The Press. — London, England, 1856-01-19 00:00:00

COUNCIL. ;NT. 61 • • --- • JANUARY 19, 1856. THE CABINET COUN A FRAGMENT. FOUND NEAR TIIE RESIDENCE OF THE RIGHT HON. The clock strikes two from old St. Paul's, St. chime, St. Margaret's repeats the knell that tolls the fl 4 The sentinel in Downing-street is waiting the re The Cabinet are thronging to the summons of Attend all ye who list to hoar the muster-roll of 1 Who feel the magic influence of each great Whig The sons of sires who won their rights from the Took bribes from Bourbon Sovereigns, and did s Now gather round a leader who but jeers their cl And scorns the supple oligarchs he merely deign First, Bowood's noble master, in blue coat and y( (He ever wears the decent garb in which Charles Next comes the Chieftain of the Clan that's "eve Pert young M'Cullum More, less famed for mod( Follows Fox Maule—and Lansdowne laughs ai makes, " By Jove ! no wonder Scotland's called by Burn Granville, and Grey, and Labouchere, now near 1 And Vernon Smith, with silly smile upon his pre And Mr. Baines, who envies Smith his noble Chr So tags on Talbot to his own, that it may look th Ho, burgesses of England ! ho, men of ten-pound Are these the men for whom ye roar with wide di Are these the sages meet to choose if War shall What ! is our Britain to be saved like Rome by c Up, nor be sleeping at your posts, ye Commons ( Arouse ye Peers, nor trust our fate to such a witl From Cornwall's murky mines of tin to the grey From Glasgow's tippling citizens to the mild me Let the whole land be stirring now, and let our v " Peace if we may with Honour, else War and Vi, NO ENVOY TO PART "IT is right that I should mention," said the Cabinet Council, " that the propriety and advanti a member of her Majesty's Government in Paris du of this Council of War have been suggested to m than one." " To be ready to give information, and possil said Lord Clarendon. " Very sensible. But could. go ? " That consideration made mo reject the Palmerston. " As to that," said Sir Charles Wood, " I coul " Not more easily than we could spare you, I the Premier, laughing. " But what good would y , " If this is to be a naval campaign on the p turned Sir Charles, " the head of the Admiralty n to say in the matter." " Without unduly deprecating the value of E cari capitis—Charley, replied his Chief ; "it won' be laughed at. Panmure might, and ought to ha but for an unlucky word of four letters that keeps " Gout?" asked Lord Granville. " Kars," replied Lord Palmerston. " Yes," said the War Secretary, placidly, disagreeable to have that Arminian place flung in " Armenian, Pan," said the Premier, " not Ar be sure, its defence showed the efficacy of good IN " How can you ?" said Sir George Grey, deli] " Why did not Granville go?" asked the Colo speaks French like a native." " For that very reason," said Lord Palmerstoi many questions asked which it might be inconvel out reflection, and Granville would not be believe Johnny Russell used to do, "May, mosieu, je ne c meat.' " The same objection would apply to me," sai " That—and some others," replied the Prem pretended, not real, opacity that ono wants in an " Thank you," said the Colonial Secretary. " Pooh, pooh, don't look angry," returned h much too clever a man to be afraid of a joke. Why to take the Colonies, the best joke of our whole ca " I trust the Colonies will not find it ajoke," Labouchere. " I'm afraid they won't," said the Premier, rat than is his wont; " but sufficient for the day is tl we say in Scotland." " Why did you not suggest my going over? " of the Board of Control, trimming his finger-nail: strument. " Because the Frenchmen would have called y Vernon, and I would not willingly expose a m about his name to so barbarous an outrage." " India may be attacked next year, said 119 drawing on his white glove. " By that time you will be more at home in Exercises, and able to defend it," said Lord Palm I can't afford to spare so invaluable a colleague." " You flatter me," said the pleased Controller. "By Jove, do I?" returned the Premier. " salutary. I never bought such good perfumery until you told me what shop to go to." THE PRESS. RIGHT 110 N. T. B. M----y. .Ul ' B, St. Dunstan hears the the flight of time ; ig the relief, )ns of their Chief. Toll of fame, great Whiggish name. from the weak Stuart Kings, and did some dirty things, their clannish views, iy deigns to use. A and yellow vest a Charles Fox was drest); that's " ever fair and fau'se"; for modesty than sauce, ,ughs as Pam this new joke by Burns the Land of Cakes." )w near the trysting-place, his pretty face; )ble Christian name, look the same. n-pound votes ! wide distended throats ? ar shall reign or Peace ? Rome by cackling geese? )mmons of the land, tch a witless band ! 'ie grey towers of York, mild men of Cork, let our watchword be, and Victory ! " PARIS. id the Premier, at a recent advantage of the presence of . Paris during the deliberations ited to me from more quarters td possibly advice, if needed," But who is there that leet the idea," replied Lord " I could go, easily." pare you, my dear fellow," said would you be the part of England," re iniralty might have something tue of Bo dear a head—tam "it won't do. We must not Aght to have gone, and would, that keeps him away. ;tart' ,placidly, "it would bo very disagreeable to have that Arminian place flung in one's face." " Armenian, Pan," said the Premier, " not Arminian. Though, to be sure, its defence showed the efficacy of good Works." " How can you ?" said Sir George Grey, deprecatingly. " Why did not Granville go?" asked the Colonial Secretary. "He speaks French like a native." " For that very reason," said Lord Palmerston. " There might be - many questions asked which it might be inconvenient to answer with out reflection, and Granville would not be believed if ho replied, as Johnny Russell used to do, "May, mosieu, je ne comprong par total!. them." " The same objection would apply to me," said Mr. Labouchere. " That—and some others," replied the Premier, smiling. "It is pretended, not real, opacity that ono wants in an envoy." " Thank you," said the Colonial Secretary. " Pooh, pooh, don't look angry," returned his Chief. " You are much too clever a man to be afraid