The Press. — London, England, 1855-08-11 00:00:00

AUG. 11, 1855. Be nonchalant as they go on, Give friends a wink and foes a yawn, And foes a yawn, Give friends a wink and foes a yawn. Adroitly " riling," Slily smiling, Facetious winking, Questions blinking, In short, from every duty shrinking, But of the day That brings the pay Called by the title of Quarter-day. For Houses of Commons feel no disgrace In leaving such pantaloons in place. A blush divided is not much weight To each of six hundred and fifty-eight, Six hundred anti fifty-eight. A blush divided is not much weight To each of six hundred and fifty-eight. THE WHITEBAIT DINNER. THE Ministerial Whitebait Dinner, which usually precedes the close of the session, took place on Wednesday last at Hart's Trafalgar, Green wich. Forty convives were present. The banquet was an unexcep tionable one, and went off amid the utmost good humour. The state of the Thames water was one of the topics of conversation, and much innocent mirth was occasioned by the Premier's picking out several of the less healthy-looking whitebait from his second help, sending them round with his compliments to the ex-President of the Board of Health, and asking if he wasn't ashamed of himself. The staple jokes about loaves and fishes were exchanged by those who dined for the first time on such an occasion, and Sir Charles Wood made an excellent epigram about a whitebait not being a bite noir, only the explanation took him a long time. . The routine toasts having been disposed of, Lord G RANVILLE proposed the health of the Ministry, coupling it with that of the Premier. Lord PALMERSTON said that he had had the happiness to dine once or twice before at the Ministerial Whitebait Dinner—(laughter)— and he hoped for the pleasure of meeting the party before him, or th .ir successors—(sensation)—that time next year. Mr. Hart had taken vary good care of them, and his own opinion was that a hart was a much pleasanter creature to meet than a Roebuck. (Applause.) They had changed this time from the Crown and Sceptre to the Trafalgar ; for the shock of looking round the well-known room at the former hotel, and missing many of the old familiar faces they had met there last year, would have been too much for the sensibility of some of them. Where was Aberdeen, where Newcastle, where Gladstone, where Graham, where Herbert, where—(the noble lord was here overcome by emotion, and unable to speak for some moments)—where was Russell ? But he would not dwell on such themes upon an occasion of festivity— sorrow was the common lot, and it was our duty to be thankful for what was left to us rather than to repine at what wo had lost. They had assembled at the Trafalgar—a name which, of course, reminded him of Nelson and the immortal signal. Well, some people were ill natured enough to say that, to judge from the confusion which existed in certain departments, and the desire which some folks had evinced to transfer their responsibility to others, a Minister of the present day was like England, for he expected every man to do his duty. But that was a weak invention of the enemy. (Applause.) However, self praise was no commendation, and he would not take credit to the Ministry for anything they had done, or abstained from doing, but he would only congratulate them all on meeting that day, and express a hope, slightly modified from the celebrated toast of one of the wicked clubs of Charles the Second's time, namely, that all who were not kicked out in the meantime might meet there next August. (Applause.) Lord GRANVILLE said that there was a good Ministerial custom which had fallen into desuetude. Sir CHARLES WOOD said that " if it had fallen into de suet you'd find it come out rather greasy," and he was immediately placed in the corner of the room, and forbidden to return to the table until he could say something better. Lord GRANVILLE proceeded. The custom had been the naming and rewarding that member of the Ministry who at the end of the session was found to have attended most regularly to his duty. Ho had been speaking to one of the whips. Sir CHARLES (from the corner): " He'd settle the question in a crack." But this, it was agreed, would not do. Lord GRANVILLE: But the merits of several individuals were so nearly equal that it was difficult to adjudge the prize ; besides which, Ministerial changes had complicated the matter So no prize would be given this time, but he gave notice that next session there would be a fair start, and both the cup for the best-behaved boy, and the wooden spoon for the worst, would be presented by whosoever might, in August, 1856, hold the office he had then the honour of holding. Provisionally, he thought that (divisions apart) the latter article had been fairly earned by Vernon Smith, for the worst speech ever made about India or anything else. (Laughter and