The Press. — London, England, 1856-02-09 00:00:00

FEBRUARY 9, 1850. We might " early-close " a goose, Ever gabbling " fast-and-loose," Like " Bob-addle," of intellects obfuscate ; And of course extinguish quite, Very early in the night, Tho " gas " that from our Premier will coruscate. And thus, just as well, who knows? As if we were to close The " Maison de Do-ill" itself, We might be clearing space For the athletes in the race, By putting all the " bad-uns " on the shelf. AMERICAN (SECRET) CORRESPONDENCE. DOCUMENTS WHICH WILL PROBABLY NOT BE FOUND IN THE BLUE BOOK WHEN THE CORRESPONDENCE CONNECTED WITH THE AMERICAN QUESTION IS LAID BEFORE PARLIAMENT. No. 96. LORD CLARENDON TO LORD PALMERSTON. Tuesday. My dear Palmerston,—Grampton's last I inclose. All seems going on as you could desire, and Pierce is playing into your hands. Excuse a hint, and don't overrun your game. What shall I say to C. ? I mean, of course, privately.—Yours, always, Foreign office. No. 97. LORD PALMERSTON TO LORD CLARENDON. CLARENDON. Wednesday. My dear Clarendon.—Right as a trivet. Always hint anything you like, or rather don't hint,—speak out, bang, Do you think we are going a little too fast? Well, perhaps we are. But remember that the peace negotiations will go on fast, also, and we must accumulate our war capital, or we shall be on our backs. The Yankee sensation must be got up immediately after Parliament meets. Shape the letter your own way, but recollect—from the moment peace is signed we are froze•out gardeners.—Ever yours, Piccadilly. No. 98. LORD CLARENDON TO MR. CRAMPTON. (Extract.) PALMERSTON. You will not fail to make it distinctly understood by the American Government that propositions made on our part while a certain state of things exists in Europe are liable to modification should that state of things be altered. An apology, which we might have no difficulty in making, while our fleets and armies are engaged in the northern and southern seas, would be ridiculous and inadmissible were those forces liberated. Should you be met by the argument that what is right should be done irrespective of circumstances, you will admit the general propriety of that proposition, but will show that the special circumstances of the present case remove it from the ordinary category, and exact an exceptional solution. It will be matter of regret with her Majesty's Government should this view tend to irritation instead of conviction, but we see no alternative. No. 99. THE SAME TO THE SAME. (Private. Extract.) Keep him on the simmer, my dear fellow ; but the pot must not boil over just yet, if at all. No. 117. FROM MR. CRAMPTON TO LORD CLARENDON. (Private. Extract.) I can't make you understand these people. They are neither Spaniards nor Russians. If you would tell me exactly what you and Pain want—supposing you know yourselves—and would leave me to work it out, I should know my way. But we shall all get into a mess if you will insist in chalking out my course for me. As it is, or rather as it was, we are in the right; but we are now doing our d—dest to turn a good cause into a bad one. In a word, do you want a row? No. 118. LORD CLARENDON TO LORD PALMERSTON. (Inclosing the above.) My dear Pam,—Lege, domine, lege. He wants to know whether we want a row. Ha! ha!—Yours, ever, c. Foreign-office. No. 119. LORD PALMERSTON TO LORD CLARENDON. (Extra Vt. Private.) How good. Un veritable Arcadien. Make it clear to his weak mind, but, 1 say, take care what you write. He is a man to explode. Send him an article fi•om THE PRESS. or somewhere, in which the game is shown, and hint to him that true words are often spoken in joke. He can hardly misunderstand that. By the way, what is the force of America ? I've forgotten all about it. Once more, be cautious what you say to C. No. 120. LORD CLARENDON TO MR. CRAMPTON. (Extract. Private.) I regret that you should misunderstand the views of H.M. Govern• meat, or suppose that we should deliberately direct you in a course calculated, or at least intended, to bring on hostilities. At the same time, actuated by a higher consideration than that of the mere pre- 133 servation of peace, we do not hesitate to look in the face the contin gency at which you hint. H.M. Government, aware