The Press. — London, England, 1856-10-04 00:00:00

OCTOBER 4, 1856. use ? Mr. PERCEVAL was killed by a pistol-shot, Mr. DRUMMOND was killed by a pistol-shot. The Queen has been repeatedly fired at. Do not these cases establish as good a case against the sale of firearms, as the instances of a few foolish or artful people being sent to hospi- tals from self-administered doses of laudanum ? We believe that, as a general rule, druggists use quite as much caution in the sale of dangerous drugs as is consistent with their sale of drugs at all. Let any one go about London and attempt to obtain corrosive sublimate for his experiments, or any other drug which happens to have a bad name, and he will have more reason to accuse the impertinent caution of druggists than to complain of their laxity. It will not do to legis late as if the world were composed of idiots, fools, drunkards, and murderers. We must legislate for rational beings, and we must teach so ciety to rely for its safety mainly on its own prudence. In such liberty, as in all liberty, there is danger of abuse, but, on the whole, the danger is not so great as to look to Government for protection against all the real or imaginary perils with which life in large communities is beset. The limits within which Government should act must be determined by common sense. We suppose we must have Government inspectors of mines, Government inspectors of factories, Government inspectors of railways, perhaps Government inspectors of banks, unless good sense decides that the evil of credulity bears with it its own antidote ; but such inspection is not free from evils of its own of its peculiar kind, and if we are to have Government inspection of bakers, druggists, haberdashers, &c., with registration of arms and other precautions of like nature, we shall soon find our selves completely under the control of an army of Government officials and spies. It is necessary to the freedom of modern society that it should be taught that its safety depends on itself, and that it should be accustomed to exercise thought and vigilance, and to trust to established character, instead of throwing itself wholly on the pro tection of Government surveillance. I%lr. WALTER SAVAGE LANDOR has addressed the following letter to a Mr. J. MERITON WHITE : TO J. MERITON warrE. At the present time I have only 100/. of ready money at my disposal, and am never likely to have so much in future. Of this 1 transmit to you Si. towards " the acquisition of 10,000 muskets to be given to the first Italian province which shall rise." The remaining 951. I reserve for the family of the first patriot who asserts the dignity and performs the duty of tyrannicide. Abject men have cried out against me for my commendation of this virtue, the highest of which a man is capable, and now the most imperative. Is it not an absurdity to remind us that usurpers will rise up afresh? Do not all transgressors? And must we therefore lay aside the terrors of chastisement, or give a ticket of leave to the most atrocious criminal ? Shall one enslave millions ? Shall the laws be subverted, and we be told that we act against them or without their sanction when none are left us, and when, guided by eternal justice, wo smite down the subvertor? Three or four blows, instantaneous and simul taneous, may save the world many years of war and degradation. If it is unsafe to rob a citizen, shall it be safe to rob a people? In what country is not every schoolboy taught, even by the priests who are ordinarily his instructors—here impelled uncon sciously by a hand invisible—to applaud the self-devoted vindicator? The ferule strikes the desk, and the boy rises at once into the man. lierktrEa SAVAGE LANDOR. Mr. LANDOR has clearly mistaken his vocation. Nature evidently intended him to cut throats, not to mend pens. He should have been a Gaucho, or a Red Indian, or an Italian brigand, rather than an English gentleman and man of letters. It is in conceivable that a man verging on eighty, with one foot aul half the other in the grave, should deliberately offer 951. as a pre mium on regicide. Such an atrocious a proposal is so far removed from all English habits of thought, that we are confirmed in a suspicion, long entertained, that Mr. LANDOR has reached his second childhood without regaining his innocence or losing his love fur bloodshed and murder. AN IMAGINARY IDYL. BY THEOCRITUS REDIVIVUS. JOHN BRIGHT, overtaken by Bzwia. OsnoaNH. KENSINGTON-GARDENS. OSBORNE.—Ha! ha ! Bonjour. Thou art not going down West minster way, art thou? BRIGHT.—Verily Ido not comprehend thee. First thou tellest me a lie, and then thou askest me a question. OSBORNE.—Then thou art going to Westminster, and I, 0 thou of the upturned coat-collar, will go with thee, lightening the way with conversation. BRIGHT.—I know not that I shall derive much profit by thy talk, 0 joker of second-hand jokes; nevertheless, inasmuch as I may do thee good, have with thee. And what news of thy department? Art fitting out new vessels of wrath, at great price, to make war upon the kings and princes of the earth ? OssoßNE.—lt is fitting that commerce should be protected, child of Manchester. BRlGHT.—Commerce can protect itself, thou middle-aged Momus, and I would that thy warlike whimsies were not linked with so whole some a thing as merchandise. I wish I had a seat in the Cabinet of thy masters. OSBORNE.