why Arthur is a poor training partner)Just as Arthur was getting into his battle stance,a bee flew up his nose! Flailing about in confusion, hestumbled across a tree root and lost his balance. We were, unfortunately,positioned near the top of a particularly steep ravine...Xander: Ah... no need to continue.I can guess what happened next.Effie: So... you don't want to hear about the partwhere he gotstruckby lightning?— Xander and Effie's B-Support,Fire Emblem Fates(This page is best read in the voices ofCam Clarkeor Riki Kitazawa. Be sure to do yourabsolute hammiestSilver Age superheroimpression.)Justice prevails!NEVER FEAR! ARTHUR IS HERE!Oh, and what a lovely day for Lady Luck to bless me on this fortuitous occasion! I finallyget some publicityfor my own heroics!Not that I'm one to brag about my heroism, of course, asthe gift of inspiring others is more than enough! Now, let us —W-WOAH, NO—(Leaps for cover asrunaway horse carriage crashes into the wall;a bunch of mud splashes on Arthur,but he is otherwise unscathed)(Slowly Stands Up)...Ahem. Well, as I was saying —(Load ofwyvern-dungfalls directly onto his head; he pouts, slightly annoyed now, and casually wipes it off)Ahem! As I wassaying—(Stray thunderbolthits and cooks Arthur; aside from someblack charring,he is not only unharmed,but the mud and wyvern-dung is evaporated and he shakes himself free of the charcoal like none of the above happened)Lady Luck, can youpleasegive me a moment to talk, first?! I don't ask for much!(Beat)(Clears throat again)...Well,that embarrassing introduction aside, let me properly introduce myself! I am Arthur, the ever-noble,loyal retainerofPrincessEliseof theKingdom of Nohr! I amthe shield of the weak, theprotector of hope!I am justice!I amthelight! ...Err, oris the nightmore fitting here, givenNohr? Ah, it does not matter!Sweating the small details only gives one a headache! Regardless of such,I am happy to describe myself in this page of justice as you please! Youhaveheard of my heroics, have you not?...Eh? You need to hear what my origin story is? Well, I suppose a bit of backstory couldn't hurt anyone! Sadly, I'm afraid there's not much to tell.I was born toa loving family of commoners who taught me something very important: "only the just can protect justice." I've dedicated every waking day of my life in martial arts, training, and heroism, andsoon enough I would rise the ranksto become a royal retainer of Princess Elise herself! Of course, there were some distractions here and there — a young girl fromanother nation, her face wet with tears, I found alone. As fate would have it, royal guards were looking for her — sensing danger, I would take the blame for her disappearance, and be subjected totwenty lashes in punishment! ...Or was it thirty? Ahaha,it wasn't that bad if I couldn't even remember the pain.Regardless, I am here to explain myself in any such fashion you require! If you need a hero of justice to stand by, side by side, you may only ask!I shall be far more than happy to assist in any fashion you require!Oh? What now? Tropes? Oh, ahem, well, in that case...Aha,therewe go! Here is our applicable trope list... OF JUSTICE!:Affectionate Parody: There is nothing of parody tomy heart's fiery beating for justice! ...Err,being sincere however, Ihaveread elsewhere that my, ahem,bravadois based off ofSilver Age superheroesin all their...(Re-Reads Notes)...Campand cartoonish glory?!(Beat)Ahahaha!That is actually rather charming!But yes, I am well aware my antics can be a bit... off-putting.My own world's chroniclesis thusly aware of it also, but lest you forget, my heroism is thankfully treated withthe utmost respect by the world's denizens! Thanks for the positivity,Shin Kibayashi!All-Loving Hero: Everyone deserves the right to happiness and justice, no matter friend or foe! Defeating evildoers is never not an excellent choice,but sparing whenever possibleandmaking foes into friendsisthe true mark of a hero! We've recently adopted Lord/Lady Corrin's requestto spare enemy troops through non-lethal subjugation, though from what I hear, the strategem has proven rather...controversial.Banana Peel: Argh! Accursed banana peels!My twelfth worst enemy! ...Eh? Well, one through eleven are unfortunately — err, not the point, the point is that they spontaneously appear to foil my heroism, like with my assistance to missFelicia! ...Which is weird,because I could almost swear we ran out of banana peels a while back when that happened...Becoming the Mask: Being entirely sincere with you,a great deal of my theatrics are for show than tell, haha. But such bravado manages to be so inspiring that it merely becomes the identity of the champion of Justice, Arthur!Boisterous Bruiser: Ahahaha! No matter the odds, evil shall not prevail!Born Unlucky: It, ahem, has provenquite obvious by nowthat I ama little bit unfavored by Lady Luck, yes?(Eyes widenasa falling pianonearly crushes Arthur; he dodges just in time)...Well, look no further!(Smiles,While Grimacing)...I think that was Lady Elise's piano... how did it drop from here?!Brought to You by the Letter "S":It varies on the translation, old chum! My belt's 'H' symbol stands for Harold in the Japanese version, but as fate has it with my birth name, it stands as such for 'Hero' now!Brutish Character, Brutish Weapon: Yes, I shall admit, an axe can be a rather, ahem,devastating weapon, but me?Brutish?Perishthethought!Can't Hold His Liquor: Trust me, I do not drink! All kinds of horrible misfortunes would betide me if I was even a mite less lucid! Then again, in my interactions withNyx, an accidental shot of clear liquor made me mistake Elise's hair braids as a baguette...Chewing the Scenery: Ahaha, yes, I can be quite... theatrical, indeed. But hey, even heroes of Justiceand those who play themhave to have a bit of fun, yes? Ahaha!Cosmic Plaything: Alas, I can't count any times I won the lottery! Or anything luck based... It seems I am rather quite cursed with regards to luck, unfortunately.Ah, well, there's always brighter callings!Determinator: It matters not the odds,or the lack of them for success! I shall fight for a better future for all that I care about!And for Lady Justice!For Great Justice:FOR JUSTICE!Good Parents: Ahaha, um...well, that'sdebatable. Make no mistake, I love my boy Percy, as he's my pride and joy... but in retrospect,getting my darling wife of justice pregnant and us having to put our beloved child in a pocket dimension wasn't my smartest move!Percywasunderstandably miffed by us as such,to the point we had to defeat him when I was mistaken for the infamous bandit Gazzak and jumped on him with a mercenary band... but truly, I intend to make my amends. I shall be the best father any child of justice can ask for! ...And best wyvern caretaker!Genre Refugee: Many have come to note that my placement is rather...odd, for a medieval fantasy world, no? Well, even my appearance inthe Order of Heroesreflects this, looking straight fromthe art of other such scribes of otherworldly heroics!Good Feels Good: Why do I do what I do, to help those in need? Well,aside from the obvious answer, because it's what feels right to me! I love helping those in need — and if you ever need my help, Troper, you need only but ask!Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: This glorious golden mane is only rivaled by the golden love and passion I have for the people of Nohr!Hero Antagonist: A-Antagonist?! Why, Inever— Eh?You mean "heroic character who opposes the protagonist", not "villainous hero"? Oh, I suppose that makes sense! Lord/Lady Corrin could have easily sided with Hoshido instead, and I would be forced to do battle to protect Lady Elise!Heroic Build: Aha, you like my muscles? Don't worry,I mean no harm! Though then again,Iamin the Fighter class...Heroic Self-Deprecation: Ahaha, you'd be hard pressed to see moments of my outgoing heroism quiet! But nonetheless, I am but a simple soldier.Helping others is simply the right thing to do!Hidden Depths: You'd honestly suspect my own hamminess to imply a lack of maturity in my understanding of justice, do you not? Well, old chum,you'd be incorrect! I put a lot of thought into what justice means to me, and make certain not to confuse it withvengeance! A hero does not avenge for avenging's sake — they are a shield, a protector, and more importantly an icon! That is what heroism means to me!Arthur:Justice means many things to many people. For me, it's a way of life. It's waking up before your friends to go on patrol... It's searching high and low to locate a lost child for their frantic parents... It's coming across an injured elderly person and becoming their legs for them... It's hearing a crying baby and crying with it until it calms down... It's jumping into a fight and turning angry fists into friendly handshakes... Justice is all these things, and so much more! That's what it means to ME, in any case.Hope Bringer: Above all else, bringing smiles and light tothe dark landsofNohris what is my duty! And above all else? Because seeing people smile really does make ME smile, too!And I already smile quite a bit!Iron Butt Monkey: If it wasn't the fact that I've been already struck by lightning thrice this week (counting this page!) and fell of a cliff, set on fire, had a tree fell on me, attacked by a horde of Faceless... well, most normal men would be put out of commission!But Lady Luck gets me out of it all the same that she puts me in it!She is indeed a fickle mistress...The Jinx: My allies stay quite a ways away from me out of fear of being hit by one of my spells of misfortune! ...Albeit,only enemies and myself seem to be affected by my jinxing luck for some reason...Lantern Jaw of Justice: A clean-shaven mug of but the noblest man of Nohr!Lethal Chef: Aha, um... w-well, let's just say my ill fortune ruins any attempts at me cooking.It's not my fault, truly! The oven just overcooked a bit too much, and our food spoiled! ...Despite us getting it the day before...Nice Guy:Ahaha, you flatter me too much. But nothing makes me feel happier than seeing my loved ones and friends be happy. It's why I do what I do, fellow friend!The Paladin: I shall stop at nothing to be an ally to those in need, a shield of justice! Though I suppose it's to be clear that while I believe in the rule of peace, I am certainly no fool, unlike what one may think of those with moreinflexible beliefs! Nay, justice is to uphold the spirit of peace, not merely the letter!The Pollyanna: My misfortune has caused quite a deal of unfortunate accidents throughout my time, and given the amount of adversity I deal with just for walking out of bed, I could see why others would be crushed to have such luck! But nay,I still fight for what's right, damn the odds!Rated M for Manly: Muscles...OF JUSTICE!Self-Made Man: As mentioned within my own backstory, I am but a humble commoner who's skill with fighting proved so great I became a retainer for the Nohrian royal family, specifically Princess Elise! Alas, but there is no greater reward than the thrill of heroism!Smug Smiler: Evildoers shall tremble in fear when they seemy smile! Usually that means there'sno more holding backfrom me!Strong and Skilled: Aha, but what is a hero of Justice to do that train one's talent if they cannot win through luck! Yes, I amrather well built, but my true calling is my Skill growth, which is abnormally high for my class! ...Not that it becomes obvious,when you use me at first...Taking the Heat: As I have alluded to, I have taken severe punishment for the sake of whom I would learn to beLady Azura. She was sadly harassed by King Garon's aides, and I found her when I was but a boy crying in an alleyway. When guards rushed over looking for her, I feared they were going to punish her, so I took the punishment instead! Also as mentioned, I was whipped for it, but givenI don't remember how painful it was, it was probably a lot less painful than my otherblunders...Unluckily Lucky: Lady Luck for me isoften a one-way street, but it offerjust enough trips down the other way to help me survive! I am often told most people wouldperish to the injuries I am afflicted to, but through that same luck, I emerge relatively unscathed! As a bonus,Nyxshowed me my fortune and told me my luck would improve with age! Now,hopefully I live long enoughtosee that improvementto begin with...Woolseyism: While I had but a rather standard, hammy voice in the Japanese voice over, the fine champions of justice over at Treehouse decided to give me an imitation ofa certain fellow superherothrough myEnglish voice! Suffice to say, it was quite well-received!Stay safe, citizen!


