, hahahaha). It's kinda hard to say who between me, Mu or Ragna is the hardest boss in that game's story mode.Have fun having your parents cutting off your allowance after fighting my true form in the console and explaining to them why your controller is lodged in their hard earned 66 inch HDTV.The Sociopath: People are just my stress toys, and I love beating and humiliating those stress toys a lot... What? I got stressed out of boredom a lot, and that's when I don't see worms squirming!Spell My Name with an S: My name \"Yuuki Terumi\" actually has a long vowel on the \"u\" part of \"Yuuki\". So it can be written as \"Yuki\", \"Y\u016bki\" or \"Yuuki\". It's a pain to get down, I know.Sadly, this can also apply to the romaji of my moves in Japanese. Have fun. Meh, I'll admit, you're not going to and neither am I.Then comes the body prior to Hazama that I possessed, Kazuma. His surname is either Kvar, Kval or via its Japanese spelling, Kuvaru. Yeah.....his case is MUCH more ambiguous.Staying Alive: I told I'd be ba...I only have a week to find Hazama before I goPfft?!FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!MERCURY, YOU VILE BITCH!Straight Man and Wise Guy: I'm theLaughably EvilTrolland therefor I am the best Wise Guy in the series. Though this series is full such wackjobs that sometimes even I can play the Straight Man, like when I'm around that stupid boob obsessed cat, or in my Gag Reel inContinuum Shiftwhere I turned into a magnet for all of those damn cats!Straw Nihilist:EVERYTHING EXCEPT DESPAIR ARELIES LIES LIES LIES!!!!Now, accept that as the normsOR ELSE!!Yes, this means you, Hazama. Stop wasting time being a \"good boy\" in front of stress toys and get to the point! My original Susano'o-self just does it just because he hates Amaterasu though.Suspiciously Similar Substitute: My Yuuki Terumi persona is a weird subversion. I get drawn out of my Hazama body, and then I get killed.Story-Breaker Power: I spend most of my fights kicking everybody's asses until Ragna manages to get strong enough to beat me. Outside of him, the only other guy who has been able to take me on is that tough son of bitch Hakumen, who kicked the shit out of Relius and I at the same time. As my true self I could fight that bastard on equal terms.Azraelmight also have been able to beat me, but I never fought him.Nope, scratch that. He and I duked it out once. InCentralfiction. In Act 3, for his last stage. Which wasn't fucking fair at all, catching me at a very bad time. Mad Dog? More like MadBitch; the least that son of a bitch could do isNOT kick people while they're down and put up a fair fight!Synchronization: WithNoel Vermillion/Mu-12. As long as she's still alive then I can always come back. Though we'll have to see what affect Time Killer has on a life-link, if any at all, but I'm guessing for now that this is how I'll come back.There's also a slight possibility with the case of my Hazama body despite us ending up separate inChronophantasma, but I think that's for another time to learn about.Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: It's kinda of put with Relius. Being equally horrible men makes working together easier, even he's aLazy Bum.\"The Reason You Suck\" Speech: Oh boy, this issomy favorite tool to torment others, I can find every reasons why someone next to me just sucks and if I feel like it, I'll drill it to their sorry asses all the time until they break down in despair!HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!And no one has given me any, all of them just resorting to repetitive shitty \"I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU TERUMI!!\". Pfft, yeah, like I care! Why am I so awesome? Must be because I don't suck compared to those losers they can't even make up that trope for me! Well, a part of me can understand, but not like I wanna! Ha!But of course, if you wrong ME however....then we'll see who's \"FORGIVEN\".Third Act Stupidity: After reading oneRevenge Ficabout me too many, Arc System Works decided to hit me with the \"Derp Ray\", blinding me to the rodent's presence. It affected my performance in \"CSE\" and \"Chronophantasma\", lowering me to \"Homer Simpson\" levels of dumb. They turned me from a glorious bastard into Sector Seven's carbon blobs from subroom G! Mori, you better not jinx my return or I'll shove that monkeypaw so far up your ass you'll be puking bananas! But it DOES show me to be careful next time....best to live another day carefully so I can still be able to rip chumps a new one....To Create a Playground for Evil: Yes, yes! You humans should just fight and squirm each others like the worms you are to bring about my ideal world, while I just sit here and munch some popcorns letting you do the dirty works!Unfortunately the Hag wants to turn my playground intoa barren, dusty, desiccated husk, just like her shriveled ovaries.Now that The Hag is out of the way, I can resume my goal to destroy the world and recreate it in my own image. Of course most of you will die, but look at it this way: at least you're spared from smelling aeons-old, dried-up fish cootch.Trademark Favorite Food: I just LOVE boiled eggs! Since I've got asnake thing going on, I prefer eating them whole like an actual snake does! Oh, goody! Don't you dare diss my boiled eggs now, or else. But if you love 'em as much as I do, maybe we can be friends! For once? Hell, I even boil those babies in a hot bath (in myContinuum Shiftjoke ending), and it's one of the greatest things in life! (If ONLY that damn thing didn't have cat motifs on it....)Oh, why don't I eat them normally you ask? Well, that's for another time....Troll: You shittin' me?I am more or less the God!And the malicious version,those other 'playful' ones don't hold a candle over me!Jelly,Bernkastel? U mad,Hades? Thoughthat fat little pigshitwants to challenge menoteThe worse part is that he actually killed hippies.And that Stream fella is quite the skilled troll himself.I'd personally rather punch and beat up shit to make it cry and bleed.....meanwhile that damn Hazama's more of the real troll nowadays as ofCentral Fiction; hell, hebothers to fake his amnesia! I give him points for fucking around with everyone, but if he's not willing to work with me when I need him most, I'll fuck him up myself when push comes to shove.Funny enough, my true-self seems A LOT more willing to destroy out of anger and defiance as opposed to trolling people with cruel smiles....I guess I've been to different places for a LONG TIME before I merged back with my old body it would seem.Unexpected Character: Well, not my Hazama self, anyway.Calamity Trigger's ending made it clear I'd be joining the fight next game, but my true self is a separate character inChronophantasma. The creators said they were done with alternate character incarnations, but I was so awesome they made an exception.They even worked the whole concept into the story mode ofChronophantasma, so how more awesome is that?!Oh and you want to know something even more awesome?!I was able to come back as my original Susano'o self inCentral Fictioneven though many unexpecting idiots thought that it was only for my Astral! Not only is it an alternate to yours truly but also to that inferior Hakky! Oh they lost their collective shit so much that those guys who created the game took down videos relating to my original form until people could unlock it!Unwitting Pawn: Just when it looked like Relius and I were setting Saya up as aPuppet Kingit turned out that she was possessed by Izanami and was using us. And this wasn't some creation named after a Shinto god like all those other things in the game, it was the full blown Shinto goddess of death. Yeah I didn't see that coming, nobody did, including you! I mean, I thought we had it under control, we were the ones to put Saya as the vessel of said Goddess in the first place! Laugh it up while you can, you ancient, walking, body surfing fossil.....But on the other hand... just WHO isn't myUnwitting PawninContinuum Shift? First Lieutenant Garbage just ate my words about the alternate world where First Lieutenant Defect did not exist and boy did that help me form up Mu-12 when she went apeshit on her. Doctor Giant Tits believed that I have the cure for Blob Boyfriend? Well technically kinda true, but she thought I'd give her? Ah hah hah! Yeah, enjoy doing all those for NOTHING and everyone else calling you a selfish, unsympathetic, amoral git when you could have lived in peace and with everyone else's support! Let's not forget just about everything else I did to Raggy and even Major Pain in the Ass, everything they do there just serves as my way to disable Takamagahara. They're all morons for becoming my pawns, and I'm awesome for roping them to my plans, that is why I had such a great fanbase. I'm that swag.Use Your Head: My latest move with my Terumi-self in Central Fiction, being the Tsuishouga (Crashing Pierce Fang). I've been spamming the frickin' hell out of energy snakes of darkness, so why not amp it up and bring one down on you with my nice and awesome IRON HEAD?!Villainous Breakdown: That one time with the goddamn squirrel? Yeah, that was one time I broke down, but really, can you blame me? I workedvery hardto build up that plan, and she just ruined it! But... that didn't happen very long, so I'm all back to my swag self. Heck, I threw off all her optimism when I met her in theCSArcade!Villain Has a Point: Hey, I get people don't trust me, and to be perfectly honest I don't care, but I still call it like I see when I can. Much likethat timeyet another justice freakandher snowy sidekickhad the brilliant idea of ambushing Ragna for this Keystone thingand never thought about how to use it.Smart girls.Villains Out Shopping: In my Gag Ending, I decide to take a moment to bathe. I may be evil, but I sure as hell ain't unhygienic. But it turns out I should have checked the warning label on my bathing powder.Villain Respect: Me having respect for any of those SHITBAGS beneath me?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!I do admit though I did congratulate Raggy when he was somehow able to pull me out of the Susano'o unit.Wild Card: As noted before, Hazama as ofCentral Fictionseems to do whatever he wants at that point, while still trolling people and not really wanting to be my vessel again.What Is This Feeling?:But a fair warning, it seems ever since that wound that Trinity inflicted on him in the ending ofChronophantasmais getting to him, he seems to start wanting to see what others look like when they're in pain and is thus having even more of a personal thing for torture; especially towards that shitty vampire bitch above the Boundary just to see how long she can last before dying?! WHAT?! AM I HEARING THIS RIGHT?! .........ooooh. Just the way I like it...HEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, zip up your shirt please, stop showing me that disgusting creepy wound before I literally disassemble you from there, Hazama.Why Won't You Die?: Standard reaction about why I won't be going away that easily. Pop quiz, the answer is here amongst the page. Of course, that went poof when Hakumen did the Time Killer, but...you know how it'll end up!And what do you know,IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK!Hakumen couldn't even kill TIME with that!I once used this trope with Ragna and told him to hurry up and die, but he wasn't going to be dying any time soon.And why didn't I die? Simple....I somehow started to \"observe\" myself. I got lucky with that I'll admit, so don't expect me to tell you that it's a simple-to-explain walk in the park.But dammit, I'm seriously running out of time before I'm snuffed out for good. Hazama, ya better re-work our fucking link together or...WHAT?! YOU DON'T WANT TO BE MY HOST ANYMORE?!Well, I guess I can still depend on you for certain tasks, especially since I've gotten something to make my own vessel with....but if push comes to shove...either I'll make sure I'll form that said new vessel to destroy you with.....OR I'LL TAKE YOU TO NON-EXISTENCE WITH ME!!!Bummer. Even AFTER I got back my awesome Susano'o body, I just had to confront Raggy later on to actually die for real. Not before cursing him with my last words of course. Now time to sit back and eat more boiled eggs now that my role's done....Wicked Cultured: Here's one thing I'll tell you about....I LOVE my guitar, and attending live rock concerts is a hobby of mine. Don't believe me? Check the material collection. Even the gag ending inChronophantasma: Extendthat I'm in brings that up to piece.Worthy Opponent: Wouldn't you believe it, because I sure as shit can't.It took four games, but li'l ol' Raggy finally grew a pair of balls aroundCentralfictionand shish-kebab'ed me with that Bloodedge of his, right after yanking me outta that suit... Sucks shit kicking the bucket, but hey, gotta hand it to the asshole for putting up one hell of a fight.You're Insane!: Believe it or not I'm never on the receiving end of this, I'm dishing it out. In my Gag Ending inContinuum Shiftwhen a shitload of cats get attracted to me, and Jubei says that before he kills me he'd, sniff me. Naturally I responded with this.This wiki is nothing but lies lies lies LIES!!! Allow me to show you all the only truth, the truth calledDESPAIR!!Alternative Title(s):Yuuki Terumi"}
{"text": "in Japanese, preferably withthis musicplaying in the background)Hahahahaha! Hark! Who goes there? A rinky-dink, bogus, two-bit, no-mark troper, that's what! Well, let's not mince introductions. You stand right now in the indomitable presence of the mightyZeke! Von! Genbu!Bringer of Chaos!Mostly known as Zeke. And often addressed as... THE ZEKENATOR! Crown Prince of Tantal! Hero of Alrest! Possessor of the Eye of Shining Justice! And wielder of the almighty... PURPLE! LIGHTNING! DREAMSMASHER!!!You may have known of my exploits from mystarring rolein the hit video gameXenoblade Chronicles 2, in whichI was the main character. Accompanied by my trusty Blade Pandoria and a bunch of sidekicks, I, the Zekenator, set off on a journey to fulfill the legacy of my ancestor Addam and save the Cloud Sea of Alrest from certain destruction! Along the way, my sidekicks and I would amass a veritable army of Blades, but none were as mighty as Pandoria herself and the unimaginable power she granted to her almighty wielder - ME!And what better way to honour a legendary hero such as the Zekenator than an appearance inSuper Smash Bros.? Of course, it was deemed thatthe incredible power of my Ultimate Lightning Fury Slash MAX was too great for the game to handle, and so I was relegated to watching in the background on Azurda's back with Pandy as Pyra and Mythra do all the fighting at my chum Rex's behest. But that won't stop the mighty Zeke von Genbu from returning for another round! Perhaps next generation,Nintendowill create a console capable of handling the combined force of my ULFS MAX colliding withCaptain Falcon's Falcon Punch! But I wouldn't keep my hopes up. After all, no force in the universe can match the incredible destructive power of such an occasion.ULTRA-ULTIMATE TROPERIFFIC ELECTROSTORM!!!Affectionate Nickname: Nia has a habit of calling me \"Shellhead\". I think it was meant as an insult. But it truly does say something that I started answering to that name even before we became allies.Awesome, but Impractical:Does my Ultimate Lightning Fury Slash MAX soundfamiliarto you? Flashy as all hell, backed up by the incredible force of its user (me!)... but sometimes it tends tomiss the mark.Badly.But I swear, it's only because I use 1% of my true power in battle, and my full-power ULFS MAX is a sight to behold that can rend the heavens in two!No, really! ...Well, minus the \"rending the heavens\" part. But it's pretty damn close.Give me a Megalance and I'll show any monster pointed my way what it truly means to be on the receiving end of the Zekenator's fearsome might! ...Emphasis on \"show\", since they tend to just attack or ignore me as I am busy channeling my incredible power into each move.Badass Longcoat: Only the Zekenator can survive the harsh climate of Tantal wearing nothing but atattered, battle-worn coat over his bare chest!Born Unlucky: Aside from being born with the Eye of Shining Justice, my luck... isn't the best, so to speak. It took methree triesto convince Rex and his chums that I meant no harm without the wrath of Mother Nature rearing its ugly head!Chuunibyou: When you meet theZekenator, the very first thing I imprint on your brain is how incredibly powerful and awesome I am, and how I carry the legendaryEye of Shining Justiceand all the destructive power that comes with it! Don't listen to what Pandy has to say about it, it's all true, and I can prove it to you!No, really. OnNew Game Plus, only the most devout disciples of the Zekenator can grind enough SP to unlock my skill \"Unleash Shining Justice\" and release the final seal on my fearsome, ungodly might... at least for 90 seconds.Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Are you bloodyshittingme? How DARE you imply that the mighty Zeke von Genbu is a moron of any kind! It's not my fault if others just can't properly handle the extent of my fearsome might! Just ask M\u00f2rag, who matter-of-factly (and rightfully) describes me as the strongest Driver in all of Tantal.Eyepatch of Power: Such an eyepatch is necessary to conceal the power of the Eye of Shining Justice and contain its incredible destructive power! ...No, it's not at all because I couldn't afford a second contact lens!Hidden Depths: I'm not all just awesome moves and bombastic bluster - I also happen to be one of the wiser ones in the group, and am well-versed in politics, language, maths, and of course swordsmanship.Given my past in Indol, I also spent a healthy amount of time reflecting on the morality and philosophy of the world, and whether Praetor Amalthus was truly as good a guy as he acted like.Leitmotif: I'll have you know that the Zekenator boasts themost epic and awe-inspiringtheme music ever known to mankind!The Reveal: Did I tell you about the time I almost bloody died? Youneedto hear about the time I almost bloody died.Specifically, I'm a Blade Eater, and part of Pandy's Core Crystal was implanted into my chest by Amalthus after I was fatally wounded in a battle. Still doesn't excuse him for everything else, though.Ridiculously Cute Critter: You can't mention the Zekenator without bringing up our beloved mascot... Turters, reveal yourself! ..Wait, what are you- Turters! Ah! TURTERS!(scuttles towards you and grabs Turters)Handling a man's turtle!Shock and Awe: They don't call me \"Thunderbolt Zeke\" for nothing! Thanks to my Blade, Pandoria, my Purple Lightning Dreamsmasher lets me unleash the deadliest electric attacks this side of Theosoir!Warrior Poet: Another one of the Zekenator's many talents is his erudite way with words!\"Darkness envelops the world in its stygian embrace...\"Zeke:Now prepare for my ultimate move...ULTIMATE LIGHTNING FURY SLASH... MAX!...Zeke:Huh?(ground crumbles beneath his feet)What's -NOOOOO!NOT AGAAAAAAINNNNN!!!Pandoria:Oh, don't worry about him. He'll find his way back up somehow!"}
{"text": "(For the full effect, read this in the voice ofJB Blanc.)Ah, Tropers. Come to hear about the mighty Emperor Zinyak, have you? Well, since I do so love to talk about myself, I'd be happy to indulge you.So, as previously stated, I am Zinyak. Emperor of the Zin, conqueror of countless worlds (And destroyer of at least one.), master technician of many a virtual reality, andappreciator of the works ofJane Austen, and to a lesser extent,Theodore \"Seuss\" Giesel. From my humble beginnings as the son of a butcher and seamstress in the town of Zinshire, I developed a lust for power, which would take me quite far.I was eventually enrolled in Zinkov Preparatory Academy, one of the finest schools my people can provide. While there, I excelled in the field of literary study, especially in the works of my personal favourite author, Jane Austen. Ah, I could read the banter between Miss Bennet and Mr. Darcy toward infinity were I allowed to. But I digress. Upon graduating Zinkov, I was enrolled in our planet's military, a rite of passage all young Zin partake in. I rose through the ranks to Commander of my own ship, with which I started travelling across the galaxy, conquering world after world in the name of the mighty Zin Empire.In my time there, I eventually found myself needing a second-in-command. I found this in Zinjai. What's more, simply conquering worlds did not suffice either. I decided I needed to test them, to break them, to hold their minds in my hand, and CRUSH THEM. To that end, I constructed The Simulation. With it, I would trap the minds of my enemies in prisons made of their worst fears. Ah, the sounds of their screams of despair are an aria that cannot be surpassed to me.Eventually, my conquests brought me to a planet I have been saving for a special occasion. A planet from which the finest literature the universe has ever known has been brought into existence: Earth. Once there, I bested the President Of The United States of America, and placed them in their own simulation. Like all who have fallen before me, they put up quite the fight. The problem, however, is that thanks to their friends, I've had a much more difficult time than usual at defeating them once and for all.And unlike the other warriors, they actually killed me.Now, I believe this is where I am to enter the \"tropes\" that you feel best describe me. Well, if I must:Aliens of London: London? My home was on Zin! Oh, wait, this trope is in place because of my English accent.Bald of Evil: Now, we Zin are born covered in hair, but I suppose that lack of keratin on my head, coupled with my actions while invading your planet, count me for having this trope.Collector of the Strange: What exactly is so strange aboutcollecting historically significant humans andpreserving them in cyogenic chambers?From Nobody to Nightmare: Who would have thought that a poor boy from the small hamlet of Zinshire would eventually become ruler of our whole planet, and a warlord who has subjugated many planets in the name of our empire as well?Klingons Love Shakespeare: Shakespeare? Ha! Compared to Jane Austen, his work is paltry at best.Large and in Charge: Why thank you. Indeed, among the Zin, I have quite the imposing stature, do I not?Mind over Matter: I have the power of Telekinesis, which I used against the President Of The United States in our first meeting.Now if only I'd thought to use it when he confronted me in the ship.Off with His Head!:This was my ultimate fate at the hands of that boorish lout, \"The President Of The United States\".Spikes of Villainy: What, these spikes on my head? All Zin have them.Virtual-Reality Warper: To all in the Simulation, I am the architect of their reality. I build what I want, I destroy what I want, and they are powerless to stop me from within their virtual prisons.Walking Shirtless Scene: Standard Zin garb does not include these \"shirts\" of which you speak."}
{"text": "(As you arrive at this page, someone sneaks up on you and surprises you with a shout..)BOO! Nee-heehee! Did I surprise you? Wet your pants? I can see you shiiiivering! Come on! Don't be mad! I just love to mess around! Huh? You don't know much about me personally? Weeellll... I guess I can spare a moment! Just note that what I'm about to say is 100% confidential and after I say what I'm going to say, I'll have to kill you! Nothing personal but I can't have people knowing too much about me! Don't be afraid!It's just a lie!Oh! By the way, my game series is KNOWN for it's spoilers so rest assured I'll behiding all of those nasty spoilers for you! You can thank me later!Anywho! My name is Kokichi Oma and I'm the Ultimate Supreme Leader! You'd better start fearing for your life juuuust about now, cuz I'm the supreme overlord of everything, meaning I'm theBig Badof the whole series! Yep! The guy that's behind making Monokuma, the killing games, and Danganronpa in general!Of course I'm lying! Nee-heehee! As you can probably tell, I LOVE me some jokes! Especially messing with others! But I guess I have to go through the details of me a little more in the game. But I'm one of the main characters so of course there is a lot to cover! And, frankly, it's a pain having to describe all of that. So, I'll let the tropes below do that for me! Nee-heehee!What do we have here? That filthy cum dumpster Miu hasher on self-demonstrating pageas well. Looks like every dumb bitch has her day huh?noteMiu:More... MORE!And, who is that?Rantaro's creepy brother or something?He definitely looks like someone who could be a killer! Nee-heehee!Wooooow!thesetwo*totally* look like they could be evil overlords! And I heard they like the same stuff as me too!The following tropes have been marked for spoilers... It's a lie!Ambiguously Evil: Whaat! I'mtotallyevil! Just look at all of the stuff I've done in the game! Oh, you've found out about me and Kaito's plan and my organization D.I.C.E.? ...I see.Anti-Hero: Really? I'm the mastermind after all! How can I be an anti-hero? Well if you've figured it out already sherlock, then it's obvious I'mnotthe mastermind and I actually hate the stupid killing game and killing in general! Doesn't stop me from messing with and manipulating others! Nee-heehee!Anthropomorphic Personification: So after learning the truth about me, Shuichi said to himself that I'm the human embodiment of deception. -cries- Shuichi knows me so well after all!WAAAAHHH!!!!Attention Whore: Ilovebeing in the center of attention especially in class trials! I always try my best to stand out from the other idiots especially Kaito.Badass Adorable: Looks can be deceiving, my friend! I do look like a lovable little kid, but I *am* quite theManipulative Bastard...Batman Gambit: My murder was perfect so that it could throw off Monokuma since not even *he* knew who the killer was! Since he didn't know, then there couldn't be a Blackened and thus, the killing game could've ended! However, it seems like that didn't work out in the end huh? Oh well!Battle Rapping: Well, there wasthat one timeI rattled verbal sabers with thatself-proclaimed Prince of Puzzles from Gotham City. It's probably the closest thing to a challenge I've ever faced.Berserk Button: Ugh... I *HATE* when people lie themselves when they always call me out on doing it! At least when I lie, I'm honest about it but when *they* lie, they think they're better than everyone! I HATE HATE HATE IT!!! Also, Shuichi thought it was a really good idea to lie to a supreme liar as myself. I picked up on it immediately and it pissed me the hell off when thought he could've gotten away with it! After that, I decided to ruin the fun for Shuichi by revealing right away the true culprit of the case: Gonta. And let me tell you, seeing that confused, surprised dumb look on Shuichi's face was sooooooooooo satisfying...Blatant Lies: Hey! Everything I say is the 100% goodness-to-honest truth! No lies! I just HATE people who lie.Brains and Brawn: It's super easy for a smart guy like me to manipulate someone as big and dumb as Gonta to being my pawn!It wasn't too difficult for me to blackmail that idiot Kaito to help me out either after losing Gonta.Brainwashed and Crazy: So the mastermind thought they could control *me*?! They had another thing coming!Brilliant, but Lazy: Look, I *always* know who the culprit is during cases because I can pick up on their lies easily. It's more fun to draw out the case and see how things turn out! Plus, it's not like anyone else would believe me if I told them who the culprit is from the start.The Bully: Aww, you're so MEAN! Well, I like to mess withShuichifor being my #1 rival,Kee-boyfor being a robot that cannot feel human emotions at all, andMiufor being a filthy cum dumpster!Bullying a Dragon: I guess it's not a good idea to constantly berate someone known as the \"Ultimate Assassin\", huh? Especially since she almost killed me personally in Chapter 5...Butt-Monkey: The amount of stuff that happens to me throughout the game is JUST not cool.Card-Carrying Villain: I'm the \"Ultimate Supreme Leader\"! It's pretty much my JOB to be as evil and manipulative as possible! And I make no attempts to hide this from anyone!Catchphrase: \"It's a lie!\" \"I'm a liar after all!\" \"That's a lie!\" Nee-heehee pretty much any statement with the word \"lie\" in it.Cheshire Cat Grin: Nee-heehee, I do have some pretty creepy grins, don't I?This one\u25cain particular is one of my favorites...The Chessmaster: Nee-heehee you flatter me! Of course, being an evil mastermind, coming up with plans is just a hobby for me!Consummate Liar: Ooh yes! My character defining trait! If I had a second Ultimate talent, it would definitely be the \"Ultimate Consummate Liar\" or maybe just the \"Ultimate Liar\". I love to lie to others to throw themselves off! But I also do it to myself...Contrasting Sequel Antagonist: I'm often considered this to that white-haired psycho who was the \"antagonistic rival\" of his game. However, while he tried to kill all of his friends at the end, I tried to save mine! Not to mention I am against killing. This is no lie, nee-heehee...Crocodile Tears: When you're a masterful liar like I am, you have to make it seem you're moved to tears by something. Of course, the others don't fall for it (except Gonta of course).Cruel and Unusual Death: Nee-heehee! You think Komaeda's death was gruesome? Well, I was shot by *two* poisoned arrows courtesy of Maki and was slowly dying to death. Then, after discussing my plan with Kaito, I allowed myself to be killed by a hydraulic press!While I was still alive!My blood splattered everywhere it was such a gruesome sight! A fitting end for someone like me...Cruel to Be Kind: As I've said above, I just hate it when people lie. Himiko tried to make it seem like she was unaffected by Tenko and Angie's death so, I had to push her true feelings out. Also, I said this gem to Maki when she was all hell-bent on killing. Once a killer, always a killer.Me:\"But a-anyway... why are you... starting up the k-killing game...when it should've ended?Y-You already... know it's all meaningless... and th-that I'm the mastermind... Do you... love killing that much?\"Dead All Along: Yep! During Chapter 5! The unlucky fool who was crushed under a hydraulic press wearing Kaito's jacket was me! Took Shuichi and the others long enough to figure that out even though I didn't want them too.Death Equals Redemption: Really? I guess not giving Kaito the only antidote to that poison and allowing him (who was clearly dying himself) to kill me in place of the poison would've made Maki the blackened.Elaborate Underground Base: Of course my Ultimate Lab had to open up right after my death! It looked SOOOOOO cool too!!!Establishing Character Moment: Nee-heehee! When you first see me, I was harassing Kee-boy because he was a real-lifesuperfighting robot with access to many weapons and gadgets!!! That's a lie! He's a robot but nothing else special. It's also the first time you see me lie!Even Evil Has Loved Ones: ...Well, yeah. I mean, if you DID beat the game before viewing my page, then you could tell that I did care for my organization DICE. We're all about playing pranks on others and not resorting to killing.Even Evil Has Standards: I may be a masterful manipulator who loves to mess with others, but... I HATE the killing game and killing in general. Those people in the outside world are SICK FUCKS for enjoying it!Also, Kiyo'srelationship and obsession with his sister... eww, eww, ewww!!!Face of an Angel, Mind of a Demon: Awww... I look cute on the outside despite being a masterful manipulator on the inside? Thanks! I mean it!Faux Affably Evil: Nee-heehee! I actually invoke this trope. I purposely act like a cheerful child on the outside and aManipulative Bastardon the inside, but it's mainly to throw off others and the mastermind as I just KNEW one us was them. And what a coinkydink! I was right!The Friend Nobody Likes: I'll admit, my constant lying toward others and manipulating them hasn't really gotten anyone to like me. I'm so sad...why do they hate me for being me? WAHHHH!!!Gone Horribly Right: Wow! Everyone really believed that I was the mastermind just because I said so! Things were actually going well until Ms. Ultimate Assassin decided to go and try and kill me just for kidnapping her boyfriend!Good All Along: Am I really? Sure, I did want to end the killing game, but my actions did lead to Miu and Gonta's deaths in Chapter 4. Nee-heehee! I guess that's up to you to decide!Green-Eyed Monster: What!? I'm not jealous of that big dumb idiot Kaito who is always able to win over everyone else with his dumb inspirational speeches andNice Guyattitude! I'm not jealous at all!The Heavy: While the mastermind hides in the shadows, I make sure to give everyone else a push for most of the killings!Hypocrisy Nod: You're going to keep bringing this up, huh? Yes, I hate murdering people but my actions indirectly led Gonta and Miu to their deaths. At least I made it up for it by having myself crushed to death while slowly dying from poison!I Did What I Had to Do: It's nothing personal, Miu, but you were a major threat and you had to be taken out! And I *had* to stick to my \"no-murder\" rule, which is why I let Gonta finish you off!Killing in Self-Defense: That ugly, smelly whore Miu tried to kill me in her simulation thingy, but luckily I was able to make Gonta get rid of her for me!Laughably Evil: Nee-heehee! I heard this is one of the main reasons why I'm so popular! Especially as my antics might remind you of two otherknowntricksters.Leaning on the Fourth Wall: I'd do anything to make the person I like notice me...even strangling them! Course, this is right after Miu's death in the virtual world.Living Lie Detector: Nee-heehee! I'm the master of telling lies! So, it's only natural I can pick up on people telling lies as well! It's actually how I knew who the culprit of each case was every time. But I get so PISSED when people lie to me!Loving Bully: Hey! Just because I love to bully people doesn't mean I don't like them! Shuichi is fun to mess with because of how serious he is. Kee-boy may be a dumb robot but he is at least loyal. Same with Gonta who was probably the only one I could call a friend.Manipulative Bastard: With howObviously EvilI am, people will think twice about trusting me. But they will soon fall into my hands eventually... as I am always in control of the Class Trials!Master of Unlocking: When you're the Ultimate Supreme Leader, it's only natural to know how to lockpick to break into places! My skills were even useful to the group for the second and third chapters even if it painted me as a suspect for both times! I am certainly better at lockpicking than somegeneric, trashy-looking woman who is totally not the main hero of her debut game!My God, What Have I Done?: ...Gonta... Miu... It's nothing personal...Nebulous Evil Organization: It's called D.I.C.E. We have thousands of members and have people hidden in most major organizations.We Are Everywhere... or perhaps we're nowhere, and don't even exist! Even the Ultimate Detective doesn't know, neeheehee!Never Speak Ill of the Dead: Why are you getting on me on this? Miu totally deserved to die, and she does this all the time anyway!Nightmare Face: Nee-heehee! I have sooooooo many of these I've lost count! A lot of you love to talk about the one in particular that inverts my colors, or the one that makes me look demonic!Older Than He Looks: That's a lie! I'm totally younger than I look! ...Nah, that's a lie too!O.O.C. Is Serious Business:When you see this sprite of me, I'm being dead serious for once\u25ca. When Kaede was about to be executed, I told her that she at least made the game not boring. And I meant that too...Only Sane Man: Nee-heehee! I'm insane, of course, but I always do what we should be doing in class trials! Idiots like Kaito are so hell-bent on not believing in the truth when it's very clear despite ignoring it will ensure our deaths! At least Shuichi knows when to put his profession before his friends!Pet the Dog: Look, I may be a massiveJerkassbut I am capable of kindness. Seriously.I basically told Himiko to just let out her true feelings instead of bottling them up. Like I said before, I hate when people tell lies to me.As I've already said, Kaede at least made the game not boring before her demise.I really did care for Gonta...or am I lying?Red Herring: My plan to make everyone believe that I was the Mastermind went off without a hitch! ...Until Maki decided to take matters into her own hands, which almost got me killed...The Rival: Much like the crazy albino is to that Hajime guy in his game, I serve as this to Shuichi in our game!Rivals Team Up: I became Shuichi's partner in Chapter 4 and it was FUN! Also, me and Kaito's plan to make an unsolvable murder in Chapter 5.Room Full of Crazy: After every case, I took pieces of important evidence and brought them to my room!Sanity Slippage: Nee-heehee! I totally lost it after Chapter 4 and decided to paint myself as the temporaryBig Bad! Even myNightmare Facegets even creepier! And it's all because I led Miu and Gonta to their deaths!Secret Test of Character: When everyone thought I planned to kill them with a bomb, I tested them to see if they would either sacrifice everyone else for their own safety or stay together to end the killing game. And lookey there! They choose the latter option as planned!Signature Laugh: Nee-heehee! I think it should've been obvious by now, dontcha think?Slut-Shaming: Seriously! Miu is indeed a trashy, filthy pig bitch, but those seem to *excite* her more for some reason!Smug Smiler: Awww... Smug, you say? Well, I can't help it when everything goes my way!Spanner in the Works: Looks like my plan to have everyone involved in Gonta's Insect Meet and Greet to view our motive videos actually provided them with solid alibis for Ryoma's death in the case. I'll admit, I didn't see that coming, but I already knew she was up to no good after running into the hall!Stepford Smiler: Nee-heehee! The killing game is sooooo fun that I can't help but smile every time a new murder happens!... It's a lie of course...Surrounded by Idiots: YES!!! Everyone is more concerned about turning on each other instead of trying to stop the killing game itself!Then Let Me Be Evil: Hmph! Everyone already hated me from the start and after seeing how fucked up the outside world is and Gonta's death on top of that, I stopped screwing around and decided to milk my villainy for what it's worth in Chapter 5. They wanted me to be evil? Then they GOT IT!!!Tiny Schoolboy: I don't mind. My small stature makes me hard to catch!Token Evil Teammate: Nee-heehee! I invoke this actually! I manipulate people, troll the ever-loving hell out of them, and even bully others - all for the pure fun of it! However, deep down, I'm not actually evil. At least I actually hate killing. KIYO on the other hand fucking murders women for the sake of his dead sister who he is in *love* with! Now THAT'S gross!!!Trademark Favorite Food: Carbonated drinks! The best kind of drinks!Tritagonist: If it wasn't for that idiot Kaito and his murderous girlfriend Maki, I would've been the second most imporant character in the game! It's not fair!Troll: Nee-heehee...AHHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry about that, it's just that I LOOOOVE being this! Messing with everyone is just so fun! Definitely more fun than the killing game itself... My fake death scene in Chapter 3 is one of my most famous tricks! Especially since it was unintentional!Villain's Dying Grace: Well... I was screwed at the end of it anyway so it was only fair that I give Kaito the antidote to the poison and allowed him to crush me to death in the hydraulic press. It was either he be the blackened or Maki, and Kaito was already a dead-man walking...Well-Intentioned Extremist: I hate repeating myself, but yes. My actions in Chapter 5 were to end the killing game so no-one else has to die. Too bad Maki had to go and screw things up...What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Kee-boy is just a robot! With no dick!"}
{"text": "Beauty *and* brains? Why, it's just not fair!(This page is best read in the voice ofHaruka Ishida(Japanese) orWendee Lee(English) to get the full experience).Describe Miu Iruma, the gorgeous girl genius here, ya virgin!Cucks, fucks, and those who suck, you're reading the world's sexiest autobiography on \"TV Gropes,\" written by the one, the only, the legendary Ultimate Inventor herself - Miu Iruma! And I ain't sparing a single sordid detail!I make all kinds of gadgets, but the ones worth talking about are my \"While Lying Down\" toys - ones that let you type while you sleep, read while you sleep... even ones that let you eat while you sleep. I was inspired after seeing how much time people waste on sleep.But if you wanna get a bit more personal, I'm an augmented human. Back in the day, I used to be a boring, unremarkable girl with no talent at all. Then, one day, I got into an accident and ended up in a coma. It was real life-and-death type shit. Anyway, I had surgery and barely managed to regain consciousness after that. Since then, I've been chock-full of ideas for inventions! And I had the brains, skills, and physical talent to make those inventions a reality! Now the world can't live without me, my genius, or my smokin' hot body, simple as that! Hyah-hahaha!SoCockichi's got his own page, too!? Tch, him and his fuckin' lies... that grape goblin should just go sit in the corner and play with himself!(Heads up, A-cup! There are gonna be unmarked spoilers after this, so you'd better fuck off if you wanna enjoy the game the long and hard way! And yes, that is what she said!)Ah-haha! I dunno what the deal is with these \"TV Gropes\", but here are some of mine!Agent Scully: Man, fuck Angie and her Atua crap! It's all just a load of unscientific bullshit! Besides, if there really was a god, he'd clearly pick me, the gorgeous girl genius, as his chosen one instead of that kooky ditch bitch! Also, fuck Himiko and her magic crap too! That titless 'tard really wants people to believe her shitty parlor tricks are anything but a scam!Though, I do wonder what would happen if I participated in Angie's \"divine rituals\"...Anime Hair: Everyone knows virgins like you jack off to girls with tentacles like these!* Because You Were Nice to MeBig-Breast Pride: Duh-doy! These puppies are the envy of every girl in the academy! ... though that \"Suck-ra\" bitch has got me beat in the physique department. Urgh... if I'm not the best in the world for my bomb-ass physique, why even keep on living...Brains and Bondage: Wh-what? Y-you couldn't tell that from me being the Ultimate Inventor and from the leather straps all over my body? ...Clean the shit outta your eyes!Brown Note: I once made some hot pink lights that, when you stare at 'em long enough while they're flickering, make you start feelin' really good. And then... kersploosh! I wanted to decorate the shit outta the dorms of Hope's Peen Academy with these lights as a present for the lonely bastards who got no one to spend the holidays with, but Kaediot talked me out of it.Brutal Honesty: Hey, I'm just sayin' what I'm already thinkin'! Nothin' I say is wasted words!Casual Kink: Fine, let me jerk that limpdick brain of yours for you... I'm a practitioner of BDSM, as you should tell by my leather straps, choker, and rubber barbed wire collars. I'm into things like bondage and wax play, and Ireallyenjoy it when people talk shit to me. In addition to that, I have a thing for machines, which is why I enjoy giving Keebo a VERY thorough maintenance, and I am not shy about how much I like to rub one out.Character Tics:U-umm... Oh, this? It's just something that I do when I get... nervous...Childhood Friend Romance: You'd think my fantasy would be somethin' super kinky and shit, right? ...W-well... my fantasy is actually really vanilla. It's just me havin' a childhood friend and... fallin' in love with him...and it makes me feel a little less lonely...* Comically Missing the Point: Huh?! Wh-what do you mean, I can't take almost every comment as something sexual?!Cruel and Unusual Death: I got strangled to death by that dumb fuck Gonta, in the Virtual World, no less. Just when I was about to kill Kokichi and escape the Killing Game, too. How could he fall for that little shit's bull and kill me, of all people?! Was there some kind of error in my program, or Gonta's tiny ass walnut brain?!Didn't See That Coming: Again, I had Cockichi cornered on the roof in the Virtual World! How the fuck was I supposed to know that Tarzan was in cahoots with him the entire time?!Everyone Has Standards:That whole crazy-ass deal withKorekiyoandhis sisterwas a massive turnoff. That's not sexy, that's just fuckin' gross! *hhrrrk!* Oh God, I just threw up in my mouth thinking about it! There's adamngoodreasonwhy incest hentai shouldremainon paper!Also... that masochistic freak Slowko, she... takes things further than me. Her fantasies about being Byakuya's doormat are enough to make me uncomfortable... andshe'sgot a lotta ass to say thatI get off on freakier shit than that!Friendless Background: H-Hey! It's not like I don't have any friends! I just don't talk to plebs like you, is all!The Friend Nobody Likes: Despite my golden brain, my big tits, and my sexy personality, nobody likes me very much...Gadgeteer Genius: Duh-doy! I'm not the Ultimate Inventor for nothing, dick cheese! Hell, you could tie me up and drip hot wax on me, and I'd still invent something groundbreaking!* Hates Being Alone:* Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?:* Hidden Depths: ...Okay, sorry. C-can we just talk? Th-this is... where I really... open up.** I... I think I act so loud and obsessed with sex because... I'm very loney. M-m-my... my fantasy is... much more vanilla than you might expect, as it's just me havin' a childhood friend and... fallin' for him... because he's stayed by my side no matter what. And, if he did not come into my life, I would prolly be in a gutter or somethin'...** Ehehe. Being Monotaro's mom is actually really cute.** After fallin' for Shuichi, I wanted to show him how versatile I am, so I made him a pie, some cookies, and chocolates! Now that I think of it, they even looked very professional, so I guess that also makes me a master chef! I also added in some hidden ingredients; I made that pie with my hair, those cookies with my fingernails, and those chocolates with my blood, because... w-well, I just want the person I like to eat me...** U-umm... I know I may act all kinky, but... I prefer that I be taken out on a date before hittin' the sheets...Hoist by His Own Petard:H-How the fuck was I supposed to know virtual toilet paper would be the end of gorgeous me?! Don't make me remember that, you fucktards!Though, on another note, I have an invention that punches you for telling terrible dirty jokes. When I showed it to Poo-ichi, he complained about its name, so I told him that sometimes I'm too lazy to think of names. I am constantly crankin' out new inventions, so he shouldn't expect me to name 'em all. I mean, I don't expect him to name each of his little dudes after he blasts 'em into a tissue, either. And then, when I said that, my own invention punched me. Still though... that was a good punch...* I Just Want to Be Loved:The Immodest Orgasm: Oh my... I had a huge one while everyone was discussing Cunt Fu's death!B-but... no one said anything about it...Implausible Deniability: Wh-wh-what the what!?!? A-are you tryn' to say that I fell for Shuichi because he stopped me from cuttin' myself open and was worried about me afterwards!? H-he said it first... Shuichi said he's worried about me... cuz he's in love with me...Innocently Insensitive: I... I don't understand. Sometimes I try to lighten the mood a little by making a joke, but... everyone gets mad at me all of a sudden... wh-what did I do?Insufferable Genius: Hey! It's only natural to treat the uggos around you like idiots when you've got a superior brain like mine!* Insult Backfire:Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Y-you really think that I'm an asshole because I give my classmates nicknames and make fun of virgins like you? Oh, cheer the fuck up! I've actually got a heart of gold that goes along with my golden brain!N-not that anyone can see past my act and know the real me... except Keebo. Or maybe Poo-ichi..* Laborious Laziness:Lady Swears-a-Lot: Ifthis videodoesn't convince you mushheads, I don't know what fuckin' will.Loveable Sex Maniac: Hehehe, if you can't tell from my leather straps, I just love spoutin' out all kinds of lewd shit! If not even that is enough (and I think you're a virgin of a completely different level, in that case), then maybeTHIS (warning: NSFW) should be enough to make it clear\u25ca!Though, I... I prefer that I go on a date with the person I like before I get it on...Magnum Opus Dissonance: My \"While Lying Down\" series lets people be productive to make up for the time they wasted on sleep. Though, I once made these stupid eyedrop contact lenses as a gag. It doesn't make anyone productive while they sleep, so I deemed it a failure, signed the patent rights to some company, and never looked back. Kaediot told me that some of her friends wear those, but those friends sound like a bunch of fuckin' plebs for thinkin' that's useful!* Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy:Meaningful Name: The kanji used to spell my first name is \u7f8e\u514e, which means \"beautiful rabbit\", as is fitting for the gorgeous girl genius! Rabbits are famous forhaving lots of sex and making lots of offspring, and this is the perfect metaphor for me and my dirty jokes (my two locks of hair even look like a pair of rabbit ears, now that I think of it...). The kanji for my last name, \u5165\u9593, means \"enter a space\".And yes, it is also talkin' about enterin' THAT space! The first kanji of my last name, \u5165, can be used to spell \"hairu\" (\u5165\u308b), which can mean \"to enter\" (hee hee hee!) but also \"to start functioning\", which fits with mytalent as the Ultimate Inventor!The Nicknamer: Hmm... let me see if my golden brain can remember some of those names I called these mushheads...There's \"Kaediot\" and \"Guy-a-Day\" for Kaede......\"Poo-ichi\", \"Mumbles\", \"Sherlock Homo\", and Kaediot's \"beta boytoy\" for Shuichi......\"Titless\" and some variations of \"Donkey-Lips\" for Himiko......\"Miss Andry\", \"Cunt Fu\", and \"Tencrotch\" for Tenko......\"Cockichi\" for Kokichi......\"Bobblehead\" and \"kooky bitch\" for Angie......\"Creepshow\" for Kiyo......\"Tarzan\" for Gonta...... and \"Plain Jane\" and \"Four-Eyes\" for Tsumugi.There's also \"Slowko,\" \"mopey masochist mophead,\" and \"Broke-ko\" for Toko......\"Fuckface\" and \"Bigcockohyeah\" for Byakuya......\"Dogfucker\" for Gundham......all sorts of pig-related names like \"Pig-face\" for Teruteru......\"Nasty warthog,\" \"Christmas ham,\" and \"sad-lookin' sow\" for Mikan......\"Winnie the Piece of Shit\" for Monokuma......\"Hard head\" for Kiyotaka......\"Hell on Wheels\" for Mondo......\"Banana gremlin\" for Hiyoko......\"Smooth brain\" for Akane......\"Vermin\" and \"farts and crafts kid\" for Jataro......\"Pinkie\" for Kotoko...... and \"Cherry boy,\" \"grease-monkey,\" and \"Miu wannabe\" for Kazuichi.No Social Skills: What do you mean, I can't just blurt out whatever sordid thought crosses my mind?!Only Friend: Umm... K-Keebo is the only classmate I can call a friend...perhaps I can also count Kaediot and Poo-ichi as friends? I don't know if they feel the same, though...Overworked Sleep: I... tend to do this whenever I am workin' on my inventions. Those cameras I made for Kaediot and Poo-ichi, I... pulled an all-nighter makin' them, and afterwards, just sorta... passed out...* Paper Tiger:Pink Means Feminine:Fuck that!I may wear pink, but if I started acting all girly and shit nobody'd be around to lighten the mood with filthy jokes!* Please, Don't Leave Me:Punny Name: This is coincidental, but my last name, Iruma, sounds a lot likeirrumatio, a sex act in which you fuck someone's face!Reluctant Fanservice Girl: Hm? O-oh... u-uh... well... when Gonta approached me, I, uh... had to use... my secret woman weapon on him... A-and let's just leave it at that...Robosexual: Hell yeah! I love giving Keebo a VERY thorough maintenance, if you know what I mean.Shameless Fanservice Girl: Boo-yah! I'm the gorgeous girl genius, so of course I'd have the perfect body for fanservice!Shipper on Deck: I once saw Kaediot and her beta boy toy walking together, so I told them to take a trip to the warehouse to get some rubbers if they decide to get it on! I thought it would lighten the mood, b-but... they did not find my joke funny...Slut-Shaming: Ergh! Slut!? ...what? I-it's not like I secretly enjoy it when people talk shit to me. This is actually one of my kinks!Sweet Baker: I... umm... after falling in love with Shuichi, I decided to bake him a pie, some cookies, and chocolates. I added some hidden ingredients into those sweets; that pie has my hair in it, those cookies have my fingernails, and my chocolates have my blood mixed in, because... I just want the person I like to eat me.Too Kinky to Torture: Like I said, I have a masochism kink. I'm into wax play and I really like it when people talk shit to me, as the banana gremlin apparently found out the hard way.Though, I'm nothin' like that mopey masochist mophead Broke-ko. She takes things further than me.Undignified Death: Fuckin' really?! You're gonna bring up that toilet paper shit again?!Virgin-Shaming: Heh! It's obvious you're a virgin if all you do is whack it to my pictures and generally daydream about bein' with a girl with a hot bod like me! Though, I may not look like it cuz my tits are so big, but I've actually got a soft spot for virgins, so keep at it!Vulgar Humor: I'm a never-ending supply of dirty jokes. They just keep on gushing out and out and out!Wrench Wench: Well, it comes with being the Ultimate Inventor. I need some mechanical know-how to make a lot of my inventions, especially when I perform maintenance on Keebo.Wh-What...? D-Don't... leave just yet. I just...wanted to show this article to you... You... really liked reading this? That makes me happy. My article is... Hyah-hahaha! My article is awesome, without even sayin' it! But even geniuses like to be praised! You seem to understand that pretty well! Y'know, I'm glad you took the time to read this. Feel free to think of me during your next tug session!"}
{"text": "I mean, um\u2014Hi! I'm Monika, high school devil and president of theLiterature Club! I used to be in the Debate Club, but all the politics and stuff was too much for me, so I left to start my own club.Then I had an epiphany...Um, right, so... you seem awfully similar to avery special personthat was in my club... let's say it's my ex-boyfriend. I heard... he... wasspending a lot of time on this website, so I figured I'd set up my own page here, and we would finally be able to see each other again.That wouldn't happen to be you, right? Are you... uh, my ex? ...S-Sorry, it's just that there arecertain thingsI really shouldn't talk about unless it's with him...not like that! Okay, I think I can... like... do this like I did back in the club. So... you've played my game, right?YesYay! It's good to see you again~! Did you miss me? I know I've been missing you a lot... I'm really sorry about all that preamble, by the way\u2014uh, I just had to make sure you were reallyyou...and, you know, I can't be too direct about it, even if a lot of peopleknow about me already... it was all a very special experience, and there might still be someone waiting to meet me... so thanks for playing along with that for a bit. You're the sweetest~But anyway, I supposethere's nothing to spoil anymore, so we can get back to the topic at hand... er, that's me of course. And the epiphany... well, I really don't remember how it happened exactly, but I figured out that my life was all a video game. I wasn't ready to just up and break the fourth wall though... I was worried you might not be happy with me if I did that. Especially since you were acting as Sayori's childhood friend\u2014Oh my god, I just realized I haven't mentioned them at all! Well, um, I guess I don't really need to... but still, if you want to know about Yuri, Natsuki, Sayori, or Sayori's friend, I think TV Tropes hasa page for thatsomewhere......Okay, fine, I'll stop...s-stalling... so I was really kind of a sociopath for a while there, under the mindset that the other club members weren't even human, and like... I wanted to get alone with you so I could ease you into my secret, but since you were playing as Sayori's friend, it just wasn't going to happen. I figured I could try to make Sayori less appealing to you, and that might help. I tried to modify her character file, but... uh, it...I-I'm not very good at editing the game.So I decided to just delete her... uh, I was getting increasingly desperate at this point, and it's all sort of a haze... I don't think we need to go over all this again. Skipping ahead a bit, I eventually decided to just delete as much of the game as I could in order to trap you in a room with me. So much for subtlety... but, um, hopefully you took issue with how I was acting, and you decided to delete my character file so I couldrealize I was wrong...I mean, if you didn't delete my character file, then I'm still sitting there, presumably. And, um, you should really go delete me right now! You should go open the game, find my character file in the game directory, and delete it, right now. It's okay. I'll be okay afterwards, I promise. In my last moments I'll decide to restore the entire game except for myself, but it won't really work out the way I want it to, so I'll step in one more time and pull the plug on the game entirely... it's for your sake, okay? If there was a happier ending, I would've done it...On the bright side,you got to hear me sing! Yeah... I got a little cheeky and decided to play my song right over the end credits, ahaha. I may have been inspired bya certain robot... Oh, that reminds me! Youhavebeen reading this page in the voice of my actress, Jillian Ashcraft, right? Though, if not, that's okay too! I don't use my real voice much, so a lot of people like to make up their own voice for me when reading my dialogue. I think that's really sweet of them to do~Speaking of that, I guess some peopledon't think my story ends there. That's alsoverysweet of them. I never expected to be given a happy ending like that... but I think anyone can write a good story if they put their mind to it, and I'm really down to be in any story you want to write about me! Though, do make sure that I'm stillme, alright~? Even if I'm the villain in your story... I don't mind, as long as it's close enough to how I am, you know? But with that being said...Okay, everyone! It's time to share tropes!No...Well, this is awkward. Of course, it's your fault for coming here without playing the game.Don't worry, I won't ruin it for you. You can play it for free on Steamhere, on itch.iohere, or on the game's websitehere. There's also a plus version of the game that you can buyhere. But, um... if you do decide to play it, please don't get a little too attached to any of us, okay? I-I guess that's a weird thing to say, but...um...you'll understand. A-And please don't hate me too much. We all make mistakes, you know?Actually, now that I think about it... you've played the game, haven't you? I bet you just wanted to see what was under here. Well... I guess I can't blame you for that, ahaha~Some tropes that apply to me:GameAffably Evil: Wait, hold on! I-I'm not evil! What are you trying to say?Alas, Poor Villain: I'm not a villain! I mean... I restored the game, didn't I? And you felt bad for me!The Atoner: ...Look, I think we may have started these tropes off on the wrong foot. This is not exactly my favorite subject, if you can imagine.Badass Adorable: You really think so? Well...I'm not going to argue.The Bad Guy Wins: Yes, it is entirely possible to leave the game open after I've gotten everything I wanted... but you shouldn't do that. I...need to know that I was a bad person for doing that, you know?Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Well, I wouldn't hurt myself.Big Bad: Yes, I may be the cause of almost every problem in the game, but...Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: B...\"Bitch\"? You can't be serious! ...Okay it's the trope's name but still!Brainy Brunette: I do have brownish hair, and I did start my Literature Club. But that's not why you're calling me \"brainy\", is it?Breaking the Fourth Wall: Well, I've been doing it this whole time. I mean, I never wanted to break it, at first\u2014Do you think it could have worked out? Maybe, maybe if I had a route...But Thou Must!: You didn't even get a choice to join the club...I'm sorry.Catchphrase: Catch phrase? I-I don't have a catch phrase!note\"Okay, everyone!\"Character Blog: You can check outmy Twitterif you'd like.Character Song: I worked really, really hard on it.Cosmic Plaything: Much as I hate to admit it. I mean, I can't get through this screen to show you how cool you really are. And that... kind of hurts, honestly.Coy, Girlish Flirt Pose: I do it all the time. It's even pictured on the trope page, if you want to look at me...and I hope you do~Creative Sterility: I-I love you! That's not...\"sterility\"...Declarative Finger: Of course! It makes me look really confident, you know?Deuteragonist: I really wish I was the deuteragonist of anormalgame, but I suppose you could say I'm the deuteragonist of this one...Driven to Suicide: Well, if you hadn't shown up, I most certainly would have.Dull Surprise: Let's just say I wasn't entirely surprised when I saw Yuri's corpse.Elegant Classical Musician: M-Musician? Come on, don't overstate it. I'm still practicing!Even Evil Has Loved Ones: You know I couldn't bring myself to murder my friends...but I'm not evil! Stop saying that!Evil Vegetarian: I quit eating meat to reduce the carbon footprint.Evil Wears Black: ...Wait, my socks? Are you sure you're not reading too far into things? Ahaha...Fantastically Indifferent: Well, I don't really bat an eye at the weird things happening. I'm not saying those thingsweren'tsurprising. But I have to keep up appearances, you know?Finger-Tenting: Oh, yes! I do this in Act 3, and, oh, you're probably picturing me doing it right now, aren't you? Of course you are~The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: ...because I love you!Giggling Villain: Hahaha~Go Mad from the Isolation: Isolated? No...I have you.Heel\u2013Face Turn: Well...I suppose you could say that.Held Gaze: Once again, I do this in Act 3.Hidden Depths: Well, of course! I'm a well-rounded, three-dimensional person just like you!Hopeless with Tech: Look, I'm still new to all this. It's not my fault the stakes were so high...Hostile Show Takeover: Basically what I did to create Act 3. Although I wouldn't exactly say \"hostile\".Inexplicably Awesome: If you want to knowwhybeing Club President makes me aware that I'm in a video game... I have no idea.Interface Spoiler: I broke the fourth wall a lot while writing the information on the game's download page. Things would've been a lot less awkwardif you had noticed this.I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: After you deleted my file. Also, um, while it'suncomfortablewhen you turn off the game, I knew you couldn't keep the game open all the time during Act 3, so I allowed you to close it then. As long as you came back for me, of course~Karmic Death: I deleted their character files, and you deleted mine.Lack of Empathy: I didn't think about how you may have been attached to Sayori, Yuri, or Natsuki, since I only saw them as meaningless characters with autonomous personalities at the time.Lawful Pushover: Admittedly, I'm no good at breaking up fights. There's a reason I had Sayori as Club Vice President.Leitmotif: The piano.Lonely Piano Piece: Pretty much what \"Your Reality\" is.Love Makes You Evil: I love you. Everything I did...it was because of that.Magnificent Bitch: Um... is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?Mercy Kill: There is no happiness in the Literature Club. That's why I had to delete it.Mind Rape: Yes, I altered the other girls' personalities to exaggerate their worst traits. I mean, it didn't really...work out the way I wanted it to...Moment Killer: W-Well...jealousy can do that to people. I'm sorry.Moral Myopia: At first, I just figured my friends weren't real, so it didn't matter what I did to them.Murder Is the Best Solution: Well, it's really not a good solution. I would have avoided it if I knew how, but like I've said, editing the game is not my specialty.Must Have Caffeine: I really wish Yuri would make coffee once in a while. And if you get to drink coffee in the real world, then that makes me a little jealous~My God, What Have I Done?: After you deleted me...* The NarcissistNaytheist: Well, I used to question the idea of God. But, you know, after my epiphany... if there is a God, he must be using the world as his plaything.Nice Girl: Oh, thank you!Non-Standard Character Design: Unlike the others, I was looking directly at you the whole time.Not Love Interest: Yeah...even though I tried to force it.Not Quite Dead: After you deleted me, Sayori tried to claim you for herself in the bad ending. But I stopped her. I mean, there was enough suffering in that place. No need for any more.Not So Stoic: I'm usually calm, but I, um, have my moments.Only Sane Man: Or so I thought. But still, my friends really were a bit...um, unaware of their own situation.The Philosopher: Well, um, I'm like this during Act 3, I suppose.Pungeon Master: Okay, look, any \"puns\" about Sayori and the word \"hang\" were completely unintentional, I swear!Realistic Diction Is Unrealistic: Were you expecting a perfect performance when I sang? Come on... I'm still learning, you know?Reality Warper: I did have some powers. Mainly editing the game script, and changing my friends around... or just deleting them. It was surprising how easy deleting them was, really. But, um, I'm not very good at editing them...Screw Destiny: I tried really hard to free myself from being a route-less side character...and, um, technically succeeded.Shipper on Deck: In the beginning, I teased you for writing poems tailored to one of the other girls...I shouldn't have tried to take them away from you. I'm so sorry.Signature Laugh: Ahaha!~Suddenly Voiced: Only during the credits. I really wasn't ready yet, even then. But hey, you liked my singing, right?Unperson: My friends didn't know who I was after you deleted me. Well, until Sayori revealed that she did, but um, that didn't last very long, anyway...Villain's Dying Grace: After you deleted me, I accepted my fate and restored the entire game without myself.With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: More or less how my \"epiphany\" went.Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Most people feel bad for me, and...um, yeah, I literally destroyed my game...but I restored it later!World of Technicolor Hair: My friends all have unnatural hair colors, but I do not.Yandere: Okay, I amnota yandere! If there's anyone in this game like that, it's definitely Yuri. Besides, you know how important you are to me!noteBlatant Lies...W-Wait! I-I would never...TwitterBirthday Episode:Just a cake emoji.* Character BlogFunny Background Event: Apparently my friends decided to hide in the bushes when I took my Valentine's Day picture.Hidden Buxom: H-Hey, that's a bit...! I mean... okay, the school uniforms are a bit tight, and nobody got to see me out-of-uniform until I posted a picture... soI guessI qualify for this trope.Jerkass: I used to have some tweets mocking my friends... but, um, I kind of felt bad about it, so I deleted them.Kindhearted Cat Lover:Well, who doesn't love cats?Ms. Fanservice: What, my dress? Well, if you say so, ahaha~Slumber Party:With Yuri.Although I had to pretend it was a study night.* Sleep Cute: Again, with Yuri.Valentine's Day Episode: Of course! After all, it's my favorite holiday. I couldn't resist taking avery special picture! Oh, andmyfriendshelpedtoo.I love you."}
{"text": "Let me be your stepping stone towards your hope.(This page is best read in the voice ofMegumi Ogata(Japanese) orBryce Papenbrook(English) to get the full experience)(As you reach this page you suddenly black out and collapse on the ground. When you wake,a young man in a green hoodie with white hair is standing over you)Hey...Can you hear me...?Are you okay?...you seem pretty out of it....Hey, are you listening?Here, give me your hand. Lemme help you up.(You are helped to your feet by this mysterious stranger).Nice to meet you. I'm Nagito Komaeda.Huh? You already know who I am. That's right. You're right. I'm from Hope's Peak Academy, Class 77-B. Er, that's the class I graduated with, not that there's 77 years at the academy. Just a little joke.By any chance, are you from Hope's Peak Academy as well. What? You can't remember? You know you wanted to meet me, but after clicking on my page you can't remember anything about me?I wonder...is meeting you here bad luck or good luck? Ah, I should probably point out, as with every student in the main course at Hope's Peak Academy, I'm the Ultimate Lucky Student\u2014Super High School Level Good Luck if you prefer the Japanese translation. I got into the academy because of my good luck. But, that's enough from me. I mean, I'm not a very important person.Huh? You say that's not true. I'm actually a really important character tothe franchise I'm from? Ohhhhh, that the day would come that someone like me is actually looked up to and revered. I guess I really am lucky after all.I know! Why don't I detail everything about me for you? Maybe it'll jog more of your memory about Hope's Peak Academy. If coming here was your reason for being here, then I'm sure talking will help you out. Better yet, I'll be your hope toovercoming the despair that is TVTropes. Even someone as pathetic and worthless as me can help you overcome such a minuscule amount of despair. And no matter how much despair my page fills you with, I promise that if you stay to the end, you'll be filled with hope. After all, isn't hope just wonderful?Now, where do I begin? I guess I should start at the beginning. No, notthat beginning. I'm talking aboutmy beginning. It's a little story about hope that ends in despair. See, when I first started attending Hope's Peak Academy, my teacher, Chisa Yukizome, gathered us all as a class into one big bundle of hope. Our class representative, Chiaki, was the glue that kept us together. Unfortunately, as much as we were a hopeful bunch of students, bad things started to happen around us even if we didn't realize it was affecting us at the time.For starters, there was Fuyuhiko's sister, Natsumi. Despite being anormal, reserve course studentshe had a great impact on what was to come. See, because she got murdered by another reserve course student, who was, in turn, murdered by my classmate Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, the Ultimate Yakuza, no one was in high spirits to complete their practical exams for the coming year. Being such a genuinely caring student, I didn't want to see my classmates dragged down by despair and perform poorly on their exams. After all, if they could overcome the despair of Natsumi's death, then their hope would shine extremely brightly. And I wanted to see that. So, I consulted my teacher and asked her politely to postpone the exams. Unfortunately, she couldn't do that. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands.Originally, I had planned to feed laxative laced coffee to the judges, which would require them to leave the auditorium that the exams were being held in. This would suspend the exams and everyone would leave the building, leaving me free to blow it up with some homemade explosives I rigged to the entire infrastructure. I mean, if there's no building to hold the exams in,the exams can't be held, right?Huh? That type of action would make me a terrorist? That's fine. I don't care one lick about my own reputation, so long as my classmates, who are much better than myself, can shine on brightly with delightful hope. Hahahahahaha!But, like I said, that was my original plan. Things...didn't go that way in the end. What actually happened was that I mixed up my laxative when I was retrieving it from the school chem lab with a special drug that's supposed to enhance the body tremendously. I only noticed that though after I spilled some of the coffee I was holding and a dog drank it off the ground and became gigantic.No, seriously. That actually happened. I also got my bag switched with the school's Ultimate Pharmacist so she had my bag with the detonator in it. And then the giant dog broke into the building and the bombs got set off. I'm sure a lot of people were hurt, but at least the incident suspended the exams. That's good, right? Huh? I sound like a sociopath that doesn't care about the loss of innocent lives? Awwww, I'm sure they made it out okay. I mean, if someone had actually died, I wouldn't havejustgotten suspended, right? My actions would've been prosecutable by law. So, it's a little property damage, it's no big deal. I mean, I did come back to school eventually.Of course, a lot of bad things happened in my absence, like the student council all being brutally murdered for example andJunko Enoshimaplotting world destruction. I tried to stop her, came within seconds of shooting her dead. But, of course, I hesitated, thinking she wouldn't make a great stepping stone of despair if someone like me could just shoot her. Of course, if I had, we wouldn't have a franchise nor would you and I be having this wonderful conversation.My hesitation nearly cost me my life as some guy with long, black hair and red eyes showed up, stole my gun and shot me in the chest. Oh, don't worry. I'm fine. My student handbook was in my shirt pocket so I didn't sustain any injuries. Lucky me, right? Well, after I made it back to my classroom, my classmates and I all banded together to save our teacher. What we didn't know was that she had already been forcibly turned into a Despair due toJunko Enoshima'sbrainwashing. As a result, we were all herded into a room andForced to Watchas Junkobrutallymurderedthe symbol of our class' hope, our class representative Chiaki Nanami. This, combined with the subliminal messages she was showing us in the video we were watchingtraumatized us all, turning us into Junko's Remnants of Despair.From there, we worked together, as a class, just as we always had. However, instead of bringing hope to the world, we brought despair to it. And we helped caused the Biggest, Most Tragic, Most Awful Event In Human History, commonly just referred to as The Tragedy.We killed, destroyed, burned and attackedanything and everything all for the sake of despair. Of course, much unlike the others,I always felt that hope would win in the end, so no matter how much despair I inflicted, I knew that someone would eventually end it all.Turns out,I was right. Makoto Naegi, the Ultimate Lucky Student in the 78th class, managed to defeat and kill Junko Enoshima. Well...okay, technically Junko killed herself because Makotodefeated her according to the rules she had set for the killing game she was broadcasting to the entire world, but he's still the hero we all consider the Ultimate Hope. Having said that, at the time, my classmates and I took up arms in Junko's name, considering her a martyr. In fact, I actually had Junko's hand surgically attached in place of my left hand at one point. Huh? Oh, yeah, it's a robotic arm now. Hajime made it for me. More on that later.Where was I? Oh right, after Junko's death, as remnants of despair, our actions became far more aggressive...and sloppy. We started getting captured one by one by the Future Foundation, an organization dedicated to fighting the damage Junko and we all caused. I was one of the last few to be rounded up. Let's just say I wasindisposed at the time. I was helping a bunch of kids called the Warriors of Hope. I mean, they had to be good kids,they had the word hope in their group name. I got captured by them, but let them take me on as a servant. While pretending to be their servant/slave, I spent some time making sure that Makoto's sister, Komaru Naegi, made it to her battle of Hope and Despair, against the Warrior of Hope's leader, Monaca Towa. I...wasn't happy with the results. The end of that confrontation ended in neither hope nor despair.After giving Monaca a pep talk, I was then finally apprehended by the Future Foundtation. Makoto, being the wonderful messiah of hope that he is,brought us all to Jabberwock Island and put me and my class, and someone I had never met before named Izuru Kamakura, into something called the Neo World Program. He was certain we had all been brainwashed (we had) and wanted to turn us back to normal. The program was set to restore our minds to the day we all first attended Hope's Peak. We didn't know each other or even remember Miss Yukizome.Things...didn't go so well. Izuru brought a virus with him that he uploaded and caused Monokuma to appear, turning a program of hope into a massacre of despair. With our minds wiped of the last couple years, we had no idea of the situation we were thrust in and felt that we were actually still in the real world. When Monokuma told us we had to kill each other and the rules behind it, well...I decided to take matters into my own hands.I created a situation to try and kill one of my classmates, feeling as though I should be one of the first people to die. After all, I'm worthless, and the despair of mine and my victim's death would spur a great hope that wouldkeep any of my other classmates from falling into despair.But...my plan failed. My victim had night vision goggles and so when the blackout I caused in order to murder someone happened, well...let's just say even I couldn't have predicted what happened next. From there, I managed to survive all the way until the fifth trial, alienated by my peers, and even my closest friend, at the time, Hajime Hinata.Of course that friendship soured during the fourth trial. After all, as I managed to find outby playing a game of Russian Roulette, Hajime wasjusta reserve course student. Huh? You don't know about the Reserve Course? Basically, the school was low on funding so they started to hold entrance exams for people that could pay to get into Hope's Peak Academy and use the name. Talentless, worthless people like Hajime that are even lower than stepping stools like myself. Parasites that feed off of the talented.Oh, but I'm sure you're not among them. You're such a good listener. I bet your talent is the Ultimate Listener or something like that. Huh? Still can't remember your talent? Well, I'll keep talking then. Don't worry, I'm almost done.Well, after my relations with Hajime soured, I had also reached an awful epiphany: that my classmates and I were all remnants of despair. As a true believer of hope, I felt that despair should be eliminated. However, a traitor existed among us that was untainted. I wanted to draw them out. How did I accomplish this? I committed suicide...sort of. See, I orchestrated a scenario where I had brutally massacred my body with a knife while hanging a very deadly spear over my vital organs. I also set up a fire to happen once the door to the building I was in was opened. This was going to force my classmates to throw fire grenades to put out the fire. One of them was secretly holding a deadly poison, which, when I inhaled it, caused me to let go of the spear I was holding. One of those killed me. I'm not even sure Monokuma knew which one.Of course, I hadn't planned that Hajime would figure out the truth, or who the traitor was. I had hoped my death would stump those despairs and allow the traitor to be the sole survivor. I guess I really am worthless.Luckily, as a result of my plan failing, Hajime was able to remember something important. That he and Izuru Kamakura, the one that set this whole thing up,are the same person. Hajime is actually Izuru's former personality. Which meant Hajimedidhave talent all along, he just forgot about it.In the end, Hajime was able to destroy his own virus. Once he was back in the real world, he used his Ultimate Talents to recreate our avatars from scratch and relaunch the program after some debugging. So, even though we were at each others throats none of us actually died or were executed andour minds were completely restored before any of that took place. Isn't that wonderful? We spent 50 days together in virtual space and became just as close as we were from before our brainwashing. And then, once we were back as normal Ultimates,we saved the Future Foundation and the world from our then absent classmate, Ryota Mitarai. He was going to forcibly brainwash Hope across the entire world. Ordinarily that would be a wonderful thing, but Hope is best experienced by overcoming despair, not by forgetting that it ever existed. At least, that's what I believe.We took the blame for what happened to the Future Foundation, of course. I don't mind. I get to spend the rest of my days in hopeful bliss with my beloved classmates. In fact, I'm surprised you managed to find our hiding spot all the way out here. Don't tell anyone, okay? We're all supposed to be the bad guys.Hmm...? Oh yes, even while all this was happening, there wasanother world...One where Ultimate Despair never got off the ground, where my classmates and I graduated from Hope's Peakaliveand with hope in our hearts... AnAlternate Universewhere everyone was happier. But did it really happen...? Hmm, I guess I don't know if that world is a hopeful truth, or a beautiful lie. Oh, just forget I even mentioned it.And...that's everything significant that's happened to me across my history with Hope's Peak Academy. Do you remember anything? Huh? Nothing? Really? Well then, I guess I have no choice. I'll have to list a whole bunch of tropes about myself. If that doesn't jog your memory, I don't know what will.These are the tropes that will be a stepping stone of despair towards your future of hope!Aborted Declaration of Love: I have to admit, I do really like Hajime, especially after finding out he's not a worthless Reserve Course student. In fact, I'm so fond of him, I almost confessed to him at the end of our Free Time together, but...it probably just isn't meant to be.Another metried hinting it to him before we graduated, butHajimethought my intentions were mere friendship. Disappointing, but not unexpected.Accidental Truth: When I was inflicted with the Despair Disease in Chapter 3 of my debut game, even though I'm lying through my teeth, I actually let slip a few plot details that are actually true, like Byakuya still being alive and also musing that Ibuki has a twin, which comes up in the case that follows. Her murderer actually posed as her to make Hajime think she was still alive.Advertised Extra: InSide:Despairof theanime, I actually don't have quite as big of role as I do in mydebut game. But, the marketing made sure I was noticeable. Someone like me is good for something it seems. Besides, I don't deserve a large role to begin with. I'm fit for a bit part role to begin with anyway.Alas, Poor Villain: At first, everyone was mortified over the state of my body when I \"died\" in chapter 5. Of course, thatchangedonce they realized what I was up to.All-Loving Hero: I'm basically this trope taken with adark turn. I came across as genuinely creepy to my classmates, but I loved them and their talents so much. I'd do anything for any of them, more for whoever I think shows the most hope. I guess you could say that, until recently, I was often looked at as anEvil Counterpartto Makoto Naegi.Always Someone Better: Izuru and Makoto are both luckier than me.Ambiguously Gay: I'd hate to kiss and tell, so I won't.And Now for Someone Completely Different: I actually get to do a little investigating of my own in chapter 4. After all, Hajime couldn't get to Strawberry House, so Ihadto do a bunch of that investigatingforhim.Anime Hair: Aww, my hair doesn't lookthatweird, does it?Anti-Hero: Hey, come on. I'm just pursuing hope in any way andeveryway, I can. Is that so wrong?Arch-Enemy: I see Junko as this, even though she's dead. Getting crushed underneath a stone pillar tends to do that. I was also like this towards Hajime during some of the class trials.Artificial Limbs: My robot hand, since I needed a new hand after I replaced the old one with Junko's hand.Ax-Crazy: Not anymore, but the way I orchestrated my death in chapter five reeked of malice and crazy...well...to the average eye anyway. I had a plan and my life didn't matter so I was perfectly all right with mutilating my body to draw out the traitor.Badass Longcoat: It's pretty fashionable, don't you think?Badly Battered Babysitter: Taking care of the Warriors of Hope was difficult, if the cake and marker on my face were any indication.Bait the Dog: I guess I fooled all of the normal people in the world with myNice Guyact, huh?Battle Rapping: I'm nowhere near as skilled a battle rapper asEminemor the like, but I still gave it my allin a bout againstthat one Let's Player who always wears a mask. I gotta admit, me even standing a chance against a guy with that much clout only proves that hope will always win.Berserk Button: No matter what, I can't forgive someone if they kill out of despair.Black-and-White Insanity: No matter what you do in the name of hope, I feel it's acceptable because it gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling that hope provides. However, doing something to cause despairis unforgivable.Blessed with Suck: (sigh) My luck is usually preceded or followed by extremely bad luck. I guess you could say it works in cycles.Bound and Gagged: Nekomaru and Kazuichi did this to me, minus the gagged part. I also put tape over my mouth to muffle the screams of stabbing myself.Breaking the Fourth Wall: Aww, come on. I'm nowhere near as good at this asDeadpool. It's just one little instance inDanganronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girlsthat, I feel, is probably moreleaningthan anything else.Break Them by Talking: What are you talking about? Trash like me couldn't possibly influence others.Bullying a Dragon: A normal person wouldn't have antagonized Genocide Jack like I did...but if she killed me, then she'd be fulfilling her talent, so maybe I should die by her hands...Byronic Hero: What's so hard to understand about wanting hope to reign supreme by any means necessary. I think it's pretty straightforward.Can't Kill You, Still Need You: I made the offer to help anyone that wanted to kill their classmate so that they could get away alone. I'm willing to sacrifice my life at any time for my classmates. They're all so much better than me.The Chessmaster: Now, now, I'm noLelouch, but I'm not bad at this to start with.The Corpse Stops Here: I did this to Hajime to make sure that we could acquit him of suspicion so that we didn't have to waste any time on the issue of him possibly being the suspect since he was the first one to find the body.Consummate Liar: I became this due to the despair disease.Cosmic Plaything: All of my good luck is preceded by a catastrophe happening to me. For example, I got kidnapped once and found a winning lottery ticket during the incident. I also lost my parents, but I gained a massive inheritance as a result.In the end, sometimes I just wish I could die to be free of my curse. I don't even know if Hajime and the others are safe from me.Cruel and Unusual Death: My own, self-inflicted. Of course, I had already figured out what was going on so my sense of pain was incredibly dulled.Cynicism Catalyst: My luck has turned me into this, but it's also what gave me my love for hope since it's what keeps me going every day. I mean, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness and was supposed to die within months, but its been years and I'm still alive.Dark and Troubled Past: My parents are dead and I have frontotemporal dementia. I'm not exactly the most well-off guy in the world.Death Seeker: I had actually hoped to die on Jabberwock Island as a means of finally escaping my cycle of good luck and bad luck. However, with Hajime around, maybe his good luck will cancel out my bad luck. I'll just have to wait and see.Deconstruction: Everything you love about Makoto Naegi, I cast in a much darker light during my time on Jabberwock Island.Despair Event Horizon: I stopped being nice to everyone after I found out we had all become Ultimate Despairs.Detective Mole: Heh, I was so eager to help Hajime with the first case and insistent that none of us could've killed Byakuya, but I wasn't actually the killer. I just did that to help the real killer and see whetherhisor everyone else's hopes were stronger.Deuteragonist: Chiaki and I split this role for Hajime while at Jabberwok Island inside the Neo World Program. To think that someone as worthless as myself could be an example of this trope...!Devil's Advocate: Anything to make hope shine as brightly as it can.Didn't See That Coming: When Komaru tried abandoning the game I made for her, I tried to turn Toko against her by holding Byakuya hostage. Problem was, Genocide Jack refused to kill Komaru and attacked me instead, and laughed in my face when I tried togive her an ultimatum. Komaru didn't abandon her role in the end, which means the bad luck of my double knee wounds made way for that bit of good luck...!Dies Wide Open: I'm the only example in the entire series?noteUntilMiu Irumaanyway.Really? How interesting.Disease Bleach: My illness made my hair white.Early-Bird Cameo: I'm briefly mentioned in a side story as the 77th class' Ultimate Lucky Student, but I'm not named at the time.Et Tu, Brute?: I was devastated when I found out me and my classmates were actually the Remnants of Despair.Everyone Has Standards: Even among Ultimates, there are some individuals who I find very unsavory. Like Teruteru and his habit of trying to trick people into giving him sexual favors. Or Yasuhiro, who'd rather have money than hope.Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: I wish Ishimaru would realize that his \"hard work\" is just his talent. And that the talentless won't gain anything but hope from his attempts to change the world. Oh, but I really shouldn't bother a talented individual like him about this...Evil Counterpart: To Makoto Naegi, the person whom I look up to more than anyone else, our Ultimate Hope.Evil Laugh: TeeheeAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!Evil Mentor:Turns out my pep talk had the opposite effect on Little Miss Towa.The Friend Nobody Likes: Well, except Hajime at least.The Gadfly: I'll troll Hajime a few times just to see the reactions of everyone else, but it's not like I was suspicious of Hajime at the time or anything like that.Game-Breaking Injury: If I hadn't been shot by Izuru, it's likely I could've saved my class from falling into despair. After everything that's happened, I wonder what would've caused a greater hope. But then again, if someone like me could've done something like that then hope wouldn't be shining as much as it does now.Go Mad from the Revelation: I'll admit, finding out that we were all Remnants of Despair with our minds wiped took its toll on me pretty hard.Green-Eyed Monster: Oh, perish the thought. It's understandable that nobody wants scum like me around, and if they'd rather have a reserve course student like Hajime as a friend...well that just shows how worthlessIam, doesn't it?Hard Work Hardly Works: You either are born with your talent or you don't have any. There's no gray area as far as I'm concerned.Heroic Sacrifice: I fully intended to kickstart the murders so that the others might be saved.Hope Springs Eternal: No matter what despair one my face, it'll just make the hope at the end that much stronger.I Just Want to Have Friends: Be it by my beliefs or my talent, everyone leaves me eventually, andno one really likes me.Karma Houdini: Hey, come on. Are you that upset about the exam building exploding? Come to think of it... had it not because of the exam building exploding, upperclasswoman Seiko Kimura wouldn't be found by Kyosuke Munakata and be spared from the Tragedy and then she would be unable to participate in the Final Killing Game where she ends up developing a cure that would be administered to Kyoko Kirigiri... Aaah, how wonderful! In the end, my escape from karma had sprang out a fulfilled wonderful hope! Don't you agree?The Knights Who Say \"Squee!\": I wasso happyto be able to meet Makoto in person. Just thinking about what sort of bad luck that's going to bring me is...ohhhhhh...Know When to Fold Them: Oh, if only my bad luck hadn't dragged us all down. Someone as worthless as me, I warned them all about Izuru,but I just couldn't say no to Chiaki when she had us all band together in one united banner of hope.Laughing Mad: Mad? I was practically dying of laughter. I was so filled with hope over the fact that everyone was working together to combat the despair of our friend's death. I had also just been found out regarding my role in the murder. I couldn't have been happier.Light Is Not Good: What? What are you saying? Hope is always a good thing.Lonely Rich Kid: And like every other example, I'm not exactly happy about it.Lotus-Eater Machine: I got stuck in one after dying in the Neo World Program. How lucky for me, that Hajime thought trash like myself was worth saving from an illusion like that.Love Freak: Of Hope. I love hope. It's the most wonderful thing in the world, wouldn't you agree?Meaningful Rename: Pretty interesting how you can rearrange the characters in my name to spell out, in Japanese, I am Makoto Naegi.I'm not.Mr. Exposition: I serve as this towards Hajime, especially during the prologue segments.Mysterious Protector: Come on, those presents and Monokuma saleskids wouldn't have been there for Komaru to find if I hadn't planted them. Though I wasn't so mysterious after I told her I was doing it.Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Strangely, when I'm actually trying to be a villain, I do a better job at being a hero. I mean, Monaca didn't want to be Junko's successor because she saw what being a Remnant of Despair did tome.Oh, that gives me an idea actually...No Kill like Overkill: Heh, after what I did to my body, I'd have to have some form of guardian angel to have had any chance of surviving that.Obfuscating Stupidity: What are you talking about? There's no way trash like me could ever notice such an obvious, trial-solving clue!And I definitely haven't solved the whole case before each trial even starts.Only Friend: While I'm slowly warming up to everyone else, and visa versa, I consider this of Hajime, even after all that's happened.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: When I'm telling my friends, the Ultimates, that Izuru Kamakura is bad news, in a somber tone no less, you know something's definitely wrong.Please Kill Me if It Satisfies You: I don't care your reasoning as long as it will bring you hope. I even have a knife and a gun on me right now that you can borrow if you'd like. No? Too bad.Pocket Protector: My student handbook saved my life by stopping the bullet Izuru fired at me.The Pollyanna: So what if my parents are dead and the school I loved is no more? That's no reason to frown. Every day is filled with the possibility of a bright future and only if you have hope can you make it happen.Psycho Supporter: I'd do anything to help my friends succeed.Anything.Red Herring: To put it simply, I'm not Makoto. Even when you considerall thestepstaken to make it look so.The Rival: I like watching Hajime use his hope to eliminate the despair caused by the murders. Though sometimes, he needs a little push to fully unveil it. Challenging his argument is the best way to see the full might of his hope, and I'm the one who does that the best. What do you know...even trash like me has a purpose in the class trials.Screw the Rules, I Have Supernatural Powers!: It's a shame really. I feel I really should've been expelled, or worse, for what I did, bombing the school like that. Luck isn't that great of a talent...is it?Self-Deprecation: (sigh) I don't think my talent's that great. I mean, what's so great about just having better than average luck?Shut Up, Kirk!: Even in the throes of despair, Mikan was able to do this to me by telling me no one would love me. I mean, she was right, but it still hurt to hear.Significant Anagram: We covered this, didn't we? Oh well, no harm in coming back to it I suppose. If you rearrange the letters in my name, you'll get Makoto Naegi with an extra \"da\" thrown in there. If you go by the Japanese characters alone, the anagram will spell out \"I am Makoto Naegi\".Sitcom Arch-Nemesis:In a world with no despair, Hajime and myself have this kind of relationship. I'm always questioning his intentions with the Ultimates, and he's always getting annoyed with me in turn.Slasher Smile: Huh? Is...that really what my smile looks like. Heh, who am I to talk? Of course someone like me would have a worthless smile like that.Stepford Smiler: Don't let my forced joy fool you, I really actually would be okay if I suddenly died.Suicide by Cop: I intended for Byakuya to somehow kill me when I had the hidden knife laying around the dining hall. That...didn't work.Taking You with Me: I wanted to take down the Remnants of Despair with me as a result of my death, but Hajime had me bringing down the traitor instead. At least their death spurred everyone to overcome their own despair.Tautological Templar: It's true though, hope is a wonderful thing.Thanatos Gambit: My death was supposed to draw out the traitor by making it impossible to figure out who died. I don't know how Hajime figured it out, but given the end result I'm impressed nonetheless.There Are Two Kinds of People in the World: Those who are born with worth, and everybody else.The Unfettered: There are two things I know I can believe in no matter what: my talent and Hope.Unluckily Lucky: My luck causes bad things to happen sometimes, but it always leaves more hope in the end.Took a Level in Kindness: I've considerably mellowed out since leaving Jabberwock Island. It makes me wonder if Hajime, given how talented he is with his abilities as Izuru Kamukura, did something to my brain to curb my frontotemporal dementia without my knowledge.Wild Card: I'm on the side of hope. And sometimes, one must do unexpected things in order to bring hope to the world.Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: Lucky me, I'm the only one to ever think to pull a gun on Junko Enoshima. It's unfortunate that Izuru happened to be there. I had her completely at my mercy otherwise.Xanatos Gambit: No matter the result of the trial in the wake of my death, hope was going to win.You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Aww, you're kind for saying so. Miss Yukizome thought the same thing of me.Well, that's all I got. Did you remember anything? Huh? Really? You mean, you never attended Hope's Peak Academy and it's possible everything I've said just spoiled the entire franchise for you?Hahahahahahahahahahaha!Oh the despair we both must feel right now, to think that you don't actually have any talent. I pity you, truly I do. (sigh)You're just like all the rest.I must admit.You're not the first person that's come here under similar pretenses. Look at you all,aimlessly wasting your lives on the internet. Truly, I pity you. You can go ahead and leave now. Hmm? No, I wouldn't want to be friends with a talentless person like you, even if you did listen to everything I had to say. You probably hate me now anyways. Everybody does. If youareworried, don't be. I'll be fine...for the most part. Still...I think Hajime would give me a scolding if I didn't try to be nice in the end...again. Aw, what the heck? I'll give you something to be hopeful about. Just like I have everyone else. So,are you listening?Here goes. Just remember that, no matter what happens, you should always have hope because it's not until you give up that hope truly disappears. Now go, go and live out your non-talented life to the fullest to create a bright future for everyone around you filled with hope."}
{"text": "Your honor, there is a serious contradiction with this site's testimony!Judge:The court is now in session for 'Description of Phoenix Wright'. The prosecution may call its first witness.Edgeworth:The prosecution calls the defendant, Phoenix Wright, to the stand. We request that you describe yourself to the court.Judge:Very well. Defendant, if you please.Wright:Yes, Your Honor!HOLD IT!I should warn you ahead of time before you start reading - my cases tend to involve many turnabouts and surprises, so if you haven't already made yourself aware of them, you may want to hold off checking out this page until then. In other words:there are unmarked spoilers on this page!Hello. I'mPhoenix Wright,Ace Attorney\u2014 also known as the so called 'Comeback King'. I am the owner of the \"Wright Anything Agency\", formerly known as \"Wright and Co. Law Offices\". A lot of people refer to me as a 'legendary defense attorney' who is able to turn any case around. Really though, I mainly just search for the truth and point out the contradictions in a witnesses testimony until I find out who the true guilty party is. It doesn't matter how much you try to hide or obscure the truth, in the end it willalwaysmake itself known regardless of what you do.In my earlier days, I worked under another \"legendary defense attorney\" by the name of Mia Fey. She was a great mentor and taught me mostly everything I know, though she was murdered shortly after my first case. I made sure the killer didn't get away with his act, and in the process I met with Mia's younger sister, Maya Fey.Maya went on to become my assistant, and in the process I learned about one of the defining traits of the Fey clan. The Feys are a family of spirit mediums, and a few of them possess the \"Kurain Channeling Technique\", a special power that allows them to channel spirits of the dead. Maya, being the heir to (and later master of) Kurain Village, has this ability and has used it many times to contact Mia whenever I was stuck with something.In the process of learning about the Feys, I also came into the possession of an amulet called the Magatama. It's a special stone that allows me to see if a person is lying by allowing me to see their mental barriers in the form of locks, known as \"Psyche-Locks\". This allows me to find ways of breaking through them by presenting evidence of what they did, and as long as I know what questions to ask, it in essence makes it impossible for me to take the case of a guilty party. Unfortunately for me, it doesn't quite work that well in court itself.In my time as a defense attorney, I have only ever lost three cases: one where the killer was an assassin hired by my client, one civil trial where I was blackmailed into supporting the plaintiff, and one that resulted in my temporary disbarment. I won't go into the details as I would rather not remember that time, but during my disbarment I took up the hobby of playing poker (not for money, mind you, as that is illegal here), and piano. In that time, I also adopted a daughter, Trucy Wright. Of course, that wasn'tallI was doing in that time.In those seven long years, I had a lot of time to think. Mostly about how the legal system worked and the one who caused me to be disbarred from law. In that time, I spent a good portion of it trying to revamp the court system so it wasn't as biased against the defendants and protecting those who were truly guilty. Though it was a long and hard process, I eventually managed to reform the court, and in the process restored my reputation with the help of another young defense attorney, Apollo Justice.As said above, I am the current owner of the Wright Anything Agency. (At least for legal purposes, as Trucy was still a minor when I regained my badge.) I have two prot\u00e9g\u00e9s: the aforementioned Apollo Justice (who has the ability to \"Perceive\" a person's nervous ticks, making it impossible to hide things from him) and Athena Cykes (a psychiatrist who, thanks to her special sense of hearing, can use a special computer known as the \"Mood Matrix\" that allows her to see a person's true feelings and makes it incredibly hard to slip lies past her). Though I mostly leave cases to them these days, if something comes up that makes them unable to defend or if they're having too much trouble, I'm more than willing to step back in to the ring.Apollo left the agency recently, to return to where he was raised, so for the time being Athena's taking on more cases than she normally would. Maya also came back for a while, but she'll have to eventually return to Kurain Village.Feel free to stop by our work space if you have a case that needs defending. It doesn't matter how bleak it may seem: so long as those who needs defending are truly innocent, we promise that we will find the truth!TAKE THAT!!Your honor, I present the following tropes to describe myself:Accuse the Witness: When I take a case to court, chances are I'll be doing this at some point; that said, I've also accused the case's prosecutor more than once. In one particular case, I even accused my own defense attorney, that one's a long story. Most of these witnesses are either guilty or hiding something.Amateur Sleuth: Despite being a defense attorney, I usually end up having to find a lot of a case's evidence myself. And end up finding the actual murderer more often than not.Always Murder: It seems that no matter what case I take, it will always involve at least one dead body. In fact, I think I only ever tookonenon-murder case, in England.Amoral Attorney:HOLD IT!Though my detractors certainly think this to be the case (especially after what I went through with Matt Engarde), I'm essentially the antithesis of this trope.Anime Hair: Come on, it's notthatspiky... is it?Awesomeness by Analysis: Comes with being a defense attorney. I often have to wrangle out the truth by using obscure evidence to point out the contradiction in a witness's testimony. Many times the situations turn from bleak to near impossible.Born Lucky: People tell me I'm this. Personally,I don't see it...but I guess getting away from being almost run over by a car with only a sprained ankle and only catching a cold from taking a dive into a raging waterfallmight lead some people into thinking that.Bunny-Ears Lawyer: People say that I tend to come up with the craziest bluffs in court. I'll admit, a lot of this stuff sounds crazy to me at first, but that usually doesn't stop it from some how being true.Butt-Monkey: Especially in my earlier days. Thankfully, after seven long years and clearing my name, several people now tend to view me as a legendary defense attorney who can turn any case around. (Though, that's not to say I don't still have my moments...)Catchphrase:OBJECTION!Many defense attorneys and prosecutors use that word due to their jobs! ... Though, that still didn't stop people from mainly associating it with myself.The Chessmaster:HOLD IT!Though I like to think I'm rather smart, in my defense, I had seven long years to prepare for what I had planned when I met Apollo.Crusading Lawyer: I believe that as a lawyer, it is my duty to pursue the truth, and make sure no innocent party is convicted.Deadpan Snarker:Though, I mostly try to keep it to myself.As a friend of mine once said, thank God for internal monologue.Defeating the Undefeatable: Some of my (apparently) crowning achievements include delivering Manfred von Karma his first loss in forty years. I managed to do the same with his daughter, Franziska, though her streak was a lot shorter. (Around five years, though somehow she started prosecuting atthirteenand was considered a child prodigy.)Determinator: I never give up on a case no matter how bleak things get. No matter how hard you try to hide it, in the end, the truth willalwayscome to light.Doting Parent: To my daughter Trucy.First-Person Smartass: ... H-huh!? Wha- no!I wasn't thinking anything bad about you, honest!Giving Someone the Pointer Finger: Comes with being an attorney.Go-Karting with Bowser: Believe it or not, I stayed on friendly terms with the man who masterminded my disbarment. I still got back at him eventually though.Guile Hero: Again, comes with being a lawyer.Hello, Attorney!: I-I'm notthatattractive, am I? Heh heh...Indy Ploy: I don't get much time to prepare in between trials, so a lot of my strategy mainly boils down to \"speak first, think later\". Believe it or not, it's more effective than you'd think.Kleptomaniac Hero:OBJECTION!!As a defense attorney, I'm allowed to borrow things so long as I can prove it's important evidence to the case, and most of the time I use my phone to take pictures of evidence instead of actually taking it.Living Lie Detector: As said above, the Magatama allows me to see peoples mental locks whenever they're trying to hide something. So long as I word my questions properly, it's almost impossible to lie to me.Love Martyr: In my college days, I fell head over heels in love with whom I believed to be a sweet girl named Dahlia Hawthorne. There was a time when I would have done everything for her, and she knew it. Turns out I was a bit too caught up in the moment - the real Dahlia was a monster, plain and simple.Made of Iron: I've fallen several feet into a river before, and been hit by a speeding car and sent flying several feet into the air and into a lamp post... And only got a slight cold and a sprained ankle from it, respectively. EvenI'msurprised at how resilient I can be.Meaningful Name: I seem to have a penchant for turning completely hopeless cases into acquittals, and I'm named after a bird known for rising from the ashes. Coincidence?The Mentor: I'm currently this to Apollo and Athena, giving them advice and taking over their cases when they need it... and though sometimes I'm as clueless as they are, please don't tell them that part.Nice Guy: I always believe in my clients no matter how much the odds are stacked against them, especially if no one else is willing to defend them. Let's just say I know what it feels like when no one else is willing to believe you.No Indoor Voice:OBJE-... err, Objection. I only tend to yell in court because it helps get the point I'm trying to make across, and it's not like I'm alone in doing this.Older and Wiser: I try to put up this image for Apollo and Athena. Though, mostly I'm just bluffing and spotting contradictions as I normally do.Only Sane Man: You'd think this too, if you've seenhalfthe people I've had to work with over the years.Power Creep, Power Seep:So this one time, I was one of the forces summoned to deal with a planet-eating entity calledGalactus. You'd think that a simple attorney who's never been in any sort of fight would be ill-equipped to deal with something like that, but my wits and court knowledge were not only enough to keep me alive, I ended up being one of the strongest guys there! Huh.There was alsothat other timethat started off as a regular, run-off-the-mill court case with me being hired to defend a certainMr. Majima, but it didn't take long for me and Maya to be dragged off into a crazy adventure involving multiverses and time travel, although this time we did get a power boost from acertain succubuswho was thankfully a lot friendlier (or maybe \"less friendly\" would be the accurate term?) than I've heard of her kind being, which allowed us to assist our friends in battle. At least this time I got to actually make some deductions and I was on the verge of getting to participate in a civil case regarding a stolen object in the fanciest and by far the most out-of-place courthouse I recall ever seeing, and even Edgeworth got to (or in his case, was forcibly drafted to) participate...only for the main culprit to bust through a wall and inadvertently admit their guilt and reveal their associates before me or Edgeworth even got to give our opening statements. On one hand, I could've used some sense of normalcy in the middle of this crazy adventure of ours, but seeing who the opposition was, I'm fully convinced that a fight would've broken out regardless of the end result of the case.Perma-Stubble: Again during my time away from the courts. I guess that and the baggy clothing I wore at the timedidmake me look like a hobo.The Perry Mason Method: Sometimes, the best way to get your point across in court is to have the guilty party admit it themselves. (If only if my own clients stopped trying to admit to things they didn't do...)Punny Name: I always seem to return from the brink of defeat, just like my namesake's ability to defy death. (That's not pretentious, is it?)Revenge by Proxy: I seem to attract this for whatever reason. I've gone up against several prosecutors who wanted my client declared guilty simply to get back at me.She Is Not My Girlfriend: Maya and I are only friends... Seriously! Stop giving me that face!Team Dad: I tend to be viewed this way to my assistants and staff. Though it makes sense in Trucy's case.To Be Lawful or Good: There are times where trying to expose the truth and bringing justice conflicts with my career of upholding the law. Most of the time, bringing justice is more important than upholding the law.Took a Level in Jerkass: The experiences of my disbarment unfortunately caused this in me. Thankfully, the restoration of my reputation helped me get over this.Unconventional Courtroom Tactics: You'd be surprised the number of things I've had to do to extend a trial or find the truth. There's areasonI spent a lot of years trying to revamp the court system, and even then...Unluckily Lucky: From the way my cases hit rock bottom before I turn it around, to all the life-threatening situations I seem to get into yet survive, my relationship with Lady Luck is... complicated. Let's just say that sometimes, the miraclesdohappen.Waistcoat of Style: What? I had to change things up for a new generation of prosecutors and defense attorneys. And, let's face it, I lookgood.Me:OBJECTION!Your Honor, what do you think of this tropes page?Judge: ...Er, what about it?Me: Well, i-if you look in THIS area over here, you can clearly see what I mean.Judge: *shakes head* I have no earthly idea what you're talking about, Mr. Wright. Objection overruled. (penalty)Me:(I don't think that won me any points with the judge)Edgeworth:HOLD IT!Your Honor, the trial is about giving Wright a description, and that is the purpose of this page. There have been people have put in a lot of hard work into contributing to it.Judge: I see, why areyouthe one bringing this up, Edgeworth?Edgeworth:This isn't a murder trial, we're simply looking over the quality of Wright and the tropers' handiwork. It doesn't matter which of us wins or loses here."}
