The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser. — Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1855-06-19 00:00:00

SUP? GFOR.GE TUE TIOILD'S DIJINER.—" Mr. Addington; in a letter to his brother, dated December 29th, says :--`i am just returned from Kew ; where I passed an hour and a half with His Majesty, and partook of his dinner. As the reader may probably have some curiosity to know what delicacies com prised the royal bane:net, the quotation is finished. ' Which consisted of mutton chops and pudding. " ' —The Duke of Buckingham's Court and Cabinets (I George 111. MARRIAGE CEREMONY AMONG TUE MEDEs.—The mar riages of the i'vledes were consecrated by a curious ceremony. The plighted pair, in the presence of their mutual relatives and friends, nanZe an incision in each other's arms, and min gled their blood, which Was received into a goblet and drunk as a pledge of harmony by the bride and bridegroom. The nuptials were then registereC., and celebrated by a feast ex tending over several days.— History of Wo2non, by S. W. Fallon?. CoNMON SENSE. —lle late Duke of Wellington, who had great respect for common sense, used to tell the following anecdote :—" When I was following a ra t iah, in India, we came to a great sandy plain, to cross which was impossible, with the enemy's cavalry hovering about us. The spies said there was a river in front which I could not cross, as it had no bridges, and that I must therefore make a &tour to the right or left. I, however, took the cavalry, and pushed onto the river, till I was near enough to take a view of it with a spy-glass, when I saw that there were two villages opposite each other, on different sides of the river. I immediately said to myself, ' People would never be fools. enough to build two towns immediately opposite on a great river if they could not get from one to the other.' So I moved on, and sure enough there was a bridge between the towns. We crossed it, and licked the rajah." THE LATE CZAR AND ITIS DYING DAUGUTER.—On reach- St. Pete: - sburo., after a journey of extraordinary rapidity even for him, the Czar found that little hope was entertained of his daughter's recovery. He was informed that an interview with the princess, in 'the condition she was then in, might prove dangerously agitating to her. Ordering his couch, therefore, to be made up on a sofa in her apartment, screened from her view, he passed sleepless hours in listening to her moans and to the words that were to prove her last. While there he heard her ask for his portrait, and, addressiag it tenderly as her " Dear Papa," with many expressions el the affection she felt for a most indulgent parent, request that it might be placed in her coffin. The scene was too much for the iron man, and this descendant of the Great Peter fainted as he lay listening. —Harrison's Nine Year; in Russia. SAFETY IN DEBT.— It requires great coolness and expe rience to steer a canoe down these rapids; and a short time before our arrival two Americaus had ventured to descend them without boatmen, and were consequently upset. As the story was reported to us, one of them owed his salvation to a singular circumstance. As the accident took place imme diately opposite the town, many of the inhabitants were at tracted to the bank of the river to watch the struggles of the unfortunate men, thinking any attempt at a rescue would be hopeless. Suddenly, however, a person appeared rushing to wards the group, frantic with excitement. "Save the man with the red hair !" he vehemently shouted ; and the exer tions which were makle in. consequence of his earnest appeals proved successful, and tLe red-haired individual, in an ex hausted condition, was safely landed. "He owes me eighteen dollars," said his rescuer, drawing a long breath and looking .approvingly on his assistants. The red-haired man's • friend had not a crqditcr at the Sault, and, in default of a competing daim, was allowed to pay his debt to nattite. " And I'll tell you what it is, stranger," said the narrator of the foregoing incident, complacently drawing a moral therefrom—" a man'll never know how necessary he is to society, if he don't make his life valuable to his friends as well as to his-self."—Black wood's Magazine. FAT MEN.—There is something cordial about a fat mar.. Everybody likes him,anO he likes everybody. Your Ishmaelites are, in truth, a bareboned race; a lank tribe they are, skeleton and bile. Food does a fat man goad ; it clings to him ; it fructifies on him ; he swells nobly out, and fills a generous space in life. He is a living, walking minister of gratitude to the earth and the fulness thereof; an incarnate testimony against the vanities of care; a radiant manifestation of the wisdom of good humour. A fat man, therefore, almost in virtue of being a fat man, is, per se, a popular man, and com monly be deserves his popularity. In a crowded vehicle, the fattest man will ever be the most ready to make room. In deed, he seems to be half sorry for his size, lest it be in the way of others ; but others would not have him less than he is, for his humanity is usually commensurate with his bulk. A. fat