The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser. — Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-07-24 00:00:00

1 , ,I ttlt , Y 1 ZI, 1855.1 i i be 0 d, 4,_ r . 4 L oa V, Ig wh( )I , - 11 IE TIE s. I lot/ ), Il tkt Is Nas oi 1 rul --7 lie r!,„ 4 t i q l k il a q % aloe/ es may with safety 1 f at?) ti1 E4:3%4 wh o Y. more severe than ha 'P2 'irq I'Ljatt.,Nyil, b,!Mcerely ps our n tit,lt 4,i ' l 4, i, 4 ll 4 t r e t our success. OSOPHY.—Asking IV -f j ,i, I , 41irt°484t,14b q ii e a co i ece,eirii;AT bless Itl tva. ancl rY we know • . o t g th i a —m. is when a I i t 1)e , , trm ici,,t r lgen . Oren are !" as the pi U " r o deetiN? e eh. gs ch . 60 11 ' , lie 1881' btlt ktowilig fees. 1 , 0 091 ‘eledito4 h e ?In be easily is like oil on th 6 kilgoill:Atrs wbeticiebteci" I skimmed off. le 04 k k 44_4- can h e r„... to you for life," 1 7 00 1 i fi 1/41,04.1.rwhil te x "n away to Australia /. , t by 4 ! d oul en h e Press my thanks," as I .eii iir! t tit lt a ,ge ta t , Ineuti,g)ave him a thrashing 11 . )1 ,6 i i i i 1.14114 ate th''e°llecternthit," as the man till' , r Itklell34 r i ch Clothes ofat his rates were ... 04. , 1 ,. t.. h te ,, Inon,s_ the dead; agr t ip, q l u zzi la rk .t blaze ent is one embroid( , ve ,,,, 110 ,4 1,140.11,1,, Iv or , hari-- of intelligence is of 1 ali c ‘e il', Nr l kk 4 on e e4 f eve: r, 3 l. other man's condil i t tv, t ; i ii ta e ), Wh e c f the 11.01.41 'Act,411,1,14 %ell Judiciously of hums . 0359;f" tialp(lieltl//Il'ulrsuit 'ol.lYe_be,ltowed, to iliel b , t ot th e only 9sopay._t,eeooll,9nce. Vitilx' ki4S'tbeehTlablelistfullwhen shenirgfindiffi t i T o? - oth er - dispositions always euses irre ,c,t k,.11.1 not yet ae s their happiness IV N t to ,as the 1 I tt /11 'IN' et loly dandy said ti tOf ti t lie tqlt,, of WOE 111 o A., ( 4 , of .—Stopping a I 0, , ' ~° 44 )) 1 'lfit,"'t the architect 0a I —gell o"ll,°;taorrow ~- -- and Hope builds ii Hope lays $OO 0: 1 4 4 th e i f !lg at a losasnlo t' pincushi slll' i7,,tw a e Ng te4r s in their morning , ,xttietiik!, a is failing eyes. she S 1 .1 . , i5,,,,41,Dia , but voifiliagolindinoestueeceneedtin off 5 : 111')414)348e does C e o n m y so weal hbol ~k4oPio:ly i w b i lat eyesmakes e my: w f n. lie 4 2 iii, 0-tlt wino was a 0 l ir Nt i Tui ei w l a s s e fi c r ause they are a i wag w . boi,g4, t4.44%rief,trabial invented, a n n weak , 4 04 4 face. , 950 years a used I go. It sti ' l O 4 Ci f All you [C t o i \Raek eZiStenceng lady f , that she has ascended Ile e 'l l ild, ' ti t I Z,Z 4N has left t oil a , to i s, 1, sheep ' s.h ead broth ae - ',,,, that eve] effectual btO „1 A ,N t 4k4,i v i , - .. r a.it Painter, say s 4 so , ' , , es h ic tr l ' ,Instance : the gi s fa t P 111,'.\,:. ' search warrant Ltil 0 l iti k k 4.0 r ( 1 1 1 N ‘ `‘,1c 1 in which the ostrich . 0 0 4 t k l,tsh co 4tzzeciet,Vly imaginingthat,, ei : 4 ar, l4 , t eor) /I'BR-,,eles• 0 l e) 41.-E .- th e - tee --•EOF THERE'S ot t', t4 4 , 4 No l elet t Par4ef which the_4 f v o e is 1 4 r*4,ll:teil'i,ad, ell ' , l . t, and the felloes ti fortt, i er • - °SSW. passio n ,4 0 ,„,,, e ~, activities an e f 0 Vtk ti tie9 4e sas it leaves th • i s a d mi e n n d er t g o ie o s [ iv 1, • Ne ,TIA--ox, o f , ‘4911415e St l . tt asked ' l , Ol O , , ~14. 1 1 co lt. ~ James's - park , Sir Robert Wal , 101 q4,-t;_ht,.etou.,, m adame ~ ' the with a v N‘k 'ax he Premier is s lie li fl N % th e . he h eir h 'an experienced. woman ili A l .., 144tikkell:Itsil_ cers_lat ni all the same .) „ ,9;fi t ,tt o ivelaee nother sprouting ,DP Att N tt n ?:y : 4 0 . f h 8 ), I i L ; I: C t E n • es - ; ‘ e c s S:lll ,, all for thank, t SUPPLEMENT TO THE LIVERPOOL STANDARD rule others. Labitual discontent. misfortunes, there • a young lady to man in clover mar- Arish clerk said on he water—it smiles as the man said to a. the boy said to his said when he was due. grave is but a plain 'iered. less value than the _lion, and to dislike Litman nature. ,ends to encourage ifferent, and telling you. think themselves with them. - to his " all round" horse at an empty most of the castles the foundation. lion made one of an found that all the ies, and succeeding good gracious me ! Lk ?" said a gentle- Why," she replied, place." to stain the cheeks ;ill reddens portions \t?d with the "upper in a balloon forty important aphorism . ually impair a man's Tything should be , ts should be printed i of the human spe no one can discover REVOLITTION. — The , the sovereign, the she people. among the worst of stagnant and too :s which constitute ipole what it would view to exclude the said to have replied, i, asserts, that when Le as when a lobster immediately, and lcs to you," said a ~1 1 4 11v 11 All • , - -" for what have said in tat hat ' said the conscious witness, " but just Fo VT,r,, t s q" . 