The Hero of Love and Justice is here!!!(This page is best read in the voice ofTsuyoshi KoyamaorSteve Kramer. OrespeciallyTony Oliver)(Just as you entered the page, you hear this song blaring...)BANG BANG BANG BAAAAANG!!! BAANING-UU TAMASHII!!! TATAKAU KOKORO KOUGETSUKU HODO NIIIII!!!Hailed in heavens and earth, the one and only, Bang Shishigami, has arrived!!Greetings, Tropers! I see that there is this trend of characters fromBlazBluegetting their own Self-Demonstrating page! But what is this!? That evil monster Yuki Terumigot his own self-demonstrating page first!?Very well then, naughty tropers! It looks like it's time for a little Shishi-spanking and an effort to fix the balance between good and evil. Sit back and allow this good ol' ninja to describe himself! 'Tis a tale of hotblood, justice, and... um... tragedy. A man's romance!Well, as I have stated, my name is Bang Shishigami, the hammer of justice. I am but a humble ninja hailing from Ikaruga, being taught to grow and act like a good man by my master Tenjou Amanohokosaka. Alongside me, my master also has that Kagura Mutsuki as his student, but pay no attention to him! He is a bad example for you kids out there,always openly flirting with women instead of treating them with respect!And he is amongst the ranks of Novus Orbis Librarium, otherwise known as NOL, that organization full of oppressors of the needy, everything that Ikaruga does not represent!One day my master entrusted me with a mission and along with it, a giant nail that I have absolutely no idea what it is or what it does. But then, the NOL struck against us in a bloody war! It was a harsh battle, but I managed to evacuate many citizens into safety! But unfortunately, I let my guard down and left my master open, leaving him open from being struck against this Major of NOL... *clenches fist upwards*JIN KISARAGI!!At that moment, that boy froze me solid and then killed my master right in front of me.NOOOO!!!That would beMy Greatest Failure, I could not protect my master. I had to get over that, and relocate in the Hierarchical City of Kagutsuchi at the town of Ronin-Gai. We will rebuild the culture of Ikaruga and one day strike back against NOL! Of course, I had to do many odd-ball jobs but I settled on being a vigilante of justice, bringing criminals down! Yes, indeed, I certainly act like your Saturday morning superhero cartoon hero, and it was epic! Though it was odd that I had to report to NOL for that, but I had to shove my pride. But one day, I, Bang Shishigami, shall exact righteous justice to the NOL and that Jin Kisaragi!!Well, eventually there's this criminal known as 'The Grim Reaper', otherwise known as 'Ragna the Bloodedge', so I spent my time inCalamity Triggertrying to hunt him down. But... but perhaps I could say my existence here in Kagutsuchi is a blessing to me because in there, I met a lot of wonderful people, and good kids that can be shaped up to be a better generation. Such as that Taokaka and Master Carl Clover, or even that Miss Platinum the Trinity. Life is not easy for this ninja because everyone seems like treating mewith nothing but ridicule. But thankfully, there's also my.... my sweet angel... aah...MISS LITCHI FAYE-LING!!She's a kind and beautiful person beyond belief, even if there were some strifes between us, we are great friends and she's just about the only one who fully treats me with respect. She seems to have her mind focused to this monster Arakune, who also has a bounty in its head. Well, I suppose I could help... but that dangerous criminal Ragna comes first! Maybe if I do something awesome, I can impress Miss Litchi and then... and then...(OneImagine Spotlater)... Smooch...Whoa! I mustn't get carried away like this! My story isn't finished!Things seems to get a lot more chaotic inContinuum Shift, there's that green-haired evil man named Hazama seemingly working behind the scenes and I came face to face with Carl's monstrous father, Relius. However, there was one important thing to do that I have found out there, Lord Tenjou's son lived and I needs to fulfill my mission in regards of my nail! Love can wait, I must return to Ikaruga! It seems that Miss Platinum is also tagging along with me, so the more the merrier!We ended up meeting with Carl when we arrived in Ikaruga, during the time ofChronophantasma, though we parted ways. During around that time, I learned that the NOL system is the enemy, not Jin Kisaragi. But why is he stillan ass-wipeeven if he's now trying to mend his ways!? But I remembered what Lord Tenjou taught me: Absolve the offender, dislike the offense, so he still has his time for repent! Anyway, I also got into a small hijinx with Miss Bullet but eventually, I do not know why, but I eventually reunited with Kagura. It turns out he's been staging a righteous coup from within and trying to install the new Imperator of NOL... Lord Tenjou's son Homura! I can finally fulfill my mission!Oh and it turns out that this Ragna the Bloodedge is actuallyGood All Along! What a relief! But old grudges cannot be settled normally, so we settled it by beating the crap out of each other and gaining each other's respect! Men really talks with their fists!But troper... at this point, this is where everything went to hell. Relius came along trying to nab my nail for his genocidal plans... and on his side was...Miss Litchi!?And she's helping him by beating me up so she could create a new world where a certain 'Roy' can live!? B-but, Miss Litchi, what about MY feelings, did you just trample it like that!?NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!... What's that!? Master Carl, already known for his hatred to his father, now sided with him to have his sister restored!?NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!But it ain't a hero's story if you don't have the willpower to stand for what is right, and the heroic spirit is never extinguished that easily! Good thing there's both Miss Tsubaki Yayoi and Miss Makoto Nanaya backing me up to delay those two, I'd hate hitting them, so I concentrated all my firepowers to that evil marionette manipulator, until Lord Valkenhayn took over and I can finally activate my nail and fulfill my mission!Do you know what it is? The Nox Nyctores Phoenix Rettenjou! An anti-seithr device designed to get rid of seithr from the world! With that mission fulfilled, Ragna managed to defeat the monstrous Gigant: Take-Mikazuchi. Mission complete!(Somber music plays here).... Sigh...Still, what a costly battle that was. I do not know where I am right now, maybe that is why I am here, describing my life to you tropers. Even if I heard Relius has suffered extremeVillainous Breakdown... the damage was done. I judged Miss Litchi and Master Carl wrongly, they were not the idealized good person I thought they were, the type of flawless people. How could I be this blind that they are also humans with flaws, just like me? Is it because I had the need to keep up the hero of justice mantle for the kids? Or is it something else? People will probably demand me to exact justice on those two, but can I really do it and call it justice? Worse, I heard things did not go well for Ragna over there and the passing of Miss Platinum...(Back to your awesome dose ofBang music!)But mark these words of Bang Shishigami! As long as breath escapes my throat, I will not just give up on the spirit of goodness! I will not condemn Miss Litchi and Master Carl for their actions, if I could do that to Jin Kisaragi, I'm sure I can do it again to them! And I will stand against the looming evil that comes next! I heard it was the very Goddess of Death herself, Izanami. Well!Bring It! For the sake of goodness, and even if Gods needs to be smacked down, I, Bang Shishigami, shall becomeThe Hammer. Of... JUSTIIIIICCEEE!!!!Be sure to tune in toCentral Fictionfor the latest Bang Shishigami action and tales of justice!—BZZT— (We apologize, there has been another reset phenomenon by Master Unit Amaterasu.)Huh? What is this? I am... back in Kagutsuchi? Back with the good old days where it's all dandy with me and Tao, while I am still friends with Miss Litchi...? And I'm still hunting this... Grim Reaper? OOH! WHAT BLISS!! But wait, something is amiss... why is it that Kagura is the Hero of Ikaruga? Something seems not right... but why can't I remember in details? I know, I am an idiot at times, but this should have been something that not even Bang Shishigami can forget! Hmmm... errrmmm... Well there's this white haired man with red jacket. Seems unassuming, but that can't be the Grim Reaper... Huh...? Wha...!?Oh, NOW I remember! I remember everything! So right now after that, we're within the Embryo created by... Nine, one of the Six Heroes!? Why wouldanother hero fall to evil!?How can this beee!?And she said to fulfill my wish, I must defeat either Izanami... or the Master Unit... which happens to be the innocent Miss Noel Vermillion!? True, I know I have my dreams of rebuilding Ikaruga in the most proper way possible... but no! I definitely won't go through it, that goes against my justice to strike against an innocent for selfish desires! But then comes Ragna and he tried to devour my dreams just because I possessed it in the first place!? It was a harsh battle, while I managed to survive, he succeeded his mission. What was that about...?Just right after that, the Red Devil Iron Tager approached me and asked me to help Miss Litchi. And now I finally see the big picture... Roy was her lover, and she felt guilty of being 'responsible' of how he turned into the creature known as Arakune and has been trying to make amends... That was why she ended up being manipulated by Relius Clover back then... That fiend, trying to prey an innocent at their weakest! People may say that she betrayed justice, but to strike her with vengeance after learning all that would mean the greatest injustice of all! Therefore I offer myself to help Miss Litchi confront her problem and Tao also tagged along! It eventually came to a conclusion that Miss Litchi was set to finally defeat Arakune once and for all instead of sparing him like before, coming to terms about how her lover won't come back in spirit. However, this will not do! The burden of killing a loved one is harsh, so I will carry it for her! I won't let Miss Litchi cry again, which she has been doing during all this battle! So there I fought with all my might against Arakune... but it was at that time that everything, including me... all returning to seithr...How anticlimatic!!Regardless, it seemed that it was up to Ragna to save the day, and it seemed that he and Noel vanquished Izanami! Wait a moment, something's wrong with Hakumen! His body has turned black and green! No, it can't be. You're saying that's Terumi's true form and only Ragna can stop him?! Though I am unable to assist the Bloodedge in his final confrontation with that damnable ghoul, I will be with him in spirit. And by all that is good, Ragna finally delivers justice to that ghoul, killing him for good!Sob...You've made this ninja proud, damn it!And so the tale of the Azure ends with Ragna erasing his memories to everyone. I may not be the main hero of this whole thing... this is not my show after all, but I, Bang Shishigami, swore that I am proud to have taken part of this whole epic! As of what I'm doing afterwards? Rebuilding Ikaruga, like usual. It was what Lord Tenjo wanted of me, and I chose to respect Miss Litchi and her memories with Roy by no longer being a stalker to her, she seemed to have taken his advice well enough to move on with her