The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser. — Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-08-14 00:00:00

70 , 14,) [Auovt.„..,„l SUPPLEMENT TO THE LIVERPOOL STANDARD. the Jew fence, or marine-store keeping Christian, lurked near the door to hear whether his pupils were to join him at once, or after some whipping and im prisonment. A lithe-limbed pickpocket took its thirtieth ,sentence with a pleasant bow to his judge ; an Irish beggar woman sobbed and howled frightfully during the hearing, and then flung a stone at the chief clerk's bald head ; a maniac preacher announced his divine mission, with hideous cries about eternal fire and the undying worm ; and a consumptive gay woman, in yellow satin and a lace bonnet, was bound over not to assault a brown and corpulent hag, who lent her the trappings for her dreadful trade, and exacted in return nearly the last sixpence it produced. Such was some of the " cases "of the day. Take a chair in a police-court for one morning, and you will, perhaps, go away with a resolve to do quietly, and to the best of your power, the work which lies nearest your hand, but not to shout very much for the future when Mr. Sadducee, in the Commons, boasts about this enlightened age ; and Earl Pharisee, in the Lords, brags about this Christian nation.---Aspen Court. ANECDOTE OF THE DUKE OF ORLEANS (EGALITE.)— He was passionately fond of sporting, and an excellent shot. One day, in 1782, he was out shooting in a vineyard where the grapes were still ungathered, and he strictly ordered those who attended him not to pick any. A partridge got up behind him, and, not observ ing any one in the way, the duke levelled and fired ; but at the moment the gun went off, his courier Joseph, who had been stooping down that he might get at the grapes unobserved, suddenly rose, and re ceived the whole charge in his neck and shoulder at only a few paces distant. The wound was very seri ous, without being mortal, and the duke in great anxiety rushed towards the poor man, personally as sisted in removing him from the ground, bestowed upon him the greatest care, and went to see him every day till he was completely recovered. He then pen sioned him handsomely, and released him from further service ; but the courier, who was greatly attached to his master, solicited permission to remain, and thence forward only did just what work he pleased. After this accident, the Duke of Orleans renounced shooting for ever. He told me several times afterwards, that whenever he took a fowling-piece in his hand he was seized with a fit of trembling, and always fancied he saw a man standing near the muzzle.-21f. De la Marek's Mirabeau, MATERNAL EDUCATION.-At "no period :(they say) has the harmony between the old and the young been so little manifested as in this age of high civilization ; in large towns this evil is more evident than in the country; this may be partly accounted for by the change which has taken place in the domestic habits of the people, both among the rich and the poor. The departure from the simplicity of nature, the thirst for fashionable accomplishments, the desire to adorn the outward form, and the aspiration after greatness rather than goodness, have caused society to neglect many of those means by which the inward being can be developed, and without which there can be no true greatness, no intrinsic worth. The history of true greatness can commonly be traced to the mother's care of her infant. The child feels true attachment to tlip breast that gives it nourishment, the bosom on which it reclines, the voice that soothes its sorrow, the eyes that speak to it what no tongue can utter, the arms by which it is embraced ; in short, the being by whom it is nursed, whether she be distinguished by the name of mother or nurse. These feelings cannot be transferred to another who occupies a secondary relationsbm,khough in that capacity she may expend immense wealth in adorn ing its body, decorating its cradle, supplying i t with every 'variety of toys or sweetmeats for its gratification —even though the sacred name of mother be added— it can have no power to establish between them that union which must spring from within. The mother is the true' natural educator of the child ; and if she transfer that office to another during her child's earlie s t infancy, she need not be surprised if the perquisites also of that office be transferred, however strongly she may desire to retain them.