The Press. — London, England, 1855-03-31 00:00:00

MARCH 31, 1855. THE PRESS. AD REMPUBLICAM. O navis, referent in mare to novi Fluetus ! 0 quid agis ? forager oecwpa Po Hum.* Nonne vides, ut Nudum remigio latus? Et malus celeri saucius Africo, Antenna que gemant: ac sine funibvs Vix durare caring Possint imperiosius /Equor? Non tibi aunt integra lintea: Non di, quos iterum pressa voces malo. Quamvis Pontiea pinus, Silvte filia nobilis, Tactee et genus et nomen inutile, Nil picas timidus navita puppibus Fidit. Tu, nisi ventis Debes ludibrium, cave. Nuper sollicitum gum mihi tedium, Nunc desiderium curaque non Levis, Interfusa nitentes Vites /Evora Cycladas ! (A TRANSLATION FROM HORACE.) Once more afloat, 0 good Old Ship ! amid the surge of war ; Whate'er you do, strike bravely on the casemates of the Czar ! Who cries " We're not in battle-trim " ? I'll show him, once for all, The bills we've paid for caulking in the dockyards of Whitehall! What ! croaking at the masthead, and croaking on the yard ; And croaking in the cabin, now the stormy winds blow hard! In such a plight as this, Old Ship, your chance will soon be gone; 0, for the boatswain man enough to lay a rope's-end on! Your stout old sails are splitting all to ribbons (green and blue), Your tough old tars invoke the stars (who've something else to do). Who brags of British "heart of oak," when dry-rot's once got in? Or confidence in " old old Whigs" will value at a pin? What seaman, think ye, cares to trust in hour of storm and wreck The painted puppy " lords " that crowd your Admiralty's deck? Jack hates to get his orders from "a lubber as can't tell A hatchway from a howitzer." I think Jack reasons well. Yet still, God bless thee, brave Old Ship, my fears have always been There'd he a piece of work abroad, when skies were all serene ; In the Baltic and the Euxine you may meet with many a squall That will sorely test their seamanship —those pilots of Whitehall ! Hor. Car. Lib. 1., xiv. • Having submitted the above translation to a certain critical and classical member of the present Government, he has, rather to my consternation, informed me that, among other faults, I have in several instances misapprehended the exact meaning of the Augustan poet. For the benefit of such of my readers whose latinity may be equally delicate with my own, I have had the candour to mark with italics the obscure and, as I still think, doubtful passages in question.—TnassLaron. " WHY THE DEUCE DOES HE THINK AT ALL ? " OUR PREMIER'S ANSWER TO "WHAT IS A PLAIN FELLOW TO THINK?" I've read the plain fellow's lament That he doesn't quite understand What I in the Commons meant And Peel on the hustings planned. If he'll take the advice of a man Whose experience is not small, He'll find it the pleasanter plan • Not to think of such matters at all. ANOTHER DESPATCH FROM THE GREAT PLENIPOTENTIARY. TO THE RIGHT HON. THE VISCOUNT PALMERSTON. Why make such a pother and jaw If Peel with his Chief disagrees, And folks have to change the old saw And call things uNlike as two P.'s At this joke will poor Wood be perplext, His humour you know's but small; But I am running away from my text — Don't think of such matters at all. Plain fellows were puzzled, I trow, And prated of honour and truth A good many years ago, When I sold the old friends of my youth. Credo experto. Give ear To a man who has stifled the call Of conscience for many a year— Such things don't bear thinking at all. VIENNA, March 26. MY DEAR Lonn,—l promised to write to you again as soon as I should have anything to say. We have now held five conferences, and I find it much easier work than I had anticipated. On account of the superior manner in which my friend Baron Bourqueney understands French (although I can read and speak it very well, I do not always comprehend what is said to me in reply), I allow him to be my mouthpiece ; and I find that any observations I may requeat him to make for me are more easily appre ciated by the rest of the Congress than when I delivered them ore proprio. This is, as your Lordship will not fail to remark, one of the beneficent results of the " entente cordiale " between England and France. By the way, old A—n used to say he invented that phrase . I wish he had never invented anything else. Hitherto we have been going on swimmingly, and I have no doubt that in a few days I shall have to apprise your Lordship that I have succeeded in all my objects, and that I have negotiated a glorious and au honourable peace upon terms which will be satisfactory to the country. Perhaps, however, it may be well for you to abstain from announcing this to Parliament until the arrangements are quite complete. I may say, without vanity, and speaking frankly to a private friend, that the selection of myself for Plenipotentiary was a most fortunate choice. Having attended, not only to the practical duties of a statesman, but also to the theory of the Constitution of my country, I am enabled to speak ex cathedra to the other members of the Con gress, while the prestige of the House of Bedford gives me great weight with my colleagues. To this moral force I attribute the mode in which the Congress has submitted to my dictation upon several points connected with the first two articles of consideration. In the first of our protocols the date was omitted, and I instantly refused to listen to another word until that was inserted. It was done without a murmur, and even with an apology for an omission stated t o be accidental. I thought it better tact to accept this excuse. The word. " persons" was also used, and I exacted the alteration of this word. to " individuals," as more in accordance with the amicable spirit of our proceedings, for many people, as your Lordship may be aware, object to he called persons. Again, I strongly remonstrated against the use of blotting-paper for the purpose of drying our minutes (a hint which I must own to have gathered from perusing anecdotes of Talleyrand), and I showed, by signing my name, and then drying it with paper, that any office cleaner or other official could read the words "John Russell" on the blotting-pad. This dangerous practice has been discontinued. I thought it well, for the sake of increasing the impression which was produced by my known adherence to the principles of lib e rty, to introduce, as if casually , a reference to the melancholy event in Lin colns-inn-fields, where my great ancestor, Lord William Russell, fell a victim. But, having explained the circumstances, lam boundthe to say that none of the other members of the Conference expressed sym pathy one would have expected. The Russian and Austrian members seemed to think that Lord Wil liam was served perfectly right, ant As I throw my eyes over the map I'm often inclined to confess I have caused poor fall'n Spain mishap, Got Greece in a deuce of a mess ; I backed up a Portugal Jew To bully that kingdom small For a debt that was never due— Don't let's think of that matter at all. Once Austria I did menace When her star was beginning to pale (Hungary, Lombardy, Venice, Will tell you the bitter tale). But Nicolas lent his aid To perpetuate their thrall. Bah ! don't suppose I was afraid— Why the deuce think about it at all? * * * Plain fellows are mostly weak, And gain neither Power nor Pelf ; In neither morale nor physique Am I a plain fellow myself. But the " party " who has a whim By such title himself to call, What on Earth are my doings to him ? Whq the dance need he think at alit A I