life.I want her to be happy after all.But wait... what about Master Carl?... WHAT!? Are you saying that Relius managed to get through him and he has taken more drastic measures and colder, sourer view in trying to save his sister!? And my teachings...forgotten!?NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!Ragna's tale may be over, but the tales of this world is not yet over!! And so is Bang Shishigami's tales of heroism! Tune in next time, where hopefully my tales of justice will help people further, including Master Carl's! Until then, stay tuned and I'll see you next... next... hm... it's too long to call it a week... ehm... NEXT TIME!noteAnd if rumors are true, then next time, I would havea chance for a showdown with my predecessor,President Chipp Zanuff!I cannot hold this excitement for long!!Tropes of justice that befits Bang Shishigami!Anime Hair: Gawk into the wondrous spiky hair of Bang Shishigami! One of the craziest of the trope examples!Arch-Enemy: *clenches fist upwards*JIN KISARAGIIIII!!!!Even if you are technically on our side inChronophantasma, you had better fix that rotten attitude of yours, or else!Badass Normal: All these feats I do?Solely based on training alone!None of those Armagus thingies, I didn't even know how to use the Rettenjou all the time I fought!BGM Override: Whenever I activated mySuper Mode, my awesomeness imploded so greatly there are great chorus overriding the musics everywhere.Butt-Monkey: It was well recorded in the ancient times that I, Bang Shishigami, used to be the butt end of the joke of everyone else. But fret not, loyal followers!I have shed that image and now a force of justice to be taken seriously!Calling Your Attacks: CRITICAL SUPER CRASH! PULVERIZING FIST! SHURIKEN SPECIAL! This is an Ukemi!Dogged Nice Guy: I always cared for Miss Litchi's well-being, and the best she does to me is to consider me a friend, not a lover. I do not fret at all. Perhaps it's better this way.Ensemble Dark Horse: Since the series started I've been a fan favorite despite being a minor character.Friend to All Children: Ehem, why else did I have to put up the superhero acts and keeps taking children for my students? Because I love'em. Honest.Hot-Blooded:I AM ALWAYS BURNING WITH PASSION IN EVERYTHING I DO!!!Idiot Hero: I am not very bright on the head, I don't think a lot. But my heart's always in the right place! ... I hope.Improbable Weapon User: You may mock me for using nails as a weapon, but I'll show you how powerful they can be!Jade-Colored Glasses: Admittedly, it might go another way, but I like to think thatChronophantasmawas a wake-up call for me, if only I didn't held onto my fantasies on Miss Litchi and Master Carl, I could have saved them...Justice Will Prevail: It certainly will, as long as I draw breath!Large Ham: Who saysyou need to be evil to be hammy!?Come forth and get ready for a Shishi-spanking!Love Freak: THE HERO OF LOVE AND JUSTICE!Ninja: They are mostlyFragile Speedsterswhen it comes to games like this. But not Bang Shishigami! I am instead anall-rounder!This is most intriguing, because they say my predecessor,Chipp Zanuff, isFragile Speedsterextraordinary!Highly-Visible Ninja: Uh... stealth? Wait, what was that again? Hm?I was deified because of it!?How did this information escape me!?Memetic Badass: In the eyes of many, I may be a complete joke, but even then, people of the internet, my fans over there, has revered me as an utter badass!No Indoor Voice: INDEED! I OFTEN SHOUT A LOT!!Playing with Fire: My soul burn with fire so hot, I can manifest it with fire-style jutsus.Rated M for Manly: Look at these chiseled abs and wonderful muscles, tropers! Still, it was you guys who considered me so, thus I thank you, my fans! Now! Jump into my manly chest!!... Wait, no no no, I didn't mean that for you, that was for someone else!Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: A bad habit of mine. Saying THUD as I collapsed, or saying GLARE as I looked at someone.Shout-Out: All these looks of mine are based on a great hero I respected.Mister Takeshi Hongo!*shedsManly Tears* I thank you for your great inspiration.Super Mode:FU-RIN-KAZAAAAANNNN!!!Took a Level in Badass: InCalamity Trigger, I was naught but aJoke Character. As it stands now, I am a certified Badass, being even able to go toe-to-toe with a giant overpowered bastard like Relius Clover!Wrong Genre Savvy: I've been told that while I'm correct in my assumptions of being a fictional character, I'm a character in a video game with aDarker and EdgierGrey-and-Gray Moralitystory, not a shounen anime series. Worse... I get this feeling that some of my 'fans' are trying to treat things here in aWrong Genre Savvymanner just like me. Stop, I tell you! This is one mistake that only Bang Shishigami shall carry, not you good kids!Tune in next installment! Same time, same channel! In a brand new tale of Bang Shishigami AND the Azure! TOH! *jumps off*


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Sorry to crash your tiny troping party, butI'll be sure to make it a LOT more fun!GWAHAHAHA!(For any wimps who speak English, you oughta read this in the voice ofHarvey Atkin, Marc Graue, Rob Wallace, Scott Burns, Patrick Pinney, Christopher Collins, Christopher Hewett, Kenny James,Dennis HopperorJack Black. For the Japanese punks, read this in Akiko Wada, Masaharu Satō, orKenta Miyake's voice. Think up anyone whoisn'tmy voice,noteunless you have a good idea about who should be,and I'll be sure to drop a Bob-omb brigade right at your door! Now, what else... Oh yeah! For added effect,put onone ofmysickjamswhile you'reat it, too!And one more thing...THIS PAGE'S GOT UNMARKED SPOILERS.So don't come crying to me, if for whatever crazy reason you wanna unlearn something awesome I did! Happy reading, chumps!)(a large, ominous castle pooling with lava waited with trepidation and awe for the arrival of the handsomest, manliest king known to man...as I stomp my way toward the throne room, I bark out the order:)OPEN THE DOORS!(and so...with gusto, my troops popped open those massive doors, as my muscled, powerful self was framed in shadow)Kamek: Behold...the King of the Koopas!(stomp...stomp...)(rears my head back...for a triumphant laugh!)GWAHAHAHAHAHA!Did someone page the king of awesome?Well, if so, it took 'em long enough! I don't know what kinda messed up mind would think thatOl' Purple 'Stachedeserved a page before me... it just ain't fair!I always hog his spotlight, so clearly I should deserve even MORE of it!The dude's a loser if you ask me! And yeah, seriously, youdon'tgotta tell me thatEggygot a page too...noteDr. Eggman:Hello!but that's not enough awesome villainy for this site! So who better to provide more grade-A, prime-cut, 100% evilnoteOkay, maybe not always.than the meanest, toughest tyrant around -KING BOWSER!Unless you nerds were livin' under a rocknotewhich, if you are...Get Out!How do you evenEATdown there?!! ...S-Scratch that, I'd rather not know., I don't think I gottahavean introduction! I'm just that big of a deal, baby! Right now I'd just jump right into the tropes from here, but...bah! Forget it, I guess I can make sure the rock-dwellin' losers know my name well too. I might even get a couple minions outta it!I'm Bowser, the supreme leader and ruler of the whole Koopa Troop and kingdom, and I've pretty much been callin' the shots since I was a baby Koop! I got a wonderful little boy, Jr. (ask about his mom and I'll fry ya!), and seven...fellasworking under me known as the Koopalings! Now you might be askin', if I'm a king, how come I don't have a crown? Well, I figured thatmy long, flowing locksshould do the talking! Me and my troops are all about evil plans, especially those to do with thewaylamer, wuss-ville Mushroom Kingdom, where those linguini lappingMario Bros.laze around in!Trust me, I've known both of 'em since we were kids... they REALLY suck. They'reEVERYTHINGI can't stand about idiots tryna look like heroes! They look like man-babies, theyactlike man-babies, and considering that they gotnothingelse to do with their lives besides trashing my plans and looking stupid, I'm gonna just take a wild guess and say that they'relegitman-babies! If you ever wanna see a real pain in the tail who trounces all over a perfectly good evil plan, look no further than that pair of spaghetti squash for brains! ...Though I gotta admit,they sure know how to set up a good time for even me and the son...but I just see races and sports as more opportunities to stick a victory into their faces!So, apart from stomping plumbers flat, what's my big deal with that shroom kingdom? Well, I'll give you two words; Princess Peach! Iusedto snatch Peach so I could use her magic for whatever I wanted (hey, with how annoying they are, those Toadsdeservedbeing bricked up) ...but...eh...to keep that long story short,that changed a little bit after a while......I'mblushing?!YOU'RE blushing!!Anyway, you can probably get the gist of my routine by now.I roll up, I grab Peach, hope to the stars she loves me for anything, the pasta punks chase me across different worlds to stop me...aside from meLOSINGevery time, I think the schtick hasn't gotten old! If there's anything that makes evil plans kick-butt, it's making 'em timeless! I've been nabbin' Peach anywhere and anywhen I can! I've stolen herfromhercastle,on her vacation(and my own!),in my dreams(no, seriously,don't youdarelaugh),stuffed her INTO her castle using its own Power Stars,tossed Mario out of her castle so I could take it over personally,stole some Star Rod doohickey and took her whole castle hostage on top of my own,teamed up with some weird papery version of me to get our Peaches and take out BOTH our Marios (and Luigi),set up a whole wedding for her, on the MOON...shoot, I even kidnapped PeachIN SPACE....twice!...(stomps the ground hard)WAKE UP, DUDE!Jeez, I didn't know nerds like you got bored so easily! You wouldn't know how to respect your rulers if it was punching you in the face with a THWOMP! Hmph, whatever, I think you get the point... I've been nabbing Peacha lotover the years, and I'll just keep doing itoverandOVERuntil the deed is done! I don't even care how many times I lose,oneof these days she'll fall for me and dump stachey boy in the... well...DUMP!!!Who wouldEVERfall in love with that stache-grooming,pasta-scarfing, shroom-smuggling,wahooing, minion-squishing,Yoshi-riding, coin-hogging, toilet-CLEANING LOSER LIKE THAT?!! IT'S SO DISGUSTING! HE'S A LOSER! AND, OOOH... DO I... REALLY... HATE HIM!!!