The Sun. — London, England, 1844-12-27 00:00:00

THE PANTOMIMES, ETC. IMURY-LANE THEATRE. b k fter the performance of Balfe's opera of the au gider of St. Mark, which was played here la t 4 'gilt for the twenty-third time, the new Christmas pantomime of Harlequin and Robinson Crusoe was rce ught forth. Th e a u dience was less noisy than D ual, and waited with most exemplary patience for 14 rising of the curtain that was to give them a view Itheir old f r i en d s R o bi nson C rusoe an d hi s man „,„ 1.141 3 7 . The pantomime opened in a very promising manner, with a sketch of a distressed author who was ; kil lit of a subject for his usual Christmas enter ttr:rn ent. In this exigence the fairy Puck comes i t ' ll ' s assistance, and giving him his choice of a sub -I,llt, be selects the favourite tale of Robinson Crusoe. L e first scene represents Crusoe wrecked on the . 0 7ert island, and carrying out his cargo from the 0 3 1. which lies high and dry on the shore. Some ? ti gliter was excited by the acting of Mr. H. l Y n e (Crusoe) in this scene, who displayed k il eb bro a d pantom i m i c h umour . W e nex t fi n d hi m it ueing hi mse lf t o a party of Caribee Indians, a '9 l some of w h o m h e dances the Polka in a very rt, 'Anasical style. His man Friday (Wieland) now L. k L ie e s Las appearance on the stage, and a very laugh the Scene takes place between him and his master in t atter's house, tg built with his own hands," when teache s his servant how to cook a leg of mutton n s b ° ll a pudding. While they are seated at supper 1 4. ' 1 a party of young Caribs, other Indians rush ir4 the, scene changes to the old wreck, and Crusoe t y k ediately afterwards is seen taking his departure T h , t he " Waterman " steamer for London-bridge. t i. usual transformations now take place :—The til t ...bee king is changed into the Clown (T. Mat -11,41), his club-bearer into Pantaloon (Howell), ''., s ti ,. c eParamatta into Harlequin( Wieland), while Miss 4, 41 comes forward as Columbine. The first scene k `ge Pantomimic transformations is the exterior of a Bing on wherein the Clown and Pantaloon, while eing on the violincello and bassoon, are suddenly 7 lip into the air, and let drop again on their ~l e .stools—an ingenious trick, which was much Mended. The exterior of the Insolvent Debtors' t ) ; 4 ", which changing to the baths and wash-house t tt the labouring classes, was a very bustling affair, W as sadly deficient in point, except in the solitary irttlatee when the warm-water baths were changed boiling -water baths by the maladroit pumping 4 t he Clown, and the bathers come out parboil e d . ° trick of Harlequin in the bag with his head cut f r . kr hs also an ingeniously managed device ; but we k r °lll ' praise of the pantomime must close with this , the concluding scenes were exceedingly heavy, i ll ' Were scarcely redeemed by the humorous manner the Clown sang the old song of " Hot Cod -14, gt" The last scene of her Majesty's christening t o Royal Exchange was, comparatively speakin g , r '.°.hd indeed the whole pantomime went off hea v ily, 4 1 , 4 is not remarkable for splendid scenery, neither ' a t all recommended by humour or ingenuity. COVENT-GARDEN THEATRE. 1 14 ,'Iis the a t re o p ene d l as t n i g ht f o r a brief season ' 44 'l' the management of Mr. s Laurent. Its stage i tit b een devoted to so many purposes foreign to the Itt el4 , that it was pleasing to find its curtain rising niore for an English play, even though it was fat s tanding dish for a Christmas audience, George tif"lwell. It require some time to test the policy ,"ticed price s , but their effect, joined to the holi lirelsking spirit of the season, was seen last night 14, 1 °4° of the most numerous audiences ever assem hp,' there. The house was literally crammed in No, Part. Th e grea t a ttr ac tion of the night was, o f t i ", the pa n t om i me , which is the production of Mr. r. 0 ? ... 3° °. Lee, entitled Harlequin Crotchet and Quaver, op e -44 tir for the Million. The generality of pantomimes with a burle s que of some well-known story, the 11: 4te Of which are readily seized by the audience, R t ;, e lle) however, is an exception to the rule, and, gar, not a happy one, and as the audience seemed 4 0 4 ined not to listen to the opening dialogue, the I ltene s could hardly be understood. The first ` the Hall of Discord, a grotesque scene, that N IA i lave been imagined by Phiz himself; the body e4cl the Demon is a band of brass instruments, the ol ~ivith emotion as well as sound ; to these, as (IN: Play-books say, the Demon rises in a gigantic from which he emerges, and, after lamenting Progress of music, he summons Sharp, Flat, and ,dtural, three of the ordinary masked spirits of Pan (°Siitne to aid him in spreading discord, he having lk il littady gained them over from the cause of Apollo and t t t e kdy—the last the good genius of the plot. le also engages the m t o ca rry o ff Y oung C ro t c h e t, of e ° is in love with Miss Semiquaver, the daughter De misemiquaver. Apollo sends Mercury to chal tile the Demon to a trial of skill, a pantomime, and 4/ k a elle succeeds in which Mercury commands the tl f Melody for his master in the coming contest, er e is some pretty music in this scene, and the }togiven by. Miss Lyons as Melody was encored, e cottage of Demisemiquaver is then shown—a 1 1 43 e, which is an entire musical composition, for it t c ,: % , red by music books, with trumpets d o i ng d u ty tz litnnies, and the front covered with notes. The i 4t r o t lon offers old Demisemi to change all these notes gold if he will give him his daughter. He con ta. tr arnd the transformation takes place, in a very ge t t i lye manner, every dot being turned to a sove te' The Demon's band have previously carried t he lovers to the " Cottage on the Cleff,'' tli, hle k h is then exhibited, and here Apollo effects t h :°ange of all the characters into the comic person the ' Who have to caper and cuff and frolic through th te st of the pantomime. A novelty in this one is ti feetL of there being two harlequins and two colum t,C . The Clown was Mr. C. Marsh, and the Pan keys 00 Mr. T. Blanchard; the duplicate harlequins Cp Smithers and Frampton ; the brace of b, ars. b il :rnbines Misses Massall and Ryalls. The com i c tl. 4 4 ;ess includes hits at most of the topics of the day ; 1R hest of them was a Lord Mayor's procession, k; 4 the u man in brass," and placards hinting at lk s i : i . ti Oh settlements,"- &c., which produced roars of leC t er, and the washing-houses of the people, with a t 4 "I .( ' on bathing, the Clown including a dissertation tt. °4 l 3, The gaming -houses, photography, union die cheap tailors, and miraculous pills, all furnish rnish111 1 ; 11 ' quota of fun. The last scene, presenting an exterior, p tti l i t changes into a clockmaker's shop, with a ll th e It% t ' l linnis moving, and clock-dials walking about the was capitally managed, and told exceedingly k, It, concludes, of course, with a gorgeous hpl e Y scene,- the curtain falling upon a " blaze of Of Lrio 4( tour, which we hope will be converted into one thph.„ HAYMARKET THEATRE. t ob tth e seas on o f Chri s t mas , amongs t it s var i ous th e yea of amusement, is especially prolific in th e 4 1 , 4t i0a1, and nowhere is public expectation more °I being gratified, than at the Haymarket. The t 'f lure, on the present occasion, could not have it L ll sele c t e d w i t h more j u d gment, or h ave afforded 11, ° , li mer treat to the audience. It was no drawback c % : l the evening's entertainment that the favourite ri o : 4 3' of Old Heads and lowly Hearts, which has tath e en performed upwards of thirty times, and is Increasing than declining in popularity, was titl,, ()S p erl 116 the introductory piece of the night. Th e fir s 4 ; 44 of this admi ra bl e pl a y was es t a bli s h e d f rom th e 4 1 - It is, in fact, exceedingly well adapt e d f or rk, gctig int o ac ti on th e w h o l e streng th o f th e Hay t Corps. Where . , all the acting was beyond I ~ l ,e must not make selections, but it is almost ti.:„ °s ''e 'ible to avoid saying that Farren and Buck olceeded themselves, and elicited repeated bursts Ily fai nter and applause. The comedy was susceeded 4- n ew " Grand Moving Diorama, or Pictorial P 1 4,,, 4 14 Switzerland." Of the artistical skill dis 4ihj: i ll the preparation of this diorama it is impos- Dr ell speak too highly. The views successively lake e4 ted to the spectators included the town and sh at: Zurich, th e town of Wellenburg, the snowy t,11,: 17 °F the Alps, Tell's chapel en the Lake of Uri, agli e , ri l e of Hasli and snow y p e ak s of th e G rea t 4 4ri: ec ks interi or o f th e d ungeon o f Chillon—a spot ty r -11114 d with an intense interest by the genius of in the beautiful poem commencing with the _ Chillon's dungeons, deep and old, TLis-kbere are seven columns, massive and gray." t exhibition is the production of Mr. P. l'oput a l : f ,.' 