The Press. — London, England, 1855-02-17 00:00:00

THE PRESS. FEBRUARY 17, 1855. one of the grossest outrages upon public feeling that even the Coal tion has yet attempted. The reprehensible system of sending the Solicitor-General on circuit, as Judge of Assize, and which was aban doned many years ago in obedience to an outcry from the Irish Romanists, was about to be attempted in the person of such a Solicitor-General as Mr. WILLIAM Krzooa! The patent, if we are to believe the Chronicle, was actually engrossed, when somebody was kind enough to mention the law of the case to the Irish Government and their "learned" Solicitor-General. As the holder of a place at the pleasure of the Crown must resign his seat in Parliament, and as it is no trifling exploit to face on the hustings the priests of Athlone, if their place-hunger has not been appeased, the Connaught bar have been spared the honour of being presided over by Mr. KEOGH. DISMAL RECOLLECTIONS OF A REFORM CLUB BANQUET. BY A (IF NOT THE) PRINCIPAL PERFORMER. When we were all a drinking, a drinking, a drinking, Our courage rose so rapidly we would not think of fear; And in our tipsy brawls, With noisy cheers and calls, We laughed to scorn stone walls, And bragged of our Napier; And wildly wont on drinking, and drinking, and drinking, And making many a ribald joke and many a wicked jeer. We talked of " Charley" sinking, a sinking, a sinking, The enemy's best battle-ships if they should dare appear. All decency we waived, We ranted and we raved, And sadly misbehaved — You know we did, Napier. But now where's all your sinking, and sinking, and sinking ? That you've sunk our reputations all I think is pretty clear. The nation, sadly thinking, a thinking, a thinking, Rebuked my tipsy ribaldry and Graham's factious sneer; In vain I tried to chaff, I could not raise a laugh— I'll never go and quaff With you again, Napier. For indeed myself I'm thinking, a thinking, a thinking, When I talked such vulgar trash I must have been a little queer. And now you've been a shrinking, a shrinking, a shrinking (I will not use a stronger word, or even hint of fear). But it was a sorry sight To see you shrink from fight, With your fleet of giant might; And people over here Grew angry at your shrinking, a shrinking, a shrinking, And pronounced Reform Club admirals the very smallest beer. THE GREAT PLENIPOTENTIARY. sm. "—A handsome apartment at the Errhersog Carl, Vienna. PRESENT.—The Great Plenipotentiary and Mr. Hammond. PLENIPO.: Time to be off, Mr. Hammond" Mr. HAMMOND: About, my Lord. I see the carriage at the door. PLENIPO.: By the way, I have no small coin. Do you happen to have any sausages in your pocket that you can spare? Mr. HAMMOND (bewildered—then recollecting): Zwanzigers—yes, certainly. PLENIPO.: I meant that, of course ; but the name always escapes me. Thank you. Now, then, let us go. Stay, let me be quite sure that I know my words. (Looks at a card.) Charmy de fair vote connassance. Jespare ker vous vous porty mew Bien obleegy. ll fay tray fwor. Slar var Wie- I made all those out What do you say to that Mr. HAMMOND: Thi made on leaving home—) . takeable accents. PLENIPO.: Ha! ha. SCENE IL—Apartment PszsEnx.—The Plenipotentiaries PLENIPO. (very politely ' Messieurs et Milords connassance. Mercy, noble, set chambre, n'o AUSTRIAN MINISTE Lord Russell, that, in , Government you represe: for yourself, we have cor self—of conducting our understanding that if speaker who is misap] that this arrangement PLEN IPO. : Lingua _ Ad eam rem. I gratefull. I say, you don't detect cession? No ?—(aloud) aliment. 161 AUSTRIAN MINISTER: We assume that the respective ratifications of credentials have been duly exchanged. The secretaries charge themselves with that responsibility. PLENIPO.: Etiam. Ad rem. Pergamus. AUSTRIAN MINISTER: It appears to me—l commit no other person by what I am about to say—that the initiative, or substructure of all negotiations should represent a basis not afterwards to be recon sidered except in the event of the solution of the relations originally devised, and in the cultivation of which the congressional idea is developed. PLICNIPO. (aside to Mr. H.): He talks very like Gladstone. How do you understand that proposition ? Non intelligo. Mr. HAMMOND: That we should settle what it is we've come to talk about. PLENIPO.: Very right, too. Maxime et libenter. FRENCH PLENTPO.: On the part of my own Government I am willing to accept that proposition, reserving to myself, of course, the power of modifying it by such qualifications as subsequenteventualities may dictate or resulting emergencies demand. PLENIPO. (to Mr. H. What does that mean ? Mr. HAXMOND : Nothing. _ _ RUSSIAN PLENIPO.: The Emperor, my master, who has ever dis played the most earnest desire to arrive at a good understanding with the other Powers of Europe, will certainly not refuse assent to the proposition of Austria, coupled, of course, with the qualification im posed by France, and, on his own part, with the understanding that preliminaries are always open to be rescinded and rearranged. PLENIPO.: Stop—l must speak. As to that statement, that the Emperor of Russia has displayed— Ma. HAMMOND (aside, earnestly): It means nothing. Don't go on. RUSSIAN PLENIPO. (severely): Loqui ignorabit, qui tacere nescit. PLENIPO. (smartly