man has abundance of rich juices. The hinges of his sys tem are well oiled; the springs of his being are noiseless; and so he goes on his way rejoicing, in full contentment and pla cidity: A fat mar. - feels his position solid in the world ; he knows that his being is _cognisable; he knows that he has a marked place in the universe, and that he need take no extra pains to advertise mankind that he is among them ' • he knows that he is in no danger of being overlooked. It does really take a deal of wrong to make one really hate a fat man; and if we are not always as cordial to a thin man as we should be, Christian charity should take into account the fcrce of preju dice which we have to overcome against his thinness. A fat man is nearest to that most perfect of figures, a mathematical sphere; a thin man to that most limited of conceivable dimen= sions, a simple line. A fat man is .a being of. harmonio us lame, and holds relations to the material universe in every di rection ; a thin man has nothing but length ; a thin man, in fact, is but the continuation of a point.--Lectures of Henry ,EMENT TO THE f, - .'VERPOOL STANDARD VA RIET WrIAT most resembles half a cheese ? The other half. • WHEN 18 a lobster like a mortar ?—When it casts its shell. IF two hogsheads make a pipe, how many would make a cigar ? IF a small boy be called a lad, is it proper to call a bigger bey a ladder ? - SOME MEN, like pictures, are fitter fcr a ccrner than a full Seneca. TIIE HEIGHT OF GALLANTRY. — Kissing a woman who takes snuff. NATURAL PHILOSOPHY. - It is singular that, when bills become due, their aeceptorsareoften mist. _ _ , THE game of fashionable life is to play hearts against diamonds. TuEnE is no music like the voice of a happy child, and no beauty like that in the face of an intelligent one. SHUN the tale-bearer. Whoever entertains you with the faults of others, will entertain others with yours. WORTH REMEMEERING.—If you neglect to use your legs, your legs will ultimately be of little use to you. THE MAN who was a ' picture of despair" has been set in a " serious frame of mind," and hung—in the back parlour. HARSH WORDS are like hailstones in summer, which, if melted, would fertilise the tender plants they batter down. THE best counsel for plaintiff and defendant—Don't go to law. WHEN do our riflemen deliver an unpleasant message to the Russians ?—When they give them a bulletin. Yoga word is your servant as long as you retain it, but it becomes your master when you suffer it to escape. JonN BRIGHT is carrying out his peace principles so far, that he will not allow his dairymaid to clout any more cream. WHAT is a floating pier ?—A nobleman whose means barely enable him to keep his head above water. SALLY JONES says, when she was in love, she felt as if she was in a railway tunnel, with a train of carriages coming both ways. " PAT; you arc wearingyonr stockings wrong side outward," " Och, and don't I know it, to be sure—there's a hole on the other side, there is." A MAN'S CHARACTER is like a shadow, which sometimes precedes him • and which is occasionally l onger , occas i ona ll y shorter than he is.—From the French. IT makes all the difference, whether we pursue a certain course because we judge it right : or judge it to be right because we pursue it.—Archbishop Whateley. A LADY OF COLOUR, who recently came out in Philadel phia, as . a Shakesperean reader, has assumed the title of the " Black Siddons. ON a child being told, the other day, that he must be broken off a bad habit, he acutely replied, "Papa, hadn't I better be mended 1" HARTLEY COLERIDGE being asked which of Wordsworth's productions he considered the prettiest, very promptly replied —" His daughter Dora." OLD BACHELORS.—Miss Tucker says it's with old bachelors as with old Wood it is hard to get them started, but when they do take flame they burn prodigiously. A FISHY MAN.—When may a man be said to have a fishy origin ?—When his father was a "good soul," and his mother a little "common place." "Is there much water in the cistern, Biddy ?" inquired a gentleman of his Irish girl, as she came up from the kitchen. —" It is full on the bottom, sir, but there's none at all on the top," was the reply. WE do not simply die, we often kill ourselves. Our habits, our passions, our anxieties of body and mind ; these shorten our lives, and prevent us from ever reaching the natural limit of human existence. . AT Long Island, U.S., very recently, a colonel, of very slender proportions, challenged a citizen to fight a duel. The citizen declined, unless the colonel would feed himself up sufficiently to be a mark to shoot at. A COACHMAN in the establishment of the Prince of Wales, in 1743, who used to drive the maids of honour, was so sick of them, that he left his son £3OO upon condition that he never married a maid of honour. _ _ EDUCATING CirLDBEN.