The Press. — London, England, 1856-11-22 00:00:00

THE PRESS. NOVEMBER 22, 1856. HUSTINGS ELOQUENCE. These Radical folks are so fond of their jokes, One really thought that it must be a hoax When one heard that at Southwark poor Apsley Pellatt And old Charlie (on whom they've bestowed a new hat, Not before it was wanted, you'd think he had sat On his old one, it looked so crushed, seedy, and flat) Were invited to give an account of their Stewardship ; And Charlie, who loves to dilate on each new hardship, Floundered away Like a porpoise at play, Telling th' electors That seventeen Hectors Couldn't hold half his daring. Then he fell a swearing ; His ships were ill-manned With sad lubber from land ; No gunboats he'd got, Or he'd soon sent to pot The Grand Duke Constantine And his ships of the line. As it - was, the', he thought it a piece of good luck That the Duke, like himself, was deficient in " pluck," For if he'd come out There could be no doubt (I think Charlie here was a little bit quizzing us) He'd have sunk all our ships and ta'en all their crews prisoners. With some harsh words of Graham (A-id I cannot unsay 'em), While Sir Robert Peel, too, Got of pet names a few, Which I think cn the whole were remarkably true, Our Charlie down sat And put on his new hat, While the good Southwark folks called for Apsley Pellatt. Your ears I'll not vex With his prate of " crossed cheques," For his h's misplaced your poor brains would perplex; But I think you'll agree Very likely with me Two duller old " parties " you don't often see Than this Apsley Pellatt and his fellow M P. And except in " the Borough " you don't often find Electors to honour so stupidly blind, That their favorite member's a sailor who'll tell us That our English Jack Tars are a vile set of fellows, Aud piously thank his good luck and kind stars He escaped an engagement with men like the Czars ! \Vho'd have scattered us quite If we dared to show fight, Which we shouldn't have done, but have taken to flight. Oh, I wonder St. Paul's Doesn't shake to its walls. And Nelson and Collingwood rise in their palls, When here above ground An Admiral's found Such white-livered treason as this to expound ; While the cheers of an audience of Britons resound In praisa of their hero who's only renowned For blustering speeches, And wearing loose breeches, And keeping his ships where no cannon-ball reaches. But these good folks at Southwark are not much more dull Than their Radical brothers at S'thampton or Hull, Who invite Edwin James To establish his claims, And listen while he his perfection proclaims, And blows his own trumpet, which they take for Fame's. But little they think that this embryo judge Has been talking what Goldsmith denominates " fudge; " That at Brookes 's he sneers at Hull shippers as low born, And to Hampshire's gone down to succeed his friend Cockburn. Then at Sheffield our Roebuck is having 116 fling At the Church, Crown, and people, and everything; Contradicting poor Hadfield, who dared to make mention Of his colleague's own topic of non-intervention, And declaring that he (Mr. Roebuck, Q C.) Is the only authority, all will agree, Who's empowered to say when a war's wrong or just, And when he says a thing shall be, d---e it must. When you wearily wade Through the speeches they've made, Hadfield and Roebuck, and James and Napier, One thing will appear unmistakeably clear, That our Radical statesmen, however they bounce (On the hustings) and loudly our rulers denounce, They never will vote 'gainst the Government's wishes So lon g as that Government sells loaves and fishes. TO BIG BEN OF WESTMINSTER. Big Ben ! of such a child as thee Well may thy Godfather be proud; Thou art as like him as can be, As brazen, empty, hard, and loud ! 1117 THE PREMIER'S GREETING TO THE PRESIDENT. [The following despatch goes out by the mails for America this evening.] [Privaie.] MY DEAR MR. BUCHANAN, Allow me to take the very first opportunity of congratulating you upon your election to the office of President of the United States. In doing so, I adhere to my usual custom of being very early with my felicitations to any potentate whose position appears to be a good one, —a readiness which (as in the case of a neighbouring Emperor) some persons think a little over-zealous, but which I consider to be the duty of a statesman. There are peculiar reasons, my dear Mr. Buchanan, why your Government and my own should be upon the best terms compatible with the attitudes we both think it desirable to maintain before the world. Your own proclaimed views, and mine, as to the duties of a Libe ral Administration, are so singularly in harmony, that though it is scarcely possible that, if carried out, they should not produce a col lision between the nations we direct, they ought to inspire us with a large measure of regard foe each other. The doctrines you avowed at Ostend (by the way, I should like to know whether you get such oysters in New York ; your travellers, of course, say so, but I want to have the fact), although shaped in a somewhat less formal and conventional manner than could have been wished, are those which I consider to be the basis of international security,--namely, that if a weak power wants justice, she is not to have it, as a punishment to her for being weak ; and that if a strong power wants territory, she is to have it, as a reward to her for being strong. People would call me profane if I quoted the parable of the Talents, and I suppose you never heard of it , but if you keep a chap lain, ask him to " post you up" in it. I insist upon this the more strongly, as I always look at things in a religious point of view. But there is more between us. Of course I know that you will try to give us some trouble, and I promise to return the compliment ; but it. will be done on both sides in what Sheridan (he wrote the School for Scandal) called " the spirit of politics," and therefore no personal offence can arise. If foolish people insist on taking things in earnest, bad blood is generated, journalists fan the flame, and war breaks out, it will surely not be our fault that they are blunderers, who do not understand the cont.:ot/tees of diplomacy. You did your best to get us into a row the other day, but I felt that you were only doing it to help your canvassers, and I hope I showed myself too much of a gentleman to baulk you. But again, as the preachers say. In order to make things pleasant, we are told that we need not be really afraid of you, for that fiery declarations made to influence an election, and literal fulfilment of promises when an election is over, are two things, and that nobody knows this better than James Buchanan. There is one person who knows it as well, my dear President, and. that is Henry John Viscount Palmerston. When that last named-person was making his arrangements for coming into office, he held his own tongue with almost as much caution as you did ; but then his adherents and supporters had their instructions. There was not a nationality that was not to be restored, not a haughty foe that was not to be humbled, not a sea on which the flag of England was not to float gloriously, if that modern Cromwell, your very obedient, humble servant, were placed at the head of affair=. Well, he tra.t. And have I been so very dreadful to mankind at large? What does Spain think—Spain, the very weakest earthly power? She sends me at this moment, as Ambassador, the most contemptible politician she can possibly pick out. Do you think I misunderstand the hint? But I need not enlarge to a vigilant observer like yourself as to my fulfilment of my engagements. There are some other parallels between us. You are pledged to the extension of slavery. Well, I have my views, which it might be inexpedient to promulgate too largely, as to the desirability of making additional purchases of white slaves. They are not quite such jovial articles as your blacks, and when they show their teeth it is rather in savageness than in fun, but they do their work, and answer to the " whip." I admit they have a brogue, but I am almoqt reconciled to it. My overseer, the excellent Hayter, is a good judgip of them, and gets their work out of them. You are opposed to the extension of the power and increase of the glory of England. My dear Mr. Buchanan, people say that, to judge by my actions, so am I. Agreed as we are, my dear President. upon the general duty of a statesman to humbug his friends and pester his neighbours, I do not anticipate any great difficulty in our• dealings. I hardly know whom to send out to you as our representative, and I should be glad of your ideas on the subject. Would you like a Lord ? I have put nearly as many into my Cabinet as is quite safe, and the next place must be given to an outsider•. If there is any " remnant of nobility to be had a bargain," whom you would like, mention him. I thought of sending you young Dunkellin, Clanricarde's eon. We shall have him home trom India one of these days, and I should think he would be just the man to get us into an unpleasantness with your decorous people. But I dare say I can find somebody of more weight, and more certain to be disagreeable. Would you like Monteagle ? He would go anywhere where he might talk. I should like to hear from you, as soon as you have done shaking hands wah your constituents, and can look round you. If you and I manage well, our respective consulships will be remembered in history —yours, by-the-bye (from your perpetual allusions to the planks of your " platform "), will be referred to as Consule Planco.— Believe me, my dear President, Your faithful admirer, London, Friday, Nov. 21, 1856. PALMERSTON. 111