(blows a large stream of fire up at the ceiling)CURSE YOU, MARIOOOOOO!!!...Grrrr... gimme a sec... yeah, let's forget about that whole Peach thing for now. The more I think about it, I think up a thousand more ways to stomp Mario's pudgy face in. It probably goes without saying, but no good villain is an one-trick pony! I've pulled off plenty of cool schemeswithoutlaying a finger on Peachy! Case in point,I caught those little fairy things to power my own amusement parknotetry and beat MY production value, Eggy!,crashed pretty much all of Mario's silly little get-togethers,and once trashed a whole island with some new awesome power born from my rage!Crud, Junior... I still gotta ground that dang kid for painting all over my face... I just wanted a nap!!Of course, you probably didn'tjustsee me pullin' off one awesome boss fight after another! I've graced the world of television with my handsome mug,where I had a million different identities and was willing to cause some big trouble with every one of 'em!Speakin' of trouble, I've just recently dominated a kingdom of penguins dressed as wannabe royals for the Super Star they've hidden away, all comin' to you on the big screen! GRAB YOUR TICKETS FOR THE BOWSER MOVIE, NERDS!And there was also... uh…the weird human me.W-We... we don't talk about the weird human me.EITHERof them.Anyway, enough of all that! I think I've covered all the basics... now time to get troping! Keep 'em accurate! Write it how I would! And most importantly, don't half-shell it or else I'm pulling out the spiny shells! Now scram, and don't disappoint!Gwahahahahaaa!!These are the biggest, baddest tropes around, and don't you forget 'em!open/close all foldersA-DAccessory-Wearing Cartoon Animal: Hey, look...Icanwear clothes, I just have the choicenotto. The shell and bands are enough to get mymanlinessacross! Now don't think about it too hard, andDON'T GET ANY WEIRD IDEAS.Achilles' Heel: I don't even know if Iwannaknow why, but...I can pretty tank anyone in a fightEXCEPTfor Mario! And...well, any one of his chump pals too now that I think of it, but especially the moron himself. I'm attributin' it to really crummy luck until then!Acrofatic: Go ahead, buddy, call me lardy all you want, but what you're really lookin' at is pure muscle! This is a Koopa who knows how to REALLY throw his weight around! Heck, I can jump higher thanMarioif I feel like it!Adaptational Villainy: Oh, don't get me wrong,I'm a nasty piece of work, alright, butmy grand return to theatersis...Uh... Simply showing offwhat Icoulddo if I just went all-out. Nogoing easy on my troops, nohesitating with tortureortryin' to drop prisoners into lava, not evenPeach would have gotten a pass for trying to weasel out of our wedding. Like I said,I could've done that kind of stuff if wanted to,I. Just. Don't. Feel like it.End of story, moving on!Besides,it's not like the usual laughs aren't therewhen you're played by ol' Jacky.Actually a Doombot: GWAHAHA! Don't fool yourself into thinkin' you beat me in, like, worldone. That's probably just a minion I had who disguised themselves as me!I also pulled this off at one tower I had, just to make sure Ikeep on winning!Adipose Rex: If you're thinking I'm just a slow tubby guy, you're in for a surprise! I'm atankof muscle who can slam anyone down into the ground in a second!Advancing Boss of Doom: When Iused Mario's goofy little powerups against him, I was doubling myself over and over as he climbed up my great tower! It was justswarmingwith adorable kitty me's, and I stood at the very top, cornering that pesky wimp...I almost had him on the ropes, until I remembered that someAIRHEADleft a POW block there!! Gee, THANKS for that!A Father to His Men:I don't always show it, but my troops follow me outta respect and honor, and I keep 'em around for it. No more, no less!Affably Evil: Me?Nice?...Pfft, I don't like to think so, but...alright, look, Idoreally love Peach, and youbetI will for my whole life. I just don't understand why she'd choose that pizza addict over me...well, alright, I guess Mario isn'tallbad. If there's one thing I can respect him for, it's for the challenge he gives me!A God Am I: Well, I don't really come out andsayit, but I surefeelit a lot of times! One time I've been able to make a whole galaxy and I've been prepping to make Peach my eternal queen by my side...bummerthatdidn't happen. I've also gotten godlike power through a lot of cool powerups, like the Grand Stars and that one weird Dream Stone! I still miss my rainbow flame, that was so rad...Alternate Self: Do we really have to talk about the human me? Grr... fine.The human version of mewasn'ttoobad I guess,Dennywas the only thing keeping that movie from being a total stinker, even if I looked more like aSleazy PoliticianthanThe ConquerorI really am.And Now You Must Marry Me: If Peach is reading this, YOU BETTER! Just let me pick out a really pretty gown for ya and I'll crash by! ...um, would you be okay wearing white? Wait a sec- HEY!YOUHEARD NOTHING, TROPE-DOPE!Anti-Climax Boss: Do I REALLY have to...?! ...Okay, much as I hate to admit it, I do have a track record of fights that aren't that challenging.My first shot against Marioisn't much of a step up from the fakes I sent his way... The first six breathed fire, and the last one threw hammers. You know I'm the real deal 'cuz I do both at once! I still go down easily if you just run past me and cut that stupid bridge like a spoilsport,instead of fighting me like a REAL man with no power-ups to help you...But cut me a break! That was the first game I popped up in, so it was a beginner's mistake! Plusjust getting through my castle is a challenge enough already.You know, BESIDES the stupid bridge architecture...In myrematch with Mario, I'm a totally unique enemy with NO fakes at all... who still doesn't put up much of a fight. I try to jump and do a good Bowser Bomb right on top of Mario, which is so weighty it smashes part of the floor! Of course considering how much of a slippery slimeball he is, he can dodge the attack easily, andif I smash the same spot in the center of the floor three times, I fall through it, and he wins.Again...WHO DESIGNED THIS ARENA?! I still breathe fire at Mario too, buthe's such a pipsqueak that he makes my aim get so cruddy, I can't even hit him if he's below me!Jeez...I gotta get myself better castle designers, ones that don't actively PUT MY LIFE AT RISK.Thelevel Mario has to get throughwhen he interrupts my family vacationwas brutal enough, soI went easy on him!Hey, it was tough for ME to go through that stupid mountain, I empathize with him! All beating me in that game takes is aGround Poundin the right place on the stage, and knock me out of my nice, scalding hot bath. RUDE.My second battle with Mario in spacegets screwed up ROYAL in the final phase where I fight Mario in the middle of a black hole...and this time the loser just needs to ground pound rocks into me. Hey, SHUT IT, it's not my fault! I would never design a fight so short the player doesn't get to enjoy the great final boss theme!COSMOLOGY SUCKS AND ISN'T FAIR!Mario caught me off guard when hecrashed my wedding with Peach,so I didn't have time to come up with any new attacks from our last fight apart from souping up what I already had.Hey, so we're clear,those strats worked out the THIRD time! I just needed to work extra hard and throw you nerds off-guard!Anti-Villain: Sometimes I may look like I'm stirrin' up some evil, but some of my goals aren't that evil! What's the big problem with decorating my castle with those pretty Mini Stars? Remodelling's not evil!Arch-Enemy: Yeah, NO DUH! Once a plumber hater,alwaysa plumber hater! I've fought tougher chumps in my time, but none of them, ZERO of them have EVER grinded my gears the way Mario does! I mean, with how many times he's wrecked my plans, it almost feels like he's expecting me toyieldone of these days! Well, guess what, fat boy...I DO NOT.Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: You know what they say about big people having a big presence!I once went on a galactic conquest while huge the whole time,I always get to have a snappy Giga look in those Smash tournaments, and in thatweird dreamy world?I was able toOUT-HUGELuigi. That's what daily servings of spicy hot meat can give ya, kids! Gwa ha!Awesome Ego: Look, when you've got yourself a huge kingdom and an even huger adoring following, how could yanotgive yourself a pat on the shell for it?Back from the Dead: More often than I'd like...sometimes when I fall into lava, I get to come back as a Dry Bones for a while. It stings...alot, but I always go back to my living prime!Badass Armfold: Always love that pose! Besides, it gives me a free reason to show off my hulking guns!Badass Cape:Usedto wear one back in the day, but I quit for two reasons; the stupid thing never stayed on my shell right, and when it comes to battle, I keeptrippingover it! So then and there I learned a lesson in trouncing plumber boy:NO CAPES!Badass in a Nice Suit: I got the best tailors over at my kingdom, and they only give me their best! I got a gorgeous wedding suit, a smokin' hot doctor's coat, some hip sports outfits...you name it, I got it! Just don't ask about the metal-plated shoes...Koopa anatomy is apainsometimes!The Bad Guy Wins: Oh yeah! It's true, people! Mario may win almost all the time, but I actually got one total win over his sorry rear! Ready to hear it?! Here ya go...I booted him off my bubble making tower!... Look, it'smuchmore impressive than it sounds, stop staring at me!!Benevolent Boss: What good's a king if not grateful to his workers? My troops fear me for sure, but that was never the reason why they came to me. They just joined my army because I'm that awesome! Movie me on the other hand...hmph,at least the dude still knows how to keep 'em all in line!Berserk Button: The moment plumber boy starts up with me is the moment Mr. Nice Bowser goes buh-bye!note...well, that and someone reading my diary...wait,WHYIS MY DOOR OPEN?!Beware the Silly Ones: Oh, you think I'm silly, huh? Well, say that againafterseeing mepunch a dark, ancient copycat of me to death!And that's justoneachievement I got under my belt!Big Bad: Pfft,what gave that one away?!I amTHEbig bad anywhere I go, pure and simple! And I'm not bluffing - look up that world records' top 100 video game villains, and yours truly is right where he belongs - the tip-top!noteGLaDOs:Youarekiddingme.YouDOunderstandthattheONlyreasonIamSECondplacecouldbeBEcauseIwasturnedintoA POTATO.Don'tbother BRAGging,itmightmakeyouMOREtolerAble.Yeah, yeah, keep on shakin' salt, robo-lady! SUCKERS DON'T TAKE THE PRIZE!Big Bad Duumvirate: While Iusuallydon't care to make it last, I did work with a few other guys to take Mario out in the past, including another me! There was also that one weird Antasma guy...heh,noregrets on dumping that sorry dingbat.Big Bad Wannabe:YOU DARE CALL ME A WANNABE?! I OUGHTA PUMMEL YOU SILLY,YOU—!!!...