1114 Cannot but add greatly to his previous of ti 3 i*E". This, however, was not the grand feature .4 a ew tlight v my more than the opening comedy. gallw►llll4 they grand musical fairy extrava -490; u3' the author of The Fair One with the Golden and many other pieces of a similar rnx SU.N, .LON 2N ON, FRI DAY MORN' ;NG, DECRAI BER, .27. 1344. kind, naturally formed the grand attraction of e Christmas entertainment. It was founded or a well-known tale of the nursery by the Countess D'Anois, entitled Graciosa and Percinet. In a case of this sort it would be fruitless, and itj certainly is not necessary, to give any detail of plot, since all the world, or at least that part of it who are addicted to such amusements, must be aware that the whole charm is in the dialogue, which, in the present in stance, was most skilfully constructed, with view to exciting the risible powers of the audience. It may be as well, however, just to state that the piece turns upon the love of King Uxorious, a widower, unexpectedly bewitched (Mr. J. Bland), for the Duchess Grogon, a maiden lady of a very uncertain age, the owner of a capital cellar (Mrs. Stanley), and the jealousy of the latter against her step-daughter, for whom she conceives an invete rate dislike at first sight, which she evinces by invent ing every method of torturing her. We should mention, by the way, that Lord Nimroddy, who acted as grand huntsman to the King, exhibited the character in the most amusing light. In the working out of Duchess Grogon's plots against Gra ciosa ample opportunity was afforded for introducing a very sprightly and most unexpected collocation of words, which, as they fell upon the ear in quick succession, called forth shouts of spontaneous laughter. Miss Julia Bennett, as the Princess Graciosa, a model for daughters, and Miss P. Horton, as a Fairy Prince, and the perfection of lovers, were each truly admirable, and sustained the characters throughout in the most effective manner. Several duets were executed by them during the progress of the piece. The ballet evinced that great care had been taken in the prepa ration of this most necessary department. We must particularly notice the introduction of a number of tiny dancers, who were introduced incidentally. Judging from appearance, they could not have been, on the average, more than five or six years old, yet the greatest order was preserved; and Masters Dot, Trot, Tiny, Tip, Mite, Atom, and Grain, together with Misses Midge, Mok, Speck, Spangle, Drop, Pinshead, &c., exhibited a perfect miniature of the elder ballet. On the whole, it is impossible to speak too highly of the evening's entertainment. Not a single incident occurred to interrupt the harmony of the scene. Carlotta Grisi and Perrot. The dance over, and the mutton demolished, Orson has a hunt after some pea sants who have been poaching on his preserves, hav ing previously vowed vengeance against the editor of an Orleans newspaper, who has been denouncing him as a public nuisance. Then comes the combat with Valentine, interrupted by a friendly glass of sherry drank by the combatants and the bear, while they stop to take breath, and the captivity of Orson, who humbly expresses hope that . the bonds with which he is bound are not of Pennsylvanian lands, For then I ne'er shall get them off my hands." Orson is then conveyed to the Court of King Pippin, where he creates great confusion. He wishes to know the designation and use of a certain article of male attire, the name of which King Pippin informs him is never heard. He skewers a cook for wishing to dress his meat, and he winds up by getting very drunk and kicking up a row. In the meanwhile Eglantine has conned male attire, has transformed all her maids of honour into warlike knights, and has sallied forth to free Florimonda from the power of Agramant. The scene of the evolutions of the female warriors told admirably. They were excellently drilled, and Miss Fairbrother made an admirable Commander-in chief. Before her absence is discovered, Valentine has undertaken the adventure of the liberation of Florimonda, and Henry and his brother meet Agra ment at the station of the Orleans railway, for the purpose of plotting the destruction of Valentine. In this scene Wigan introduced an admirable bur 'mine of Macready's style, which was much and deservedly applauded. The imitation was perfect. Voice, action, manner, positions, or, to speak more correctly, poses—all the Macreadyisms were ad mirably hit off. Their schemes, however, fail ; they attempt to shoot Valentine in the back, but he catches the bullets in his hands, a la Satan, or Don Cmsar de Baz an. Agramant is overthrown. A magic brazen head explains everything to the satisfaction of everybody, and Orson is endowed with reason and marries Florionda, while Valentine is rewarded with the hand of Eglantine. Keeley's Orson is a very rich and racy piece of unctious acting. From the first scene to the last he kept the audience in a roar the whole time he was on the stage. Mrs. Keeley's Valentine was ex ceedingly spirited and clever, and Frank Matthews went through the part of the King with becoming dignity. There are several witty parodies on popular songs, all of which were well given, and one of them, very prettily sung by Miss Arden, was honoured with an encore. The house was crowded, and the success of the piece was complete and triumphant. Pantaloon (Mr. Sanders), endeavoured to realise these to the utmost. The scenes were well painted. The allusions, political and anti-political, were well timed, and many of them told well with the audience. The management deserves great credit for the care with which the pantomime was produced ; and the over flowing house will, we trust, be a preliminary evi dence of success for many weeks to come. Tale of Sorrow, the principal characters in which were ably personated by Mr. Henry Howard, Mr. J. T. Johnson, from the Surrey Theatre, his first ap- pearance here, Mr. Searle, Mr. John Herbert, Miss Vincent, and Miss E. Terry, also from the Surrey Theatre, her first appearance on these boards. Thia : l was followed by the laughable burletta of The Road: side inn, in which Miss Terrey, who is a very clever actress, and a great favourite with the playgoers on the Surrey side of the water, introduced the " Widow Mahony," and was rapturously encored. The most discordant noises, however, prevented the words which came from the mouths of the actors being heard in the majority of the scenes, and the utmost• impatience was manifested by the audience for the commencement of the pantomime. At length the curtain drew up for the commencement of the new., Christmas entertainment, which bears the title of Harlequin Hot Codlins, or the Little Old Woman and the Demon of the Metal Mine. It is founded on the old nursery rhyme— " There was an old woman, ber living she got." Like the generality of pantomimes the plot is somewhat vague, therefore we shall not endeavour to explain it. The first scene introduces us to the pavilion of Po ' !Ilona in the province of Pippins, and the opening of the Pippin Parliament by the Queen of Apples (Miss Terry), and was much applauded. The next scene pre sents a rural village at sunrise. Here we find Tol de-rol, a miller (afterwards Harlequin), Mr. Chapino, in love with Fal-lal-la (afterwards Columbine), Mdlle. Levite; Rifum Tifum, a dusty miller, father of Tol-de-rol (afterwards Pantaloon), and Dame Tid dyiddy, the little old woman, mother of Fal-lal-la, are averse to the match, and at length a transforma tion of the characters ensues, and the fun and frolic commences. In the scene which follows there was an excellent hit at the wretched rate