The Press. — London, England, 1855-11-10 00:00:00

THE PRESS. NOVEMBER 10, 1855• From the gradual return of the Baltic fleet to the home ports we may infer that the King of SWEDEN has not yet conceded the point of allowing a strong squadron to winter in a Swedish port. The visit of General CANBOBERT to Stockholm may possibly influence the King in his decision. His Majesty of Stockholm, we think, will first prefcr a more effective " destruction of Sweaborg" than that which took place last summer before he so irretrievably commits himself. THE SOUTHWARK ADMIRAL. Ata--"The Arethuea." Come all you seamen bold and free, Landlubbers, too, give ear to me, I'm a rough old British Tar, d'ye see. And my name is Charlie Napier. I'm as good a sailor and as brave As ever sailed on the stormy wave, And tho' Graham sneers, And the Public jeers, Because I've lately shunned the fire, I've made the Scovell fleet retire From swaggering Charlie Napier. 'Twas last spring twelvemonth I set out The Baltic sea to cruise about — Lord ! how the Whigs did cheer and shout For " Reform-Club Admiral" Napier ! I bragged, and I fumed, and I made a noise, And signalled, " Sharpen your broadswords, boys, For the foe when we meet I'll almost eat; " And the Russian laughed, for he knew 'twas stuff, And that Ready I'm not, though I'm devilish Rough, In spite of the motto* of the Napiers. Cronstadt and Revel and Sweaborg all, The English public thought must fall, For what the deuce is a strong stone wall Opposed to Admiral Napier ? But, somehow or other, those towns stand still, And I very much opine they will, For 'twill come to pass That dear old Dundas Will keep his ships from the fire as far, And be altogether as " safe" a tar, As blustering Charlie Napier. But to capture Southwark I'll hardly fail, From its walls at least I'll not turn my tail, But steer boldly in with a press of sail, As sure as I'm Charlie Napier. Ay, here I'll safely hoist my flag, And boast, and storm, and swear, and brag, And sing my own praise In various ways, And tell how I spurned the G.C.8., For these Borough Radicals love, d'ye see, A " swell" like old Charlie Napier. 1073 procure a map, and with the assistance of one of the little Vernons (not Smiths) he found out, in less than au hour, more than twenty of our Colonial possessions, whose names he wrote on a card. Thus crammed, he i marched off to Lord Palmerston, and artfully en deavoured to impress that Nobleman with the extent of his knowledge, by rattling out the names in an off-hand way, in the hope that the Premier would say " Upon my soul, Smith, you'd better take the place yourself—you know all about the work, eh?" But instead of that, Lord Palmerston, in a very designing manner, asked Mr. Smith how far it was from Van Diemen's Land to Tasmania, and the ether having affected much consideration, and then said that he thought about a thousand miles, the Viscount broke out into a very rude fit of laughter, and asked his friend how far it was from Mauritius to the Isle of France. Smith then perceived that he was sold, and went off in great wrath. Sir George Grey wrote a sulky kind of note, saying that he did n't want the Colonies, and would not take them if offered him, but that it was due to his position that the offer should be made, and he had a good mind to resign ; but up to last night he had not carried this threat into execution. Lord John Russell also wrote, saying that, whatever might be his views about the war, there was nothing unconstitutional iu a Minister accepting office, leaving war an open question, and he proposed to take the Colonies, reserving to himself the right to surrender any of them to Russia, in the event of his clearly seeing that such course was in accordance with the dictates of Providence. The Duke of Somerset sent a message by his valet, to the effect that he thought the place ought to be offered to his Grace, but this proposition was not received with much favour, and Lord Palmerston sent his affectionate compliments, reminding the Duke that one of the chief towns in Canada was called Hamilton. The man, however, was afraid to carry such a message, so Lord Palmerston good-naturedly wrote it in a note, which the servant thought it safer not to deliver. These were among the more distinguished applicants ; but there have been numerous others. Lord Torrington is understood to have considered that his Ceylon successes entitled his talents to a larger sphere for their development ; and Mr. Cobden offered to take the place, if the Government would undertake to secure him a seat at the next election. Mr. William Williams thought he could effect several important savings if he were made Colonial Secretary, especially instancing that he would use thinner and cheaper envelopes for the despatches, that he would write these on both sides the paper, and would either employ wafers instead of sealing-wax, or a coarser and less expensive wax, instead of the dear and costly article now used. Mr. Miall wrote to say that nothing had been done for the Dissenters last session, and that it would please that body if he, who had been Sir William Molesworth's antagonist, were made his successor; but Lord Palmerston answered, that it was necessary that even a Colonial Secretary should be able to acquit himself in the House with some thing like credit. Both the Phillimores applied, with long Latin quotations, the Doctor from Aulus Gellius, and R. J. from Cornelius Nepos, and each adding in a postscript a request that the Noble Lord would be particular in not directing his reply to the other Phillimore, who, indeed, was quite unfit for such an office, though well enough in his way. Sergeant Shee sent across from Ireland, saying that he should consider it a personal insult if the place were given to Bob Lowe, and not to him, for that he was not a worse speaker than Robert, and his hair was a great deal more elegant than that of the Australian Demosthenes. Finally, the persecuted Minister was visited by Mr. Muntz (with a thick stick), who stated his views and con victions in a style of acme concentration, remarking that " he would be hanged if he cared whether they gave him the confounded place or not; but if they did he would let some people know what o'clock it was, and be D to them." When the reporter came away, the Premier was in a high state of exasperation, asserting, with some bitterness, that the party must be a queer one that could not furnish a man to serve his Sovereign at such a contingency. Most people will agree with the Noble Viscount. 4 • • " Ready! aye, Ready!" is the proud motto of the House of Napier, and nobly have all the 111LITARY members of the family acted up to IL CANDIDATES FOR " THE COLONIES." LORD PALMERSTON continues to be overwhelmed with applications for the vacant Colonial Secretaryship, and his Lordship has been com pelled to have a form of refusal lithographed, in order to save the time of his secretary. Some persons claim the situation on the ground that they have visited the Colonies and understand their wants, others on the strength of the opposite allegation that they know nothing about the Colonies, and therefore will not be biassed by local prejudices. The Duke of Newcastle, hearing by telegraph that there was an inten tion of offering the place to him, immediately started for Circassia, with the idea that this was one of our Colonies, but finding himself undeceived, and still desirous of acquitting himself like a Statesman, he set about trying to negotiate a treaty for the free export, from that country, of the Cream for which it is celebrated. His Grace is also exerting himself to put down the traffic in Fair Circassians, but has been much discouraged by an onslaught made upon him by some of those ladies themselves, who hold very unenlightened views on the subject. But Mr. Vernon Smith was not idle, for he hastened to A BIT OF SIR JAMES'S SPITE Sir Charles Napier declared that he was for giving the voter the protection of the ballot—Tisses. He's quite consistent, I must say, And has not turned his coat; He'd throw the ball in secrecy, And thus record his vote. For in the Baltic Charley threw So secretly each ball, Some people think ('twixt me and you) That none were thrown at all. N-y. J-5 G--M. THE PANMURE CONUNDRUM. To CORRESPONDENTEL — Various answers have been received to the conundrum in our last, " Why was the G.C.B. yiven to Lord Pan snare !" but none of them appear to be satisfactory. The D—e of A—'s is the best, " Because he will receive orders from any body; " but there is also merit in R. B. aa., who writes, " That he might wear it on Guy Fox Maule Day." Others of the replies are very silly, especially H. D—'s, who says, " Because he stopped in town while all the others were out shooting." The riddle in clearly unanswerable, and nobody will ever know why the decoration was given. I