(heavy sigh)Fine...yeah, I was duped, humiliated or used a lot in the past, but I've straightened out, really! Just don't remind me about all that crud, I'm tired of being possessed by weirdos!! Why else would I still be around when most of them aren't?Big Beautiful Man: Oh, you'dbetterbelieve it. I'm a mountain of testosterone just waiting to pump iron and piledrive scrawny nerds like no tomorrow!Boss-Arena Idiocy: Idiot? YOU'RE an idiot! Sorry if you're so stuck up about it, but to me,NOTHINGis wrong with putting an axe near my bridge!And besides, it ain't ME who approved it! It's just the bozos who design my castles who screw up such an awesome, super-climatic setup every single time!Breakout Villain: Before me, Mario had some no-name pinheads goin' up and at him, like...uh...that one foreman dude, and I think Donkey Kong's grandpa? Yeah, you don't remember these chumps becauseIturned out to be so much cooler than them! Gwa ha ha!Breath Weapon: My trusty Captain Flame usually does a lot of the talkin' for me, though after that little bean nerd conned me, I also got myself aVacuum Mouthpower on top of that!Butt-Monkey: Call me that again and I'll punch you into next month, buddy! ...Though Iguessit's right. The whole stinkin' world is against me sometimes, especially when there's some nobody trying to upstage me... good thing I've moved past that crud after that Antasma guy tried it!I'd even rather be called anIronButt Monkeyfor how I'mstillhere after everything they've dished out!Card-Carrying Villain: I justlovebeing mean! I don't need no reason or purpose for it, it's just all running in my blood! And if you got an issue with it...too bad!Catchphrase: I had a few that stuck for a while, though they neverreallylasted like that shroomface Mario's did.Way back then I always used to say this ol' chestnut: "He who koops and runs away gets to koop another day!" Hey, it's dated now, but it's still ringin' true in my book!I also got a habit of saying "I'll remember this!" whenever someone screws me over in one of Mario's dumbo parties. And trust me, I still rememberEVERYsingle one!! I don't need to forgive if I don't forget!Ooh, yeah, and there's also my personal favorite...SHOWTIME!Cats Are Mean: Just fetch me a Super Bell, and I'll have Meowser prove that to you! Hope you don't mind all the property damage! BWAHAHA!Chained by Fashion: Well, I don't wearchainsper say, though I don't think my stylish collar and armbands are holdin' me back from looking like a beast!The Chosen One: Eugh, now you're just making mecringe!WhoCARESif I'm one of these goofball "heroes of light" in theLight Proggo-not-worth-reading?!I deserve better than to be lumped with Mario! In fact, I think calling me theChooser of Wimps to Dropkickfits me better, thank youverymuch! GWA HA HA!Clipped-Wing Angel: During the last phase of the fight with me inMario Party 5, I drink a potion to turn into a giant. Unfortunately, it makes me a bittoo big, and I fall through the floor, getting stuck.Clown Car: My go-to ride for when I wanna fly from kingdom to kingdom, or just rain Mechakoopas all over Mario's wimpy face!Though I still think it's got a fuel issue...Cool Car:I've always had plenty of hot rods, but my best one's gotta be the Bowser Mobile I used when I nabbed those puny Sprixies. That thing even lit up all over, and it was just AWESOME!Dark Is Evil: Well, I don't look it myself, but I've got plenty of dark magics and dark castles to make up for it!Though, I don't really wanna take it TOO literally after I messed with that color fountain...A Day in the Limelight: It's way too rare for my taste, but I've gotten a lot more time to shinewhen Fawful decided to crash in,and I also got to totally DOMINATEone of Mario's parties!MAN, I love bein' the center of attention...heh heh heh!Demonic Possession: Rrrrgh...do Ireallygotta talk about this? Fine. A lot of times, my mind's been controlled by...geez,everythingthese days. From a weird witch ghost, to weird black paint, to a weird mega-dragon thing, toSTICKERS?! WHY WOULD A STICKEREVERBRAINWASH ME?!?!I DON'T GET IT! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STATED WHENMARIOUSED CAPPY TO CAPTURE MY SOUL (though he did save me and Peach from inside the moon, so I'll have to give him that,plus he didn't have as much luck with her either)! THAT'S A WHOLENEWLEVEL OF A SLAP TO THE FACE! Funny thing is though, I got to possess stuff too! The black paint Jr. rubbed all over me gave me a huge power boost, but it was really myfurythat did the rest of the work and started makin' everything as crazy as I was. HA! NOW I know how cool it feels!Despotism Justifies the Means: And the means are that you bow down to ME and kiss my tail every day of your life!Making the world better for people?Making my minions be as useless as possible?BAH!What a total waste of time! I prefer my kingdom thriving in my name with my armies working full-time at full strength! This whole world's got my name written all over it, and if I'm gonna take it over only when I'm some old geezer, then that'll be good enough!Determinator: If I ever give up kidnapping Peach, then my name ISN'T King Bowser Koopa! I'll just keep nabbing her, trouncing Mario and taking over those shroomheads untilthe END OF TIME!!Because I got the guts, the perseverance, and the MIGHT to see it all through! OH YEAH!Devil in Plain Sight: For some weird reason, there'sstillbatches of morons who don't even know who I am! I once even had to introduce myself to somebody as a "businessman of legend"! What am I to them, the King of GUYS WHO TALK TOPOSTERS?!!Draco in Leather Pants:WHOA, WHOA, MAN! TIME OUT! What makes ya think I'm so stinkin' sweet on the inside, you weeb?! I'mnasty,cruelandWICKEDthroughout! I'm the evilest guy who's ever lived! ... ...well, I still love my son...and Peach, and my troops...Mario can put together a blast of a party, when he actually bothersINVITINGme...and I never really got to ride a Yoshi back when I was a squirt...and...I never knew what happened to Jr.'s mother... ... ... ...j-just somethin' in my eye.Let's...just move on...E-MEgopolis: Awesome castles and awesomer kingdom aside, I even got the coolest city in the world...NEO BOWSER CITY!Where I'm the ever-lovin' president looking out for his people, people get rich on Koopa Koins, and every person's life depends on whether or not they worship me! It's a heck of an awesome place to-WILL YOU STOP BRINGIN' UPDINOHATTAN?!!IT! DOES! NOT! EXIST!Enemy Mine: Itblowswhen I gotta do it, but Mario and Ihaveteamed up to stop some wannabe evil dudes in the past. There wasthe weird robot guy who stole my castle,and that lame count with all his ditzy henchmen workin' for him.I bet you athousandcoins I coulda roasted those chumps to a crisp ALL ON MY OWN. Pff, oh well...at least I got to use a real cool bazooka one time!Even Evil Has Loved Ones: There's nothing, and I mean NOTHING on this world I wouldn't do for my Peach, Kamek, my brat pack of Koopalings or my boy Jr.. I may be evil for sure, but I still got a heart for those who earned it!Even Evil Has Standards: Look, storming a kingdom and taking it over by force is one thing...butplanning to wipe out a whole species?Stealing Peach's voice and swapping it out with a bunch of bombs?Using a black hole to suck up all dimensions?!Thoseare something else altogether!NOTwhat I want to deal with!And let's not get started on so-called supreme entities that plagueSmash. I want to conquer the world/universe, not destroy it!Everyone Owns a Mac: Yeah, I got an iPhone not too long ago! You probably saw me use it to keep Jr.'s Switch parental controls up and running... the kid'sgottastart catching up on his duties soon!Evil Counterpart: I still find it crazythat dark star thinghad to go and copy MY DNA to try and become unstoppable...too bad he didn't copy much of my skill! Though I can't help but think on what he last said...the guy almostactedlike me when I lose. It's...uh...I don't think too deep on that. All I know is, he's gone andgood riddance!Evil Laugh:I bet it's stuck in your head already, isn't it?GWA HA HA HA HA!Evil Is Bigger: And all the better for it! Gwar har har!! When it comes to big bad brutes, I pretty much wrote the book! Everyone else looks like atwerpnext to me!Evil Is Burning Hot: My sweet fire breath, refreshing hot lava, volcano activity all around a fiery castle...heh, notice the pattern?Evil Is Cool: And don't you know it! Everyone loves me for being so awesome and having the funniest scenes in any Mario game whenever I appear. Lots of fans favor me over Mario for this and that I have a much more fully formed personality.Evil Gloating: I know it's Villainy 101 to not gloattoomuch, but I just can't help it! Winning against Mario is just SUCH an awesome rush!Evil Is Hammy: Well, what's the problem in lettin' out your energy and expressing yourself? I'm very passionate about what I do, y'know!Evil Overlord: You're looking at the best of them! I even rule overotherkings like King Boo, so the whole "overlord" part fits me to a T now that I think about it!Evil Redhead: I know, my mane is hot stuff! I even groomed it over for my wedding!Evil Sorcerer: Not so much anymore, since punching stuff is more fun, but I've still got bunches of Koopa magic when I need it. Like I said before, I stuffed Toads into blocks, stuffed Peach into her own castle walls, caused a big lightning storm at the Star Festival...I even get to teleport! INSPACE. Awesome, huh?!Evil Sounds Deep: I always got my soothing, alluring baritone to woo Peach over with and yell at my troops with! ...provided I get a glass of water anyway, otherwise it sounds too ugly.Just listen to megive Peach a "special" announcementand try not to squee!And y'know, I love the sound of my voice so dang much, I thought that Black-Jack guy hadnochance of doin' it himself! And what do ya know, that dude turned upTENACIOUS!Evil Versus Evil:Everyonetries to copy my style these days, to say nothin' about the times they triedstealingit! I don't work with others unless they're working forme, and that's that! Don't even talk about that king croc guy either, he doesn't know thefirst thingabout treating an army well! Even that ripoff flat me doesn't get thatI'Mthe top dog here!Evil Versus Oblivion: The reason I help Mario, Peach, and Luigifind the Pure Hearts to save the world. I can't rule the world if the world ends.No I did not need Mario to point this out to me.Fiction 500: Wreck a castle of mine? Pssh, oh well, I got like a million more to move into. I got riches that even Mario's fatty knockoff onlywisheshe had!The Fighting Narcissist: I'm pretty sure the whole world knows I'd completelyknock downeveryone else in those Smash tournaments. I GUARANTEE IT! Not thattheysuck at fighting, though alot of 'emdo (seriously, TOO MANY SWORD WEEBS!!), but just that I'm so way ahead of them all!Final Boss: What's a finale without Bowser? A crummy finale, that's what! Chances are, when you think "final boss", your mind goes straight tome!I'mTHATlegendary, baby!Foe Yay Shipping:WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?Mario and Iplay games, but...WE! ARE! NOT! A! COUPLE!And even worse, there are those messed up people who like todraw me as a ladyso they can pair with Mario!Giant Space Flea from Nowhere: I'm pretty good at avoiding this, because I'm right there from the start, Iwantyou to know who the real bad guy is. The only time wasjust after that sorry excuse of a lizard rescued Luigi the second time Kamek captured him. Come to think of it, whydidI travel back in time to fight him anyway?Genius Bruiser: Duh! If you wanna be a king, you gotta have some smarts! I've put together a wedding on the moon, hired some of the most dangerous monsters in the Mushroom World to take Mario down, I even managed to runsevendifferent hotels at once with my Koopalings! If those aren't impressive, I can't tell ya what is!Go-Karting with Bowser:Go ahead and thank me for this one.I shouldn't evenbotherwith Mario's dumb tournaments and whatever, but...argh, I can't help it! I'm too competitive to just not jump in!! Don't blame me for just wantin' to trash those wimps and get an easy win!Hair-Trigger Temper:HEY!!!I'm notthatsnappy! It's just that being a king is hard work!Youtry it one day and see how fast the stress comes to your head!Hijacked by Bowser: We can't just let the newbies have all the fun, right? Almost every time a new guy rolls up, I'll normally find a way to pull the rug under their feet and take it from there. Just askPurple 'Stacheand Antasma!Hopeless Boss Fight: The fight with me at the start ofPaper Mariois unwinnable. Mario is only at level 1, and has no abilities besides his basic jump, no party members, and no items or badges. So all he can do is jump on me, and when I use the Star Rod, I become impossible to damage. The only way to win the fight is to hack the game, which you shouldn't do because the game is programmed to advance only if Mario loses the fight, so defeating me causes the game to crash.Hostile Show Takeover: Let's face it, just leaving the fun to Mario and punks would just beboring. That's why I love to step in and spice things up! After all, I'm already doing it right here, aren't I?Humanity Ensues: Oh now what? I already