which semptresses are remunerated for their labour. One of those unfortunate females, who obtain a wretched subsistence by their needle, brings two shirts to her employer, over which is suspended a placard, bearing these words, " Two shirts for a half penny." He gives her an I. 0. U. for two farthings, and the Clown and Pantaloon immediately lay hold of him, and put him into a bag, which, on being re moved, presents a " man of marble." The audience caught up this allusion, and gave it one loud cheer— a cheer expressive of the hatred of the British public for a species of slavery which is inflicted on the young and weak by their employers, whilst they are amassing wealth by the wearying, wretchedly remunerated toil which they impose upon them. Amongst the political events of the passing year which were turned into ridicule were Lord Brougham's Bill for the Abolishment of Imprison ment for Debt; Prince Joinville and the bombard ment of Tangier ; and the espionage in the Post office. Several postmen were drawn up on the stage with letters in their hands, and were drilled in the opening of letters by the Clown (after Punch). This created a good deal of laughter at the expense of the Home Secretary. Prince Albert's hat and the present Lord Mayor came in for their share of notice. A box is brought on the stage, directed to the church warden of Walbrook, from which a placard is taken, expressive of his Lordship's unaccountable propensity. The baths for the million also were made subject of laughter, as also were Captain Warner's long-range and mesmerism, but, unfortunately, many things intended as witticisms fell still-born upon the audience. The scenery was very beautiful—many of the scenes exceedingly gorgeous, more particularly the " Kingdom of Knives," a " View of the Bay of Trafalgar and' the Victory," and the " Palace of Fol-de-rol in the world of Song." Maddle. Levite is a very charming Columbine, and danced with much grace. Mr. Chapino is an agile Harlequin, and Messrs. Cony and Blanchard (the latter of whom was vociferously called upon by the audience to sing " Hot Codlins" and " Tippitywitchit") sustained their respective parts with considerable credit. With a little judicious pruning the pantomime will no doubt have a long run. The house was crowded, and the audience, as is usually the case on boxing-day, was a good-natured one. There were about the average number of rows in the pit and gallery, both of which were so crowded, that it would have been a difficult matter to have obtained access for another individual. PRINCESS'S THEATRE. The twenty-fourth presentation of Balfe's Castle of Aymon was as well received at this favourite theatre last evening as if it were produced for the first time, and as the new piece after Christmas. But, however, the " immense attraction for the holidays" was de scribed in the bills as a " New Grand Romantic, and rather Operatic Burlesque Extravaganza, in two acts, taken from the old melodrama, and called Joe Miller and his Men." The piece is further said to be written in measure to fit the company, by Gilbert A. a'Beckett, Esq., and the scenery, which no poet could paint in words, has been done in colours by Messrs. Beverley, Nichols, Aglio, &c. When we add, that the artistes have tried to cut each other out in cutting out the dresses, and that the machinery has been cleverly contrived to raise expectation very high, we have given a pretty fair account of this commodity, which has been produced upon a scale that must have its due weight. The dances, which employed extra hands, and additional feet, exercised the former rather more than the latter, and created as much laughter as the burlesques on " Joe Miller" with which the dialogue abounded. The de sign of the extravaganza, as it is very aptly termed, is to hold up to ridicule and reproach the neglect of the modern English drama; and, whilst the witty author spares not the devotees of foreign art, he is even more severe upon those who have been making some wha questionable attempts to adapt, as it has been presumptuously pretended, the old English drama to modern times, by the destruction of its character. In the introductory scene, which represents the Celestial Court of Bankruptcy, at its evening sitting in the clouds, Mercury (Miss Somers), as messenger of the Court, announces to Apollo (Mr. A. Harris), the Chief Commissioner of the Court, that Thalia and Melpomene are bankrupt. The Commissioner ex presses his distress at the intelligence, and having learned from the messenger all the shifts to which the unlucky muses have been put of late to support their tottering credit, he suggests that as a last effort they should try what could be done by adopting to modern taste and manners "the ancient melodrama." The famous Miller and his Men is chosen for the first ex periment, and a merry and successful one it has proved. The audience was kept in a roar of laughter from the commencement, and much of the acting, burlesque though it was, merited and received very great applause. Oxberry, as a melo-dramatic hero, and Mr. Fitzjames as the "impersonation of Young Bohemia," were first-rate. LYCEUM THEATRE. Two new pieces were produced at this theatre last evening, the first a version of Charles Dickens's Chimes, the second an admirable burlesque on Valen tine and Orson. The Chimes is well dramatised, well acted, and admirably put upon the stage. Keeley was the Toby Veck, and did full justice to the bonhommie of the honest ticket-porter ; and Mrs. Keeley acted Meggy as she acts everything—admi rably. The great feature of the piece, however, was the Will Fern of Mr. Emery, which was a mag nificent piece of acting. Never has the impassioned countryman been more powerfully depicted. Mr. Emery, in this character, reminded us strongly of his father. It is seldom that talent, more particularly histrionic talent, is hereditary, but in this instance such is the case—the mantle of the father has fallen on the son. The Chimes was succeeded by Valentine and Orson, the best burlesque that has been produced for this many a long day. Equal in wit to the Forty Thieves, it surpasses even Aladdin in splendour, and will draw crowded houses until Easter. The play bill is itself a perfect galaxy of jokes—so excellent is it, that we were almost afraid the piece would turn uut to be " nothing but the bill." Such, however, was not the case. The bill is only a foretaste of the good things with which the piece is replete. Every couplet is a pun, a joke, or a piece of clever satire, and every hit tells, so that the concluding line, " In one blaze of triumph we will wind up," is no fiction. Mrs. Keeley and her husband were the Valentine and Orson. She the very beau ideal of a preux chevalier, glittering in splendid armour; he " unbeknown to himself," a public nuisance to the neighbourhood of Orleans. They are of course under the protection of the fairies, and in the opening scene we find Oberon holding an after-dinner council, which is interrupted by the arrival of Pacolet, who comes flying through the air on a locomotive—an im provement upon the atmospheric railway. Pacolet reports that Agramant, the evil genius, is still pur suing his machinations against the brothers ; and Oberon, appointing Pacolet his Secretary for Foreign Affairs, gives him orders to circumvent Agramant's designs. The day begins to break, and the fairies mysteriously disappear in a mist, to the tune of " We won't go home till morning." We are then intro duced t) Belisanta, the mother of the two lost children—Valentine and Orson—a decayed empress, and the mistress of an academy for young ladies in the neighbourhood of Orleans, who laments most pathetically the decay of her profession in consequence of the supply of cheap governesses, and of books for teaching all sorts of things without masters. Then comes the scene of scenes, the royal visit to Orleans to open the Exchange, with " a splendid procession by the method of double entry, on a scale of magni tude hitherto out of the power of any theatre to attain." The spectacle itself in this scene is gorgeous, and the costumes are magnificent, but the wit sparkles even more brilliantly than the gems with which the costumes are profusely adorned. Loud was the laughter which greeted the reading of the proclamation signed " Mereweather," ordering