4k D, to el 17* -- BY an advertisement headed thus, the \e t tl t • tjlied'ieen. invited to purchase " The Deep-Toned tili t o t ,Jet s to concert pitch," for is. 7d. in postage 'tir t ktk ' l ll,l l , °4 who remitted the stamps received in return Lak t kl eli t 4ti„L‘ t vhisti . ;N. 11 ( t Otr ord e Hungarian war, a . recruitwho was going 10, et h ad D e a r:se ih after ts h o av ng 1 li the cuts, u f l the enemy. An old tt itle l4l t 4 l % tti t l L Never : mind ec the parrying; only you cut, 4 11 ( 'Y d kl ! Pa rrY." n tia tniti 4 PRlsnmircs.—l had a good specimen of de tlint4jekb.4lY s tay in this city (Cincinnatti). I sent-for .4o to measure for a coat, and he returned for ic k h en " ` ° •hi, a a Proceeding was not republican, and that Lin /r iA.l i n CaptainCro; Marryatt. 4kalt-i; s lig a field came in contact with a donkey o' ll4 a' N t4l) 4 daylight hideous" with his unearthly N,i,,llli e ttn e .4" l3o d a moment in astonishment. Turning t o ,r'% e eil raPtured with the song, he remarked— h„Nkt‘jo ar that bird has for music, but he's got a ve It °i k!t °o 4e lx t•E " 11% -il t t t llt TiZ Gout —An alderman called ,, on Dr. 6,11 es a k CIW Illg dialogue took plate : Doctor, I ' ll ' of ta '''„ e ek. " h _b , cla to the out ; what shall Ido to arrest B Wate g r and a ton of anthracite three the one and carry the other up three REMORSE is the echo of a lost virtue. DANIEL DANCER, the miser who possessed an annual in come of £3,000, after wearing his old hat thirteen years, was prevailed upon to purchase a more decent one from a Jew for a shilling; but, instead of wearing it, as he intended, he sold it to a servant for eighteen-pence, and was highly gratified by clearing sixpence by the transaction. A LIKENESS NOT LlKE.—Gilbert Stewart, the celebrated portrait-painter, is said to have, once upon a time, met a lady in the street at Boston; who hailed him with—" Ah ! Mr. Stewart, I have just seen your likeness, and kissed it, because it was so like you." " And did it kiss you in retnrn ?" " Why, no." " Then," said Stewart, "it was not like me." OBJECTS OF LlFE.—Live more for others than yourself, and do not think that the end of talent is to make everyone miserable about you. He is the best philosopher who wipes away most tears. It is the curse of genius to torture others upon its own whimsicality, as boys do cockchafers on a bodkin, merely to see the unhappy wretches spin. —From Home Thoughts. DR. JOHNSON ON SLAVERY.—BosweII and Johnson were conversing upon the subject of a planter who so flogged his slave that he died. The doctor thundered savagely. " Well, but," said Boswell deprecatingly, " I have always held the man with a black face to be a connecting link between a man and a brute." " Sir," said Dr. Johnson, rolling his huge form from side to side, " and I have always held the man with a black heart to be a connecting link between a brute and the devil." A STUPENDOUS HALL.—It is believed that the largest room in the world under a single roof, and unbroken by pillars or other obstructions, is at St. Petersburgh, Russia, and is 650 feet in length and 150 feet in breadth. By daylight it is used for military displays, and a battalion can conveniently manceuvre in it. In the evening it is often converted into a vast ball-room, when it is warmed by sixteen prodigious stoves, and 20,000 wax tapers are required to light it properly. The roof of this structure is a single arch of iron, the bars alone on which it rests weighing 12,830 pounds. HORSE TiaLs.—The tail of the horse is considered an em blem of dignity in Turkey, from the fact that a Turkish army once lost its standard in battle, when the leader, to inspire the drooping courage of his men, cut off the tail of a horse, hoisted it on the head of a spear, and rallied his force to vic tory. As a reward, he received military promotion, the em blem of which was a horse's tail. The rank of the owner is known by the number of tails he is allowed, the highest being three, and the officers are called " Pashas of three tails." THE TOBACCO QUESTION. — Suppose a tobacco chewer is addicted to the habit of chewing tobacco fifty years of his life, and that each day of that time he consumes two inches solid plug, it amounts to six thousand four hundred and seventy five feet, making nearly one mile and a quarter in length of solid tobacco, half an inch thick and two inches broad. Now, what would the young beginner think if he had the whole amount stretched out before him, and were told that to chew it would be one of the exercises of his life, and also it would tax his income to the amount of two thousand and ninety-four dollars ? _ LEFT-lIA.NDED COMPLIMENTS.