applause). The PRESIDENT of the BOARD Of CONTROL would accept the dis tinction without a murmur, but if bad speeches, or general blunder ing, were to obtain it, instead of the old legitimate lobby business, several of his friends ran him rather close. What did they think of the Newspaper Stamp Bill, which had eonfused the whole country, 761. from the Postmaster-General to the news-boy—what of the Scotch Education Bill, what of the Tenants' Compensation ? (Cries of " Order. order.") It was all very well to say order (and he hoped Granville would order some more claret), but he did not see why the spoon should be given to him. Lord PALMERSTON said that the honourable party was ungrateful. Could anything be more delicately complimentary than the asking a man to dinner, and presenting him with his own likeness? (Roars.) Sir CHARLES WOOD pleaded that that joke was good enough for two, and was allowed to come out under cover of it. Some other toasts were proposed, and among them the health of the LORD CHANCELLOR, who returned thanks. He was very much obliged to those friends who had made him Chancellor, for the office gave him very little trouble. He introduced scarcely any bills, and whatever law measures were dealt with in the Lords, Campbell, and St. Leonards, and Brougham were good enough to put into ship shape. lie rather piqued himself, however, upon the elegant manner in which he handed her Majesty's speech to her at the prorogation, and he regretted to hear that this time he should not have the oppor tunity of distinguishing himself. (his Lordship was hereupon ordered to rehearse the ceremony, with a table-napkin for a whip, and the bill of fare, which he had kept as a "document," for the speech, but he refused, saying that it was treating a solemn subject with levity.) The LORD PRIVY SEAL returned thanks without having had his health drunk, because he declared he had no notion of being thrust off to the end of the evening, when nobody listened to anybody. He gave a lucid sketch of the history of all past Governments, from the theocracy down to the Coalition, and proved, logically, that a Govern ment which contained himself must be an improvement upon any other form. He concluded by saying that he would then take leave. Lord PALMERSTON : Hoar, hear! Good night, my boy. The LORD PRIVY SEAL requested that he might be heard out. He would take leave to propose the health of the Lord Presi lent, who had many good points about him, and who, if he took pains, and the advice of those competent to give it, might attain distinction. _ Lord GRANVILLE said that he was thankful for so much encourage ment, and should remember that his Grace was bountiful. He (Lord Granville) had described himself as a " buffer" in the Lords the other night, and he flattered himself that his forte did lie in preventing collisions. Sir CHARLES WOOD: From your constant attendance in your box I should call you an Opera buffer. (Derision.) Lord GRANVILLE : The u in " buffer" is long. Sir CHARLES WOOD: Nothing should be long at this time of tho evening. This hint broke up the party, and they returned to town by the Widgeon, the only misadventure being the unhappiness caused by Sir Charles Wood's insisting on declaring that it was a be-widgeon scene ; but he professed his penitence before landing, and voluntarily added that he only said it pour passer le Thames. YOUNG SIR ROBERT'S FAITH. I firmly believe that the country has the strongest confidence in her Majesty's M Misters.— Speech of Sir R. Peet at the Polish Meeting. Dear me, if you really believe What you say, how amazing your swallow ! What miracles won't you receive ! You'll have faith in the fictions that follow : In a moon of green cheese all composed, In the Fount of Perpetual Youth, In Lord Palmerston being disposed To be guided by Honour and Truth; That wens' heads 'neath their shoulders will grow, That sea-serpents meander the deep, That Lord John is a generous foe, And that crocodiles verily weep ; That Cranworth knows something of Law, That witches can ride on a broom, That soothsayers truly foresaw In cheeps' entrails the Commonwealth a doom ; That your brother—dear Freddy, I mean— Is genial and gen'rous and kind, That Wood's intellect's brilliant and keen, And Carlisle not deficient in mind ; That the Wandering Jew is no myth, That Moleaworth's by no means a prig, That no coxcomb is poor Vernon Smith, And that Palmerston's really a Whig ; That mermaids still float o'er the wave, That Argyll is modest and shy, That bodies can rise from the grave, And Demagogues cease to be sly; That Lewis is sparkling and bright, Panmure not the least addle-pated, That Deathwatches tick in the night, And Fairies fright people belated. In short, your belief is so vast, Your swallow so very capacious, I shouldn't much wonder at last If you thought your own self quite sagacious. THE PRESS.