the streets to be kept clear; but the laughter and applause were redoubled when, on one of the, nobility angrily calling the authorities to account for shoving him to the wall, a policeman contemptuously replies— " The Lord Mayor never gives accounts at all." Then comes the triumphant entry of "Valentine's pikemen with the gates (turnpike-gates), avenging the insult of 800 years, for which he is rewarded with the order of Rebecca, and the promise of the hand of the Princess Eglantine (Miss Fairbrother), which latter promise raises the jealousy of Henry (Mr. A. Wigan), the King's nephew, who, from that moment, vows ven geance against Valentine. We are next introduced to Orson, and his bear mother in the forest. He enters bearing a leg of mutton on a pitchfork for the bear's dinner, and Orson and the bear dance[La Bruindaise (the original of the Truandaise) a la SADLER'S WELLS THEATRE. This establishment last night produced a new pan tomime, entitled Harlequin Robin Hood and Little John, or Merrie England in the Olden Time. The performances commenced with The Stranger, and, as far as we could form a judgment amid the impatient uproar which prevailed, the characters were extremely well?, supported, Mr. Phelps, Mrs. Warner, and Mr. H. Marston being the principal performers. But no performance, however able, could satisfy the impa tience of the auditors, who gave repeated and mani fest signs of dissatisfation, and the last act of this fine play was mere dumb show, the cries of " Pantomime" being so loud and incessant, that even those in the boxes next the stage could not catch a syllable. And after all, who could blame ? It is Christmas time, and they wished to be merry. No man could be grave at a Chrismas pantomime. Gravity is as much out of place on this occasion as a Merry Andrew at a funeral. " Dull Care" has no business there—no knitted brows or long faces—the Spirit of Christmas chases them all away. Sadler's Wells was so full last night, that we don't think it could have held a dozen more—in fact, many were, from want of room, obliged to go as they came. It would have been hard to see a careworn countenance ; and the hundreds of human faces, of every colour and complexion, from brick-dust to black-lead, that thronged every avail able corner, all was laughter and good-humour. The pantomime opens with Old England (Mr. Coreno), surrounded by his old English subjects, Old King Cole, Alfred, Tom Thumb, &c., carousing. In the second scene Young England (Master G. Newman) comes forward, and the following dialogue occurs : Old England—Peace ! Happiness! Content I a pretty joke, Ending, like other Theories in Smoke; And how accomplish this by one so knowing? Youug England—l'm small as yet, but still I'm daily growing. Old England—And,: puppy, may I ask, what you have done, To claim such notice? Young Englund—Lime just begun. Old England—Begun, to make (things worse, all trades are crying, Silence is sulky, and the Drama dying; Shakspere's turned out of doors by dancing belles, And finds a refuge at " Old Sadler's Wells." To aid his cause, a dish I now prepare, And though a trifle, still old English fare. The allusion to Sadlers's Wells was received with loud applause. The third scene is the exterior of Squire Gamewell's mansion, in which the old English sports and hospitality were pourtrayed. But we need not mention the history of the piece; it will be suffi cient to name its principal features. The bubbles of the day were all introduced, and with excellent effect. Captain Warner's long-range and the new baths and washhouses. Then there was the Cattle-show, and an exhibition of prize pigs and prize paupers. The latter, and many other excellent ideas, were borrowed from our friend Punch. There was a royal aviary and a union workhouse, and the stage paupers almost equalled the realities, which is saying a great deal. Harlequin (Mr. C. Fenton) did all a Harlequin could do, and Columbine (Miss Louisa Waite) danced to admiration. The Clown was well personated by Mr. C. Montgomery, who kept the audience in a continued roar. It will be sufficient to add, that the scenery was admirable, and the dresses appropriate—that all manner of gymnastic feats were performed—walking on two stilts and walking on one, and walking on one another. There was a full house, and the actors seemed to feel it, for they threw all the energy and humour they possessed into the performance. In the discharge of some stage fireworks, in the tenth scene, the head-dress of one of the female actors caught fire. It was, however, instantly extinguished, but the inci dent seemed to throw a momentary gloom on the audience, by reminding them of the late lamentable occurrence. But this was only momentary, and scarcely noticed. All was fun and merriment, which continued, unabated, till the curtain fell, amidst rounds of applause. STRAND THEATRE. Happy Christmas ! Well is it that one short week in the weary fifty-two is devoted to happiness, or the o'ertaslied workman's life would be indeed one con tinued misery. Ere these practical days had cast their shadow over our country, poets had feigned that years of love, hours of unvaried sunshine, brightened our horizon, and that all the multitudinous figures so copiously interspersed in the works of our own earlier writers, had " each a local habitation and a name ." Is it so now ? We fear not, excepting at Christmas time ! The above theatre has produced the Feast of Lanthorns, solely, we, suppose, for the pur pose of introducing the scenes by Philip s — scenes which at once evince living nature, the artist, and the scholar. We cannot too much praise them, for they are emphatically real, and an evening spent for the mere purpose of analysing them, %ould be wasted to no good purpose. The Knight and the Sprite furnished an interesting close, and, if we might judge from the self-satisfied cour'tenances of the audience, they highly approved of Mr. Roberts's catering for Christmas. ADELPHI THEATRE. The talented lessee of this favourite theatre has de termined to follow the taste of the public (instead of leading it), and, therefore, finding the Chimes the latest, though not the best, production of Charles Dickens (take the " taste" at the present hour), he, with a praiseworthy prudence, introduces it on the stage, certain that its intrinsic merits will insure it a triumphant reception, even if the stage's appreciation should fall short of the origi nal conception. The Fox and the Goose, a comic operatta, followed, and was most enthusiastically re ceived. The grand feature of the night—the panto mime itself—y'clept Cat's Castle, or Harleiptin and the King of the Rats, passed off, as all pantomimes do, with universal applause. The tricks—for, albeit they were far-fetched, certes, smart tricks they were intended to be, exhibited a thorough knowledge of state mechanism. The Clown (Mr. C. J. Smith), assisted by his brother OLYMPIC THEATRE. Yesterday evening the season again commenced at this theatre, by presenting to the holiday folks a revival of the old drama of George Barnwell, upon which it is needless to enter more into detail than to state our conviction—(as well as it could be formed from what we caught amidst the din and confusion incidental to "boxing night")—that the part of George Barnwell was admirably pourtrayed by Mr. Roxby, and that the merits of Mr. Waldron as Thoro good, was well appreciated. The character of Mill wood was supported by Mrs. W. West, with all that talent by which she gained her present high standing as an actress. The grand feature of the night, how ever, was the pantomime, which was styled Old Bogie, or Harlequin Lazy Dick of Leadenhall, and Mother Luddleham, the Witch of Epping. It was what might be termed a lively—perhaps, more truly, a volatile—production ; there was all the dancing, knockings-down, " prigging," incidental stuffing of pockets, and testing of the insentience of the nether end, which induces even in after and nearer years a schoolboy laugh. We were, however, sorry (for the sake of the management) to see, that so far as some of the mechanical arrange ments of some of the " tricks" were concerned, there 'was what might by an " old stager" be termed care lessness on the part of the subordinates. However, those who know the many contretemps which may occur behind the