(To better sound like aCage, this is best read with the voice ofLinden Ashby,Matt Mullins, Casper Van Dien,AndrewBowen,Joel McHale, orMario Castañedaif you speak Spanish.)Didn't know you were such a fan. It's the reason why you're here, right?You don't look like the average reporter or paparazzi hounding me. Don't feel too bad though. I've seen worse, too.I'm surprised that you decided to stop by my humble little page.Johnny Cage is my screen name. My real name is Jonathan Carlton.What, you didn't know? Oh, well. First time for everything, I suppose.I made my debut in1992, along with six other kombatants. And since then, none of us haven't looked back, none more so than me.When you think of Johnny Cage, what comes to mind? Hollywood A-lister with such films as theDragon Fistseries,Ninja Mimeand numerous sequels (even though I hate it, but it's a box office hit overseas),Time Smashers,Who's That?,The Gist Of My Fist, andEvery Dog Has It's Daycomes to mind.Or the fact that depending on which timeline you're referring, I'm either one of Raiden's chosen warriors or Raiden's champion. Yeah, it's weird as hell, but I managed to put the pieces together, with the first timeline being the First Run and the second timeline being the Second Run. Less confusing that way.So my main reasoning as to why I decided to sign on to Mortal Kombat was mainly in part due to my ego. I got tired of the critics and reporters claiming that my skills were nothing but wires and special effects. So I joined up...and the rest is history. No, really. If you wanna know what happened in the games, both the First and Second Run, in the words ofOddworld: Abe's Exoddus, "dish out some cash, and go buy the stinkin' game!"...or read a wiki page.Being an actor, it was no surprise that my exploitsmade it to the big screen. Hanzo's still kinda annoyed that I kicked his ass in that matchup. But punching Goro in the nuts was satisfying... even if it did hurt my hand.As for the sequel...let's not speak of that blasphemy. I got a better deal in some of theweb-basedseries though so it all works out. I mean even if not-Baraka sliced my head off in the former. I also signed on for one of thecartoons. Not that it was one of my best though - that would bethose adaptations of the games. Still wonder they didn't call me even once forDefenders of the Realm.And why I've been reduced to aSequel Hookinthe latest movie! Who cares about this Cole guy anyway, that follow-up can't come out soon enough!It really blows I missedthat throwdown with those superheroesthough I get to punch aclown right in the happy sacklater on down the linethough so it's all good.Still here? Read on and see how I became the man that I am today.Action Dad: Cassandra Cage is my little warrior princess and I can't be any more proud of her.Amazon Chaser: A woman who's easy on the eyes? Check. A woman who can hold her own in the ring? Beat still, my heart. A woman who can kick my ass? Lady, here I come (no innuendo intended, boys and girls).Amicable Exes: It was one-sided between Sonya and me, with Yours Truly being the amicable one. Took being kidnapped by Shinnok and Cassie kicking his ass to finally get her to warm up to me.Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy: Yeah, yeah. I admit that my charming personality runs plenty of people the wrong way, but given that I'm Raiden's chosen dude, it's totally justified.Ascended Extra: Before Raiden resettled the timeline, I was part of the supporting cast. Kang was the golden boy, the point man, the star of the show. That all changedwhen Sindel came calling and Raiden accidentally fried his champion. Now, I got the job of being Raiden's golden boy. But sometimes, the price for such fame can be very high.Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: Sonya may deny it, but I know why she made me a God in her most recent ending. One: because Cassie insisted. Two: because Sonya missed me. If only a little. And sorry, babe, I know everything.Back from the Dead: By my count, I died at least three times. Top that,Sean Bean. Not to say that I had a couple of close calls. But I also refuse to die in my movies. If there's a hint of me biting it in the script, the writer must be high.Badass Boast: Before I gave Kano a punch down under, he assumed that I was all wire work and special effects. The truth is that Iamthe special effects.Badass in a Nice Suit: Given the chance, I can rock a mean tuxedo. Hell,I parachuted onto Shang Tsung's Island in oneand I spent most of the first tournament in one.Badass in Distress: Usually, I'm the one pulling off theBig Damn Heroesschtick in my films and on occasion, in real life.When Shinnok was freed, I was the one who needed rescuing from Ol' Fishface and the Revenants.Badass Normal: Wanna know how I can hang in a tournament with ninjas, commandos, sorcerers, gods and wannabe conquerors?Found out from Raiden that I got a warrior bloodline. I'm descended from a Mediterranean warrior cult that bred fighters for the gods.That explains the Glowand how I was able to tank Shinnok's best attacks.Berserk Button: I got several.Rip on my film career? I'll just kick your ass.Mess up my face? Now I'm not holding back.Kill my best friend and ruin my pair of $500 sunglasses? You're dead.Threaten Sonyaand/orCassie? Oh, do I have something bad planned for you…Hell, evenIcan push 'em myself. Like the time I ruined my younger self's pair of $500 sunglasses so he'dhavetogive me a chance toknock some sense into him.Beware the Silly Ones: Don't let my laid back personality fool you.I can get down and dirty with the best of them.And as mentioned above, you threaten anyone I care about,then I'll bust out the Glowand get medieval on your ass.Bodyguarding a Badass: Not me, obviously, but in those ol'Malibu rags(hey, remember them?) I sent my ol' pal Bo to give my new pal Kang some backup. Liuie didn't really need it but it's the thought that counts, ya know?Box Office Bomb: My film debut,Ninja Mime.Not my best work, yetthe French filmgoers love itto the point that I'm still making sequels decades later. Europeans are weird. Also, best not mention it to Cyrax. The guy says I owe him eight bucks for it. He's a cyborg so how…?Bragging Theme Tune: Ever heard of "Prepare Yourself?" It's from the oldMKmusic album and if you ever want a musical biography and a tell-all on how great I am, give it a listen, you'll be amazed. Lemme hear it:JOHNNY CAGE IS NOT AFRAID TO DIE!The Casanova: I've had my fair share of conquered female hearts along the way, including GI Sonya, but that one was for real. My Aussie friend doesn't believe I'm not paying ladies to be with me, but hey, maybe he's projecting his own issues onto me.Casanova Wannabe: My bad luck with women only extends to those who I fight and I hold no hard feelings. They can always change their mind.The Champion: I ended up with the job after Kang bought the farm.Character Development: I'm loyal to my friends despite acting like a total goof and act asthe conscienceto Raiden and his team. And as Cassie can tell you,I was a great fatherand mentor to her and the rest of the Kombat Kids.But I didn't get there by taking the easy road.My younger selfhad to find this out the hard way. After nearly losing everything after beating Shinnok, Young Me cleaned up his act and through the hardships, became the man I knew I can be.The Charmer: It's why Sonya keeps me around…even though she doesn't admit it. I did kept her from going off the handle on Kotal when we were looking for Cassie and Jacqui.Chronically Killed Actor: Putting aside what kinda game series this is…back in the old timeline my film companies liked doing movies about me dying over and over again. Actually it's why I jumped in on the fight with theGruesome Twosomeway back when.Combat Pragmatist: The bad guys don't fight fair, so why should I? Fighting dirty is a Cage specialty.Cool Shades: My most prized possession are my sunglasses. And at $500 a pair, they're not cheap.Cool Teacher: Team S-F was my brainchild and I'm actually not half bad at teaching. Go me.Deadpan Snarker: Wouldn't be me if I couldn't bring the snark. And I still got it.Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: I think you mean Did I Just Kicked An Elder God's Ass? I consider that to be my finest hour. And if his family's got a problem with it, I'll take them down too.Dude, Where's My Respect?: For the love of the Elder Gods… is itthathard to believe that I brought the pain to Shinnok?!Embarrassing Nickname: WHAT?! YOU TALKED TO MY MOM ABOUT THAT?! Do NOT call me "Johnny Pee-Pants"! I hadoneaccident! ONE!Empowered Badass Normal: Thanks to my badass Glow that some cultists gave me, not even powered bad guys are safe from Yours Truly!Fighting Clown: Clown? I resent that, I'm a thespian. Sure, I played Ninja Mime and all, but having fun while fighting doesn't make me a clown. I like to goof off, that's all.The Fighting Narcissist: Arrogant? Yes. But I can back it up. And despite that, I'm quite possibly the most selfless hero Raiden has on payroll.Flipping the Bird: I give ol' Boonie a bird when my Deadly Uppercut just won't work right in11, I give you one when you contemplate my extensive buckle collection, let's just say YOU get a finger and YOU get a finger!The Friend Nobody Likes: Yeah, I'll admit I was quite a jackass back in my younger days, made more enemies than friends along the way… but now I'm one of the most lovable people in the Earthrealm. Just ask Cassie and her friends.Germans Love David Hasselhoff: I think this is one of thoseIn-Universethings. Don't ask me why, but the French absolutely love myNinja Mimeseries. I don't quite understand why, but if they're that willing to pay to enjoy my greatness, who am I to deny them?Good Parents: Yeah I can be a womanizing dickhead and a moron-and-a-half who just doesn't wanna read the room, but goddammit I'm gonna say it real proud, I love my precious lil' girl, Cassie.And don't you fuckin' forget it.Groin Attack: Forget about a gentleman's code in the real battle, you're not earning any honor points there. If you wanna really take someone out, you gotta crack some family jewels… or hurt a lady in tender places. Trust me, this little trick saved my hide countless times.Yep, I also get my boys kicked real hard. Especially inScorpion's own movie- wait, Scorpion has his own movie now?! And yeah,Bugsy joins in on the funin the sequel.Guest Fighter: Ever playWWE Immortals? It's a mobile game the Netherrealm boys made. Which means I showed up in that. Be honest, you got a kick out of me punchin'John Cenain the corporate grapefruits, didn't ya?Guile Hero: I'm not just good looks and raw charisma, despite the appearances. Behind this handsome face lies a cunning brain. Had to use to beat Goro that one time. Luring him to a cliff and knocking his four-armed ass off of it? Brilliant.Has a Type: Got a thing for blondes since Suzie Denardo back in junior year. Also got a thing for Edenians, as I once dated a woman who looked just like Jade.Hidden Depths: Hey, look at that, the clown uses his brain on occasion, what a shock!I may have a bigass ego, but I'm capable of bein' all nice and humble when it's needed. Certainly didn't have a problem with Jax rearranging my face down in the Armory. I did pick on him about Sonya after all.My film career's given me enough business savvy to make the right calls and offers on occasion. Now if only people would bite…Oh, and Shang Tsung actually got a firsthand taste of Cage philosophy with this line:Me in11:Every mandies, but not every man reallylives.Heel Realization: Believe it or not,that me from the Malibu pagesnearly went down the wrong path. Long story short, magic book thing that gave you shittons of power if you solved all its riddles. Me/Other me was this close to solving the last riddle 'til that Raiden told me I'd be as fake as shit as my haters said if I did. So I tossed it aside. I mean, that unvierse's Goro got the power anyhow.I Hate Past Me: Yeah, I'll be frank. I was a total ***ing asswipe in my prime. I blame my dad for putting ideas in my head. So when he/I got the bright idea to loudly announce to the whole damn world that he/I was gonna "tap" past!Sonya at the wrong goddamn time, I took him/me out back and beat some good hard manners into him/myself.Lady Killer In Love: Sonya and I have literally gone to hell and back and traded blood, sweat and tears defending Earthrealm. Never lost an eye for beauty, but as I told my lesser experienced self, Sonya's the "real deal".Large Ham: I'm an actor, I act with emotion and sometimes these emotions just burst out of me in a grand display of showboating. That's why I mostly play action heroes, subtlety isn't my style.Let's Get Dangerous!: Yeah, I know when to take the kid gloves off and actually take things serious. Look at Shinnok and you know not to make me mad.Los Angeles: Venice Beach is where I was born and raised.The Merch: There's been action figures of me in the past. Still hot sellers too. Kids, collectors, its all money in the bank. Except my daughter's. That's staying right in the Cage house.Mr. Fanservice: Ladies can't get enough of this perfectly sculpted body, this disarming smile and this silky-smooth voice.The Nicknamer: I like nicknames, they're funny. I think my magnum opus is "Grandmaster Blueberry Ice" for my black-and-blue Chinese assassin buddy! Apparently I hear he's only okay withmecalling him that and notCaptain Clown.Off with His Head!: Best of the best next to ol' Subby, baby! One punch and off goes your noggin! And another and another if I'm feelin' wacky! Don't ask.Sadly, the intro to the reboot proved turnabout's fair play. First thing you see is my sliced-off top. Yick.Older Than They Look: Let's see… I was 29 when I first got the invite to Shang Tsung's island. Add on the 25 years and you get 54. By the time Kronika pulled off her Timequake, I was 56. I age like wine.O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Yeah, I take some people about as seriously as I always do, which is…not at all. Until you go planning to do nasty shit to my loved ones. Here's a free tip:Don't.Our Ancestors Are Superheroes: Turns out my ancestors were superhuman warriors, bred as champions for the Gods. Explains the Glow, don't it?Papa Wolf: Don't mess with my daughter. You'll regret that life choice. And don't mess with Jacqui either. She may not be blood-related, but she is my goddaughter. Plus Jax is gonna come fists blazing if something happens to her, so better you get your ass handed to you by me than him.Person as Verb: Hey, Iinventedthe use of "Cage" as a verb, bucko! Don't worry, your continued adoration is my royalties.Plucky Comic Relief: What I'm good at. Of course, a comedic character can also be a hero, so I'm fine with that.Pop-Cultured Badass: I'm a major cinephile, so in addition to starring in movies, I watch some where I'm not featured. What? It's not like I'm contractually forbidden to watch 'em. Besides, I can always use a good quote to insult some jerk.They complete me.Power Incontinence:Remember my warrior bloodline? Apparently, my powers went a…tad bit nutsand caused a bit of property damage. Raiden and Nightwolf shipped me off to Seido in order to better control my powers.The Power of Love: Raiden theorized that I can only usethe Glowwhenever a loved one is threatened. Pretty much confirmed whenCassie kicked Shinnok's face in.Produce Pelting: My not-so-loving fans put me on the wrong end of this in myMK4ending way back when. And yes that includes you, Arnold, don't you go denying it now you oversized ham hock! Then myamateur puppetry showin11got me a tomato-shower. I mean they all miss but my poor puppet always gets a faceful.Reasonable Authority Figure: Would you rather deal with me or General Hardass? Thought so.Roaring Rampage of Revenge: What happened when Young Asswipe Me got a scar on his face from a Black Dragon bullet whizzing by? That. It didn't take but I guess it's something.Sharp-Dressed Man: You bet your sweet ass I am! Mostly in4andDeadly Alliance, where I can ditch the classic tights for a crisp-as-all-hell tuxedo. I mean I got a nice suit in the reboot, but I left the tie undone and the shirt unbuttoned! Man, how little time did I have to get ready? Ugh!Shotoclone: Is that what they call my bag of tricks? Anyway yeah, you got the classic Shadow Balls (in arcing AND straight-on flavors),the ol' Johnny Uppercutand the patented Shadow Kick™for mobility specials with feet.Silver Fox: I may be in my mid-50s, but you can bet your ass I'm still pretty good-looking!Situational Damage Attack: So here's the thing; that famous Nutcracker of mine? I used to never use it on ladies since I thought there'd be nothin' there for the move to get mileage out of. Of course, by later outings, it's, regrettably, no holds barred.Snark-to-Snark Combat: Now you know where Cassie gets it from. And apparently, I've been rubbing off on Sonya since she can snark just as good as me. Between you and me, I may vomit with pride.Spanner in the Works: Old Boneface certainly didn't expect me to whip his behind that time.That's why next time he escaped from his luxury suite amulet, he made sure I was taken out by a bug lady. Ewww, my skin crawls when I think of all these maggots eating my face.Stronger with Age: Even Young Me admits that I'm a tough little bastard.Sunglasses at Night: I don't let nighttime keep my $500 babies in my pocket, no sirrie! I mean I did used to have them off in earlier games, but not later on. And by the way, I don't bump into shit when I wear 'em.Tall, Dark, and Handsome: It's nerve-wracking being an Adonis. Six-foot-one, two hundred pounds of American badassery.Team Dad: I'm a lot more flexible than Sonya. It's one of the main reasons why Cassie's team respects me.Thou Shalt Not Kill: I'd rather not take a guy out if I can help it. War's war and all but there's a difference between Shang telling me to kill a helpless Reptile at the tourney and the shit goin' on with Shinnok.Took a Level in Kindness: After decades of inter-realm intrigue, you can bet that it's changed me for the better.The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: That's right. A couple of guys that host ashow like Mortal Kombatput yours truly up against somefamous zero-g racerjust because I was gonna play him in an upcoming flick.Sadly, I joined the count of deaths because of him.Vitriolic Best Buds: Even though the big man won't admit it easily, Jax considers me a good friend, despite beating the crap out of me a few times. It's how bromance happens. In fact, if life was a buddy cop movie, I'd definitely pick him as my partner.Working with the Ex: Can't really avoid Sonya, y'know, her being the General of S-F and a fellow chosen warrior. But when it comes down to it, there's no one I'd trust to watch my back than her.You Called Me "X"; It Must Be Serious: Speaking of Sonya,she still carries a torch for me whenever she calls me "Johnny". She can deny it, but the romance is still there.


Be warned that beyond this junction, unmarked spoilers aboutthe interactive chroniclesthat I am the eponymous individual of will be visible for all to witness"We are Gods...darkGods. Andit is our dutytothinthe herd.""Vae Victus!"— My battle cry, translated as "woe to the conquered".(To immerse yourself fully in the prose of this biography, read this in the voice of oneSimon Templeman).My tale...where shall I begin?The origins of my story do not begin with my birth, for the hands of the fates have woven my lifespan and my destiny into the tapestry that is our reality to the point where although my life began during my birth, the world had already been shaped to accommodate for my presence in the past, the present, and in the times yet to come.My name is Kain, as you may have surmised from reading this so far. At the very beginning, I was but a petty nobleman, the youngest of my siblings, and unlikely to amount to anything in my life as a mortal. I took it upon myself to travel the land of Nosgoth, but they were cut short after I had been accosted and slaughtered like livestock in preparation for a meal. In the afterlife, I didn't care for where I ended up - I only sustained myself through hunger for vengeance on those that had robbed me of my life so early.It was here where I first met Mortanius, a Necromancer — but more importantly, he was a member of the Circle of Nine, a gathering of sorcerers and mages who sustained the realm of Nosgoth through nine dominions;Mind,States,Dimension,Nature,Energy,War,Time,Death, andBalance, each represented by a pillar, with all nine of them being known as "the Pillars of Nosgoth". Mortanius offered me a chance to take vengeance on those who had engineered my end, and I accepted with little hesitation - but for my eagerness, I did not consider the consequence of my decision. As such, Mortanius resurrected me - but rather than return to my original mortal self, he had brought me back from the brink of oblivion as avampire.After slaughtering my assassins, I quickly turned towards my next problem - my new existence as a vampire. I set out towards the Pillars of Nosgoth, the nine structures sustained by the aforementioned Circle of Nine, in order to seek answers on how to return to my normal self. But when I arrived, I encountered the ghost of the previous Guardian of Balance, Ariel, who had been killed three decades before my resurrection. Her body had been discovered by Nupraptor, the Guardian Mind and her lover. Nupraptor deduces that she could have only been killed by a member of the Circle of Nine, but unable to deduce which member was the one with Ariel's blood on their hands,he sent a wave of psychic energy out of grief and rage, intended to drive the members of the Circle to insanity. Because the Circle'swell-being was linked to the land, Nosgoth began decaying as each member was driven to the brink of madness.Of course,I had no concern for this - my motive was purely to seek a cure for myself, which Ariel and Mortanius claimed would find its way to me once I had slain every member of the Circle. And so, I went after each and every one of them. Starting with Nupraptor, and eventually making my way to Azimuth the Planer, I had slaughtered four of the nine guardians, with the fifth, Anarcrothe the Alchemist,fleeing in a cowardly haste, while the sixth, the Sarafan warrior Malek, wound up killed by the vampireVorador. Vorador had shown me the excesses and benefits that came with the existence of being a vampire, and who had begun to fuel hedonistic temptations within me. My pursuit for a cure became less and less of a concern, with the hunger for blood and the desire to slaughter becoming my main motivation.Nevertheless, all good things must come to an end. The land of Nosgoth was being threatened by the legions from the north, led bythe Nemesis, formerly known as William the Just. After amassing an army with the help of King Ottmar, the ruler of Willendorf, we engaged in an epic and sprawling battle against the enemy horde - but it was too little, too late. The army was decimated by the legions of the Nemesis, leaving Nosgoth now at the mercy of the tyrant and his thrall. With no option left, I used atime-streaming device to travel half a century back in time, and confronted William the Just before he became the Nemesis. It was here where I first learned of how the course of history can be altered - William and I both wielded the same blade,the Soul Reaver, but from different periods in time. By crossing both versions of the sword, aparadoxwas created in which the flow of history could be altered, and it was here where I slayed William the Just. And though I did not know it yet, the Soul Reaver would become a salient part of my future, and of my later attempts to perverse the course of history.Traveling forward in time, it seemed as if Nosgoth had been restored, free of the Nemesis' threat. But to my horror, I discovered that my actions in the past had created a worse future for myself than I had imagined - the vampiric race had been hunted to extinction, with William being used as a martyr for the vampire-hunting crusades of old to resume. I arrived just in time to watchVorador meet his fate at the guillotine,leaving me as the last vampire in Nosgoth. As the mob of vampire hunters turned on me, I realized that the leader of this crusade, the Oracle of Nosgoth that had previously assisted me in first meeting Vorador, was in fact a member of the Circle of Nine - the Guardian of Time, Moebius the Timestreamer.He had gone back in time and fueled William the Just's insecurities so that he may become the Nemesis, orchestrated his invasion of Nosgoth, and the ensuing confrontation between me and William,in a bid for Moebius to either wipe out the vampire race, or get rid of me and end the threat to his life. While I still managed to defeat Moebius, the damage had been done. I was the last vampire in Nosgoth, and the sole survivor of the ancient race.I was then summoned to the Pillars by Mortanius, and witnessed a confrontation between him and Anarcrothe, where I learned thatMortanius had been the one who sent the assassins after me in the first place. He had seen the Circle's decay first-hand, and came to the conclusion that new Guardians needed to take their place. After doing me the favor of killing Anarcrothe himself, I confronted him and swore to bring my wrath upon him,which he accepted- but what came next, I had not been prepared for. The Dark Entity, a being of indeterminate origin, has been possessing Mortanius, and