The Press. — London, England, 1856-06-07 00:00:00

THE PRESS. JUNE 7, 1856. YANKEE DOODLE IN 1856. BY A NEW ENGLANDER. Yankee Doodle's a'most wild, And drove to desperation ; But 'taint with England he's so riled. But with his own free nation. He guesses Pierce must be a fool If to hisself he riggers We're goin' to war with old John Bull That Kansas may keep niggers. Oh, Pierce ! you aire a darned bad lot, We didn't ought have chose you; But the Whigs stuck up that c►ittur Scott In their Caucus to oppose you. We weren't, I guess, so pesky smart To snub the Giu'ral neither; If fighting is the game you'd start, *He'd ne'er show the white feather. Pierce best be mindin' what he's at, And where his Cab'net's rushing; We ain't a goin' to war—that's flat— For him nor Caleb Cushing. One 'coon may write, and t'other talk, But, Johnny, don't you funk 'eni ; Their stupid brag, I guess, we'll balk, And they'll only spout to Buncombe. In seventy-six we didn't shirk To face the cannon's rattle; And I guess New England did her work On many a field of battle. We fight for Right ; but 'tis a sin Brethren to part asunder, To keel► a set of Rowdies in Poor Uncle Sam to plunder. Then let them prate to German tools And Irish agitators; We Yankee folk are neither fools, Nor to the Union traitors. We will maintain our freeborn laws Against intimidation, And tight when we've a righteous cause, But not on speculation. • General Scott is not a wise man, but he is a respectable citizen and a gallant soldier. Mr. Pierce is neither. He called himself General (he being a New Hampshire attorney), and went to the Mexican war ; but only distinguished himself by faintiag and falling off his war-horse in his first action. THE COUNCIL OF WAR. SCENZ.—The Foreign-office. PERSONAGES.—The Mtnistry. The PREMIER (laughing).—Deuced good—deuced good ! Told, too, better than Vernon Smith generally tells his stories He hasn't even left out the point this time. "So I've taken chloroform."— Capital ! And now for business. Granville, to order. Lord GRANVILLE (takes his chair).—Order, my lords and gen tlemen. Lord CLARENDON.—The business before us is, of course, the American question. Sir C. NVOOD (wisely).—North or South America? I only ask for information. It's of no consequence. Never mind, go on. Lord CLARENDON.—The question with the United States. I have to inform you that Mr. Crampton has been dismissed. (Sen sation.) Sir C. WOOD.—By Jove ! Lord CLARENDON.—Yes, the Capitoline Jove. And, of course, we must now consider what we ought to do. Duke of ARGYLL.—The question lies in a nutshell— Lord PALMERSTON —Yes, but it's not to be settled in a crack. (Laughter.) Do not let us he in a hurry, please. Most important in terests are involved in this discussion, and we must approach it in a calm and statesmanlike spirit. You are aware that we are really drawing on to the question whether we are to have peace or war? Lord PANMURE.-1 say, at once, peace. I have only just finished one war, and I am in no condition to undertake the bother of another. Duke of ARGYLL—That is a personal consideration, which should be excluded. Any-body—l myself—would relieve you of duties to which you are unequal. Lord PANMURE.—Much obliged, but I don't want to be relieved, and I don't want a war. Why, you can't go to war with America? The thing would be wicked, and ridiculous, and—l tell you it's out of the question. Lord CLARENDON.—My dear Panmure— Lord PANmuftE—Downright folly to talk of it. Lord CLARENDON.—My dear Panmure— Lord PANIKURE.---COnfOULlded idiotism. Lord CLARENDON.— My dear Panmure— Lord PANMllRE.—Disgusting imbecility. You may be in this pickle, or that hobble, and there may be ill-feeling, and all that, but war is out of the compass of possibility. Sir C. WOOD.—That's the mariner's compass—l've seen them on board ships—a magnet goes round and round on a card, and so you know the altitude of the sun. (Looks proud.) Lord PALMERSTON.—Dear Pan, the i.uil oisibility is a mistake. Pierce has recognised Walker, and the least collision between one of our ships and a Yankee would bring the thing on at once. Lord PANMURE.—Then you've gone and got us into a pleasant scrape, you have. Lord PALMERSTON —That's not a philosophic way to look at it. A series of events, mutually dependent, have generated a crisis which is more or less satisfactory—we have to consider how to deal with it, not to discuss them. Sir C. WOOD.