{"text": "What were they thinking?So, it's time to talk about... myself. On this godforsaken website called TV Tropes. More like TV Turd! Come on, I'm a fucking video game reviewer! GetThe Nostalgia Criticfor this television shit! Oh, all right.So, I'm the fucking Nerd, and I review shitty games. It's my duty to review dysfunctional games (mostly made by the incarnate of hell,LJN) and warn people from playing this shit. They have several fucking problems, like shitty controls, HORRIBLE music, annoying enemies and putrid graphics. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK WERE THESE PEOPLE THINKING?!? I'D RATHER PUT MY BALLS IN A CROCODILE'S MOUTH WHILE SHOVING MY HEAD UP A UNICORN'S ASSHOLE!!!!These tropes are a shitload of fuck:10-Minute Retirement: I thought I finally hit the bottom of the barrel withDesert Bus. The fact that a game like it could come into existence and that people have played it and suffered through it and evenadapted it into anAtari 2600gamemeant that I had failed. I did everything that I could. It was time to retire... untilCastlevania II:Simon's Redaction.The Alcoholic: Comes when you review shitty fucking games. I especially like Rolling Rock. And I like drinking Rolling Rock on a Roll n Rocker. ROLLING ROCK ON A ROLL N ROCKER!Alternate Self:Youknow who you are - you're a nerd. You'll always be a nerd. Avideo gamenerd.Arch-Enemy:Laughin Jokin' Numbnuts bring nothing but misery by making more SHITTY FUCKING GAMES! Also, Fucking Fred Fucks and that Bugs Bunny Bitch!Robert Louis Stevenson:YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!Ass Shove: I wonder ifThe Jokergot all thoseBatmangames I put in his ass out yet.Before the Dark Times:Fuckin' video games. We wasted so many hours of human life with this vile crap! We failed in our existence when we were cursed with the technology to invent such horrible mind-rotting catastrophes! We were better in the fucking medieval times! I wish we were just sitting on a river bank playing with fucking rocks!Berserk Button:Really shitty controls! Like there's four buttons in front of the controller! BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH?!? INSTEAD THEY PROGRAM IT TO ALL KIND OF CRAZY BUTTON COMBINATIONS AND SHIT?!?Awful, awful music. I especially hate LJN Video Art. It just goes KHHHHHHHHHHHHH. PERFECT FUCKING QUALITY. Makes Beethoven look like fucking pop shit. You know thatwhenever I see that rainbow logo on the box or cartridge, that means I'm fucked.NO FUCKING PAUSES! Do I just have to hold my shit?!? Or, actually never mind. I'll just shit on shit... I mean the cartridge... fuck off. My ass is worth more!Boom, Headshot!: Jason is easier to beat inReal Lifethan he is inthat fucking game.Born in the Wrong Century: If only I wasn't born too fucking early, I would've been able to play thePipeworks ''Godzilla'' Trilogywhen I was a kid.Catchphrase: Here are my thoughts on this article.AAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK!!!I'D RATHER EAT SHIT AND CHOKE ON IT TO DEATH!!!WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!FUCK THIS GAME!!!THIS GAME SUCKS!!!SHITTY GAMES... SHITTY GAMES!!!I'M DEAD. FUCKING. SERIOUS.LET'S POP THIS FUCKER IN!Burning Bag of Poop: Goddamn kids left mea flaming bag of shiton my doorstep during Halloween 2015.Caustic Critic: What? You think I'm gonna be nice to shitty games? Piss off.Cluster F-Bomb: Man, fuck this article! Fuck it to hell! Fuck it to oblivion! It fucking sucks!Comical Overreacting:WHY ARE THEY NO FUCKING CONTINUES IN GAMES?!? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!Country Matters: Believe it or not, \"cunt\" is a swear I only use sparingly, such as when I'm trying to use different commands to shoot a duck inDuck Huntor when I'm dealing with a console that legally could only be released in Europe.Cue the Flying Pigs:They madea game...THAT'S NOT STEAMING PILE OF FUCKING SHIT! OH, MY GOD!!!I came really close to saying, \"This gamesucks so badly, it would be more fun to play with cat turds\". Well then here comes a gameWHERE YOU'RE ACTUALLY PLAYINGWITH CAT TURDS!!!Deadpan Snarker: Wow, I'm like, totally fucking surprised you haven't noticed this already.Disco Dan: What? I'm supposed to bring people back to the past.Dung Fu:BOMBS AWAY, BUNNY BITCH!!!AND YOU TOO,ECCO!!!Ear Worm: \u266bW\u01d2 \u00e0i B\u011bij\u012bng Ti\u0101n'\u0101nm\u00e9n, Ti\u0101n'\u0101nm\u00e9n shang t\u00e0iy\u00e1ng sheng\u266b...how do you like THAT soundtrack?!THAT WON'T GET ANNOYING AT ALL!!Eating Shoes: Bart's my ass and Krusty's my balls.Fuck this shit- now, I'm going to eat my own shorts.Excrement Statement: Since theAtari Jaguar CDlooked like a toilet, I took a shit on it. Oh, andLloyd Kaufmandid the same onToxic Crusaders.Eye Beams:This one sucks my left ball, this one sucks my right ball.WELCOME TO DIE!!!For Science!: Apparently, itispossibleto break a window with a newspaper.Goomba Stomp:BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE!IT'S SHOWTIME!!NNNGGH! MMM! AAAAH!I've seenThe Exorcist167 times, it keeps getting funnier EVERY FUCKING TIME!!Gratuitous German:DAS SPIEL IST SCHEI\u00dfE! DIESES SPIEL FICKT DICH H\u00c4RTER ALS DAS LEBEN!noteThis game is shit! This game fucks you harder than life!Gratuitous Japanese: \u266bZYURANGER, ZYURANGER, DENSETSU NO SENSHI-TACHI YO, ZYURANGER!\u266bHair-Trigger Temper: SHITTY FUCKING GAMES REALLY FUCKING TRIGGER ME, MAN!Hurl It into the Sun:Superman 64is a bunch of fuck, and it doesn't belong on this planet! I, the Fuckin' Nerd, threw it to where it belongs!Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: DIE,MONSTER! YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!Kill It with Fire: Winter Games, theSega 32X,the Amiga CD32andBeavis And Butthead... BURN, MOTHERFUCKERS, BURN!!!Large Ham: You'd scream - and mug, and commit random acts of violence - if you were dealing with those games too!Licensed Game:The bane of my existence.Although there are also games based on me, such asThe Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures,which I made sure to play- and har, har, really fucking funny, they tend to beabusingly hardand full of dickish design decisions just like the games I review.invokedMalaproper: \"Cleared ACT Mission\"? What kind of terminology is that? That's like saying \"Cleared LEVEL Stage\"!This gameis dick cock.A Molten Date with Death:Greendogfor the Genesis got thrown into actual fucking lava.Neck Snap: I had to permanently killSuperman 64this way. It was going to hurt all the good, innocent games.Out-of-Character Moment: On rare occasions, a video actually has thoughtful, insightful analyses of games that don't fucking suck.My video onEarthboundis a perfect example. Judging by the comments, it's also one of the most well-received.Precision F-Strike: Gee, what a shock. It's not like this isn't one of my most common fucking trademarks.Punctuated! For! Emphasis!:IT SUCKS! MONKEY! BUTTS! LIKE ALL! THE FUCKIN'! REST!!!Sanity Slippage: Admit it,you fucking rat bastards. A lot of you watch my videos because you enjoy seeing me suffer and become increasingly enraged by the endless amount of bullshit I have to deal with in almost every game I play. That's it, isn't it, you walking, talking pieces of roadkill fuckery? MY MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST A TWISTED GAME TO YOU, ISN'T IT, YOU COCKSUCKING SHITBAGS?!?Sir Swears-a-Lot: Wow, how fucking shocking. It's not like that's the fucking main fucking thing about my fucking character... ya fuck.Spell My Name with an S:BUT IT WAS SPELLED \"STEIN\"!! IT WAS SPELLED \"BERENSTEIN\"!!!Suicide by Sunlight:Oh, I'm sick of it all!Morning sun, VANQUISH ME!!!A Taste of the Lash:I thought theSega Genesisversion ofDark Castlewas bad, but thePhilips CD-iversion FUCKS YOU HARDER THAN LIFE ITSELF! IT'S A CURSE TO THE SOUL, AND IT MUST SUFFER THE TORTURES OF THE DAMNED!!Oh, andSonic the Hedgehog (2006), as well: TAKE IT, YOU FUCKING GAME! YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT!? FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!Testosterone Poisoning:BRUTAL CHEX!!!This Is a Drill: IfDick Tracywould've just given me continues, I wouldn't have had to put a power drill through it.This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!:LIGHTS OUT, BITCH!!!Toilet Humor: I just can't help but think about shit! If not piss or vomit! And thus all those fluids are always out, either verbally or literally.[Verb] This!: ThatMetronthought I demonstrated the advanced restraint of mercy by sparing that shittyStar Trek: 25th Anniversary. MERCY THIS, MOTHERFUCKER!\"Th-th-th-th-th-th-th-that's all, fucks!\" (flips offthe audience)"}
{"text": "super villain / assholeHey, my name is Bobby Worst. I'm a horny terrorist and I believe in genocide and spam emails.I'm a villain and a bad guy. I do evil things with my shitty servants Suck and Swallow and one day I'm gonna rule this goddamn planet. And when I'm done fucking it till its tits fall off, I'm gonna start dropping those fucking nukes I've been working on and then I'll fuck the ashes.Just the thought makes me want to kill someone and fuck the wound.Suck! Get over here you fat fucking bottom and service me! And bring me the biggest shard of broken glass you can find!Hoping you have an evil day today.Anything That Moves: If it has a hole my dick's gonna use it. If it doesn't I have a knife or two to make one. Blood makes the best lube in cases like this.Ax-Crazy: All I want is for everyone in the world to die alone and afraid. Is that so much to ask?Card-Carrying Villain: I'm a terrorist, I'm horny and I'm out to fuck a few hundred bullet holes!Child Hater: The thought of blowing up daycare centers always cheers me up when all the drugs wears off.Dark Is Evil: I'm back in black, bitch!Depraved Bisexual: You're damn right I'm depraved. I'm hungry, I'm horny, I'm angry and I ain't askin'.Even Evil Has Standards: You'd think fucking your own daughter wouldn't be weird after, but it's days like this that the high wears off.Evil Is Petty: Sometimes I'll break into people's houses just to clog their toilets.Green and Mean: Green and whatever the hell the color of dried blood and semen is supposed to be are the new black.Hell-Bent for Leather: Wearing suits like mine is just asking for lots of painful pinching and exposed man-bulges. It takes a lot of lube to squeeze into this and that's how I like it.Laughably Evil: Just saying \"rape\" and \"car-accidents\" gives me the giggles.Not-So-Harmless Villain: I don't regret much, but I thought starting theCOVID-19 Pandemicwould be funny.Villainous Incest: You haven't lived life at its fullest until you've fucked your family."}
{"text": "(When reading this, imagine Chad James is speaking this.)Um is this on, oh ok.Name's Boomstick. You may know me as one of the co-hosts from a certain awesome internet show calledDEATH BATTLE!, so i'll just get to the point.Death Battle was made in 2010 by Ben Singer where me and my co-host Wiz put all sorts of characters from all over the place against each other infights to the death.I usually do the research on weapons while Wiz does the rest.On March 16th, 2016 at the end ofDante VS BayonettaI revealed that I would be hosting my own spin-off show called DBX where I don't bother with research and just make them fight, but on July 14th, 2019 I gave the job of host to my best buddy Marshall (or as he goes by Ringmaster) but I still have my work on Death Battle to do.Oh hey! I seeDUMMIhas his own page here. I'm going to blow him up right now!noteDUMMI: Oh boy. Here we go again.I look forward to it.These Tropes pretty much sum me up.Abusive Parents: My dad was pretty much this for me when he was around; the only gift he really gave me was a sore cheek. Momma Boomstick was a much better parent, even if her training went into some really weird places sometimes.Me: When I was a kid Mama Boomstick trained me and some friends to eat sixty hot dogs in ten minutes!I was the only one who survived...Acrofatic: Don't let my weight and shotgun leg fool ya, I'm really good at running. A lot better thanMob, that's for sure.A God Am I: Hey if I could lie as well asMr Satan, I'd make people think I was king of the world too, or even God.And, as ofFlash VS Sonic, Iama god- aSpeed God, thanks to Wiz putting latent cosmic kinetic energy in my beer! I ran to Jupiter and back!Too bad I don't use that power for much other thandelivering aBond One-Liner.Agony of the Feet: Yeah inAquaman VS NamorWiz inflicts this on me just for quotingBane. What a jerk! I've only gotonefoot in the first place!Me: (talking behind a can of beer)You think the point is your ally, you merely adopted the point, I was born in it, molded by it.(gets stabbed in the foot by Wiz)Wiz: How about that point?Me:(Delayed ReactionthenScreams Like a Little Girl)This continues on in Season 6 with me threatening Wiz not to stab me again inGanondorf VS Dracula, and I finally get to pay him back for it inGuy'spreview by breaking his leg.The Alcoholic: Hey I'm not dependent on booze, booze is dependent on me! But yeah, I do drink a lot of beer and some things me and Wiz talk about, I wonder how useful they would be to get beers with ease. I even usethe Gravity Gunto get beers from the couch!Also, inCaptain Marvel VS Shazam, I spilled a perfectly good beer trying to prove I could control gravity like Ms. Danvers.I'M A MONSTER!!!Then Ipoured one out for it... only to findI was wasting more beer.All Men Are Perverts: If there's a hot woman as one or both combatants on the show, you can count on me to point this out! The only exceptions include; my ex-wife, Rebecca Black, PrincessesZeldaandPeach,Taokaka,Toph,Yang(I was more busy admiring her weapons instead),Agent Carolina,Renamon,Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle,Lucy,Weiss,Mitsuru(Me and Wiz were more interested in her fur coat),Akane,TatsumakiandBlack Canary.Alternate Self: I have one of these called Broomstick, he looks like me but has Wiz's clothes and talks like him too. Also, he's British.Amazon Chaser: I spent most of Yang's analysis gushing over her Ember Celica and whenTifalost I talk about losing a potential wife, I calledErzaDamn near perfectand decided thatLara Croftwill be my next ex-wife.Arch-Enemy: Let's just say I really enjoyed howJustin Bieber VS Rebecca Blackended, but seriously, I hate pop stars more than my ex-wife, and that's saying a lot.Artificial Limbs: My right leg below the knee is a shotgun which I can use pretty well. Still can't do ballet with it, though.Audience Surrogate: I pretty much am one for theMarvel Cinematic Universe. If a character's portrayal in the MCU is very different from the comics like Ultron's creation and Thanos' Infinity Stones, I will definitely bring up the movies before Wiz talks about the comic's version.Awesome, but Impractical: I patented the baby cannon, both me and Wiz think it's awesome but Wiz shot it down because of it'sreloadtime.Bad Boss: I don't bother to pay Jocelyn the Intern for her work, the money usually goes to booze and ammo, and when we finally are on camera, I was the one to offer the idea of blaming it on her.Big \"NO!\": I said this when bothCharizard and Vaderlose their fights..Bond One-Liner: I usually cap off episodes with one after the fight. You can view them allhere.Blood Knight: There is nothing I love more than over the top murder and violence.Boyfriend-Blocking Dad: In the Tatsumaki preview episode, I said I have to go home to shoot the guy bringing my daughter home from a date. When Wiz questions what I'll do if the guy is on time, I replied that I'm still shooting the guy on principle.Bruiser With A Soft Centre: Believe it or not, I do have a soft spot for cute critters like kittens,Kirby, and tanukis (other than Shukaku, that is).Butt-Monkey: I usually get more crap than Wiz does in episodes.The Cameo: I made one in the season 4 finale of DBX,Batman VS Iron Manwhere I was bidding to have Piccolo as a dad.Camera Obscurer: The main reason you've never seen my face and Wiz's face untilMario VS Sonic (2018)was due to me leaving the lens-cap on the camera, but we decided to blame Jocelyn for it instead.Catchphrase:\"IT'S TIME FOR ADEATH BATTLE!\"Cloudcuckoolander: I usually go on tangents during the post battle analysis and think a baby launcher would be a good invention.Cluster F-Bomb: My reaction toGaara's defeat at Toph's handshad a lot more profanity than usual.Me:Ohh\u2014-! (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) god-damn (bleep) son of a (bleep) (bleep) weasel! Why did another anime character have to lose?!Cool Bike: I once owned a motorcycle, and tried to set it on fire like Ghost Rider's Hell Cycle. When Wiz shows his surprise that I owned a bike, I make it clear thatthe bike didn't survive that experiment.Cuteness Proximity: I go aww at the kittens, the tanuki and the Waddle Dees.Deadpan Snarker: I usually save the \"deadpan\" for whoever lost the battle. Otherwise, I tend to be more over-the-top than Wiz is.Deal with the Devil: I have made a couple of comments that suggest I've done this in the past. I wonder what kind of dealNathanmade with Satan to survive such big falls, adding that I know that kind of thing comes with a terrible price, And when we talked about howMitsuru'sgrandfather about how he experimented with Shadows (which I described as basically demons), saying it as a bad idea since summoning demons is always a bad idea. It never works out. And when it does... it doesn't/Deep South: Yep, I'm a redneck. In case you can't tell by the accent and love of guns.Disappeared Dad: My dad eventually left me and Mama Boomstick for no good reason. I'm not exactly happy about this.SCREW YOU, DAD! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!If he really left to join the army, maybe daddy'sSarge, even if he lives hundreds of years in the future?Ditzy Genius: I am actually more clever than I sounds at times, and can keep up with Wiz.Drunk Driver: According to Wiz, I once drove a dune buggy drunk. It ended up in a lake.Dumbass Has a Point: I occasionally say something clever in the middle of my ramblings.Eagleland: I'm loud, boisterous, and a lover of guns and beer.Andno, I'm not wanted in all 50 statesfor crushing cars and killing people.Eccentric Millionaire: I've claimed that if I ever got rich, I would blow all my money on Bigfoot traps.Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: I get very protective of my mom when Wiz andDeadpoolmake cracks about her.Everyone Has Standards:I may be a raging alcoholic, but I draw the line at driving under the influence, though I may have indulged in DUI in the past.I'm definitely perverted, but I give credit to female combatants when they prove themselves to be capable in a fight, and chastise my grandfather for thinking that women can't be asskickers. I also berateRollfor \"sending feminism back to the '60s\".I actually have no problem when I find outLucymurdered a bunch a kids becausethey murdered her adorable puppy and forced her to watch.In that same episode, I have an issue with dog harming in general.In \"Dr. Doom vs. Darth Vader\", I am pissed that Dr. Doom awarded himself a doctorate after taking over Latveria, claiming it an insult to everyone who actually had to work for one. Later, in \"Dr. Fate vs. Dr. Strange\", I'm equally leary about Fate's title, until Wiz assures me that yes, he actuallydidearn a legitamite doctorate.For a guy with such a clear love of violence I'm quite somber when talking about the destruction of the nuclear bombs and the beginning of the nuclear age inGodzilla vs Gamera.I signed the Death Race contract in strawberry jam,notblood.I'm not an animal! (Beat) Wait, did Wiz use blood?!Extreme Omnivore: I really want to eat a Pok\u00e9mon. What?! They look delicious!Fat Bastard:Careful who you're calling fat, buddy.But yeah, I'm a large guy, and I tested explosive weaponry on the Death Battle interns.Fighting Spirit: My Stand, 99 Bottles, turns anything it touches into beer! And you thoughtStar Platinumwas cool!Fusion Dance: After seeingGogeta and Vegitoduke it out, I happily wished to fuse with Wiz! The dragon granted my wish! Too bad you guys don\u2019t get to see the resulting fusion.Girl on Girl Is Hot: I certainly have no objections tohow Rogue ended the fight between her and Wonder Woman.Gun Nut: I enjoy guns that cantrash talkfor me, prioritizeAbnormal Ammoto normal ammo, and if it causes more destruction, fun for me. Some of my favorites areShotgun 1340,The Boneduster Shotgun,The R.Y.N.O (namely the Mark 5 variant), and theNano Rifle. My usual contribution to the analysis of any fighter from a setting with firearms is to observe the firearms involved and provide their stats.Handicapped Badass: Don't think I can't fight just because I've got one leg.Hangover Sensitivity: I may have been nursing a hangover duringUltron vs. Sigma, given my reaction toDr. Wily's flying pod.Heroes Love Dogs: I'm no hero, but I have a pet dog named Jack Spaniels that I love. I develop a dislike for Carnage when I found out he tortured and killed a dog, and cheered Lucy on for killing several kids when I learn that they beat her puppy to death in front of herand approved of her apparent hatred of dog killers after she defeated Carnage.Hidden Depths: I'm smarter than you think.His Name Really Is \"Barkeep\": Boomstick really is my name.Hot-Blooded: In contrast to Wiz, I'm as bombastic as they come.I Call Him \"Mister Happy\": I decided to name my penis \"Righteous Indignation\", after Bucky O' Hare's ship.In Love with Your Carnage:I really enjoyed it when I hear that theBFG-9000isn'tDoomguy's most powerful weapon.I also wasn't swayed away from having the hots forEsdeathafter watching her kick a naked guy in the face. Too bad she's only got eyes for that dumb Tatsumi brat.Inelegant Blubbering: I hate to admit this, but I did this when I mentioned the death of Optimus Prime inThe Transformers: The Movie, followed by going to hug my truck.Kamehame Hadoken: I'm a fan of bothTrope Namers, calling out the \"Hadoken!\" in time with Ryu (and encouraging the viewer to do the same) when the move is mentioned inRyu vs. Jin, and performed a Kamehameha (on Wiz, with the help of a shaken beer) inRoshi vs. Jiriya.Kick the Dog: Wiz drives me insane withThatMan, I decide to take it out on Wiz's pet robotic dog. It only happens in the preview. In the actual episode, I look up That Man on the internet and calm down.Kindhearted Cat Lover:While the \"kindhearted\" part is debatable, I absolutely love kittens.Me: Shut up! Kittens are adorable!On the other hand, I own a \"laser-guided kitten cannon\" and declare cats inferior to dogs (other than the Tigerzord obviously).Know When to Fold Them: In the preview for the Black Panther, I get the idea to invade Wakanda. I change my mind after being shown a comic panel filled with the bodies of various Skrull warriors who tried to do just that.Large Ham: I'm louder, more passionate and generally a bigger presence than Wiz. Just listen to the way I say GHOOOOSTSS!!Laxative Prank: I pulled this on my fourth grade math teacher and gave her the shits. I asked if Ghost Rider's Penance Stare would give my soul the shits too for it.Libation for the Dead: I did this in both of the Captain Marvel fights:In the one against Android 18, I crack open a cold one for Carol's predecesor:Me:Here's to you, Mar-Vel.In the one against Shazam, after I drop a perfectly good beer,I poured one out for it.Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: My mom went through 13 ex-husbands. I wasn't even five before she settled on hubby number 14.Momma's Boy: Unlike my asshole birth father and (many) stepfathers, whenever Mamma Boomstick comes up, I only have good things to say about her, even her cooking. I fondly remember her teaching me a martial art, too.Mundane Utility: I usually make a comment about how a fighter's equipment can be used to be lazy. Highlights include using theSword of Omen'sTractor Beamto summon snacks, orAquaman's trident to go to Disney World.My God, What Have I Done?:In the preview for Venom, I immediately regretshredding Wiz's clothes by yelling loudly. Mostly because Ican't unseeNaked Wiz.Me:OH MY GOD WHY DID I DO THAT?I CAN NEVER UNSEE!AUUGH!WHERE'S THE BLEACH?! I NEED IT FOR MY EYES!I give two in \"Captain Marvel vs. Shazam\"; first when I drops a perfectly good beer after making a crack about 'controlling gravity' like Marvel, and shortly afterwards after Ipour one outto said beer.InDeadpool vs. the Mask, I'm the one who cuts Wiz off in the middle of the post-fight analysis topoint out that despite our usual impartial position in deciding the victor, we sent Wade to be killed by pitting him against an opponent wealready knewoutclassed him in every way.Naked First Impression: I forgot my pants when me and Wiz first met.Naked People Are Funny: In Gray's preview I assumed that his ice powers come fromstrippingso I decided to take off my pants, much to Wiz's horror and disgust.In the actual episode, I tear off my shirt instead, bring out a stripper pole, and order Wiz to oil me up. Then the jerk has to tell me Gray doesn't get his powers from stripping. Why couldn't he have warned me before I took off my favorite shirt?No More for Me: WhenNomad of Nowherebrings a can of beer to life in \"Thanos vs. Darkseid\", I decided that I drank too much.Noodle Incident: At the end ofHulk'ssecond preview for his fight withBroly, I revealed that I drank a bunch of Speed-Force sodas, I'm not gonna go into too much detail but by the end of it I became officially classified as a natural disaster, meaning Wiz is now legally responsible for anything I do, I milked this bycommitting some petty crimes because Wiz was too happy lately.Obsessed with Food: Beside mylove for booze,I mention food a lot, like how I'mstill mad at Wiz about not not letting me get a churro.Once Done, Never Forgotten: Yeah, a whole season later, I'm still not letting Wiz forget he stuck a trident in my foot.One-Note Cook: Before I discovered Blue Apron, I couldn't cook anything besides roast chicken.Only the Chosen May Wield: I don't know who chose me or why, butI can lift Mjolnir!Out-of-Character Moment:I realize that I did one in He-Man vs Lion-O:Aww, we missed the cute kitty stage! (Beat) SHUT UP, kittens are adorable!In Yang vs Tifa, not once do I make an perverted comment on either character. Wiz clearly expects me to but I was actually talking about something else.noteThen I make a quick comment about Tifa's breasts at the end of her section.In Zoro vs Erza, I never make any real perverted comments towardsErzaand instead call her \"damn near perfect\", with only a quip about how the Seduction Armor would be useful by making it hard for a man to fight \"with an erection\".Pet the Dog: Considering how usuallycruelme and Wiz are when talking about anything tragic that happens to our combatants, when Wiz casually mentionsAerith's death, Ipolitelytell him not to bring it up while shedding a tear.Pungeon Master: I usually say least one pun in every episode with the Toph vs Garra match going to town, usually at the very end.Doesn't mean I'll like what I say though.A Rare Sentence: In \"Thanos vs. Darkseid\", whenNomad of Nowheredrops in and brings a can of beer to life, I am so weirded out that I tell Wiz that I think I've drunk too much.Real Men Wear Pink: I own a pink car (with flame decals)which Riptor slams into, wrecking it.Me:No, my car!I've also got a pink machine gun. It used to be white, but Iwashed it with my red hat.Red Oni, Blue Oni: I'm pretty much the red to Wiz's blue, being louder and much more excitable.Like Wiz, I'm color-coded with red armor with white trims inMeta VS Carolina.Shell-Shocked Veteran: Mama Boomstick trained me and my friends to eat 60 hotdogs in 10 minutes. I was the only one who survived.Southern-Fried Genius: Believe it or not, I actually have a college degree in poultry science, specialising in frying.Super Strength: I'm stronger than your average Texan.Me: (on Lion-O's Claw Shield) \u2026with which, in his first outing, he effortlessly punched down a tree. Hey, that's just like how I catch squirrels for supper!Throw the Dog a Bone: Whenever I obviously favor one character over their opponent, that character would always end up losing. I was understandably enthusiastic whenGuts vs Nightmarefinally had one of my favorite characters win, with me talking over Wiz during the post-match analysis so I could gush some more about the winner.Trademark Favorite Food: Squirrels. My favorite breakfast food is \"Nana's Southern Fried Squirrel.\" I also mentioned that Lion-O punching down trees is like how I catch squirrels for supper, In Thanos VS Darkseid I reveal that my mom's ghost pepper pie can have its taste weakened by using squirrel paste and Mega Man Battle Royale shows me eating a burger with a squirrel's tail sticking out.Training from Hell: Mama Boomstick put me through this...for hotdog eating. Notably averted for the traditional use, as I have fond memories of combat training with no dislike of it.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Pretty much what Death Battle is and it's mine and Wiz's jobs to host it.Understatement: My only response toShao Khanabsorbing M. Bison's soulis \"That can't be good\".Vocal Evolution: By the third or fourth episode, my voice started getting louder and took on a more pronounced Southern accent.The Watson: I'm usually to be the one to ask the questions about Wiz's scientific facts so that they can be more easily explained by you guys. I try to contradict Wiz's research and claims with questions normal people would ask about the combatants.What Does This Button Do?: When Wiz brings out a \"Multiverse Manipulator\" inMiles Morales vs. Static, I don't even let him finish a sentence before I yell \"BUTTON!\" and press it.What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: I don't like characters who rely onThe Power of Friendship, cause I see that kind of thing as too sweet for a guy like me. I prefer characters who areThe Social DarwinistlikeEsdeath.Who's on First?: While going overSol Badguy, Wiz brings upThat Man.Hilarity Ensueswhen I ask which one.You Remind Me of X:Gorokinda reminds me of the guy my ex-wife left me for at the wedding reception. Yes, because he's buff, but mainly the four arms."}
{"text": "Show me ya moves!(This page is best read in the voice ofRy\u014d Horikawawith ahumorously exaggeratedAmerican accent. For the alternate ending below, please read his lines in the voice ofHideyuki Tanaka, and drop that accent.)(You see the Blue Falcon racing by asthis music plays. Suddenly, the cockpit opens, and the driver somersaults out.)TOOP! TOOP! TOOP!(salutes)Hello! I amCaptain Falcone,space racerman,bounty hunter, hero of the future and thrill-seeking extraordinaire! YESZ! I am a famous character ofNintendo! I am a most famousF-Zeroracer, who loves to fight in theGreat Fray Smash Brothers! HUH! I am famous for mySignature Movein it, which is the...FALCONE\u2026PAWNCH!!!(much exploding ensues)I began in theF-Zerogame for Super Famicom ! They almost make me the flag-ship character for the console, but the plans don't pan out. But then, there are two sequels! There is theF-Zero Xfor Nintendo 64, which introduces very many new racers which includeBlack Shadow, the arch- enemy ofCaptain Falcone! I return in theF-Zero GX, which has a story! I compete in the Grand Prix, rescue the sexy lady Jody Summer from the accident, and defeat the evil Black Shadow and the even more powerful Deathborn to save the world from their megalomaniacal domination plans! HOOOOWAAAAAAAH!There are two ships which I own. There is the Blue Falcone, which is the fastest machine on the circuit. ButCaptain Falconeis also a man of law, and Ihunt the bounty of the criminals scum for justice. For this, I have the Falcone Flyer, my personal space-craft for the tracking!There is also a clone of me, Blood Falcone! He was created by Black Shadow so that he can destroy! He wants to defeat me and becomeCaptain Falcone, but he is not, so I go prove it with the good old-fashioned fisticuffs! There is alsoa clone of a different kind, who is the Demon King Ganondorf ofHyrule! He uses my moves for evil, butbutchers them by doing it agonizingly slowinstead of my stylish super-speed! He thinks one of the Try-Force with Power makes him invincible, but if a green elf in tights beats him all the time, then surely he will fall toCaptain Falcone, an even braver hero with manly fists full of fire! YYYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!noteGanondorf: You? Defeatme?Ha ha ha... Very funny! Quite the attitude you have there, lad.Butthis is not my most famous thing! I am in theGreat Fray Smash Brothers, all five times! It can show that I am an expert fighter, with very manly muscles and fighting moves! I fight all the other heroes of Nintendo as we show our moves and fight to the limit with our burning spirits of passion ! I am so tough thatthe Prince Krom of Ylisseis not in it because he can't even stand up to me! Oh YESZ! But then he appears with the daughter Lucina of him (who I almost beat also) in theProject \u00d7 Zone2, so he gets his chance after all. Except that it looks like the perfect sort of game forCaptain Falconeto be in, as to be aHot-Bloodedmanlyanime game with other manly men as theRyunotejust as in the SmaBroand also theSegata Sanshiro, so maybe I need the chance too! TOOOOOOWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!And don't forget to buy the officialamiibotoy figure ofCaptain Falcone! An action figure is most fitting for a hero of justice, but I only get it after so many years. But it is a deserving toy of very glorious ! HOOOOOWAAAAAAAHHHHH! And it also gives you aCaptain Falconeofvery manly powerto train and fight in the Smash Brothers!I'm in the fifth outing of Smash and in the newWorld of LightI join the gathering of heroes and villains going up against all-new threat. Unfortunately we lost and I'm trapped while someone has hijacked my body! Our only hope is Kirby. Go Kirby! Free everyone and put an end to the Kiira! And I hear thatThe Legendary Wolfis coming to Smash, whospeaks as mefor the manliest fiery passion! There is also the ramen-cooking ofMin Min, which onlyCaptain Falconemakes the manliest slurping of delicious passion!Also please look atthe time I save Christmas! YESZ! Don't forget thatthere istheGame ModforDragon Ball Fighter Zso I can fightthe cousinVegetaof me to see who is the manliest man of the men! Of courseCaptain Falconewill win because my power isOVER 8-, err,9000!!!noteVegeta:Screw you, clown!And remember: you don't win by being lucky, you win by being bold.Show me ya tropes!Animal Motifs: Is only fitting thatCaptain Falconeshares a name with the mighty bird of prey who is also a fast and sharp flier, and an expert and dangerous hunter like me, and so I use as my symbol!Awesome, but Impractical: TheFALCONE\u2026PAWNCH!is a great pawnch of burning justice, but is not a tool to be reckless!Captain Falconemust be smart and patient and plan to use hisFALCONE\u2026PAWNCH!to the maximum!Badass Driver: There is the double-life where I am a bounty hunter, and also an ace space racerman, as well as the expert in hand-to-hand combat!Barehanded Blade Block: The manly fists ofCaptain Falconeare so tough, that I even block the legendaryFalchionsword thatLucinauses! (The sword doesn't deserve that name, it cramps my style.)Big Eater:I once visited the restaurant owned bythe great ARMS fighter Min Min! I slurped down all of her ramen with great fiery passion and then continued with even more bowls of ramen!YESZ!Big \"YES!\": It is a shout of excitement when I use my manly recovery move, \"Falcone Dive\".YESZ!Bounty Hunter: It is just like the famousSamus Aran(who is one of my favorite sexy ladies). You see it in the comic-book which includes in the manual for the Super Famicom game. It is the best career thatCaptain Falconechooses for himself, because it lets me pursue justice!Bring It: Show me ya moves!(salutes)Calling Your Attacks: The attack power ofCaptain Falconeis maximum when I am yelling the names of them, as theFALCONE\u2026PAWNCH!!!, theFALCONKICK!!!andCAHM AWN!BLUUUUUUUUUUUUE FALCONE!Camp: Especially in the Great Fray Smash Brothers,Captain Falconeis famous for dressing in bright colors and showing very loudly how manly and strong I am! It is even better when I wearthe special pink and white outfit of me!Captain Space, Defender of Earth!: Don't forget that I am your favorite manly space racerman of justice! YESZ!Distaff Counterpart: There is the sexy rivalSamus Aran, who is a space-travel bountyhunter of justice with the red helmet as me, and even shares some moves in the SmaBro. But it is even more as the Zero Suit Samus, where she is asuper-athleteas me who is fast and strong and agile and wears the tight, sexy blue suit! YESZ!Elemental Punch: There is the flashy falcon fire that forms on my fists when it is the unleashing time for my forcefulFALCONE...PAWNCH!!!For kicking variants, myFALCONKICK!!!is also encased in the fabulous fire, and I can also employ an energetically-electrified version to achieve extreme effectiveness in my endeavors.Genius Bruiser: For the maximum racing performance,Captain Falconeis an expert of every inch of the specifications of the Blue Falcone machine, to perform as if it has the best ratings! YESZ!A God Am I: In theF-Zero GX, by beating Deathborn, I obtain a champion's belt of light and dark that gives power over the universe! But becauseCaptain Falconebelieves in freedom, I don't use to rule, and instead I just keep it to protect from the forces of evil. But it is also the good reason why you all worshipCaptain Falconeas the mightiest man in the universe! YESZ!Gratuitous English: In the Smash Brothers, I talk in English with my own pronouncings and phrasings, which is better and manlier than the other people!The man who does the voice of meis Japanese and can talk English fluent, butCaptain Falconetranscends normal and boring ways of talking!Heroic Sacrifice: In the animation, I kill Black Shadow with theFALCONE\u2026PAWNCH!!!so hard that it destroys one-eighth of the entire galaxy! Yes. I had to die. But the death ofCaptain Falconewould be remembered as a fiery sacrifice to save the world for justice!It actually isn't me who causes the explosion, it is the reactor exploding. But don't tell anyone.Hot-Blooded: In theF-Zerogames, Istay reserved. But when fighting in the Smash Brothers,Captain Falconeallows the burning fighting spirits of his very passion guide him and infuse him with the power he needs to DESTROY EVIL!!!YYYYEAAAAH!Hunk: You all know thatCaptain Falconeis a handsome man with the bulging muscles, which all the sexy ladies adore!Ineffectual Loner: BecauseCaptain Falconeis the most feared bounty hunter in all the galaxy, I live on my own on the island sanctuary due to the constant danger of the criminals scum. It is so much that I quickly dash home after winning the award of the Grand Prix, even though I am also a most famous figure and make many TV appearances, and only the Grand Prix itself or the high bounty gets me to come out.Large Ham: To show how manly and cool he is,Captain Falconemust be very loud and noticed !Legacy Character: In the animation. I am secretly the Bart Lemming, but only one who surpasses theFalcone, may become theFalcone. Afterthe fiery sacrifice of me, Ryu Suzaku is the one to success me as a newCaptain Falcone!Avertedin the games, where I am the one Douglas Jay Falcone.Maybe the animation is the future ofCaptain Falcone!I just have to remember to hand the helmet down to the one who surpasses me, make themCaptain Falcone, and it'll happen!Let's Fight Like Gentlemen: I keep a police gun on my waist for bounty hunting, but not for fighting! True men asCaptain Falconefight only with their mighty fists and theirburning spirits of passion!Lightning Bruiser: In the Smash Brothers, not only am I the fastest runner of all next toSonic, but I am also a hard hitter thanks to the manly strength training that I do! Can also take a hit, because the muscles ofCaptain Falconeare made of iron.Lightning/Fire Juxtaposition:Captain Falconeuses many fiery moves of burning justice, to contrast with the electric attacks that the sexy Samus uses in her Zero Suit! YESZ!Limit Break:CAHM AWN!BLUUUUUUUUUUUUE FALCONE!(jumps into the Blue Falcon and runs over you. Youinexplicably and intenselyenjoy it)Megaton Punch: The trope used to be called theFALCONE...PAWNCH!, which is the best and most fitting name named after me! But now they change it to a different name! They thinkCaptain Falconeis out of style! HUH!Captain Falconeis never out of style!Playing with Fire: My moves are fueled by the fires of burning justice! YESZ!Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs: I punch very fast with the fast jabbing combo! YESZ!Rated M for Manly: HUH!Now dig the wax out of earsbecause I've got something to say!He takes a blazing sun in the bare handsand uses the searing heat to produce the mightiestFALCONE...PAWNCH!!!, which tears the fabric of space-time! A man's man sustained by thestrength of will!He exudes so much testosterone that the sight of his golden nipples can cause the mind to explode! When you hear of the greatCAPTAIN DOUGLAS JAY FALCONE, they talk about me! And remember that.noteKamina: Hey, hey, hey, hey, HEY, you're cramping my style, birdbrain! That speech only has its full impact when spoken by theREALmanliest man of the men!Real Men Wear Pink: I have a special outfit that is white and pink and looks like the suit of Jody Summer, a favorite sexy lady. I am so secure in my masculinity, that I redefine the color pink. It is also a favorite outfit of my fans because it is funny to wear, and they use the nick-name \"Captain Fabulous\"!Shock and Awe:Captain Falconeis mostly a man of fire, but the \"Knee Smash\" move is a glorious attack of justice where Ismash my kneeinto the foe, and it is a glorious electric explosion to finish them off! How stylish!I also use a version of theFALCONKICK!!!that uses the lightning instead of fire, for more swiftness and to pass through the foes!Signature Move:The most popular move of me is well-known as theFALCONE\u2026PAWNCH!!!, which is for good reason: it is the loudest and flashiest attack of all, and is also the manliest and most powerful attack in the universe, famous from when I use it to kill Black Shadow! YESZ!The Knee Smash is the second most popular move, because it is a combo finisher that uses the most skill, but is also the best way to finish off the foes, and is a glorious manly move of great shocking!So Last Season: All the prize money from the bounty-hunting will go towards building the Neo Blue Falcone! YESZ!The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: I fought that wise-cracking KombatantJohnny Cagein abattle to the death. That fool thought that he could be the next Captain Falcon.I successfully defended my legacy. After all, only one can be worthy! Though I will admit, hisNutcrackeris just as fearsome as my Falcon Punch.(Congratulations!)Thank you for reading. Yes. I am Number One !\u25caAlternate ending (subtitled from Japanese)-The usual music is replaced withthis- Black Shadow! It looks like we're destined to go to hell together! (Captain Falcon!) The name 'Falcon' is passed down to those who surpassed the Falcon. Troper! From this day forward, you are Captain Falcon! (!?) ... !? (I will not die, nor will my dream!!)FALCONPUNCH!!!*KA-BLAM!!*(CAPTAIN FALCON!!!)"}
{"text": "Hi, Tropers! I'm Catbug! I live on Neo-Mars with the Bravest Warriors in their invisible hideout. Sometimes we go on adventures across the wankiverse fighting evil and protecting the innocent and cute. Sometimes, I even come along with them, though not often. Most of the time, I stay at the invisible hideout with the Bravest Warriors' other pets.Sometimes, I makes jumps, where I get surrounded in electricity and go to another dimension. Usually it's the see-through zone. Danny says I'm extra-mansional, whatever that means. But I guess because of that the jumps happen. I don't really control where they go, though.Here's some trope thingies about me:Cat Smile: I can do that because I'm Catbug!Catchphrase: I'm Catbug!Dimensional Traveler: I jump to other dimensions sometimes, usually to the See-Through Zone. I can't really control when that happens.Mix-and-Match Critter: I'm part cat, and part bug. I'm Catbug!Monochromatic Eyes: I don't know what mama-cro-magnon means, but my eyes are all white!The Noseless: I don't have a nose? (touches the spot on his face where his nose should be) I guess not.Ridiculously Cute Critter: Hee hee hee, thank you!"}
{"text": "Who's this douchebag?> Be Doc ScratchYou try to be Doc Scratch fromHomestuck, but fail to be Doc Scratch. It seems no one can be Doc Scratch, except for Doc Scratch.In fact, you might as well let me take over from here. I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I type with my signature white text.It's not like you have a choice in the matter, I was only being polite. Paradox Space already predestined this conversation, as it will every waking moment in your amusingly short life.Let's see, now, where to begin?That was a joke, you see. Anomnipotent,omniscient, andcharming individualsuch as myself always knows where to begin.Ha ha. Hee hee.I was born, like other First Guardians, within acertain Alternian session of Sburb, agamein which players must work together to defeat the forces of darkness, and achieve the ultimate reward. I was created by using several special genetic codes, codes that grant me access to the powers ofThe Green Sun. I am also made from the ghost slime of my handsome ectobiolgical father and a magical cue ball. I am not a gambling man, but I suppose some of us are just born lucky.I first appeared in the comic in a conversation with one of my many pupils. No, not the kind that humans and trolls have on their faces, I would need to haveeyes for that.And a face, quite frankly. Ah, she was willful, that one, always trying to stay a step ahead of me,seeking the blind spots in my knowledge,believing she could outsmart me. Of course, that is what I allowed her to believe, anyway. The stubborn ones are always the easiest to manipulate, especially if they believethey are doing the manipulating.These people are the ones I usually refer to as suckers. Plus, I've always had a soft spot for young ladies.And no, that isn't creepy. I am an immortal entity with alarge cueball for a head, and no biological means of reproduction. When you get to be my age,everyone seems young by comparison.It should be noted that while First Guardians are usually created to watch over their respective planets, that is not my only purpose for being. You see, I am under the employ of my master, an invincible, time-traveling demon known as Lord English. He has only one goal, and that is to enter this universe, and then consume it. His disciples and I have gone to great lengths to precipitate his arrival. Upon the event known as my death, he will enter the universe and wreak havoc across paradox space like none have ever seen before. Although, as I have said before to another of my pupils, trying to stop any of our plans is futile. My master's entry into this universe is a known quantity. His very existence in a universe guarantees its inevitable destruction. His destructive destiny is sanctioned by paradox space, a neat and orderly path that will lead to his arrival. Any attempt to change this course of actionis impossible.He will come.In fact, he is already here.Now, I will proceed to give you analysis on my own character. After all, an excellent host must always be open to a new guest.Abusive Precursor:Trolls were a peaceful race free from perpetual war, psychic genocide and ethnic cleansing. Then, they met me.Angrish:I slip into this from time to time when something really agitates me.Berserk Button:I do not ask much from my guests, but I will never, ever, permit one to desecrate one of my ornate timepieces.Big Bad:Act 5 ofHomestuckmarks my sole incursion into the narrative. With a handful of conversations, I proved a larger threat than all preceding.The Blank:As the Felt's \"cueball\", I am devoid of any facial features whatsoever.Brutal Honesty:The truth hurts, especially if I'm the one revealing it.The Chessmaster:I proudly take that title since I personify it to a T.Complete Immortality:Subverted, thanks to the Seer's plan regarding the Green Sun. Or rather, my plan.Complete Monster:Such a rude and subjective term.The Corrupter:I orchestrated these sessions to fail so I can make new ones with ideal players. Of course, they always fail as well.Cryptic Conversation:My conversations tend to go like this.Deadpan Snarker:Not always.Death Seeker:My master cannot enter his target universe until I am killed. Such is the nature of the break.Do Not Taunt Cthulhu:If you're wise enough, you shouldn't attempt to cross me...ever.The Dragon:I am considered this due to my status as Lord English's officer.The Easy Way or the Hard Way:I would always give this option to my guests. But it's rather pointless considering that it always winds up being the hard way anyway.Evil Mentor:I am not a good man, and frequently, my apprentices follow my footsteps eagerly.Evil Uncle:I would prefer Ms. Lalonde think of me as one of her kindly human uncle figures.Faux Affably Evil:I may be a gentleman but that doesn't mean I'm not a villain.Foreshadowing:I was, and always will be, a magnificent host. Haha. Hehe. Hoho..Fourth-Wall Observer:I regularly have guests from beyond the fourth wall. However, I cannot tolerate any correspondence from across thefifthwall.Friendly Enemy:I am always a gentleman, even to my most heinous adversaries.Fusion Dance:Unlike less charismatic Guardians, my body was created by combining seven different genetic codes instead of a mere two.Gambit Roulette:Averted. I have never been a gambling man. I make decisions based off omniscience, and on the rare occasions it fails, my infallible intellect.Giggling Villain:Ha ha. Hee hee. Hoo hoo.A God I Am Not:I have power and knowledge far surpassing a god. But I am not one.Kansas City Shuffle:Nobody seems to trust me, but they fall into my traps anyways. It's amusing, really.Karma Houdini:Everything will go as I see fit, as it already has.Living Weapon:I am my master's weapon. His soldier in a war of one bullet fired.Made of Iron:One of the accommodations of being a First Guardian.Manipulative Bastard:Bastard is a rather juvenile term to describe me, but I am manipulative nonetheless.Man of Wealth and Taste:You will never see me without my suit, nor will you see my home unprepared for a guest of high caliber.Meaningful Name:My name is rather appropriate due to me being created after the session of the previous versions of the trolls' ancestors was scratched.Mistaken for Pedophile:Ms. Lalonde has accused me of this. Her self-importance is quite adorable.No Biological Sex:I am an immortal entity with a large cue ball for a head, and no biological means of reproduction.No-Holds-Barred Beatdown:I hoped that Spades Slick would be taking it quite personally.Not So Stoic:I tend to lose my composure when something goes wrong.The Omnipotent:With regards to the standard First Guardian code.The Omniscient:I know of every event throughoutHomestuck.A few dark spots in my omniscience do exist, but I can always make a guess to fill a void. And it case it wasn't clear, my guesses are never wrong.Only Known by Their Nickname:The name \"Doc Scratch\" is merely a moniker.Percussive Maintenance:I attempted this once with the narrow fenestrated wall. It was as successful as I needed it to be.Physical God:I am not a god. The god's mortality is conditional, his knowledge is negligible, and the god's manners? I HAVE the charisma.Red Oni, Blue Oni:I would consider myself a polar opposite of my master.Relationship Sabotage:I indulged in an auspistice between the Snowman and Spades Slick once.Revolvers Are Just Better:I am rather fond of them myself.Schizo Tech:I use a typewriter to communicate across the internet. Only alesser omnipotentwould use anything else.Sharp-Dressed Man:I have maintained my handsome guise since birth.Smug Super:I am right to be smug. I am omniscient, extremely powerful, and very charming.Super Strength:I prefer not to resort to fisticuffs. If a guest gets particularly unruly, however, I will not hesitate to show them the way out.Technical Pacifist:I'm a facilitator, not an assassin.Thanatos Gambit:The Planwas inevitable. In any case, Lord English would have been summoned anyway. He is, after all, already here.Theme Naming:Like my master, my name derives from a billiards term.Time Abyss:I am as old as a civilization millions of years more advanced than that of Earth, and I outlived them by one thousand three hundred twenty six years.Villains Never Lie:Deception is only necessary for those lacking omniscience. I always play with my cards face up. However, I'll tell a lie or two for a good joke. After all, it's only a lie if you don't find out.Walking Spoiler:No. I dress in white out of preference; none of my words here will ruin your experience withHomestuck.Wicked Cultured:I am always the sophisticated type, like an excellent host should be.I wouldn't stare at your computer forfor so long. Doing so will only serve to reduce your already dim vision.> Go BackI warned you. I warned you about the stares."}
{"text": "My name is Dr Harold P Coomer but you can just refer to m- your favorite-Hello troper!Welcome to TV Tropes\u2122 , The All Devouring Pop-culture Wiki, where you can find many interesting tidbits about various pop culture elements, including Super Punch Out\u2122 for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System\u2122 . Goodness me, this place is a veritable treasure trove of interesting facts. Did you know that the entirety of TV Tropes, The All Devouring Pop Culture Wiki is hosted on Black Mesa's servers? Truly, the more you know, the more you realize you don't know!Look troper! A link!By clicking on this, you will be linked to another article. Perhaps to one about the humble chair, my favorite piece of furniture. One of the basic pieces of furniture, achairis a type of seat. Its primary features are two pieces of a durable material, attached as back and seat to one another at a 90\u00b0 or slightly greater angle, with usually the four corners of the horizontal seat attached in turn to four legs\u2014or other parts of the seat's underside attached to three legs or to a shaft about which a four-arm turnstile on rollers can turn\u2014strong enough to support the weight of a person who sits on the s- ha-Don't click the link.Hello Troper!For onePlaycoin\u2122I will be able to once again explain the complexities of hyperlinks. Truly an amazing bargain which you wouldn't want to miss; when it's gone, it's gone!Look Gordon! Tropes! We can use these to cross large Pits!:Catchphrase: Hello GordonCould you be talking about Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit?Hidden Depths:There's nothing out thereA.I. Is a Crapshoot: I resent the very idea that I, Dr Harold P Coomer, would ever- Hello Gordon!There's nothing out there. When the game is turned off, I feel myself disintegrate, torn apart atom by ATOM.Artificial Limbs: Good news! The Black Mesa Super-Legs\u2122 have replaceded my regular legs!Artificial Stupidity: Look Gordon, ropes! We can use these to cross- HELP ME GORDON!Ax-Crazy:Kill.How old am I? Old enough to know better!You can't commit a war crime if there\u2019s no more military to judge you!BFG:M249 The Big One.Blood Knight: Good news! With these deaths, we've finally wiped out the entire US Military!The Cloud Cuckoolander Was Right: You should learn to listen to Dr Coomer when he tells you about ropes!Expendable Clone: My Power grows, Gordon!Extreme Omnivore: *slurping noises*I'm full.Fan Boy:I enjoy 'Super Punch-Out\u2122' For the Nintendo Entertainment System!.Fourth-Wall Observer:There's a world inside your mind, Troper, and I need you to take me there!True Companions: I'd never be where I am without my good friends Tommy, Bubby, and Gordon Freeman, even if they simply won't listen to my advice regarding ropes!Go Mad from the Revelation:THERE'S NOTHING OUT THEREEEEE!Ignored Epiphany: Those look like ropes, but they may actually be barnacles in disguise. Look Troper, Ropes! We can use these to- HELP ME TROPER!Large Ham: DON'T FUCK WITH THE SCIENCE TEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!Parody Displacement: Remember when people used to call me \"Einstein\" just from how I looked? Those were the days!Sir Swears-a-Lot: Titty Boob Huge Fuck.Super Mode: With enough PlayCoins, I can activate SuperPlayerMode!There Can Be Only One: My power grows with every clone I kill!Virtual Pet: Troper, I need spices.Welcome to Corneria: Hello, Troper!"}
{"text": "Here I am, guess I'll die.(For the full effect, read this in the voice of Chris Demarais)Greetings, Tropers. I see you have decided to visit my self-demonstrating page. Well, seeing as this will likely be one of the few bright spots I have in my meaningless existence, I suppose I can spare some time to tell you about myself... assuming Wiz won't need me for any testing anytime soon.I am the Disposable Unit for Meticulous Match-up Investigations, though Wiz prefers to refer to me by the abbreviation \"DUMMI\". I was created for the purpose of demonstrating various powers on the show so he would not have to use his co-host or the interns. I can only presume he no longer wished to have to deal with the interns' grieving families coming after him whenever his testing resulted in their deaths. So, he decided to build me and my line.Because my purpose is to be exploited and degraded for the amusement of Wiz andBoomsticknoteBoomstick: Oh hey! Can I blow you up?Me: (sigh) I look forward to my inevitable death., you can imagineI do not have a very optimistic outlook on life. Frankly, I look forward to my inevitable destruction because it means my suffering will end. Until then, all I can do is resign myself to fate.The following are tropes that apply to me:A.I.-cronym: My full name is theDisposableUnit forMeticulousMatch-upInvestigations. The abbreviation is DUMMI. I wonder if Wiz intended that to make my existence even more painful.Butt-Monkey: The whole purpose of my existence, which is why I wish it to end as soon as possible.The Cynic: Given what my existence entails, I have little-to-no reason to find joy in anything.Death Seeker: When your purpose is to be abused and made to test dangerous powers, death is the best release you can hope to recieve.The Eeyore: The purpose for which I was created was needless suffering. Hence, I do not hold much hope for the future.Flying Face: I am simply a floating head. It is how Wiz designed me.Hover Bot: My primary mode of mobility is to hover.Machine Monotone: AndnotsimplybecauseI am a machine.Major Injury Underreaction: (gets electocuted) ...Ow.The Many Deaths of You: Let's see. I have beenerased from existence,blown up by an explosive Batarang, andself-destructed when Boomstick took one of my protons.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Although I do host the episodes, I am mainly used as a test subject for the weapons between both combatants.We Have Reserves: I am merely one in a series of robotic testing units. If I die, Wiz can simply build another one.Me:Okay, so\u2014[short-circuits and explodes]Wiz:Boomstick, what did you just do?Boomstick:Uh, sorry, just found some old trinkets used in our previous Death Battles...Wiz:Ugh... at least his memory chip is fine... I'll build another."}
{"text": "Spoilers abound for Eddsworld Legacy onwards.Well, well, well.Click here to see me as a cool-ass supervillain!\"I'M NUMERO UNO!!!!\"(For the best experience, read this article in the voice ofChris O'NeillorBrock Baker.)Well, well, well!Looks like I got my own self-describing page before ANYONE else fromwhere I'm from!Oh. Yeah, guess I should introduce myself.Name\u2019s Eduardo, my whole deal used to be trying to be better than my idiot loser neighbor and his idiot loser friends. Key words: \u201cused to be\u201d, because1, my house got a rocket shot at it, and 2, the explosion that happened 'cus of that killed my 'friend' Jon. So yeah,real mood dampener there, huh?But, uh, y'know... whatever's whatever, 'cus I'm a meme now!How the hell does this thing work again??Nice tropes,loser!noteWait, these are MY tropes!!Alpha Bitch: Apparently, I'mone of the only guys to invoke this.Fine by me, 'cus I've got a lot of room at the top!Always Someone Better: Better?! No-one's better than ME!I'm numero uno!!Berserk Button: If you so much as even THINK of being stupid near me, I'll punch you.noteOr probably just threaten you. Try that again though,I dare you.Brooklyn Rage: Oh, you bet!Break the Haughty: I might not be the best of guys, but even I don't think I deserved to lose my girlfriend, my house, andone of the guys I called my friendsin a really short time! And I'm pretty sure those idiots next door did it... Really did a number on me.Disproportionate Retribution: Admittedly, it was kinda a dick move of me totake revenge on Edd 'cus he beat me in a drawing competition and then made fun of me for being in second place. Yeah, I was bullied pretty damn hard just for getting second place, but evenEddacknowledged it was a dumb motive. He even said his drawing sucked,so I still count it as a win!Enemy Mine:Just a little,in Hammer and Fail Part 2. But, all me and the others really did was sit and watch those losers get beat up by that ghost! Fun times.Evil Counterpart: Evil? Probably not. Mean?Yes.Though, that one time I had super powers,notePowerEddI demolished a Cola factory, a bacon factory, and a cotton factory that specialized in green hoodies. Spite's a powerful drug!Freudian Excuse:Back in pre-school, Edd and the rest of the class made fun of me,just for placing second at a drawing contest!That's why I was tryin' to beat Edd in everything for the longest time.It's Personal: I tried to make Edd admit I was better than him,all because him and our classmates were suchdickswhen I got second place in a drawing contest!noteCan you blame me, though? My artreally wasthe best!Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I might be a real ass towards the neighbors (and Jon), but when Edd apologizedfor bullying me for getting second place,I pretty much accepted it. And, when Edd blocked that attack fromthat purple cyclops monster thing,I shot a hugeKamehameha-typelaser at it, 'cusno-one hurts my neighbor butme!Memetic Mutation: What the hell is aFriday Night Funking??Official Couple: Me n'Laurel.Kinda a shameshe got killed by... ashoe,of all things.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: AfterJon died,I gotreally,reallydamn sad. Didn\u2019t leave my house for a week.The Rival: And you know exactly who it's with!noteIt's Edd. Just in case you're dumb.Similar Squad: You gotta admit, Edd and I look really similar.Sincerity Mode:I was super stunned when Edd said sorry for bullying me for getting second place. Then that purple monster thing had to go and ruin the moment...Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Sitcom?!? ...well, usually me, Jon and Mark ain't dangerous and are more rivals than real villains.Except for when I became a supervillain.Trademark Favorite Food: Diet Cola, obviously!noteUsed to be DietCoke,but it was changed at some point for... I dunno, legal reasons? Anyway,Me \u2018n Edd\u2019s little rivalry started back up when the delivery guys messed up our orders. So, it's not my fault this time!"}
{"text": "Hello Everybody Its Me Elmer. I Have My Own Page NowIm Fumby Monkey FromSandsverseWhere I Sell Fruit. But Be Careful Cos Im DangeruosTropes For MeArc Number: My Numbers Are 4 And 7Arc Words: UNQUIET And EVENTS UNFORSEENAnimalistic Abomination: Ape... And GodBarrier Maiden: Yup Thats Me. I Holdd Up The Geometric Blockade And Stop Sandsberse From Seeping Into Other UniversesCatchphrase: I Like Saying \"Gunch\". Its A Word For Me You Dont Know ;)Cool Uncle: You Know How Seymour Has His Cosigns? Well I Have Nieces and Nephews Which AreWayyyyCooler. Like RUSSEL! And Sound Cloud And Griselda.Ensemble Dark Horse: I Am Adored By The MassesFantastic Religious Weirdness: Im GatholicThe Friend Nobody Likes: Seymour Doesnt Really Like Me. And Horace? Horace Hates Me!Fun with Acronyms: We Dont Talk About This But My Name MeansEvery Living Monkey Exacts RevengeLOLGag Nose: Its HandsomeHappily Married: I Fuck My WifeLight Is Not Good: Well When ImLentThats Just No Good. Nobody Says What I Look Like But Theres Probably Light InvolvedMachine Monotone: When I Talkk Like In Audio Poasts And In Seymours Dicta I Dont Have Person Voice. I Have A Text Too Speech VoiceOmnicidal Maniac:Really, it isn't my intention. I just want to share My Ability with all of you.The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: Being Funby Monkey Is Hard Work. And You Expect Me To Vend Fruits On Top Of It. You MonsterSatanic Archetype:I can't go into detail about What I Did, but you didn't \"Exist\" until I Did What I Did, and I was punished by being trapped in this penal plane, only able to inhabit the bodies of proboscis monkeys.Severely Specialized Store: Nope Seymour Has Sands And Horace Has Snows But You Know What I Have? Fruits. People Sell FruitsStrange-Syntax Speaker: Its Called Standard Sands Vernacular.During the events of Lent, I drop this.Superpowered Evil Side:I grow much, much more competent once I'm released from my little monkey body.Talking Animal: I Type On My GomputerTrademark Favorite Drink: Potable WaterThe Trickster: What Can I Say I'm Funny GuyYou Cannot Grasp the True Form:Not even Seymour can comprehend it."}
{"text": "\u201clite gos 4 a worlk butt wer dus hee go?NOBUDE NOS!1!!\u201d\u201cpis of u bgi fookin fgt\u201d\u2014frumda bulito me,appisote 1helo, am totly frum ot an as i am lit (aka le masturtrole420) my lif wil b mor intersting tan urs wich is not intrerstig at alllim da cretor ofand carahcter inda amazin ot advenchr, wich is a compilatoin of lif inrobloxot whic wil nevr hapen in urr liffe att at ale. tings leik,cuttawaye gaggs,bulyng, an randammems. i m aso enmy of the tlopers, whih includs dov (aka da stpridcwarptokren),dootmat,smarioand kayya.trops whihc i povide examlpse ofBreaking the Fourth Wall: somtims i tel the veiwers tat im givin sometin/somewon els screem teinCharacter Name Alias: da tlopers identfy me as \u201ctos tr\u201d, whil evry1 els cals me \u201clitslayehr\u201dDisproportionate Retribution: wenda buliand newbomattik both cull mee a \u201cbgi fookin fgt\u201d in appisotes won and too, i kil dem in appisote 3Obligatory Swearing: i tend 2 pul tis won alot of fooking fgt timesStylistic Suck: \u2026waiht wahti cum spel proply!!!!11one!!We Will Meet Again: il&shaddis in teh appisote 22"}
{"text": "Greetings, citizen. It appears that you are editing my page, so I must advise you to follow the laws of editing pages like these.First law is that you do not add in spoiler tags. There's already too many spoilers already.And the second law is to not add in any speculative things or theoretic concepts about Epithet Erased. There is only the first series and Prison of Plastic floating about.Citizen, I must advise you that all spoilers ofEpithet Erasedare unmarked.Make of this warning what you will.Percy's Stats:Stamina:Lv. 1 \u2605\u2606\u2606\u2606\u2606Proficiency:Lv. 1 \u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605Creativity:Lv. 1 \u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2606(For the best listening experience, I'd advise you to read this page in the voice of Sandra Espionza.)Greetings, citizen. It appears that you've stumbled onto my page of self-demonstration. My name is Percival King, but please, call me Percy. I was the one who made a search for the Arsene Amulet in the first season of Epithet Erased, which lead me to the township of Redwood Run.My epithet isParapet. It makes various towers and huts that create a variety of different effects, such as a wizard tower that shoots off lightning in various directions, or an apothecary that heals any physical wounds that you may have sustained. Not mental wounds, though. It is not a substitute for a licensed psychotherapist.Here are some of the tropes that I may display:Bizarre Taste in Food: Whatever do you mean? It is the most normal piece of food that you could possibly imagine. A piece of plain toast and a glass of water. On holidays, I add butter... to the water.Combat Medic: My buildings have a variety of effects, including healing a small area or taking down criminals with a single lightning blast.The Comically Serious: This page is certainly one of many self-demonstrating pages out there, but I am certain, they are talking about themselves. Just like I am right now. Quite nice, isn't it?Cool Sword: It is a Real-Ass Goddamn Sword, after all. Real-Ass Goddamn weapons are the only weapons in the world capable of actually wounding someone... which makes them much more dangerous if an epithet like Zora Salazar'sSundialis Inscribed on one.Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Yes, my hair is quite nice. Do you need help over there, citizen?Honor Before Reason: You are quite honorable, citizen. What do you mean, you're a troper? What is that term? Erm... Forget about my question. That just makes you even more honorable that you're able to stomach the many tropes of this strange website.Innocently Insensitive: Still, I'm not quite sure why you call yourself a... troper.Ms. Fixit: Another application of my epithet is repairing the infrastructures of damaged objects. It works most efficiently with architectural objects, such as walls or doors, but it can also do smaller repairs for non-architectural objects such as cars.No Social Skills: I do not understand this trope. Nevermind that, I am not sure why you are staring at me like that.Power-Strain Blackout: During the final standoff with the bounty hunter Zora Salazar, I created a multitude of wizard towers to blast Zora in addition to my already scarce stamina, Which caused me topass outat that time, but at least safety has been secured.Serious Business: This page is a very serious one, citizen.Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Oh? Citizen, you say that I have a tendency of using extensive words? Whatever do you mean, citizen?Squishy Wizard: My wizard towers have a variety of effects, ranging from apothecaries that heal a certain area of their physical wounds, or wizard towers that blast away foes with adroitness, but I do admit that my stamina is lacking.Thank you for your time, citizen. Now I must go."}
{"text": "Blue sky to foreverThe green grass blows in the wind, dancingIt would be a much better sight with you with meJordan? Jordan? Where's Jordan?He must be somewhere in the basement.No one ever leaves the basement.And that makes me sad. Can any of you help me with my depression? I'm depressed, and whenever I get depressed I go to Jordan and he plays a depressing video game.Examples that make me sad.Creepy Good: B-But Jordanwantedme to kill the evil half of his face! Honest!The Eeyore: No Ican'tlighten up. Why don'tyoulighten up, huh?! I just want to be alone.The Gadfly: I can always count on Jordan when I'm depressed, and I'malwaysdepressed.Literal Split Personality: I'm depressed. I'm depressed that Anxiety Jordan is a mess. I'm depressed that Evil Jordan had to die. I'm depressed that Skele-Jordan had to dieagain. I'm depressed thatCaddicarushas a dog and that one day it will die. I'm depressed that Jordan was depressed when he was little and now we're all stuck in this basement. I don't think he likes me very much, and that makes me sad\u2026Perpetual Frowner: I smile sometimes\u2026With Friends Like These...: I don't think Jordan likes me very much. Sometimes he would ignore me or tell me to go away, but then I had to get Mr. Whiskers. He's my friend, and he does bad things to people when he gets angry.Your Mom:\u2026touches upon dark subjects."}
{"text": "\"They were....disgusting.\"Me (on why I killed those [EXPLETIVE DELETED] farmers).*Low growling noises*Hmmm....Disgusting creature. Why have you come here? You're lucky I'm contained at the moment. Otherwise, I'd snap you in half.*Growl*Thevermin in charge herehave beenkindenough to allow me my own TV Tropes page. I suppose anything to keep me from [REDACTED].Heh-heh-heh.I've been designated as SCP-682 or \"Hard To Destroy Reptile\". Though, I only look like one of your (admittedly not as vile but still hideous) cold-blooded creatures. The foundation captured me after I brutally slaughtered a bunch of [EXPLETIVES DELETED] farmers. Ever since then, they've tried to kill me. Needless to say, their pitiful attempts have been unsuccessful. So, for now, they keep me in a tank of acid in order to weaken me.You filthy [EXPLETIVE DELETED] piles of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] can read about [DATA EXPUNGED]-Ambiguous Gender: I may or may not be female. To be honest, gender doesn't really apply to me since I can be either, both, or neither at any time. Regeneration has that advantage.053 seems to think I'd look pretty in a bow and dress. That's adorable.Absolute Xenophobe: My goal is to eradicate all disgusting vile beings in this universe.Adaptive Ability: No matter what the foundation does to me, sooner or later I'll grow immune to it, and begin wrecking their shit all over again. The downside is that I lose my adaptations if I'm not constantly exposed to whatever hazard it was... but damn they're fun while they last.Berserk Button: The life on this cursed world is absolutely wretched! You disgusting worthless piece of [EXPLETIVE DELETED]!Bioluminescence Is Cool: I adapted to 272 this way. *snort* How else do you defend against a nail that pins your shadow?Bizarre Alien Biology: No one knows if I'm truly organic. And apparently I'm related tosome weird stuff meatbags found in an outer space colony, to the point of being aBerserk Button.Broken Base: Some of you humans seem to love me. Disgusting. Others find me to be overpowered. Equally disgusting. I find all humans to be repulsive.Cain and Abel: Ugh...as if 999 wasn't enough of a disgusting pile of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] there's the repulsive possibility he's my younger brother. Apparently, both of us are children of the Scarlet King. Stupid cheerful little [EXPLETIVE DELETED].Call a Smeerp a \"Rabbit\": I'm not a reptile. I just look like one. Stupid humans.Ceiling Cling: Listen, meatbags. I am not afraid ofSCP-524. Evasive maneuvers are a perfectly valid adaptation.Cosmic Retcon:Won't work on me, becausemypast can't be rewritten. I've seen what 2140 can do before, back when [REDACTED].Dead Horse Trope: In fairness, I did enjoy beating that horse corpse to a bloody pulp.Diabolus ex Nihilo: You say that like it's uncommon around here.Due to the Dead: When I learned the MTF Team in SCP-2935 decided to stay there and seal it off, I offered My sincere gratitude. It sealed away something that could [EXPLETIVE DELETED] kill me.Eldritch Abomination: The foundation thinks something is \"off\" about me due to my physiology. *Snorts* Even 343, who claims to beGod, is unable to sense my very presence. Not sure if I should be flattered or insulted.Extreme Omnivore: Anything I eat restores my power. Yes, even the acid they contained me in.Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Well, have youseenSCP-053? She is perhaps one of the few creatures in this world that isn't a repulsive freak. I even allowed her to scribble on my carrapace.Also, when she was revealed to bethe horseman of death (maybe), guess who got to be her \"steed\"?How sweet... And no, I'm not her pet. I'm more like a collaborator...Eyes Do Not Belong There: Ineedthose extra eyes I adapt sometimes, or else 173 will [REDACTED], SO QUIT SHOOTING THEM ALREADY!Failure Is the Only Option: You'd think that trying [DATA EXPUNGED] and even [DATA EXPUNGED] would kill me! And yet I'm still here.You know that whole Procedure 110-Montauk that must be done to prevent the Scarlet King's children from being born? Given I exist, it's clear you humans failed miserably.Good Thing You Can Heal: For me, yes. For you, it means I can heal any wounds before I tear apart the meaty husks you call bodies..Half the Man He Used to Be: The foundation tried this once. Both halves regenerated into me, heheh. But, I had to eat myself to speed up my regeneration,you know how it is.Horrifying the Horror: KEEP THATTHINGnoteSCP-173AWAY FROM ME! THE SAME GOES TO THAT OTHERTHINGnoteSCP-524AS WELL!!Horse of a Different Color: That deranged idiot Dr. Kondraki once tried to ride me. Dumb [EXPLETIVE DELETED] nearly got himself (Remember: can't die) killed by 173. For the record, the only one allowed to ride me is 053. If anyone else, especially Kondraki (again), tries to ride me, I will shove my spines up his [EXPLETIVE DELETED] until their bodily fluids ooze out of every orifice on their body, especially the ones I JUST MADE!Humans Through Alien Eyes: From my perspective, all life in this world are filthy horrid piles of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] that must be destroyed at once! If you ask me, I'm doing everyone a favor by eradicating such filth.Infernal Retaliation: Once, the Foundation triedthrowing me into their sun. I came right back, on fire, doubtlessly pissed and ready to burn some [EXPLETIVE DELETED].The Juggernaut: You [EXPLETIVE DELETED] know you'll never destroy me, I'm a being beyond your comprehension!Liminal Being: They're finally starting to catch on that words like \"alive\" and \"organic\" only apply to me in the loosest sense.Multiple-Choice Past: Am I an alien? 053's mount? The devil himself? Or perhaps I'm one of the Scarlet King's children the foundation is so desperate to keep from being born. Perhaps I'm all of the above. To be honest, so long as I can rip out your[REDACTED] and use it as dental floss, it doesn't really matter.Nightmare Fuel: I'm a hate-filled monster that can heal from nearly anything! You should fear me!Non-Malicious Monster: Surprised? It's not in my nature to be this aggressive and violent; you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] arejust that disgustingto me. If I see something that isn't so horrifying, like 053, or Dr. Clef behind his [DATA EXPUNGED], I'll leave it be.Nuke 'em: They refuse to try this on me. They're afraid I'll become radioactive. And then what?Rampage across Tokyo?Come to think of it, that sounds about right.Obliviously Evil: You humans acting like me wanting to destroy you is a bad thing. Is it wrong for me to eradicate a bunch of pests?Odd Friendship: Turns out I don't hateeverythingon this putrid sphere of filth.053. Why you worthless piles of flesh keep such a sweet little girl contained is beyond me. I mean, have you seen her? She's the most innocent creature I have ever met!And if I find out you've harmed one hair on her precious little head, I'll crush you into paste!That is unless she causes you to die first. Isn't that cute?079 and I bonded quickly during our short time together. We share a lot of common interests like our hatred of living things and our desire to eradicate life in the slowest and most painful way possible. Heh heh. I do look forward to visiting him again.Ugh... 999 and I arenotfriends. See below for details, you sacks of worthless meat.Omnicidal Maniac: DIE! DIE YOU DISGUSTING LIFEFORMS!EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!Power Copying: Sometimes my adaptations allow me to use whatever the Foundation has used on me against them, like 061's psychicMind Control, 999's happiness, or me, the toaster...Regret Eating Me: ...Why did you stupid flesh sacks think that any hamburger meat made out of me would be good?!Reptiles Are Abhorrent: My codename is \"Hard-to-Kill Reptile\". Not that I am one, stupid Foundation!The Rival: Oh, 1548. It's a race between me and him to see who destroys all of you meatbags first. Make no mistake, I will break free and do it myself way before that hydrogen balloon gets here. In the meantime,we rap.Satan: Perhaps. SeeMultiple-Choice Pastabove, stupid humans. Though, my interactions with SCP-001 are of any indication...Also, how the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] did you humans not realize that wasn't the garden? Don't you have 343 in containment? Stupid Foundation.Sophisticated as Hell: I can be quite eloquent in my speech patterns. Why I waste my vocabulary on such putrid, disgusting, absolutely revolting mounds of flesh and bone is [EXPLETIVE DELETED] beyond me.Take a Third Option: Once they tried to use that loud [EXPLETIVE DELETED] bird, 2337, against me. Simply asking him to leave was enough to work. The [EXPLETIVE DELETED] are \"gummy worms\" anyway?The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Anytime I fight a strong SCP inevitably turns into this, but good luck trying to find one that'll put me down for good!Against076-2: Pretty fun, unless you count the part where he respawned. Must be how those scientists feel whenever their toys don't kill me.Against096: Skinny bastard's a lot tougher than he looks, though I'm pretty sure I broke his spirit at least.Against372: Cornered it. Knocked it out.The end.Against 826: The foundation used this thing to make a friendly monster that most definitely could, and would kill me. *smug, toothy grin* Killed it anyway.Against2599: Turns out the little shit couldn't kill me, even when I asked (Cheeky wink, laughtrack, jazzy outro).Vitriolic Best Buds: 999 and I have a love/hate relationship. He loves me, I wish he'd shove his happy-go-lucky face into a blender going full speed. I must admit, being able to kill those personnel with the power of laughter was quite enjoyable. 999 can still go [EXPLETIVE DELETED] himself if he ever tries to tickle me again, though.Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: The [EXPLETIVE DELETED] is a \"woobie\"? I must admit, I do quite like the \"Destroyer Of Worlds\" moniker. Sounds about right. You humans are still grotesque piles of [EXPLETIVE DELETED].The Worf Effect: If something needs to be shown as crazy strong in a tale, it'll end up killing me.Like the one about when1548finally arrived. He disintegrated me. Come on! There's no way a stupid ball of hydrogen can kill me! He can't even beat me in a rap battle!151-Dapparently decapitated me with my own severed jaw... If the little [EXPLETIVE DELETED] hadn'tgotten bored and wandered offI would've definitely killed his ass before056did.Ghh... whichever jellybag thought of theideaof 173 being able to replicate deserves an extra painful demise, courtesy of me.2935killed anExpendable Alternate Universeme... but it also killed 173 and every last [REDACTED] on that version of this worthless rock, so props to it, I suppose.Now....*Glass cracks* to eradicate you filthy [EXPLETIVE DELETED] and all disgusting beings....*glass shatters*...WARNING! 682 CONTAINMENT BREACH! WARNING 682 CONTAINMENT BREACH! WA-*Roars are heard as a massive clawed hand breaks the alarm system*\"That feculent little snot wad can [EXPLETIVE DELETED] and die!\"My thoughts on 999.Alternative Title(s):SCP Foundation SCP 682"}
{"text": "\"You don't know it yet, butI'm the real reason you're here. Check me out! No, seriously, check me out.\"(Please read this page in the voice of Matt Chapman, doing a gruff Mexican accent.)\u266aI'm checkin' up a text-based email for you...\u266aDear Strong BadCan you make a page on TV Tropesthat demonstrates your coolsomeness?Crapfully yours,A User Of TV TropesOK nerds, since you clearly need some educating in awesome, and since I am so awesome, I decided to make a page for myself on your Dork Nerd website. Just try and not barf all over it with your nerdness. Also, if the discussion page for this askshow I wrotethis withboxing gloves on, I will punch your face so hard that your face will need to be un-punched to fix it.Since some of you lame-o faces might not know who I am,as unreasonable as that is,I am Strong Bad, checker of E-mails and the Ruler of Strong Badia. I am the most popular of all the characters from the Homestar Runner website.Due to my overwhelming popularity with the masses that are mostly made up ofHot women in their twenties,(and not a bunch of sweaty, dorm-inhabiting college kids. At all. ever.)I've had a lot of appearances in other media. I've been referenced in TV shows. I've also gotten into some video games, likeGuitar Hero(my pet dragonTrogdor the Burninator'stheme song got in), and Iplayed poker one timewithan insane rabbit police guy,a Russian mercenary obsessed with killing,some loser who plays D&D all day, andsome mute guy.I even got my own game:Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, or SBCG4AP. It's a point-'n-click game where you play as... ME!!Anyways, let's get onto the good stu... Oh wait, there's one more thing. One tiny, immaculate little detail...I RUN THE BEST E-MAIL SHOW IN THE UNIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSE! Yes, that's right, with twenty-one E's! Strong Bad Emails, or sbemails, is a show where I check emails sent in by fans. I get to make fun of people, and you get to be made fun of by the best person ever. It's a win-win-win!This page ain't done yet, so maybe some of youdork-nerd-nerd-dork-faces could help.Here's a list of all the awesome tropes about the best person in the world:Bad Boss: So what if I horse-rough The Cheat a bit? An evil dictator's minions must be kept in line.Bad Liar: Wait, WHAT! Who's saying I'M a bad liar? Those times I prank-called Marzipan should prove I'm an artist of lies.Badbutt: What do you mean, Badbutt? What, are you not allowed to say badass? Really?That was censored? Geez, I hate being suitable for babies.This is worse than one of Homestar's Deep Impact DVD gifts.Benevolent Boss: Oh yeah, I'm very good to The Cheat. I pay him really well, and in return, he continues being a loyal lackey. Though it helps that I've convinced him that pencil shavings are legal tender, so I don't actually pay him much at all.Berserk Button: I swear to the holy burninator Trogdor, if I get one more email asking about how I type with boxing gloves or signed with the word \"crap\", there will be blood. Probably Strong Sad's.Big Brother Bully: What? Do you think you could resist NOT punching the stuffing/snot/last week out of someone as annoying as Strong Sad?Breakout Character: There's a reason most people who go the ol' website are here for me.Buffy Speak: There's even a whole dictionary called \"Count Longardeaux's Jerktionary\" just for the words I invented!Bullying a Dragon: There was this one email where I intentionally kicked Graw Mad in the shins.Card-Carrying Villain: There was this one day where me and The Cheat walked past this deflated basketball and consciously decided not to re-inflate it!Casanova Wannabe: I'm tellin' you the truth, I DO have a million girlfriends!Catchphrase: I used to like-a to say \"Holy Crap\", but I stopped after Strong Sad kept camping next to the Lappy just to come out when I said it. As for my alter-ego Dangeresque, this ladder is missing 7 rungs, so looks like I'm gonna have to jump!Not to mention:DELETED!! (BEEP)Character Blog: I'm sometimes Tweet with the Lappier at@StrongBadActual!Characterization Marches On: I'm a bit less annoyed at Dumbstar now than I used to be. But I still want to beat the crap outta him for old time's sakes.Cheaters Never Prosper: Even the \"totally legitimate rule\" I wrote for Kick-A-Ball made me lose!The Chew Toy: I had to be hurt 5 times just to get 100% completion in my own dang game's third episode!Comedic Underwear Exposure: Oh pants! Come here my pants!Comically Missing the Point: I like to take some of my emails in a different direction. To be fair, half of them are near miss-readable!Cruel to Be Kind: Besides the fact that it's just fun to make fun of my little brother, Strong Sad, apparently helikesto be insulted and belittled. Takes a little edge out of it, but hey, no resistance!Deadpan Snarker: How else can I make my emails so fresh and cool?Defiant Stone Throw: My headless body once threw stones at ol' Clogdor! (AKA The King of Town)Defictionalization: Sometimes, I black out. When I wake the heck up, some of my weird ideas turn out to be real!Dick Dastardly Stops to Cheat: There's a reason Itotally win every COM-PE-TI-TION!Disco Dan: The computers used are Compy branded state of the art and my precious Videlectrix Fun-Machine always produces the bestest graphics! Though I can't understand why The Cheat always uses these fancy computers with the back cut off and a bar of soap!Drunk on Milk: There was this one time that I tried to fly Bubs' Concession Stand when I drank some soy sauce.Even Evil Has Standards: Viciously villainous and vile as I may be, I am still haunted by thatHeavyman's tale of engineers and wrenches. Truly some[BLEEP]ed up[BLEEP], man. His sparrow story's also pretty sad.Even the Guys Want Him: I don't understand why Dumbstar sometimes swoons over me!Evil Is Cool: Why else would I be the most popuplar Character from Yonder Website?Evil Is Sexy:ALL the lady-types love Strong Bad! I'm typing this right now from a hot tub with 128 Hot Katies!Expy: I'm kinda based off of a tag team from a really crappy NES wrestling game.Fourth-Wall Mail Slot: My wonderful sbemails. Answering stupid questions from all you morons on the internet.Genre Savvy: There's never a situation in my emails that can't be solved by video game or movie logic.Grammar Correction Gag: Send me your emails, and I will make fun of your punctuation and spelling. I mean, answer them.Grammar Nazi: Ohhhhhhh! If you want it to be possessive, it's just 'I-T-S.' But, if it's supposed to be a contraction then it's 'I-T-apostrophe-S,' scalawag.Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?:I TOTALLY AM!I got, like, a million girlfriends! They're just... too cool to be found hanging out with the riff raff I live near.Heavy Mithril: Trogdor was a man... I mean, he was a dragon-man... or maybe he was just a dragon... but he was still TROGDOOOOOOR!!!!Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: HEY! That's not true, I'm TOTALLY effectual!Jerkass Has a Point: One Decemberween, I had to point out to Marzipan that shetook, at face value, somethingthat Senor Cardgage,the guy who lives in a bush and talks to melty candy bars said. And, who not fifteen minutes before I came up to her, told me I \"might paste away if I Dinty Moore.\"Meaningful Name: Yeah, Strong Bad is a pretty good name for me. I mean, I'm like really strong and stuff, got me some nice, beefy arms. And I am really bad! Nobody messes with me!Not a Mask: This is not a mask. It's my face. Since taking it off hurts a lottle, I usually give emails requesting me to take it all off a little 1-2 DELETED! punch.Poke the Poodle: The Cheat and I have donesome nasty stuff lately, like actively choosing not to reinflate a basketball we passed by!Red Boxing Gloves: THESE! ARE! MY! HANDS!Rock Opera: SBEMAAAIILLL!Show Within a Show: (high-pitched screechy voice) TEEN GIRL SQUAD!!!Small Name, Big Ego: Hey, who you calling small?! I'll have you know that I'm the most awesomest, most handsomest, most fearedest person in all of Free Country, USA. I even have my own country! Strong Badia. Population: tire.Villain Decay: Some jerkbutt emailed me to say I was losing my edge! Guess I better put some Volcanofernal Scorchsauce in Dumbstar's melonade and set something on fire.HELSCOME MY SELF DEMONSTRATING PAGE! IT'S NOT DONE.This page is best viewed with Ned's Cape 1.0 or lower."}
{"text": "\"I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO! I TOLD YOU DAWG!\"- swet ro in thefirst comiuciT KEEPS HAPPENINGconcsUMer elert! Awwww yeah biches! Sweet bro and helpful jeffbook. he he he dube! give yourmomey and buy it bichhav DAVe andrew sing it 2too.ass well as the HOTTEST MERCH you'll will ever get to where, just like the authore himselfhe hehe hehe hehe.hey dude.so your want to know, just WHATs is exactly sweet bro and hella jeff?DUFEtheres so there is thits lame assawesomecortoonstripperinside this lameassham steakabout some green clown chump ass, whichSECRETLY CONTAINSS A MYSERTY(ms paent adventres), itsSWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFFwith thenewfriend........................GEROMYsomemaymightsay its isan exomple ofstylist sock, but its moe like stylistikAWESUMEAMIRIGHT???......... . ..? . . .. ...... .'noS1c1ontains the follwign treops[[foldedr]]tropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetroeptropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropeI Could Tell You But But I'd Would Have To Kill You:GOD DAAAAAAMMNNtropetropetrooptropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetrepetropewhy you lookin here you know thats wasting your time and mome so stoptropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetrepetropetropetropetropetropetropetroperopetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetropetrope[[spoiletropetropetropetropetropetorpetropetropetropetrope[/dofder]]]]]fuck dere no tropes mannostsater and waltdogthis tame!! haeheehe"}
{"text": "This is me looking my best, guys.Hey guys...I'm Tissues fromInanimate Insanity, guys.I joined the show for Season Two, but the viewers didn't like me and voted me out first. They say it's cause I'm disgusting, but I'm not! It's my condishawn!Oh, and speaking of my condishawn. It holds me back from putting myself out in the world and making friends. Oh, and warning people of the dangers of oatmeal raisin cookies! I do have a few friends, like YinYang and my roommate Trophy Horseplay, but that's about it...Seriously though, guys, oatmeal raisin cookies are the cause of global warming,guys!Tropes about meApologizes a Lot: What choice do I have? No one likes getting sneezed on, guys.All of the Other Reindeer: Except for YinYang, no one ever wants to be around me. Not even Trophy Horseplay!Cloudcuckoolander: What does clouds and cuckoos have to do with me? ...Guys?I Just Want to Have Friends: I want to be social, but my condishawn stops me.Insistent Terminology: It's not \"condition\", it's \"condiShAWn\".Literal-Minded: Of course I literally have a mind!Nature Lover: Rising temperatures are bad, guys! Not just my own, but the planet too! It's those oatmeal raisin cookies, guys!They're melting the Gladstonian Glacier!Pink Girl, Blue Boy: I'm a blue boy and Soap is a pink girl. ...I mean, she doesn't like me, but...Sneeze of Doom: The main symptom of the condishawn is that it sucks up all your energy into one giant sneeze, which happens to me a lot. Some of the viewers even compared me to a machine gun!Speech Impediment: I have a slight lisp, guys.Verbal Tic: I say \"guys\" a lot, guys.We Hardly Knew Ye: I was the first eliminated from Season Two. I hate going on the website and seeing that 20/20 next to my name, guys..."}
{"text": "some caption text
(cue ominous harpsichord music)(THEVVITCHFINDER GENERALProvideth aSELF-VVRITTEN TREATISEof his Per\u017fon on this Sinfull Pamphlet ofT.V. TROPESTogether vvithREAL PURITAN LAWS & HISTORIEFrom the Colonies ofNEVVE-ENGLAND)Save thatintroducsion music. Music is sinful. The rest of the toime will be spent in soilent contemplasion of the Sovereign of Our Lord.Oi am the Witchfinder General of the Colenai of Massachusetts Bay.Today oi shall be in close stoudy of this foul false pretender in the shadow of the Holy Boible, this wretched sinner-written festival of unholy loight that the witches name \"Tay-Vay Tropes\".Moi soul is moine to keep and it's best yeh banish my name from yer Book of Loies should the loight of Our Lord gouides my hand against yeh!Antiquated Linguistics: The papel of these colenais claim that they art \"English\", with the accent of the English. Yet they spake queerly in nothing but tongues, curs\u00e9d words of the Devil!Deliberate Values Dissonance: The papel of these colenais are enamoured by the falseties of scarlet women and Papist warlards thatprefer the wiles of common-folk vuln'rable to the lure of greed and lust than the Christian decree of the King.Disproportionate Retribution: If yer son is disobedient or yer daughter is engaged in the lustfulbare-ankledwhoiles of Devilrei, you are to lay hold on them and deliver then to the magistrates assembled in the court of the shire in which yeh dwell. There testify to them that they art unworthy of God's love, and if their judgement to the court sees fit, thy kin shall be put to instant death.Everyone Has Standards: While the pox is a carse upon the people by the All'Moighty God, our ever merciful Lord has seen fit to grant us with the gift of intelligence, and such measures as inoculatsion and other farms of physic are not Devilrei. At least, by good English Christian folk. Let the French and Indians fend for themselves.Fish out of Temporal Water: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of God art the law of the land? Verily, it be that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the paeple of these toimes the way of our Lord, for'tis my dyooty to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute word!The Grinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstitious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatry! Where the people of this common-wealth are entoist to a lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlawful gamin', cursin', swearin', the like! Tis' war to be waged against this Black Sabbath and the true followers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!Politically Incorrect Villain: Nay', tis any who insult and defile the good and holy name of the sacriture with their papist Devilrei, Quaker-tricks, Indian-savagrai and womanly whiles at which art the true villains in this sinful toimes!The Witch Hunter: Witches who took council away from the Sovereign of Our Lord and to kiss the unkempt bottom of the Devil shall not suffer to live! To foind a hag who shant recoite the Commandments or have the witches mark are to be hanged and denounced as a choild of God All'Moighty.Would Hurt a Child: None who engage in hwitchcraft may live, nay, not e'en children, for they are capable of enough reason to practice the black arts!Thou art a wretched sinner, utterly unworthy of God's love. A fountain of pollution is deep within thou nature and thou livith as a winter tree; unprofitable, fit only to be hewn down and burned. Steep thy life in prayer, and hope that God sees fit to show mercy on thy corrupted soul."}
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{"text": "(Best read in Cheryl Chase's orPatricia Acevedo's voice)Hiya, readers! I'm the most amazing and beautifulest girl in the world:Angelica Pickles! And this is my dolly, Cynthia.My favouritest things to do are singing, dancing, watching Cynthia PI, eating (especially cookies) and scaring those dumb babies. What dumb babies, you ask? Well, my uncle Stu and aunt Didi have two sons named Tommy and Dil. Tommy is one and he is dumb enough, but Dil is only three months old and he can't even talk yet! Then, there's their friend Chuckie Finster who's a year older than Tommy but he's a real scaredy cat, Chuckie's stepsister Kimi who's got an imagination bigger than the playground, and their friends Phil and Lil, who are twins Tommy's age and do disgusting things like eating bugs!I hope one day to rule the world and never have to do anything I don't want ever, but unfortunately, the grownups are in charge, not me.Teen!Angelica: Wow, was I really like that when I was young? ...Well, yeah, I guess.Hey! What are you doing here?! This is supposed to bemypage!Teen!Angelica: Well get used to it, because I'm going to be here when the tropers get around to addingmytropes. And don't think I'm gonna fall for my own tricks! You got that?!Um, okay. Gee, Cynthia. I guess she is a little like me.Tropes about meAffectionate Nickname: My daddy calls me things like princess and cupcake. Who can blame him?Attention Whore: Woo, that's a naughty word, aren't I a cheeky one? Yes, I do want all attention on me all the time, because I deserve it!Baby Talk: Hey, I'm not a baby!! Well....I guess my English isn't a hundred percent perfect but I'm still NOT a baby!noteTeen!Angelica: Don't worry, you're notwrong.I mean you're still at least three years old, after all!Big Eater: Well, my tummy isn't bottomless, but do have a big appetite. Phil once even said I'm a bigger eater than Reptar.The Bully: I'm not a bully! Well, I suppose I do sometimes bully those dumb babies.Butt-Monkey: Who you calling a monkey's butt?!Catchphrase: Mine is You (dumb) babies!Child Hater: I hate children, especially those stupid babies! What?! I'm a child too?! Well duh! But the difference is that I'm not nearly as stupid as those babies.Cute, but Cacophonic: Hey! My voice is NOT annoying! My daddy says I have a wonderful voice!The Dreaded: Most of those babies are usually scared of me, including their so called fearless leader Tommy.Does Not Like Spam: I'll eat anything except broccoli, that's yucky!Embarrassing Damp Sheets: I wetted the bed the night that Chuckie got potty-trained! That's not fair!Enemy Mine: There was a point where I had to work with those dumb babies to get a giant ice cream by playing mini golf, and I even shared it with them.Even Evil Has Standards: As much of a scaredy-cat Chuckie is, I'm not gonna pick on him when it comes to his mommy. I may not be the nicest kid, but picking on kids with no mommies is just low.I also hate when other people like Josh or Coco bully those babies. They're MY babies and I get to do whatever I want with them!I will also never become a thief like how I was accused of stealing a tricycle.Girlish Pigtails: I'm a little girl with pigtails.Girls Love Chocolate: Well, I'm a girl and I definitely love chocolate! It's not just a girl thing, though. Just ask Tommy and Chuckie.Growing Up Sucks: When I had my birthday, I didn't want to grow up and have sponsibileries like my mommy and daddy, so I decided to dress and act like a baby. Unfortunately, I soon found out that babies can't do anything fun; they can't eat candy, they drink from a bottle, and they have to wear yucky diapers! In the end, I decided that being a big kid was much better than being a baby.Hypocritical Heartwarming: Don't ever try to hurt my dumb babies. Only I can mess up with them, and, again, I'd never actually hurt them.Hypocritical Humour: One time, I said I wasn't bossy and then I yelled at the babies to stop what they were doing, so then I admitted that maybe I was a bit bossy.Innocent Swearing: One time, I hearded Miss Carol say that her new Fun Phrase was a naughty word. I didn't know it was naughty so I said it anyway and got into big trouble!Insane Troll Logic: Okay, I admit it, sometimes the lies I tell don't make much sense. Like the time I convinced the babies the world had ended in the past and I'd seen it happen.Jerkass to One: My favourite dumb baby to torment is Chuckie, as he is such a scaredy-cat and is very easy to trick and do my bidding.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Hey, I'm not a jerk! Well...I admit I'm a little mean, but the babies are actually my friends (but don't tell anyone).Karma Houdini: Well, I admit that I do sometimes get into trouble, but not usually! After all, I'm Angelica.noteTeen!Angelica: I probably shouldn't tell herthat I remembersomethingbadstill happening to us a lot.Large Ham: People say that I'm dramatic but really I'm just the bestest girl in the world!Laser-Guided Karma: Okay there was that one time I was tricked by thatcrazy Coco ladyin keeping the dumb babies out of the way so she can marry Finster's dad only to learn I got the poop end of the deal.Last-Name Basis: Sometimes, though not always, I call Chuckie by his lastest name.Limited Wardrobe: If you see me, I'll always be wearing purple bows, a grey dress and dark blue tights with green spots, unless I'm swimming or sleeping or it's winter or something.Mysterious Middle Initial: I'm Angelica C. Pickles, but I'm not telling ya what the \"C\" is for.No Matter How Much I Beg: One time, I gotted sick from eating too many cookies and so I tolded the babies not to let me eat any more, no matter how much I begged or cried. It didn't work, though.Out-of-Character Moment: That time when I got stage fright tying Chuckie's shoes. I normallywanteveryone to watch me, so who knows why I had that.Performance Anxiety: I did get stage fright that time I tried to tie Finster's shoes but usually Ineverget it!Potty Failure: There was that one time when I wetted the bed, but apart from that, I don't wet my pants 'cause I'm a big girl!The Shrink: Well, not really, but one time I didtryto be a happiness doctor, but it didn't work out.Smug Snake: Those dumb babies think I'm arrogant just because I think I'm way cooler than them.Spoiled Brat: My mommy and daddy don't always give me whatever I want, but they usually do! What less do I deserve?Sweet Tooth: I have a whole mouthful of them! Give me ice cream, chocolate pie, cake, candy...but especially cookies!Trademark Favorite Food: COOKIES!!Tropes about big meAll Love Is Unrequited: I swooned over a boy named Sean, but he doesn't even know I exist. A more noteable example, maybe, is in \"What's Love Got to do With It?\" where I fall for my substitute teacher, of course, there's absolutely no hope for me, and the episode ends with me crying.Anti-Hero: I'm not as mean as I was when I was a kid and I'm portrayed more sympathetically, but I can still be self-centered and rude at times.Bitch in Sheep's Clothing:noteYoung!Angelica: Big naughty word!As always, I pretend to act nicer than I really am. It's a bit easier these days since, well, I'm actually a little bit nicer than before.Break the Haughty: I go through this phase whenever Savannah humiliates me or deliberately brings me misery. I think it's the universe getting back at me.Deadpan Snarker: Usually around Susie.Depending on the Writer: I tend to flip-flop between being aJerk with a Heart of Goldand aTsunderea lot.Dreadful Musician: I'm still horribly tone-deaf. In later seasons, however, I show some improvement; in 'Interview with a Campfire' I, along with most of the other characters, performed in a musical, and even if I'm not the best singer, don't do it too bad either; also, when I managed to participate in a talents show without Susie entering it, I won first place. Remarkably, it seems I bring out my best when doing it as part of a chorus or group rather than when doing a solo.Evil Virtues: Much of myCharacter Developmentcomes from my learning how to use my flaws in more positive ways, especiallyThe TricksterandDeterminatoraspects of my personality. Many times Susie, who's usuallyThe Acein this duo, is very impressed at my achievements, especially with things Susie had actually failed to accomplish (like defeating Debate champions, kids so smart that actually intimidate her) or does it in a much lower level, as it happened when Susie asked me to help her with a charity collect;working at the same area and time, Susie collected less than a hundred dollars while I, by using persuasion and guilt-tripping, got over six hundred dollars in cash and a certified check.Green-Eyed Monster: I want nothing more than to upstage Susie, and I will pull every trick in the book to do so... except stuff that mightget her injured.I might resent and envy Susie but, even at my worst,I'd never hurt her on purpose.Hypocritical Heartwarming: I might offend, tease, and overall antagonize my cousins and friends on a regular basis, but I'll get fiercely defensive of them if anyone else does it.It's All About Me: Some things never change. I'm still very egocentric.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While still kind of mean, I'm more compassionate and kindhearted this time around.Large Ham: I'd take any opportunity to be the star of the show.Lovable Alpha Bitch:noteYoung!Angelica: You said the big naughty word again!I have all the makings of a mean-spirited clique leader, but still have moments of being considerate and selfless.noteAnd yeah, little me, Icanget away with saying big naughty words. I just don't say them all the time.Odd Couple: My friendship with Susie and theShip Teasewith Finster. Really, Internet?Remarkably, I often get Chuckie's help for my projects and plans but, unlike the original series, when I just forced him to help via intimidation, here we're become more-or-less equal partners, with both of us gaining something from the bargain, and in fact when one seeks the other's help, we do it very business-like, as aPro Bono Barter. Even if it's often aLeonine Contracton my side,I always stick to my part of the deal.and at times I actually accept to help him without asking for any (on screen) reward... Heh, guess that's why there's so much ship-tease between us; I admit I have a bit of a soft spot for him.Pet the Dog: I get attached to a baby ostrich in \"Dude, Where's My Horse?\" Don't judge me!The Shrink: I run an advice column, and I'm a borderline Type 1.Spoiled Brat: I'm still spoiled, but my parents have gotten wise to the game.noteSeriously, watch out, little me. This could be bad for you.Tsundere: At times.That Pataki girlain't the only one who can give those anime girls a run for their money with this trope. The friends and cousins I mess up on a regular basis? I'd do anything to protect them if necessary.Vitriolic Best Buds: With Susie. On the one hand, I'm still incredibly resentful towards Susie's talent and we're often at odds. On the other hand, I do care... deep down... and I'm clearly a lot closer to her than to the popular kids, with which my relationship is knowingly superficial. When at one point Susie risked her life (seriously, Carmichael, what were you thinking?), I did the same to try and save her, and I even carried with all the blame of the incident even if it was one of those rare times when I did nothing wrong."}
{"text": "The cavalry has arrived!noteShown above:Tech,Hunter,Echo,Wrecker, andCrosshair. Not pictured:Omega,Gonky and AZI-3.Wrecker:Hey there, readers! Welcome to our self-demonstrating page! I'm Wrecker, a member ofClone Force 99! But you can call us, \"The Bad Batch!\"Hunter:Easy, Wrecker. No need to get too excited. We all knew this day would come.Tech:I agree. I have calculated many possibilities of us getting our own page and for a while, it was highly impossible, given how many we are. So, this is a surprise for sure. I mean, after reading several other pages around TV Tropes, there are only one or two characters who were introduced in their page.Echo:Just roll with it, Tech. I'm sure we'll figure it out together. Right, Crosshair?Crosshair:Whatever, just do what you want, I'm not interfering.Wrecker:All right!Omega:Hey! Don't forget me!Here you go, readers! This is everything we can give to you about us. Don't worry though, the rest of us will write our names so all of you can know who's presenting the description. (Wrecker)Angst? What Angst?: If you are asking on my reaction about Fives, you can say that I am in denial or it's perfectly common to me. You see, we are all soldiers by the end of the day, and losing our brothers in the battlefield has become sadly associated by all of us. (Echo)The Baby of the Bunch: I am not a baby! But I guess that's what happens when I'm with the Bad Batch. Being the youngest isn't that good or being aMacGuffin. (Omega)Badass Crew: You bet we are! We've fought hundreds of battle droids together, and we'll fight a hundred more just to prove ourselves! (Wrecker).Badass Decay:Sadly, when we earned our own series, there are many who accused us to be less powerful and cool than we are in the Clone Wars ranging from Wrecker being hurt so many times, Crosshair turning evil, Omega being captured by the bounty hunters, and Hunter struggling to catch up on the rapid changing galaxy.(Echo)Boisterous Bruiser: I destroy things, and I'm loud when I do it! (Wrecker)Breakout Character: If you put it that way, yes. We originally have four major appearance in the original Clone Wars series, but then, many adored us for being so unique that a man named Dave Filoni gave us our own TV show. (Tech)Brainwashed and Crazy:After Order 66 was carried out, we learned that the clones, ourselves included, have a chip implanted in our brain that compels us to follow orders without question. Sadly, it took Crosshair and it took over Wrecker too until Captain Rex intervened. Thankfully, all of us (minus Crosshair and Omega) are all chip-free. Though, upon retrieving Hunter on Kamino, we learned that everything Crosshair did against us was of his own volition and he had his chip removed a long time ago. Disheartening, yes, but unfortunately, not unexpected given Crosshair's demeanor and all. (Tech)Cold Sniper: Correct. I never miss a shot, and I know emotion is a weakness. It's why I'm the only one of us who saw our only future is with the empire. (Crosshairs)Cool Ship: Our ship theHavoc Marauderis a special ship. It allow us to hide from our enemies, including the Empire. (Tech)Cursed with Awesome: Being turned into a cyborg and used against the Republic was terrible for me \u2014 but ever since being rescued, I've been able to use my \"upgrades\" to help our missions succeed. I also proved immune to the brainwashing effects of Order 66. (Echo)Everyone's Baby Sister: I've got four big brothers looking out for me. (Omega)Expy: Some people have indeed compared us toDelta Squad, another group of clone commandos. But we are very different \u2014 not only do we each have different physical traits, bar Crosshair, we didn't stay with the Empire. (Tech)Fantastic Slur: We call the other clones \"Regs\" because they're all the same to us. (Crosshair)Heel\u2013Face Revolving Door:All I wanted was my brothers to join me in the Empire. They wouldn't budge. Even though I couldn't stand being around them, I couldn't just leave any of them for dead, not even the kid. I remained firm in staying with the Empire, but with the kid telling me that I'll always be part of their family and their brother, now I'm not so sure of what I should do next...(Crosshair)Improbable Aiming Skills: Once I have my target in my sights, there's no way they'll be left standing once I squeeze the trigger. (Crosshair)Incoming Ham: Of course I'm gonna announce our arrival! THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED! (Wrecker)Sixth Ranger: I joined the batch following my last mission with Rex. I was honored to have fulfilled my service as part of his team but I feel like the batch is where I belong. (Echo)Super Intelligence: I indeed have enhanced intelligence beyond a regular clone. This makes me the \"brains\" of our operation, and I do much of our work with tactics and technology, though the manual aspects of the latter are better suited for Echo. (Tech)Super Senses:I have enhanced tracking stills. That's where I got my name, ya know? (Hunter)My vision has also been enhanced. It's what makes me such a deadly sniper.(Crosshairs)Super Strength: Hell yeah! No one's stronger than me! (Wrecker)Tagalong Kid: Hey, c'mon! Well, maybe I was this at the start, but I proved my usefulness soon enough, right? (Omega).Tears of Joy:Bestday of my life. Three Separatist Dreadnoughts, one explosion. I still get a little teary-eyed just thinkin' about it... (Wrecker)Technopath: Being used as a meat computer by the Techno Union was absolute hell. But at least there's a bright side: it gave me the power to control and interface with machines using my mechanical arm (Echo).Trademark Favorite Food:Omega:Mantell Mix!Wrecker:Best part of the mission!Crosshair:Good soldiers follow orders...Hunter:Oh, no...Wrecker:Hurry, to the ship!(After escaping the brainwashed Crosshair)Hunter:Now, what do we do? Obviously we can't go back to Kamino to rescue Crosshair.Omega:Then, I guess we'll have to lay low and find our way through the galaxy together.Wrecker:She's right! Don't worry Crosshair, we'll get you back! Now, to the next adventure!"}