—Curran used to relate with great glee a mishap which befel a Roman Catholic bishop who went up to the castle to adulate the lord-lieutenant. The Roman Catholic opposition had been neutralised by promises retributively unfulfilled for nearly thirty years. It seems one of Lord Cornwallis's eyes was smaller than the other, and had acquired a quick, perpetual, oscillating motion. The addressers, who had never seen him, had elaborated their compliments in the country. His excellency was on his throne, in high state, when Bishop Lanigan, of Kilkenny, at the head of his clergy, auspiciously commenced :—" Your excellency has always kept a steady eye upon the interests of England"—the room was in a roar. Never," said Curran, " did I hear its match, except in the Mayor of Coventry's compliment to Queen Elizabeth— " When the Spanish armada attacked your Majesty,they caught the wrong sow by the ear I" KIND BUT SIMPLE. Two sailors, one Irish, the other English, agreed reciprocally to take care of each other in case of either beinc , wounded in an action about to commence. It was not long before the Englishman's leg was shot off by a cannon ball ; and, on his calling to Paddy to carry him to the doctor, ac cording to the agreement, the other very readily complied ; but he had scarcely got his wounded companion on his back when a second ball struck off the poor fellow's head. Paddy, who, through the noise and disturbance common in a sea engage ment, had not perceived his friend's last misfortune, continued to make the best of his way to the surgeon. An officer ob serving him with a headless trunk upon his shoulders, asked where he was going. "To the doctor," said Paddy. " The doctor !" says the officer ; " why, you blockhead, the man has lost his head." On hearing this he flung the body from his shoulders, and looking at it very attentively, " Why," says he, " he told me it was his leg." SLANDED.—SIander is a gift exclusively human. So little of mere animality is there in it that it is practised only in the fullest perfection amongst the most refined and civilised of the human species. A commonplace person slanders only his enemies, and that, too, on the strong provocation of rivalry, or some other powerful and pressing interest ; but to fashionable idlers slander is daily bread; and there are never two or three of them gathered together but it is the staple of their ordinary discourse. If it were requisite to give an accurate definition of what constitutes polite conversation, one might describe it as turning wholly on persons, and never venturing upon the discussion of things. Go into twenty fashionable drawing. rooms, or boudoirs, and in nineteen of them you will find the theme of discourse to be neither literature, politics, nor science, but the merits (that is to say, the demerits, for the absent are ever in the wrong,) of some person who has just left the room, or has otherwise incidentally been brought upon the tapir, ESSENCE OF "PUNCH." LES " ROGUES " DE L'ANGLETERRE.—Our Red-Tapists. A SUPERFICIAL PHILOSOPHER.—EIectro-Plato. ONE WHO ALWAYS SPEARS COLLECTEDLY.--A Tax gatherer. SHOE BRIGADE BOY (to Old Gent, irascible from gout, which has settled in his feet). "Now, sir ! did you want your shoes blacked ? " NOTICE OF MOTION.—Lord John Russell. To move an humble address to Her Majesty, stating that the House of Commons is half inclined for a vigorous prosecution of the war. MIND YOUR LETTERS.—In the Panopticon there is written up, over several apiaries, " Never kill a Bee." A facetious Country Cousin says, since the advice is intended for Cockneys, it would be much better to tell them " Never Murder a H." - ... THE GREATEST CITIZEN OF THE WORLD.—The most per fect, most universal cosmopolitan, must have been Old Fuller, for go where you will, you will meet with Fuller's Earth on almost every Soil. THE NEWSPAPER BLlGHT.