---Ronge's Practical Guide. A GREEK PATRIARCH.—He appeared to be rather a young man, certainly not more than thirty-five years of age, with a reddish beard, which is uncommon in this country. He was dressed in purple silk r obe s , like a Greek bishop, and took his seat in the c orner o f the divan, and said nothing, and stroked his beard as a pasha might have done. * * * When we had smoked our pipes for awhile, and all the servants had gone away, I presented the letter of the Archbishop of Canterbury. It was received in due form, and after a short explanatory- exordium was read aloud to the Patriarch, first in English, and then translated into Greek. " And who," quoth the Patriarch of Constan tinople, the supreme head and primate of the Greek church of Asia—" who is the Archbishop of Canter bury ?" "What !" said I, a little astonished at the question. " Who," said he, "is the archbishop ?" " Why, the archbishop of Canterbury." "Archbishop of what ?" said the Patriarch. " Canterbury," said I. " Oh," said the Patriarch ; " Ah, yes ! and what is he ?" Here all my English friends and myself were taken aback sadly ; we had not imagined that the high-priest before us could be ignorant of such a mat ter as the one in question. The Patriarch of the Greek church, the successor of Gregory Nazianzen, St. John Chrysostom, and the heresiarch Nestorius, seemed not to be aware that there were any other denominations of Christians besides those of his own church and the church of Rome. But the fact is, that the Patriarch of Constantinople is merely the puppet of an intriguing faction of the Greek bankers and usurers of the Fanar, who select for the office some man of straw, whom they feel secure they can rule, and whose appointment they obtain by a heavy bribe paid to the Sultan ; for the head of the Christian church is appointed by the Mahommedan Emperor.—Curzon's Levant. A GOOD BEGINNING.---It IS a f air e o; - 1 happiness and virtue to delight in the c ool: 1 good and wise men ; and where t ll3 , t o t °' the next point is, to keep no compalliaf id , ' A NEW VERSION OF AN OLD ";,/. tr r the first time he met his son Tom 3 ,,.; V o l, of the latter, was seriously angrywn j io di him he had made his will and ell' ,eti,, r , shilling. Tom said he was indeed ~01 " 0 , immediately added, " You don't kV ~/0 4 shilling about you now, sir, do you r tio yfte c ri :t , A HOME THRUST.---A preacher tv far fi t i 'l of the Lake Erie boats on a SalFt A 11e c .,4 1 been long on board before he apP,fl.'",o ' to hold a religious meeting. " No , ~,4 ' l " " any minister who would travel Or' 0 to preach on board my boat." o f 1 ,01 ) WANTED TO KNow.---The addres,l' al o t ri :l it goes out. Whether the edge j uii 3 o'" keener than a cutting satire P '' o rLf g ' singer does three times the wor l Y; , ,lig f ei times as much as another P And '„Ref, 7 ever fainted under the burthen of 03 ' 0 44 AN AMERICAN SOYER.---AD Ai ll 1 11 1 / sawyer) has invented the following 11 e,,,i lion--" Cut up four laths in a peck ?, co f ) well mixed bake, by placing a naPkil;vitliiei'. the sun for half-an-hour. Serve up ' s -ilte'it'f by soaking cedar shingle in a pail of r s hei l o f THE PHILOSOPHER AT H031E. -- " : ‘‘ IL' 1i.,, arrived in Paris, as a very young ula ikell' gratified by the attention he reeeill" eol', o l*o then in the zenith of his renown- nrO r rr ever, that his admiration for the ill if j, Vi the " Necanique Celeste " was rouelyeg;g on one occasion, having been at h is pole ' Madame Laplace, approaching b er of him, " Will you let me have the keY d ir ,' tv Ladies' Own Journal. jo. .EGGS.—In some parts of Peru (ferecettiedf hen's eggs are circulated as smal l 1 1 , or fifty being counted for a dollar• t he i places and shops the Indians mak .° , 0 0,e,,M, , purchases with this brittle sort of 1 0 1 0, 0 0 wio give two or three eggs for brandY , , 3 f lil l a third for cigars. These eggs -,- ( `'. - 1 , co l. by the „shopkeepers, and sent to - 1 . 1 0 , I alone 1,000 loads of eggs are aw ltl e OO the capital. _„4 11 30 ~, - ~,0 .ii AN INTERRUPTED REFORMATIO*two•ir t is in operation in Vermont. A „,,clifP V ille i being recently brought before a g„,.ofi i; assumed the attitude of an acecoli e .),. tai; saying pity I was ter,t' lti 'lf l ie were becoming so well trained t" ti l r' from me which were two-thirds O p artl let alone, I think they would have t I 1 isle' e t before six months." „,, a 0 4 $ 0,',,,4 ACT WELL YOUR PART.