The Press. — London, England, 1855-05-05 00:00:00

THE P THIRTY-TWO OF THEM! The number of individuals attending upon the Noble Lord (Lord John Russell) upon his mission amounted to thirtptwo--male and female.—Times, May :ind, MS. " Che Sara, Sara!" Of hope bereft We're rapidly going to Gehenna, Now that our thirty-two envoys have left Their Hotel Munsch at Vienna. Thirty-two trunks having pass'd its gate, Marked " Johann Russell, passenger," The Conference farce is as out of date As a tragedy of Massinger. Thirty-two pilgrims of peace, employed To stop this war of nations, Have left their thirty-two chambers void And their run of public rations. Who would complain if they ate their fill, Or suffered a free digestion, If they'd settled either their tavern bill Or the Oriental Question? Sum up the cost of the burnt bougies In thirty-two pair of sockets, Without any saving of French fusses Or of English congreve-rockets— Compute the outlay morning and night To limit the Russian launches, While " thirty-two-pounders"' thunder in spite Of thirty-two olive branches— And a double tax we pay with grace— A tax perhaps as essential As the everlasting tenure of place By kinsmen plenipotential. The famille Russell, come war or peace, Relies on our recognition That England at large is a " Golden Fleece" To grace its perpetual mission. CABINET PICTURES AT THE ACADEMY. THE Exhibition of the Royal Academy opens on Monday. We were duly honoured with cards for the private view, but shall postpone general criticism until another occasion. A few exceptions, in the cases gof some paintings which first strike the eye, may not be unac ceptible. In the East Room the most prominent picture is, No. 29, Jauntiness." It represents the Premier of England, at the table of the House of Commons, joking gaily over the Crimean war. The likeness is good, and the artist, by a happy thought, has thrown on the table a report of the Sebastopol Committee, to which the Noble Viscount points with careless contempt, his expression of " perfect indifference" upon the subject being well rendered. No. 33, " The Ambassador in Trouble." A painting of much comic merit. It represents a council, or divan, composed of the re presentatives of various nations, and in the midst of the party a small, elderly, vivacious gentleman, evidently English, who is burning with inspiration but halting for language. He holds a little book, in scribed " French Without a Master," and the attitude with which one hand bespeaks the attention and patience of his hearers, while the orator is finding the word he wants, is very expressive. A Catholic cross peeping from his pocket is not very intelligible. No. 40, " The Pipe of Peace." The name of this painting is an absurd one, but the work itself is meritorious. It simply represents the Foreign Secretary, in a smoking-cap, lighting a cigar, with a des patch from Vienna. Some volumes of the World newspaper, lettered " Clarendon Press," are in the corner; but these allusions are scarcely within the mission of high art. No. 45, " Mouse and Cranny." No one would suppose from the title that this represented the Lord High Chancellor of England. If the " mouse" allusion refer to any nickname the levity of the Chan cery bar may ever have conferred, surely an artist has no business to perpetuate such things. The likeness itself is good, the harmless ex pression is very well rendered, and the hand reluctantly extended to take up some work is an artistic touch. No 50, " Caught by the Leg." A good-natured Scotchman, with the gout. The subject has been treated over and over again, and the only novelty is also an absurdity, the introduction of a soldier waiting for orders. It is ridiculous to conceive that an individual like that in the easy-chair can ever have been intrusted with grave duties. The bundle of religious tracts near the chair is a better notion ; but the artist had better go back to his maul stick. No. 61, " Ver non semper viret." (Vernon was always green.) A gentlemanly man, evidently intended by nature for an amiable lounger, has, for some reason, been invested with a grand Oriental robe and turban, and is receiving a paper, marked " Petition of 150 millions of Persons." He smiles benignantly, but is much bewildered, and a bust /of Mr, Macaulay (introduced with some malice) smiles sarcastically. . . 