—Already the blight is telling upon the trees and suckers of knowledge—the Cheap News papers. At the time of our going to press, the Farthing Manchester Rocket had been quenched in a gutter, and the Halfpenny Leeds Volcano had ceased even to smoke. The Billericay Butterfly was very feeble on the wing, and the Penny Guinea Pig, or Warrington Whole Hog at its last squeak. SENTIMENTS FOR THE BOUDOIR.—FairIy cutting off the wings of the butterfly—such is the attempt to define love. Love is the only tyrant whose laws are obeyed without mur muring. The woman who succeeds in making a fop love her, prevents that fop, to an equal extent, from loving himself; the preference is not a very flattering one. Love is about the only passion that has the power of making a man change his cha racter or his dress. She is the most beautiful whom we love the most ; and the woman we love the most is frequently the one to whom we talk of it the least. The melancholy of a disappointed lover is like the dead light that burns over a tomb. Love is fed upon the lightest pastry—Friendship upon solid beef. To give to those who want est un plaisir—to give to those we love est un bonheur ! REMARKABLE BANNING OPERA-TIONS.—It is said that Her Majesty's Theatre is about to be opened as a West-End Branch of the Bank of England. This, indeed, would be an illustration of the meeting of extremes ; for what can be more opposite than a ruined theatre, and the wealthiest banking establishment in Europe ? The locality is undoubtedly one from which notes of the highest value have been issued, but it will be a somewhat novel experiment to send forth Bank of England notes from a spot where those of Grisi and other celebrities have acquired their currency. If business is to commence immediately, the Bank-parlour will have to be made up of a set-scene, and the directors will possibly have to meet in the " sacred grove " of the Druids ; while the issue depart ment may be carried on through the openings in the " cut wood "of the Sonnambula. We hope, for the sake of the once _spirited proprietor, that the rumour we have mentioned is founded in truth, for he could not get rid of all his old scores more successfully than by converting his theatre into a branch of the Bank of England. SPIRIT OF " DIOGENES." WANTED IN A BREWERY.—A porter, hale and stout. WANTED FOR THE CIVIL SERVICE.—CiviI servants. VEIT ? TILL LATE.—There is a word which, by some acci dent or other, has lately crept into the English language, with out any definite or plausible reason, and which is being worried by members of parliament and public speakers to such a degree as to make us quite feel for it. We allude to the word "Yen. tilate." That is to say, if an orator wishes to imply that he has discussed any particular matter with some freedom, he declares that he has only " ventilated it." There may be a great amount of sense—nay, even poetry—in this fancy ; which however, we cannot well appreciate. To our thinking, one might just as well talk of a subject being aired or left to cool, as ventilated : and we suppose we shall soon hear of a warm debate being hastily brought to a close for fear of its catching cold. HOUSEHOLD ECONOMY. To CLARIFY SUGAR.—Break your sugar into large lumps, and to every pound put half a pint of water : set it over the fire with the white of an egg, well whipt ; let it boil, and, when ready to run over, check it with a little cold water; when it rises again, take it off the fire, and set it by in the pan for twenty minutes ; then take the scum gently off, and pour the syrup into a vessel very quickly from the sediment. GOOSEBERRY FOOL.—Put in a pan a quart of green goose berries, with a wine-glass of water and half a pound of sugar; stew on a slow fire for twenty minutes, keep stirring ; put in basin, and whip a pint of cream ; when the fruit is c old, mix with the cream, and serve in cups or hollow dish, or with pastry round. A pint and a half of milk, instead of the pint of cream, makes a very nice dish. COLD VEAL DRESSED WITH WHITE SIIICE.—BoiI milk or cream with a thickening of flour and butter; put into it thin slices of cold veal, and simmer it in the gravy till it is made hot without boiling. When nearly done, beat up the yolk of an egg with a little anchovy and white sauce; pour it gently to the rest, stirring it all the time ; simmer again the whole together, and serve it with sippets of bread and curled bacon alternately. , r-1, vo i si; , l J o) 64,1 f oe trti, e 9 lo` 4