—Art serious, 0 man of the ample brim ? Because, more impossible things have come to pass. Shall I say unto the old man, even Palmerston the pleasant, that thine ambition points to a place ? BRIGHT.—Did I desire place, thou profane jester, it is not through thee that I should seek, or hope to obtain it. OSBORNE.—Though art less than civil, monger of cottons. I could do thy business with the Governor in a brace of shakes. j 949 BRIGHT.—I know not thy measures of time, which seem some what slangy, jocose Secretary. But Ido not greatly covet the honour of being introduced by thee into a Ministry. I mean no offence. OSBORNE.—And I take none, pugilistic Quaker. But, to speak not jokingly, but seriatim, as Joseph Hume was wont to say, thou mightest do worse than come among us. Thy audacious oratory, and supposed talents for business, might he made available in office. BRlGHT.—Humouring thy folly, sportive statesman, what office could your chief assign to me that would be worth my acceptance ? OSBORNE.—Frankly, 0 ferocious Friend, I think, that to secure thee, Palmerston would reek little of displacing whomsoever might be in the way. Think over it. Thou hast knowledge—or rather thou hast harangued upon the subject of India. Vernon of the kid gloves is not an essential element of the Administration. BRIGHT.—I should remodel India in a way that might profoundly inconvenience thy friends, Thersites. OSBORNE.—The Exchequer is more in thy way, son of Shoddy. Thou art up to figures—shall we remit Lewis to his Review ? BRIGHT.—As I should stipulate, larky one, that the army be disbanded, and the navy handed over to the carrying trade, my budget would be more acceptable to the tax-payer than to thy aristo cratic patrons. OSBORNE —Thou would'st not be amiss as a Home Secretary, burly believer in Barclay. There thou could'st hardly interfere, and there is nothing to offend thy prejudices. BRIGHT.—And the gallows an institution of the country, flippant underling ? Thou can st not tempt me. Besides, where would be the wisdom of my allying myself to thy moribund association? The mer chant who willingly enters into partnership with a bankrupt firm in vites disgrace to his reputation. OSBORNE.—And who told thee, man of drab, that we are moribund ? BRIGHT.—Does a man with a grain of sense need to be told it, 0 more wooden than Wood thy master ? How much longer dolt think the people will endure a Government that lives but to be beaten ? OSBORNE.—Ah! that was last session, queer Quaker. Butter luck next time. BRIGHT.—I know nothing of luck, ungodly ex•otscer. But I would fain know what new reasons ye have for expecting success. Have ye agreed upon a single principle, prepared a single broad, bold measure, decided upon a single course of consistent policy? If so, the improvement upon your feats of last year may augur better things, and I might care to cast in my lot among you. OSBORNE.—Nay, thou would'st be our Lot's wife, our lump of salt, Obadiah Bright. And I am told that we are coining out with a tremendous programme, for the reformation of creation generally, in British and foreign parts. Palmerston has caused every man of us to send in his scheme. BRIGHT —And—ha! ha !—what halt thou sent in, vain and incon venient jester? Were lin office, I bear thee no malice, but by—l mean by all means thou should'st speedily send in thy resignation. OSBORNE.—I am as good as any of them, and better than most, thou bellowing bull of Bashan. Take that—thou did'st not think I was so well up in biblical information. Why would'st turn me out ? Because we have exchanged a few hard words ? See how I abused Graham, and afterwards became his secretary. BRIGHT.—Words, Portugal onion, what do I care for words ! But who entrusts grave interests to a mountebank? Enough of such small mutters as thyself—tell me of the plans of thy employers. Is the representation to be reformed ? OSBORNE.—Not exaetually, John the grumble-merchant. BRIGHT.—Is the Church of England to be made to disgorge her plunder, frivolous official? OSBORNE.—Pam would not care, 0 blatant Behemoth, but says it would scarcely be safe. BRIGHT.—Is corporation property to be confiscated to the nation, thou benighted bauble ? 08BOWNE.—Lowe has not been lucky at that work, 0 Pharisee in collars. I think we shall not try it again. BRIGHT.—Is the law to be overhauled and made comprehensible, butterfly Bernal? OSBORNE.—Thou seest we have no one who understands it well enough to perform the operation, bullfrog Bright. BRIGHT.—Is our taxation system to be revised and adjusted, thcu Brummagem Torn Duncombe ? OSBORNE.—Who on earth, thou unreasonable nonconformist, have we to undertake the task ? BRIGHT.—Then what, 0 insufficient Osborne, is the programme of which thou hest vaunted OSBORNE.—WiIt promise not to disclose the secret, self-sufficient Bright, if I confide it unto thee ? BRIGHT.—I will use my discretion, thou Pagan ; nevertheless, fear thou not. OSBORNE.—Nay, thou schismatic, I must have a more specific undertaking. Thy finger on thy lip—Harpocrates fashion. BRIGHT.—WeII, then, take the promise. lam dumb, 0 ridiculous Ralph. What is the grand plan of thy pretentious chief ? OSBORNE (drawing near him mysteriously).--It is—WALKER (Darts off, pursued for some distance by the enraged Bright, but the latter being tits heavier, the light-heeled Secretary escapes. The ray. (ale) gentleman sate down amid, ite. ttc.—Tinies report of Sir James Graham's speech at Liverpool, Wednesday, Oct. 1. In character cranky, in credit still worse, Does Bev. mean the Reverend?- -No : the Reverse. THE PRESS.