425 We come to the Middle Room, where we find— No. 92, " The Tapeworm." A curio u s f an cy. A so be r -looki n g young man, very like the Under-Secretary for War, has harnessed a horse to a cannon with traces made of red tape—the first tug has obviously burst the ridiculous connection, and, with an ineffable smile of self-conceit, the ingenious deviser is assuring the indignant bystanders that all is right and regular. No. 107, " Playing at Ships." The artist usually selects the face for contemplati but the painter of this work has chosen to regard nature from another point of view. An unlucky boy has laid down his satchel', marked " Budget," and has been trying to sail some toy boats in a pond. Over-reaching himself, he has plumped head fore most into the mud, and he is kicking, legs upwards. On a slate by his side is written "C. Wood." A tall Cumberland peasant is looking rather maliciously at the poor stick-inthe-mud ; but he will soon be out, as appears by a figure coming to the rescue; so the spectator's pain is lightened. No. 203, " John, what's Colonies?" A plagiarism of the celebrated flunkeyism " John, what's taxes ?" A couple of her Majesty's servants, a tall, gaunty one, and a small, self-complacent one, lounge before Downing street, and the elder addresses the younger in the above words. A newspaperplacard, just then carried by, bears the an nouncement " War at the Cape, Rebellion iu Australia," but the dig nified couple vouchsafe no notice. No. 263, " The Catechist." Another likeness of the Premier, who . is visiting a country school, and hearing the children say their cato chism. His foot is on a page of the Articles—you can see that he specially tramples on " Original Sin." A child is stealing its com panion's apple; through the window you see two boys firing a hayrick; and on the wall is a " Last D3ing Speech and Confession." Lastly, in the West Room we observe— No. 299, " The Siege of Sebastopol, in 1854-5." An extract from the catalogue will best explain this important work :—" An expedition, originally sent out without an object, and utterly unprepared for active hostilities, was ordered to assault one of the strongest fortresses in the world. The troops obeyed with the unhesitating devotion of British soldiers, but, without adequate arms or even sufficient food. they failed, and the army was ruined." The artist has sought to depict the confusion, sorrow, and despair, existing in the camp at the moment when a courier arrives with the news " Fall of the Coalition," and exultation and hope take the place of dejection. The picture is a gloomy one, but historically truthful. MAY 5, 1855. RESS. HOMO DUPLEX. What, indeed, can be more grand than to see a gentlemen who in the morning hag kissed the hands of his Sovereign in gratitude for all appointment in the State, in the evening soliciting the vote of the humble peasant T—Spereh of the Right lion. Vet, on Smith at Northampton. 'Tis morn, and graceful Vernon sinks upon his beaded knee Before his Sovereign Liege the Queen, in gold embroidery, Her hands to kiss in gratitude that so unfit a man Her Ministers should nominate to rule o'er Hindostan. 'Tis evening, and behold a man, clad in a common coat, With bated breath soliciting a humble peasant's vote ; One almost thinks 'tis Vernon's shape and Vernon's face therewith— But no How grand ! At evening he relapses into Smith ! Such were the words the other day that eloquently fell From Bobus' eon (Convivial Bobe who loved his joke so well !) That statesman who declares himself a Tribune amidst Peers, But who to be a Peer himself would sacrifice his ears. And as I heard his words methought how came they e'er to choose A politician worse than Wood to govern the Hindus. For you may range the country through, from Penzance to Penrith, And yet not find a smaller mind than that of Mr. Smith. SONN E T. .i.v..0A4,444, 4 Is manhood all extinct among our race ? 1.1 43.40 1A01414 Have England's Commons lost their mother-tongue?' Ye were not wont to wear so smooth a face, Or coyly simper out your sense of wrong Ir With such a mincing modesty. Be strong Once more, and fearless ! 'tis no time for grace For those who err so vilely and so long. And, Peers of England, see that ye efface These stains on England's honour. Save us now As ye have saved before. Stand in the van And be the People's spokesmen : from the slough Of our despond raise us to the old height At which our fathers stood. Drive forth this clan Unskilled to give us Peace, yet powerless to fight! THE REAL WONDER OF THE AGE. 1. HERR VON RUSSELL, having just arrived from Vienna, where his surprising Diver tissement on nutter Sunday was received with unbounded appleuse, begs to inform the British public that he is open to offers to REPEAT his PERFORMANCE In soy part of Great Britain or Ireland. HERR Vox RUSSELL Is the most perfect master ever known in every kind of " cross' and transformation. He can go through the religious rites of all creeds with such surprising facility, so as to leave the sharpest spectator In doubt whether he is making game of the holy ceremonies, or is the devout convert he represents himself. His contortions, distortions, genu flexions, manipulations, conjurations, ejaculations, benedictions, and maledictions, are executed with consummate skill. For testimonials to his unrivalled talent, Herr von Russell can proudly refer to Cardinal Wiseman, Dr. Cumming, and the Rev. Mr. Bennett. N.B. The highest offer Mitsui and no engagement held to be binding when better teams are offered: