The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser. — Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-08-21 00:00:00

SUPP de Mars, defiled before the five members of the direc tory, who were placed near the altar of the country, surrounded by their ministers, by the great civil functionaries, the generals, and the whole garrison of the capital.—The Louvre, by St. John. How A RIISSIAN COMEDY WAS GOT Up.—The only difficulty was that the season was severe and that it would take two of three hours to heat the room in which the comedy would have to be performed. So much delay would spoil the entire plan, and it was about to be abandoned, when the host suddenly de clared that he had solved the difficulty. He would guarantee them a warm room in half an hour. Ac cordingly, he caused all the serfs, labourers, and me chanics in the neighbourhood to be hurried into the cold saloon, and when it was quite full, shut all the doors; and left the poor men to establish a black hole for half an hour—in his own phrase, to communicate their heat to the atmosphere. The doors were then thrown open, the serfs were ordered to make a preci pitate retreat ; the smell they left was disguised with a profusion of choice perfumes, and the guests entered, clapping their hands with delight at feeling the warm air and smelling the sweet incense. So they shut themselves up comfortably in the warm, poisonous air, and played their little comedy.—Household Words. A FRIEND IN NEED.—I sprang to my feet, flinging aside my blanket. A fearful spectacle was before me. Away to the west, as far as the eye could reach, the prairie seemed in motion. Black waves rolled over its undulating outlines, as though some burning mountain was pouring down its lava upon the plains. A thou sand bright spots flashed and flitted along the moving surface like jets of fire. The ground shook, men shouted, horses reared upon their ropes, neighing wildly. My dog barked and howled, running around me. For a moment I thought I was dreaming ; but no, the scene was too real to be mistaken for a vision. I saw the border of the black wave within ten paces of me, and still approaching. Then, and not till then, did I recognise the shaggy crests and glaring eyeballs of the buffalo. " God of Heaven ! I am in their track ! I will be trampled to death !" It was too late to attempt an escape by running. I seized my rifle, and fired at the foremost of the band. The effect of my shot was not perceptible. The water of the arrayo was dashed in my face. A huge bull, ahead of the rest, furious and snorting, plunged through the stream and up the slope. I was lifted and tossed high into the air. I was thrown rearwards, and fell upon a mov ing mass. I did not feel hurt nor stunned. I felt myself carried onward upon the backs of several ani mals, that in the dense drove ran close together. These, frightened at their strange burden, bellowed loudly, and dashed on to the front. A sudden thought struck me, and, fixing on that which was most under me, I dropped my legs astride of him, embracing his hump, and clutching the long woolly hair that grew upon his neck. The animal " routed" with extreme terror, and plunging forward soon headed the band. This was exactly what I wanted ; and on we went over the prairie, the bull running at top speed, believing, no doubt, that he had a panther or a catamount be tween his shoulders. I had no desire to disabuse him of this belief ; and, lest he should deem me alto gether harmless, and come to a halt, I slipped out my bowie, which happened to be " handy," and pricked him up whenever he showed symptoms of lag ging. At every fresh touch of the " spur" he roared out, and ran forward at a redoubled pace. My danger was still extreme. The drove was coming on behind, with a front of nearly a mile. I could not have cleared it had the bull stopped and left me on the prairie. Notwithstanding the peril I was in, I could not resist laughing at my ludicrous situation : I felt as one does when looking at a good comedy. We struck through a village of " prairie dogs." Here I fancied the animal was about to turn and run back. This brought my mirth to a sudden pause ; but the buffalo usually runs in a " bee line," and fortunately mine made no exception to the law. On he went, sinking to the knees, kicking the dust from the conical hills, snorting and bellowing with rage and terror. The "Plum buttes" were directly in the line of our course. I had seen this from the start, and knew that if I could reach them I would be safe. They were nearly three miles from the bluff where we had bivou acked; but, in my ride, I fancied them ten. A small one