The Press. — London, England, 1855-07-14 00:00:00

THE PRESS. JULY 14, 1855. electors of Bath know about Mr. TITO How do they feel iu hearing of his conduct in Parliament ? After the steed is stolen it is no use to lock the stable-door; and after the wrong man has been elected, electors have only to blame themselves in listening to the organised puffing from mere agitation societies. Whatever becomes of Administrative Reform, it is certain that no more " Titus " are wanted. The new member's name will, however, last in Parliament. The convenient bridge which his professional ingenuity erected for running away from his principles has already been called " The Arch of Titus." As was to be expected at a crisis, the Irish members have parti cularly distinguished themselves in the current week. Who ever heard of a Cabinet in difficulties, without a simultaneous deputation from the Irish members? Lord PALMERSTON has received significant hints from eighteen of these gentlemen, who called upon him, in the name of "tenant right," to reconsider certain clauses in the Landlord and Tenant Bill. Like the clauses in question, these Milesian senators wish to be " considered." Twenty-one years since, thirty•six Irish M.P.'s voted for " Repeal of the Union," and after the " Lichfield house compact," with two exceptions, every one of the repealers got " something nice " from Ministers. They jumped into place and pay to the tune of " Justice to Ireland." They are at their burlesque again, but the dog days are unseasonable for pantomimes ; and Mr. Km= ought to be more active in icing the Irish " patriots " to a more temperate heat. An Irish row in July ! The thought of it is enough, without the reality. THE PLENIPO'S PLEA. 065 It has been inferred and supposed, because I said that at the end of April and in the first days of May I thought those propositions might hale been assented to, that 1 think that at the present moment they might form a foundation for peace. Such a supposition would be totally erroneous. There have been change. since.—Lon! Jobs Russet!, Thursday, July 12. Suspend execution, for here's the solution Of what you dislike in this conduct of mine. You'll find that I'm true to my pet Constitution, Whose limits so often you've heard me define. Lord Somers would smile on the course that I've taken, Lord Grenville look down with applause in his eye, For my apothegm's worthy of Burke or of Bacon, " What s proper in April is wrong in July." To men of the world—not to blockheads in cloisters— The fact is as clear as the largest round text. For instance, in Apia we all swallow oysters, But who'd eat an oyster in this month or next? In April you walk in a paletot or Talma, Or pocket siphonia, the cold to defy. But 'twere far hotter work than they found at the Alma To walk in great-coats in the month of July. If you don't regard dates you'll be sure to make blunders, The time between mine is forgotten, I fear. The proverb informs you that Time Worketh Wonders, And here he's been working the fourth of a year. Why, just look at Molesworth, who'R sitting beside me, Got up in nankeen (you may call him a Guy, That's matter of taste), he'd be first to deride me For wearing in April his dress of July. No, " there have been changes," a thought that should soften My bitterest foe as he looks in my face There's a thing which some people call " changing too often," Which ends in excluding a man from his place. We'll have no more changes, except of opinion, Of bolting in future I mean to be shy; My " Handbook of Statesmanship" (printed in minion) Records loss of place in the mouth of July. So, why should you drive me to bay in a corner, And what's your display of hostility for? You see I've not sat in the seat of the scorner, But, truly converted, I clamour for war. I swear I'm in earnest—l'll vote for more taxes, More soldiers, more ships—not a thing I'll deny. And this is my answer to each man who axes Why, peaceful in April, I'm fierce in July. THE IRISH SCREW. Enter to Lord PALmsarrox, a Deputation of Irish .Afealbers. - DaPErrATios : The top of the , morning to your Lordship. Lord P.: Thank you, gentlemen. What procures me the distin guished honour and pleasure of seeing you to-day ? FlasT MIMBER : This Tenant Compensation Bill, me Lord-- Lord P.: Confound the Tenant Ccirnpensation Bill! SECOND MIMBER: Just so, me Lord, and so say all of us. But there's wheels within wheels, and needs must when your Lordship knows who drives. Lord P.: Well, admitting that proposition, what's yours? FIRST MIMBER : The bill has been cut