had been the one who had killed Ariel in the first place, orchestrating the demise of the Circle. While I did vanquish him for the time being, our destinies would intersect in our futures, though I did not know it at the time.After defeating the Dark Entity,I was left with the revelationthatI was the final Guardian of the Pillars- the Scion of Balance. In order to restore Nosgoth, I would need togive my own life up- in a roundabout way,"curing" me of my vampiric disease. But had I chosen the sacrifice, the entire vampiric race would've been lost to the annals of the past. So I refused it, and let the Pillars decay even further. The decision to reject the sacrifice would be the foundation upon which I would build my vampiric empire, and I would later resurrect six of the ancient Sarafan priests to serve me at my behest.My reign lasted for a millennium and a half, and during this time, I had discovered the secret chambers that were used by Moebius to manipulate history. While viewing the timestream in the Chronoplast, I witnessed visions and apparitions of future events to come, and was granted with all manner of revelations. Namely, my first-born "son",Raziel, was destined to become trapped within the Soul Reaver, that the Pillars needed to be maintained in order to keep the race of the Dark Entity, the Hylden, imprisoned in the Demon Realm, and that Ariel's death had been orchestrated to happen directly before my moment of birth, thus damning me to a lifetime of insanity. Sacrificing my life would havechanged nothing, as the Pillars were meant to be maintained by vampires, and the extinction of the vampiric race - as well as the death of the last Guardian of the Pillars - would've resulted in the Hylden being released. However, should I have chosen to refuse the sacrifice, I would have damned Nosgoth to an eternity of decay. To say that the odds of the game were not in my favor would be understating the situation; most outcomes would result in some form of defeat for me.All I could do was bide my time. I stared into the Chronoplast for centuries, looking at the individual threads that were possibilities of the future. Raziel became the key to my success; if he wielded the Soul Reaver, which housed his future soul, he would become a walking paradox that would be the key to unraveling the nigh impossible odds I have been facing until then. And so, disguising my true motivations as mere jealousy, I cast Raziel into the abyss, damning him to an eternity of suffering and torment. From there, I waited until the day he would return, all while putting in place the final preparations of my gamble. My empire crumbled around me as the land fell further into decay, and as the rest of my children evolved into grotesque abominations.Eventually,Raziel returned, now disfigured, mutated, and fueled by self-righteous rage and a lust for vengeance. We clashed, and while Raziel was no match for me, that had always been part of my plan. I brought the Soul Reaver upon Raziel, and due to the Reaver's nature as being Raziel's future prison, the Reaver instead shattered upon making contact with him. Raziel absorbed what was left of it, and his place in my game had finally been cemented - now, destiny was but a malleable object that did not hold him subservient to the whims of fate. After watching him slaughter his brothers, we reunited at Moebius' time chambers, where after another confrontation in which Raziel revealed to me that he was now aware of his origins as a Sarafan warrior, I fled into the past of Nosgoth, knowing Raziel would follow me.Now, my plan rests in the hands of Raziel, and in order to restore Nosgoth and the vampire race, while keeping the Hylden at bay, I must guide Raziel with benevolence not shown to him by his other benefactors, one of whom appears to be my old foe, Moebius the Timestreamer, still as manipulative yet pathetic as ever. Raziel seeks his own answers, plundering and pillaging ancient temples and ruins containing some of the land's most well-kept secrets, with his answer and motivations still undetermined to him. I must continue playing the waiting game, so that once the fateful moment approaches, I will be present in the right location at the right time to change the land of Nosgoth, for better or worse."But suppose you throw a coin enough times - supposed one day, it lands on its edge."Fate promises more tropes, before this drama unfolds...completely:A Lighter Shade of Black: If I had been present in any other fable or myth, it would be remiss of you to assume that I would occupy a heroic position - but in Nosgoth, I instead play the part of a lesser and more benign evil when confronting the dark and manipulative forces of my world.Anti-Hero: I am no paragon of virtue, yet some of my objectives would be considered desirable by those nobler than I.Battle Cry: "Vae Victus" - woe to the conquered.Even Evil Has Loved Ones:While Raziel's fate of being imprisoned in the Soul Reaver is the fulcrum of my centuries of planning, I would choose another way to spare him from his fate. And despite what he may think, I never threw him into the Abyss out of jealousy.Even Evil Has Standards: I may be cruel, but I am not without some modicum of morals:I have no tolerance for hypocrisy and moral posturing - my interactions with Raziel in the past of Nosgoth have made this clear enough.I have nothing but disgust for Elzevir the Dollmaker,whatever he was.While my bloodlust was absolute during my early days as a vampire, witnessing what torturous horrors the insane members of the Circle had inflicted upon normal humans left me no choice but to grant thema final mercy.After learning that my former subordinate Magnus had remained loyal to me in spite of all the torturous horrors inflicted upon him by the Wardens of his prison I granted him amerciful end to his nightmare.From Nobody to Nightmare: As a human, I was the youngest in a family of nobles, destined for nothing greater than a life of hedonism and self-pleasure. As a vampire, I have become feared by humans, and a foe of those who try to shape destiny for their own benefit.Guest Fighter: Raziel and I once found ourselvesinside a temple from within another realm. But I seldom make appearances in realities that aren't my own, though it seems as if my devotees have asked for me toconfront warriorsfrom other realitieson several occasions.It's All About Me: I may be working to restore Nosgoth, but I have never fully shed my self-interest and selfish motivations - once I restore Nosgoth, I intend to rule it as before.Legendary in the Sequel: My exploits and the trail of blood left behind by them made me the subject of tales and legends in the future by the vampires spawned from me and my brethren.Noble Demon: My sense of honor, morality, and personal limitations may seem odd to most of you, but make no mistake - at least Ihaveone, unlike my foes.Our Vampires Are Different: It has come to my attention that the portrayal of the vampiric race varies in your fictional tales and stories. Some depictions have gained my interest, and I wonder if some of these are where our species' cycle of evolution is poised to progress towards.Put the "Laughter" in "Slaughter": Make no mistake - I enjoy bloodshed and combat, which my mannerisms and habits make all the more obvious to those I am engaged in combat with.Right for the Wrong Reasons: The inceptive decision I made to refuse the sacrifice was done purely out of selfishness and self-interest - but as it was revealed to me, it was the preferable recourse in the grand scheme of things.Sociopathic Hero: I have no fear of bloodying my claws should the time arises, though in my elder age, my desire for bloodshed has decreased substantially - in my younger days as a vampire, I held no care for one's innocence or not, for I would have gladly slaughtered them for their blood.Take a Third Option: My entire plan from after I refused the sacrifice was to find a way to restore Nosgoth without sacrificing myself, while also ruling over it and keeping opponents such as the Hylden from conquering it for themselves.Vampire Monarch: The path I chose for myself once I had refused the sacrifice.Villains Never Lie: Would I give you half-truths and metaphorically correct answers should you ask me for them? Yes. But would I ever lie to your face? Never. I am truthful - a mercy you will not find from those who oppose me.Was Once a Man: Though my subjects worship me as a deity among vampires, the simple truth is that I too was a mortal.