of a joke. Why, you were n. )t. afraid to take the Colonies, the best joke of our whole career." " I trust the Colonies will not find it ajoke," said the implacable Labouchere. " I'm afraid they won't," said the Premier, rather more earnestly than is his wont; " but sufficient for the day is the deevil thereof, as We say in Scotland." " Why did you not suggest my going over? " asked the President of the Board of Control, trimming his finger-nails with an ivory in strument. " Because the Frenchmen would have called you' Smeet,' my dear Vernon, and I would not willingly expose a man who is particular about his name to so barbarous an outrage." " India may be attacked next year," said Mr. Smith, languidly drawing on his white glove. " By that time you will be more at home in your Indian Sceptre Exercises, and able to defend it," said Lord Palmerston. '• Meantime I can't afford to spare so invaluable a colleague." " You flatter me," said the pleased Controller. "By Jove, do I?" returned the Premier. " Your advice is most salutary. I never bought such good perfumery and tooth-brushes, uutil you told me what shop to go to." "Frederick Peel might have been sent to Paris," said Lord Pan inure. " Kars could not have hurt the pachydermatous Fred." " Couldn't send a clerk, my dear fellow," replied Lord Granville. " Else, I agree with you, he would not have felt the sore place. On the contrary, he would have looked up arguments to prove that Kars ought to have been sacrificed, that it was not worth keeping, that the black basalt of the houses made them unwholesome, that the river Arpa was dirty and spread malaria, and that in his eminently military opinion the conquest of the town was a loss to Russia." " There is nobody else, you see," said Lord Palmerston, "whom one could, with any decency, select. Argyll was good enough to say that he would go and set the Council right, but only on condition that he had a seat and a vote, which they could hardly accord to a civilian, even though he wore the red coat of a postman." " 1 said I would wear the uniform of Vice-Sheriff of Argyllshira," said the Duke, angrily. " I fear even that splendid array would not dazzle the soldiers in Council. Remember what they are in the habit of seeing." " But his oratory vi mild," said Lord Panmure, mischievously. " rant pia," replied the Premier. "On the eve of a campaign men should see clearly. On the whole, I preferred to kuep him at his letter-box." "I think you were tight," said the President of the Board of Trade, sententiously. " 'Praise from Sir Philip Stanley, of Alderloy ' and so forth," quoted Lord Palmerston, laughing. " Perhaps you would have liked to go yourself?" "What for?" "For the same reason that brought you into office." " And what w " I really don't know," said tho Premier, " and I never could find anybody to tell me. But there's one riddle that may probably occur to you all, and that is, why, at such a momentous crisis, I did not run over myself, and discuss what will be about the most important cain over myself, and discuss what will be about the most important cam paign ever projected." " Yes," said several voices, " why did you not ?" " Do you give it up ?" "Yes, yes." " Because I didn't choose." " Connu," said Lord Granville, and the Council broke up. WHAT CAN IT BE ? Lord Palmerston rose to respond fur the bridesmaids, lie said, "On the part of the brides. maids, whose champion I am, I beg to return you their thanks ; I am deprived of oue qualification which I think all ought to possess who are called upon to perform my duty."—Vide Morning Post, 16th," Marriage of Sir Robert Peel." The " Comic Old Gentleman" 's fain to confess That one qualification he doesn't possess Which belongs to the champion of beauty ; What this sine qud non is he will not avow, The absence of which, he is forced to allow, Interferes with his delicate duty. Is it youth ? Oh ! dear no—our Premier's not old— For the years in a very short time may be told Which from childhood—the second—divide him ; While all that which, by right, should distinguish old age, As the well-govern'd tongue, the clear brain of the sage, He has not ; or the world has belied him. What, then, can this thing be, for whose single lack Pam would bring the old ages of chivalry back, Outsoaring the whole knightly tot of 'em? In our private opinion there's rather a doubt If it's only one virtue his Lordship's without— We fancy he wants the whole lot of 'em ! WHIG " ANA " AND TABLE-TALK. LORD JOHN RUSSELL, dining yesterday at the Marquis of Lansdowne's, complained that Macaulay had been too severe on the Russell who commanded the Channel fleet in the reign of William 111. "So much the better," said his entertainer, "we have at length a foil for the Russell who was ready to command it in the reign of William IV. Sam Rogers has not left any legacy to Lord John. " Palmerston," says Johnny, " will be amply avenged if Moxon engages him to edit the poet's memoirs." The Duke of Bedford has suggested that a medal be struck to commemorate the defence of Kars, and that its reverse should bear the motto, Cupido triumphans. Sir Benjamin Hall has cast the responsibility of his projected bridge on the Ranger of St. James's-park. The Ranger replies, " It is perfectly just ;" and Sir Benjamin has no occasion henceforth to be solicitous for the c9nstructiou of a single pier Bernal Osborne says Ben Hall and Ben Lomond are both magni fied clods. The one is a mountain in Scotland, and the other a goin' down in the metropolis. Some incredulous Whigs have begun to doubt the existence of a Duke of Bedford, and it is said that he will be taken out of his shrine, aired, dusted, relacquered, and exhibited to the faithful previous to the meeting of Parliament. A railing will be erected across the drawing-room at Brookes's, to keep the worshippers at a respectful distance. The waiters at Brookes's have taken measures to protect the furniture of the Club in case of any outbreak on the part of the non official Whigs. Lord John is prepared to take the responsibility of this or any other event on the political cards. It is said that he intends to change his name to " Temple," and to get re-elected fur Loudon, iu disguise, f Stroud should reject him. X.