retorting): Audi (pea ad to pertinent. AUSTRIAN MINISTER: Up to this point, then, we have proceeded with a harmony which augurs well for our future discussions. PLENIPO.: Future discussions ! Let us settle everything at once. If we all understand one another there can be no difficulty, and if wo don't its time we did. Eh, Hammond ? AUSTRIAN MINISTER : Without challenging the accuracy of the assertion on the part of England. I submit that my departure from the ordinary formalities of negotiation would, at a crisis like the present — RUSSIAN PLENIPO: I would suggest the withdrawal of the word crisis, as I am unprepared to admit that there is one in existence. The relations of certain Powers are temporarily in an abnormal state, which I will even admit to be—comparatively—undesirable. AUSTRIAN MINISTER : At a period like this, then, I could say that departure from the ordinary course might tend to originate strictures which hereafter might take the more definite form of objections. FRENCH PLENIPO.: On this point the balance of argument some what inclines me to attach more weight to the views of England than to those of the other Powers, for although it cannot be denied that the adherence to formalities is a sound guarantee for definite arrangements, it is equally indisputable that there are occasions when a larger policy prescribes the elimination of restrictions. AUSTRIAN MINISTER: I admit this without hesitation or reserve but the consequent inquiry is, whether this is one of the occasions in question. FRENCH PLENIPO.: That lam not instructed to assert. (They bow and smile, and exchange snu f f-boxes.) AUSTRIAN MINSTER: Practically, therefore, the insular view is, for the moment, isolated from that of the three continental Powers. We are prepared, of course, to accept in the most friendly spirit any other interpretation of that view which may approximate it to our own. PLENIPO. (aside): Where have we got to, eh, Hammond. Mr. HAMMOND: Nowhere. if I might suggest a remark on the advantage of concord—it means nothing. PLENIPO.: All right. Bona est concordia et prevalebit. And now to recur to what I was saying. RUSSIAN PLENIPO. (aside): Qu'il est elite* cet Lord. PLENIPO. (rues for a speech): You may be aware, Messieurs, that in the country I have the honour to represent--- connassance. Jespare ker vous vous porty mew. Bien obleegy. Il in the country I have the honour to represent--- fay tray fwor. Slar var sandear. Wee, je sweeze enchanty avec Wien. RUSSIAN Pump°. : Pardon me, my Lord, but you represent a I made all those out for myself, Hammond, pronunciation and all. Sovereign. I could not commit myself, as the representative of my What do you say to that? master, the Emperor, to sit down with any country. Mr. HAMMOND: That your Lordship fully carries out the promise PLENIPo.: I will change the phrase, without reply to the objec- made on leaving home—namely, that England should speak in unmis- tion. (Aside.) That was deuced diplomatic in me, eh, Mr. Hammond? . takeable accents. Messieurs, in England, in the year 1215, the then Sovereign, King PLENIPo.: Ha! ha! You're a wag. Come along. John, granted to the nation a document called Magna Charta. SCENE IL—Apartment at the howls of the Austrian Foreign Minister. Since then— PazsENT.—The Plenipotentiaries of the Continental Powers. Enter to them the English AUSTRIAN MINISTER : lam deeply grieved to interpose, but if any Plenipo. and Mr. Hammond. argument is to be based upon the document in question, its produc- PLENIPO. (very politely) : Bong swor. Commong vous porty vous, tion i s e s sential to further p roceedin g . (Assent f rom the others.) Messieurs et Milords ? Tray bein, jespare. Charmy de fair vote PLENIPO.: Hammond, you don't happen to have such a thing as connassance. Mercy, Monsieur. Je ne you disturberai pas. Kill a Magna Charta about you, do you? noble, set chambre, n'est il, mon cher Hammond ? Mr. HAMMOND: I fear not, my Lord. (Searches his pockets.) AUSTRIAN MINISTER: I have the honour to acquaint you, my dear PLENIPo.: I know I haven't. I have got nothing but those Lord Russell, that, in token of the esteem in which we all hold the sausages—swansfigures, I mean. Government you represent, and as a special mark of personal regard RUSSIAN PLENIPO.: Permit me, in proof of the spirit in which I for yourself, we have come to the determination—if agreeable to your- am ordered to attend these negotiations, to suggest a means for over- self—of conducting our discussions in the English language, with the coming this obstacle. Might not a courier be at once despatched to understanding that if at any time a misunderstanding arises the London for a verified copy of this document. speaker who is misapprehended shall employ Latin. May we hope that this arrangement will meet with your Lordship's approval? PLENIPo.: But that will 'take a week. Minima. I with draw m y PLENIPo.: Lingua Latina videtur sane valde propria et commoda reference to the Charter. Ad cam rem. I gratefully accept the compliment and—(aside to Mr. H.) AUSTRIAN MINISTER: I say, you don't detect any trap in this, do you? It involves no con- FRENCH PLENIPo.: J L We protest ! cession? No ?—(aloud). As I said, I gratefully accept the cow- RUSSIAN PLENIPO.: aliment. AusTRIAN MINISTER: Once introduced into the discussion, it would i