----"; - , Vja" A CII I. of Boston, M. W. Gray, whey. P - er iiite - t o e it J vanced in years, was one day sl e asie l 'aoill) of carpenter's work, and he bad° for l' i°t 0 1 9/ 1 the man who was performing led„1011,1,), 4,i The carpenter indignantly turn co la v e, tt ! Billy having known each other Pi o ' y 011,,, W I "Billy Gray, Billy Gray, what ' O,O it e l`ptit# scold me for? You are a ri ch l'i giotli ill Y) didn't I know you when you wer e r, &da l , mer?" Well," said Mr GraY , eh ? didn't I drum well i'' v , ,St: s l l id AN UNANSWERABLE ARGI73I-_seo 01,:tite . i dinner a debate arose as to the Morse tlitylield bringing up children. Old Dr . .„,,,i n ister , Ai tive. His opponent, a young '' high' eil l o tion for veracity was not ver i Y iik i r eolVoil pfd parents often did harm to their the ca se , e ifilill from not knowing the facts 0 1. _it i .,,,ecl O l to til he, " the only time my father w, ;Vile doe 1 4 : 01 ing the truth." " Well," retort:, .....at1 4 ,0 1 you, didn't it ?" The doctor ,what is •ca e l';,o l 4 POPULAR DEFINITIONS.'d " cheS i n c' ti ;A t i 0 ners at midnight and hea a k i n d 0 . 0 0- 1 0 1 1 P eculiar 'leads' - ‘ -11 l air I What is Wit P That to pulled noses and broker - ) 4t , ov er-V se 0: 0 4 1 ,, To count your money, and In u,' To P o o pounds.---What is knowledge r „ Iv b . , t h e , to ha w . , it I PAIOJ I home when people come ? J.O t io I f brellas.---What is Contentment ...isrlut i l a and see others stuck in the mu o o z, a woo & 1 A desire to become possessed 1 an eyebrow. 1 () rARIETIES. WHICH is the best Way to make a coat last ? Why, make the vest and trousers first. WHY cannot a gentleman legally possess a short walking-stick ? Because it can never be-long to him. THERE'S no place like home unless you havn't got one, then anywhere is better than nowhere. A CANDID LAWYER.---" Do you think I'll get justice done me ?" said a culprit to a counsel. " I don't think you will," replied the other ; " for I see two men on the jury who are opposed to hanging." " I'm bored to death," said a slatternly girl. "Yes, I perceive you have holes in your stockings," was the rejoinder. PITHY FABLE.—Once upon a time a tree fell upon a woodman ; the woodman reproached, but the tree with a bow replied, "I didn't do it until you axed me." AN Irish guide told Dr. James Johnson, who wished for a reason why echo was always of the feminine gender, that " Maybe it was because she always had the last word." " THERE is no truth in men," said a lady in com pany ; " they are like musical instruments, which sound a variety of tones." "In other words, madam," said a wit, who chanced to be present, " you believe that all men are lyres !" A GRAMMATICAL CHARACTER.---A worthy minister, noted for his wit, on being asked what kind of a per son the wife of Mr. - was, replied, " I will give you her grammatical character. She is a noun substantive ---seen, felt, and heard." A GENTLEMAN, of the name of Pepper, had been several times thrown from a spirited horse, and was relating the circumstance to a friend, and at the same time observing that he had never given his horse a name. " I think," replied his friend, " you should call him Peppercaster." A LITTLE COMFORT.—The wife of Joseph T. Little, of Arnold, recently made her husband a present of three little Littles at one birth. We trust that the fortunate father will be able to appreciate in proper time the full force of the old adage—" Every ' Little' helps."—American Courier. INNOCENTLY POPPING THE QUESTION.—"CharIes," said a young lady to her lover, " there is nothing inte resting in the paper to-day, is there, dear P" " No, love ; but I hope there will be one day, when we both shall be interested." The lady blushed, and said, of course, " For shame, Charles." A QUAKER, who was examined before a court, for not using any other language than " thee," " thou," and " friend,' was asked by the presiding functionary ---" Pray, Sir, do you know what we sit here for ?' " Yea, verily, I," said the Quaker, " three of ye for two dollars each day, and the fat ono in the middle for one thousand dollars a year' Iti YI