The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser. — Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-07-10 00:00:00

SUPPLEMENT TO THE LIVERPOOL STANDARD one subject of thought that could interest. All ranks were confounded, all distinctions levelled, all common forms neglected. Gentlemen and servants, lords and common soldiers, British and foreigners were all upon an equality, elbowing each other without ceremony, and addressing each other without apology. Ladies accosted men they had never before seen with eager questions, unhesitatingly; strangers conversed together like friends, and English reserve seemed no longer to exist. From morning till night the great Place de _Mire was completely filled with people, standing under umbrellas, and eagerly watching for news of the battle. So closely packed was this anxious crowd, that when viewed from the hotel windows nothing could be seen but one compact mass of umbrellas. As the day advanced the consternation became greater. The number of terrified fugitives from Brussels, upon whose faces were marked the deepest anxiety and dis tress, and who thronged in the town on horseback and on foot, increased the general dismay ; while long rows of carriages lined the streets, filled with people who could find no place of shelter. VARIETIES. CAN old Port be considered " Elder" wine ? CAN the farmer who keeps good sheep be said always to enjoy fine `!wether _ Tim failings of a good man are commonly more published abroad than any of his good deeds. THlGmurrarmAs who kissed a lady's "snowy brow" caught a severe told, and has been laid up ever since. WO3iAN'S RIGHTS.—A good-natured husband, a dozen children; and a happy home. MRS. PARTINGTON fears that the people in California will bleed to Ileath, as every paper she picks up announces " another vein opened." SINCERITY is to speak as we think, to do as we pretend and profess, to perform and make good what we promise, and really to be what we would seem and appear to be.—Tillotson. b THE CONSCIENCE. The conscience is the most elastic material in the world. To-day you cannot stretch it over a mole-hill—to-morrow it hides a mountain. "SEVEN YEARS' FIGHTINO," says Jeremy Taylor, "sets a whole kingdom back in learning and virtue, to which they were creeping, it might be, a whole age." A TRADESMAN having sunk his floor a couple of feet, announces that, " in consequence of recent improvements, goods will be sold considerably lower than formerly." A LOVER, writing to his sweetheart, says:—" Delectable dear—You are so sweet, that honey would blush in your pre sence, and molasses stand appalled." RECEIPT FOR MAKING A PERSON USEFUL—Do every thing in its proper time ; keep everything in its proper use; and put everything in its proper place. AN ORIENTAL PROVERB.—You can't prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you may prevent them from stopping to build their nests there. THE most " Telling" Scene in the opera of William Tell, says the Picayune, is where they tell Tell to tell Jimmy Tell to tell Mrs. Tell that he (Tell) cannot tell when he will he home. THE following distich over the door of a barber's shop shows at once the utility and the poetry of the honest shaver : "Stumps and teeth drawn in a trice, Threepence a piece, and that's the price." A SAILOR meeting an old messmate, whom the world had frowned a little upon, asked him where he lived ? " Where I live," said be, " I don't know ; but I starve towards Wapping and that way." A Poore YANKEE, on being asked the nature of his dis tresses, replied—" That he had five outs and one in—to wit, out of money, and out of clothes • out at the heels and out at the toes ; out of credit and in debt." DEFINITIOICS. Alcohol, contractor for coffins. Tem perance, eating to live.—Bad temper, a jar of household vinegar.—Gossip, society's scavenger.—Equivocation, half-way to lying.—Suspicion, the mother of jealousy. LADIES' BONNETS are, it would seem, about to disappear altogether, for the Magazin Francais. says" the new shapes are even smaller than they were last spring." A FACT.—What is stronger in death than in life? An old yellow-legged hen. If you don't believe it, try to dissect one after boiling. AIINT BETSY has said many good things; amongst the rest, that a newspaper is like a wife, because every man ought to have one of his own. A PROBER3I FOR THE CURIOUS.—If three barley-mows make a haystack, how many pairs of bagpipes will make a kettle drum ? _ _ THE DIFFERENCE.—When Barnley told Bill " he was look ing quite ill," Bill stuck to his habit of impudent joking— " that's the difference," quoth he, " betwixt you and me—that I am looking ill, and that you are ill-looking !" LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP.--Love is the shadow of the morn ing, which decreases as the day advances. Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which strengthens with the setting sun of life. MET did you not pocket some of those pears ?" said one boy to another: "nobody was there to see." " Yes there was—l was there to see myself ? and I don't ever mean to see myself do a mean thing r CURIOSITIES. A daguerreotype representation of the waning honeymoon. Some feathers which were lost during a flight of fancy. An apiary from which the drones of society have been expelled. _ _ _ . _ A NOVEL STYLE.—A young lady, found one day reading a novel, was asked by a gentleman how she liked the style ? Re viewing the incidents in her memory, she replied, "The style? the style ?-011 ! Sir, I am not come to that yet." TIIE application of the Scotch proverb, " Mony littles mak a mickle," has met with an illustration in a public office in America, where the clerks have been directed not to dot their i's nor cross their t's, by which a considerable saving of ink has been effected. How TO RECEIVE CRITICISM. —As for the Quarterly Re view, I have not read it, nor shall I, nor ought I—where abuse is intended, not for my correction, but my pain. I am, however, very fair game ; if the oxen catch the butcher, they have a right to toss and gore him.—Rev. Sydney Smith. ENCOURAGING.—A young gentleman having made some progress in acquiring a knowledge of Italian, addressed a few words to an organ grinder in his purest accent. He was astonished at receiving the following response—" I no speak Inglis." A MISTAKEN COMPROMISE.—In the Court of Common Pleas on Saturday, in the course of an action, in which a com promise had been sought, the defendant, an old lady and very deaf, was asked what she would take, when she replied, "A glass of warm ale." AN AGE OP PROGRESS.—In Winchester, United States, Mr. John Wysong informs the citizens that he has associated with him in the mercantile business his daughter Virginia, and that hereafter business will be conducted under the style and firm of J. Wysong and Daughter.—American paper. SCOTCIIMEN cut their eye-teeth afore they ever set foot in this country, I expect. When they get a bawbee they know what to do with it, that's a fact. They open their pouch, and drop it in • and it's got a spring like a fox trap—it holds fast to all it gets, like grim death to a dead nigger. —Sant Slick. A RIDDLE.—The following, riddle is said to be the last production of Sheridan's witty pen :—" Sometimes with a head ; sometimes with a tail, sometimes without a tail; some times with head and tail, sometimes without either; and yet equally perfect in all situations.—Answer—A Wig. HE that is well employed in his duty, though he may seem to do nothing, does the greatest thing of all others. He lays down precepts for the governing of our lives, and the modera tion of our passions ; and obliges human nature, not only in the present, but in all succeeding generations. EXPANSIVE BENEVOLENCE.—The following sentence has been ascribed to Fenelon I love my family better than myself ; my country better than my family ; and mankind better than my country ; for I am more a Frenchman than a Fenelon ; and more a man than a Frenchman." AN ILLITERATE PERSON, who always volunteered to "go round with the hat," but was suspected of sparing his own pocket, overhearing once a hint to that effect, replied, " Other gentlemen puts down what they thinks proper, and so do I: charity's a private concern, and what I gives is nothing to nobody." A LITTLE GIRL, about five years old, heard a ranting preacher praying most lustily, till the roof rang with the strength of his supplication. Turning to her mother, and beckoning the maternal ear down to a speaking place, she whispered, " Mother, don't you think that if he lived nearer to God he wouldn't have to talk so loud ?" OF all the miseries a man can meet in this world, that of a beautiful, capricious, fiery-tempered, fainting wife, is the most to be feared. Don't learn to faint. You are bad enough already ; don't become worse, or you will become a deserted wife as sure as you become a wife at all, unless yon marry an awful spooney. Learn to check your temper. HE that resigns his peace to little casualties, and suffers the course of his life to be interrupted by fortuitous inadverten cies or offences, delivers up himself to the direction of the wind, and loses all that constancy and equanimity which con stitute the chief praise of a wise man. MAN is but a rough pebble without the attrition received from contact with the gentler sex. It is wonderful how the ladies pumice a man down into smoothness, who occasion him to roll over and over with the rest of his species, jostling, but not wounding, his neighbours, as the waves of circumstances bring him into collision with them. MODESTY always sits up gracefully on youth; it covers a multitude of faults, and doubles the lustre of every virtue which it seems to hide, the perfections of men being like those flowers which appear more beautiful when their leaves are folded up than when they are full blown, and display them• selves without any reserve to the view. "Do you cast things here ?" inquired a Yankee, as he sauntered into a foundry and addressed the proprietor. " You cast all kinds of things in iron, eh ?" was the next query. " Certainly, don't you see that is our business ?" "Ah ! well cast a shadow, will you ?" He was cast out, and referred to a brass foundry. A LOGICAL INFERENCE.