The Press. — London, England, 1855-03-17 00:00:00

THE PRESS. MARCH 17, 1855. LULLABY. BY THE NURSE OF JOHN RUSSELL, JUN& It had become a matter of fact that after the Noble Lord hadbeen absent a fortnight prepara tions were made for the removal to Vienna of the whole of his family and establishment. including some very young children, so me of then so young that I anderstasti they are to travel so leisurely that they will occupy seven days iw the journey. It would appear from this that the Noble Lord. contemplates a lengthened stay at Vienna--Speech of the Earl y Derby (Times, March IV, 18410). Baby, my dear, we're not going to be hurried, We'll stop at each stage for our milk and our bun ; Baby's Papa won't have baby flurried For all the old colonies under the sun. If the naughty things riot and breed revolutions, Baby shall quietly have out its nap ; While they look after Pa with their new Constitutions, Baby, dear Baby, shall mumble its pap. Sweet pretty Poppet, their letters in batches We'll drop in the Danube, the Rhine, or the Po ; Their great thick memorials and heavy despatches We'll make into dollies to dance as we go. What matter their wants and impertinent bustle If wind on its stomach should trouble its state— If its gums should be teazing the little pet Russell Who, thanks to " Lord William," was born to be great. When he grows, if the measles don't spoil his condition, As big as Papa, the dear Cockatoo, He'll have such nice playthings, a nice pretty mission, And lots of nice babies to go with him too. So, baby, my darling, we're not to be hurried, • We'll stop at each stage for our milk and our bun ; Baby's Papa won't have Baby "worried "* For all the old colonies under the sun. • A Padiamantary expression of Baby's Paps. THE " LEADING" JOURNAL 257 going to submit to be impleaded in any Court whatsoever, whatever its judgment may be ordered to be? But that is quite of a piece with the impudence of enacting the defaming us " a misdemeanour," when it chances at this moment to be high treason. Such provisions, we repeat, can only be meant for insult, and w•e will undertake the go vornment of Great Britain on no such terms. Where, we should like to know, are the provisions for the govern ment of India, and in whose hands can that Government be placed so efficiently as in our own? What is provided as to Education ! What education, we should like to know, can equal that obtained in our own columns? Yet, though this proposed bill contains in its title an allusion to " liberty of the press," there is not a word in the whole of it providing for the suppression of mischievous publications, such as M.'Culloch's " Dictionary," or Alison's " History," or Black's " Atlas," which are perpetually running counter to our views, commercial, his. torical, and geographical. Finally, it is not for ourselves that we put aside this Crown, like Caesar at the Lupercal. It is in the interest of the people who, we know, will " shout again." It is clear, that Dic tator we must be; and if that is not done, absolutely and uncondi tionally, by one short act of a single section, why we must resort to a coup de plume. The consequences be on the heads of those who com pel us. OUR FAST-DAY. Ay, proclaim a day of fasting and of penance, ye aro right ; Strew your heads with dust symbolic, on your breasts remorseful smite ; For evil deeds that ye have wrought, for good yo've left undone, Cry out in tearful anguish, "'tis our sin and ours alone." But in your peevish insolence beware the godless creed That would impute to Heaven the fruits of which ye sow'd the seed ; And while ye bid the people that they aid you in your pray'rs, Own 'tis for pardon of the faults that wore your own—not theirs. Ay, fast and pray that your neglect of those true hearts and brave Who've pass'd from their long bitter fast to the cold Tartar grave May yet be blotted out by the remorseful tears ye shed, And by the tender sorrowing with which we weep the dead, And by the angeid nation's vow, which may not be withstood, That inquest stern shall still be made for all that guiltless blood, And by the pious chivalry of those who still remain To do and die as manfully on that bleak Tartar plain. Fast, Premier, from disloyal acts, and from the scoffing sneers, And jaunty tone of levity, which ill b esoom thy years , Fast, Russell, from indulgence in thy petulance and spleen, And true-bred Whiggish haughtiness—ever loss proud than mean ; Fast, Carlisle, from thy coxcomb smiles and philanthropic airs, Through which thy pulseless apathy will peep out unawares ; Such is the fast it well behoves our Ministers to make For their errors and their follies and our lessened honour's sake. MINISTERIAL PENANCE. IT is with lugubrions pleasure we inform our readers that upon Wednesday next the members of her Majesty's Government will proceed in single file from Downing-street to the Penitentiary, there to make full confession of their incompetency and shortcomings. At nine o'clock precisely this melancholy cortege will leave the Treasury-offices, headed by the Viscount PALMERSTON, clad in sackcloth, with ashes on his head, his eyebrows shaved, and his countenance, usually so cheerful, toned down to an