The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser. — Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-10-30 00:00:00

SUPPLEMENT TO THE LIVERPOOL STAN 158 apologies for leaving me, but said that as one of them would be certain of being seized by the tiger if they remained, and no one could say which, they thought it best that all should try at least to escape, and I readily forgave them ; after which they bore me home with more than usual alacrity, and I enjoyed my re pose all the more sweetly for the danger I had escaped. —Autobiography of James Silk Buckingham. PASSENGERS BY AN EXCURSION TRAlN.—Facing us sat an old woman, dressed in a gown of very seedy black. For some time she had been silent ; but as the train went on, she too had yielded to the mys terious influence,and had become quite chatty. Her first attempt at conversation occurred when we were about half-way on our - journey. She had then timidly ven tured to inquire if she were not near Portsmouth. On being answered in the negative, she once more sank back into silence. Again and again, at intervals of very few minutes, the same question was put ; until, being told that she must wait at least another hour, she seemed resolved to make the best of it, and set hard to work at eating bread and butter. All kinds of luggage were strictly prohibited in the excursion train ; but by a dexterous adjustment of her shawl at the station, the old lady had managed to smuggle in her basket. As time went on, she grew impatient, and often strained her eye across the landscape, in hopes to catch a glimpse of anything that looked like Portsmouth. No wonder she was anxious. When she at last became communicative, we learned that she was going down to see her son. His ship had arrived at Spithead but the day before, and as " she hadn't seen the poor dear boy for nigh upon two year, she thought she might spare a few shillings, just to see him now he was in England. It wasn't often that she spent money for her own pleasure, For she had three other children quite dependent on her, and it was very little she could do for them." Poor woman ! A very common person, we have no doubt. In fact, we know she was, for she accepted beer when the bottle was handed to her by a neighbour, and, thanked him kindly for it. Common though she was, the mother's heart blessed the invention of excursion trains. There was a young gentleman seated in a corner of our carriage, who studiously avoided any intercourse with his fellow-passengers. He must have been a lawyer's clerk, or some one else accus tomed to move in good society. He smoked cigars, which he carried in an elaborately-embroidered case, and drank brandy-and-water, to which he used a glass —a luxury not common in that carriage, the majority drinking from the neck of the bottle. This poor young gentleman we felt for deeply. He was so obviously out of his element ; he seemed so very much afraid that any one should see him in such company, and was so evidently there under protest and without prejudice, that it was really pitiable. We trust that he enjoyed himself when he arrived in Portsmouth. He cer tainly did not upon the journey. Neither did an old gentleman who sat beside him. While all around were chatting, laughing, and drinking in draughts of happiness, as they where whirled across the fair land scape, he seemed to think the whole affair a nuisance— a disagreeable necessity, the sooner fulfilled the better. For a long way he slept. Then he tried to read. Then again sat bolt upright on his seat, his hands in his pockets, and looking straight before him, frowned on those who were so very merry all around him. What did this man here ? While every one else had come out expressly to be happy, what business had that frowning face amongst them ? It was clear that he was no excursionist ; not he. We felt convinced at once that his journey to Portsmouth was purely a matter of business, and that he had taken our train for cheapness, not for jollity. Out upon this obtaining carriage under false pretences !—Dickens's Household Words. Odessa, resolved to bombard the - city." The wicked print then added, "the Emperor of Russia will not visit Odessa." Haply, his Imperial Majesty has no taste for fireworks SPANISH ARITHMETIC.