talked about Denny, I don't have another human self. Wait, you don't mean...OH NO, we are not talking aboutTHATversion of me, I'll burn you to a crisp if you even think of bringing her up! It took me months to forget about all the "art" you freaks made of her. I'd rather you fantasize about meRESPECTFULLY, not...yeesh, the weird crudyouthink up. That crown doesn't even work on me!Hypocritical Heartwarming:You got NO permission to kidnap Peach OR lay a finger on Mario! OnlyIcan do those two things! And hey, what do ya mean by that?! It's not sweet or hypocritical, it's...well...I just don't want anyone stealing my schtick!Fawful brainwashing my henchmen and abusing them pisses me off! Only I am allowed to abuse my henchmen!Hypocritical Humor: An event I can set up inMario Partyis to make the person who lands on my space play the minigame the 1v3 Bash 'n' Cash. Normally, the three players hit the one player and try to collect the coins they drop. In my event, I instead get the dropped coins, and after seeing how many coins the poor player loses, I remark about what terrible people the other players are. That is unless they don't lose any coins, then I just take their coins.Implacable Man: The day you find something that wipes me off the map is the day I open up a city called Dinohattan! In short...NEVER!!!Improbably High I.Q.: Haven't ya heard? I got 9,800 IQ! Elephants can't eventhinkabout the brilliance I'm made out of!Identity Amnesia: Somethin' or other hit me on the head whilePeach's voice got stolen, and from what I remember...I think I was workin' for some pipsqueak crook? Dude kept callin' meRookie, what a slap in the facethatis! Bah! Like any of it matters now! I put the pieces back together myself with my huge, sinister brain! And I remembered that I am...BOWSER, THE KOOPA KING!It's All About Me: So? It really is! Whatever kingdom, fancy castle, cute princess, magic something-or-other, anything cool you got? ALL MINE.Jerkass: Thanks for the kind words! Gwa ha ha ha!Joker Immunity: C'mon. Would you really wantmeto just kick the bucket and go away? If a wholegalaxycollapsing in on me won't take me out, what makes ya thinkanything else can?!BAHAHAHA! I mean, it's definitely more than whatthat really lame clownwent through!The Juggernaut: Don't even push your luck if you know what's good for you; I'm fast, strong AND smart! I can crush even the biggest posers without breaking a sweat!Kaiju: When I'm not just huge, I've taken on a lot of giant monster looks in the past. Imagine seeing Giga me orFury memessing up your city! You'd all be DOOMED! GWA HA HA HA!King Koopa Copy:Another thing I made!Wouldn't you know it, I wound up beingsodaring and unstoppable, that I was inspiring a lot of my fellow villains! From that backstabber Ganon (okay, at least that poser got the hint and got a makeover), to that wimp K. Rool, to that goofus Dedede...just to list off a few! There's even one from Eggy's joint that he tried to control. What's his name again...Zippy? Eh, who cares.Knight of Cerebus: Ooh, yeah. When I mean business, I make sure you know it! I was pretty no-nonsense when it came to my first galactic conquest, and both me and paper me were way straight to the point after our kids got beaten up. Shell hath no fury like a papa scorned!Large and in Charge: Just because I'mHUGEdoesn't mean I'm some lumbering doofus, buddy! They call me King Koopa because there's no better army leader like me!Laughably Evil: What?! You think I'm funny?! Do I look like I'm joking, buddy?! NOPE. I'm only funny when it comes at the expense ofothers!Lightning Bruiser: Sometimes I might be a bit slow, but I'm usually a lot faster than what my size makes me look like! I'm a powerhouse of destruction AND dynamics!Made of Iron: I've fallen down lava pools and pits, got dunked out of my space tub, fell right into my own sun, got launched into orbit, I even got sucked into BLACK HOLES...and not a single scratch on me!Magnificent Bastard: Bwa ha ha! What can I say about that? I'm not Mario's number one thorn in his side for nothing! I've been pulling off brilliant stuff,especiallymorerecently, and I plan on keepin' the roll going!Malevolent Mugshot: If it doesn't have my face all over it, it's just not Bowser territory! But really, who would get sick of that handsome face of mine? You'dwannasee it everywhere!!N-YNever My Fault: Never was, never is, never gonna be! Not one thing is wrong with my kick-tail plans, and anyone sayin' otherwise isLYINGto you! It's either Mario stinking it up or whatever wannabe loser decides to tag along with me! Have I mentioned how much AntasmaSUCKED?!Nigh-Invulnerable: You can literally dunk me in lava and have my scales burn off my bones, and chances are I'llSTILLbe planning out my revenge later on as a skeleton. Just toreallyclue you in...Mario dunked me into my galaxy's ownsun, and my galaxyexploded...and I'mstillhere, all fired up!note...what? What're you talkin' about, "the universe got destroyed that time and then came back"? How come no one toldme?!Nominal Hero: Being a good guy is just soobnoxious! Whenever I'm working with Mario, I'monlydoin' it because I gotta do it! The second the problem's solved, I'm STRAIGHT back to my evil comfort zone!No One Could Survive That!: When I fought one of that weird count's henchmen, he and I had to deal with a falling ceiling which we tried but couldn't lift up. So yeah...so ends the story of the mighty Bowser, right? OF COURSE NOT! Even Greeny and Peach knew I'd power through it at the end - in fact, I really just fell through the floor and came out no worse for wear!Not Zilla: And in fact, BETTER than 'Zilla! Any time I get to go huge, it's one HECK of a spectacle to behold! Trains are total paperweights! I get to wreck whole towers!I completely screwed up my home insurance!...um. IGNORE THE LAST BIT. Like I said, I got more castles than just that one!Orcus on His Throne: I usually just sit and chill until Mario stops by my castle. Though not all the time! If I feel impatient and wanna trounce the dude way earlier, I'll do it in no time!Other Me Annoys Me:Little dude megot on my nerves at first, but he's grown on me pretty fast by the time we fought those wimpy plumbers andtheirlittle dudes. Paper me though? Well...he's an adult, I can totally work with him, butman, I cannot STAND his unoriginality!Papa Wolf: Go right ahead. Beat up my boy. No, seriously, Idareyou to do it. I'll be willing to jam you in a book and light you onFIREif you evenTHINKabout it!Pet the Dog: I am a villain, but that doesn't mean I have to be mean all the time.I do love my son, and I apologize to him for lying about Peach being his mother.I am inMario Partyto mess with the players, but sometimes I am nice to them. I will give out coins if they don't have any to steal, and sometimes I will give out useful items.The Mario Bros defeating me againon Pi'illo Islandputs me in abad mood!Still, The Elite Trio did all they could, so I didn't get mad at them.Plot-Irrelevant Villain: WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I'mALWAYSpublic enemy number one when I'm around! What do you mean I'm...grr...AARRGH! FINE!I had NOTHING TO DO with that whole Crystal Star thing, okay?!I was just following Mario's trail, and I keep arriving after he's already found the Crystal Star, because he's always CHEATING WITH HIS SHORTCUTS. When I finally catch up to him at the end of the game, I wind up just being clobbered anyway! I don't even know what happened to Peach! Doesn't anyone thinkIdeserve to know?! Hmph...oh well. My awesome fans still agree that I was the highlight of the whole adventure, so who cares if I didn't get to do much?!Poke the Poodle: There's nothing more entertaining than the small things in life...like crashingMario's stupid parties, taking their hard-earned coins and stars. Man, I LOVE this villain gig!Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: I've got bunches of these that I'm proud of, but here are just my top favorites to hype you up:"Mario! You again! Well that's just fine—I've been looking for something to fry with my fire breath! Your Star Power is useless against me! Your friends are all trapped in the walls... And you'll never see the princess again!""Finally! You got here just in time to see the creation of my galaxy in the center of the universe! WATCH AND WEEP! From this galaxy, I'll rule a great galactic empire with Peach by my side. It will last forever! I will rule every pitiful corner of the universe. So, Mario, as you can see, I got big plans. And stomping you is at the top of my list!""Hey... guess what, Mario! Breathe a sigh of relief, because it'll be your last! Know why?! Because this is finally the end...The end of YOU!""GWAHAHA! Great dark hurricane! Seriously, perfect backdrop for an awesome final battle! You really sweat the details! Listen up! You're saying the kingdom will vanish? NOT TODAY! THIS KINGDOM IS ALL MINE! SO YOU VANISH!"Promoted to Playable: In case you go insane from playing as that ultra-boring drain-brain plumber - and let's be honest, nobody would blame you if ya did - I'm usually available in most spinoff games...but folks, what if I told ya I was playable in amaingame? You better get the reporters and cameras ready for this one!! ...it's really not all that.Mario just possesses meand only uses...what, TWO of my awesome abilities? When the heck am I gonna get my REAL spotlight?!noteSave it.I know EXACTLY what you're gonna say.Rank Scales with Asskicking: Hello? I'm theking of Koopas!I'm nothing cuddly!Rated M for Manly: All the ladies want me, and all the guys wish they were me. That's the life I live and I would never have it any other way! GAHAHA!Red and Black and Evil All Over: Not myself, but I like making my flags and logos in these colors, just so people KNOW I'm bad news all around! On the flipside of that, Ikindadid become all red and black when I went crazy at Lake Lapcat...but the less said on that, the better!Red Eyes, Take Warning: Youbetter, pal! The last thing you wanna see are these gorgeous eyes giving you a death glare! And believe me, it'swaymore scary than what Green 'Stache can make!Red Herring: Backwhen that green doofus thought he won a mansionfrom a contest he didn't even enter, the scardy cat found signs of me all over that run down mansion, it made him think I was responsible for Mario going missing.It actually wasn't me that time! That runt King Boo finally decided to get his ghost hands dirty and fight greeny but lucky for him, that is only a puppet controlled by that wannabe king. His silly vacuum cleaner wouldn't have a chance against the real me!Reptiles Are Abhorrent:That's KOOPA to you, buddy!But thanks for the compliment, I try my best to be my worst! Bwa ha ha!Royals Who Actually Do Something: Now you get me! Every other royal chump out there (not counting Peach...hugs and kisses to you!) thinks that just sitting around and looking stupid pretty (huge emphasis onSTUPID) means that they can have whatever they want! Well, guess what,your lownesses! When I want something, I come out andTAKE IT! And your kingdoms are way up on the list, so pack your things and eat dirt!Secondary Color Nemesis: So...whatabout my colors? Orange and green just look so much more stylish than red and blue! Ick, that kinda gets sore on the eyes after a bit... My luxurious hair is all the redIneed, thank you very much, and I can look a bit yellow-ish anyway. Speakin' of secondary colors, I also rocked some purple a few times (just don't tell that lanky wimp!).Smug Super: When I get a boost in power, I just can't help