The Press. — London, England, 1856-02-16 00:00:00

THE PRESS. FEBRUARY 16, 1856. For Cambridge staunch Walpole's returned (Mr. Denman most wisely drew back), Colonel (?) Sleigh has for Midhurst been spurned, And Macaulay's succeeded by Black. The Timea, with its venomed abuse, Is pursuing two cavalry lords, Declaring they both played the deuce With the cause which enlisted their swords. Then the Irish Bench is assailed By a spiteful and slanderous elf; And his motion of course has not failed, For the Premier supports it himself. Quoth Pam, " The idea all fudge is That very old fellows must doat ; But I'd like to appoint the next judges, So I'll give Sir John Shelley my vote." Lord Stanley will handle a tax Confined to poor devils of clerks, Mid free this sad load from their backs In spite of the Treasury sharks. I've left nought unsaid in my billet, But occurrences just now are few, However, I've managed to fill it, So now, my dear cousin, adieu! PAM, PATRONAGE, AND PENNEFATHER. (Corrected Report of the Premier's Speech on Thursday night.) LORD PALMERSTON said that a good deal of good indignation had been wasted upon this subject. [Sir John Shelley's motion for giving the Government some patronage by removing the elder Irish judges.] Nobody found fault with anybody, and he thought that the affair might be treated much more good-humouredly. The House surely understood the real object of the motion of his friend the Member for Westmins ter. (Hear, hear). The idea of ill-treating a man because he was old was quite out of the question. (Hear, hear). Some men improved by age. Premiers did, like port, sometimes, though, like old port, they might get too crusty, as the Noble Earl his predecessor had done. (Laughter). There now—that was the spirit in which to discuss the matter, and as he had got the House into good humour, he would say, at once, that he had the utmost respect for Baron Twopennyfather— (shouts of laughter)—well, Pennyfather then—he had actually set too high a value on him, it seemed—only it would be highly convenient if he would get off the bench. As to his being eighty-five years of age, that in itself was nothing; he (Lord Palmerston) did not like very young men. (Hear.) He remembered a capital thing he had heard in some comedy—the Ladies' Club, he believed. A lady proposed a nobleman as member, her husband, unknown to her, listening. "I propose," she said, " Lord Toddles. He's not a boy." " No," murmured the husband, " he's eighty." " But," she continued, "so polished." " I'll polish him," grunted the husband- (Laughter.) That was just Baron Pennefather's case, and he (Lord Palmerston) wanted to polish him,—in fact, to polish him oft (Cheers) It was perfectly true, as Mr. Napier had said, that Go vernment had rather held back from expressing their views upon the subject of the motion, but the silence of some people was more eloquent than the language of others ; and if Government were silent when it was sought to extrude from his court a judge of unblemished character and high intellect, it was, he should have thought, pretty clear what they meant by holding their tongues so obtrusively (Hear, hear.) It was not that they loved Pennefather less, but that they loved patronage more. (Cheers.) Could the House suppose for a single moment that if this had been a question to be taken up in a serious mood, Government would have allowed it to he brought forward by such an absolute Pump—(roars of laughter)—as his Honourable Friend the Member for Westminster? No. But they had no objection to work the pump-handle. (Cheers.) What, in the name of humbug, were the Irish judges to Jack Shelley—(Order, order)—he meant the Honourable Baronet? Were there not a hundred and five Irish members, lots of them lawyers more or less notorious — he meant distinguished—and would it not rather have been the duty of one of these to bring forward a question vitally affecting the interests of Ireland, if it had been felt in Ireland that the question ought to be raised? Instead of that, it is left to Sir John Shelley, of Maresfield, to bring forward the mare's nest. (Laughter.) He hoped that Honourable Gentlemen opposite would see that in allowing such a person to do certain work, Government could have no intention of seriously annoying the Learned Judge. Could a judge feel insulted a t anything from a Shelley ? But a hint might be conveyed in a bit of fun, and he sincerely hoped that the hint which it was now intended to convey would be transmitted to the Learned Judge by some of his friends opposite, whose attach ment to hint did them great credit. His friend the Home Secretary had certainly, in his heart, made a mistake when he inter rupted the Honourable Member for Buckinghamshire by exclaiming that Lord Lyndhurst was not a judge. The Home Secretary was a hasty man, and also a religious man, and, like a good many other reli gious men, he scorned the worldly pride and vanity of triumphing over his own bad temper—(laughter)—and upon this occasion he had been betrayed into a mistake, for which he would be sorry when he 157 read the Times next