The Press. — London, England, 1855-01-27 00:00:00

THE PRESS. JANUARY 27, 1855. That, as far as big oaths and bristling hair Make a scoundrel a soldier, you'll scarcely e'er Find fellows more ready to look the hero : Their fighting qualities stand at zero." Never mind that, they'll count as six, And the Opposition bench we'll " fix," For they said the number we'd get was nix. " PS. The braves Belges I bought to-day Have pouched the bounty and run away, And, what's worse, I've gut the Devil to pay As well as my landlord ; for, hang it, they Have robbed my room at L'Hotel du Ble, And filched your letters, my dear Lord A. Poor fools! I think their wit's past praying for If they fancy the Czar will deem them worth paying for." The rest of the writing was torn away, But I think I may take on myself to say That the bill which has passed a month and a day Has failed to raise us a corps d'armie From our foreign brethren across the way, And we'll have to put up as best we may With our own brave soldiers, and trust that they, Who fight for honour as well as for pay, Will save us yet from the degradation That threatens to fall on our name and nation, If fools and prigs of a lordly station Are allowed to form our Administration, In spite of the country's indignation. THE LAST MOMENTS OF THE COALITIONISTS. (From an Anticipatory and Unpublished History by Alphonse de Lamartine.) * * * THE fatal day was near at hand, for it was already midnight. The commiseration of Gunter had provided a farewell repast, which was set out in one of the Government offices. The disgraced Ministers took their places in rotation. " To-morrow," said they ; and they recruited their strength for this morrow. A chaplain from the Bishop of Oxford awaited in the corridor the conclusion of their supper. He came to administer spiritual consola tion in the absence of his Diocesan, who had discovered a bone in his leg. A Sister of Charity, formerly a needlewoinan, accompanied him to receive the last commissions of Mr. Herbert. After the cheese was removed, and Drs. Bowyer and Phillimore had intoned the non nobii .Domino, they were admitted to the apartment. With the wine, fruit, and flowers, the sedate Aberdeen had per sisted in retaining before him a small barrel of caviar. While gratifying his predilection for this Russian dainty he had smutted his venerable countenance. But he said nothing, and observed less. Wilson stood mechanically brushing his gossamer. The rest dis persed themselves in groups ; some laughed ; some moralised; some, like Charles Wood and Grenville Berkeley, with the gaiety of despair, played at catscradle. The virtuous Gladstone was calculating his salary to the date of his dismissal, when a vase of holy water was tendered him by the chaplain. In his confusion he upset the sacred utensil, and was reproached by Herbert and Newcastle for his inopportune maladroitness. The latter spoke prophetically of the misfortunes of the Crimean army, when deprived of its most zealous protectors. Herbert regretted the minor details of his administration. He had been too indepen dent of the Parcels Delivery Company. His lint and medicines had been discovered at Corfu ; but he consoled himself with the reflection that his jams were double bladdered. If his preserved volauvents were a failure, he was candid enough to admit it. " You should have used the recipe of the Reform Club," said Graham, without reflecting. " How much calumny will it take," said Hayward, who had come to take leave of his friends, " to efface the remembrance of this failure." " Vitriol is required," said Osborne ; " your blacking was not strong enough." "We have, at all events," said Molesworth, " the con solations of philosophy,"—" and of the Mass," added Monsell. Here Sir Benjamin Hall flushed his lachrymal glands, and the torrent of tears carried away his spectacles. Robert Lowe, whose hair had been suddenly turned black by this stroke of calamity, interposed an inquiry. " What shall we be doing this day week, or even to-morrow?" said the Expiree, with an air of speculation. Gladstone, who had hitherto been silent, now appealed to by his friends, joined in the discussion. " Alas !" said he, "we were deceived as to the age in which we were born, and in which we fall victims to popular odium. We are modern clerks when we thought to be antique statesmen ; and we are living in the nineteenth century while we were dreaming of the middle ages. Let us no longer deceive ourselves. Others have been infamous and contented ; but we are iisgraced and miserable. We could please neither friends nor foes, and we have been most odious to each other. We have damaied our reputations while ruining the public. We could neither job undetected nor „govern even our tempers. We could neither preserve peace nor carry on war." A long silence followed this speech, during which Herbert motioned to Frederick Peel for a scissors. It was to cut off a lock of his hair. Keogh, opening his pocket-book, took from it a bill of O'Flaherty's. " Give this to my tailor" said he, " with my parting 85 ( compliments." At this moment a clock was heard striking the hour. At this the Ministers collected for a last embrace. Some conversed in whispers; others wept; others blew their noses. In the midst of this confusion the voice of Gladstone was heard praying to St. Walburga that Disraeli might be inaudible in the gallery. Then a rumbling was heard without like the sound of distant wheels. * * * * * * * One vehicle took them away, and set their bodies down at their