I can't stop laughing!"Oooooh, new victims! Come over, come over, don't be shy, form an orderly line, I'll be happy to kill you all in good...eh? What? You're here looking for information onme? I'm flattered! I like you.I think I'llkill you last. Maybe. We'll see how I feel later, I might change my mind. Perhaps you even want to join my cult and worship me? If so, you may yet live; the Fanatics' Tower is that way. Huh? Oh, right, tropes.I amKefka Palazzo, my friends call me Kefka. When they aren't just shrieking in agony, that is, which is how most of my friends end up reacting to my presence. Well, Icallthem friends - a more correct term might be "playthings". But I digress. I am a character from theFinal Fantasyfranchise, specificallyFinal Fantasy VI. In that world, I was court mage toEmperor Gestahlofthe Gestahlian Empire, which by the way, not a very inventive name is it? I thought so too, if you're going to rule the world you need a bit more imagination, which is whyI booted that old geezer to his deathand decided to make my own claim for power. Empires areboringthough,sitting on thronesordering people around, where's the fun in that?So, I decided tobecome a godand use my new powersto rip the world apart. Sure, everyone else was caught in despair or dead, but frankly I think the planet needed that makeover, not enough death and chaos. Trust me, I fixed that, alotof people died! After that I picked up philosophy as a hobby and pontificated thusly:If death and destruction are inevitable, then creating stuff and living is honestly just pointless fluff that we delude ourselves with... So I spent the next year or so dedicating my life toprecision nuking anything and everything that seemed to make people feel compelled to cling to lifefrom atop my tower with myLight of Judgment. You know, so they could come to the same realization as I had and justkill themselves already!And that's when I didn't just fry the humans themselves with the Light just for the heck of it, it's not like I need a reason to kill people.Its like killing ants with a magnifying glass, excepttheseants scream when they die.Muchmore satisfying.But those pesky heroes had to band together and take me down. They sound like self-help booklets, but... okay, fighting them was alotof fun, I enjoyed it immensely, but they killed me! ME!! Poor little me died and my fun came to an end. I went down fighting, let me tell you, and Itook the source of all magic in the worldwith me when I went, so even if they won, it was aBittersweet Ending... plus, it's not like they won't all die sooner or later anyway, with or without my involvement...So anyway, I was dead, but oh, in your world, I am not forgotten! Why do you think I have this page, because I wanted my name on the page lists? No, I got my own page because some fans and critics consider me to be one of the greatest video game villains of all time! Now, if I am to be honest with you, I'm notquiteas famous asthat long-haired pretty boy in the black coat. There's no accounting for taste, I suppose. But I'm not jealous, why would I be? If you need a reminder of what I eventually do to chump posers who think I'm going to play second banana to them, just ask Emperor Gestahl...Aside from my original game, I've appeared in thatDissidia Final Fantasyspin-off and thearcade rebootof it. I also appeared in therhythm gamespin-off of those titles.Final Fantasy Brave Exvius,Dissidia Final Fantasy: Opera Omnia, andFinal Fantasy Record Keepermade me a playable character, too. One of my personal favorites, though, isFinal Fantasy XIV, I got to appear in the Sigmascape as aBonus Boss. At last you can behold all my Godly glory in full HD, and they let me bring my "Tower of the Gods" with me for some backup. I've never looked better!Below are some tropes I collected to show off my accomplishments. Now buzz off, I decided killing you is too boring, I'll let you get a head start, you've got one minute. Sixty...fifty-nine...fifty-eight.Oh, and before you view me with a variable voice or as some sort of mute, remember the two who have done my Japanese and English voice respectively...Shigeru ChibaandDave Wittenberg. Those two have done well to portray me inDissidiaI may say. I also must condone my fanJosh Scorcherfor his take on my Gleeful Madness.I could spend hours going on about how great I am, but that's time I could be using to destroy things, so just read these instead.Alas, Poor Villain: InDissidiathe first. I couldn't fill my empty hear with hopes, dreams or happiness, so I tried to fill it with destruction, but it was never enough. I diedCry Laughing... Little Terra promised to never let my suffering happen again. I'm almost touched...The Bad Guy Wins: It's one of my many claims to fame, thank you. I actuallydidwin, for a while — the heroes were scattered and demoralized, the world was in tatters with civilization struggling to live on, and I reigned from on-high as a god burning the survivors of the apocalypse as I chose. It took a whole year before the heroes got the courage to band together and take me down, during which I was on top of the world.Beware the Silly Ones: I'm laughing, I'm giggling, I'm bouncing around making jokes, and in about ten seconds I'm going to fry you alive in your own juices with a blast of lightning because man, won't that be fun? I'm not sure if I have the patience to wait that long though.Big Bad: OfFinal Fantasy VI, naturally. I began asThe Dragonto Emperor Gestahl, but trust me, even before I killed him and took over as main antagonist,I was already doing most of the work.Breakout Villain: I only appeared in one game, but I made such an impression that I stand proud as one of the most famousFinal Fantasyvillains, and some have even called me one of the greatest villains in all of video games! People love me, and I hate them all in kind.The Chessmaster: Believe it or not, I showed signs of this. My, shall we say,impeccablefashion sense and demeanor made Gestahl underestimate me and think I'd be easy to control. I exploited Celes's little band breaking into the Magitek research facility to learn about the powers of Magicite, and then used Gestahl's plan to find the Espers to turn a lot of them into it. Finally, I learned about the Warring Triad's powers in secret so I could use them to finally "dethrone" Gestahl. Moral of the story, boys and girls:Don't judge a book by its cover.Complete Monster: Once you get to know me, you can see that I am not a nice guy at all.See herefor my finest accomplishments!Confusion Fu: How I fight inDissidia, magic attacks that have irregular movements.Crazy Is Cool: Especially inDissidia, I ham up the scenery while throwing out magic that have bizarre movements.Creepy Circus Music:My leimotifcombines this trope with a military march, quite appropriate if I do say so myself.Creepy Crossdresser: I look stunning with earrings and beads in my hair. I even painted my fingernails purple forFinal Fantasy Dissidia!Death from Above: As a god my instrument to destroy was the Light of Judgment, aPillar of Lightfrom the heavens to burn the earth and anyone in its path.Depending on the Writer: In the original Japanese game I hailed from, I was aPsychopathic Manchild, silly and comical. Then thatTed Woolseyfellow translated my lines for the English game to emphasize my hatred and cruelty, and the joy I found in tormenting others. This re-imagining of me was so popular it would influence my later appearances in the game's re-release andDissidia, on both sides of the Pacific.Epic Flail: You only have one or two real chances to see it (think the confrontations with me at the Sealed Gate or the Seige of Doma, where I'm in overworld sprite form and not enemy target form), but for simple hand-to-hand combat, I prefer swinging around a chained, big ol' spiked ball of hurt on a stick.Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Look, let me be serious for a second and lay it down easy for you. Even if I wasn't around, you're going to die sooner or later, as will everyone you know and love, and everything you love about life will be destroyed or forgotten once you're gone, if it doesn't happen already while you're alive. So what's thepoint? Why bother living when eventually you're going to die and everything you did in life will amount to nothing? Love, hope, friendship? That'sstupid, those things really make your empty life worth living? Don't be ridiculous! Just lay down and let me kill you, it's whats going to end up happening anyway so why fight it?Evil Is Burning Hot: My favorite method of destruction is to burn things, and that's saying a lot because I have a lot of different ways to destroy things.Evil Laugh: It's my trademark!All together now!Evil Sorceror: My magical powers are almost unequaled, even before I started sucking the Triad dry of their godly power.Expy: As my white make-up, evil laugh, and penchant for causing destruction and chaos for a quick laugh might have tipped off, I am very similar toThe Joker. By the way,greatguy, has some brilliant ideas I might steal for myself someday.For the Evulz: All the chaos, mayhem, and destruction I cause? I do it just because it'sfunto do! I don't have aFreudian Excuse, I'm not out for revenge, I don't have any delusions that I'm doing the right thing. I'm just having a blast watching you all die.From Bad to Worse: Trust me, it canalwaysbe worse. I know, I'm likely to be the cause, as my home game will attest.From Nobody to Nightmare: I'm not fully sure of my origins, but definitely I was once just an ordinary human living an ordinary life. I went on to become a god and attempt to destroy the world and everyone living in it. Heck, in your first few fights with me, did you expectsomeonelikemeto be anything more than a running gag? I'm just full of surprises!Germans Love David Hasselhoff: It's become known in the Internet era that I'm far more popular in North America than in Japan. This is thanks to the work ofTed Woolseyagain, who rewrote my dialogue in the original Super NES release of my game to emphasize my psychopathic hatred of life and thirst for destruction, while in the original Japanese I was more of a giggling fool who destroyed for fun. This alternate depiction of me proved so popular though that it would influence the remakes of the game and my later appearances in spin-offs, and now I'm sort of aComposite Characterof my original and translated selves.Godhood Seeker: God of Magic, to be precise! I absorbed the power of the Warring Triad, themselves gods, to become even stronger than they ever were!Hope Crusher: Your pathetic, empty "hope" is so much more fun to destroy when it seems so close to your reach.Knight of Cerebus: Once I start showing off my love of destruction, the game really starts getting a lot darker when I show up. I murder somebody in almost every scene I appear in. And that's before I cause the World of Ruin.Large Ham: Hey, destruction is so muchfun, can I help it if I let myself enjoy it!Laughably Evil: Part of why the fans like me. Everyone sees me as horrible monster, but they can't deny I've got some of the funniest moments inFinal Fantasy VIand inDissidiaLight Is Not Good: Never forget, light canburn, and as my Light of Judgment proves, it does it real good, too.Load-Bearing Boss: In a metaphysical sense. The Warring Triad were the gods of magic and the source of all magic for it, so when I drained their powers, that passed on to me. When I died, all the magic in the world, along with Espers and Magicite, vanished forever.Madness Tropes: You could probably stick a good half the index here if you really wanted to stretch my characterization! To list some of the most prominent and important ones:Ax-Crazy: ...an ax! I never thought of that! I've spent all this time massacring thousands of people using my magic, but anax, that's brilliant! Someone get me an ax, a big one!Death Seeker: InDissidia, I become so lost in despair over the pointlessness of life that I resorted to destroying myself to see ifthatcould finally make me feel better.Laughing Mad: OH WOW, this is almost my defining trope even more than anything else, I'm theTrope Namereven! Well, my final boss theme is rather, but you get the point. Ilovecausing carnage and chaos wherever and however I can, and I make sure anyone watching knows it! Not that there should be anyone watching, they should all be dead!Mad God: I'm the God of Magic, and I'm not so much off my rocker as I am doing cartwheels around the room.Monster Clown: If I need the white face make-up,Evil Laugh, and colorful harlequin clothing to frighten you, I'm obviously not doing a good enough job on my own, but I figure it can only help, right?Obfuscating Insanity: I may be nuts, but I'm notstupid. When I put what's left of my mind to it I'm just as manipulative and cunning asFinal Fantasy'sgreatests.Omnicidal Maniac: The very second I got ultimate power, the first thing I did is try to blow up the world. I didn't get all the way there, but I was pretty happy with what I had managed for a first try. Then the heroes annoyed me at the top of my tower, so I decided to finish the job.Psychopathic Manchild: In my Japanese appearances I use the "boku-chin" pronounce that little boys usually use, and some of my behavior could be seen as a "tantrum". That said, I still showed signs of this in the U.S. version when I threw a tantrum over theKirk Summationthe heroes gave me when they finally confronted me at the end of the game.Psycho Prototype: The first Magitek Knight, but the process was still experimental and something in my mind just wasn't the same after that procedure, twisting me into what I am now.Sanity Slippage: At the start of the game when you first meet me, I'm not really "insane", just a little off-kilter and quick to resort to violence to get my way. As the game goes on you'll notice me laughing more often, getting more extreme in my methods, and by the end of the game I'mwaypast the limits of rationality.Slasher Smile: What part of "having fun killing things and letting it show" do you not get yet?The Sociopath: I can check off a good number of the requirements.I care nothing for anyone, cannot understand morality and goodness and why people follow them, can manipulate others to make them do what I want, have no control over my own impulses and am always looking for more creative ways to sate my appetite for destruction, and have a quite large ego and even compliment my own looks in theDissidiagames. Some people just want to the watch the world burn. Me?I was the one who lit the match.With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: The Magitek infusion granted me immense magical powers, but shattered my sanity. It's not fully clear if the power I gained during the game hastened my descent into total madness, or if I just happened to get crazier on my own as I sought more power, but it's definitely possible either way.You're Insane!: General Leo called me out on this as I prepared to kill him...yeah,I thought it was a little direct too, especially after showcasing all those other tropes up there.Magical Clown: That Joker guy can brag all he wants, but canhesay that he became a full-blowngod? Oh sure, there was thatEmperor Joker...thing, buthecheated. My powers are all mine.Manipulative Bastard: InDissidia, I spotted that weirdo crossdresser Kuja maybe planning to switch sides, so I put the kabash on that.Mysterious