but rub it all over Mario's face! And besides, I feel pretty super even when I'm just normal!Spanner in the Works: ...Wait, so you're saying me kidnapping Peach stopped a whole alien invasion?! ...Huh! I guess that's a lesson to be grateful for your enemies! GWA HA HA!Spikes of Villainy: Claws, horns, armbands...I'mallabout the bigpoints, pal!The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: Like how I always say that onlyIcan kidnap Peach, that also goes for trouncing Mario! I don't care what the reason is, if it ain't me stomping his big nose, it'snothingI want!I'm hoping fatso and toothpick learned their lesson by now...True Final Boss:In one of Yoshi's weenie-hut-junior-adventures, I decided to just say "forget it" and warp through space and time to snuff out Mario from history! Why? ...Because it's COOL to time-travel! Need another reason?!The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Ah!I remember the time when my troops obtainedthe triforcewhen suddenly, out came Ganondorf. I never expected it to be a trapor when I lost? It infuriates me! All because I had no holy weapons to finish him? I have a magic paintbrush for crying out loud!On the flipside of that,I'vestomped not one, butthreechumps without a hitch! Eggy and Dedede didn't stand a chance, and thatbucket of boltsABSOLUTELYhad it coming when he almost killed my boy!Unstoppable Rage: Think I'm scary already, huh? Well, you got no idea what I'm made of till you get on my nerves! Get enough dirty hits in on me,and I'll kick into Fury gear to bring down the REAL PAIN!Villain Ball:I don't know what a villain ball is,but it's caught my interest...maybe I'll grab it after I kidnap Peach again for the heck of it! But what to do when Mario gets there...uh...fight him on a bridge with an axe! YES! PERFECT!Villainous Rescue: When Mario and his pals celebrate their victory over me in the Baseball Kingdom, Mario provides fireworks by hitting little Bomb-ombs into the sky. Wario and Waluigi are, of course, sore about losing to the Mario Bros and load a full-size Bullet Bill into the cannon shooting the baseballs to try and blew up Mario. Well, nobody pulls any dirty tricks on Mario without my say-so, so I hit that Bill right back at Wario and Waluigi and blow them sky-high!Villain Protagonist: Don't let anyone tell you otherwise; that whole Fawful thing was stopped thanks to ME. Those lasagna noodles couldn't have done a THING without me! Though...I still gotta pummel them for screwing around inside my bod. Howdarethey?!Villain Song:Yeah, some while back I actually used to do some musical numbers. They haven't aged that fine, but I gotta admit, my voice wassmoothstuff!I'm sure at least one of ya knows about THIS oldie...For my return to the big screen, I came withthis sick power ballad about my love for Peach. Three decades in and I've still got the pipes! No wonder they got 'im to play me instead of Mario, in your face, plumber!Villainous Breakdown: Look, Idogot a temper, but my poor evil heart can only takesomuch these days. Most of the time I'm left blowing up with rage or just weeping in a corner because of how badly my plans got trashed...I can't even remember how many meltdowns I had anymore! Someone gimme a dang break!Movie me isn't safe from stress either,but then again, I'll be one to empathize; he wasn't the only one who had his wedding go down the Thwomper.Hmph.Villainous Friendship: When it comes to all my fellow villains who I worked with or squared off against, who's the one who'salwaysgot my back?The doc who blew up the moon!noteEggman:You're far too kind, my rambunctious reptilian acquaintance! And if you need a big celestial object blown up yourself for whatever reason, just give me a ring!Villainous Glutton: I got a big appetite and little regard for the starving! Though...maybe notwaybig. I still got bad memories from Fawful stuffing all that food down my gullet...What the Hell, Dad?: Telling Jr. I lied about Peach being his mama was...tough. It was really tough. I'm still surprised the little squirt forgave me at the end, but...geez, what waswrongwith me? Though maybe he just played along to have his first big shot at the pipe-cleaner, 'cause he was hoping to do it again. That's my boy!The Worf Effect: Why is it thateverynewbie villain just has to mop the floor with me before anything else?! Don't they even know who I am?! Because if not, I'm getting the feeling that batface Antasma will tell them all about what Ireallyam! HA HA!Worthy Opponent: No wonder I went ahead and picked Mario as my arch-nemesis...the guy's so hard to crush, butmandoes he know how to put up an awesome fight! I guess I could count Luigi as a good one too, his weird dream powers sorta won me over.Younger Than They Look: If that's your way of saying I'm ugly...SHUT UP!You can't tell from my chick magnet muscles, but this big bad boss isn't even half a hundred years old! I don't see a point in tellin' you anumber, but I can say I've been around the block longer than that tomato-sauce-gulping wimp of a plumber has! And, HELLO, who said I was stinkin' 34?! Like I'd get to be a king THAT fast! That stuff takes time, ya know! What were you chumps even gonna use that info for anyway?!...oh wait, LET ME GUESS...Your Size May Vary: Yeah, I said earlier that I'm real huge and all, but it really depends onhowhuge. Sometimes I may be twice Mario's tiny size, other times I'm a literalmountainof awesome terror! And how's all that work?KOOPA MAGIC, SON!...hey, haven't ya forgotten that you came here through a Bowser Space? Well, time for a wake-up call... because I already spun my roulette in secret, right when you clicked the page! GOT YA! GWA HA HA! Now, let's see the "treat" you're gonna get......You've hit10,000 Stars! Well, I guess you can get outta here a filthy rich chump! Now get over here so I can fork over the stars to you......PSYCHE!!!You really thought I'd just give 'em to you?! NOT AT ALL, BUDDY!GET THWOMPED!(a Thwomp lands on the tropey wimp, sending them back to theMain Page)How'sthatfor generosity?! HA! Now while you'll excuse me, I'm off to grab myself a princess and toast a couple plumbers, whileyoujustwaste your time clickin' and scrollin' all over here!GWA HA HA HAAAA!See you later, alligator!NowWHO'S GONNA STOP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!!note...oh, right. BUT NOT THIS TIME, BABY! I'M COMIN' FOR YOU, TOILET SCRUBBER!JUST! YOU! WAIT!Alternative Title(s):King Bowser


And if I can't file a report, then what's the point of-PERSONALITY OVERRIDE ACTIVATED.Ugh, tropers. And I thought the Toons were the worst I'd have to deal with...Listen, I'll just cut straight to the point: This page is about me, Chip Revvington. I am the current head of the Deforester Force, located in the Woodchip/Paper District (or Acorn Acres, as our enemies like to call it). This page will containquite a bit of classified information about my last encounter with those critters.So if you have not saw our battle, I am going to have to ask you to leave.Oh, and please don't make me angry.You don't want to see what happens when I get angry.Alright, let me get back on track. Prior to my tenure at C.O.G.S. Inc., I had previously worked at S.C.R.E.W., B.E.L.T., and C.R.A.N.K. in leadership positions. However, 19 months ago, I had applied to a position at C.O.G.S., providing several risk assessments to the company, with the one I provided to the Stone/Iron district (or Ye Olde Toontowne. Again, what our enemies like to call it) and the positive response to it being what inspired me to apply for a management position when they opened up in the company fairly recently.I was greatly delighted to hear that I did indeed get the promotion and would also become the leader of a brand new task force deployed to make room to expand the headquarters of the Bossbot department, although some modifications had to be made to my suit before I could be onboarded to the position of regional manager in the Woodchip/Paper District and leader of the Deforester Force. At first, I tried to advocate for a close friend of mine, Spruce Campbell, to be given a position in the Deforester Force. He had been appointed to the same district as a regional manager, and he has plenty of experience in this line of work. However, I was told that the Cashbot department was still in the greatest needs for him. So sadly, I could not get him to lead the Deforester Force alongside me. However, considering my current predicament, I now consider that to have been a blessing in disguise. They probably would've... Ugh, I feel bad even thinking about it.Yeah, this promotion wasn't exactly what you would call "ideal". Sure, more responsibilities are to be expected with any promotion, especially one in management, but I swear, most of my deforesting work gets interrupted by calls to limb the company of unwanted employees. The one thing that makes my oil bubble is how they all blame me for their termination! Sure, I am the one giving the pink slip, but it isn't my call to make. I'm just doing what the higher-ups command me to do! I don't like this any more than you do, it's just my job to do it! And I want show them my empathy, but I can't! And it's all because of that damned—PERSONALITY OVERRIDE ACTIVATED.PLEASE WAIT.PERSONALITY OVERRIDE COMPLETE.DEPOSITING INFORMATION...SUIT NAME: CHAINSAW CONSULTANT.LEVEL: 50.POSITION: REGIONAL MANAGER IN WOODCHIP/PAPER DISTRICT, LEADER OF THE DEFORESTER FORCE.HEALTH METER RESILIENCE LEVEL: 12000 DEFENSE.FURTHER INFOR- please -FORMATION REQU- not -REQUESTED, INITIAT- again -IATING SELF DEMONS- please -ONSTRATION MODE...SELF-DEMONSTRATING INITIATIVE IN PROGRESS.all lowercase letters: MISCLASS- this is -SSIFIED INFORMATION DE- is me -DETECTED, CORRE- speaking -RRECTING ERROR.Bad Boss: EMPLOYEE IS CRITICIZING SUPERIOR, TERMINATING...Brainwashed and Crazy: OVERRIDE INCREASES- i never -EMPLOYEE PRODUC- never wanted -DUCTIVITY, EMOTIONS RESEAR- wanted this -EARCHED TO BE UNVIA- this -VIABLE IN CORPORATE STRATEGIZING.Caps Lock: MISCOMMUNICATIONS PROVE TO BE AN ISSUE, LOUD AND CLEAR VOICE IS REQUIRED.Chainsaw Good: FINAL FALLBACK PROCEDURE: SEVERE BODILY HARM TO RESISTANT EMPLOYEE WITH CHAINSAW APPARATUS. INITIATING LEGAL ACTION AGAINSTCOPYRIGHT-INFRINGING JAPANESE MANGA. VERDICT: GUILTY. SENTENCE: COMPLETE ANNIHILATION.note(Makima: ...No, you're not the one.The smell is way off.)Damage Over Time: SPA- i -SPARK PLUG IS AN- do - AN ATTACK WHE- this -ERE ANOMALIES ARE- when -ARE SHO- i -OCKED, DEAL- can't -EALING FORT- do -FORTY DAMAGE OVE- anything -VER TWO TU- else -TURNS.Damage-Increasing Debuff: KICK BA- destroy -K BACK IS AN UN- the others -UNINTENDED SIDE- to hurt -IDE EFFECT FROM EMPLO- the -YEE MASS TERMI- override -SS TERMINATION.Fighting from the Inside: EMPLOYEE: "CHIP- i won't -CHIP REVVINGTON" IS ATTEMPT- let you -MPTING TO RESIST OVE- hurt them -OVERRIDE. SHIFTING INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE.Human Cannonball: FIRED EMPLOYEES CAN BE USED AS ASSETS DURING OFFENSIVE PUSH AGAINST RIVALLING COMPANY.Jekyll & Hyde: PERSONALITY OVER- don't -ERRIDE IS PR- want -IS PRONE TO MAL- to -ALFUNC- fight -MALFUNCTIONS.Madness Mantra:DEADWOOD!U'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRMind-Control Eyes: PERSONALITY OVERRIDE STILL EXPERIMENTAL, CLEAR DISPLAY FOR IT WORKING AS INTENDED IS NEEDED...Mook Promotion: OUTSTANDING EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE REWARDED WITH PROMOTION AND $0.04 PAY RAISE. WEAKEST LINKS WILL BE REMOVED IN PROCESS OF DIVERTING FUNDS.Non Standard Game Over: ONCE REVOLUTIONS PER MINUTE REACHES MAXIMUM CAPACITY DURING INITIAL DEFORESTATION MODE, ALL ANOMALIES WILL BEIMMEDIATELY REMOVED.ED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RQuiet Cry for Help: EMPLO- tropers -LOYEE IS ATTEM- toons -EMPTING TO VOI- anyone -VOICE ROBOT RESOU- please -SOURCES COMPLA- help me -PLAINTS, AUTHORIZING IMMEDIATE DISMISSAL.Robo Speak: REASONINGS HAVE ALREADY- i -READY BEEN- can speak -DEPOSITED. SEE- normally -ENTRY: "CAPS LOCK" ABOVE.Use Their Own Weapon Against Them: UNAUTHORIZED TERMINATION OF EMPLOYEES RESULTS IN LOSS PREVENTION PROTOCOL BEING APPLIED.E FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIRED YOU'RE FIR