morning. But even such a ridiculous blunder as that—he would not deny that it was so, although he had a great liking, and indeed love, for his Right Honourable Friend and his party in the Cabinet—(Hear, hear)—but such a blunder showed that the Government had taken up the subject, not on its merits, but on the merits of somebody else whom they wanted to promote. (Chars.) He would say no more, because he felt that he had now put the matter right and had appealed to what he might call the political good feeling of gentlemen opposite. They might themselves one day have friends to reward—of course, it would be his unfortunate duty to retard that day as long as possible—(laughter)—and they would then know the extreme inconvenience occasioned to her Majesty's Government when the occupants of office refused to make room for successors. There was precedent for stimulating a veteran judge to retire when his place was wanted No Irishman would forget how Lord Plunket was shoved out of the Irish Chancellorship by the Whigs, against his declared wish, in order that his place might be held from June to September by John Lord Campbell. What a Piunket had done a Pennefather might do. He should therefore " support the motion upon constitutional grounds." (Hear, hear). SIR BENJAMIN HAVES, K • C • B • What next, and what next? for an answer we pause ! It is come, " Ecce signum "—Sir Benjamin Hawes. Do our senses deceive us ? Can this be a blunder, Of a marvellous age the most marvellous wonder? Colonel Gordon is laden with honour and gold, They have knighted B. Hawes What remains to be told ? Oh, poor K.C.Bs. ! pray take this for your text When you write to your friends—" What next, and what next ? " THE POLITICAL ASTRONOMERS. At a recent soirée given in Paris by M. Leverrier, the magnificent lens just completei for the French Observatory, and for which the late M. Arago obtained a grant of lOo,ooof. from the Chambers, attracted much attention. By this glass, according to the celebrated astronomer, the moon can be seen " as we see Montmartre from the boulevard."—Paris Paper. ON reading the paragraph announcing this optical miracle, his Grace of Argyll, as the representative of British science, sent over to Paris to borrow the instrument. His request being granted, in the true spirit of the Alliance, the lens was carefully mounted on the parapet of the General Post-office, and the several members of the Administra tion whom the Duke condescends to instruct, together with some of their chief supporters in both Houses, were invited to test its powers. Fortunately the evening proved fine, and the atmosphere was so clear that even Sir Cornewall Lewis (who had been studying the revenue-tables in the cab all the way down to St. Martin's-le-Grand) fancied that he almost saw his way. When the apparatus was properly adjusted, some ceremonious altercation fur precedence took place among the company. The con troversy was, however, cut short by the Duke of Argyll, who pushed forward to take the lead and first peep. After gazing for a minute or two, his Grace uttered an exclamation of delight and surprise, declar ing that he saw a star and green ribbon as plain as if he held them in his hand. The omen was so encouraging that Sir B. Hall elbowed his way in front of the lens. With a good deal of perseverance, he managed to see something like a coronet, but complained that it was very small, and looked a long way off. Lord Palmerston goodnaturedly suggested that this might be an effect of perspective, but Sir Benjamin was less than half satisfied. Lord Palmerston, on looking through the tube, began singing that " The young May moon was beaming, love." Mr. Labouchere, turning to an almanack, observed that the sun was then in Capricorn. Lord Panmure added as another piece of information, that the moon was waning, having, in fact, passed the last quarter. Mr. V. Smith, looking into the glass, saw himself. He remarked that he had not expected to find a reflecting telescope, but considered it very pretty. Lord Panmure, when his turn came, said that the moan looked like a Lancaster shell, but, on longer examination, found more resem blance to a box of pills. Admiral Napier saw the Man in the Moon, presenting a strong family likeness to Sir J. Graham, eating humble pie. Lord John Russell detected a number of loose bodies, looking like drafts of Reform Bills, floating in the blank space which Seleno graphers have named the Mare Mortuum. The Noble Lord wept copiously at this unexpected sight of his lost darlings. The Chancellor of the Exchequer pored for many minutes through the glass, and then declared he saw a Treasury balance. Lord Pa merston remarked that, " as usual, it was all moonshine." THE ABRAHAM OF THE NEW REVIEW. Abr'am precocious talent early shows By turning others' verse to wretched prose; But now his youthful faults he would reverse, By changing his own wretched prose for worse. The rump who rode the Chronicle so hard, To kill their new Review, deHired a bard, So asked for Moses's, who said " you flout me, You'll do it easily yourselves without me."