into bits, me Lord. Lord P.: The bill has been purged of its mischief and quackery, and made as harmless as most bills. SECOND MIMBER: We won't quarrel about terms. THIRD MIMBER : At lasts not the terms which mane epitaphs. Lord P.: Epithets, perhaps ? But you have other terms to,pro• pose. Eh ? FIRST MIMBER : We'll come to that presently. But suppose your Lordship is so good as to let some of the mischief, as you think it, be put back into the bill. Lord P.: Certainly not. It would be against my conscience. SECONDMIMBER: Is nobody to haves conscience except your,Lordship ? Lord P.: Well, I don't know. If everybody kept his conscience In order and let it give as little trouble as mine—but that's -neither hero nor there. What is the reason for this change ? THREE OR FOUR MIMBER 8 : Justice to the humble cultivator of the soil; to the industrious pisant, who, by the sweat of his brow— Lord P.: Bosh !—bosh !—this is not the House of Commons. FIRST MIMBER (in a whisper) : Well, my Lord, it won't do. The priests— Lord P. (whistles): Eh? Ah ! Fact? ALL : Fact, me Lord. Lord P.: And you are under orders ? ALL: No choice. The hustings, you know! Lord P. (restynedly): True. And I suppose I need not ask how, if I don't see my way to what you desire, and if Bulwer Lytton goes to a division, Ireland will go ? FOURTH MIMBER: It's our• sacred duty to be dangerous to you, me Lord, all for your good. Lord P.: Just so. Well, gentlemen, ALL (ironically): Of course not. Lord P.: But if on reconsidering the measure before to-morrow's debate it should appear to me that the interests of the people of Ire land—God bless them!—demand a restoration of certain matters, be assured that it o dogged obstinacy or prejudices about consistency will prevent my doing my duty. DEPUTATION : We expected such a declaration, and wish your Lordship a very good morning. Lord P. Good meriting, my dear friends. • (Exeunt Deputation ) Beasts I " there is no compact," of eourse ? IN ffteflae Et I %111. Ah ! not because our soldier died before his field was won, Ah ! not because life would not last till life's long work were done, Wreathe one less leaf, grieve with less g►ief! Of all our hosts that led, Not last in work and worth approved, Lord Raglan lieth dead ! His nobleness he had of none. War's master taught him war; And prouder praise that master paid than meaner lips can mar. Gone to his grave, his duty done; if further any seek, He left his life to answer them—a soldier's—let it speak. 'Twas his to sway a blunted sword—to fight a fated field, Where idle tongues talked victory—to struggle not to yield. Light thing for placeman's ready pen to mark a day for fight, Hard thing and hot, with steel and shot, to win that day aright. Tears have been shed for the brave dead ; mourn him who wept for all. Praise hath teen given for strife well striven ; praise him who strove for all. Nor count that conquest little, though no banner flaunt it far, That under him our English hearts braved storm, and plague, and war. And, if he held those English hearts too good to pave the path To useless victories, shall we grudge what noble palm he hath ? Like chiefs of old, he fought a•front., and 'mid his soldiers seen. His task was aye as stern as theirs—oh ! make his grave as green. They welcome him—his dead who died that savage wars might cease, Where fortune cloth not measure men their souls and his have peace. Ay ! as well spent in sad sick tent as they in bloody strife. For English homes our English chief gave what he had—his life. E. A. " PR AY, J 0 HNN Y." As sung by Lord P—ms—n at the Reunion Politique in Downing-street, on Wednesday, July 12th, 18/55. Pray, Johnny I please to moderate the freedom of your tongue, Why will you in your statements take us ever by surprise? Remember, we are very weak, the Opposition strong, And Dizzy ever ready out of us to " get a rise." Leave us (grievously did you deceive us When you rose and on your toes came out so precious high). Pray, Johnny ! leave the Ministry—or ever hold your tongue— Or, on my life, you'll find that we will know the reason why. Pray, Johnny! please to moderate the freedom of your tongue, Why will you talk of what we never meant the House to know? You may be right; but then you see you put us iu the wrong, And all through you, I fear, there 'll be a very pretty go." Up if you will show us, do not overthrow us, Lot us sit (despite my wit) upon the Speaker's right. Pray, Johnny! please in public life to moderate your tongue, prithee, into private life ream out of sivht. IMlDO'dg'lv.4 ,,, • . ' • . 1