Past: My past prior to the game's beginning is a blank slate. Someone tells you I was the first Magitek Knight, but otherwise, there are no details of my history revealed. SomeFanoninspired by Japanese non-licensed doujinshi paint me as a Thamasan orphan who became one Gestahl's finest generals, and the one who recruited Celes into our ranks. Then my Magitek infusion corroded my mind and I was bumped down to court mage in favor of General Leo. None of that is official canon, but if you wanna go with that, be my guest.Nietzsche Wannabe: I'll say it again, nothing you've accomplished in life matters, and you and everything you cherish will one day be destroyed, so why bother living at all? This is why I decided to destroy the world, it'll all die without my influence, but I can speed things along and help you get it over with.One-Winged Angel: And mine even predates theTrope Namer. Take that, momma's boy!Poison Is Evil: Well,duh. Just ask the people of Doma...what's left of them, anyway!Practically Joker: Grr! I hate to admit it, but yeah, we got quite a bit in common.Laughably Evil,Lean and Mean,Monster Clown, prone toEvil Laugh... yeah, yeah, we got a lot of overlap. But listen! We're not exactly twins separated at birth either! The fact you actually knowmy name,my backstory,andI have magical powers while he doesn't means we're quite different too.Shut Up, Kirk!: I question the heroes if they got anything to fight for, and they actually decided to answer and boy were their answers sappy, so I told them they sound like bad lines from a self help book.The Starscream: Remember how I was cackling in the Magitek Factory about reviving the Warring Triad? That was a hint that I was planning to stab that pompous fool Gestahl in the back long before we got to the Floating Continent. You can also see how angry I got when he bossed me around in the Cave of the Sealed Gate. Not to mention (unlikethe freak himself) I was asuccessfulStarscream-the results speak for themselves.Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: I may be aNietzsche Wannabe, but think about that — the very concepts of hope, love, friendship? They mean nothing to me. I'm just too insane to understand them anymore. So if I can't live for those precious things that make everyone else happy, what else can I live for but destruction? All I have to bring meaning to my life is destroying things, and eventually even that won't be enough. This is why I was driven to myDeath Seekerstatus inDissidia, there was nothing left to try to make me happy except destroying myself.Hey, guess what? While you were reading all that, I was still counting down from sixty.ONE!*fwoosh*


HELLO, TROPERS! I'M THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN! LET ME SHOW YOU MY....(No, don't kill them! They're not deserving! Just tell them about yourself. Tell them your name is Krieg and you're a Vault Hunter from the video gameBorderlands 2, butdo NOT say anything about poop or blood!)I TAKE A POOP-FLAVORED BLOODBATH! I LIKE RIDING BICYCLES MADE OF MEAT, MAULING THE MEAT WITH A MOTOR, AND BEING ON FIRE!(Sigh.... Sorry, Troper. This is the madman in control of my body, and I'm all that remains of his long-broken mind.)HE'S THE ULTIMATE PARTY POOPER! HE REFUSES TO LET ME RIDE MY MEAT BICYCLE WHEREVER I SEE FIT!THE FACE-WEARING MAN ISHERE TOO!I LOVE REPEAT CUSTOMERS!noteJack:What, you wanna try murdering me again like the savage you are? Bring it, bandit. Just don't come crying to Lilith or your dear dead Roland when I strangle you! Oh BTW, your blue siren friend got dusted by fraternal evil Siren twins! Whatchugonnadoaboutit because the new Vault Hunters already killed them! Ha Ha!I have the shiniest trope bicycle!Amazon Chaser:(Maya could kill me with her brain. And she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever met).SHE WAS THE FIRST LADY TO MAKE ME WANNA SHOUT!(Damn you, Troy Calypso. Damn you to Hell!)Amnesiac Hero:(We've been like this so long I can't even remember when I was in control....)AND I DON'T WANNA!(After diving into our mind and remembering what Dr. Benedict did to us, I can see why.)And I Must Scream:(From what little I've been able to piece together from my old life, I was a Vault Hunter until Hyperion turned me into....this. Now a lunatic is in control of my body, he barely even listens to me, and I'm forced to watch him murder almost everyone he meets without being able to do anything but steer him towards the deserving.)Arch-Enemy:THE MAN WITH A FACE ON HIS FACE! I WANNA TEAR OFF HIS FACE AND HIT HIM IN THEFACEWITH IT!noteJack:Feeling's mutual there, bandit, even thoughI have no idea what you're talking about.Battle Couple:THE BLUE TATTOO HANGS THE PIÑATAS IN THE AIR AND I HIT THEM UNTIL THEY LET OUT ALL THEIR BLOOD-CANDY!note(That's a....crude but accurate summation. I don't know if Maya's noticed my feelings for her, but we work extremely well together.Before that damnable Troy Calypso got her.)The Berserker:I GET IN A FIGHT WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN AND MY PECS IN THE MUD!Blood Knight:I WANNA SLAUGHTER THE MEATMEN WITH POPGUNS AND MOTOR-HATCHETS!Close-Range Combatant:I'M A TOUCHY FEELY HOLIC!Combat Sadomasochist:I EMBRACE THE FLAME....Demoted to Extra:WHY DO I APPEAR ONLY AS VOICE BOXES?!(It was for the best that we stayed away from that crazy-ass cult. The architects of Maya's demise would have manipulated our loss byturning us against the Crimson Raidersand the last thing I'd want before ending us is to hear the snickering and jeering of two power mad assholes streaming our grief-driven carnage for their garbage channel. Our time will come, but by our own terms. And it may be sooner than we think.)Evolving Weapon:(I'm actually surprised my outer self knew enough about technology to upgrade our buzz-axe the way he did.)The Friend Nobody Likes:I AM THE ATTACK DOG OF THE RED BANDITS, ONLY GOOD FOR BITING PEOPLE!(We've been over this, that's not how the Crimson Raiders see you at all!)Glass Cannon:(We actually getstrongerwhen our shield's down.)Having a Blast:I BLAST BANDITS' BRAINS FOR THE BLOODSPLOSION!(And if that wasn't excessive enough, they'll explode with the element of whatever weapon we used to do it. Would've been damn nice to use that new radioactive element.)Heroic Build:MY PECS HAVE PECS!Intelligible Unintelligible:(Well, I wouldn't last too long inside this guy's head if I couldn't understand what he was saying.)Large Ham:I AM THE MAD MAESTRO OF MEAT!Mad Bomber:LIGHT THE FUSES, BITCHES, I'M READY TO BLOW!Mechanically Unusual Fighter:I DO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T DO!AND THE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DO WHAT I DO SAY I'M JUST NOT DOWN WITHTHE DISEASES!Playing with Fire:RAVING RETRIBUTION REQUISITIONS RIGHTEOUS REVENGE UPON FOES WHEN AFLAME WITH FIREBALLS!Red Oni, Blue Oni:(Literally the case inside my mind. I'm personified as a blue Krieg while my Psycho self is personified as a red one.)Screaming Warrior:I SING WHEN I SWING AND I SWING WHEN I SING!Smiting Evil Feels Good:THE HEAD-VOICE ONLY LETS ME KILL PEOPLE HE SAYS ARE DESERVING AND I DON'T MIND A BIT EXCEPT WHEN I DO!Split-Personality Takeover:(Yes, I refuse to let my other self harm an innocent life. If he ever does it, I'll take control just so I can kill us both)HE ALSO COMES OUT OF MY CONSCIOUSNESS CAGE TO MOVE MY MOUTH!Talkative Loon:(Yeah, good luck getting me to shut up.)Throwing Your Sword Always Works:MY MEAT BICYCLE IS THE BASEBALL AND THE BAT!Token Enemy Minority:I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR MY MAD BROTHERS!Walking Shirtless Scene:NO SHIRT PRISON CAN HOLD MY MUSCLES!Wrecked Weapon:MY MURDEROUS MEAT MOTORCYCLE IS NO MORE!


