The Press. — London, England, 1856-08-23 00:00:00

AUGUST 23, 1856. warfare must be fatal in the long run to the Liberal party in Edin burgh, and is a wholesome lesson to the foolish persons who are con stantly prating about the spectacle of Conservative disorganisation. The complaints of the remissness of the metropolitan police which have recently appeared in the press, are not, we believe, with-, out foundation. Their inability to protect the Queen's subjects from petty depredations, and their invariable absence from scenes of riot and turbulence when most wanted, has long been the subject of re mark in all circles—of grave censure among some, and inexhaustible facetiousness among others. Their talent for letting ill alone has been steadily developing itself, and has now reached as far as burglary. Of their accidental miscarriages, such as the escape of FOSCHINI, 86c., we say little, because foreigners are desperate characters, and a police. man cannot be expected voluntarily to endanger his life for the good of his country. But we certainly think that they might act as a cure, if not as a preventive : and that, when a house has been broken into several times, they might be in a position to lay their hands upon the culprit if they chose Whether any complicity exists between the police and the criminal population of London we, of course, cannot undertake to form any opinion. We can only say that appearances are very much against them, and that if they wish to retain the repu tation which they have deservedly acquired, they must act with a degree of vigilance that will, at all events, prevent persons being robbed under their very noses. THE MODERN PROMETHEUS. Anapa is occupied by the Russians: the inhabitants have fled, and bidden themselves in the Mlle.—Evening Star, Aug. 12, and Press, Aug 16. Oh thou prophetic soul ! oh boatswain Chucks ! Whose creed it was—not readily relinquished— That "Earth's ew•ents Tuns round, like wheels in rucks,"* Making next week and now terms undistinguished; " Jura ad verba," Chucks! henceforth I'm led By thee in this without a why or whether; Last night, great shade (if such thou be'st), I read ./Esch}lus and the Evening Star together. lEschylus, Chucks—pardon me, sage profound ! Was a Greek author of some reputation, Who wrote the drama of "Prometheus Bound:" The other's but a penny publication. Prometheus was exposed upon a crag (I mean the hero, Chucks, and not the frigate, You sailed in one so named), with not a rag, For giving fire to man. Great Jove did twig it, And, never more with such to walk as us, lie set grim Vulcan and his crew to bind him; And left him there, all on the Caucasus, Where no one, Chucks, should ever after find him. And while this hero-leader fettered lay Who by his generous deed had earned these titles, An eagle was let loose, that day by day Dined " a discretion " on his throbbing vitals. This thing fell out, Sea-sage ! in the Titan wars, When everything under the sun was new ; Lo ! the Greek's story is the Evening Star's, — It's happening all again;—Chucks ! thou wert true ! The Times is Jove, who kicked once from Olympus (That is the Treasury) Vulcan—Palm--ton, But backs him now in every row and rumpus : KFMTO; Xal Ma is Lord Cl--don, Power and injustice mingled, one in two, Who, sent by Jove to see all matters mended, On the Caucasian hills—who'd think it ?—who ? Has left Prometheus lonely and unfriended. Prometheus, Chucks, is Schamyl :—a brave chief Who brought the fire of freedom to his nation ; He helped men well ; and now—it's past belief— There's none will help him in his desolation ! And, Chucks ! oh, Chucks ! unto his feast diurnal The bloody Russian bird, with eager eye, Is winging his sure way ;—Chueks, here's the journal, Look !—" Anapa is held, the natives fly." • Vide Marryatt's " Peter Simple." WHAT'S IN A NAME? Lord Palmerston will be surprised to learn that the isvostchiks (the droshky-drivers, cor- responding to our " cabbies") chide their horses by shouting his name ; and, when the animals are very refractory, subdue them by threatening that the noble lord is coming immediately. On relating this curious fact, I wa.: told by persons fresh from the interior that the same is uow the case all over Russia, from St. Petersburg to the Don Cossacks, and from Lake Ladoga to the Caspian Sea.