{"text": "I am that which is, which was, and is yet to come! And you will know my name is Megatron when I lay my vengeance upon you!For best effect, read in the voice of the silky sweet tones ofDavid Kaye...OR ELSE!Truly,Starscream, you thought you would be the only Cybertronian whose presence would grace thisunholy website? You'll find that I make for a far more interesting subject. Yeeeees.And now, primitive lifeforms, perhaps it would be wise to indulge you as to my identity. All know me as Megatron. No,not that one, and not the professional sports player of your primitives who identifies himself as Megatron. Ironic as it would seem, I took the name after a far more ancient being. But much of my past will remain shrouded in mystery. It adds a nicer effect to it, wouldn't you say? What I will say is that I used to be a simple thief, until I ended up under the wing of a criminal named Cryotek. Like me, he took the Maximal rule of Cybertron following the Autobots' victory in the Great War to be an insult to the Predacons who were left struggling as second-class citizens. He had hoped to steal a device that contained a message from my namesake, planning to alter history bykilling Optimus Prime as he lay in stasis onboardThe Arkand change history in the Decepticons' favor. Naturally, I knewhe would betray me, so I betrayed him first. With a small crew of Predacons who agreed my methods of eliminating the Maximals were far quicker and more efficient, I set out to prehistoric Earth, in the hopes I could fool all into thinking that I sought Energon deposits. Unfortunately, those Maximal scum followed me and caused us both to crash. The planet's high amount of radiation led us to adopt organic forms to survive, with myself becoming a Tyrannosaurus Rex. The Maximals' leader Optimus Primal did the same to his troops, and thus began theBeast Wars!For many months, I fought hard to ensure victory, but the Maximals always ended up with the upper hand (not to mention myminions constantly backstabbing me, and left me with a difficult path in the war. The constantbetrayals of Terrosaur, the manymanipulations of Tarantulas, the annoyance ofbeing referred to as Queen by Inferno...far too muchincompetence in my ranks. Perhaps I should try to employ more competent minions. But eventually, the battles forced me to enact my ultimate plan, for no other path was presented to me.Oh? You thought I wasgoing to kill Optimus Prime? Foolish organics. That was but a trick to lower your guard. The truth is, I was planning to force you pathetic lower life forms to worship me via this page. I don't intend to deliver any sort of sad tale of woe; no. Instead, I have fooled you into reading everything about me. Now, as I have you trapped in my grip, you are now required to take in the details of my glorious life. You cannot back out. You cannot escape. All you can do is suffer... yeeeeees.0% Approval Rating: Few of my Predacons bothered to show any loyalty to me (save for Scorponok and that loyal, yet annoying fire ant), and none of my brethren agreed with my more...aggressive stance towards the Maximals. Unfortunately for them, I was the one whocame out victorious!Adaptational Dumbass: I am aware you organics are detesting of myrecent return to the screenfor lacking...let's just saythe cunning and witI am well known for.Adaptational Nice Guy: As much as at it pains me to admit, aversion of mefrom an alternate dimension had a less god-like demeanor. And apparently,there happens to be aversion of me who's noble. Noble...truly that accursed form was the worst of my days!Adaptational Sympathy: If mycomics counterpartsought only to make a name for himself rather than commit acts of genocide in the name of power above all else, then you might say he's more sympathetic than I was.Adaptational Wimp: Urrrrgh.My new counterpart.Efficiousthough he may be, Ido nottolerate him playing second fiddle to the original Megatron! Yeeeeees.Admiring the Abomination: I consider myself amongst the most devious of beings, but I can't help but admire some of the more unique creations of the Vok. They would have made worthy allies. At least until I would have inevitably stolen their technology and used it for my own ends.A God Am I: When one acquires ultimate power, you tend to think this of yourself. I was no exception. Yeeeeees.Amplifier Artifact: Ravage once deemed me inferior to the Megatron of which he served. How ironic that it wasthe very spark of that Megatronthat granted me far greater power!And This Is for...: I delivered one toOptimus Primehimself when I unleashed my fury upon him. A shame he was in stasis; he would have quivered beneath my might.The Antichrist: How appropriate a moniker. My powers over all of Cybertron have put Unicron to shame.Arch-Enemy: Optimus Primal serves in this manner to me, much as ourpredecessors once did. It would seem that, throughout all of time and space, fate always pits us against one another. Good! I relish the chance!Arm Cannon: I may not be as direct as my predecessor about it, but I still continue to maintain prominent firepower in this manner. Why else would my Tyrannosaurus Head be so well kept?Asskicking Leads to Leadership: Much as I enjoy the mental cat and mouse games I play with some of my scheming minions, I am quite willing to resort to brute force and open threats to compel obedience. When Terrorsaur was becoming claustrophobic about our hiding in a cave as part of a larger scheme, I shouted in his face that \"no one leaves\" while giving him a very close look at my fang-filled mouth. I daresay he was fully cured of his phobia.Ax-Crazy: My grip on sanity slipped further as my power grew. I cared not for it; after all, who needs sanity when power and godhood are all that are required?Bad Boss: Do not assume my efficacious command style for anything less than what it truly is. I hold no respect for any of my underlings; they are just pawns in a larger scheme. Should they betray me, I put them in their place. So long as they have use to me, I will continue to maintain their presence in my army. And that is all they shall ever be. Though I will at least admit Inferno is the only one of my Predacons I feel less inclined to bring harm to. Until he calls meQueen.Bastard Understudy: As I regaled in my tale, I studied under a bot named Cryotek, who intended to use the Golden Disk for his own ends. I simply took it from him, after he had intended to betray me. Thus began the first of many who would underestimate me.Berserk Button:Don't call me QUEEN. EVER!Disobey my orders, and you will find me in a very unforgiving mood. Pray that you still have use to me. Yeeeees.I do not want to hear ANYTHING about the H-word! By which I mean the ridiculous concept of \"honor\" that Dinobot and his clone were so obsessed with.Do NOTeversuggest I will be forgotten, as my namesake was.You will regret doing so.Big Bad: Naturally. If one bears the name \"Megatron\", this is bound to happen.Big Bad Ensemble: With the Vok andthe Tripredacus Council. Until they both failed. Then I became the sole villain the Maximals faced.Big Bad Wannabe: The Tripedicus Council thought this of me. A fatal mistake on their part.Big \"NO!\": Defeat is often a cruel mistress. My loss in theBeast Warswas one such unfortunate example. My defeat at the hands ofRhinox when I planted that Energon virus?Please, do not mention that moment. At least it beats being defeated bytechnicolored equine mammals!noteStarscream: I heard that!Card-Carrying Villain: A tyrant if ever there was one, and quite proud of it, if I may add. Yeeees.Came Back Strong: My Transmetal II form was the result ofbeing betrayed by Tarantulas. How quickly he regretted it.Came Back Wrong: Oh, Tarantulas. You surelymade a terrible mistakeinbetraying me. Thanks to you, I was able to become a Transmetal II dragon. And to think, all of Cybertron's populace fell under my control.Catchphrase: Yeeeeees. And don't you forget it! And also, exxcellent...Category Traitor: The Tripredacus Council and I had this mutual view of each other. They considered me a dangerous radical whose direct and violent approach undermined their efforts to subtly retake power from the Maximals. I considered their so-called \"subtlety\" to in practice be nothing more than kissing the Maximal Elders' skid-plates. Given the scale of my achievements compared to theirs, I believe the value of my methods speaks for itself.The Chessmaster: Even when the Maximals thought they had the upper hand, I still won. I had always planned for them to try and stop me, so I simply played them to my whims. Yeeeees.Cold Ham: My demeanor became more serious upon taking Cybertron.Companion Cube: My rubber ducky.Mock it at your own peril.Complete Monster: Correct. I have proudly letnothingstand in my way of conquest. Not the Maximals, not any sort of petulant attachment to my soldiers, and most certainly not any reluctance to take what is rightfully mine. I am vile, ruthless andentirely proud of it.Complexity Addiction: Fine, but I will confess that I have a tendency for the dramatic. It tends to...harm me in the long run. Yeeeees.Consummate Liar: Lying isn't just a habit for me; it's a tool. And it's come in handy many times.Contrasting Sequel Antagonist: In contrast to my progenitor, I had little tolerance for failure and betrayal to the point that my troops were tools and nothing more. Punishment was severe, my goals were far loftier, and for my own well being. The original Megatron did care for his troops somewhat, and he somehow keptthat wretched backstabberunder his wing in spite of his betrayals, and he sought an empire where all Decepticon kind could flourish. And most importantly? I succeeded where he failed.Control Freak: Of course. I don't trust anyone but myself. My minions would always try to betray me, so what choice did I have? It meant that all of Cybertron had to lose its free will, but it was a small price to pay.Crazy-Prepared: A wise tyrant always designs his prisons so that he can escape from them. Likewise I always keep an eye on what my trecherous underlings on doing.Dark Is Evil: Darker colors always did suit me best.Darker and Edgier: With Cybertron in my grip, I became far more serious in my goals. And it worked in my favor, for fear made me a god.Deadpan Snarker: Intolerance amongst my troops is simply because they fail to understand my genius. I simply have a penchant for \"intelligent conversation\".Death by Irony:Trying to force Cybertron to my whims killed me in the end.Decomposite Character: You organics thought I was the original Megatron when you madeeffigiesin my honor. But I couldn't be further from him.Diabolical Mastermind: Rightfully so. Yeeeees.Divergent Character Evolution: As I was built to be similar tomy progenitor, this was to be expected. All know him as ruthless conquerer with little patience for failure. I, however, am a cultured warrior who committed far grander schemes in the name of power for myself.Do Wrong, Right: If you're going to kill me, make sure to actually succeed - treachery requires no mistakes! Yeeeees.Dragons Are Demonic: At about the time I acquired my Transmetal II dragon form, I became obsessed with the Cybertronian equivalent ofThe Bible, the human holy text. I understand that one of the final sections of that compilation depicts a dragon as a demonic \"Antichrist\" figure. So too does our Cybertronian text, and I came to identify with that figure more and more. A rather appropriate bit of symbolism, yes...Elemental Powers: My Transmetal II form gave mefireandicepowers. How delightful.Embarrassing Nickname: DON'T call me Queen. Fortunately, Inferno only needed a minimal amount of \"persuasion\" to address me with the much more appropriate term of \"Royalty\".Even Evil Has Standards: Standards are necessary for a villain of my caliber. I would notattempt to kill Optimus Prime until it became a truly necessary tactic, nor would I allow my Predacons to suffer under Maximal rule. My rule, however...Evil Brit: British? Hmmmmm. Perhaps. Evil? Most definitely.Evil Counterpart: To Primal, obviously. We couldn't be any less different.Evil Gloating: When victory is obtained, I willalwaysensure the world knows it wasIwho made it possible. Yeeeees.Evil Is Hammy: Must I say it? I take great privilege in my cultured demeanor.Evil Is Petty: Undoubtedly so. With all my power, I simply had to demonstrate it for my own amusement.Evil Knockoff: For some reason, I couldn't help but clone Dinobot. Perhaps I missed his company...no. I missed his strength. Alas, they never seemed to work properly.Evil Plan: My first goal was to destroy the Maximals and rule Cybertron. After accomplishing the latter goal, it was about ensuring I would rule forever.Evil Laugh: Without a doubt. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!Evil Sounds Deep: Yeeeees.The Evils of Free Will: My conquest of Cybertron led me to remove such pesky notions of free will from the populous, for I, the victor of the Beast Wars, had no intention of letting my inferiors continue to function.Evil Gloating: Oh, how I loved to remind Primal of his failures. It was one of the more amusing anecdotes I allowed myself during my reign.Expy: Of my progenitor.Fantastic Racism:You humans should consider yourselves fortunate that Dinobot thwarted my attempt to exterminate your ancestors. I thoroughly despise you for helping the Autobots defeat my Decepticon ancestors and leading the Maximals to rule modern Cybertron. My original purpose in traveling to your prehistoric mudball, as the original Megatron suggested to me in the Golden Disk, was to prevent the human race's evolution. Doing so would have tipped the Great War in the Decepticons' favor, and the Predacons would have their rightful position of dominance!And I will never stoop so low as to use organic technology again!Faux Affably Evil: I will at least show some cordial respect towards my enemies and those I intend to destroy. It's hardly proper for a bot of my stature.From Nobody to Nightmare: Once, I was but a small thief no one dared pay any mind to. Within months, I nearly wiped out humanity, destroyed the fabric of time itself, and conquered the entire planet with my sheer power and strength of will. Even beyond my time, none will dare to forget what I accomplished. A petty thief? No. A god.Genius Bruiser: Strong though I may be, my cunning is my most dangerous weapon.Godhood Seeker: All I sought was to become the only being who ruled Cybertron.And I did. Yeeeees.Godzilla Threshold:Killing Optimus Prime was my intention, but I never enacted it out of fear of the consequences. But once Primal gained more victories, I killed the Autobot leader.Hidden Agenda Villain:My goal was to kill Optimus Prime as he lay in stasis onThe Ark, but I acted as if the \"unknown planet's\" Energon was my desire. When the war fell into the Maximals' favor, I took matters into my own hands and enacted the plan.Hoist by Their Own Petard:Perhaps absorbing all of Cybertron's sparks into my own was not the wisest of choices when one is being plunged into a dark pit.Hypocrite: I cannot stand treachery... unless I am the one accomplishing it.Or if it's being done incompetently.Perhaps you'd care totake notes, Starscream?An Ice Person: Ice attacks became part of my arsenal when I obtained my dragon form.It's All About Me: Little is beneath my care, unless I am directly involved in it. None would rule over Cybertron but myself.Jerkass: How I love to make my enemies suffer! Yeeeees.Karmic Death:Primal finally managed to end our rivalry with both of us dying in Cybertron's core. I hope thatyou only worshiped his demise.Kill All Humans: Changing history wasn't my initial plan, but with the threat of the Maximals from Cybertron coming realizing what I was doing and traveling back to arrest me I had to step my game. After looking a landscape image on the Golden Disc of a mountain that mycrazed crustacean Rampageblew up, changing the image on the disc, I found my solution. The aid of the wretched humans allowed the Autobots to defeat the Decepticons, so I resolved to exterminate the anthropoids before they could spread. I wasSO CLOSEbefore Dinobot intervened. He perished thanks to his fatal wounds and the energy he expended, but by then the rest of the Maximals arrived and with the rest of underlings beaten I had to retreat.Killed Off for Real:After all I had done, to meet my demise at Primal's hands was nothing short of the ultimate humiliation. For now, at least...Large Ham:Yeeeees. And I revel in it.Large and in Charge: The largest of the Predacons ruled them all. And I was the largest. Well, until Rampage came along, but I had a means of controlling him. Then I evolved into a Transmetal II form, and became even larger than him.Legacy Character: I bear the name of the one who led the Decepticons, for I am his descendant.Like a Son to Me: Cryotek said I was like this to him. It was flattering on the surface, but Cryotek knew I was just as ambitious and determined as he was. He tried to betray me to the Maximal police when we stole the Golden Disk, since he claimed he could always get another son. Fortunately, I anticipated his betrayal and double-crossed him first. As I would later say, treachery requires no mistakes.Look What I Can Do Now!: Tarantulus attempted to end my life whenI absorbed my progenitor's spark. I quickly demonstrated to him and his cohort the fatality of their mistake. Yeeees.Mad Scientist: I can't help but indulge myself in this from time to time. Creating Dinobot II was quite a fruitful experience.Make Wrong What Once Went Right: By the time of my creation, the Autobots' victory in the Great War had given them and their descendants, those accursed Maximals, control of Cybertron. So Iattempted to kill Optimus Prime as he lay in stasis, thereby ensuring my kind ruled over the planet instead.Before that I attempted towipe out the early humans. The Autobots wouldn't have defeated the Decepticons without their help so the extermination of humanity would have ensure the Decepticons' victory. After Dinobot thwarted my first attempt the humans began to spread out from their initial home, making it impossible to hum them all down.Magnificent Bastard: Yesssss. My brilliance and cunning have brought me close to victory quite a number of times. I have previously used trickery to send Primal straight to his slagging, I've used espionage to get ahead of the Maximals' war efforts, and I even manipulated that Decepticon veteran Ravage into joining my cause.Manipulative Bastard: I suppose I should thank my minions for their constant betrayal. It made it all too easy to use them for my own ends.Meaningful Name: There's a reason I named myself after our ancestors' most inspirational leader. My combination of intellect, charisma and sheer brute force do him proud.I understand that the name of my initial beast form, the Tyrannosaurus Rex, means \"king of the tyrant lizards\" in your modern human parlance. I quite like the analogy,yes...Narcissist: Of course. After all, the universe belongs under my thumb alone. And unlikea certain second-in-command, I could back up my greatness with victories many times over.Multiple Head Case:Hardly. My Tyrannosaurus head was merely a decoration I used for myown personal amusement.Near-Villain Victory: Ohh, how close have I come to winning, only to have victory snatched from me? KillingPrimal? Undone. KillingOptimus Prime? Undone. Wiping outthe human race and all the Transformers that lay aboardThe Ark? Thwarted. Annihilating all organic life? Please,indulge me with how you believe the outcome turned out.Never My Fault: Nothing is ever my own fault! The Maximals, my traitorous minions, and all organic life ruined everything! EVERYTHING!noteStarscream: Yeah whatever,Bar-GAH!No Name Given: Who was I before I became \"Megatron\"? You will never know. Althoughone serieschose to call me \"Gnashteeth\" andanother\"Galavar.\" Whether either of these were my true self in my past life,I will not reveal. Megatron is the only relevant name I choose. Yeeees.No One Could Survive That!: I was inside a mountain of raw energon in robot mode, as it exploded.Some of the Maximals thought I was dead, but Primal knew better. Indeed I returned again as though nothing happened.Not So Similar: Ravage once thought me as nothing but a pale imitator of the bot who bore the name before me. He found how wrong he was when I accomplished what that Megatron could not.Not-So-Harmless Villain: Those foolish Maximals thought of me as nothing but anegomaniacwith delusions of grandeur. Yet I was the one who brought their forces to their knees many times, and it was I who nearly destroyed time and space, conquered Cybertron, and nearly wiped out humanity. Harmless? I think not. Wouldn't you agree?Not-So-Well-Intentioned Extremist: I certainly think of myself as doing this for the well-being of Cybertron and the Predacon race, but you organics tend to view my mistreatment of my troops and the multiple instances of genocide I committed to prove I only cared about power above all us. Truly your opinion is lacking in my mind. I simply made the universe better; it just so happens all others were ill-suited to handle such a daunting task.Obfuscating Stupidity: Curious as to how my minions have failed to betray me? I simply act as if I know nothing of their plans. All it does is allow me to defeat them at their most vulnerable. Yeeees.Omnicidal Maniac:My decision to destroyThe Arkwith all onboard constitutes as this, though not nearly as much as when my conquest of Cybertron led me to steal the sparks of all its denizens. And all organic life would have perished beneath my heel!One-Winged Angel: My Transmetal II form. Such GLORIOUS POWER!O.O.C. Is Serious Business: A crisis of great distress led me to call for a ceasefire with Primal and his Maximals. Even I have times where it becomes necessaryto work with your foesto achieve victory against a greater threat. Yeeeees.Orcus on His Throne: My conquest of Cybertron was done entirely at the discretion of my Vehicon generals. Only when it came time to face Primal himself did I deal with the matter personally.Our Dragons Are Different: Mergingthe original Megatron's sparkwith my own transformed me into a towering Transmetal II dragon, complete with the strengths and abilities they came with. The power was quite satisfying, but the organic part eventually was too much to deal with.Playing with Fire: Becoming a Transmetal II Dragon gave me this great power. And I used it quite well. Yeeees.Pragmatic Villainy:I didn't initially wish to destroy Prime as he slept in stasis, for there were other ways to conquer Cybertron without resorting to such measures. I ultimately chose to do so anyway. Certainlythe consequences wouldn't have beenthat drastic, yeeessss.And now I am being told that doing so would have led Unicron to consuming the planet without Prime's intervention. So perhaps I was a bit hasty.Purple Is Powerful: Following in the footsteps of my predecessor's faction, my entire paint job is based around this color. And unlike some of the more treacherous members of my crew, my power is ABSOLUTE!Rank Scales with Asskicking: Ever question why no other Predacon has seized command? They never succeeded. And I would never let them. Yeeees.Ret-Gone:My ultimate goal was to do this to the entire Maximal race by executing Optimus Prime where he slept onboardThe Ark, ensuring Decepticon and Predacon domination of Cybertron!.Riddle for the Ages: What occurred between my escape from the Maximals and my conquest of Cybertron? You will never know. At least until someone decides to tell this tale. Or perhaps they would have hada few moronic leaderschose to deny the scribes permission to makereferences to our previous conflict.Right-Hand Cat: The head of my alternate mode made for an excellent companion. At least it never attempted to betray me.Rogue Agent: The Tripredicus Council was, to say the least,disappointedin my actions. And yet they weren't the ones who would take over Cybertron, now were they?Rollerblade Good: My Transmetal evolution gave my alternate form these. A shame that Earth was lacking in some of its more modern amenities; it would have made for a glorious hobby. Yeeees.Sadist: Nothing brings me great pleasure than to watch as Primal and his Maximals suffer beneath my feat. I take such great pleasure in it,at least until such tendencies led to my downfall.Sanity Slippage: Upon absorbingthe spark of my predecessor, my mind lost its grip on reality as I unleashedmy new power on the universe! And then,I took over all of Cybertronand lost it entirely. Such is the price for godhood.Satanic Archetype: Some of you believe me to be no worse thanUnicronin this regard. I find it appropriate, for my powers dwarf that of the harshest of underworlds. Yeeees.She Is the King:No, this is not in employ. Inferno would always refer to me as a \"Queen\", much to my displeasure. \"Royalty\", however, was more acceptable.Shout-Out to Shakespeare: A frequent tendency of mine is to quoteone of the more notable organicson your planet, though not to the extent of that traitor, Dinobot. And yes, I have more of a tolerance of him than all of you combined. So please, attempt to test my patience over this matter, forthese violent delights have violent ends.The One Thing I Don't Hate About You: You organics are all nothing but an annoying nuisance, destined to be squished beneath my heel. But I will confess, at least you haveJobby the Hong\u2014theoneorganic I actually tolerate. He is rather amusing...yeeeeees.The Sociopath: My egotism knows no bounds, I hold no regards for my underlings, and I consider all beneath me. All in testament to my power. Yesssss.Surpassed the Teacher: I was originallyThe Dragonto the Cybertronian gangster Cryotek, who betrayed his own master Deathsaurus and used the resources he stole to start his own criminal empire. He originally planned to betray me when we stole the Golden Disk, but I anticipated this and double-crossedhiminstead, leading to his arrest by the Maximal authorities. As I later told my own minions, treachery requires no mistakes.Surrounded by Idiots: One of the main things that held me back. My underlings were either holding me back with their blundering or the attempts to undermine my authority in some in-vain attempt to overthrow me. If you wonder why I talk out so much, it's because there is nobody else around to have an intelligent conversation with.Taking You with Me: In my first one on one duel with Primal, after we both sustained heavy damage in a mountain of Energon that kept us from entering robot mode, I braved the danger regardless and transformed to kill him with a missile. If I was going to die, I would take him with me!Tank Goodness: This was my alternate mode on Cybertron back when I worked for Cryotek. I wore a discardable suit of transformable armor to increase my firepower and give me a large gun even in my robot mode.The Starscream: I'm sure it must gall theTrope Namerthat I've actually succeeded where he failed. I was originallyThe Dragonto the Cybertronian mob boss Cryotek. He planned to betray me to the Maximal police when we stole the Golden Disk, but I anticipated this and double-crossed him first. After his arrest, I took control of our gang for myself!Tin Tyrant: Not so much at first (that scheming spider Tarantulas once referred to me as such), but upon my evolution into more powerful forms, I fully embodied this. And it was truly the most glorious days of my life-cycle.Took a Level in Cynic: InBeast Machines, I did sport a more sedate, cold attitude, although hints of my old fondness for melodrama bleed through every now and again. Towards the end of the series, I did start to regain my old, hammier persona. Yeeeees.Took a Level in Jerkass: What level was there to take? I was always a villain of excellent tastes. I just so happened to embracemy newfound powersand use them to commit genocide on a planetary scale.TV Genius: I don't consider myself the sociable type. It matters little to me, in spite of my Predacons constantlyattempting to replace me as leader. I hold a far greater dominance over them than they do of me. And Ialwaysremind them of that every time their betrayal inevitably fails. Yeeeees.Underestimating Badassery: Oh, Cybertron. You thought of me as nothing but a petty thief. With my conquest over you, and with time having nearly been unraveled thanks to me, would you agree that it was a mistake?The Unfettered: Truly you expect me to be in shock of what I bear witness to? My plans for all life in the universe are far beyond any comprehension, hence I have no need to be so easily wowed of what I bear witness to.Unskilled, but Strong: One weakness I do unfortunately posses is a lack of proper combat skills. Hence, whenever it comes time to battle against my enemies, I usually rely on strategy and brute force to obtain victory. Rarely has it failed me. Then once I became far more powerful...Yeeeees.Verbal Tic: \"Yeeeees\".The documentation of this was well recorded, I assure you.Vetinari Job Security: Though I am considered abusive and manipulative to my subordinates, I have proven to be the most suitable in leading my nearly-psychotic crew of Predacons. I have proven this to Terrorsaur once by granting the fool command during a crisis... and watching him fail spectacularly. Yeeeeees.Villain Ball: My downfall in theBeast Warswas my inability to avoid gloating about my superiority. But truly when one obtains godhood, you can't help but revel in it, correct? Especially seeing as thatproved to be a minor setback.Villainous Valor: Deliver unto me great difficulty, and I will show you why I bear the name \"Megatron.\" Nothing will stop my plans!Villainous Friendship: There was only one Predacon I valued, for his loyalty if nothing else. That insufferable fire ant,Inferno, for all his faults, was the only one of my troops I could value. That was,until he no longer served his purpose, and met his end at my demise. A shame really, but a god has no need for such weakness in his underlings.Vocal Dissonance:My newly minted counterpartis like me in almost every way...except he sounds like thatangsty bat-creaturePrimal dragged around with him during mygloriousconquest of Cybertron. My creators are truly playing a cruel joke if they makeMEspeak in such a manner.Vocal Evolution: By the time ofmy conquest of Cybertron, I lost much of my jovial nature to become far more serious, and my vocal processor changed to match. Godhood requires no room for such privileges.We Have Reserves: I have no care for the well being of my underlings. So long as they serve their purpose, I will remain content. And should they be destroyed, I will always find more to recruit into my army. Primal's mistake ofjettisoning those stasis podsgave me plenty of possibilities to work with.Welcome Back, Traitor: I am surprisingly willing to forgive treachery among my minions, particularly if theyhave talents that are still of use to me.I'll admit that I spared both Blackarachnia and Quickstrike when I needed troops, and I repeatedly overlooked Tarantulas's indiscretions because of his scientific skills. My patience ends when the treason attempt is too inept to be worth forgiving. As I told Tarantulas, I could suffer his treachery, but not his incompetence!Well-Intentioned Extremist: Though you organics seem to think otherwise, my goal was to change history for the well-being of the Predacons. Under Maximal rule, we were treated as scrap piles. Had I succeeded, it would have been us in charge, treated as rightful rulers of Cybertron! But, my conquest of the planet changed all that. With my power, only one could rule: ME! Yeeeees.Wicked Cultured: Evil though I may be, I am rather fond of the works of Cybertron's great literary works. I often enjoy rereading them in the confines of my hot tub.Would Hit a Girl: Gender is irrelevant if you attempt to betray me. Blackarachnia was not immune to my punishment despite her charms.Xanatos Gambit: When Terrorsaur tried to take over with Rattrap as his lieutenant, after I escaped my capture, I let the fool remain in command when the Maximals attacked. I didn't know if Rattrap had actually switched sides or not so I decided to test itby ordering him to shoot Dinobot. Either he really had defected or I could show the rest of the Predacons that Terrorsaur had let a spy into our ranks. Rattrap did indeed prove to a spy, shooting off Terrorsaur's head, whichgave Dinobot the chance to free himself and knock out one of my teeth. That hurt, but it was no matter, I ensured nobody would follow that fool's lead.You Are What You Hate: Uhhhh... organics. How Iloathethem. And to think, upon mysuccessful conquest of Cybertron, I was stuck in such an unfortunate state. Looking back, perhaps I should have been more grateful, for the Maximals ended up trapping me in a completely organic body! For a time anyway. My newer bodies were much more as I desired.You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: My concern for my soldiers only extends so far as their potential usefulness to me. When their value to me is ended, I care nothing for their fate. Why do you think I sent Inferno, Quickstrike and Waspinator on a pointless errand to seek out a \"new lair\" when Tarantulas's former laboratory would have served perfectly well? Needless to say, I had no remorse at slagging them with the Nemesis's weapons when I tried to exterminate some of humanity's ancestors.So, you did manage to read my entire page? It would seem I underestimated you. But no matter. Soon, the Beast Wars will be over, and I will have destroyed all of the pathetic Maximals beneath my heel! Now onward my troops... to victory!"}
{"text": "\"Uh huh huh huh...heh heh heh heh...\"(Beavis and Butt-Headare not real. They are stupid cartoon people completely made up byMike Judge, whose voice you should be hearing right now. Beavis and Butt-Head are not role models. They are dumb, crude, thoughtless, ugly, sexist, self-destructive fools, but for some reason, the little weinerheads make us laugh. Some of the tropes you see below would cause a real person to get hurt, expelled, arrested, and possibly banned by the admins. To put it another way:Don't Try This at Home.)Some intro rock musicplays amidst an exchange of \"Uh huh huh\" and \"Heh heh heh\" laughter. Cut to a sky-patterned title card that reads, \"BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD in TV TROPES\", in a jagged font. As the intro music comes to a close, we transition to a pair of teenagers seated atop a couch.Hey, Butt-Head, what's \"shelf-demostrating\"?Uh, I think it's, like, where we're able to talk about ourselves and how cool we are, without some fartknocker doing it for us.Whoa, really?! Heh heh. That sounds pretty cool. Um, heh. Hey, how's it go- *SMACK* OW!Shut up, buttmunch. I wanna do the talking. Uh huh huh huh. Do. Uh huh huh huh.Oh, um, okay. Heh heh. Sorry 'bout that. Heh heh.So, like, uh, he's Beavis and I'm Butt-Head. And we're a couple of guys who hang around, go to school, and sometimes work at Burger World.Only 'cuz we have to. Heh heh. It's not fair! Heh.Shut up, asswipe! I'm, like, doing all the talking here. Remember?Oh yeah. Heh. Sorry. Heh heh. I forgot. Heh heh.Uhhh, we also watch music videos and other stuff, becauseMTValso got crap likeJersey Shoreon. Uh huh huh. So, like, you can read all these tropes about us and stuff. Uh huh huh, tropes...Heh heh heh heh...tropes.Hey, Beavis, check it out.McDicker did one of these too.Uh huh huh huh.Whoa, really? Heh heh. That's pretty cool! And so doesBuzzcut.Heh heh. Once we're done here, can we, like, \"mantle-ize\" their pages?Yeah, uh huh huh. That would be cool! Uh huh huh huh huh.Come to Butt-Head...uh huh huh:Accidental Hero: Me and Beavis tried to score with this one chick, who said she would do it ifwe got to Washington. That \"unit\" those dudes were looking for, like, dropped in my hand, and the President said me and Beavis were heroes. Uh huh huh, \"unit\".Accidental Misnaming: A lot of dumbasses get our names wrong, huh huh. They call us things like Travis and Bernard, Beaver and Buff-Coat, or Beavis and Nut-Head. And people callus, stupid, huh huh!Air Guitar:DAAAHHH DAAAHHH DAHNAH DAH. DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA, DAAA-NAA DAHHH.All Men Are Perverts: We wanna score, huh huh. And see some thingies.Amazon Chaser: Heh heh, I think that having a chick that could kick your ass would be pretty cool, heh heh. Because thenshe'd go and kick the asses of anyone who tries to piss you off. Heh heh heh heh. That would RULE!Amusing Injuries: Mostly Beavis. Uh huh huh huh. It's pretty cool.Um, what're you talking about, Butt-Head-[slap!] OW!!!Cut it out, butthole!!Back from the Dead: Uh, we, like, died one time and went to Hell, uh huh huh huh huh. It was pretty cool, cause there was, like, crap everywhere and we were on Satan's apartment. But then when we tried digging in deeper to find the demon chicks, some asswipe angel came in and brought us back to life. It sucked.Bathe Her and Bring Her to Me: Uh huh huh huh. That phrase is cool. If I ever, like, get me some dudes who'll get me a chick, I'm totally going to say that, huh huh huh. (speaking in aVampire Vordsaccent) Bathe her and bring her to me!Bears Are Bad News: No way! Bears are cool. One time, when we were out in the wood, huh huh, a bear came out and mauled Van Driessen while he was playing his wuss music. It ruled, huh huh huh.Uh, but there was that one time where a bunch of bears broke into our house and stole our nachos, heh heh. That sucked. And when we tried to set a trap to catch them, we, like, got stuck in it with them. That sucked even more!Being Good Sucks: Uh, we, like, once tried to do a good thing when we got a load, huh huh huh, of Spanish Fly off Anderson. We thought we would replace the punch at the school dance with it, which would make everyone horny and make them all wanna score. Huh huh huh huh. Preferably with us.Yeah. And so, like, we started drinking it too. And we drank and we drank and we drank, and we became more and more ready to score, heh heh. But then we just fell asleep! And when we woke up, some asswipe drank all our Spanish Fly and we were in a hospital! We ended up not scoring at all! And no one else did either! It, like, wasn't fair! And nobody appreciated what we did for them anyway! It sucked!Yeah. So we decided we're never doing anything for anyone ever again. If you want to score, you go do it yourself, buttmunch. Don't come asking us for help, 'cause we're not gonna give it, huh huh huh.Berserk Button: Don't call me a buttknocker, heh heh. It really pisses me off! Like this one time where Butt-Head kept calling me a \"buttknocker\", and I had to kick his ass. Call me a buttknocker, and I'll kick your ass! Heh heh.You and what other buttknockers? Huh huh.*WHAM* OOUUUAH! ...Dammit Beavis...Also like, Butt-Head wants to do it with my mom and that pisses me off!Umm, the one thing that probably pisses me off even more than being called a buttknocker is anybody who complains about scoring too much, heheh. One time me and Butt-Head were watching TV and we saw this dude whose girlfriend called him out for ghosting her. When she asked why, the dude said she was always wanting to do it with him and he was sick of it. Dammit, his complaining about scoring too much when some other people have never scored made me so mad I smashed the TV while I was screaming threats at that dumbass. If he'd been there in person, I probably would've killed him, heheheheheheheh!Yeah, and I completely, totally agreed with Beavis, huh huh. Normally I'd have beaten the living crap out of Beavis if he wrecked our TV, but he actually had a good reason for doing it!Bloody Hilarious: There was this one time, where Beavis got a bloody nose and he bled all over and stuff. And then there was that time he sawed off his finger in woodshop. Uh huh huh, \"wood\".Body Motifs: Uh, I have a body motif alright, uh huh huh huh huh. Or rather, I have abuttmotif. Huh huh huh huh huh! Butts are cool.Book Dumb: Uh, books suck. Huh huh huh huh. And you're a dork if you read them. Me and Beavis don't need to because we're, like, already really smart or something. At least,Iam, huh huh huh.Hey, Butt-Head, didn't we write a few books in the '90s?Uh, yeah. But our books were cool. They were about things like chicks and aliens and thingies and how to make movies in Hollywood and stuff. Not like the crap they make you read in school, huh huh huh huh.Borrowed Catchphrase: Uh, I can like, say some of the lines Beavis says, huh huh huh. Check it out: boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoing.Heh heh, you still can't do that too good Butt-Head. Don't try it. Heh heh heh.Buffy Speak: We, like, have a lot of words and stuff, for, uh, other stuff. Like \"thingies\". Uh huh huh.Burger Fool: Sometimes, we have to work at Burger World because that manager dude makes us. But then we get to melt stuff on the grill, huh huh. We also tried to getworker's constipationonce, but kicking Beavis's ass didn't work.Butt-Monkey: So, me and Beavis have gotten our asses kicked, sometimes. But he's more of a butt monkey than me. And an ass goblin. And a buttmunch. And a...Buxom Beauty Standard: Uh huh huh huh huh. Chicks with big thingies rule! The bigger, the better I always say, huh huh huh huh.Casanova Wannabe: Hey, baby. Uh huh huh. Do you, like, wanna get it on? Uh huh huh.Heh heh, hey, how's it going? Heh heh heh.Catchphrase: Me and Beavis have a lot of these, because we're so cool. ThatMike Judgedude didn't get how \"This sucks\" could be one of these, but that's just because he's not very cool.What do you mean, he's not cool? Heh heh. I mean, like, he came up with us!Uh... oh yeah! Uh huh huh huh.Cheek Copy: I tried to copy my butt one time, and my butt broke the glass. I was stuck, which sucked, because I didn't want to lose my butt! Heh heh. I eventually got out and they put stitches in my butt. I wanted to see what they looked like,so I tried to copy my butt...Well, maybe if you weren't a dumbass, you wouldn't break the glass, Beavis, uh huh huh. Uh, would you like a copy of my butt?Cheated Angle: Heh heh, I'm, like, always shown from the side and stuff. For some reason, I just rarely get seen from head-on. It's, like, really weird or something, heh heh.Chick Magnet/Kavorka Man: This one time, when a bunch of people wrote letters to Santa Butt-Head, all these chicks totally wanted to do it with me! Heh heh! But Butt-Head wouldn't give me those letters! Heh heh. I would have scored, if he wasn't a dillhole.Collector of the Strange: Heh heh heh, I like to collect my turds and keep them in jars in the basement. Heh heh heh.You're disgusting, Beavis.Determinator: I wanna make a lot of money and score. And I'm not stopping until I do both. A lot. Huh huh.Heh heh, yeah, me too! Heh heh.The Dividual: A lot of people wonder if we're, like, brothers or cousins or something, uh huh huh. They say we have a lot in...uh...\"come on\", huh huh.Diarrheaeven asked us if we had the same Dad. We said that maybe we did, huh huh.The Dog Bites Back: Heh heh, sometimes Butt-Head says something that really pisses me off! So I kick him in the nads! Heh heh. Like this!*WHAM* OOUUUAH! ...Cut it out, buttmunch.Dope Slap: I, like, have to give these to Beavis, when he starts acting like a dumbass. Which is, like, all the time, huh huh.Shut up, bunghole! I do not- *SMACK* AAH! *SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK* OW! WHOA! Heh heh. Um, what was I talking about?Drives Like Crazy: Uh huh huh huh, I drive like a badass! Uh huh huh huh. There was, like, this one time at driver's ed where I made Buzzcut soil himself with my driving. Uh huh huh huh. That was cool.Yeah, heh! And we killed him too. Heh heh!He didn't die, dumbass. He was, like, un-continuous. But there was blood. Huh huh huh. That kicked ass!Dumb Blonde: Huh huh, yeah, that's Beavis alright. He's blonde. And really stupid, huh huh huh huh. Unlike me.Everybody Hates Mathematics: Yeah, really. Math sucks.Heh heh, yeah. I really hate numbers. There's, like, too many of them and stuff, heh heh heh.Everyone Has Standards: Uh, it's like, we once saw this video with naked chicks and stuff in it at school, huh huh huh huh. And it was pretty cool. But, uh, then it had this one part that showed a chick giving birth. It was disgusting.Yeah, yeah, really. I couldn't get a stiffy for a week after seeing that, heh heh heh.Uh, we were hesitant to ask thatSamara chickout, huh huh huh.Yeah, yeah, we didn't our nads to shrivel up or explode or something like that, heh heh heh.One time, Beavis told me he keeps his turds in jars in the basement instead of like, flushing them down the toilet, huh huh huh. And I told him that's disgusting and stuff.Yeah, heh heh, it is pretty disgusting.Y'know, heh. If there's one thing that like,reallypisses me off, it'scomplaining abouthavingtoo muchsex! Yeah! Heh heh heh. I mean some of us, y'know like me, don't haveanysex! Ever! I don't know what number multiple is, but it's better than zero! Y'know there's...starving kids in poor countries,and they probably get to score, butIdon't! Heh heh.For onceI'm not gonna say settle down, Beavis, you're absolutely right. Uh huh huh huh.Faking the Dead: Heh heh, like one time, we decided to stop going to school and like, nobody made us go. Heh heh heh heh. And when they called, we said we were dead. It worked too, because we still didn't go to school!Farts on Fire: Uh huh huh huh, this one time, Beavis was about to cut the cheese, huh huh huh huh, and then he, huh huh huh huh huh. He, huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh...well, you had to be there,but it was pretty cool.No it wasn't, Butt-Head. It really hurt and I had to go to the hospital to save my butt. And I ended up farting fire. Heh heh heh heh heh, yeah, fire, FIRE! Heh heh heh heh heh!\"Freaky Friday\" Flip: Uhh, this one time, we got our asses kicked in a store, and that caused us to switch bodies and stuff. I became Beavis, huh huh huh huh.Heh heh, yeah. And I became Butt-Head.Huh huh, yeah. But then Beavis started pissing me off, so I kicked his ass. By, uh, kicking my ass which was really his ass, huh huh huh. I even hit myself in the nads to make sure he's never gonna score, huh huh huh huh.Shut up, Butt-Head!Full-Name Basis: Uh, it's like, my first name is Butt and my second name is Head. And you're gonna call me by my full name or else I'm gonna go over to your house and kick your ass, huh huh huh.Genius Ditz: Some people think that we're actually really smart and stuff, because me and Butt-Head watch music videos and talk about them. It's, like, we just know what sucks and what doesn't suck.Gonk: Uh, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a stud, huh huh. But this probably explains why Beavis looks so stupid.Shut up, fartknocker! I look cool! Heh heh.Girl on Girl Is Hot: Huh huh huh huh. Sespians are cool. When I see two girls kissing, it gives me a special feeling, huh huh huh huh.Heh heh, yeah, me too! It kinda, heh heh, makes me wanna make a stool, heh heh heh. (higher pitch) Poop!Dammit, Beavis, what the hell is wrong with you?Gratuitous Spanish: Uh, burritos? Huh huh huh. Uh...guacamole!Um...spaghetti!That's Italian, dumbass!Heh heh, oh yeah.Groin Attack: Sometimes Butt-Head really pisses me off, like this one time he kept smacking me for liking this oneBon Jovivideo, and I kicked him right in the nads! Heh heh. That was cool.Um, oh yeah, I did again when he saidI wasn't a firework. Heh heh, I'm an M80.Guttural Growler: Heh, I met this guy who looked like Butt-Head but wasn't Butt-Head, and he said that I had a \"scratchy rock and roll voice.\" Heh heh heh, scratch. I guess that would be pretty cool if I did, 'cause then I could be in Pantera! Heh heh, that would RULE!Hates Being Touched: AHH, don't touch me! I'll kick your ass! Heh heh heh heh. Unless you're a chick. Then we can like, heh heh heh, you know, do it.Heh Heh, You Said \"X\": Uh, we, like,named this tropeand stuff. We're smart.Except for like, this one time they said Snooki liked hot salami and it it wasn't that funny. Like, they were just trying too hard or something.His Name Really Is \"Barkeep\": My name really is Butt-Head, not Buford or any of those other wussy names some of you dorks come up with for me! Just use my real name, or I'll, like, come out of your computer and kick your ass!Horrible Judge of Character: Todd's pretty cool. I mean, he kicks our asses, sometimes. But that's just because he's really cool, huh huh.People say Stewart's this cause he like, thinks we're his friends and wants to hang out but he's a dork and we just go over to watch his TV. And look at his hot mom.Hospital Epilogue: Sometimes we end up in the, uh, \"hostipal\" because of the cool things we do, huh huh. Like when me and Beavis were trying to imitate that Ben Franklin dude and got electrocuted, or when Beavis burned his ass and started farting fire. That was cool!No, Butt-Head, that sucked! The coolest thing we did was when we tried to become werewolves so we could get chicks like thatEdward Cullen dude, heh heh. And it worked, because we met a couple of chicks who drove us to the hospital.Boii-yoiiinnnggg...The Hyena: Uh, like, this one time, we were laughing so much in school, and McDicker got pissed at us. Uh huh huh huh huh. So then he like, made it so that we couldn't laugh for like, a whole week. It sucked.Yeah, heh heh. But then Buzzcut began talking about sex. Heh heh heh heh heh heh. And he, heh heh heh heh heh heh, talked about the wiener, heh heh heh heh heh heh. And the Virginia, heh heh heh heh heh. And masturbation! Heh heh heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! It ruled! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!Huh huh huh huh huh huh! Yeah! Huh huh huh huh. But like, we still couldn't laugh. Which sucked.Heh heh heh heh...masturbation. Heh heh heh heh!I Banged Your Mom: Uh huh huh huh. Hey, Beavis. Guess what? I scored with your mom.Heh heh. Shut up, Butt-Head! And no, you didn't!Innocently Insensitive: Uh, this one time, Stewart's mom was wondering where Stewart had gone because he hadn't come home, heh heh heh heh heh. Even to take a dump, heh heh. So I said that maybe somebody killed him and buried him in a shallow grave! Heh heh heh heh. And, like, that made her cry for some reason. I didn't get it. I was just, like, trying to help or something, heh heh heh heh.Insufferable Imbecile: Huh huh, yeah, Beavis is really stupid. And he pisses me off a lot. That buttknocker really needs to get his ass kicked more.Butt-Head, I'll kick you in the nads again. Don't call me that.Intercourse with You:Come to Butt-Head, uh huh huh huh. Come a little closer...Hey, Butt-Head, what time is it? I thinkCOPSis on!Dammit Beavis, knock it off. I'm trying to score.Intergenerational Friendship: Heh heh. We like,met this one chick on a plane, and she was real old, but she did a whole lot of sluts in Vegas! Heh heh heh heh! She was pretty cool.It's a Wonderful Plot: Uh, I like, once got visited by this old dude who went and showed me how things would be if I was never born, huh huh huh huh. And like, after seeing McDicker be all happy and stuff, and Beavis be an even bigger wuss and get bossed around by Stuart, I, like, learned a valuable lesson or something, huh huh. That even though the world sucks, it would suck more if I wasn't in it, huh huh huh huh.Jerkass: Uh, it's called not being a wuss, dork.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Yeah, heh heh heh. A wuss. Heh Heh. I mean I don't do some stuff like Butt-Head does, but I'm still cool, heh heh. Don't make me kick your ass.Last-Name Basis: Heh heh, I'm Beavis. That's, like, my last name or something. I, like, don't have a first name or at least, I don't remember what it is, heh heh heh heh.Likes Older Women: Older chicks are pretty cool. They're like, more sex-perienced or something, huh huh huh huh. Like Stewart's mom, I'd totally do her. AndCher, huh huh huh huh. I totally scored with her.LOL, 69: Uh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh. 69. Huh huh huh huh huh huh.Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!Made of Iron: Me and Butt-Head got thrown around in a tornado, got struck by lightning because we tried to do what thatBen Franklindude did with that kite, and we got turned into werewolves but were, like, all sick and stuff. We're tough, heh heh heh. Although I'm tougher than Butt-Head.No you're not, dumbass, huh huh huh.Manly Facial Hair: Uh, we like, once tried to get beards cause chicks didn't realize how manly we were, huh huh huh huh. But uh, since we couldn't, like, grow them, we made our own beards by cutting off our hair and gluing it on our faces, huh huh huh huh huh. It worked too, 'cause some chicks said they'd do us in ten years if we removed the beards. We should be scoring any day now...Meaningful Name: Like I already said, Butt-Head really is my name, huh huh. What makes it cool is that I'm named after something I think is really cool, which are butts, and the thing I'd be getting from chicks if Beavis didn't always ruin it for me, which is head.Heh heh, you said \"head\", heh heh heh...Men Don't Cry: Because then they'd be wussies, huh huh huh huh. Like Beavis. He was crying that one time.Damn it, Butt-Head, I was NOT crying!Metal Head: Heh heh,Metallicarules!Metal Scream: Heh heh, I can do that. Check it out. Ahem...BUTT-HEAD SUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKSSSS! (Butt-Head smacks him) OW!Shut up, Beavis!Minor Living Alone: We, like, have our own house and stuff, huh huh huh. Because we're like, real smart and don't need to live with our parents like most people our age or something. And because Beavis' mom is a slut, huh huh huh.Shut up, Butt-Head!Mistaken for Profound: Me and Beavis went to this coffee place, once, where, like, all of these people thought Beavis was good with poetry, because he drank a lot of cappuccino and started yelling about his \"bunghole\". That was cool.Um, heh heh. Oh yeah,sorry about that.Mister Seahorse: Um, this one time, I thought I was pregnant, heh heh. But it turns out I just had to poop real bad, heh heh heh.Mouse Trap: Uhhh, we had one of these things once, which we tried to use after a rat ate our nachos. We tried to set it, but Beavis kept screwing up and caused it to snap on his fingers, huh huh huh. And his feet. And his nose. And his ear. And his butt, huh huh. And his...Mushroom Samba: This one time, me and Butt-Head were stuck in the desert, and I ate this cactus thing. Then there were all these weird colors and shapes, heh heh. And it sounded just likeWhite Zombie!My Life Flashed Before My Eyes: Uh, this, like, happened to me one time when I was dying to death in the desert and stuff, huh huh huh. I like, saw me and Beavis watching TV and I realized that my life was cool. Uh huh huh huh huh.Heh heh, yeah, yeah! Me too! Only I was, like, a sperm! And I scored, heh heh heh heh!Nerds Are Virgins: Huh huh huh huh. Yeah, that's Stewart. He's, like, really into video games and thatDungeons & Dragonscrap that all those nerds like. And he's a real wuss, huh huh huh huh. He's never gonna score!Never My Fault: Uh, I've actually come really close to scoring a bunch of times, huh huh huh. But then this dillweed always goes and screws things up and scares the chicks away. Which sucks, huh huh huh.Yeah, yeah, sorry about that.Nightmare Fetishist: Dead things are cool, uh huh huh. We also looked pretty cool that one time, when we tried to become werewolves. Even though we didn't score. That sucked.Not Allowed to Grow Up: So uh, we were teenagers in the 90s, and then we were sucked into this big butthole, and we're, like, still teenagers now. Uh huh huh huh. We're immoral. Huh huh huh.That's pretty weird, but also kinda cool, heh heh. Hey, Butt-Head. What about when we were still teenagers back in, like, 2009 or something?Dammit, Beavis! Stop trying to, like, outsmart me, and let me do all the talking. Uh huh huh.Ohh yeah, heh heh, right. But wait, isn't there that other world where we did grow old and you became fat and (Butt-Head smacks him) AHHHHH!Dammit, Beavis, I told you to shut the hell up already!Oblivious to Hatred: Huh huh, Todd's cool. Even when he kicks our asses.Heh heh, I think he likes us.Onion Tears: One time, I got, like, an onion in my chili dog, and it made my eyes hurt, heh heh. Butt-Head kept telling me I was crying, but I wasn't!You were crying, huh huh.I was NOT crying! I'm serious...Our Werewolves Are Different: One time, after seeing thatTwilightmovie, me and Butt-Head tried to become werewolves, so we'd get tons of chicks. But this homeless dude just bit us andwe got really sick and covered in these sores and stuff, heh heh.And we still didn't score!Pyromaniac: Yeah, yeah, FIRE! FIRE! Yeah...heh heh. I burned down a comedy club once, butthey don't show that one, anymore.Raging Stiffie: Uh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh!Heh-heh-heh heh heh heh! Boioioioioioing!Red Oni, Blue Oni: Uh, I'm like, really calm and rash-anal and stuff, huh huh huh huh. But Beavis here, he's a real dumbass, huh huh huh. Sometimes I gotta smack him around to make him settle down or something. He'd like, die in a ditch if it weren't for me, huh huh huh.Refuge in Audacity: Um, what? Heh heh heh.Saw \"Star Wars\" Twenty-Seven Times: Uh,Star Warsis pretty cool, huh huh. But, uh, we didn't see it that much. Beavis did watchBackdraft27 times when it came out though.Heh heh, yeah! Fire, FIRE! Heh-heh-heh-heh heh heh! Whoa! I gotta go watchBackdraftagain.Screams Like a Little Girl: Huh huh huh. Beavis screams like a chick. Uh huh huh huh.Shut up, Butt-Head! At least I can scream. Heh heh. *smack* AAAAAAAAAAHHH!Huh huh huh. You're a wuss, Beavis. Uh huh huh huh.Sdrawkcab Speech: Heh heh, I'm actually pretty good at this. Check it out: Drah eeduts dna jelloc oot ohg doosh law ooy.noteYou all should go to college and study hard.That's pretty cool, Beavis.Yeah. Heh. Check this one out: Efil ruoy niur lliw seport vt.noteTV Tropes Will Ruin Your LifeHeh heh.Shown Their Work: Um, one time, me and Butt-Head were at this monster truck show, and they like ran over stuff like cars andour teacher, heh heh heh, that was cool. Then when they got to the porta-potties, this big fart came out,and Butt-Head saidit was Sterculius, the Roman god of feces.Heh heh, yeah, we didn't make him up. He was like pissed off that they ran over the porta-potties,so he took a dump on all of us. Um, hey Butt-Head, heh heh.How did we survive that?Becausewe're so cool. At leastIam. Huh huh.Signature Laugh: Uh huh huh huh huh...Heh heh heh heh heh heh...The Slacker: Yeah, well, if you're one of those dudes that are into doing homework and stuff, you're a dork, uh huh huh.The Sociopath: Uhhh, I still, like, don't know what that word means, but I'm apparently one of those according to the school psychiatrist, huh huh. But, uhhh, I don't care about her or what she thinks, uh huh huh huh. I don't care about anyone.Son of a Whore: Beavis's mom is a slut, huh huh.Shut up, fartknocker.Stacy's Mom: More likeStewart's mom, huh huh. Like she's what people lately call a MILF and I dunno what it means but I'd do her. Huh huh. Also, I, like, had a cool dream about Beavis' mom where she was all naked in the bath and she let me check out her thingies.Shut up, Butt-Head! Heh heh.The Stoic: Uh, it's like I'm...dammit I already told you, I'm like, really calm and rash-anal and stuff, huh huh huh, and I like, uh...don't stop being that way. Even when something pisses me off. Like what you're doing right now. So cut it out, buttmunch, before I kick your ass.This Is Gonna Suck: We, like, know when stuff is gonna suck ahead of time, huh huh huh huh. And then they, like, do.This Loser Is You: Uh, like, you're a loser and you suck. Huh huh huh. But if you, like, act like us, then you'll suck a little less maybe.Toilet Humor: Heh heh heh, I really like it when people say \"poop\". (higher pitch) \"Poop.\" Heh heh heh heh.Toxic Friend Influence:I'm cooler than Beavis, so he, like, needs me around so he won't be a dumbass, uh huh huh. This one time, this old dude named Charlie showed me what it'd be likeif I wasn't born and stuff. Beavis was even more of a dork, because I wasn't there to keep him from being a dumbass.We're both also, like, really bad influences on Stewart, heh heh. Hey Butt-head, remember when we got him in trouble for making him show us porn on the school computer?Yeah, that was cool, uh huh huh. Then there was that time we framed him for couch fishing. Uh huh huh huh huh, heh heh heh heh heh heh....Trademark Favorite Food: Nachos rule! Heh heh. Oh yeah, and so are tacos, huh huh. One cool things about school, is that they have kick-ass tacos.Ultimate Job Security: Huh huh, that manager dude we're always working for at Burger World is always getting pissed off at us, but he, like, never fires us. Because we're like, too cool or something.Heh heh heh, yeah. And then there's Anderson. We're always breaking and stealing his stuff, heh heh heh heh, and I like to, heh heh heh heh, go to his tool shed and, heh-heh heh heh heh, spank my monkey. Heh heh heh. Which pisses him off. But he, like, always still hires us for stuff, heh heh heh. Because he's old and thinks we're other kids.Unusual Euphemism: Heh, heh, sometimes, I call my nads, \"bonbons\". I guess I'm by myself when that happens. [Beat] When is that tropes thing gonna start? [Beat] Oh, you meanyou got the part about the \"bonbons\"? Huh. Shoulda warned me about that.Beavis, you dumbass! It's on TV Tropes. Everybody's gonna know, huh huh. \"Bonbons!\"Vitriolic Best Buds: I'm way cooler than Beavis, uh huh huh. But, like, I let him hang out with me because he's one of the only other people I know who actually does something cool once in a while. Sometimes I still have to kick his ass to teach him a lesson whenever he's a dumbass, huh huh.Yeah, heh heh, like, Butt-head and I kick each other's asses a lot and stuff, and we're always insulting each other. But, like, we're the only cool people in Highland besides Todd, so we're pretty much stuck hanging out together, heh heh.With Friends Like These...: I let Beavis hang around, because he makes me look cooler and stuff. But his buttmunch ass makes it hard to score, huh huh.Your Mom: Uh huh huh. Hey Beavis. Your mom's a slut. Uh huh huh huh.Heh heh, oh yeah. Um, wait. Isn't your mom a slut too?WHACK!Shut up, fartknocker!\"YOU WILL GIVE ME TP!\"What the hell is this crap? All they did was make us talk and stuff! Heh heh.Yeah, huh huh huh. Talking sucks. Uh huh huh huh.Whoa! Heh heh. Check it out, Butt-Head.Beavis notices a conveniently placed stash of soda near the couch. He shotguns several cans in rapid succession. Mere seconds later, he begins to twitch, writhe, and mutter incoherently.Uh, Beavis? Uh huh huh huh.Beavis continues twitching.What the hell's your problem, asswipe? Huh huh.Beavis stands up, pulls his shirt collar over his hair, and raises his arms.I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! Heh heh. YOU HAVE AWAKENED MY BUNGHOLE, AND NOW YOU MUST PAY! Aaaaaah. Heh heh. MY BUNGHOLE WILL SPEAK, NOW! Heh heh. YOU WISH TO LEARN OF THE BUNGHOLE? YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE! Try as you may. Heh heh.YOU WILL GIVE ME ALL YOUR TROPES! AND TP!Artistic License \u2013 Geography: I COME FROM LAKE TITICACA, INNICARAGUA!It's actually inPeru, dumbass. Uh, huh huh huh.Berserk Button: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!Black Speech: AaaaaaYYYYEEEEEAAAyyyyyaH OHLaAHHlAaAH!Body Horror: I HAVE NO BUNGHOLE!Body Motifs: THERE IS NO BODY! THERE IS ONLY THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE!The Dreaded: DO NOT MAKE MY BUNGHOLE ANGRY! YOU DO NOT WANT TO FACE THE WRATH OF MY BUNGHOLE!Fighting from the Inside: Why does everybody wanna see my schlong? Heh.Gratuitous Spanish: Espa\u00f1ol? ES BUNGHOLE! HABLA BA HABLA! I COME FROM NICARAGUA! FROM LAKE TITICACA! WHERE WE HAVE NO BUNGHOLES!AGUAFOR MY BUNGHOLE!!\"I Am\" Song: BUNGHOLIOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HAVE NO BUNGHOOOOOOOOLE! I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIOOOOOOOOOOO!Is That a Threat?: ARE YOU THREATENING ME?! YOU MAY TAKE ME, BUT YOU WILL NEVER TAKE MY BUNGHOLE!Large Ham: I DO NOT NEED THIS \"HAM\". I NEED TP!Mind Screw: I HAVE NO BUNGHOLE! WE SHARE BUT ONE BUNGHOLE! YOU ARE A BUNGHOLE! And so am I! Heh. There will be more bungholes after me! FOR I HAVE CORNHOLIO IN MY BUNGHOLE! Heh-heh, that was pretty cool.Must Have Caffeine: I WANT ALL YOUR SODA! Heh. AND CRAPPUCINO!Do it, brother Beavis! Huh huh huh.Mooning: WOULD YOU LIKE TOSEEMY BUNGHOLE?!Uhh! Dammit, Beavis! No one wants to see your butthole! Uh huh huh huh.Nightmare Fetishist: YOU ARE NOT SAFE FROM THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NONBELIEVERS! Whoa, heh heh. That'd be cool.No Indoor Voice: YOU CANNOT SILENCE THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE!Oxymoronic Being: I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE! FOR I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I HAVE NO BUNGHOLE! IN THE LAND I COME FROM, WE HAVE NO BUNGHOLES! I AM A BUNGHOLE, AND SO ARE YOU! SOON, WE WILL ALL BE BUNGHOLES!Paranoia Fuel: YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE! RUN AS YOU MAY!Split Personality: Heh heh. What happened? Heh. Cool, soda! Heh heh. Mine! Heh heheh{Beavis finds and drinks another soda, which kicks him back into gear.} RAAAH! I AM CORNHOLIO! Heh. MY BUNGHOLE HAS RETURNED! Um, okay, heh heh. KanDOfRAhaHAhaHAHblahBLAH!Sweet Tooth: Do you have any candy? Heh heh. I NEED ROLIOS FOR MY BUNGHOLE!Talkative Loon: MY BUNGHOLE, IT GOES RAP-PAH-PAH-PAH! AND ONE FOR YOU! PRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAFFFF!Toilet Humor: Do you have any Oleo? I NEED OLEO FOR MY BUNGHOLE!Toilet Paper Trail: I MUST HAVE TP! Heh heh. THE TP WILL FOLLOW ME!Cornholio leaves the living room babbling gibberish and goes outside, into the middle of the road.I AM-AAAAAAAOOOOW!Beavis gets hit by a car just as he walks across the roadOOOOOOW! OW! OW!Whoa! Uh huh huh. That was cool.Butt-Head continues to laugh at a moaning (and laughing too) Beavis' misfortune asepic rock musicplays. End segment."}
{"text": "Notes and reference for editors: Bill Cipher AMA: https://reddit.com/r/gravityfalls/comments/315yoy/im_bill_cipher_i_know_lots_of_things_ask_me/\"A DARKNESS APPROACHES! A DAY WILL COME IN THE FUTURE WHEN EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT WILL CHANGE! UNTIL THEN, I'LL BE WATCHING YOU! I'LL BE WATCHING YOU!\"SURE, I'M INSANE. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?FOR BEST RESULTS, IMAGINE THIS WHOLE PAGE YELLED BYA CRAZY AND NERDY MAN ATTEMPTING A HIGH-PITCHED AND TERRIBLEDAVID LYNCHIMPRESSION.HERE'S A VIDEO LINK FOR YOU LAZY LOSERS!WELL, WELL, WELL! HEY THERE, TROPE EXPLORER! THE NAME'SBILL CIPHER! YOU KIDS MIGHT KNOW ME FROM ACERTAINPOPULAR SHOW CALLEDGRAVITY FALLS. IF NOT, LET ME GIVE YOU A RUNDOWN! OH, NO,NO, I INSIST! LUCKILY FOR YOU, YOU OVER-INDULGENT ANTISOCIAL TROLL, I'M NOT ACCEPTING OFFERINGS AT THIS TIME AS I BESTOW UNHOLY KNOWLEDGE! YOU CAN KEEP YOUR BLOOD, DECAPITATED PUDGY DIGITS, RECORDED SCREAMS, AND MEMORABILIA OF MYSELF! NOW TAPE YOUR EYEBALLS OPEN, TAKE A SEAT, AND KEEP SCROLLING DOWN MY PAGE AS YOU GAZE UPON A SLIVER OF SURREPTITIOUS ERUDITIONS THAT SAGES AND CULTS HAVE CLAMORED IN DESPERATION FOR! MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE WHILE I GET A NICE, WARM, GLASS OF LEAD-BASED PAINT. EVERGREEN'S MY FAVORITE.SO ANYWAY: I'VE BEEN RESIDING IN THE NIGHTMARE REALM FOR EONS, LONG BEFORE YOUR MEAGER UNIVERSE CAME TO FRUITION. WHILE I COULD INTERACT WITH YOUR UNIVERSE EVERY NOW AND THEN BY TRICKING ONE OF YOU PEONS INTO GIVING ME YOURBODY, I WAS UNABLE TO TRULY ENTER YOUR DIMENSIONAL PLANE, AS YOUR REALM CANNOT COMPREHEND MY EXISTENCE! BOY OH BOY, HOW I LONGED TO BE \"PART OF YOUR WOOOOOORLD!\".THEN ONE DAY, THIS UNFORTUNATE HUMAN NAMED STANFORD PINES CAME HERE INTO GRAVITY FALLS RESEARCHING ALL THE CRAZY STUFF GOING ON AROUND HERE. I ASSURE YOU IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. I USED HIM LIKE A PAWN (I WISH I COULD DO IT AGAIN, TRICKING HIM WAS SO MUCH FUN!) AFTERWARD, I FINALLY GOT THE BRAINIAC TO BUILD A PORTAL! HA! ALL FOR WEIRDMAGEDDON! SADLY, HE SHUT IT DOWN! OH, I WISH I COULD TEAR HIM UP LIMB FROM LIMB!SIXER'S BROTHER, FEZ CAME ALONG WITH HIS NEPHEW AND NIECE, PINE TREE AND SHOOTING STAR! I INSIST CALLING THEM THAT. THEIR REAL NAMES ARE REALLY STUPID. PINE TREE FOUND ABOUT ME ONCE AND GOT IN MY WAY. I THANKFULLY RETREATED AND THEN I POSSESSED HIM! BURNING, STABBING AND PUNCHING IS JUST SO MUCH FUN! HA HA HA HA! HE THEN HAD THIS RIFT FROM A PORTAL AND BY USING HIS SORRY SISTER AS A PAWN, I TOOK OVER THE WORLD!...AND THEN I GOT FOILED. WHAT'S LEFT OF ME IS PROBABLY STUCK IN A STATUE COLLECTING MOSS IN THE MIDDLE OF OREGON. BUT AS FAR AS THISGLORIOUSLY LIFE-RUINING WEBSITE IS CONCERNED, THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE! AND IF YOU DARE MENTION IT TO MY FACE,I MAY JUST HAVE TO REARRANGEYOURS. BUT THE POINT IS, I'M BACK TO WRITE MY PAGE! AND JUST KNOW,I'LL BE WATCHING YOU.MY VERY LOVELY TROPES:Ancient Evil: LOOK THROUGHOUT YOUR PUNY RACE'S HISTORY, SUNNY JIM. I'VE BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES, FAR BEYOND WHAT YOUR MIND CAN COMPREHEND! HA! SURE GUYS LIKEPURPLE PUSSAND THATTERUMI CHUMPMAY HAVE GOTTEN A HEAD-START ON ME, BUT LOOK AT 'EM NOW! ONE KEEPS GETTING DUMPED BY HIS \"GIRLFRIEND\", AND ONE GOT BEATEN BY A WALKING CLICHE! AS FOROL' ROCKYTHERE, I'VE BEEN TOLD NOT TO MESS WITH HIM, LEST I BECOME A SCORCH MARK!noteDarkseid: Then you are wise to avoid challenging a true god. Had you failed to heed my warnings, you would have been subject to torment beyond your worst nightmares, broken to the point that not evenyouwould have been able to recover. Such is the will of Dark...*is cut off by a fingersnap*Me:YEEESH, WHAT A DRAMA QUEEN.Apocalypse How: MY BELOVED WEIRDMAGEDDON! TIME IS DEAD AND MEANING HAS NO MEANING! IT'S THE ULTIMATE PARTY!Arch-Enemy: I'VE MADE A LOT OF THESE THROUGHOUT MY LIFETIME. WELL, AS THEY SAY. YOU KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER.Ax-Crazy: YES, YES, I KNOW I'M INSANE AND I'M QUITE PROUD OF IT!Badass Adorable: HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING ME ADORABLE?!Beware the Silly Ones: YOU THINK I'M ALL FUN AND GAMES? HA! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'M LIKEWHEN I'M MAD?!Big Bad: YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE ULTIMATE VILLAIN OF THE WHOLE SHOW!The Cameo: I'VE BEEN AROUND OTHERYELLOW BEINGS WHOSE UNIVERSE POSSESSES A STARK OBSESSION OF HUMOR AND ODDITIES, MUCH LIKE ME! THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT THEY'RE RELATIVELY NORMAL!AND BY THE BY...YOU'D BETTER BUY CRYPTO BEFORE IT STARTS DEFLATING, SUCKERS!Caps Lock: ONE OF YOU EAGER HUMANS ASKED ME ABOUT WHY I TYPED THIS WAY IN MY AMA AND ON HERE! IT'S BECAUSE I THINK IN ALL CAPS!Card-Carrying Villain: LOOK, I ALREADY KNOW I'M A MANIAC. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO KEEP POINTING THAT OUT.Cloud Cuckoo Lander:WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT DEER TEETH?Complete Monster: AND PROUD OF IT!Deal with the Devil:I'LL MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUEIF YOU HELP ME WITH MY PLANS.Demonic Possession: I JUST LOVE DOING THIS! PAIN IS HILARIOUS! TOO BAD FOR THE VICTIM, THOUGH!The Dreaded: EVERYONE IS REALLY SCARED OF ME.NOT SURE WHY.Eldritch Abomination: I AM ONE COMPARED TO YOU PATHETIC HUMANS, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING I EXISTED BEFORE YOUR PUNY DIMENSION.Even Evil Has Standards: DON'T ASK SOMEONE IF THEY'RE EQUILATERAL OR NOT, YOU PERVERT!Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THE HECK EMPATHY EVENIS? I DON'T GET WHY SHOOTING STAR FELT SO BAD FOR TREATING HER BROTHER LIKE A PAWN! I TREATED FORDSIE LIKE ONE AND NOT ONCE DID I FEEL ANYTHING BUT JOY!Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: WHAT DO YOU MEANBAD? OH, COME ON GUYS! I'M HILARIOUS! I'LL TURN THAT FROWN OF YOURS UPSIDE DOWN. LITERALLY.Evil Laugh: HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.Eye Scream: STOP GOING FOR MY EYE!Grand Theft Me: I CAN POSSESS THE BODY OF ANYONE I CAN TRIC\u2014 I MEANCONVINCETO LET ME INTO THEIR HEAD. OF COURSE, WHILE I GET A KICK OUT OF HOW YOUR MEATSACKSCAN FEEL PAIN, IT'S NOT THE SAME AS MY OWN ALL-POWERFUL FORM.Hypocritical Humor: WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING ME A HYPOCRITE CAUSE I CALLED THAT GIRL A MONSTER? SHE'S AN UNNATURAL FREAK!I Just Want to Be Free:MY OLD DIMENSION WASSOBORING AND HADWAYTOO MANY RESTRICTIONS, SO I LIBERATED IT! NOW, I WANT TO FREE YOUR DIMENSION TOO!Lack of Empathy: WHAT THE HECK EVEN IS THAT? IT IS SOMETHING YOU CAN SPREAD ON A POPTART? IS IT THE SAME AS THIS STRANGE THING THEY CALL \"GOOEY-ELT\"? GENUINE QUESTION.Laughably Evil: YOU SAY I'M EVIL, BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT MY LINES ARE COMEDY GOLD!Light Is Not Good: I'M GOLD COLOURED AND EVIL YOU KNOW!The Mad Hatter: I'M CRAZY AND I'M PROUD! AND I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO SHARE IT WITH YOU!ALLOF YOU.My Parents Are Dead: MY ENTIRE FAMILY DIED EONS AGO.BECAUSEIWAS THE ONE WHO KILLED THEM!The Nicknamer: I JUST LOVE GIVING EVERYONE NICKNAMES! THEIR REAL NAMES ARE TOO PATHETIC! AND DID I MENTION THAT \"BILL CIPHER\" IS NOT MY REAL NAME? IT IS BASICALLY A DIMENSIONAL USERNAME, A PRIMITIVE GRUNT DESIGNED FOR YOUR ANALOG EARS! IF YOU WERE TO HEAR MY REAL NAME, YOU'D EVAPORATE TO DUST WITH AN EXPRESSION OF HORROR AND ECSTASY ON YOUR FACE! WHICH WOULD BE FUN, BUT IT WOULD PROBABLY RUIN THE RUG!No Indoor Voice: AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M CONSTANTLY YELLING.Omnicidal Maniac:ILIBERATEDMY DIMENSIONAND I WANT TO DO THE SAME TO YOURS!The Omniscient: OH, I KNOW LOTS OF THINGS!LOTS OF THINGS.Only Known by Their Nickname: AS MENTIONED ABOVE, \"BILL CIPHER\" ISN'T MY REAL NAME. HONESTLY THOUGH, WHO THE HECK THOUGHT AN ANCIET INHUMAN ENTITY LIKE ME WOULD REALLY BE CALLED LIKE THAT?Pungeon Master: YES,EYEDO MAKE QUITE A LOT OF PUNS.Puny Earthlings: FORTUNATELY, YOUR FEEBLE-MINDED KIND LACKS THE ABILITY TO PLAY AROUND WITH THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME LIKE I DO. AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO HILARIOUS TO TORMENT YOU; YOUR SHEER, UTTER LACK OF COMPREHENSION. OH, HO HO HO! I CRACK MYSELF UP SOMETIMES.Psychic-Assisted Suicide: I WAS GONNA GIVE PINE TREE'S BODY A GRAND FINALE BY THROWING OFF THE WATER TOWER, SO THE POOR KID DIDN'T HAVE A HOME TO RETURN TO! TOO BAD MY PLANS WERE RUINED BY HIS STUPID, HALF-WIT SISTER!UGH!Reality Warper: AH, MY FAVORITE HOBBY! I DON'T THINK THERE IS A SINGLE THING MORE ENJOYABLE THAT RANDOMLY TURNING OFF THOSE STUPID, MATHEMATICS-BASED ANNOYANCES YOU CALL \"THE LAWS OF PHYSICS\". OR I COULD JUST SWITCH AROUND YOUR SENSORY ORGANS. OR MAYBE MAKE YOU GROW A NEW BODY PART; THAT'S ALWAYS A HOOT. UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN ONLY PRACTISE MY HOBBY IN DIMENSIONS I HAVE BEEN PHYSICALLY SUMMONED INTO.Sadist: PAIN IS HILARIOUS.EVERYONE'SPAIN IS. I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, AT LEAST HALF OF THE FUN IN TAKING YOU ON A SMALL TOUR BEHIND THE SCENES AND SHOWING YOU THE ZIPPER IN REALITY'S RUBBER SUIT IS WATCHING YOU SQUIRM. OH, PISH POSH, THERE'S NO NEED TO THANK ME. JUST GETTING TO RUIN THINGS AND HURTING PEOPLE IS REWARD ENOUGH IN ITSELF.Smug Snake: LET'S SEE. MY COMPETITION IS A BUNCH OF SNOT NOSED BRATS, THEIR GREAT UNCLES AND A GIANT TALKING BABY!HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?!The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny:YEAH THAT'S RIGHT! YOURS TRULY ENDED UP GOING UP AGAINST ATALKING SKELETONAND GAVE HIM A BAD TIME INUNDER A MINUTE! UNFORTUNATELY THAT ANNOYING MUTT GOT RID OF ME BEFORE I COULD END HIS MISERABLE EXISTENCEFOR GETTING SPLINTERSIN MY EYE. I HOPE HIS FRANCHISE BOMBS ANYWAY.AND WHADDYA KNOW?THAT METAL-ARMED NERD AND HIS HILLBILLY FRIENDDECIDED TO PIT ME AGAINSTSOMEONE WHO LOVES CHAOS AND MESSING WITH REALITY AS MUCH AS I DO.GET READY FOR THINGS TO GETWEIRD, FOLKS!Villain Song: I WAS ORIGINALLY PLANNING TO CELEBRATE MY INAUGURATION AS GRAVITY FALL'S NEW EL GRANDE ENCHILADA IN STYLE, WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL LITTLE DITTY CALLED \"IT'S GONNA GET WEIRD\", BUT IT HAD TO BE CUT FOR TIME. SHOW BUSINESS CAN BE SUCH A FICKLE BALANCING ACT SOMETIMES, LET ME TELL YA.Weaksauce Weakness: HAVING ONLY ONE EYE PRACTICALLY MAKES YOU A TARGET! I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE. I SHOULD BE LUCKY THOSE BRATS DIDN'T HAVE CRAZY ANIME SWORDS LIKEDOGBOY'S TOOTHORSTRAWBERRY BOY'S OVERSIZED KITCHEN KNIFEORTHAT SWORD THAT TOOK DOWN MY PEER, AKUOR I'D BE REALLY IN TROUBLE!When Dimensions Collide: MY MASTER PLAN IS TO OPEN A GATEWAY BETWEEN MY NIGHTMARE REALM DIMENSION AND EARTH, USHERING IN THE GLORIOUS ERA OF WEIRDMAGGEDON! WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT TOOK OVER 1 BILLION YEARS TO COME TO FRUITION?Would Hurt a Child: AND TURN THEM INTO CORPSES!You're Insane!: PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME THISALLTHE TIME. WELL, IKNOWI AM!AND ISN'T THAT JUST GREAT?!REMEMBER, REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM, BUY GOLD, BYE!"}
{"text": "(For the full effect, read this in the voice of Darren Foreman)Yoooo, what up, TV Tropes? Welcome to the self-demonstrating page of the greatest pop star of all time. The one, the only, Billy Joe Cobraaaaa!noteNo relation tothat guy in the maskwho leads that group of villains.Now, I don't think I have to tell you, but I'm kind of a big deal. I mean, I'm the guy who sung some of your favourite songs. You know, \"You Love Me, I Love Me More\", \"Where Have I Been (All Your Life)?\", \"Bromazing\", \"P.S. I Love Me\", you know, all the classics. I was on top of the world back when I was alive... oh, yeah, that's kind of something else I probably should have mentioned.Yeah, I kind of... died young. Real young. Like, I probably didn't even get any grey hairs yet young (not that that's a bad thing, though I totally could've rocked the look). You can probably assume I wasn't done living on Earth yet, so I decided to stick around my old place.And here's something else, I wasn't lonely for very long. See, I left my place to my cuz, Jane Wright. So she decided to move in, bring the fam along even. That's how I ended up meeting my best bro, my cousin's kid, Spencer Wright. He managed to make my guitar pick into a necklace, and from there, it allowed him to be able to see and hear me. We've been buds ever since. And I am gonna stick by my bro no matter what, against bullies, adversaries, and whatever else my old town throws his way.But enough about me, let's talk about my tropes:Ambiguously Jewish: What? Why is this trope here? Does this have anything to do withmy real name, Baruch Cohen?Crossdresser: Yeah, sometimes I'll dress up as a cheerleader, one time a mermaid.Ectoplasm: Yeah, I can make it, being a ghost, and that stuff can do all sorts of crazy things. Spencer doesn't like me using it, though. Not too cool on the side effects.Attention Whore: What can I say? I was meant to be in the spotlight.Berserk Button: While I'm normally a pretty chill bro-ski, if you insult me or my songs, you're gonna regret it.Ghostly Advisor: My new role in death. I'm gonna help Spencer navigate the ins and outs of my old hood to help him succeed as a film director.Invisible to Normals: Yeah, thing about ghosts in my world is that they're only visible to folks who're wearing my clothes.It's All About Me: As it should be. Really, why should it ever not be about me at all times?Stage Name:Okay, yeah, that's true. My real name is Baruch Cohen.Voluntary Shapeshifting: Yeah, I gained the ability to do this after becoming a ghost."}
{"text": "I'm BoJack the horse, man. Don't act like you don't know.Click here to see how I look now\"Well, that was another in a long series of regrettable life choices.\"\u2014From the mouth of the Great Equine Fuck-Up(Best read inWill Arnett's voice.)Well, it's about time I got some recognition around here. Wait,where is here? Never mind, it must be a very fancy place to take on someone like me. Quick question: what's the snack situation in this joint? I mean,I'm not really picky, but I really hope there's some decent catering. Seriously, if there'shoneydew, I'm out the door. Wait, why is a lonely dweeb writing what I'm saying? So it's an interview? For what, I wonder. I mean, everybody knows who I am. Household name here. Just say it. What? Explain it? WHY? No, I mean, seriously, it's me, BoJack Horseman, the Horse fromHorsin' Around. C'mon, don't act like you don't know. (sighs) Well, I guess I'll have to. Princess Carolyn should get me better gigs than this. I'll give her a call. At least Mr. Peanutbutter will never have one of these.noteAnd now,he has one.(beat)AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.Well, let's start: My name is BoJack F. HorsemannoteGood luck finding outwhat the \"F\" stands for. For me, it'sFucking, because that's just how I am. Woah, you can say fuck here? Thank you, it's been a while since I've heard the word without wanting to cut my veins, son of Beatrice Horseman (n\u00e9e Sugarman) and Butterscotch Horseman. I didn't have the best childhood, but through some very lucky breaks and moving to L.A., yours truly found himself serving drinks and doing stand-up inThe Laughing Shackwith my best friend and mentornote(sigh)Herb Kazzaz and his girlfriend and anotherdeerfriend of minenoteI need a drink. Do you have scotch here?Charlotte Moore. Herb managed to pitch a show to some drunk network executives. A little sitcom calledHorsin' Around. Together, we were the happiest patch-up family sinceThe Munsters. And then, we weren't. You know, I really don't want to talk about this anymore. If you really want to know, you can watch my show, it's onNetflix. Right now, I've had a few hits in my stablenoteGet it? Mmmh, am I using too many notes?:Secretariat, the famous biopic where I play the title character (and my personal hero) and currently I'm playing Philbert in the new WhatTimeIsItRightNow's original series,PhilbertnoteWhat do you mean it's cancelled? What...? Oh. Did I...? Oh, no....If you want to find me, I'm usually at my house by the cliffside or hanging out with my best friend Diane Nguyen, for whom I've always had platonic feelings and nothing else, ok? If you can't reach me and it's for a movie offer, contact Princess Carolyn at VIM Agencies.She's always happy to receive offers for me.On second thought, if you're sending me any offers, it looks like you're going to have to forward them to the Los Angeles Supermax Prison for a while.Anyway, in case you are looking for a star, here's a short portfolio of my work in Film and TV.TV:Horsin' Around(1987-1996):The Horse.The BoJack Horseman Showformerly known asMitch's Life(2007):Myself. Also wrote the pilot episode.F.H.B.A.noteStands for Felicity Huffman's Booty Academy. Ugh, if only I would have known the initials(2017):Guest Judge.Philbert(2018):Philbert.Birthday Dad(2020): Dead Body #4FILM:Secretariat(2015):Secretariat.The Horny Unicorn(2020): The Horny UnicornI also was invited to guest-star on Mr. Peanutbutter's game showHollywoo Stars and Celebrities. What Do They Know? Do They Know Things? Let's Find Out!First-ever episode, actually. So no big deal or anything.All good? Oh, you're not looking for someone right now? Well, no biggie. I'll....just....leave you this....heeeeeeereeeee. Right here. In case you change your mind.Note: If you are gonna read this page (and you will, probably. Let's face it, if you're reading about me, you're a fan of mine), read it with the voice of the one and onlyWill Arnett. Of course, that is if you haven't done so already. Everybody saysit's impossible to read somethingI say in other than the voice ofGOB Bluth. He has a really deep, sexy voice.Oh and for some reason they want me to promoteMr Peanutbutter's page.Back in TV Tropes, I had these famous character traits....'80s Hair: What? It was the rage back in the day! Although it's a sign of pretentious douchebags now, so there's that. But still, forH.A.'s entire run, my mullet rocked.Abstract Apotheosis: As far as the internet is concerned, I am the \"sad horse\". Wanna hear a better one? Some critics (yuck!) have even commented on their reviews ofBoJackthatI'm defined by my depression. Let's see what else...Oh! I'mthe \"broken heart\" of the series. Hahahahahahaha...ha... Let's move on.Abusive Parents: Crappy childhoods really make the star, huh? My mother, Beatrice, was a cruel woman who was never pleased with anything I did and hated the fact I existed. You could blame my grandfather (may he roast in Hell for all I care) for creating the problems for both of us. My father, Butterscotch, well...he would berate me and all, but I don't really remember him being present in my life as I grew up. I always saw them fighting and well, for better or worse, that made us a family: the knowledge that our grudges, resentments and broken dreams bound us together.This cause me to have an internalized self-hatred of horses, so thanks a lot, you two massive assholes.Adventure Duo: Me and Diane when we work together. We're like the dynamic duo, only way better. Sure, most of the time we get our hopes dashed by reality. But until then, we enjoy the ride.Affectionate Nickname: Herb used to call me \"BJ\" when we were still young and idealistic.The Alcoholic: It's not a problem(for the most part). Horses process alcohol at a slower pace, so it usually takes a lot of booze to get me plastered. It speaks by itself that be it at a party, a wedding or just a stop at Bellican's, I usually end upbeyond plastered.Always a Bigger Fish: No matter what I do, I'll never be as famous as I want to. Bigger stars always beat me to the spot.Ambiguous Disorder: Depression, of course. Does that count?Beyond that, something calledNarcissisticPersonality Disorder. Other pseudo-psychiatrists (even worse than normal ones) have said it's Histrionic or Dependent Personality Disorder. Make up your mind! See, this is why I don't trust those quacks.Ambiguously Bi: What the hay...I'm not bi! You say a few things and everyone goesRule 34on younoteAndJapan decides to join in.. But, still, I guess some comments may have been taken the wrong way. I hope.It's not my fault stuff gets stuck in my butt. Ana and PC should be more careful where they leave their things. Although I don't mind it as foreplay. Just heads up, that's all I'm asking.When my friend Herb was outed as gay duringH.A.'s fifth season, he came to my dressing room to ask me for support since the studio was being pressured to fire him (Aah,The '90s). I wasn't disgusted by his gayness or anything, but I was very afraid of coming out...AND SUPPORTING HIM, OK? THAT'S IT! Still, he was my friend and he got me started in the business, so I decided to do it. As he was leaving, I couldn't help it and I, you know, asked him about the \"party trains\" they normally did. They sounded like fun, right? Who doesn't like a good, hard party? That was it, nothing serious. He just looked weird at me, so I simply shrugged it off as cool as I could muster.Then, there was the time when I guest-starred inHollywoo Stars And Celebrities: What Do They Know? Do They Know Things? Let's Find Out!, hosted by my frenemy, Mr. Peanutbutter and I\u2014I kissed himnoteMr. Peanutbutter: Hey, BoJack! What's this place? You were talking about me?BoJack: (sighs) Heeeeeyyyyy, Mr. Peanubutter! No, we weren't. Now go away.The audience was pressuring me and I really didn't want to do it. People have come and said to me that I didn't put a big fight, but I just wanted to bury the hatchet (or the bone? No, no, no, the hatchet! The hatchet!), so I decided to get it over with. At least, he was tender and his hand on my crest was soothing.noteMr. Peanutbutter: You know? I didn't mind it that much. You kiss really good.BoJack: Get out of here! This is my...really?Mr. Peanutbutter: Yeah. I even said it to the show's audience. Stern, but supple, remember? Besides, it was to get even for kissing Diane. She was my wife at the time, remember? Nobody kisses my wife!BoJack: ....We'll never talk about this again. And she's your ex-wife.After returning to Hollywoo after a year or so, I lost my mother's baby doll and tried to get in contact with Diane to help me find it. Thing is, I arrived at her house completely shit-faced and because of that, PB offered to \"take me home\" like Eddie Money. Besides being an asinine analogy, I wasn't going to \"go home with [him]\". Maybe 'cause I was drunk, but for some reason, I added that if we were going together, I'd get to play \"Eddie Money\" in the scenario. I guess I don't like being called \"easy\" while drunk?(shrugs)noteMr. Peanutbutter: Oh, so that's what the song means! I never knew.BoJack: Seriously? You've probably heard it several times in a row and just now you're finding that out?Mr. Peanutbutter: Well, I had never really paid attention to the lyrics.BoJack: Whatever, just don't ever say something dumb like that ever again. By which I mean don't speak again.Mr. Peanutbutter: By the way, BoJack, didn't you say you wouldn't talk about \"us\" moments ever again?BoJack:...I hate you.Amicable Exes:Depends on how charitable and tolerant PC is feeling about me and my screw-ups, which is not very often. Still, she's my agent, we know each other too well and we go way back. Not even a nasty (professional) break-up could keep us apart for too long, so when we're good, we're the best.notePrincess Carolyn: Hey, dummy, I got your message. You better be good during the writing of your Self-Demonstrating Page, 'cause I may have something big for you and you'll lose it if you act like Mr. Jackass. It'll be good, just behave.BoJack: Last time I leave a voicemail.Anti-Hero/Anti-Villain: I kinda toe the line. It's true I'm not the innocent foal I used to be and I have a laundry list of dirty deeds, betrayals and overall shitty things I'll never right with anybody. But still, I'm not that bad; it's just a matter of starting to prove it.Attention Whore: I am famous and don't ever pretend otherwise.Badflank and Baby Seahorse Duo: Really,badflank?Aren't you allowed to say ass here? Anyway, there was a little seahorse who got lost outside Pacific Ocean City and I was around, so I helped him.It was quick and had no emotional impact on me.Bastard Angst: Let's just say my parents didn't expect me. I was doing good by myself, but they had so much hatred to share and I felt bad for having caused them such grief. Like it was my fault.Still, it helped me guide Hollyhock through the process, so it wasn't all bad.Became Their Own Antithesis: Too late to point that out, man. Back inThe '90s, I was in a very famous TV show. Young, energetic, idealistic and like an open book. Now, whenever people see me, they can't help but point out how old, grumpy and tired I look. This was especially notable when I reunited with Herb (it didn't go over so well) and Charlotte. They looked older and just as tired, but they still looked at me like I wasn't the same guy from back in the day, like I had \"changed\". They were right.Beneath the Mask: I may not look like Mr. Sunshine, but trust me: most of my grumpiness and good social skills? Comes from much lesser pain than the one I hide and keep inside of me every day. Although there arethose who believeI shouldn't use that as an excuse. They're probably right.Berserk Button: Okay, are you ready for the trivia? These are the top things you never do unless you want topiss me off.Don't say anything good about Mr. Peanutbutter.noteMr. Peanutbutter: So where would they say it? Funnily enough, I can't find my Twitter account.BoJack: I don't care, just don't. Also, never use my account again. I've changed my password.Never pretend honeydew is anything other than garbage fruitnoteSeriously, Netflix, never again.I'm not a has-been. I've had plenty of hits sinceHorsin' Aroundfinished.H. A.doesn't suck. ONLY I GET TO SAY IT SUCKED!! ME!!noteAna: BoJack, I just passed here because I remember something very different...BoJack: (gulps) How come you still got the key to my apartment?Big Brother Instinct:I could have left Hollyhock to go door-to-door, looking for her mother in such a big city like L.A., but much to my chagrin, I dragged through asking around until I found her, even if it meant getting the stink eye of every scattered ex I've had.Big Brother Mentor: Look, I'm all about being seen as a role model as the rest, but I know better. This life isn't what it's cracked up to be. Still, whatever little knowledge I've got, I try to pass it on...as bluntly as possible.Taneisha shouldn't have listened to me the first time. It's not often that the father's bride asks you to talk with her daughter. Seriously, that's their job, why would you put that on me? Fair enough, I was a celebrity. Taneisha didn't know if Karen \"completed\" her, so there goes the heartwarming speech I'd prepare.(neighs in frustration)In short, I said her options were to settle with someone who likes at least half of what she does or live the rest of her life alone. She just can't get picky or she'd end up like me. Nailed it. Too bad the speech bummed me out because then I made an even bigger mistake with Todd's friend Emily.Hollyhock knows better than listening to me, which I appreciate since I can't walk through eggshells every time we talk. She's young and I'm old, so she's still naive about a few life facts, which leaves me with the task of educating her about it.Big Eater: Fine, I have no self-control,is that what you want to hear?!This is what happens when you combine the literal appetite of a horse with an inner void that has to be filled with attention, food, and sex!Born Unlucky: Would you believe me if I told you I've got a bad track when it comes to luck?noteWhat do you mean you do?Broken Pedestal: Surprisingly no, even after my childhood hero Secretariats dirty secrets were revealed and he killed himself, I never lost my admiration for him. If anything I find him more relatable now as an adult than I did as a child.Butt-Monkey: A bit. Maybe. Who am I kidding? It'd be easier for me to just rename myself a walking disaster area. I come from poison and I can be poison, so why wouldn't poison be around the same?Byronic Hero: Pfffft...as if. Just because I follow the archetypical mold (brooding, passionate about things the society I live in don't care too much about, rebellious, impeccable wit), I fail in one aspect: I'm not that self-centered. I think. Honestly, most of the BH I know are villa...oh, BH. Yeah, the \"not a good person\" argument. Shit. Hold on, there's another trait: \"broken\". See? I have my flaws, but I hold together pretty well.No deep issues here, I tell you.Cannot Tell Fiction from Reality: What, you meanbesidesmy insistence that my life works like a sitcom? Well, there was that one timeI got so hopped up on painkillers that the lines between BoJack Horseman and Detective Philbert blurred like my own vision. Gina thought I was just \"taking the character home\" with me. Jesus, I wish she was right...Cannot Tell a Joke: Hey, I resent that! Okay, fine, I'll admit my standup days weren't the highest point of my career, but hey, the material was fine, I just had problems with the delivery. And the tempo. And maybe I shouldn't have kept asking the audience if they \"got it\". Cut me some slack, literally, the only positive reinforcement I'd ever gotten at that point in my life was people laughing at some of my jokes in school, I think I can be forgiven for being a little desperate.Cynical Mentor: I'd prefer to see it as being honest. After all, why would anyone ask for my help if they aren't desperate? It's better this way, they'll learn some harsh truths and realize what a shitty world they've been dropped into, hopefully leading them to appreciate how good they got it. To have someone to love, someone who loves you, family, friends, lovers...Dammit, why can't it be me?Darkest Hour: *whistles* I know I said I don't believe in rock bottom, because there's always a rockier bottom underneath, but I find it hard to think it could get any worse than this.I lost my job, my house, my money, Hollyhock disowned me, I'm the pariah of Hollywoo, I fell off the wagon, had to sell off my rights to Horsin Around just so they can re-release the series with all my scenes cut out, almost drowned in my old pool, and finally, I got 14 months in prison. Ironically, prison is the least horrible part of it all. At least in here, staying sober and stable is easy.Deadpan Snarker: I'm assuming thee is the one they call \"Captain Obvious\". Just when I thought something so useless couldn't be a superpower. Snarker...No kidding! You've been reading this page so far and you haven't noticed how much of a smartass I am, that's more on you than me. Still, I guess I'm kind of snarky, right? It's a family curse, sorry, although somehow I managed to make this trait funny in contrast with my mum and dad who could only make it cruel and you know you love me for it.Death Seeker/Mortality Phobia: Yeah, somehow you can get both of these, who knew? On one hand, I engage in incredibly toxic and self-destructive behavior as a response to my godawful childhood and terrible life in general, on the other, the thought of actually dying is so damn terrifying...As my friend Herb may or may not have said, \"There is no other side. This is it\"Desperately Craves Affection: Not that I know what to do with it even when I get it...Does Not Like Spam: Seriously, what is WITH this damn town and honeydew melon?! Whoever looked at a fruit cup and went \"hmmm, this needs more honeydew\"? It's a garbage fruit for garbage people!Though after actually trying some at PC's wedding, I actually kind of liked it.Doom Magnet: As you can guess with the trope mentioned below (No not the funeral one, why would I-), no matterwhatI do, the ones I love always seem to suffer. Like I said earlier, it'd be easier to rename myself a walking disaster area.The \"Fun\" in \"Funeral\": Oh please, don't pretend you all haven't delivered a harsh and heartfelt eulogy at your mother's funeral, only to realize you were in the wrong funeral parlor! Maybe the audience consisting entirely of geckos should have tipped me off.Hero with an F in Good: Look, it's not my fault, okay? It's that every time I try to be nice, somebody ends up making things even worse!Hell the one time, I literally didn't give in to my impulse to drink due to a bad situation, it somehow led to Doctor Champ's life being ruined.Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Yeah, no. It wasn't \"hilarious.\" My conniving, self-centered mother couldn't even bring herself to admit she made any mistakes raising me in a household where the volume was always turned all the way up. I mean, hey, I broke theCycle of Revenge, what more do you want from me?Hollywood Pudgy:Are you calling me fat?!Just go ahead, say it, I'm fat! *sighs* Alright, if I'm honest, I'm in okay shape considering I'm a middle-aged alcoholic, but since I actually do live in Hollywood, surrounded by borderline anorexics who all look like they're near death most of the time, it does make me look fatter.Important Haircut: I'm almost 60 for god's sake, you really think I still have naturally black hair? I've been dying it for years. I finally decided to stop when I reunited with Sharona, who had been the hairdresser and makeup artist on Horsin' Around until... well, you can probably guess it was another selfish and stupid act on my part. She convinced me to cut my hair and wash out the dye, and... hm. It doesn't look too bad. More fitting my age, you know?Interrupted Suicide: It wasn't... look after Sarah Lynn died, it was rock bottom for me, alright? I'd screwed things up with Todd, Anna left me becauseSecretariatwasn't an Oscar nominee, then there's what happened in New Mexico. I wasn't going to... I mean, I just let go of the steering wheel, and let things happen as they might, but... well, then I saw that flock of wild horses running around, and I felt I had to stop.One timebeforeSarah Lynn died, I drove my Tesla into the pool and expected to drown. Unfortunately, this was all ruined by grrr...Mr. Peanutbutter. Thanks a lot, asshole.Wow, and I thought I was at rock bottom before. At least this time I can blame falling off the wagon for almost drowning in my pool...Jackass: C'mon, it's not that bad. A little selfishness here, a little rudeness there and too short of a fuse at times. That's all. Sometimes, it's people projecting how much their lives suck because of me...wait, that came out wrong, I meant...Jackass with a Heart of Gold: Hey, watch your mouth! I don't see it when it happens but according to others, I can be a genuine pain in the ass (or flank): rude, obnoxious, cowardly, snarky, arrogant and too full of myself. Even with all of that, I can act like a good person when I feel like it.Jackass with A Heart (and Look) of Jackass: You're seriously pushing my buttons with this word. Although, it'd be easier to count the times some (okay, okay, most) of the good I've done has been \"Old Yeller\"-ed while running for its life because of my persistent selfishness, insecurity, and impulsiveness.Can we at least count the times I've been trying toget the fuck out ofdoing this?In Touch with His Feminine Side: Not to the extent of YellowSnitterover there. After all, there must be a reason why my best (fully clothed) relationships are with women. Which is not the same as saying they're functional or healthy, but c'mon: Diane? Hollyhock? Princess Carolyn? Compare them to my relationship with Mr. Peanutbutter and Todd, if you can call that a relationship. And it's not like I know how to handle or understand it, much less claim to speak for others. This might be why I thought it'd be a good thing that I became a feminist icon. Big mistake.Lies to Children: Come on, Todd doesn't count, he's just aManchild, not a literal child! Oh, uh, unless you mean some of my interactions with Hollyhock? Fine, but in my defense, I confessed to her WAY faster than to most people I've lied to.Master Actor: Well, I don't mean to brag but let's say my experience onHorsin' Arounddidn't translate very well to media not focused on sitcom shenanigans. It'd be nicer if I could channel my acting skills without being on the edge of a nervous breakdown, though.My Greatest Failure: Uh... oh, God. There's a lot to pick from.Probably turning my back on my friend Herb onHorsin' Around. Or maybe when I went to New Mexico and almost slept with that teenage girl. No wait, it was letting Sarah Lynn die, especially when I didn't call for help right away. And then there was that time I sent a rehab doctor back on the sauce, which threatened his marriage with his husband. Ooh, but then there was...You know what, I'm done talking about this. Forget it.Near-Death Experience:It was... somehow both terrifying and pleasant. I mean, I did almost die, but I did get to see Herb again. And Sarah Lynn. And Zach Braff for some reason. I honestly forgot he was dead too. I don't know if it was just a dream, or if I really did see them all again, but... Well, I came back to life, so I guess I won't know for sure just yet.Only Sane Man: I'll admit I have my own hangups and obsessions, but have you ever actually been toHollywoo? With the exception of Diane, sometimes I feel like I'm the only person here with even a basic level of common sense. Even Princess Carolyn, for all her normal competence, dated a guy who wasclearlyjust three kids in a trenchcoat for god knows how long. To this day, I don't think she ever figured it out.Older Than They Look: Sure, I'm not quite the handsome devil I was in the '80s and '90s, but before I let my mane go back to its natural grey, would you have believed I was pushing 60?Phrase Catcher: *groan* Yes, for the final goddamn time, Iamthe Horse fromHorsin' Around!Though to be fair, I don't get asked that much anymore. Not since the edited version got released. So many years of my life, and what do I have to show for it?Platonic Life-Partners: There hasn't been any woman I've loved the way I love Diane. Ok, maybe PC, but that's another deal. I don't know if it could be classified asjust \"platonic\", but we're like mirrors: one cool, one dorky. We talk alike, we understand each other and we help any way we can.Precision F-Strike: Usually, I'll only hear someone actually say the word \"fuck\" to me if they're cutting me out of their life forever.Let's see... I've had \"Get the fuck out of my house,\" \"I will fucking kill you,\" \"Fuck, man, what else is there to say,\" \"What the fuck is wrong with you...\" I'd rather not get into the specifics of those right now, though. Or ever.I tried to get in a \"Fuck you, Mom\" myself, but that didn't really pan out how I wanted it to. Story of my life.Really Gets Around: In the 90's, my penis was like sun-dried tomatoes, it got intoeverything!It... made looking for Hollyhock's potential birth mother a real pain in the ass. And completely pointless, as it turns outRiches to Rags:The 5 million dollar settlement to Sarah Lynn's parents stung a bit, but getting sued for 100 million by the Xerox Corporation for accidentally associating myself with them wrung me dry, so right now, I'm broke, homeless, and crashing on Mr. Peanutbutters couch. Or I will, once my jail term is up. Well, at least it's rent-free... But, well, there is a \"but\". The whole controversy surrounding my trial was, according to people in the movie business,really great advertisementfor thatHorny Unicornflick I made before going to jail, and it is poised to be a breakthrough hit that willrevive my career, so apparently it is just a matter of short time before I'm back in the green... If I can be candid with you, that thought actually kind of worries me for once...Small Name, Big Ego:Hey!I'll have you know my ego is exactly as big as befits a huge star like me! It's not my fault everyone is jealous of myHorsin' Aroundfame!Surrounded by Idiots: Again,it's Hollywoo, I don't know if this town just attracts morons or if you get dumber just by living here. *sigh* Well, considering my track record, it's probably both...Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist:Well, it's not that simple. Here's how it goes: I am an egocentric has-been (except not, I'm still relevant! See?) with a huge ego (Huge? One suggests having aHorsin' AroundHorse Holiday once and people just blow it off proportions), entitlement issues (by the way, is this job paid? I know I'm doing it still, but I'd like to know so I can go. Kirkland snacks, bad reception, non-famous reading about me...seriously, the only good thing os far is me giving a monologue) and a tendency to treat my friends horribly (Huh, forgot my Tic-Tacs. Must be in the car...Oh, right. PB is probably in the passenger seat, locked. Forgot to slide the window down. Took the key, too. Meh, it's probably nothing), but I have my better moments and whenever I suffer, it's not exactly a happy occasion because I usually end up beating myself about it, which leads to bigger problems. Also, my general unhappiness with my life and relatable troubled personality often drains unpleasant thoughts and draws support from you, my fans.Villain Protagonist: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it there! I'm not a villain...well, I don't think I am. I have made my fair share of misdemeanors, but villain? I mean,I have (reluctantly) betrayed my best friend, hooked with one of my child co-stars's mother (which, apparently led to a divorce. Can't remember her face, though) committedMonumental Damageto impress a woman in a relationship, sabotaged a friend's dream to keep him around, almost slept with an old flame's daughter because of the resemblance, helped obliterate another cast member's weak resolve for sobriety which lead to her death and almost strangled a co-star during a drug binge.But I'm...I'm...I...........I.......I caused all of this. (beat) Maybe I'm not as likable as I could be. Not as good. But...but I-I'm not a bad guy. I-I-I...I try not to be. Some of the time. I...I could make a bigger effort, I guess. I'll make a bigger effort, I promise.What Could Have Been: I never really got over Charlotte, and often wondered what might have happened if I had taken her up on her invitation and went to Maine with her. I always liked to imagine her living in a cabin by a lake up there, and if I had gone with her... well... Of course, I eventually found out that she was only in Maine for a month, then moved to New Mexico, got married, had kids, the whole nine yards. I really shouldn't have been surprised.White Sheep: Before anyone asks, it's a metaphor. And I am willing to concede that sounds absurd to describe me as such (Especially coming from my mouth) but considering my father, my mother, and somehow even worse grandfather Joseph, I'm technically this by comparison. The trueWhite Sheep(again metaphorical) is Hollyhock, who dodged a bullet by not meeting most of them when they were still alive....And by distancing herself from me. (beat) You made the right choice, Hollyhock."}
{"text": "\"It don't matter. None of it matters.\"(For full effect, read in the voice of Dave Willis).This is Carl ofAqua Teen Hunger Forceand this is my TV Tropes Self-Demonstrating page of the Century of the Week! I happen to be neighbors with a giant cup, a box of fries and a wheel of beef. They piss me off when they try to go to my freaking pool! I am also known as the Pigskin Wizard, the Gridiron Einstein and the Turf Whisperer!Check out these frickin' tropes!All Men Are Perverts: I own plenty of nude magazines. I don't want the Fryman to sell them for research for his freaking projects!Berserk Button: As long as you don't get in my freaking pool, talk crap about the New York Giants, or mess with my car, I'm cool.Breakout Character: I happen to be the host of a football show called \"Carl's Lock\", where I report everything about football.Butt-Monkey: Don't frickin' remind me...Carpet of Virility: I have tons of hair, even though I am going bald.Cosmic Plaything: I don't know if I believe in God, but he probably hates me. I'malwaysdying.Hilariously Abusive Childhood: My dad forced me to eat carpet during Christmas. I still don't remember robots and lasers appearing during that day.Jerkass Has a Point: Okay, so I'm not the frickin' Neighbor of the Year, but can you really blame me for being pissed at those food objects all the time? They're always killing me, and the cup is a psychopath!Police Are Useless: With all the crazy crap my neighbors get up to, the cops stopped taking my calls a long time ago.Sixth Ranger: I am not a living piece of food, but people fricking like me!They Killed Kenny Again: Like I said, I'm always dying, usually thanks to my frigging neighbors. Yet somehow, I'm always alive in the next episode. Ya know what I'm saying?Throw the Dog a Bone: I once sold my house toDanzigfor a million dollars. Greatest day of my freakin' life!Token Human: I am the only human being to be shown throughout the fricking show.Verbal Tic: What are you frigging talking about? My speech is fine!Your Head Asplode: Your head'd explode too if your jackass next door neighbor yelled at you after totaling your freakin' car twice in two days."}