-" Sleep, like death, is a great leveller," said ➢ir. B-, yawning, as he closed a large volume just before retiring; "Plato, while asleep, was no greater than any other mortal ; ergo, when I'm asleep I'm as great a man as Plato." " Was Plato, when asleep, think you, your equal in every respect ?" asked his friend. " Certainly," Then he must have been an awful snorer." AMONGST great numbers of men:who are accounted rich, there are few that really are so. That man alone is rich who lives upon what he has, owes nothing, and is contented ; for there is no determinate sum of money, nor quantity of estate, that can denote a man rich, since the desire for more is want, and want is poverty itself, TEE most trifling actions that aff( be regarded. The sound of your morning, or nine at night, heard b; easy six months longer ; but if he table, or hears your voice at a tavern. work, he sends for his money the Ile A PEDAGOGUE told one of his Emerald Isle, to spell hostility. meneed Pat. " Not horse-tility,' " Sure," replied Pat, the other day not to say hors wid ye one day, and another the nix. LEASE AND RELEASE--An Iris! in the teeth of evidence. The cowls, anxious to know how the thing coult next day addressed himself to one of formed, had stood out for not guilty. answered—" Arrah, Mr. —, d( hanging the last life in my lease ?" THE AMERICAN CHARACTER.—AII "We are born in a hurry ; we are make a fortune with a wave of a manner, to re-make and re-lose it ii Our body is a locomotive, travelling our spirit is a high-pressure engine, ing star, and death surprises us like THINGS REQUIRED AND WORTH of ambition, the depth of soul, the profundity of knowledge, the mini Also, what is the proper meaning of and where it may be bought ? wheth purchased, the price would be redo' happy days in question would be w , climate? AN AMERICAN WITNESS.—The I ain't particular, as the oyster said he'd be fried or roasted.—What do that comes in my way, as the loco!. over a little nigger.—What's your bus] as the cat said when she stole the chic comes nearer the line, I suppose ? Al , the rope said when it was choking f th( DEATHS AND MARRIAGES.— Ito' lady writing to the editor of the New much good the deaths and marriage!' how I love deaths and marriages , every paper.—The elopement/L I :1: 1' r e the common deaths and s ti. c i s j i: ?ge wi t f l crowd the married ones you consulted their hap Pines and Spanish A SPANISH PRIES... -- it t f not followed soldiers bosawi taedtsura h. top Reflect,fighte n tsentiment, to-nighti mt k , like theil nb i o r n e fit s h , g Faradreht the priest took to his heels, when a reproachfully referred to the promise " True, my son, true," said the prig added,s' beg.e. suppers." Sir WILLIAM OMB had a very lc on g au William,bn o ust ing imineg a , t hsi b isr ac sn ene. to keep pace with his intlu i g A &in wwhiot seldomh makingwoasl d a G e sn n n e continually over the table, anu., , with the game, the General said sir nose." "Blow it yourself," sa id you as me." THE editor of the Buffalo Adver, immortal by the publication of an in ' ing babies perfectly quiet, the ow' is as follows :—As soon as the chill squall, prop it up with pillows and thick treacle, sticking feathers into thi the youngster the employment of ply the one hand and the other, which will drops asleep again. =ORIGIN OF THE NAME OF CITA generally known that the name of nated from the fond epithet bestowed his beloved Queen, to whom no less erected, and from the prevalence of that time, Charing being no other thall, Reyne (dear Queen), often applied by of course the cross gave the name of the INCLEDON AMONG} THE HORSES. familiarly called " Dickey Suett," one at Tattersall's, asked him if he had col cledon said he had ; but having no ment in horse-flesh, inquired " What you think you should know a horse doubt," replied Suett, quickly, " I'd among a thousand horses." NEWSPAPERS ECCENTILICITIES. curiosities in the columns of the Tim , with some startling announcements. " a mahogany child's chair" was offered belonging to a lady with a piebald commit a great many blunders, as t)- show :—A New Orleans editor recordin g dog, says, "We are grieved to say tha it could be killed, severely bit Dr. Hart " For sale, an excellent young horse lady or gentleman with a long silver Eastern paper expresses great indigni!'„ which a woman was buried who comml l 't, " She was buried like a dog with her cloth • 1. Jr 10' , 1 0 .ffeictniaia.ll,i lam er ealt or '1 )37 acr s t ; sees Yo ° „,, tcri-ny. 11 he 1,0;;;,, (I,4lzlia s scholars, 11.0-r•s' e ' said the h tt " au' 011 , 1 0' , 4 5 e ef40 44 ,, Be japers , Pet; Bo ' l a. r o ' 4 1. t+ It mur dere r . 11, sel for the , 10 Id hare 1' 113 0 0.1 f the j116:010 , y. 1.115.. 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