respective doors. Some years afterwards a bill was found among the accounts at the Treasury—" To Omnibus for all the Talents, 10s. tid !" This was their last bill, and, strange to say, it was marked " Settled." Oh! bitter derision of fate ! Oh ! memorandum worthy of CEschylus or Shakspeare ! * * * X. INVESTITURE OF THE NEW KNIGHT OF THE GARTER. (FROM A MINISTERIAL PAPER.) IN consequence of the urgency of the present political crisis, and the inconvenience which would have been occasioned by the summoning a Chapter of Knights of the Garter for the investiture of the Right Honourable the Earl of Aberdeen,' it was resolved to hold a " Private Chapel" for that purpoae. This, our readers may be aware, the head of the Order can, by " dispensation," allow, and those who are curious upon the subject may consult the Garter annals for precedents, as also Giraldus Cambrensis, Boanerges, Gustave de Brerg, Planche, Hypochondriacus, Baron Zozimus, and other authorities. An addi tional reason for this special arrangement is understood to have been the fact that, although the Earl of Aberdeen deemed himself entitled toldemand the Garter, and as under all circumstances the fountain of honour, was not advised to reject the claim, it was most desirable to confer the distinction in a way which should not contribute to the object sought by the new Knight, namely, the conveying to the public the impression that the giving the ribbon in this case was more than a formal compliment to an elderly nobleman who had filled and was retiring from certain offices of State. A document entitled a " Private Chapel Garner Warrant Dimis sory " was therefore issued from Windsor, and placed in the hands of the Earl of Aberdeen. Its effect was to permit him, after visiting the ,clerk of the Order, and taking the oaths, to conduct his own investiture at any place and in any form which mig 4 ht be convenient to himself. His Lordship lost no time in tilting the presoribad affidavits, and he then applied by letter to a great number of the Knights of the Order, asking them to attend and assist in the cere mony. By a curious coincidence, they all happened to be engaged on the night selected by the Earl. The Dukes of Norfolk and Somerset were not very well, the Duke of Bedford had arranged to spend the evening with Lord John Russell, the Duke of Devonshire had gone to Chatsworth with Sir Joseph Paxton, the Duke of Buckingham was off to Scotland to shoot, the Marquis of Lansdowne had to join the Duke and Lord John, the Marquis of Salisbury had special business at Hatfield, and Lords Ellesmere, Exeter, Camden, Normanby, De Grey, Abercorn, Spencer, &c., had parties at their own houses. But the perseverance of the Premier is not easily bathed, and he managed to get together three individuals, a number which, according to the rules of the Order, makes a quorum. These were Lord Clarendon, K.G., who could hardly refuse such a favour to his nominal chef; Lord Carlisle, K.G., who is too kind to refuse anything to anybody, and who, moreover, preserved grateful feelings towards Lord Aberdeen for having sent him the Garter to Turkey, to console him for not having office ; and, lastly, Lord Clanricarde, who is not a member of the Order, but who was enchanted :o act as proxy to the Emperor of Russia, who is, and whose written " deputation " had been sent over by the Czar to his friend of forty years standing. The Bishop of Winchester, as Chaplain to the Order, was of course required to attend ; but his Lordship being prevented by his other ecclesiastical occupations from obeying the summons, Mr. Bright volunteered his services. He explained that, so far as a clerical character was required, his own success as a preacher in a Quaker connection fully qualified him for the duty, and that " his admiration for Lord Aberdeen's Russian policy induced him to forget, for once, the contempt in which he held all such fooleries as that about to be perpetrated." The Noble Earl charged himself with the purchase of the Blue Ribbon, which he procured in Tottenham-court-road. Upon exami nation he was found to have bought too short a bit, but this piece of economy was not attended with much inconvenience, one of his Lordship's housemaids ingeniously pinning the end ever his shoulder, so that, while he kept his face to the company, the shortcoming was not manifest. His Lordship's library was fitted up as the private chapel for the occasion. The Emperor of Russia's pennant was the only ornament, except a large bouquet of very fine thistles, indicative of the other national Order of which the Earl is a knight. A playful not or Lord Clarendon, who, on seeing the thistles, said, "Oh ! we have come into the supper-room by mistake," was received with great good humour by the distinguished party. Some little stubbornness on the part of Mr. Bright, who was willing to take off his hat as matter o f . politeness and custom, but insisted on keeping it on during the reli gious ceremony, occasioned a slight delay t but a compromise was A long silence followed this speech, during which _Herbert humour by the distinguished party. some utue BLltuum motioned to Frederick Peel for a scissors. It was to cut off a lock of part of Mr. Bright, who was willing to take off his hat as matter of his . hair. Keogh, opening his pocket-book, took from it a bill of politeness and custom, but insisted on keeping it on du rin g the reli- t) Flaherty's. " 4iro this to my tailor," said he, " with my parting gious ceremony, occasioned a slight delay I but a compromise Wall