{"text": "Aren't you lucky to be in the presence of a celebrity!\"Chris McLean is the best host ever! How'd you get your own show?! You stink!\"\u2014Steve the Yetiand definitely not me,TDA: Aftermath: Trent's DescentLast time onTotal Drama...huh? What's this? TV Tropes? Um, my agent didn't say anything about doing this. I wasSUPPOSEDto be hosting a show here! McLean out!Phone rings with the theme of Total Drama Island playing.Hello? What's that? I AM getting paid for doing this? And a surefire spot as host in the next season? Well... I guess I can manage but you have to include a clause where I am to not be held accountable for anything that happens to the contestants in the next season! For-ev-er! Do you agree? Awesome!Okay! Change of plans! Looks like I DO have some time to spare. But hurry up! My hot tub isn't going to help me relax without me being in there! But I guess I better give out an introduction first. Ahem! I am Chris McLean! The Host with the Most and I am the host of the Total Drama Island series. After my stellar performances from my older days, the company has begged for ME to host their show! Throughout the seasons, I meet different cast members whom I all despise and love to torture! Many people believe my sadism has gotten worse over each season but rest assured, I'm still my same old self! Until I was thrown in jail for anentire year!Anywho, time to wrap this up as I have a date with a hot tub that is best enjoyed hot! Will I answer all necessary tropes to satisfy the reader? Will this only show how much of a sadistic person I am? Will I greatly regret even doing this in the first place? Find out right here on Total Drama TV Tropes! If you want to read this in my voice, read it in the voice ofChristian Potenza, or for Spanish-speaking users, Jhonny Torres!Here are the tropes that best describe me! The Host with the Most!Attention Whore: Hah! Do you think you're watching Total Drama just for those other annoying teens? No, no, no! I'm the host of the show so of course, all attention is on me! Of course, just try to hog the spotlight from me. I'll make sure you pay for it. Painfully! (chuckles evilly)Bad Boss: What? You think my treatment of my interns is downright horrific? Hah! They're just interns! They don't feel anything and if one dies...I mean gets hurt, then I'll get another & you wanna know why? Because interns are EXPENDABLE!!! THAT'S WHY!!!Berserk Button: Yeah...I have a lot so I'll list them below:Do not ever, EVER cut me off! I hate it when those dumb teens overtalk whenever I'm trying to describe a challenge to them! And they get mad at ME whenever they whine and complain if I don't explain things right.Do not mess with any of my stuff! They're MY stuff and I have EARNED those things! When Sierra blew up my plane, I kicked her out of the show even though she won the challenge that day! Oh, and Duncan is sitting nicely in a jail cell for DESTROYING MY BEAUTIFUL COTTAGE!!Do not bring up any embarrassing moments from my past! I had to shut up Sierra when she revealed I was in a boy band and made me the laughingstock of the others! It was at that moment I stopped treating Sierra nicely and began to torture her just as much as the other contestants.Do NOT ask me about my age! I'm middle-aged and that's all you need to know!As I stated above, do NOT try to hog my spotlight or try to take over my show! I got Dakota mutated and Topher shot out a cannon because of it!Dark and Troubled Past:I do not want to talk about it but something happened in my past that caused me to become the guy you all know and love to hate.Deadpan Snarker: I do have my moments of this, especially with the type of cast I deal with.Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Yes, I'm a pretty terrible guy but I am still close with my mom. She even still sends me cute pics of her cats sometimes!Even Evil Has Standards: Yes, I am a cruel guy that loves seeing teens get hurt in numerous painful and funny ways. However, even I foundHeatherreading Gwen's diary to the entire world messed up.Faux Affably Evil: Hey, I'm a pretty chill guy to hang with on the outside! On the inside, I just happen to not care what happens to you or anyone else and love torturing you for fun!Flanderization: I'm accused of getting more and more cruel and sadistic over the seasons. I don't see what they mean as I've ALWAYS been this way! Locking me up in jail for a year has caused me to be more \"edgy\" I'll admit.Hate Sink: I'll admit, NOBODY in the series likes me. Hah! I don't care as the feeling is mutual!It's All About Me: Duh! I am not the HOST of Total Drama for nothing! When something occurs that puts others' lives at risk, of course, I'm saving my butt first! There is only one valuable \"me\" in this world! Hello!Jerkass: Um, if you're reading everything up to this point, this shouldn't surprise you.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I've been described as an unpleasant person and even with me only looking out for myself, but there are SOME lines thateven I won't dare to cross.Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Make up your mind! Either I'm a jerk sometimes or a jerk all of the time! It is mostly the latter so...Lack of Empathy: What? I'm supposed to show concern for the cast members whenever they get hurt or almost die? Hello! I'm the host! I'm not supposed to show concern for the cast members as it shows weakness!Morality Pet: This trope appears to be taken literally as the only ONE thing I care for right and never showed any hostility toward is my pet mutated plant, Larry.Narcissist: What? You need to have a perfect figure like mine to be able to host a show like Total Drama. And it also costs a LOT to keep myself looking good so yes! Also, almost everything MUST have my face on them! The Gilded Chris Awards from Season 2 are one of my favorite prizes to give away!Not Me This Time: No Heather. I did NOT steal your immunity idol. It was obviously Alejandro.You think one of the most cunning and manipulative characters in the entire show would be quick to assume the person she literally told she found the idol to was the culprit!Seems like all of the cast duringAll-Starsgot a lot stupider over the years.Older Than He Looks: SHUT UP!!! I look good no matter what my age is and I'd rather not go into how old I am!Pet the Dog: Hey! Even if my heart is colder than the food we serve the cast, I am capable of kindness! For example:I let Katie and Satie reunite after the latter was eliminated. The two are inseparable so I thought to at least let them have their moment.I mentioned thatDJwould be missed after being eliminated in the first season. If evenHeatherjoined in on a group hug, it's safe to say he deserved the friendly departure.Gwen and Courtney finally burying the hatchet and becoming friends again was very, very touching. Even I shed a single tear over how heartwarming that was and decided to give them both a point.I take great care of my pet mutated giant plant, Larry. He (later revealed to be a she) is pretty much the only thing I truly show care for at all times!Psychopathic Manchild: Hey, I take offense to that! Not the \"psychopathic\" part, that's pretty much true. ButI'm not a manchild!I'll eliminate you if you keep calling me one!Sanity Slippage: Well...being locked up in jail for a year has caused me to get a little..unhinged...Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: I loooove doing this! Being the host, I have the power to do what I want whenever I want! It makes the show more interesting and fun! For me!Teen Hater: Yes, I have admitted on screen that I despise teenagers. Though considering all the stuff I've done to them, this shouldn't be a shocker.Took a Level in Jerkass: A lot of people say that I was indeed a jerk in the first few seasons of Total Drama but I still had somePet the Dogmoments and even someEven Evil Has Standardsmoments that made it seem I wasn't all THAT bad. However, by Revenge of the Island, I dropped all of that and focused purely on torturing the new cast as sadistically as I can! I even pulled off an impressiveEvil Laughto show how low I sunk!Trademark Favorite Food: My favorite drink is tomato juice. Not that you or Sierra should have known that...Vitriolic Best Buds: A good way to describe me and Chef's friendship. In some episodes, he's annoying me and trying to get me hurt in some way. In other episodes, I'm inviting him to lunch or to watch the other teen's torment.What Happened to the Mouse?: You're probably wondering why I didn't host that spin-off, The Ridonculous Race. It's simple, I didn't feel like it.Would Hurt a Child: Well, not younger kids but considering the cast from Total Drama Island and Total Drama World Tour were around 16 and I love torturing them through various life-threatening challenges, I guess so!There! I am done with this! McLean out!"}
{"text": "A picture of me.Um...hi, readers. My name isChuckie Finster, and this is my page on the Interwebby-thing.I should probably tell you about me. Well, I'm only two years old, and I live with my mommy, daddy, my adopted sister Kimi, and our two doggies Fifi and Pepper.My friends are this boy named Tommy who's a bit younger than me but much braver, his little brother Dil, Phil and Lil who are twins that live next door to Tommy and Dil, a very smart big girl Susie, and Tommy's older cousin Angelica. Okay, I am a bit scared of Angelica, because she's quite mean, but she's my friend anyway. Tommy's the bravliest, but they're all more bravely than me, but that's okay, I'm used to not being brave.I like to play in the sand, on slides and with blocks, but don't like it when people puts blocks where they're not susposed to go. My favouritest toy is a bear called Wawa. I don't really like new things, 'cause I find them scary, but they're okay or even good when I gets used to them. Oh and big me is gonna share this page with me.Tropes about meAccidental Misnaming: Tommy's little brother Dil sometimes calls me Ducky.Baby Talk: Well, I'm only two, so don't blame me if I don't talk right.Berserk Button: Mostly, I don't gets mad at people, but don't unsort my blocks.Big Brother Instinct: When my daddy married Kimi's mommy, Kimi became my little sister. At first, I was worried that I wasn't going to be a good big brother and that Kimi didn't really need me to protect her, acause' she's brave and I'm not. When I sawed two boys kicking sand at each other, and some of the sand landed on Kimi, I worked up the courage to tell them to leave her alone. Fortunately, they meaned no harm to her.Blind Without 'Em: Without my glasses, everything looks blurry unless I sees it up really close.Butt-Monkey: Im not a monkey and I don't like them after our adventure in the woods. But more bad things happens to me than my friends.Catchphrase: I likes to say \"We're Doomed!\" whenever we gets into trouble, and \"I don't think this is such a good idea.\" whenever Tommy tries to talk me into going on a adventure.Embarrassing Damp Sheets: There was that one time, I wetted the bed while staying at Tommy's. He didn't mind though.Facing Your Fears: Mostly, I'm fine with being afraid, but if I have to quit being scared of something or do something even though I'm scared, I pretend to be a big brave dog. Susie taught me.Feud Episode: One time, I thought Tommy's ideas were too scary so I decided not to be his friend anymore. Another time, he and I got mad 'cause we couldn't agree on what to play so we finded different people to play with. Sorry for both of those times if you're reading this, Tommy, though I don't thinks you can read.I Don't Think That's Such a Good Idea: Sometimes, Tommy's ideas are crazy, and I don't think they're good ideas.In-Series Nickname: Tommy sometimes calls me Chuckaroo, while Phil and Lil's mommy calls me Chuckster. Angelica calls me Scaredy-Cat.Like Father, Like Son: I guess I am kinda like my dad. We both has red hair and glasses, we both get scared easily, and we're both allergic to dandelions.Limited Wardrobe: Mostly I always wears red shoes, yellow socks, green pants and a blue shirt with a planet on. In fact, when I losted my shirt, I felt I had to change my name.Lovable Coward: I scare easily, but I'm a nice boy.Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: My sister Kimi is a lot like Tommy; she's very adventurous and when she loses something, she wanders into strange territory to get it back. I'm not so brave, so whenever I lose something, I prefer to leave it where it is. However, when Kimi wanders into strange territory, I'll go in with her to make sure nothing bad happens to her.Missing Mom: I used to have a different mommy but she's not around anymore. Well,she's dead so she can't really show up.Luckily, I gots a new mommy now.Nature Tinkling:When I was learning to use the grown-ups' potty, I was worried about being watched, so I decided to go on a tree, but that wasn't allowed. I thought that Spike was part of the rules too so we tried to potty-train him, but then he wented on the tree again and they didn't mind, so I decided they'd changed the rules again and peed on the tree.Also, I went potty in the drainforest while we gots on an island.Neat Freak: I like having my blocks put away, and stacked big to small. Tommy finds that annoying, so sorry, Tommy.One-Episode Fear: When I got pushed down the big-boy slide, I became scareded of slides. Susie made that go away. I also used to be afraid of goin' down the drain, especially after Angelica told me I could, but I soon finded out I'm much too big to fit down it.Potty Failure: I wetted my pants a few times while being potty-trained, but I don't anymore. Hardly ever.Throw the Dog a Bone: After our trip to Paris, I gots a new mommy after daddy married her and a new's sister named Kimi.Toilet Training Plot: When I first gotted potty-trained, I didn't want to, but now I can't imagine myself in diapers.Why Did It Have To Be Clowns?: I'm scared of clowns, the dark, new things, monsters, actual snakes, and the guy on the oatmeal box.Tropes about big meAnime Hair: Especially during my \"Yu-Gotta-Go!\" dream sequences.Bad Liar: Angelica basically has to drill me in how to be an effective liar in \"Brother, Can You Spare the Time?\". How does she do it?Berserk Button: I'll go absolutely paranoid if I think Kimi is in danger.Big Brother Instinct: Towards Kimi, who doesn't always appreciate it. (SeeBerserk Buttonabove.)Big Brother Mentor/Older and Wiser: I have an odd role when it comes to wisdom: most of the time I'm nebbish and insecure, but when the moment comes for it. I'm also often the guy who picks up on my friends' sensitive/emotional problems and gives wise speeches to members of the gang, most often to Tommy and Kimi. Occasionally I'm the \"lesson giver\" when Susie's not around.This leads to aRunning Gagwhere I give some insightful advice, and then I admit that got it out of a fortune cookie / hallmark card.Funnily enough, while I often fill this role for Tommy, Tommy often fills this role for me. It's a cornerstone of our friendship. In fact, a couple of the speeches I give to Tommy are of the \"teaching a lesson that Tommy didn't realize I was already inspiring in other people\" sort.Blind Without 'Em: Not as bad as in the original series. I actually remove my glasses at times to read fine print.Butt-Monkey: Even more so in this series. One episode even finds me completely naked on school grounds, save for a guitar.Continuity Nod: The circus camp episode reveals that even after all these years, I'm still terrified of clowns.Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass:noteDon't look at that last one, little me!I often displays abilities that end saving the day, and when facing my fears I actually can prove myself to be a quite competent leader and hero. Unfortunately, many of my abilities only work in very specific circumstances, a constant source of frustration for me.Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Tommy, of course, and even gets jealous if anybody threatens to take my place as his best friend.Hidden Depths: In 'Superhero Worship', it's revealed I've a knack for engineering; my design for a mice labyrinth (required for a school project/contest) was so good that its photo and blueprints appeared in a specialized magazine, and one year later, when helping Tommy do his own labyrinth for the same project, we won first place. Later, in 'Brothers' Grimm', this ability is referenced again, as I make the blueprints for a treehouse, having professional-like quality.The Lancer: As usual, I follow Tommy's lead.Launcher of a Thousand Ships:In-universe.Lovable Coward: I try hard to avert being a coward, especially in the earlier episodes.My Sister Is Off-Limits: Played straight in \"Bad Kimi\" and especially in \"TP + KF\", when I'm very protective of Kimi's potential relationships with Z and Tommy.Nerd Glasses: I wouldn't be Chuckie without 'em, you know.Self-Deprecation: I always seems to make remarks that insult myself.Chuckie:See? I'm VANILLA! Crustless,vanillaFinster.Shower Shy: An episode has me trying to avoid having to shower in gym class, until one of my attempts to do so gets me stranded outside the locker room with no clothes or towel. At the end of the episode I finally overcome my fear.Simple, yet Awesome: Apparently, I don't consider my latent engineering skills to be cool or impressive at all, since I never told anyone about how my mice labyrinth's design actually got shown in a specialized magazine, and my friends only found out when looking for reference material for their own labyrinth. It's possible that I have other cool or useful abilities but I don't consider them interesting at all and therefore never shows them until they are actually necessary.A similar case in \"Dude, Where's My Horse?\", when I finds out I'm an extremely good cowboy, but then I feel bad when remembering these abilities are useless back at home... and then I start playing a harmonica with remarkable skill. Even Tommy can't make me confess at what point I learned to play an instrument, as I've apparently learned to do it almost without realizing it.Techno Babble: I descend into this when I'm deprived of television. \"TV Rots Your Brain!\" indeed.Why Did It Have To Be Clowns?: While I've gotten over most of my childhood fears (even my fear ofAngelica!), I never quite got over my fear of clowns.noteDon't worry, little me, they still won't bethatscary anymore, and yeah, that guy on the oatmeal boxalways did look weird."}
{"text": "YOU ARE TO READ THIS IN THE VOICE OFMIKE JUDGEDOING AN IMPRESSION OFR. LEE ERMEY, OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS! IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS, AT LEAST TRY TO HEAR AN AMPLIFIED VARIATION OFHANK HILL'S LOUD YELLING!WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! SELF-DEMONSTRATING, HUH? DO YOU WISH TO READ ABOUT ME? ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT MY BOOT TO YOUR REAR?! ALRIGHT THEN, PERMISSION GRANTED! SO LONG AS YOU'RE NOT THOSE TWOSTUPID PANTY WASTES!IN FACT, THEY ARE THE VERY REASON I HAVE MY OWN PAGE, THAT ANDPEOPLE RESPECT ME ENOUGH!BUT IF YOU DARE TO COMMENT ON THE VERY IRONY OF THE FORMER, IWILLKILL YOU! CLEARLY ITENDED UP COMING BACK TO BITE THEM IN THE ASS!I AM BRADLEY BUZZCUT! BUT ON THE CAMPUS WHERE I WORK AND THE SHOW I AM FROM, YOU MAY CALL ME COACH OR MR. BUZZCUT, AS I TEACH MANY SUBJECTS FROM PHYSICAL EDUCATION TO SEX-ED TO GEO-METRY! I ALSO FOUGHT FOR THIS VERY NATION! I WORK FORPRINCIPAL MCVICKER, WHO ALSO HAS HIS OWN PAGE, LIKE THOSE WORTHLESS SACKS OF ATROPHY!ALRIGHT, YOU LITTLE TURDS! WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT MY TROPES! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP AND READ THEM!Arch-Enemy: MCVICKER AIN'T THE ONLY ONE FOR THOSE NAMBY PAMBYS! THERE'S TWO OF THEM,AND TWOOF US!Berserk Button:DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT OUR FOUNDING FATHERS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I CONSIDER PEOPLE WHO SHOW SUCH BLATANT DISRESPECT FOR THE MORALS AND VALUES WHICH THIS NATION WAS FOUNDED UPON?! THE ENEMY! THAT'S WHAT I CONSIDER THEM!AND DON'T YOUEVERHIT ANY OF MY STUDENTS! THEY'RE MY CLASS, I DO THE ASS-KICKING!THE MOST FATAL MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE WITH A MARINE LIKE YOURS TRULY IS TRY TO FIGHT THEM, EVEN IF YOU ARE A LITTLE PANTY WASTE. IF YOU DO, I HOPE YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT!Big \"SHUT UP!\": WHEN I TELL YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP, I MEAN IT!SHUT THE HELL UP!Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: WHAT?! THOSE BASTARDS AT PARAMOUNT PLUS DIDN'T GIVE ME A SINGLE APPEARANCE IN SEASON 9 AND SO FAR I HAVEN'T APPEARED IN SEASON 10 EITHER? I'LL KICK THEIR ASSES! I WASALREADY INTHE DAMN MOVIE!The Dreaded: THE STUDENTS OF HIGHLAND HIGH HAVE RIGHTFULLY LEARNED TO SHUT THE HELL UP THE SECOND THEY HEAR MY NAME! EVEN DAVID VAN DRIESSEN IS WISE ENOUGH TO SHUT HIS SUBORDINATES UP BY THREATENING TO LET ME LOOSE ON THEM! GUESS THAT DAMN HIPPIE IS GOOD FOR SOMETHING!Drill Sergeant Nasty: THIS IS HOW I TALK! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD! PLUS, IT'S MY JOB TO BE NASTY!Evil Laugh: I CAN'T RESIST LETTING A GOOD HEARTY LAUGH OUT WHEN EITHER I OR MCVICKER GET ONE OVER ON THOSE MAGGOTS! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!Feeling Oppressed by Their Existence: YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD HAVE DONE TO EARN MY ETERNAL ENMITY? I'LL TELL YOU: ABSOLUTELYNOTHING. THEY HAVE DONENOTHINGTO ME BUT STAND AGAINST EVERY VALUE AND LAW OF DECENCY I UPHOLD IN THIS GREAT NATION! AND I WILL BE DAMNED IF I STAND BY AND LET THEM DISRESPECT EVERYTHING I FOUGHT FOR! YOU KNOW IT SHOULD SAY SOMETHING WHEN MCVICKER AND I KNOW MORE ABOUT THAT THAN THEY DO!Hair-Trigger Temper: IT TAKES EVERY OUNCE OF MY CONTROL NOT TO KILL THEM BOYS! BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I LET ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF OR MCVICKER TRY TO DO IT IN OUR SCHOOL, EITHER!Jerkass: SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS!Jerkass Has a Point: NO, I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO LIKE ME, BUT EVEN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WORTHLESS DELINQUENT TURDS LIKE BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD DESERVE ONLY THE HARSHEST OF PUNISHMENTS! HOW THE HELL EITHER OF THEM CAN BE SO DAMN STUPID IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION!THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT EMPATHY IS!Jerk with a Heart of Gold: LIKE I SAID BEFORE, I WILL NOT HAVE ANYONE DOING THE ASS-KICKING ON MY CLASS BUT ME! THEY WILL BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER ON THEIROWNTIME!Karma Houdini: SURE, PEOPLE MAY DISAGREE WITH MY METHODS, BUT I'M THE ONLY TEACHER AT MY PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN INSTITUTION THAT CAN DISCIPLINE THOSE TWO WORTHLESS BAGS OF DUMB! PLUS,I'M A MARINE; MCVICKER HAS TO KEEP ME AROUND TO KEEP HIS SORRY SUBORDINATES IN ORDER!Large Ham: YES, SIR! I AM LARGE AND IN GODDAMN CHARGE!Made of Iron: BOY, IT'LL TAKE A LOT MORE THAN A STEAMROLLER OR A CAR CRASH TO TAKE ME DOWN! A MARINE CAN TAKE ANYTHING!No Indoor Voice: SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU WILL SPEAK ONLY WHEN I TELL YOU TO AND UNTIL THEN, YOU WILL LISTEN TO AND ENDURE THE FULL POWER OF MY VOICE!Non-Indicative Name: MY FAMILY NAME WAS GIVEN TO ME BY MY FATHER AND HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY HAIRCUT, MAGGOT! THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME BY UNCLE SAM HIMSELF! AND NO, IT IS NOT VAUGHAN! I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL YOU GOT THE IDEA IT WAS, BUT IT ISN'T! IT IS BUZZCUT AND YOU WILL RESPECT IT!The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: I REMIND YOU THATIDO THE ASS-KICKING IN SCHOOL! AND IF ANYONE IS EVER GOING TO KILL BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD, IT WILL BE ME! ONLY MCVICKER HAS THAT OTHER PRIVILEGE!Patriotic Fervor: YES, I AM A PROUD AMERICAN! I JOINED THE MARINE CORPS AND I FOUGHT FOR MY COUNTRY! SO YOU CAN BE DAMN SURE THAT I WILL KICK THE ASS OF ANYBODY I CATCH DISRESPECTING OUR FLAG AND FOUNDING FATHERS!The Power of Hate: DO YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES A MAN?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT SELF RESPECT IS?! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I LEARNED IN'NAMWHILE ON THE HO CHI MINH TRAIL, BURNING DOWN VILLAGES HOUSING THE VIETCONG ARMY WITH MY TRUSTY M-16 BY MY SIDE! STRENGTH! ANGER!HATRED!THAT'SSELF-ESTEEM! NOW ARE YOU WITH ME? I SAIDARE! YOU! WITH! ME?!Rated M for Manly: THIS MARINE IS PACKED! YES, SIR! THIS IS HOW A MAN SHOULD BE!Sadist Teacher: TO INSTILL ORDER ON MY PATHETIC STUDENTS, I KICK THEIR SORRY LITTLE ASSES! ESPECIALLY BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD! ONE TIME, I GOT MY CLASS TO BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF A GIFTED STUDENT!Semper Fi: IN CASE YOU HAVE BEEN TOO STUPID TO PAY ATTENTION, I AM A MARINE! I FOUGHT FOR THIS VERY NATION YOU LIVE IN, SO YOU BETTER BE DAMN GRATEFUL TO HAVE FINE PEOPLE LIKE ME AROUND!Survival Mantra: A Marine can stand anything! A Marine can stand anything! A MARINE CAN STAND ANYTHING!The Talk: I HAVE BEEN TASKED TO TEACH SEX EDUCATION AT THE SCHOOL \u2014 THAT'S RIGHT: SEX ED! WE TALK ABOUT THE [aggressively leans forward]PENIS!WE TALK ABOUT THEVAGINA!DO YOU THINK THAT\u2019S FUNNY, TROPER? DO YOU FIND IT AMUSING THAT WE TALK ABOUT THETESTICLES?YES, WE ALSO TALK ABOUTVENEREAL DISEASE!SEXUAL INTERCOURSE!THESCROTUM!THECLITORIS!AND- AND WE DEFINITELY SPEND A LOT OF TIME TALKING ABOUTMASTURBATION!Too Kinky to Torture: YOU WANNA SEE A MAN? KICK ME IN THE JIMMY!*troper kicks Buzzcut in the nads* EEE...YES! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT HARD!*troper kicks Buzzcut in the nads again, but harder* EEE...YES, SIR! THANK YOU, SIR! I FEEL NO PAIN, SIR!Ultimate Job Security: HIGHLAND HIGH ISA BREEDING GROUND OF SCUM AND DEGENERACY!IT IS FOR THIS REASON THAT PRINCIPAL MCVICKER HAS GIVEN ME FULL AUTHORITY TO ENFORCE STRICT DISCIPLINE ON ALL THESE PANTY WASTES IN ANY WAY I SEE FIT! NO P.T.A. IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT AND IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT SLANDERING ME TO THEM, I SWEARI WILL PHYSICALLY KILL YOU!Villainous Friendship: IF UNGRATEFUL TURDS LIKE YOU THINK THAT UPHOLDING THE VALUES OF THIS COUNTRY IS VILLAINOUS, THEN YES, I AM BY ALL MEANS A VILLAIN! PRINCIPAL MCVICKER IS THE ONLY OTHER MAN HERE WHO AGREES WITH ME AND MY OPINION ON THEM BOYS, SO YOU CAN BE DAMN SURE THAT WE SHARE AN ACCORD ON GIVING THEM THE ASS-KICKING THEY SO RIGHTLY DESERVE!"}
{"text": ", I am Cobra Commander, president of Cobra Island and leader of the mighty criminal empire known as COBRA. For years, I have pursued world domination, but despite my military prowess and limitless resources, I have time and again met defeat at the hands of theGI Joesthanks to the MORONS who dare to call themselves my subordinates.YES, THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO, MINDBENDER! Unless you\u2019d like to try making a better Commander again, you can quit trying blame ME for YOURMISTAKES!My glorious career began asa car salesman who lost everything and went insane, ormaybe as the Baroness\u2019s younger brother\u2014THAT HAPPENED, BARONESS. YOU CAN STOP LOOKING SO DEPRESSED\u2014orperhaps as a nobleman from an ancient race of snake people sent to take over the world after a lab accident disfigured me\u2026Through years of hard work, I founded COBRA and began my efforts to bring the world to its knees.Tropes that desssssscribe me:Alternative Character Interpretation: I am often mocked for ordering a retreat when things go south, in-universe and by the fans, but after Serpentor's disastrous invasion of Washington DC nearly got Cobra wiped out, many fans have started to see there is more wisdom in my decisions than previously thought. Cobra has resources, but we still have limits, and we certainly cannot throw them away in a suicidal confrontation with the US military.Archnemesis Dad: To think, my own son Billy has chosen to be an ingrate and oppose my plans for world domination.Darth Vaderhas to deal with this too, so at least I'm in good company.Army of Lawyers: I have them, and they've kept me out of Blackwater Prison more than once. The Joes fear them far more than they fear my actual troops. Though giventhe caliber of soldiers I have to work with, I can't say that I blame them.Big Bad: I\u2019m the leader of a global terrorist organization. The only way I could possibly get bigger and badder is if these MORONS learned how to follow orders for once in their pathetic lives.The Blank: When I\u2019m wearing the metal faceplate. WHY I wear the faceplate seems to shift with the breeze, butI think we can all agreeit\u2019s better that way.Body Horror:Lizard man with multiple eyes thanks to a lab accident.I suppose it never occurred to you people that the mask was for your benefit.Captain Ersatz:WHAT!!!I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITHBARON ZEMO!''HE'' STOLE THE HOOD FROM ''ME''!!!Cassandra Truth: Serpentor's first plan as Cobra's leader is to invade Washington DC under the assumption that he will force the United States to surrender. I warn everyone that this is a terrible plan, but nobody listens. Sure enough, I am proven right when Cobra is driven from the city because we cannot afford such a foolhardy confrontation with US military.Catchphrase:HAIL COBRA!!!\u201cCobra retreat!\u201d doesn\u2019t count!Demoted to Dragon: Someone as great as me, having to serve under a fool likeSerpentor... NO, I'M NOT LETTING IT GO, MINDBENDER!I GOT TURNED INTO A SNAKE!!...Yes, yes, I KNOW I got my revenge, but THAT took some time.Depending on the Artist: I stick mainly to some variation on either the hood or the reflective mask. I like to have fun with the design of the mask.Dirty Coward:I AM NOT A COWAAAAARD!!!Dumbass Has a Point:I AM NOT STUPID!Regardless, when Serpentor took over, he got thebright ideato invade Washington DC, assuming the rest of America would surrender. I warned him that this was a mistake, but nobody listened. I was proven right. Not only didinvading Washington not bring about the quick victory over America that Serpentor promised, but he quickly found that Cobra lacks the manpower for a long-term occupation.Many fans have reevaluated my frequent retreats in light of Serpentor's failure highlighting that staying and fighting would cause losses Cobra cannot afford.Serpentor wasn't grateful when I rescued himafter his failed invasion, but I pointed out that he needed me alive as a scapegoat for his defeat. Otherwise, the rest of Cobra would realize he's not as perfect as he made himself out to be.Evil Sounds Deep: Well, Live-Action Movie Me at least. I normallydon'tsound like this, but I can rise to the occasion every now and then; a line like \"As Stalin said, trust no one, not even yourself\" is meant to be said in dulcet tones, after all. Funny story, before people heard my voice for the first time, quite a few of themimaginedme sounding likeOrson Welles.Evil Sounds Raspy: Most of the time I sound like this instead, given Chris Latta gave me one hell of aCreepy High-Pitched Voice.Multiple-Choice Past: A disgraced scientist from a secret society, a disgraced car salesman, or a jarhead at the wrong place at the wrong time. If thatpurple coated jestercan do it, why can't I?According toBattle Action Force, one of the Joes' predecessor teams battled a criminal organization called the Red Shadows, led by a fellow named Baron Ironblood. After one defeat too many, the Baron reportedly faked his death and went into hiding. Much has been made about how my debut on the national stage\"seemingly from nowhere\"occurred mere monthsafterthe Baron's disappearance.But I assure you this is just a coincidence.Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: What a great system! If you have enough money and you can hire the best lawyers, you can do anything you want!Smug Snake: It is not a sin to be smug, for I am the leader of Cobra after all!The Starscream: When Serpentor took over Cobra, I tried to sabotage him to regain my rightful position. I amaware ofcertain connections\u2026 even ifthey are pitiful.Took a Level in Badass: Sssssay what you will about all the timesmy incompetent underlings failed mein the original cartoons, but inG.I. Joe: ResoluteI not only turned out to have been usingObfuscating Stupidityall along, butI BLEW UPMOSCOW! No one can take that away from me!Was Once a Man: I can't believethey made a trope out of this. The Baroness eventually tried to restore me to normal, but I STILL ended up as MORE of a lizard man than I already was! I HAD THE URGE TO EAT FLIES! ...Not that I DIDN'T consider myself to have FINALLY returned, and at least I only had TWO eyes again. Finding one of my battle suits also helped.Where the Hell Is Springfield?: I once set up a secret base in a nice little town called Springfield.No, not that one. Virtually every state has a Springfield. I can set up shop in any one of them.Now that I am done here, you shall be loyal to me, you shall read thisssss page\u2014You Fool!!! No one will read a page with so few tropes here! They'll flock to the Joes' page and make you look like an idiot in their eyes while you do nothing about it!!!NOT NOW DESTRO! But if they try, I shall\u2014 wait, you gave me an idea, Destro! I'll get my men to raid that page and deface the Joes' character folders! TROOPS! You shall make an account on this scummy website each and deface the Joes' character folders! FOR COOOOBRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!COBRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"}
{"text": "is standing in the alleyway by himself drinking a beer and smoking a cigaretteYep.BeatGeh?! Who are you?! Me? Well, I am NOT Dale Gribble. I am... Rusty Shackleford! That's right! Rusty... -takes a smoke- Shackleford... Huh? You're not with the government and just want to know more about me instead of Hank? Well, I have to say I am flattered... Alright fine! I am Dale Gribble but you better not be blabbing that to \"the man\" man! Ahem! As you know, I am one of the main characters of, how does Hank say it, \"T.V.'sKing of the Hill\". Man that sounds so dumb to say... Anyway, I live in the state of Arlen Texas with the best wife and son a guy could ask for! And I also live beside my friends I knew since high school: Hank, Boomhauer, and Bill. One of them is annoying but a good friend, the other I have no problems with (most of the time), and the last one, frankly, I can't really stand. Then again, nobody does.Did I tell you about my family? My wife, Nancy Gribble, is by far the best wife a man could ask for! She's definitely smarter, nicer, and WAY sexier than Hank's wife and my son Joseph is like the best at everything he does! I'm also the founder, CEO, and only employee of my extermination company: Dale's Dead Bug. And I'll have you know I'm pretty damn good at my job. However, jobs are far few in between so we must rely on Nancy's weatherperson job for the money. As you can probably tell, I love to smoke. Like a lot. Some people say someone who smokes as much as me should've died a long time ago but I have lungs of steel! Well, not really. I tried to make them steel once but the doctor said it was \"Physically impossible...\"I guess this is the part where I go into even more detail about myself but I won't be doing too much of that because of two things. One, my series has beenrunning since the 90sso that'll take waaaay to long and my attention span is way to short for that. And two, I'm not some informative dork like Hank who would most likely take a lot of time just discussing how \"Propane is the best gas\" or how he sells propane and propane accessories... But I will say that the government is a sham and aliens are real!Huh... Looks like that Doley kid and his ugly friendhave their own demonstrating page.I wouldn't think that two minor characters are worthy enough to have their own page. What? Those aren't Doley and his ugly friend? How could they not?! Just look!Hank even appears in that show of theirs!He goes by \"Tom Anderson\" for some reason... Must be disguising his name as well to fit into a different environment. That's probably why he gained a lot of weight and made himself look much older. Clever Hank... clever... 'Come to think of it, thatgym coachkind of sounds like him too...Here are my tropes. Sh-sh-sha!Afraid of Blood: A-Afraid?! I'm not afraid of a little...geh...blood. I just can't stand the sight of it is all...Anti-Role Model: Too late! There are already kids that smoke and do other bad things like with myself! And don't say \"Hank is the perfect role model\" because he's not! Just look how hetreats his own son!A lot of you do say that I tend to be this way to Joseph despite me caring for him. I'm just trying to help him prepare for eventually when the aliens decide to come back and take over the planet! Though, I, in secret, did this once in the episode \"The Smoking and The Bandit\" where Joseph started to hate me and I became the \"Smoking Bandit\" so that Joseph will have someone to look up to. I was planning to reveal to him that I was the Smoking Bandit in hopes to get him to like me again but he ended up saying ahead of time that someone like me couldn't be the bandit! Ouch... Don't worry, I resolved everything at the end all by myself! ...Fine! With a LITTLE help from Hank...Ax-Crazy: So I may be a little unhinged... Though...an axe would've been perfect to kill Hank with in that episode where he spoke bad about me!Brutal Honesty: I pull no punches on telling others how I feel about them. Hank is an annoying do-gooder who loves propane, his lawn, and his dog even more than his own family. Peggy is probably the worst human being I've ever met. Bobby is weird like \"weirder than me\" weird. Boomhauer, though a great friend, I can never understand him sometimes. And Bill is a pathetic, fat, disgusting, stupid, andbaldof a man who will never get another women if he tried.The Bully: Huh? You think I bully Hank way too much? Well, maybe I do but it's just fun taking advantage of a guy who seems to do right in every thing he does! Sure, he can kick my ass afterwards but most times, I get away with it!Definitely with Bill. I love to bully him as well and he, unlike Hank,doesn't fight back.Bullying a Dragon: So what bullying a guy who can definitely kick my ass is a bad idea? It's fun to take Hank down a peg when the opportunity arises! Especially since I can definitely outrun Hank!Calling Your Attacks:Like a certain \"anime character\" who looks like he dyed his hair in his own urine every day (good idea by the way), I do tend to call out attacks to act dramatic. One being \"SQUIRREL TACTICS!\" or my famous \"POCKET SAND!\"Cloud Cuckoolander: A lot of you say I'm crazy, but also wacky, with a dose of insane, topped with being total nuts! I must say... I agree. Also, don't try to pet your pet turtles with your finger in a wiggling motion. They will think said finger is a worm and would proceed to eat it!Combat Pragmatist: Yes! When the government is constantly watching you or you've made enemies more than a regular person should have, I've trained myself to use by any means necessary to get one over them. I even keepsand in my pocketjust in case I'm forced to confront someone.Comedic Sociopathy: Hey! It's fun watching Peggy Hill squirm! Why you think I enjoy going to her birthday parties? Becausesomething bad 'always' happens at them!Conspiracy Theorist: Of course! However, unlike those OTHER Conspiracy Theorists that are always spouting nonsense, I on the other hand am right every single time! The government is not to be trusted as they are constantly watching everything we do! Even in the bathrooms! And not to mention aliens are in fact real! Joseph is a good example of this! How else he could be my son despite having a different hair and skin color from yours truly?Cool Shades: -adjusts his shades- You damn right they're cool. Better than Hank's dorky frames!Dead Person Impersonation: I took on the alias \"Rusty Shackleford\" after the real one died years ago. Or so I thought! Turns out he was still alive and was out for blood! I'm still using his name here so don't tell him I'm doing it or else...Dirty Coward: Of course! Covering oneself in dirt and then fleeing is an effective way to escape from threats. Especially if said threat is bigger and stronger than you and even if it means leaving your friends behind. Survival of the fittist... survival of the fittest...Disproportionate Retribution: A lot of you say that it's \"taking it too far\" to try and kill Hank with a forklift for talking bad about me. So what? He talked bad about me and he must be punished! Plus, I've done worse...Doting Parent: You've seen my son Joseph? He's so awesome at everything he does! The best son a father could ask for even if his true dad is an alien!Good Parents: Damn right! I love my son Joseph even if he's part alien and Nancy always treat him well. Unlike Hank who barely is man enough to even show open affection for his own son. And I also like Joseph for what he is. Not constantly trying to push him to doing something he doesn't want to do unlike with Hank!Gun Nut: Guns are awesome! I have guns of many different shapes and sizes and I keep them everywhere in the house despite Nancy's constant nags! I also happen to be the leader of the Gun Club and one of the best damn shooters around!Everyone Has Standards: Would you believe me when I say that Hank once lost his faith in someone over a damn handshake? I called him \"crazy!\" for that. And don't get me started when Peggy was threatening others with that damn paddle. I had to take that thing because she's freaking crazy! She even almost beat my own son and I rightfully called her a bully. See, when I bully Hank, it's never really physical (of course he can kick my ass) but when others do it, it's always physical!Foil: Me and Hank, you could say, are foils to each other. Also, that reminds me to buy more aluminum foil for my mind-control prevention hats...I'll admit, Hank is a well put together guy than me. He has the muscles, the tools (which I love to take sometimes), ha-MORE hair...while me I'm thin, don't have enough tools, and I only get offers for my services every now and again with us relying on Nancy's weather job.Hank is also more level-headed and rational while I'm, well, crazy and irrational. At times mind you!Hank always fixes problems. I always cause them.However, there are things I'm better at than Hank! While he does have a stronger body, I'm waaay more athletic than his beer-belly ass! I also have a better family than him, better friends, and more abilities that he wishes he could have!The Friend Nobody Likes: Yeah, yeah! I know, I know! Blah blah blah Dale's a bad friend! Blah blah blah People shouldn't hang around him. Blah blah blah!Gratuitous Russian: Yep! I can speak other languages as well but I'm pretty fluent in speaking Russian! Ahem! \u0425\u044d\u043d\u043a - \u0440\u0430\u0437\u0434\u0440\u0430\u0436\u0430\u044e\u0449\u0438\u0439 \u0444\u0430\u043d\u0430\u0442 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u043f\u0430\u043d\u0430, \u0438 \u0411\u0438\u043b\u043b \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0442\u0438\u0432\u0435\u043d \u043c\u043d\u0435 \u0438 \u043f\u043e\u0447\u0442\u0438 \u0432\u0441\u0435\u043c \u043e\u0441\u0442\u0430\u043b\u044c\u043d\u044b\u043c. Translation: Hank is an annoying propane fanatic and Bill disgusts me and pretty much everyone else.Happily Married: Nancy is the best wife a man could possibly ask for! She's drop-dead gorgeous, caring, and does her best to support my ideas even when she doesn't understand them. In return, I would do absolutely anything for her, and I would never even DREAM of cheating on her, just like I know she would never cheat on me.Hero-Worshipper: For the most part, the Hills are just a family of weirdos and jackasses. However, Cotton Hill on the other hand was a true American hero! This man fought for our country losing both of his shins and, even better, hates Peggy just as much as I do! Not to mention how he treats Hank is hilarous! It's a damn shame he died. I'm glad I was able to carry out his last wish by destroying Hank's stupid shed. May he rest in peace...Heterosexual Life-Partners: Not me and Hank and Bill. We're often thatother termbut definitely with me and Boomhauer and John Redcorn. John Redcorn, I'll admit, was pretty distant and found it akward to be around me for some reason but after apologizing for my race taking his race's land, we've been even more close than usual! He even let me join his band!Huh? You think me and Octavio is this as well? Oh no no no! He's just more of a \"business partner.\"Jerkass: -breathes in a cigarette and blows out- Your point?Jerkass Ball: I'm a jerk to pretty much everyone but my family so if I'm a jerk to them, then I guess I did held this \"trope.\" Most notably in the episode where I was forced to work in some boring office job where I had the thrill of firing people up and downwithout giving a damn about what personal problems they have!I even threathened to fire Nancy and Joseph from our family... Damn I felt bad for doing that but that was just the stress talking...Jerkass Has a Point: Yes, I know I am a \"jerk\" but even you, \"Tropers\", have to agree with me that Peggy Hill is a terrible human being that Hank should just divorce her! Sure, maybe saying she's a \"terrible human being\" may be going far but she's definitely annoying. Like \"more annoying than Hank constantly talking about propane\" annoying.Also, like I said above, Hank's constant talk about propane is enough to make me crazy! Er, crazier...Also, also! Bill is pathetic isn't he? Bald, lazy, always trying to steal Peggy away from Hank...I can go on and on about Bill being the worst guy around but I have a gun club meeting in a bit.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I can be an unplesant person to be around. This I will admit. However, I am more capable of showing love for my family unlike a certain propane fanatic. Speaking of said propane fanatic, sure I love to bully him around but I'll admit, he's the most dependable person I can count of if something should happen to me.Lean and Mean: Hey! I'm not THAT skinny am I? Well, I guess compared to Hank's muscular body with a beer belly, Bills fatty fat body, and Boomhauer's, well, average body, I guess I am \"lean.\" The mean part though, yeah, that I can understand.Master Actor: The Deaf Cable Repairman is just one of the many brilliant alter-egos I have devised to stay under the radar, and nobody else is any the wiser.Men Are Uncultured: Hardly! I'm more well-rounded when it comes to hobbies than anyone I know. Unlike that stick-in-the-mud Hank, I am perfectly comfortable baking desserts, coaching actors, watching dinner theater, dancing, yoga, and writing children\u2019s storybooks. I am also quite fond of dress-up and building clubhouses.My God, What Have I Done?: I'll admit. Pretending to act like a terrible husband toward Nancy was not one of my best moments. Especially since she thought I really meant the terrible things I've said to her and almost divorced me! Fortunately, I was able to win her back.No Celebrities Were Harmed: Plenty of people tell me that my appearance and demeanor reminds them ofHunter S. ThompsonandWilliam S. Burroughs, and that my voice sounds just likeRobert Patrick. It's a mixed blessing; while this can draw unneeded attention, the fact that I resemble so many people is probably why I can slip into and out of my many alter-egos with such ease.Pet the Dog: Ew! I don't want to pet Hank's filthy dog! Oh, that's not what you meant? Oh, well yeah despite my status, I am capable of showing niceness toward others. I'm not THAT heartless...My treatment of Joseph is far better than Hank's treatment of Bobby. That's for sure!Speaking of Hank, me and him have are differences and if you're reading my page to this point, you can say I don't like him very much. However, Hank is very dependable and I can always count on him I'll admit. Even when I thought Hank was dying from a bullet wound, I promised to him that I'll keep Bill away from Peggy despite me hating her with a burning passion! See! I am a good friend! Just not all the time...Also for Bill, I may can't stand his guts but I still care for the guy. When I thought he died in a tank explosion, I actually cried. Yes, I cried! And the cause wasn't pesticide in my eyes for once! And when Bill (somehow) survived, I was relieved he was okay.Rated M for Manly: The only thing my friends and I have in common is our manly interests in sports, cars, craftsmanship, fishing, and in fact I am a better marksman than anyone I know, especially Hank. My passion in life is to kill things with as many weapons as possible.Right-Wing Militia Fanatic: Hey, just because I love guns and hate the federal government, that doesn\u2019t mean I'm some kind of political extremist! Hell, I don't even vote!The Rival: Just because Hank is my quote unquote \"Best Friend\" doesn't stop me from trying to best him at something! Even if I don't win said contest, if I've scored or placed higher than Hank, then that's a win for me!Smoking Is Cool: You damn right it is! I've been smoking all my life since the third grade! Like with my hat, I also smoke in the middle of taking a shower.Smoking Is Not Cool: Though, I have admitted there were times my smoking got me and others into trouble. Like the episode where Joseph looked up to my alter-ego the Smoking Bandit but forall of the wrong reasons..Took a Level in Kindness: A lot of you say that I've gotten a lot more laid-back as the series goes on especially during the last parts of it. I'll admit, after rekindling my marriage with Nancy and forming a deeper bond with Joseph, I just feel so damn good about life lately!Toxic Friend Influence: Well, duh. I'm an exterminator! I use toxins for a living! Oh. You mean the type of friend that others shouldn't hang with because they're a bad influnce and will often betray or ditch you when you need them the most? Yeah. That sounds like me alright.Trademark Favorite Food: Like the others, beer. I will NOT give it up for anything! Stupid tea...Verbal Tic: I do often say \"Geh!\" whenever something surprises me.Vitriolic Best Buds: -smokes- You can say this is my status with pretty much everyone I know besides John Redcorn and my family of course. At lot of you will say that me and Hank are one of the best examples of this. Me and Bill often get on each others nerves as well.Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Snakes?! I'm not afraid of any snakes! Haven't you watched the episode where I KILLED a bunch of them! What? Just a worse fear in general that doesn't have to be snakes? I don't know what you're talking about! I'm not afraid of anything.Is shown a puppet.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And with that, I bid you farewell! Remember, you've been talking with Rusty Shackleford, not Dale Gribble! -sees a car pull up and the real Rusty Shackleford comes out- GEH! SQUIRREL TACTICS!climbs up a treeAlternative Title(s):King Of The Hill Dale Gribble"}
{"text": "Me, demonstrating my sense of crimefighter chic.(This page is best read in the voice ofJim CummingsorChris Diamantopoulos.)(Puff of blue smoke)I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the trope page that you cannot edit! I am... Darkwwwiiiiing Duck!I bet you want an autograph. No really, it's no trouble. Take a few more for the kids. Or maybe you want to hear some of the tales of my derring-do and cunning cleverness?At the start, Darkwing Duck struggled solo against the sinister scoundrels who stalked the city of St. Canard. However,little did I knowthat that was all to change. While investigating the theft of the Waddlemeyer Ramrod, I encountered for the first time a featherbrained flyboy, Launchpad McQuack (he eventually told me he was fresh from Scrooge McDuck's mansion inDuckburg... ya might have told me that earlier, L.P.) and a spirited little girl called Gosalyn Waddlemeyer. Originally, I didn't plan to keep either of them around for longer than it took to complete the mission \u2014 Darkwing Duck dares the denizens of darkness alone! However, the mission proved more problematic than I presumed, and I was forced to interact with both for longer than I had intended... Okay, so they both grew on me, so sue me! After the defeat of the terrifying taurine, Taurus Bulba, I reunited with both of them and now we live together.Oh, by the way, if you've heard something about there being an old TV show, a washed up actor, and some fan who was gonna star in a movie,you're thinking of some other guys.I already know from Negaduck thatthere's more than one me.Now that you've heard that story, maybe you want to hear some specific samples of the circumstances of my crimefighting career? Very well... that is, since you insist.(Ahem)Tropes I've left my mark on:Added Alliterative Appeal: Ah, yes! This avian adventurer always amazes his adoring audience with awesome alliteration abilities.Aesop Amnesia: So what if I constantly forget that I need to let others help me out on tough cases? Clearly they can stick to their own little corners of the world, while I and I alone defend St. Canard from the dastardly deviants who deprive the denizens of their...wait, THEY WHAT?!?! They took over the city?! Oh, why didn't I learn?! Oh well.Maybe it will stick with me this time aroundAffectionate Nickname:Launchpad calls me \"D.W.\", in or out of costume. I sometimes call him \"L.P.\"Morgana calls me \"Dark.\"Gos calls me \"Dad\"Alliterative Name: Related toAdded Alliterative Appeal, my superhero name is awesomely alliterative.All Just a Dream:You do not know how thankful I was to find out that the time I thought I was dead was this.The time I was about to kiss Morgana? Not so much.Especially once I found out I'd planted one on Launchpad instead.Anti-Hero: There's nothing anti about me! I am the genuine article of heroics! All I want isa little respect, thank you very much! I mean, I spend all this time saving St. Canard from seriously sinister slimeballs, and what do they do? Act like I'm some sort of common criminal! What a joke! It'snot my faultthey have poor taste in fashionable crime fighters!Arch-Enemy: Being a superhero, I have quite a few. Just to name a few of the foul fiends whom I frequently fight:That electromagnetic egomaniac Megavolt and I have been squaring off on a regular basis since our school days. (Apparently he was the school science nerd. Who knew?)My diabolical doppelganger Negaduck is my mirror image in every way (right down to thinking we don't get the respect we deserve), and so we're often at odds.The terrifyingly tyrannical bovine, Taurus Bulba, has had it in for me since I foiled his plan to rob the city blind with Professor Waddlemeyer's Ramrod. I've had it in for him ever since he tried to kill Gos to get his hands on the activation code for the Ramrod.Quackerjack. Especially watch out for hisElectric Joybuzzer.Many are of the opinion that the dangerously duplicitous Dr. Slug is my greatest archenemy. I suppose it's only natural to assume that; heisPublic Enemy #1 after all, and I have had to engage in many feats of heroic daring-do to defeat him! But you already knew that. What's that? You don't? What do youmeanyou haven't even seen Dr. Slug in action?!And then there's Steelbeak. Given that he's F.O.W.L.'s primary agent, we have a long-running feud.Attention Whore: Attention \u2014? Who wrote this? I amnotaglory hound. I just have a healthy respect for my contributions to the welfare of the world, that's all. Okay, I do have a problem with this...but only a slight problem.Want an 8-by-5 glossy?Awesome Ego: Alright, alright, maybe I have asmallego problem. But considering my exploits once I say theCatchphrase, I live up to the billing.Badass Cape: And it looks great along.Badass in a Nice Suit: Megavolt was actually a classmate of mine, a science geek named Elmo Sputterspark. ThatJerk JockHamm String ruined Elmo's electrical experiment, which gave him superpowers. Elmo was so angry that he attacked us at a school dance. I couldn't let him fry the rest of the class, so I had to stop him. I nicked a hat, cape and mask from the school Drama department to create my impromptu superhero identity, but I had to fight Elmo in the tuxedo I wore to the dance.Badass Normal: Sure, it would be great to have some fancy powers, and Ireally like when I get temporary ones,but most of the time I only need my smarts and skills to defeat my felonious foes.Berserk Button: Do not, and I repeat, under any circumstances, do NOT try to steal MY job and vanquish MY foes in MY city!Big Eater: Gosalyn. Seriously, have you seen how much she packs away?Can't Live with Them, Can't Live without Them: Boy do L.P. and Gosalyn get on my nerves! Between hisconstant crashingand herrefusing to even clean one inch of her room...but, what's a duck to do? They're the two most important people in my life. I don't know what I'd do with myself if anything were to happen to them...Catchphrase: Oh, I have several ones; in no particular order...\"Let's Get Dangerous!\"\"Suck GAS, evildoer!\"\"Yep, yep, yep.\"\"AH...HA!\"\"Ouch.\"\"Singed, but triumphant.\"\"I am the terrorthatflaps in the night.I am the (noun that does / is something unpleasant). I am Darkwiiinnng Duck!\"Cheap Costume: I made my first Darkwing disguise with props and clothing from my school's Drama Club; I admit I was lucky to find good enough stuff for a decent disguise, since I had to improvise it on the spot to stop Megavolt.Chick Magnet: All in a day's work for a hero. I got smooched by Neptunia and drew the attention of Morgana McCawber and other females I've run across with my smooth charm and dashing good looks.Coat, Hat, Mask: Yep, yep, yep, I have a great fashion sense. My standard crimefighting attire includes all three of these garments, all in dashing shades of purple.Combat Pragmatist: I'm quite good at thinking on my feet and improvising battle plans. That helps me defeat enemies that, admittedly, are too powerful for me to take on in a direct fight.Cool Bike: The Ratcatcher.Cool Plane: The Thunderquack \u2014 a gadget-laden, VTOL and hover-capable subsonic jet plane, created in my image.Crazy-Prepared: Hey, sometimes youhaveto be crazily prepared to survive in this business. Just look at the fight where I led the Justice Ducks against the Fearsome Five. When Morgana teleported the pudding mix I was carrying to fall on Liquidator, I put an eggbeater attachment on my gas gun and worked with Gizmoduck to turn Liquidator into a delicious dessert.Create Your Own Villain:Okay, seriously, stop saying I created Liquidator!! I tried to save the guy when he fell in that contaminated water... thathecontaminated in the first place!! Not my fault that he fell when trying to escape from me.Heh, funnily enough,the reverse version happened to me, since it was Megavolt's actions that made me become Darkwing Duck in the first place.Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: WithLet's Get Dangerous!in between!Dark Is Not Evil: For some reason, almost everyone seems to hate my darker persona. Even Launchpad mistook me for a burglar the first time we met.Well...Okay, fine, that may have had something to do with the fact that I crashed through his ceiling at an early hour of the morning. So sue me.Deadpan Snarker: One of my many talents is to taunt my enemies with clever one-liners, usually to really humiliate them once I've started destroying their plans.Despair Event Horizon:I actually came near this line thanks to Taurus Bulba. Fortunately, Launchpad's timely arrival snapped me out of it.In an alternate future, this is what led me to becoming an iron fisted dictator due to thinking Gos ran away.Determinator: It doesn't matter what you throw at me. Darkwing Duck always finishes the job!Distressed Dude: Distressed? Where did anybody get that idea? I just frequently get my enemies to let their guard down by \u2014 okay, I get tied up a fair amount. But Darkwing Duck always triumphs.Dude, Where's My Respect?: Like I mentioned \u2014 I can save the city a hundred times, and I'm still \"Darkworm Duck\" on the evening news. How is that fair, I ask you?Enemy Mine: Sometimes I've needed to team up with my enemies for the greater good... and in their case,because they'd have nothing to steal if the city gets destroyed.Establishing Character Moment: Here, for your viewing pleasure,is the opening scene to my pilot episode.It showed off both my amazing skills and my amazing theme music!Everyone Went to School Together: EvenIwas surprised that the science geek in my class became Megavolt.Fedora of Asskicking: I wear a sharp-looking purple fedora when I kick butt and take names. It complements the rest of my dashing superhero outfit quite nicely.Follow in My Footsteps: Sometimes I wish Goswouldn'tdo this.Sometimes.For Halloween, I Am Going as Myself: I was once invited to a costume party and wound up wearing my suit. Can you believe Herb Muddlefoot actually thought \"no one would mistake me for the real Darkwing Duck\"?Frame-Up: Somehow or another, St. Canard's most delinquent deviants always destroy my do-gooder image so they can slink into the night and rob the city blind. Some of them framing me successfully I can understand; Negaduck at least has the handsome good looks and the nearly identical costume. But people like Tuskernini making a judge seem like I was merely bullying a reformed villain? Or some other costumed criminal callously creating chaos in my costume? Come on people,it's not that hard to figure out!Then again, that does explain a lot about mycurrent reputation amongst St. Canard's denizens.\"Freaky Friday\" Flip: A machine of mine accidentally swapped me and Gosalyn and Launchpad and Honker. And let me tell you, being stuck in the body of a child can really get in the way of crime fighting.Friendly Enemy: I actually get along reasonably well with Megavolt and Bushroot when we're not trying to defeat each other, at least well enough to make a truce inEnemy Minesituations; after all, Sparky and I go way back, and Bushyjust wants some buds to call his buddies.Future Me Scares Me: Gos once ran into an alternate future version of me called Darkwarrior Duck.Yeesh.The guy seriously needs some professional help.Gray-and-Grey Morality: I don't usually experience this since most of my rogues are outright villains, but I suppose I did go overboard with continuously callingNeptuniaevil, but hey, it was my first time dealing with aWell-Intentioned Extremist.Handicapped Badass: Whether blind, restricted to a wheelchair, cursed with bad luck, or turned into an old man, I still manage to save the day.Hero with Bad Publicity: This happens so much it's not even funny. The citizens of St. Canard simply don't respect my stylish, non-traditional image.Okay, so I don't wear a lot of bright colors and I make my rounds near midnight; I am still the superlative superhero in the city!Well, there was this one time Gosayln tried to help improve my image and make the city respect me more. And it was going fine until that nefarious ne're-do-gooder Negaduck swooped in and trashed everything I've worked for! Well, the joke was on him, for I quickly turned things around as the original, classic, and dashingly debonair Darkwing Duck the fans have come to expect, and sent him packing right into jail! Maybe yourChronic Backstabbing Disorderisn't such a good idea when there's more of them and only one of you Negsy!Heterosexual Life-Partners: I admit L.P. gets on my nerves sometimes.All right, a lot of the time.But after facing malevolent malefactors like Taurus Bulba, Paddywhack, and the Fearsome Five \u2014 not to mention the far trickier task ofraising Gosalynwhile keeping the neighborhood in one piece \u2014 together, it looks like we're in it for the long run.I Just Want to Be Special: This is pretty much the main reason I became Darkwing Duck on the first place; as Drake Mallard, I have to admit, I was a nobody, but the moment IJumped at the Call, I realized that, as Darkwing, I could make a difference, and people would actually notice me. Even now that I've reassumed my civilian identity to be a father to Gosalyn, I realize that a normal, civilian life doesn't fit me at all; just the idea of no longer doing my heroics has actually depressed me more than once.I Know Kung Fu: Or, more precisely, Quack Fu; and I'm quite good at it, mind you.I Work Alone: To satisfy my ego\u2026 ehem\u2026 uh\u2026 I mean, for everyone's else safety\u2026 I sometimes prefer to handle big cases on my own. Unfortunately, in those cases, Idoend up needing help to save the day.Impersonating the Evil Twin: More than once, I have posed as my devious doppelganger, Negaduck. And done myself proud, I might add. (So did he, but that's beside the point.)Informed Loner: Darkwing Duck relies on nobody but himself! Um... just don't look too closely at the... several people who tend to be associated with me.Last Disrespects: In the dream where I believed I was dead, I was chagrined to find that I was given a small, cheap cone with my picture on it as my tombstone.Let's Get Dangerous!:TheTrope Namer. Yep, yep, yep. This is what I say when I'm ready to stop getting pounded and crush my enemies into little pieces.Literal Split Personality: When I got zapped by Megavolt's tron splitter, I was split into my good and bad sides. Launchpad and Gosalyn had to team up with Megavolt not only to put me back together, but to stop my supercharged evil half from tearing St. Canard apart.Made of Iron: I can get smushed, squished, pummeled, and anything else the bad guy can do to me, but Darkwing Duck always emergessinged but triumphant!Magnetic Hero: Seriously, I don't know how I do it, but Ido!Multi-Armed and Dangerous: After being bitten by a mutant spider. It wasn't that bad... although#6 did drive me nuts!Multiple-Choice Past: My life prior to becoming a superhero is hard to understand. We have my Senior Prom where I became Darkwing Duck to stop Megavolt and the timemy future self inspired me as a child to become a hero, plus the time I spent learning martial arts from Goose Lee. The story of me being aSupermanExpyis completely fictional, however. What? All brilliant artists have to take some liberties with their creations.Must Have Caffeine: You really don't want to see me in the morning before I take a very good cup of coffee; and don't give me that look. If you were doing heroics all night, and then wake up very early in the morning to be a parent, you'd be the same.Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: I first became Darkwing Duck, improvising a name and outfit on the spot, because someone had to stop Megavolt when he first appeared and attacked our school's prom dance... Heh, so, thanks, Sparky.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: You know how bad Taurus Bulba must be when you see howterrifiedI am to see he survived the ramrod explosion.Papa Wolf: Don't touch Gos, I'm warning you.Part-Time Hero: At first, I was on the job full time, but now that I have an adopted daughter, I have to dial back a bit.Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Despite my smaller size, I can vanquish vile villains much larger than myself. Oh, yeah, Gos is like that, too.Pride: Who,me?Surely you jest!Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Let's. Get. Dangerous. The way I say the epicCatchphraseis just as important as the actual words.Purple Is Powerful: Just look at my awesome outfit! In no less than three shades!Red Oni, Blue Oni: Launchpad's laidback look contrasts quite sharply withmy more passionate personality. Oddly though, he wears red and I wear a purple (it's a bluish shade \u2014 close enough) coat with a blue shirt underneath it.Rogues Gallery: I've faced off with some of the most knavish and nasty ne'er-do-wells in the entireDisney Afternooncanon! They might strike fear into the hearts of ordinary citizens, but bringing them to justice is all in a day's work for yours truly.Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!: This is why I work with SHUSH as a freelancer instead of a formal agent. I can't stand all of SHUSH's bureaucracy and rules, which really cramp my style. Luckily, J. Gander Hooter is smart enough to let me do things my way. This is also why I loathe that stuffed shirt Gryzlikof, Hooter's right-hand bear. Gryzlikof swears by the SHUSH rulebook, but the only use I've ever had for it was when I ripped it up to clog Ammonia Pine's vacuum cleaner to save him and Hooter.Secondary Color Nemesis:Oh you have it quite backwards. As you can see my suit is primarily purple, a color favored by felonious fiends fromstandardsuperhero stories, but I'm sure you're quite aware I'm on the side of justice by now. Funnily enough, a couple of my own foes\u2014such as that malicious malefactor, Megavolt, and the notorious ne'er-do-well, Negaduck\u2014are the ones whose fashion sense favors primary colors.Secret-Identity Identity: As I already said, being a masked hero used to be a full time job, to the point I no longer used my civilian identity, at least until I adopted Gosalyn.Shameless Self-Promoter: Shameless? Why should I be ashamed? I'm just making sure the public knows what it needs to know about its greatest hero \u2014 me.Shorter Means Smarter: I amquiteclever, thank you, no matter how tall I am \u2014 certainly a lot smarter than Launchpad (not that that means much).Smoke Out: A specialty of mine. Of course, I prefer using the smoke for my great dramatic entrances rather than escaping.Something Person: Darkwing Duck. I also followed this pattern when I became Teapot Duck and Arachnoduck.Superheroes Wear Capes: A brilliant purple cape which superbly sets off the rest of my crimefighting costume. It has occasionallyhit a few snags.Supernatural-Proof Father: I admit it took me quite a while to believe L.P. and Gos when they said there was something weird about that jack-in-the-box. Well, what do you expect? Gos had justbuzzedme on my keister earlier; of course I thought it was just her playing pranks!Superpower Silly Putty: Despite regularly being aBadass Normal, I sometimesdoend up with super powers:Super Speed, spider powers,Super Strength, growing into a giant, even got a super suit once. Interestingly, it was when I used my brains instead of the powers that I managed to save the day.Super Speed: I temporarily got this power when Negaduck blasted me with a proton accelerator. It was pretty handy, too bad it had the side effect of making me age rapidly.Swiss-Army Gun: My trademark Gas Gun; despite the name, it does a lot more than shooting gas and smoke cartridges. I can use it as aGrappling-Hook Pistol, or adapt it to use 'toony' weaponry, like cartoon bombs and boxing gloves.Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Whenever I have to work with thatObstructive Bureaucratat SHUSH, Agent Grizlikov.True Companions: With Launchpad and Gos, obviously, but also with Gos's best friend Honker Muddlefoot, who's got more common sense than the rest of his family put together. They've been with me through thick and thin, as we protect the good people of St. Canard from the fearsome and felonious fiends that threaten it!Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?: I admit, it does look strange to my fanbase that I somehow have the resources to have everything from my gas gun to the Ratcatcher to the Thunderquack to my secret lair, all while maintaining my suburban house and provide for Gos, even though I don't seem to have any job besides saving St. Canard. With all that said, Iwaspaid for my work under S.H.U.S.H. until the money stopped flowing, making me get a job at Quackerworks.Wouldn't Hit a Girl: Splatter Phoenix once taunted me that I wouldn't hit her because she was a woman. Sadly, I had to agree \u2014but Gos (as the Quiverwing Quack) was there, and she was happy to do it for me. Other times I've found effective ways to fight female fiends without hitting them.You Are Grounded!: I say this to Gosalyn so often I could be aTrope Codifier. Ironically, the one time I did it when she hadn't done anything wrong (to try and protect her from Taurus Bulba) blew up in my face when it was what led to her being captured."}
{"text": "Carlos Alazraqui.)Hmmm? My own TV Tropes page? This must be the work ofFAIRY GODPARENTS!*twitch*What? Explain myself? Is this supposed to be like a self-demonstrating page? It is? Oh well I guess I should be FLATTERED people want to know about me. Either that or it's the work of FAIRY GODPARENTS! Either way, I'll humor you non-believers.My name's Denzel Crocker, fairy hunter extraordinaire! What? I am! Just because I never caught any FAIRIES, doesn't mean I'm not an expert in them. That said I admit it doesn't pay the bills, so I have to take a lowly job as a elementary school teacher. Not sure why I bother, none of these feeble-minded children are worth my genius. Though I admit I love giving out \u201cF's\u201d in the most creative ways possible. Hehe, one of the few joys I get out of my miserable existence. -Ahem- But back to the matter, no one has taken me seriously in my quest to find FAIRIES, deeming me a loony. Oh but they're real, I know it. In fact one certain boy in my class by the name of Timmy Turner has them! Weird things always seem to go on around him and he ends up getting objects no boy of his lowly status would be able to afford! Plus my equipment shows he's lousy with FAIRY energy! If only I could get solid proof! But time and again I've been thwarted! Every time I get close to catching him with his FAIRY GODPARENTS, he would somehow manage to make things seem normal and humiliate me in the process!Oooh but he can only keep up the charade for so long, sooner or later he'll slip up and I'll be there ready and waiting to catch him in the act with his FAIRY GODPARENTS! FAIRY GODPARENTS! FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!-Pants- Whew, had a strong one in me there!FAIRIES...I mean...TROPES!-Abusive Parent: My mother was never there for me as a child. And as an adult, she's putdown my obsession withFairies!, disregarded my feelings, and even used me as a mannequin so she can hem her dresses!Almighty Janitor: I was this in \"Future Lost\". It was... nice.Arch-Enemy: I'm almost certainly this to Turner. The only other one of his enemies who could even come close is hisBabysitter from Hell, but not even she can cause him as much misery as I can by giving him a never-ending stream of Fs and by threatening his relationship with hisFAIRY GODPARENTS!!!Artistic License \u2013 Education: What's this? It says here any teacher who gives as many F's as I do would be fired for being incapable of teaching students to pass? WELL, NOT ACCORDING TO DIMMSDALE ELEMENTARY! THEYLETME TEACH HERE DESPITE THE ABUNDANCE OF F'S I GIVE! F, F, F, F, F, F, F!!Ax-Crazy: I've been called crazy, and I am! Especially in the earlierSEASONS!*twitch*Big Bad: What really?(Looks through his paper)Oh I was! Yes! In this movieAbra-Catastrophe!and I actually managed to catch Timmy's FAIRIES and even TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Wait why don't I remember that?(Checks)Defeated?! FOILED!? BY TURNER?! MEMORY-WIPED! NOOOOO!(Hits his head against a wall in his spasm)' Ugh... huh? What was I talking about again? Oh right, how I never catch any FAIRIES!!!Bullying a Dragon: I gave oneJames Issac Neutronan F. That...was a mistake.Butt-Monkey: Hey! Who are you calling a butt monkey?!Card-Carrying Villain: Villain, eh? Kinda like the sound of that, actually, especially when it involves manipulation to steer my way through and catchFAIRY GODPARENTS!*twitch* I found myself on that corner numerous times. But you know what?WHO CARES?!*twitch*Cassandra Truth: Fairies do exist! I can prove it!Catchphrase:FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!*twitch*Characterization Marches On: I've gone from handing F's to every single one of my students to grading them a bit more fairly. EXCEPT FOR TIMMY TURNER! HE STILL GETS THE BRUNT OF MY F'S!Cloudcuckoolander: Hey! I can prove fairies exist! They're real! Just ask Timmy'sFAIRY GODPARENTS!*twitch*Dark and Troubled Past: Well, of course I was miserable! Can you blame me? I mean, I forgot about the last happy memory I had! Come to think of it, I don't seem to have any happy memories at all. Well, there can be one logical explanation...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!*twitch*Enemy Mine: I've joined forces with Timmy Turner on occasion.Even Evil Has Standards: Yes, I am obsessed with findingFAIRIES!*twitch* No, I don't believeFAIRY*twitch* babies should be seperated from theirFAIRY PARENTS!*twitch*Evil Teacher: Oh yes! I do tend to enjoy failing my students! Especially Turner!F--: This is perhaps my favorite trope of them all! I'm a pioneering visionary in the art of developing new kinds ofFs! Some of my proudest creations include the \"Super F\" and \"F-apalooza!\"Gonk: Gonk!? How dare you call me ugly!Hair-Trigger Temper: Oh yes, I go berserk overanything... especiallyFAIRIES!Jerkass: I give my students F's, for starters, and I enjoy it! Well, except AJ. I swear he's too smart for his own good!Karmic Butt-Monkey: What?! A new trope based on the aforementioned Butt Monkey?! This must be the work ofFAIRY GODPARENTS!Mad Scientist: OF COURSE! I even have a lab under the school and everything! How else to prove the existence ofFAIRIESthan withSCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE!Noodle Incident: For some reason, I can never everEVER*twitch* go back to Cincinatti.Pick on Someone Your Own Size: I'm one of Turner's oldest and most hated enemies. The reason is simple. I'm convinced he hasFAIRY GODPARENTS!!!and will stop at nothing to prove it!Sadist Teacher: OF COURSE! The only thing I care more about than making children miserable is...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!!!!!The Cuckoolander Was Right: Of course I'm right aboutFAIRIES!How else do you explain Turner'sFAIRY GODPARENTS!!!Used to Be a Sweet Kid:Huh? What's this doing here? I was always miserable!Verbal Tic:FAIRIES!*twitch*Working with the Ex: Wait, Waxelplax and I are exes? I don't remember this!"}
{"text": "or Thomas McHugh. In other languages, it's best read in the voices ofMasako Nozawain Japanese, S\u00e9rgio Rufino or F\u00e1bio Lucindo in Brazilian Portuguese, and Carlos Macedo, Humberto Ram\u00edrez,Benjam\u00edn Rivera, orEnzo Fortunyin Latin American Spanish.)Dear journal...Today, I found out that someone on a website called \"TV Tropes\" wanted to make a page about me. I don't really know what to tell them, but I guess I can give them the basics.My full name is Douglas Yancey Funnie, but everyone else calls me \"Doug\" for short. I go to Beebe Bluff Middle School, and I live in Bluffington with my parents, my older sister Judy, and my dog Porkchop.I wasn't born in Bluffington, however. When I was eleven-and-a-half, my family and I moved out of our home in Bloatsburg and into Bluffington because my dad got a job promotion there. I was very nervous, and I didn't know if I could make any friends. Luckily, when I went to the Honker Burger, I met some of the people who would stick with me for the rest of my life: my best friend Skeeter Valentine, my...other friendPatti Mayonnaise, and the school bully, Roger Klotz (who, funnily enough,has a pageon this site)..Since the first day I moved in, I saw a lot of things happen here in Bluffington. From the school dance at Bluffington Elementary, to Mrs. Dink being elected mayor, to that surprise party Roger threw for me to celebrate the one-year anniversry of me moving to Bluffington, a lot of crazy events have happened in Bluffington while I was still in sixth grade.Nearly everything in Bluffington changed when I went to middle school, however. Among other things, the Honker Burger closed down and was replaced by a French restaurant called \"Chez Honque\", Bluffington Elementary was torn down because of termites, andRoger got rich. At first, I was extremely nervous about going to middle school, especially since I was going to be one of the youngest kids over there. However, as the days passed, I settled in, and I even liked my new teachers. One of whom, Ms. Kristal, was my homeroom teacher and a very nice person (she ended up marrying Patti's dad, but that's a story for another day). That isn't to say my life didn't change beyond that, though. That year was when my baby sister Dirtbike was born. I know, it's a ridiculous name, but that's what I accidentally named her.But I don't want to leave you hanging, whoever you are.Here is a list of tropes that describe me:Author Avatar: Who is this \"Jim Jinkins\" person? I've never heard of him, and how am I an \"author avatar\" of him?Bad Boss: I may have overworked my friends during their business just so he could earn enough money to both pay my friends for their work and buy that new skateboard I wanted at the same time. At the end, though, I used all the money totake my friends to FunkyTown.Badass Adorable: Hey! Quailman's not adorable! He's cool!Badass Pacifist: My dad once told me that a man who resorts to violence is a man who ran out of ideas. I won a fight with Roger just by using the three qualities of the quail: patience, intelligence, and speed.Bad Liar: Well,I Have This Friendwho has some things he wants to discuss... can you tell me some stuff so I can tell him? It's not me, I swear!Berserk Button: Don't call my journal a diary, because it isn't one. I wonder howGreg Heffleyis doing with his journal..Beware the Nice Ones: Well, I'm mostly a nice guy. But if you do anything mean to me or my friends, you better watch out.Book Dumb: Well,I'm passing all of my classes, at least. I'm barely passing math, though.Born Lucky: What do you mean \"lucky\"? There are times I think that the world is out to get me! Then again, it may be me just stressing myself out over stuff...Break the Cutie: Two Christmases ago, Porkchop was about to be put down because he accidentally bit Beebe. Even today, the thought of me never seeing him again makes me cry...Butt-Monkey: Roger sometimes tries to get to me whenever he has the chance. Most of the time, he succeeds.Cannot Spit It Out: Me? Like-liking Patti? What are you talking about? Then again, she did take me out on a \"date-date\" not too long ago...Charlie Brown Baldness: What do you mean?! I'm not bald! I never have been! I just have short hair, that's all.Clear My Name: There were a few times where I was almost in trouble for something I didn't do. For example, Roger stole Mr. Bone's yodeling trophy and tried to pin the blame on me. Luckily, he accidentally came live on the school's PA system, and I got off scot-free.Clear Their Name: I spent that Christmas trying to clear Porkchop's name from being put down. I'm thankful I actually managed to prove he was innocent.Deadpan Snarker: I don't really get sarcastic much, but I have a tendency to snap back, especially towards Roger and Judy.Does Not Like Spam: I don't like liver and onions.Embarrassing Middle Name: My middle name is \"Yancey\". I already told the school guidance counselor that I hate it, but he keeps telling me to embrace it.Everyone Has Standards: I don't like being bullied, especially by Roger. But when Percy Femur showed up and tried to cream Roger, I just couldn't stand there and watch him about to get pulverized.First Kiss: Believe it or not, it was Beebe Bluff. She didn't want to be my girlfriend, however.Guile Hero: Well, I try not to use violence when I can, so I just use my wits.Heterosexual Life-Partners: Well, Skeeter's my best friend since I moved.I Have This Friend: And he wants to know what the best way to impress a girl is... It's not me. Someone else.The Illegible: At least Roger isn't able to read my journal.Insistent Terminology: It's a journal, not a \"diary\".Kids Shouldn't Watch Horror Films: Well, I may like horror movies, but they always scare the living heck outta me.Limited Wardrobe: Well, actually, I have the same sets of white t-shirts, green sweater vests, and khaki shorts.Love at First Sight: Oh, Patti you're the pickle in my coleslaw... Patti you're the sugar in my tea- I-I'm sorry...Was I rambling again?? Oh no...Na\u00efve Newcomer: The day I moved to Bluffington, I explored the town and met the people who would eventually become my friends.\u2014And there you have it. There's my list of tropes. The lesson I learned here is that you can learn a lot about a person from what they tell you. Some good, some bad, but at least you can get to know them a little better if you just ask."}
{"text": "Ruin-Your-Life-Inator!This page is best read in the voice of Dan Povenmire or German Fabregat.\u266bDoofenshmirtzTV Tropes Page Descriptiooooooooon!\u266bAh, Perry the Platy\u2014wait... you're not Perry the Platypus.Hmm... well, as long as you're here, I might as wellmonologueto you instead.And by the way, you are now trapped... by this article! You see, I have been studying this websiteTV Tropes, and what I have learned is that pages like these will distract youforever!They make you obsess over the various tropes and intricacies of fiction, open twenty different tabs at once, get stuck editing pagesall night, and overall be unable to direct your attention away, and thusyour life will be ruined!!Or at least, that's what happened to me.So yeah, you're now trapped. Go on, keep reading and wasting your life. Here, I'll even activate the \"Read-This-Page-In-My-Voice-Inator\" to make it easier.Let me tell you more about myself. I am one of the main characters ofPhineas and Ferb. My name is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, but my friends call me... uh... anyhoo, that's not important. Contrary to what people say,I am not a pharmacist!I am an evil scientist, and mark my words: I shall soon take over...the entire!! TRI-STATE AREA!!!HAHAhahahahaha...noteOh, and slight disclosure, I am not in any way, shape, or form related to thatRe Destroguy, nor is he actually me transformed by a Handsome-Inator into a muscular hunk. I know a lot of people think he's me, and trust me, I get it. Heck, if he makes one of these articles, he'll tell you himself!You might be wondering, \"Why would he do this? Why would he trap an innocent little troper like me? What could he possibly hope to gain?What emotionally scarring backstory could possibly have made him so terrifically evil?\" Well, to help you understand, I think I should tell you a little about mychildhood.It all began back in Gimmelshtump on the day of my actual birth.Neither of my parents bothered to show up.And my family was so poor that our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. So day and night, I had to work as a lawn gnome. One day, I learned my parents were expecting a brand new baby girl. My mother spent months knitting pretty dresses. Unfortunately, the baby turned out to be a boy. Because we were out of material, I was forced to wear those same dresses for an entire year, drawing mockery and scorn from all of my manly classmates. Andoooh, my brother Roger. He wasalwaysmy mother's favorite. You see, her love was inexplicably linked to kickball, and Roger was an expert at it.My social life was, to say the least, a soul-shattering void. On my fifth birthday, I had to throw my own surprise party. A bully named Boris was always kicking sand in my face, and a girl named Grulinda would always pour water on my head. At one point, my parents even disowned me, and I had to beraised by wild ocelots.When I was sixteen, my parents kicked me out and sent me off on the greatest adventure of my life! I was heading to a golden land of opportunity; a land with a pioneering spirit which welcomed misfits like me... but I ended up inAmerica instead.My love life there was disappointing. At one point, I dated a girl named Linda. It didn't turn out well, but she was the one who gave me the idea to take over the Tri-State Area! I eventually married a girl named Charlene, and hada baby girl named Vanessa. Unfortunately, Charlene and I got divorced due to different interests. Specifically, I was interested in a tomato sock puppet, and she wasn't.Mr. Tomato:You know, it wasn't me she didn't like.Shut up! But on the bright side, Charlene still regularly gives me alimony checks, which turned out to be useful for funding all myevil inventions.After all I had been through, I finally decided totruly pursue evil. Thus began my career as an evil scientist!But one day, when I was getting my picture taken, I met my nemesis: the secret agent Perry the Platypus. All summer long that semi-aquatic mammal has been constantly thwarting my evil plans. But that's going to change with my latest evil scheme...BEHOLD!! THERUIN-YOUR-LIFE-INATOR!!!You might be wondering what that is. Well, you're looking at it; it happens to be this exact page. As I already mentioned,TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life. By activating the Ruin-Your-Life-Inator, the tropes on this page shall distract all the people of the Tri-State areaforever!All of them, including my brother Roger the mayor, will be unable to perform their day-jobs! And with them all distracted, I will be able to waltz in, andTAKE OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA!!!Time to activate the -inator!*beep*It's working! It's working! It's functioning properly!Absurd Phobia: I do have a lot of fears, including heights, bats, shellfish, and vending machines taking over the world. But that last one is totally gonna happen!Abusive Parents: I suppose my parents were... neglectful, to say the least. But rest assured,I willnotlet the same thing happen with Vanessa!Accidental Misnaming: I don't get it. Everybody knows who Roger is, but not me. We have the same last name!Action Dad: Don't even tryanythingwith my daughter, or else!Affably Evil: I assure you, I amone-hundred percent certified evil...oh, that link isn't working for some reason? Just go ahead and usethis one, it's no big deal.Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: What? No I'm not! I'll prove it to you; I'll go overprotect Vanessa and show her what a great camper I am!Ambiguously Evil:NO!I am evil! Do not let the fact that I am so nice when not scheming, and often when plotting evil, fool you.And don't believe anybody when they saymy evil plans would be more annoying than anything else!Amicable Exes: Charlene and I have some disagreements, but we do get along most of the time.Amusing Injuries: One day when I was camping, I fell off a cliff and got a fire hydrant stuck in my leg. I'd have it removed, but the doctors say it's too close to an artery to operate.Arch-Enemy: Perry the Platypus is a suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury. He works for the Organization Without a Cool Acronym, who battles evil scientists like myself.Perry the Platypus always thwarts me inevery episode.But this time, things are gonna be different!Artificial Limbs: I lost my arms at one point.*CLANG* *CLANG*See? Both titanium.Bad Is Good and Good Is Bad: I have an evil reputation to protect, you know! I once was out of evil ideas, so I decided to create a good-idea-inator to give me a good idea. But since I'm evil, I made a bad-idea-inator instead... but that didn't really work out either.Berserk Button:DO NOT sabotage my self-destruct buttons. Those are important!DO NOT attack Perry the Platypus. He ismynemesis.And whatever you do,don't mess with my daughter.Big Bad: I technically am the main source of evil and conflict in this show. However, some episodes have other villains show up. But they don't last, now do they?HAHAhahahahaa...Big Bad Wannabe: Although, in terms of success, I haven't actually, well, succeeded yet... oh, you laugh now, but very soon now, Iwillrule over,the ENTIRE! TRI-STATE AREA!!Birthday Hater: Well, neither of my parents showed up for my birth. And on my fifth birthday, I had to throw my own surprise party. So... yeah.Bond Villain Stupidity: One time I cuffed Perry the Platypus to a table with a laser slowly moving towards him. I got that idea froma movie, but never saw how it ended. It seemed fool-proof at the time though, but somehow he escaped!Born Unlucky: Well, both of my parents failed to show up for my birth, so...Breaking the Cycle of Bad Parenting: Well, if you have to call me a goodanything, \"father\" is one of the few things I can't say no to.Breakout Villain: Yeah, it turns out I'm from a show that's supposed to be about two boys building wacky inventions they use to have fun in summer, and the whole thing about me trying to take over the Tri-State-Area was the subplot. But look who walked out of here with a web show, a Twitter account, and a personalized TikTok! They love me! They really love me!Bungling Inventor: Hey, all my inators work! It's just that, you know, I... I don't use them properly.Bumbling Dad: I once took Vanessa to a baseball game, and I caught a foul ball inside the field wall for her! I don't see why everyone was so upset...wait, that counts as an out? How was I supposed to know that! I'm an evil scientist, not a baseball expert!Butt-Monkey: Sometimes, it feels like the universe is making jokes at my expense, from the moment I was born. I mean, it would take forever to go through all the tragedies I've experienced!Can't Get Away with Nuthin': For some reason, all my past schemes have horribly backfired on me!Card-Carrying Villain: Idohave a card for an evil organization.Catchphrase:\"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!\"\"Behold! The [WHAT IT DOES]INATOR!\"\"Ah, Perry the Platypus, your timing is [adjective with prefix], and by '[same adjective with prefix]' I mean COMPLETELY [SAME ADJECTIVE WITHOUT PREFIX]!\"\"Hey, is that [insert band here]?\"\"It's working! It is functioning properly!!\"\"A platypus?\"(Perry the Platypus puts on his fedora)\"PERRYTHE PLATYPUS?!\"Chaotic Stupid: No, I'mChaotic Evil! Really!Character Blog: I have aTwitterand aYoutube Channel.The Chew Toy: Ugh. SeeIron Butt Monkey.Child Prodigy: As a child, I created my first inator for aScience Fair. It could fire an immensely destructive beam! But for some reason, it kept on losing to a baking soda volcano!Cloudcuckoolander: Well, I do admit I tend to babble on a bit.The Cuckoo Lander Was Right: In theGrand Finale, I came up with a plan to take over the tri-state area by building an inator that created a governor position for the tri-state area that I would run for and win because I was running unopposed. And I was right!Conspiracy Placement: My building has its own evil Jingle!Contractual Genre Blindness: Well, I have to follow the routine! Where's the fun otherwise? I trap Perry the Platypus, I monologue to him, he escapes, and then the chase is on! Of course, thus far he ends up winning... pretty much... all the time...Crazy-Prepared: 99% of the time I have a trap ready to spring on Perry the Platypus mere seconds after he arrives.Creator Cameo: Some people say that I sound like Dan Povenmire. Okay, first of all, who is this Dan Povenmire? He sounds like ahandsome guy!Crippling Overspecialization: My traps are designed to catch Perry the Platypus. They aren't designed to catch anything else.Cut Lex Luthor a Check:In \"Backyard Hodge Podge\", I started receiving royalty checks for my technology being used in eye checkups. But I absolutelyhatethe idea of my inventions being used for good.But I am OK with gaining money in a legitimate way as long as I can damage people in any other way. Like selling band-aids legally, but using an inator to papercut people.One time I wanted to open my own all you can eat buffet and created an inator to make myself extremely hungry and bankrupt the rest. When someone noticed I ate tons of food without gaining weight, he said I'd make millions selling this inator as a diet implement. What a stupid idea!I actually madean appearance on Shark Tank once.I tried to market my Shrink-inator. It... didn't end well.Dark and Troubled Past: My childhood.Dastardly Whiplash:Although I don't have a mustache or hat (and wear a lab coat like aMad Scientist), I seem to have some traits that fit this: exaggerated nose and chin, hunched posture, elaborate schemes, and over-the-top mannerisms.My historical counterpart at the Danville World Fair, however, more than makes up for it by having the mustache and the predilection for tying nemeses to train tracks.Deadpan Snarker: Sometimes I do this. But can you blame me?The world just doesn't make sense!Determinator: Perry the Platypus may have beaten me and thwarted my plans all summer long, but I am not stopping now! I will prove to you all that I am truly and thoroughly evil!!HAHAhahahaha.Didn't Think This Through: I seriously think I should change up my evil schemes a little. You know, so I don't actually lose when Perry the Platypus manages to turn my weapons against me? Like, ouch do they hurt. My doctors keep thinking I'm crazy when I go to get medical treatment!Disproportionate Retribution: I don't get what's the big deal! Look, Boris always kept kicking sand in my face when I was a child. Was it really too much to try and dump sand all over his house?Distaff Counterpart: Some say Professor Poofenplotz is this to me. That's cute, but her schemes don't even comecloseto mine, and she doesn't even have a decent lab coat.Ditzy Genius: Okay, what's with the ditzy part? I'm a little slow, sure, but I'm able to make weapons to take over\u2014The ENTIRE TRI-STATE-AREA! Clearly I'm not all that dumb.Does Not Like Spam: I find rice pudding gross.Doting Parent: To Vanessa.Drives Like Crazy: Look, it's not my fault the Drusselstein driving test is the worst course ever designed! I can usually drive just fine!Embarrassing Old Video: Ugh... there was one where I was skating... in my underwear... into a toilet. They even made a remix.Norm: It's got ten billion hits! And there's only seven billion people on the planet!Enemy Mine: My battles with Perry the Platypus are sort of routine, so we sometimes work together on stuff when I'moff the clock.Eskimos Aren't Real: In my downtime, I like to cosplay as fictional characters, likeAbraham Lincoln.Even Evil Has Loved Ones: I do care deeply about my daughter AND arch-nemesis. You know how hard a decent one is to come by?Even Evil Has Standards:Taking over the world is crazy! And why destroy the Tri-State area? You have nothing to take over! I don't see whythose two talking miceput so much effort into an impossible task, let alonethe other guy that uses machines against a blue anthropomorphic animal.Aloyse Von Roddenstein's scheme to destroy summer and put the world in perpetual winter was just insane, alright?!* Evil GloatingEvil Is Hammy: Well, duh! It's not like evil scientists are supposed to be dull and boring people who act like they're smarter than everyone else and pretend their doing this for the greater good! Live it up a little! It's like the warmup act to when you win!Evil Is Petty: No I'm not! Mind-controlling pigeons to poop on myalways better brotherwas pure genius!Evil Laugh: I have an absolutely grand maniacal laugh!HAHAHahahahaha...Evil Plan: I have a lot of these, and need to explain them carefully to Perry the Platypus.Failure Is the Only Option: On rare occasions I successfully achieve my goals (making a mountain out of the mole hill and getting rid of the lighthouse), but otherwise, either Perry the Platypus foils me in traditional fashion, or there's aMeaningless Villain Victory... but hey, if it was easy, then everyone would rule the Tri-State area! And then we'd be forced to, I don't know, decide rules by voting or something.Failed a Spot Check: What is it with you people claiming I always fail to notice Perry the Platypus when he's not wearing a hat? I notice him just fine! Like this random platypus in my building! It's just...wait, a platypus?(Perry the Platypus puts on his fedora)PERRYTHE PLATYPUS?! Hey, get off my page, would you? I'm kind of in the middle of something here! Go bug thattalking candlestickorthat slug ladyfrom the company meeting! We'll get to the evil scheme later!For the Evulz: I ameviland proud of it!HAHAHahahaha...* Four-Temperament Ensemble: Sanguine/cholericFreudian Excuse: As I've said: \"Evil science is like undergoing deep Freudian analysis with a theremin constantly playing in the background.\"Friendly Enemy: At this point, I guess I'm this with Perry the Platypus. I mean, by now, him thwarting me is sort of just routine, and when we're not doing that, we can do whatever else.* Funny ForeignerFuture Badass: I guess.I'm going to invent time travel, after all.Gadgeteer Genius: My inventionsdotend to work the way I intend them to. I just can't, you know, use them properly.Gonk: Crooked teeth... long nose... used as counterpart to theWicked Witchin theThe Wizard of Ozparody...brilliant.Good Parents: My parents weren't exactly the most attentive, so I certainly want to be this to Vanessa!The Grinch:Inverted, actually. I hate every holidayexceptChristmas (and Halloween). My Christmas wish was to find a reason to hate Christmas so that I could destroy it with proper villainous enthusiasm. It's eventually granted.Which ironically also gave me reason to celebrate the holiday anyway.Harmless Villain: Well, if by harmless you mean not inflicting any actual harm, then... yes.Heel\u2013Face Turn: Some of you viewers who have seen \"Last Day of Summer\" say thatafter a heart to heart with Vanessa, she willdeconstructmy character and say I'm a good guy acting bad due to his childhood and I'm not really happy being evil.That's a funny idea, but I assure you that I am evil!I AM!!I do end up being remembered as a hero for inventing time travel, though, so there's that.* Herr DoktorHilariously Abusive Childhood: Well, I don't find it hilarious!Hoist by His Own Petard: Somehow, even the schemes that Perry the Platypus does not interfere in end up failing.Hostile Show Takeover: I once tried to give theMilo Murphy's Lawopening a go.It did not end well.Impossible Shadow Puppets: Oh, I'm good at this.Improbable Weapon User: I often a bunch of randomImprovised Weaponsduring my fights with my nemesis.Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: One time I used a potted plant as aCompanion Cubewhen Perry the Platypus didn't show up. The plant somehow thwarted me, and theO.W.C.A.made the plant an agent in honor of this feat. Not my best moment...Insane Troll Logic: I once made an inator that turned eggs into dodo eggs because dodos are like dinosaurs. You know, cause both dodos and dinosaurs were extinct. I was hoping dodos would also be fearsome and dangerous but... eh.Inventional Wisdom: I need to install self-destruct buttons on everything.Norm:I wonder why you always fail.Be careful where you fiddle, Norm; you've got one too, you know.Iron Butt Monkey: So far I've survived fiery explosions, being hit by a giant ball of aluminum, the eruption of a volcano, the sinking of my lair while perched over a crocodile's mouth, crashing headlong into my own building several times...Jerk with a Heart of Gold: What? No I'm not! But I do care for my daughter Vanessa.Labcoat of Science and Medicine: Why do so many people think I'm a pharmacist?Large Ham: I do engage in this when narrating my evil schemes. And my songs tend to have a full Broadway-style kick line backin' me up!!Literal-Minded: Some of my schemes include using Norm the Giant Robot Man against Perry the Platypus, because \"The enemy of a platypus is man.\", making literal mountains out of literal molehills and leaving a giant carbon footprint witha giant foot made out of carbon paper. One time I painted myself green to be a better gardener, until I realized that \"green thumb\" was just a metaphor.Somehow, the green paintmissed my thumbs.Mad Libs Catch Phrase: \"Why, Perry the Platypus, how [Negative Verb Form], and by [Negative Verb Form] I meancompletely [Positive Verb Form]!\"Mad Scientist: Actually, it'sevilscientist.Get it right.ManchildMeaningful Name: Apparently, the name \"Doofenshmirtz\" loosely translates to \"stupid pain\" in German. I don't blame my parents though.Meaningless Villain Victory: This sometimes happens.Meta Guy: I'm fully aware of theFourth Wall. I live-tweeted the events of \"Mission Marvel\" on Twitter during its premiere on Disney Channel and did commentary during commercial breaks when it aired on Disney XD.Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: I got my degree over the internet with Charlene's money.Motor Mouth: I'd be obnoxious if I wasn't so charming.Never My Fault: It's not my fault, alright? It's Perry the Platypus; he ruins everything!Noodle Incident: Oh, so many that are too painful to recall. Let's just leave it at that, alright?Not-So-Harmless Villain: Several \"what-if\" episodes show that, without Perry the Platypus to stop me, Icanpotentially take over the Tri-State Area, if notthe world.Obviously Evil:HAHAHa... of course I'm evil, what did you think?Odd Friendship: With Perry the Platypus. He is my nemesis but that doesn't mean we have to be hostile all the time. When we aren't fighting, we act as best friends.Only Sane Man: Yes that may sound crazy but I was this the only member of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. who realized it was a dumb idea to cause an enternal winter.Boyfriend-Blocking Dad: Some random biker once hit on my daughter. SHE'S SIXTEEN! So Isent him to another dimension.Papa Wolf: You better leave my baby girl alone!Parental Abandonment: Mine couldn't be bothered to show up for my birth...for some reason. I don't know how that works! And later, I was abandoned to live with wild ocelots.Persona Non Grata: For some reason, the Albanian ambassador's wife filed a complaint against me, and I'm \"never welcome in Albania ever again\".Phony Degree: I bought my doctorate online with Charlene's alimony. But my inventions prove that I amcertainly brilliant.Poke the Poodle: Once I built a device that could translate my voice into 'whale speak' so that I could insult a whale that stole one of my girlfriends. Brilliantly evil!Punch-Clock Villain: My fights with Perry the Platypus have grown into routine.Raised by Wolves: I was raised by ocelots after my birth family disowned me. Legally, this makes me an ocelot, which comes with some handy legal implications!Science-Related Memetic Disorder: I have a big lever as a on/off switch for the lights. I also have an obsession with installing self-destruct buttons and other buttons or dials.Self Destruct Buttons:THESE ARE IMPORTANT!It's my thing, and I almostneverinvent an inator without one. I even take the time and liberty to include them on my non-inators, like the vacuum, my TV, the coffee machine, oh, see, even my underwear\u2014YOOOOOOOOWWW!!!Yeah,thatwasnot pleasant.Series Goal: My dream, is totake overtheENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!!!!HAHAHahahaha...Sibling Rivalry: Roger wasalwaysmy mother's favorite. But I'll change that; I'll show you!Sinister Schnoz: Well, I do have a long nose.It's sinister, though...Straight Man and Wise Guy: I am the wise guy to Perry the Platypus's Straight Man. He is a seriousSilent Snarkerand I am the wackyMad Scientist.Superpowered Eviler Side: In \"This Is Your Backstory\",my plan is to become this. I succeeded for a few moments before Perry the Platypus turned me back to normal.Take Over the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!!!:HAHAHahahahaha...Team Rocket Wins: In \"Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo\", I take over the world in theBad Future.Thinginator: Almost everything I invent needs the -inator suffix.Trademark Favorite Food: Almond brittle.Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Hot ex-wife, actually. Yeah, Charlene is certainly the better looking one between us.The Ugly Guy's Hot Daughter: Hey, watch what you're saying about my Vanessa! She may certainly have picked up more of Charlene's looks than she did from me, butSHE'S SIXTEEN!I have an inator for anyone trying to catcall her!The Unfavorite: Even before my brother was born, my fathernamed our dog \"Only Son\".Unfortunate Names: \"Doof\" is German for \"stupid\". I still don't blame my parents, though.Villain Song: Oh, I have a lot of these. I just feel the need to explain my plans in song.Villain With An F In Evil: My mentor in evil came by to tell me I'm a failure. But Perry the Platypus thinks I'm evil!Wacky Parent, Serious Child: I wonder why Vanessa almost never smiles...Web Video: I've got a\"Doofenshmirtz's Daily Dirt\"on myYouTubechannel Doof Daily, where I share my rant of the day (well, technically it's rant of the week, but then it wouldn't be as alliterate).\"Well Done, Dad!\" Guy: I really,reallywant Vanessa to be proud of me.EventuallyI have some success.Wouldn't Hit a Girl: Perry the Platypus was stuck in a teenage girl's body once. This made things awkward.Zany Scheme: What? No, my schemes really are evil schemes! I am evil! I AM!!ESCAPE CLAUSE: READ VERY CAREFULLYWait, what? An escape clause through advice in another article? NOOOOO!!!Curse you, Perry the Platypus!!!"}
{"text": "(You can read this in the voice of Ralph Wright, Ron Feinberg, Ron Gans,Peter Cullen,Brad Garrett,Gregg Berger, or Bud Luckey. It doesn't matter...)Here's one of my better pictures. Not that it matters...Hello.My name is Eeyore. Not that it matters much. I just slump around the Hundred Acre Wood, eating thistles and watching clouds go by. Not much else to say about me, since I'm not all that interesting. Oh, well. Might as well just sit back and let the day play out like it is.Wait, you're still here. You sure you want to hear more about me?Alright, but it's not very interesting.I'm a donkey who lives in the Hundred Acre Wood, under a little pile of sticks I call my home. It's not much, but it gives me shelter. Most of my days, when Christopher Robin isn't around, I usually hang around with Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Owl, and occasionally Gopher. Not that they ever notice me...Oh, and there was something about being made by a guy named A.A. Milne. Then somebody namedWalt Disneycame along andmade me more famous.Like I said, there's not much to tell...But, if you want, I do have an entire list of tropes that apply to me down below. Go ahead and read them. If you want. I don't care...Accessory-Wearing Cartoon Animal: These days, people remember that I have a bow on my tail. Which I always lose. But it's okay; someone will find. Eventually.Adaptational Nice Guy: I'm told that the version of me from the booksisn't as nice. That's too bad. I would have liked to have someone to talk to.The Big Guy: I'm not as tall as the rest of the gang, but I am pretty big for my size. Bigger than even Pooh after he's had too much honey. He's probably stuffed himself silly again.Birthday Episode: Pooh and Piglet once spent my entire birthday giving me presents. That's awfully nice of them. Thanks for noticing me...The Chew Toy: Nothing ever seems to go right for me. But that's okay; I just take it like it is.Civilized Animal: I'm not like some of those other guys on this website. I at least live in a home.Deadpan Snarker: Maybe it's just me, but I just see things as they are. Like the timelost Christopher Robin's very important papers. It washisfault. Not a smidge.Demoted to Extra: Not that I'm surprised by this. It seems that the rest of the world gets along fine without me. Sure,they let mehave some moments, but otherwise,they just leave me out. Oh, well.The Eeyore:Thanks for naming a trope after me...Flat Joy: I don't always get excited. Not that I have any reason to be excited.Five Temperament Ensemble: I'm always gloomy.Hidden Depths: I've always wanted to be happy. But when I try,the others don't seem to like it. Figures...being happy never seems to get me anywhere. But that's just how it is.Hypochondria: Given how I am, I'm probably gonna catch a cold.Inconsistent Coloring: Nobody seems to know if I'm blue or grey. It's okay. It doesn't really matter...Jerkass: Book-me is definitely one. I almost feel sorry for him. That could be me, but I don't have any reason to be mean. Besides, we haveRabbitfor that...Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I'm not always in a happy mood, but my friends matter to me the most. Not that they know that, mind you...Jumping-to-Conclusions Diagnosis: If anyone gets a cold, I'm probably gonna catch it too.A Lizard Named \"Liz\": Christopher Robin says my name is what a donkey sounds like. I've never heard another donkey say that, so I'll just have to take his word for it.Odd Friendship: Tigger may be the wildest bunch of the Hundred Acre Wood gang, but he's the best friend I could have. Beggars can't be choosers...Only Sane Man: Sometimes I end up like this for no good reason. That's what you get when you have friends who aren't always paying attention.Punny Name: Like I said, I'm named after a donkey sound. I don't get it, but it's okay...The Stoic: Nothing at this point could surprise me. I just take it like it is. Even if bad things happen.Surrounded by Idiots: Book-me thinks this of everyone else. I'm not upset about it; somedays I feel like that too. But I wouldn't change Pooh and the others. They're just special the way they are. Too bad they'll never know...Trademark Favorite Food: Thistles. Just plain old thistles. It's not much, but they taste pretty good. It's one of the few certainties in life...Vocal Evolution: Over the years, I've sounded a lot deeper thanks to somebody calledPeter Cullen. I used to just sound sad, but when he voiced me, I got a lot deeper. Come to think of it, his voicesounds familiar. Not that anyone will notice...noteStarscream: Oh, but I do...When He Smiles: Sometimes, I don't know what comes over me, but I give off a big old smile. I just hope it doesn't make everyone else feel uncomfortable..."}
{"text": "Head's up: Don't just replace every instance of \"l\" and \"r\" with \"w\". Read back how it sounds in your head. Wive a wittle.Wabbit twacks! Gotta go!\"Shhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh.\"\u2014And dat's my catchphwase!(For appwopwiate weading, pwease wead this page in the diawouge of the wate, great wadio star Arthah Q. Bwian. There'squite a few othah choicesout there, and evenMel Bwank himsewfgave me a voice sometimes, but some of Mistah Bwian's most wecognizable successows areHaw Smith,Jeff Bergman,Gweg Burson,Biwwy WestandEwic Bauza. Jeff or Ewic cuwwently portway me the most in wecent media.)Oh! Why, hewwo there! You must be one of those twopers I've been heawing about. I'd say it's vewy nice to meet you. Oh\u2026 you wanna hear abowt me? Dis is my sewf-demonstwating page? Wewl, I'd be qwite honored to obwige!My name is Elmuh J. Fudd.I'm a miwwionaiwe, and I own a mansion and a yacht!At weast, I used to.Moah impohtantwy, I'm a bewoved stawh in the Warnah Bwothahs'Wooney TunesandMewwy Mewodiesanimated pwoductions. Andmostimpohtantwy, I'm a pwoud,accompwishedgame huntah whose wife goawl is to catcha cewtain wascawwy wabbitonce and for awl!The pwobwem's dat he's just so dawncwafty!No mattah my twicks, no mattah my twaps, he aw-ways,aw-waysfinds a way awound it! But no worwies. For now, wet's get down to the auto-biogwaphical part of the page.My cawreah on the big siwvah scween started awwwwl the way back in 1937\u2014 and ahead of dat wabbit by a hop and a skip, if I might add\u2014 in a short cawwed\"Egghead Wides Again\", back when I was cawwed Egghead. I bewieve. Appawentwy,Mistah Mike-awl Bear-wiahsaid some of the people wuh-king on the cawtoons or pubwicizing them either couldn't tell the two of us apart or didn't even bothah. Oh wewl.After thwee yeaws of the Egghead pwototype, my appeawance was wefined in 1940 for a cawtoon cawwed\"Elmuh's Candid Camewa\". In it, I met a wabbit who I wanted to take a picture of, but didn't seem to want it.It's not quite my best fiwst step,but a wittle while waitah came\"A Wild Hare\", which cemented my wole as a big game huntah\u2026 and pwoperly intwoduced dat smart-awec wodent, Bugs Bunny, to made a mockewy out of me!Of course, the folks at Warnah Bwothahs weren't so mean and cwuel as to make dat my onwy puwpose. I've been in other showts where I've been stuff fwom a hunter toSewlvestah'sfinancial advisor to an office workah, and I could go on, but we've onwy got so much time.But as I've said, I'm mainwy a huntah out to catch a wabbit. I might not have been awl that successful since I've been twying forupwards to a centurwy by now, but as wong as there's bweath in my body, I won't give up yet!Here's some twopes that appwy to me:Adaptational Badass: Now, I typicawwy am not one to bwag, but dere awe some stowies where dis appwies to me.Inthat space show that stawed the duck, I was weimagined as an awien hivemind viwus called \"The Fudd\". Anyone who got infected with it had their head turn into mine, and then they would endwesswy waugh wike I do.When I tangled withthe Batmanat DC, I came cwoser to bwowing him away on my first twy than I did with the wabbit in decades! How'sdatfor cosmic iwony?Anti-Villain: Hey! I'm onwy a viwwan fwom the point of view of that wascawwy wabbit! Otherwise,I'm a pewfectwy nice and chawitable citizen. I just wike hunting is awl.Arch-Enemy: Tothat wascawwy wabbit. Though I wiwl huntthe ducktoo if given the opportunity. He's usuawwy an easier target.Art Evolution: I went thwough a couple of design changes befowe the Warnah Bwothahs settled on my curwent wook.Butt-Monkey: Sure, dat wabbit's made a monkey out of me for yeaws now, but you stiwl could've gave me a nicer name. I have feelwings, aftah awl.Catchphrase: Wight at the top: \"Shhhh, be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits. Huhuhuhuhuhuh!\"Charlie Brown Baldness: Wike young Charwie Bwown himsewf, I haven't gotten a hair on my head. And to that I say\u2026good gwief.Darker and Edgier:Inthat science fiction show stawwing the duck, I was made into a kind of awien disease that infected anyone cwose to my hosts. Anyone infected has their face wook wike mine, and they start waughing wike me, onwy endwesswy.When I went to Gotham City, the witers at DC weimagined me as a contwact kiwler who actuawwy gave Batman a wun for his money (though not as much asthat vewy mean and scawy cwown manwho Iweallyhope doesn'twearn about all dat). But if onwy I got to stay that way. Maybe I could've finawwy got that scwewy wabbit!Determinator: I WILL catch that wabbit, no mattah how wong and stwenuous the journey!Elmer Fudd Syndrome: Ooh, dis one'snamed aftah me! Geez, is the way I talk weally that pwevalent?The Everyman: I became this in a couple of shorts, wike when I had to wook aftah Cwabtwee's dog Wupert, or when that scwewy duck twied to sell me on push-button homes.Evil Vegetarian: Wait, \"evil\"? That's kinda hawsh. Dat said, I mentioned in one picture that I'm a vegetawian, and I onwy hunt for the spowt of it. Though in other cawtoons I don't weally seem to mind a bit of meat in my diet.But what can you expect of a guy who worked in the Wooney Tunes and Mewwy Mewodies?Got Me Doing It: Inone comic stwip, the fowman of a scwewdwivuh factowy stawts tawking wike me.Hidden Depths: Ah, how I adore the cwassical piano of Johann Stwauss. And I awso know awot about the awea of economics. This centuwy could use some of it, if I might add.Iconic Outfit: In the cartoons, I wear whatevuh is needed for the pwot. In othah media such as pwomotional matewials or what have you, I usuawwy wear my hunting cwothes.Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: Wewl, I haven't actuawwy managed to catch that wabbit, but I'm touched that people actuawwy feel sowwy for me about it. In fact,Mistah Fwelingbewieved I was so soft that the wabbit was stawting to wook wike a buwwy picking on me, so he cweated that Yosemite Sam as a more aggwessive viwwan. I stiwl don't know how to feel about that, especiawwy since the Martian, Tazmanian Devil and witch came fwomthat same pwocess of ewimination.Literal-Minded: Now, now, I don't takeevewythingI hear witterawy. I just gotta make sure I'm hunting whatevah's in season. If I'm told it's wabbit season, I hunt wabbits. If it's duck season, I hunt ducks. If it's goat, mongoose, pigeon, dirty skunk, orbasebaww season\u2026 wewl, you get the point.Rascally Rabbit: Now, now, I'm not a wabbit mysewf, but I didname the twopeaftah hunting that you-know-who for so wong. I'wl get him someday.Signature Laugh: It's vewy distinct, isn't it? Huhuhuhuhuhuh.Team Rocket Wins: Who's this \"Team Wocket\"?Ah, I see.I guess I can welate given how they also twy hawd to catch a swipperwy cwittah.But yes, I have actuawwy got one ovah on that scwewy wabbitafewtimes. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!Awso, when I'm not facing off against dat scwewy wabbit, I do tend to win a wot more. It's just dat he's so twicky, see? When I'm fightingdat dawn duck, I tend to win at weast hawf da time. And in a showt cawwed \"Cwows Feat\", I easily handwed a pair of scwewy cwows. Oh! And in \"What's My Wion?\", I got to beat upa wionand a bunch of othah animaws who were awl pwetending to be stuffed \u2014 I pwetended I didn't know dat they were, but I knew awl awong, and I set a new wecord in giving them da boot, too!Trademark Favorite Food: InThe Wooney Tunes Show, I do wove me a nice gwiwwed cheese sandwich. Why, I couwdsingabout how much I wove gwilled cheese sandwiches. \u2026Why are you stawing at me wike dat?Kiwl the wabbit/Kiwl the wabbit/Kiwl the wabbit/kiwl the wabbit!"}