of the feeling of this country in regard to itself, has one great duty before it, namely, the taking care that while Europe recovers herself from the agitation of war, while the ruptured relations of States are granulating and reuniting after their wounding severance, the process shall be pre sided over by no Government less skilful than that which has brought the war to an issue. This—the retaining the present Ministry in office—is due to Europe, and from that solemn and sacred duty we will not flinch. Follow my argument, my dear Crampton, and now com prehend that, in the present state of the House of Commons and the country, a war sensation is necessary to the endurance of Lord Pal merston's Government. To your able hands is confided the task of providing that sensation, and I trust that I need scarcely add that we must have it—harmlessly, if possible—but we must have it. No. 139. Mn. CRAMPTON TO LORD CLARENDON. (Extract. Private.) The President hinted—in fact, said—in the course of dinner, that the policy of H.M. Government curiously resembled that which his enemies had the cruelty to attribute to himself, namely, a desire to appear quarrelsome, for the sake of popularity, even though such pre tence should lead to serious consequences. No. 146. LORD CLARENDON TO LORD PALMERSTON. (Inclosing the above.) Pierce is no fool But it was devilish uncivil to say such a thing to poor Crampton. I think I put the matter neatly in my last—l thought it would be better than sending a newspaper article, which might have frightened him. No. 147. LORD PALMERSTON TO LORD CLARENDON. ... (Extract. Private.) Confound Pierce. I hope the story will not get wind. Don't you go telling it to any of your smoky associates, mind that, there's a good fellow. Well, things must go on. I'm afraid there is no chance of escaping this infernal peace, but we will hope for the best ; and in the meantime let Crampton nurse Pierce's wrath, and keep it warm. It may turn out awkwardly, for he sees our game, and of course is the less afraid to push his own. But the eara aura, after me the Deluge, so sing whack.fol-de-rol, and the devil take the hindmost. Put that into decorousness for our virtuous Crampton. ORNITHOLOGICAL RECREATION. Let dogs delight to bark and bite, For God has made them so.—Dr. Wade. (Suggested by a scene in the House of Commons last night.) Let Cuckoos as they wing the sky On thievish missions go, Aud warm themselves in plundered nests, For God h , ..s made them so. But, Mr. Lowe, you should not take The Cuckoo for your guide, Nor measures that you want " convey " From men on t'other side. •'II That you may walk in honest ways This lesson learn by heart, 'Tis shameful in a Minister To play the Cuckoo's part. AN OLD FRIEND WITH A NEW(S) FACE. Who" Daily " writes the " News " writes trash— 'Twos his—and has been slave to thousands.—Othello. (Appropriate Illustrations Understood.) This is the Print that Boz cut. This is the Smith who nicknamed the Print that Boz cut. This is the Stuff that bored the Smith who &c. This is the Flat who read the Stuff that bored the Smith who &c. This is the Blunder of . .51 that astonished the Flat who &c. This is the Scribbler who wrote the Blunder of ' 7 )l that &c. This is the Proprietor who turned out the Scribbler who &c. This is the League that took up the Proprietor who Sc. This is the Room that belonged to the League that &c. This is the "Conductor" who "begged in the Room that" &c. This is the Quaker who showed up the Conductor who &c. These are the Changes (from No-Party to Whig—from Whig to Radical—from Radical to Manchester—from Manchester to Protectionist, &c. &c.) that disgusted the Quaker who &c. These are the " Crashes " that led to the Changes that &c. These are the Sums that were lost in the " Crashes " that &c. And these are the Noodles all forlorn who found themselves pretty closely shorn of the Sums that were lost in the Clashes that led to the Changes that disgusted the Quaker who showed up the Conductor who begged in the Room that belonged to the League that took up the Proprietor who turned out the Scribbler who wrote the Blunder that astonished the Flat who read the Stuff that bored the Smith who nicknamed the Print that Boz cut. THE PRESS.