The Press. — London, England, 1855-08-25 00:00:00

$lO last jest, I think, is amazingly witty : The Legion at Shornoliffe had. met t'other day In the grounds of an eminent swell from the city To get their new flags ere they went to the fray. And proudly the warriors' bosoms were glowing When a Prince and a soldier, true heart and brave hand, The dearly-prized gift to the corps was bestowing, And speaking proud words of their dear Fatherland. And as Cardigan rode down the line they were cheering The hero whose deeds had aroused them afar ; But whom do they see mid tho horsemen appearing, And playing his part in the pageant of war? Our pleasant old Pammy, who thought 'twould be funny For him to come down to a soldiers' review, And talk patriotic, look genial and sunny, And seem quite in earnest in what he went through. • And see by his side, just to heighten the story, A thing cold and bloodless whose heart never beat At a generous deed or recital of glory, With soul callous alike to success or defeat. And Pam in his sleeve laughed that low, hollow chuckle (We all know in the House how it checks a man's zeal), "'Tie a capital joke such odd comrades to buckle, And see brave men and soldiers consort with Fred: Peel" CABINET SPIRIT-RAPPERS. Tax announcement by the " Wizard of the North " that he intends to fit up the Lyceum Theatre for magic purposes, and especially for spirit-rapping, has, we understand, caused considerable sensation. It is a good deal talked about by the few people left in London, and it was not unnatural that at the Cabinet Council held on —day it should be one of the topics of conversation. When the Council broke up, some of the members suggested that as they had nothing to do, and plenty of time to do it in, it would be good fun to drive down to the theatre and see what sort, of a stock of spirits the Wizard had laid in. Two or three of the party objected on the ground that necro mancy was wicked, but on discussion it was unanimously agreed that they were no conjurors, so there could not be any harm in it, and finally they all came down to the Lyceum. The Wizard received them with great politeness, apologised for the unfinished state of the preparations, and begged to put his infernal resources entirely at their disposal. After some debate, nobody seeming particularly anxious to evoke the spirit of any deceased person, the Wizard relieved their minds by explaining that in his establishment it was not at all necessary that the spirits should be permanently disembodied. They might call on anybody they liked. Lord Palmerston then proposed that they should call Lord John Russell. The Wizard said that there was so very little spirit about that individual that it might be hard to get him ; but, luckily, an odd volume of Blackstone's " Commentaries " was found (it had done duty, in a red cover, as a jewel-case, supposed to contain priceless diamonds, in the Lyceum burlesques), and by dint of reading the Magna Charta chapter very loud, three raps were obtained. The Premier's levity nearly spoilt the experiment, for he irreverently exclaimed that " It couldn't be Johnny, for he wasn't worth a rap," and the Spirit was sulky for a long time, but being at length appeased, some questions were put and answers obtained. Are you happy ? No answer. Are you envious ? An affirmative rap. Can you foretel future events ? • The Spirit rapped in a very arrogant manner, explained by the Wizard to mean that of course he could, and always had been able to do so. _ _ _ _ How long shall we keep office ? Five raps. What's that, years? Spirit very impatient. Sessions ? Spirit nearly frantic. Parliaments ? The row the Spirit now made was perfectly awful, and the Wizard was obliged to suggest "months," at which a thundering affirmative rap was given. Several of the party recommended that the subject should be changed, as it was being disagreeably treated. But the Premier persisted, and demanded of the exhibitor " whether he couldn't make the little humbug speak." The Wizard said no, for that a person must be a decent speaker in the flesh to be heard at all when out of it, but that answers could be obtained on paper, though they were not always comprehensible, even by him. He then cut some slips from the flyleaves of the Blackstone, and laid them on a table against the wall Questions were again put, and the first slip drawn was in answer to a question of the Premier's. " I dont understand it, my lord," said the Wizard, ‘‘ what did you ask ?" . SATURDA' " I asked him what I was." " Some mistake ' • the Spirit has drawn an old pantaloon." There was a great shout at this, in which, to do the Premier justice, hejoined very heartily. The next inquiry was by Mr. Vernon Smith, who begged the spirit to describe him. A stick was found drawn upon the second slip : and, in reply to a similar demand by the Colonial Secre tary, the Wizard exhibited a very good likeness of a guy. " But how comes he to make pictures?" asked Lord Palmerston. " embodied life he could never draw anything, except a muddled Reform Bill now and then." The Magician explained, that, according to the American doc trine, spirits gain additional powers, out of the body ; and that these are usually what they most lack when in it. Upon which the Premier advised the Chancellor of the Exchequer to jump out of his skin, as his shortest cut to some knowledge of arithmetic. While tie latter was considering whether he ought to be offended, and rather carrying the question in the affirmative, Sir Charles Wood said that he had heard that the spirits in America made poetry. " Exactly," said the Wizard; " because scarcely a man in America has an atom of poetry in him. That is the new power. Caii Lord John Russell write poetry ?" The Spirit here interposed, without being spoken to, and rapped very loudly, signifying that he rather thought he could. " Then," said the Wizard, "he will not be able to make a rhyme—that will test his powers. If he rhymes here, he is no poet elsewhere." Lord Palmerston immediately demanded of the Spirit what course he intended to adopt next session. The paper bore as a response— To keep the field against all comers, To quote Lord Grenville, Fox, and Somers, And bother you, in any case, tlntil you take me into place,— Then you'll not know what I'm about, Till I upset you, cout•kick•out. " Yes, that's his patent French—those last three words," shouted the Premier. " But he rhymes. Don Carlos' was not poetry." This remark so enraged the Spirit that be hammered and clat tered until, for the safety of his property, the Wizard was obliged to beg that the offended entity might be either appeased or dis missed. " Ask him if he sees ghosts," said Sir William Molesworth. The Spirit assented. " Ask him how many ghosts of Reform Bills he sees," said the Premier. The Spirit sulky. No answer. Two or three other questions were put, which the Spirit, like the person who writes answers to sham correspondents in the newspaper, " either declined, or was unable to answer, or thought them too frivo lous," when Lord Palmerston tried again. " Ask him what Buol is doing." A strange laugh of ironical triumph followed the speech, and on the paper was written— " Devising a peace which you will accept, and which will throw you all out of office." The Spirit's an ass," said the Premier, losing his temper. us go. Good day, Mr. Anderson." And we can state, upon authority, that the Ministers do not be lieve in Spirit-rapping, and declare that it is all humbug. And, as that is an article which they should understand, probably they are right. " Let I\.. THE PRESS. BALAKLAV A. I think you are not Justified in impugning the bravery of a man who, as both officers and men present iu the battle of 13a!skim' have tebtitied, led two regiments gallantly into action, rallitd them the other side, brought them back again, ac.—Vide Lord it. Payees letter to " Times." We fought beside you, brothers in the battle— Do ye deny us sharers of the crown ? We bore with you the blood and dust and rattle— Is no part ours of all the fair renown ? Soldiers and friends I before yon Russian town Were noble names called twice when bugle sounded ? Soldiers and friends ! were white hands dull and down When, with blades raised, forth to the charge ye bounded? Nay ! nay ! ye nobly cry, ye are not they Who basely make our honours our demerit, And what dear fame we earn fritter away For the mean envy of what we inherit: Wolves—herding ever where one yell hath led ; Camp followers—stripping living men, not dead. A EX "POST" FACTO. At last with office playful Pain Transoceanic Lowe doth grace ; And Morning Post, faithful to flam, Hails one "right man in the right place." L Twixt Post and me," Pam, don't it strike, When all he did for you we scan, And all you promised, it's more like The one " left place for the left man "?