—Morning Post Special Correspondent, St. Petersburg, Aug. 6. On what foundation stands Pam's statesman pride? Engage an ivostchik—you'll soon decide ! His fame is destined for a foreign land, The dread and terror of a droshky stand : His name, at which Consistency grows pale, Points the keen lash and warns the whisking tail. 805 AN INTERCEPTED LETTER. FROM A MANAGER TO A DRAMATIC AUTHOR. Now that London is drizzling, and all hasten from it, And nothing's going on but a second-hand comet, Let me hope, my doar Sir, you'll find time to essay Something popular, piquant, and neat in our way. Don't give yourself, pray—while the weather's so hot— Any needless exertion for humour or plot ; With the dullest of dramas the public wont quarrel, Provided no character's healthy or moral For a heroine—bless you, they're sure to be pleased If her heart and her lungs are both very diseased ; And the brightest of triumphs must crown your production If you'll bring in a case of smallpox and seduction. In the days when the dramas of Goldsmith were recent— (A cleverish man, but disgustingly decent) — He tells us a fit of the gripes used to pay, To tickle a mob and to rescue a play : Now the pangs are proloug'd to the patient's last breath, And the audience must always be in at the death. Entre noes—it may act as a spur if I add, I've employed (and, I fancy, the spec is not bad), Together to write (something like Tate and Brady) A student from Guy's, and from Wych-street a—lady ; And a strong corps de bullet I mean to engage To be seized with St. Vitus's dance on the stage. DEPARTMENTAL BILLS. THE heads of departments have been thrown into an extreme flurry by the receipt of the Palmerstonian circular requesting them to send in the " particulars of all legislative measures which they are desirous of having introduced into Parliament." By a singular coincidence the Premier's missive was delivered among the post letters on the morning of the fatal " 12th," and its effect upon Ministerial nerves may be exemplified by the fact that the " departmental " bags at the close of the day were as empty as their budget of bills at the close of the session. By daybreak on the 13th all the " Heads " were busily working away at the concoction of legislative measures, in compliance with the hint from their chief. The success which has attended their labours is already remarkable ; and the rough drafts of several bills, or parts of bills, are now on their way to Brocket Hall. Among other Ministerial prize essays, the Lord Chancellor has sent in another scheme for the consolidation of the statute law, of which he has actually completed the preamble and first clause, as follows : Whreas, &c., it is expedient that the Statute Law of England should Le simplified and consolidated. Be it enacted, and it is hereby enacted by &c., and with Stc., that all the existing statutes of the realm are repealed and shall from the Ist day of April next absolutely cease and determine. Having made this unprecedented advance towards the great work of codification, Lord Cranworth intends to leave the minor points and adjustments of detail to the discussion in committee. The Duke of Argyll has drafted a Bill for creating an office in which shall be combined the functions of Lecture-General, Precentor, Drum-Major, and Surgeon-Accoucheur to the Cabinet. The first en joyment of this important post his Grace proposes, with his wonted humility, to confer upon Baron Sundridge. The Home Secretary, in outlining a Bill for London Corporation Reform, has ventured upon the extreme step of abolishing tiog and Magog. Sir George, we believe, is well aware of his rashness in the proceeding, and when the time comes will be found not less squeezable than heretofore. Sir G. C. Lewis has transmitted a Bill which Pam declares to be nearly as unintelligible as his speeches. So far as the measure has been interpreted by the cleverest Under-Secretary, it seems to com prise an entirely new scheme of taxation. All existing imposts are abolished, and the revenue raised exclusively by a tax upon teeth. So much per annum is levied upon molars, double the amount on grinders, with fifty per cent. extra on every detailed case of artificial dentition. The plan is said to be well calculated to obtain the sup port of the Cabinet, having been framed upon the advice and in the interest of a select circle of old women. THE PRESS. OUDE COURT CIRCULAR. WE have omitted to state that the Right Honourable the Presislent of the Board of Control, Mr. Vernon Smith, and the Directors of the East India Board, attended at the Southampton Docks on Thursday, to felicitate her Majesty the Queen Mother and the heir apparent of Oude upon their safe arrival in this country. The Right Hon. the President of the Board of Control, who was dressed in gorgeous Oriental costume, in compliment to the distin guished visitors, assisted, in virtue of his office, the chosen maids of honour into their carriage. The Directors of the Honourable Com pany held up the screen as her Majesty passed down the gangway. The Directors afterwards superintended the landing of the luggage, and Sir James Weir Hogg, whose lively and benevolent nature endear him to the ex-Royal flunily, was specially intrusted with the care of the royal treasure. The Directors of the in consequence of the magna nimous spirit displayed by the Queen , have resolved to e nte r t a i n her Majesty and suite during their stay in London. The establishment in Leadenhall-street is to be forthwith wLktiJwashed and purified.