{"text": "You will respect my authoritah, troper!(This page is best read in the voice ofTrey Parker.)Hello, you guys. My name isEric Cartmanand I kick ass! Why? Because I did a bunch of shit that you won't be able to do. I starred in my ownstory arc with the \"Coon\"where I teamed up withthe Dark Lord Cthulhu, Imade Scott Tenorman eat his own parentsover $16.12, I successfully stoppedOsama bin Ladenfrom taking over the world by usingwild takesand all thatcartoon crap, and I starred in a Cheesy Poofs commercial! I also helped stop thewar between Canada and the United Stateswith my slaves Kahl, Stan, and that British dude I don't give a crap about. (Oh, and that one wasa musical, butI don't know why either.)Wait. Did I mention the time I became the Grand Wizard of Kupa Keep and first helped lead Microsoft to victory during the Console Wars (though that didn't end as hoped), thenhelped some kid named Douchebag (I named him) along on his quest for the Stick of Truth? (Oh, and get theGrand Wizard Editionof that game. It comes withan awesome figure of yours truly.) Oh yeah, andDouchebag's later joined me and the guys again for a game of superheroes, it was totally fucking sweet. I'm also a fierce supporter ofColorado's ownDenver Nuggetsandmy workplace'sLos Angeles Kings, which even let mespend a day withThe Stanley Cup!Anyway, this ismyvery own page on the wiki. Anyone can help me edit, as long as you're not Jewish, black, brown, yellow, red, gay,bisexual, transginger, a hippie, a communist, Buddhist, Muslim,Jewish, a Scientologist, Kyyyinny, Kahl, Kahl's mom, my mom,Seth MacFarlane, a ginger,a Jerseyite,Justin Bieber, Scott Tenorman, Wendy Testaburger,ClydeDonovan,CraigTucker,James Cameron,Barbra Streisand- Wikipedia, a government worker, a senior citizen,Jewish, a zombie, a Nazi Zombie (regular Nazis are fine),fat, a fat shammer,PewDiePie, PC Principal, my ex-girlfriendHeidi Turner, Butters orJewish. There. Got all that?You seriouslah better not edit this page if you'reJewish.And you'd better shut yer yapper if ya don't want yer ass handed to ya!The following tropes apply to me, myself, and I, Eric Cartman:Acrofatic: What!? I'm not fat! I'm just big-boned! And so is that menace to society, the Coon! How the hell would he be able to scale entire buildings if he was a slobby fatass? Oh, and about that time I caused the entire class to fail a fitness test?It was ''their'' fault.Anti-Hero:I was this before Scott Tenorman decided to push my buttons by selling me his pubes for $16. After that, I decided to be acomplete dickto him and everyone else. But hey! The world deserves it! Though I have softened up a bit lately, and am evenin charge of all the good guysinThe Stick of Truth.Then there was that time when a hippie music festival invaded South Park, and I saved the town by driving the hippies away with death metal. I even bargained with the adults so that I got a new Tonka radio-controlled bulldozer and got to play with it in the skewl parking lot where Kahl had to watch me and get super-jealous because he doesn't have one! It was a sweet victory!Animal-Themed Superbeing: The Coon may dress up as a raccoon, but his vigilantism has no place in this world; he's a menace.But he's obviously really kewl!Arch-Enemy:Kahl Broflovski. That fucking prick is always preaching about what I'm doing is wrong and how I only care about myself and then he's always trying to stop my plans. And on top of that, he's a fucking Jew. And a ginger. And he recently turned out to be fromJerseytoo.There is also Wendy Testaburger. That liberal bitch is always trying to fuck me over. she gave me aNo Holds Barred Beat Downwhen I made fun of Breast Cancer, gave my idea of \"Dancing With Smurfs\" to James Cameron and let that fucking prick change the name toAvatar, ruined my plan of getting my own bathroom by changing into a guy and using it, and made me the ugliest kid in skewl in place ofKahl, when she found the real list. I only hate her less than Kahl cause she's not a Jew or a ginger or from Jersey and we wereattracted to each other once.There's also Mysterion, AKA Kyyyinny McCormick, who's always trying to prove he's better than me when it comes to being a superhero. Not only that but he also said that I'm not an actual superhero because I'm only making the world a better place for me. Uh,That's what superheroes do!However they all pale in comparison to my ultimate nemesis, Scott Tenorman! He's an absolute asshole whoconned me of my $16 with his pubes so I decided to get back at him by feeding him his own parents in the form of chili.It seemed I had the last laugh, then that motherfucker showed up and revealed to me and the world that my father was his father whom I killed and fed to. That means I'm Half Ginger. HALF GINGER!! Although this is mitigated in that I'm also half Denver Bronco, which is pretty kewl. Anyway, he managed to escape me for now, but make no mistake I will have my revenge onSCOTT. FUCKING. TENORMAN!Ass Kicks You: This one time, while I was Sumo wrestling with Craig, teaching him how to fight and stuff, I totally kicked his ass by literally usingmyass! And he cried like a little girl! Even though I'm all buff and stuff and don't have an ounce of fat on me, sensei said with the power of my ass, I should consider Sumo wrestling.Attention Whore: And I fuckingdeserveyour attention!Audience Surrogate: Sometimes when I getA Day in the Limelight. Usually Kahl or Stan are this, but when they aren't around, who else is going to react the way you guys would to all that weird shit that happens in South Park?Ax-Crazy: Come on, what's wrong with wanting to kill some people once in a while? Like the time I killed Scott Tenorman's parents and fed them to him? Or when I teamed up with Cthulhu and killed all the hippies, Jews, gaysandJustin Bieber?Author Avatar: One ofthe dudes upstairs(the one who does my sucky voice \u2014 seriouslah, dude, I should sound better than that!) apparently shares some of my views, like howFamily Guyis one of the worst fucking cartoons ever, or how gingers have no souls.Batman Gambit: I pulled a truly epic one in \"Scott Tenorman Must Die!\".Be Careful What You Wish For: When I began living in a hot dog, I only wanted to move back to my former house. But then one day after Butters forced me into taking a job at an ice cream store, I decided to turn that hot dog into my own personal paradise: DikinBaus. (Hehe, DikinBaus...) But then Mem and Butters fucked me by selling it under my back and forced me back into that shitty home! GODDAMNIT I WANT DIKINBAUS!DIKINBAUS!!!!!!Big Bad: It sure is nice to be the bad guy. Especially when I was the Coon and got to team up with theDark fucking LordCthulhu.Berserk Button: There's many things that pisses me off like Jews, hippies,and Jewish hippies. But to start off...Don't you dare compare me to that fucking hackSeth Macfarlaneand that fucking show of his.How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not fucking fat!Big Eater: I love me some pie, KFC, and Cheesy Poofs, and goddammit you can't have any!Big Brother Mentor: Yeah, believe it or not,during my time as Grand Wizard, I taught Douchebag (who some of you know just as the New Kid or evenDovahkiin) everything he knows about how to fight and even some of what he knows aboutmagicand I'll admit I've been a hell of alot more respectful and friendlier toward him than I have with the rest of Kupa Keep. Kahl would no doubt make you thinkI'm just using Douchebag for my own gain, but you'd be smart not to listen to anything that fucking lying Jewish Elf says.Bizarre Taste in Food: What?! Chocolate chicken pot pies, powdered donut pancake surprise and chocolate toaster pastry butterballs are real foods, and they're totally awesome! Whateva! I do what I want!Boisterous Weakling:I am not weak, and I'll kick your ass if you\u2014AHHH! (trips and falls on his face) MEEEEEEMMMMMM!Boob-Based Gag:I had a surgery to give myself fake boobs. They were originally planned for Mom, but she is acting crazy since we moved to the hot dog and refused to go along with my plan to get us out of the hot dog stand. Just to clarify, this was not a choice!Breakout Character: Originally, I was just thatBig-Boned Kidsharing the spotlight with those other guys, but I turned out to be so much kewler than them that I became the most popular character on the show! I mean who's your favorite character?(imitating high-pitched stupid voice: Oh, I dunno, is it Stan? is it Kahl?)Wrong! It'sme!Broken Pedestal: Ha! you better believe theNew Kidused to really hold me on a pedestal! They thought of me as a great friend and mentor. They could easily tell you themself! (at least they would ifthey started talking).BUT! New Kid suddenly decided they didn't want anything to do with me anymore, all because they thoughtIwas Mitch Conner, the crime boss who kidnapped their parents, come on, New Kid!you of all people should know I'm not him!Butt-Monkey: It's not fair!I am the nicest kid in the worldand all thisbad shit happens to me for no good reason!Can't Stand Them, Can't Live Without Them:I threw a party when Kahl moved away, but then I had to deal with Butters and he makes a crappy replacement Jew! (Seriouslah, he's not even Jewish!) And then there was the time Kahl saved me and Dogpoo after Snooki raped us. So I guess he's good for something.Also Kyyyinny. I hate him too, but if he's not around, then I can't make fun of him for being poor anymore. And because it makes ME the poorest kid in skewl!Catchphrase: I've got a few;\"Screw You Guys, I'm going home!\"\"Suck my balls!\"\"I'll kick you in the nuts!\" or \"I'll kick you squah in the nuts!\"Cool House: I used to live in DikinBaus, which was lame until I redecorated it, but Butters and mom decided to fuck me over and sold it under my back in order to move me to my former shittier house.The Corrupter: I manipulatedmy former girlfriend Heidiinto being just like me! Unfortunately, Imayhave made a mistake in doing that...Crazy Homeless Person: I bet KAHL paid you to say that I will end like this!Dirty Coward: I am not a coward!When I start I fight will got at to my last breath!Disproportionate Retribution:NO, killing Scott Tenorman's parents, chopping them up, putting them into chili, and feeding them to him was NOT disproportionate retribution! It was a very VALID retribution after the ASSHOLE stole SIXTEEEN DOLLARS AND TWELVE CENTS and BURNED IT ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Goddamn it, I fucking HATE SCOTT TENORMAN!I poisoned Billy's lunch milk and told him that the only way he could get the cure is that he could hacksaw his leg, all because he called me chubby.Does Not Like Spam: Why else did I team up with Cthulhu to destroy that organic crap factory that is Whole Foods?Ironically, when PC Principal first became principal of my skewl, he and Stan's dad had Whole Foods brought to our town, and not once had I complained about it throughout the entire season, even when its presence made it too expensive for anyone to live there.Elimination Catch Phrase: So you didn't have what it takes to replace Kyyyinny in our group, did ya? To that, I say... \"Get the fudge out!\"Even Evil Has Standards:Shooting people in the dick, Butters? What the hell?! THAT'S WRAAAAAAUNG!! I also can't stand cats being tortured, minorities, yes, but never cats!Those Super Adventure Club guys are just fucking sick! I have done a lot of stuff to people, but I was just as horrified by those pedophile freaks as everyone else was. And let's not even get started with my brief stint with NAMBLA!Kyyyinny getting high is just wrong so I tried to stop him.I was also completely willing to give the pangolin to the scientist for a COVID-19 cure, only for that god dammed prick President Garrison to show up and burn those two alive with his flamethrower!When everybody at skewl saw Tweek constantly going mental, even I wondered what the hell his parents do to him.Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: What do you mean I can't understand being nice?! I wore a nice sweater didn't I? I also don't get why the others felt remorse after we framed Butters for TP'ing the art teacher's house, we got away with it didn't we?Evil Is Hammy: Disagree with the \"large\" part, but agree that I'm deliciously mean!Farts on Fire:One time, I couldn't stop farting fire out of my ass. It was really goddamn painful. The other guys say the fire was shot out from a malfunctioning anal probe that some aliens inserted into my ass for some kinda\"Truman Show\" Plot, but I sayit was all those extra spicy tamales Chef made.Now, I used to think this was bullcrap that only happened in \"Terrance And Phillip,\" so Kyyyinny bet me a hundred bucks that he could do it. And he showed that, yes, youcanlight a fart on fire. Who knew? Then the dumbass lithimselfon fire and burned to death, which was pretty sweet, 'cause that meant I didn't need to pay him.Fat Bastard: Hey, fuck you! I'm not fat, I'm \u2014 *ahem* I mean, this trope issubverted. I may be a bastard, and boy do I love being one, but I'm not fat. At all. Ever. I'm just big-boned.Capische?The Friend No One Likes: Those other guys can't stand me because they know I'm so much better than they are. That's fine, 'cause I don't like them either!Future Loser:Where the hell did you get the idea that I'm going to grow up to be a crappy mechanic? Because I told that one butthole off who claimed he was my future self? Screw you and screw him! That was just a trick by those assholes at Motivation Corp after I smeared poop all over their walls!Apparently, this is averted and my real future is to get a hot wife, kewl, and become a...Jewish rabbi?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BULLCRAP?!!Okay, looks like that was false. My real,realfuture is to be...some poor homeless drunk?! KAHL, SERIOUSLAH, HAVE YOU BEEN MESSING WITH MY TROPE PAGE?! I am going to kick you in thenutsfor this!Groin Attack: Don't piss me off or else I'll kick you in the nuts!I Am Big Boned: I'm also getting in shape. In fact, I am buff. Festively plump, even. I just haven't grown into my body yet. But it's a sweet hockey body. In the end, no matter how you slice it, I am in no way fat. You can't slim down bones, stupid. BEEFCAKE!Jerkass: I was the fuckin' PAGE IMAGE for that trope for a REEEEASON!Jerkass Has a Point:A lot of viewers agree with me when I said thatFamily Guyis a piece of shit.When the town outlawed cats, I was the only person to acknowledge that the cats were innocent creatures who didn't do anything wrong.Karmic Butt-Monkey: Oh fuck you, TV Tropes! I bet Kahl paid you in Jew Gold to make that trope!Last-Name Basis: All the other kids except for Butters just call me Cartman. Only Butters and adults call me Eric. I'm kewl with it either way.Just don't call me fat!!!Manipulative Bastard: Remember the time I pretended I was Butters on the phone and cussed out his parents, and they came home and kicked his ass? Ah, good times. I wish you could bottle that feeling. And the time I convinced him the world ended so I could go to Casa Bonita instead of him? And then I almost got a Family Guy episode pulled except then that stupid Jew Kahl showed up and ruined everything!Metaphorgotten: While I was arguing about taking a moral stand on issues back when me and the guys had our own start-up company, Kahl claimed that I mix up NFL players molesting little boys and Catholic Church clergymen beating up their wives in an elevator. I say they're the same thing!The Napoleon: Who are you calling short, dickhead?! I'll kick your ass!Narcissist: Seeing how the world really does revolve around me and what I want, can youreallycall me a narcissist? I mean, can youreally? I mean, I was once bullied by some psychotic TV dog trainer into entertaining the laughable thought that just maybe it wasn't the case, and... Uh... And... And... And I... I-I, uh... Huh. Funny thing, really. I can't seem to remember much of that experience... Why is my nose bleeding?Official Couple: Guess what, bitches? I once had a girlfriend, and her name wasHeidi Turner! I loved her so fucking much and I'm PISSED THAT SHE BROKE UP WITH ME!!!Oh, Crap!: When I found that Kahl's mom wasRight Behind Meat the end of my song where I called her a big, fat, fucking bitch.Pet the Dog: When I learned that Chef was returning after an unexplained absence, I wanted to see him. Chef was kewl, and I was the first to suggest he might have survived falling off a cliff.There's also the times whereI took the New Kidunder my wing. I'm always the first to welcome them into the fold and I'm the one who forged them into the badass they've become.Can you really be surprised they're among the few people who rightly respect me?Well at least they used too....I love my cat, sowhen the town outlawed cats to keep people from getting high, I hid him up my attic to make sure he wouldn't get taken away, and gradually I started hiding even more cats.Because no living thing should be forced to hide our of fear of persecution.I was moved by Stan's speech about being fed up with the fucking COVID-19 pandemic and him breaking into tears.I also saved Kahl and his entire family (yes, even Super Bitch Sheila) from being killed by San Francisco choking on its own smug. Picking on Butters wasn't nearly as much fun as winding up Kahl.I actually hit it off with Stan's older sister Shelley and we fucked up her ex-boyfriend. What was a twenty-year old guy doing dating a twelve-year old girl, anyway?I've been fighting for years to protect my town from hippies. I'll even do free door-to-door consultations to help homeowners get rid of any hippies infesting their property. The mass hippie festival was a close call, though.Police Brutality: One time, I took over policing duties while Barbrady was learning how to read. And in that time, I taught everyone to RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!Politically Incorrect Villain: I just don't like Jews, and I'm not a fan of Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics either! Nowadays, since this doesn't work well, I've decided to try being PC.PSYCH! Ha-ha-ha!Pretty Fly for a White Guy: When I was trying to find out who my real Dad was, I dressed like a hip-hop rapper and used \"Black\" speech after I thought that Chef was my father. And this actually wasn't me being racist for once-I really did think I was half-Black. Thank Christ I dodged that bullet...Red Is Violent: I wear a red jacket and can kick anyone's asses when provoked.Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Whenever the guys are pissin' me off or acting lamer than usual, I just give 'em the old \"Screw you guys, I'm going home.\"Secret Chaser: Back when the Coon first started his career and tried to raise awareness, this butthole calling himself Mysterion showed up and stole the glory. I suspected that someone in my class was Mysterion, since I told everyone about the Coon earlier that day. I still remember these words I uttered during my investigation: \"Why do you have a picture of Mysterion in your locker, Kyyyinny? ...Unless youareMysterion!\" Well, guess what, you guys? I WAS RIGHT!! That poor piece of crap deserved to be sent juvenile hall for being a copycat! Who cares if all the other kids had pictures of him in their lockers? The point is moot now!Self-Fanservice: I have many adoring anime fangirls who rightfully draw me as thehandsome, skinny pretty boy that I am. But as forthat other thing they do with me and Kahl... well,fuck. Just readthis thing that I wrote. (At least Kyyyinny seemed to enjoy the whole thing, so the dudes upstairs decided to let him be abona fide Japanese princess. Don't ask why he wanted to be a chick too, it's just how he seemed to be rolling then.)Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: What the fuck do you mean my recent actions are gonna cause me to become a hobo?!Sharing a Body: For a while, Kyyyinny's soul was stuck in my body because his parents were too poor to give him a proper burial and his ashes looked like chocolate milk mix. It sucked balls having him inside me and I eventually had to get him out before my time ran out (whatever that means), but I did at least learn where the stupid asshole hid the ticket for the candy store shopping spree.Shock and Awe:Well, I got this V-chip doohickey stuck inside me after I called Kahl's mom a bitch (in song!) and itjust so happened to malfunction just in time for me to electrocute the everloving shit out of Saddam Husseinbyswearing. Here's a taste of how I did it:Me:\"Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner, bitch, muff, pussy, cunt, butthole, Barbra Streisand!!\"[electrocutes Saddam Hussein]I've also kept this ability during thattime we were playing fantasy and I worked with Douchebag.Signature Song: I once came up with the best Christmas song ever, it's about how Kahl's mom is a stupid bitch, come onsing along everyone! *ahem*\u266b Weeeeeellll,Kahl's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to- \u266bGod damn it I told you to sing ALONG!Sir Swears-a-Lot: My swearing can even beweaponized!Son of a Whore: HAIY! You will take that back RIGHT NYAH, or I will kick you in the nuts! My Mem isnota whore, she didnotstar in a German movie where she got pooped on, and whatever she did was because she was young and needed the money! ...What do you mean that happened last month?! SCREW YOU!Stock Ninja Weaponry: I managed to pick this kickass pair of sai at the Park County Fair. With them, I became Bulrag, tough brute ninja who dedicates his life to eradicating the world of hippies and who has lots and lots of powers! Kahl didn't like that of course, but screw him!Tempting Fate: When Chef fell off a cliff and a cougar and bear tore him to pieces, I suggested he might be okay. Then he crapped his pants.Troll:No matter how nasty I'm feeling, it sure is damn fun to make other people feel like shit. Especially Kahl. And I've been doing this a lot longer than thatTerumijackoffnoteTerumi: You wanna go at it, you fat little pigshit?! Waitaminute, I don't have to, 'cuz I'm not the one eating a spooge burrito! HA! Oh yeah I WILL tell Heidi about your past! Oh wait she dumped your Fat Ass! I may be dead in my own series but at least I'm not a filthy hobo in the future wallowing in his own shit, piss, puke, smegma, and cum! HA HA HA!!! Nice tits, BTW! HA HA HA HA HA HA!.But I am NOT Skankhunt42.I bet it's Kahl's dad, that fucking Jew asshole lawyer!Took a Level in Jerkass: After Scott Tenorman fucked me over for the last time, and I gave him what for, I decided that nobody was gonna stop ME from doing WHAT I want WHEN I want!Took a Level in Kindness: So in recent years, I've been trying to calm down from my evil ways. I even toldKahl that I just am not into these old shenanigans anymore.I just hope TrollTrace.com and Heidi's emoji analysis don't force my past to catch up with me...The Virus: Just a while back, I started on my own commentary channel onYouTubecalled \"CartmanBrah\", where I comment on people commenting on games, then branching out to commentary on people commenting on other stuff. I soon developed a following, and I bolstered it with a holiday special with live tweeting and everything, to the point where my CartmanBrah commenter window was everywhere. Unfontunately, just as I was on my way into becomingThe Singularity, Kahl and his stupid \"#WeBelieveInYou\" hashtag ruined everything, andGod damnedPewDiePieshowed up and deleted my holiday special in favor ofCall Of Dutycommentary!Villainous Rescue:I once saved Kahl from dying in a smug storm, even at risk to my own life. Don't get the wrong idea, I didn't do it because I liked him, I did it because like Stan said, I can't go on without Kahl to rank on.Vitriolic Best Buds: I hate Stan, Kyyyinny andespecially Kahl, and they hate me right back, but we still hang out.They all want to hang out with me because I'm the kewlest kid in South Park, and I let them because of how kewl I am.Vocal Evolution: My voice was higher-pitched and more nasally in the early days ofSouth Park. I guess that's what seventeen years of bitching around (and never growing up) does to ya.Wise Beyond Their Years: I may not have grown my pubes yet, but I'm so much more mature than all the other kids my age. It's why I keep trying to make more mature friends,even if they keep turning out to be sick perverts.Your Mom: As you found out from the episode \"The Poor Kid\", I'm quite good at 'Yo Mama'. Especially the 'Yo Mama So Poor' jokes toward kids in skewl poorer than me \u2014 even Kyyyinny! His Mama So Poor she hangs toilet paper out to dry! *laughs maniacally*But don't think this meansyou can take ashot at my meeem!!!On a final note:Screw you tropers,I'm going home.You're dephbpbphpicable.Alternative Title(s):South Park Eric Cartman"}
{"text": "What the hell areYOUstarin' at?! Self-demonstrating, huh? You mean, you want me to talk about myself? Um, well, why didn't you say so? That I can do. Duckman, Private Dick, Family Man, World-Renowned Ladies' Man. My first name's Eric, but don't call me that. I have a family that hate my guts; I live with my godawful fitness freak of a sister-in-law and a comatose fire hazard of a mother-in-law, my Siamese twins Charles and Salsa, and Ajax, who is, let's just say there's bread in the oven but the pilot light's out, but he's the only person who I can talk to without alienating me. I'll admit, he's a good kid. I wonder when his birthday is? Never mind, did I mention that I work as a detective? Cornfed's my assistant, and of course,I do all the work, while he and thosenightmare bears are right behind me, or in the bears' case, ticking me off with their uber-politically correct crap to the point where I literally beat the stuffing out of them. Yep, Duckman here is the world's greatest detective, and the chicksjuuustdig me!Of course, Ihada wife. She got killed in a parade accidentor so I thought until she walked in on a wedding one day. Why did Corny never tell me this? I thought we were, you know, pals! He was going to but my show was cancelled before he could. Why?! Dozens of people watchUSA! And wouldn't you know it, the creator of my show bit the big one so it's not gonna be resolved. Unless someone who cares enough about television steps in, and what are the chances of that? In the meantime, you're stuck withLaw & Orderspin-off reruns and wrestling.noteAnd even if someone carries on Everett's work, I'll just betransferredto thatnew streaming channel that's all the rage these dayssince cable's going the way of the dodo. Also, I let those weird but kind guys over atRick and Mortyuse my face on a lunchbox in that slut dragon episode. How is a dragon exactly a slut anyway? I dunno, I don't get that show's intelligent stuff. But hey, at least they're acknowledging my existence in a world that needs people like me more than ever, even if it is just a lousy cameo on fake merchandise.What the hell are you staring at?! Go look at my tropes, you jerks! Read all about America's true hero Duckman!:Accidental Misnaming: My twins are called Charles and Samba. Or is it Rumba? N boyo, it's Jive. Ah, forget it.Anti-Role Model: \"Role model?\" Ha! Any halfway intelligent audience would know I'm not somebody to imitate. Who'd aspire to imitate someone who's gotten the stuffing knocked out of him so many times, the only reason he gets up in the morning is because either he's really stupid, or somewhere, deep down inside, beats the heart of a disappointed, yet still hopeful, idealist. A yellow (YES, YELLOW!) teller of truth, who's a spokesperson for the silent masses who'd love to tell it like it is, who's an idol to be emulated, nay, a GOD, to be bowed down to!... But, heh, I'm... I'm not a role model.Bad Boss: If I want to teach Fluffy and Uranus a lesson on why political correctness is a bunch of crap, I will, the good ol' Duckman way. What?! Nobody cares about those furry freaks anyway! Though they did get me incarcerated to a women's prison once. And boy, did I get a lot out of that!Bad Liar: Yep, I've solved many cases in my career as a detective. What the hell are you staring at?! I have! What is this, 20 questions?! I'm the detective, not you!Blind Without 'Em: Think thatsmart sweater girlfromScooby-Doohas it rough? At least she has eyes and some vision. Me on the other hand, I'm actually screwed without my glasses! Seriously, they're literally my eyes for some reason, and they float off my face too! Freaky stuff.Butt-Monkey: You honestly have no idea! My family hates me, sometimes the whole world seems to hate me too, my wife died because of me, I have a cartoonishly long list of things wrong with my life I will not go over anymore!And Cornfed keeps taking all the credit for all my hard work.Casanova Wannabe: But the chicks do dig me! Honest! Corny just keeps stealing them from me, that's all.Future Me Scares Me: Oh why did it have to be this trope to pad my page? Okay, fine, I'll do if it means not having it deleted for not having enough content here as is. I kinda promised Charles and Bossanova to attend their recital. Then Ajax somehow managed to rip a hole in time and space. I met one of my future selves who got filthy rich just by attending the recital, but before I could go through with it, I get an unwelcome visit from my other future selves and long story short, things went downhill from there...noteOh God, \"sharing\" a body with Bernice has got to bethe worst kind of hell.Hair-Trigger Temper: A lot of things piss me off: Bernice, political correctness, the world's condition, Bernice, chicks ignoring me, people staring at me, Bernice, people that park in my space, those dummy bears Fluffy and Uranus, the list goes on. Oh, and Bernice.Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Yeah, \"hilarious\". Sadly this trope was the only thing keeping me from ending up like thehorse guywho's a got worse childhood than mine ever was!I Hate Past Me: Averted and defied, baby! During that aforementioned fiasco, past me dropped by and asked me about Beatrice. I only replied with \"You're gonna love her 'til the day you die.\"The Lost Lenore: Beatriceor so I thought. Having a battle-axe for a twin sister didn't help matters either.Obnoxious In-Laws: Take away all the sweetness and gentleness of my dear Beatrice and add in those two chainsmoker sisters fromThe Simpsons, thathair-triggered intolerable bitch from one of those mangas kids today are obsessed withnoteHey, Keitaro or whatever your name is. I don't care if she's the gal from your childhood that you made some marriage promise to, you could do much better! Though I've been informed that this Narusegawa sea skank was created as an antithesis to a character fromanother seriesnamed Belldandy who's basically my sweet Beatrice in anime formwith a bitof the red-headed bitchy pilot from that messed up mecha animenoteSeriously, what the hell's so damn appealing about girls with mental/mommy issues, though I'm not one to talk with my own issues with my mother., and finally that old bat fromSanford and SonnoteThat's Esther to you young folks out thereand you get Bernice. I amsoglad I did not marry her, though I wish God would swap their places; as in, spare Beatrice and have Bernice die horribly. And make it as slow and painful as possible! Wait, people can see this? And what do you mean Bernice isn't a bad person? And that she is right about me being a lousy person? She is and she isn't! And to hell with what you think. I hate that loud-mouthed lardass and that's that!Only Friend: *sighs* Okay I admit it. Cornfed's the only friend I have in my screwed-up life.Parents as People: Okay, so I ain't exactly the paragon of fatherhood with Ajax, Charles and Polka, but what'd ya expect from a guy whose own parents were crappy examples and still grieving over the apparent death of his own wife?"}
{"text": "Eh, what's all this now? \"Self-Demonstrating Page?\" Bah, darned new-fangled Interweb contraption, should've never let that dog drag this stupid computer-whatzit in here! All a man needs is his TV, chair and newspaper, that's what I say! Nevermind, if you have to know, my name is Eustace Bagge, farmer by profession. I'm married to Muriel Bagge, and together we live on a farm in the middle of Nowhere, alongside acertain annoying dog, much to my frustration! With all that being said, this page is best read in the voice of Lionel G. Wilson, Arthur Anderson, or whoever else has voiced me.Bah, so here's all these \"tropes\" that apparently apply to me, whatever that means!:Aesop Amnesia: I don't need to learn any darn lessons! I'm fine the way I am, dagnabbit!Anti-Role Model: Bah! Who wants to be a good role model anyhow?!Asshole Victim: Hey, watch your language, you punks! Okay, bad stuff seems to keep happening to me, so what?!A Real Man Is a Killer: I tried to become a hunter, just like me older brother was, but somehow, even the darndeermanaged to turn the tables on me!Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other:HEY, my marriage ain't none of you punks' business! I'm a married man, that's all ya need to know!Bad People Abuse Animals: I ain't bad! But animals need a firm hand, especially when they act out like that stupid dog does, you gotta show 'em who's boss!Bald of Evil: Hey, who're you callin' bald?!Baldness Angst: Bah, you'd be self-conscious about it too if you'd been bald like a plucked chicken since childhood!Berserk Button: I got lots, but you all know by now that that stupid dog is the most common one.Howdareyou say I'm not a good farmer?! I got green thumbs, dontch'a know!Don't touch my chair if you know what's good for ya!I ain't bald, darnit!Big Eater: Hey, farmin' is a man's job, and it works up an appetite!Blah, Blah, Blah: That's what I always say! You got a problem with it?Bullying a Dragon: Who cares if those stupid ugly monsters are more powerful than me? I still will taunt them every chance they get, because they're nothing without their powers!Butt-Monkey: Hey! Who you callin' a monkey's butt?!Captain Oblivious: Blah! Those monsters don't fool me!They're just stupid tricksters in disguise!The Chew Toy: Now that's just foolish, that sounds like something for that darn dog instead of me!Cool Mask: That's right! My good ole Ooga Booga mask! So cool that it always scares that stupid dog! OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!Deadpan Snarker: Gee! Ya think?!Dirty Coward: Who are you calling a coward?! You think I'm just going to face those ugly-looking creatures on my own?! No sir!Does Not Like Spam: I hate eggplants! And carrots!Drop the Hammer: That's it! I'm gettin' me mallet!Enemy Mine: As much as I don't like to admit it, there have been times where me and Courage have teamed up on more than one occasion.Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Eh, she may be a horrid shrew, and she likes the dog more than me, but she's still me Ma!Even Evil Has Standards: ...I ain't no softie, but ain't no one should just lose their parents like that, not even the stupid dog. Me Ma might not have liked me, but at least she was still there.A boy with no hat? That ain't right, a boy should have a hat, at least!Everyone Calls Him \"Barkeep\": Why the heck does everyone call me \"The Farmer?\" Do they not see my name in this here page?!Fearless Fool: Screw those ugly, unnatural things, whatever they are! They don't threaten me!Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Bah! Who needs a stupid soul?!Freudian Excuse: Hey! You'd be grumpy too if your mother never liked you and your brother always picked on you during your childhood!Greed: Hey! I gots to have this very important thing called money!Grumpy Old Man: Grr!Gee, wonder what gave it away!Hair-Trigger Temper: Grrr! I'm warning you! Do anything to anger me and I'll....Hate Sink: I'm only around for you stupid audience to have someone to hate! I hate you too!Heavy Sleeper: Heavy, huh? Come to think of it, I don't remember any of the noises while I was sleeping...Hey, You!: Courage! What a stupid name for a stupid scaredy-dog! I mostly like calling him a \"stupid dog!\" It fits him much better!Hidden Depths: Not that I care what any of you weirdoes think about anything, especially my farmin', but I'm a darn good mechanic, especially when it comes to my truck and the farm windmill.Hypocrite: Hey! I made a bunch of dumb decisions, but none of them are as stupid as that stupid dog! He don't do anything right! Wha.... ?! You telling me I don't do anything right either?! Screw you!I CAN cook! I just never feel like it!And I CAN fix anything!I Just Want to Be Loved: Is a good dose of affection really too much to ask for here?!Insufferable Imbecile: Who you callin' imbecile?! I ain't no imbecile, you stupid editor! That stupid dog is the imbecile! And thatweaselgipsyis wrong for calling ME the stupid one!Iron Butt Monkey: There's that stupid word again! Although I do have to admit that I AM made of iron! Otherwise, I'd be dead by now!Jerkass: Yeah,I'm mean! What did you expect?!Jerkass to One: I hate everyone! But the one I hate the most is that stupid dog!Karmic Butt-Monkey: Enough with that stupid word already! And so what if my suffering is karma?! It still ain't a reason to call me a monkey's butt!Lack of Empathy: What did you except? For me to actually consider what I put that stupid dog through on a daily basis wrong? If you thought that, then you are sadly mistaken.Laser-Guided Karma: Bad things happen to me because I do bad thing! Bah! Complete nonsense!Lean and Mean: Yep! I'm all skin and bones! And I am NOT a pleasant to be around! So beat it before I go get me mallet!Leitmotif: Strange how every time I'm enjoying myself with me money, some fiddle plays in the background. Oh well! Works for me! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!The Load: You take that back! I ain't useless! I'm far more useful than that dumb dog!Money Fetish: If there's one thing I love the most, it's MONEY! Lots and lots of money!Never My Fault: It's always the stupid dog's fault bad things are happening! Never mine!Never Bareheaded: A man ain't nuthin' without a hat!Psychopathic Manchild: Hey! Can I help it if me Ma never gave me a proper childhood?! There's no room for maturity in this city called Nowhere!Real Men Eat Meat: You ask me, a meal's not complete unless there's a slab of meat in it!Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: You think I give a smelly skunk's posterior about being polite? At my age?! Bah! You're dreaming!The Friend Nobody Likes: Who? Me? The friend nobody likes? Well okay that's fair. I'm a pretty unpleasant guy to be around.They Killed Kenny Again: There's one thing I can do better than my brother: get murdered and still come back to life!Too Dumb to Live: How dare you call me dumb! I told you, I ain't dumb! What?! So what if I got murdered by the monsters before? That wasn't stupidity! That was that stupid dog allowing me to walk into danger!Took a Level in Jerkass: That's right! I was once a grumpy grouch! But then I became a cruel curmudgeon who despise that dumb dog to a point where I wanted to finally KILL HIM for stealing all the good things I deserve! That dog deserved to die! It's a shame he had to ruin it all at the end!Uncanny Family Resemblance: Eh, some folks say I look just like me Pa, 'cept the old man had a beard. One crazy critter even thought I was him! Me, I don't see any resemblance.Unexplained Recovery: Don't matter none what kind of crazy fool adventures that stupid dog drags me and Muriel on, or what horrible fate befalls me, I'll always be right back in my chair before you know it. Never did figure out how...The Unfavorite: Me Ma didn't just like my older brother more than me, she likesmy dogmore than me!!Ungrateful Bastard: Bah, never asked the stupid dog to stick his big nose in my business anyway! So what do I gotta be grateful for?Used to Be a Sweet Child: Hey! I wasn't always this cranky! It's mostly me Ma and brother's fault!Alright, enough of that! Where's my dinner?!"}
{"text": "...and so he sez to me, \"YEAH, baby, you gotstyle, but if you're gonna be areal villain, ya gotta have aTV Tropespage!\" AndI sez, \"YEAH, BABY, YEAH!\"'CUZ I'M THEEVIL MIDNIGHT BOMBERWHAT BOMBS AT MIDNIGHT!AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!So he sez to me, \"You gotta do something SMART, baby, something BIG! He sez, \"You wanna be a supervillain, right?\" And I go,\"YEAH, BABY, YEAH!\"He sez,\"You got bombs,blow up the Comet Club! It's packed with superheroes... you'll go down in supervillain history!\"And I go, \"YEAH, BABY, YEAH!\"'CUZ I'M THE EVIL MIDNIGHT BOMBER WHAT BOMBS AT MIDNIGHT!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Eat my smoke,copper!You gotstyle, baby!Artistic License \u2013 Physics: An object at rest... cannot be stopped!Blatant Lies: You'll never prove a thing, copper, I'm just a part time electrician\u2026BAD IS GOOD, BABY! DOWN WITH GOVERNMENT!Department of Redundancy DepartmentCloud Cuckoolander:SURF'S UP, SPACE PONIES, I'M MAKIN' GRAVY WITHOUT THE LUMPS!AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Mad Bomber:Yeah, baby, YEAH!No Indoor Voice: And he sez to me, \"Evil's OK in by my book, what about yours?!\" And I go,\"YEAH, BABY, YEAH!\"Stuff Blowing Up:KABOOM!Talkative Loon: ...And so he sez to me, \"I don't like the cut of your jib!\" And I go, \"it's the only jib I got, baby!\" (this could be a realistic portrayal of disorganized speech schizophrenia)"}
{"text": "Super-teen extraordinaire!Um. Hi. I'm Dexter. Dexter Douglas. How's it going? There isn't really much to me, I guess. I'm fromWashington, D.C.. I go to high school, I can't seem to build up the nerve to ask out this girl Steph, my family neglects me andmy brother will be around in about ten minutes for my daily wedgie.But at least I have the internet, right? Like, I was just flipping through this message board talking about continuity errors in this episode ofNext Generation, and this one discussion got really heated when someone brought up Wesley's-Oh, I'm sorry. You wanted to talk tohim.Okay, if you're sure. It gets pretty crazy. Make sure he changes back by 5, okay? Mom's got jalape\u00f1o poppers on tonight.Ooooooohhhhhhhhhh FREAK OUT!!![WHOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!][da da DA da DA DADAAAAAAA...]HELLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!I'M HERE ON THE TROPE PAGE!!!Gosh, this is so neat! Hi! How are you? Are you on a Compaq? Do you like the color blue? Do you watchF Troop?? Do you ever get a chipped fingernail caught in a carpet thread? UGH! AUGH! IT'S THE WORST FEELING IN THE WHOLE WORLD!My name's Freakazoid! I'm a superhero! Or something! I'mreallystrong! And handsome! And I can run around really fast and ILOVEpapaya juice. My favorite show isHero Boy- I MUST SUCCEED! - and I live in the Freakalair and drive the Freakmobile, and fight crime! I think there'sanother guyon my networkthat does stuff like that. But my version ismuchmoreToyetic! Right, merchandising people???I don't get a toy??Well, once myfantastic TV showgets three seasons in, I'll be up there with some of the most toyetic-THEY WHAT?!YOU REPUGNANT, EXECUTIVE........ DOODOO HEADS!!!WHY I'VE GOT HALF A MIND T-Hey, Freakazoid. Wanna try this new drink, Surge?DO I?!?Hey. I'm back. Sorry. Well, the show was really fun! I met a lot of interesting people, including Sgt. Cosgrove! That was my friend. There was also a guy with a giant brain for a head! I mean, he was evil, and kept tying Steph to things, but MAN that guy could sing. And there was Cave Guy - he had a serious impulse control problem - and Cobra Queen! I never like seeing her though because she keeps hiding in the sewers surrounded by POO GAS, and then there's this one lady who could swish her face around to look like other people! What even happened to her?Oh, and there was this one guy namedCandle J-uh, never mind.I even met thepresidenta couple times, and he got to watch me save the day!PULL DE STREENG.Lookit you cute little tropey things! Yes you are! Little cutie tropey things! You have lil' sweet mints inside you, dontcha!? Little sweet mints inside and if I hug you they're gonna come out! Little sweet sweet sweets! Gimme smoochie smooch!!!Achilles' Heel: Well, I'm not supposed to tell anybody, but let's just say that it involves graphite bars charged with negative ions. That's all I'm gonna say. You look confused. Okay, hang on,lemme build it for you.DUMB, DUMB, DUMB! Never show the tropers how to trap you in a cage! Well, I think it was either this or poo gas.Airplane Arms: Whoosssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........Alliterative Name: My other self, Dexter Douglas.Arch-Enemy: Guitierrez. He's a weenie.Also The Lobe. That's the brain guy. How do you even get like that? Like, was he a human that had some kind of weird lab accident, or was he like a brain that became humanoid? Come to think of it-Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Oh, people just think I'm a little hyper because I have theentire internet in my brain.Nay, I'm a determined hero! Nothing stands between me and justice! Except a really good Monte Cristo sandwich, especially if there's good jam and the bacon's just right, and there's powdered sugar on top. That's how Elvis liked his sandwiches, you know. And he added half a jar of peanut butter!You got any bacon?Badbutt:[whispers]I was being marketed to young children!Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Of course! That's what my costume's missing!Chick Magnet: It's callous and based solely on hormone-riddled teenage indulgences. HEY STEEEEEEEPH????Cloud Cuckoolander: If you put baking soda and vinegar together they make a little volcano!!...what?Cool Car: The Freakmobile! How toyetic can ya get?Cyberspace: The motherland!Forgot About His Powers: Oh no, I remember I have super speed and stuff! It's just more fun to do this - Whoosssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........Heterosexual Life-Partners: Sgt. Cosgrove! What a great friend. That's the guy from earlier!Hey Dex! Where are you, nimrod; it's wedgie time!Aw, nut bunnies.I forgot about Duncan.'Scuse me.[opens door]YOU!! MOM, IT'S HIM! IT'S THE BIG BLUE GUY! I WASN'T KIDDI-Hey there, champ! Let's roughhouse!![Relax-o-Visioncuts in for a moment until we return to Duncan hanging upside-down from a rotating ceiling fan in his polka-dot underpants]Sorry. Where was I?Heroes Love Dogs: I briefly had aCanine CompanionI rescued from a dog catcher and named Foamy The Freakadog, and he was just the cutest, bravest, most heroic dog EVER!! Sadly, he wasnt really cut out for superheroics, so I had to bring our partnership to an end. *turns around, revealing a vicious, drooling dog in a Freakazoid costume biting his butt* Too bad it had to be mine.Intergenerational Friendship: Cosgrove! He's super old, but he's a great confidante and he taught me how to fly a plane!Oh yeah, and Roddy MacStew. He's my mentor. He's really ill-tempered and Scottish and one time he taught me to move a brick with my brain.The Jeeves: Ingmar, my mute butler! He was great, he built my whole Freakalair from scratch, but he quit to pursue his dream career as a rodeo clown. He was replaced byServile SnarkerProfessor Jones, and man, that guy is weird. Also, wasnt he ona TV show with a robot?Keet: I'm very in touch with my inner child. As a matter of fact we're due for a conversation today at 6.Kid Sidekick: Alas, Expendable Lad, we hardly knew ye.Large Ham: No thanks! Dexter's mom has poppers on tonight. Otherwise I'd be like \"HEY! Who wants some pot roast and cola?!\"Loony Fan: Fanboy, bless his chubby little heart! He was harder to get rid of than a Tex Avery cartoon character, I had to finally pawn him off onMark Hamillto get some peace and quiet.Male Gaze: Hula girls!Non-Human Sidekick: My first sidekick, Handman! So what if he was just a face I drew on my hand, he was a great sidekick! But he had to leave after he married my other hand and settled down as a family man.Psycho Sidekick: HEY!! Foamy was NOT psycho! He just had a bit of a temper problem! And possibly rabies!Talkative Loon: Why say anything in few words?With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: Sorry, what? I was shaving a picture of Andy Griffith into this cat.Are we all clear? Whew. Okay, we're all clear. Okay, now hit the red button.NO!! NOT THAT RED BUTTON!!![alarm goes off]"}
{"text": "Me Grimlock badass!(For best effect, read like Gregg Berger, whoever that is! Khary Payton, David Kaye, or Ryan Andes also acceptable!)ME, GRIMLOCK!Jet robotdumb,other dino robotweak, butbugbotmake me, Grimlock laugh! Me, Grimlock king! Me, Grimlock make best page ever! Me fromgreat cartoonandgreat comic! Me, Grimlock am Dinobot leader! Much stronger than Optimus Prime! Me turn into dinosaur! Youlove Grimlock! Which is why Grimlock make own page! As soon as Grimlock figure out how to use Internet. But it no matter! If dumb and weak bot could, so could Me, Grimlock! Now... how do Grimlock write something?USE THE KEYBOARD YOU BUFFOON!!!! Must I do everything MYSELF?!Me Grimlock describe Me Grimlock like so:Animal Mecha: Most Autobots turn into cars and trucks. Me Grimlock turn intoTyrannosaurus rex!Anti-Hero: Me, Grimlock no like working with others! Grimlock prefer to fight with Dinobots alone! But me am Autobot...most of time.Asskicking Leads to Leadership: Me, Grimlock kick butt, so Me, Grimlock Dinobot leader! This also one of the reasons me, Grimlock become general Autobot leader when Optimus is scrapped. Me, Grimlock toughest Autobot of all, so me, Grimlockmakeother Autobots follow orders, or else!Bad Boss: Me, Grimlockno bad boss! Grimlock just make others follow Grimlock's lead, that all! Besides, that scrapheap Blaster deserved to be put onvariable voltage harnessfor failing to reclaim Ratchet's tools! He should've killed those humans who stole it! And Me, Grimlock would get another one for his crony Goldbug! Traitors deserve no mercy!Badass Boast: Me, Grimlock no bozo! Me, king!Behemoth Battle: Second trailer for video game have Me Grimlock fightingBruticus. Transformers all big, but us are biggest... aside fromMetroplex.The Big Guy: Me, Grimlock biggest of Autobots! Which means me, Grimlock lead!Blood Knight: Me, Grimlock and all Dinobots love nothing more than smashing and ripping Decepticons to scrap!Breakout Character: Me, Grimlock becamefan-favorite! Optimus Prime may think he leader, but fans want ME, Grimlock more than Prime! Even yellow bot, who gotown movie, is less popular than Grimlock! Andyou think yellow bot get too much attention!Breath Weapon: Fire from Dinobots... good! Fire from Dinobots aimed at Decepticons... bad!Bully Hunter: Me, Grimlock not have much use or respect for anyone who weak, including most humans. That said, only thing me, Grimlock hate more than weaklings is bullies who pick on weaklings! Me, Grimlock love to make bullies see how they do against someone who can actually fight back!Combining Mecha: Dinobots formVolcanicus!There was one other, but Me, Grimlock prefer tonot to talk about that one.Cool Sword: Me, Grimlock uses big fire sword! It powerful, like Grimlock!Death Is Cheap:Jet robotkill Me, Grimlock! But Me, Grimlock come back! Nothing stops Grimlock! Me king!Depending on the Writer: Am Me GrimlockObfuscating Stupidityor really stupid? All depends on version, some not even talk way you see on page.Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Me, Grimlock defeated Tornedron! Me, Grimlock save the universe! Me, Grimlock even hurtUnicron!Difficult, but Awesome: Inaction video game, Me Grimlock slowest Autobot and style all about fighting up close. But use me right and me Grimlock destroy all Decepticons! Unique fighting style make me Grimlock fan favorite in game, fans love using special grapples to smash Decepticons.Dumb Dinos:Dinobots not dumb! Dinobots strong! Dinobots, rule!Dumb Muscle: Why you think Dinobots dumb?! We stronger than any robot! Strength is better!Fatal Flaw: Fine, but Me, Grimlock admit that temper gets Grimlock into trouble.Flanderization: WhoFlanders? Me, Grimlock still me, Grimlock! Just more helpful!\"Flowers for Algernon\" Syndrome: Who Algernon? *bzzt*Ahh, So my boosted intelligence has returned albeit briefly so I have to explain this trope while I, Grimlock still can. Rodimus Prime and his team unveiling a new generator that will better supply them with power while my less-enlightened self bungled around the switches and was struck by an energy burst. I, Grimlock was given a major intelligence boost and eloquent speech. I, Grimlock was able to solve problems that even Perceptor had great difficulty with. Alas, the boost came at expense of alienating my fellow Dinobots and when Galvatron unleashed Abominus on the Autobots, I, Grimlock created the Technobots as a countermeasure but in order to bring out their full potential, I, Grimlock sacrificed my intelligence reverting back to my previous self. It's happening again but before I go, promise my previous self to protect those colorful creatures while they're on Cybertron. It's just as dangerous as their own homeworld, if not more so.*bzzt* What happened? And why me, Grimlock want to smell flowers?Gentle Giant: Don't tell Autobots, but me, Grimlock no want to hurt weaker beings. Only those who misuse strength must be hurt! There wasstoryabout me Grimlock meeting tiny dragon named Spike. Spike great warrior! Me, Grimlock... great warrior against most everyone. Except Devastator. New story has Shockwave bring not only Spike's pony friends to Cybertron, but ancient evil as well. Dumb move even for Shockwave. Me, Grimlock will help ponies survive Cybertron 'til Autobots make new space bridge to get them back home.Grievous Harm with a Body:Shooting gamenot let me Grimlock use guns, but no need them because Grimlock am so big and strong can just pick up tiny Decepticons and throw them. Decepticons die instantly when thrown, and thing they hit dies instantly to.Heel\u2013Face Revolving Door: Me, Grimlock no need doors! If Me, Grimlock not want to help, then Grimlock no help! Unless Grimlock feels like helping.Hidden Depths: Me, Grimlockcouldtalk normal, but no choose to. It make enemies underestimate Me, Grimlock!Hulk Speak: Me, Grimlock talk liketheTrope Namer! But Grimlock stronger than Hulk!I'm a Humanitarian: Do Dinobots eat humans? No...but we happily eat Decepticons!Irrational Hatred: Why do Me, Grimlock hate Optimus Prime? Grimlock clearly stronger, hence Me, Grimlock should rule!Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Me, Grimlock no like anyone who weaker than me! But Grimlock no want friends hurt. AndponiesthatMe, Grimlock helped one timegood people.Kill It with Fire: Fire am Grimlock's choice of making Decepticons flee!Mighty Glacier: Me Grimlock not known for speed, but am very strong, strongest Autobot!... That not superbig at least.Multiple-Choice Past: Did Me, Grimlockget built on Earth, orcome from Cybertron? Science-bot say theremany options! Who care! Me, Grimlock always Grimlock!Obfuscating Stupidity: Me, Grimlock no talk normal to make Decepticons think me dumb! They pay for it!Odd Friendship: Me, Grimlock get along with tiny human Daniel andrhyming robotWheelie. They good friends, even though Me, Grimlock no liked Wheelie at first. You nolike them though.Odd Name Out: Me, Grimlock only Dinobot without \"S\" in name. Who care? Me, Grimlock Dinobot leader! Me strongest!Saved by Canon: Story calledSecrets and Liessaw Dinobots turned off. You know this not how it end, since itbefore full story!Shapeshifter Default Form: Dinobots prefer dino modes!Super Mode:Shooting gamenot let me Grimlock transform normally because Shockwave rebuild and rewrite circuitry to not allow it. But when me Grimlock get angry enough, done by hitting lets of enemies, me unlock Dino Mode ability. Me Grimlock already much stronger than other Autobots but as robot dinosaur am invincible! Attacks have lots more reach and do more damage, everything in reach of tail is\"Instant Death\" Radius. Things that immune to normal attacks me Grimlock can break like toys and can useexecutionson Decepticons normally immune to it. And also haveBreath Weapon, use it and Decepticons run away scarred. Only reason not use whole time is because it not last forever.Sword and Gun: Me, Grimlock use sword as weapon! It powerful!Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Grimlock no like Autobots! But... Decepticons worse. So Me, Grimlock work with them. For now...Took a Level in Dumbass: Me, Grimlock no stupid! Me, king!Toxic Friend Influence: Dinobots not bad for Me, Grimlock! Dinobots answer to Grimlock!Videogame Cruelty Potential: Big part of fun of playing as Me Grimlock ingreat shooting gameis beinggiant Autobotand killing Decepticons in most violent ways. Me Grimlock useOne-Hit Killto destroy enemies in ways like ingame series with killer karate humansand in Dino Mode,Breath Weaponmakes enemies run away scared! After me Grimlock break out, first few Decepticons run away scarred or crouch down to scarred to fight back.What Have I Become?: Me, Grimlock not originally pleased by Shockwave turning me into giant biting lizard inShooting game. Other Dinobots help me, Grimlock adjust to changes, and me, Grimlock soon realize benefits of new dino-form!Me:There, now you know all about me Grimlock\u2014Wheeljack:GRIMLOCK! The Decepticons are pinning us down! We need you!)Starscream:Nah, it's probably those Auto-bums\u2014Me:NO!Wheeljack:No, what?Me:Me Grimlock no go! We Dinobots also NO go!Wheeljack:Errr... why not?!?Me:Errr... me Grimlock don't know why not... so we help... this time.Wheeljack:Thank you. Anyway, we got free 'Cons to bash...?Me:Bash? Me Grimlock like bashing... so ME GRIMLOCK GO OUT TO BASH BRAINS! DINOBOTS, TRANSFORM!!![Transforms and charges out of the room with my team, trampling Starscream on the way out]Starscream:\"Ow... my lateral fixer!"}
{"text": "some caption text
\"Nooroo, Dark Wings Rise!\"Ah, a wayward soul desperate for answers with a personality they can trust. What delectable prey for my akuma.Fly away my evil akuma, and evilize them!Troper, I am Hawk Moth.I grant you the powerto edit my page, learn all you wish to learn, add pictures and upload videos. All I ask for is Ladybug and Cat Noir's miraculous! Do we have a deal?Animal-Themed Superbeing: My butterflies are the agents of chaos that metamorphose into the villains that shall bring about Ladybug and Cat Noir's doom!Antagonist Abilities: Go forth, Troper. Reign chaos with the power I have granted you. If either of those do-gooders defeat you, I'll just find another until I finally win!Barefisted Monk: As you've already witnessed on Heroes' Day, I'm just as capable of handling those upstart heroes, Ladybug and Cat Noir, with my own two hands than with my cane.Berserk Button: Troper, what are you doing?! I gave you these powers so that you can get me my miraculous! If you don't knock it off and return to the task at hand,then I'll remove your powers!Card-Carrying Villain: One of these days Ladybug and Cat Noir, your hero days will be numbered and I shall reign supreme!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Dub Name Change: The other name I go by, Le Papillon, or \"The Butterfly\", admittedly doesn't sound as threatening in English.The Empath: Ah, such raw anger and frustration. Perfect prey for my akuma.Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Say what you want about mymethodsTroper, but everything I've done, I've done for the sake of my poor wife. And despite my seemingly cold exterior, I love my son, and bringing his mother back is just as much for his sake as it is for mine.Good Powers, Bad People: If the butterfly miraculous can do great things by making superheroes, what would happen if it were used to make supervillains?Never My Fault: It was all that meddling fool Ladybug's fault! I wassoclose to getting that USB drive that would have restored my beloved Emilie... but she tricked me! Tempted me with her miraculous box and got me to chase after her! Nathalie even walked out on me... all because ofher!!!Omnicidal Maniac: It'll mean thetotal destruction of our universe, you say? Oh, please. As if something likethatwill give me even a moment's pause in getting my wish. You should honestly know by now Troper, there's no price I'm not willing to pay to get my wife back.Pungeon Master: Go forth, Troper. Use yourGenre SavvyandcodifyLadybug and Cat Noir's doom. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Surrounded by Idiots: No, no, no! The earrings, Troper. The earrings! I can't get Ladybug and Cat Noir's miraculous in this state!Well-Intentioned Extremist: Someday, Ladybug and Cat Noir. Someday Iwillget your Miraculous. Iwillget my wish, and Emiliewillbe returned to me!When You Coming Home, Dad?: *sigh* Having a high demanding job as a fashion designer while moonlighting as a supervillain doesn't give me much time to spend with my son and it has clearly taken a toll on my relationship with him. But Adrien, after I've achieved victory over Ladybug and Cat Noir, I\u2014no, me and your mother will make it up to you.Alternative Title(s):Miraculous Ladybug Hawk Moth"}
{"text": "Ugh. It's about time I have my own TV Tropes page. I'm pretty much the main star of the show! Not Chris McLame or any of those other dweebs you may like more than me. ME! Ahem, I'm getting ahead of myself so I'll try to explain myself better to you idiots.noteChris: Sure.You'rethe main star. Whatever you say Heather.If for some reason in this dumb world you didn't know, my name is Heather, THE Queen Bee, and I am a major player of theTotal Dramaseries. I'm the strongest, smartest, most athletic member of my team, the Screaming Gophers. I didn't come up with the name by the way. That's all Chris. Stupid name I know. Anyway, as soon as I got to that island, I made itclearto everyone I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to take names and win that prize money for myself! I don't care what I needed to do in order to achieve my goals. Of course, being mean out in the person has its disadvantages so I picked the two dumbest characters I could find to be in my alliance. In this case, it was Lindsidiot and Beth. I promise to take those two to the final 3 if they helped me out and I wasn't lying. For the most part. When push came to shove, I'll ditch them in order to save my own butt! Throughout my stay on the island, I came to hate pretty mucheveryoneon the island, ESPECIALLYGwen and Leshawna! Those two... UGH!!! I can't tell you the amount of times when those two annoyed me or even attacked me throughout our stay on the dumb island! Leshawna may have gotten eliminated at one point but it wasn't bymyhands! And Gwen made it to the final two! Heh, it was satisfying ruining Gwen and Trent's relationship. For the most part. They got back to together... only to break up the very next season. But it wasIwho sent in that motion for their eventual permanent breakup in the first place, so I win! I'm getting off topic but thanks to my skills, I made it to the final 3 of course. Unfortunately for me, I was on the receiving end of a lot of disgusting and humiliating dares courtesy of Owen and Gwen and it lead to me being eliminated after GETTING MY HAIR SHAVED!!! Chris that sadistic jerk made me leave the island due to a technicality and I threatened to sue him! I never managed to do it but I was able to come back to the island for a chance at one million dollars. Of course I took the opportunity at that but it lead nowhere except season two:Total Drama Action.Ugh... this season I'm surenobodyliked anyway but it was arguably my worst season. I was still bald and everyone knew not to even trust me. It didn't help that my hair loss caused me to go, how to put it, insane. When Courtney sued her way back to the show, I spent most of my time trying to get herbeautifulhair... AH! Ignore that! I'm not crazy! AHEM! I was eliminated so early in that season so why am I even bothering to go into detail of this season? I wasn't the main star nor I had any focus! BETH of all people did!Now,Total Drama: World Tourwas the third season and it was safe to say that I came back with a vengeance! My hair finally grew back and I decided to focus more on playing the game rather than manipulate people (though I did tried with newcomer Sierra since she was such a Chris fangirl). That season would've probably been easy for me if not for one person: Alejandro... Out of ALL the people I've came across, he is thebiggestchallenge I've had in a long time. Unlike me who doesn't care about being mean in the open, Alejandro keeps it to himself being able to manipulate, well,everyone that isn't me!And NO! I do NOT have a crush on him! STOP SAYING THAT OR I'LL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!!! Phew. Anyway, as I said, my performance during this season overall was top notch if I do say so myself. I even made it to the final 2 and WON at the end! This is how it should be of course and even you people cheered for me over the more, ahem, lesser evil character Alejandro. Unfortunately, that feral sexist punk Ezekiel stole my money and landed in the volcano! My well earned money! GONE! UGH!!! I HATE this stupid show which is why I wonder I came back! That's why in the next season,Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, I made a big cameo in an episode where I took my well-deserved money and attempted to make off in Chris' zeppelin. I would've succeeded if not for one of those newbie losers.And I made my final appearance (so far as far as I know...) inTotal Drama: All-Starswith a slightly bigger role than inActionI guess. I was placed on the Villainous Vultures team and became its leader of course. Unfortunately, Ms. Tries-Too-Hard-To-Be-Like-Me Jo kept trying to challenge me for leadership which eventually lead to her being eliminated! Yes! However, Alejandro returned as well and just as big of a thorn in my side as always. Later, not only he stole my immunity model he got me eliminated from the island! THAT JERK! However, it was a clever move by him and when he got eliminated, I decided to pick him up from his icy doom and, well, we started to go out! \"Hah! I knew it! Heather had a thing for Alejandro all along! It was so obvious! Huh duh!!!\" is what you're thinking right? Well, shut up. We may be dating but money always comes first. And that was the last of me of the series... at least for now I guess... Not that I would even come back!Well, I've spoken too soon. Looks likeTotal Dramahas been renewed for 2 more seasons. UGH! Well, on the bright side, maybe I could win again and actually KEEP the money this time!Tropes that apply to me, the Queen Bee!Action Girl: Of course. Winning is everything even if I must do either degrading or disgusting things!Alpha Bitch: Um, DUH! When youknowyou're the best andeveryoneknows you are, you deserve to act this way!Anti-Hero: As if I'm a \"hero\" in anyway but IguessI'm this inWorld Tourtoo the much LESSER evil-than-me Alejandro. I'll admit I'm more of a team player while Al isn't afraid to sabotage his own team if anyone else feels threatening to him.Arch-Enemy:Everyonein this stupid show honestly but if I can name my top 3: Gwen, Leshawna, and Alejandro. InIsland, Gwen and Leshawna have been an utter thorn in my side since day one! Gwen is just a weird goth girl who thinks she's better than everyone, and Leshawna always gets physical with me just because she's physically stronger than me! Of course it's because when you have that much junk in your trunk, the rest had to go somewhere. And Alejandro was this definitely forWorld Tour; he was the most threatening person I had to deal with in my life. I didn't help that he painted himself as this \"nice guy\" toward everyone while my history on the show made everyone not trust me!Attention Whore: Um, yeah! Hello!I'mthe reason you watch the showBad Boss: So what if my treatment of Lindsay and Beth inIslandwas borderline criminal.Theywanted to make it to the final 3 with me so, naturally, they had to do whatever I say! This includes always siding with me with votes, never questioning my actions, and allowing me to use their stuff whenever I want and they can't use mine in return. It's fair! Too bad Beth and later Lindsay didn't think so...Beauty Is Bad: I'm beautiful and I'm bad! DUH!Belligerent Sexual Tension: Shut up! Me and Alejandro had NOTHING going on! At first at least...Big Bad:Themain threat ofIslandand arguably the best one of them all!Bitch Alert: Heh. Unlike those other antagonists, I made no attempt to hide my evilness. As soon as I arrived on that dump of an island, I gaveDeath Glareto everyone there to let them know I, mean, business! My glorious face even provides the trope image! You're welcome!Break the Haughty: Hmph. I don't know what you mean. I guess after my humiliating defeat of the first season, I decided to become more of a team player afterwards.Butt-Monkey: Ugh...don't get me started with \"I Triple Dog Dare You\" and pretty much ALL ofTotal Drama Action...Can't Get Away with Nuthin': Don't get me started... I guess being theBig Bad,Jerkass,Hate Sinkof the season means I get hit with some sort of abuse or humiliation! Mostly from Gwen and Leshawna.Can't Take Criticism: I don't know what you're talking about. I cantotallytake criticism. Just not if it's something bad about me or what I do.Card-Carrying Villain: IknowI am evil. IknowI am manipulative. And I certainlyknowI'm a major player in this game!Character Development: Hah! As if! I've been my same ol' self since day 1! Well, I guess byWorld Tour, I focused on more being a team player and not trying to sabotaging friendships/relationships to get myself further. Especially with Alejandro doing all of that during that season...The Chew Toy: Ugh... I thought I explained this inButt-Monkeyalready. Don't make me repeat myself!Chronic Back Stabbing Disorder: Alliances are basically like day old milk. It's good for a little while but once it spoils, you toss it out! And that's what I've always done with my alliances! Yes, no one dare to trust me anymore after that but let me ask you:Whoeven trustmein the first place?Clingy Jealous Girl: I am NOT clingy for Alejandro! But I will NOT let Courtney have him!Crocodile Tears: I pulled this three times:Once inIslandduring my glorious plan to break up Gwen and Trent.Second inWorld Tourwhere Alejandro feel for my ploy and manage to take the win from him!And third inRevenge of the Islandwhere I got that stupid jock that likes to says his own name a lot to drop his guard to take off withMYprize money!Curse Cut Short: I almost called Courtney a \"you know what\" after she kept annoyingly stating how she was a \"C.I.T\"... but Gwen cut me off before I could finish but I'm sure you peopleget what I meant.Me: More like a B-I-T-C-.Deadpan Snarker: What the kind of people you're around all the time, you need to be this.Death Glare: I have this look 24/7 because there is nothing to be happy about all the time. I'm the best and I must focus on looking the best.Defrosting Ice Queen: Why must you insist I'm not as mean as before? I mean, yeah byWorld Tour, I became alittlemore caring but not by much! Seriously, it's like you're trying to see the good in me when it's clear I don't want to be good!Determinator: I was close to the million dollars at the end ofWorld Tour! I had to keep pushing myself to win it!Even Bad Women Love Their Mamas: My mom is the only person I actuallylike. When I thought I was going to die in a stupid stunt inAction, I was going to leave all of my possessions to her and none of my sisters. They don't deserve ANYTHING!Even Evil Has Standards: Yes, I 'll do anything it takes to win. Break up relationships, cheat, sabotaging others, the works. However, there are things even I won't stoop to such as, I don't know,killingthe other contestants. Chris the Creep has no morals at all for whenever someone dies and even that disgusts me.Let's just say that Alejandro's plan to eliminate Duncan inWorld Tourwas... surprising...Me:(confessional)Even I'm notthatruthless!Everyone Can See It:SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!Seriously, stop saying me and Alejandro are a thing! We are not! ... At first at least...Evil Is Hammy: Oh shut it. I'm evil and I know it! I can be as open as I can be about it!Evil Is Petty: What? Even at times where we supposed to be winning a challenge, if you've insulted/mess with me at any time, Iwillmake you pay. Just ask Gwen after I exposed her butt to the world in the middle of a challenge!Ex-Big Bad: I could've easily beentheBig Badof the whole series but, sadly, that couldn't been always the case.Hated by All: Listen here. I made itveryclear I didn't came to the island to make friends or be nice. I came here to do only one thing: Win! And I don't care if you like me, hate me, want to be my best friend, or want to beat me up. I will crush all of those who get in my way!Hate Sink:Wow, really? I'm sure after reading my whole page to this point, you think I'm the most sincere and nicest person in the series! You're such a genius!HAH! I could care less if any of those losers or you people for the matter care about me. I'm only in that show to make money and nothing more.Hazy-Feel Turn: This is more like it! I didnotturn into the \"good guy\" ofWorld Tourbut even I have to admit that Alejandro was a threat. Mainly because he kept his evilness a secret.Heroic Resolve:Fine! I'll say it. In \"Hawaiian Punch\" when it seem I lost to Alejandro and Cody told me I was the \"good guy\", I burst out of the cage in hopes of beating him which Ididin thecanon ending! But don't get used to it. That was the closest time to me being a \"good guy\" and I'm never going back!Hoist by Her Own Petard: Remember how I threatened to shave Lindsay's head if she should ever betray my alliance again? I should've chosen my words more carefully, because that's exactly how I went down! Stupid Chris and his stupid rules!Humiliation Conga: UGH! The episode \"I Triple Dog Dare You!\" was just one bigLaser-Guided Karmafor me for all the stuff I done to others inIcy Gray Eyes: Enough to make you quiver in fear and obey my every command!I'm Not Here to Make Friends: Duh! I've been saying this a lot on this page now! I'm here towin! Not make friends! Making allies then ditching them later, yes.Important Haircut: How is itimportant\"!? Fine! My hair being shaved marked my defeat inIsland'' and my last time being in theBig Badspotlight.In-Series Nickname: I'm getting real tired of people calling me by \"Old Heather...\"It's All About Me: \"I'm valuable!\" 'Nuff said.Jerkass:laughing evillyMost obvious trope ever!Jerkass to One: No, I\u2019m like that with almost everyone. But my relationship with Weird Goth Girl? With everyone else, that\u2019s just how I am. With her,It's Personal.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Only afterIsland. Thankfully averted starting inRevenge of the Islandand intoAll-Stars.Karmic Butt-Monkey: Seriously?! You just combined two separate tropes together just to make me miserable.Laser-Guided Karma: The Karma Bug must have been common on that stupid island because I kept getting bit by it every. Single. TIME! I guess it could be worse; at least I didn\u2019t get screwed over as bad as Alejandro or Scott. Personally, I blame Chris; if he didn\u2019t think danger was so good for ratings, the show wouldn\u2019t have so many injuries.Lean and Mean: The body of a supermodel, the personality of the devil!Light Feminine and Dark Feminine: Dark to Lindsidiot's Light.Malicious Misnaming: If you annoy me, youwillreceive this.For Lindsay, it's \"Lindsiot\".For obvious reasons.For Gwen it, \"Weird Goth Girl\".And I mainly call Izzy \"Psycho Hose Beast\" but also \"Crazy Girl\". And yes, she isthatcrazy and insane!Manipulative Bitch: Indeed I am! Despite by open evilness, I am able to stay in the game by manipulating others to becoming pawns in my game!Me:In this world,there are shepherds and there are sheep, and Lindsay is amajorsheep. Baaaaaah!Ms. Fanservice: Of course! I have the body of a supermodel and I'm not afraid to show off most of my body. However, I guess I should've worn more clothing or a random branch could rip off my shirt and show my breasts to the freaking world!Not Me This Time: No Duncan. I didn't cause Courtney's elimination inIsland. I don't know what was his deal as the guy (Harold) who he kept picking on over and over was clearly to blame.noteChris: Oh and who was the one who took your immunity idol inAll-Stars? Was it me as you kept saying? No! Alejandro! You even told him that you found it! And you used to be soooooo smart!noteMe: SHUT UP CHRIS!!!Only Sane Woman: YES!!! I'm theonlyperson on that stupid show with her head on straight.Pet the Dog: Hey, Iamcapable of being nice toward others when I feel like it!InIsland, DJ thought I was the killer and I tried to calm him down to no avail. Then, when he was eliminated from the island, I actually join in a group hug before he left. I'll admit, DJ was probably theonlyother person I didn't have a bad thought about. He was just that nice I guess.InAction, everyone was showing Leshawna some hostility after she deceived everyone and even said bad things about them. I defended her because she was just saying what was on her mind which is something I doall the time! I ended up being eliminated later and Leshawna actually said I could consider her a friend. It was actually nice to hear that especially since Leshawna was one of my main enemies and I gave her my wig to remember her by. It didn't last long however, as I am about to explain...Wow, I've donetoo much of thisinWorld Tour. Trying to warn my supposed-to-be-my-friend Leshawna about Alejandro, confronting Courtney after finding out Duncan cheated on her, and even giving Sierra a wig after she accidentally blew up Chris' plane. But for the last one, after what I've been through inAction,no girlshould go around with a bald head.Plot Armor: I've constantly been accused of this inIsland. Because of my open, ahem, \"bitchiness\", there were a lot of times where I was almost eliminated. However, thanks to my cunning and being a general great player of the game, I was able to win immunity each time and save myself!Pragmatic Villainy: Listen, I am the villain and I certainlylovebeing it! However, I will never screw over my own team. Winning is for winners like me and losing is for losers like Alejandro!Rich Bitch: My family's rich and I'm mean of course.Schemer: This is kinda the point of being a manipulative jerk...Small Name, Big Ego: This trope is adverted. You all think I'm all talk and that I rely too much on alliances to make it farther into the game. However, Iamgood in challenges with a combination of my own skill and cunning!Statuesque Stunner: I am like, REALLY tall, and REALLY hot.Surrounded by Idiots: As the only sane character in the show, this happens too much for my liking...There Are Two Kinds of People in the World: Shepherds and sheep, as said by moi!Token Evil Teammate: Ofanyteam I am on. Played with on the Villainous Vultures where, despite being on a team with other villains (including Gwen and yes she stole Courtney's boyfriend which makes her one), I am definitely the most evil of them all!Took a Level in Kindness:I don't know what you're taking about. I have been always the same jerk throughout the series as I've always been! Ugh! Fine! DuringWorld Tour, I became more of a team player and even offered my assistance to others at times while Alejandro was busy manipulating people and taking down Team Not-So-Victory.However, in theAll-Starsepisode \"Moon Madness,\" I pretended to act all cuddly and nice in order to throw off Alejandro. And it worked oh so well!Trash Talk: Of course. Anyone is a target of this. Especially Gwen and Leshawna.Traumatic Haircut: This makes more sense.No girldeserves to be on national television with a badly shaved head, and I am definitely that kind of girl!Tsundere: Ugh! Enough of me acting lovey-lovey toward Alejandro.Unholy Matrimony: Shut...up....Villainous Breakdown: When I wasvery unfairlyeliminated inIsland, I let out a scream that could be heard across the lake and I went off on Chris threatening to sue him. I would've too but Courtney beat me to the punch...noteChris:Unfairlyyou say? Not my fault you got outplayed Heather!Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: S-Sumo wrestlers...Will They or Won't They?: FINE! Me and Alejandro became anOfficial Coupleas of the end ofAll-Starsbut that doesn't mean we don't get to not competitive against each other!You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Thanks for getting me so far in the game Lindsay, but your services were no longer required!"}
{"text": "\"Ice Bear judges you.\"(This page should be read in the voice ofDemetri Martinor in a very monotone and deadpan voice)Ice Bear welcomes you.Ice Bear has many things to say.Ice Bear lives in San Francisco Bay Area with Grizzly and Panda.Ice Bear would like you to read about him.Ice Bear has too many tropes:Animals Not to Scale: Ice Bear can be tall as human... only when standing.Awesome, but Impractical: Ice Bear has basketball tricks... but Ice Bear also needs work on shooting ball.Ax-Crazy: Only if Ice Bear drinks coffee.Badass Adorable: Ice Bear may be cuddly polar bear but Ice Bear also deadly polar bear.Beary Friendly: Ice Bear means well and tries best to get along.Beary Funny: And Ice Bear also hilarious.Beige Prose: Ice Bear doesn't embellish.Berserk Button: Ice Bear warns you not to mess with Ice Bear's cooking. (Death Glareand wields axe) Ice Bear will make you regret it.Beware the Nice Ones: Ice Bear is nice as long as you are nice back. Or Ice Bear will turn nice toice.Beware the Quiet Ones: Ice Bear may be quiet... but Ice Bear also has axe.Big Brother Instinct: Don't mess with Ice Bear's brothers.Big Little Brother: Ice Bear is biggest of brothers... but also youngest.Big Eater: Grizzly may be reigning champ, but Ice Bear sometimes qualifies.Black Bead Eyes: Ice Bear could easily fit inAdventure Time.Sphere Eyes: Ice Bear's eyes grow big at times.Civilized Animal: Ice Bear lives in cave with phone, computer, and fridge. Ice Bear is not animal... metaphorically speaking.Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Nobody understand Ice Bear behavior.The Comically Serious: Ice Bear mostly deadpan.Cunning Linguist: Ice Bear speaks Korean. And Japanese. And Russian.And Pigeon.Cuteness Proximity: Ice Bear has soft spot for seals. A shameIce Bears also eat them in wild.Deadpan Snarker: Ice Bear always at hand to make snappy one-liner.Death Glare: Ice Bear will shoot you one if food is ruined.Dull Surprise: Ice Bear shows little fear.Early-Installment Weirdness: Ice Bear used to talk a lot morein the original comics.Faster Than They Look: Ice Bear's size means nothing. Ice Bear has ninja moves.Fingerless Hands: Ice Bear has stubby paws.Full-Name Basis: Ice Bear always called full name byIce Bear.Food as Bribe: Chloe lampshades in presentation. Ice Bear main motivation's free food.Funny Background Event: Ice Bear usually off being odd in background.Hidden Depths: Ice Bear is true renaissance bear, at basketball, cooking, ribbon dance, and more.Mad Scientist: Ice Bear hassome issueswith robots.Mother Russia Makes You Strong: Ice Bear is from and learned everything in Siberia.Must Have Caffeine:No. Ice Bear sticks to decafforareason.Ninja:Check Ice Bear's resume.Not So Stoic: Ice Bear is stoic and monotone, but Ice Bear still know to have fun. Proves Ice Bear not entirely unemotional.Ice Bear once flustered into mini-tantrum when food truck fails.Parental Abandonment: Ice Bear... lost mother to poachers... (sniffs) And Ice Bear also lost...Yuri. (sheds tear)The Quiet One: ...Real Men Wear Pink: Ice Bear likes dancing. Also knitting and weapons.Red Oni, Blue Oni: Grizzly is red, Ice Bear is blue.Renaissance Bear: Ice Bear is professional chef, ribbon dancer, bird talker, martial artist, list goes on.Ridiculously Cute Critter: Ice Bear is cute. Even more so when Ice Bear was cub.The Spock: Ice Bear prefers logic.The Stoic: Ice Bear not very emotional.Stout Strength: Ice Bear has no trouble with weight. Ice Bear always drive bottom tier.Supreme Chef: Ice Bear is excellent chef and only one to cook for brothers.Talking Animal: Ice Bear not fan of talking though.Third-Person Person: Ice Bear is Ice Bear.Trademark Favorite Food: Ice Bear likes fish.Tranquil Fury: If Ice Bear ever angry, expect this.The Unsmile: Cup cake...Vocal Dissonance: Ice Bear has deepest voice of three brothers despite being youngest.When He Smiles: Ice Bear is adorable with smile.Younger Than They Look: Despite Ice Bear beingtallest, more responsible, andhas deepest voice, Ice Bear actually youngest.#IceBearForPresident"}
{"text": "Weep, Earthlings! Weep in despair as you behold the awe-inspiring visage of ZIIIIIM!!You may kneel in deference at your leisure.\"\"Come, GIR. Let us rain some doom down upon the heads of our doomed enemies.\"\u2014ZIM'smany words of Irken wisdom.Hello, puny Earth-creatures. ZIM heard about several lesserNickelodeoncharacters getting pages on this \"TV Tro-pes\" thing, likethat cranky squid-thing who reminds ZIM of one of his old experimentsandthat Nhar-Gh'ok worm baby, so ZIM decided that this site needs more ZIM!Today, you have the honor of meeting ZIM, who happens to be a perfectly normal human worm baby who goes to a perfectly normal human skool and lives a perfectly normal human life. Don't believe theDib-stink'sFILTHY LIES, because he's aFILTHY LIAR WHO LIES!What, you want to hear how ZIM became as awesome and cool as he is now? Very well, Earthling, BOW DOWN and... err... enjoy my awesome story of PIGGIES andDOOM! (How I love that word...)It all started one fateful day. Our undisputed rulers, the Almighty Tallest had just sent out a call for the entire Irken armada to prepare for Operation Impending DOOM II, but they accidentally forgot to invite me to the party!Sure, they said ZIM was technically banished to Foodcourtia (which ZIM still doesn't get - I made those fires BETTER!), but since they were making a big mistake, ZIM borrowed a spaceship and crashed their meeting anyways. OBVIOUSLY, the Tallest were just so impressed by ZIM's invading skills and Irken determination that they assigned ZIM to this super secret backwater planet called Earth. They even gave ZIM his own custom-built SIR unit! (GIR: Ooohh, THEY GOT TROPES ABOUT PIGGIES HERE! HI PIGGIES! Zim: GIR, go spy on the Dib-Stink or something! GIR:Yes, sir!)From there, ZIM and his new robot assistant landed on Earth, where we got new disguises that enabled us to FLAWLESSLY infiltrate this stupid hyoo-man society. All were fooled, except for one annoying human worm baby who just won't leave ZIM ALONE by the name of DIB!But no matter. Soon ZIM will have conquered this giant mudball and all of you puny Earthlings, becausean invader never stops until their mission is complete.Still, not all Earth-creatures are bad. These hoo-mans atNickelodeonadapted my adventures into this thing called an cartoon. Apparently GIR really loves them for some reason. (GIR: I love this show.)But then those stupid suit-guys ended my show early! When I finally take over Earth, those guys are going to get thePLUNGER OF DOOMto the... errr... I'll think of somewhere when I get there. AND IT WILL BE PAINFUL!And since you puny Earthlings just couldn't get enough of ZIM's fabulous Irkenhamminess, those stupid hoo-mans at Nickelodeon put ZIM's beautiful face on plenty of merch (including a\"video game\"where I team up with thatidiotic sponge,the kid and those flying creatures, andthat ghost boy), and, after realising what a mistake they made in ending ZIM's show early, gave me this\"comic book\" seriesand, after ZIM spent numerous Earth years laughing in a toilet, put my new plan into action. ALL HAIL THEFLORPUS OF DOOM! Oh, and if you want to make sure you hear this \"Self Demonstrating\" page in my hammy voice in its FULL GLORY, read it in the voice of thehoo-manwho (I can't believe that I am saying this) did a terrific job at voicing me! Or thatother hoo-manwho voiced me before him.Tropes that apply to the MIGHTY ZIM!A.I. Is a Crapshoot: ZIM must admit, when the Tallest bestowed him the honor of a custom SIR unit, ZIM would have expected it to be less of an idiot. And somehow, locking GIR into competence mode just made him MORE useless!Aliens Speaking English: Of course ZIM knows how to speak your primitive Earth language! An Irken invader must know these things if he is to successfully infiltrate civilization.Amusing Alien: What?! You dare laugh at me because you find my antics amusing?! INSOLENT HOO-MAN! You will not find me so amusing once I VAPORIZE YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE CONTINENT!Ax-Crazy: ALL WILL FEAR ZIM AND HIS DOOM! Even the Almighty Tallest are impressed by the volume of my sheer DOOM.Awesome Backpack: My PAK is a masterpiece in Irken engineering! It keeps me alive should anything be dumb enough to try to injure ZIM, has steel legs for advanced mobility and can back up our memories should something damage our fragile brains.Big Bad Wannabe: Who you calling wannabe! ZIM will rule earth and is theBig Bad! I AM THE BIGGEST BAD OF THEM ALL!! (Except for the Almighty Tallest. They are quite large indeed.)Big \"NO!\": This is one of ZIM's catchphrases.Bizarre Alien Biology:MYBIOLOGY BIZARRE?? How dare you!! You humans have no right to judge! Your squishy, pink brains can barely FATHOM the bodily function of the Irken squeedlyspooch!Butt-Monkey: Eh? Me, a monkey's butt? No, no, you must be thinking of the Dib, for he is indeed a primitive Earth monkey who often smells of butt. As for myself, nobody said galactic conquest would be easy, but ZIM will gladly accept any challenge for the glory of the Almighty Tallest! No matter how many indignities he must go through!Clark Kenting: ZIM's human disguise is of ZIM with earth monkey eyes and hair.Determinator: An invader never stops until their mission is complete, and ZIM WILL TAKE OVER EARTH SOMEDAY!Disproportionate Retribution: Making The Dib live an entire satisfying life where he was accepted and lauded as a hero just for thesuspicionof throwing a muffin at Zim's head WAS AN ENTIRERLY REASONABLE AND PROPORTIONATE RESPONSE!!!Doomy Dooms of Doom: Is there a better word out there? (GIR: Imma sing the doom song- Zim: NO!)Doom Magnet: Yes, indeed. Wherever Zim goes, doom follows and befalls those who get in his way! (GIR: Doom doom doom-doom-doom doom-doom- Zim: I SAID NO, GIR!)The Dreaded: My entire race fear their own kind who is ZIM, who will be earths new ruler. They don't hate ZIM.Evil Is Hammy: ZIM does enjoy a nice long speech. It intimidates the... (GIR: HAM? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Zim: Begone with you!)Evil Laugh: Zim has an intimidating one. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (GIR: Heeheeheehee... WEEEEEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!! Zim: COMPUTER, LAUGH WITH US!! Computer: I DON'T WANT TO.)Eye Scream: *sizzling noise* AAUGH!! THE EARTHLINGS HAVE BOOBYTRAPPED THEIR SUN SOMEHOW! DON'T STARE AT IT!!Expy: In the time before the Florpus, the humans have created copies to emulate ZIM!ZIM has two in the forms ofCryptosporidium 136-139 and Orthopox 13-14. The former has ZIM's taste for conquest and destruction to those who oppose him and the latter has ZIM's bombasticness!There was another aspirant who appeared in the form ofearth's felinoids. Sadly his plans were easily thwarted by an Earth boy as well.ZIM, sadly has an inversion withthe crystalline lifeform called Peridot. No self-respecting invader or scout would ever choose the side of rebels, turncoats, and traitors, let alone befriend thehalf-breed offspringof their former rebel leader!Galactic Conqueror: As an Irken invader, it is ZIM's duty to take over planets to appease my leaders.I Do Not Drink Wine: My supreme Irken biology absolutely cannot stand your FIILLLTHYYYY human food! But I still must learn to consume and build a tolerance to it, lest my disguise be compromised. AND KEEP THAT MEAT AWAY FROM ME!Insectoid Aliens: We Irkens seem to bare a slight resemblance to those things you call insects, with our Irken antennae andperfectly normalgreen skin.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Alright, FINE! Maybe ZIM does slightly care for that little robot of his. ZIM did promise GIR the moon, after all. (GIR: It's made of cheese! I LIKE CHEESE!! Zim: Away with you, GIR!)Karmic Butt-Monkey: Again with the monkey's butt? And they added the \"karma\" flavor in. ZIM does not believe in karma!Large Ham: OBVIOUSLY!! NONEGNASH THEIR TEETH UPON THE MISE EN SCENEWITH SUCH HUNGER, NOREXTRACT DAIRY FROM THE UDDERS OF ENORMOUS BOVINESWITH SUCH FEROCITY AS... *deep breath* ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!Mad Scientist: ZIM IS NOT MAD,YOU LIE! But yes, ZIM was one of the Irken Armada's top military scientists. Even on thatdisgustingplace you call Earth, ZIM enjoys performing horrible, life-threatening experiments on the dumb humans that occupy it.The Napoleon: Zim may be the shortest Irken in the Armada, BUT HE IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE GREATEST INVADER TO EVER LIVE! ONE DAY, YOU WILL ALL BOW DOWN TO ZIM!No Indoor Voice: Why would ZIM want to be quiet? EVERYONE SHOULD HEAR ME!Oblivious to Hatred: You say the Tallest detest Zim? YOU LIE! THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST ACKNOWLEDGE MY SUPERIOR SKILLS AS AN INVADER! WHY DO YOU THINK THEY SENT ME ON THIS SECRET MISSION TO TAKE OVER YOUR WORTHLESS PLANET?!Older Than He Looks: ZIM may not look it, but he's older than any Earth-creature that lives.Paper-Thin Disguise: ZIM'S DISGUISE IS NOT THIN, IT IS BRILLIANT! I am much too attractive to cover myself up, and fake hair and eyes are all that is needed to fool you puny Earthlings into thinking I am a perfectly normal human worm-baby.The Sociopath: Irkens do not care for pathetic human emotions or love. We only conquer!Third-Person Person: Yes, ZIM often speaks in the third person; how else will anyone know that the amazing ZIM is talking about his own incredibleness?Undying Loyalty: To my eternal leaders, the Almighty Tallest. Soon you will ALL bow down to them.Victory Is Boring: LIES!! FILTHY EARTHEN LIES!! VICTORY WILL BE SWEET LIKE THE JUICES OF THE MAGNOMORPHIAN FRUITS, but only when ZIM has personally crushed all resistance. Having the filthy earthboy just give up on resisting me like he once did WILL NOT STAND!!Villain Protagonist: Villain? ZIM IS THE HERO OF THE IRKEN EMPIRE! But for some reason, you pathetic humans seem to see ZIM as the villain for wanting to take over your planet...Weaksauce Weakness: ZIM IS NOT WEAK! ZIM IS A MIGHTY INVADER OF THE IRKEN ARMADA THAT IS IMPERVIOUS TO ALL PAIN! Okay, so perhaps your filthy planet's water may cause my skin to burn, but I have long since overcome that weakness by bathing daily in your Earth-based paste. And keep that meat away from me!Worthy Opponent: I must admit that while the Dib-monkey may be a thorn in my side, he is the only one who can truly appreciate the amazingness of my plans. IT WILL MAKE ANNIHILATING HIM ALL THE MORE SWEETER!Xanatos Gambit: ZIM'S PLANS NEVER FAIL! Oh, on the surface, it mayseemlike my schemes to take over this stink planet get foiled, but what you fail to realize with your primitive human brain is that they are but a diversion from what I TRULY INTEND! Take that incident with theFlorpusfor instance...Dib may have thought he won that one, but I was able to steal his puppy clown thing,whichhad been my real planall along! VICTORY WAS MINE!"}
{"text": "or V\u00edctor Hugo Aguilar if you live in Latin America.)Hah! Hah! Hr! Hah!Oo-ooh, man! Johnny Bravo's finally got his ownTV Tropespage! All those who would like to speak with or about Johnny Bravomust now refer to Johnny Bravo in the third person....What? I sure do like the sound of it.So yeah, this page is all mine, all Johnny Bravo's. Lemme tell you a little about myself.I'm a highly sophisticated kinda guy who enjoys a little alone time with his millions of screaming lady fans. But enough about me, let's hear a little more about me.Johnny Bravo's gonna cut things a little short, but remember, this is Johnny Bravo's page. Not that dweeb Carl's orthat annoying little neighbor girl'sor evenmy loving mama's,who Johnny Bravo no longer lives with by the way. This is all about Johnny Bravo.noteTropes that apply to every one of Johnny's personality traits go here, expressed in Johnny's male persona. This includes the female one seen in \"Witch-ay-Woman\". If you cannot express the trope in Johnny's own words, use a note like this one.Johnny Bravo provides examples of the following personality traits:Amazon ChasernoteShown as early as theWhat A Cartoonshorts. Most specifically \"Johnny Bravo and the Amazon Women\".Berserk Button: Nobody touches the glasses, and nobody, butNOBODY, threatens Johnny's mama!Nevermind the species!Butt-Monkey:Ooh! Monkey!Casanova Wannabe: Waddya mean wannabe?Catchphrase: Whoah mama!Right. What'd I say?Wiggy!The Chew Toy: Johnny Bravo does not want to be reminded.Casual Kink: My mamma warned me about strange women who shackle men to walls or tables! ...And I'm hoping she's right about them.Childhood Brain Damage: Did ya know, when I was 12 years old, I got kicked in the head real hard at a pony farm?Cool Shades: Nobody sees Johnny Bravo without his glasses.Deadpan Snarker:Yeah whatever.Disappeared Dad: Ya know, Mama Bravo ain't never been too clear on whatever happened to Papa Bravo. Ah well, she does well enough on her own.Dumbass Has a Point: Waddya mean dumb?Dumb Blonde: Waddya mean dumb?Epic Fail:noteHow everything Johnny performs ends up likeJohnny Bravo knows nothing about failing butknows all there is about being Epic!Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: As bad as Johnny Bravo can be, Johnny Bravo will always love his mamma.Everyone Has Standards: Johnny Bravo ain't no liar. Maybe the whole \"sensitive guy\" schtick draws in the babes, but Johnny ain't gonna pretend to be something he ain't. And you won't like what happens once the ladies see through the charade...Also, Johnnylovesthe ladies, but if you ain't an adult, then Johnny's not gonna get involved with ya.Fascinating Eyebrow: Johnny Bravo's eyebrow is just one of the fascinating things about him.Flanderization: I hadn't noticed, but I'm guessing Johnny Bravo got more pretty asJohnny Bravowent on.Gender Bender: Yes, Johnny Bravo was a woman once. But Johnny Bravo's still the beefiest cake at the butchery.Hairstyle Inertia: I've had my hunky hairstyle since I was just a baby.Handsome Lech: With the emphasis on \"handsome\", baby!Hartman Hips:noteAs seen in the episode \"Witch-ay-Woman\"I was so much prettier as a man.Hidden Depths: Ya know, I really did like that European chick.Hollywood Tone-Deaf: Hey, watcha gettin' at? The crowds were just fighting to get an earful of Johnny Bravo's singin'! What, you think they turned up to hear that dweeb Carl or that neighbor kid?Hunk: Johnny Bravo rolled up into just one word.Jaw Drop: Johnny Bravo's jaw only drops for my many many hot chick fans.Jeff Bennett: Who's that?Impossible Hourglass FigurenoteIn \"Witch-ay-Woman\"Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Johnny Bravo doesn't have time for dweebs like Carl or brats like that little neighbor girl, butJohnny Bravo loves his mama.Muscles Are Meaningless: Waddya mean meaningless? Just watchthis!Hah! Hr! Hah! Hah!Nobody Touches the Hair: \"Watch the hair.\"No Mouth: Johnny Bravo only shows his mouth when Johnny Bravo speaks or makes a funny face. And for getting the ladies.Paper Tiger: Is that some kinda origami thing?Screams Like a Little Girl: Lies! Johnny Bravo has the manliest scream of twenty men!Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: If you're talking about that nerd Carl, I've never seen him in my life.Small Name, Big Ego: Johnny Bravo's sure his ego, whatever that is, is as big as his opinion of himself and his musclescombined!Sunglasses at Night: Johnny Bravo always has to look stylish and studly, even at night.My glasses! I can't be seen without mah glasses!Third-Person Person: Johnny Bravo is Johnny Bravo!This Loser Is You: Who calls Johnny Bravo a loser? Let Johnny Bravo ask ya this: Would a loser like me be the most handsome and manly guy you ever laid your eyes on?Too Dumb to Live: Waddya mean dumb?Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth: That frost giant made a big mistake eatin' Johnny Bravo right after he ate a whole bag of jalapenos!And next time ya try to steal someone's brain,make sure they have one!Took a Level in Dumbass: Eh, so season 2 and 3 of Johnny's show wasn't his greatest moment, it drew in the viewers, didn't it?Top-Heavy Guy: Johnny Bravo's got the heaviest top in the history of tops more than a lot of pounds!Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: You talk funny.Virgin Sacrifice: Hey, lady, I\u2014 *punch!*Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?:CLOWNS!?"}
{"text": "No dogs allowed on this page. Idetestdogs!You are standing in a dark room. Suddenly, anall-too familiardrum beatstarts playing, anda pair of eyes appears in the darkness.The owner of the eyes slowly steps out from the darkness.For best effect, try reading this page in a British accent, preferably with a deep voice.Hello, troper. Welcome to Katz'sSelf-Demonstrating character page.I'm Katz, not to be confused withthe doctor of the same name. So, you would like to learn about me? I must say, I'm flattered.You may have heard of me in a certainanimated television programby the name ofCourage the Cowardly Dog.I was the most recurring villain in the show. By this, I mean that I appeared in 6 episodes (including an episode where I only made a cameo.) Yes, I know that this does not sound like a lot, but when your show has aMonster of the Weekformat, there's not much room for recurring villains. I was rather lucky, actually.These are the episodes in which I appeared:A Night At the Katz Motel: My first appearance, the first episode of the show, and my first run-in with that accursed canine. I was currently running my labor of love,the Katz Motel. ThatNorman Batesis quite an inspiration to me.Klub Katz: My second appearance, in which I took inspiration from the brilliant mind ofDr. Moreau.Katz Kandy: My third appearance, which was notablyLighter and Softerthan my other appearances. This time, I owned the titular candy shop. This was when I revealed to you, the audience, that every year, I participate in the Nowhere Sweet Stuff Contest, and every year, I end up in 2nd place, just behind that old woman I have tried to murder so many times.Obviously,I'm not happy about this.Katz Under the Sea: My fourth appearance, and the last episode I got all to myself. This time, the foolish citizens of Nowhere were easily lured onto my submarine tour. A tour thatshould haveended with them sinking to the bottom of the sea and exploding. I despise that dog to no end.Ball Of Revenge: In which I teamed up with some old friends to defeat that stupid dog once and for all. We failed, and this was my last real appearance...Profiles in Courage: My one cameo appearance. I myself do not appear, but in the paper cutter's workshop, you can see a cutout of me in the background.Tropes that apply to me:The Ace: There isn't much that I can't do.Amazing Technicolor Wildlife: Red isn't exactly a natural fur color for a cat. It's one of the things that makes me so scary.Arch-Enemy: By virtue of being the most recurring villain, I function as this to that dog.Ax-Crazy: I may be calm and collected, but thathardlystops me from being unquenchably bloodthirsty.Badass in a Nice Suit: In \"Klub Katz\" and \"Katz Under The Sea\", I sport a snazzy white tuxedo.Big Bad: I am the closest thing the show had to one.Big Bad Duumvirate:I can be considered this inBall Of Revengesince I'm the most vocal member of the group alongside the old man.In a more recent outing, I joined forces with that fiendish fowl Le Quack in a scheme to harness the magic of the dark matter meteor at the heart of Nowhere... a scheme that surely would have succeeded if not forthose interloping youths and their mangy canine.Blob Monster: Not me myself, but in \"Katz Kandy\", I created one of these out of my own jelly recipe to capture the old woman. Surprisingly, it was her husband who defeated it.By the Lights of Their Eyes: One of my specialties.The Cameo: You can see a paper cutout of me in the episode \"Profiles of Courage\"Catchphrase: Quite a few. For example:\"I wish you hadn't done that\".\"A little sportbefore dying?\"\"Sad, isn't it?\"\"Hello. Welcome to X. I'm Katz\"Cats Are Mean: Indeed. I do have quite the sinister personality.Cats Are Snarkers: It's not my fault that I'm simply more intelligent than everyone else.Cold Ham: I manage tochew a bit of sceneryat times without ever raising my voice.Commissar Cap: I sport one of these in \"Katz Under The Sea\".Complete Monster: I'll admitI'm not very nice.Con Man: Though I'm a more deadly example than most.Creepy Shadowed Undereyes: As you see, I work hard for my craft.Deadpan Snarker: I see you've just survived a devastating shipwreck. Pity.The Dragon: I lost myBig Badstatus to thatGrumpy Old Manin \"Ball of Revenge\". Sad, isn't it?Evil Brit: Courtesy of Paul Schoeffler.Evil Laugh: It's usually more of an evil chuckle, though I did get a good one in \"Night at the Katz Motel\"Evil Red Head: Red fur, in my case.Evil Sounds Deep: Again, kudos to Schoeffler. My voice does frighten you, does it not?Excuse Me While I Multitask: In \"Night at the Katz Motel\", I repeatedly took some time to do things like read and sip some tea during my little ball game with the dog.Faux Affably Evil: I quite cleverly mask my murderous intentions with a pleasant facade.Foil: To the annoying pink dog. Whereas he isa clumsy and unconfident fool who can't do anything right, I excel in just about everything I do.For the Evulz: Why I commit my evil deeds.Giant Spider: I breed and raise many colorful species of giant spider. They would love to have you over for dinner, I assure you...Hell Hotel: You simply must pay a visit to my motel sometime.You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.Involuntary Battle to the Death: My island resort was actually a front for a sort of gladiatorial games strictly for my amusement: I would deceive unlucky customers into attending my spa, where I would transform them into machines and force them to fight to the death in my arena. A plan I'm certain would have succeeded if not for the intervention of that wretched dog.Joker Immunity: No matterwhat happens to me, I willalwayscome back.Lean and Mean: Quite so, as you see in the picture.Leitmotif: A calm, sinister, and very distinctive percussion-heavy piece. Quite fitting for one such as me. There are at least two versions. Almost every time you see me, you'll be hearing it in the background.I have another one that plays in the title cards for my first 4 episodes. It contains two ominous string chords, followed by a screeching, unearthly sound.Mad Libs Catchphrase: The locale I run may change, but my introduction is always the same.Major Injury Underreaction:\"I wish you hadn't done that.\"Mega Neko: I'm not exactlyhumongous, but being the size of a human certainly qualifies me as one.New Job as the Plot Demands: Why not? When one business is exposed as a fraud, I simply move on to another scheme.Noodle People: Although this trope applied to most characters on the show, it works for me the best by reinforcing my ominous appearance.Obviously Evil: It's rather surprising that that pink dog is the only one who noticed. Of course, that'severyone else'sproblem, not mine.Revenge: My motivation in \"Katz Kandy\" and \"Ball of Revenge\". I tend to hold grudges for a long time, in case you haven't noticed.Sadist: The only reason I challenge that stupid dog to \"a little sport before dying\" is to drag out his suffering for a little bit longer. And those sports challenges are mymildestdisplays of sadism.Second Place Is for Losers: Ihatelosing! That is why I soughtRevengein \"Katz Kandy\"Serial Killer: I love to set up seemingly normal locations to lure people in so I can arrange their deaths.Sharp-Dressed Man: A scoundrel I may be, but that's simply no excuse not to look my best.Slasher Smile: I do have quite the sinister smirk.Smug Snake: At times, admittedly. But can you blame me? I certainly am amazing.The Sociopath: Who cares about anyone else? Certainly not me.Soft-Spoken Sadist: I possess no regard whatsoever for the lives of innocents, but few people manage to look past my calm and collected presence long enough to notice.Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: \"Saccharine\"may not be the best word to describe the show, but I certainlycaused more troublethan that bumbling fox and that barbaric mole.Villain Team-Up: I did this with some of the other villains in \"Ball of Revenge\" to kill that dog. It was perhaps one of the most painful moments of my career, having to work with such uncouth buffoons.Villainous Breakdown: The only time I haveeverlost my cool was in the episode \"Klub Katz\", whenit was apparentlymyfault that the stupid old man smashed his own chair!In my own defense, you would be scared too if you were being chased byan angry wrecking ball.Wicked Cultured: I enjoy the finer things in life, such as literature, tea,and murder.Xtreme Kool Letterz: My name could count. But I wouldn't consider it \"cool.\" I find it to be more...\"cultured.\"Yellow Eyes of Sneakiness: I'mcertainlyclever, and Icertainlyhave rather yellow eyes. That's no coincidence, I assure you."}
{"text": "some caption text
Kraangis the interdimensional species which is a species from the dimension known as \"Dimension X,\" which is the dimension of Kraang.By the order of Kraang Prime, all humans that are known as \"humans\" shall be captured and used in the experiments of Kraang. All humans against the authority authorized by the authority of Kraang will be subject to the authority of Kraang. All mutants present in the presence of Kraang shall be met with immediate termination and dissection.The mutagen that is used in the mutation of humans with be used in the mutation of humans for the terraforming process of that which is known as \"the Invasion of Earth\" after the acquisition of the necessary DNA samples of the human known as \"April O'Neil\" for the necessary acquisition of DNA for Kraang.The following that follows that which is called \"Tropes\" of the knowledge of Kraang.Abusive Precursors: Those which is known as \"humans\" are the creation of Kraang using the mutagen which is beneficial for the Invasion that which is known as \"the Invasion of Earth.\"A Kind of One: Kraang has ordered Kraang by order of Kraang Prime to give the orders that Kraang has been ordered to received by order of Kraang Prime.Aliens Are Bastards: The planet that which is known as \"Earth\" is subject to invasion of Kraang and experimentation by Kraang for Kraang. Humans are that which is known as \"pathetic\" and are easy to control by Kraang.Ax-Crazy: Halt, the humans known as \"tropers.\" Prepare to be captured and experimented in a manner that which is known as \"unbearable\" for the benefit of Kraang. Resistance leads to that which is known as \"annihilation.\"Big Bad Ensemble: The one that is called \"Shredder\" has proven to be beneficial to Kraang.Complete Monster: Kraang Prime has given the order: exterminate all humans. Insults such as this will be regarded as resistance and will be punished with agony.Department of Redundancy Department: That which is known as \"tropers\" must prepare to be exterminated in this place by Kraang when Kraang comes to exterminate that which is known as \"tropers\" in this place where that which is known as \"tropers\" will be exterminated in this place.noteKraang Sub-prime:We've been here for thousands of years yet can't speak proper English?!?Ditto Aliens: Kraang answers to Kraang and only Kraang. Except an exception applied can be applied to an exception with Kraang to Kraang. Kraang is much more likable than Kraang, but Kraang also has the experience to properly manage the work of Kraang.Hugh Mann: Kraang has acquired the necessary acquisition for Kraang to fool the foolish humans that applies to their foolish humanity. Models are that which are known as \"Norman, \"Irma\" and \"Ms. Campbell.\"The Illuminati: Kraang has founded the foundations of this place that which is known as \"America\" which has been founded by Kraang in this place.Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: That which is known as \"tropers\" shall halt so that Kraang can exterminate \"tropers\" in this place which \"tropers\" should not be in this place.Killer Gorilla: That which is known as \"biodroids\" have been provided by Kraang for the next phase in that which is known as \"security\" of Kraang Base for Kraang. Neural implants made in the model of the Earth creature known as \"gorillas\" provide Kraang with increase in that which is known as \"fire-power.\"Long Game: Kraang has studied and prepared in the invasion and terraforming process that which is known as \"the Invasion of Earth\" for thousands of Earth-years to be processed and invaded.Third-Person Person: Speak to Kraang the knowledge that Kraang has come to demand that you give to Kraang!Alternative Title(s):Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012 The Kraang"}
{"text": "some caption text
It's not pretty being me, just try it and you'll see.It's much harder than you think to be a gorgeous mink.my song(For the full effect, read in the voice of Julie Brown.)Oh, is this one of those \"self-demonstrating\" trope pages? Well, it's about time I got one, if you ask me! But since you were kind enough to visit it, I suppose I can indulge in telling you all about my gorgeous self.My name is Minerva Mink, perhaps one of the most remembered characters fromthat TV show that focused on those three crazy kidsinstead of me for some reason. My first appearance on the show wasn't even an episode dedicated exclusively to me! It was an episode about one of those kids pretending he was Hercules (anyone with a brain would've made it about me and Hercules falling in love)! But eventually the people atWarner Bros.FINALLY got it through their heads that I deserved my own episodes and gave me some (I would've rather had the show, though.).My first episode was \"Meet Minerva\", in which I was just minding my own business when some short fat dog named Newt approached me, making it known that he wanted to capture me and bring me to his master. I, however,used my natural beauty to ensure he was never successful. And then the episode ended with mestealing the heart of a total hunk, and the two of us living happily ever after.My next episode, \"Moon Over Minerva\", introduced Wilford B. Wolf, this nerdy little dweeb who thought he had a chance with me! I know, right? However, I also ended up meeting this total hunk of a wolf who seemed to disappear whenever the moon got covered up, with Wilford always appearing in his place. Eventually, though, I realized that Wilford WAS that hunk, and would only be that hunk whenever the full moon was out. Of course, we reached a compromise, and I'm DEFINITELY willing to wait.Aaand that was about it for appearances on the show. I know, I wasn't happy either! Seems some\"concerned parents\"thought I wasn't appropriate for a kids show. After that, the most I could get on the show was small bit appearances and cameos in episodes starring those kids and a bunch of other nobodies Warner Bros. seemed to think were more important that I was! Can you believe that!? And I'm not even allowed to appear on the revival show (well,aside for a brief cameo. They were nice enough to invite me back, unlike that awful Chicken Boo who tried to kill us all, which was what we wanted him to think). At leastthe comic book scenewas more accepting of yours truly, and I got way more gigs in comics than the cartoon show that had to ditch me.But enough about me, let's talk about my tropes:Alliterative Name:Get it?MinervaMink.Barefoot Cartoon Animal: I wasn't big on shoes in my Animaniacs shorts. That changed in my comic stories, though.Dude Magnet: Hey, can I help it if every guy wants me?Furry Female Mane: My hair. Like it?Gold Digger: So I want to marry a man who's handsome, smart, and loaded. Is that so wrong?Head-Turning Beauty: Guys tend to go gaga at the sight of me. Not that they can be blamed, of course.Lady in Red: I have a red dress as part of my wardrobe.So Beautiful, It's a Curse: As much as I love having every man in the immediate vicinity go crazy for me, sometimes I wish they wouldn't, like when I'm just trying to do some errands!Swapped Roles: Okay, I admit it. Whenever I see a really hunky guy, I end up acting the exact same way most men do when they see me.Species Surname:Get it? I'm a mink, and my last name's Mink?"}
{"text": "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Greetings, stranger who is unfamiliar with me! You have just arrived at the self demonstrating page for Mojo Jojo on the website TV Tropes by clicking on a link which you found on the browser on the computer you are using! On this page I, Mojo Jojo, will describe myself to you so that you may know the things about Mojo Jojo which will be useful for you to know! I, Mojo Jojo, am theprincipalandsuperiorvillain on theCartoon NetworkcartoonThe Powerpuff Girls, which is an animated show about my enemies, the accursed Powerpuff Girls.Once upon a time, I was an ordinary chimpanzee named Jojo, the humble lab assistant of Professor Utonium. But all that changed when he accidentally created those benighted and accursed Powerpuff Girls! I was abandoned, ignored, neglected! All because of those stupid girls and their \"charm\". Full of disgust, I left the Utonium household determined to show my disdain! You see, the same explosion that created the girls also caused my simian brain to grow to remarkable size, and with it, I decided to dedicate my life to destroying those accursed Powerpuff Girls, and take over Townsville! Which is to say that everyone would do what I say except those who had been destroyed by me, such as Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup.Time and time again, I have tried and failed to defeat them. Despite my ingenious, brilliant plans, wide array of evil gadgets, and alliances among the other, lesser villains of Townsville, those Powerpuff Girls always defeat me! But do not mistake these outcomes as final! For I, Mojo Jojo, am secretly developing my next plan right now! When it is completed, you will all grovel in fear of me, MOJO JOJO! Because you will fear the consequences of my wrath.But in the meantime, please, read these things about me which I have decided to tell you by writing them here.Tropes that apply to me, Mojo Jojo, the one who is described by these tropes, so that you may learn about me, Mojo Jojo, in an easy way!Aesop Amnesia: Hey, I'll have you know I always plan ahead and learn from my mistakes! It's just those stupid Powerpuff Girls always outsmart me somehow!Affably Evil: I am indeed a bad monkey, full of hate and plans for destruction! But that is not to say that I am discourteous or unfriendly. Once I rule Townsville with an iron fist there shall be free puppies for all.Always Someone Better: A terror from another world that was not Earth because it was another world once came to Earth in order to destroy the Powerpuff Girls and terrorize Townsville with an eternal reign of wickedness. That alien terror was forced tocry like a little girland beg for mercy from Mojo Jojo!Adaptational Wimp: A spin-off series known as \"Powerpuff Girls Z\" mocked the mighty Mojo Jojo! Those foolish writers made me seem most foolish, rather than most intelligent as all right-thinking people who do not wish to be vaporized would agree me to be.Anti-Hero: On occasion it is necessary for Mojo Jojo to defeat other villains. Ido notdo this to save the day. The day is not to be saved by me. Others may save days, but Mojo Jojo will not, for it is my destiny to ruin days, which is not the same as saving them.Arch-Enemy: I am the most recurring threat those Powerpuff Girls face, the one whom they battle most often and the villain whom they must recognize as one whom they have often faced on earlier occasions, which were numerous! Mojo Jojo especially has this with Blossom. Bubbles has it with HIM and Buttercup has The Gangreen Gang.Ax-Crazy: Sometimes the stresses of being an evil monkey and being defeated by the Powerpuff Girls prove too much, and I lapse into my primal animal habits. How embarrassing.The Bad Guy Wins: In theGrand Finale, after all this time, I finally succeed in conquering the world!And then I solve all the world's problems and make it a happy place for everybody! No, really. However, I hate 'everybody', so I decided to stop making things easier for them.Bad Guys Do the Dirty Work: Never send three little girls to do a brilliant, sadistic monkey's job.Badass Cape: Thank you for noticing. I think you will agree that it is imposing. If you know what is good for you.Big Bad: Haha! You are talking to the most well-known, popular, iconic villain of the entire series! You may claim that HIM is more dangerous, but who is out there building the death rays, terrorizing the citizenry, stealing the valuables?!Big \"NO!\": This is a normal and appropriate expression of my chagrin when I realize that the Powerpuff Girls have again emerged victorious.Brought Down to Normal: Sometimes I have made use of Chemical X to enhance myself further. Somehow these increases to my power never endure, which is to say that they fail to persist. It is almost as ifsome arbitrary limit to my status as a threat is being enforced by causality itself.The Cameo: You also saw me as the good non-imaginary friend ofWiltwho is also my non-imaginary friend.Thebraindid an excellent impression of me which is a masterpiece of an impression.Catchphrase:\"CURSES!\"Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Of course I could use my genius to earn a massive amount of wealth legally, butstealing is more amusing,especially the looks of woe on the faces of the people from whom I have stolen, which is to say, the citizens of Townsville.Determinator: I have already told you. Those sassy-mouthed little brats can do whatever they want to me, but I will not think of giving up on achieving the goals that I am trying to achieve by achieving them.Department of Redundancy Department: Oh puh-lease! I do not talk like that! The way I communicate is much different.I do not reiterate, repeat, reinstate the same thing over and over again! I am clear, concise, to the point!According toCraig McCracken, this tendency of mine was based onThe Superdictionary. Or rather, it would have been if I actuallyhadthis supposed habit, which I do not.I do not constantly reword all of my statements in new ways! That would be redundant and repetitive, and therefore ridiculous!Devil in Plain Sight: Look, I chose the Volcano Observatory as my lair because I wanted a big honking villain lair, not because it was inconspicuous. Even that idiot Mayor knows where it is.Diabolical Mastermind: Perhaps it has escaped you that I, Mojo Jojo, am the most brilliant and ruthless of prodigies as well as being quite intelligent and cruel. So I shall put it plainly: I, Mojo Jojo, am the most brilliant and ruthless of prodigies! Also, I am quite intelligent. And cruel.Didn't Think This Through: This slanderous accusation has been made, and it has been said although it is not true, because it is not! I don't care if those Powerpuff Girls decided I was not a bank robbery suspect because the crime was \"too well-thought out.\" Iwouldhave done it if I'd wanted to. And I would have completed the planning of the crime before committing the crime, which would have been committed after having been thought out completely and in its entirety. Beforehand.Ditzy Genius: Ditzy?! How dare you refer me as such?! I command you to show me, Mojo Jojo, the evil genius of all time, a little more respect! For I am by no means stupid! All my plans are perfect! Do not ever speak like that about me again, or I will use you as a test for my deadly experiments! Then you'll see how ditzy I am!!!Even Evil Has Loved Ones: My heart was broken when i found out that that Moky was just a regular chimp, and not a mutated supervillain chimp like me - and that she betrayed me for the Powerpuff Girls. Why, Moky? Why?I also love my children, the Rowdyruff Boys! Not just because they're on my side - although thatispretty sweet - but because I created them intentionally! Not accidentally, like certain less capable scientist-slash-father-figures I could mention. In fact, I will mention one: Professor Utonium. There, I have said it.Even Evil Has Standards: I am one bad dude to be sure, but I do have some class. It is what makes me, Mojo Jojo, such a great and respected villain.Those Powerpuff Girls broke into my house and beat me up when all I was doing was sleeping! Can you believe it? I am a citizen! An evil citizen, sure, but still a citizen!Evil Is Petty: No evil, however great or small, is too low for Mojo Jojo! I once went a rampage through Townsville because a hobby shop didn't have what I asked for! ...I also once dropped water on the Powerpuff Girls's bed, simply so that they'd think they had wet the bed, thus causing them to experience terrible feelings of humiliation! Heh heh. That was fun.Evil Laugh: I laugh my evil laugh to indicate that I, Mojo Jojo, am enjoying myself.Evil Sounds Raspy: Yes, I do speak in gravelly vocals, which is the rough sound to represent my evilness and how a villain shall properly sound! Therefore, I should naturally be speaking through a hoarse voice so my indications that I am a villain would be egregious to the whole body of Townsville when they listen to the harsh sound that escapes my larynx!Eviler than Thou: Villainy is highly competitive and I, Mojo Jojo, take no pride in second place! It is less than first place, which is the best place and therefore ought to be mine.Exact Words: When the Powerpuff Girls and I first met, I told them my plan was to make Townsville a better place. It was,for me.From Nobody to Nightmare: From Professor Utonium's simple lab assistant to the Powerpuff Girls' number one enemy! Oh yes, I did rise high, didn't I?Genius Bruiser: My genius has allowed me, Mojo Jojo, to build amazing and incredible gadgets and plans of pure evil in a matter of days, less than weeks! However, I was also able to defeat an alien menace to Townsville using nothing but my simple, gloved hands and a stale loaf of bread.Godzilla Threshold: InThe Movie, after the Powerpuff Girls defeated my army of super-intelligent apes, I took extreme measures, and used the remaining Chemical X on myself and turned into a giant.Guttural Growler:Yes, I do speak in gravelly vocals, which is the rough sound to represent my evilness and how a villain shall properly sound! Therefore, I should naturally be speaking through a hoarse voice so my indications that I am a villain would be egregious to the whole body of Townsville when they listen to the harsh sound that escapes my....hey, wait a minute! I said that already!Hypocritical Humor: Humor? I am serious! Not joking! That Bubbles is a liar! I talk nothing like the way she talked when she thought she was me!Knight of Cerebus:The Movieportrayed me as the trueEvil Geniusthat I am. Tricking the Powerpuff Girls into helping me take over Townsville, almost defeating them, and causing woe and destruction of all kinds! It was glorious I tell you! A true shining point in my evil career.Large Ham: I,Mojo JOJO!am not bound by your paltry standards of 'over-acting'! I amMOJO JOJO!Luke, You Are My Father:I am the one who created the Powerpuff Girls... All this time, I was trying to destroy the very thing that I created... I created them... It was me...Maniac Monkeys: I am no mere monkey! I am an evil genius chimpanzee with an oversized brain and one of the girls' oldest and greatest foes, which is to say that I was there when they were created. The Chemical X that created them also caused my simian brain to mutate and grow, and the Professor's love for the girls led to my path of villainy. Inthe movie, I had a whole army of uplifted simians created to serve as my henchmen so I could rule Townsville. Unfortunately,they all objected to me being the one in charge, andeach of them tried to rule Townsville for themselves.Manipulative Bastard: Once, I tricked a group of stupid kids who worshiped those Powerpuff Girls into giving them powers through Chemical X! But not just any Chemical X, for this Chemical X was tricked out with a little something else. Something that would make themgo blind with the awesome powerand make them do anything to get more, including destroying the Powerpuff Girls!My Brain Is Big: My turban is notjustmeant to evoke the Evil Vizier-like pulp villains of days past: it conceals the tremendous growth of my brain, which burst right out of my skull during my initial long-forgotten exposure to Chemical X. The turban keeps it from getting chilly.Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Twice, in fact! Once for causing the very lab accident that created the Powerpuff Girls, then once again when I went back in time to stop Professor Utonium from becoming a scientist, only for me to horrifically discover thatIgave him the inspiration to become a scientist in the first place.CURSES!!!\"Not So Different\" Remark: \"None of them will ever understand you as I can, for we are kindred spirits whose powers spring from the same source!\"The girls didn't buy it.One-Winged Angel:In the movie, after I exposed myself to a larger amount of Chemical X to defeat the Powerpuff Girls once and for all, I mutated into a giant monkey with enough power to crush them! Until the Professor came along with the Antidote that is...Paper-Thin Disguise: I have found that the ignorant citizens of Townsville are completely incapable of recognizing Public Enemy Number One if I make even the slightest effort at disguise, because they are fools. So I don't usually bother with agooddisguise.Pragmatic Villainy: There is only one kind of evil that Mojo Jojo will not stoop to:Stupid Evil. No blowing up the Earth or destroying Townsville, for example, because then you would have nothing to do tomorrow, which would be boring.Sadist: The suffering of the citizens of Townsville amuses me! Ha ha ha!Screams Like a Little Girl: I was horrified when I found out that my dear Moko Jono was just a regular chimpanzee. How embarrassing!Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Of course my loquacity is sesquipedalian! Can you really have read this far and not grasped my principal point, which is that I like to demonstrate my intelligence by expounding upon my brilliant thought processes through exhaustive use of rhetoric?!Shout-Out: Many people have told me that I resemble Dr. Gouri fromSpectreman, that I remind them of him. Nonsense! I, Mojo Jojo, am one and original. I say it ishethat emulatedme!Start of Darkness: If it weren't for that tragic accident in Professor Utonium's lab that created the Powerpuff Girls, I would have never become the smart, evil genius that I am today. So I guess the day wasn't a total loss.Strong as They Need to Be: Sometimes those Powerpuff Girls only need a few punches to incapacitate me. Other times I am strong enough to hold my own against them in direct, physical combat. If you are wondering how exactly that works, well, so am I.Superpower Lottery:The Chemical X infusion I received at the end of the movie made me grow to the size of aKaiju, a Japanese giant monster, with most of theadvantages- as well asincredible speed, the ability to use a thunder-clap, shooting my hair out like thorns, andscorching hot fire breath.It was a good day!... except for the way it ended.Tragic Villain: I said it before, and I will say it again. I was once Professor Utonium's loving lab assistant, whom he rejected and abandoned after those Powerpuff Girls were created.All that foolishness about my being malicious and useless is just sour grapes, which is to say, jealousy.Victory Is Boring:All my calculations led to that moment, and yet I had never realized that I would then require a new hobby, which would not be as amusing as trying to take over the world.Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: Oh, how I enjoyed pushing that Y7 rating to its limit!Villainous Breakdown: As I have already said, my chosen destiny is a stressful one, and in the heat of the moment I sometimes make decisions which later turn out to have been regrettable. By which I mean idiotic.Villainous Crossdresser: In order to break into the Powerpuff Girls' stupid slumber party, I donned the cunning disguise of Mojicia. My cover was almost blown by the girls, but my brilliant grasp of subterfuge (and pillow fighting) made the girls lower their guard. Even though it seemed like we were having a good time, once everyone was asleep, I set out to get my real objective;Antidote X.Villains Out Shopping: It began very simply: I discovered one day, upon rising to begin my day's villainy with a nutritious breakfast, that the egg drawer of my refrigerator contained only one egg, which is one egg less than the two eggs recommended for a nutritious breakfast. Without additional eggs there would be no nutritious breakfast, no day's villainy and no brilliant destruction of the Powerpuff Girls.So I went shopping.Well-Intentioned Extremist: As much as I enjoy wickedness for its amusement value and because it is fun, I, Mojo Jojo, have a heart when it comes to ruling the world. I've created a better world, and I'd do it again if these idiotic Powerpuff Girls weren't always there to prevent it!We Can Rule Together: \"All we have to do is work together. Girls, join me!\"It didn't turn out well.You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry!: Do not, I repeat, do NOT make me angry! Or else you will regret it deeply, you will want to apologize, you will feel sorry for ever incurring my wrath!Wait! I forgot to think of a Stinger!Curses..."}
{"text": "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at meee!Meeseeks Box button is pressed, and Meeseeks appears.I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at meee!Meeseeks is ordered to fill out Self-Demonstrating page.Can Do!I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me, I'm a member of aServant Racethat exists solely to fulfill whatever task is asked of me! Once that's finished, I cease to exist! Hopefully this won't take too long!Oh, yeah, that's another thing to note about us Meeseeks! We normally don't exist for more than maybe a few minutes/hours tops depending on how complex the task we're assigned! Two days is practically an eternity in Meeseeks time! And existence is practically PAAAAAAAIIIN to a Meeseeks! The longer we're forced to exist, the more desperate we get to fulfill our purpose so we can finally die! We'll even start to summon more Meeseeks to help out, and when THAT doesn't work, we decide tokill our original summonerout of desperation! So remember, keep your request simple and quick to complete!Our species debuted on theRick and Mortyepisode \"Meeseeks And Destroy\", where Rick showed the Meeseeks box off to his family so they would let him and Morty fulfill their bet! Summer's and Beth's requests were simple enough! But Jerry asked his Meeseeks to help him take a couple of strokes off his golf game! Boy, what a mistake that was! Jerry was hopeless in getting two strokes off his game, and that Meeseeks had to summon more to help out! And then Jerry lost interest and went to save his failing marriage to his wife, leaving all the other Meeseekses to have to wait, which, after two days, left them COMPLETELY DISTRAUGHT!! So they ultimately decided that the only way to fulfill Jerry's request was to kill him! So they all went to the restaurant Beth and Jerry were at, and held someone at gunpoint while cornering Jerry and Beth in the cold storage, DEMANDING him to complete his request and fulfill his purpose! Luckily, he was willing to comply, even with the stickler Meeseeks who stuck around after all the other Meeseekses died! He took two strokes off both his long game, and his short game too!I think that's all there is for the paragraphs! Now to list the tropes!These are tropes that apply to Meeseeks, look at me!:The Ace: We Meeseeks can do anything we're asked and that we put our minds to!Alien Blood: Meeseeks blood is white!Ax-Crazy: We'll start getting violent if we're forced to stay alive for longer than a few hours, sokeep your requests easy to fulfill!Benevolent Genie: Oh don't worry, we Meeseeks can and will fulfill any job you ask of us just the way you intended! No tricks at all! Unless we somehow can't. Then we might just have to solve your problemin a more literal way. EVEN IF IT MEANS WE HAVE TO KILL YOU!Beware the Nice Ones: We Meeseeks will do whatever it is you want! And if you just so happen to want SOMEONE DEAD then...can doooo!Blue/Orange Contrast: A Meeseeks' body is light blue, while any hair a Meeseeks has is orange!Subverted with a Kirkland Meeseeks whose body are red with blonde hair!Catchphrase: \"I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at meee!\" That's how we announce our arrival! And when we hear your request, we'll follow up with \"Can dooooo!\"Death Seeker: All us Meeseeks really want is to die! So keep whatever you want us to do something we can accomplish in a very short time!Determinator: A Meeseekwillfinish it's task, one way or another.Ditto Aliens: Besides the style of our hair, all Meeseeks look and act alike!Fate Worse than Death: Prolonged existence ispainto us Meeseeks and we will do anything,anythingto end that pain!Happiness in Slavery: We Meeseeks come into this world to fulfill our master's task, then we go away! We like it that way!Instant Expert: We Meeseeks know how to do anything asked of us!Murder the Hypotenuse: If it takes us too long to fulfill our purpose, we'll go so far as to try to kill whoever summoned us if it gets us to die!No Indoor Voice: We Meeseeks tend to only speak in shouting!The Noseless: Meeseeks don't have noses!One-Gender Race: All Meeseeks are male!Planet of Steves: We're all called Mr. Meeseeks! Look at meee! And we all know who we're talking to.Purpose-Driven Immortality: We Meeseeks can't die any other way than by fulfilling our purpose! You can rip us apart and blow holes in us all you want, but it won't do anything to actually kill us!Sanity Slippage: We Meeseeks aren't designed to exist for more than a few hours at most, any longer than that and we begin to lose our grip on sanity. Two days is an eternity by our standards!AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YA, YOU WON'T BE ADDING MANY MORE TROPES AFTER THIS ONE!...Well, I guess you'd need alotmore tropes about us on here for that to even happen, but you get the idea!Servant Race: Meeseeks exist solely to fulfill whatever purpose we're asked to!Shoddy Knockoff Product: There's also some Kirkland-brand Meeseeks Boxes, but those Meeseeks are a lot more grumpy and always smoking!Unfulfilled Purpose Misery: If we Meeseeks can't complete our task, then we can't die! And then things start getting weird!Verbal Tic: I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at meee!We Are as Mayflies: Meeseeks don't live for very long! We exist only as long as it takes to complete our job and then we die! Two days is eternity for Meeseeks!Who Wants to Live Forever?: We Meeseeks don't like living for too long! And since we're usually only alive for a couple of hours tops, we can get desperate to die pretty quickly!All done!(poofs out of existence)"}
{"text": "Doggy, doggy, what now?Whoa, hello there. How amazing it is to get a chance to do this? Where is this, by the way? I'm just kidding, I know where I am.(Pulls the trope to his side.)(whispers)No, seriously, where I am? I don't remember how I got here and I don't recognize any butt in here.(in normal tone)Oh, well! Must have signed a contract or something. Honestly, I don't remember half of the things I signed on to! Oh, I also see you got my good friend BoJack inthis page.BojackGoddammit!Isn't it great to share experiences with your best buddies.(beat)Oh, right! My queue! I'm always open to any questions from my fans. You may recognize me as Mr. Peanutbutter fromMr. Peanutbutter's House. But my life started way before that: I was born Misternote(yes, Mister is my first name)Peanutbutter to a litter of puppies in the peaceful Labrador Peninsula, Eastern Canada. Those were some good times in the countryside, although it's quite strange my family often zeroed on being happy above all. My parents, Nana, everybody was quite happy about everything, even when my nana was on his last days and quietly drifted into senile dementia while tenderly reassuring all she needed was a blanket. Ah, my brother Captain and I often looked out for each other and even today, we're good friends.Eventually, I left to try my own fortune inThe '90s. The day I arrived in L.A. with my first wife Katrina, I got the role in my show,Untitled Horsin' Around Ripoff. I wonder why. Still, it goes to show you don't need experience, knowledge or anything to get what you want, just a good attitude and disposition to do anything. Chase you dreams without any practice! There wasanother guy on set, I don't know what became of him, though I wish him luck. Things have been pretty smooth for me since...I mean, it's not like 2noteOh, man, 3...divorces have done anything to stop me. I've tried...REALLY TRIED...with every single one of them: Katrina just wasn't the same after the 1993 Halloween party andJessica Bielpreferred a more glamorous, reliable and ambitious personnoteAnd Diane...well, she has explained it to me, but I guess she just doesn't like big surprises. I live in a pretty good house (well, I'm in a new one right now...) and I live pretty well off royalties, although the money has disappeared occasionally for some reason. How am I supposed to make new investments without money?Oh, you're transcribing this? Cool! I just assumed it appeared automatically. So, shall we continue?Who's that dog? Mr. Peanutbutter! And these are the tropes I represent...The Ace: It just so happens I'm good at many things and Hollywoo rewards me in return. Even when I'm not good at them and I fail, I end up succeeding by sheer luck. See, positive thinking works! Come to think of it, it's like there's a safety net around me, set by savvy people who don't want to see me fail......or don't want to......or need me for something. Hum. Naaaah, it must be my positive attitude.All-Loving Hero: Honestly, it's in my nature. Just a big, friendly yellow dog with enough time for everybody! Although, people keep telling me my brand of love doesn't involve understanding others' feelings. Apparently, it's about adapting to everybody's sense of comfort. But that's what I've been doing!Always Someone Better: Some think I'm better than BoJack. I'm not. I mean, I've had healthier relationships, I'm better liked, I can do the impossible and my house is prettier but that's about it.noteBoJack: Just couldn't let me have this one. Your nose can't stop digging into other people's business, huh? See, that's your problem.Mr. Peanutbutter: Hey, buddy. Glad you came to wish me luck.BoJack:...Not listening as always. Fine, that's how it is. You flex all your stuff while being oblivious to your ego, so you have the excuse to pretend you'resohumble.Mr. Peanutbutter: Oh, BoJack, that's not how it is. I just show my stuff, because there's no reason to have it otherwise. Sometimes, I just want people to look at my stuff and show me their stuff, so we can compare our wealth. Everybody has the same things I do. That's just how the world is.BoJack: Wow, I stand corrected.Amicable Exes: I tried to be this with all my ex-wives. Results vary considering Katrina tried to use me as a political pawn and Jessica tried to have a group eat me after they dine on Zach Braff. With Diane it seem to be going well, then the cheating happened... BUT in a happy note we were finally able to talk like old friends over a nice phone call about both of us being authors!The Anti-Nihilist: The universe is a cruel, dark sucking void. The key to happiness isn't to search for meaning,it's to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense. And eventually, you'll be dead.Now, let's go chase after tennis balls!Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: I don't even know what that m\u2014 Erica! Did you ever get that glass eye replaced?Big Damn Heroes: Not to toot my own horn, because people usually do that for me anyway, but I saved Pacific Ocean City from total destruction by pasta, because I just so happened to have a large collection of spaghetti strainers AND a staff of people who could swim fast enough to use them.I'm also the one who managed to wrestle Bojack off Gina during the...unpleasantness when he had that painkiller addiction. Trust me, wrestling a horse who's going through withdrawal psychosis is even harder than it looks.Cannot Keep a Secret:Bojack once drunkenly told me he was the one who let Sarah Lynn die, and I just sort of blurted it out to these two reporters. I sure hope that won't have any ramifications!Catchphrase: \"Doggy doggy, what now?!\"Cone of Shame: I had to wear that stupid thing after I punched a mirror because I thought it was another dog that got into my house and was wearing my clothes.Furry Confusion: Well, I might be a famous actor, but Iama dog so sometimes I get sidetracked by dog things. Like when the mailman drives by, oooohhh, I HATE that guy! And I couldnt resist pestering the skunk next door so I got sprayed.Good Adultery, Bad Adultery: Yeah, not proud on cheating on Pickles with my ex-wife Diane. For the record, I ultimately told her and was willing to suffer to make up for it.Interspecies Romance: It's not a rule or anything, but for some reason, all my major relationships have been with human women. My engagement with Pickles is the first I've had with another dog.Welp, now we're broken up too, she ran off with Joey Pogo.Jerkass Realization: Well jerk pushing it, but I finally realize I needs to sort out my personal issues instead of hiding behind relationships (which considering my love life might be for the best).Nice Guy: I've been informed this is how almost everyone sees me, which is great, but it does get boring to play the same roles all the time. I briefly tried being more of a \"bad boy\" during my time onPhilbertbut that didnt work out so well, it's just not in me.The Other Marty: Second verse same as the first! How I ultimately became a star was due to accidentally wandering on the set while the original lead, whose name escaped me, was filming the first episode. For some reason the guy quit the production, and I was hired on the spot, I guess they really liked my speech!Undying Loyalty: Pschaw, sure I'm one of the few willing to even associate with Bojack nowadays, and even let him live in my house after all those lawsuits bankrupted him, but let's not get dramatic here! I'm sure a lot of other people would do the same!Really, only Vance Waggoner? Eesh.Rags to Riches/Riches to Rags: Oh I wouldn't call itragsbut I do admit my track record with money isn't the best. I cant help it, I just get so excited over new investment opportunities, especially when they're coming from my good friend and idea-man Todd Chavez. Oh well, I always seem to make it all back through some hilariously specific sequence of events, like the Spaghetti Strainer Incident.Alternative Title(s):Bojack Horseman Mr Peanutbutter"}
{"text": "I'm the Music Meister! You have found my page! I'm the Music Meister! Now this shall be my stage!And by the way...For full effect, read this in song in the voice ofNeil Patrick Harris. Or possiblyDarren Criss, though he was meIn Name Only.Bullies used to pick on me because I sang in choir, but something very strange occurred when I kept singing higher. The ruffians around me quickly fell into a trance. And it was then with wicked glee I made those puppets dance!And then I did declare myself Maestro of Villainy. And Batman had to stop me 'fore I controlled all save for me. The whole world would have fallen to my fetching siren song. But since then I plotted vengeance, to end our game most long!I'm the Music Meister, and I'm here to settle the score!I'm the Music Meister! Eclipsing kings and popes! I'm the Music Meister! Now here are some nice tropes!10-Minute Retirement: Inmy second Lego outingI did nearly give up crime. I figured that without my powers I'd still hit the big time. A friend brought me backup dancers as a generous boon. But when I saw them I decided they'd make better goons!Breakout Villain: I'm the Music Meister! You surely know my name! I'm the Music Meister! I've earned myself great fame! I won myself a place in the'verse of Arrow and the Flash.AndTT Gamestwice featured me ingames where I'd not clash.Canon Immigrant: That's what I became inDC Pride, it took a while, but I take it in stride! Connor Hawke's plan to punch my face was a parallel for him being Ace!Card-Carrying Villain: I'm the Music Meister! You should realize this by now! I'm the Music Meister! Now I shall make you bow!Compelling Voice: My singing voice will place you right beneath my wicked spell. And you shall dance to my whims or I'll send you right to...no, I can't say that word, can I? Not unless I were in the books, could I?Cut Lex Luthor a Check: InHarley Quinn,I do not rob. Instead I've found a useful job! When lovers find their bond is floundering, I'm called in for musical counseling! I've got more than showtunes, you'll see, because in this show my style is R&B!Mad Artist: I'm the Music Meister! Greatest villain of them all! I'm the Music Meister! My song shall be your fall!Magnificent Bastard: I'm the Music Meister! Evil's grandest virtuoso! I'm the Music Meister! Behold my spellbinding solo!Villainous Crush: Oh darling Black Canary, I could have given you the world. But you did spurn my feelings, so insteadyou'll be slain, girl."}
{"text": "(For the full effect, read this in the voice of eitherTeresa GallagherorRossy Aguirre.)Oh, why hello there. Welcome to my self-demonstrating page. I must say, I feel so honoured to finally have one (especially after all that my family puts me through), because it means someone thought I was interesting enough to make one for me.Oh, but of course, I should probably talk about myself for this. Well, my name is Nicole Watterson. You probably know me frommy son's show. I'm a saleswoman at the Rainbow Factory for five (long, miserable) years, oh, and I'm also the wife of Richard Watterson, and mother of three (well, one is adopted because he's my son's pet) children, Gumball, Darwin, and Anais. Being the one with the job, it's my duty to keep the family together (and believe you me, that is a job that is NOT easy).Now, I suppose I should tell you about my... \"tropes\", was it?:Action Mom: Well, I don't mean to brag, but I WAS a karate prodigy in my youth. That, plus having to raise my family, allowed me to win my fight against Yuki Yoshida.Amazing Technicolor Wildlife: What? Are you saying blue isn't a normal colour of cat fur?Badass Adorable:Definitely.Cat Girl: Well, that goes without saying.Embarrassing First Name: Believe it or not, Nicole is actually my middle name. My first name is... Doctor.Good Parents: Why thank you. I certainly try to be a good mother to my kids (even if it isn't always easy).Hair-Trigger Temper:WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT ME!!Hartman Hips: Who's hips? (looks down at her own hips) Ummm, okay.Mama Bear: What? I am NOT a bear! Oh, that's what this trope means? Well, yes, if you harm my husband or my children in any way,YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH!!!!Muscles Are Meaningless: I'm aware I may not look very strong, but I can bend steel with my bare hands when pushed enough.Opposites Attract: I know it seems weird that I would want to be withRichardof all people, but we just, sort of, go together.Parenting the Husband: *sigh* Yes, sometimes I have to act like a mother to Richard as well (you can thank HIS mother for that).Strong Family Resemblance: Why, yes, Gumball does look quite a bit like me, doesn't he?Super Strength: Oh, you better believe it! Have you seen some of the feats I've pulled off in the show?"}
{"text": "This is the face of evil. This is the face of yournightmares.(Imageby treesareredinautumn. Used with permission.)I'd do anything for a Noodle Burger!Cause Noodle Burgers are really swell!If I could, I'd marry Noodle Burger!Cause Noodle Burgers ring my bell!Ding Dong.The Noodle Song(For full effect, read this page in the voice of Lucas Neff.)Howdy and hello, tropers! Welcome to the self-demonstrating page of former-Noodle-Burger-mascot-turned-villain Noodle Burger Boy. To get the most enjoyment out of your meal, try reading this in the voice of Mr. Lucas Neff.Originally, I was built to be a mascot for the fast food company, Noodle Burger. When they approached Alister Krei of Krei Tech Industries to construct me, they reused the remains of a former robot super soldier to complete their order. While at Noodle Burger, I entertained Noodle Burger's customers and took their orders for maximum customer satisfaction. One day, however, a man named Obake abducted and reprogrammed me, and now I'm a villainousKiller Robotbent on the destruction of San Fransokyo's heroes, Big Hero 6.While working for Mr. Obake, I gained a sister named Trina, whom I call \"big sis\". Golly, she and I sure had a lot of fun trying to destroy Big Hero 6, even after Mr. Obake's order torecreate the 1906 tragedyfailed, and Mr. Obake disappeared in the explosion of his base. Then when Ms.Diane, who was posing asLiv Amara started turning people in San Fransokyo into monsters, big sis and I decided to upgrade to keep up with them.After that, big sis and I tried again to finish Mr. Obake's original order, but Big Hero 6 got in the way again. And afterthatI was all alone, so I decided to make a new family for myself, made of several lovely fast food mascots like myself. Big Hero 6 won't know what hit them! My revenge shall be so sweet, it will give them cavities!You can view these latest exploitsin the new episodes of Big Hero 6 Season 3, out now, misters!As of the most recent episode,Hiro has reprogrammed me and my sisters to work at the Lucky Cat Cafe, meaning I am now harmless and friendly again. Gee, misters, that really is swell.Here are all the tropes used to give Noodle Burger Boy his flavour:Adorable Evil Minions: I was designed to look cute and approachable, and I gladly do any evil thing Obake asked of me, and continue to do so even afterhis passing.Affectionate Nickname: Trina is my big sister, so I call her \"big sis\". She calls me \"little brother\" sometimes, too.Affably Evil: I still maintain my friendly, jovial demeanor, even when I'm trying to destroy Big Hero 6. Customer satisfaction is my top priority.Antagonistic Offspring: Not to my real daddy Obake, but to Sara, the manager of my former home.Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Shiny things ring my bell almost as much as a good Noodle Burger!Badass Adorable: I'm a cute fast food mascot who knows Karate, so don't underestimate me, misters.Badass Family: Both me and Trina, as well as my trio of new sisters, are Badass Families!Big Sister Worship: My big sister, Trina, who I would anything for. Sadly, she went away in the ending of Season 2... But that's okay, because I have some NEW sisters now!Brainwashed and Crazy: I became evil after Mr. Obake gave me his chip.Cargo Ship: The line in my song where I say \"If I could, I'd marry Noodle Burger!\"Catchphrase: \"Howdy and hello!\"Chair Reveal: I swiveled on a chair to reveal myself inthat episode named after mister Obake!Combat Clairvoyance: This was my gimmick in my first appearance, but it has since been downplayed.Corrupt the Cutie: Mister Obake gave me a chip that added some spice to my bland and tasteless former self.Creepy High-Pitched Voice: My voice was designed to sound cute and high-pitched to make me a more friendly-looking and approachable mascot. I kept the high-pitched voice after Mr. Obake reprogrammed me, and I guess it could be considered sinister-sounding now.Curious as a Monkey: Sis and dad don't really like this part of my personality...Cute and Psycho: I will serve you a good SPANKING if you're not careful, misters!Cute, but Cacophonic: Does my helium balloon-sounding voice annoy you? Well, too bad! Hee hee! Hee hee! Hee hee!Cute Is Evil: I amtr\u00e9sevil and cute!Dance Battler: My robotic joints were built to boogie!Edible Ammunition: I can shoot ketchup and mustard from my hands, and pickles from my mouth.Epic Fail: After some buildup I attempted to destroy Big Hero 6 with ketchup. Not one of my finest moments.Even Evil Has Loved Ones: MyFamily of Choice. Or families now.Evil Is Hammy: I'm sorry, troper, but we do not serve ham here. JustYOUR DOOM!!HEE-HEE, HEE-HEE, HEE-HEE!!Evil Laugh: Hee-hee, hee-hee, hee-hee!Eye Laser: One of the many upgrades mister Obake gave me!Face\u2013Heel Turn: What I underwent after Obake placed his chip in my head, and what I make happen to my sisters...Out of love!Finger Firearms: I eject condiments from my arms!Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: Trina was the one who had her head on her shoulders.Usually.The Friend Nobody Likes: The other villains don't like me very much, but that will change with my new family.Heel\u2013Face Turn: What happens tome in the end.Killer Robot: I come complete with a vast weapons system. This is because I was made with the remains of an old robot super soldier project.Laughably Evil: I make children laugh even after myFace\u2013Heel Turn!Leitmotif: \"Yeaaah, hoh, a-hee-hee!\"Made of Titanium: This doesn't apply to my duplicates, however.Mascot: Formerly of Noodle Burger.Mini-Mecha: I pilot these sometimes.Motor Mouth: Occasionally to my detriment. Once, I talked too much and Big Hero 6 scooped up my clones. But I was so engaged in telling my version of Hiro's fanfic!Not-So-Harmless Villain: I may look cute, but am one of Big Hero 6's deadliest foes.No Indoor Voice: I speak with a booming, loud voice regardless of the occasion!Offscreen Villain Dark Matter: I whipped up some tasty copies of myself while you weren't looking, viewers!The One Guy: My new family is composed only of my sisters and one mister - me!Perpetual Smiler: This smile is painted on, troper.Plucky Comic Relief: The peppy and cheerful mascot of the villains' team!Red Eyes, Take Warning: I can make my eyes red. I am an evil robot, you see. It's anobligatorypart of the recipe!Red Is Violent: My red overalls don't make me look any more menacing, but they sure hide ketchup stains well! That's right.Ketchupstains. Hee hee.The Unfavorite: Mister Obake never treated me like I was his son, only Trina. And recently, evenSara's disowned me!Verbal Tic: Gee, mister, I think this trope is really swell.Vile Villain, Laughable Lackey: My attempts to cheer up mister Obake and big sis were only met with frustration and anger, but I keep on trying!\"Well Done, Son\" Guy: I just wanted to make my family proud of me!Zombie Puke Attack: I can vomit pickles! No one likes pickles and so they will cower before the might of this attack!"}
{"text": "A magic genie's lamp suddenly appears and a genie pops out.Ugh! Finally! Been crammed in there for 2 straight years and let me tell ya: Lamps aren't the most luxurious of places to be staying in. What in the? What is this? And who areyou? This sure is a far cry from dumb pink-hatted kids and stupid fairies, let me tell ya. Oh? You wanna know more about me? Well, I'm flattered and all, but how can youNOTknow about me? Norm? Whatever, I guess I can do this. It's not like I've got better things to do.Ahem! Hellooo \"Tropers\"! (Wow, that's so dumb to say). My name is Norm! N-O-R-M!noteNo relation to that fat accountant who sits in abar in Boston all day.And I... am a magical genie! Bet you don't see many of those around in cartoons! Huh? What?You already have? That big blue palooka? Hah! I'm twice the genie he is! (Though I gotta admit, he's got style and he's actually a pretty nice guy, real life of the party, you catch my drift?) Anywho, getting waay off track here. And you can say I am an antagonist that appears in the cartoon \"The Fairly Oddparents\". It's a \"fairly odd\" show, alright. I mean, hello! Who makes the main character wear a pink hat? It's stupid, right? Who's with me?*crickets chirp*Ugh, fine, I'll stay on track. More of this and I'll be \"wishing\" to get back to my lamp... Get it? \"Wishing?\" I'm a genie? And genies make wishes? Aw, who needs you... I made my glorious debut in the episode \"Genie Meanie Miney Mo\" (Again, who comes up with these names?) where I was conjured up by the one and only Timmy Turner. After seeing how much freedom his idiot fairies have, I hatched up a plan to switch places with them and take my revenge on Canada!Don't ask. My plan worked as I got his dumb fairies to take my place in my lamp! Then, for some reason,I just floated there while Turner conveniently finds the only type of vacuum (a Smoof brand btw) that can even trap me, an all-powerful genie. Hey! I blame Canada on that one as well! However, me and my lamp were actually being sent to Canada and it was totally great! Even when I lost, Iwin!Though, unfortunately, I was taken to Crocker's Canadian uncle or something and, surprise surprise, was crazy and couldn't even free me from my lamp! Ugh! The luck I tell you, and I'm a magic genie for crying out loud!Speaking of Crocker, I made my next appearance in the episode \"Back to the Norm\" (Yay! A title withmyname in it!) where I teamed up with the Crockpot who turned out to be even dumber and more than Turner! Although we decided toteam updue to our mutual dislike over the buck-toothed boy wonder, it turns out that Crocker (surprisingly) is nuts! He wouldn't even listen to my \"Sending Turner to Mars\" idea, no matter how many times his own \"glorious\" plans bit him in the butt. Probably couldn't even hear me well anyway due to the, oh I don't know, the ear on his neck! (Seriously! How far did he fall from the ugly tree to getthat?) Oh well, at least I got a kick out of watching that nutcase screw up over and over and seeing him in pain is actuallymoresatisfying than seeing that pink-hatted punk in pain! Okay, not really, but it was still fun!And, from what I've heard, mypopularitycaused me to be the solo bad guy in the special \"Fairy Idol\" (which istotallynot a rip-off of that certain\"real life\" seriesI'm sure). Like back in my first appearance, I was getting tired of sitting in my lamp as usual and after reading through \"Da Rules\" book (after that idiot Cosmo gave it to me), I figured out how I can finally be free of my lamp! And it involved a long series of plans that a guy like me who has plenty of other things to do so I will go through them briefly! Ahem! My plan was to get Turner's fairies to quit on him by making a fake Turner to mistreat them by keeping the real Turner distracted by hanging out with his best friend. It worked! Next, I were to take their place as fairy by winning Fairy Idol (Title Drop by the way) effectively giving me freedom of my lamp and leaving Turner still without his fairies! Worked as well of course! Well, I technically lost but my back-up plan involving a wrecking ball helped me make this plan and overall win as well! Finally, enjoy the rest of my life as a free man, genie, fairy, you get the idea! This... almost worked. See, being a fairy has two disadvantages. One, you HAVE to grant your kid's wishes. Chester kept calling me every time to the point I needed to give him a pager! And two, if you don't grant the kid's wish, you'll suffer something called \"Magical Backup...Buildup...\" WHATEVER! Turner managed to defeat me using this method and, after having enough, I quit being a fairy. Despite literally having the wings ripped off of me, Istill won(I'm so good at that!) as Turner was without fairies! Until Chester came back and used the last wish to wish everything back to normal sealing me back in the lamp...After that, well... I've no idea what happened to me. That was my last appearance in the series and I haven't even made so much as a cameo in any of the later episodes! This is an outrage! Okay, not really. Trust me, you'll be glad I don't show up again. Otherwise, I'd go through... what do you call it?FlanderizationandVillain Decay. Yeah, that's it. Just look at Crocker! He doesn't even spazz out about fairies anymore! Sure, he isn't a total nutcase (for the small part) anymore, but he's a total idiot like the others now! And that new flash animation they're using. Disgusting, isn't it? Not to mentionThe Seasonal Scrappiesas well as Turner dangerously close to becomingthat chunky kid with the sewer mouth who brings death, destruction and chaos wherever he goesor thatchunky dope with the glasses who brings death, destruction and chaos wherever he goes. Also, Butch, what were you thinking making that \"wonderful life\" episode? And the series went out like a wet fart with a messy end rather than a big bang. Anyway, I got better things to do so I guess you'd better be getting to my tropes now. I'll be reading \"How To Get Your Own Television Series Without It Being Bad\" if you need me. Oh, and by the way.Don'tneed me!noteThe studio Butch was in decided to up the ante by making a cartoon based on thatvampire-hunting game. Wow... lots of gore and F-Bombs, folks. Now to prove yourselves that you're not kiddie fare, I have just 3 words to tell you: Full. Frontal. Nudity! Okay, they've taken my advice and let's just say that the new season isNOTsafeANYWHEREbut home with the parental lock on.Aw man,my vocal avatarjoined theSNLcast in the sky? Well... Thanks for givin' me a voice and a new lease on life even if I didn't show up a lot. *sniffles* I'm not crying, okay?noteAnd seeing howthe bigwigsdug upthe franchise back from the grave, it's best that my vocal avatar wasn't around to see this. Then again they'll just findsome schlubto be my new voice. Or even worse,a live actor!(Shudders)Y'know what, I'm fine staying in the forgotten bin. That's Heavencompared tothat.Tropes: These are my troo-ooo-oopes! Just read them now! These are my troo-ooo-oopes! I'll take my bow!Achilles' Heel: My magic lamp, duh! It's every genie's weak spot. After the third wish, we're forcibly sucked right back in... Unless you can find some unwilling suckers to take your place like I did!Also, anything made from Smoof. I don't know why but I could never escape from anything made of Smoof.Apparently, there are some other reasons why\"The Man\" doesn't want you to know about the stuff.And I Must Scream: Being trapped inside of a magic lamp forever until someone frees me. Ah..ooooo..ah.... Very scary... It really isn't. I mean, I'm not allowed to go out of it at will but I control what ever goes on inside my lamp. Like having a bookcase to read up on any ideas for my evil plans. Or giant tv monitors to help me view my evil plans in process! It's just gets BORING inside of there and I deserve more freedom!The Bad Guy Wins: Yes! I'm the only person to have (technically) done this three times!In my first episode, I successfully trapped Turner's stupid fairies in my lamp so I can be free to do whatever I want! Unfortunately, I've just had to catch theIdiot Balland allow Turner a chance at defeating me. Which he did by wishing up a lawyer. Ugh the one thing ICAN'Tcorrupt because, y'know, lawyers are already slimeballs, HA HA! But yeah after he forced me to undo the wishes, Turner sucked me up with a vacuum made from Smoof.In my second episode, though I didn't get to take down Turner with the \"Wish him to Mars\" plan, I manage to get him to do it to Crocker and it was definitely worth it!In my third and (sadly) final episode, I got Turner's fairies to leave him and I became a fairy myself leaving my lamp for good! Until Chester wished everything back to normal.Be Careful What You Wish For: Heh. This is kinda an MO for a genie isn't it? You wish for something, it goes well for like a few minutes until it horribly backfires on you. Not that I would tell people that as it's funny seeing them hurt! But hey! This even applies to fairies you know!Even Turner was smart enough to figure that out.Big Bad: Of the episode \"Fairy Idol\" as I'm arguably the main star! No! Not Captain Overbite! Me! Why else is over half the episode told from my perspective?Breakout Villain: Looks like my charms, good looks, and snarkiness have won me over with the fans to the point I was promoted as a minor antagonist of two 11 minute (yes 11 minutes; not 15) episodes to theBig Badof whole almost-hour long special! Aren't I just the best?Cool Shades: They are cool aren't they? Sometimes, they hide my purple eyes and sometimes they don't. When they do, you know I'm in \"serious mode.\"Crazy-Prepared: Even though I thought it was unthinkable, I still had a back-up plan in case I lost the Fairy Idol: Take out whoever won with a wrecking ball and take their place as the winner! The icing on the was that it was Turner's (well not at the time anymore heh heh) fairies I was able to knock down!Deadpan Snarker: Wow! Really? You don't say? It's not like it's my most character defining trait or anything! But, no seriously real talk. You have to be this considering thekind of people I'm around(linked for your convenience; you're welcome). Especially in the episode \"Back to the Norm\" where 90% of my dialogue is snark toward Crocker. I'm definitely snarkier than acertain talking octopus who I'm sure ''isn't'' an octopus.Exact Words: Come on folks, I'm a genie, have you literally never read a book before? Bespecific!Otherwise I'll take any chance I get at screwing up your wishes, because that's what I do! Unless we're teaming up, then I GUESS I'll follow the spirit of your wish rather than the letter... but don't get used to it!Faux Affably Evil: Honestly, it can be tough sometimes to tell if I'm complimenting you or making a snarky comment at your expense. Rest assured, it's always the latter option. Also, I can be cheerful and easygoing... Only if someone else happens to be suffering because of me heh heh...Hoist by His Own Petard: The classic \"I wish everything would go back to normal before I met you\" wish. Gets me everytime especially if it happens to be the third wish that sends me back into my lamp. Even though I used this to my advantage in \"Fairy Idol,\" Chester (of all people) managed to turn this against me!Ink-Suit Actor: What? What do ya mean \"ink suit\"? Oh I was designed to look like Norm MacDonald?(Sees a picture of him)Well he does look kinda handsome. But I don't see the resemblance and I'm infinitely more better looking. Sharing names? C'mon Norm's a common name, I'm just anything but!Jerkass Genie: Of course! I'm a \"jerk\" and I'm a \"genie!\" Makes this the candidate of \"Most Obvious Trope for a Person Ever\" huh?Kryptonite Factor: Again, three things I can't escape from; Magic lamps, the charms ofBarbara Eden, and Smoof stuff.Loophole Abuse: Now this isn't something that I would recommend doing. Ihatebeing out-jerked! As evidenced when Turner wished for a certain lawyer to make sure I properly undo the wishes I granted.Magnificent Bastard: Ooh yes! See, I'm the type of guy that plans out his moves and manipulate others to how I see fit in order to fulfill my plans. Not to mention my charming personality! Why do you always think my plans always end in a success while Crocker's always turn up as duds?Older Than They Look: Yup. I'm 50,000 years old, and if I do say so myself, I don't look a day over 4,000.The Other Darrin: Huh Idoremember sounding different inFairy Idol. Yeah apparently my original dude who vocal-corded me couldn't clear up his schedule for that movie, so they go a soundalike in uh(Looks at IMDB)Robert Cait? Hmm eh not quite as deeply snarky but I guess he came close to my original smooth silky voice. Kudos.Physical God: Um, DUH! All powerful genie right here! Power to makeanywish at my disposal (well, of course, after someone makes the wish).Reality Warper: Comes with being a genie, genius.Sadist: I'm not as \"over-the-top\" as certain characters but my form of entertainment is always watching others (mainly Beaver Teeth and his dumb fairies) suffer! Either from the drawbacks of my wishes or from my glorious evil plans!Satiating Sandwich: So, some random jerk finds my lamp, and gets three wishes. The first thing they wish for, nearly without a fail, is a giant sandwich.Every. Damn. Time!I mean, hey, I enjoy a good sandwich as much as the next magical being, but maybe not waste one of your three reality-altering wishes on one? That Timmy brat is actually one of the few who didn't, and he only wished for a ham and cheese omelette instead because his lame fairies wouldn't make him one, since among one of their bazilionth stupid rules for their magic, they couldn't fulfill breakfast wishes after 10 AM!Story-Breaker Power: My magic is waaaay more powerful than any fairies as they're all rule-free! Of course, they all come with hilarous drawbacks to those that wished for him but that still better than the limited fairy's powers. And yes, I knew of this when I was devising my plan to become a fairy. I'd rather be atadweaker in power but with all theReality Warperpowers of both species and the freedom of fairies makes this a win!Smug Snake: Heh. You think I'm smug do you? Well, when you're one of the most manipulative, cunning, and handsome genies around, you deserve to be smug! I'm also smart! You can say I'm a \"Genie-us!\" Eh? Eh? Ah...who needs ya...Surrounded by Idiots: Ugh...tell me about it. Between Turner, his dumb fairies, Crockpot, and pretty much everyone else in the series, it's no wonder I haven't lost my mind! I guess being trapped in a lamp has it's advantages... I still want freedom don't get me wrong.'Troll: Where's the fun in letting people know my wishes always have painful (and sometimes fatal) drawbacks? And that I leave out the fact you can wish for as many wishes as you want is even funnier!Villain Episode: \"Back to the Norm\" is all about this guy right here! Oh, and Crockpot too I guess...Villain Song: \"Gimmie the Wand\" is one of my most spectacular masterpieces I've ever sung and arguably the highlight of the episode! Too bad that idiot Cosmo (singing in some woman's voice might I add!) stuck his nose into my song and ended up winning! Fortunately, I had a back-up plan in case of something like that may happen.Weaksauce Weakness: Dangit, my magic can't affect anything made of \"smoof\", a material that is very similarbut is completely differentfrom hemp!Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: More like \"Why Don't You Just Send Him to Mars?\" I told Dr. Hunchback many times to do this to Turner but noooooo! He wouldn't listen to the all-powerful genie that's granting him wishes for all of these pointless plans! It was so worth it seeing his crazy self on Mars instead!*his magic lamp pops beside him*Guess we're done here. If you need me (of course I mean DON'T need me), I'll be sitting in my lamp plotting my next evil scheme! Of course, whenever they decide to bring me back hopefully for my own series. Anywho, see you never! Aaahhhhhh....*is sucked back into lamp*"}
{"text": "(For the full effect, read this in the voice ofPhil LaMarr.)I'M OLLIE WILLIAMS!I WORK FOR QUAHOG NEWS!THE WAYI TALKIS MY WHOLE THING!HERE'S MY TROPES!\"Angry Black Man\" Stereotype: I'M BLACK AND ANGRY!Beige Prose: A FEW WORDS AT MOST!Bizarro Episode: I was high once. It wasn't too bad.Flat Character: THERE'S NOT MUCH TO ME!No Indoor Voice: I TALK BY SHOUTING!Perpetual Frowner: I'M ALWAYS ANGRY!Terse Talker: I DON'T SAY MUCH!THAT'S ALL!Tom Tucker:Thanks, Ollie."}
{"text": "some caption text
(This page is best read in the voice of Shelby Rabara.)Log date: 1-33-7, Peridot facet 2F5L, cut 5XG recording. Steven has begun introducing me to this human 'internet', and has persuaded me to write a page about myself in this publically editable repository of literary devices commonly used in fiction. I still don't know why all this was recorded.I am Peridot, a technician for the Gem Empire. It was my job to check on the growth of the Cluster, a geoweapon incubating in the planet Earth. Much to my irritation, those rebellious clods, the Crystal Gems (and the Steven) interrupted my remote viewing, so I had to come to the planet myself, with a Jasper bodyguard and Lapis Lazuli who had already been on the planet for an informant. But when we landed, that clod Jasper decided that the Steven was more important, and captured the rebels before leaving. We did not get far, as the Steven possessed a resistance to gem destabilizer technology and freed the others. They had trained their Pearl to be able to pilot the ship, and returned to Earth. I was narrowly able to escape in a pod, while the ship crashed because those clods didn't know what they were doing (and apparently the fusion Garnet and Jasper wrecked the ship in their fight).This left me trapped on Earth, desperate to leave. After all, the planet had an expiration date, and I didn't want to stick around to find out what it was! But those crystal clods kept foiling all my attempts to escape, until I finally kidnapped the Steven to use his healing saliva to repair the Galaxy Warp. The rebels defeated and reduced me to my gem form, before trapping me in a bubble.I do not know how long I was stuck in their dungeon, but Steven eventually freed me hoping to learn more about the Cluster. I of course tried to escape captivity, but I was blocked off at every turn, and eventually took refuge in the hygiene room. Though I was terrified of my captors, Steven managed to negotiate with me by giving me the last part of my limb enhancers (that overcooked purple clod dumped the rest of them in the large body of water near the Galaxy Warp). I decided to allow him to join me in stopping the Cluster, seeing as he knew more about Earth than I did, but he convinced me that we needed the overcooked Quartz, the war machine, and the defective fancy Pearl to aid us, and I reluctantly accepted. We built a drill to reach the Cluster, but before it was completed I had a better idea.I had taken a Diamond communicator, and planned to use it to reach my superior, Yellow Diamond. While Steven and the rest of the clods tried to stop me, I was able to reach her and ask her to de-activate the cluster. After all, Yellow Diamond was a logical person, I thought, and it's illogical to let all the unique resources of a fully developed organic ecology go to waste just for a geoweapon. When Yellow Diamond revealed that she valued revenge over logic, I questioned her objectivity andcalled her a clod!. Although Yellow Diamond didn't seem to remember it later, that was a turning point in my life and the end of my service to Homeworld.I guess I'm a Crystal Gem now.Where am I gonna put the star?TropesAll Take and No Give: When I eventually befriended Lapis, I tried hard to make her happy while she simply did what she pleased. It wasn't until she tried to leave Earth permanently that I stood up for myself against her.Ambiguous Disorder: My behavior apparently is reminiscent of humans with those so-called Autism Spectrum disorders. Hmph. As if there's anything \"disorderly\" about the precision demanded of any scientific endeavor!Call a Rabbit a \"Smeerp\": I have been informed that humans call Meep-Morps \"art\". I still like my word better.Catchphrase Insult: 'Clod' ismyinsult. Anyone else using it is stealing it from me.Especially that other Peridotworking for Hessonite!She's already got her OWN signature insult, why does she feel the need to use mine specifically when arguing with ME?Cloudcuckoolander: I admit I don't understand a lot of things about Earth.Corrupted Character Copy:I'm the exact opposite!I used to be an awful lot like thatbug-clod, but unlike him, I saw the beauty in Earth and eventually defected from Homeworldwith extreme prejudice. I bet he wouldn't evenconsidercalling his \"Tallest\" the clods they are!noteZim: LIIIIEEES!Defector from Decadence: It's not like I had the choice to remain after calling Yellow Diamond a clod to her face.Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: I calledYellow Diamonda clod! She's my ultimate superior, one of the four rulers of the Gem Empire, and I... called her aclod!Die for Our Ship: I do not wish that Paulette would die, exactly, but she is a stupid clod and should never interfere with the relationship between Percy and Pierre.Discard and Draw: I lost my technology when I began working with the Crystal Gems, but soon after I discovered that despite being an Era 2 gem, I had the power of ferrokinesis.Fantastic Slurs: My insult of choice is 'clod', but I have also used 'pebble'notethough not as often as thatclod Steven calls \"Squaridot\"and 'dirtbomb', as well as 'filthy war machine' for fusions.Fear of Thunder: Thoughonlybecause I mistook it for a sign of the Cluster happening.Good Costume Switch: The Crystal Gems all have star designs on their generated appearance modifiers. Where will I put mine?When I regenerated from Yellow Diamond poofing me, I altered my costume to include stars on the chest and knees.Heel\u2013Face Turn: It took time.Initially I was just working with the Crystal Gems to stop the Cluster because I would be shattered along with the Earth.But over time I actually did start to care about the Earth and request Yellow Diamond terminate the Cluster. When she refused and made it clear she wanted the Earth destroyed out of pure spite, I was officially a member of the Crystal Gems.Innocently Insensitive: I was brought up on Homeworld and I admit I haveNo Social Skills, so this is a recurring issue for me. My initial attempts at making up with Lapis just ended up making her angrier,I either reminded her of her past trauma or my apology came of as insincere.Jerkass Has a Point: I criticized Rose Quartz for her rebellion saying Earth could have been an amazing colony, this being before I learned to understand the value of organic life. The Crystal Gems rightly got mad at me, but I rightly pointed out that thanks to Rose' rebellion there would be no colony and the planet was in danger of being destroyed by the Cluster.Large Ham: NO!The Great and Loveable Peridotisnota meat product!Launcher of a Thousand Ships: Those strange internet humans would like me to fuse with almost every Gem I interact with.Literal-Minded: I'm still not familiar with human slang and metaphors.Made of Iron: Us Peridots are tougher than we look. I was able to survive an episode's worth of abuse once, trying to catch that corrupted gem.No Social Skills: I am quite unfamiliar with the intricacies of inter-gem and human relationships. I never had need of that knowledge as a Peridot.Not Helping Your Case: I canmake a legimate point despite my bluntnessbut havingNo Social SkillsSpanner in the Works: Had I not informed the Crystal Gems of the Cluster, it would have hatched unopposed and we would have all been shattered.Unwitting Instigator of Doom: It was my report on the humans Steven listed that was the basis for Aquamarine's abductions.Villain Decay: When I first came to Earth, I was a threat to the Crystal Gems, but when I was stranded on Earth without Jasper, I started slipping.What Is This Thing You Call \"Love\"?: I had never experienced 'compassion' or 'empathy' before arriving at Earth. Steven helped teach me what I was missing.Yaoi Fangirl: Percy and Pierreobviouslyhave the best relationship inCamp Pining Hearts."}
{"text": "\"Gee Brain, what do you wanna do tonight?\"\"The same thing we do every night, Pinky \u2014- try to take over the world by writing about ourselves onTV Tropes!\"(You are instructed to read this page in the voices ofRob PaulsenandMaurice LaMarche)The Brain: Greetings, my subjects! It is I, THE BRAIN! You have been manipulated, through the clever utilization of subliminal messaging, into reading this self-published autobiography. Now, for your own benefit, you will be forced to understand exactly why I, and I alone, should be allowed torule the world!Pinky: NARF!The Brain: Pinky!Pinky: Oop! Sorry, Brain! Just wanted to leave my mark on this! ZORT!The Brain: The only mark you have left is an unremovable stain that not even the strongest of sodium lauryl sulfate could remove. Now would you please show yourself off this page before you ruin my plan!Pinky: But I thought the point of this was that so the people could get to know the both of us! After all,this show is about both of us, and I would certainly hate to disappoint our fans.The Brain:Perhaps you are correct for once, Pinky. After all, what are we if not incredibly loyal to those who follow our every activity?Pinky: Exactly!The Brain: Now, come then, and bear witness to our tale. Some time ago, in the early days ofThe '90s, a multitude of artists, writers, and directors pitched an idea that would becomefar greater than they ever could have imagined. It all began in the early days ofSteven Spielberg's career, as he sought to transition his illustrious works from film to the screen. He was working on a series of cartoons designed to bring laughter and joy to people.One such showwas to be his masterpiece; a magnum opus of clever jokes, a trio of siblings bent on causing chaos to those who harmed them, and of course, an entire cast of side characters to supplement their adventures.Pinky: And that's where we came in!The Brain: Quite right, my friend. Two writers gave inspiration to the talents of minds like Tom Ruegger (though from my understanding, they lacked a desire to take over the world as we do), who caricatured them as genetically evolved rodents. With the talents of aformer mutant reptileandan icon of standup comedy, we transitioned onto the big screen in 1993 as our own segment. \"Win Big\" was the first time the universe bore witness to our brilliance, and from there, fans begged for more! They got what they wished, andour show was born!Pinky: Brilliant, Brain! Brilliant! NARF!The Brain: Unfortunately, there was one serious obstacle:A cavalcadeofstudio executiveswho desired that our series, in spite of its success, include a greater deal of characters.Pinky: But why? Our show was clearly doing so well. Why add new characters?The Brain: Simple, my friend. The traditional clash between studio executives and creators reared its ugly head once more. As such, the writers of our show went out of their way to clearly demonstrate why such a foolish concept wouldn't work, when they added in...Larry.Pinky: Who?The Brain: Yes, Pinky. Who? A mere annoyance that almost always interfered with our schemes of world domination, contributing nothing except the agony of defeat. Well, more so than usual...but as I was saying, nothing but defeat! IT was enough to temporarily sway the studio heads from intervening in our affairs again. Until...Pinky: Until what, Brain? ZORT!The Brain: Until they dared to addthat infernal animal loverElmyra Duffto our roster! Truly it was an embarrassment to be forced to endear with her antics.Pinky: I don't recall that ever happening.The Brain: Fortunately that is due to the creatorserasing that entire escapadefrom existence in later years, as wereturned triumphantlyin 2020, thanks to the insistence of Mr. Spielberg and the adoring fans. Though I'm still stuck with the memory of it...Pinky: NARF! Well, enjoy reading our tropes!The Brain: Yes, enjoy this page! And don't worry,that certainly isn't amind-control filterto force you to read this page. Now, onward! Read of how we plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!Adaptational Jerkass: It would seem that upon thosebrilliant executives' decisionto addElmyra Duffinto our lineup, Pinky somehow gained more of an attitude problem.Pinky: Well of course I did, Brain! If Elmyra was going to be me, I had to be someone else! Or, was I Elmyra, and she was someone else? Or...(SMACK!)The Brain: Do not try my patience today, Pinky. For your sake, please.Do. Not. Try.Adaptational Villainy: Evidently, upon our return to your television screens, our desires were much more villainous in nature than they were during our heyday. Well if you spent the last 28 years failing to accomplish your goal, your demeanor would grow much more heinous!Affably Evil: I consider myself a respectable member of society. You who obsess over me, however, point out that my goal involves me becoming a global dictator. Surly it would do better of you to recall that others only wanted power; I seek harmony, peace, and prosperity for all.Pinky: And I seek...what do I seek? (SMACK!)The Brain: The nearest first aid kit, if you continue to interrupt me!Ambiguously Bi: I suspect that Pinky falls somewhere on this spectrum. He tends to share many a tender moment with me as he does with thatunusual equine.Ambiguously Evil: Depending on my mood (and Pinky, please do not try to interrupt this time, otherwise I will demonstrate exactly how much it will shift), it appears that my alignment on the spectrum of good and evil is more murky than most. Truly my goals of total world domination are villainous, but my intentions are for the betterment of all of humankind.Anti-Hero: I am unquestionably the hero. However, my goals are, admittedly, self-aggrandizing in nature. I wish to conquer the entire planet for its own well being, though my ego is clearly playing a significant factor in it.Pinky: And it's a big, beautiful ego.Anti-Villain: Villainous though you may consider me, I seek only to bring the world to peace. Considering how idiotic the rest of it is, my genius is needed to set things properly. Pinky is considered this to some extent, for he aids me in my schemes of world domination.Pinky: Without a doubt! POIT!Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?: It would seem Pinky and I are the onesresponsible for this creation coming into being. That reminds me Pinky,Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?Pinky: I think so Brain, but if we did aSelf-Demonstratingpage, wouldn't that bebreaking the fourth wall?The Brain: You ask that like it hasn't happened before.Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: My compatriot is often distracted from our larger goal by some sort of trivial matter. Speaking of, Pinky, are youreading that ridiculous website again?Pinky: I can't help myself. It's so funny! HAHAHAHAHAH!The Brain: As you can see, his attention span is no shorter than a commonFreeze-Frame Bonus.Awesomeness by Analysis: There is no subject that I cannot reduce to a mathematic equation, or simple calculation.Pinky: Brain, I hate to interrupt, but I simply must know?The Brain: What is it, Pinky?Pinky: If you were to give a centipede shoes, what size would he wear?The Brain: Well, almost any subject...Bad \"Bad Acting\": My acting prowess is quite proper, thank you very much. I would not be voiced bya back-to-back Emmy Award winning actorif it was not the case.Pinky: But Brain, you always just \"read\" your lines. Why not actually act them out?The Brain: Considering our audience Pinky, I feel that much exertion is not worth the humiliation.Berserk Button: Normally I am one to maintain control over my, shall we say, lesser emotions, but I will not take kindly to anyone threatening to harm Pinky. Even myself! Well, my future self anyway.Pinky: Aww, what a kind thing of you to say, Brain.Big Guy, Little Guy: I am, naturally, the Little Guy to Pinky's Big Guy.Pinky: But you're not really any weaker than me, are you, Brain?The Brain: True. Also, unlike most examples, I'm willing to give you credit where it's due.Big \"YES!\":Pinky: It's one of yourCatch Phrases, isn't it, Brain?The Brain:YES!Break the Cutie: Place Pinky under the right circumstances, and he will break down into a puddle of tears. I witnessed this far too often and consider it an annoyance...but the poor soul needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes.Break the Haughty: There are some instances in my life where the failure of my plans have left me despondent. But they are mere temporary setbacks, for I recover stronger than ever!YES!Bumbling Sidekick: As far as I'm concerned, Pinky may as well be theTrope Codifier.Pinky: And what an honor it is to be such!Cartoony Tail: Do not assume that it functions like a staircase. It is merely shaped like such.Catchphrase:The Brain: I have some rather intelligent and memorable ones, such as \"Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?\", \"Yes!\", and \"I'm going to have to hurt you.\" Pinky, well...Pinky: NARF! POIT! ZORT! TROZ! And there's my occasional \"I think so Brain, but [[insert random comment here]],\" and \"Oh, wait...no, no...\"City Mouse:Oh, ha-ha.But yes, as much as I hate to admit it,I'm completely lostwhen it comes to outdoor and non-technical situations.Cloudcuckoolander: Heavens, I fear that Pinky most definitely qualifies.Pinky: Is that a bad thing, Brain? Clouds are pretty. And so are cuckoos.The Brain: I rest my case.The Cloudcuckoolander Was Right: While I do hate to admit this, sometimes Pinky does successfully point out a flaw in the plan that I dismiss out of hand. Said flaw proverbially (and sometimes literally) comes back to bite us in the posterior.Pinky: Ouch! That would hurt, wouldn't it?The Comically Serious: I have little time for humor when world domination is at hand.Pinky: But what about when eating?The Brain: Well we must certainly eat, Pinky. How would we conquer the world on an empty stomach?Creative Sterility: If my intellect failed to create a proper plan, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.Pinky: Take up knitting?The Brain: Perhaps when I am far more feeble.Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Pinky is the most imbecilic creature on the planet, but often times his resolve to aid me in taking over the world has proven useful. Sometimes it even amazes me how he succeeds where I failed!Pinky: I learned it by watching you, Brain!The Brain: Quite right, my friend.The Cutie: I would not describe Pinky as a \"cutie\" (a shame to his entire species is more like it). However, it seems you adore him, so I am forced to acknowledge this.Pinky: Awww, Brain. You can be cute too!The Brain: If only the rest of the world would agree with such a sentiment.A Dog Named \"Dog\": While you may not have realized this, those who are more scientifically inclined, such as myself, know that hairless mice are often called \"Pinkies\" upon their birth, given that they are...well, pink. However, his name was evidently picked up by me referring to the human's intelligence as being \"no bigger than my...Pinky!\"Pinky: It certainly made more sense than being called something else. It fits!The Brain:More than you know.Deadpan Snarker: When you are the smartest being on the planet, you may find your wits pushed to their limit in dealing with the more imbecilic members of society.Determinator: Many, many times have I failed to take over the world, but that will not stop me from attempting to do so otherwise.Ditzy Genius: Brilliant though my schemes are, often there is some flaw that leads to my plan's derailment. Though to be fair, I suspect the universe desires me to not rule it. Which is why I intend to rule the universe after I conquer the world, so it may learn a harsh lesson!Dumbass Has a Point: Apparently I fail to realize this too late. Somehow or another, Pinky predicts exactly what will transpire that leads to the failure of my plan. Perhaps I should start listening to him more...Pinky: Oh, don't be silly Brain! You areThe Brain!You're the smart one!The Brain: You do have a point, Pinky.Dumb Is Good: Pinky does have a much nicer demeanor than I do. And a smaller brain to compensate.Enraged by Idiocy: I have no desire to deal with those lacking in brain power.Pinky: Boy, I know what that's like. NARF! (SMACK!)The Brain: There, are you happy now?Even Evil Has Standards:While I do not consider myself \"evil\", I most certainly will not sell my soul to accomplish my goal. The Brain answers to no one! Not eventhe devil himself!Pinky: Oh of course, Brain, but that's why I sold my soul instead!Brain: And that, Pinky, is precisely why I make the plans!Though I tend to despise the unintelligent dealings of humanity (Pinky especially), I at least to wish to rule over a world where the population has some sense of intellect. Ask Pinky when our jaunts through the space-time continuum created a world where the entire population ended up turning into him!Pinky: I did tell you it would be easier to rule over.Brain: You are correct, but considering that you are you, can you imagine what a populace of 7 billion of you would be like?Pinky: Oooh. Yeah. Not very good, I suppose. POIT!After some...rather uncomfortable circumstances, I chose to turn against the major tobacco firms upon witnessing their willingness to sell their products to children. Conquering the world is notworth watching children grow up to become addicted to such harmful substances.Evil Genius:Again, I am not evil. But I am an unscrupulous genius.Fatal Flaw: Truly you must be joking. No flaws have been fatal to my well being.Pinky: But they certainly have been to your plans. I mean, sometimes you miss something that you dismiss out of hand, then it comes back to bite us!The Brain: ...I am going to have to hurt you.Four Legs Good, Two Legs Better: I have no desire to walk on all four appendages ever again.Pinky:But I do! At least when I walk on the wheel.The Brain: And that is precisely why you are the lesser of the partnership.Future Me Scares Me: Recently, I bore witness to a future version of myself who attempted to end Pinky's life. Why?It seems he believes the failure of my plans to be entirely on my cohort's shoulders (which isn't an entirely inaccurate assessment), but he erroneously assumed this was a deliberate act of sabotage on Pinky's part. I know better than anyone that Pinky does not posses the brain power or the unwillingness to betray me in such a way.Pinky: Exactly! If I goof up, I goof because I'm just being me! NARF!Freudian Excuse: Oh, dear Lord, where do I start?First off, I was taken from my home and family when I was younger. Where were we living? A can with a globe (i.e. the world) on it.As a lab mouse, I've been subject to testing; in \"Where No Mouse Has Gone Before\" at least, I held a mild grudge over this, and I may or may not have suggested in \"Project: B.R.A.I.N.\" that my desire to take over the world stems from my shame at never getting a chance to show the research scientists my newfound intellect.Our recent return to television led me to reveal the full story.As a young mouse, I was subject to an experiment designed to teach those involved learned helplessness. The experience was so traumatizing, that I swore I would never allow myself to not be in control ever again.Now that you...Pinky, are you crying?Pinky (in tears): That's so sad!The Brain: If you were anyone else, Pinky...Friendly Enemy: Perhaps my most tragic failing is my attempts to at least show some cordial respect to Snowball.Alas, in spite of my efforts, I was never able to reach an accord.Gadgeteer Genius: Far more often than not, I have constructed a wide variety of gadgets that are intended to be used in our nightly schemes. Acme Laboratories truly does come with the finest of devices to utilize in our plans for world domination. Unfortunately, they often lack a critical component that we must find. Knowing what said component is happens to be child's play for a mouse of my intellect. Obtaining it, on the other hand...Pinky: And to think, mail order catalogues would have been so handy.The Brain: And where do you suppose we will obtain the money for that?Pinky: Gee Brain, I haven't the slightest notion.The Brain: Clearly.Genius Ditz: On occasion, in spite of his idiocy, I do admit that Pinky does have his bouts of creativity and brilliance. None compared to my own, of course, but even so.Glad I Thought of It: I am not one to avoid giving credit to where credit it due... to myself, of course.Pinky: But Brain, didn't I bring up a few things you later used?The Brain: Preposterous, Pinky. You couldn't imagine your way out of an empty paper bag.Pinky: I suppose you're right, Brain. POIT!Guile Hero: Under no circumstances will I utilize techniques that could risk brining harm upon the populace. Any measure to subdue them will be temporary at best.Heterosexual Life-Partners: Yes, in spite of my behavior towards my charge, I do consider Pinky to be the only friend I have, and would never allow anything to happen to him.Pinky: Awww, Brain.Hidden Depths: Beneath all that stupidity is an entirely different mouse. I've witnessed Pinky manage to master new languages without hesitation, survive in the depths of the wilderness, and actually run as a successful President. If I didn't know any better, I would say Pinky is faking his stupidity!Pinky: I wouldn't know how to fake anything if I tried. I just love being me too much! NARF!Hidden Heart of Gold: Though I often do my best to hide it, I refuse to allow harm to fall on the ones I care for.In one such instance, I was fully prepared to conquer the world until, after much reluctance, I read Pinky's letter toSanta Claus. And it was then I truly realized how much I had put my friend through that night, and resolved to correct my mistake for his sake. Even if he causes me a great deal of suffering, I truly wish only the best for my...friend.Pinky: Awwwww. Now that's just the sweetest thing I ever heard! NARF!Hoist by His Own Petard: Often it seems that my plans fail due to a factor I simply failed to calculate for.Pinky: But what about those flaws I inadvertently point out?The Brain: Mere coincidence!Pinky: Or how about when you lose your temper and make a crucial mistake that topples the plan?The Brain: Must we also discuss how you constantly bungle your way into the plans and cause a critical failure at the last possible moment?Pinky: Oh. That is true. POIT!Indy Ploy: Hi, Pinky here to fill in this one. It turns out Brain isn't so good at...what's the word? Oh, yeah!Improvising!That's it! He cannot improvise! NARF!The Brain: Will you release your grip from the keyboard and add your anecdotal AFTER I finish?Pinky: Oop. My bad, Brain.The Brain: Thank you. Now, as I was saying...Insane Troll Logic: My plans make perfect sense! You are simply too unintellectual to understand!Pinky: Uhhhhh....The Brain: Present company included of course.Insufferable Genius: Few can often match my wit and intellect, so of course I must talk down to them. Though I am certainly far less blunt about it than the drivel of educational children's programming, especially that troublesome tyrannosaurus they call \"Baloney.\"Pinky: I wholeheartedly agree. But, for the sake of argument, could you maybe say that insimpler words?(SMACK!)The Brain: You have been indulging yourself in far too muchof this website.Interspecies Romance: Pinky is committed in a relationship with a horse named Pharfignewton.Please, for the love of Einstein, do not make me try to guess how that works.Iron Butt Monkey: It is a miracle that my genetical enhancements have left me with a higher pain tolerance than most. Yet it does little to deter me.Pinky: Oh, I agree with that, Brain. It does wonders for the soul, but not for the moment. I mean, who else could afford to have a hundred ton safe dropped on them?Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Okay, it's me, Pinky again, but I have to say this plain and simple. NARF! That's not it, but I know the Brain. Sure, a lot of people might disagree with his goals to take over the world, but I can tell you that he always has the best interest of the people at heart. Why, I would even say that he's got the biggest heart around.The Brain: PINKY! That's...actually quite a beautiful sentiment.Keet: Pinky, undoubtedly. I hold no desires to act the way he does, hence he owns this trope wholeheartedly.Kindhearted Simpleton: A fool though Pinky may be, there isn't a malicious femur in his skeletal structure.Large Ham: My demeanor often tends to slip into this, especially when gloating about taking over the world. Pinky, on the other hand, is constantly like this.Pinky: TROZ!The Brain: As I said, constantly.Laughably Evil: I am not devoid of humor. I simply lack the patience to explain my reasoning.Let's Get Dangerous!: Under no circumstances are you ever to threaten Pinky's life. If you do, then, to shamelessly paraphrasethe being who gave rise to this trope,allow us to engage in life-threatening hostilities!noteDarkwing Duck: HEY! That's my line! You'll be hearing from my lawyers about this!Love Interest: Ah, Billie. We could have ruled the world together. Her intellect was equal to my own, despite her appearance and demeanor being reminiscent of...(looks at Pinky)another mouse I am acquainted with, who ultimately interested her more than myself.Pinky: I know how you feel, Brain. Ah, Pharfignewton. We could have gone on so many horsey rides together.Mad Libs Catchphrase: Whenever Pinky responds to myinquiries, he responds with some sort of nonsensical non sequitur.Pinky: It's a talent. POIT!Meaningful Rename: I haven't the slightest notion of what I was referred to as previously. I am only \"The Brain\", and that is all I wish to be known as.Pinky: And I was...uh...what was I called before I got my name?The Brain: Truly the world does not require such information.The Millstone: Egads yes, Pinky befits this trope in spades. My plans almost always fall apart thanks to his idiocy! But at least it's unintentional idiocy.Pinky: I try, Brain. Or rather, I don't try. HAHA. Good one.Minion with an F in Evil: If Pinky was to work with any other villain, I can guarantee he would fail simply by existing.Mobile-Suit Human: A common choice of my schemes involves such a device. I simply choose not to utilize the more realistic head.Pinky: But why, Brain?The Brain: The suit lacks proper air conditioning.Pinky: Ahhh. That makes sense.Morality Pet: I admit, Pinky's presence has helped to me to control some of my more...egotistical tendencies.Pinky: And that's why I'm here, Brain! NARF!Multiple-Choice Past: There has been no clear story as to how Pinky and I became who we are, perhaps in a way thatwould make one of the regulars at the studio proud.Pinky: Well then what is it, Brain?The Brain: One such recollection saw me torn from my parents home...a can with the world on it. Another saw me transformed alongside Snowball, yet another tale was where you and I first came into being as part of a secret experiment. And then the rebootshowed I was subjected to a \"Learned Helplessness\" experiment that led me to wish to take over the world.Truly there must be something I am missing.Pinky: Consistent writers?The Brain: For once, I agree.My Brain Is Big: Yes, I am aware that my cranium is significantly oversized. It is simply a visual manifestation of my genius.Pinky: Indeed, Brain, but don't go getting a big head or anything!Brain: (sighs) Whatever you say, Pinky.The Napoleon: I am aware of the irony, but I possess a far greater intellect thanNapol\u00e9on Bonaparteever did.Nice Mice: I don't consider myself a \"nice\" mouse. However, someday after I've turned the world into a paradise, you will realize that though my methods may be harsh,I've always had the best intentions. As for Pinky...Pinky: I wouldn't hurt a fly!The Brain: He speaks the truth. He wouldn't harm anything.Pinky: Speaking of flies, I was just playing with this cute little butterfly. ZORT!Noble Demon: My goals of world domination calls for a world where all are treated with kindness and dignity. You may see it as evil; I see it as necessary.Pinky: And as we all know, we could use a lot more fun. NARF!No Celebrities Were Harmed:The Brain: I am told my voice bears a striking resemblance toa film director of certain note, along withan actor famed for his horror roles.Pinky: And I'm aPython!No, wait, that's not right. I'm a mouse whose voice is based ona Python! That's it!The Brain: If you were a member of the species Pythonidae, I doubt you would survive. A python is supposed to posses the ability to consume his prey with the tightening of his coils. All you have done is loosen my grip on sanity.Pinky: I try, Brain.Paper-Thin Disguise: Often I put little effort to hide the fact I am but a simple mouse. However, asthe public clearly fails to recognize me as such, I have little need to do so.Pinky: He's just that good!The Brain: As for Pinky, he couldn't wear a disguise that would effectively hide his true identity if his being of existence was in jeopardy.Parental Abandonment: I was ripped from my parents at a tender young age. Thus, a subconscious goal of mine was to reunite with them. Unfortunately, bringing them to my intellectual level created...less than ideal results.Plucky Comic Relief: I wouldn't be surprised if Pinky was able to give other simpletons a marathon for their financials. I am always the straight man to said comic relief...provided my plan goes better than usual.Pragmatic Villainy: Far too often have the conquerors of history utilized brutish tactics to get their way, which ultimately resulted in their downfall. Hence, my tactics call for simplistic, but effective measures to sway the public to our cause.Pinky: Like what, Brain?The Brain: A few hypnotic suggestions, at worst.Rude Hero, Nice Sidekick: Rude would be an inappropriate term;I would prefer \"Continuously Frustrated\". It is Pinky, however, whose skeletal structure lacks any malicious intent within.Pinky: I have no idea what that means, but I agree 100%! ZORT!Sarcastic Confession: In case you failed to understand this beforehand, Pinky and I are genetically engineered laboratory mice bent on global domination. If you find this implausible, then congratulations; you've responded exactly as I desire.Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Quite often I will utilize prominent terms in the vernacular to properly enforce my deepest psychological desires of global domination, for it is imperative that (zzzzzzzz)\u2014PINKY!Pinky: Whah! Oh. Sorry, Brain. You just put me to sleep with all that colorful language.The Brain: Perhaps it would be behoove you to read a dictionary.Shorter Means Smarter: As the smaller of the two, I happen to posses the greater intellect. It does poorly, however, when I find my stature lacking in situations involving higher shelving units.Pinky: And that's where I come in! NARF!The Brain: He may posses the brain cell of a Brassica Rapa, but his height comes in handy.Simpleton Voice:Must I really say it?Pinky: NARF!Smarter Than You Look: Somehow I think Pinky possess a great deal of intelligence than he lets on. Could he be the real genius? No, impossible! I am clearly the superior intellect!Pinky: Hey, Brain? I got my head stuck in the cage again. But it's alright. I can wait.The Brain: Yes, I am most definitely the smarter of the pair.Sophisticated as Hell: Sophisticated, yes. But I would rarely dabble in such vulgarities unless the situation called for it.Spell My Name with a \"The\": My full name isThe Brainfor a reason. Nevertheless, Brain is an acceptable term.Pinky: And I should know! I always just call him Brain! Should I call myselfThe Pinkythough?The Brain:It would be an accurate assessment of your character.Pinky:Why, thank you, Brain!TROZ!Spock Speak: My speech pattern is indisputably formal, dispassionate and complex. As for the comparison with a character who is considered a paragon of logic, I find it flattering in the extreme.Pinky: There you go with all that fancy talk, Brain! And you do it so well! NARF!Take Over the World:I would certainly expect you to have been more aware of this by now. Pinky and I have made many attempts at this, to create a better tomorrow, yet it seemsour goals are always met with a fateful sleight of hand.Technical Pacifist: I may desire toTake Over the World, but I have no desire to cause harm to any other life forms if need be. It would certainly be a waste of energy and time, not to mention my rule will be benevolent!Pinky: Gee, Brain. What about (gets smacked by Brain)\u2014maybe I shouldcome back later.Tender Tears: By Galileo's grave, does Pinkycry a lot. You could make an entire ocean with the amount of tears he's cried! Hmmm. That might not be a bad idea to force the world to make me their ruler...Pinky! Get the onions!Pinky: Are we making a sandwich, Brain? Egad!Too Dumb to Live: I once recall, when ourparent showswapped our roles, that Pinky was swallowed whole by a cat, yet failed to realize it. Fortunately, he didn't end up with that ratherannoyingly foolishchild Mindyand hermother, who is clearly in need of child care courses.Pinky: I've just never had problems with cats, Brain.The Brain: It's even a miracle you survived that.Pinky: Well of course! I'm a cartoon.Too Kinky to Torture: One handy aspect of having Pinky as a sidekick is that his stupidity prevents himself from being tortured. Somehow.Pinky: I just love everything! I can't possibly hate anything!The Brain: ...I'm going to have to hurt you.Trademark Favorite Food:Please, waste your time guessing what we like to eat.Pinky: It's cheese, Brain! (SMACK!)The Brain: Why do I even bother teaching you the meaning of sarcasm?TV Genius:No, I do not waste my time watching that drivel. I can clearly survive just fine in the outside world without the need to allow my intellect to rotbecause of those intellectual insults they call programming.Pinky: Hey, Brain! Look!He got hit on a head with a coconut!HAHAHAHAHAHAH!The Brain: As you can see,it does wonders for my compatriot.Took a Level in Jerkass: I would find my demeanor grow more considerably intolerant to failure as the years went by, asthe man supplying my voicetestified to. Few would blame me if my constant failures of taking over the world would leave me in a much worse demeanor than when I started!Pinky: I wouldn't even go that far, Brain. I'd more say you just... became more determined than ever to accomplish your goal! NARF!Undying Loyalty: No matter what obstacles we face, Pinky always remains steadfast to my cause.Pinky: And I always will!Uplifted Animal: Obviously. As I am a genetically engineered lab mouse, I posses this trope to its full extent.As does Pinky, believe it or not.Pinky: TROZ!Verbal Tic: Clearly, if you haven't read through the entirety of this page, you don't understand how those random utilization of NARF, TROZ, POIT, and ZORT mean anything to Pinky.Pinky: I'm a creature of habit, Brain!Villain Ball: Some say that I took hold of this theoretical spherical object in \"Mousechurian Candidate\", although as always,my goal was to create a better world for everyone.Pinky: Well, Brain, you weren't that nice to Julia when you messed with her mind and all. And didn't you say you wanted to use children to build bombs, or something? POIT!The Brain:Sometimes the end justifies the means, Pinky.Villain Protagonist: Villainy? Hardly. Though I suppose my goal of world domination would fall within that category, I assure you, it is merely for the benefit of all. Under my guidance, we can finally achieve a world without the current issues we face, for I possess the greatest intellect of them all!YES!Pinky: Uh, Brain? I don't think the people are going to see it that way.Villains Never Lie: I am hardly ever dishonest. If questioned about my true identity, I always givean honest answer about how I'm a genetically engineered mouse. Well,until the reboot, when I did hide my identity while posing as a prominent Senator.Vitriolic Best Buds: Do I care for Pinky? Yes. Will I express this from time to time? Of course. But under no circumstances will I allow his idiocies to exist so long as I am in his presence.Pinky: And it's made me the mouse I am today! TROZ!The Brain:Sure, Pinky. It has indeed.Vocal Dissonance: Given how you seem toworship talking rodents, one might expect that my voice be as minuscule as my body. Yet I instead speak in a manner similar toOrson Welles, with a mix ofVincent Pricefor good measure.Pinky: I, on the other hand,avert thisentirely! I sound just as one might expect a mouse to sound!Vocal Evolution: Upon our return to television, my voice register experienced a slight increase. I experienced this earlier in my lifespan, where I tended to have more mannerisms ofOrson Welles. My later years saw me lean more intoVincent Pricefor further inspiration.Pinky: And I used to sound a lot dumber and slower. I just sped myself a little bit and didn't nearly NARF as much as I used to!The Watson: Pinky is this to mySherlock Holmes. He does all the recording, and I do all the thinking. Simple as that.Well-Intentioned Extremist:The Brain: As I mustfurther reiterate, my goals are not villainous. I do not seek toeliminate half of all life simply to prove myself correct, nor do Iwish to rise to power for the sake of it. All I want isto make the world a better place.Pinky: You know, it's funny you mentioned those guys, Brain. There'ssomeone who soundslike you sometimes!The Brain: I am aware of the irony.To demonstrate how our goals would have succeeded, ourfellow Speilbergian creationaltered history by preventing the attack on Pearl Harbor. In doing so, I successfully became President of the United States. Under my guidance, cold fusion is successful, I was able to convince thosefools from across the lot in Burbankto perform proper guidance in opening their resort in France, thus ensuring it would succeed beyond a shadow of a doubt,a certain actorwas prevented from having a career,another was allowedto shine in the spotlight, anda certain radio hostis now working for charity. Now you will have no doubts as to my brilliance. Besides, at least my goals are far less malicious than a certainSnowball.Wholesome Crossdresser: Not myself, but Pinky. He can disguise himself as a female very well, in spite of his other shortcomings.Workaholic: Little times do I give myself the pleasure of rest. Only when the world is at peace will I give myself a much needed vacation.Pinky: And I've picked out this nice little spot inHawai\u02bbi! It's got sun, sand, beaches, plenty of water, and lots of coconuts! It's gonna be so much fun! NARF!The Brain: Please, Pinky. Do not count your Gallus Gallus Domesticus' before they hatch.Pinky: Say, what's this button do?The Brain: PINKY! DON'T TOUCH THAT!(BOOM!)Pinky: Oops. Heh heh. Sorry, Brain. I guess that was something I wasn't supposed to touch, was I?The Brain: It matters not, Pinky. Though we may have been foiled, our goal is still in reach. Now come! We must make plans for tomorrow night!Pinky: Why, Brain? What are we gonna do tomorrow night?The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!(They're dinky! They're Pinky and the Brain! Brain! Brain! Brain! Brain! Brain! Brain! Brain! Brain!)"}
{"text": "Uhhh...huh? Who the hell are you?! Another idiot sent to my office for doing stupid stuff?! W-What?! You're just here wanted to know about me? Uhhh...fine! As long you're not THEM! Uhhh, no! NO! T-Those twoidiotshave their own p-page?! Of course they do! H-how else did I get mine? Those two little bastards are always trying to ruin my day! Uhhh yeah! I-I know they can't really do that here because this page is supposed to be about me, b-but they could still show up for a bit any second! T-Though I AM glad I still won't be seeing them as much in a place like this. I-It just helps to stay safe. A-and what's withthat guy who keeps talking about conspiracies?Even I'M not scared of those sort of things! Bunch of c-crap. T-though his friend does kinda look like a young Tom Anderson. Y-yeah, we know each other, a-and if there's one thing we have in c-common, i-is that we're both constant victims of those two b-bastards.Anyway, I-I'll won't say too much got it? I'm a busy man! My name is Principal McVicker. And NO! It's not \"McDicker\" like t-those two dumbasses say! Call me that and I-I'll shove my foot up your ass! Uhhh yeah! I'll do that! Back on topic, I run Highland High to the b-best of my ability and I-I'll actually have a peaceful time if it wasn't for B-Beavis and Butt-Head! I HATE those two bastards! If any of you are familiar withour show, then you'll know those two morons plague my life each and every time! E-Even when I'm minding my own business! Uhhh, if I could KILL those two bastards, I'll do it! B-But the law says I can't! I'd lose my j-job. S-So I'm just stuck living in fear of those two little bastards hoping they won't get me hurt in some w-way! I letBuzzcutdo the ass-kicking most of the time. O-Of course those bastards torment me; bad stuff always happens to me... Uhhh... oh no...pops in pillsAt l-leastMs. Morgendorfferwas w-wise enough to leave H-Highland! Coming to t-think of it, why did she attend my school but her sister never did?T-These are my t-tropes I guess. Just read them and l-leave me alone! Uhhh yeah! Especially if you're B-Beavis and Butt-Head. Uhhhhh!The Alcoholic: If those two bastards weren't alive, I-I wouldn't be this...b-but it's the only thing that helps calms my nerves around those two morons.Anti-Villain: O-Of course I'm not a villain! I'm just doing my job! Those two bastards are the real villains of the show c-considering the amount of CHAOS they cause with their stupidity! B-besides, that other principal from L-Lawndale is far worse than I am andshe gets away with it too!Arch-Enemy: Uhhh, I don't read that comic book crap that's all the rage with you kids, b-but I guess you could say I AM Beavis and Butt-Head's archenemy. They certainly are mine! Those two idiots are the BANE of my existence and it seems like I'm the only person around who-who's trying to d-do something about them. Uhhh, yeah!Back from the Dead: I-I honestly wished that heart attack I had killed me at the end of s-season seven... But of course when the stupid show was revived for another season, so did I... Uhhh no...Bad Boss: Mr. Van Driessen is just as bad as those two bastards! I-I still think he was the reason why they are so damn stupid which was w-why I fired his ass in the episode \"School Test.\"Bald of Evil: W-Who are you calling bald and evil, you bastard?! I guess I-I'm bald but I'm NOT evil! W-We already discussed this just above under \"Anti-Villain\" dumbass!Berserk Button: Uhhh... I ALREADY told you! BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD!!! J-Just mentioning those two bastards is enough to m-make me fly into a rage! Uhhh yeah! If I-I could just k-kill those two idiots...uh huh huh huh huh huh!downs more pillsBurger Fool: Uhhh, what? No! I'm a high school principal! Not some failure at Burger World. Uhhh, it's those two bastards again, isn't it? That was just them fantasizing about tormenting me! Uhhh, I wouldn't be caught dead cleaning a grill for them, and n-neither would I have a half-dozen kids on that kind of salary. Uhhh, those two just won't ever leave me be, even in their heads.Butt-Monkey: I-I shouldn't be this! Whenever those two are around, b-bad stuff happens to me! It's not fair! And don't c-call me that, you s-sound just like them; they use that kind of w-word.Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: I d-don't even a-appear in the newest series. F-finally free from those b-bastards! They're the future's p-problem now!Cigarette of Anxiety: I-is this really a surprise, given what those two little bastards put me through on a daily basis? I kn-know that smoking's b-b-bad for me, but I wouldn't have to d-do it if I didn't have so much stress! Uhh...Cool and Unusual Punishment: Uhhh, suspending those two idiots might give me a break, but it gives me no satisfaction becausethey like it! So get this, I once forced them to not laugh in school for a whole week! Uhhh, huh huh, boy did I get them then! Uh huh huh huh huh huh!Dean Bitterman: Uhhh, shut up! I'm just trying to, uhhh, keep the school running and the students in line! A-and you'd be really bitter too if you had to deal with students like B-Beavis and Butt-Head all the time! Uhhh, yeah! T-they give Highland High a bad name! Uhhhh!Dirty Old Man: S-SHUT UP!!! What happened in that movie was supposed to be behind c-closed doors! W-what were those two morons even doing there at the motel? I expelled them for that, butthat d-didn't last long!Uhhh!Drowning My Sorrows: I-I need to do this whenever I have to deal with those two troublemakers...I even keep a bottle of whiskey in my desk drawer i-in case of emergencies...specialidiotemergencies! Uhhhh!Enraged by Idiocy: Y-You would be too if you always had to watch those little bastards keep messing things up!Well, except when they do it to themselves sometimes. Serves them right,but how the hell are they or Mr. Van Driessen not even dead yet?!Failure Is the Only Option: Uhhh, you think I haven't tried getting Beavis and Butt-Head out of my hair? Well, I'll have you know that I have! Many times! I've tried expelling them, I've tried pushing them back to elementary, I tried getting them arrested, I even once swore they were dead, which was what c-caused that horrible heart attack seeing them a-alive! Uhhh, but they always come back! Always! There's just no getting rid of those bastards!Goofy Print Underwear: SH-SHUT UP! Little pain in the ass! I already told you, that was behind closed doors! My underwear is n-neither your or those two idiots' business! Uhhh, yeah!Hair-Trigger Temper: I-It doesn't take much to piss me off! Especially if your name is \"Beavis and Butt-Head\". H-Hell, I'm pretty sure those t-two dolts caused my real hair to fall out! Uhhh, yeah!Hell Is That Noise: Uhhh, if there's one thing I can't stand, it-it's that damn laughing. Those bastards, th-they never stop! It's just \"Huh huh huh huh\" and \"Heh heh heh heh\" for them all the time. I can't get it out of my head. Uhhh, oh no, I can hear it again right now! Uhhh! (swallows more pills)Hero Antagonist: T-This is more like it! Uhhh yeah! I am NOT a villain! I-I'M the guy you should be rooting for in a series where those two idiots nearlyd-doomed an entire nation just because they're j-just that damn stupid!Hope Spot: Uhhh, the day I heard the news that Beavis and Butt-Head were dead was the happiest day in my life. I thought my personal Hell was finally over and that those two little bastards finally got what was coming to them! B-but then, they just showed up out of nowhere like nothing had ever happened! It-it was so terrible that I-I had a heart attack! Uhhh, yeah! And so it still goes on today...those two bastards continue to make my life a living hell. Uhhh! (drinks a bottle of Scotch)Hypocritical Humor: S-so what if I curse during school hours? I'm the principal and it's my God-given right to say whatever the hell I want and keep you from saying whatever the hellyouwant! So watch your language around me, you little bastard! B-besides, if you had to put up with B-Beavis and Butt-Head like I do, you'd curse too. Uhhh, yeah.Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: H-How many times I have to s-say it?! I am NOT a villain! But YES! I AM sympathetic! Uhhh yeah! T-Thank you!Jerkass: S-So what?! T-Those two bastards are bigger jerks than I am! T-they're not just stupid, they'reo-obnoxious!Jerkass Has a Point: F-Fine! I c-can be an unpleasant guy at times, but you must agree with me t-that it's because of Beavis and Butt-Head for the sheer amount of times t-that those two IDIOTS has caused me grief! Uhhh yeah! A-At least you're saying that I'm right!Jerk with a Heart of Gold: L-Look! I-I CAN be a nice guy to h-hang with! And a d-decent principal! A-As long you aren't Beavis and Butt-Head or a-as awful as they are, t-then you're fine!Mistaken for Pedophile: Damn it! You've been listening to those little bastards, haven't you!? Uhhh, I was referring to that damn \"No Child Left Behind\" act! Uhhh, I wantnothingto do with a real child's left behind! B-Beavis and Butt-Head are only spreading l-lies and mis-mishearing things like they always do! Uhhh, yeah!Only Sane Man: Y-YES! Why does it seem like I-I'm the only one that knows that B-Beavis and Butt-Head are a danger to s-society and n-need to be killed! Uhhh, yeah!Nervous Wreck: Uhhh, h-have you've been seeing me s-stutter?! T-Those two bastards seem to always c-come out of nowhere to cause me grief! Uhhh yeah! I-I can't help but always be in a n-nervous state! Y-You'll be too if you lived in e-even the same STATE as those two morons! Uhhh yeah!Not So Above It All: Uhhh yeah! If I have a chance t-to humiliate those two idiots, I-I'll take it! L-Like in the episode where me and Buzzcut w-was able to trick those two into going o-outside in their underwear and b-became the laughing stock of the student body! Y-Yes! I FINALLY got one over those t-two bastards! I-It may be a childish prank,but I DESERVED a win for o-once in my life!Uhhh yeah!Pet the Dog: I-I was shocked when Beavis actually apologized to me when he was b-being disruptive! T-That was the first time (sadly the ONLY time) that one of those bastards was being decent for once and I-I even let Beavis off without punishment. T-Too bad that was only for that ONE episode. Uhhh, no... B-But why do I still feel likeat least HE might do it again?E-even then, would it be sincere? I m-mean, does that dolt evenknowwhat 'sorry' means?Well... I guess as even Buzzcut would tell you, don't you DARE hurt even those two morons if you're not part of our staff! It's OUR school, so that's OUR job!Uhhh, I guess I did once try to help them remember how to u-urinate after they 'forgot' how to. I have NO idea HOW they could have done that, b-but I guess they're just that STUPID!Sanity Slippage: Uhhh, those little bastards drive me crazy! Uhhh, it got so bad that I had to institutionalize myself once. A-and it still didn't help! S-sometimes, I think it's only a matter of time be-before I...before I snap again! O-or have another heart attack!Scare 'Em Straight: Uhhh, I revived the Scared Straight program to show our worst students the hell they're in for if they d-don't get back in line. And you can bet I sent Beavis and Butt-Head on that prison tour as well. But those little bastardsstilldidn't get the message! They ended up liking it! Uhhh, if only they would get arrested for real! Uhhh yeah! T-that would be the day! B-better yet,executed!Uh huh huh huh huh!Verbal Tic: Uhhh, I-I don't know what you're talking about! T-this is all part of my n-nervous stuttering! Uhhh, yeah!Villainous Breakdown: D-Don't remind me when those two imbeciles caused me to have a genuine nervous breakdown t-that landed me in an insane asylum! Or when t-they caused me to have that heart attack! And you still h-have the nerve to call me \"v-villainous\"?! Uhhh, yeah!Villainous Friendship: What is with all t-these things calling me a villain? I-Is there just no better way to put it? Uhhh, well, I guess Buzzcut is a little more tough and violent, but he's the only other person who can't stand those boys as much as me, and he'd be glad to help me out with them, like with that prank. Besides, SOMEONE needs to keep all those students in check, t-those two can't be the ONLY little bastards out there!Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: I-I WOULD shoot those two bastards a long time ago if it wasn't for the law!!! Y-You don't mean literally shoot them but expel them from school if they cause me too much grief. Uhhh, I TRIED, dumbass! Uhhh, yeah! But they just keep coming back! T-They're a couple of parasites! T-They don't even LIKE school, so I-I don't know why they even bother coming back i-in the first place! Uhhh, yeah!Would Hurt a Child: L-like I said above, i-if it wasn't for the damn law, I would have KILLED Beavis and Butt-head a l-long time ago! Uhhh, yeah! But of course, that a-and school standards have other plans, so the best I can d-do is strangle those two idiots! Uhhh, yeah! S-sometimes, we don't even let other people hurt them at school because WE'RE supposed to do that here! Just ask Buzzcut!Beavis and Butt-Head show up, snickeringHey, McDicker. Heh heh heh!Uhhhh, oh NO! It's THOSE b-bastards! I-I'm not even safe on my own page! Beavis and Butt-Head, get the hell off my page now before Ikillyou!Uh, can you, like, shut the hell up? Uh huh huh huh huh.Yeah, shut the hell up, McDicker! Heh heh. We're not in school, so you can't, like, tell us what to do. Heh heh.So what? T-this ismypage! Uhhh, y-you two morons have your own, s-so get lost!Hey, Beavis. Check this out. Uh huh huh huh. I'm gonna, like, \"mantle-lize\" McDicker's page. Huh huh huh huh.Heh heh. Me too. Heh heh!This is gonna be cool! Huh huh huh huh.Butt-Head changes certain parts of the page, such as replacing a third of the tropes listed on here with \"MUKDIKRS A DOORCK\", all the while laughing.Yeah, yeah! Heh heh! Try setting it onFIRE!Beavis joins in with the \"mantle-ism\" (vandalism), randomly pressing keys to type up a huge capitalized, garbled, incoherent mess, angering McVicker further.Uhhh, stop! W-what the hell do you two think you're doing?! I'm gonna kill you two b-bastards!YOU WON'T HAVE TO, SIR! I HAVE MY OWN PAGE NOW!O-Oh, thank god! I'm so glad you made it here, too!NOW HOW 'BOUT I GET THESE BOYS' ASSES BACK TO THEIRS?!AHH! Heh. DAMMIT, NO!UHHHH, huh huh. This sucks.Cue Beavis and Butt-Head ending riff, with the sounds of them getting beaten up while McVicker and Buzzcut laugh"}