—But would you have the goodness to explain some thing to me? I only ask for information. What is it Crampton has done to Walker, or Walker to Crampton? It's of no consequence, only I should like to know before deciding. DUKE of ARGYLL—P:4(y be quiet—when the Admiralty is required to act you will be told all that you need know. Nuw, what do we settle ? Is Mr Dallas to be walked otr? Sir C. WOOD (to himself).—Now, who's Dallas, I wonder? I don't like to ask, one gets so snubbed. Lord PALMERSTON.—My lords and gentlemen, this case has an English as well as an American character. I think we should postpone any discussion on its general features, and consider it, just now, simply in our capacity as Ministers. Lord PANMURE.—Which is small. Lord PALmEasToN.—Angry still? for shame ! I thought you called yourself a Christian. I repeat it—in our capacity as Ministers. I presume I am understood? _ Lord PANMIIRE.—You need not play at riddles. Speak out. I suppose you mean with reference to the improvement of our position, and the keeping our places? Lord PALMER'STON.—WeII, well; there is no harm in calling things by their right names, and we must be practical. As for a war, England is exceedingly well prepared for war, thanks to the unequalled genius of my friend the Finance Minister, the unparalleled intellect of my friend the War Minister, and the unapproachable wisdom of my friend the First Lord of the Admiralty So we may dismiss that part of the question. The point is, whether the country is prepared to let us carry on a new struggle. Because, if not, it would be eminently ridiculous in us to increase the chances of a rupture. Peace, you know, is an exceedingly fine thing, and a holy thing, and all that ; and we ought to pause before putting it into peril. I would ask noblemen and gentle men to consider the matter in the interest I have indicated. Mr. LABOCCHERE.—BUt if affairs have come to the crisis you speak of we have no longer much option. Lord PALMERBTON.—WeII, I don't go so far as that. Ido not mean to say that if there were some very strong ground indeed for patching up the ssork, a skilful and judicious hand might not do it. Peace is on the cards ; unless they are played in a particular way she won't come out. Lord CLARENDON —A revoke would do it. Lord PALMERSTON.—Hush—don't show your hand yet. But what do you think, Messieurs ? Should I have to reconstruct our Cabinet, eh ? Mt. V. SMITH —I do not see how you could improve it. Lord PALMERSTON.—And you are a good judge of upholstery, you know. But the decision may be elsewhere. I confess that if we got, unhappily, into war, I should like some little addition to the intellec tual strength around me. Certain vacancies would have to be made. Sir C. WOOD (neruously).—Which, for instance? I only ask for information. Lord PALMERSTON —For instance, in your own department. Would it not be well to ask GrRERM- Sir C. Noon.—No ; certainly not ! By no means! It would be a mistake! Lord PALMERSTON.—Then, you see, the Colonies are very much interested in the subject, and though I don't think Gladstone would— still, if Labouchere were to allow me to offer Mr. LABOUCHERE.—I would shrink from no sacrifice that I believed for the good of my country ; but this I conscientiously think would be so injurious to her that I certainly should decline. Sir C. WOOD.—And very right, too. Lord PALMERSTON —Well, we might arrange otherwise. There are two or three men whom I should like to have about me, and I am sure that offices would be left at my disposed by my colleagues. (Murmurs.) No. But I assure you that in the event of change could hardly be avoided NEARLY ALL THE VOICES.—PeRee ! No war! Lord PA LM ERSTON.—B MVO. I have obtained opinion of my friends. That is ve►y satisfactory Granville, that we have done all that we met to thinks that we are to Millie every effort to avoid America. ALL—Hear, hear, hear! Lord PALMERSTON —SO be it. [The party breaks up. When all are gone except Lore PALMERSTON makes the fallowing minute : Tell Mr. Dallas To cut from the Palace, And tell Mr. Crompton To come to Southampton. Lord PALMERSTON.—TherP. that's quite in Cal Granville? Come and ride. War, my bov—ceite, at Lord GRANVILLE (piously).—The will of Pro , There's a pretty anele—look ! )t a war some such the conscientious ( to me. I think, do. The Cabinet d a collision wish Lora GRANVILLE, Loru.l Lnning's style—eh, t ova aunt ova. vidence be done. ..;