The Press. — London, England, 1855-07-28 00:00:00

THE PRESS. The revolt at Tripoli, in which the Turkish army have been com pletely routed by the Arabs under their native chiefs, is an event pregnant with more danger to the authority of Turkey in those parts of her dominions than is commonly believed. The latest travellers in the East are unanimous in the evidence which they offer of the con tempt in which the power of the Sultan is held by the Arabs, and of their determination to rid themselves, sooner or later, of their feeble conquerors. This defeat of the Turkish army may light the spark which has been long slumbering, and may, perhaps, encourage a more general and serious resistance to her authority. HISTORY OF THE ADMINISTRATIVE REFORM ASSOCIATION. The discontented part of the nation, But chiefly those of the mercantile station, Being somewhat chafed by the heavy taxation, And mad with anger, wrath, and vexation, Met in solemn deliberation, And determined to call a convocation ; Then after a deal of conversation— Hums and Has, Bleatings and Baas— Got up a Reform Association, " Administrative," " Regenerative," " Deliberative," To rectify Government malversation, Especially Whig Job-ministration. First Mr. Lindsay With speeches dins ye; Then the Chevalier Layard (Not gentle, like Bayard) Denounces the Whigs As a set of prigs, Who care for nought but to run their own rigs ; Then about a score Of patriots more Complained of the brothers— The old grandmothers— The aunts and cousins Who flock by dozens— The relations of every denomination, Who join in the Whig Job-ministration. To Dickens they then made application, Got up a theatrical manifestation, Paraded greatly their indignation : But all was proved to be affectation, For when Palmerston talked of resignation They showed the white feather of tergiversation, Ciuldn't bear to hear of his abdication, And—stuck to the Whig Job-ministration ! So, for an end of my narration, The country soon stopped their agitation, For it wouldn't have Whig Job•miniatration. ORDERING THE FISH. A CABINET COUNCIL was held on Wednesday, at the Foreign-office, for the purpose of making arrangements for the Ministerial Whitebait dinner at the close of the session. Fourteen Ministers were present. Lord PALMERSTON called upon Earl Granville to open the very important business of the Council. Whitebait were the order of the day. The session was nearly over, and so now--out of the fire into the frying-pan. ( Laughter.) Earl GRANVILLE said that ho supposed negotiations had better be opened with the proprietors of Waterman No. 12, upon the basis of limiting the navigation of that vessel, on the following Saturday week, to the coast between Whitehall and Greenwich Hospital. (Applause.) He thought that they must demand of the Crown and Sceptre a guarantee that a private room should be kept for them, and also a protectorate for their hats and umbrellas during dinner. Sir CHARLES Woon would prefer to negotiate upon the basis of the Four Pints—of iced-punch. (Great laughter.) Viscount CANNING wished to know whether the Government Tellers came to the whitebait dinner? Lord PALMERSTON : 0 yes; Fish and Counters. (Applause) Mr. VERNON SMITH wished to know whether any despatches had been received from the Crown and Sceptre having any relation to the subject? Lord GRANVILLE said that an outline bill of fare had been sent up for approval and suggestion—as yet, of course, only a mere skeleton Lord PALMERSTON : A skeleton—a delicate attention from the Crown and Spectre. LORD GRANVILLE said that there were some apparently excellent things mentioned, various dishes A l'Alma, a la Balaklava, and so on. There was something down, too, a /a Panmure. Sir G. GREY : That must be a pickle. (Great laughter.) Lord GRANVILLE added that there was also a new gelie ti la Paix Lord PALMERSTON : Jelly ! It should be the Peace de resistance. Sir W. MOLESWORTH : Never mind. It's not the first time people have tried to introduce a peace in the wrong place. 