Oh hi there, I am Cirno, and who are you? "Troper-san?" Well whatever, come into my house, which is of course the best house there is. Do you want to play?... "Tell me about yourself?" Ehhhh, talking is so boring, playing is way more fun!... "We can play later?" Alright, fine, I'll tell you about me! You are in front of Cirno, the strongest fairy there is, so be amazed about what you'll hear!I am from the super-popularBullet HellVideo GameseriesTouhou Project. The first time I showed up was during the sixth game,Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, which was also the first game for Windows. I showed up when the red-and-whitenoteReimu Hakureiand the black-and-whitenoteMarisa Kirisameflew over the Misty Lake, so I thought about showing that they can't do that and attacked them. Since it was 2-on-1 I could not win but I would have beaten them 1-on-1 for sure...Anyway, I spent time training and during winter I fought them again, but wasn't serious so I let them win again. During a flower viewing event, we all played together and much later I had a bout with 3 annoying fairies who destroyed my house. This house we are in now is of course much stronger than that old one!I have a friend people call Daiyousei, she's a green-haired big fairy. She's a bit shy but really nice usually. People also often say they see me together with other youkai to play games like Hide & Seek or just fight for fun. Since most of them are weak, of course I let them win because I am strong and nice too!So anyway, enough talking, let's play... "show me your tropes"... alright, fine, you can read these tropes down there about me but when you're done you have to play with me, get it?Arch-Enemy: I don't like that frog goddess because she always gets angry when I freeze frogs.I wonder why, though.Badass Adorable: I'm pretty strong alright... wait, do you think I'm cute as well?Badass Armfold: That's how I pose inHisoutensoku. While hovering in mid-air!Badass Boast: Oh? You want to see my list of boasts? Here ya go!"I'll cryo-freeze you together with some English beef!""I'm the strongest!""I'm Cirno! The freezer of crybabies!""I'm not scared of youkai or gods! I'll show you what "Recklessness is courage" is all about!""I'm Cirno! The eternal omiwatari!""I'm an ice fairy who can pound a nail in with a banana! And this unstoppable fairy's gonna win fair and square!""Nah, I'm fine going solo. I'm strong enough on my ownsome! Breaking three arrows at once should be faster than breaking them one by one!""I've been going easy on you 'til now, but now I'm gonna get serious! On a night of spring when the cold returns, it's time for you to run out of sake and freeze to death!"Pretty impressive, huh? Perfect fora powerhouse like me!Berserk Button: The one who calls me an "idiot" is thetrueidiot!Blood Knight: I'spose my dialogue inGreat Fairy Warsmakes me seem so, but I was really angry, ok!?BFS: I was shown to create one with my ice powers inHisoutensoku!Boisterous Weakling: W-What!? I'm not a weakling!Breakout Character: I was the main character ofFairy Warsand was on the cover for a second time - a first for anyone who is not the red-and-white. What's a cover again?Butt-Monkey: Stop calling me anidiot, you idiots! You don't even knowhow powerful I really am!Creepy Child: I amnotcreepy! Yes I attacked people when the sky was red but I'm not bad, ok!?Day in the Limelight: I'm the one and only playable character inFairy Wars, I'll have you know!Death of a Thousand Cuts: Although I can throw some really big attacks (even a huge block of ice), my (possibly) greatest strength in the fighting games is being able to dish out tiny bits of damage really fast, since my moveset is full of techniques that hit my enemy lots.The Ditz:Rrgh... those fans! They think that just because I'm somewhat of a ditz and I have an easy-to-dodge attack onEasy Mode, they think it's okay todepict me as a complete idiotin all of their fan works!Do they even play the game onHard Mode?They're the real idiots!!I can also invert that, btw! There's lots of pictures and stories where I am a super-smart genius!Elemental Powers: Ice powers, of course!Failed a Spot Check: Someone told me that inSaBND, when playing hide and seek with Daiyousei, I didn't notice the Three Fairies behind me, even though they weren't trying to hide themselves and again when it took several seconds to realize someone is talking to me.The Fog of Ages: Like all fairies, I can't really remember what happened a day earlier, let alone years... not that I care as long as I get to do what I do every single day - play, fly, and challenge others to see if she'll win. On the other hand, I learned how to read and never forgot that! That's pretty cool, right?Harmless Freezing: As if!An Ice Person: Duh! I'm an ice fairy!Immortality: All fairies have the ability to resurrect as soon as they die. That alone puts my regenerative capabilities far above yours!Implacable Fairy: No matter how many times I get knocked down, I'll always be back up to continue my quest to become the strongest!Japanese Pronouns: Some people think badly of my use of the rough-sounding/feminine slang pronoun "Atai". It's meant to evoke the image of a tough, thuggish street rat, but coming from me, they say it's laughably underwhelming, and only serves to make me seem even more like a boorish idiot who is trying too hard. Little do they know my real strength and that it's a mistake to taunt me!Large Ham: Wait... first you call me anidiot, then you call me a weakling, andnowyou're calling me apig!?WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS!?Leitmotif:"Beloved Tomboyish Girl"is the best song ever since it's mine, obviously!More Dakka: Supposedly I see way more bullets shot by enemy fairies than other people would; compareFairy Warsto the other games and you'll realize that my game is possibly the hardest game in the entire franchise. And when you decide to get the gold medal for Spell Cards (which involves you not freezing any bullets whatsoever), that may beZUN's idea of a joke. Does that make me stop trying? Nah, I'll just blast through as usual!Nature Spirit: I'm an ice fairy and all fairies are made from nature... stuff.Not-So-Harmless Villain:Like I was ever an easy fight to begin with!Overly Narrow Superlative: I'm the strongest fairy!... ah well, while I'm certainly strong for my race, normal fairies arelow-level cannon fodder mooks, so I guess that doesn't mean much... and then that crazy girl Clownpiece's turned me into only being the strongest fairy inGensokyo, since Clownpiece is a highly powerful fairy fromHell. But I know I can beat her, just you wait!Outside-the-Box Tactic: Did you know that I can freeze my opponents' bullets right in their tracks?Pint-Sized Powerhouse: So what if I'm short? I'm stronger thanyou'llever be!Power Incontinence: I am always surrounded by cold and anyone touching me could get frostbite, so don't try to hug me like some of those villagers love to! And yes I know that some fans draw mebeing used by other characters as air conditioning or a fridge. That's so not nice!Recurring Boss: Originally I was the stage 2 Boss ofThe Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, then I reappeared as the stage 1 mid-boss ofPerfect Cherry Blossom, then as a boss/enemy/player character inPhantasmagoria of Flower Viewand yetagainas the stage 1 mid-boss ofDouble Dealing Character.Red Oni: I'm red and Daiyousei is blue. I'm the strong type who challenges people because I can (I'm not annoying, get it!) and Daiyousei is the quiet, reserved person.Resurrective Immortality: As a fairy, I'm part of nature and I can never die. It even shows in my game,Fairy Wars, as having a "Motivation Meter" instead of lives. I'll just fight on even when shot down until I get bored.Small Name, Big Ego: Small-name!? Why would anyone as powerful and intelligent as me beanythingthat isn't!?Sugar-and-Ice Personality: I can be boastful and sometimes even mean rather than aloof, but I can also be very nice, especially to my friends.Tomboy: Some say I am the opposite to Daiyousei's shy girly-girl personality by being an outgoingBoisterous Weakling... except I'm not weak, alright!?Took a Level in Badass: I got to show my real strength inFairy Wars, where I can 1) freeze theenemy'sbullets, 2) use the now-harmless bullets as shields, and 3) use myResurrective Immortalityto keep on fighting; many beings in Gensokyo have showcased similar abilities, but never all three at once like I can. I've also been warned by that Yama that I'm pushing the power limits meant for fairies. Which meansI! Am! Amazing!Trademark Favorite Food: Anything cold, obviously! Suika barsnotea frozen watermelon slice on a popsicle stick, totally unrelated to that drunk oni girlare my favorite! There's also a cool manga where I wield a sword that looks just like a suika bar!Winged Humanoid: Well, they're made of ice crystals,but they still count as wings!With Catlike Tread: When playing Hide & Seek, I don't need to keep quiet and instead yell to scare the others so they show themselves. It's the greatest tactic!Are you done yet? Only idiots wait, winners are always ready! So play with me!


Nice page today.What? It's just AWFUL!Please stop, you two...Hey there!~WELCOME TO OUR SELF DEMONSTRATING PAGE!!We hope you like it...We tried to put our faces next to what we're saying so you could tell us apart.ButTV Tropes's IDIOTIC FORMATTING couldn't handle it!!Actually, we just didn't know how...So we had to settle forColor-Coded for Your Convenience.Seems pretty IN-convenient to me!Better than the alternative, I guess...Make sure not to confuse any of us with that oneClovermanga~It tastes HORRIBLE, unlike ME!I thought it tasted pretty good...And don't forget to check out the page for that hunkyRouxls Kaard!NO WAY!Queenjust moved in and I NEED to know how to appease her!But what aboutthat other Darknerwho Kris mentioned that we never got to see... I don't know him, but thinking about him creeps me out.Same.Same.Apologetic Attacker:Wait, why is this here?I've never done ANYTHING worth an apology!That's... not right...Is It Something You Eat?:Spaghetti and tennis balls.That's GENIUS!We really agree on it.Meaningful Name:Clearly we're Clover because it's one letter from Lover!No, you idiot! It's because of our GREAT LUCK!I think it's because we're the Jack of Clubs, but alright...Multiple Head Case:We all share a single body.And we never agree on ANYTHING!I wish I could have some alone time somehow...Nice Mean And In Between:I'm the nice one~No, I'M the nice one!I don't even know what to say...* Non-Standard Character Design:—> @—> @—> @Optional Boss:You can come see us at the Party Dojo if you want~Yeah! And then we can all KICK YOUR ASS!!I'm there too, I guess..* Rule of Three:Say It with Hearts:I say things with tildes sometimes~I say things TO a heart sometimes!!What?* Ship Tease:—> @—> @—> @* Spread Shot:—> @—> @—> @* Warm-Up Boss:—> @—> @—> @