aspect befitting the sad occasion ; followed by The Duke of NEWCASTLE (specially permitted to join), clad in a Regulation blanket, and with green coffee-berries in his boots. Lord PANMURE, in light summer clothing, a birch-broom in one hand, a box of gout and rheumatic pills in the other, and a tight pair of ammunition hoots upon his feet. Lord GRANVILLE, with a flannel cartridge under each arm, a few Minch shells round his waist (part of the incredible quantity of ammunition which was not sent out to the Crimea), and a sponge and rammer across his shoulders. Mr. FREDERICK PEEL, with his hair brushed the wrong way, clad in the Regulation drawers and flannel waistcoat only, a coil of red tape in each hand, with pens, ink, and paper attached. Sir CHARLES WOOD, in blue frock and trousers, his hair cut close, a quid in each cheek, and a couple of dead-eyes slung round his neck, carrying a fid of grease and a inarlinspike in one hand, a squeejee and a holystone in the other, and his boots full of salt water. Sir GEORGE GREY, with his facs tattooed and head ornamented with the feathers of a New Zealand chief, carrying the unsold copies of " Polynesian Mythology." Sir WILLIAM MOLESWORTII, in shirt-sleeves, paper cap, and apron, with a small bag containing hammer and tacks, and a bottle of French polish (as he appeared upon a rece nt occasion at Hampton Court), and driving a furniture van, will bring up the rear. It is earnestly hoped that the populace will remain in doors during the time of the procession (from nine till haffpast ten a.m.), and leave the metropolis silent and deserted to the penitential pro cession. ON THE NEW BILL FOR TRANSFERRING THE GOVERN _ MENT TO THE " TIMES" NEWSPAPER. Wa presume that if we asked at any given moment in the twenty-four hours what subject was occupying the mind of any man lying awake in Christendom, the true reply would be the Times. Price of stocks, state of the crops, success of speculations, state of the odds, chances of briefs, hopes of livings, expectations of patients, anticipation of power, desire of command on land or sea, everything that agitates the mind of mankind, from the Premier, actual or expectant, down to the footman out of place, is postponed to one of the great questions, What will the Times say ? how is the Times possibly produced ? what should become of us without the Times t what Deus noble gave the glory and delight of having a Times? Nor are the people to whom we are thus the object of affection and solicitude ungrateful for the blessing granted them in us. On the contrary, they feel that Law, Church, Government, Army, all within the boards of Blackstone, might be lost if the Times is only left to them, to glad them with its 87,000,000 copies per morning. If Mr. Macaulay's New Zealander ever does come to sit on the ruined arch of London-bridge, the nation has one hope, namely, that Printing-house•square will be as busy as over, and the Zealander's arrival announced, and his sketch criticised with the accuracy and candour only to be found in the Times. Now, painful as our readers see it is to us to speak of ourselves, we think that we are entitled to a moment's audience on a subject affecting us, and through us , of course, the universe. What we had anticipated as inevitable has come to pass. The Government of the British Empire, which we have so long virtually exercised, is now openly offered us by a measure, the draft of which, as " ordered to be printed," lies before us : it is entitled " A Bill for the More " Effectual Prosecution of the War with Russia, and for securing the " Liberty of the Press, and for other purposes," and is contained in four teen sections. We must beg leave to say at the outset, once for all, and with that bluntness and honesty which we are accustomed to dis play, that this bill is utterly and thoroughly inadequate, and is, in proportion to our importance and the amount of the services we have rendered, quite unworthy of our acceptance. True, it proposes to transfer to us the conduct of the War, the patronage of the Army and Navy, the removal of all Cabinet Ministers, and substitution of ,' Times Cabinet Commissioners ;" excludes us from the law of libel ; orders all Courts to decide according to our views ; suppresses all obscure journals; and empowers us to appoint our valued corre spondent "S. G. O." Archbishop of Canterbury. But do the con coctors of this very late attempt at acknowledging our power and per severance really expect that we shall condescend to accept so paltry an instalment? Look, for instance, at the seventh section, which provides that we shall hare power to displace Ministers, " and to appoint " special commissioners to govern the country in their stead, such new " Ministers to be called The Times' Cabinet Commissioners.' " As, however, it happens that we actually do at this moment exercise all the powers of an Administration, what can our readers call it but impertinence to enact this section, instead of simply declaring that we are at this moment the sole authority? And again, " All " Courts to give judgment according to the opinion of the Times," indeed Pray do those who make title paltry offer fanny that we are ~: i i ,; w ~ . .-