scenes on the first night of a new pantomime, can well pass over such mishaps. The point in the pantomime which seemed to tell most with the audience was a very happy hit at the ready-made clothes establishments, the effects of which were well shown by a harlequin transition from a crammed puffing shop to one full of " dummies," and eventually ending with closed shutters, the latter finale eliciting roars of laughter and loud cheers from the gods. We are glad to be able to say in favour of the manage ment of Miss Davenport, that her efforts to please the public have been, by that most eccentric monster, fully appreciated, as the house was crowded from the seat behind the orchestra to the hindermost benches of the gallery. ASTLEY'S THEATRE. The Royal Fox Hunt, or Life's Course of Man and Steed, which has been so successful at this popu lar house, opened the entertainment last evening, and went off with the utmost eclat, the real fox hunt, in particular, being loudly and deservedly applauded. On the conclusion of the first piece we had some very spirited scenes in the circle, supported by Maddle• Helene and Mr. Bridges. We were truly delighted with the performances of the horse " Beda," which were most astonishing. This beautiful horse is worth all the steeds in Arabia. Mr. Newsome and Miss Isabelle, " the sylph of the circle," were much ap plauded in the Polka dance, which they elegantly performed on horseback. After this came the great attraction of the night—the pantomime which was called Harlequin and Johnny Gilpin's Ride, or the Black Witch of Edmonton. This pantomime is one of the best we have ever seen ; indeed, no theatre has such resources for pantomimic representation as Astley's. The opening scenes of the panto mime last night were indeed splendid, and reflect the highest credit on all the per formers engaged in it. The ever-memorable ride of Johnny Gilpin to Edmonton is admirably repre sented, and drew down the most rapturous applause, while laughter shook the theatre. The represen tation was perfect, and it will easily be imagined upon what an extensive scale the piece has been got up, when it is considered that in the pursuit of Johnny Gilpin no less than a dozen horses are en gaged, all of which gallop at full speed along the se veral avenues on the stage. The pantomime com mences with the Witches' Dell, where is held the meeting of Mothers Shipton, Bunch, Red and Black Cap, Hubbard and Goose, who summon the Black Witch of Edmonton from the magic cauldron. Pre parations are then made to annoy Johnny Gilpin on his journey, and the spirits of horseflesh are called from " the vasty deep," and depart on their mission ; after which there is a beautiful change to the realms of Sunshine, in which appears Rose Court, who gladly promises to assist the Black Witch in preserving the lovers, Giles and Rose, from Gil pin's revenge. London in the Olden Times is then represented very excellently, with its shops and Gil pin's abode. We have then. the departure of Mrs. Gilpin and children in the chaise, and the realisation of Gilpin's famous ride followed, by the mischievous tricks of the sprites. The lovers escape, and are ordered to join in the pursuit. The renowned Bell at Edmonton is shown, with Mrs. Gilpin and her sisters in the balcony, who witness the flight of Gilpin. " The dinner waits, and so do I." A very good magical change takes place of a milestone into a fairy banquet. The sprites enjoy themselves, and the Rose Court enters with her fruit, chariot, and six fairy steeds—most beautiful creatures. Gilpin, unable to hold in his horse, loses his hat and wig, and at length is carried into the tailor's shop at Ware, where he is thrown to the ground. The pan tomimic transformations then take place, and the comic business begins. It will be seen, from this loose sketch, that this pantomime is a most effective one, and we are sure that it will prove highly attrac tive for some time to come. The house was thronged, as this theatre usually is, a reward which Mr. Batty, the indefatigable manager, has amply earned. SURREY THEATRE. On " boxing night" one usually visits the theatre for the purpose of witnessing the scenery, the gro tesque figures, the allusions to the events of the times, and the antics which have remained to us from a simple antiquity displays o f H a rl eq ui n an d Columbine Clow n --one usually expects to see such things on this long - looked for night—but at the Surrey, besides an excellent pantomime, which has been got up with great skill and effect, there was an and in the original performance, called The Seven Ages of Man, or the End of Crime. This piece has one con siderable merit, that it has a moral object, which, if the piece does not exhibit very well, it at least illustrates it very clearly. It shows how a person badly brought up becomes a prey to his own uncurbed passions, how he readily falls into the vices or crimes of society, till he at last terminates his career by the gallows, transpor tation, or his own hand. Such a character is John Heartless, who has been, successively, seducer, gambler, deserter from the army, and robber; he has, in fact, run round the whole circle of crimes, from youthfuldrunkenness to murder in old age, when the scene drops upon him, and we would hazard no dangerous conjecture in saying that an Old Bailey jury found him guilty, and that there was no chance for a reprieve. We have allowed this piece its best merit in saying it has the moral object of deterring people from the commission of crime. The drama is stated to be founded on Shakspere's Seven Ages. Poor Shakspere ! We can more readily ap plaud the comic pantomime called Pounds, Shillings, and Pence, or £. S. D. It has been got up and written by Mr. Nelson Lee, and the scenery and dresses were really very creditable. Like the first piece, the pantomime had the very good object of teaching the audience the value of pence, and the certainty of those who take care of them getting ,into the palace of sovereigns. The copper scenery was done by Mr. Brown, and was very well executed. Harlequin (Mr. W. H. Harvey), Clown (Mr. T. Ridgway), Columbine (Miss Slater), and Pantaloon (Mr. H. Corri), were acted in a manner reflecting great credit on the performers of those parts. Throughout the piece there were some very happy allusions, principally of a local character, which were duly appreciated by the audience, and caused great delight. In a scene repre senting the Surrey Zoological Gardens, Herr Von Joel appeared, and gave some of his sur prising imitations of birds and beasts, which were received with great gusto and applause. On the whole, the pantomime was very good 'and successful, ' and we shall be surprised if S. D. does not turn out very prolific, and reproduce its own name abun dantly. The house, on the present occasion, was crowded to overflowing. VICTOPIA THEATRE. The performances commenced at this theatre last night with A domestio drama, entitled, Poverty, or a THE ADELAIDE GALLERY. The curriculum of amusement and instruction at this institution has also been specially arranged for Christmas, and with even greater regard to the enter tainment of the year than the Polytechnic. Science for the time holds company with magic and music. A conjuror diversifies the lectures on chemistry and astronomy by showing the deceptions of art, and the properties of different bodies in colouring flame are exhibited in brilliant fireworks. There are also dis solving views, the microscope, and some mechanical wonders to amuse, whilst the electrical eels continue to shock with their usual force. At night the en tertainments consist of "Concerts a la Jullien," in which forty performers are engaged. BRITISH MUSEUM. This national repository of curiosities, and of re mains of the works of nature and art, comprising the productions of the present time and those of ages long past, even beyond the creation of man, will not fail to have its crowd of visitors at this season. The collections of specimens of natural history, and the gallery of antiquities, are the parts of the Museum now in the most perfect order—and, compared with former years, the Museum is, in these departments, far better than it was ; nevertheless, the confusion produced by the new buildings, and the never-ending arrangements, give the stranger an unfavourable