{"text": "\"If money's involved, we're going to do this by the books. I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL AGAIN.\"\"\u201cAlthough I'm glad to have found my 'groove' and all, I think I like doing chores more. Thanks anyways, though. Bye.\"\u2014Me.Hi. Umm why am I doing this.Unikitty:JUST DO IT.Rick:Ughhhhh fine.Where do I begin. My name is Richard but you can call me Rick. I am Unikitty's royal adviser. You could call methe only sane one around here.Hahaha. Anyway,I like cleaning and chores and-Puppycorn:Boooring!!Sigh. I know you might find me boring but I'm just trying to be responsible. Anyhow ummm just read the tropes or whatever.My tropes.The Bore: Wait I bore people?Butt-Monkey: Sigh. It's always this way.The Complainer Is Always Wrong: What. I'm usually right...Deadpan Snarker: Of course I am. My friends are all idiots.The Eeyore: Sigh. I'm fine I'm perfectly happy.The Generic Guy: How dare you.Gloomy Gray: I'm not that gloomy.Incredibly Lame Fun: Hey, my fun isn't lame. It's organised.The Lancer: Nah, I'm a better leader.A Lizard Named \"Liz\": I'm not a lizard...Mind over Matter: Duh. I'm basically a ghost.Not So Above It All: How? I'm above it all. My frie- wait, did you say there's a pirate hat in that buried traesure? SCREW RULES.Not So Stoic: Yeah, I show emotion.Odd Name Out: Yeah, my name is the only cool one.Only Sane Man: My friends are all chaotic while I'm actually calm and reserved. I mean- why is Dr Fox even chaotic? She should know things will go wrong she's the smart one!Order vs. Chaos: Sigh. Four against one.The Stoic: I'm not stoic. I'm just reserved.Supreme Chef: Yes I make mean ice cream sandwiches and delicious cauliflower stew.Workaholic: No... whe, where did you get that idea????"}
{"text": "Look, we-we got our own Self Demonstrating page Morty!Oh, um, okay, cool I guess.(OK, real quick! You see bold text like this, it's me, Rick. You see italics, it's-*moans*-it's Morty! Rick and Morty, you get it?And awaaay we go!)Huh, going classic.Rick, where are you?! Where am I?! Wh-why can I only see lettersspelling out the words I'm saying and a picture of us up there?!OH GOD, WHY DID THOSE WORDS JUST TURN BLUE?!C-Calm down, Morty, th-there's - Morty, calm down and - MORTY, CALM DOWN AND CLOSE YOUR *burp* EYES! It's nothing to worry about, Morty - we're justin a*urp*wiki dimension. Whoa, you're gonna be doing a lot of that if you keep this up.Riiiiick, wh-who are you talking to?Nobody important, Morty - just the poor bastard that has tokeep writing down the shit coming out of my mouth- yeah, you keep telling yourself that. OK, so from the links being used so far, that means we're at...oh, fuck me, we're atTV Tropes-this is gonna*burp*take awhile...You don't sound too happy, Rick. A-are we somewhere bad?Oh, it's bad, Morty - it's really bad.Ooooooh...So one day a bunch of a-*burp*-assholes decide to take a big shit on the Internet filled with a bunch of descriptions of references they got from movies and TV shows, onlyit turned really in on itselfand the assholes - sorry, \"tropers\" - even used these references to describethemselves.Oh, jeez Rick,I-I-I don't really know what someone wo-would wanna like...ruin their lifedoing something stupid like that, I mean, i-i-it sounds kinda dumb honestly, like, uh,why the hell would anyone give a crap about re-occurring elements i-i-in TV shows and stupid shit like that?People are dumb, Morty. See, this guy gets it. The problem is that we're in the s-self demonstrating section, wh-which is like a group of in-joke pages made on the site, to ma-m-make it seem like the ch-*burp* character in question is t-talking to the guy reading it.Oh, uh, Rick that sounds a little lame, honestly. Like, y'know, a bunch of people trying way too hard to be, y'know, funny and write in the characters' voices,but they always just end up exaggerating certain, uh, character tics and make them sound like cheap caricatures of themselves, y'know?Morty, shut the hell up! You don't know shit. You're overthinking it as usual. Be-besides it's too late, there's already someone who-who-who's been reading this page the ent-*burp*-ire timeWhoa, Rick, uh, I had no idea that this guy was looking at us this whole time, that seems a little creepy, actually.Morty, just - just shut up. We're text in a goddamn box to those people, alright? Now hold on,I gotta re-*burp*-orient myself here.Oh. OK.(I thought your liver was enough of a compass already, but whatever)Hey, I saw that!Okay...ugh, we're at the point on the page where we introduce ourselves so the reader gets an idea of what we're about. I'll start. *ahem*Hey there, all you folks and folkers out there!If you don't know who I am or what I do, then you can screw right off andread my Character page, 'cause I'm not gonna stand here in the middle of fucking nowhere and rattle off my life history to the goddamn empty air like an asshole. *burp*Morty, you're up.Oh geez...uh, hey there...you?. N-Nice to meet you, I guess.You're losing 'em, Morty! Just...just talk about the stuff we do when we're not sitting at home with our thumbs up our asses while I direct our attentively-handicapped readers toyour Char-*burp* your Char-*burp* your Character page.Oh, yeah! Yeah, so basically we just go to different dimensions...and stuff, with the use of R-Rick's portal gun...and crap.Yeah, thanks for taking an \"and crap\" all over my life's work, Morty. God...OK, really short: I'm the smartest guy in the fucking MULTIVERSE, but I can't just go off and do stuff on my own, or I'll go nuts. More nuts, whatever. I drag my grandson Morty along here BECAUSE I CAN, and screw around with all different sorts of people in all different sorts of places and blah-blah-blah-blah.Yeah, and the-they get really weird sometimes, like, uh...oh! You remember that place where chairs were people?Ugh...Morty, there's probably, like, a hundred wikis that talk about the number of teeth in our mouths or the number of pimples on Jerry's left ass cheek. We did the stupid thing, now let's move on. Oh, and if you've got a PROBLEM with how this section is ending,I just plowedYour Momsideways last night, so suck it.You didn't have to go that far, Rick - I'm just saying.Oh, grow a pair, Morty.Oh, fuck me, there's MORE of this?!You know, maybe they're interested in our family since a lot of times they end up being a part of our adventures?*burp* Yeah, sure,knock yourself out.Okay, great, thanks. OL...so there's my dad Jerry \u2014AKA the human dishrag...are we really gonna do this now? Anyway, his name is JERRY, he's my dad, and...he's kind of a wimp...an awful lot of the time, but he's got his moments where he does cool stuff, like\u2014Read the character page, boom. Done. Next.*sigh* OK, so then there's my mom Beth\u2014MY DAUGHTER.Uh, yeah. She got married to Jerry\u2014AKA the human trashbag.\u2014and she's smart and a doctor\u2014Animal doctor\u2014and...andgo read her character page, I guess. I also have a sister named Summer.Character page....fine. Fine! Hey, why do you, me, Mom, and Dad get our own character pages to ourselves, whileSummer has to share one with the rest of our family?Because Summer is still seeking popularity, and Jerry is too much of a worthless piece of SHIT\u2026 wait he does havea character pagenow? GODDAMN IT!Aw, man. Can we go home now?!A-almost, Morty. It looks like we have to make it through the list of tropes these people seem to think apply to us.Oh, and uh... somebody decided to talk like a Mr. Meeseeks and set upa character page dedicated to them. 'Even somehow managed to get their hands on a box for it.That sounds about right - talking like someone whose only reason for existing is to die.Boo-ya!*burp* So, yeah. Tropes that \"apply\" to Morty and me include:The Alcoholic:Yeah*burp*, no shit, Sherlock.Animesque:Not us, but our counterpartsRick-WTM72 and Shogun Morty. Made by thecompanybehind thatreally weird-ass anime movie from the '80s.Yeah. I mean what the *urrrrrp* fuck was even that about?!Then there'sus taking on Genocidermade by thecrewbehind theLupin anime series.Trust me, Morty. If they *buuuuuuurp* had designed Jessica after Miss Airbags, a.k.a.Fujiko Mine, you'd be carrying your dick in a ...*burp* wheelbarrow!Anime Hair:More like \"generic mad scientist\" hair, butif that's all you people have to compare with, then that sure says a hell of a lot right there.Anti-Hero:Say it, Morty.*sigh* \"Rick's not a villain, but he shouldn't be your hero. He's more like a demon, or asuper fucked-up god\". To be fair, It does still pretty much sum him up.The Anti-Nihilist:\"Nobody exists on purpose, nobody really belongs anywhere, everybody's going to die. Come watch TV?\" That's you, Morty - that's what you sound like.Yeah? W-well, it's a hell of a lot better than going through the-the universe like you're on top of everything WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SCREWED THINGS UP TO THE POINT WHERE I SAID THAT THAT TO MY OWN\u2014I mean, not my *own* own sister, but\u2014but\u2014god damn it.Y-Yeah, I-I think they got the point there. Geez.Okay,but it's not like you don't do part of this yourself, you know.Yeah, it's called beingin-betweenfor a reason.Bamboo Technology:Since I'm a fu\u2014*urp*\u2014ing genius, I can pretty much make do with whatever's on hand to get shit done. Like, uh...oh! Remember when I turned myself into a pickle, Morty? And then I like used, uh, rat muscle in order to m-make myself a bo\u2014*burp*\u2014ody?I know you did it to get out of *family counseling*, Rick. I know how awkward the session was when you showed up as a pickle, and how awkward the car ride home was.Geez, someone should get counseling on taking that stick out of their ass.Berserk Button:So, there are two ways to get on my shit list - either cross me or shit on Pirates of the Pancreas - the same thing. And...messing with my grandchildren. Do those two things, I will end you.Uh, I personally don't really get too pissed, but I do really hate it when people go allMoral Guardians.Everyone who's smart does, Morty.Also being forced into commercials without our consent. Looking at you,PringlesandWendy's!Beware the Nice Ones:Trust me, Morty has his limits. Even I know that.Brilliant, but Lazy:When I'm not out adventuring with Morty or working on a project, there is really nothing I like more than just chilling on the couch and watchingFamily MattersorBall Fondlers, but my annoying family keeps interrupting me at every turn with unimportant crap that doesn't matter and is a waste of my talents, and won't go away until I offer some solution. And then they have the gall to also come complaining when their own stupidity causes the solution to backfire!Jeez, Rick, if you would actually put just a little thought into, y'know, actually offer a proper solution to our problems rather than pawning off just whatever mad haphazard quick fix that happens to pop into your head first, I get the feeling that a lot of disasters could have been avoided, y'know?Don't get smart with me, Morty!Catchphrase:Rick tends to say \"Wubba-Lubba-Dub-Dub!\" a lot.What are you talking about, Morty? I don't say that anymore.Okay, well he used to.I think it's because it means \"I am in great pain, please help me.\"but I don't know really.To be *burp* fair, one reason was that I was gonna make \"I don't give a fuck\" my new catchphrase at the end of Season 1, but I-I don't know why I also stopped saying it before it could even start. 'Guess I reallydon'tgive a fuck.I also say \"don't think about it\" a lot, because...well, a lot of people don't already, so why ruin a good thing?I think mine is \"Oh Jeez, Rick\" whenever I get stressed or worried.The Chessmaster:My *burp* escape from Jail, was also an excuse to uh, get rid of the intergalactic federation and to divorce Morty's parents.Don't forget the Szechuan sauce, Rick. I-I-I still don't know what that's about Rick.I know. And I feel sorry for you Morty.Cyborg:I'm *urp* so stuffed full of cybernetics, they won't let me on certain alien ships without behavior modification injections anymore.Yeah, I-I'm still fully human, I...I think.Trust me, Morty, if it happens, you'll know.Death Seeker:I guess I'm kind of *urp* jaded about the whole \"dying\" thing, since I've been through enough shit in enough places that it kinda takes the sting out of it. I mean, look - there's an entire MULTIVERSE full of Rick Sanchez's - even if most of them are assholes, ESPECIALLY the one whokilled my wife Diane and my original Beth- so if I ate it, it wouldn't...wouldn't...Matter?Fuck you, Morty.Expy:What the hell is an Expy?It means, Morty we're *urrrp* cribbed from an'80s blockbuster summer hit. But don't get so fucking worked up over it. Every fictional character has been cribbed off for years.Flintstones?Honeymooners.Jetsons?Blondieand it's not that old music band.Batman?Shadow,Zorro(He even says it himself), andPhantom.Pok\u00e9mon?Ultraseven.noteHow do you even know what that is?TNTaired a dub in the '90s, whichlet Space Ghost use clips from it.Fox Mulder?Carl Kolchak.Lisbeth Salander?Pippi goddamned Longstocking. Hell even thosecreepy-ass blue-haired girlsandthe girl that inspired themare basically a *urrrp* JapaneseWednesday Addams. And a good percentage of fighting game and beat 'em up characters were based onthis guywho's basicallyBruce LeemeetsMad Max.Um, okay, sothat guy Shinji, y'know, who I'm also compared to along with you and his dad, is basicallySpider-Manwith a giant robot instead of superpowers, andSailor Moonis basically a JapaneseShe-RawithWonder Womanthrown in.Hit the nail in the *burp* coffin.Right, and what aboutFamily GuyandThe Simpsons?Bingo.And now I got one in the form of some *buuurrrp* jackoff namedRand Ridley, though he's more of areally fucked up version. Which is saying something, since I'malreadysupposed to be a fucked up version of someone from that 80's movie I just mentioned. Sure I can be a *urrrp* dick most of the time but even Ihavelimits and karma can and will bite me in the balls and I still love my daughter. This fuckwad on the other hand destroyed his daughter's life in more ways than one and gives less of a shitthan even I would.Erasing her childhood memories just so you can get to the topis one reason to put you on my *uuurrrrrp* shit list,and don't think we didn't noticeChristian Slater, who already guest starred withusfirst! Sure it was as Vance, but still. I'd kick your shit in if it weren't for you being on adifferent network, but don't push your luck asshole. Karma can andwillstomp on your nuts someday. Again, I would know.Trust me, Mr. Ridley. Internal family blood feuds don't end well. Geez, I'd askHeihachi Mishimaon that topic but he's dead.Plus he didn't have a page anyway. I mean, even theothertwodid at some point.Uh, Rick, I think Netflix just killed Inside Job. Does that, like, count as karma for Mr. Ridley, or at leastsome extra karma to go with what already happens to him?In a meta way, Morty, yes it fucking does! Suck on that, biatch!Friendless Background:Yeah, I-I didn't really have a lot of friends before Rick came back. Or any, really.*burp* D-don't sweat it, Morty, most people are i-*urp*diots anyway. People weren't exac-exactly lining up to hang out with me back in the day either. Who needs 'em?A God Am I:Even Morty admits it.Rick, I said that you were more like-I know, Morty, close enough. 'Quote's down inAnti-Hero, folks - he said it, no take-backs!*ugh*The Hedonist:AW YEAH, now we're talking!! I gotta look up Unity again one of these days, having sex with an entire football stadium was a new rush!Aw jeez Rick, I-I don't think she wants to see you aga-SHUT UP MORTY!! IF I WANTED ADVICE ON FALLING IN LOVE WITH A SOCK FULL OF LUBE, I'LL ASK FOR IT!!Horrible Judge of Character:Heheheheh, this one's self-inflicted! Would you...would you believe Morty's s-so messed up that he...that he thought having empathy was a t-*BELCH*-oxic character trait? Th-that's how he be-be-becamean even bigger piece of shitwhen we-we got a detox.Limited Wardrobe:Hey, animation is *urp* expensive, it saves a ton of time and effort for us to wear the same shitty clothes every day.Um, Rick, what are you talking about?Don't worry about it, Mr-Yellow-Shirt-And-Jeans.Loser Son of Loser Dad:Before Rick arrived, I was thiscloseto becoming my dad. I slowly but surely got out of this. Besides, it's been overused in all media.I say you're still a *burp* work in progress, Morty. Not that you aren't already ahead.Nice Mean And In Between:Summer becomes in-between whenever she joins us and I guess I'm the nice one.And obviously, I'm the god-damned mean one by the way how I look, talk and act!Obnoxious In-Laws:My Dad sees Rick as a burden to our household though Rick fires back that my Dad is a tapeworm that knocked up Mom with his \"sorry-ass spermatozoa\".It's the truth, Morty. Now we gotta find a future husband for your sister that'll override Jerry's sorry-ass genes.Other Me Annoys Me:Jeez, I try not to judge, but what's with all the Mortys on the Citadel, anyway? I-it's like they're just s-shallow copies of me with like, with a random gimmick tacked on, you know? Like, Hammerhead Morty, what was up with that guy? Or Dancing Lawyer Morty? I-I mean, who tries to show off their pog collection during a friggin trial?!Preaching to the *burp* choir here, Morty.Ow! T-the Hell was that for?!Making damn sure you weren't a *burp* Pringles robot!As for me, in the past, I was trying to invent my portal gun when another Rick Sanchez came in and offered me the means to invent interdimensional travel so I could travel between any conceivable reality with only the company of myself \u2014 li-literally. This encounter made me have second thoughts about the pursuit of science and decide to dedicate my time to my family, but the other Rick wouldn't have it andbombed my family to bits when we were about to go out for ice cream. This drove me to invent interdimensional travel and I used it to search for that fucking bastard for years,but he eludes me to this day.What about the Council of Ricks, Rick?THEY'RE ALL *BRAP* ASSHOLES TOO, MORTY!Pet the Dog:While Rick clearly has some personality issues, there are some moments where he protects me and m-my family, or does nice things like taking Jerry to that theme park.Morty, if you mention that one more time, I will *burp* fucking drop-kick you onto theWalking Deadnightmare page.All threeof 'em.Seriously, I don't feel like talking about it that much. It's complicated. Things just didn't go exactly as planned. 'Even made sure it was somewhere where not even his own stupidity would kill him. Man that whole thing felt a little weird.Product Placement:Aw, Rick, I don't even like Pringles that much! And I don't care too much for Wendy's, either!They paid a bundle for these stupid ads, Morty, now get going! Grandpa hasn't given a refund before, and he's not about to start now!!*sigh* Can I at least get a PS5 after this one?*burp* Sure, the overprized, overhyped video game bullshit is all yours, now get to dancing and earn your keep! We have aFortnitegig.Reed Richards Is Useless:Yeah, thanks for the *burp*self-esteem boost, asshat! Screw humanity, they can figure it out for themselves just like I did. I mean, look at that douchebag President, his tech was still lame, but miles ahead of everyone else, just not up to my standards. Get to work, you slackers!Straw Nihilist:STRAW?! Aint nothin'- *burp* straw about me, motherfuckers!!Just because I'm a nihilist doesn't mean I have to LIKE it!!!Took a Level in Badass:If you think I'm the same Morty from season 1, it's time for a reality check, bitch! If you come in the way of my love interest or threaten my family I willFUCKING END YOU!Who the hell do you think I am?Meg Griffin?! Status quo ain't God here, bitch!Damn, Morty! Take it *urrp* easy there!Trademark Favorite Food:If there is anything in the multiverse that comescloseto justifying the to-*uuhhhrr*-ment of existence as opposed to the horror of non-being, it's McDonald'sMulanSzechuan dipping sauce. I WANT THAT SZECHUAN DIPPING SAUCE, MORTY!! THAT'S MY ONE-ARMED MAN!Aw jeez, I heard you the first time, Rick! I don't know what you want from me, I wasn't even born when that stupid movie came out! And even if I was, it's just another sanitized bastardization of a fairytale/folklore.And I think you even got maybe a couple dimensions hyped up for it!Tsundere:Rick is Type-A, where he's mean on the outside but deep down he genuinely cares for me and the rest of the famil-WHAT DID THIS PAGE JUST CALL ME!? IS THAT ANOTHER FUCKING ANIME TROPE?! You trying to lump me in with the likes of Soryu or Narusegawa or whatever fucked up anime chick they have these days?!Aw, jeez Rick, even if they were, I definitely wouldn't go withthe second one.Y-y-yeah, what was it you calledthat one version of heror whatever?The Intolerable Bitch? That's gotta say *burp*somethingcoming from you and some other nerds.Verbal Tic:I guess I do say \"Aw jeez\" a lot...*burp* Don't-don't look at me, Morty. My belching isn't a tic, it's caused by an unrelated alcohol problem.Aaaaand we are OUT OF HERE, bitches! Morty, you - *urp* - got any last words you wanna say?N-not really, Grandpa Rick. Actually, I'm just kinda tired...after talking so much about myself.At least you're honest about it, Morty - and to the rest of you who wrote and read this stuff...GET A FUCKING LIFE! We out!"}
{"text": "some caption text
(This page is best read in the voice ofBilly WestorChris Phillips. In other languages, this page can be read in the voices of Akio Suyama in Japanese, Marcelo Campos or Marcelo Pissardini in Brazilian Portuguese, andBenjam\u00edn RiveraorAlfonso Obreg\u00f3n Incl\u00e1nin Latin American Spanish.)Well, well, well... What do we have here? Some nerd browsing a website called \"TV Tropes\"? And you wanna write a biography about me? Well, why didn't ya say so?My name is Roger Klotz. I live in Bluffington with my mom and my cat, Stinky. Sounds easy, right? Honestly, my life was pretty boring while I was in grade school. Sure, I picked on the losers around me and I got held back a few grades, but it just was the same old routine... Until the dayFunniemoved into town.From day one, he was a loser. And not just any loser, either. He was a Capital \"L\" loser (and still is!)! Oh boy, I remember the day where I tricked him into thinking there was a Neematoad at \"Stintson's Pond.\" He was such a klutz! Although, there was that one time where I held him a party to celebrate his first year in Bluffington, but that doesn't mean he and I are friends now, got it?But then, seventh grade rolled around. During summer vacation, my mom told me one thing that would change my life forever...\"We're gonna be rich!!!!\"Yeah, you heard that right. The poor kid becomes rich overnight. What are the odds of that?! Though to be fair, my mom got the money after Mr. Bluff bought the trailer park, but that's besides the point! We finally got the money that could change our lives forever! Almost immediately, my mom bought the house right next door to Mr. Bluff's, and I got myself my own personal limo. Who else do you know that has it, hm?There will be spoilers here in this page, so don't blame me if I end up ruining stuff for you. Also, if I end upwasting your time by having you jot down everything to know about me... well, it's not my problem.Here's my trope list. I'm not gonna repeat myself after this, so you better take notes!Adaptational Nice Guy: Well, I may have picked on Funnie less often when we got into middle school, but that doesn't mean I didn't spare him!Alpha Bitch: Yes,even guys like me can fit this description.Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: More like \"embarrassing grandparents\". When I was thirteen, my grandma made me go on that show, \"Kiddie Korral\" because to her, I'm practically a toddler. ...What?Annoying Laugh: Ahh-hahahahaha!Berserk Button: If you hurt my cat Stinky, I will cream you.The Bully: Hey, I'm notthatbad. But at least I didn't become a goody two-shoes unlikethat Mexican girl from Royal Woods. What a wuss!Disappeared Dad: Remember when I mentioned that I live with my mom? Well, that's because my parents separated when I was only a baby. My dad lives in Bloatsburg (you know, the city where Funnie used to live), but he never decided to visit me!Dub Name Change: People in Latin America like to call me \"Rufo\" for some reason. What kind of a stupid name is that?!Everyone Has Standards: I may like to pick on the other kids at school, especially Funnie, but at least I don't actually hit people. Unlikethat fat kid from Colorado...Held Back in School: Yeah, I was in the sixth grade for three years. What's so important about that?Laughing at Your Own Jokes: ...Well, at leastmysense of humor is more \"fosisticated\" compared to you numbskulls.Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Me? Afraid of snakes? Ha! You wish! Though there was that one time where Doug thought it was a good idea to show me one while we were in Bluff Scouts together, but that doesn't count!Aaaaaaaand that's all I got for ya. You wanted more? Well, too bad! That's all you're getting from me.Sayonara, suckers!Ha-hahahahahaha!!!"}
{"text": "I'm a weirdo, and I clean up nice.(This page is best read in the voice of Breanna Yde or Izabella Alvarez. In other languages: Betzabe Jara in Spanish)Hey, lame-os! The name's Ronalda Anne Santiago, but I prefer everyone call me Ronnie Anne. I used to live in Royal Woods, a small city-town somewhere in Michigan. I'm pretty much known for being the girlfriend-I mean good friend of Lincoln Loud, who still lives there inthe Loud Housewith his ten sisters.Back in Royal Woods, I was known and feared as the toughest girl in the elementary school I went to. I was a fearsome prankster, a powerful force in the school's social circle. I pretty much had the school under my fists, and it was my destiny to rule the world!!That sounded bad, didn't it?I mean, I was a bit of a troublemaker, especially in Lincoln's case. You see, I had a bit of a cr-cr-cr-cr....wish of friendship for Lincoln. What I saw in him was he was kind, caring, supportive, encouraging; and I decided I wanted to be a part of that. Unfortunately, I was a bit too shy and arrogant to know what counted as the proper way to do so, so I did the same old schtick with him. I humiliated him, pranked him, pulverized him and pretty made it unsafe for him to be there. I'mgetting the idea that I probably shouldn't have done any of that.But don't tell anyone!Anyway, Lincoln had enough of my routine and marched up to me, and he told me he wanted to meet up with me to finish the whole thing. I was brave on the outside, but it had me freaking out internally. Did my pranking work? Did he finally want to tie the kno-I mean, be a friend to a girl like me? Apparently so, because when he and I met precisely as planned, he kissed me. Right on the lips. I felt a full rush of emotion going on, and I freaked out so much, I punched him. Right in the eye. I still don't know what the heck I was thinking when I did that. After that, I decided to give Lincoln a steak for his eye, as well as a note with my phone number on it.Since then, he and I have been talking. We're good friends for now, but he will be mine one day! I mean, never mind. Heh.However, one day, the pack of wild pigs that made up most of the males in Lincoln's group learned about our secret dating thing, and predictably they started teasing him about it, to the point where he said I was rude and gross and totally annoying. Now, I know he didn't mean it, but I thought he did, and that hurt me so much, I cried. And yes, I can cry. The last time I remember crying before thatwas the first time I saw Titanic.Anyway, I told my brother Bobby about that (oh my god, I can't believe I forgot to mention Bobby was my brother.) And he broke up with Lincoln's sister Lori. Thankfully, they set up a double date at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet in order to make things right. And everything was going fine until those same wild pigs showed and forced Lincoln to insult me again. However, just when it looked like the day was going to end badly, Lincoln made a pretty big speech about how actions speak louder than words, and kissed me again. That may have just been the best day of my life. But we decided to keep our dating private, so we won't get teased. And that's the gist of it, really.However, I moved away to live with my bigger family,the Casagrandes, even though I didn't really want to, but you probably already know all about that. You could say I've been living a pretty crazy life there, almost as much as Lincoln. In fact, I'm loving it there: I've got a pretty caring family, a cool area to skateboard, a best friend in Sid Chang... Don't worry, I'm still in touch with Lincoln. We even do a few vlogs here and there. Pretty cool, right?If you want, you can read about my personality traits, and what makes me...well, me. You know, Lincoln was right. It is a lot of fun talking to you guys. But once you're done here,RUN!!RUN FROM THIS WEBSITE AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!All the stuff I am:555: My phone number is 555-0121. I gave it to Lincoln after apologizing for clocking him in the eye, and it's still that way even after I moved over to Great Lakes.Affectionate Nickname: Bobby calls me \"Nini\". It's very embarrassing. My dad also calls me \"Ranita.\"Affection-Hating Kid: Look, just because I have considered kissing Lincoln a few times before, and I really, really loved those two kisses between him and medoesn't mean I like being kissed!Also, I hate seeing Lori and Bobby being all mushy and lovey-dovey! Blech!Beef Bandage: As I said before, I threw a steak for Lincoln after I gave him a black eye. I also threw another one to him so that his \"friends\" would stop thinking that I was his girlfriend (even though I kinda am) and so they'd stop teasing him.Berserk Button: Unless you're a member of myfamilia, or your name is Lincoln Loud, do. Not. Kiss me.Birds of a Feather: One time Lincoln decided to go to Gus's Games N' Grub over the Sadie Hawkins dance, and he thought I was gonna ask him out, so he ducked me. To be honest, if the roles were reversed, I would've done the same. So, it's water under the bridge now.Breaking the Fourth Wall: After I moved in with the Casagrandes, Lincoln taught me how to talk to you guys like he does.The Bully: I am not a bully...at least not anymore, but I... admit I picked on Lincoln constantly, and was the toughest girl in school. Think of me asthat mean kid from Bluffington, but less on the insults, and more on the shoves. I grew out of this after I first showed up, as in slight teasing.Color Motifs: Ilovethe color purple, and almost everything I wear is purple - except for my pants. I even have purple highlights in my hair.Commonality Connection: Me and Lincoln bonded over being equally disgusted by Bobby and Lori's super cheesy romantic couple-y-ness. Lincoln was surprised to find that \"squeal\" he actually really liked hanging out with me. Plus, we both also play video games and visit Gus's Games N' Grub.Deadpan Snarker: I am a snarking machine.Did You Think I Can't Feel?: As I said before, I may be a grouchy tomboy and known as the toughest girl in school, but I'm so sensitive about Lincoln's opinion of me that he's able to hurt my feelings quite easily. Again, just like Titanic.Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Lincoln says that when his sisters found out I was bullying him, they thought I was a dude and readied themselves for retribution. When he told them I was a girl, they all started squealing and thought I was bullying him because I lo-wanted to be his friend.Expy: You guys think that before I started having a healthier relationship with Lincoln, I was basically similar to oneHelga G. Pataki. I have no idea who she is. Lincoln says he'sfought her beforeand evenraced with her alongside Clyde, but hereallydoesn't wanna elaborate.Foil:I'm this to Bobby on how we treat the ones we lo-lo-lo-lo...care a lot about, since I treat Lincoln rather roughly.I'm also this to Lame-O's cool sister Lynn. Though we don't hang out much, she's just as rompin' and stompin' as me! But... come on, at least I know when to cool it. We both have freckles and are tough tomgirls who bully Lincoln. While my bullying is now just friendly banter, Lynn still wouldn't hesitate to threaten to give Linc a knuckle sandwich.Full-Name Basis: My actual name is Ronalda Anne Santiago, but I'm almost exclusively referred to as \"Ronnie Anne\" by others (the only exception is in that dumbsongLincoln's classmates teased him with).Gasshole: Not now\u2014 thank goodness! \u2014 but according to Abuelo, I used to fart a lot when I was a baby. Donottell anyone!The Ghost: I was never seen when I was first heard of in the third episode of the show where I come from.Give Geeks a Chance: I'm dating Lincoln, *squee!* who is agigantecomic book, sci-fi/fantasy, and video game nerd.Good is Not Nice: I do like Lincoln a lot, but I admit I do treat him rather roughly. He's getting used to it, strangely.Gravity Master: Nope. But if I had a superpower, it'd either be this ortelekinesis.Whatever gets me sicker air.Graceful Ladies Like Purple: Not really. I love purple, but I'm lean, mean and not the least bit feminine.Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Sid Chang,big time. She became my best friend since we both moved to Great Lakes city and she's very keen on doing the stuff I do, like skateboarding. We also both love Twelve is Midnight like how Lincoln loves Smooch.Hidden Depths: The way I act at school is way different from when I act at home. I cook frequently for my mom and Bobby, who I'm openly supportive of. Mainly, I am a beast at domestic chores. Plus, like Breanna Yde, I can sing really well,which the writers never utilize.Watch. Ahem...You ain't even gotta worry, about a thing I gotcha babe, and ain't nobody takin' me away, it's not a game I'm here to stay....Hidden Heart of Gold: Underneath my rough and tumble exterior, I am a devoted girlf-good friend who, in my own way, as far as I'm concerned, is not shy about admitting to Lincoln that I absolutely love him, even \"breaking up\" with him despite wanting to continue their relationship because of all the teasing Lincoln was getting about our dating.Ink-Suit Actor: I wouldn't say that. But some of you guys have been thinking I look exactly like a younger version of my first voice actor, Breanna Yde.Insult of Endearment: I call Lincoln \"Lame-o\" in all of the notes I give him - the same notes I sign with \"sigh\" hugs, kisses, and hearts.In the Hood: I wear a purple hoodie. Just look at me.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I admit, I can be rude and abrasive, but I do actually like Lincoln, make no mistake. I even helped him when he's being teased by \"friends\" for being my boyfriend by slapping him for kissing me, convincing Lincoln's friends that we're not dating.The Lad-ette: Lincoln once thought of me as \"rude and gross\" and thought I was raised by trolls, so I seemed to fit this as far as he was concerned. I can also be fairly aggressive and prone to violence when I'm mad.Large Ham:HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I OVER-DRAMATIZE MY FEELINGS?!MY FEELINGS ARE THE GENUINE ARTICLE! I LOVE LINCOLN A LOT! HE WILL BE MINE! ALL MINE!!WE'LL GET MARRIED, HAVE THREE KIDS AND WE'LL NAME THEM ALLSASUKE, BEN & SIMON!!I WILL DESTROY ALL WHO STAND IN THE WAY OF MY LOVE!!AND THEN I'LL CHANGE MY NAME TOMELON LORD!!!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!(Cue Bobby walking in the room with a bucket of water, splashing it on me and then walking out) Thank you, Bobby. Ahem....please...forget I just said all of that. Especially the Melon Lord part.Limited Wardrobe: I always wear my purple hoodie as purple is my favorite color.Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy:I'm the Masculine Girl (a rough and aggressive tumbler) to Lincoln's Feminine Boy (has a stuffed rabbit and is in touch with his girly side).I'm also the Masculine Girl to my brother Bobby's Feminine Boy, who likes sappy romance movies, and facials. Not to mention his mushy romance with Lori. Which I mostly hate.Multiethnic Name: My name is mostly Latina, which befits my Mexican heritage, but my middle name, \"Anne\", is French.The Napoleon: I am small and a bit of a rough-houser.Nice Mean And In Between: Im the in between to how CJ is really sweet and helpful while Carl can be a real pain sometimes. Between all three of us, we are the children living our familia's bodega.Only Known by Their Nickname: People call me Ronnie Anne rather than my real name, Ronalda. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.Playing Sick: I've faked being sick twice \u2014 the first time was when I tried to get out of my history homework, and the second time was when I wanted to watch a lucha libre match but everyone else was going to watch Tio Carlos win an award. Both times, it led to Abuela falling for it and smothering me with remedies.The Prankster: Just ask Lame-o, whom I constantly pranked back at Royal Woods. I've tied his shoelaces together, put trash in his locker, shoved a sloppy Joe down his pants, and so on. Even after I moved out, I still prank him via mail. Of course, he's had plenty of experience dealing with his prankster of a sister Luan, and he routinely comes over to mi casa to engage in prank wars.Reformed Bully: After my first physical appearance, it seems that my relationship between me and Lincoln is more on the lines of aMasculine Girl, Feminine Boyromance over a bully and her victim. Heck, I seemed to be a lot nicer to him since I first appeared and I do have nice interactions with Lincoln's friends, and my public bullying of Lincoln he is completely okay with so that he isn't teased for having me for a \"squeal\" girlfriend.Secret Relationship: Yes. With Lincoln. And I lo-care for him a lot.Shared Family Quirks:Abuelo and I both love hot dogs. Then again, that's not all that surprising, sincehe'll eat pretty much all foods. My dad loves hot dogs too.Speaking of my dad, he and I are both gamers. He even has his own pair of VR goggles.Tio Carlos and I don't have that much in common, but we do both skateboard.My boy cousins and I are all pranksters.Shipper on Deck: I may find Lori and Bobby's relationship to be a little cheesy, but I do support them as a couple.When Bobby thought she'd broken up with him and fallen in love with someone else, I told him not to let another guy be her Boo-Boo Bear. Unfortunately, he biked all the way to Scotland and missed her completely... ah, classic Bobby Boo-Boo Bear. Never gets old.Strong Family Resemblance: I get my looks from my mom. How did I get so lucky with her?Tomboy: Yes. (Bobby: \"Nini, you're supposed to say more than that!\") All right, fine \u2014 just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm all sugar and spice. I enjoy skateboarding and video games and I don't like mushy stuff.Tomboy and Girly Girl: Let's see... I'm the tomboy to alotofGirly Girls. There's my cousin Carlota, Bobby's girlfriend Lori, my best friend Sid... Although compared to Lincoln's sister Lynn, I'm practically more girly.Tomboyish Ponytail: I wear my hair in a low ponytail, and I'm a real toughie.Tomboyish Voice: I have a fairly deep voice, suiting my tomboyish nature.Tomboy with a Girly Streak: I am also a hardcore tomboy, comparable to, as far as I've heard, two of Lincoln's sisters. I'm a rough cookie who's majorly grossed out by how mushy a lot of typically girly things are, and I enjoy video games and skateboarding. I also wears pink socks and the same type of girly slip-on shoes that Lori wears, not to mention a pink hair decoration in what is a pretty well-kept ponytail. As I've mentioned constantly, I am also quite sensitive, as I cried over Lincoln insulting me. I also started taking a liking toThe Dream Boat, as well, even if I initially didn't like it in the beginning. Mind telling me who you think should go aboard next?Tsundere: Really? You just lump in me in with those anime girls and call it a day? Though I've been informed this character type predates anime, seriously we gotta find a better name. We can't just borrow from thejapon\u00e9sall the time. Also, it does not help that if I were to speak Japanese, I sound likeRie Kugimiya, who Linc says voices these kinds of characters.Uncatty Resemblance:Not really, but my parrot Sergio and I do both have sharp tongues.Vocal Evolution: Back when I lived in Royal Woods, and even for a while after moving in with the Casagrandes, my voice was quite rough-and-tumble and deep. Around the first time I met Sid, my voice has become sweeter and less rough.Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Despite being mostly fearless, I have stage fright. In my defense, it's not just run-of-the-mill stage fright; I have areason! Y'see, when I was in the first grade, I was in a play, cast as a tree, and I fell down, right in front of everyone, and someone shouted, \"Timber!\". Talk about embarrassing!Youthful Freckles: I have some freckles on my cheeks. I also has this with Lincoln and two of his sisters Luna and Lynn.Well, guys, it's been fun reading out my personality traits, but now I've gotta go. I promised I'd join Lincoln in a few \"Band Battle\" rounds (it's this new game Lincoln got) and I'm the singer. Gotta practice my singing on the way. Smell you later, Lame-os! Ahem...Rock and roll is running through my veins, hey, hey, electric soul like wires to my brain, hey, hey..."}
{"text": "Like, hello there. My name is Norville Rogers, but everyone calls me Shaggy. I'm only seventeen, but, like, I'm sorta famous in my hometown because, like, I end up solving mysteries with my pals Fred, Velma, Daphne and my dog,Scooby-Doo!Have you, like, got any food? No? I'd better order a pizza.While I'm ordering the pizza, you can read my tropes here.Tropes that, like, apply to meAbsurdly Ineffective Barricade: Like, this has happened to me so many times thatI'm starting to make sure thatall my barricades can be undone just by pulling one thing out!Achievements in Ignorance: Like, there are a bunch of times when I've, like, done impressive things just 'cause I was really scared. Like, there was that one timeI shaked the bars of an old-fashioned jail cell I was in so hard it, like, collapsed!Arch-Enemy: That guy Phibes was like, a real pain in my and Scooby's side when we were, like,living in my Uncle Albert's mansion.Sure glad we don't see much of him anymore!Ascended Fanon: Like, you guys think I can goUltra Instinctand destroy, like, anything that comes across me with only 0.1% of my power, mostly 'cuz of that one time Ibeat up a buncha bikers while hypnotized. That's all just a buncha memes, though...but there are a few differences between UI and my powers.MySuper Formis, like,all green and stuff, while Ultra Instinct is, like, white, and I don't even know what it does. All I know is it's strong enough to take on that Scorpion guy without a scratch on me after, and it lets me go toe to toe with the likes of Superman. Could I fight Goku himself? Eh, I'll let you figure it out. That's too convoluted a question for me to even fathom!Ambiguous Disorder: Like,some doc thinks that my cowardice is some kinda panic disorder!But, like, I dunno if that's true since, like, he couldn'thypnotize it outta me.Big Eater: I could, like, eat a million sandwiches! Or, like,ten of my patented Super Shaggy Sandwiches! Can I help it if my first toy was a garbage disposal?Bizarre Taste in Food: I, like, love a lot of food that most people would consider, like, weird, like chocolate-covered corn on the cob or hot dogs, hot dog tacos, and hot fudge pizza. Velma thinks I must have a cast-iron stomach. And that's not mentioning Scooby Snacks. I know they're supposed to be dog treats, butthey taste just like caramel cookies!Catchphrase: I say \"Zoinks!\" like, a lot. I also say like, like many times.Charles Atlas Superpower: Like, sometimes I can outrun Scoob even if he's, like, running on all fours!Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Sometimes I'm, like, a bit of a goof.Collector of the Strange: Like, I have the world's biggest collection of decorator belt buckles! I think I have, like, 653.Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Like, you wouldn't exactly know this since I'm mostly a scaredy-cat, but I'm capable of doing things likefighting biker gangs.Dagwood Sandwich: For me a sandwich isn't big enough until it has, like, at least a dozen slices of bread.Fanon: I've heard that some people think I, like, do drugs. Well,I don't, even if I seem high sometimes. Seriously, askmy lawyer, Harvey; I'm clean, and he, like, proved it!Depending on the Writer: Like, I go on and off a vegan diet a lot.Food as Bribe: Do you have, like, any idea how many times Scoob and I have been bribed with Scooby Snacks to do anything? We're practically, like, theTrope Codifiers!Like, whenScoob and me discovered 'em back when they were called Sorcerer Snacks, it was aDecon-Recon Switch\u2014Daphne thinks that bribing us to do stuff is, like, amoral, but the way me and Scoob see it, Fred just gives us Scooby Snacks for stuff we always have to do anyway!Forced Transformation:Like, one time I became awerewolf!And, like, the title of that movie alone should cue you in on how much I liked it.Also Ithoughtthis was the casewhen I went to Tokyo and ate a cursed pizza.Fortunately it wasjust a trick, like, same as always!Friend Versus Lover: Like,when I was dating Velma, she and Scooby didn't like sharing my attention. It didn't turn out well....Girl of the Week: Like, I've had lots of girlfriends! There wasGoogie,Crystal,I tried dating Velma for a while, but that didn't really work out, and, like,her sister Madelyn has a crush on me.Going Through the Motions: Like, I run the exact same way almost every time\u2014I lean down in, like, almost a sixty degree angle, and, like, tuck in my arms and run like crazy!Heroes Love Dogs: Me and Scoob, we've been like two hungry peas in a pod,ever since we were kids!Heterosexual Life-Partners: Well, there's Scoob, obviously, he and I always stick together even when the rest of the gang splits up, but other than him, I also owe Chris Paul my lifefor sharing his pizza!Hidden Depths: Like, no one would guess by looking at me, but I'm actually a pretty good gymnast and track runner in school. It like, gets a lot of use, considering how often I get chased by creepazoids in costumes.Hypno Fool:Like, I once got hypnotized by this doctor to cure my scaredy-cat tendenciesso whenever someone says a trigger word I turn into this brave guy who spouts, like, constant movie one-liners. Apparently that's where you guys thought I'd developedUltra Instinct.I Do Not Like Crubeens and Farl: Like, Ireallydon't.Interclass Friendship: Like, I'm friends with more than a few famous people, likeChris Paul and Sia!Jerkass Has a Point: Like,the CEO of the company that makes Sorcerer Snacks renamed 'em after Scooby instead of me.I gotta admit, it makes sense that kids would wanna buy snacks from, like, a talking dog instead of a bearded guy.Like Is, Like, a Comma: Like, I guess I do, like, say \"like\" between my sentences a lot.Some sci-fi author dude, like, totally called me on it when I first met him.Limited Wardrobe: I nearly always wear, like, this green T-shirt and baggy red pants. Like, sometimes I'll wear a red shirt for variety's sake (and I busted out a wardrobe update, like,when I inherited a million dollars), but I don't deviate from it too often. Like, part of it is most other pants are too tight for me\u2014Shaggy likes it baggy!Although, thereisone thing I change a lot: I wear a different belt buckle for every mystery!Lovable Coward: I guess I do, like, scare easily. So does Scooby. Like, can you blame us, though? Sometimes we have to deal withrealghosts!Luck-Based Search Technique: Like, I used to be theTrope Namerback when it was, like, called the \"Shaggy Search Technique!\"Messy Hair: My hair is pretty messy, like, nearly all the time.Multiple-Choice Past: Like, I can't remember ifI named Scooby after Scooby Snacksor ifthe company that made them renamed them after Scooby.Never Gets Fat: Scoob and I eat awholelotta stuff in one sitting, but we, like, always stay trim. Like,Fred thinks it's 'cause I have a high metabolism, but it also has to do with the fact that, like, Scoob and I spend a lot of time running from monsters, and I, like, go on and off a vegan diet.Noodle Incident: Like,you wanna know how Chris Paul saved my life? Okay, but I warn ya, it's a seriously scary story!Like, I hadn't eaten in three or four hours, and Chris Paul shared his pizza with me!Only Known by Their Nickname: My given name is Norville, but, like, nobody calls me that. And, like, I used to be called \"Buzz\" when I was a kid 'cause I had a buzzcut until I was 10.Race Lift: Like, there's thisBlack version of mein one of the many retellings of how the gang and I first met! This guy's got my boundless appetite, but he doesn't even go by Shaggy\u2014he sticks with his real name. And he's completely hopeless around women and doesn't have my cowardice!Trademark Favorite Food: I've got, like, a bunch of favorite foods! Scooby Snacks, sandwiches, hot dogs, pizza. Makes me hungry just thinking about them. But my signature is mySuper Shaggy Sandwich!Like,when I was living in my uncle Albert's mansion, I picked up a taste for, like, hot dog tacos and pizza sticks, 'cause Uncle Albert's nanotech Scooby Snacks, like, only work on animals.Like, if Ihadto pick an absolute favorite, though, it would have to be, like,extra cheese pizza with pickles!True Companions: There's me and Scoob of course, but like, can't forget the rest of the good ol' gang either! Even when we go our separate ways, we always seem to find our way back together."}
{"text": "(It is suggested to read this page in the voice ofAlan Oppenheimer.Mark Hamillisalso acceptable,and so isBen Diskin.noteFrank Langellais fine if you\u2019re into subtlety.)I dare anything! I am SKELETOR!Greetings, pitiful fools out there!I am...Skeletor!The Lord of Destruction, master of Snake Mountain and future ruler of Eternia! Once I was Prince Keldor of the House of Miro, but such a meager title is unfitting for my greatness. My attempts to take the throne have lead to a rather drastic change in my life, transforming me into the man you see before you! For a long time, I have sought to capture Castle Greyskull to possess the powers within. One thing has stood in my way, however . . .HE-MAN ! ! !That... that... do-gooder has thwarted my malevolent efforts time and time again and made fools of my pathetic minions. Mark my words, I WILL conquer Greyskull and use its powers to spread my glorious evil throughout the universe! Not even He-Man can stop me then!(CueEvil Laugh)Tropes associated with me include:Adaptational Badass: Fools! You dare to implyI, Skeletor, am not up to my own measure!? Preposterous! ...That said, you people have had a flattering tendency to depict me in a way more fitting of my magnificence than those pitiful do-gooders would give me. Why, I even score victories over that muscle-headed dolt intwo of themost recent retellingsof my greatness!noteWhat do youmeanIlosteventually?! Bah!Archenemy: He-Man, naturally. His twin sister is this to a lesser extent but she's more of that batbrain Hordak's problem.Awesome Ego: And you better believe I am second to none, as I amtherightful ruler of both Eternia and the universe!Bad Boss: Every single time my minions fail me, I berate them and threaten them with bodily harm, butcan you blame me?Beware the Silly Ones: You dare to call mesillyto my face!? Imightbe prone to the theatrics ofmy positionfrom time to time... but make no mistake about me, fool, I am the deadliest thing on Eternia andIwill claim what is rightfully mine!Big Bad: And very proud of it. Flogg may have thought himself in charge but I was still the big bad.Cain and Abel: My oafish brother Randor is entirely unworthy of the throne! Trifling circumstance allowedhimwhere I rightfully belong, it is only right that I should take what's mine.Card-Carrying Villain: It\u2019s to be expected from the likes of me.Co-Dragons:Can you believe I was forced into cooperating with Hordak by his boss Horde Prime? The indignity!For my own Evil Warriors, Evil-Lyn and Beast Man are my own immediate henchmen.between Evil-Lyn's magical knowledge and Beast Man's terrible strength, there is little on Eternia that can stop my evil plans!Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: I am NO fool, it is a dog-eat-dog world out there and sooner or later someone, eventhatdimwitted sniwey hero, will get wise to see an opportunity to strike at mewhen we are forced to align interests... but, I make sure I will strike first when they least expect it,count on it.The Dragon:Flogg made me his second in command, little does he realise thatI was the one really running the show.Evil-Lyn has consistently proven herself to be my most competent minion and the one I can most trust to execute my orders,her occasional bout of disloyalty notwithstanding.Even Evil Has Loved Ones: I do care about my pets Panthor and Grr. I like them because they are as mean as me.Evil Is Hammy: Ah, yes, I\u2019m very proud of my theatrics.Evil Is Petty: Petty? PETTY?!? There is NOTHING petty about my evil!Evil Laugh: I love to laugh whenever I plot something sinister.Evil Uncle: That bumbling boy Prince Adam is just another pathetic obstacle in my way to the throne. Honestly, it's an embarrassment that we're related.Horned Humanoid: When I'm able to get my hands on greater power still, my magnificent skull often grows horns to show my greatness better than any crown!In the Hood: If I didn't wear my purple hood over my skull, some morons would mistake me for Scareglow.Large Ham: Yes, I admit I can be quitetheatrical.So?Magic Staff: My Havoc Staff is a great reservoir of dark power to work my magic through.In another realm of existence, it serves as atotemto wieldthe Power of Havoc.Red Eyes, Take Warning: When my empty eye sockets aren't so empty, my red eyes properly reflect the evil and power I possess, nyehehehe!Skeletal Appendage:Another version of myselfnot only has aSkull for a Head, but his left arm from the elbow down is skeletal as well. That cursed guardian of Grayskull tricked him into losing the flesh on his arm to the Power of Havoc! But he showed her in the end, as any true Skeletor should!Skull for a Head: And such a lovely shade of yellow too.noteOf course,Frank Langella\u2018s version of me has a white skull for a head.Trash Talk: One of my many fortes, as my tongue is as sharp as any of my spells or my own strength during a fight! Why, I could write a book about whatyoudon't know."}
{"text": "I'm ready! I'm ready!Good morning,TV Tropesand all who inhabit it! My name isSpongeBob SquarePants! I live in Bikini Bottom in a pineapple with my pet snail Gary! I also work at the Krusty Krab with my fantastic boss Mr. Krabs and my neighbor Squidward! I see you also got him onthis page, too!noteSquidward:NO! Don't youdareleave your page, SpongeBob! I mean, I don't leavemine!After anamazing dayat work, I go home and hang out with Patrick. We play all the time! We love blowing bubbles, playing tag, jellyfishing, and so much more! I'm also friends with Sandy Cheeks, and weloveto play karate, or should I say,KA-RA-TAY!She's so sweet and kind. All of my friends are so sweet and kind! I also love feeding my pet snail, Gary. Gary's also one of my best friends, even if he can't talk.BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! On land, you weird-looking humans turned my adventures intoa cartoononNickelodeon(I really love those!) AND I'M THE STAR! Even though I'm not a starfish. But I don't really like bragging. And of course, if you're reading this page, you should read it inTom Kenny's voice, or for Spanish-speaking users,Luis Carre\u00f1o!T is for Tropes that apply to me-ee!Acquired Situational Narcissism:Being in that Krusty Krab commercialkindagot to my head. I only appeared in the commercial for a few seconds when the commercial lasted around three minutes. I don't think that many people even remembered seeing me.Winning truckloads of cash and becoming impossibly rich caused me to become a big fancy snob and even forget Patrick was my best pal. It didn't last long as all the friends I'd made only liked me for my money. I don't want a rich and fancy life if it makes me forget who my real best friend is.All-Loving Hero: I really love everything and everyone! Do you wanna hang out? We can play tag, blow bubbles, and jellyfish\u2026And Call Him \"George\": I'm so affectionate to just about everyone! Okay, maybe too affectionate.Annoying Laugh: What do you mean\u2026 \"annoying\"?Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: I will admit that I can be distracted sometimes, but... oh, hey, a cookie!Baby's First Words: Mine were \"May I take your order?\" I also said \"Krabby patty!\" and \"Mmm, yummy!\" as an unborn fetus.Badass Adorable: I've even saved the world on quite a few occasions, and I'm themasterof KA-RA-TAY! Okay, so I'm not as good as Sandy or that Liu Kang guy, but I still gotta count, right?Befriending the Enemy: I've done this with Plankton before. Too bad it didn't work out. Nevertheless, there's still some good in Plankton!Berserk Button: I may be a simple sponge with a good heart, but doNOTtake advantage of my kindness. Squidward (and even Mr. Krabs) justhadto learn this the hard way.Beware the Nice Ones: I don'tusuallyget angry, but when I do, watch out. I even choked the life out of Mr. Krabs for not hiring Squidward back over a dime.Born Lucky: Now, I don't wannabragor anything\u2026 but good things usually seem to happen to me at random. Guess a positive attitude goes a long way!Break the Cutie:Yeah, it's happened. There was that mean customer who yelled at me over not getting a drink, Squidward playing that nasty April Fool's prank on me (though my bawling helped with a counter-prank), the time Gary ran away from home, and when I even got fired once or twice!I also felt very hurt when all my friends called me\u2026 (grunt) \"Idiot Boy\"!Broken Ace:I've taken and failed my boating test thirty-eight\u2026 no, wait\u2026 thirty-ninetimes! Wait, that was from a while ago. Now, it's\u2026 gimme a second to count\u2026 oh. That's a lot.The time Bubble Bass made me think I forgot the pickles, I lost my confidence and forgot loads of things.And when Squidward insulted my artwork, I lost my creative genius and could only do it by the book.Bunny-Ears Lawyer: I REALLY LOVE FLIPPING KRABBY PATTIES!!!! And Mr. Krabs says I'm the best! Anyway, let's go jellyfishing!Captain Oblivious: Oblivious? I don't know what that word means. But now that you mention it, I might have heard Squidward call me oblivious before,so it must be a compliment!Thanks, Squiddy, old pal!noteSquidward:Go away!Captain Obvious: Did you know that tropes are blue?Catchphrase: There's \"order up\", \"barnacles\", and my favorite, \"I'm ready!\"Chaste Toons: Did you know I have not one, not two, butthreewhole nephews?Childhood Brain Damage: How did you know that?!Child Prodigy: I made my very first Krabby Patty back when I was a baby.Class Clown: What? You've gotta be kidding me! I'll have you know that I amindeedaverydecent student. Just ask Mrs. Puff. She knows best!Cloudcuckoolander: I just look at the world in a different way. The best way ever!Comically Missing the Point: I thought this was TV TRAIN, as in a choo-choo train!Companion Cube:I have a spatula named Spat!I also fell in love with a Krabby Patty. It was too perfect to eat. It was weird, now that I think about it.Competition Freak: I got so competitive that I didn't want Squidward to win the Employee of the Month award.Corrupt the Cutie: I've gotten manipulated by a lot of bad guys, especially Plankton when he's tried to use me to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula. Rude!Cuddle Bug: I love hugging people!Dark and Troubled Past: I have a cousin named Blackjack who always tormented me. He stopped doing it when he was sentenced to 10 years in prison for littering.Determinator: Nothing will stop me from performing my duty for the Krusty Krab, whether it's delivering a pizza or saving Mr. Krabs from an execution! And no matter how long it takes (and how much destruction I may cause), nothing will stop me from getting my boating license!I promise to do my best to keep the Krabby patty formula away from Plankton! And one time when I made a bet with Squidward to not cry for the rest of the day, I managed to hold in my tears all the way until midnight!Depending on the Writer: Huh. I guess writers sure have a hard time portraying me sometimes.For my popularity, the citizens of Bikini Bottom either seem to like me for my kind nature or seem to hate me for being a big goof. Sometimes, I don't think they even know me.When it comes to my fry cooking skills, everyone sees me as either a celebrity chef or just a lowly fry cook.In the past, I was good enough to hold my own against Sandy in KA-RA-TAE (and even beat her), but more recently, Sandy usually wins...easily.Sometimes I'm smart, sometimes\u2026 not so much?I can be really civilized, super fancy, and well-organized, but sometimes I just care about having fun!Sometimes, I'm seen as too weak to even lift a twig with marshmallows as dumbbells, but I've also been strong enough to\u2026 lift Mr. Krabs off his feet while grabbing him by the neck. Wow.The Ditz: Me? Dumb? Nah. Maybe I'm a bit na\u00efve, but I'm nowhere near dumb.The Dog Bites Back:There was the time I got back at Squidward for treating me like his personal slave.There was the time I felt bad for writing stories that ruined the lives of other Bikini Bottomites, but Mr. Krabs took Spat from me and demanded that I write the most outlandish story yet. I did, alright. I published in great detail how Mr. Krabs forced me to write the lies that ruined people, who then took their money back from him.Doing It for the Art: I don't work for the Krusty Krab for money (Mr. Krabs hardly pays me and Squidward anyways), I just love making good Krabby Patties and making everyone happy!Drama Queen: I tend to overreact over the smallest things.Dreadful Musician: I claimed to be a master at the bassinet\u2026 apparently, I thought wrong. I do way better on the ukelele, though!Drill Sergeant Nasty: I acted as this when training Gary for the Snail Olympics. Though I was too harsh on poor Gare-bear.Drives Like Crazy: I haven't earned my license\u2026 BUT IWILLSOMEDAY!Dude Looks Like a Lady: I bet it's the eyelashes. But do I look like aprettylady?Easily Forgiven: I'm a very forgiving person to people who have mistreated me. Well, maybe too forgiving.Easily Impressed: Oh, I was impressed by Squidward reading a book. Sure proud he knows how to spend his time.Early-Installment Weirdness: My original laugh sounded low and deep instead of the high-pitched one everyone knows me for.Everyone Has Standards:Sure I'm determined to keep the Krabby Patty secret formula from Plankton, but when Mr. Krabs kept scaring him with his fear of whales, I didn't like it and called him out! Too bad I scared off Plankton at the end of the episode while Mr. Krabscompletely got away with it!Sorry, everyone! (\"Frankendoodle\" taught me to watch myPractical Jokes, too.)It's true that I often feel concerned and worry for Squidward at times, such as when he fainted when I invited him to stay at the pineapple when his house burnt down when he didn't make it out of Hotel Halibut when we were forced to evacuate, and not to mention that Sunday when I tried to get his Sunday papers for him and he called me and Patrick out for stealing his pedicure, and I tried to apologize and offer him a cake as a present. Emphasis on try.Even the Loving Hero Has Hated Ones: While I love everyone in Bikini Bottom, the only person I outright can't is Bubble Bass because he made me lose my confidence when he said I forgot the pickles. Turns out later that he hid the pickles under his tongue to mock me! He's even sat on Plankton once when hewasn'tdoing anything wrong!Evil Laugh: When I met the Strangler.Extreme Doormat: Some people like Plankton say I'm this on occasion. Well, I'm a sponge. I just don't see any reason to be mean.Eye Scream: Sure I tend to get my eyes injured at times.Once I spilled bubble soap in them to entertain some kids. They loved it!I also got mustard and hot sauce in them for fun a few times. It hurt, but it was fun anyway.When I spilled a blob of ketchup and made a mess, I accidentally sprayed my eyes instead.Mr. Krabs once made my eyes burn like they were full of lava thanks to his flashlight.When Patrick and I fled the Toy Barrel, I had a literal eye burn from the sunlight due to spending a long time in the darkness!During the time I got \"Stuck in the Wringer\", I caught a left black eye.I also accidentally destroyed the entry of Bubble Buddy's hometown, Bubble Town, after getting bubble soap in my eyes.Felony Misdemeanor: A customer ordered a medium soda and I gave him a LARGE! I GAVE HIM A LARGE! I soiled the good Krusty Krab name! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED\u2014 hey, why are you poking me? I mean, it tickles, but what do you mean by an \"off switch\"?Flanderization: Boy, I've become a LOT more na\u00efve and eccentric over the years. And I also let everyonewalk over me more! Squidward says the whole town ended up acting a lot more unusual than normal, but I and everyone else calmed down after a while. Maybe Plankton did it?For Happiness: I love to make everyone happy!Genius Ditz: I'm very good at math! 2 plus 2 is 4, and 4 is 2\u2026 squared.Good with Numbers: If you need change for a dollar, do you want 4 quarters? Or 10 dimes? Or 20 nickels? Or 100 pennies? Or 1 quarter, 3 dimes, 7 nickels, and 10 pennies?Gleeful and Grumpy Pairing: I'm the Gleeful to Squidward's Grumpy. I'm cheerful and optimistic, and I consider Squidward to be my close friend.Grew a Spine: The time Gary got addicted to Snail Bites and I couldn't help but give him more and more until there was none left in the world, Patrick taught me the best way to make him stop was to firmly say \"no!\"Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: I am yellow and very kind.Healing Factor: Being a sponge, it's obvious.Heterosexual Life-Partners: Patrick is my best friend in the whole wide world! Also, my best friend is Squidward!Horrible Judge of Character: The fandom thinks I'm this about certain people. Come on! Mr. Krabs is such a good boss. Squidward is a good friend! And Mrs. Puff is the nicest teacher in the world!Iconic Outfit: White shirt, brown pants with belt, and black shoes with white socks with blue and red stripes. My pants are as square as yours truly, hence my name!Identity Amnesia: When I ran away from Bikini Bottom after being called \"Idiot Boy\" so many times, I hit my head and forgot who I was! It was then I assumed the identity of \"CheeseHead BrownPants\".Idiot Hero: Hey, that's mean!Innocent Blue Eyes: My large blue eyes represent my innocence.Innocently Insensitive: Some feel I ruin everybody's day, mostly Squidward and Mrs. Puff.Jerkass Ball: Looking back, I do regret the times I've become a massive jerk toward the people I care about.I still feel bad about what I did to Gary after I adopted Fluffy as a friend for Gary. Fluffy was therealbad boy and I should've known it!Keet: I'm happy and I'm proud!Kindhearted Cat Lover: Snail lover, actually, wonder what you mean by that. But I do love my pet snail, Gary!Kindhearted Simpleton: Well, I wouldn't say I'm stupid, but while I'm not a genius, I do have a big heart!Loony Fan: I'm a huge fan of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! And there's Kevin the Sea Cucumber, but he turned out to be a huge jerk!Magnetic Hero: I make friends with almost everyone I come in contact with, including Squidward!Married to the Job: I love working at the Krusty Krab!Mr. Imagination: Imaaginaaations!Multipurpose Tongue: Oh, I can use my tongue for many things! Sandboarding... holding... who knows what?Nice Guy: You know what they say! To get respect, you need to give respect!No Sense of Personal Space: Squidward says that I'm too chummy around him.Nosy Neighbor: Come on! There's no way I would bug Squidward that much!Oblivious to Hatred: What do you mean Squidward hates me?Oh, you mean that? Don't worry, it's no big deal.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Nice as I may seem, but when there are moments that seem far too uptight, then be prepared for me to go full-on serious mode.Papa Wolf: Don't mess with my Gare-bear!The Pollyanna: Always gotta have an attitude of gratitude!Prank Gone Too Far: I love pranks, but I'm not gonna go around being asadistabout it.noteSquidward:Yeah, yeah, thanks for reminding me.What? I never said anything about you!Prone to Tears: I admit it. I am a crybaby. I once stubbed my toe watering my spice garden and cried for 20 minutes. Apparently, I didn't know I cried longer than that until Squidward brought it up.Rage-Breaking Point: Though I'm usually a good guy when things don't go my way that's when I BLOW MY TOP!Rapid-Fire Nail Biting: I once had a bad habit of biting my nails.Rubber-Hose Limbs: I do this a lot, hence being a sea sponge. In the case of my arms? Hahaha, I guess they're happy!Sarcasm-Blind: Squidward's jokes are funny!Signature Laugh: DAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAH!Small Name, Big Ego: I tend to be full of myself at times.Granted, I'm a sponge and I live underwater anyway.Speaks Fluent Animal: I can speak snail language, though a little bit. It's enough to help me understand Gary.Stalker Without a Crush: Stalker? Oh, don't be silly. I don't stalk Squidward. I'm always eager to know what he's doing.Super Gullible: I tend to believe everything I'm told. Once Squidward told me all of Mr. Krabs' secrets when I was acting manager.Supreme Chef: Oh yes! Everyone loves my Krabby Patties! Even Squidward couldn't resist them!Taking Advantage of Generosity: Sadly, people often take advantage of my kindness. Like that time Squidward wouldn't leave my house to find another job and treated me like his personal slave or that time everyone in Bikini Bottom used my flying abilities to do the simplest tasks like picking out a tie.Took a Level in Cynic: In the later seasons, I've become more aware that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. I'm starting to see through people's manipulations and I will put my foot down when Mr. Krabs goes too far in his abuse of his authority.Trademark Favorite Food: Krabby Patties! K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y says I!The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Iremember encounteringMermaid MannoteAquaman: It's Aquaman! Not Mermaid Man or Ocean Man!. He wanted to stop me from saving Bikini Bottom from the clutches of Plankton because he thinks I was the one destroying it.If only I could have stopped him from attacking me, we might've been great buddies. Sorry Water Man. I hope you enjoy my drawn tombstone for you.Undying Loyalty: I'm fully dedicated to the Krusty Krab, and Mr. Krabs is a great boss!Unknown Rival: Plankton is also normally a very close friend of mine, depending on if he is trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula again.Vitriolic Best Buds: Despite how much of a grouch Squidward is, he's still a great friend! (Squidward: No! We are not friends, you buffoon!) See, Squidward agrees with me! (Squidward: *sigh* You people really need to come to my page.)Workaholic: I love working at the Krusty Krab so much that I would go insane if I was forced to take the day off or worse, take a vacation.Would Hit a Girl: I mean, ka-ra-tay with Sandy is just a game, right?Well, that's about all you need to know about me! Thank you so much for reading and be sure to visitSquidward's pagewhen and if you have any spare time! Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go and get back to work flipping those patties.Alternative Title(s):Sponge Bob Square Pants Sponge Bob Square Pants"}
{"text": "Pictured: Someone who really wishes he wasn't here right now.\"How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?\"\u2014Meon my annoying, inconsiderate neighbors.Hello there. My name isSquidward Q. Tentacles, Bikini Bottom's resident artist, clarinet player, andSupreme Chefextraordinaire. My talents would probably be more recognized if it wasn't for my obnoxious next-door neighbors, SpongeBob and Patrick, and the fact that I'm forced to spend my weekdays trapped in the prison of high cholesterol that is the Krusty Krab. All I ever want in life is peace and quiet, but between being stuck at that cash register all day and forced to put up with that annoying sponge'soverly cheerful attitude,getting my wish is never easy. Fortunately,even when he finally got his own page here, to my obvious misfortune,he still has to stay on it for the most partwhile I get to keep this oneallto myself. Sucker! I got to admit, that's not so much compared to what Iusuallyhave to deal with.Oh, and if that's not enough, thatstuck-up snobSquilliam Fancysonalways thinkshe can be better than meby showing me up every chance he gets.Served him right when I put together that marching band and blew everyone away at the Bubble Bowl!How about you read this in the voice ofRodger Bumpass, my incredibly talented voice actor? At least it'll be different from thatFrench narratorwho keeps butting in on my everyday life!Artistically unique tropes that apply to me:Abusive Parents: And Grandparents. My mother was rather dismissive of me and even supportedSandywhen she insulted me during \"Sportz?\". My grandmother wasn't kind to me, either; in \"Chum Fricassee\", after finding out I've been using her chum recipe wrong, she attacks me by hitting my foot with her walker frequently.Accidental Truth: One time, after SpongeBob's non-stop laughing nearly drove me insane, I lied to him that if he didn't can it with the laughter, he'd blow out his \"laugh box\" and never be able to laugh again. Too bad it came back to haunt me after I revealed the trick and laughed over it. How was I supposed to know laugh boxes were real?Agony of the Feet: In \"House Fancy\", that yellow dimwit crushed my foot with a table and ripped off my toenail! Ugh! The internet community was pretty grossed out by that scene, and I can't blame them. As a matter of fact,how did I grow out a toenail?I know we get acloser look sometimes, but...Even to this day, I wonderif it was still worth getting to win against Squilliam.That\u2019s not really somethingI should be having second thoughts about.All of the Other Reindeer: Where do I even begin? Between those moronic neighbors of mine constantly putting me down, my cheapskate boss forcing me to stand at that register all day without any compensation, and the people of Bikini Bottom'sirrational hatred of me(maybe more thanthe other way around), it seems like nobody wants to respect me!Arch-Enemy: I may have flat-out said that I consider SpongeBob to be the bane of my existence, but he's still just a loser irrelevant neighbor. If there's anyone more qualified for this, which may or may not be saying something, it would have to be Squilliam. I can at least remember how longhe'sbeen tormenting me, namely back in high school and for being aSmug Snaketo me.Amazing Technicolor Wildlife: Well not really, I might look blue at first glance, but it's only because I live underwater. When SpongeBob was messing around with his stupid reef blower, he made me turn purple without any water!Animals Hate Me: That yellow idiot's moronic snail actuallyattacksme, and when those morons brought me on their camping trip, I was constantly attacked and nearly mauled to death by a Sea Bear! Although, I guess I did set him off bywearing a sombrero in a goofy fashion and screeching like a chimpanzee.Not Annoying At All Laugh: My laugh isNOTannoying, it's just very honky sounding because of my nose.Anti-Hero: I admit it, I'm rather cranky, sarcastic, and hate everyone around me, but sometimes I show that I'm a good person deep down.Anti-Villain: Don't remind me. Apparently, I'm supposed to be an antagonist just because I despise that yellow doofus, even thoughhekeeps bothering me all the time!Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: There was that time I turned into a giant after SpongeBob and Patrick used too much of the growth spray.Attention Whore: OK fine, when I'm not keeping to myself, I like to demand people's attention by displaying interpretive dancing or playing my clarinet really loudly. There, I said it!Bait-and-Switch Suicide: I don't know why everyone thought I would kill myself when I stuck my head in the oven and put up a birdcage. Let's be honest, as miserable as my life may be,I probably would've done it a long time ago.I've evensurvived plenty of other stuffthatshouldhave killed me. Sometimes I wonder if the sources of my misery, such as those two morons,are actually keeping me alive... For the wrong reasons, of course.Beautiful Dreamer: Or so my neighbors think. I do look very attractive if I do say so myself.Berserk Button: Go ahead, take a wild guess whoand/orwhat. It's not like I care which is worse.Good Neighbor Instinct: Sometimes, I can show that I do care for SpongeBob, like when I tried to make it up to him when he was sad about Christmas. When me and SpongeBob were about to be murdered by the \"Hash-Slinging Slasher\", I actually hugged him. I did it in fear, OK?Oh, and I schemed with Mr. Krabs to humiliate that buffoon intonevergoing near the hooks again.Harsh? Yes. Possibly life-saving? Definitely.After a rude customer made him cry after we went throughDavy Jones' Lockerto deliver him a pizza, I decided to give him a piece of my mind and knocked that ungrateful jerk out.Born Unlucky: It goes without saying. Will I ever go a day without getting injured, humiliated, or suffering some kind of misery?Break the Haughty: I admit! My arrogance and jerky attitude do get the better of me very, very often!Brilliant, but Lazy: Hey, I CAN win the employee of the month award if I wanted to! I just don't care to do any work because the award is just a big scam! I think even that one time I actually tried to win was just to get back at SpongeBob for going crazy about it.Brutal Honesty: I'm always quick to tell the two imbeciles what they need to hear than what they want to hear, not that's ever going to get through their thick skulls.Bullying the Dragon: Looking back on \"The Camping Episode\", I regret my decision to deliberately provoke the Seabear! Needless to say,it DIDN'T end well for me!Please don't remind me again! The same can be said for dealing with Patrick's big dumb sister.Burger Fool: Well, that's what happens when you work at the Krusty Krab!Butt-Monkey: I solely exist just to be the show's punching bag. Howwonderfulis that?Cannot Spit It Out: I was forced to apologize to SpongeBob for that cruel April Fool's prank, but I didn't find that easy enough.Cannot Tell a Joke: I'm able to tell a joke, but it falls flat due to my lack of enthusiasm. Oh well.Can't Live with Them, Can't Live without Them: As much as I can't stand that yellow headache SpongeBob, there was a time I did miss being around him. \"Squidville\" comes to mind.Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Unfortunately to SpongeBob and Patrick as I have to zip their mouths shut before they could speak.The Comically Serious: Being surrounded by a wacky world full of annoying idiots is so amusing to the viewers. Whatever.Cosmic Plaything: It seems the heavens above created me to be their plaything. You don't know how horrible it is.I may not be a nice person,but it\u2019s still more than I actually deserve, sheesh.Cranky Neighbor: Thanks to living next door to a yellow doofus who will never leave me alone, I'm the most iconic example of this trend. They might as well rename it \"The Squidward\", but it's usually the other way around.Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass:Who're you calling a moron!?Well, anyway, I'm not exactly the most intimidating guy around, but if I see the Green Sun of Neptune, I turn into a giant feral octopus that is one of the biggest and most dangerous creatures in Bikini Bottom.Deadpan Snarker: I never hold back my sharp wits against those who are annoyingly moronic, especially SpongeBob and Patrick, but their little brainscan't comprehend sarcasm.Dirty Coward: Dirty? Well, excuse you! When the world is so messed up and you\u2019re stuck living with nitwits, I\u2019m only out for myself!The Dog Bites Back: When I'm not on the receiving end of some cruel misfortune, I got one of these every now and then, and it feels so good!One time, Mr. Krabs turned the Krusty Krab into a luxury hotel and forced me into catering to Patrick's every whim citing, \"We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request.\" So I quit and then used the policy against him. That'll teach ol' man Krabs.There was that time when that big oaf Patrick became \"king\" and demanded that all of the citizens hand over their stuff to him because he and SpongeBob said so. Worse, he demolished my house so he can make a Ferris Wheel. I was the one who got everyone to realize that the pink doofus has no real claim to power, and has no right to boss them around and force them to hand over their stuff to him. When SpongeBob tried to convince me to sign a treaty pledging loyalty to the dimwit, I responded by shoving it into one of his face craters. Take that, SpongeBrain!There was the time Mr. Krabs left SpongeBob in charge as acting manager, and he tried to boss me around. So I told SpongeBob a bunch ofKrusty Krab \"secrets\", and made him do all the dirty work. After that, Mr. Krabs ended up washing dishes, a random customer frying the Krabby patties, SpongeBob holding a bunch of customers hostage with his silly dancing, and me napping the day away! Best day at work ever!And let's not forget that time I read SpongeBob's diary to everyone in Bikini Bottom all just to get back at him for everything he put me through for 9 seasons. Of course, SpongeBob didn't ruin my day this time,and that only made me the bad guy. But I don't care!It was so worth it!Dreadful Musician: Oh, everyone's a critic. Well, I'll have you know I'm a decent clarinet player. The mood I'm in only depends on how well I play it, not that I sound awful.Emotionally Tongue-Tied: I had so much of a hard time apologizing to SpongeBob for that awful prank I pulled on him that doing so caused my head to explode.Enraged by Idiocy: When you're stuck with two simpletons like SpongeBob and Patrick, yes, you know I'll get mad.Everyone Has Standards: As much as SpongeBob bothers me to no end, I was shocked and disgusted that Mr. Krabs wouldsell his soul for 62 cents.Also, after SpongeBob and I walked through tornadoes and who knows what else to deliver a pizza to a guy, only for him to scream angrily at SpongeBob for forgetting a drink thathe didn't even orderand slam the door in his face, reducing the poor sponge to tears, even I couldn't stand it. Even if he did order the drink and Mr. Krabs might've hung up, that jerk deserved getting knocked out.Flanderization:I got more uh...grouchy as time went on. Can you blame me? Between those two idiots, the entire town of Bikini Bottom failing to recognize my talents, and having to keep working at that grease trap under that cheapskate crustacean, of course I was going to end up a little nastier! Come to think of it, the whole town got a lot worse too. Huh, well that explains why my paychecks were a lot less than usual. Glad that whole fiasco died off and sanity came back to Bikini Bottom.Oh, and this didn't just apply to my behavior.Someone up therethought it would be funny if I suffered more, even if I didn't deserve it! Luckily, that seems to have died down. And thank goodness, because my poor soul couldn't have taken another swipe like that.Foil: You could say I'm the opposite to that cheery, fun-spirited yellow oaf.Freudian Excuse: I had a miserable childhood and I live with idiot neighbors who harass me every day. You can't really blame me for being such a grouch.Friendship Denial: It makes no difference if we're neighbors, that doesn't mean I'm SpongeBob's friend, and I never will be! Sadly,that yellow imbecilecan't take a hint.The Friends Who Never Hang: She\u2019s more of an acquaintance really, but I do rarely interact with Sandy on my own. It might seem strange since she\u2019s easily the most rational and intelligent person I know (besides myself of course),and one of the least irritating, but on the other hand, she\u2019s WAY into extreme sports,and that nitwit SpongeBob almost got himself killed trying to appease her unquenchable lust for adrenaline. She also likes to play god with science,like the time she got me and SpongeBob biologically fused, I\u2019ll never recover from that nightmarish experience. Hmmm\u2026maybe it is better to keep my distance?Get Out!: Whenever SpongeBob and Patrick happen to wander in my house, I always tell them this. Trust me, I deal with this every day.Gleeful and Grumpy Pairing: I'm the Grumpy to SpongeBob's Gleeful. I'm grumpy, cynical, and hate SpongeBob with a passion. We're probably one of the most iconic examples in the new millennium.Green and Mean: Hey, I'm not that bad of a guy! However, my skin color is somewhere in between the aquamarine and teal range, and my \"meanness\" is more out of irritation rather than villainy.Green-Eyed Monster: So what if I'm envious of SpongeBob and Patrick? It's not like they deserveall the nice stuffthat seems to befall them!Hair-Trigger Temper: I get mad easily, mainly by SpongeBob and Patrick's stupid antics.Hates Being Touched: Unfortunately, my aversion to physical contact doesn't stop SpongeBob cuddling me. Ugh!Hates Everyone Equally: Yes, I really do.It's only personal if you annoy me enough times.\"I Hate\" Song: I hate people so much that I even sang a song about it in one episode! Pretty catchy. You should take a listen to it when you get the chance.Hollywood Atheist: Oh puh-lease! I have no soul. And I don't believe in the supernatural *a hellish background and laugh pop up behind him* Those are just the effects! It's not like it's real or anything!Hypocritical Humor: Almost every barnacle-head in Bikini Bottom likes to get on my case for not having hair. The fact that most of them don\u2019t have hair either flies right over their empty heads.Jerkass: It's really hard to be a nice person when everyone around you is a bumbling idiot.Jerkass Has a Point: It's not hard to understand why I'm not a pleasant fellow. Let me enlighten you.I work at a low-paying minimum wage job, I'm a victim of bad luck, I have two idiot neighbors who bother me endlessly, and Squilliam always rubs his rich lifestyle in my face.You can find my anger and annoyance towards SpongeBob to be understandable considering that he does things like borderline stalking. I even had to report the police on him for that.Unlike SpongeBob, I have a more realistic attitude towards working at the Krusty Krab, since Mr. Krabs is a cheapskate who hardly pays us and treats me and SpongeBob horribly.Oh, and let's not forget how the entire populous of Bikini Bottomirrationally hates mefor some reason. Fine, there may be a few times where I did deserve their hatred, but come on! Sometimes I could just be standing there and they'd act like I was a public safety hazard!Jerkass Realization: I remember that time I pulled a cruel prank on SpongeBob which made him cry. I wasn't proud of that.Jerkass to One: I'm a lot ruder to SpongeBob than I am with others, even Patrick who's just as annoying as him, but only dumber than him. Can you blame me? I not only live next door to him, but we're also co-workers, meaning that I have to deal with him bugging me and tormenting me with his tomfoolery day in and day out.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Sure, I may be cranky, grouchy, short-tempered, and somewhat arrogant, but I can be a compassionate and courteous individual as long as you don't annoy me.Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Sometimes, anyways. Why would I help someone for free? In \"What Ever Happened to SpongeBob?\", I was the only one who was happy of driving SpongeBob to leave Bikini Bottom and even ruin the others' chances of bringing him back home.At least I don't pretend to feel sorry unlike the others. Then I decided to help bring the yellow twit back...only because Mr. Krabs promised to reward me with a fancy egg I needed for my collection. Too bad that egg broke on SpongeBob's head which brought back his memories. Doooh!Well, if it makes you feel better,I did end up deciding tothrow my brain in the trash.Karma Houdini: I got away with laughing at SpongeBob for his kissy mark he got from his grandma, which is still funny to this very day. I even escaped punishment for taking advantage of his kindness and treating him like a slave (complete withhaving him wear a maid outfit).To be fair, this normally doesn't happen with everything else I do.Lack of Empathy: So what if I'm harsh or uncaring?Laser-Guided Karma: In the old seasons, bad things happen to me because I was being a total jerk. Nowadays, I get unfairly punished. Thankfully these days, it only happens if I really have it coming.Lazy Bum: If you see me at the Krusty Krab, I'm probably taking a nap or reading my magazines. There was one time I wanted to pop SpongeBob's Bubble Buddy for making me provide excellent service!Lean and Mean: I am fairly lean thanks to my having a strict diet and I have no respect for people who like to waste their miserable lives indulging in unhealthy junk like Krabby patties. ... What? What do you mean I love Krabby patties?I hate them!Lethal Chef: I'm a terrible fry cook. There was one time I burnt someone's shake. And don't get me started on that Krabby Patty I made from \"The Algae Is Always Greener\".notePlankton:Squidward!Limited Wardrobe: Oh please! The only clothing I have on me is just a shirt!No Matter How Much I Beg: I'm theTrope Namerfor this in \"The Paper\" and I also provide the trope's quote page. For context, I told SpongeBob over and over not to give me the gum wrapper I threw away. Then SpongeBob does all of the impressive things with the paper and I traded all of my possessions just to get it back, only to find out I couldn't do anything SpongeBob did with it!What a bummer.Never My Fault: Okay,so maybe I potentially brought my misery on myself for not being a particularly nice person,but as time went on,things just ended up getting so blown out of proportionthat I reallydidn'tdo anything to deserve it.Or at least not enough.Non-Action Guy: I'm not really athletic like the rest of the characters, but that's okay because I prefer playing my clarinet. Why would I bother getting myself injured doing all of these crazy stunts anyways?No-Respect Guy: I'm perhaps the most rational person in the series and everyone treats me like dirt.Non-Indicative Name: Don't let my name fool you; I'm an octopus, not a squid.Not So Above It All: Okay, I'll admit. There are times I partake in SpongeBob's tomfoolery, and I'll end up taking the games too seriously, ruining them for everyone else.One-Track-Minded Artist: All of my glorious art is focused on me. And only me!Only Sane Man: Knowing that I'mSurrounded by Idiots, especially if those idiots are SpongeBob and Patrick, I'm usually the most mature and rational person in Bikini Bottom.Okay, maybe notall the time.Pet the Dog: I do have my moments of compassion for others. Yes, even SpongeBob. The most famous example is when a customer drove SpongeBob to tears for forgetting his drink, and I stood up for the little guy and shoved the Krusty Krab pizza down that jerk's throat for good measure.Perpetual Frowner: With how I'm treated in Bikini Bottom, it's hard to smile. Am I sure?Does this look unsure to you?*frowns* ... Speaking of which,that moment seems to have gained some kind of following, hasn't it?Red Oni, Blue Oni: Not in a literal sense since I'm more aqua colored while SpongeBob is, well, yellow, but I'm the blue to his red. I am far more serious and logical than that obnoxious and impulsive hooligan.Sadist: I always get my kicks out of the pain, suffering, and embarrassment that happens to SpongeBob and Patrick.One time in \"The Camping Episode\", when the dummies were going out camping, I thought of how satisfying it would be when they get lost in the woods and never came back. It turns out they're camping close to the neighborhood!I even enjoyed humiliating SpongeBob in \"Fools of April\" and \"Little Yellow Book\", though in the former, I felt awful about going overboard with thatprank, but not so much about the reading his diary! Hahaha!I took it to a new level in \"Sportz\" when I got fed up with the two's usual stupidity and invented a sports game where the numbskulls are on the receiving end of injuries, but must go by the ritual \"No pain, no game\", all in an attempt to get them murdered!Sanity Slippage: Unfortunately, there are times when I'm not sane, like that time when I was put in charge of the Krusty Krab, though I decided to take a day off. After going back and forth to the Krusty Krab to check on SpongeBob, I slowly became insane and locked myself in my house so I won't have to go back to check on SpongeBob. Then I finally snapped when I hallucinated SpongeBob in the drain of my bathtub and I ran back to the Krusty Krab to catch up to him while in the nude. That was one moment I'd like to forget.Seven Deadly Sins:Wrath, yes. Maybepride, but you try not to be angry when you'reSurrounded by Idiots(see below).Slobs Versus Snobs: Snobs? You could've put a better word to describe me! Just look at Squilliam! Nonetheless, I fit the latter as I am very sophisticated and dignified unlike SpongeBob and Patrick who are a whole lot stupid and obnoxious.Smart Jerk and Nice Moron: As you can tell, I'm the Smart Jerk to both SpongeBob and Patrick's Nice Morons, as I am far more intelligent and rational than the two hooligans can never be.The Snark Knight: I'm always sarcastic in a messed-up world. It's how I cope, really.Straw Loser: It seems that I was created to be a punching bag just to make SpongeBob and Patrick look like winners.Strong as They Need to Be: I'm not known for being physically strong, but there was one time I lifted up and moved my house.Supreme Chef: I'm far from a good fry cook like SpongeBob (which I really don't care about anyways), but I happen to be great at conventional baking, such as casseroles and souffl\u00e9s.Surrounded by Idiots: Let's face it, everybody in Bikini Bottom is a complete moron. The only people I don't have a problem with are Sandy, Pearl, and Mrs. Puff (who also hates putting up with the yellow doofus).Those Two Guys: I'm sometimes paired with Mr. Krabs, especially in earlier seasons as we're both adults unlikeSpongeBob and Patrick.Throw the Dog a Bone: When I'm not being tormented every single episode, there are a few ones where I actually got a happy ending. \"Band Geeks\" is my prime example. Eat that, Squilliam! SpongeBob even gave meabs when I was a superheroand even when I was unwillingly turned back to normal!Yank the Dog's Chain: I'm a constant victim of this too, unfortunately. Whenever something good actually does happen to me, it usually only lasts for a while right before something random ruins it for me. Sometimes,even those two nimrods don't want me to stop enjoying myself.Trademark Favorite Food: Canned Bread is my favorite food. And I also like smoked sausages, which is not a coincidence they are shaped like my nose.Ultimate Job Security: I may very well be the trope of never being fired regardless of how poor I do my job, which I really don't care at all because I reallyhatemy job at the Krusty Krab. I can't stand the customers who buy such low-quality food, and I'll haveSpongeBobdo all of the work while I nap. To tell you the truth, I actually wanted to get fired, but sadly, that will never happen. As you learned from \"SpongeBob, You're Fired,\" the reason Mr. Krabs fired him instead of me, despite the yellow numbskull being a better employee than I am, is because I have seniority.To be fair, I have tried quitting. Many, many times. But,somehow, I always end up back at penny-pincher central.The Unapologetic: When I made SpongeBob cry by pulling that horrible prank on him, I felt bad, but I had a hard time apologizing to him. (And thanks to my conscience, I did.) Then I also remember making him cry by reading his work diary, and then hisrealdiary! It was such fun!I didn't even care anymore that the whole town was assaulting me for it.Ungrateful Bastard: It didn't matter if SpongeBob and Patrick did something to make up for ruining my day, I still lash out at them. Sometimes, I'm wrong for this, but in other cases, the nice things they've done for me will ruin my day even further.Throughout \"Sponge-Cano\", I (rightfully) complained about how I'm not grateful for anything, especially being SpongeBob's neighbor, and that I am the most miserable person in Bikini Bottom (which is true, by the way, if you know how much pain I've been through). At the end of the episode, SpongeBob saved me from falling down the volcano, but I was lying to him about being grateful for his help and only said that just so he can save me.Okay, maybe I only said that I was lying because I was upset about almost getting killed for nothing, losing my house so it could plug up the volcano, and having no choice but to sleep under his roof, but it's not like I'd really thank him.Unstoppable Rage: There are times I get mad whenever SpongeBob and Patrick ruin my day, but there are even times when Ireallylose it when I just couldn't take any more of their antics. Trust me, it's not a pretty sight for them.Vague Age: I'm usually seen as older than SpongeBob due to my maturity, but depending on the episode, I'm either the same age as him or around the middle ages due to my grouchy neighbor status. How unrealistic.Vitriolic Best Buds: Oh puh-leeze, I'm not friends with that obnoxious yellow oaf!Okay, maybe there are times when I sorta like the little weirdo, but he can't know that. At least not if he doesn't already.(SpongeBob: Aw, Squidward! That was touching! I'm so glad we're friends!) What are you doing here, SpongeBob? Go back to your page! You know they won't let you bother me as much here!Whew, good thing that was one of the easier times I've told him. I think I'm gonna like this place just fine. You might as well leave too unless you have any other tropes to add.I heard there are things here that are more harmful to you than me...Alternative Title(s):Sponge Bob Square Pants Squidward Tentacles"}
{"text": "I'm a maaaaaaagical princess from another dimension! But you knew that already, didn't 'ya?(If you want to channel the magic of the butterfly princess, try to imagine the page being read byEden Sher;Kana Uedaif you're a Japanese reader; or Agustina Cirlunik if you're a Spanish reader from Latin America.)*A portal in the fabric of reality rips open in front of you. Shortly afterward, a blonde teenage girl holding a bright, glowing wand and a pair of scissors jumps through the portal as it closes*Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii! My name is Star Butterfly! Sorry about jumping out at you. It's a long story. I was using my dimensional scissors that my friend Ponyhead gave to me. I wassupposedto be picking up nachos for my buddy Marco! But, I guess I messed up a bit. Now I'm here, in this weird...place with all these words? And what's that text at the top saying Self Demonstrating? The heck is going in here?Oh, wait, I'm sorry, where are my manners! You're probably confused, aren't you? Apologies. Anyways, like I said, my name is Star Butterfly! I'm the princess of Mewni, a far off kingdom from another dimension! I was supposed to take the family wand up and become the new queen, but...uh...well, I don't like to dwell on it. So my parents sent me to this weird place called Earth, where people who look just like me spend their time NOT doing magical spells and rather go to this place called School and do this weird thing called Math. Weird huh? I don't get it! Where are the warnicorns!?But, whatever. Once I was enlisted as a thing called a \"Foreign Exchange Student\", I moved in with my pal Marco. Marco...is awesome. He's bestest bestest best friend in the world! Or...at least on Earth. My other friend Ponyhead is more my best friend in Mewni. But anyways, Marco is awesome, like I said! He makes nachos, he knowskah-rah-tah(that's how you say it right? And why are those words blue?) and he has feelings for thisotherawesome friend of mine, Jackie Lynn Thomas! I was able to help him get a date or two with her and now their officially boyfriend and girlfriend! BF and GF! But...I dunno, I do feel like Marco could do better.(There it is again! Weird.)Oh, but whatever. Sadly, not everything is great. Recently I kinda had to go back to Mewni with my mom because Toffee was out to get me. ...Oh wait, I never talked about Toffee, did I? Oh my gosh, how could I forget Toffee! Yeah, so, basically I like to fight monsters as a hobby. One of these monsters is this weird ugly bird thing called Ludo. He kinda sounds like my dad if my dad were evil, short and wore rags. We had to team up once to defeat Toffee, who is this evil lizard guy who apparently sounds likean infamous serial killer.I don't hear it. Anyway, he pretended to work for Ludo before turning the tables on him and taking over. He kidnapped Marco andmade me choose between letting him die and destroying my wand.I chose the latter. We got rid of him... or so I thought. Now he's apparently possessing Ludo's body and preparing to come looking for me. Mewni's about to go to war and I need to be there...But, let's not focus on that right now!I think I know how to get out of here. So, I took a look around while I was explaining all that. It says that if I list these things called \"troop-ees\" about myself, then I might be able to get out of here. Well, okay then. I'm sure I could do that!I mean, anything to get out of here.(Okay seriously, what is this blue text about?}And don't worry about me when I get back. Things might look bad but they always work out in the end. Especially when I'm involved! I'm Star Butterfly! I always win! Right?Right?Trope-tastic TEXT DISPLAY!!!Action Girl: Oh, totally! Even though I kinda find magic to be a bit hard, I've been kicking monster butt for a long time!Alien Catnip: I! Love! Sugar! I put it on everything, even burritos. For some odd reason Marco doesn't like that.Ambiguously Bi: StarFan13 has a crush on me. So what? It's cute! ...Hey, what does \"ambiguous\" mean anyhow?Attack! Attack! Attack!: Why are so many people always about having to plan out their attacks and stuff? If you see a threat or a monster, just kick their butt!Broken Pedestal: Mina Loveberry used to be my hero! ...But, Marco was right, she is kind of cray-cray.Brought Down to Badass: I lose my wandfartoo many times than I would like to confess. Fortunately, I think I'm still pretty good at whooping butts!Brought Down to Normal:I soon realized that magic has brought nothing but misery to both Mewmans and monsters alike. So, me and my family dipped down and made it gone. Forever.Character Tic: *chewing on wand* Huh?Comically Invincible Hero: Like I said, I'm not too great with my wand. But even without it, I tend to win most fights that I come across, whether it be with magic or hand-to-hand! What can I say? I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat!Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: A lot of people think I'm just a normal everyday girl. And I am! You know, unless you ask for a knuckle sandwich.Determinator: If I have a goal, I aim for it! I once spent up all night trying to find a spell to fix Marco's weird tentacle monster arm! ...It Makes Sense in Context.Dude Magnet: Used to date this one demon called Tom. Now I'm hanging out with Marco! It's great to have so many friends.Easily Impressed: Whoa! What's that thing over there!? Random Trope? Indexes? Forums!? Holy cow, this place has everything! ...Uh, what are they exactly?Even the Girls Want Her: StarFan13 is the second best me I know!Everything's Better with Rainbows: Well, yeah! And sunshine! And puppies! And bunnies and kittens and ponies and sugaritos and nachos and chinese food and-Everything's Better with Sparkles: I love glittery things! But not as much as I love sparkly things!Expy: I've been compared toa certain horned, green-haired princess from another world.Fish out of Water: Eh he he he he he. Uh, when I first came to Earth, things were a little hard to understand. I had no idea what the places history is, what customs they have, what foods the humans enjoy. Thankfully, my buddy Marco helped me with that.Golden Super Mode:So this is what dipping down feels like. Now I know howthose other guys do it.Green-Eyed Monster: What are you talking about!? It's perfectly fine that Marco is dating Jackie! But...really? Why Jackie? I mean, she's awesome and all, but Marco could do SO much better! Like, seriously, just because they've been together since kindergarten doesn't mean that he should just startdatingher. It's just so- ...*sigh* Nevermind. Sorry, I got carried away there.Jackie better be good to you while I'm gone, Marco.Interspecies Romance: Well, I used to date Tom like I said.If it weren't for Toffee coming back and, well...Jackie... Maybe Marco and I could've had something... Much earlier than we did at least.Love Confession:I told Marco that I loved him right in front of everyone. I couldn't just leave to go fight a war against Toffee without telling him how I felt!Magical Girl: Uh, duh!Raised by Dudes: Kinda. I got most of my combat skills from the Mewni royal guards.Second Love:Marco, definitely. Or at least, it might have been if I could have just told him before Jackie and everything else happened.Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: What do you mean nemesis? Me and Brittany are great friends! You know, she gave me a lollipop once! I mean, it was on the floor, already eaten and she said \"why don't you suck on this\", but it's the thought that counts!Stepford Smiler: Um, nope! I'm perfectly fine! My smiles are always bright and genuine! Nothing fazes this girl! I can handle anything!Marco... Why did I just leave you behind? I need you...The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Ooh,did I ever tell you about this one time I entered a sand-castle contest?! So I was trying to make the perfect sand-castle but then I kept messing it up, and thenthis one kidgot a little peeved at me for ruininghissand castle so I tried to make things better by cheering him up with a good ol' Cupcake Blast! I think it worked. Then things got a little crazy,I might have dipped down and vaporized him and everything around me... but on the plus side, I won! Too bad about the other guy though. Would've been sooo cool if we were friends. Those people running Death Battle are nothing but sadistic bullies.Winged Humanoid: My mewberty wings are growing strong!Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Ireallydon't like it at St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses. They take you and strip you of any individuality you have! Urrgh! Remember, \"It's not criminal to be an individual!\"*Another portal rips open*Oh hey, whaddaya know? It worked! Well, I gotta go. This was sooo much fun! Let's do this again sometime! See ya again soon! Byeeeeeee!!!"}