rose over the prairie, several hundred yards nearer than the main heights. Towards this I pricked the foaming bull in a last stretch ; and he brought me .EMENT TO THE LIVERPOOL STAN cleverly within a hundred yards of its base. It was now time to take leave of my dusky companion. I could have slaughtered him as I leaned over his back. My knife rested upon the most vulnerable part of his huge body. No, I would not havs slain that buffalo for the Koh-i-noor. Untwisting my fingers from his thick fleece I slipped down over his tail, and, without as much as saying " Good night," ran with all my speed towards the knoll. I climbed up, and, sitting down upon a loose shoulder of rock, looked over the the prairie. The moon was still shining brightly. My late companion had halted not far from where I had left him, and stood glaring back with a look of extreme bewilderment. There was something so comical in the sight that I yelled with laughter as I sat securely on my perch.—Capt. Reid's Scalp Hunters. VARIETIES. FLATTERY iS a description of base coin which few have the discrimination to detect and refuse. THE PLEASANTEST SORT OF CHRISTMAS BILLS. — The bills of the pantomimes. THE MOST UNPOPULAR COMPOSITION.--A composi tion with one's creditors. PEOPLE who wish to lead peaceful lives should never go to balls, for hops produce great bitterness. CHIMNEY SWEEPING is a dirty trade ; yet if a man takes to it it is sure to soot him. MODERN BABES OF THE WOOD.—Those children whose maintenance is provided by the board. VEGETARIAN'S PRINCIPAL FOOD.—Gammon and spinach. IT seems odd that in a game at cricket any eleven can make a score. _ . WHEN a groom gives his steed the choice of beans or oats, what does he do but put the carte before the horse ? y ~ v WHY is a cricket on the hearth like 4 soldier in the Crimea F—Because he often advances under a brisk fire. REFLECTION is a flower of the mind, giving out wholesome fragrance. Reverie is the same flower when weak and running to seed. " I Ali thy fathers's spirit !" as the bottle of whisky said to the Glasgow weaver's boy when he found it hid under the bed on Saturday night. NEW Music.—An American paper says one of their enterprising mechanics has invented the art of ren dering the steam whistle musical—thus making those nuisances quite as ornamental as useful. QUEIZIES.—If a cab is hired by a pretty girl who has seenbetter days, is she to be considered a reduced fare? —Would a poultry-fancier be unable to ride in his carria g e in England because he keeps his Coach-in- China ?—The proverb says that " Patience is a virtue." If a surgeon has no patients, does it therefore follow that he has no virtue P A LOST LOVER.—lmagination paints him in bril liant colours, and hope tantalizes the pining bosom by saying how happy it might have been. His faults, his vices are covered with the mantle of charity ; and the demon is transferred into an angel of light. It is a perverse propensity of nature to do this. Time and another cure the malady. INSURMOUNTABLE.—I once dissuaded a youth from entering the army, on which he was bent, at the risk of breaking his mother's heart, by asking him how he would prevent his sword from getting between his legs. It quite staggered him ; he never solved the difficulty, and took to peace instead of war.—Rev. Sydney Smith. THE POPULAR BENT OF THE YOUNG IDEA.—On a Sunday evening recently a clergyman of the eastern district of London was examining the congregational school. The subject was the fall of Jericho. "Have we not a city to take ?" inquired the rev. gentleman. —" Yes, sir," promptly answered a little boy.—" What city ?" continued the clergyman.---" Why," answered the little fellow with energy, " we have Sebastopol to take !" _ _ • NORTH AND SOUTH.---(Scene---The Mountainous Country on this side the Cheviots.)---Gentleman from the South : " Can you tell me which way the hounds have gone, my good girl.---Lady from the North : " Weel, my cannie Southron ! a vast have ganged through the Irvine, and a vast have ganged adoun the brae, and haflins down the howes by yon gorse-fauld, and haflins by the birks ayont the muir, and syne a foo ower the tristie stibble !"---Gentleman "Oh ! thank 'ee !"---Motley. , ARD . WHEN Everett was ent ner before leaving Boston, sentiment—" Genius is surt Ever-ett goes." Everett re! and jurisprudence : no effor 4 one Story. BOUGHT AND SOLD.—It is bourhood of Glastonbury, a by daily toil, thrift, and hard to make himself comfortable, age of 60, to lose his partner loss, he fixed his eye upon oni village, and went to see the " engaged," he made the girl consent to be his bride ; £6O another difficulty turned up. a previous claim ; that was s( satisfied him. So pleased his bargain, that he settled intended. But who shall when he ascertained that the y with their booty? CUT IT SHORT.