Hello? Yes, it's me...erm, oh.It's got a D in it...Ah! Larry Da Vinci! And what's this? Do my eyes deceive me? Hello, Troper! I'm from that "LittleBig" place. What was it?Little Big Town...Little Big Man...Little Big Adventure...Ah!LittleBigPlanet!I remember the days of the thing...it began with an "A"...Alliance! That's it! Anyway, I remember it with such...what's the word? I forget.Something's supposed to come next...It always comes next...oh yes, the list! The list of...I forget. Mind like a...a...Remember, what kills you makes you stronger! Something like that...What are these things called again? Tropes! That's it!Absent-Minded Professor: Avalon said I was absent-minded, and I have a degree in Popitology.Cool Old Guy: Avalon would say he's this. Wait, why is it onmycharacter page?Forgetful Jones: Jones? Is that my name? I could have sworn it had a "D".The Leader: I used to lead something beginning with an A.Mentor Archetype: To Sack-Thing. No, I didn't forget his name, that's it.Named After Somebody Famous:Somebody.I don't rememberwhoexactly...Ithinkit'sIsaac Newton.You Know That Thing Where...Oh, never mind.


Greetings, O second rate- wait a minute... You aren't Banjo or Kazooie! This isn't even Spiral Mountain! What is this place?!Uh-huh... So this website,TV Tropes, is where you list tropes about various types of media? IncludingVideo Games? AndBanjo-Kazooieis listed here as well? Why, isn't that just marvelous! My eyes are almost popping out of my screen!But let's not get ahead of ourselves, now. My title is the Lord of Games, but you, er... Tropers can call me L.O.G. I am the grand creator of all video games, includingthe italian gentleman,the blue hedgehog,the orange marsupial, and, of course,the bear and breegull.You may be asking yourself, "Well, L.O.G., if you're the grand creator of all video games, why didn't you show yourself?" Lucky for you, I have an answer. I simply am present, I just choose not to show myself.I only chose to reveal myself inBanjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Boltsafter seeing that Banjo's feud with Grunty needed some spicing up. With aGenre Shiftinvolving cars, of course.After that, I made an appearance in one moreRaregame (that beingKiller Instinct (2013)) as a backpack forRash... before not appearing in any games since then. I wasn't even invited tothat grand contestBanjo and Kazooie participated in! I will admit, I hated seeing those two anathemas Galeem and Dharkon wipe out many of my creations, but I couldn't interfere. If I did, well... that would ruin the fun for you, wouldn't it?Now, before you ask, this is not a place tocomplain about the sole game I have a major role in. I am legally obliged to say this on behalf of the administration staff.Now then, let the troping commence!Big Good: I'll admit, I'm a rather unusual example compared to other characters who fit this trope. I'm a neutral entity in the grander scheme of things between Banjo and Grunty, but I often bend the rules to help him and his feathered friend.Blue-and-Orange Morality: Nevertheless, my utmost concern is entertainment foryou, the player, which also means I must stay neutral. Apologies to the people who were expecting me to directly help Banjo or Kazooie.Final-Exam Boss: My challenge inSpiral Mountain, which I have dubbed "Six of the Best", tasks Banjo and Kazooie with a marathon of different challenges they have completed throughout the game, only this time, they have to design a vehiclewith the capabilities to do everything. I do admit,I'm thesecondto last challenge, with the final challenge being, of course, against Grunty (which, amusingly enough, falls into this criteria as well).A Form You Are Comfortable With: This, my dear Tropers, isn't even close to my "true" form. I just choose to present myself like this as to appear friendly and approachable to my videogame children.The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: At one point in the game's opening cutscene, I just have a bit of small talk with the player...before going back to the business at hand. Trust me, with all my omnipotence, I wouldnevergo as far asthat psychotic dating sim schoolgirl who wants the player to herselforthat vile little weed of a flower who thinks it's alright to scare the living daylights out of them. Even I have standards, you know.Monika:Well, that wasn't very nice. Unlike you, I actually care about the player's well-being. And I'm not evil, either! W-what are you trying to say?Image Song: Ah, yes. "Inside the Logbox". In one part of the song, you can even hear me welcome Banjo and Kazooie to my game worlds.Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Okay, "jerk" is really stretching it. I consider myself as a strict entity who makes sure that the conditions of the game are met. However, between you and me, I do have a bit of a soft spot for the bear and bird. I shudder to think whatthat cliched cronewould have done with Spiral Mountain if she won.King of All Cosmos: I am the most powerful entity in the wholeBanjo-Kazooieuniverse, if not the whole video game world as you know it.No Biological Sex: Unlike other robotic entities mentioned on this website, I am beyond such earthly distinctions as gender. However, if you consider that a Lady of Games exists, I supposed that would make me superficially male. Not that it bothers me much, anyway.Purple Is Powerful: If my purple cloak isn't obvious enough.Reality Warper: Being the grand designer behind all video games, I have the ability to control everything... at least, within a video game.Shout-Out: The thing displayed on my screen might lookfamiliarif you've been into my craft when it first began.Spear Counterpart: You may think I'm the only one of my kind at first glance, but that is certainly not the case. When you teleport back to Showdown Town, there is an off chance thatI'll mentionthat there IS a "Lady of Games". Not that she has any plot relevance, of course. She created the first games to feature pony-riding, lovely kittens, and ninjas being blown up with rocket launchers.TV Head Robot: More like "TV Robot", in my case. My head is the only part of my body, unless you also count my cloak as part of it.Welcome to my world...Stupid bear and bird...Lots to do and see...Stop N' Swop on 360...