—In a Spanish paper there is an account of the execution of twenty-five rebels. The writer declares that " the rebels were all of them taken out, and shot by fours." This comes of a na tion never paying its debts ; it inevitably loses the knowledge of the first elements of arithmetic. "SPIRIT OF PUNCH." NEW MOTTO FOR THE CITY.—The Rising Sol. POLITICAL TURNlPS.—Ministers cannot understand agriculture. At least they do not appear to be aware of the importance of cultivating Swedes. IMPORTANT FROM GREECE.—The King of Greece has changed his Ministry ! It is a remarkable fact, and one of almost equal importance to Europe, that on the same day he also changed his—shirt. CAUSE AND EFFECT.—The Austrian Correspon dence declared that " eighty ships were in sight of VARIETIES. THE PRINCESS AND THE TUTOR. AN emperor's daughter, who was delighted with the profound learning, the lively wit, and the strict ad herence to the precepts of morality and religion, which characterized her tutor, one day inadvertently made this remark to him : " What a pity that so fine a soul as yours is not in a more agreeable body." He made in reply, the following inquiry : "In what sort of vessels, madam, is your father's wine preserved ?" " In earthen vessels," was the reply. " Can that be possible ?" said he ; " why every citizen preserves his wine in earthen vessels. I should have thought that gold or silver ones would have been more suitable to the dignity of an emperor." " You are right !" exclaimed the princess, " and henceforth this mark of respect shall riot be omitted." In a few days, however, she again accosted her tutor on this subject, saying— "ln the gaudy vessels you recommended, my father's wine was spoiled ; the spirit evaporated, while that which was placed in earthen ones improved in quality." " Very possible," rejoined the philosopher. "So also with virtue and knowledge ; the more humble the exterior of that in which they are contained, the more luxuriantly will they flourish, and the more forcibly excite our admiration." WEALTH does not consist in the greatness of a man's possessions, but in the smallness of his wants. AN " OBJECT OP INTEREST."—A girl whose in come is three thousand a-year. WHY is a coquette like a saleable cabbage ? Because she is a hard-hearted one. WHEN a man says that another thinks properly, it will be generally found that the two think alike ! To keep yourself in a state of great discontent, set your heart on having everything exactly to your mind. WHAT is the difference between an auction and sea sickness ?—One is the sale of effects: the other the effects of a sail. PHILIP OF SPAIN, asked Jeannin, a plcbeian ambas sador of Henry IV., " Are you a gentleman ?" " Yes," he replied, "if Adam was one." " But whose son are you ?" " The son of my own virtues." VANITY.—I live according to right reason, says the Stoic ; I live to seize the pleasures of passing days, says the Epicurean; I live to contemplate the un changeable truth, says the Platonist ; and all three live but in a vain squirrel-cage round of vanity. DEFINITION OF Wm—Dr. Henniker being one day in conversation with Lord Chatham, was asked by his lordship to define wit. " Wit," replied the doctor, "is like what a pension would be, given by your lord ship to your humble servant---a good thing well applied." TAKING IT COOLLY.—A Chinese legend records a singular instance of coolness in a mandarin. When his beloved Lee-Chee was, by a sun-stroke, reduced to a heap of ashes, " Sweep away your mistress," said the dignitary to his servant, " and bring us clean pipes !" SHORT AND SHARP.---" You had better ask for manners than money," said a finely-dressed gentleman to a beggar who asked for alms. . " I asked for what I thought you had the most of," was the cutting reply of the mendicant. A SERVICEABLE OFFER.—MTB. Smithers sent her little girl to her next-door neighbour, Mrs. Reed, to borrow a pair of bellows to blow her fire. Mrs. S. said, " Tell your mother, my dear, I don't lend my bellows out of the house to anybody ; but if your mother will come here, she may blow as much as she pleases," [OCTOBER 30, 1 A LINK-BOY asked Dr. Burgess, the t he he would have a light. "No child," says, o ip "I am one of the lights of the w orld. t then," replied the boy," you were hung of our alley, for it is a very dark one." SOVEREIGN REMEDIES.