713 Lord PALMERSTON : Not bad, young Colonies. Has anybody any thing to suggest for the good of the Administration generally, and thia dinner in particular ? I wish Russell were here ; his superior knowledge of French would be very useful to us in making out the carte. Lord CLARENDON : Well, I don't know. This carte is to be set before human beings—he is only happy at putting the cart before the horse. (Much applause.) Lord GRANVII.LE : I met him last night. He said he was going to Covent Garden Theatre to see the Hotel du Nord. (Roars.) Sir G. GREY : Argyll wishes the eels left out. Lord PALMERSTON : I'd rather leave him out, if we're driven to the alternative. lam very fond of eels. The eel is a very noble animal, Gentlemen, and worthy of your study. See how dexterously he gets on, wriggle, wriggle, but advancing with every movement, ell ? Duke of ARGYLL: But only to get into a stew at last, eh? Lord PALMERSTON : " God bless the guid Book of Argyll"—and save his friends from him, and especially from his defences of them in the Lords. Lord GRANVILLE : Come, come, I tell you, we aro on business. Have none of you any hint to give ? Have you sat at no good men's feasts, and picked up no notions The Loan CHANCELLOR (timidly): There is one thing I should like, if you thought—if there is no objection—if it wasn't expensive— Lord PALMERSTON : What is it, Cranny ? Out with it. The LORD CHANCELLOR : 1 should like some strawberries. Lord PALMERSTON : And you shall have some strawberries, Cranny. Never ask me for strawberry leaves, you know. The LORD CHANCELLOR (humbly): I hope I know my place better. Mr. VERNON SMITH : I should like some Indian curry. Lord PALMERSTON : Nonsense; what do you know about anything Indian? Mr. VERNON SMTTH : Why, I'm— Lord PALMERSTON : Oh, so you are. Raison de plus that you should know nothing about it. I'll tell you what, though, apropos of your Indian curry, that you'll get some Indian currycombing from Bright if you don't come out with that budget. Is it ready ? Of course not! Mr. VERNON SMITH : Well, who's to comprehend their Hin doostan money, I should like to know? Who's to know what an anna means? Lord PALMERSTON : It is hard to understand women, I admit. But you must give your great mind to the Annas, and the pices, and the rupees—procul e rupe videri—and out with the budget, I tell you. Lord GRANVILLE : I see there's no use trying to keep you to business, so we'll shut up, and I'll take charge of the dinner myself. Lord PALMERSTON : Do so, Granny ; but hi ordering it recollect what I always try to impress upon the House, namely, that "the Government ought to be treated with every delicacy." PAM'S " ONLY ANSWER." Major Ritsn asked the First Lord of the Treasury whether, in the event of circumstances arising during the recess calculated to put an end to hostilities, the noble lord would call l'arlM ment together? . Lord Pamozawrom : The only answer I can give to the question of the hon. end gallant MM. her is, that if during the recess any circumstances should occur rendering it necessary or desir able to call Parliament together sooner than the usual period, hei Modesty's Miniattrs will, of course, (*slit their duty to do so. (Laughter.)—Home of COMIPIOIIB, July $6. Parliament's rather a bore, Wilson has said so before, And I'm free to confess, What most persons will guess, That I'm glad that the session is o'er. Parliament's rather a bore, One's forced to look fierce and to roar, Responses to shirk, And inquiries to burke, And be kept from one's bed until four. Parliament's rather a bore, For every one puts in his oar, And compels me to go Into things which I know As much as the Boy at the Noro. Parliament's rather a bore, One's supporters begin to grow sore, And the Irish, I'm told, All affirm that they're sold, And wish Roebuck would menace once more. Parliament's rather a bore, The Nineveh Bull likes to gore, And one's subs are no use, Charley Wood is a goose, And Smith is a sumph to the core. Parliament's rather a bore, At seventy, one's given to snore, But nine times per night One must stand bolt upright, And let off one's logic at score. Parliament's rather a bore, And, till winter is thoroughly o'er, My dear Major Reed, 'Twill be curious, indeed, If the Speakek comes in at that deer. JULY 28, 1855. __ ~. ••