--Michelet says, in writing of edu cating c;:ildren "They can imbibe but a very little every day. Like a vase withl a narrow neck, pour little or pour much, you will never get a great deal at a time." A PARISIAN ROLBER, who was seized in the act of stealing in the shop of a tobacconist, said, by way of excusing himself, that he never heard of a law which forbade a man to take snuff. AN INNKEEPER observed a postilion with only one spur, and inquired the reason. " Why, what would be the use of anetEer ?" said the postilion, " if one side of the horse goes the other side can't stand still." DR. CABIN having heard the famous Thomas Fuller repeat some verses on a scolding wife, was so delighted with them as to request a copy. " There is no necessity for that," said Fuller, " as you have got the original." NEVER JUDGE FROM APFEARANCES.—To show how decep tive appearances are—is it not a fact, as plain as the National Gallery, that infinitely mere gentlemen are mistaken for waiters, than waiters fcr gentlemen ? PHONETICAL. BULL.—A veritable entry, made by , the secre tary of a Division of the Sons o f Tem p erance, read thus : "Amer gwine thru the yewzel fawns, there was a collecksbin takin up, but notbin' was paid in.. T H E OEIGIN OF "RotravrEkAD. —ln' the time of Charles the Queen once seeing the celebrated Pym closely crop . ped, in vired who that roundheaded man was ? From this thektent Pyre's party were atyled " The Roundheads." to ~ BX&lEr.ons arc not entirely les t ;toa t liar meat, as will be seen by tbe leirrcel ei/11 —and h wn e audeneeot ra dryb u r Lia rs - a i b u u s t ed h e t gardenratern i o t i y i f at, e c 0 • t E thh ß ae S ts i do V le l ig : 0 rn s i jafoynlsa_Rese i cp n oa i no i s..x. ; i i ez a p t ' rtrol parlour of a mansion rather !argil', on' s c n:a -Nra k °b es lTeir t . h i e N m a ssoitlsovseolyg, raase:emfulliVturglPerirfc:4ll" portment towards their parents fn? to " eve plainest face beautiful, and give' 4;c! nameless but peculiar charm- l'or; irC;S' A YANKEE ALLEGOLY.---A,7:' eji 0 19 "sporting gentleman," who kciP"' rats," makes a. bet to harness a ' in a light waggon up the 13r 09 '' fact, a retired whipper-in of the ; hinimg ifr al ln siet lSHMAN was thrashingi rv v i o l f g ife , r , o T u i s i l e y. poo A r word you say."—" It is its off'hears me every day." r b wl a hi t ee t dr l e l sy n o : Fl e e : man, having 11(1 , A SOLDIER who had receivecla e I'll seated them to an invalided elnl' think you should keep the 13111,1 o g f et n A SHAD FISHERMAN, of the to the Philadelphia Inquirer, 4 bates that trafick in the deals' with there spla.shin and ray , , against this, and takes the ind:.;Pe was invented afore stenabotes. pelenisletytonro:e, THERE is living within tivei; has a father and mother, gra nu ' of grandfather and great gran di and great great grandnaother,mf This is really an extraor dinary tions.—American Paper. EofFteFnEOtTuarnOs h OF the e 0 M Dal " "31°usv once into love, love into enaturedgoo It choleric man into an assassin.roo, ment, it makes vanity iastlPP°defortaiti. At ti spot of the soul in its utmost s_eidoal it „ftell An o . e .o ,, Tuutsms.—Borrowed r,', olllJ 3lea wdie ' often trips up its own heels. p ride Pali they are not ashamed to 'netdrovin the devil's gardens. More are,l oo v aaniot ' in the ocean. He who buYs via!' o rri obliged to sell his necessalles',..o - them not is like an thistles. • ~,, LATEST DEFINITION OF „d ink self-relying, always trying, f''''otor , is a lover of piety, propriet9,llg, ciety. He is a dragging , geg',,.re'ot''_,, swapping, jostling, hustling , .,„' e vair tronomical, philosophical, r t , iof character, whose manliest the remotest corner of the eA - WlDowS.—There's nothin. ll`, their minds to marry, it don`; otx afraid of thunder and lightnilib' on she would run into Mr. SO % and clasp her little hands, 911„tdi half distracted for fear she " storms s e was,ratleisdheowveasr her UGLY American Paper. CO I ' UGLY FACTS FOR uTT GLY cially hated by all other eice,l, money can do everything , are od thing for money. The onlyg(2o o the little happiness there I ; ,L,,,,t\ angry with a weak man s t r ong yourself. .Solitude is_ the' the of the wicked, and the PS ef dise--, nium, purgatory i and Pa ra "tion enters. Scandal s the rep.- c under the W the lv in E ti s ue v n i e T e u o f'eflelcilde t d o friJ exse. They would rejoicwe qs some e etude habitor manner removed, b tthkeniieb cis . 1 ,5 ashamed to acknowledge , r ola manage them, you niust discover thL€ them; and if you can renter libe i a in re in th d e u y lg: v n r g on yof tormenting you, an d y o you h c em m n fw o: ri : t e l x i f p g e I nd e cea : " HEAR, HEAR . l• "As You Like It, at the the s f o u r n m e a e n o c l e iawasenlivenedw w int b hy y ti t ,b n ev ell have upon the mind, occurred in the fourth at, w. 13 - er f4. ever died for love, concludes D " e l eilten ' IP; titre to time. and worms 11a7, tte_ upon which an elderly gV3.xtle_tsent, °ot); great. gravity as if he sat Ra n . _ .., er fect hear !" which set the Wise F ir , ; Orel!rube LO , 13, 'p , h ty k‘th.-"t t 4, thki 11Pti ri Siciv„, ',0. , sc or iiktejtvio .. oh_ , lairl'\„Vo; Alp resa.lls',.to 'ilt.4 Vri " ell; 1o:4$: 0 1 : 1 5 0 lio ree it \t' ile.o /I°tlse ' w'i 4 5.4 1 101" .id ' tik l ) *l : a the Dilla-llets.o.'' t . , 1 11 :i ia tb e 0. 0 ; ' IZ , r, . w bo ~,,if ; to . i . 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