idea of this great national establishment. A short winter's day is over before one half the objects worthy of notice can be examined. For those, therefore, whose time is limited, it will be better to walk first through all the rooms and return to those that most interest them, for to see all in one day is impossible. NATIONAL GALLERY. The charm of " nothing to pay" operates wonder fully, perhaps as much from its novelty as from the parsimony of the public at holiday times, consequently the National Gallery is always crowded at these seasons. There have been no important additions of late ; but the many productions of the best ancient masters in the collection may be admired again and again, whenever opportunity occurs, as at this time of general holiday. FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE. DEPARTURES. The Hon. Sydney Herbert, M.P., from the Admiralty, on a visit to the Dowager Countess of Pembroke, at Wilton House ; Colonel and Miss Colvile, for Windsor ; Mr. and Mrs. D. Heming, from Fenton's Hotel, St. James's-street ; Colonel French, for Brighton ; the Rev. E. R. Eardley Wilmot, for ditto ; Lord Thurlow and the Hon. Captain Thurlow, from the Burlington Hotel, Cork-street, for Ashfield Lodge, Suffolk ; Lieutenant- Colonel Clitherow (Coldstream Guards), on a visiting tour in Norfolk. _ _ CHANGES. Sir Watkin Williams Wynn, Bart., M.P., from Wynn stay, Denbighshire, on a visiting tour ; Sir Henry and Lady Webster and family, at Westfield Lodge, from Brunswick-terrace, Brighton ; Lord and Lady Delamere and the Hon. Miss Cbolmondeley, at the Vale Royal, Cheshire, from Denbighshire ; Sir J. Cunningham Fairlie, Bart., at his seat, in Ayrshire, from a visit to Mr. Wallace, M.P., at Kelly, Renfrewshire ; the Hon. J. N. Delaval Ashley (2d Life Guards), at Lord Hast ings' seat, Melton Constable, Norfolk, from a tour ; Capt., Pechell, M.P., at Castle Goring, Sussex, from Brighton ; Lord and Lady Abinger and the Hon. Miss Scarlett, from a visiting tour in Norfolk, for their seat in Sussex ; the Bishop of Oxford and Lady Harriet Bagot, at Blithfield, Staffordshire, from the Deanery, Canter bury. PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOR 1845. We subjoin the following extracts : " SOLILOQUY OF A SHERIFFS OFFICER. " Hilary Term ! Pshaw ! There's nothing hila rious about our terms now. This is a precious land of liberty, this is! ven a sheriff's officer can't find a shoulder to turn his hand to. Time vas, ven I took my two bottles and my six bodies a-day. But nuw I thinks brandy-and-eater a luxury, and hasn't as much as a diaman' ring to my finger ; I yonder ven they'll gladden'my heart vith a execution ?' for the sheriff's officer who wouldn't serve a fellow-cretur in a distress isn't vorthy of the name of Levy ! So I may as yell sell ➢Sadanie Tassaud my top-boots to stand by them figures of Vellington's and Blucher's. CLIWATE OF LONDON. " Professor Howard, in analysing the climate of London, took some fog home in a basin, and found it to contain nine parts smoke to one part porter. He undertook to extract a pint of stout from the atmos phere of Oxford-street on a very foggy day, if the fog only lasted till he had completed the operation. " EXTRAORDINARY STATISTICAL TACT. " A lady in Fitzroy-square has a cat which in the course of last year broke fifty plates, six cream -jugs, two brass candlesticks, three soup tureens, fifteen tea cups, and one poker and has eaten no less than thirty chickens, two sweetbreads, seven turkeys, three legs of lamb, ten gooseberry pies, and three pots of pre served apricots. Nevertheless, this extraordinary cat is the greatest favourite with the cook and all the ser vants. " WORTHY OF ATTENTION. "Advice to persons about to marry—Don't. " THE ART OF PACKING. " A carpet bag should be packel by placing the clean linen in first, including the frilled shirts. After which stuff in the colts and bouts, garnish with shaving tackle, and ram down with hair brush. It the pack ing is not then successful, insert your foot into the bag, and pull fiercely at the handles. It does not matter about the carpet bag being wide open at both sides, so as it is closed with a padlock in the middle. " MUSTARD. " The lodging-house variety is very scarce. It may sometimes, however, be raised in about a week from the kitchen, by ringing for it regularly every morning. " THE LANGUAGE OF DOOR-KNOCKERS. " Bar signifies—Pots, taxes, pa-per, duns, D'ya want any apples ?' physic, the dustman on boxing day, and servants' followers. " RAT-TAT announces—the postman, the comical cousin, and the downy' dun. RAT-TAT-TAT — is the signal of a poor relation, a charity-touter, or a bill of exchange. " RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT•TAT—RAT•TATETT - in dicates a footman in full powder, the polka-professor, the pet-parson, or the chimney on fire. " RATTA•RA-TATI-but no, a gentleman's knock cannot be described by the most ingenious phono graphy. " APPROPRIATE BIRTHDAY GIFTS. " The most appropriate birthday gifts are such things as nobody wants, or nobody would use. Velvet braces lined with satin, and embroidered with but terflies, are the best adapted for any relative engaged in a light fancy business, as a South Sea whaler, Stc. Painted French garters will do well for a grand father with one leg in the grave ; a silver-mounted riding whip is likely to suit an uncle in the navy ; and a cocked hat is just the thing for a friend who is a Quaker. " TO EPICURES. 46 4 WHAT TO EAT--WHAT TO DRINK—WHAT TO AVOlD:—Turtle, Champagne, and ' Ham sandwiches a penny.' " AMUSEMENTS FOR THE YOUNG. " A kitten should always be kept where there are children ; when they are tired of pulling its tail, they can put it into their father's boots. A box of colours is also a source of great amusement, affording them an opportunity of daubing their faces, and of appearing in illuminated pinafores. It is well to let them know where the preserves and pickles are kept, so that going after the jam they may get a bite at a capsicum. On wet days they should be allowed to put peas into the piano, and thump the keys with their drumsticks. Train them to pull gentlemen's whis kers, and wipe their lollipopped hands on ladies' dresses. " ORNITHOLOGICAL DEBUT. " The cuckoo makes its first appearance before a British public early in spring, and trusts to that in dulgence which an English audience is never known to withhold from strange birds, who come in the cha racter of foreign vocalists. " DIRECTIONS FOR FINDING A POLICEMAN. " Look down every area in the street; if you do not by accident see one, ring the bell and inquire if the policeman is in the kitchen. Repeat this at every door, and you cannot fail eventually to find one. "BOILING. " The boiling point varies in different localities. In Bel grave and Grosvenor-squares, Mayfair, and S pring gardens, the pot can hardly be boiled under 3,0001. a year ; whereas up at Camden-town the pot will boil at 1501. or 200 l.; and about St. Giles's or Spital fields, at 7s. or Bs. per week. " LITERARY. " June is Nature's publishing season, when she sends forth several of her periodicals. That splendid annual the strawberry begins to appear in parts, and the gooseberry comes forth in numbers. Some apples and pears may also be expected, as specimens of some early editions of those beautiful standard works in Nature's library. CHRISTMAS AMUSEMENTS. " Christmas comes but once a year !" This is one of those satisfactory apothegms which there is no gainsaying, and though it might, perhaps, be as truly applied to other seasons, yet Christmas has appro priated it exclusively ; therefore, this undeniable fact is made an especial season why, for this once, every one should indulge in the festivities within his reach. There are few modes more agreeable of spending a " merry Christmas," and none more harmless, than in visiting the exhibitions, of which so many open their portals in the metropolis ; and at this season, also, there is generally some extra attractions to make them the better worth seeing. We shall, therefore, as it is our wont to do, present a catalogue raisonnee of the whole. THE PANORAMAS. Though science has yet failed to construct Forta natus's telescope through which may be seen any spot that the spectator desires to behold, we are at least, able to view, by walking to