—For the gout' tea' water ; hooping-cough, ipecacuanha ; bile, corns, easy shoes ; blue devils, employmen t ' -tism, new flannel and patience ; tooth-ache, out ; debt, retrenchment ; love, matrimonY• • d FOUR commercial travellers recently din e m es at the Royal Oak inn, Portsea, whose I Butcher, Mutton, Salt, and Trimmings. strangers to each other, but they passed 11 - evening together on the singularity of such names meeting at table. BOSWELL records an unhappy man, AvIF totally lost his character, committed suicid ( which Dr. Johnson reprobated very severely' sir," urged Boswell, " the man had become, for life ; what would you have him do ?" I would have him go to some country w not known, and not to the devil, where he NOT GIVEN TO CHANGE.—A man with i a appetite dined at an hotel, and, after eating a young pig, was asked if he would hav e i ding. He said he didn't care much abel i t but if they had another little hog he wool ful for it. it TERRIBLE ACCIDENT.—" We knew 1 1(3 % , be—girls holding those great round hat% eyes so that they can't see where they lie Why, here's Flora Plumley run right into t that young Horace Spanker, who hasn't a Extract from our Aunt's Letter. A YORKSHIRE OVERSEER.—The followin Huddersfield Examiner , is a copy of aII appeared on the door of Penistone church week : "29 Sept this is to give notis to the of 1— the oversears of the Pore is goin Book Sined 2 rate at 10 in the Pound COCKNEY WIT.—Two gentlemen took a Blackfriars-bridge to go to the Tower. 0 1 asked the other, who sat beside him, if he him what countryman the waterman was. s h e a punßlßlSHnwaasi " w he could not. " Th en, " sa id th e f r i en d, " A -A man nam ed i . hDe DEFENCE-- Ng c co k mo n .d AN .e being told the t O'Leary was charged at Worship -street with robbing his landlord o f 1 9 6 asked if he had anything to say in answer am r to he replied, with a penitential shrug of the " The devil a word, your honour, and it's great dale too much has been said as it is." FISHING BEARS. —During the height of season in Kamtschatka, the salmon is tlia all the rivers and creeks of that co una Tl' W ill catch them with the greatest ease, an'. V rat clif eat of the head and back. The t S o, 3 h i l that a large bear will spoil from 25 night. As the season advances, and 1 . scarcer, the bears become less c h o ice in then., he we REPLY TO A LAME REMARK. grandfather ran away with a lame heiress, I manage the matter well, my lord ?" says Castletown. "Ye did in troth, Mick—an d great hit of it, if yer amiable lady was o nl „ her pins." " Well, my lord," says he, divil matter if she is a wee bit lame. Does ship suppose that men marry wives to run them P" —Hector O'Halloran. THE approach to Paris is more exciting the approach to London ; for London is business, Paris of pleasure—London the e sense, Paris of nonsense—London a wood timber, Paris a garden of every-varying flow don is the mighty throne where the world is Paris the graceful temple whence it is ' London is the stern and helmeted Pallas, many-hued Iris. London is, in short, the men, and Paris of women. IN the meridian of his reputation, cessantly worried by Albina, Countess of 131 with cards for " coffee at nine o'clock," with an invitation for the more genial hour er which last-mentioned hour the dinner 01 ' 0 9 ,4 _ ship's table was most p unc t ua lly served. tioo supposed that he never accept e d the invita i t) IS` s"l ' R the g e poe t \, , says , °Ad. nt t he el' ng 11 1 ) toa st , bout, oe bile, el he , anent' Flu" 1 dine g o es los issed 000 L, of per- who , j, • suicide.•„lli verelY• he Y - w here l ,- O ci ; Itinbel~oi dog': . ttti ti' ; t l, l6C abl t tfe t ll3ll 0 11 1 (1 Ci kk W i l e 110" oc ert ! 1 1,1 1 hats 0.010r e 4o( hey a i n n , t t o a le ; e 4 o 4, e' ll s :. ollowin-"• r te )f a notieed,? , k n i t lurch oil Ito the toy, c is goin rder. t 4e ' be ° tn. ) took' f •o t 0 r. One i a f s il was.• d, • , boie Gov ( the a fere „ amed !cot policeDe L., ancl rer to the e L dk,el , f • the ,Do, fl i e it's my c'r l h ut l r st t rd , t tas s elw i oc t vy ° s oS i itiless i i . 3 : l) : e ' .iiho ' ket t ti‘ t e d i e t i fi f t e a iifi h te t i 't` lid )1 ( 1, their S eleCt ;l o , e _and ye• ,t, Is onlY r i g he " w tP113 1(? ' Does ) run ra ce , thAr t • na i s he einporiti." rood Of t l if j, flower s t 7 r a : ilditasiisi s e , I C j e l: 01 1 t , 1. 5:f , io" H ° , boy 1 4 4 1) ) f nue-, r ..;'( Ns, j ' I hour ( 1 )f 0 1 t ,? el ; lr on IARD