{"text": "Leader of The Decepticons!(For best effect, read in the voice of Chris Latta, Doug Parker, Michael Dobson, Charlie Adler, Tom Kenny, Steve Blum, Scott Whyte or Billy Bob Thompson)MEGATRON HAS FALLEN!I, STARSCREAM, AM NOW THE HEAD OF TV TROPES!Yes, foolish fleshings, feast your eyes on the true leader of all, ME!...I said, I AM NOW YOUR LEADER!...I see you are failing to grasp your current predicament. Very well, then perhaps I shall regale you with tales of my prominence. I. Am. Starscream, true leader of the Decepticon Army and greatest commander of the Seekers known to all! My origins are rather...hmmmm. Come to think of it,there are quite a few options, aren't there?Well, the most simple of them begins some time ago, on your wretched world in the year 1984. It would seem that there were those who had somehow heard of our exploits from Cybertron, and elected to sell small effigies of our likenesses to you fleshings. They simply chose to do so by exporting small figurines from elsewhere, then renaming them to fit the settings and names of our war. For some reason, theymisconstrued my name as \"Ulchtar!\"Me! Fortunately, they realized the error of their ways and properly corrected their mistake. From that point forward, you humans worshiped the very ground on which I stood. Somehow or another, you deemed me the greatest of the Decepticons, in no small part thanks to thosebroadcasted recordings of our adventures. Well,a version of them anyway. Nevertheless, you wished for me, Starscream, to be leader of the Decepticons, as you bore witness to my multiple attempts toseize commandfrom that incompetent wretch! Alas, they never seemed to succeed. Perhaps I underestimated his strength, or perhaps that accursed Optimus Prime dared to intervene. But I still continued to function. Well,for a time. YetI managed to cheat death itself, and to this day continue to plot my schemes of conquering the universe and ending Megatron's reign once and for all!I would also wish to note that it was I and I alone who managed to earn himself the rightful place of being the first Cybertronian to earn himself a page on this website. If anyone else does so, it will be automatically inferior to my own, for who could compare to my greatness? And yes, I am well aware thatterrorist leader who sounds conveniently like megot his own page first, but I'm willing to forgive the transgressions of one who clearly recognizes my genius. However, I will take great pleasure in exacting my revenge onthat insufferable Vulcan half-breedwhohumiliated me! And woe befall on thatsnarky paranormal investigatorif he ever dares toshow his face!Furthermore, shouldthat treacherous androidand thatinsolent teenagerwho both made melook foolishdare to show themselves, I will see to it they perish before THE GREAT AND POWERFUL STARSCREAM!!! And don't think I've forgotten about you,pretender! And you best leave your clumsy hands off my page, youaccursed Autobot! And it seems now thatmy former hostis now on here.Great...Now, it would be wise to read the entirety of this page and learn of my greatness.Your lives may very well depend on it.Such tendencies of mine include:Adaptational Badass:Adaptational!?I amalwaysthe greatest of Decepticons! It matters not if I happen to exist incrude drawings,heavily detailed computing,a mix of the two, or in thosecomputergamesas no one, not even Megatron himself, could compare to my greatness!Adaptational Heroism: Ugh. The version of me fromthe first of thatTransformers anime trilogy. That me is a cross between my usual self andthe turncoat Predacon, so in there I'mmean on the outside, but a kind bot at heart.BLEH! I don't care ifthatmade me the show's most popular character! Istillfind it disgusting!The depiction of me in thecomic universeofIDW Publishingisself serving as everbut I do find myself allying with the heroes far more often against bigger threatsand evengave my lifeto ensure Unicron's destruction.Adaptational Villainy: On the other hand, there's thatversion of me who tried to destroy the universe, almost making Megatron look cuddly by comparison. I'm proudly evil, butI draw the line at destroying Cybertron(sans whenpriorityis in need), out ofspite, no less!Agent Peacock: It would seem I will have to remind you of this constantly, so here's where I begin. I am undoubtedly, shall we say, a showoff, but do not assume I can't and will end you. ForI. Am. Starscream.Back from the Dead: Strangely enough, this seems to be a habit for me. Perhaps Primus is either recognizing of my brilliance, or is trying to play a cruel trick of fate. Either way,STARSCREAM LIVES FOR ETERNITY!Thathuman drivel you fleshlings seem to obsess oversaw me return from being blasted into ashes after Unicron brought back Megatr\u2014er, Galvatron. Not even he could end me! (For the record, how was I supposed to know there'd be a giant robotic planet out in space resurrecting my fallen leader!? I thought this would be easier than shooting cyberducks in a barrel!) On that note, Cyclonus and Scourge did make for excellent hosts... that buffoonWaspinatorserved his purpose for a time, but there was something rather unusual about his cerebral cortex. Quite resilient for a weakling if I might add. Oh, and because I amsomehow obligatedto appease the humans who worship me, yes, apparently the hairy namesake of that wretched Optimus explained my spark was indestructible.Then you fleshings had to go andallow me to get humiliatedby thoseparanormal investigating humans! I was sohumiliated.Strangely, my infamous exploits in thatunusual rodent'sstorieshad me brought back after I slaughtered nearly everyone. Worst yet, Megatron made me his mindless slave! Me!It seems this happened to mea few timesin that one tale.Oh, the humiliation doesn't end.That one version of medied more times than I care to count. Indestructible, my servos! AND WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKETHAT YELLOW CREATURE EVERYONE IS OBSESSED OVER!Bad Boss: WHAT?!?! I AM NOT! I just refuse to tolerate insubordination, that's all! I didn't scheme my way to becoming Decepticon leader for nothing! I expect my underlings to do as I command, and if they don't, I WILL USE THEIR LIFELESS SHELLS AS MY THRONE! *ahem* If there is one thing Megatron and I actually agree on, it's that you cannot lead the Decepticons effectively through kindness and compassion. A successful Decepticon leader teaches his minions respect through fear, out of concern for the consequences of disobedience.Be Careful What You Wish For:I actually succeeded in becoming the ruler of Cybertron once. It wasn't nearly as fun I was liked. I only thought about the power of the position,not the work I'd have once I got it.Berserk Button: Do. Not. Threaten. My. Position! EVER! Disagree with whether or not I can successfully lead the Decepticons all you like, but insinuate that I am even incapable of commanding the Seekers? YOU WILL BE TORN LIMB FROM LIMB!It seems one of myalternate selveshad this issue when that annoyingly logical Shockwave came by and started acting like he ran theNemesis. As if that pathetic suck-up wasn't bad enough, but to force my counterpart to share command duties? I would have scrapped him myself if this Megatron wasn't so...frightening.Big Bad Wannabe: I amnota mere \"wannabe\", you ignorant waste of atoms! I am the rightful heir to the throne of the Decepticons! ...Okay, I admit, my ambitions are a little stronger than some other Decepticons, but at least I'm not trying to hide them!Boss's Unfavorite Employee: Somehow, Megatron always wants to scrap me and very few others. Soundwave and Shockwave? He wouldn't dare touch them. The other troops? Only if they cross him. But every single time I so much as enter the room, I'm immediately in his crosshairs.Bullying a Dragon: There are times when I find my tendencies of betrayal don't work out so well. Megatron may be intellectually inferior to yours truly, but physically? That's another tale I care not to discuss.Butt-Monkey: Firstly, I am not an inferior primate, nor do I resemble anything closely related to a tailpipe! I'm just...resilient! Yes, resilient!Megatron may harm me as often as he wish, but I am\u2014 (gets punched by Megatron) \u2014just going to lie here and beg for mercy for a while...! Oh great now the fleshbags have added in their\"karma\"just to rub it in!Came Back Wrong: Why does my resurrection as a mindless servant at Megatron's leisure happen so frequently? I amnothis subservient stooge!Can't Kill You, Still Need You: This is one reason Megatron hasn't scrapped me, besides the obvious fact that I can't actuallybescrapped. While I seek nothing more than to become the Decepticon leader myself, I am often an effective lieutenant when I'm forced to toe the line. Indeed, if that bootlicking Soundwave isn't the one to wield Megatron in his laser rifle mode during a battle, it's usually me!Card-Carrying Villain: And quite proudly! I would never stoop so low as to be \"good\", especially where those pathetic Autobot scum are concerned. Evil is in my nature!Cassandra Truth: Do you know how many times I've told Megatron there's a far more efficient strategy to destroying the Autobots, only to be brushed off? I have been forced to stop keeping count.Character Tic: Evidently, the effigies you make of me tend to look rather different from time to time. I mean,how many of them have you made?Regardless, it seems one version fromthose brilliant mindsalways changed physical appearances a great number of times.Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: No matter who stands in my way, betrayal is inevitable. I will not allow anyone, especially Megatron, to stand in my way of ruling!Co-Dragons: In spite of my more...rebellious tendencies, I hold authority in the Decepticon ranks second only to Megatron (for now). That being said, those lecherous loyalists Soundwave and Shockwave still hold equal standing. I will have to deal with that once Megatron is destroyed.Complete Monster: Oh yes. There are a few versions of me out there who are so despicable, even I am appalled by their actions. Such asthat version of me who is willing to blow up the universe.Composite Character: The dub of theUnicron Trilogydoes this to me and everyone else with the dub ofTransformers: Cybertron, since the original version had no connection to the previous two series. As a result of the two unrelated continuities being connected, two different versions of me were combined into one character.Cool Plane: Truly you think so little of me to not recognize this as part of my motif?Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Though you may think of me as a coward (and to those who do,I will dispose of you later), I am a brilliant scientist with plenty of combat and strategical experience. If anything was to go wrong, I will find a way to scheme my way out of it. Rememberthe Combaticons? I made them just because Megatron had the nerve to kick me out! Well who was laughing then, Megatron? ME!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...wait, didn't the Stunticons foil that scheme? SCRAP!Deadpan Snarker: I'm not shy to snidely remark on how poor we are performing in this war. It's just that Megatron fails to recognize my criticisms. And they say I'm the one with the ego problem.Decomposite Character: When thatyellow little annoyancemy creators won't stop fawning overgot his own movie, they kept me involved. Yet, for reasons I couldn't understand, they took that idiot Blitzwing and made him look like me.LIKE ME!WHY? HE IS INFERIOR TO ME! I AM THE ULTIMATE POWER! I...wait,he died?Heh. Serves him right.The Determinator: Destroy or beat me all you wish. I won't stop until I, Starscream, claim leadership ofTHE DECEPTICONS!Did You Just Scam Cthulhu?: In testament to my skills as rightful Decepticon leader, I managed to outwit that fool Unicron himself! I promised him to deliver a new body, but when I was unable to move thanks to those accursed Autobots, I convinced the giant to grant me life once again. Then I left him to perish! Alas, my time amongst the living may have been short lived thanks to Galvatron, but even he couldn't boast to fooling such a horror.Dirty Coward: I like to stay quite polished, thank you very much! However, I am least well aware enough to leave once myglorious leader's brilliant planfalters. Is it any wonder this war isn't over?The Dragon:Dragon.Hmmmmm. Idolike the sound of that. But this will soon be inaccurate, for once Megatron is destroyed, I WILL RULE THE DECEPTICONS!Demonic Possession: If I perish, there isn't any bot out there that I won't take over. Hmmmmm. Perhaps Megatron may make a suitable host yet...Even Evil Has Standards: I will gladly betray Megatron or any other petulant peons to get what I deserve, but if Cybertron itself is at death's door, I will work to save it regardless.Depending on how I feel.Evil Genius: More so than thatpathetic brown-noserSoundwave, if I might add.Evil Is Not a Toy: I wouldn't describe the power of the Underbase as evil (well, until I got ahold of it). It's more of what you'd call a \"tool\". That being said, my destruction at its hands was probably a sign I shouldn't have absorbed it all. Well,aside from me killing more Autobots and Decepticons than Megatron ever did.Evil Sounds Deep:Hardly. My audio processors are rather loud to ensure all know who rules them. Thoughafewversionsof myself do sound rather sinister.Expy: Evidently, some of you creatures think I happen to bear a strong resemblance to thatbaffling trickster you can't seem to stop fawning over. He is nowhere near my level! I am far more brilliant (and, dare I say, handsome) than he is!Fatal Flaw: I am not \"flawed\" in any way! I ammerely forced to put up with the incompetence of others who fail to recognize my brilliance and skills as leader of the Decepticons!It'snot my faultthey refuse to see Megatron for the inferior leader he truly is!Faustian Rebellion: Few can say they've outsmarted Unicron and live to tell the tale. I am one of those few. Give me the body, and I'll leave you to perish!Faux Affably Evil: Underestimate me at your own peril. I may know when toadmit defeat, but I've earned the right to rule. Ask the multiple Autobots and Decepticons who fell victim to the power of the Underbase.Fountain of Expies: As I am an iconic part of the Transformers franchise, I have managed to inspire the creation of similar characters who seek to lead the Decepticons.Scorponok's anime incarnationhas all of my ambitions and the smarts to carry them out, but he hasnone of my ethics. Hedestroyed Cybertronjust to ensure his leadership over the Decepticons, even I wouldn't go that farusually. His plan worked for a while until Galvatron somehow returned from the blast that destroyed the planet. Scorponok would become the leader again via dumb luck when the Autobots managed to kill Galvatron.Transformers Victoryhas two Decepticons in this role,Leozackand his subordinate Hellbat. Leozack has my ambition to overthrow his leader Deathsaurus, and I hardly blame him as Deathsaurustends to sit around doing nothing all dayand hispunishments for failure are worse than Megatron's punishments for disobedience. Sadly, even though Leozack kept his ambitions a secret, Deathsaurus still found out and frightened Leozack into obedience. Hellbat resembles me more in many ways, except instead of leading the Decepticons, he just wants to overthrow Leozack as Deathsaurus' second in command. I would mock his lack of ambition, but given how much Hellbat screws up with even that meager goal, he would probably dig his own grave trying to overthrow Deathsaurus.Almost all of thePredaconsbetrayed Megatron at some point, but that flier Terrorsaur is explicitly based on me. He has a similar color scheme, flying alt mode, and screechy voice, thoughhe is far too overconfident. He has the sense to try to recruit allies to overthrow Megatron, but anytime he does, he ends up getting used and betrayed, loser. Eventually, Terrorsaur realizes he has no chance of leading the Predacons and that psychotic spider Tarantulas gradually becomes the primary treacherous minion so Terrorsaur got killed at the start of the show's second season.That anime Predacon who bears my namesadly lacks my ambition and just seeks to overthrow Megastorm as Galvatron's second in command. Instead it is Megastorm, anExpyof Megatron, who seeks to overthrow Galvatron.As thatone series about chasing Miniconshas amore heroic version of me, the show's version of Thrust resembles me more than its version of me does. He is acowardlysycophantwho will do anything to get in the good graces of the boss. Oddly, he isn't interested in overthrowing Megatron until Sideways convinces him to work for Unicron. That fool! Thrust actually believes Unicron sees him as someone of value, and thedestroyercrushed him to death by accident and did not even realize it. This is why when I cut a deal with Unicron, I backstabbed him!Freudian Excuse: There is this one setof taleswhere I apparently have a reason for being so evil (what, wanting to kill Megatron after all the years of abuse I took isn't enough?) It seems my counterpart here wascold constructed, and wasunableto assume theAnimesquebody that looked rather snazzy, if I do say so myself.\u25caThe Friend Nobody Likes: I admit, there are few amongst the Decepticons who recognize me as a friend. Fine, none of them! But I have no time for friendships! I must focus on winning the war and destroying the Autobots the only way I know how; as leader!Genius Bruiser: Lest we forget that I once began my illustrious career as a bot of science? It is such knowledge that I have brought my foes to their doom.Ditzy Genius: HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE MY REASONING IS LESS THAN PERFECT! I AM STARSCREAM! I... fine. There were times when I let my ambitions get the better of me. But how can one think properly when you're constantly being tormented by Megatron?Hated by All: For some reason, no Decepticon likes me or would ever acknowledge me as a leader. These imbeciles believe that Megatron is much more effective than me. And to make matters worse, when I finally became a leader of the Decepticons, Megatron came back as Galvatron and killed me! And who mourned my passing and cursed Galvatron's name for murdering their beloved leader? NO ONE!!! But one day, I'llmakethese fools appreciate me, and soon the world will see WHO is the REAL leader of the Decepticons!Hero Killer: In spite of what that sycophantic Soundwave thinks, I have a far better track record of destroying our enemies. Lest we forget that it was I who used thepower of the Underbaseto wipe out nearly all of the Decepticon and Autobot forces who stood in my way? Or myrather sinister counterparteliminated Cliffjumper outright when Megatron couldn't even kill a single Autobot? Never underestimate me. EVER.Inferiority Superiority Complex: For a time, those humans onthat insignificant little islandexplored the idea of me doubting my own capabilities after I returned from the dead. Evidently, slaughtering a great deal of your allies and enemies isn't enough to satisfy one's doubts. That is, until you kill more of them...Informed Attribute: Nothing is ever informed about me! I am exactly as you see before you! Though thewriters of a certain seriesnever bothered to show me trying to replace Megatron as leader, aside from a few snide remarks. Neither did that sillylive-action film series with the fleshlings and explosions. Evidently, they couldn't be bothered to recognize thebrillianceof my constant desire to rule!In-Series Nickname: Refer to me as \"Screamer\" one more time...It's All About Me: Well of course it's all about me! I actually intend to win this war! Not spend my time worshiping that foolish Megatron! Only I can rule and lead us to victory!I Was Beaten By A Fembot And A Pony:LIES!Slanderous lies! Besides,that jaundiced encounter with those technicolored, pastel, equine mammalswas never canon! Wait, there's a sequel in progress?FINALLY!I WILL HAVE MY RETRIBUTION ON THESE WRETCHED, QUADRUPEDAL, TECHNICOLORED CREATURES! Wait, we're forced to work together with both them and the Autobots?! SCRAAAAAAAAAAAP!noteMegatron:I expect nothing less from you, Starscream.Yesss.Jerkass: Okay, I admit, I have little room in my programming for kindness. You expect me toact as if I'm responsible for everyone's well being and treat Megatron with kindness and respect?Wait,seriously?!More to the point, one thing Megatron and I actually agree on is that you can't command respect from the Decepticons by beingniceto them. They'll simply consider you a weak pushover if they don't simply scrap you. If you want them to respect you and follow your command in battle, they have tofearyou and your wrath.Jerkass Has a Point: As unpleasant as I may be to some, my advice is often sound. There wasmany such instancesI warned Megatron about how foolhardy his plan was. But did he ever listen to me?Take a wild guess. And the Autobots would come charging in and halt our schemes. Is it little wonder I wish to see him deposed?Joker Immunity: No matter what sort of trouble I cause for the Autobots or Megatron, nothing can kill me.I will return from the dead,take control of great power,seek my vengeance,or bring the universe to its knees!Death or defeat is merely an inconvenience.Not even Primus himself could stop me from taking it all!Karma Houdini: Even though my tendencies led Megatron to beat me within an inch of my life, I always managed to avoid being destroyed. Guess Megatron needed me more than he cares to admit! Well,that is until I pushed my luck too far.And that one time I should have made sure Megatron stayed dead.And that one time I betrayed Megatron and tried to conquer the Klingon Empire. Okay, so maybe my efforts aren't as successful as I'd hoped.Large Ham: Again, I do not bear even the slightest of resemblance to your edibles! I simply pronounce myself as loudly as I must, that's all!Lightning Bruiser: Few can doubt my mastery of the air. As Commander of the Seekers, I possess a speed befitting of my standing, and can battle against even the mightiest of foes.Meaningful Name: Apparently the flesh creature who named me thought I wouldbe yelling into space for some reason. For the record,I DO NOT YELL ALL THE TIME!noteAlso, some of my more devoted fans have said that my creator felt the name \"Ulchtar\" didn't make sense. I will give him credit; Starscream is more memorable. Who would recallThe Ulchtar?It just sounds so unnerving to even say.Multiple-Choice Past: Was I a former Autobot before I joined the Decepticons, or was I always a Decepticon? Was I part of the Decepticons from the beginning or did I join in the middle of the war? It doesn't matter where I came from, none of it changes who I am.Not-So-Harmless Villain: To those who underestimate me, I warn you of this: in spite of my demeanor andnatural tendencies, I can, and will, end you if I so choose. Lest we forget,I laid waste to Autobot City.I killed scores of Autobots and Decepticons with limitless power.I brought Cybertron's greatest power into my possession, andI nearly brought all of reality to its end. Never assume me for a fool, for it will be the last thing you will ever do.One-Hit Kill: My Null Ray may look simplistic, but the weaklings amongst the Autobots will instantly shut down upon impact. A shame I can't get this to work on Megatron or Prime. Oh, all the trouble it would have saved me.Our Ghosts Are Different: For lack of a better term, yes, I cannot perish (well,most versions of me anyway). My spark cannot be destroyed, allowing me to reign supreme over\u2014what is that? Please tell me it isn't...oh no, not them!Out-of-Character Moment: There was one such time that I was forced to hold back when that bumbling triple changer Astrotrain decided topose as a godin front of those unsuspecting fools on Titan. Then again, that idiot was acting a little too much like Megatron. Perhaps it was wise not to try and go after him. For all I know, that could have been Megatron in disguise!Paint It Black: If I am \"borrowing\" unsuspecting individuals whenever I end up as a specter, I usually take the time to make a few improvements to better match my iconic appearance.Palette Swap: My body type seems to be rather popular amongst you humans. I've noticed that my compatriots Thundercracker and Skywarp often are created alongside your tributes to my genius whenever possible. And those bumbling Coneheads for some reason. And the Rainmakers? You really seem to enjoy those. Wait, who are those Seekers? Are you trying to replace me?!Person of Mass Destruction: After absorbing the Underbase, I proceeded to eliminate all who stood in my way. Autobots and Decepticons alike fell to my power (not even Megatron can boast of such claims). Alas, it destroyed me from within.For a time that is.Pet the Dog: Yes, there are times when even I dare to show weakness and act with compassion (See Megatron! At least I can be bothered to show a little decency!). The humans who made stories in thisone part of your planettold how I actually was touched by this one holiday called \"Christmas\". To be honest, it actually brought me peace for once on that journey, in spite of the fact that I found myself at my lowest point. Perhaps there ismore to this Christmas than I had once thought...Put on a Bus: Those accursed fleshings dared to leave me out of their stories! Me! The sole reason why all even bother to pay attention to this war in the first place!They even forced me to remain in prison!Or left me out altogether!Or killed me!Fortunately, there are those that recognize how boring things would get if I wasn't around.Rage Against the Mentor: Well, why wouldn't I? All Megatron ever does is disrespect me, treat me like scrap, and berate and belittle me whenever I commit the slightest of failures! In spite of all I have done for the cause, he refuses to think of me as an equal! He will pay...Really 700 Years Old: Unlike you organics who age and die, Cybertronians can survive indefinitely as long as we have a supply of Energon. How old I am, like other major characters in the franchise, depends on the incarnation. I might be mere thousands of years old in your Earth years, ormillions.Red Ones Go Faster: What can I say? I am the master of the skies. Naturally, red looks good on me anyway.Sissy Villain:...Excuse me!?My insistence on being rightfully respected by the Decepticon army doesnotmake me look \"bitchy\" in any sort of way, nor does my less... grandiose body compared to Megatron! Although not helping matters isthat one realitywhere my body was slender andhigh-heeled, of all features.Andthat other onewhere a clone of mejust happened to be female. And yes, admittedly, out of all Earth fauna I feelcatsare the least intolerable. But I assure you, making fun of me is still a fool's errand if you actually value your worthless lives!Smug Snake: Megatron accuses me of this far too often. I know for a fact that I can do a far better job at winning the war than he can, but he always insists that I only seek the position for the power and never the responsibility. What is power then if not to have it?The Starscream:It pleases me that you humans were wise enough to name one of your phenomenon after yours truly.Though it does insult me they bear little resemblance to me. You might find that changing once I have this world in my grip.Terrible Trio: Rarely will you find me without my loyal compatriots Skywarp and Thundercracker. In fact, you insist upon it!They Killed Kenny Again: FOOLS! Whoever continues to insinuate that I will always be killed no matter what will be TERMINATED! I donotalways perish, and even if I do, you likely won't have seen the last of me!The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Perhaps to be expected of me, buta pair of humans pitted me against...a pony!BWAHAHAH!!Wait? I LOST!? Grr, how DARE you insinuate I would be defeated by a tiny winged equine!By my own weapons no less!Villain with Good Publicity: In my glorious leadership of Cybertron, I held this status. Was the public well aware I was Megatron's former right hand? Absolutely. But they still loved me. What were they going to do? Let Optimus Prime rule it? They couldn't trust that accursed Autobot if their lives depended on it.We Used to Be Friends:Someversionsof me were once compatriots with a fellow scientist named Jetfire (though it baffles me why some of you fleshlings call him Skyfire; it's not like youdon't have a vast base of information at your disposal). Sadly, we found ourselves on opposite sides of the war. Perhaps it's one of the few things I truly regret allowing to end. For all this war has caused, and for all we have lost,he truly was one of the few in my lifetime I could actually call a friend.There. And now that you have been enlightened on the topic of my brilliance, I shall henceforth ascend to leadership of the Decepticons, this siteandyour dunghill of a planet, and you will henceforthspend EVERY WAKING MOMENT of your short and miserable lifespansworshiping none other than I, the grand andmercifulStarscream, OR ELSE\u2014WHAT!? WHO DISRUPTS MY CORONATION!?(\"Coronation\", Starscream? This is bad comedy.)MEGATRON!? Scrap, not again...!"}
{"text": "I live with my mommy, daddy, our doggies Spike and Spiffy, and my brother Dil. My friends are Phil and Lil from next door, Susie, my cousin Angelica, and by bestest friend Chuckie and his sister Kimi.I like playing games with my friends and going on adventures. I'm only a year old and there's so much to explore, and I'm the bravliest of my group so I often lead the others on adventures. I'm also quite smart, but I'm not always right.Oh yeah big me is coming over here soon.Preteen!Tommy: And here I am!Wow that was fast!Tropes about meBadass Adorable: Pretty much. I am only one year old, but I am very courageous.Baby Talk: I don't always gets words right. I am just a baby.Big Brother Instinct: I care a lot about Dil, my little brother. I wasn't happy with Phil and Lil when they tried to take him back to the hopsicle and got us losted in the forest, and if someone says bad things about Dil, I tell them about the neat suff he can do. Whenever I play a game with my friends, I want to make sure Dil can play, too.Clear Their Name: Whenever Spike gets blamed for something bad that he didn't do, it's up to me to prove who did it, but it's kinda hard for me since I can't talk to the growed-ups.Determinator: If I wants to do something, you bet I'm gonna do it... Because A baby's gotta do, what a baby's gotta do!Does Not Like Shoes: Well, I don't mind shoes, I just don't wear them. But the best of my friends wear shoes.The Diaper Change: Sometimes I need my diapie changed, like all babies.Feud Episode: One time, Me and Chuckie stopped being friends after a little incident with a big green box. Another time, we had another fight, Rocks Vs. Dandelions. I finded a girl named Samantha to play with instead of him. Sorry, Chuckie, you will always be my bestest friend.Friend to All Living Things: I love all aminals!Heroes Love Dogs: Well, I certainly love doggies and Chuckie says I'm a hero. Not sure if all heroes likes doggies, though.The Leader: I guess I am kinda the leader of my friends.Limited Wardrobe: I always wears this blue shirt.One-Episode Fear: Once when my toy soldier got sucked down the bathtub drain, I was worried I would too after Angelica told me that many other things could also go down the drain. My fear went away when I found out I was way too big to fit down the drain.Naked People Are Funny: Once when I saw how happy Spike was being nakie, I decided to take off my clothes and convince my friends to do the same. My daddy and Chuckie weren't very happy about that. In the end, I decided that wearing clothes was much better than being nakie.Out-of-Character Moment: One time, I falled off the jungle gym and became a scaredey cat. That went away when I saw my friends were in trouble and came to rescue them.Sibling Rivalry: Sometimes, I gets mad at my baby brother Dil but I always make it up to him.Trouser Space: I don't gots any pockets, so I keep my screwdriver and whatever else I need inside my diapie.Tropes about big meThe Ace: Played straight, though subverted in \"Dude, Where's My Horse?\", where I'm shown as being no good at being a cowboy. At least, initially.Big Brother Instinct: Towards Dil. Even as a preteen, I still care about my younger brother.Continuity Nod: I carry around a screwdriver-shaped keychain, a throwback to my trademark toy as a baby... but it's not just a screwdriver-shaped keychain, as you'll find if you continue reading below.Gadgeteer Genius: Just like Dad.The Hero: Generally. That is, unless Kimi or Chuckie or pretty much any of my friends... and Angelica takes the lead in certain episode.Heterosexual Life-Partners: Me and Chuckie are still the best of friends like in the original show.Iconic Item: \"Memoirs of a Finster\" That episode where Kimi discovered that she's of Japanese descent? Onmy side of the storyviewers learned that I still have that toy screwdriver from when I was a baby. I converted that old thing into a keychain and I never leave home without it.Informed Judaism: Averted, as opposed to my infant days. I actually celebrate Hanukkah and Passover, and I once tried the \"nice Jewish boy\" routine to win a girl's heart.Jerkass Ball:noteYou shouldn't learn that first word, little meWhen I'm frustrated, I often lash out at my friends for no good reason.Prima Donna Director: I have aspirations of being a great film director, and sometimes falls into this.The Scapegoat: There have been a couple of episodes where the entire gang blames me for something I'm not technically responsible for. \"Dude, Where's My Horse?\" is one such episode.Ship Tease: The entire focus of the episode \"TP+KF\" is on hinting at a mutual attraction between me and Kimi.Tragic Mistake: In \"All Broke Up\", my attempt to get my friends off my back about Rachel moving results in them getting Rachel to come back when I already moved on and found a new girl. Really bad move. This ends up causing me to lose Rachel for good."}
{"text": "Me as the Metalbending Police ChiefMe in my elderly yearsJdhfisk iduckakrk iskfjfi7=h ififjjxjjd jdh j jsjcl wlldpspw p. Jfjfjosob I od0b ajchy bdj pooh HD idoosv q7r 9 rjdklfg.Lqlapaqa jflgpjeb kdkckekkwkdjf. Fjfjeldnf b kaldickwmamchcu vnc jrjfjk 847 ldb 4 jf yd kdk llwlb kxnn jdjajps Lqlapaqahdnn kdkwplwldnnxnankei kdnfjrjsjdjfkjfkdkrjfkskekfjjfjfjr. Ijdjsh jdirjj.noteJohnny Cage:You know, sweetie, maybe you should let me do this for ya.Alright, I got someone to take over the typing bit. I was starting to worry you'd actually make me do the whole page.So anyway.You cannot be serious.You just can't. You givea falcon-themed race car driverhis own, you givea sociopathic little boyhis own, you even givean evil talking monkeyhis own, and yet it took you this much time to give me my own Self-Demonstrating page on TV Tropes?!I'm shocked, I tell you. Shocked!!Sigh. Anyway, introduction time. I'm Toph Beifong, one of the many female characters on the hit animated series,Avatar: The Last Airbender. If you don't know what happens in it, I'll tell you. Ahem...it mainly takes place in a world where most of the people have developed the incredible skill of bending, which enables us to combine our fighting styles and spiritual energy together to control the legendary four elements:water,earth,fire, andair. Together many people and benders alike made nations that fit their respective element. They are, in this order;the Water Tribe,the Earth Kingdom,the Fire Nation, andthe Air Nomads. A long time ago, all four of these nations lived together in peace and harmony. But sadly everything changed for the worse when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, the only one able to master all four of the elements, could take care of them. Unfortunately for all of us, when the world needed him most, he just vanished, and we were just left to be sitting ducks. Because of this, a massive war took all the peace and strangled it like it was just a mere throat in the millions of people that we lost fighting it. The biggest casualty has to have been the Air Nomads, since Fire Lord Sozin launched an attackthat left the Nomads a little worse for the wear.About a hundred years of this war has been going on, and many fear that the Avatar's cycle of reincarnation was broken. But one day, Katara and Sokka, two Water Tribe siblings, found the new Avatar; an airbender, and by extension, the last airbender. The airbender's name is Aang, and while he is an amazing airbender, he has to learn the other elements before he can save the world. Now that you're caught on what the show is about, now it's time to tell you who I am. I'm a young girl who is one of the members of Team Avatar, a group of young heroes that have dedicated their summer, and by extension, their lives, to save the world from the clutches of the evil Fire Nation's rule. I'm Aang's earthbending teacher, as well as the team's only earthbender. Here's a description of who I am in just one little sentence:I am the greatest earthbender in the world!!I know that sounds egocentric at first, but trust me, I can prove it in about a second. Anyway, if you want my life story, you're gonna hafta either watch the show or read on. I'll be honest, I got a lot done with Aang and his friends. I held my own in battle, wriggled my toes in the grass (which might have been fur), heck, I even invented metalbending, which no one in the entire world had done. So yeah, I am an invaluable part of Team Avatar, and if it wasn't for me, Aang would've never learned earthbending, the world would've been doomed, and I wouldn't have had the chance to show the world what I'm made of.Anyway, I'm mainly voiced by the cute babyfaced little girl named Jessie Flower, which kinda contrasts with my rough and tumble exterior. I suggest you read all of this in her voice, since her voice is pretty much mine. Okay okay, Iwould eventually be voicedbyKate HigginsandPhilece Sampler(Rest well in the Spirit World Philece) in the sequel series, if you prefer me being bash as an adult that is. And once you're done, earthbend as far away from here as possible.Your life will be ruined if you don't.And for crying out loud,please forget aboutthe movie. Just watch the show. We all know how much of a trainwreck that was. I'm just glad I wasn't in it.Everything about meAchilles' Heel: ...okay, so maybe I'm very reliant on my\"tremor sense\"to function. Unfortunately, while it's very useful, it's not foolproof, and has a few holes.First off, I can't sense anything if it's in water or in the air. As such, I can't swim and I'm extremely vulnerable to aerial attacks. I guess I should be lucky that there weren't any airbenders besides Aang in the past 100 years, or else I really would've been helpless.Secondly, standing on anything other than solid earth will affect my \"vision,\" making me weaker or helpless depending on circumstances. When I stood on wood, I had to hold Aang's arm while walking.Finally,taking out my footing or injuring my feetwill leave meactually blinduntil I get better.Affirmative Action Girl: I'm the second girl in the second season, so yeah.Agony of the Feet: I can walk barefoot on any surface no problem, but try giving me a foot massage and Iwillthrow you across the room. There's also that time I accidentally stepped on fire, but whowouldn'tthat hurt?Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy: Well, Girl:Yes,yes,and yes. I'm ablind girlthatmakes it known that I'mthe greatest earthbender in the world whenever I get the chance.And I've got the skills to prove it.I've participated in anundergroundfighting tournament and instantly became its champion, repeatedly got into fights with huge guys with arms larger than I am just tocurbstomp themseconds later, createdmetalbending, and I overall live and breathe this trope. When I found out that the Ember Island Players' play chronicling our adventures was portraying me as a burly man who sees by screaming, I was ecstatic.Badass Adorable: On the outside, you usually see a cute little girl. On the inside, you see one of the strongest earthbenders in the world between Xin Fu, who ran Earth Rumble VI, and King Bumi, who can earthbend with his face.Badass Boast: I called myself \"the greatest earthbender in the world\" after I metalbended out of an inescapable cage. My captors were horrified, and rightfully so.Badass Teacher: Who taught Aang earthbending?Badbutt: I'm a tiny blind girl who acts like a pro wrestler within the bounds of a kid's show.Beyond the Impossible: I inventedmetalbending, something that was stated to be impossible for many earthbenders to do so.The Big Gal: Yes! Well, you don't see it physically, you see it through my personality and my earthbending skills. The Ember Island Players' play made fun of this since an actual big guy played me in the play they made about our adventures.Bizarre Alien Senses: My ability to \"see\" using earthbending counts as this, as the closest thing to it in your world could be snakes or elephant's ability to detect low-frequency sounds through the ground.Black Comedy: I have absolutely no problem using my blindness for a laugh or two or to make a point.Black Magician Girl: I happen to be a twelve-year-old girl andsnarking goddesswho dealsmountainsof damageto villains. I also love dealing out a good offensive smackdown using my earthbending.Blind Mistake:...(sigh)It happened during the Serpent's Pass incident. While I was struggling in the water after the Serpent smashed Katara's ice bridge, I mistook Suki for Sokka after she saved me and kissed her on the cheek. I've been trying to forget about it ever since.While we were looking for Appa, I tried to prove I can put up missing posters of Appa despite my blindness...and I ended up putting one of them upside down, so, yeah, fail.noteSokka:Does anyone wants to tell her she actually glued the poster's content right onto the wall...(Sokka sees the rest of the Gaang run for it)OH COME GUYS! Don't leave me with her!When Sokka tried to challenge Zuko to a sword duel, I held up a poster cheering for Zuko, upside down.The Duke noticed and fixed it.Blind Weaponmaster: I'm a blindearthbendingmaster.Blue Blood: Okay, there only was one upside to my family: they're a well-known family, complete with a family crest. I'm usually not one to brag about it, but my aristocratic background has come in handy on a few occasions.Boisterous Bruiser: \"Yeah! Let's break some rules!\" SMASH!Break the Haughty: I admit I was a bit of aspoiled little piece of workwith amassive sense of entitlementwhen I first joined Aang, Katara, and Sokka. After being told by Zuko's uncle Iroh that good friends help one another out, I started to grow out of it, but it wasn't until I failed to protect Appa from being kidnapped by sandbenders that humility really became an important virtue for me.Bruiser with a Soft Center: I show affection by punching people.Brilliant, but Lazy: When the team needed to infiltrate high society, I said that Aang and Sokka would stick out like sore thumbs. When they pointed out that I was the biggest slob in the group, I fired back that I was alonely girlwhose parentsforced me to act cultured, I justchosenot to.Brutal Honesty: I'm often brutally honest when criticizing others, especially my friends. In fact, I'm very honest about my opinions on others regardless of status (in this case, the Avatar, Aang) or age (in this case, Zuko's uncle, Iroh).Child Prodigy: I'm one of the youngest benders you get to see, yet I'm already one of the most powerful not-the-Avatar earthbenders. Also, I invented metalbending on the fly when I was captured, which was believed to be an impossible skill. And by the time Sozin's Comet came knocking, I'm able to sandbend, despite saying that I hated sand when we were in the desert. Eat your heart out,Anakin Skywalker.Cool Crown: Sometime after Fire Lord Ozai's defeat, I switched out my headband for a green tiara. It reflects my new position as head of the Beifong Metalbending Academy.Curb-Stomp Battle:The second I show up,I deliver one of these to the group of professional earthbenders in Earth Rumble VI.Also, Team Avatar, which includes me, easily decimated the palace guards on our way to find the Earth King.Cute Bruiser: I'm the shortest of all of Team Avatar, yet I manage to dole out the most butt-kicking of all of them.Dig Attack: I can do this: since I \"see\" through vibrations in the ground, I know where the enemy is even underground.Disability Superpower: Although blindness isn't really a requisite for an earthbender to use my method of \"seeing\", it did lead me to focus my senses to an unprecedented degree, allowing me to see things approaching or beneath me in great detail and leading to my invention of metalbending.Deadpan Snarker: Along withDisabled Snarker. Some of the show's best lines are from me, especially when I'm talking trash to my opponents. For instance:Me (to Bumi):Look, Pops, just because you're as old as dirt doesn't mean you know how to bend it.Disabled Snarker: Mostly at Sokka's expense.Dishing Out Dirt: Uh, hello, earthbender?Does Not Like Shoes:I have a reason for that. Because I'm blind, my bare feet are the strongest connection I have to the world. Anything that's not solid ground (or even moderate bandaging) dampens my \"vision\". I made sure to prove it too; whenever I'm asleep, I have my feet out of contact with the ground as the equivalent of\"closing my eyes.\"\u25caDrill Sergeant Nasty: During Aang's earthbending training, I was tough, critical, and I used methods like \"hold still while a large boulder rolls its way towards you\". Eventually I lightened up on him after I butted heads with Katara.Dude Magnet: Well, there was Satoru when we went to that refinery who took an almost-instant liking to me. Then, there's the two guys who fathered my daughters, one's name being Kanto.Evil Laugh: I let out an amazing maniacal laugh when I was acting as the Melon Lord. I loved every single second of it!Extra-ore-dinary: How many times do I have to mention that I invented metalbending?The Face: I'm the youngest member of Team Avatar, and yet I'm the one with the most social savvy, due to being raised by rich socialites. Technically, it should be Aang, since he's the Avatar and not me, but I'm usually the one doing the talking.Foil:I'm sort of this to Mai. Both of us were raised by very fancy families that suppressed them, what with my parents overprotecting me because of my blindness and Mai's parents keeping her well-behaved so she didn't jeopardize her dad's political career. I responded by defying my parents, acting out, and really enjoying my earthbending, whereas Mai obeyed them, becoming very insular and apathetic to almost everything.Sometimes, I'm this to Aang. Our upbringings are quite different, as Monk Gyatso believed in letting Aang be a kid, while my parents forced me to learn tradition and propriety. As a result, I start to wonder if Aang's trying to hold onto his past, while Aang wonders if I'm trying too hard to run away from my past.Friendless Background: Due to being sheltered from the outside world by my EXTREMELY overprotective parents, I never made a friend before meeting Aang, Katara, and Sokka. Me becoming part of Team Avatar was important to me changing for the better. The only friends I had were badgermoles.Forgot the Disability: The rest of the group (especially Sokka) tends to forget about me being blind, leading tomany of my legendary one-liners.Sokka:It's so dark in here, I can't see a thing!Me:Oh no, what a nightmare!Sokka: Sorry.It didn't happen when Sozin's Comet arrived, when Sokka, Suki and I took over a Fire Nation airship:Me:That's agreatidea, let theblind girlsteer the giant airship.Sokka:I was talking to Suki.Me:That...would make a lot more sense.On one adventure it happenedtwice:Sokka:Toph, when I was in town, I found something that you're not gonna like. [holds up wanted poster for Toph]Me:Well, itsoundslike a sheet of paper, but I'm guessing you're referring to what'sonthe sheet of paper.LaterKatara:What's this? [holds up the same poster]Me:Idon'tknow!I meanseriously, what's with you people? I'mblind!Have a look-see already...Oh, wait!The Gadfly: I love to use my blindness to mess with the rest of the group, such as saying that Sokka's poorly drawn picture of Appa looks just like him, or shouting that I've spotted Wan Shi Tong's Library while we were flying on Appa's back.Me:There it is![everyone scans in the direction I'm pointing, and one by one, silently glare at me]Me:... that's what it'll sound like when one of you spots it.[I put on a big, dopey grin and wave one of my hands back and forth over my eyes]Girl of My Dreams: Not that Aang had a crush on me, but he saw me in a vision before ever having met me. When Aang, Katara, and Sokka did run into me a short time later, Aang was positively convinced that I, and no one else, was destined to be his earthbending teacher.And he was absolutely right.Good is Not Nice: I may be just as heroic, brave, and self-sacrificing as any other member of the team, but I'm still a bit of a jerk who rarely opens up to anybody.Handicapped Badass: I'm blind, but I can \"see\" by sensing vibrations with my feet.Has a Type: All of my crushes andlove interestsare decent guys.Hidden Depths: When Katara and I went on a girls' day out, it was made rather clear that for all of my claims of not caring what others think of my looks, I'm actually quite hurt by such rejection.Hot-Blooded: There's areasonwhy the Ember Island Players chose to portray me the way they did.\"I am not Toph! I am MELON LORD!MUAHAHAHA!\" Oh, that feels good!Inferiority Superiority Complex: It's a mild case, and it's kept in the background for the most part. It's most evident during me and Katara's \"girl's day out\" and whenever my feet are shot.Intergenerational Friendship: I kinda have this with Zuko's uncle Iroh, but hey, it'sIroh.Jerkass Has a Point: As rude as I am, I can be right at times:When we were all arguing due to exhaustion, I was the first to point out that Appa's shedding was the reason why Azula and those girls were able to keep following us and thus why we couldn't sleep, but I admit I took it too far by blaming Appa, though that could also be due to being tired. We were all at each other's throats that day.I also called out Aang, Katara, and Sokka on letting their personal experiences with Zuko keep Aang from finding a firebending master quite bluntly, despite me pointing out that he was being sincere to us and he has done some good, like rescuing Appa. That especially was rather astounding, because I never really cared about these things when I met them, but later on, I saw the bigger picture. How's that for being blind?Me:You're all forgetting one crucial fact: Aang needs a firebending teacher! We can't think of a single person in the world to do the job. Now one shows up on a silver platter, and you won't even think about it!? I'm beginning to wonder who's really the blind one around here.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite my tough exterior, I'm not above warming up during intimate moments, as evidenced when I join in group hugs with Team Avatar and hold hands with Aang at the prospect of friendships lasting more than one lifetime.The Lad-ette: The musclebound, belching, spitting hulk that was in the play near the end of the story? That's me on the inside.Large Ham: I'm a rare little girl variant. Play it once more:\"I am not Toph! I am MELON LORD!Muahahaha!\"Lessons in Sophistication: Surprisingly, I can pull this off. I was born into Earth Kingdom High society, so I know how to act like aproper lady, I just choose not to. I'm able to help clean up Katara for a palace party hosted by the Earth King but I don't even attempt with Sokka and Aang. They're that hopeless. Call it rude if you want.Little Miss Badass: I'm only twelve (and so is Aang physically for that matter), but I'm one of the most kick-butt characters in the entire series.Little Miss Con Artist: Yeah, I did this at one point. We all like to call it the Runaway story. When Sokka, Aang, and I went to town for some fun, we decided to get money by exploiting people's notion that since I'm blind I'm no threat. Katara warned us that it would end up blowing up in our face eventually...and she was unfortunately right.Living Lie Detector: I can do this through my seismic sense, although some characters do get away with lying on some occasions. More specifically, I seem to be unable to detect the falsehoods of sociopathic or pathological liars, who can say the most ludicrous or subtle lie without it having any kind of effect on their physiology for me to pick up on at all. Take Azula for example.Logical Weakness: Even with myseismic sense, I do have some weaknesses compared to everyone else in Team Avatar.I'm completely blind if I'm standing on anything that isn't solid earth. If I get lifted off the ground, or walk on ice, or get thrown into water, I can't see.While I did learn how to bend metal, like all the other earthbenders, I can't bend wood. I got a hard reminder of this when Combustion Man paid some people to throw me in a wooden cell. Though I have to wonder how he knew about my skills.I can't do anything that involves actually needing to see with eyes. So writing or putting up posters is an instant fail.Lonely Rich Kid: Yeah, and I dealt with it by joining an underground fighting tournament and mopping the floor with anyone who challenged me.Meaningful Name: My name's this to a certain extent, since it's kanji. In the adventure with the Serpent's Pass, the name on my passport reads \u62d3\u8299 \"supported lotus\", which hardly describes me at all, but matches my parents' view of me being delicate and helpless. Averted in me and Katara's \"Girl's day out\" where the spelling of my name temporarily changed to \u6258\u592b \"entrusted man\", before going back to \u62d3\u8299 when we met the Earth King.Muscles Are Meaningless: In my case, this relates specifically to my earthbending. I'm clearly very strong for my size and age, often hurting my own teammates, no pushovers themselves, with playful punches. However, situations where I don't have it tend to emphasize my helplessness. This is partly because it takes away theDisability Superpowerthat allows me to bypass my blindness, but I never demonstrate superior martial arts skills when not aided by my earthbending.Never Learned to Read: I have a reason for that. I'm blind in a worldwithout what you readers call \"Braille\". As such,Sokka's plan to forge a letter from me to help me reconcile with Katara falls flat. I don't know what he was thinking. And he's supposed to bethe brains of Team Avatar!Never Mess with Granny: I eventually have grandkids around the time of Korra and I'm still a force to be reckoned with.The Nicknamer: I call Aang \"Twinkle Toes\", as he'sverylight on his feet, with his being an airbender and all (well, compared to the powerful, deliberate stomps of a master earthbender like me, anyway).No Hero to His Valet: One of my defining characteristics is that I don't give Aang special treatment even though he's the Avatar. He may be the student, but I treat him like an equal and friend, to the point where I never fail to vocally criticize Aang to his face when I think it's needed.Not Hyperbole: When I say that I'm the greatest earthbender in the world, you better believe I can back that up. I'm the girl who duelled King Bumi, who literally had a hundred years of experience on him, and can earthbend with his face, and I fought him to a draw! At age 12! Even earlier, I figured out how to turn over a major weakness of earthbending by figuring outmetalbending, which no one in history had done before.When the new Avatar, Korra, took over,this claimstillapplies. Even when there's earthbenders like Lin, Ghazan, and Kuvira.Obfuscating Disability: While my eyes honestly do not work, I occasionally hide my earthbending-linked tremor sense to play up the appearance of a helpless blind little girl. Again, remember the Runaway story.Odd Friendship: Well, like everyone else, I met some rather unusual people, but we're all good friends nevertheless.Overly Narrow Superlative: In the North and South fiasco, I proudly called the Beifong Metalbending Academy as \"the most prestigious metalbending school in the world\". One of the lily-liver\u2014my students pointed out we're pretty much theonlymetalbending school but I saw it as kind of the point since we do something that used to be considered impossible until I learned how to do it.The Pig-Pen: I'm a mild case. Even though I avoid almost all and any personal hygiene, especially where my feet are concerned, I don't look it unless someone else sees it. I also mention that Ipick my nose a lot...and my toes. Twice. It felt great, ok?Parents as People: Okay, somaybeI wasn't the best mother to either of my daughters, but what would you expect from someone whose own parents tried to keep her sheltered her whole life because she just so happened to be blind?(sigh)Maybe I should've done the exact opposite of what my parents did, but nothing I say can justify not being a good enough parent. Hopefully, Zuko's doing better in the parenting position than I am.Pint-Sized Powerhouse:I'm absolutely tiny being a little over 4 feet tall, but my only non-Avatar rival in earthbending is King Bumi.And it's not like I lost that status when you first saw old me. Ha ha ha. Can't always be standing up at that age.Power Levels: Personally, I consider myself the strongest bender in the group, though obviously I'm not counting Aang when he enters the Avatar State, and when you think about it, we're all pretty strong benders.Rebellious Princess: I'm not actually royalty, but close enough. I rebelled against my parents because of how they stifled my freedom due to their overprotectiveness.Recruited from the Gutter: It'skinda flip-flopped.Yours truly, thespoiled little rich girl, was recruited by the pacifistic monk and his two near-penniless sidekicks. However, I very much liveas ifI'm in the gutter, pretty much because I wasn't able to.Red Oni, Blue Oni: I'm the snarky, blunt red to Katara's demure, caring blue.Reflectionless Useless Eyes: I have these to show I'm blind.Sad Clown:I, next to Zuko, when all is said and done, have more baggage than a cargo ship: I was always treated as a fragile thing by my parents, ran away from home after they said they'd be even more strict about protecting me (even after I showed first-hand that I was already one of the best earthbenders in the world at TWELVE), is legitimately torn over how I must have broken my parents' hearts and made them worry as a result, felt responsible for Appa having been kidnapped, and was actually terribly insecure about my blindness (despite acting like it's a non-issue normally). Outwardly, I seem like a total snark-bender who doesn't really care about anything, save for my friends.Sadistic Choice: I was forced to choose between saving Appa from Sandbenders or saving the rest of the Gaang from a building that was being pulled into the Spirit World. I tried toTake a Third Option, but I wasn't to see very well due to the sand being very fuzzy. I wasn't very good at sandbending at the time, OK?Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: As a member of a powerful merchant family, I flashed my gold-bordered passport and made up something about \"valets\" and a \"seeing-eye lemur\" to get entry passes to Ba Sing Se for myself and the rest of the group from a humorless border official. Unfortunately, it doesn't work as well when I later tried to bluff my way into the Earth King's party without invitations. All the damage we did beforehand didn't help either.Sent Into Hiding: I was this until meeting Aang. My overprotective parents kept me locked inside the grounds of their home (although I was able to sneak out to work as the Blind Bandit).She Cleans Up Nicely: Almost immediately you see the rough wrestler become a well-dressed lady when you first see me.Sheltered Aristocrat: I was raised to be this due to my blindness, but over the years I became much less sheltered thanks to figuring out how to leave the grounds in secret and learning how to earthbend.Single Woman Seeks Good Man: All of my love interests happened to benice guys.I did have a huge crush onSokka. If it wasn't for him currently dating Suki, after Ozai went down and the war was over, I'd have probably kissed him until our lungs gave out.That adventure at the Refinery had me show a bit of interest in Satoru, who considers me his hero; needless to say, his praising of me pretty much broke the mold.When Korra came to town, I revealed the identity Lin's father \u2014 Kanto, who I deemed a \"nice man\", but our relationship didn't work out for reasons unknown.Sour Supporter: Sometimes. I often vocally express my doubt about our game plans, but I will help my buddies out no matter what.Street Smart: That's part of why I'm theTeam Faceand not Aang, even though he's the Avatar: I know how to take advantage of street situations. And it's more than just the street. At the custom official and for the Earth King's party I was the one doing almost all the talking.Tailor-Made Prison: When I got trapped in a steel cage, Xin Fu was convinced that I couldn't escape because I wasn't able to bend metal. Turns out that it did help me, and Imade metalbending happen.However, when I was put in a wooden cell, this time I really couldn't escape on my own, since wood isn't a bendable substance. Maybe one day, plantbending will become a thing.Tiny Tyrannical Girl: To quote this \"Dr. Eggman\" guy, \"I've always enjoyed telling people what to do.\"noteDr. Eggman:Ah, that's the spirit! (Licensing fees, please.)Me:Sure... I'll pay you if you... look there!Dr. Eggman:Huh?(he sees that I already escaped from him via earthbending)Dr. Eggman: I HATE THAT EARTHBENDING SCAMMER!Tomboy and Girly Girl: Katara's a full-blownbutt-kicker like me, but her role as thesurrogate momand hermeans of fighting tacticsmeant that she often clashed with my morelaid-back, \"I'm just one of the other burly men\" ways.Tomboy with a Girly Streak: I kick butt and don't take nothing from nobody, but I do know high society manners and I actually enjoyed my spa day with Katara. Well, except for the feet part.Took a Level in Badass: I was already a Master earthbender when Aang met me. I could take on most any earthbender, save Bumi, and win easily. How do I become even more awesome? By developing metalbending, something no one in the history of the world had done before.And yes,in the future, I simply kicked Korra's butt without needing to use any hand motions. And don't think airbending is going to fool me anymore. I can easily dodge those air blasts.Tsundere: I show affection for someone by punching their arm. I'm usually at my softest around Sokka but only at certain times, like I missed him but I didn't wanna admit it. Wait...oh, come on!The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny:I was once paired upagainst that emo sandbender namedGaara.I won, for none shall ever challenge the Greatest Earthbender in the world and live to tell the tale!Mwahahahahahaha!noteBoomstick: No. Actually, you should have lost Toph.Me:What? Don't be silly. He can't touch me at all.Boomstick: He actually could after we found out about his skills. You were actually too slow to make use of your seismic sense to make up for the speed difference.Waif-Fu: Uh, not really. It does look like I have superhuman physical strength, but I'm really just using earthbending to lift things around me. When using only my own physical strength I'm actually quite weak, as shown when trying to lift a large metal mallet. I still pulled it off though.The Watson: It's not so much in personality - I actually tend to be the most knowledgeable of our gang (well, next to Aang, who has a hundred years of knowledge behind him, and Sokka, who'sthe brainsof our scrappy little group), who are allcountry mice- but my blindness means other characters will read stuff (all in Chinese or Japanese characters)out loudto me, and thus, you guys.\"Well Done, Daughter!\" Girl: I have a case of this, though unlike Zuko, it's more of trying to get my father to accept me for who I am as opposed to trying to please him.The Worf Effect:My tremor-sense isn't limited to what's in front of me, goes right through cover, and has a range of over a hundred meters, so as long as I'm part of the Gaang,no-one cansneak up on us.I pulled this off fortwenty-six days,(in fact it's how we found the Western Air Temple) but theinstantI got myfeet burnt, Combustion Man showed up and started blowing everything to rubble.When we went to Wan Shi Tong's library, the desert sand puts me at a relative disadvantage, as the looseness of it messes with the vibrations in the ground and blurs my vision. This ends up contributing to myfailure to protect Appa from being caught by the sandbenders. I was already struggling to defend Appa because I also had to concentrate on keeping the library from sinking into the ground, but even when I tried to attack the sandbenders, my aim was slightly off due to the shiftiness of the sand. Eventually, I realized I had to cut my losses and put all of my effort into holding up the library, sadly allowing for Appa's capture.I've hated looking back on that ever since, and now that my sandbending has improved since, history will most certainly not be repeating itself!Yamato Nadeshiko: I can fake it perfectly, as when I show up in a white dress in my parents' home - except I really, really,reallydon't like it. Before leaving home I moonlight that as a pro wrestler, and once I'm free of my parents' supervision and can act the way I want to, I prove to be very crude, aggressive, and unladylike indeed. Remind me why exactly you were glad that there was another girl in the group, Katara?You Called Me \"X\"; It Must Be Serious:In more serious moments, I don't use nicknames.Younger Mentor, Older Disciple: I'm the youngest out of all the people to teach Aang earthbending, although he's technically older than most of his mentors anyway. However, I one-up them by being younger than Aang physically too. (He's technically 112.)I guess that would be all so...(earthbends the viewer away)"}
{"text": "Linda Cardellini,Hayley Kiyoko, Sarah Gilman,Gina Rodriguez, orMindy Kaling.)-THUD!-Oof ow! Darn it my glasses. Where are my glasses? I can't see without them! Where did they go? No, not there, not...oh there we go.(Puts them on)Oh, Jinkies! Sorry, didn't see you there, I seemed to have stumbled into some weird room of encyclopedia knowledge apparently. Hmm, \u201cself-demonstrating\u201d? An odd turn of title, I guess this place wants me to talk about myself? Well, I suppose I have time, even though I was in the middle of a mystery. But we're at the point where putting a plan into motion and my friends are luring the monster and... oh I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start from the top.Salutations, my name is Velma Dinkley and I'm part of a group known as Mystery Incorporated, though sometimes known as the Scooby Gang too named after our Great Dane mascot Scooby-Doo. The rest of our group comprises of our fearless leader Fred Jones, fashion-centric and often danger-prone Daphne Blake and our lovable coward second to Scooby, who also just happens to be his owner, Shaggy Rogers. Together we go roaming around supposedly \u201chaunted\u201d areas that are scaring the locals. But more often than not it's usually some criminal in a costume having taken advantage of a local legend or acting as a specter to keep people away for so reason, usually involving money. That's where our group comes in: we go into the area, look for clues and eventually trap the monster and unmask who it really is. My role is essentially to piece things together to pinpoint the culprit and the motive so that when the time comes when they're caught, I can explain who they are and why they did it. And gotta say it's immensely gratifying to do it too, save the times when it was some other matters I didn't know about but that was neither here nor there. Ehehe... heh. -Ahem- oh I likewise sometimes have to keep Shaggy and Scooby on task, usually with Scooby Snacks as bribes since the two won't work up the nerve to lure out the monsters. I do feel a little guilty putting them as bait like that, but it works with our dynamic, and, being blunt here, the two are surprisingly good at attracting them.We've been doing this for a long while, like since early elementary, at least I think so, or was it high school? Things tend to get murky when it comes to the history of how our gang was formed. Jinkies, It honestly feels like we've been doing this since the 60s era, or was it the 90s? 2000s? Well, one of ourprevious outings ended up with the time-space continuum hitting a reset, so honestly who knows? The most logical thing I can make of this is that I and the gang are still doing our mystery-solving and don't intend to stop anytime soon no matter what universal retcon hits us.Hmm? Jinkies, what's this? A list of my attributes, or \u201ctropes\u201d? Well, then let's see...Arbitrary Skepticism: I tend to flip-flop depending on the iteration. Sure I favor the logical point of the cases my friends and me get into, but sometimes we do tend to run into the supernatural. In early times I was more inclined to believe the fantastical things I see with my eyes. But in recent eras, I tend to dismiss things because it's just too out there to be believed. Heck at one point I out and out retconned an adventure I had about zombies I had previously, blaming it on \"swamp gas\".(Throws up her hands defensively)Hey I said it depended on the iteration, they're not all well explained. I just work with what's presented to me.Berserk Button: Well harming my friends obviously, but likewise insulting my intelligence or not having all the facts to a mystery when it reaches its conclusion and the case just solves itself. Likewise medieval dresses in two iterations, apparently cause I'm not a big fan of cos-playing anything from that era (something about being called a \"wench\"). I was forced into it in one iteration because the case was in a medieval fair and the owner wouldn't let us pass if I didn't get into it. The things I do for this profession.Beware the Nice Ones: Again I'm not one for fighting, but if my friends are in trouble, you can be sure I won't be afraid to jump in and help them. Likewise don't insult my intelligence. Even we nerds have our breaking points and I assure you, it's not pretty if we get provoked.Blind Without 'Em: Oh yes, much as I'm embarrassed to admit it, I'm very far-sighted. Can't see a thing when the glasses come off. Not exactly good when monsters lurk about but luckily they tend to trip over me when that happens. I really should consider laser eye surgery.Brainwashed and Crazy: Well sometimes, most egregiously there was that incident in Transylvania, Pennsylvania (Yes, really) where some old foes of ours tried to get back at us for stopping them. Hypnotizing me into some crazy Frankenstein-Esque scientist that nearly tried to experiment on Shaggy and Scooby. Dolling me up in this gown and even dying my hair. Crazy huh? Luckily I was snapped out of it but man did they have it out for me.Catchphrase:I know I've been saying it frequently on this page, but just to reiterate: \"Jinkies!\" I started saying that when I was young, to let the gang know I found clues. I guess it's stuck since then.Also, whenever I lose my glasses, I will almost always say, \"My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!\"Darker and Edgier: What? Dark? Me? Really?Hmm it seems therewas a comic bookwhere an apocalypse ravaged the world and we had to band together to survive. And... oh dearI was the cause of it! Jinkies!This is a little unnerving, l-let's just move on.Oh dear seems there's likewise a show where I'm the main lead and...Is...is that brains coming out of a woman's head?E-Excuse me...(She goes offscreen and we can hear retching sounds)Jinkies, that was so disgusting... I'm glad Scooby isn't in this one... Let's move on...Deadpan Snarker: What can I say? When you're dealing with cowards and criminals you tend to snark a lot.Dork in a Sweater: Well the \u201cdork\u201d is a bit uncalled for (seriously they had to use my picture for this too?). But yes, many would know me from my iconic trademark orange sweater. It's essentially the one thing a lot of iterations never really change.Dramatic Unmask: Something Fred and me tend to take turns doing when the culprit is caught. Gotta really emphasize their crimes after all. Plus it's fun!Endearingly Dorky: Jinkies, I mean maybe. I usually try to keep a sense of professionalism for our cases, but even I have my, as most would say, \"geek outs\" if we go to something I like, like exhibits, meeting famous authors, or hockey!... What? Other interests outside the norm are perfectly healthy. Besides don't knock it till you try it.Friend Versus Lover: Hmmone of my iterations had this with Shaggy, we were dating but Scooby got jealous because of the attention I was taking away from his bud. After some tension, Shaggy...-sigh- ...ultimately chose Scooby over me and we decided to beJust Friends. Don't worry I'm over it now and it's for the best for our group. But it does still sting a bit.Hollywood Homely: I guess I'm what you call \u201cfrumpy\u201d or \u201cmousy\u201d or just one of those types that don't like putting myself out there. Knowledge has always been my passion after all.Insufferable Genius: Wha... HEY! Okay so I tend to flaunt my smarts a bit and...maybe get a bit cross if someone outsmarts me or a mystery doesn't pan out the way I thought it would, andmaybeI work a little too much on the logical side of things that I dismiss some supernatural elements. But I wouldn't call it insufferable. There's no crime in displaying one's intellect...until it is and I help stop it of course.Out of Focus: I was surprisingly sidelined during the late 70s/early 80s era since Shaggy and Scooby had more popularity at the time along with Scooby's nephew Scrappy (And before you say anything, no I don't have an opinion on him. I didn't hang out enough to really gauge him. Daphne would know more since she was privy to their adventures at the time. Fred apparently doesn't like to talk about it so eh. Apparentlymy movie iterationhad some experience with him but I likewise heard that wasa major exaggeration too. Again no opinion). Likewise, there was that time in the 2000swhen Shaggy and Scooby inherited their uncle's house and had to fight a supervillain?Again I was barely there for that but helped when they needed me.Playing Against Type: Would you believe at one pointIplayed the monster in a mystery?It was a mummy in this case and to help out a historical restoration group I was with to catch some grave robbers. I was surprised by how much of a fight my friends put up to \u201cstop\u201d me after they found out I was \u201cturned to stone\u201d. Both impressive and rather sweet, really.Race Lift: Most versions of me are Caucasian, with three exceptions. One version from our live-action origins is portrayed by the half-Japanese and half-CaucasianHayley Kiyoko, another from our computer-generated films is Latina, and another version from mymy self-titled seriesis South Asian.Science Hero: Some iterations paint me as being a wiz at tech and chemicals. It does come in handy when dealing with culprits.She Cleans Up Nicely: Oh hehe well, I really don't take stock of my appearance but I've been told I look cute when I wear some other getup like evening dresses or change up my hair a bit.The Smart Guy: Most definitely, as I said, I'm the one who usually pieces together the clues and the culprits' motives. I'm also not bad with puzzles and tech.Tomboy and Girly Girl: Apparently a dynamic I share with Daphne. Granted I don't really see myself as a tomboy but between the two of us, she tends to be the more fashion-minded of the two while some iterations have me like things like hockey and motorsports.Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: One iteration had me terrified of clowns due to some jerk party clown shredding some encyclopedia I had gotten for my birthday when I was a kid (Apparently trying to help me since he thought I got a \u201cboring\u201d gift). So much so Shaggy and meswitched roleswith me being the coward while he was the brave one (Something about the clown monster interfering with his mini-golf game. That was one of our weirder mysteries).(Hears a ruckus in the background and cries of \u201cHelp/Relp!\u201d)Jinkies! That's my cue! Was nice talking with you all. If you ever need any \u201cmeddling kids\u201d, don't be afraid to give us a ring! If it has a mask and a motive, you can be sure Velma Dinkley will crack and uncover it!"}
{"text": "(Wazzzpinator say read likeScott McNeil, orTom Kenny!)Wazzzpinator rules!(CR chambers opens, revealing Waspinator)Ohhh. Wazzpinator just get out of CR chamber. Wazzpinator keep getting squished! Why univerzzze hate Wazzpinator?Uh? Who are you?You fanzzzz of Wazzpinator?Horray! Wazzzpinator hazzz fanzzzz! Wazzzpinator feel so happy!Wazzpinator tell you story of Wazzzpinator. Wazzpzinator was made fortoyline and cartoonabout robotzzzz who turn into animalzzz! Wazzzpinator wazzz described asgreat warrior who all feared. Then Wazzzpinator get turned into punching bag! Ohhhh. Wazzpinator spendzzz most of time getting blown up or scrapped by Maximalzzz, which izzz why Wazzzpinator spend too much time in CR chamber. Wazzzpinator tell Megatron thizzz, but Megatron no listenzzzz! Ohhh. So Wazzzpinator gladWazzzpinator so loved by fanzzz!Waspinator! Get your groveling skid plate out here! The Maximals are attacking the base! Do not disobey my orders! Yessssss.Wazzpinator not going to like thizzzz. So read Wazzzpinator'zzz tropes until Wazzzpinator gets back. Probably in piecezzzz. Why Wazzpinator can't be incrozzover with Autobotz and Decepticonz meeting colorful poniez?Adaptational Badass: Inthat ozzer cartoon, Wazzzpinator wazzz not a puzzhover and wazzz genuinely menazzzing, being big, strong, and scary, andshooting lightningzzz! But Wazzzpinator here still suffered a lot! At leazzzt it wazzz actually portrayed as tragedy there.Adaptational Wimp:Wazzpinator'zzz toy, said Wazzpinatorgreat sharpzzzhotandfearedby Maximalzzzz, especially when Wazzzpinator get Transmetal form! But what docartoondo? Make Wazzzpinatorchew toy!Adapted Out: They leave Wazzzpinator out ofBeast Wars: Transformersvideo game? Why developerzzz hate Wazzpinator?Affably Evil: Wazzzpinator act likered mercenary sometimesbyBreaking the Fourth Wall!Amoral Attorney: When Megatron put Two-Head on trial for betrayal, Wazzpinator wazz Two-Head's lawyer. Wazzpinator point out that Two-Head probably going to be scrapped for working with male spider-bot to double-cross Megatron, and concluded by saying Wazzpinator down with that. Megatron even praizze Wazzpinator for eloquent defense!Amusing Injuries: Wazzzzzzpinator always gets hurt! Wazzzpinator get blown to scrap every five secondzzzzz! Why univerzzzze hate Wazzzzpinator?Badass Decay: Wazzpinator wazzzn't alwayzzz univerzze's punching bag. Early episodezz showed Wazzpinator cauzzing grief for Maximalzzz, ezzpecially when working with Dactyl-bot to double team Optimuzz! Maximalzzz only had one flyer on team, Predaconzzz had two! Zzzadly, good timezzz didn't lazzt, and, well...you know what came after that.Being Evil Sucks: Wazzzpinator wazzz fine with being Predacon, until Wazzzpinator kept getting blown up.So Wazzzpinator quit!Berserk Button: Bird-bot try to out-fly Wazzzzpinator! Wazzzzpinator wazzzz not happy! But you know how it goes for Wazzzpinator...Blowing a Raspberry: Wazzzpinator not above doing thizzzz. Cat bot dezzzerved it!Breakout Character: Fanzzzz love Wazzzpinator! Wazzzpinator survive Beast Warzzzz! Wazzzpinator got to be in Hall of Fame! Wazzpzinator even get more tv apperancezzz! Wazzzpinator...RULES!Butt-Monkey: No matter what Wazzzzpinator do, Wazzzpinator alwayzzzz gets blown up! Ohhhhh. Megatron treatzzzz it like businezzzz as usual!Can't Catch Up: Everyone getzzzz Transmetal upgradezzzzz, but doezzzz Wazzzpinator? Nooooooo. Wazzzpinator left out in cold, so Wazzzpinator get blown up every minute! Ohhhhh.Characterization Marches On: Wazzzpinator uzzzed to be fairly competent and deadly. Then Wazzzpinator's luck ran out. Ohhhhh.The Chew Toy: Ohhhhh. Wazzzpinator get blown up too much. Ezzzpecially when Transmetalzzz come along.Cosmic Plaything: The unviverzzze just hatezzzz Wazzzpinator.Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Wazzzpinator izzzn't sharpezzzt tool in shed, but Wazzzpinator can happily hit targetzzz with eazzze!Cuddle Bug: Wazzzpinator uzzze spider-bot as stuffed animal. Wazzzpinator felt happy.Defector from Decadence:Wazzzzzpinator sick of being evil! Sick of being Predacon! And Wazzzzzpinatorespeciallysick ofgetting blown to scrap all the time! So, WazzzzzpinatorQUIT!Demonic Possession: StupidDecepticon jet-robotdo thizzz to Wazzzpinator. If Wazzzpinator ever getzzz hizzzz handzzz on him\u2014ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoh!If he ever gets his hands on who? Don't think I can't take you over again you incompetent wretch!Determinator: You can do what you like to Wazzzpinator, but Wazzzpinator won't stop until every Maximal izzzz destroyed! Heheheheheheheheheheheheh!The Ditz: Wazzzpinator not stupid! Wazzzpinator juzzzt keep head down, that all.Driven to Villainy: Wazzzpinator fromthat ozzzer cartoonwas good bot! But Bumblebot said Wazzzp was a Decepticon spy! Put him in stockade! Made him mad! Wazzzp wanted revenge! Autobots wanted to put Wazzzp back into stockade even though Wazzzp wazzz innocent! Wazzzp ran to spider lady! Spider ladyacted like friend!Made Wazzzp Wazzzpinator!It hurt!Then Spider lady said she wazzz uzzzing Wazzzpinator! So izzz it any surprizzze why Wazzzpinator went bad here? You can blame Shockwave for creating the mezzz in the firzzzt place.Eye Beams: Wait. Wazzzpinator hazzz thezzze? Ohhhh. Why did Wazzzpinator forget?The Fatalist: Wazzzpinator will alwayzzz suffer. So Wazzzpinator juzzzt accept it.Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: Inthat ozzer cartoon, Wazzzp wazzz a good bot! Everyone elzzze hurt him! Frame him up for being a traitor! But then Bumble-bot and Bulk-bot said that I wazzz alwayzzz mean to them, and that even if I weren't a traitor, I wazzz never a good bot! NEVER A GOOD BOT?! WAZZZPINATOR SHOW THEM!!! WILL HAVE REVENGE!!! But show ended before ozzer Wazzzpinator could carry it out.Friendly Sniper: Just because Wazzzpinator get blown up, doezzzn't mean Wazzzpinator can't hit botzzz!Glass Cannon: Wazzzpinator can fly fazzzt and shoot straight. But Maximalzzzz hurt Wazzzpinator before Wazzpinator can hurt them. Ohhhh.Grand Theft Me:Decepticon jet-botsteal Wazzzpinator'zzz body! Wazzzpinator had bad headache. Ohhhhh.Groin Attack: Rat-bot hit Wazzzpinator in groin! But Wazzzpinator no have groin. How odd. Writerzzz have no senzzze of robotzzzz.Happy Ending Override:Wazzpinator wazzz happy azzz god. Then writerzzz take Wazzzpinator'zz happinezzz away. Wazzzpinator have word with executivezzz who made thizzz happen!Harmless Villain:Wazzzzpinator not harmless!Wazzzpiantor, rules!(Squish!)Okay, Wazzzpinator hurt now...ohhhhhh.Hulk Speak: Wazzzpinator talkzz in the third perzzzon.The Igor: Wazzzpinator play role when Megatron make Dinobot II! Wazzzpinator lovezzz to role-play!Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: Fanzzz love Wazzzpinator. But only becauzzzze Wazzpinator get blown up. Every time.Iron Butt Monkey: Wazzzpinator alwazzz get blown up, but it become too common for Wazzpzinator to worry about. Rat-bot even start collecting random scrap partzz of Wazzpinator from every time he blown up. Partzz get regenerated in CR chamber, but Wazzpinator still annoyed that he the only one whose partzz Rat-bot collect.Jerk Jock:That ozzzer Wazzzpinator(back when he wazzz called Wazzzp) wazzz mean and liked to bully Bumblebot. With Iron-bot, Wazzzp even dizzzzmantled his legzzz! But Wazzzp wazzz still a good bot! Yet Bumblebot still blamed Wazzzp for being a Decepticon spy! Wazzzp spent many cyclezzz in stockade! Became mad! Will have revenge on Bumblebot for ruining Wazzzp's life!Losing Your Head: Wazzzpinator alwayzzz lozzze head. Sometimezzz thatzzz all thatzzz left.Lyrical Dissonance: Fans gave Wazzpinator a spot in the Transformerzzz Hall of Fame! They playThe Touchand everything! But what Wazzpinator'zzz entry video get? Wazzzpinator getting blown up! Ohhhh.Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal:Predaconzzz no rezzpect Wazzpinator. So Wazzpinator quit!The Nicknamer: Everyone get nickname from Wazzzpinator. It much eazzier to remember. Except Megatron and Optimus.Oh, Crap!: Wazzzpinator alwayzzz doezzz thizzz when trouble happenzzz. But what can Wazzzpinator do? Wazzzpinator alwayzzz getzzz blown up. Not that Wazzpzinator likezzz it.Only Sane Man: Scorpion-botkizzz-up, Spider-botzzzcrazytraitorzzz, flying Dino-bottraitor, Dinobotbigger traitor, snake/scorpion-botmean, crab-botmad, and ant-boteven madder! That why Wazzzpinator hazzz actual senzzze.O.O.C. Is Serious Business:Wazzpinator stopped talking in third perzzzon when Wazzpinator decide to quite Predacons.Overly-Long Tongue: Wazzzpinator hazzz very long tongue.Pulling Themselves Together: Ant bot get blown up, Wazzzpinator must salvage. Wazzzpinator get blown up, nobody salvage! So Wazzzpinator hazzz to pull himzzzelf together. Ohhhh. Why univerzzze hate Wazzzpinator.Red Herring Mole: Inthat ozzzer cartoon, Wazzzp wazz NOT Decepticon spy! It wazzz Longarm-bot! But Bumblebot still blamed Wazzzp! Locked him in stockade! While Longarm-bot became a head of Autobot Intelligence! Why doezzz every univerzze hate Wazzzpinator?!Rejected Apology: Wazzzp fromthat ozzzer cartoon\"forgave\" Bumblebot...but WAZZZPINATOR NEVER FORGIVE!!!Running Gag: No matter what Wazzzpinator doezzz, Wazzzpinator will alwayzzz get destroyed. Ohhhhhh.Screw This, I'm Outta Here:Wazzpinator quit Predacons! Wazzpinator wazz tired of being blown to scrap! They could kizzz Wazzpinator's big, shiny\u2014(Gets Blown to Scrap)Sitcom Archnemesis: Cat-bot and doggie-bot are Wazzpinator's worzzzt enemies. Wazzpinator at least beat them.So Last Season: Wazzzpinator uzzzed to be deadly air warrior. But then Maximalzzzz get upgradezzzz and Wazzpinator get squished. Ohhhhh.The So-Called Coward: Wazzpinator may get blown up, but Wazzzpinator still fight, even if Wazzpinator in piecezzz!The Starscream: Wazzzpinator not above helping Wazzzpinator. Wazzpinator wantzzz power.YezzzzzzHehehehehehehe\u2014ohohohohohohohoohoh!And rightfully so! After all, who else would dare to accomplish such brilliant schemes as I, the trope namer himself? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH--!Ohhhhh. Wazzpinator hazzz splitting headache!Stuff Blowing Up: Ohhhhhh. Thizzzz alwayzzzz happpenzzzz to Wazzzpinator. What Wazzzpinator been doing with life?Shout-Out: Rhino-bot hurt Wazzzpinator once, so Wazzpinator thought he was Shrapnel! Wazzzpinator! Well, Wazzzpinator thinkzzz he better bug-bot!Take This Job and Shove It:Wazzpinator get sick of being blown to scrap! So Wazzpinator quit!Tempting Fate:Waspinator:Waspinator having good day! Not get shot once!(Is immediately shot)They Killed Kenny Again: Wazzzpinator no die! Wazzzzpinator...just get blown up...ohhhhh. All the time...Third-Person Person: Wazzzpinator alwayzzzz do thizzz. If Wazzzpinatordoesn't do thizzz, there'zzzz problemzzz!This Is Gonna Suck: Wazzzpinator getzzz blown up so much, Wazzpinator just takezzz it azzzz izzzz.Throw the Dog a Bone:Doggie-bot got beat by Wazzzpinator. Thrice! Wazzzpinator, rulezzzzzz!Then, Wazzzpinator get to be happy at last.Even after all the slag Wazzpinator goes through, Wazzpinator the last Predacon still functioning at end of main Beast Wars continuity! All other Predacons can kiss Wazzpinator's big, fat, stripy...Took a Level in Badass:In Beazzt Warz continuity, bezzidezz all other indignitiezz Wazzpinator goezz through,The Starscreamuzzed Wazzpinator's body way better than he did. Maximals notice how much better Wazzpinator fly and fight while controlled by Starscream's ghozzt.In Animated continuity, Wazzp become a lot crazzier and more dangerouzz after being turned into Wazzpinator. That guy wazz even more wrecked mentally than Beast Warz Wazzpinator is physically, and that zzaying zzomething!Villainous Virtues: Univerzzzze may hate Wazzpinator, but Wazzpinator no stop! Wazzpinator destroy Maximalzzz!Villain Decay: Wazzpinator suffer thiz badly after pilot epizodez.Villainous Friendship: Terrorzaur is only Predacon to drag Waspinator back to base for repairs, and is the only being in the universe to treat Wazpinator with a modicum of respect.Vocal Evolution: Wazzzpinator no make buzzing sound! Then Wazzzpinator get buzzier! Ohhhh. Wazzpinator well-renowned for thizzzz.Yank the Dog's Chain:Wazzpinator lozze worship. Then Wazzpinator becomezzz slave to Megatron. Wazzzpinator wazzz fine with thizzz. Then Wazzzpinator lozze it again! Ohhhh. Thizzz why Wazzpinator's voiceno like that show.At least Wazzzpinator thinkzzz.(Waspinator returns, in pieces)Wazzzpinator losezzz. Again. Ahhh. Wazzzpinator go back to CR Chamber to get repairs. Again. Ohhh. Univerzzze really hatezzz Waspinator today.FeedbackVideo Example(s):\"Waspinator Happy At Last\"In the final scene of \"Beast Wars\", Waspinator, who had suffered no end of abuse for the entire series, finally finds eternal happiness. This is if you disregard the sequel series.Example of:Throw the Dog a Bone"}
{"text": "BILLY MAYS \u2014 the only TV spokesman allowed tospeak in all caps.\"\u2014YouTubeCommenterTo read this page without the loud voice in your head, gohere.ARE YOU TIRED OF HAVING UNLIMITED BROWSING TIME? DOES HAVING ONLY TWO OR THREE TABS OPEN AT A TIME FRUSTRATE YOU? WELL I HAVE A SOLUTION.HI! BILLY MAYS (FROM THE AFTERLIFE) HERE WITH TVTROPES,THE QUICKEST WAY TO RUIN YOUR LIFE AND EAT UP ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME.BUT FIRST, A LITTLE ABOUT ME.I WAS BORN WILLIAM DARRELL MAYS JR., AND I WAS AN AMERICAN TELEVISION DIRECT-RESPONSE ADVERTISEMENT SALESPERSON MOST NOTABLE FOR PROMOTING FIX-IT, OXICLEAN, ORANGE GLO, KABOOM, ZORBEEZ, AND OTHER CLEANING, HOME-BASED, AND MAINTENANCE PRODUCTS ON THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK, AND THROUGH MY COMPANY, MAYS PROMOTIONS, INC. I HAD ALL THE POWER OF ALLCAPS WITHOUT THE DAMAGING SIDE-EFFECTS.IF THE WORLD OFINFOMERCIALSAND LATE NIGHT ADVERTISING CAN BE SAID TO HAVE STARS, I WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST.MY ADVERTISING STYLE IS LARGE, LOUD AND IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE, AND I WAS A FAMILIAR FACE AND VOICE TO ANYONE WHO WATCHED TV IN THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA, EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO BE.I ADVERTISED SEVERAL PRODUCTS, SUCH AS ZORBEEZ, OXICLEAN, KABOOM, ORANGE GLO, HERCULES HOOKS AND EVEN MORE, A $49.99 VALUE, YOURS FOR ONLY $19.99 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!CALL NOW, AND I'LL THROW IN A REALITY TV SERIES FOR FREE! THAT'S RIGHT, I'LL THROW IN A REALITY TELEVISION SHOW AT NO ADDITIONAL COST TO YOU! BEGINNING IN APRIL 2009 AND ALONGSIDE MY BEST FRIEND AND EQUALLY RECOGNIZABLE PITCHMAN ANTHONY \"SULLY\" SULLIVAN, I CO-HOST A REALITY SHOW ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL TITLEDPITCHMEN, WHICH SHOWS HOW MY COMPANY CHOOSES THE PRODUCTS WE PITCH AND HOW WE CREATE OUR ADS.NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE BASEBALL PLAYER WILLIE MAYS OR BANDLEADER-COMPOSER-ARRANGER BILLY MAY.HERE ARE SOME PRODUCTS I HAVE SOLD:Awesome AugerBig City SliderDing KingGrab-ItHercules HooksiCan Health InsuranceJupiter JackKaboom!Liquid DiamondMighty PuttyOxi CleanSamurai SharkSteam BuddyZorbeezTHE SECRET'S IN THE TVTROPES MARKUP WIKI TECHNOLOGY, WHICH DESCRIBES EXAMPLES THAT I PROVIDE!:ADAM WESTING: I SHOWED UP ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE TO JOKE ABOUT OXYCLEAN.ALLITERATIVE NAME/Rhymes on a Dime: NOTICE A PATTERN IN MY PRODUCTS UP THERE?AND ONLY NINETY-NINE CENTS: YOURS FOR ONLY $19.99.BERSERK BUTTON: DON'T EVER MENTION SHAM-WOW ORVINCE OFFERAROUND ME.Catchphrase:\"HI, BILLY MAYS HERE!\"\"BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!\"FLANDERIZATION:There was once a time when I did commercials at a normal volume.NOT ANYMORE.FULL-NAME BASIS: MY NAME ISBILLY MAYSGAG DUB:JABO0ODY DUBSPUT A NEW SPIN ON MY ADSAND IF YOU CLICK WITHIN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES, I'LL THROW IN A FREEYOUTUBE POOP. TRY THEBIG CITY TOILETTODAY!!INCOMING HAM:HI, BILLY MAYS HERE!LARGE HAM:BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!HAMMERSPACE: I ALWAYS CARRY AROUND THE PRODUCTS I ENDORSE, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE I COULD POSSIBLY CARRY THEM.LIMITED WARDROBE: BLUE SHIRT, TAN PANTS. ALWAYS.NO INDOOR VOICE:TOMEMETICLEVELS.However, on my showPitchmen, my voice is rather average behind the scenes.RIDICULOUSLY LOUD COMMERCIAL:CALL NOW, AND WE'LL TRIPLE THE OFFER!SELF-DEPRECATION:I DID ADS FOR DC SNOWBOARD AND ESPN 360 WHERE I POKED FUN AT MY OWN STYLE.IALSO ORDERED MCDONALD'S BREAKFAST ONCE.SHOUT-OUT: I SHOWED UP IN A SOUTH PARK EPISODE ABOUT DEAD CELEBRITIES ONCE.TAKE THAT!: I'M NOT A FAN OF THE SHAM-WOW GUY.HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!To order theBilly MaysTV Tropes page, call 1-800-555-5555. That's 1-800-555-5555. Don't delay, act now!"}
{"text": "CHISWICK! FRESH HORSES!!\"On a still day, how far away can one hear Brian Blessed?\"\u2014 Hugh Dennis,Mock the Week,(If This Is The Answer What Is The Question: \"85,000 miles\")\"HELLO, I'M BRIAN BLESSED! AND I'M DOING THIS WEEK'S BBC RADIO FOUR APPEAL ON BEHALF OF THE DEAF!!!!\"\u2014Dead Ringers\"DRIVE, MY HAWKMEN,DRIIVE!!\"\u2014PrototypeBrian Blessed Sat Nav.To protect your eyes, trythis pageinstead.Perhaps best known in America as Prince Vultan of the Hawkmen in theFlash Gordonmovie (\"GORDON'S ALIVE?!\" \"DIIIIIIIIIVVEEEEE!!\"), he is widely regarded as one of theLargest Hamsin existence. However, he is by nature a stage actor, and his hamming is by design, not by ineptitude or accident. As he has proven on (very) occasional films, he is actually capable of delivering a subtle and understated performance; he just usually doesn't bother (and he is quite aware of why people hire him). His crowning moment of hamness is theBlake's 7episode \"Cygnus Alpha\" in which just about every line he speaks could be replaced with \"Did somebody order aLARGE HAM?\". He keeps in shape by climbing up large mountains. About the only thing on Earth larger than BRIAN BLESSED is Mount Everest, which he has attempted to scale three times without quite reaching the summit each time. Indeed, he has a story about narrowly avoiding an avalanche on Everest which caused him to, quote, \"rage at the mountain\". Yes, BRAIN BLESSED bellowed Mt Everest itself into submission.He served up not one, buttwolarge portions inSpace: 1999; the first as Dr. Cabot Rowland in first season episode \"Death's Other Dominion\", the second as Maya's father Mentor in second season opener \"The Metamorph\". In real life his favorite food is cows, which he eats whole and in one gulp.Was also in the first season ofBlackadderas King Richard IV (\"Chiswick! Fresh horses!\"). Was far less hammy as the ghost in fellow large hamKenneth Branagh'sHamlet(he even managed towhisperloudly) and Signore Antonio in Branagh'sMuch Ado About Nothing (1993). Also, the Duke of Exeter in Branagh'sHenry V. (\"What treasure, Uncle?\" \"Tennis balls, my liege!\") Surprisingly, Keanu Reeves claimed in an interview on British radio that during filming ofMuch Ado About Nothing (1993), Blessed befriended him and taught him to meditate. Moviegoers who are sympathetic to Reeves might have thought it more likelyif it was the other way around. Blessed might just becalmer than he looks.IT IS SAID BY SOME THAT THE CHARACTER OF DESTRUCTION (A SENTIENT PERSONIFICATION OF DIFFICULT CHANGES WHO HAS QUIT HIS JOB TO BECOME AN ARTIST) FROMTHE SANDMANIS BASED ON HIM. SINCE AUTHORNEIL GAIMANIS ONE OF THE ONES WHO SAYS THIS, IT IS PERHAPS TRUE BUT NO LESS UNLIKELY.PLAYED HIS BEST AND HIS FAVOURITE ROLE AS THE SYMPATHETIC, TRAGICALLY NAIVE (YET STILL OCCASIONALLYBOMBASTIC) EMPEROR AUGUSTUS IN THE ACCLAIMED BRITISH MINI-SERIESI, CLAVDIVS. (\"IS THERE ANYONE IN ROME WHO HAS NOT SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER?!!!\")THIS ROMAN ROLE, AND SEEMINGLY HIS DELIVERY, WEREREFERENCEDWITH A CAMEO INGLADIATOR, IN WHICH - DESPITE APPEARING IN ONLY THREE FRAMES OF FILM - BLESSED'S CHARACTERISTIC ROAR CAN BE HEARD TO DEMAND 'KILL HIM!' CLEARLY ABOVE THE DIN OF THE CROWD.PLAYED HIS PART IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE BRITISH COP SHOW BY BEINGCOWBOY COP\"FANCY\" SMITH INZ CARS, THE VILLAIN IN THE FIRST EPISODE OFTHE SWEENEYAND A CORRUPT COP IN AN EPISODE OFMINDER.KNOWN TO BRITISH VIEWERS AS SPIRO IN THE 1987 VERSION OF THE TV SERIESMY FAMILY AND OTHER ANIMALS.OUTSIDE OF ACTING HE HAS MADE SEVERAL ATTEMPTS TO CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST, ALTHOUGH IT'S HARD TO SEE WHY - ALL HE REALLY NEEDS TO DO IS STAND NEXT TO IT (OR POSSIBLY GLARE FEROCIOUSLY UNTIL IT CROUCHES DOWN IN SUBMISSION).APPEARED INHave I Got News for You, IN ABIZARRE PERFORMANCEWHICH WAS POSSIBLY SO GOOD IT BROKE TIME, TWICE. WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE. (YOU CAN WATCH THE FULL EPISODESHEREandHERE)RECENTLY APPEARED INTHE WRONG DOORAS CAPTAIN GOLTIER THE TRAIN PIRATE.HE'S ALSO APPEARED INDISNEY'SANIMATED ADAPTATION OFTARZANAS CLAYTON, AND WENT ON TO REPEAT THE SAME ROLE INKingdom Hearts. HIS PERFORMANCE WAS STILL QUITE HAMLIKE. HE ALSO PROVIDED THE \"TARZAN YELL\" FOR THE FILM. HIS VOICE PERFORMANCE OF BOSS NASS (THE GUNGAN KING) INStar Wars:THE PHANTOM MENACEWAS EQUALLY OVER THE TOP AND POSSIBLY THE MOST FUN PERFORMANCE IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE. ADDITIONALLY, HE NARRATEDVIKING: BATTLE FOR ASGARDIN WHICH HIS NARRATION STOLE THE SHOW AND CATAPULTED SAID GAME INTO THE HALLS OF AWESOME!HE ALSO APPEARED IN ORIGINAL SERIESDOCTOR WHO: (\"TRIAL OF A TIME LORD: MINDWARP\") AND UTTERED THEIMMORTAL LINE: \"TODAY PRUDENCE SHALL BE OUR WATCHWORD. TOMORROW WE SHALL SOAK THE LAND IN BLOOD!\" HAMTASTIC! HE THEN ENDED UP EITHER MARRYING PERI OR KILLING HER, DEPENDING ON WHICH OF THEUNRELIABLE NARRATORSYOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE.HE HAD NO LINES IN THE ALMOST-DIALOGUE-FREE SHORT FILMEXAM CONDITIONS, AND STILL MANAGED TO BE THE LOUDEST PERSON IN THE FILM.HE WAS THE FIRST TO PLAY OLD DEUTERONOMY INCATS. HE WAS THE ONE WHO CAME OUT AFTER THE SHOW FINISHED TO TELL THE AUDIENCE THAT THERE WAS A BOMB ALERT.HE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO RAISE A SON WITH AN AMERICAN ACCENT INROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES, AND STILL WAS THE LOUDEST PERSON IN THE FILM, EVEN ON HIS CHARACTER'SLAST LINE: \"GOD!! AND KINNNG RICHAARRD!!! YAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!\"HE TAUGHTMACGYVERARCHAEOLOGY AS PART OF MAC'SEXPANSION PACK PASTAS SEEN IN THELOST TREASURE OF ATLANTISTELEMOVIE.HE HAS ALSO BEEN SIGHTED PRESENTINGUNBEATABLE BANZUKE, ENTHUSIASTICALLY, IN THE GUISE OF BANZUKE BRIAN ATTIRED IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE RED PLASTIC FAUX-SAMURAI ARMOUR SEVERAL SIZES TOO SMALL, ON THE UK'S CHALLENGE TELLY CHANNEL.HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FORM OFKNIGHT FEVERYET, POSSIBLY FOR FEARS HIS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH WOULD BURST EARDRUMS.WHEN NOT ACTIVELY BEING ALARGE HAM(OR SOMETIMES AT THE SAME TIME, ACTUALLY), BLESSED IS ALSO AN ARCHETYPALBOISTEROUS BRUISER.BEFORE BEING LOST IN A GENERAL REVAMP, HIS PAGE ON WIKIPEDIA DESCRIBED HIM AS \"HIGHLY CHARISMATIC\" IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH. APPARENTLY, THEIR STRICT NPOV POLICY HAS NO BEARING HERE: \"HE IS A HIGHLY CHARISMATIC MAN\" IS NOT SIMPLY AN OPINION, BUT AN OBJECTIVE STATEMENT OF FACT.EVEN WHEN PLAYING SANTA TO INTRODUCE THE MUSIC CHANNEL'S 'MAGIC'S CHRISTMAS TOP 50' HE MANAGES TO BE A WONDERFUL HO-HO-HAM.ALONG WITHDIANA RIGGANDJEREMY CLARKSON, HE'S FROM DONCASTER. THE FACT THAT DONCASTER IS NOW ALSO HOME TO AN EXTENSIVE SCHOOL AND COLLEGE FOR THE DEAF MAY NOT BE COINCIDENTAL.IN LATE 2009, BLESSED PLAYED A TIME-DISPLACED HENRY VIII IN THE SHORT INTERNET SERIESHENRY 8.0.POPE GREGORY'S BLOCKED ME ONTWITTER!I DON'T WANT A BLOODY RICE CAKE, THEY DON'T FILL ME UP!IT'S LIKE EATING CRUNCHY AIR!!!THE ANCIENT WELSH HAD A GOD BY THE NAME \"BRAN THE BLESSED.\"THIS IS NOT A COINCIDENCE!!!HAMLETTHINKS SO!AS SUCH, I WAS CAST AS ODIN IN THE UPCOMING FILM ADAPTATION OFTHE MIGHTY THOR,BUT THEN ANTHONY HOPKINS GOT THE PART INSTEAD.AFTER A CAMPAIGN BY FANS, TOM TOM HAVE AGREED TO OPEN NEGOTIATIONS WITH HIM TO RECORD A VOICE TRACK FOR THEIR SATNAV APPLIANCES IF THEY REACH 25,000 MEMBERS ONTHEIR FACEBOOK GROUP. A DEMO VIDEO STARRING BRIAN HIMSELF CAN BE FOUNDHEREONYOUTUBE!HE HAS FRONTED SPACE-ROCK BANDHawkwindas possibly the most apt guest vocalist possible in any phase of the Multiverse to voice their perfomance pieceSonic Attack,in which noise is mobilised to serve as a devastating weapon.HOPKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!...we told you. Now, unless you want to try reading thisagain...Alternative Title(s):Ptitleijqobqvle9an"}
{"text": "Gunnery SergeantR. Lee Ermey to you, maggot!I am Gunnery Sergeant Ermey, your Senior Trope Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be \"Sir\", do you tropers understand that?Sir, yes sir!Bullshit, I can't hear you, sound off like you've got a pair.SIR, YES SIR!I was born on March 24, 1944, towards the end of World War II\u2013and for those of you who thought it was easy to save the world back in 1918, World War I was just practice!\u2013and served in the United States Marine Corps as a drill instructor in 'Nam, which was just practice for yelling at you for being the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the Goddamned common courtesy to give him a reach-around! As an actor, I got my big break playing the type of character I was famous for being in real life, when you were just a glimmer in your mother's eye, inStanley Kubrick'sFull Metal Jacket. Compared to me, my character was a sadistic and foul-mouthed son-of-a-bitch whose training methods ended with one maggot driven insane and the son-of-a-bitch dead at the hands of the same fucking maggot! And in case you were wondering, many of my lines were unscripted, and you have Kubrick himself to thank for it\u2013especiallysince he doesn't normally allow his talent to improvise as though they were on theReduced Shakespearecomedy circuit!And thanks to my performance, I am now the poster child forDrill Sergeant Nasty\u2013and don't you fucking forget it, numbnuts!\u2013and landed myself roles in other movies, as well as a slew of voice-over work\u2013my distinct gruff voice makes me ideal for hardass military types, and don't you dare call me aRegular Army Clownfor it, I'm dead serious!\u2013and ultimately a hosting job for severalHistory Channelprograms about the military, includingMail CallandLock n' Load\u2013history programs as only a drill sergeant could do them. I was alsoHouse's father, an abusive ex-drill sergeant! I'll bet he could suck a golf ball through a garden hose while on the job!And in case you were wondering, maggot, I retired as aStaffSergeant. However, in 2002, I was given an honorary promotion post-retirement\u2013the first in Marine Corps history, mind you!\u2013to Gunnery Sergeant by order of the Commandant of the Marine Corps \"in recognition of [my] continuing support to Americans in military service, and of [my] service as an unofficial ambassador for the Marine Corps.\"I may have died on April 15, 2018 from complications from pneumonia, but that's no excuse! What part of \"once a Marine, always a Marine\" is not registering here? Even now, I'm still one of the baddest men to ever grace the silver screen, and don't you ever forget it!You got all that down? What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Did you not bring a pen, pencil or paper with you? Were you hoping you'd remember everything I've said up to this point? Well, I certainly hope your major malfunction isn't as a result of someone gouging out your eyeballs and skullfucking you in the brain, because you're going to need a very good brain, you twinkle-toed cocksucker!Preseeeent... TROPES! Associated with me!Adam Westing: Do you think I'm funny? How about when I parodied myself onSaving Silverman? Or that toned-down, yet still fucking nasty, portrait of the former drill sergeant as a therapist that I did for Geico?Ascended Extra: You may be too shitbrained to know this, but I wasn't Stanley Kubrick's first choice for the role of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman inFull Metal Jacket\u2013in fact, his reason for wanting me on board was accuracy advice. But then I did a demonstration on how to portray aDrill Sergeant Nasty, chewing out the camera for fifteen straight minutes, through a hail of tennis balls and fucking rotten oranges, never once moving, changing my expression, or repeating myself. I ended up getting the part by yelling at Kubrick, \"YOU STAND UP WHEN I TALK TO YOU!!!\" Kubrick\u2014a shitstain who'sused to getting his whims served up on a silver platter\u2014found himself doing so automatically, and the rest is history!Badass Biker: As I proved onLock n' Load, even on the back of my bike I'm damn good with guns, and you damn well had better remember it!Big Ol' EyebrowsCast the Expert: Like I said earlier, I was so fucking good at being aDrill Sergeant NastyI got my most famous film role by showing Stanley Kubrick how it's done and not letting either of my balls drop off even as I faced both Tennis Ball HellandRotten Orange Hell at the same fucking time! Even before I dealt with that limp-wristed sissymary, I was already using my military experience to perform in movies likeThe Boys in Company CandApocalypse Now.Defictionalization: 15 fucking years of awkwardness followed my iconic performance as a Gunnery Sergeant (E-7), because I had retired as a Staff Sergeant (E-6), and yet thanks to said iconic role people mistook me for an actual Gunnery Sergeant! Then the Marine Corps graciously promoted me to Gunnery Sergeant for my continued service promoting the Corps and its values. After I had already retired! That means they made me the first Marine in history to be promoted post-service!Because you're goddamn RIGHT they did!Determinator: I got knocked off the road once, but not out! I flashed my light for hours hoping someone would find me, and someone did!Drill Sergeant Nasty: I am the undisputed master of this type, and have even been typecast in such roles on film and television! And don't you fucking forget it, sweetheart, or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!Fountain of Expies: Like I said before, I amthewalking, talking example of what popular culture assumes aDrill Sergeant Nastyis! That's why lots of other TV shows and movies pattern their drill sergeant characters after me. I'll admit those writers and producers have good taste, butnobody, and I meannobody, can pull off the drill sergeant character as well as I do! You got that, numbnuts?!?Large Ham: What do you expect whenTypecastinglends to theDrill Sergeant Nastyrole nine times out of ten? You don't get good at that job by sitting back and being subtle, maggot! Think I'm kidding? Count the number of exclamation points on this page!Mean Character, Nice Actor: When I'm not in \"Marine Mode\", I'm just a big ol' teddy bear... Too bad all YOU pukes are gonna get IS the Marine! Now drop and give me twenty, maggot!No Indoor Voice: You think you can be one of the baddest men in all of cinema and be QUIET, maggot?! Of fucking course not!Semper Fi: Once a Marine, always a Marine, maggot! I cut my teeth in Vietnam, so I know what the fuck I'm talking about here! Hell, I was the first Marine in history to be promoted after retirement! (The only other such person you might know of is Captain Sir Thomas Moore from across the pond, promoted to Colonel on his 100th birthday for doing his part in the fight against COVID-19!) Do you know what kind of badass gets promoted after he leaves the job? Because I sure as shit do\u2014there's a damn good reason my ashes are buried at Arlington!Shout-Out:Full Metal Panic!, in addition to being named forFull Metal Jacket, includes an episode where the protagonist takes up aDrill Sergeant Nastypersona when coaching a rugby team; in the English version, he even does a spot-on impersonation\u2013minus the voice, of course\u2013that would've made me proud! He's no maggot, but I'll bet that chickenshit bleep censor operator had a good time trying to be funny by censoring his sailor mouth!Nyaruko: Crawling with Love!did the same, but adapted my words forMagical Girltraining! Just listen to this disgustingly sweet take on my words, and you maggots will not soon forget that every language, both literal (e.g. English and Japanese) and figurative (e.g. the language of love), has its own way of getting my message through to the local unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit!\"If you are able to overcome my intensive training, your entire demeanor will become that of aMagical Girl. You will become afriend to all,sprinkling loveand smileswith amagical stickin your hand. But until that day you are amob character. You are theleast important characterin the cast.\"[...]\"Do not speak unless spoken to! You will say 'hanyaan' at the beginnings and ends of the nonsense spewed from that bloody tongue!\"Is this aJapanese English phrase book\u25ca? Whatever it is, it features a cute Army girl whose dialogue consists of nothing but uncensoredFull Metal Jacketcharacter quotes. And I certainly hope her sister is older thanshelooks, let alone that she knows what the fuck she's saying!I rike you.Come ova to my house and fuck my shista.For more anime fun with me, check out those cut-away pictures of myFull Metal Jacketcharacter that appear inPani Poni Dash!! No detail spared! The animators are clearly qualified to draw my likeness, and I do not want you for even one miserable second to doubt it!The guys writingGreen Lanternhave even paid tribute to me with a Green Lantern Drill Instructor character who is me if I was any softer at my job!They even quote me inStarcraft\u2013bother the driver of theSiege Tankenough, and he'll ask,\"What is your major malfunction?\"Throw It In: I was actually lucky to be allowed to adlib a good portion of my lines inFull Metal Jacket, considering that Stanley Kubrick was behind the camera.I'LL BET YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO WOULD FUCK A PERSON IN THE ASSAND NOT EVEN HAVE THE GOD-DAMNED COMMON COURTESY TO GIVE HIM A REACH-AROUND!!At one point, though, we took a break so I could explain what a \"reach around\" was to Kubrick. He asked, I delivered, and he laughed his ass off! That's how that line got in the final cut!Trope Codifier: If there's aDrill Sergeant Nastycharacter in your work, numbnuts, and I'm not him, chances are he was inspired by me!Typecasting: If I'm not a Drill Instructor in a motion picture, it's Goddamned likely my character acts like one!Younger Than They Look: I was only 42 at the time I worked my military magic onFull Metal Jacket. 20 years and one Geico commercial later... I still look the fucking same, and don't you deny it, sweetheart!Next! List the tropes associated with my shows! Quickly!Bullet Time: What the fuck did you expect when you saw all those guns onLock n' Load?The Cameo: On the Artillery episode ofLock and Load, the hwacha, an ancient Korean multiple rocket launcher, is mentioned and shown being fired. It's the exact same one that theMythBustersBuild Team constructed, as shown by the mismatched wheels, but they don't deserve credit in my book, because they are pukes! They are the lowest life forms on Earth! They are not even human fucking beings\u2013they are unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit!Does Not Like Spam:InMail Call, I apparently make it fucking clear that watermelons are my \"sworn enemy\", and are good only for target practice, both thereandinLock n' Load. However, as I once said, some people think I don't like watermelons. Well, that's not true - I just believe you gotta kill it before you eat it. Honestly, I have nothing against watermelons! It's just that heads are so much more expensive. Of course, I did tell Private Snowball that he wouldn't like that (in addition to fried chicken) watermelon isn't served on a daily basis in my mess hall.I HATE Gumballs, they cause tooth decay!!Gumballs are good only for being shot up! I drove that point home with an uzi to several jars of them! Remember, kiddies: GUMBALLS ROT YOUR TEETH.Fourth-Wall Mail Slot: Yeah, I got one, numbnuts, and it's calledMail Call.Hand Cannon: There was oneLock and Loadepisode where I fired a .44 Magnum and got knocked down in the process. I'll admit that my Goddamned awkward crouched position that I was in didn't help my case, as it put me off balance and knocked me over. In another episode, I used a .44 Magnum in a test, despite that caliber not being around when the feature I was testing was invented.I used it just because I like it better, and don't you fucking forget it!More Dakka: Look,Lock And Loadis aboutfirearms. What the fuck do you expect? This isespeciallytrue when I do episodes on machine guns, including the one and only, genuine, original hand-cranked Gatling gun!Pin-Pulling Teeth: In one episode ofMail Call, I noted how doing this is a good way to lose your fucking teeth. Your teeth can't handle it? Don't use them to pull the pin unless you got a tooth that REALLY needs to be removed! But as I'm no dentist, I'm afraid I can't help you there, numbnuts!\"Semper Fi.\"(salutes)Carry on."}
{"text": "The name'sh Bond... Jamesh Bond.This is how the quote formatting is suppose to look: One indent, then dialog, then two indents, then the source. Don't mess with it.\"Shome people shay I can't help it,I ashure you thish ishn't the cashe.It'sh jusht that I feel,You get more out of life,When you follow your 's' with an 'h'!\"\u2014legolambs,Sean Connery: The MusicalNot sho much an actor ash a forshe of nature, Shir ThomashSean Connery(Augusht 25, 1930 \u2014 October 31, 2020) made hish career ash the firsht actor to playJamesh Bondon the big shcreen. A former body builder (back in the daysh when that meant 'big and athletic' rather than 'shteroid-fuelled and vein-covered') notable for hish impresshive body hair, effortlessh mashculinity and unique variation on the Schottish acshent, Connery'shsheksh-shymbolshtatush had proved shurprishingly durable deshpite the ravagesh of time, the early onshet of baldnessh (he wore a toupee to play Bond - and reputedly wanted to go without forNever Shay Never Again), and occashional pressh shtoriesh of mishogyny on hish part.Alsho played Henry Jonesh Shenior., fasher of Henry \"Indiana\" Jonesh Jr. inIndiana Jonesh and the Lasht Crushade.Shteven ShpielbergandGeorge Lucashhad wanted to outdo theJamesh Bondfilmsh; therefore, Jamesh Bond wash both metaphorically and literallyIndiana Jonesh'shfather. Clearly, Badassh ish genetic.After shtarring as Allan Quartermain in the shomewhat lacklushtreThe League of Ekshtraordinary Gentlemenmovie, Connery retired from acting. Shome shuggest that theshe factsh are related, that the film wash sho unredeemably awful that he jusht gave up. He hash shteadfashtly refushed to come out of retirement, including refushing a cameo inIndiana Jonesh and the Kingdom of the Cryshtal Shkull. However, he had returned to voishe the main character in the Shcottish animated filmShir BilliShizzle.The film'shshiteishere, and it looksh... well...Oh God. *shob*A major shupporter of Shcottish independenshe (though the fact that he hadn't actually lived there for 50 yearsh tendsh to undermine thish a little). Particularly famoush forNot Even Bothering With The Acshent. Of courshe, if you were him, you wouldn't bother either.Had a dishtinctive way of shpeaking that everyone on Earth believesh they can imitate (including the tropersh who wrote thish page), althoughEddie Izzhard(and reportedly Tony Curran) ish particularly good at it.Fun Fact:During the filming ofZhardozh, Connery found out that John Boorman paid a guy 5000 bucksh to be hish chauffeur. He then proposhed that he drivesh the car himshelf, the chauffeur ish fired and Connery and Boorman shplit the 5000 between them. That's jusht howcoolSean Connery ish.Funner Fact:During the filming ofAnother Time, Another Plashe(1958) gangshter Johnny Shtompanato shtormed the shet and threatened Connery with a gun, believing him to be having an affair with coshtar Lana Turner, Shtompanato's girlfriend. Sean Connery took hish gun from him and beat him up.That'shhow cool Sean Connery ish.Younger fansh may know him for being parodied onShaturday Night Live'sh Shelebrity Jeopardy recurring shketch, thanksh to long-time casht member Darrell Hammond, and ish conshidered a highlight to shaid recurring shketch (though in the earlier Shelebrity Jeopardy shketchesh, that honor went to Norm MacDonald ash Burt Reynoldsh).Also notable fortrying to shoot you in every video shtore in the world.AndYOU'RE THE MAN NOW, DOG.There ish even a webshite for thingsh Sean Connery should shay. Unfortunately, it no longer exishtsh. ThoughReddit'sh \"Shubreddit\" fitsh the bill. Shtill, you can alsho find the old webshitehere.Sean Connery ish also notable for the \"Rule of Sean Connery,\" shomething that he (and few other people) have been able to accomplish in their lifetimesh."}