Leicester-square, many of the scenes on the face of the globe that are generally interesting. To the admirable panorama of fiong-Kong and Baden Baden, Mr. Burford has this week added a view of Naples, from the bay, by moon light, during an eruption of Mount Vesuvius. This is, we believe, the first time that the effect of moon light has been attempted to be represented in a pano rama. As the painting is entirely on the surface presented to the spectator, and is seen altogether by reflected light instead of the light being partly trans mitted through the material as in a diorama, it is much more difficult to render the effect of moonlight and of self-luminous bodies than when the artist has the power of concentrating lights on particular objects behind. Mr. Burford has, however, overcome the difficulty successfully in' the greater portion of his design, and he has very artistically contrived to avail himself of the glare of the volcanic flames for the pur- . pose of giving the effect which the light of the moon alone might have THE DIO R been inadequa teAMA. to prOduce. The beautiful paintings of the church of Notre Dame and the Abbey of St. Ouen, with the extra ordinary and almost miraculous effects of varying light and shade, have on more than one occasion been noticed in this journal ; it is, therefore, only neces sary now to remind all sight-seers that these paintings remain open for only a short time longer, and that if they fail to take advantage of the present opportu nity they will have to regret not having witnessed two of the most attractive and extraordinary views that even this exhibition has ever presented. THE COSMORAMA. This long-established favourite exhibition continues to maintain its ground amidst numerous competitors, and the proprietors endeavour to make improvements suitable to the advancement and acquirements of public taste. There are eight views, which, being seen through large and powerful lenses, appear to be of the natural size, and present may objects of in terest with great fidelity. The present subjects are the colossal statues of Memnon on the plain of Thebes, the exterior of the Pantheon at Rome by moonlight, Le Mar de Glace, in Savoy, the exterior and the in terior of St. Peter's at Rome, and Eruption of Mount Vesuvius, the Lake of Thun, in Switzerland, and the Hippodrome at Constantinople. In some of these the effects of varying lights and shadows are represented in imitation of the diorama. CHINESE COLLECTION. A visit to the Chinese Museum at Hyde Park corner will convey a better idea of the people, their habits, and customs, and the manufactures of China than some years since could have been obtained by such a peep into the celestial empire as was then allowed to those who actually took a six months' voyage to that mysterious land. Be it by day or by night, the visitor will be amply gratified and in structed ; but if the keen and frosty air of a winter's night be not an obstacle, we recommend seeing the emporium of most that is curious and beautiful and strange in China by the artificial light of hundreds of Chinese lanterns, with the additional attraction of a good musical band, and the illuminated monster dragon that presides every evening during Christmas over the imperial dragon fete. MADAME TUSSAUD'S EXHIBITION. Sterling, indeed must be the merit of an exhibition in London which maintains its popularity season after season—that remains till fresh generations rise up to go and see, for the first time, the most perfect exhibition of waxwork that was ever presented, and till those who are growing old repair there to recal past delightful recollections, and to be placed au courant, with the present improvements and additions. Very . recently two important accessions have been made in the figures of George I. and George 11., in their coronation robes. They are placed within the reception-room at the end of the large saloon, which George IV. and his coronation robes formerly occu pied alone. His ancestors now share with him this peculiar room of state, and add much to its brilliant effect. We so recently noticed the late addition of Napoleon's carriage and the other mementos of the former Emperor of France, that is is unnecessary now to do mere than remind those who hive not yet seen these interesting and beautiful relics of departed greatness that they now form a part of Madame Tussaud's unequalled exhibition. POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTION. This excellent institution has made some alteration in its programme to suit the Christmas visitors. A new collection of dissolving views is exhibited, and the proteoscepe, or mode of showing opaque objects with the hydro-oxygen microscope, has been improved, AI that now one image dissolves into another with most curious effect. A new application of the micro scope has been introduced, called the cromatrope, wherein a variety of' brilliantly coloured figures are seen revolving and constantly varying their forms in most beautiful patterns. The whole models in the institution have been recently re-arranged, and nume rous new ones have be Ai added, whilst the old favourites remain. On two evenings of the week, during the holiday season, Mr. Horn delivers lectures on music ; and every day lectures on attractive subjects, and illustrated by brilliant experiments, are delivered. $. l ' " CONFESSIONS OF A CONDUCTOR. "'Buses ie erroneously said to hold only 13 insides if they like they can hold a great many more, besider , bundles and wet umbrellas. Man is a squeezableL animal, and 'buses is like carpet bags, there's .no knowing what they will hold till you tiles 'ern. Cow sequently, though your 'buss seems full, shove 'em and drive on, and they are sure to shake down and fit in as close as wood-pavement. Bad sixpences is useful on rainy nights, fur stingy women as won't pay more than the fare for them , t.lves and a carawan full of parcels. When short of pas , engers, stop at the corner of every street to make obserwations and dance ihe Polka on the foot-board. " EXPERIMENTS IN CHEMISTRY. " Potato is nothing but starch; but a piece of potato dropped into a glass of grog would not have the effect of stiffening it. " CHEAP FURNITURE. " You must not give a house-warming if you have bought cheap furniture, for the warming of the house will melt the glue, and the furniture will fall to pieces. A house may be furnished for 401., if your necessities are confined to a deal table and a knife box, a couple of japan chairs, and a Pembroke two-flap. It has been said that the cheap furniture is made of green stuff, but the stuff is not half so green as those who buy it. " HINTS FOR SHOPPING. " If you want to purchase a piece of tape, go to Waterloo House, and ask to look at everything new , in dresses, cardinals, cloaks, muffs, carpets, and fea thers. Having fixed:upon what you would purchase if you had the money, say, you see nothing to suit you,' buy your tape, and resolve, by future rigid economy in the house-keeping, to squeeze that duck of a polka jacket' out of the pies and puddings. " A FEW WORDS TO 'I HE LAUNDRESS BY ONE OF THE TRIBE. " Don't never wash for a two-pair back, if so be you can help it. He's sure to miss one of his two shirts when you takes home the basket. Squares is good, and so is terraces if they're opulent, as they don't go to tea-gardens on Sundays, and so can't have their feelings hurt by seeing you in their silks and muslins (which, in course, you've sent to a wrong party) at the Condick, or Copinghagen, where you may take 'em to air 'em. " EXPORTATION OF BRIDES. " Mothers with a multitude of daughters should divide the favours of their family fairly between their native country and the colonies. Thus those daughters who are blessed with aquilines and raven tresses will be found admirably adapted for home consumption, whilst snubs and doubtful auburns should be de voted to the Indian market. N.B.