—A certain great gift of gab, used to am long yarns, while he went their heads and faces. One took his seat, and ordered a barber went to work, and be of his long stories, to the no old gentleman, who becomir said, " Cut it short." " Y continuing the yarn, until ordered " Cut it short, I say, clipping away, and gabbling cut it short, I say,' said tl said the barber, going on w'. cut it short," bawled out " Can't, sir," said the barbel glass, " you'll see I've cut horror, upon lookino , in the found all the hair cut off froi Chronicle. MAN AND WOMAN.--131 there is a difference of kint is, strong, woman is beautifu. fident, woman is diffident great in action, woman ii abroad, woman at home ; woman to persuade ; man h, a soft and tender one ; man relieves it ; man has scienc( judgment, woman sensibil; justice, woman au angel of tive characteristics represent, as the heart ; or man the tion. And in so doing, w derogatory to woman is illy a simple fact, more influence heads—by our love than physical and mental endo' appeal to the senses, yet mental proof that moral , decides the fate of the wo: latter that woman pre-em' contend, so far from her bei is, at present at least, hit this view of their relative pi be the better able to defir the sexes to each other. THE MAJOR'S STORY.-- I was three times on thi There was Laura Pearson, she all but asked me. I 111 my time and attention dur in that sequestered village The frivolous compliments daily intercourse during -su and carpet quadrilles in ti don girl would have look course, were accepted by surances of regard. So on some hills, she turned tow to her pretty blue eyes, sail say ?" Here was a poser. position at once presented replied that it was all a joi down as a flirt, and discar combedale, accordingly, to proaches of my own cons( and to say the truth, I was not to the state of the latter, Therefor' [AUGUST 20. 1y y( ) - LLO tertain Star} P 1 ,, b o Judg gli edon re to be welcoag 7,. Yoc esponded--"l'f:',, $ 1 ! 1 , i l t b h le s is can raise 11P , a er, 1 Ae '1 ' , 1 chi 3' related that, ill l' , rate well-to-do Sett, : IV 01 d bargains, haui,g.l6i, ', ai ' a,,11d had the Lnisforopig '14 4 ( r.- Wishing Ojo 1 ,4( 1 I ne of the mill'' 'V I aril girl, but fiulo ~ 1, ‘. r l a bold bid, 0, ' , n ,: , go 0 were paid tl°ol, iler "yowl) i r k' . ro o ;oon dispo 01 , to gu was the ardete 830 per 0/ .c describe his c, , ~irt , young lovers 11'2•`` '1114,„'1, - t s , e of i barber of O.) etosl( n'use his c10....tV :8,t,(1:1° through ' tgiale3: clay old como , 4,0,4,1$ shave `modlo tit 'lle e,g.an, at ther--, ;, :: iia , N e t l i c' ) little dissa iti ,,,, no. irritable st a Clat- r, I d „ i , v res, sir," st , . --- ti, e the old yep, ofr :s, b, , cut it short !,': c o li • p,.e. ' ,c , the faster. 0' 0t,,,, he old gait .10' , i ' l 'ed I rith his s torl , iv k i l i 1 7 : qif. 13 th e S the old ft' le .. old ~ r, " for if S, f°llArk: ('.l l ita A all oll'''4l o:rj,l, ,th, toL: glass, th'A' tiV '11; elids( Jin his 11C3'.." 0 q,' , It a , teal'd . ' lit ) 1 , 3etween l''',/,ite'ol,,, I ti 3 'he ul only---11°;4400 t ' Id ; „,,,,,ig .40.; Il i, ~,1 Loi ` -4'''',lll '. . 1 1v as and tia,"-,, ill' i ,vill ' to . in 118.11airillt:51et°: ',ii:ll.t:el'i ias a rag,:riol," ..44;seCf, It preveotstote; t i l d "Ittilllfi Lee, woluol i , a ,T. A, ssk 1 lity ; D oi de o , s i ' and )f mercY. ,ve .. ' t la at man as tP,,9000 i l:e b i intellect, \ ( "„t 01' 0 tq, we subniit t , 13 " fit t i t , t( ) .. l 's , volved there,-,.'e,:ti 1 , '.itid red by o ur lityp , , utlie a our colivic s 4 , " 11 0 0 v f DEL DWlnentS 13°,1#!. tli it is SllsCeS`i c4PS leal, power rely. it P 11,,,,11; orld ; and, ,v, alt;it Via'lig iinently sill'ikfii: I I inff man,s iale,.o. „ le 0 ,hies, is decided ore L 1 0 1 , 1/ ?ositions before Ole kra aitely calePte kttsells t elor' 11, lo (''') —I am a bac' ' ' ' SR f I , e i iii Le point 0,,A,4, 1 a the belle 0 1 rvtie 1 iici t o bestowed q' f li pi l ‘ ,, fit, (ti xing ray fir''oo)ef) , p ce I had 0 0 f ipif, , ; it(: , r s and prettl iditil, "t. ,e uminer wal00(/ 'l' io he eveuior 9 / 11 .k f 17 . 4•4 ked upou 1001 t ed t 4, Laura . ~0 00,L40 ''El 'I( nie d a y wni:ofi pia ,j 1 4,4 wit wards ine 000: 0 . ' l l i t a lli Lid, "D e ;01,icatt"" tlic 't . A.ll the T o Oe. A, i l) ; 11 themselleClA lig e i 0r.' 14 oke, I -boil iiole 4,1(b, , il ,ty ',I arded hy til, ~,,,g of tii the -,0 say potav- 0011 ilt , I, science, or 111 n 0 P V, e- lie 1, '' 110 t en tile ofqs tl