—Squints will do for Canada. " HOUSEHOLD ECONOMY. " The cheapest way to furnish a room is to paper it with postage stamps. For this purpose put all your friends under contribution. You will only re quire 33,542 to paper a small room. The most expe- ditious method is to advertise for a ladies' horse, a Natif de Paris, or a grand piano ( letters p ost P aid), and with the answer.. ru will receive you will have sufficient to paper your largest ro'cnn ; and a cupboard • to spare. " POPULAR DELUSION. " It is the greatest fallacy to suppose the'post was invented merely to carry letters. The postage was reduced to enable tradesmen to send their goods at a cheaper rate. The central depot of this new Parcels' . Delivery Company is at St. Martin's-le-Grand, where cats, turbots, trunks, eggs, dogs, coal-scuttleN lobsters, - chairs, butter, and every article of food and furni ture, from an oyster to a four-poster, are received up to seven P.m. N.B.—Cats, turbots, coal-scuttles, and four-posters are not admissible through the, opening in the letter-box, but must be delivered in at the window. " HOW TO MAKE A GUY. " Get a head of long hair turned up at the ends, and put it on a chapeau Francais, take a pair of mustachios, an imperial, and eye glass ; add to these a blue satin scarf, with a gold pin like a beadle's staff, braided coat, crimson waistcoat, ladies' boots; canary kids, a tremendous swagger, and a very small riding whip.. Put these together on a block, turn it into Regent-street about three o'clock, and you will have succeeded in making a perfect guy. " IMPORTANT TO lIORROWERi. " The present quotations in the money market for .50/. bill are 101. in money, and the rest in good • cholera Cape. The advantages of this system are— you can have your bill discounted by the father, be sued by the son, arrested by the uncle, sold up by the nephew, and locked up in the sponging-house by the first cousin. " MEDICAL. N " Certain cure of a cold in a prima donna. Stop her salary, or put a rising vocalist in her part." Tim IRISH LINEN TRADE.—The following is the latest report from Belfast:—The weavers being now at full work, the demand for yarns has been very steady. Prices have a downward tendency, as several spinners, finding they could not realise the late advance, have sub mitted to a reduction of lid. per bundle, and a further reduction is generally anticipated by the manufacturers. ; Heavy linens for the home trade are easy of sale, but export goods do not realise first cost to the manufacturer and have never been at a lower point, as regards prices, • than at the present moment. RAISING THE WlND.—During the bustle which prevailed at Alnwick fair, Northumberland, lately, a. fellow had the courage to try the temper of the multi tude by a new stratagem for raising the wind. His show board was inscribed with the following intimation: —" Wonderfully curiosities of neature ; you may see alive heer, the most wonderfullest cheiree-coloured cat, from Shropshire, and the stipenduous rose-coloured pigeon, from the 'West of England. Also secrets worth noing, by the proprietor. All for twopence." Such prodigies, and at such a price, could not fail of attract ing a crowd of spectators, who, on their admittance, were gravely shown a black cat and a gehite pigeon; they then very naturally stared at each other, when the ex hibitor, trusting to their good-humour, very confidently addreNed them—" Naow, ladies and gemmen, I have perform's - I my promise we' oe—for you must ne as haow, there be bias& cherries and white rooases, and such be the colours my cat and my pigen. I have shown you, moreover, a whale tent full o' people not half so wise as they think for, buf wiser naow than when they came in; and naow (pulling olF.his hat) I hopes you will keep my secret, and not male oO•cr folks outside as win as your sel, until they ha' paid fiee i t, as you. Now, my secret • is, that you have relies ed a por fellow at a trifling cost, that must ha' gone to bed supp&less, with his woife and children, if you had not ; and I'm ;sire you are too good natured to be angry wi' me fur det." Honest John Bull and his family did not disappoint la4n, for each suc cessive company went away in good-hunNur, leaving • others to enjoy . the wonder at the same expense, and keep the secret in turn for their own sakes. SEASONABLE BENEVOLENCE.—On Monday morn ing the sum of 251., bequeathed by the late Earl of Liver pool, to be given annually to five poor deserving families of the town of Kingston-on-Thames, was distributed to persons who were considered by the committee to be entitled to it, by Mr. How, the Mayor of Kingston. The names of the parties were—Francis Howell, Matthew Waters, Mary Wellbeloved, Thomas Haines, and William Millis ; and the Mayor, after making some appropriate remarks, handed to each the sum of 5/, at the same time expressing a hope that it would be the means of making them and their families happy at this festive season. On the same day the sum of 221., the result of a subscription among the tradesmen of Kingston, was distributed to fourteen poor deserving persons belonging to the town. The first mentioned gift of 251., in accordance with the . will of the late Noble Earl, has now been given for up wards of twenty years. FACTS RESPECTING MR. POLK.—During a journey in the Western and Southern States, last summer, we tra velled several days with a very candid and intelligent gentleman from Columbia, Tennessee, the residence of the Hon. J. K. Polk, President elect of the United States. He informed us, that in the walks of private life Mr. Polk is highly respected ; that he is a slave holder indeed, but not, as has been often stated in the papers, one of the richest and most extensive slave owners in the State ; that he may be worth 25,000 cents, a part only of which property is invested in slaves. Mr. Polk has no children. His accomplished lady is a consistent member of the Presbyterian Church. The , gentleman also stated, that though different opinions are honestly entertained as to his fitness for the Presidency on account of his political creed, yet so far as his piivate life is concerned, he will do honoar to the exalted sta tion to which he has since been called.—Nee England Puritan. VANGUARD STEAMER.—We are happy to be able to announce that there is a fair prospect of getting the above steamer out of her perilous situation. 'Through the skilful and persevering exertions of Captain White, a ; agents, steam was got up on J.P., and of the Company yesterday to aid in having the water pumped out of her hold. These efforts succeeded to a certain extent in removing a quantity of water that had accumulated pre vious to the getting one of the leaks permanently stop ped, and it is now confidently anticipated that the other means about to he resorted to will have the effect of to tally removing this beautiful vessel from where she is now embedded. Mr. Asle (Secretary to the Dublin Un derwriting Club) is at present in Cork. He has applied to Mr. Pike for the use of the Victory steamer to assist in floating the Vanguard ; Mr. Pike, with his usual courtesy, at once granted his steamer, and offered any other assistance in his power that might be required- The Victory is provided with wedges, blocks, pullies, and beams, and we hope that our next announcement will he that the Vanguard steamer is herself again. A Goon HINT.—At the South Lancashire Winter Assizes on the 17th inst., before Mr. Baron Gurney, three• rape cases were tried. In two the, offenders were con victed and sentenced to transportation for life. In the third his Lordship .:stopped the case, as there was not sufficient evidence of resistance. His Lordihip observed that, with respect to the resistance in such cases, he wished it, could be made more generally known, that in, all cases of that nature the parties attacked were justified in adopting every means at their disposal ; they might employ the weapons which nature had given them, and claw, bite, or even put the man's eyes out, for the pur pose of protecting themselves from his violence. The great difficulty was, owing to the nature of such in*. rics, in making such a matter public. But the elder women might teach the younger, that in case of such attacks the best course to adopt was to fly at the face of the party, and use their nails with the utmost degree of violence. If such a course were adopted, he felt assured that cues such as they had been inquiring into would lecoiro leis frecotnt, • !t i $ , 7- 410, 7 f -- _. - , j~l ~;: o ;..:., '~~::~~. rince ntle at• irate finis• ensif :CUs' It and .0;11 ince &see inss; sna lett [0 o • er Ws, ipet on'. he a her a 0 nd 5 01. Of fic on' aer• lef ooa St• )(1 6 1 1 1 P 9r. or on .00 ina , 01